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jinkieswouldyoulookatthis · 7 months

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Anti-destiel Wank (sorry but I have to)

If you hardcore ship Destiel, please just scroll on by. Please.

Ok, I'm gonna get myself in trouble, I'm sure, but I gotta get this off my chest...

Destiel may be a perfectly fine ship,

but,

IT'S JUST A SHIP.

In the actual context of the show there IS NO ROMANTIC OR SEXUAL TENSION/RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN DEAN AND CAS.*

Full fucking stop.

Subtext can be interpreted in ANY WAY YOU WANT. It is subjective. You will find whatever you look for in it. Please stop waving subtext interpretations around as if they were objective facts, they aren't. Subtext, by its very definition, relies on implied meaning and understanding, this means it is a subjective interpretation of the media that varies from viewer to viewer. The inherent variations are what make it fanon/headcanon instead of canon.

If you see tension of that sort there and it makes you happy to postulate the what if, then go ahead, that is what fanon and head canon and fan fiction is all about. But if the fact that the tension you think you see isn't being addressed in actual canon makes you grumpy, maybe you need to take some of the fanatic out of your fanning. If you are beginning to think the show creators are actively trying to repress Dean's "true sexuality and feelings" because they are evil, you might need to consider that you've dug in too deep.

Because, like I ship wincest. Yeah, I said it. But I am aware that canon doesn't actually include any level of sexual or romantic (in the modern sense) relationship between Sam and Dean. Wincest is not canon.

Now, are Sam and Dean the real "love" story of the show? Yes, yes they are. That has always been 100% the entire point of Supernatural, the great love story of two brothers struggling to save the world together. It's about family and everything that means, but at its heart, it is about Sam and Dean WInchester. Not all kisses and cuddles and sex kind of love, but love nonetheless. Full stop.

Now, the fact that Destiel is such a popular ship is not surprising to me in the least. Jensen and Misha are two gorgeous guys who share a lot of chemistry on screen and off. And, it is canon that Cas loves Dean. That has been evident since Lazarus Rising (4x01) when Cas was introduced. Castiel's love of Dean Winchester has been his character's main motivation all along and culminated with Cas sacrificing himself to save Dean, after telling him that he loved him in Despair (15x18)

But Dean's main motivation has always been to watch out for his brother. And though Castiel became Dean's best friend, he still comes second to Sam. Nothing against Cas, he just isn't Sam.

So why are so many people so absolutely convinced that Destiel is so real within the context of the story?

Well, I'm pretty sure that it is the same reason that they are so opposed to the idea of wincest.

As we all know, incest is bad, mmmkay? Incest is probably one of the biggest, strongest, cultural taboos we have. So it makes perfect sense that the idea of two blood-related brothers having sexual or romantic feelings for each other is considered icky. It's so off putting that it is a complete no go for even fantasizing about for most people. And that's probably a good thing, tbh, incest should be taboo. But where does that taboo spring from? Why is it so deeply off limits? There are several reasons, but the two main ones are:

That incest can lead to inbreeding.

That incest too often involves molestation or rape of children.

Both of these are seriously bad enough that we all pretty much collectively agree to avoid incestuous relationships. But, do either of these two reasons really apply in the case of Sam and Dean?

The short answer is no. Primarily this is because they are fictional characters that are being played by unrelated actors. But to humor the objectors we'll look at it closer.

We can take the first one right off the table. As two cis men, neither of them is capable of becoming pregnant, so outside of the mpreg (male pregnancy) or gender bending subsets of fanfic tropes, this is not applicable.

The second reason only becomes an issue when talking about the characters earlier in their lives, pre-show or flashbacks. Weecest or teencest, or whatever, are things, but these typically have separate ship names for a reason, because even when dealing with fictional characters this squicks a lot of folks who are otherwise down with the wincest ship. So most content is tagged or labeled as its specific flavor, so anyone can find it or avoid it. But wincest that involves adult Sam and Dean (the specific pairing I'm referring to in this post) doesn't apply to the second reason listed above.

So there really is nothing morally wrong with Sam and Dean having sex with each other. I know that statement is going to bother a whole lot of people, but it is true. Just because something is taboo does not automatically make it morally wrong. Being gay used to be taboo in our culture, and is still taboo for way too many people, even though there is nothing morally wrong with homosexuality.

Now, I wasn't in the fandom back at the beginning of the show, but I've heard tell that the very first Sam/Dean fic was posted just a few hours after the pilot episode aired. A few hours, that's all it took for some highly motivated fan to type out a story where they were more than just brothers. The story is called Reunion. If you watch the pilot, even with your anti-incest goggles on, the chemistry between Jared and Jensen is palpable throughout. There is a reason the show lasted for 15 years, and that reason is that Sam and Dean just work on screen so well together. So if it only took one episode for that ship to be born, what did all the future destiel shippers do? Well I imagine they felt somewhat uncomfortable for the first 60 episodes.

Flash forward to season four and the introduction of Castiel. Finally there was another male character for fans squicked by the notion of sweet, sweet brother loving to focus on! Cas was clearly fixated on Dean more than Sam, which followed the plot since Cas had been instructed to rescue Dean from Hell. As it would turn out, the brothers were destined to be the meatsuits that Michael and Lucifer wore to the big prize fight to determine the fate of the world. Prepping Sam for Lucifer involved him consuming demon blood, which made most of the angelic host view him as an abomination, a factor that Cas had to learn to get past in his relationship with the younger brother. But Dean was ready to go right out of the box, no assembly required for Michael. Castiel, and many of his angelic brethren, as well as a lot of Demons, seem to be drawn to Dean in a way that they just aren't drawn to Sam. Is this fair? Hell no. But I mean, look at him! Jensen has sexual tension with literally everything he comes in contact with, people, food, his car, the man oozes sexual attraction. Don't get me wrong, Jared is a sexy fucking ball of sunshine, and our Sammy is a damned attractive man, but he tends to be more repressed and less openly sexual than his brother, so it is what it is.

Where was I going with this? That's a good question. I got a bit distracted, sorry. Oh right...

At its root, destiel is a reactive projection. There is undeniable tension between characters in the show. Since all of the main cast are male, that tension is highly homoerotic. The two main characters, who are undeniably emotionally enmeshed and co-dependent with each other (a very well established canon fact btw), happen to be blood-related brothers. Oh no! Where is all that tension coming from since we cannot admit or accept that it's coming from them? Ah ha! Here is a new male character that we like, yes, it is obviously coming from his interactions with one of the brothers, even though he wasn't in the first 60 episodes. Yes, it all makes perfect sense now, all that tension was merely foreshadowing.

I've read through all the destiel subtext posts. I've gone back and watched all the scenes they reference multiple times with the express purpose of finding destiel. I'm telling you it is just a fanon ship. Which is 100% fine and good, ship that ship, just stop declaring it more canon than canon, because it's not.

And if you don't like fictional incest, cool, cool, you don't have to. But the underlying sexual tension existed in the first 60 episodes prior to Misha being cast on the show, so it was coming from somewhere. And it'd be cooler if you learned how to scroll past people shipping wincest, like I'm sure you do for all the other weirdass, squicky shit that people post all over the internet. But if it makes your heart beat a little faster to imagine that Dean and Cas have eyesex but that Dean and Sam don't, that's fine. I think it's delusional because neither ship is actually canon and both are 100% A-Ok in fanon, and honestly Jensen doesn't seem to be able to control his eyes, which is not something anyone should feel bad about (it's fucking marvelous) but you do you.

*Castiel does love Dean. He confessed as much, but Dean did not reciprocate. What I am referencing is a mutual romance or attraction, which does not exist.

#anti destiel #anti destihellers #anti hellers #wincest #canon vs fanon #fandom wank #destiel wank #I've been sitting on & adding to/refining this post since Feb 2018 time for it to see the light of day

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dotthings · 1 year

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Since I just rewatched 4x14 "Sex and Violence" let me revisit a few things. I really really like this ep, it's darkly psychological and it's a great ep on Sam and Dean's relationship, as well as having bi Dean subtext.

The first victim murders his wife

The second victim murders his mother

The third victim, Dean, the siren tries to goad into killing his brother

So the siren manipulates some people into harming a romantic partner, or manipulates them into harming a family member, a platonic bond. The siren gets off on the violence, the power, of driving someone to that extreme.

Sam and Dean are on different paths this season. Dean misses his brother and he's lonely. They're drifting apart, mistrust is growing between the brothers. The siren takes a male form, FBI agent Nick, to entice Dean. To give him someone who is like-a-brother. But Nick isn't like Sam. Nick is a lot like Dean. He's excited about the Impala, he's knowledgeable on classic rock, he laughs at Dean's jokes. Nick is the siren purposefully honing in on the loneliness in Dean, but in so doing, creates someone who is sort of like a brother but isn't Dean's brother. They aren't brothers. What the siren is playing upon is Dean's wish for a companion who understands him, who he can connect with, and it doesn't have to be his brother.

"I gave him what he wanted and it wasn't some b*tch in a g-string, it was you" is the text. Textually, Nick is using Dean's loneliness due to his slowly growing estrangement from Sam, and giving him a substitute for that.

Nick, along with being a companion, is a potential romantic and sexual partner, which a brother wouldn't be. Those scenes with Nick and Dean in the car...for one thing the siren innately operates in a seductive way and that actor really seems to be leaning into that, and Dean is...Deaning the way he sometimes does with men he's not related to. The way they're looking at each other in the car scene. This is the subtext.

And it's so weird to me that people get attacked or mocked or have had hate threads made about them on twitter dot com just for analyzing all this (I've been trolled for it, other bi Dean fans could probably tell similar horror stories). Even recently, I know it's still been going on -- a few weeks back, some bitter Sam stan tried to claim that if you let in the subtext on bi Dean, that must mean that you are validating w*ncest and that's just not how this works.

In fact it can be both about the platonic sibling bond, and bi Dean subtext (with Dean/Nick as the unspoken potential). The episode is mainly, and most overtly, about the brothers and their strained bond and how the siren preys on that. And I have a lot of feelings about Sam and Dean in this episode. It hurts. It's poignant. That is a platonic bond on the series and one that I really love. At the same time, the bi Dean subtext, the dynamic he has with Nick, the actual seduction siren Nick is playing on Dean, can co-exist with the brothers and their sibling bond troubles. Sam is not a potential romantic or sexual partner for Dean. Nick is. And yes that can be a layer, it's called subtext, while it is ostensibly about Nick filling that loneliness in Dean because Sam and Dean are drifting apart.

