#like you KNOW he was thinking about all the time he spent in limbo and how much he (presumably) wants to prove to everyone

[drabbles-mc]

I'm Not Sorry

Bob Floyd x F!Reader

Warnings: 18+, language, dry humping, semi-public hookup

Inspired by This Text Post: i should be riding some nerd's thigh while he gropes all over my body & tells me i'm the girl of his dreams

Word Count: 3.7k

A/N: i've been struggling to finish fics lately but i saw that text post a couple days ago, knew i wanted to write about it for Bob, and then BAM this all fell outta me tonight. unbeta'd to the max but Bob Floyd deserves to fuck so time was of the essence 😌

Top Gun Maverick Taglist: @garbinge @proceduralpassion @justreblogginfics (If you want to be added to any of my taglists, please let me know!)

If you wanted to be dramatic, you could say that you and Bob had been playing a very coy game of cat and mouse for months. It was a bit of an exaggeration, but not by much. A majority of the time that you spent with each other was work-related. It was usually work related, and there was almost always other people around. The closest the two of you got to having time alone was when all of you went out together and everyone else got distracted with pool or darts or each other. So while it might’ve been months according to the calendar, it wasn’t really quite that drastic.

Still, though, you tried to make the most out of the time that the two of you got to have.

It was easy, especially at first, to get a rise out of him, to get his cheeks to flush pink, to get him tripping over his words. A seemingly accidental touch, a well-timed innuendo or wink—that’s all it really took. You didn’t say anything about it but you noticed each time his gaze would break, eyes flickering down from yours to your mouth anytime your teeth dragged along your bottom lip. It never took much with him and for a while you just chalked it up to the fact that he was sweet and shy and a little awkward, that anyone flirting with him like that would get that reaction out of him. It wasn’t until you saw him perfectly unfazed at The Hard Deck one night when a girl at the bar was all but falling into his lap that you realized it wasn’t a Bob thing. It was a you thing. Once you realized that, it was all bets off.

There had been more than one occasion when thanks to your subtly wandering hands Bob nearly spat his drink out across the bar or dropped the bottle from his hand completely. You were able to keep a straight face and play it off, and every now and then Bob was able to recover with some grace, but there had been a time or two when he’d caught a few odd looks from the rest of the crew. It was easy enough to wave them off and they’d let it drop, but the second his focus was back on you, you could tell that he was working overtime to stay on the right side of self-control. All you could do was smile and try to carry on like nothing had happened.

Truthfully, it had gotten to a point where you had almost just resigned yourself to this being what it was going to be like with you and Bob. You were trying to accept that this limbo, this knowing that you wanted him and he wanted you but neither of you really found the time to do much of anything about it, was as good as it was going to get. A never-ending chase, a game with no winners.

“Alright,” you said as you hopped off your barstool, “I gotta head out.”

“Why?” Rooster asked, sounding as though he couldn’t fathom why anyone would want or need to be anywhere else on a Friday night.

You laughed as you dug your wallet out, taking out a few bills to close out your tab and then some. “Some of us have shit to do in the morning, Bradshaw.”

He laughed and gave you a mock disbelieving look. “I don’t think so.”

Raising your eyebrows, you turned your head to face him. “You wanna close out my tab, then? Sounds like you might wanna close out my tab.”

He threw his hands up in surrender. “Forget it—see you Monday.”

You laughed a little harder at that. “That’s what I thought.”

It didn’t seem like your departure disturbed the flow too much, everyone falling back into their previous conversations as you made your way to the bar to square up your tab. You didn’t even bother looking back as you made your way to the door of the bar. By the time your feet hit the blacktop of the parking lot, you were already fishing your keys out of your bag.

Once you were a few strides away from the bar and the clamor of noise coming from inside died down, all you heard was the sound of your own footsteps, and the ocean not too far off. It was peaceful until you heard someone else’s footsteps behind you. The sound alone wouldn’t usually have been strange. Someone else deciding to leave the bar at the same time as you wasn’t a weird occurrence. What made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, however, was the fact that the footsteps were getting quicker and closer. You felt your jaw clenching, positioning your keys between your fingers the way you’d always been taught. You were only a few steps away from your car now but you still found yourself taking a deep breath, getting ready to turn around and see whoever it was that was behind you. You were about to turn and brace for impact when you heard Bob’s voice calling out your name, a little breathless, and very rushed.

Turning around and seeing him, some of the tension disappeared. You huffed, shoulders dropping. “Jesus, Bob.”

There was an apologetic smile on his face as he realized what had just happened. “Sorry.”

Shaking your head, you slipped your keys so that you were holding them in your hand normally again. You managed to laugh at the potential worst case scenario versus the reality of the situation. “Another step without saying my name and I think we both would’ve been sorry.”

He stepped in a little closer to you as he nodded towards your car. “Just wanted to walk you to your car.”

You rolled your eyes but smiled as you turned and started the last few steps across the lot with him. “You know, walking me out to my car is much more chivalrous and much less creepy when you tell me you’re going to do it.”

There was a smirk on his face as he shoved his hands into his pockets. “Guess I’ll have to remember that next time.”

Silence took over the space between you, and while it was comfortable enough, you couldn’t help but to feel like there was more to it, something in the air. Hitting the unlock button on your keys, the lights of your car flashed once. You looked at Bob, then at your car, and then back to Bob. “Well,” you chuckled, “thank you for the company on this long, treacherous journey.” You reached for the handle on the driver’s door. “Hope we can do it aga—”

Bob cut your sentence short when he placed one hand on top of yours on the door handle, keeping you from opening it. Before you could jump to another sentence and ask him what he was doing, his other hand was pressing against the small of your back and pulling you into him so that he could press his lips to yours in a kiss that was intense and nervous all at once.

It lasted just long enough for you to realize what was happening and how good it felt and then he pulled away. Going off the way his eyes were wider than you’d ever seen them, he was just as surprised at himself as you were. Despite the shock all over his face, he didn’t take his hand off your back, although the one that was covering yours on the door dropped back to his side.

“Sor—I’m sorry,” he finally forced out. “I’m…” he trailed off as he looked at you, tongue darting out over his bottom lip.

Another second passed in heavy silence, and when you didn’t try to break free of him, didn’t try to push him away, he let the rest of his sentence die on the tip of his tongue as he kissed you again. You could feel the way that he was more confident this time, the warmth of his palm bleeding through the thin fabric of your tank top as he pressed you against him.

You brought your hands up so that they were resting in the crook of where his neck met his shoulder. One slid up, thumb beneath his jaw as he deepened the kiss. It was all you could do to not ball up the cotton of his t-shirt in your fist, put it in a vice grip so that he couldn’t try to get away. However once you felt the way his tongue pushed into your mouth, and the way he used his body to pin you between him and the side of the car, it became clear that he wasn’t planning on going anywhere.

He had one hand still on your back, one hand braced against the side of your car. It was the first time it ever seemed like he was crowding you, like he was trying to make you seem small. You didn’t mind it. With the way he was kissing you, you were fairly certain you wouldn’t mind anything.

The next time the two of you came up for air, he didn’t pull far enough away for you to really see him. You were just far enough apart for your lips not to be touching, but you could still feel the side of his nose pressed against yours. You could still feel his breath against your skin. The two of you were pressed so tight against each other that you could’ve sworn you could feel the way his heart was about to beat clean out of his chest.

“Shit,” the word fell from his lips in a whisper, followed by an equally soft laugh. His lips brushed against yours as he spoke. “I’m…I’m not sorry.”

You laughed at that, couldn’t help yourself do to anything but. “Good.” Your hand slid from his jaw to the back of his head. “You shouldn’t be.” Kissing him again, you let your teeth pull lightly at his bottom lip as you pulled away. “Only thing you need to be sorry for is taking so long.”

He smiled and shook his head. If the lighting had been better you were sure that you would see a blush all across his cheeks and down his neck. You’d have to settle for the mental image of it. “Didn’t see you chasing me down across any parking lots for a kiss before this either,” he rebutted with a chuckle.

“Touché.”

The humor died down out of his voice as he said, “You know how long I’ve been wanting to do that?”

You nodded, noses brushing against each other. The bridge of his glasses bumped against your forehead for a split second in the process. “I’ve got a pretty good idea, yeah.”

Your bodies were pressed together so tightly that you felt it when he sucked in a quick breath. There were a million things that he wanted to say to you and he couldn’t make himself say any of them in that moment. He had his hand on your back and the taste of your kiss on his lips and yet none of the things he’d been thinking over the passing months were making it out.

The feeling of your fingers toying with the longer strands of his hair centered him enough for him to smile as he said, “At least you know that. I—oh—” He fumbled his way out of the sentence when he felt your lips on his neck.

“Bob?” you said, lips brushing against the column of his throat as you spoke.

“Y-yeah?” he stammered out, and you could feel the vibrations against your lips as he talked.

Taking one hand off of him, you reached and pulled on the handle to the back door of your car. You kissed him again, pushing both of you off the side of the car in the process. “Get in the car.”

He was far enough away that you could see the shocked look on his face. “What?”