We also need to put this in context of the season. This ep isn't about Dean and Cas, but it is in S4 and falls at a time when Dean is drawn to a male companion--an angel, who is not related to him. Who gets him in ways nobody else Dean knows does. An unexpected kindred spirit where Dean never expected to find that. Cas isn't like Nick, Cas is weird, and he doesn't know pop culture and he doesn't know music and he doesn't care about classic cars like Nick does. Nick is an illusion, a seduction, the siren creates The Perfect Person for Dean to get close to. Cas, otoh, is the real deal. He's authentic. The connection between them isn't a seduction, it's Cas being Cas, Dean being Dean, and Cas goes against his orders from Heaven due to his growing attachment to Dean. Cas is making Dean feel a whole lot less lonely in S4 where Dean and Sam are drifting apart and Sam is wading into dangerous waters and isn't listening to Dean. So Sex and Violence isn't about Destiel, but Sex and Violence, Dean and Nick, exist not only in the context of Sam and Dean's relationship, but what's forming between Dean and Cas as well (even if Sam and Dean are obviously most directly relevant as the context).

Scrubbing all that out, and trolling and mocking anyone for unpacking it and making their case for the bi Dean subtext is really weird and it's anti-art and it's anti-interpretation. There's nothing wrong with saying "huh, that's an interesting take, hadn't thought of that. Not sure I see it, but carry on *shrug*" and move on.

Instead, for years, there are stans who attacked subtext and attack analysis of subtext, who laugh at it and call people insane, and are still doing it recently.

This analysis of Sex and Violence is old news, but I hope my revisiting maybe adds something to the discussion of this ep. bi Dean discussion is still going on to this day about it and so is the trolling, and I refuse to be silenced on perfectly reasonable subtextual analysis because some people feel a need to throw immature tantrums. It's utterly unhinged, in a bad way, that some people have been so aggressive about actively trying to silence discussion of bi Dean in Sex and Violence.

#The 15 Year Show #Dean Winchester #Dean is bi #Castiel #Destiel #Nick the siren #Sam and Dean: A work in progress #bi dean meta

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hauntedpearl · 3 days

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pyromaniac dean au always on my damn mind bc i saw this post by @autisticandroids and my brain went hmmm what if Lisa and Ben were in the pyromaniac au. and like yes okay technically i thought we were doing like a s1 thing but also this is an au so who cares no rules.

anyway. what if in between John dying and Jess murder there was like this small period of time when dean did kind of stop setting people and things on fire, but like it didn't stick and also Lisa and Ben were involved probably possibly. like v close to canon parallel. i am still thinking about why he would stop the arson, even temporarily. but I think he should. I think cas should also have started stalking him at this point!!! this is p much fully reassembling the fic events but also MMM IT'S GETTING MORE FUN I THINK!

thinking out loud again. and like with Ben it was a) dean going insane about protecting ben from hunting to the point that he is john-like with him for the opposite reasons — normal parental overcorrection in people I think tbh w you. and b) he did inadvertently cause whatever harm befell those two and then he had to, like, functionally murder them and then he just kept going like that.

w my arsonist dean, it really is just all about control and trying to ground yourself in some version of reality when you're coming unmoored. he has an obsession with fire from a young age and sets controlled fires bc he's fucked up about fire and what not having control over it can do. he becomes a firefighter bc in his head that is also a way to control it. he starts committing crimes when his father dies bc that is a trauma that kind of sends him reeling ala empty spaces dean and like doing this thing where he's orchestrating the lives of these people is doing sth to him I think. he's projecting on everyone and he's saving himself but it's like never enough.

so the only reason he would have to stop arson would be if he was able to, like, exercise that control over his life in some way. a stable relationship dynamic is good, a ritual is good, a kind of mindless droning on of life where everything is exactly as he expects it to be is good, it's grounding. I think ultimately it doesn't work bc it's not good for the other people in the situation. like!!! obviously!!! also it's just not sustainable. it's impossible to truly control every aspect of your life and dean cannot handle the slightest bit of deviation from his Plan™. like so I think the break can be slow bc he starts freaking out over small things like someone not turning off a light or not locking a door or something like that. but it's all a v mild reaction all things considered and within the realm of acceptable. but also I think Lisa is On Edge bc she's not an idiot.

thinking about what would push dean over the edge when he's in this domestic farce of a situation. like I thought about maybe ben getting into his office or something — places, things, he's designated as Personal and like Don't Fucking Touch It. and it's like bc he's in such a precarious state of mind, he's like twigs and duct tape yk? so perhaps he blows up at the kid. and it's like literally nothing. it could just be a really cool looking zeppo or whatever that's on his desk and Ben takes it bc he just wants to show off to his friends or sneak out and smoke a cigarette like a normal 12 y/o. anyway he blows up at the kid and maybe Lisa is like nope. get out. that's it. line crossed.

or maybe he does have a come to Jesus moment almost immediately and they Talk About It as a family and he's like trying to make amends or whatever. either way. glass is cracked now.

idk how but I think it would be fun if there was another fire now in this house (lolololol IM SORRY i just think everything dean touches should be on fire bc of him I think the universe can affirm that to him over and over let him hurt everyone he loves and then go crazy like!!!) and like smoke inhalation CAN cause a coma!! (well like it's cyanide and/or CO poisoning technically but yk.) so maybe ben does go into a coma. maybe dean and lisa look at each other and Lisa like lowkey knows he's doing fucked up shit but she's also like I am not killing myself and my son over this get out like i don't wanna see you I don't wanna hear from you go get your head on straight somewhere and if you think you can handle being normal then maybe we can talk but no get out.

and dean leaves bc he also senses that she senses that sth is v wrong with him and about him, and he realises that he's really just gotta find some way to fix his fucking life and he tries to change so he tries to go find sam and then he kills Jess (still not sure if the fire is on purpose or an accident!) and becomes full crazy i think.

ps: just like as a random possible addition to this already convoluted au, cas being the one to somehow laterally be involved in causing the fire and also the rescue w lisa ben (for canon parallels also bc i just think he's so funny in this fic like why isnhe doing this??? no reason he's just a freak and he's obsessed.)

pps: honestly in the state that he is!!! jess' fire can fully not be his fault, but he still is around and Fails To Save Her and sam could just end up putting the pieces together for other stuff and he connects the right dots but like his main dot is not connected to all that!! but bc he's also obsessive and crazy he's like IM GONNA KILL YOUUU

anyway. ANYWAYY.

#pyromaniac dean au #random additions #lisa & ben things #spn posting #b you are so smart you are always making my brain go brrr but like i don't know where it goes lmao so sorry if this is nonsense #ALSO GENERALLY. DON'T @ ME I KNOW THIS AU IS GETTING NUTS #but realistically im never gonna write it so it's just gonna get weird additions that spiral from now on!

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spnfanficpond · 2 months

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February 2024 Angel Fish Awards

(Angel Fish design by @slytherkins!!)

Every month all of you fantastic writers work your asses off to post some truly incredible stories. Our Angel Fish Awards are the way for all of us, as a community of writers and readers, to lift each other up and give praise to those who have captured our attention and deserve a few kind words. (Click here to learn more about how to nominate a fic for an award!)

Nominated by @spn-fanfic-reblog-writes

Pack by @spnexploration

I love this story. I love the pack dynamics and how they all are despite Dean being the Pack Alpha. I love that they even have an extended pack as well (Claire, for example). I love that the reader has to learn the world and shows a very real world freak out over the information as well as how the pack dynamic and tactics work with and without Dean and Sam. I love how gentle and human Dean and the Reader are together. It’s a very relatable story with new relationships. I related to the Reader’s self-view very, very much. I’m gonna start including pack dynamics in my own a/b/o fics. I love that idea, so so much. Evolution is slow to change, so even if a/b/o was an evolutionary change, it doesn’t mean that all aspects would change with modern day society. Please check the story out and the author. Thanks!

The Cala Lillies of Winchester by @littleangelcassie

This is such an amazing story! Castiel instantly connects with Dean who falls asleep on him while on the bus and Cas being Cas decides to take him home and keep him. Doesnt take long for Dean to agree. It’s an amazing, challenging love story from there that encompasses family, children, health and home, and the challenges of in-laws for their personal and religious views. It’s beautiful and terrifying, and worth the tears.

The Heartbreak Hotel by @naughtystiel

You have to read this is such a fluffy story. It’s like so heart warming, chest squeezing, heart racing and so angsty. I love it. It’s so fluffy that it’s schmoopy. That’s how affectionate and caring it is. Let the story take care of you. Trigger Warning: cheating, survivor’s guilt, bad parent Mary Winchester

~*~*~

Nominated by @mrswhozeewhatsis

If you don't look good, we don't look good by @talltalesandbedtimestories

HOLY HELL!!! This is SO HOT! With feelings, and hair, and brotherly Sam, and HOLY HOTNESS DEAN. *wipes sweat from brow*

~*~*~

Nominated by @mariekoukie6661

Mutually Beneficial by @kittenofdoomage

It's cute, fresh, and I can't wait to see where it goes!!

~*~*~

Nominated by @spencereliotwinchester

Flash by Ellia (AO3)

It’s so simple, yet extremely deep. An amazing take on the masks we wear

~*~*~

Nominated by @thoughtslikeaminefield

(K)not For Sale by @sam-is-my-safe-word

I don’t even go to the school of ABO, but, Kasey, love, you killed me. It’s emotional and anxious and hot, and SB is the Omega. Yes. Good.

Spotless by @stusbunker

FAKE. DATING. I’m epically behind in college comments for this, but it’s so fun and sexy and Stuie!

~*~*~

Nominated by @glygriffe

Wait for the Ricochet by @bobwess

I nominate this fic - first, because it is by Bob Wess and I think everybody in the SPN fandom should read at least one Bob Wess story - second, because it’s a time travel WIP where Dean and Sam meet their younger selves. 16-year-old Dean getting all big brother-y with 36-year-old Sam is precious, and Castiel serving as a buffer between the two versions of Dean is quite an interesting read.

(Divider by @glygriffe)

THANK YOU ALL, KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK, AND AS ALWAYS, HAPPY WRITING!

- From your Admins and Manta Rays, @manawhaat, @mrswhozeewhatsis, @mariekoukie6661, @thoughtslikeaminefield, @spencereliotwinchester, and @heavenssexiestangel!

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profoundbondfanfic · 6 months

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hi!! i was wondering if any of y’all had any destiel fics along the lines of “cas thinks he isn't wanted anymore, but dean shows him he is” or “cas is leaving again, but he thinks it’s for the best, but dean shows him that he’s wanted” those kinda fics? if you ever have time to respond to this question i would very much appreciate it! thank you!

Hello! Yes, here are a few:

Build a Home by domesticadventures [Teen and Up, 20k words]

After they save the world, Dean expects Cas to come back to the bunker with them. He doesn’t.