You placed your hands on his sides, switching your positions so that he was closer to the car than you. “Car.” You kissed him. “Back seat.” Another kiss. “Now.”

“Now?” He looked around the parking lot. Full of cars but completely devoid of people. “Here?”

You laughed as you pushed him farther back, causing him to duck slightly as he went backwards into the car. “Preferably, yeah.”

“I don’t—whoa,” he fell back across your back seat, managing to brace himself on his forearms.

You shimmied in after him. Pulling the door shut behind you, you climbed on top of him, one leg between his, the other pinned between the outside of his leg and the back seat. It was close quarters, but you weren’t exactly looking to put any distance between the two of you.

Your hands landed on his shoulders, fingers curling over the curve of them as you leaned in and kissed him on the lips. Whatever reservations he’d had about your current location disappeared almost immediately once your lips caught his. His hands were on your hips for a moment. You could feel the way he tightened his grip even through the denim of your shorts. Your lips and his met over and over, each reconnection making him a little bolder.

He managed to get his thoughts together just enough to pry one hand from your hip so that he could reach up and take his glasses off. He all but tossed them up and onto the center console between the driver and passenger seats. You were smiling and about to make a comment about the action but you didn’t get the chance. He brought his hand back to you, starting off on the soft, exposed skin of your thigh. His touch was soft at first, but quickly started to change. His fingers dragged up your leg before slipping past the bottom hem of your shorts.

Your pleased gasp of surprise when you felt the pads of his fingertips over the lace of your panties was quickly smothered as he pulled your lips back to his again. His grip on your ass tightened, pushing you down harder onto his thigh and causing you to moan into his mouth.

For a split second you couldn’t believe it. All this time and Bob hadn’t been able to make a move, couldn’t believe that you wanted to fool around in the back seat of your car—that same man was now grinding you down against his thigh in a way that had you wet and clenching around nothing.

You broke the kiss to catch your breath, muttering out a quiet, needy, “Fuck,” as you continued to move along the top of his leg.

When you pulled back enough to see him, you saw the way that he was watching the movement of your hips. He didn’t take his eyes off of you, felt like he physically couldn’t tear himself away from the sight. His hold on you loosened as you found your own rhythm. A tiny whimper slipped past your lips, the sound involuntary as you savored the friction. The sound made his gaze snap back up to your face, and when he saw the want and desperation etched into your expression he thought that he was going to melt into a puddle right there on your back seat. What a way to go.

He pulled you back down into another kiss, your bodies flush practically from head to toe. Even as you continued to move against his thigh, you could feel the way he was shifting slightly, trying to get in the most comfortable position as he felt himself growing more and more aroused with each passing second. He didn’t let you pull away, though, didn’t let you put any distance between you. With you pinning his leg to the seat, Bob let his hands wander up underneath he fabric of your shirt. Suddenly it was like you felt his hands everywhere—your back, your sides, your chest. He slipped them down past the waistband of your shorts and underwear, fingers kneading the flesh of your ass in a way that with everything else had your legs starting to shake.

Bob could feel it, too. He could feel the increased sense of urgency in your movements, the way you were chasing after something and you almost had it. He was half-expecting to be woken up and find out that this was all just a dream. But not even his dreams had been this good, felt this good.

He dragged his lips off of yours, trailing them along your jaw instead. He left a string of sloppy, desperate kisses in his wake until his lips were beside your ear. One of his hands crept up your back, palm and fingertips scorching your skin in the best way.

“I meant it, you know,” his whisper came out lower than you’d ever heard, a tiny hint of a tremor to it, “when I said I’ve been wanting this—you.” He kissed below your ear, feeling the shaky breath you let out at that, at his words. “But even when I thought about it,” he kissed your jaw, “or dreamed about you,” he kissed your neck, “it wasn’t—shit—it wasn’t anything compared to this.”

Fighting the urge to bury yourself into the crook of his neck at his words, you pulled your head back. You cupped his jaw roughly in one hand and crashed your lips against his. His arms slithered around you and wrapped you tightly against him. He could still feel the slight shake in your legs.

“Bob—”

He stole another quick kiss. “I’d wait all over again for this.”

You could hear it in his voice how genuine he was being. You tried not to let yourself get distracted by his still-wandering hands, or his erection that you could still feel through his jeans. You tried to start your sentence again. “Bob, I—”

“Let me—”

“Come home with me,” you cut him off right back this time, deciding to just get to the point of what you were trying to say.

Confusion flashed across his face for a quick moment. “What?”

“Come back to my place.”

“I thought—”

“I wanna do this.” You sat up enough so that you could drag your fingertips down over his chest and stomach, even doing it over the fabric of his shirt had him starting to squirm with want. “But I’d rather do it somewhere where I don’t have to worry about smacking my head off the ceiling if I sit up all the way.”

The statement got both of you to laugh. “That’s fair.” He paused, a smirk on his face as he said, “Car was your idea, though.”

You rolled your eyes. “I’m feeling a little impatient. Sue me.”

He pulled you into another kiss, one that every time you thought it was over he’d pull you back in all over again. As much as you wanted to get him back to your apartment and laid out on your bed, you also knew that you’d spend as much time as he wanted to doing exactly what you were doing right now. Anything to keep him this close now that you had him there.

When he released you from the kiss, he looked up at you with that same smile, that same slightly dazed look to in his eyes. Like he couldn’t believe this was happening. You couldn’t really believe it either. You couldn’t believe that any of it was happening at all, but you were also having a hard time wrapping your head around the fact that Bob Floyd, the same man who could barely make eye contact with you at the bar the first time you all went out together, was the same man who looked like he was about to try and strategize how to best make use of your back seat so he wouldn’t have to wait to get back to your apartment.

“I live less than ten minutes from here,” you said, already knowing what he was going to say.

His hands moved around to the front of you, fingers just barely curled over into the front of your waistband. You pretended not to notice the way he was toying with the button of your shorts. “Thought you had things to do tomorrow?”

You laughed, leaning in and kissing him. “I still do. Now they’re just,” you ran your hand lightly over the crotch of his jeans, enough pressure to get him to buck into you, “different things.” You giggled quietly at the purposeful breath he sucked in. Reaching over, you grabbed his glasses for him. “C’mon. You can ride shotgun.”

He propped himself up by his forearms again as you untangled yourself from him. “What if—”

You couldn’t help but to laugh as you stopped his sentence short. “Little late to get shy now.”

He smiled, face starting to turn red. “Right.”

The only thing that passed between the two of you were knowing looks and soft laughter as you scrambled out and into the front seats of the car. It wasn’t until you were pulling out of the parking lot and onto the road that you spoke up again, trying not to be too distracted by Bob’s hand creeping higher and higher up on your thigh.

“So,” you looked over at him for a second before returning your attention to the road, “you dreamt about me?”

His head dropped back against the headrest and you couldn’t help but to laugh at his faux exasperation. He gave your thigh a squeeze. You were expecting a joke, one of the witty little comebacks that he had a way of finding in the right moments, but instead he let himself be serious as he said, “Yeah, I did.”

The three words hung in the air between you, and you felt the butterflies that you’d been too busy to feel before in the heat and the rush of everything else. You could feel the way that Bob was looking at you while you looked at the road.

“How much longer?” he asked.

You laughed, sparing him a glance. “Six minutes, tops.”

He nodded, fingertips grazing up and down your thigh, goosebumps breaking out over your skin despite how warm your car was with its still-fogged-up windows. “Six minutes.”

#top gun #top gun maverick #top gun: maverick #top gun fanfiction #top gun maverick fanfiction #bob floyd #robert floyd #bob floyd x reader #bob floyd x you #robert floyd x reader #robert floyd x you #x reader #x reader fic #my writing #fanfiction #drabblesmc #bob floyd fanfiction

[galedekarios]

Hey there! You're one of the best Gale-ish devnotes\datamines sources that I know of, so I might as well ask. I remember that at some point Gale mentions taking part in Blackstaff Academy balls (or something like that). Is it mentioned elswhere, and do we have any details on his involvement in such activities? Need that for science\personal lore, and I'd appreciate any info (including EA), if you have time. Thanks!

thank you for your message and i'm sorry for the belated response!

i took my time to comb through everything and sadly, the banter with wyll is the only instance i could find of gale mentioning a ball at blackstaff academy:

gale & the annual blackstaff's ball

gale: i knew you were a graceful man, wyll, but i hear you're quite the dancer too. gale: i've been known to trip the light fantastic myself. mine was a popular hand at the annual blackstaff's ball. wyll: i'd have love to have witnessed it, gale. i wager you are as elegant on the dance floor as you are on the battlefield.

the only other banters i could find that are only loosely related. some give us glimpses into his life at the academy, others into his life in waterdeep.