But Water's Wider by li_izumi [Mature, 29k words]

Without his wings to guide his descent after he was banished by the intruder in the Bunker, Castiel crashes into the ground, leaving his body nearly as broken and bruised as his heart. Only his promise to Dean to protect Sam compels Castiel to stand up again. After days of dragging himself back to the Bunker, Castiel discovers that Sam is all right and Dean is alive! What should be a joyous reunion is marred by Castiel’s self-doubts. If the Winchesters don’t need him, and Heaven doesn’t want him, where does Castiel belong? [Canon divergent from the end of 11x23 Alpha and Omega]

Cuckoo And Nest by komodobits [Explicit, 10k words]

For a long time, Castiel thought that every earthly possession other than the immediately necessary was excess to requirement. But Dean – Dean who named his car, who keeps a photograph of his mother in his wallet, some thirty-plus years after her death, who still has the crumpled ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign with a sleeping pelican emblazoned on it from the Microtel outside of Roanoke where he first kissed Castiel, clumsy and unsure, under the unsteady fluorescence of an exhausted bathroom bulb – is sentimental. It puzzles Castiel, where Dean draws the line between what is meaningful and what it is worthless.

for a guy by jhoom [Teen and Up, 3k words]

Castiel’s made a name for himself as a talented chef, in no small part to Dean’s hard work as his agent. If only Cas’ drug problem wasn’t getting in the way of his work and his relationship with Dean.

Have you ever seen the rain? by zation [Explicit, 81k words]

Thoroughly fed up with Dean’s inability to open up emotionally, Cas walks away only to find comfort in another man’s embrace. Or, The one where Dean realizes his mistakes, but will there be enough time?

If You Get Lost, You Can Always Be Found by WinJennster [Explicit, 25k words]

Days after I’m No Angel, Castiel finds himself exiled from the safety of the bunker. The money Dean gives him runs out all too soon. Luck, or perhaps divine providence, lands him on the Amish farm of Jacob and Lydia Bieler. The Bielers take Cas in. Despite the Amish’s general distrust of outsiders - Englischers - the strange man who can understand their language and isn’t afraid of hard work seems a natural fit amongst them. Castiel thinks he might just go ahead and stay - the farm seems like a good place to heal his broken heart, and maybe forget who broke it. Meanwhile, Dean finds himself so wracked with guilt, he can’t stand to see his own face in the mirror. He doesn't know what's worse; the fact that he threw Cas away or that Sam’s unwillingly - and unwittingly - possessed by an angel. Charlie comes for a visit and decides to stay, and it takes her no time at all to call Dean on his bullshit. With her help and encouragement and a plan to deal with the angel in Sam later, Dean and Charlie set out to find Cas and bring him home. But when they find him, Dean’s surprised that Cas doesn’t want to come home, leaving Dean to face some difficult truths about himself - and how he feels about Castiel.

lonely hearts. by outpastthemoat [General audiences, 4k words]

He thinks he might give up having his own anything just to be able to step foot inside the room next door and sit on the edge of Dean’s bed instead.

Sleight of Hand by aileenrose [Mature, 64k words]

Dean Winchester has interviewed them all--mob bosses, serial killers, crooked politicians. Next he plans to unveil the con-man who markets himself as Castiel, a reclusive and secretive "healer" who claims to heal the sick in return for thousands of dollars. Dean's expecting a challenge, but he never expected Castiel to be so clueless or sweet...or that he might be telling the truth.

Tacoma by ellispark [Mature, 20k words]

After an explosive fight, Castiel leaves the bunker and Dean decides to let him go. As Cas ventures halfway across the country on a journey to find himself, Dean reevaluates what he needs from life. And what he needs is Cas.

The Shape of Regret by Halzbarry [Explicit, 70k words]

Two years ago, Dean walked away from Castiel after discovering his biggest secret—that he’s a witch. Since then, Dean’s spent his days hunting alone, filling the emptiness inside with sex, booze, and the next case. When he gets a desperate call for help from Castiel, Dean doesn’t hesitate to go. But things in the small Maine town aren’t what they seem, especially when he comes face to face with Castiel, who insists he wasn’t the one to place the call. Dean’s been given an opportunity to fix his past mistakes, but it means working alongside a very bitter Castiel, and Benny, a local deputy with knowledge of the supernatural, to figure out what’s plaguing Newport and why it all seems fixated around Castiel.

#destiel #group rec

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cheynovak · 2 months

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Crush part 4

Dean Winchester x Reader (Y/N) & Sam Winchester (Platonic)

Warnings: Fluff, sexual tension, implied smut, alcohol, trauma, aggression,

Side note: English isn’t my first language, please don’t mind little mistakes.

Words: 4800

*Does not follow the SPN storyline! *

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Recap part 3: Y/N is a high school crush/friend of Sam, when they were 16 y/o they attended the same school for a while. But she always liked Dean. Years later despite the trauma and difficult life, they chose to be with each other. Dean tries hard not to take Y/N on hunts but sometimes they have no choice.

Now years later, Dean has the mark of Cain and Y/N is determent to help Sam and Dean. They been through a lot, how will they cope with this challenge?

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“You idiot!” Y/N screamed through the halls of the bunker. “You, you, ... do you ever think, Dean! Just for one second?” - “I take Dean told Y/N about the mark?” Castiel asked Sam who sat in the kitchen while he heard the couple fight. “Yeah, just now.”

“It’s the only way to kill Abaddon! And you know it!” Dean matched her tone. “I don’t care about Abaddon, not if it hurt you!” - “It won’t!” - “Oh yes of course like nothing ever does right? I can’t believe you!”

“Y/N don’t be like that! Everything is fine.” - “You call black outs after killing people fine? Sneaking out to hunt alone so you can kill fine? Who are you? Because I sure as hell don’t recognise you anymore!” She turned her back and walked to the kitchen, clearly surprised to see the angel and Sam. Both looking awkward for witnessing their fight.

“I’m going to kill Crowley.” - “Sweetheart...” He followed her close. “Don’t!” She turned back at him pointing a finger in his face. “How many times do I need to get worried about you? How many times do I need to see you die. Hell, see all of you die?” She waved her arms around. “Why on earth did you trust Crowley. He knew about Cain, he isn’t stupid!”

“Y/N” Sam started in a soft voice. “This isn’t ideal, but we’ll get through it. I don’t like it, just like you but what choice do we have?” - “How about let someone else deal with this for once?” - “Who do you trust with this?” Dean added. “I don’t care Dean, one of these days you’ll die, for real.” - “Then I’ll go down swinging.” He said like it was nothing. “Oh, good for you, but I’ll be the one to burry you!”

Y/N stormed out of the kitchen, grabbed her keys and went for a drive in the middle of the night. Deep inside she knew Dean was right, but why did it had to be him, she was so afraid to lose him. After all they had been through so much, the fear became more and more real.

Dean sat down at the kitchen table. “You weren’t able to keep it from her any longer.” Cas said. “I know, I know she is just worried. But she knows this is our life.” - “It used to be much easier, ghost, vampires, but this, this really scares her.” Sam said looking at his brother’s arm. “Plus, she noticed you being... different.”

“I know. I pushed her away. I’m sure she noticed a difference in my behaviour. It’s not like it's been easy lately.” Dean spoke like he meant hunting, but he knew they had some trouble in their relationship too. It’s not that he didn’t want to work on it, it’s just that the world was now a priority, he knew she would understand.

Y/N arrived back home late that night, she saw Dean already sleeping in bed. She took a deep breath before crawling next to him. Nose to nose she looked at him. “Baby?” He mumbled. “Hm?” -”Please don’t be mad.” He opened one eye slightly “I’m not. I’m concerned.” She gave him a small peck between his brows, before turning around to face the other side of the room.

Dean felt her being distant lately. No more cuddling in bed, no more morning make out sessions, if he was honest almost no intimacy at all. He knew it was his fault, since he had the mark these few weeks, he didn’t feel like it anymore. Which for him was weird. No matter how tired, she could always seduce him, but not anymore.

He knew it made her insecure, but he was too ashamed to talk about it. He thought it would be easier to handle it once the world wasn’t burning anymore. She didn’t push him in to talking about it. But he noticed her being more edgy, easier annoyed, less happy.

The next morning, he woke up noticing she was already up. When he opened the bedroom door, he heard music coming from the kitchen. When he walked in, he saw Y/N swaying to the music... laughing while she made breakfast with his brother. And again, when they were in a bad place, Sam could make her smile. How does he do that Dean wondered.

“Good...morning.” Dean said with a little hesitation. “Goodmorning baby” She smiled softly but stopped dancing while turning the music down. Y/N place a plate with pancakes in front of Dean. “Eat up, before it gets cold.” She said before kissing his shoulder and walking out of the kitchen. His eyes followed her before turning back to Sam, who smiled softly.

“Did she, talked to you lately?” He asked his younger brother. “Well, we talk all the time, a little more specific?” - “About... us?” Sam’s raised one brow. He saw how serious he was in his eyes. “Look it’s not my place to say, but she is afraid, afraid to lose you, again. But also, afraid to lose you.”

Dean looked confused. “She thinks that you are bored of her or something. That you two are still together out of habit or mutual respect. Basically, that you don’t love her anymore.” - “What? That’s ridiculous.” - “I told her that. But she isn’t so sure about your feelings for her anymore.”

After breakfast Dean was determined to talk to Y/N, but unfortunately Crowley came back with information on Abaddon and the boys had to move out really quick. Y/N took a deep breath, “Remember me to kill him after you come back.” She said to Dean while looking at the demon. “I heard that.” - “Good.”

Dean smiled. “So that means you still want me when I get back?” She kissed his lips. “I’ll always want you Dean Winchester, no matter how complicated things are.” One side of his lips curled slightly. “Just get back in one piece.” His hand moved to the back of her neck. “I promise.” he whispered before kissing her back.

----

The indeed got back, but the need to kill became more and more difficult for Dean to handle. He tried so hard to restrain it, knowing Y/N would be worried, but the tension between them didn’t get better.

Next thing they know, they had to face Metatron again. In search of the tabled. But Dean felt he had a shot on killing the messenger of God. When Y/N came back from groceries shopping the bunker was empty. They headed out without telling her what was going on, part from one little text she got from Sam. Found Metatron, going after him. Don’t worry, I got him. Sam meant he was watching his brother. One thing she learned about the Winchesters, they have each other's back, but will also die for each other as long as the other gets to live.

Sam saw Dean get stabbed by the angel blade, rushing to his brother in despair, while Metatron smiled. Sam tried to fight the angel, but he vanished. He held his brother in tears in his arms, not knowing what to do. He knew he needed to bring him home. And face Y/N.

Y/N heard the door of the bunker open. She walked to the stairs smiling, only to see Sam carrying the lifeless body of Dean. Her smile vanished, her hand covered her mouth, eyes starting to tear. She came running towards Sam. “No, no, no, NO. Dean... baby?” - “I’m sorry.” Was all Sam repeatedly cried when she held his face in her hands.

Sam placed his brother on their bed. Y/N sat beside him, cleaned the blood of his face and hands. “Come on baby, wake up.” She whispered under her breath, she had no idea how long she sat beside him before she got up and walked back to Sam. Could have been 5 minutes or 5 hours.

Without saying a word, she took the bottle in front of him and poured herself a glass. “Y/N, I...” - “I don’t want to hear it Sam, you find a way to bring him back. I don’t care what we need to do. Who I need to sell my soul to, YOU bring him BACK.” Tears rolled down her cheeks when she walked away with the glass in her hand.

Sam was trying to summon Crowley little did they know he was already visiting, knowing what would happen to Dean next.

Sammy, let me go.

“That’s all?” Y/N teared up looking at the note Dean left. He didn’t even think of her? After all these years. Sam noticed her struggle. “I’m not giving up Y/N, if Dean is a demon, I will find a way to bring him back.” She nodded before she felt his arms pulling her into a hug.

“I’m sure he thought of you too. Probably to fixated on leaving.” - “Or I don’t care enough.” He felt her tears on his shirt. “No, he needs you as much as you need him.”

“You’re not going alone Sam, I’m not letting you out of my sight.” Y/N stood arms crossed on the stairs. Weeks have been passed and Sam left her with the research while going solo on trips. Only this time he came back with a dislocated shoulder.

She saw the hesitation in his eyes. “I know I’m no hunter, not like you guys, but I’ve been living this life just like you over the past few years.” She sighs “This is my fight too.”

“Ok, let’s find them.” He said while turning her on the stairs. Every alert possible was installed on their phones. They searched for every crossroad demon, trying to find intel. Sam became more and more reckless, Y/N could see the disperse growing inside him.

One night she and Sam sat down at a local diner “Dean is clearly keeping a low profile. So, do me a favour, try to enjoy the food.” Y/N looked at her phone. “Sam... Wait a minute. This may be a long shot but that bar...” She pointed at the map on her phone. “Dean used to tell me about it. Something with great beers and music?”

Little did they know Dean tried to life the best life ever. Crowley tried to use him for his own personal amusements, of course. “You know Dean, those two are closing up on us. We might want to leave soon.”

“You know Crowley, for a demon you do really care a lot.” He waved at the bartender asking for another shot and a cocktail with an umbrella for the ‘lady’ next to him. While he smiled at Crowley.

“Listening to you singing the same 3 songs on karaoke has been a blast, watching you sticking your tongue down the throat of hottest chicks, I don’t care. You do you. But I really don’t want to get murdered by your brother and ex-girlfriend.”

Y/N and Sam’s car broke down just a few miles away from the bar. A nice man stopped his car and asked if they could use some help, pretends to inspect the engine, He reveals that the reason the car stopped is because of a "killswitch" that he himself is able to operate via remote.

Before Sam can pull out his gun from behind his back, He knocks him out cold. Y/N tried to get the gun out of the glovebox but the gun against her head made her lift her hands. “My issue isn’t with you sweetheart. Turn around and keep walking away from the car.”

Sam wakes up to find himself strapped to a chair, Cole, the man, explains that he is using Sam as a bargaining chip to lure Dean and kill him. Sam warns Cole that Dean is now a monster, but Cole naively rebuffs saying that he knows he is a monster and that now Dean is the prey.

Cole calls Dean and demands a trade, but Dean is apathetic towards his brother's capture, as he warned Sam not to come looking for him. “Listen Sammy, I told you to let me go. You are just too stubborn.” - “Well, Sam, it looks like a should have taken your girlfriend with us. Since your brother isn’t going to be of much help.”

Dean’s voice changed a on the phone. “You brought Y/N?!” Sam knew he was pissed. You left her, what was I supposed to do? He thought. “Oh-oh, trouble in paradise.” Cole added. “Listen, Cole, was it? Do whatever you want. But if our paths cross, you’re dead.” Dean said with a calm voice before he hung up the phone.

Y/N walked to the nearest motel, which took her almost an entire night. Luckly, she had some money in her phones case hidden. The clerk gave her a set of keys. Y/N was glad she could take at least a shower and a few hours of sleep before creating a plan of finding Sam.

But when she lied down in bed and closed her eyes, she could hear her neighbours, or at least the girl. Realising they weren’t planning on getting sleep anytime soon. “Great, cheap motel walls.” She said under her breath. She walked back to the bathroom finding something to stuff her ears with.

By morning she woke up by the sound of what she thought would be Crowley. “Seriously on my bed?” Y/N almost flew out of bed and opened the door only to bump into the blonde girl who she heard last night. “I’m sorry.” Y/N said but got nothing but a dirty look.

Then she saw Crowley's head pop out of the room next door. “Oh no.” Y/N held her foot between the door he just wanted to close. “CROWLEY!” She burst through, seeing Dean in the bed. The world underneath her feet crumbled. “D-Dean?”

“What are you doing here Y/N?” Was all his stone-cold voice said. “I-I came with Sam to find you, but he...” - “Yeah kidnapped, Cole, wants me.” - “And you let him have your brother?” - “Well, I was a little busy.” He said while going with his hands over his bed hair. “Yeah, I heard.” - “Kinky, if I knew you where next door would’ve asked you to join.” He grinned.

She looked over at Crowley, who to her surprise looked apologetic maybe even with a little sympathy for her. “Where you going?” Dean asked when she finally felt her feet again and turned. “I need to find Sam.” - “So, you went to all this trouble to find me, now that you have, you walk away?” Dean got up.

“Well, you’re clearly not trying to save your brother, and...” She thought hard about her next words. You cheated, you left me, you hurt me, you’re not you anymore, I can’t look at you. “I guess we all have moved on since you left us, I care for him more than ever. I need him to be safe.”

She looked back at Crowley. “I know, you’ll kill me when you see me again.” She nodded before closing the door. “Well, that was awkward.” Crowley turned to Dean. Seeing a little fraction of human emotion in Deans eyes. She hurts him in a place he didn’t knew he still felt.

Y/N decided to walk back to the car, but halfway there a car stopped in front of her. “Y/N?” - “Oh god, SAM!” She ran straight to him, her arms wrapped around his waist. “I’m glad I found you, I was so worried.” - “You were worried? Sam, you were kidnapped.” - “And my best friend was out there alone.”

Thanks to the intel from Y/N her previous encounter with Dean, Sam found his brother quickly. The ride home however wasn’t very pleasant. “So, Sammy. I heard you and Y/N spent quite some time together lately. Tell me, did the high school butterflies came back? Have you been wooing her? Maybe even shared a little kiss?” - “SHUT UP DEAN!” They shouted at the same time.

When they locked Dean in the dungeon, he looked at her standing at the door, while Sam checked the traps and the spell work around him. Y/N broke the eye contact she had with Dean when Sam walked towards her. She placed a hand on his shoulder. “He won’t go anywhere.” He said holding his hand over hers.

Dean rolled his eyes.

The next day Sam started to inject Dean with the purified blood. Y/N could hear him scream, she had promised Sam not to go down there. “Does it hurt him?” She asked with a tremble in her voice. Sam sighs, “I’m not sure if it’s real or he just fakes it to stop me.”

“Maybe I should face him? See if it works.” - “No, I don’t want you to see him like this. The things he says... It’s horrible.” She nodded but decided to take a peek the next time anyway. “You know Sammy, I would never think you would go for my leftovers.” Sam did his best to ignore his brother.

“I mean, I had always known she is your type. Hell, you would whine about her day and night, how she was the one for you. I should have known you would take her when you saw an opening.” - “Dean, you left, you fucked around, literally. But you expect me to wait for you to come home?” Y/N walked towards the circle.

Seeing Y/N made it hard on Dean to act like he still didn’t feel the blood working. “You haven’t touched me in ages, but I have to act like a nun while you play the pornstar is that it?” He didn’t answer. God she wanted to slap that smug face of his.

“Y/N? Why are you here?” Sam asked in his caring voice. “I wanted to say I need some fresh air.” She placed her hand on his shoulder before she stood on her toes to kiss his cheek, I’ll be right back. Sam understood the assignment, this was the perfect way of seeing if Dean still cared.

She walked back but right before she turned through the door Sam called her. He grabbed her hand, but she backs up against the wall just outside the door, in the hall. “Trust me” She mouthed. “I’m going to be fine Sam.” said quietly, while looking at his lips. “I know, I just...” Sam matched her voice before closed the space between their lips.

Dean sat in the chair not seeing them, but he could clearly hear them. When Sam didn’t complete his answer, it hit him. “Really guys!” No answer, “Find yourself a room!” Dean heard nothing but a deep breath coming from his brother.

“Be safe ok?” He said before kissing the top of her head.

By the time Y/N got back, Sam was eating pizza, “bought your favourite.” He said while looking at her, he placed his finger of his mouth, telling her he could still hear them. She took a seat on the table next to Sam’s plate. “You think he can hear us?” Sam nodded.

Y/N took out her phone “Did it work?” the texted him, “I don’t know.” Sam answered honestly. He hung back in his chair. “I’m not sure about any of these treatments.” - “We’ll figure this out, together.” She pinched his shoulder before grabbing a plate from the kitchen.

That night Y/N had a really vivid dream, for some reasons their experiments on Dean turned against them. His body shuts down, both she and Sam ran towards him but when they undid the trap and untied him from the chair, but then he hit Sam knock out on the floor before he choked the life out of her.

By the time she woke up screaming Sam ran through the door. “Hey, hey you’re ok.” He hushed her, holding her in his arms. “I’m here, it was just a dream. Shh, I got you.” Y/N couldn’t hold back, in full panic she bursts into tears. “Oh, Sam it was awful!” - “It was just a dream Y/N.”

Sam comforts her for a few hours before she heard his breath getting heavy. She looked up, seeing her best friend had fallen asleep while holding her. She tried to get out of his grip, but when she moved, he woke up. “What’s going on?” He asked sleepy. “Lay down, it’s more comfortably.” she whispered.

Since he was still half asleep, she could push him against her pillow. Throwing an extra blanked over him. Way to short but it was the idea that counted. She placed her head back against Dean’s pillow. She could still smell his aftershave on it. Not long after they both fell asleep.

Y/N woke up by the movement of her bed. She noticed how Sam got up, “Hey.” she said, her voice still sounding sleepy. “Morning. I’m going to check on Dean. Try to sleep some more.” His lips curled into a smile.

She didn’t sleep anymore, she just thought how lucky she was she had Sam in this situation. No idea how he could keep his cool every time he had to go take care of Dean. Lucky how he didn’t make this into an awkward situation, just a friend helping another friend.