here's another story about gale & being a young student at blackstaff academy, which triggers in the wizard tower in the underdark:

gale & the death slaad

gale: ah. quite. a misadventure from my days as an apprentice at blackstaff academy. gale: i was but a child, only a few months into my studies, but already i knew i was destined for greatness. no one believed me, of course, so i decided to prove it. to cast a spell with the blackstaff itself. gale: from one perspective, i succeeded. i opened a portal. however, instead of pointing it at the first year dormitory, i found myself pulled into limbo, facing a very irritated death slaad. gale: fortunately, the blackstaff himself came to the rescue, hauling me back from the brink, and straight into several months of writing lines. or rather, finessing my autograph. gale: now, much as i enjoy reminiscing about such tomfoolery, i believe we've more pressing matters at hand. is there anything else?

this dialogue path from the epilogue has him speaking a bit more about those days as well:

gale & his days as a wayward apprentice

gale: teaching at blackstaff academy has proven such an unexpected pleasure. sometimes i find it hard to tear myself away. gale: just one of the myriad unexpected ways life has delighted me in recent months. gale: even my own city feels new to me, now that i share it with you. player: probably because i make you put down your quill once in a while and enjoy it. gale: that you do. i've not had so much fun in waterdeep since my own days as a wayward blackstaff apprentice. gale: you've certainly made quite the impression on my friends down at the yawning portal. the last i heard, they were thinking of naming a drink after you.

while he seems to have enjoyed a much richer social life in waterdeep before his time of isolation, it's mentioned in another epilogue banter (devnotes) that he didn't seek out any of the more dangerous parts of the city.

there are also other banters about gale's life in waterdeep before the game:

gale & the temple of beauty in waterdeep

gale: i must tell you, shadowheart, the bathing waters here leave much to be desired. gale: the ablutions offered at the temple of beauty in waterdeep are far superior. and they have the most excellent soaps. shadowheart: hmm. i was wondering why you always smelled like a wealthy dowager.

gale & spending time in the hospice of st. laupsenn

wyll: this was a hospital? feels more like a prison. gale: a common enough interpretation. sickness has a nasty habit of making you feel trapped, if only within the confines of your body. gale: i once spent weeks convalescing in the hospice of st. laupsenn after a nasty bout of ruddy pox. for all their kindness, leaving that place behind felt like freedom to me. wyll: i’ve always relied on the kindness of the healers and menders of the coast. better a cleric’s healing touch than a chirurgeon’s scalpel.

gale & florist

lae'zel: these flowers are quite vivid - not to mention, pungent. not to my liking. gale: are there no flowers in tu'narath? lae'zel: in the city of death, the mlar cultivate the fruiting bodies that sprout from the corpses of the slain. gale: i'd rather get them from my florist in waterdeep, if it's all the same to you.

i'm also including this banter between wyll and gale here because it speaks (even if somewhat joking) about his upbringing as a whole by morena:

wyll: i admire your courage, gale. gale: thank you. any particular reason? wyll: between the orb and the bug, you've got more than your fair share of unwelcome passengers. gale: what can i say? mother always taught me to be a gracious host.

we also know that he has had multiple tutors:

lae'zel: you strike me cleverer than most istiki, gale. multiple tutors, i should guess. gale: many a wise man and woman indeed. waterdeep is the home of myriad scholars. wyll: ah, the city of splendours. spent a whole fleetswake there with my father. what a delight.

hiring tutors appears to be relatively common in waterdeep:

so while this sadly wasn't what you were looking for, i hope this is helpful to some degree! 🖤

#gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #ch: gale dekarios #vg: baldur's gate 3 #series: baldur's gate #meta: mybg3 #text: asks

[noosayog]

[Not just Nostalgia] ft. Miya Atsumu

wc: 2.3K

contents/warnings: exes to lovers

noos's notes: I love exes to lovers but I feel like I really didn't do it justice here :( i'm not the biggest fan of this but I spent so long writing this, I wanted to share. I hope at least y'all enjoy it :)

Often, when you return to your hometown in Hyogo, you can’t help but be swept up in nostalgia. It happens when you walk by the convenience store and remember eating popsicles with your classmates. It happens when you pass by the rolling green hills and remember riding your bike along the cherry blossom lined path. It happens when you pass by your high school and remember all the memories you made there. Somehow though, there aren’t any memories that outshadow the moments you shared with your then-boyfriend. You remember helping him bleach his brassy blond hair, sitting in the stands long after school to wait for his practice to end, and tutoring him despite your being one year younger than him. 

But nostalgia is just that and you know better than to let yourself be swept away by sentimentality. You know better than to let yourself forget the reason why you had to leave. Being back here for the summer is a risk, but surely you can’t spend the rest of your life avoiding your home, whether that be a home of rose-tinted memories or bitter heartbreak. 

– 

Your hometown is a small one and running into Atsumu is hardly an improbable outcome. It happens a bit sooner than you’re expecting, but it’s been over a year now and you have to muster up some courage. The only thing more pathetic than still moping about the break up is being the ex-girlfriend who can’t move on from the man who broke up with her. 

When you see each other, Atsumu doesn’t hesitate. There’s no prolonged staring match and no awkward silence. In fact, Atsumu seems to have completely forgotten what happened the last time you saw each other because he greets you with an unreserved hug and an excited “It’s so good to see you again!” 

You can’t deny the fact that it hurts that this is so easy for him, but you’d rather it be like this than the estranged limbo of being exes. Being with him, even in this capacity brings you back to high school and you’re swept along in his pace all over again. 

You never stopped, really. 

He asks about your family and reminisces about how much your mom used to love him. In the same breath, he invites himself over because he wants to see how she’s doing. In spite of his easy demeanor, you notice the slight flicker in his gaze, endearingly worried that he might be overstepping his bounds. Your longing for him returns in full force when he looks at you with those straightforward eyes, mixed with sweet caution. Like he still cares that he might be making you uncomfortable. 

So what’s a girl to do but let the object of her affection bulldoze through her plans to remember why she keeps the door to her heart tightly shut? 

–

“Hi, ma’am,” he grins at your mother when he walks through the doors. 

Your mom looks up from where she’s chopping garlic and welcomes Atsumu with a curt hello. Considering she’s ignored every friend who has ever visited, she’s making it pretty clear who her favorite ex of yours is. Turning back to her garlic, she commands you, “go take your boyfriend to the living room.” 

She still doesn’t like him enough to remember his name and you find comfort in that at least. 

“He’s not my boyfriend anymore, mom.” You remind her often when she asks about your blond, tall boyfriend. 

“Oh. He’s not?” she shrugs. “Well, go get him some tea.” 

“Yes, mom.”

Atsumu smirks when you meet him in the living room with tea. “She thinks we’re still dating?” 

You roll your eyes. “Don’t let it get to your head. She just doesn’t care enough to remember our history.” 

He wiggles his brows, “our history?” 

Insufferable. 

He keeps this up all night. Your mother, impossible to charm, continues to throw blunt remarks at him over dinner, but he lets them glide over his head. He even makes your mom laugh. 

It’s because he’s like this that you can’t let him go completely. He makes it too easy to imagine what could have been. 

–

For Atsumu, seeing you again was an out of body experience. He barely remembers the moment he said goodbye to you at his graduation ceremony with the flimsy excuse of wanting to focus on going pro. But he does vividly remember the day he came home a year later, only to find that you had left town the day you graduated. And despite his love for the sport, not even he could spend every waking hour playing. The hours that weren’t preoccupied by practice were spent thinking of you. Turns out, he proved himself wrong. Apparently, he really could balance going pro and being with you, because even though he didn’t have you anymore, you still owned the other half. 

Shameless as he is, he could not bring himself to pester your friends or your mom to find out where you had gone. It was the least he could do for you. For you. At least that’s what he tells himself.

Then he runs into you at the supermarket. He sees you first, lugging a basket around and looking perfectly fine while he’s in complete shambles. He follows you around for a good 5 minutes, never mind how creepy that is, practicing conversations in his head. It pays off when he weasels his way into your house, then all the more when he feels a flare of pride in knowing that he’s the one your mother remembers.

The remaining semblance of his composure comes crashing down when Kageyama, whom Atsumu has always found pleasure in competing against, shows up without warning. 

It’s a pleasant surprise, really, when he happens to see Kageyama in front of a vending machine with his signature scowl. Atsumu calls out in his jolly, pleasant facade, but Kageyama skips over Atsumu in favor of greeting you.

You smile. “What are you doing here, Tobio? You should’ve told me!” 

“You know each other?” 

You both turn your attention to Atsumu. 

“Yeah,” Kageyama nods. 

“We live in the same building in Tokyo,” you supply. 

“Oh.” 

Atsumu has read enough shoujo manga to imagine the worst. 

It’s no longer imagination when he hears you tell Tobio to swing by to see your mom. He watches Kageyama nod and then make this exit without fuss. The whole interaction leaves Atsumu confused and uneasy. 

–

You think the universe must be playing jokes on you when you come home and find Atsumu at your front door. You’re not sure if this is some sort of torture or Atsumu really just wants to be friends again. You sigh and let him in, walking past your mom in the kitchen again. 

“Oh?” your mom begins. “Here again?” 

He grins, all charm. “Couldn’t stay away for long, ma’am. Your cooking is too good.” 

She harrumphs. “I know you’re here for my child.” 

Atsumu laughs, but she’s already back to cleaning the vegetables in the sink. 

Atsumu’s halfway to the living room and you’re preparing the tea when she abruptly stops chopping and whips her head up towards you. “What about the other boy?” 

Atsumu freezes.

“What other boy, mom?” 

“The black hair one. Doesn’t talk, only nods.”

You ignore her and she just goes back to chopping vegetables. It was just a passing thought for her, but you can only hope Atsumu didn’t hear. 

–

“Doesn’t talk, only nods.” Atsumu hears your mom say. 

He freezes in the hallway, hoping to hear any elaboration you or your mother has. You say nothing though, and meet his eyes as you round the corner. He hopes you’ll explain but you don’t say anything and brush past him to the living room. He feels a hot flash of anger; doesn’t he at least deserve an explanation? 

But it cools quickly when he reminds himself that he does not. He does not deserve an explanation or anything from you for that matter. He’s just an ex-boyfriend. 

Atsumu used to tell himself that if you ever found someone else, they wouldn’t compare to him. What could that anyone have that he doesn’t? He’s tall, an olympian athlete, close with your mother, the list goes on.

He never thought it would be this easy for you to find someone who meets all of those requirements just as easily. Except, Kageyama had a leg up in that he didn’t break up with you because he wants to focus on his career.

Irrational, boiling hot, searingly stinging jealousy floods his gut. God, Atsumu has never been more aware of his decision to break up with you, that he somehow conjured up the thought that he couldn’t handle going pro after high school and maintaining his relationship with you. He has had moments like this, regretting his decisions and missing you to like crazy. Seeing you back here in Hyogo, he had tricked himself into thinking everything would be the same after all the time that has passed. Yet, in your time apart, maybe you have moved on and someone else has presented themself as the better option.

That was time he had practically gifted to someone else. 

He wishes so badly he could yell out that he isn’t satisfied with the way things are. 

I don’t want to be just an ex. I’m not just an ex. I can’t just be an ex.

It’s sometime after dinner, your mom urging you to at least walk “boyfriend one” to the door, when Atsumu finally asks.

“Am I just an ex to you?” 

You open your mouth to answer but Atsumu barrels on. Not because he has more to say, but because he can’t stand to hear your answer.

“Actually, no. Don't answer that. I can't just be an ex to you. I can't just be your ex.” 

You’re silent. 

“What-” do I have to do to make you choose me again. 

“How-” can I make you fall in love with me again? You were in love with me once. Why can’t you do it again? 

“Why-” him? 

Miserable, he blinks up at the sky, eyes heavy. 

“You were in love with me once, why can't you do it again?” he whispers.

Either you don’t hear any of his questions, or you choose to ignore them, but you do say, “Tobio and I went on one date in Tokyo.” 

Atsumu keeps his eyes averted. It’s the explanation he asked for but not the one he wanted. 

“And that was it. We’re just friends now. He ended up needing to visit Hyogo once and he came over for dinner as a friend. That’s when he met my mom.” 

“Then why does she remember him?” still trying to keep up some semblance of nonchalance, when he feels anything but. 

“She just likes tall men. You know that, Atsumu.” 

He doesn’t like the implication that he’s only a favorite because he’s tall. In that case, any one of his teammates except for Shoyo has him beat there. 

“What about you,” he whispers, fists clenched. 

“What?” 

Atsumu takes a deep breath. He needs to make a decision here. Is he going to lay it all out for you here or is it finally time to let you go for good? Would you even give him a chance after all this time? 

The decision is easy, selfish even, to make. 

“What about you,” he says, voice shaking, eyes watering, but he doesn’t hide it from you anymore. 

“Atsumu… what about me?” you ask, not understanding. 

“What about how you feel about me? Right now?”

Atsumu watches your expression shutter, exactly like how it did when he broke up with you. 

“Because,” he rushes out. “Because I’ve never stopped loving you. I made such a big mistake when I made the selfish, one-sided decision to leave you with that stupid excuse. If anything, with the amount of time I spent missing you, that proves that I can do both. 

“And I know it’s incredibly selfish of me to do this now. To want you to come back after all I did and how long I waited to tell you all this, but if there’s even a chance…” 

He’s practically giving a soliloquy now, so he doesn’t notice that you’ve stepped into his space until you’re grasping him by the forearms. 

He cuts himself off with a deep inhale when he feels your warm touch. You bore into his eyes, staying silent. He calls your name in reverent whisper. 

“Atsumu, do you know how much you hurt me?” 

He nods. 

“Do you really regret it that much?” 

He nods. 

“Then why didn’t you come to see me?” 

“I-” he has a number of excuses. He could say that he didn’t know where you went. That he wanted to give you your space. But he was just scared this whole time. Scared of what he’d find when he found you and it was only luck that he ran into you at the grocery store. He tells you the truth. 

You ponder this for a bit, eyes wide but unreadable. 

“Do you know why you’re my mom’s favorite?” you ask after a while.

“Because I’m tall?” 

You laugh, your hands that were still holding onto his arms sliding down to slip into his palms. Atsumu’s mind isn’t keeping up here, because surely this doesn’t mean that you- 

“Tobio’s tall too,” you respond. The suspense is killing him. 

“You’re her favorite because she’s my mom and she knows me. Atsumu, if I didn’t still love you, you would’ve never stepped foot in my house again.” 

His wheels are still spinning when he feels your thumbs brushing the tears in his eyes away. You smile, and it’s the same smile he remembers. You know you’re both thinking the same thing when your eyes finally meet. It’s definitely not just nostalgia, the way fireworks explode when your lips meet after all this time.

#noos writes #haikyuu angst #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #hq x reader #hq x y/n #hq fluff #hq imagines #hq angst #miya atsumu #miya atsumu fluff #miya atsumu angst #miya atsumu x you #miya atsumu x reader

[writeyouin]

Hello, for holiday fics, can i request MTMTE Bots X Reader Headcanons where its Christmas time and there's a gift exchange? Thank you!

MTMTE Bots X Reader - Gift Exchange

A/N - A-All of them?! There's… That's a lot of bots. Imma just pick a few, then if anyone wants more you can just ask me for them.

Warnings - None

Rating - T

Swerve

Swerve is far too nervous for this.

It's your first Christmas aboard the ship, and he is determined to confess his love for you. Like, he has spent every last second planning this for months.

Now that it's time though, he thinks he might purge his tanks.

What if you don't like his gift? Worse, what if you reject him? He knows you won't be mean about it, but... he doesn't want to spend his life without you. He really loves you, and nothing terrifies him more than his own feelings.

Still, here is the moment. You've given him your gift.

It was a crocheted blanket, so he'll be comfy on movie nights. When did you have time to make this? Oh wow. He presses the material to his face. It's so soft, and if he takes in some air, it smells like you. Of course it does... You've clearly spent ages making it.

Swerve hugs you and he holds on for a few seconds too long. You laugh amiably, and make a joke about being Christmas crushed.

Finally, he lets you go and bashfully presents you with his gift. It isn't wrapped very well. It must have been difficult for him, since it's relatively small. You can see where the tape has come up a few times, stripping the paper of some of its colour. All this just makes you smile more.

You tear open the gift, and it's a datapad, specially made to be human-sized. You flick on the screen and find that it's filled with music, in a specially arranged playlist.

Admittedly, Swerve doesn't know a whole lot about Earth music. He's more into TV and movies, but he knows how much you love music, so he really tried with this.

Moreover, the first word of each song creates a message, and it is a long message. It's a confession. You might have missed it, had the first word of each song not been highlighted.

You take a while to read what's written. Meanwhile, Swerve is stuck in limbo, feeling entirely sick. Part of him wants to snatch the datapad back and laugh it off like it was all a mistake or a stupid joke. Instead, he waits, trying to stop his servos from shaking by resting them on his thighs.

When you've finished reading his confession, you let your thumb glide over the first song, hitting play.

You smile, get to your feet, and approach Swerve.

"I love it," You say quietly.

Then, you kiss him.

At first, Swerve is completely taken aback. Then, his hands find their way around your back and he's holding you close, your first kiss to Nat King Cole's 'The Very Thought of You.'

Rung

Rung didn't actually want gifts. The only thing he asked for was an evening alone with you.

Normally, he's so busy with his patients, and everyone always wants time with the ship's only human, usually so they can ask you questions and place bets on what the answer will be - Rodimus is still pissed that he lost 100 shanix when you were asked what a colander was (Sufficed to say, his answer wasn't kitchen utensil for draining water).

So, that's exactly how you spend Christmas Eve with Rung. You're sat in his lap, laid back on the sofa while he reads to you from a book you chose.

His fingers gently glide over your head - You feel safe with Rung - loved - and you know that he feels the same when he's with you.

Despite that, you did get him a gift, and little do you know, he's got you one too. They will both wait for tomorrow however, as you relax into one another, with no obligation to anyone else.

The next day, you wake up atop the berth, and realise that you must have fallen asleep when Rung was reading and that he has carried you to bed.

Yet, he isn't there with you. You're just getting up when you hear him humming. Your shared hab-suite isn't like the others on the ship - it's the only one wherein the rooms are separate as if to recreate a normal Earth apartment.