“Y/N!” She heard Sam yell. “Yeah?” she got up and ran towards Sam, who met her halfway. “He is gone.” - “What? How?” - “I don’t know but he got out.” They both ran towards the control room where Dean stood waiting for them. Sam pushed Y/N behind him when he saw his brother. “You know seeing you two all cosy and cuddly in my bed made me realise something.”

Dean’s eyes turned black. “I should have left you to rot with those vampires when I had the chance.” - “Y/N run, RUN.” Sam pushed her away. “Oh Sammy, do you really think you two are going to have a happy ending?” - “It’s nothing like that.” He tried to distract his brother so she could find a place to hide.

“What? This isn’t like the last time? What was it you said again, Oh yeah: I don’t think about her like that.” Dean walked slowly closer to Sam, “I don’t care that you fucked her, each have our needs Sammy, no hard feelings.” Sam frowned at his brother. “Did she do that thing with her tongue? Feels good doesn't it.” He grinned, standing toe to toe with him now. “What?”

Before Sam could say anything more, Dean had pushed him aside. When Sam got up, he immediately locket the bunker. Turning the lighting red. Dean broke a few doors trying to find Y/N again. Little did he know Y/N had been praying to Castiel. Who thankfully appeared and helped both her and Sam.

A little while later they managed to bring Dean back.

He stood in the bathroom, hanging on the sink while looking at his reflection. He said he needed a shower to ‘clean up’ but really, he didn’t want to be around Y/N. He felt ashamed of what he did. The bathroom door opened, he saw her walking towards him, Dean quickly looked back in front of him.

Y/N walked behind him. “How are you feeling?” She asked. “Good.” Was all he said. She couldn’t hold back, she wrapped her arms around his torso. Placing her cheek between his shoulders, taking a deep breath, his warm and reliable smell filled her nose. “I missed you.” She admitted before giving him the space she knows he needed.

“Y/N?” she turned back to him, “Where do you want me to sleep?” Y/N frowned her brows, “In our bed?” - “Are you sure.” - “Dean, I know we need to talk about... everything.” she took a deep breath, “I just hoped we could work this out.” - “Wait you... you still want me?” She smiled soft. “Just get to bed, we’ll talk then.”

Dean felt nervous, not knowing how this conversation will go. He walked in the room noticing Y/N wasn’t there yet. “Hey, got us a beer.” She handed it to him while she got on bed sitting with her legs crossed. “Why are you so nice?” He blurred out. “I’m done fighting Dean.” He felt his chest getting heavy.

After a silence Y/N spoke, “I think the most important question is. Do you still want this, us?” She looked at the beer bottle in her hand. “Me?” Dean now took a seat on the bed facing her. “I want nothing more. But I messed up, so if you don’t want to... I’d understand.”

“I told you before I will always want you, but things need to be different from now on.” He listened to her. “I want you to talk to me before you make choices that affects us all. You talk to Sam or Cas about hunting but forget about me. I’m as much part of your life as them Dean.” He saw the tears shine in her eyes again.

“All I wanted was to keep you safe, sweetheart.” She nodded rapidly, “I know, I really do, but you can’t. A few hours ago, you chased me through these halls, trying to kill me.” Hearing those words coming out of her mouth made Dean emotional.

“And I don’t even care about what you did when you were a demon. You were not you, I know that, but you need to give me time to get over, seeing you, hearing her, realising that you...” A tear fell down his cheek. “I’m so, so sorry baby. I wish I could take it back. Undo a lot.”

After a heart to heart, they agreed on telling each other everything. Talk more and give time to heal. She got up and softly kissed Dean’s lips. “My turn to shower.” She smiled wiping away the last few tears.

Dean made himself comfortable in the bed waiting for her to come back. He heard Sam talking to her outside their room. “Are you guys ok? - “We will be, thanks Sam.” Y/N got inside noticed Dean waiting for her.

She crawled in bed on her side, only to move closer to Dean, he lifted his arm around her while her cheek snuggled against his chest. Dean kissed her hair, scared of the question he was about to ask. “Sweetheart, I got to ask. You and Sam?”

“You believed that?” - “I heard you kiss. Saw you in this bed.” - “I wanted to see if you were affected by that, see if we could bring a part of your humanity to the horizon. And he fell asleep in this bed when I had a nightmare.” Y/N lifted herself up a little. “Sam and I, we’re still just friends, part from one staged kiss, nothing happened.”

She cupped his cheek, “Why do you keep worrying?” - “I left you, you saw me with another girl, but even before that we didn’t make love anymore.” Y/N sighs, I know. Her hand moved over his arm, “Was it just the mark?” - “I felt scared to be close to you. Scared I would black out and hurt you.”

Y/N moved again, holding his face now in both hands, while her legs straddled him. “Baby, look at me. Mark or no mark, demon or not, you will never, ever physically hurt me. You could have, but you let Sam stall you.” She let her forehead touch his. “I trust you Dean.”

His hands moved to her back, holding her while her lips found his. Unconsciously she grinded against his hips. In despair, needing to feel him. His lips travelled down to her neck. “Besides, who says I don’t like it a little rougher.” She breathed out, earning a soft moan coming from Dean’s lips.

Turning her over to her back. Hovering over her.

“Damn sweetheart. I missed you.”

-----

If you liked this story check out my masterlist.

#fanfic #fluff #smut #spn #supernatural #dean winchester #x reader #jensen fucking ackles #jensen ackles #sammy #sam winchester #dean #jared padalecki #spn smut #the boys #spnfandom #spnedit

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octoberclidan · 1 year

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Third-Date-Curse

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader, Sam Winchester x Reader, Castiel x Reader (platonic)

Request: I was wondering if you could do a team free will x reader of them cheering her up

Summary: Reader goes out on a third date with a guy she's been seeing and it doesn't go well. Dean goes to get her and brings her back to the bunker where he, Sam, and Cas try to cheer her up.

Masterlist

Part II

Story:

[Y/N] was in her room in the bunker in front of her mirror trying to sort out her hair. She had a date tonight with a guy who she'd met several weeks previous at a bar not far from the bunker after a successful hunt. This was actually her third date with the guy, Ross, and she was feeling pretty nervous about it. The first two dates had gone well; the first just drinks at the bar, the second was out for dinner, and the third, the one tonight, was going to be drinks at the bar again. [Y/N] was worried about the 'third-date-curse' as she called it. From her experience, she could rarely get past date number three. Even if the guy was super nice, considerate, not pushy or anything on the first two dates, the third date was when his true colours would show.

[Y/N] had done one night stands before, much like Sam and Dean, but sometimes she just wanted something more. It just always went wrong at the third date. The third date was when the guy would be more pushy about going back to his place, or going to a local motel. The third date was when the goodnight kiss was more handsy, there were more intentions behind it. She wanted to take it slow with someone, keep it light and romantic for awhile first, maybe only sleep with him once they'd established somewhat of a more formal relationship. She hadn't dated in almost over a year when she met Ross, and they hit it off straight away, so when he asked her out she said yes.

The boys hadn't seemed overly supportive of her dating. They were all protective of her, and sometimes over-protective when it came to things like dating. All three of them had blocked men from her by standing between them at bars at some point. They knew she was tough, that she could handle herself. They had seen her take on ghouls and ghosts and vampires and demons all by herself and come out without a scratch. She had rescued all three of them on various occasions, she had hauled their unconscious bodied back to the car and driven them to safety; they knew she was by no means weak. They were fine with her hunting monsters, as long as she didn't go off on her own, none of them did that. Men on the other hand... Dean, Sam, and Cas couldn't help but feel a bit helpless in that department. They couldn't follow her around on dates, they couldn't watch her back going to a man's house, they couldn't expect her to check in when she'd gone off somewhere for a night. They just found it difficult to accept. Although she appreciated the protectiveness and found it sweet, it also got annoying sometimes.

She was just finishing up in the mirror when there was a knock on her door. "It's open!" She called. The door opened and Cas stepped in. He was holding a bag of what looked like various snacks.

"Why are you getting dressed up for movie night? You usually get into your pyjamas". He asked.

"Cas we talked about this, I have a date tonight. I'll be at the next movie night, promise". She smiled at him. She giggled as his expression turned from one of confusion to one of disapproval. "What's with the face?" She asked him as she moved to her bed to look through her bag and made sure she had everything she needed.

"Why do you want to go on a date instead of a movie night? I thought you liked our time together".

"I love our time together, but sometimes I need to just get out of the bunker and do something different. I think Sam and Dean have already set up everything for the movie night, they're just missing you and the snacks. I'll be home later this evening, you won't even notice I've been gone". She slipped on her jacket and was now tying her shoe laces.

"You missed movie night last week too". He pointed out. "Is this the same guy?"

"Yes, Cas, it's the same guy".

"What's his name?"

"Ross".

"Where are you meeting him?"

"At the bar".

"The usual one?"

"Yup!"

"What does this Ross do?"

"He's a lawyer".

"How old is he?"

"Cas, is this an interrogation or something?" [Y/N] was now ready to leave and had slipped her bag over her shoulder, she was just waiting on Cas to move out of her doorway now.

"I just don't trust that his intentions are pure".

[Y/N] sighed, her nerves were turning her feelings of amusement towards Cas to feelings of annoyance. She folded her arms and raised an eyebrow at him. "You've never even met him Cas".

"Exactly".

"Look, I appreciate the concern, I really do, okay?" She reached out to put a hand on his shoulder. "But I'm an adult, and I've been a hunter my entire adult life, I can handle a human man. We're just going out for drinks, we already have before. I promise if I need back up, I'll call". He didn't look happy with this, but he moved aside to let her out of her room. "Tell Sam and Dean to enjoy the movie too!" She called out as she made her way down the hall and towards the bunker's exit. The bar wasn't far, she was going to walk, and use the time walking to calm her nerves and convince herself that the date was going to be fine, Ross was nice, she'd already gone out with him twice, it was going to go well.

***

It was not going well. Ross had been thirty minutes late, and when he arrived he had clearly already had something to drink. Only twenty minutes into the date he was already suggesting they go back to his place. "I think we're good here for now, we've not been here long". She said as she took a sip from her drink and smiled at him.

"C'mon, you know me well enough now. How many drinks have I bought you?" He wasn't drunk quite yet, but he was beginning to slur his words a little, his movements becoming slightly sloppy as he placed his hand on her thigh. She grimaced and gently pushed his hand off.

"I've paid for my own drinks so far tonight actually, so none? Is this just about sex for you? You're trying to 'buy' me with drinks?" She was more disappointed than upset at the moment. The third-date-curse was proving to be unbreakable at this point. He just scoffed and took another drink.

"So you're not gonna put out tonight?"

"I just wanted a nice date, a chat, get to know each other better".

"Right... well I think I'll try my luck with that lovely lady over there instead. Nice meeting you". He nodded towards a woman sitting on her own who smirked when she saw Ross looking at her, and he stood up to leave [Y/N] on her own, taking his drink with him. [Y/N] stood up and made her way to the bathroom, she didn't want to cry in front of anyone. She closed the door behind her and turned to look into the mirror. Her eyes were starting to water, her making starting to run. She looked at her outfit that she had carefully chosen, an outfit she felt good in. She looked at her hair, her make up, her jewellery, all things that she had spent time on this evening.

"Why do I even bother". She muttered to herself as she took a piece of tissue and held it up to her eyes. She took deep breaths, trying to calm herself down and not full on cry. Her phone buzzed and she looked at it to see Dean's name on her screen. Sighing, she unlocked her phone to see what he wanted.

9.23pm: Dean: How's it going? You're missing a good one tonight. Sam's choice, and he's already fallen asleep.

9.23pm: [Y/N]: That bad huh?

9.25pm: Dean: I'm gonna see if Cas will let me change it to something else, Sam's snoring so I don't think he'll mind. How's the date going?

9.26pm: [Y/N]: It's over, he's gone off with some other girl.

9.28pm: Incoming call from Dean.

[Y/N] let it ring for a few seconds, sniffing before answering. "Hi". She whispered.

"Hi Sweetheart, where are you?"

"The bar, bathroom. Gonna walk back now".

"Wait outside, I'll come get you".

"I can walk".

"I'm already in the car, I'll be there in a few minutes. Wait outside for me".

"Okay". She sniffed again and hung up. She took another deep breath and avoided the mirror, wiping her eyes once more before opening the door and making her way to the exit as quickly as possible, avoiding any eye contact with anyone, especially Ross or his new date. She was only standing outside for two minutes when the Impala pulled up right next to her. Opening the passenger door she slid in quietly beside Dean. "I don't want to talk about it". She muttered and looked out of the window.

"Is he still in there?" He asked. She shrugged and then nodded.

"I didn't see him leave".

"Okay, just wait two minutes". [Y/N] had no time to call Dean back before he was out of the car and pushing the bar door open, disappearing inside. Several minutes later she saw him walk out the door, an unmistakable look of smugness on his face as he walked around to the driver's side. She just stared at him as he started up the car, and when he wrapped his hands around the wheel she noticed that his knuckles were red.

"Dean!" She gasped and he turned to her.

"What?"

"Did you beat him up?"

"The slimy guy in the cheap suit who put his hand up when I asked for a 'Ross'? Yeah". He shrugged and started to pull out onto the road.

"I can't believe you did that". She shook her head and glared at him. "He wasn't a monster Dean, he was just a dick. That's our local bar, do you wanna get banned?" She didn't feel any sympathy for Ross, but the entire team spent a lot of time in that bar and until now, none of them has managed to cause a scene or get any sort of warning. Celebrating in that bar after a successful hunt was one of [Y/N]'s favourite things to do.

"Woah, I didn't kill him!" He put a hand up in defense. Quickly glancing over at her before looking back at the road. "I just taught him a lesson. No one hurts my family. Not without consequences". Her glare softened into a small smile. Knowing that Ross was probably hurting more than she was now did bring her a sense of comfort.

"You'll have to let me look at your hand when we get back". She said, relaxing back into her seat for the short drive home.

***

Dean and [Y/N] walked into the bunker, and she ushered him over to a chair at the map table. "I didn't even break skin [Y/N], it's fine". He moved to stand up again but she pushed him down by his shoulders.

"Your hand is swollen, just let me get some ice and take a proper look".

"Hey! You're back". Sam walked into the room and saw Dean holding his hand. "Thought you just went to pick her up? You find a hunt in the fifteen minutes that you were gone?"

"He found my date and 'taught him a lesson'." [Y/N] explained as she rolled her eyes. "Can you get some ice please?" She asked Sam.

"Sure, of course. Are you okay?" He walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in for a hug".

"Yeah I'm fine, it was just the third-date-curse". She mumbled into his chest. She had had multiple in-depth discussions about third dates with Sam in the past, so he knew exactly what she was talking about. While she had managed to keep the tears back in the car, feeling better due to Dean's actions, the hug just let her emotions spill over. She could feel the tears trickling out and she sniffed. He pulled back and put his hands on her shoulders, slightly bending down to look at her properly. He brought his thumb up and wiped a tear from her cheek.

"Sorry, I got make-up on your shirt". She said, wiping her eyes and seeing the black smudge on the back of her hand.

"Do you wanna have a warm shower, change into your pyjamas, and join us for a movie? Or even just a little chat before you go to bed?" He asked, smiling down at her. She sniffed again and nodded. "Okay, come on, I'll walk with you". Cas walked in just as Sam put his arm around [Y/N]'s shoulder. He was about to say something when Sam cut him off. "Hey Cas, could you take a look at Dean's hand? I'll be back in a few minutes". Sam and [Y/N] walked towards [Y/N]'s room, and [Y/N] made her way to her drawer to pull out her pyjamas as Sam sat down on her bed. "Do you wanna talk about it? Just you and me?" Sam asked. She sighed and walked over to the bed to sit beside him.

"I just feel like it's pointless. I think I find a nice guy, but then, every time without fail, by the third date it's clear he just wants sex. Ross was half an hour late to our date too, it's like they just see me as a warm body, not a person". Sam put his arm around her and pulled her closer so her head was leaning on his shoulder.

"You have three guys here who love you. I know it's not the same thing, but you're everything to us. Why don't we take you on a date tomorrow? All of us. We'll take you for a drive, buy you coffee, go see a movie, buy you dinner, then drinks after, then we'll take you home and make sure you get into bed safely". He squeezed her. "We can even give you a goodnight kiss each if you want". He chuckled.

"I'd like that". She whispered. He gave her one last squeeze before standing up and pulling her with him.

"Go take your shower, meet us in the Dean Cave after, Dean sent Cas out to get pie while he was getting you so we'll have that and just chill out for awhile okay? I'll let them know about our date tomorrow". She nodded and took her stuff to the bathroom. She enjoyed the hot shower, getting all the make up off her face. She stood there and let the water rinse her tears away, and she definitely felt better afterwards. She dried off and got dressed in her pyjamas, tied up her wet hair and made her way down to the Dean Cave.

"Hey". Dean smiled at her as she walked in. There was pie on the table, and he was setting out plates and forks for them.

"Hey". She said back.

"Are you feeling better from the shower?" Cas asked from the couch. She nodded and looked around, noticing that Sam wasn't there, when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked back to see him behind her, holding a hairbrush.

"I know you like having your hair brushed when you're feeling sick. I know you're not sick now, but I figured I could brush it and braid it for you anyway?" He sat down on the couch beside Cas and gestured for her to sit on the floor between his legs. She smiled at him and sat down. He took down her hair and began to gently brush through it from the bottom.

"You'd never guess you were the best hunters in the world". She giggled as Dean handed her a plate of pie.

"And an angel". Cas added.

"And an angel'. She agreed, giggling more when she looked at Cas to see he had pie on his nose.

"You can be strong and tough but also vulnerable, especially around those you're comfortable with". Sam said as he began to braid her hair.

The four of them talked until well into the night, finishing off the pie and discussing their 'date' tomorrow. [Y/N] had completely forgotten about Ross as she fell asleep with her head on Cas's shoulder, sitting in between him and Sam. "I think someone's asleep" Dean said in a low voice, nodding towards her. Sam and Cas looked down at her fondly and Sam stood up. He gathered up the plates and forks.

"We'll plan to leave around noon tomorrow for the day?" He asked, making sure to keep his voice down. Dean and Cas nodded in agreement before Sam left the room.

"Alright, let's get this one to bed". Dean said as he stood up from his chair. He gently scooped her up into his arms with Cas' help, and Cas stood up beside them. He pressed a kiss to [Y/N]'s forehead before letting Dean carry her to her room. Dean slowly lay her down on the bed and pulled her covers up over her, tucking her in. He ran his thumb over her cheek and leaned down to also kiss her forehead. "Sleep well [Y/N], we'll make sure tomorrow is better than any normal date could be". He whispered to her. He turned off the light and closed the door behind him. What she didn't know was that Dean, Sam, and Cas were just as excited about the 'date' as she was, and needed it just as much as she did.

The end

Read part II here

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destiel-wings · 1 year

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I've gathered some of my thoughts about The Winchesters season finale and here's why i think it gave me some peace

(yes, this does contain a destiel interpretation, too 💚💙)

Did i want to see Cas in it? Yes.

Was i disappointed that he wasn't? Actually, no (more on that later).

But I loved it. I was so stunned as I saw it and I felt like somehow it healed some of the wounds from the spn finale... but i couldn't quite understand why.

Here's why.

We basically watched Supernatural. Jensen reopened the finale and went further with it. What we saw in The Winchesters felt like a continuation of 15x20, even if it technically happened in between the last two scenes of the finale. But we got Bobby, we got Jack. They all actually talked, in a way that felt alive and real. Jack broke his rule of no interfering, showing that he still cared for Dean (just like he had broken his own rule off screen by saving Cas from the Empty). The Winchesters wasn't a prequel, but a sequel.

Dean got his own story, got to make something for himself (instead of just waiting for Sam on a bridge), and it's something that he wanted to do. He went back to look for hope and love, for a version of his parents where they could have a real chance.

We learn love (or we don't) and how to be in a happy relationship as kids by watching our parents, and Dean was doomed that way. He never had that example, to learn how to build a relationship and let himself be loved. He never learned that. So when he gets to heaven and he has the chance, before getting on that bridge, before meeting up with his family, with Sam... and yes, with Cas (even if we haven't seen him yet), he just needs a freaking minute. He needs a little time to himself. To reconnect. To understand. To reflect on love and what it means to love and be loved.

So he does what any fond child would do... he looks up at his parents. Only his parents that are right there in heaven didn't exactly have a happy ending (or even a happy middle), so he explores further, searching for a chance, a hope, a version of his own legacy where love was possible. Because if his parents can make it... so can he.

And we see all that through his own lenses (the weird use of the camera lenses with all those flares and glow resembles the aura of Dean's drive in heaven, thinking about it in retrospect).

screencaps of the glowy amber look and those camera flares, there's probably better examples but these are some of the best ones i could find

Dean's mission might have been the Akrida, but the reason he went looking, the real quest he was after, was hope. Hope for a happy ending. Hope for love, where said love was doomed from the start.

And it's not surprising that there were destiel parallels everywhere, because that was Dean's POV, and he's processing his own feelings. Which is something he needs to do before he sees Cas again.