So, upon getting up to explore, you find Rung in the kitchen - He's never been in here before, except when he's looking for you.

This is his gift and his surprise. He knows how much time you always put into cooking, and unfortunately, there's nobody else who could ever cook for you, which he has been led to believe is a normal part of human relationships and something most humans are grateful for.

It took a while to research the recipes, and even more time to find out what ingredients could be substituted. Moreover, Rung has spent months practising this, between meetings, and now, he's rather good at it - he always was good at following instructions and handling delicate objects.

So, your Christmas brunch is courtesy of Rung, and you make sure to tell him how delicious everything is, kissing him afterwards so he might get a taste of the wonderful meal he's made as his arms wrap around you and he presses you against the dining table.

Later, after a long, and frankly heated make-out session, you present him with his gift. It's a model ship of the only one missing from his collection - the Lost Light itself. His eyes light up when he sees it, all ready to be put together.

That afternoon, the two of you sit together and start building the miniature, all while listening to Christmas music which plays serenely in the background.

Megatron

Megatron is staring at you quite intensely. If you weren't used to him, you might think he was glaring at you.

Still, you feel like you might have done something wrong or that he hates your gift to him. It was after all, rather personal, and Megatron isn't a huge fan of PDA.

The gift in question was a song. As it turned out, Nautica was something of a musical prodigy, so with her help, you had written a song about Megatron - She had composed the tune, while you wrote the lyrics.

You assumed that by involving another bot, Megatron felt exposed; it was entirely possible that he didn't like the idea of someone else singing about him or your relationship with him.

You couldn't be further from the truth.

The truth of the matter was that Megatron loved the song. You had poured your very soul into it, and it was so much more than he could have asked for.

... And in return, he had gotten you a gift basket. Soaps, shampoos, lotions - His research had led him to believe this was the social norm on Earth. He couldn't give you that now!

How would that look? You had given him a piece of your soul, and he got you L'oriel "because you're worth it."

No. It wasn't good enough.

"Excuse me a moment, I need to retrieve something from my hab-suite," Megatron said coolly, before leaving you.

You deflated, feeling that all was lost, especially since Megatron took a good thirty minutes to return.

Yet, when he came back, he held out a datapad for you, mumbling an apology that it wasn't wrapped.

You swallowed nervously when he wouldn't meet your eye, and then you took the present reverently.

You flicked on the screen and found it open in a folder - "(Y/N)'s Poetry."

There were well over a hundred entries, all of them dedicated to you.

'The Radiance of a Smile', 'Promises of Forever', and 'Forgiveness of the Past', were just a few at the top of the list. Even more surprising was the fact that a great many of them were written before the two of you began dating. When you looked at the earlier entries, you saw how Megatron's feelings towards you had come about and evolved into something more.

You were speechless, yet on your face, Megatron was pleased to see that you knew how he felt for you, and that your love for him was just as much of a weight, though it was one you were glad to bear.

#fanfiction #fanfic #reader insert #reader #maccadam #transformers #mtmte #more than meets the eye #ll #lost light #the lost light #transformers idw #swerve #swerve x reader #rung #rung x reader #megatron #megatron x reader #gift exchange

[arabaka]

₊˚ʚ ☁️ ₊˚ ♡ ﾟ. content warnings ⤸ sfw. fluff + angst for the birthday boy! spoilers for chapter 236. 736 words. while i don't mind ageless/minors interacting with my sfw posts, do NOT follow if you do not have your age in bio.

₊˚ʚ ☁️ ₊˚ ♡ ﾟ. author's note ⤸ maxine voice from russian doll: sweet birthday baby!!! i had this sitting around in my drafts and honestly been going through it so... we love-self care. also peep the httyd quote B)

He’s already seen everyone else (Suguru, Nanami, Haibara, and Yaga) but there’s still some unfinished business for the strongest, the ill-fated, Gojo Satoru.

After all, it’s a long known fact that Gojo Satoru really died when you did.

“Well,” Gojo stands, dusting off his uniform pants, “Gotta go.”

“Leaving so soon?” Geto asks with a knowing smirk.

“Yeah. Got a date, ya’ know.”

Of course, you’d reunite at an airport terminal of all places. The staple location for every cheesy rom-com movie, where the twist is that both lovers are dead.

What can you say; spending even just a few years in limbo will round out the humor in you.

But it’s also perfect, in its own way. How many rom-coms did you watch with him that had this exact scene in them? How many times had you recreated those corny, predictable scenes anytime you had to travel with sincerity because between the two of you… One couldn’t really live without the other.

Maybe there really is something to this airport effect.

You’re both running so fast, desperate to leave all the time you spent apart in the past.

Gojo sweeps you off your feet, somehow staying grounded on his despite the boom of excitement between the two of you. Your giggles make him giggle and it’s like you were never apart.

When you kiss, he remembers what it felt like when he really had someone to keep living for. 

The memories don’t stop there: a dam of his own making cracks under the pressure before splitting apart entirely. It still hurt to reminisce on those times you shared, even after all those years it never got any better. But with you back in his arms, the experiences have been returned to their original glory. Their original joy.

He can see them all so clearly. 

The look of annoyed disgust you gave him when you met as first-years at Jujutsu High: he never did let you live down your initial distaste for him and you never let him forget why you gave him that look in the first place. But it sure as hell didn’t stop you two from sneaking off to make out when you should have been practicing.

The gleam in your eyes when he told you I love you for the first time: you had cried right after and had him thinking he did something wrong but you more than made up for it when you tackled him to the ground, sobbing “I love yous” right back. 

The warmth of your arms when he’d wake up screaming the nights following the first time he’d lost Suguru: he never could thank you enough for giving him such a perservering comfort.

He’s seeing it all: graduation, birthdays, holidays…

A flash of you and him in the bed you shared, in the apartment you two called home, and the night he proposed… How you said yes before he could even finish the sentence.

And that's where it ends because you'd be gone before the two of you could even announce your engagement.

Gojo never loved after you, didn’t even try to find someone else because no one could ever come close to you.

Now here you are, in his arms again… Where you belong. He kisses you over and over again with the fervor of a man starved, Gojo desperate to reacquaint himself with the way you taste and feel.

“I was beginning to think you forgot about me.” You tease, arms looped tenaciously around his neck; you aren’t letting go this time.

“Pft- You? Never, baby.” His lips skirt yours, “You don’t know how much I’ve missed this.”

Gojo makes you laugh. He always could.“I think I have an idea.” You chuckle, your eyes crinkling as you smile.

“Let me look at you.” You both say at the same time, falling in love with each other all over again. 

With an air of remorse and his pretty blues saturated with sadness, Gojo whispers, “You’re as beautiful as the day I lost you.” His heart still aches like it's become a muscle memory. “I should’ve–”

“Hey.” Your hands firmly grasp his face, “Stop that.” You give him a good shake with that determined look in your eyes he's longed for all these years. “We're together again. I don't know for how long or what comes next but… For better or worse, right?” 

“For better or worse.” Gojo agrees and for the first time in a long time he smiles without guilt, thinking to himself:

“I’m hoping this isn’t a dream.”

#gojo #gojo satoru #gojo x you #gojo x reader #gojo x y/n #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jjk x y/n #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x y/n #jjk #x reader #jjk angst #jjk fluff #gojo satoru fluff #gojo fluff #.˚₊ ੈ ʚ 🍰 ɞ ₊˚. ꒰ a little treat for gojo. ꒱ #.˚₊ ੈ ʚ 📝 ɞ ₊˚. ꒰ jackie writes! ꒱

[turbulentscrawl]

BUNS HEAR ME OUT.

Top 5 most protective survivors with the ‘who did this to you’ trope.

Let’s just say their S/O gets injured maybe in a match and it’s evident by the damage of the body that it’s definitely not accidental as they claim. So we get a “who did this?”

Maybe this could be a HC for you to do one day lol

Oh this one is quick and easy! I did go back and forth on the exact order here, but these are my top 5s. There is some overlap with the one I just did, but for the sake of changing it up a bit we’ll say that in this case your injuries are obviously also not from a Hunter.

Ganji is at the top because I think he’d be the most emotionally reactive to this specific situation. He’s not as severe as Naib in his revenge, but survivors hurting survivors is a big deal. Like, you’re all stuck here, in limbo, suffering, and some bitch thinks they’re going to start turning it into a free-for-all, too? Fuck no. He feels bad about it later, but he is a little aggressive while trying to get you to admit who did it. He’ll soften a bit if it was a genuine accident, but he still thinks everyone’s been here too long for simple carelessness to be an excuse. If it wasn’t an accident? There are unspoken rules here, and if the manor isn’t going to enforce them, Ganji sure as fuck will.

Naib still has to have a place here, but he’s a smidge lower because his anger is more controlled and calculating. His protective urges in general are pretty off-the-charts and, while he can’t do much about a Hunter hurting you in a game since that’s kinda the point, he can do something about a fellow survivor. He won’t press you too hard while you’re recovering, but frankly it doesn’t matter if you won’t tell him how it happened or who did it. He’s spent years of his life digging up information about targets and this is no different. If anything, it’s easier because he knows the culprit was someone else in the match with you.

Patricia comes after Naib and Ganji because her emotions lean towards desperation more than anger or bitterness. She’s been itching for someone deserving to lay her blood curse on, and this is the perfect opportunity. Someone who was supposed to be an ally has hurt her love? That’s rotten. That’s sinful. She won’t leave you be until you spill who did it. She’s gentle, of course, but every waking moment she spends with you during recovery is spent asking or subtly coaxing you to admit what happened. She’ll give up on asking after several days, but will forever be watching to see if your interactions with the others change. If she suspects anyone in particular, they’re gonna have a little chat.

Andrew can’t see what reason a fellow survivor would have to hurt you, but then he really can’t see reason at all when he’s so angry. He’s not nearly as likely as the others to go out of his way for revenge after-the fact, and he’s not intuitive enough to find out who did it if you won’t tell him…but FUCK he’s mad. Andrew just spends the next few days stewing in anger, tense, sucking his teeth, and cursing randomly in quiet moments. If you or someone else from your match tells him who did it, he makes it clear that he isn’t doing shit for them going forward. Oh, what’s that, they got chaired? Downed? Well, guess they’re fucked. He’d rather take the match loss than save their sorry ass.

Orpheus’s exact reaction is going to depend a bit on when you catch him with all of this. Getting hurt in the matches is normal and frankly he’s a bit numbed to it in most circumstances. But this isn’t a normal match wound, is it, dear? Some of his personalities are more reactive than others, and all of them are quite good at digging. He was a detective, after all. In short, he would appreciate it if you told him who hurt you…but even if you won’t snitch, rest assured he will find out. Whatever happens after that depends on which personality is in charge at the time.

#idv x reader #identity v x reader #orpheus x reader #andrew kreiss x reader #patricia dorval x reader #naib subedar x reader #ganji gupta x reader #turbulentscrawl #multiple idv characters

[queenshelby]

Our Little Secret (Part 13)

Pairing: Dark! Cillian Murphy x Virgin! Reader

Warning: Infidelity, Brief Mention of Stillbirth

Notes: This will not be a love story. It will be dark, twisted and kinky. Cillian is portrayed as totally off cannon.

Two weeks had passed and you had almost moved on with your life which did not involve your family. 

Your mother had kicked you out of her own house following your tryst with Cillian. But as luck would have it, your cousin Lukas had offered you a place to stay after Emma's parents too would not allow you to remain at their family home for more than a week.

You had to find a job quickly to sustain yourself and fortunately, you managed to secure employment at a local bookstore. The hours were flexible, and they paid decently, making your living situation somewhat manageable under these circumstances.

School, however, had to give way to your new lifestyle and you chose to transfer to college in the evening in an attempt to finish your education.

As far as Cillian was concerned, you had not heard from him since that afternoon, leaving you in a state of limbo regarding your relationship status with him.

From the local papers, you since learned that he had finally left Danielle and was now publicly fighting for custody of his son Max who the columns claimed was not his actual son at all.

Yet none of this mattered as you sat there staring blankly into space, haunted by memories and regret. Overwhelmed by guilt and confusion, you tried to block out the past few months - how you became entangled in such a mess with no future, only moments spent locked away from the world. But, it wasn’t easy. It felt as though the entire universe conspired to punish you for daring to experience passion beyond societal norms, yet you continued searching deep inside yourself for answers that wouldn't come easily.

You were pregnant with Cillian's child and an abortion was not currently something you could afford emotionally nor financially, forcing you to confront your reality alone. For the first time in years, the choices you made seemed to echo hollowly in your ears as you attempted to navigate this complex web of deceit, betrayal, and self-discovery.

"Em, I do not know what to do," you admitted honestly, breaking down in tears as she visited you, just like she did every day after you finished work. 

Emma pulled you close, offering comfort as she held you tight.

"We're going to figure this out together," she assured you reassuringly, wiping away your tears. "But I honestly think that you need to tell Cillian," Emma added cautiously. "He has a right to know."

Her advice struck a chord in you, causing you to sit upright and nod thoughtfully.

"I asked him if he could meet, about a week ago, and he never got back to me, Em!" you said, feeling worthless and unwanted.

"He is going through a lot himself and he doesn't know about you carrying his child. Maybe you should try and give him a call again?" Emma interjected, attempting to mediate.

Despite Emma's suggestion, you remained hesitant, unsure whether reaching out to Cillian was the right decision. Nevertheless, you decided to pick up your phone and call him regardless of the consequences.

After a series of rings, someone else picked up on the other end – a stranger.

“Hello, can I speak to Cillian please?” you asked politely, trying hard to maintain composure amidst growing anxiety.

"Who am I speaking to?" replied the unfamiliar voice, curiosity evident in her tone.

”This is Y/N and I really need to speak with him,” you introduced yourself, taking a deep breath in preparation for what might follow. “Is Cillian available, please?” you begged and, just after you did, there was silence on the line for several seconds before the woman spoke up again.

"So, you are the homewrecker?" she snarled bitterly, anger radiating from her voice.

You flinched upon hearing those harsh words directed at you. You didn't expect the person answering Cillian's phone to actually know who you were, but then again, you did not know about the woman on the other line either.

"Listen, my brother isn't available. Don't call again. Please don't bother him anymore," came the venomous reply. Taken aback by the hostility, you couldn't understand why she reacted so aggressively when you hadn't even spoken poorly of Cillian. After a momentary pause, you found your voice.

"Actually, it's important we talk, whether you like it or not," you stated resolutely, ignoring the sharp edge in her voice. There was another brief silence followed by a mocking laughter that broke the air.

"Listen sweetheart, Cillian is going through legal proceedings against his wife, Danielle, because of you. He should not be speaking to you and if you call this phone again, I will provide you with a cease-and-desist letter on my brother's behalf. Any further contact will be considered as harassment, " she threatened ominously making you realise that the woman on the other end of the line was not only Cillian's sister, but also his solicitor, handling his custody case. 

You recalled having met her at the funeral a few weeks ago. Her name was Alison and she worked at one of the largest law firms in Dublin. 

As the conversation progressed, it became apparent that she despised you with an intensity that took you off guard. To make matters worse, she insisted you ceased communication with Cillian altogether. This was problematic considering she served as both Cillian's attorney and sister, putting her in a unique and potentially influential position.

You struggled to comprehend the full extent of your predicament until now. How were you supposed to inform Cillian about the child growing inside you without incurring the wrath of his sister?

It appeared impossible. Nonetheless, you had to reach out somehow, eventually, and hope for understanding from both sides despite their conflicted history.

As days turned into weeks, you grew increasingly anxious and restless, worrying constantly about how you were going to break the news to Cillian as the dire three-month mark drew nearer and you had yet another appointment with a local social worker to discuss your situation.

She offered you both, a community funded loan to carry out the procedure you needed or the option of putting you in touch with an adoption agency so that, further down the track, you could give up your child if you desired to do so.

Although it may seem cruel, it seemed practical and logical in light of your situation and, in the end, even Emma agreed with you on that front. The idea that you could choose whether or not to become a parent appealed to your desire for control over your destiny. However, this was easier said than done. Having a baby meant drastically altering your course forever, but you also knew that, not having the baby, might cause you regret. 

The choice loomed large, casting its shadow over your daily existence. You frequently found yourself pondering the gravity of your options while walking along the quiet streets surrounding your temporary residence late at night. You often stopped in your tracks, contemplating your fate as a result of your irresponsible actions.

Life seemed determined to play itself out according to the chaos you created. Every passing day brought you closer to facing the inevitable truth and this truth was now something you had to confront by yourself. Without the man who caused all this by your site. 

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#cillian murphy #cillian murphy smut #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy imagine #cillian murphy x you #cillian murphy x y/n #cillian fanfic #cillianmurphy #cillian x fem!reader #cillian murphy fic #cillian murphy fanfic #cillian murphy fanfiction

[azrielbrainrot]

The Devil I Revel In - Part II

Demon!Azriel x Priestess!Reader

Description: Your duties take you into the forest often but one day you feel compelled to explore further. What could go wrong?

Warnings: none

Word Count: 3992

Notes: This was supposed to be a bit darker but I crave fluff. With the ideas I have it will get darker eventually though. Also I hope Az isn't too ooc but since it's an au he has to be a little.

Part I

The weeks after your encounter with the demon were spent in a limbo-like state. Some days it feels like you actually dreamed the whole thing up. Your ankle doesn't even have a scar after almost being cut off in the trap. There's nothing left of that day but your memories, memories that go against everything you ever thought you knew.

Not only did a demon help you but he also showed you the wards never protected you from demons like you had been taught your whole life. You didn't know what to believe anymore. It felt like your whole life changed but, at the same time, you were stuck in the exact same place.

When it was time for your next monthly visit, the ground was covered in ice and snow, making it impossible to make the journey. This usually happened in the last month of the year, you were used to it, but, for some reason, this time you insisted with the priestesses to let you go anyway. Of course they didn't let you and almost punished you for being so persistent. They reminded you of your place in the temple and gave you a few extra chores.