And personally, I think Dean loves Cas back and he knew that before dying, but still, that doesn't mean that he's not afraid of messing it up. That he knows how to approach him, or face Cas, after all that's happened.

He may not even be doing all of this thinking consciously, but the Castiel subtext we've seen in The Winchesters, from a narrative POV, is Dean's.

We're seeing the parallels because he's seeing them, making them, it's his way of processing. Of seeing what he and Cas had, and what they could have. Looking for hope.

And, as he himself said before leaving again... i think he found it.

So i don't know how things are going to go on from here. I can't imagine how we could have Dean in a season two. I've been saying all along that The Winchesters might open the story for a SPN revival/s16, and i think it is perfectly possible that this might happen here.

The Winchesters might not have Dean anymore, becoming its own show (but still having lots of references and guest stars from Supernatural) and *as Jensen loves to say* when we get the revival, there will be the space to address Castiel's confession and give his character the importance that it needs.

It wouldn't have made sense to see Cas here in a little cameo, it wouldn't have been enough. But what we saw here, was the confirmation of Jensen reopening the finale, and his willingness to bring Dean back (as he's always stated), for whatever more he's allowed to do.

I love the way they handled it, we still got peace and hope (even if there were to be no s2), and i feel like we're all more confident that the bridge scene is not an ending, but a beginning of something more. Dean has said he's gonna go look for his family. That's not just Sam.

Of course he's gonna see Cas too. But i don't think any of us would've been satisfied to see him pop up randomly for a couple of minutes in TW, with little to no mention of what happened between them.

Also, i want to point out that this was supposed to be the midseason finale but they had to adapt it when they found out they didn't get a full season, we could've had much more (like more narrating voices as Jensen had teased) or even seeing more of Dean, instead of just seeing him in the pilot and the season finale. They even asked Misha to be there (and he refused for scheduling conflicts since he was busy filming Gotham Knights *but said he's absolutely willing to appear later*).

So i think there's still so much story to tell here and i am absolutely hopeful and trust that we will love it.

I think they did an amazing job in 13 episodes, and I can't wait to see what's next 💖

#the winchesters #the winchesters season finale #the winchesters comments #my commentary #the winchesters theories #the winchesters prequel #the winchesters 1x13 #the winchesters season 1 #renew the winchesters #spn #supernatural #destiel #dean winchester #deancas #castiel #the winchesters cw #getting castiel back #dean winchester is coming back #i am so emotional

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swordofsun · 9 months

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Thinking about the samulet today. Because thematically as a prop item it was just *chef's kiss*

Because it does symbolize the brother relationship. Full stop, through the entire run of it's appearances on the show. And the way it's utilized to show the changes in that relationship is where the writers werenreally just going above and beyond with the symbolism. (Thanks Dabb and Robbie!)

The first four seasons it is an anchor for how no matter the odds or the situation Dean trusts Sam. He believes in Sam. The samulet was given to him by Sam in a very clear way to show that Sam understood it was Dean and not their dad who was really taking care of him (something Sam forgets and remembers as is convenient to him over the years) and needed the protection. And Dean holds it as his most precious possession. He believes in Sam and their relationship.

Until he doesn't. It is important that Sam wore the amulet while Dean was dead between s3 and s4. It's a very clear signifier that Sam kept the faith that Dean could be rescued. It was his driving goal in those months with killing Lilith as a means to that goal.

But he gives it back to Dean and loses sight of why he was going after Lilith. In much of s4 he goes after Lilith to go after Lilith. Whereas Dean spends s4 slowly losing his faith and trust in Sam. He knows when Sam is lying to him, almost every time. He knows that Sam is sneaking behind his back and doing stuff he knows Dean wouldn't approve of and that he can't fully justify. Because you don't hide things you can justify doing.

The end of s4 is the complete rupture of their relationship. Sam breaks the trust in a way that it takes years to recover from and never even seems to notice. We start s5 and Dean does not trust Sam. He does not trust that Sam will make the correct choices.

Which makes it so good that it's at the beginning of Good God, Y'All that he gives the amulet to Cas. He's literally putting his faith in Cas' hands because he can't put it anywhere else (Gamble can have some rights). Sam and Dean go their separate ways at the end of the episode because Dean can't trust Sam. The amulet is gone and so is Sam.

It is vital to remember that Dean doesn't call Sam up at the end of The End because he wants to hunt with him again or has rediscovered his trust. He calls him because Zachariah just showed him a future where Sam said yes and the first step to stopping that future is changing how it happened. By reconnecting with Sam.

(Not actually Zachariah's plan, but it's what happened.)

Which brings us to Dark Side of the Moon. The episode about lost faith. In it they, and most importantly Cas, learn that God couldn't give less of a shit and they are on their own. (Cas' loss of faith in this episode and the repercussions deserve their own essay.) For Dean he learned that everything he sacrificed for Sam, everything he gave up and everything he let go weren't enough. Every little bit of goodness he tried to scrap together for Sam when they were kids wasn't enough.

Sam barely even remembers one of Dean's best memories. A perfect moment where he got to make Sam happy and loved. (And to be clear this is not Sam's fault. He had a very different perspective on their childhoods and it takes Dean years to accept this.) But the journey through heaven and seeing Sam's happiest moments drives home that everything he thought their relationship was built on was, not a lie, but a delusion. They don't have that shared foundation to rebuild on. Sam broke them in s4 and they don't have solid ground to rebuild because that solid ground never existed in the first place. (And is part of the reason Sam was able to completely destroy Dean's trust in him.)

Throwing away the samulet at the end of the episode is very clearly saying "We don't have a relationship I can trust in. We don't have something to rebuild." Dean still loves Sam, he will always love Sam, but that blind devotion to their siblingness is gone. And it never comes back, just like Dean never wears the samulet again.

It was theorized from approximately 3 seconds after the episode ended that Sam dug that thing out of the garbage, but it's a long time before we get confirmation.

The next time we see the samulet is in Fan Fiction. I think it's important, symbolically, that what we see is a fake. A bad fake. We know what the samulet actually looks like unlike the kids putting on the play. We know it's as fake as everything else in the show. And it's important that this comes at a time when Dean and Sam are very much faking a healthy relationship dynamic.

They never actually discuss everything that lead to Dean being a demon and Sam forcefully healing him. All of the s9 stuff is swept under the rug and by the time Fan Fiction comes around Dean and Sam are back to playing the roles of brothers who are also bffs. It's as fake as the samulet in the show.

It's not until Don't Call Me Shurley that we see the samulet again. This time we're shown that Sam did pull it out of the garbage and apparently carries it around with him. We can take this to symbolize both that Sam never gave up on gaining back their previous relationship and that he wasn't actually willing to do the work to fix it. He was just going to carry on and hope something happened.

We don't see the samulet again after this. It's purpose has been served. Sam has been shown that what he was hoping for wasn't what he was going to get by having Chuck be so much less than the God Sam's had faith in for so many years. It's important that this is the point where both Dean and Sam allow the other to make sacrifices without much argument. Sam was going to take on the Mark to retrap Amara, Dean with the soul bomb. It's a new stage in their relationship where they're willing to let the other person be fully their own person.

Dean still needs most of s12 to fully accept that Sam having a bad childhood was not his fault and he didn't fail Sam; he was given more than anyone could have succeeded at. But it's not a coincidence that s12-15 see them rebuilding a brotherly relationship on much more healthy grounds. (Still overly codependent, but nowhere near as bad.)

Dean actively embraces being his own person and exploring what will actually make him happy in a way we hadn't seen until them. Similarly Sam finally gets to the point where he can stop pretending that he doesn't like hunting and doesn't want to do more. He finds the BMoL intriguing for a reason. Most importantly they are able to do this without, for the most part, insisting that the other person do the same things.

And thank you for reading my essay.

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oddlylongtelephonecord · 7 months

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I have a lot of thoughts on vnc but tbh it can all be summed up by saying that if Vanitas doesn't end up being canonically queer, it’s one of the first actual instances of queerbaiting I have seen.

Like, what people don’t often realize is that just because who characters are close, that doesn’t at all mean that they are implied queer. (I realize how dismissive this sounds, I only mean to say that to be queerbaiting, it has to be intentional and with the end goal of drawing in a queer audience)

I could talk about this for hours, but even shows that are the most basic definitions of queerbaiting weren’t actually queerbaiting.

Supernatural is a prime example. Cas was queer-coded (kind of, but I don't have time rn to unpack all of that). In the end, he even ended up being canonically queer. But his and Dean’s relationship was never actually queerbaiting. Because to have been queerbaiting, Dean would have to have some sort of implied reciprocation of feelings. And yeah, even I think he was queer, but nothing in the show actually implied that he was queer.

The same stuff applied to so many shows.

People want to claim the show was queerbaiting because the popular queer couple didn’t go canon, but what people rarely realize is that either they couldn’t make them queer due to censorship or they never intended for them to be queer in the first place. I won’t even lie, y’all don’t seem to understand that if the queer-coding is unintentional, then the character, by definition, cannot be queerbaiting. Because to queerbait, the author has to intentionally queer-code a character to draw in a queer audience, then have then leave the character's sexuality ambiguous.

But now on to vnc. Vanitas is a little bit different than your traditional queerbait character, because while yes, he is in a relationship with a woman, it feels very forced and out of place. Even from the beginning, there doesn’t actually seem to be any connection between the pair, with Jeanne even going as far as saying she hates Vanitas.

But in the end, the one Vanitas always returns to is Noe. The only one he ever actually expresses any concern for is Noe. The only one he has even implied any care for is Noe.

In s2 of the show, or chapter 42 of the manga, Vanitas is shown with Jeanne. But in a flashback showing Luna telling Vanitas to find someone to open his heart to, it doesn’t only cut to Jeanne, it’s cuts to Noe. Because in the end, Vanitas will always return to Noe.

In the most recent chapter, Luna tells Vanitas to “pick something that will be soothing to have with him” and once again, the next scene is one of Vanitas seemingly begrudgingly sitting next to Noe.

Vanitas is always close to Noe. He rarely touches him in any “loving” sense, but wherever Noe is, Vanitas won’t be far behind.

Long story short, Vanitas’ character is the exact definition of queerbaiting. He is heavily implied to love Noe in some way or another, but (at least at present) he is put with a woman.

Now, I honestly believe that this might change. I’m not super confident, but I think it’s possible because the author of the series is very intentional with everything they do.