It was after this incident, while you were washing clothes outside and your hands trembled horribly because of the cold, that you remembered you were just playing a role. You remembered how many times you got in trouble when you were young simply for asking questions or wanting to play. You remembered how, one day similar to today, where everyone else was getting ready for dinner and you were left with extra chores that were too hard on your body, you had chosen to go along with everyone else so you could at least have some peace of mind. You had almost lost yourself in this role, and maybe coming so close to death had reawakened you.

During the next month, you found yourself not paying much attention to the prayers for peace and safety, only asking that no more snow fell when it was time to go into the forest. Even the prayers asking for forgiveness had stopped. You didn't feel guilty anymore about hiding the truth of the wards from everyone. The demon was right, there had never been an attack by a demon despite the wards not working on them and they wouldn't have listened to you, they never do.

You hadn't realized he specified that demons were the only creatures able to pass through the wards until a few days later. This meant the wards still protected you from other monsters and that demons just didn't choose to attack humans, at least in this area. Your whole life you had been told that demons were mindless creatures, who only craved death and destruction. You now knew this wasn't completely true. You weren't so naive to think that all demons were kind just because one helped you but just as there are good and bad humans, there must also be good and bad demons.

When it was finally time to go back to the forest, the sun was shining and the road was dry. You had never thanked the Gods so earnestly in your prayers before. You weren't sure if the good weather had anything to do with divine intervention but you thanked them anyway, yearning to get out of the suffocating walls of the temple that seemed to be closing in on you more and more each day.

You're not sure if it was your sense of justice or just a lack of self preservation that prompted you, but you decided to thank the demon properly after what he did. You would have died in a truly horrific way if he hadn't found you before the vampire that laid that trap. You don't know much about vampires, but you know they feed on blood and drain any living thing they can find. You would thank the demon on your knees for saving you from that fate if you had to.

Of course your judgment wasn't completely clouded after a singular act of kindness. Part of the reason you want to thank him is that you don't want to owe the demon anything. There was also some hope he would answer some of your questions about the wards, it seems like he's the only one you can trust now.

The walk to the forest is done in almost half the usual time. With no flowers or berries to pick, you have no moment to spare and if you wanted to catch the demon you'd have to be there at the same time as before. This might have also been the first time you had walked past the first row of trees without stopping to look around and enjoy the silence and freedom only the woods could provide. You briefly hesitate before praying to the wards, and then walk in the direction of the stream.

You stare at the mark on the last tree just as you had done the last time you were here. Curiosity had led you ahead before but today you can only call this stupidity. You had no way of knowing the demon would be there. You also had no way of knowing any vampires or other monsters wouldn't be there. Still, you start walking beyond the wards again.

With every step to the clearing you had met the demon at, you questioned your decision more and more. There was no saying the creature wouldn't kill you just because he didn't before. He wasn't exactly friendly either but you reckon you were just judging him by human standards. Who are you to say he wasn't nice amongst demons? Somehow that didn't sound right.

You walk over to the same bushes you had stepped into the trap, feeling your stomach revolting at your choices. You had almost died in this spot. Looking down at the stream that started it all, you see it's barely running, still half frozen from the cold winter. You didn't even get the chance to watch it last time since you were preoccupied with the demon in front of you but, after what happened because of it, you didn't feel too excited to see it anymore.

Walking back to the clearing, you find a tree somewhat hidden and sit against it. Even with the undercurrent of fear moving through your body, you feel much better here, in between the trees, than at the temple. You never understood why they kept the walls so high around the land if they already had magical wards protecting them, the white walls just made everything look more detached from the world. You don't know why they won't let you leave either.

You let out a sigh and close your eyes, breathing in the scent of the forest still slightly damp from the rain a few days ago. The sun wasn't quite warm enough but at least the wind was quiet. You wanted to sit under the sun, your body was getting cold now that you stopped moving, but that would probably make you an even easier target. You really hoped the demon would be around.

After a while you felt the forest go quiet, the same way it did all those weeks ago. You opened your eyes and looked around until you saw a pair of red eyes watching you. You'd like to say you were less scared this time but seeing the demon made your body freeze up. He was watching you from the bushes, half hidden in his shadows. You wondered at that moment if they were to completely cover him, would you even be able to see him.

Willing yourself to move, you sit up straighter and push your palms against the floor, standing up to meet the demon across the clearing. But he beats you to it, taking careful steps to you. His face was as unreadable as always but there was a look you know was of curiosity in his eyes, and you were proud of yourself for being the reason for it. Your heart calms a bit.

You get a better look at him today and notice he wore the same leathers. You hope the Gods won't punish you but you can't help but think how beautiful he is. His face looks perfectly carved, as if someone took their time making sure it was flawless, and the scarlet eyes shine strikingly against his skin. You thought the blood red eyes were scary the last time you saw him, but now you think they definitely suit him. In fact, as scary as the black leather, huge wings and the cold mask on his face make him look, they suit him extremely well.

“Didn't learn your lesson, priestess?” It's like he could read your thoughts and decided to remind you he was a demon after all. The way he managed to speak to you with a hint of condescension and amusement but somehow not give away anything on his face made your blood boil a little. However, as annoying as it might be, it gives you something to focus on other than your fear.

“I came here looking for you.” His head tilts a little to the side and the confusion is clear on his once expressionless face. You suppose it makes sense. You aren't entirely sure why you'd do such a thing either, but it's too late to back down now. “You helped me and I wanted to thank you. I would have been dead if it weren't for you.”

“I don't care about that,” his face went back to his usual mask which only seemed colder with the bluntness in his tone. You deflated slightly and even the demon must have realized how cruel those words sounded because he continued speaking, “It's too dangerous for you beyond the wards. You shouldn't come here just to do that.”

“You helped me and I like to thank people properly for it. Especially when they save my life.” You almost want to pat yourself on the back for being able to maintain eye contact and a steady voice after what he said before. You knew better than him how dangerous this was, you were the one at risk after all, but this was important to you, even if you weren't sure why it mattered so much.

He was studying you so intensely you could almost see his brain working. Did he think this was a trap or something? Walking beyond the wards was a bit weird but you didn't think it was the reason for such surprise. It wasn't the first time after all.

“Do demons not thank each other? Is that not a thing in your world or something?” You should have just taken his bland response and gone back the way you came from but, for some reason, you wanted to keep talking to the demon and to have him accept your gratitude.

“Of course we do.” He almost sounded defensive, like it was an obvious fact. You had never talked to a demon before, you're actually not completely sure you didn't actually die that day and are just dreaming all of this up and demons don't exactly have a good reputation, it wouldn't be too far-fetched to think they have different customs either.

“Then you don't need to look so surprised,” you try to sound nonchalant but you can barely speak louder than a whisper or stop fidgeting, you've never been so keenly aware of your every movement. Even knowing the demon might not kill you, he's still tremendously intimidating. And, well, still a demon. “It's just a thank you.”

“You're thanking a demon,” he reminds you, as if the red eyes and giant wings sprouting from his back weren't a dead giveaway. You cross your arms, trying to defend yourself from the cold as well as his inquisitive gaze. He was looking at you like he could figure out your darkest secrets if he stared long enough and you weren't sure if he wasn't capable of it.

“I know,” you offered, “It's not something I ever thought I'd do either. Believe me.” You had been questioning your own sanity before but having the demon do it too makes you turn a little defensive.

He eyes you for a few more moments and then one of the corners of his mouth quirks up almost seamlessly. It seems he found the answer he was looking for. The demon walked a little closer to you, you suspect to test the waters and see how you'd react. You try to tell your body not to tense up, too much at least, but you know he can still detect the fear and apprehension in your body language.

“Did you come all the way from the temple to thank me?” Now that he's closer you realize the top of your head barely reaches his chest. You have to look up at him almost the same way you'd have to look up at a tree.

“No, I come to the forest every month.” You didn't want him to think that you came all this way just for this but deep down you know that, if the temple let you go out whenever you wanted, you would have come here sooner just to talk to him. “I simply walked a little further to thank you.”

“The forest is dangerous for humans.” Maybe you can't blame him too much for thinking you're a reckless idiot given how you met but it's still annoying.

“That's why I stay inside the wards.” The look he gives you tells you what he's thinking immediately. “Last time was an exception. I heard the creek and wanted to see it,” your cheeks warm slightly as you explain it, embarrassed that you almost lost your life over something so trivial, “I'd never seen one before since I'm not allowed to leave the temple.”

“You're not allowed to leave at all?” You're starting to think his face only knows the usual blank expression or this look of confusion.

“No,” you tilt your head slightly, “I'm a priestess.” Demons definitely don't have those.

“A lot of priestesses can leave their temples if they wish to. Some don't even live there,” he tells you matter-of-factly, like he expected you to know this.

“And you're an expert on how human temples work?”

“It looks like I know more than you.” The fact that he wasn't even trying to be condescending as he said this almost makes you want to scream out in anger. He's just stating a fact. The sky is blue, the trees are green and you don't know anything outside of the temple walls.