Nothing is ever done unintentionally, and I don’t think that they would unintentionally imply that Vanitas was queer. At this point, it really just comes down to whether or not the author is trying to queerbait, but we won’t know that until the story is finished.

tldr: Vanitas’ character, at present, qualifies as queerbaiting, but we won’t know for sure until the series is over

#vnc #vanoe #vanitas no carte #the case study of vanitas #vanitas #noe archiviste #dominique de sade #supernatural #spn season 15

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sailorsally · 4 months

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Asking a „sense of life“ kind of question - So, why do we ship cockles? There is so much more „physical“ footage of misha and the other spn cast like kissing and intense hugging, let’s take Rob… why is it not Robisha (well, not in this extent)? Why is it Jensen and Misha, bc of destiel? What is it what cockles makes a difference to other relationships with the cast? Just me having another cockles-crisis, need. new. fluffy. cockles. content! Maybe we can have an analysis here 😅

This is a great question actually and I think it's due to two things:

1) we never got closure over destiel. I mean don't get me wrong, I know we aren't toddlers and very much understand object permanence and know that actors =/= their characters but I as a heller, have a primal need to see Dean & Cas together and happy and at this point Cockles is the only place I'm getting a knock off version of that.

Plus, to return to the topic of object permanence here, Supernatural is unlike any other show in regard that it is so closely intertwined with real world events - from the writer's strike causing Dean to go to hell and have a need for an angel to raise him to Destiel trending over US elections. And don't forget 'French Mistake' !

Frankly the topic of the later seasons - God being evil and trying to control Dean & Cas, Becky telling Chuck his ending sucks etc is impossible not to parallel with CW and the SPN fandom. So all these further blur lines between real world and tv show and make the Destiel - Cockles pipeline easier to race thru.

2) You pointed out correctly there is plenty of footage of Misha being flirty and vice versa with other cast members and yet, Cockles is the heaviest of hitters. Again, partly because they are the in-universe version of Destiel but also a big part of it is because their flirting feels different to when they are flirting with others.

For example I do like Rob & Misha, they are super cute together, I think they would make a cute couple and frankly I think if propositioned by Misha, Rob would go 100% with it (or would have gone before Ruthie). They have done silly grabs and shared plenty of kisses but none of it could turn my stomach the way one yearning look from Jensen towards Misha can.

Jensen & Misha's dynamic, as playful as it is most of the time, always feels incredibly high stakes. You put them next to their costars/friends and you can instantly tell there is something different going on between those two. I am really curious to experience them together in a room live this Purcon because I can just feel that different vibe from them in videos and keep wondering if it is real or even worse in person. For the lack of a better word, it feels like they are drawn to each other and unable to do much about it really. There is a degree of possessiveness they have for each other that is very subtle but also very akin to how lovers are about/with each other.

I think what perhaps makes us scratch our heads every now and then when it comes to these men is the sincerity with which they joke/fake kiss/etc. With others, it might be camp and might be queer but it's just until the punchline, until the audience laughs. But with Jensen and Misha it feels like their little flirty interactions are never for show or to make the audience laugh. If anything they are always extra silly to make each other laugh. It feels like in a way their silly and sweet onstage moments never end. After all, as Jensen said, he is living it.

So in conclusion I think that yes, a part of it is due to us kinda expanding Destiel into this world but also I think that we humans are pretty good at picking up signals and queues in other people's behaviour and a lot of people watching Jensen & Misha together feel like there is something there that they might be unable to name (*points at this rambly answer*) but that doesn't necessary mean they are wrong.

#sorry for this very long ramble #that literally says nothing #cockles #ask sally

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deancasbigbang · 7 months

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Title: Soft and Slow

Author: Maxine

Artist: Reverie

Rating: Teen

Pairings: Dean/Cas

Length: 45000

Warnings: Mental health issues, mentions of alcohol abuse

Tags: Fake relationship, mutual pining, bad dancing, idiots in love, light humour, mild angst, canonverse, season 14

Posting Date: October 18, 2023

Summary: Team Free Will is dealing with the aftermath of Dean’s recent possession by Michael and the massacre at the bunker, when they are faced with yet another case. It’s right at home in Lebanon and seems uncomplicated at face value. However, things unravel when it turns out that investigation is at a dance studio, requiring Dean and Cas to pretend to be a couple and take dancing lessons together. Takes place in season 14: a story of bad dancing, love, cat adoption, and Dean being a complete himbo. Loosely based on the Bollywood movie, ‘Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi’.

Excerpt: The music starts up again, slower and deeper than the tunes they’d had for the open embrace. Dean starts to rock to it with Cas, their bodies entangled in ways that Dean is just starting to notice. There are butterflies in his stomach, and he tries to ignore them as he clutches at the back of Cas’s t-shirt, their faces too close for comfort — so close that Dean can see each shade of blue in Cas’s eyes. There’s silence between them, and even though the room is full of chatter from everywhere else, Dean feels like his and Cas’s world is at a standstill. He turns away from Cas’s gaze, unable to continue looking there any longer, and the silence stretches on, until Cas eventually breaks it to speak. “Your reluctance to let me rest my forehead against your cheek,” Cas says, “is this another one of your issues with trying to look as heterosexual as possible?” “No,” Dean snaps at him, “it’s just weird, okay? We’re friends. Don’t make it weird.” Cas sighs. “I thought our years of friendship would mean that you felt secure enough to do things like this without finding it strange.” Dean blinks at him, then realises what Cas is doing. “You’re fucking with me, aren’t you? You don’t care either way.” Cas smiles just a little, and Dean feels something deep in his chest, like his heart is fluttering. Then the butterflies are back, flying around in his gut with gusto. There’s something about seeing Cas like this — relaxed and a little playful, that is so endearing to Dean, even if it’s at his own expense. “I was just having some fun,” Cas replies at long last. “It is a little hilarious that being here makes you so uncomfortable.” “Why me, though?” Dean asks him. “Sammy wasn’t happy to be here either.” “Yes,” says Cas. “However,” he pauses, seemingly gauging Dean’s reaction to everything that has already been said, “you and I do share a more profound bond.” The snort is out of Dean before he can control himself. A chuckle — relief that Cas is no longer as distant as he has been over the past few weeks, and Dean shakes his head. “You know what, Cas?” he asks. “What?” “Fuck you.”

DCBB 2023 Posting Schedule

#dcbb 2023 #fic preview #2023 promo #deancas #destiel

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angelsdean · 1 year

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thinking abt this ask some more and well, it also all boils down to dean is not john because dean is not john.

dean is his own person with different life experiences and trauma and morals and agency. yes dean learned and internalized some things from john, and learned to filter most of his emotions into anger bc anger was a safer emotion to express under john's roof than fear or sadness.

but dean literally IS NOT john. he's dean. and crucially he is a victim of john, who was Thee angry man in the house. john is the first person he learned pain and shame and anger and self-hatred from. and dean has not been able to properly unpack or cope with those early experiences or any of the other traumatic events that follow. for nearly 40 years. PLUS 40 years of hell trauma. and still !! still !! dean tries to do better. he apologizes and he expresses his regret for past actions and even his worst actions are rooted in love and a need to protect. he most often acts out of fear, worry, and/or grief. as cas said, the good and the bad, everything he has done has been for love. he fears jack and is angry at jack during widowers arc because he loved cas so much and does not yet know jack is good and can be trusted. his reaction is understandable. we as the audience see and receive more information than the characters. dean has every right to be fearful and wary.

but anyways. back to dean and john. widower's arc IS meant to draw that parallel between them. we're supposed to see dean echoing john. we're supposed to feel john's ghost acting through dean. but we are also meant to see where they diverge. dean does not become obsessed with revenge. he does not go on a quest to get cas back (despite how much he wants him back) and abandon everyone else. he even starts to come around to jack, even before cas gets back.

then, there's john and his own complicated trauma. and i do feel some empathy and sadness for him. but his trauma is notably different from dean's, and that's why dean garners more of my empathy, compassion, and forgiveness.

john felt abandoned after his father's disappearance and then internalizes those abandonment issues and those unresolved feelings fester into anger. then john enlists illegally in the military chasing his father's ghost. in the military he experiences more trauma. but he did choose to go into the military. it's different from dean being forced to be a soldier and weapon for his father from a young age. john was 17 ? when he enlisted and did so of his own free will (as much free will as you can have being one of chuck's blorbos but still, you get what i'm saying), while dean never had a choice, and by the time he had the choice to leave he'd already been guilt tripped into staying by john and also had very few connections outside of the winchester family unit. IF dean were to leave john (after sam left) he'd be largely alone because john never let them forge connections and relationships. john purposely kept them isolated from others, which is a tactic of abuse. finally, john loses mary which exacerbates his preexisting issues, anger, and trauma. losing mary was not the catalyst that turned john "bad" it was just an accelerator added to the fire that had been slow-burning for years.

so yes, both john and dean have abandonment issues regarding their fathers, except john's are based on a perceived abandonment that he lets become a deep anger and propel his actions re: joining the military. whereas dean is literally abandoned and neglected repeatedly and often throughout his childhood which leads to a lot of unresolved fear and anxiety regarding losing people and people leaving him. cas dying during widower's arc and losing mary at the same time too (and crowley!) definitely triggers those deep seated fears and anxieties. dean also just as trauma surrounding death bc of mary. dean, like john, also has trauma surrounding being a soldier and having to kill people. however, john chose that path (and then later chose hunting) while dean had that life thrust upon him. (the first time he's handed a gun he is six years old and his father believes he somehow has a "killer instinct"). finally, dean, like john, loses cas who is yes mary-coded during widower's arc and he is left with a child. however, unlike john, this child is also an extremely powerful being whom dean knows nothing about except the fact that he is the biological son of lucifer. he also believes jack manipulated cas and got him killed. people will parallel jack to sam in this instance but john likely had no idea sam was infected with demon blood until much later after years of research and following azazel's trail. so early on, john's neglect and mistreatment of sam and dean cannot be blamed on john being afraid of sam or something like that. john IS afraid of the world though. he's paranoid as all heck and that fuels a lot of his actions. but dean is not wrong in this case for being wary of jack. he has every right to be afraid, it's just that his fear, coupled with grief, ends up being expressed as anger. the same may be true for john in those early years, but eventually, john lets his anger and need for vengeance consume him and he prioritizes the hunt over his children. as he says in 1x22, "killing this demon comes first. before everything." dean wants cas and mary and crowley back, but he doesn't put it before everything. he doesn't turn away from sam or jack to pursue that quest.

dean is not john because dean is dean. he doesn't see the world as black and white as john did. he still has fears and trauma that when triggered have him reverting to old, ingrained habits, but most often, he wants to do good and help people. he cares about his family and wants them to be safe and alive. sometimes he will go to extremes to make sure that happens. but his actions are always rooted in love and care. cas saw him as a being of love. as more than what john tried to make him. more than a blunt instrument. more than a weapon for heaven and hell. more than chuck's favorite toy. dean is dean. and that's why cas loves him. and that's why *i* love him.

#mini essay slash love letter to dean at 1am? sure why not #this was supposed to be shorter than my ask response but well. i have things to say #family dynamics #dean studies

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