“Before you left,” you hesitate for a second, not sure if you're ready for this conversation, “You said the wards didn't work on demons” He just nods once. You both saw him take you to the stones, inside the wards, with no issues so it was a pointless question really. “Can other monsters walk through them? Were the wards always made to only stop other creatures? Why would the Gods do that? As nasty as the other monsters are, demons are a lot more dangerous. That much I know.”

Everything you've been holding in for the past months is trying to come to the surface. It looks like he doesn't want to answer your questions though. He's just studying your face with that irritating look on his face again. Why would he be hesitating when you're the one who has so much to lose?

“You can't expect me to find out about all this and not have more questions.” You try to level your tone, reminding yourself that you're talking to a demon you barely know and that it's not really his fault you don't know anything about this world. “It's not like I'm going to tell anyone, and if I did they'd just kill me and solve the problem for you anyway.”

He doesn't start speaking immediately, letting his shadows move over him until one hovered over his ear. It almost looks like it's talking to him, you wonder if that is even possible but you have no idea how magic works, you've seen him disappear in one place and show up in the other in a matter of seconds after all.

“Some things are better left unknown.” You can't help the glare on your face, but it seems like he doesn't pay it any mind as he continues, “Don't bite off more than you can chew, little priestess.”

“Can you not call me that?” One thing the other priestesses were definitely right about is that demons can lure you to do things you never would otherwise. You've never been this annoyed in your life, if fear didn't ground you, you couldn't be held responsible for your actions. “I have a name.”

“Giving your name to a demon can be a very dangerous thing,” that terrifying, self-confident smirk was back, “Have they not taught you anything at your little temple?” They had. Giving your name to any creature, especially a demon, could mean letting them have power over you. No one truly knows what they could even do with it but you'd rather not find out. The thing is: you're almost certain this demon won't hurt you, name or no name.

“You've already crossed that line so it might be better for you to know.” Some of the amusement lingered on his face, not at the fact that you didn't know anything but because you wanted to know more, despite your teachings and his warnings. “Demons are the only creatures that can go through the wards, everything else wouldn't even be able to get near them. There probably wouldn't be any humans left if they could.” You had been right then. But this is just leaving you with more questions. “The wards were always only meant to protect the humans from less powerful monsters. As to why… The Gods didn't create those wards.”

“That's impossible. No human could take those stones and carve them out like that.” Not to mention the magic needed to actually create the wards around them.

“I didn't say it was a human.” You search his face. He can't be implying…

“What do you mean?” You ask knowing the answer but needing to hear it from his mouth.

“This happened a long time ago so there's not much information left but it seems like a human king managed to strike a bargain with a very powerful demon a long time ago. Bargains are unbreakable after they're accepted. The human asked for the demon to protect them from the monsters and the demon became the first demon lord possibly through making them.”

“Were the Gods even real?” You didn't know what to believe or think at this point. Every word that comes out of the demon's mouth chips a little more at your reality. If you choose to believe the demon then nothing you were ever told is true. The worst part is it's not a choice. You know the demon is not lying.

“Yes. Some might even still be alive but even demons don't know much about them. They lived before us. It is thought that They helped humans a long time ago, some even say They were the ones who taught the human king to make the bargain.”

You stay quiet for a while, trying to digest all this new information. The temple was built to honor The Gods who created the wards, who protect the humans from these vicious creatures. Were all the prayers even worth it? Was living inside those walls to honor them worth it? Have you been wasting your life this whole time?

From what he told you there might not even be any Gods left. You never thought death was possible for them. Even if They are out there… It was a demon that created the wards, despite being at the king's order and with possible ulterior motives, the first demon lord was the one who created the wards protecting you. Should the temples be in honor of him instead? That's almost laughable. The thing keeping you safe was created by someone who probably wouldn't think twice about eradicating your entire race. Or maybe he wouldn't. The demon said it was because of a bargain, whatever that means, but the demon lord couldn't have been too opposed to it.

Could the Elders at the temple know about this? They have rooms full of ancient books and are revered for their knowledge. And if they do… What else could they be lying to you about? Gods, you don't know what to think anymore. Your brain feels like it's going to melt.

“Shouldn't you be going back to the temple by now?” The demon looked like he wasn't sure what to do with you, this is probably the first time he's had to deal with a human having a severe mental breakdown.

You look to the sky, seeing how much darker it already was. It seems you were lost in your thoughts for a long time, you had even sat back down against the tree without noticing. Looking up at him, you try to use his presence to ground you into the moment, like an anchor against your flowing thoughts. If you don't show up at the temple soon the priestesses will have questions, they were already suspicious after the last time.

“Can you take me like you did the last time?” Walking back all the way is out of question. You would never make it back before nightfall.

“Already asking me for favors? Those come at a price where I come from.” The expression on his face is less taunting and more teasing now, and, if you weren't already having trouble processing so much, you'd realize that the demon might be trying to make you feel better in his own way, if only so you stop shaking in front of him.

“Please,” you hate how soft your voice came out, it was just a hair short of begging, but you find, after finding out about all this, you're even more scared of what the temple could do if you were late. You keep talking, not wanting to sound so weak in front of such a powerful creature, “You said a dead priestess in the forest would only bring you trouble, right?”

The demon ends up agreeing with a lot less effort than you thought - it seems using this kind of magic is routine for him - and, faster than you could blink, you were covered in those mysterious shadows and back inside the wards, right at the tree line. He must have sensed your urgency to get back because he brought you even further than last time.

You turn to thank him again but he was already half covered in shadows, ready to leave you behind. For some reason you feel your heart twist at the thought.

“You're just going to leave?” You can't help but blurt out. The way he tilts his head a bit in confusion is the only sign you're given that he heard you at first but, after a few moments of staring at each other, he finally speaks up.

“We're here. You said you were late."

“You can at least warn me before leaving. A goodbye would be preferable,” you hike up your skirt and start walking backwards, “You need to work on your manners.” You give him what you hope is a teasing grin, though you can feel it lacks strength considering the state of your mind at the moment, and turn around, leaving him behind this time. You did, however, catch a glimpse of the small smile playing at his lips. You carried that smile with you all the way to the temple even through your racing thoughts.

#azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel x y/n #azriel fluff #azriel fic #azriel shadowsinger #azriel acotar #divider by saradika

[factual-fantasy]

Heya Factual! Congrats on the 23,000! Yet another well deserved milestone earned by your hard work and dedication! Really sorry about the cold- we always seem to get sick at the worst of times! Definitely don't do anything crazy till you're 100%, but thanks for making that really cute celebration piece- you can really tell how much the factual Fam cares about you from their worried expressions...and then there's Gerald, who refuses to let his happy demeanor waver for a second! Though then again, he is still quite young- he might not even understand the concept of getting sick yet!

And on that note, at least till you're better, I definitely won't send any unnecessarily exhausting Asks like last time ( thanks for answering that so thoroughly though- that was really cool! ) and just keep it simple- and my ask today is regarding the simplest Mario enemy, the goomba!

You've mentioned them in the past as beings created by Kamek- How does he do it? How long has he been doing it? Are the goombas sentient, or just savage constructs? How many are there, in ratio to the Koopas? Did the bros have to fight through a bunch of them on their way to the castle? And do any of their variants exist, such as the micro goombas, para goombas, or giant goombas? We require the Goomba Lore!

Thank you! :DD I'm doing my best to take it easy.. I've spent most of my days recently either sleeping, sitting, or playing Pokemon Scarlet XDD that's relaxing right? Yes, I believe so-

As for Gerald, he isn't ignorant to my condition- he's actually meant to be surprisingly emotionally aware. :0 He's smiling though all this because he wants the others to be happy. And if he's calm and smiling, maybe we'll smile too.. 🥺

I was intending to draw a comic that goes into Gerald's character a bit more... But I just haven't been well enough recently to take on a project like that.. :((

And don't worry about "exhausting asks", I encourage them! :D I could really use some lengthy asks as a form of distraction to be honest.. 🥹💔

Speaking of asks, about your Goomba questions..

Well, starting with Kamek actually- I have intentions to make him a few hundred years old. Being the most powerful magikoopa there ever was supposedly.. and he's been associated with the royal Koopa family for generations.. though this idea is in canon limbo, because I'm having trouble figuring how exactly he's managed to live so long. Considering how magic works in my au.. his lengthy life span shouldn't be possible..

None the less, even though I haven't gotten that idea to fit yet- I love it so much that most of the au kinda branches off from it- <XDDD so with that established, Kamek brings Goombas to "life" using magic of course!

I was thinking that the ability animate dead/inanimate things is a very complex magic that took Kamek years to learn. And he was only finally able to master it in the last 100 years or so.

Now for the Goombas, they are not sentient for sure. They are just these little.. zombie like.. machines. They start as poisonous mushrooms and when they are "brought to life", they gain this desire and need move and attack anything that doesn't appear to be a Koopa.

As for the Koopa to Goomba ratio.. I'd say they make up 1.5/10 of the kingdoms population. They are very disposable and "easy" to make.. but they are relatively fragile creatures and take a while to grow.. plus the Goombas don't live very long. Since they uproot themselves upon being "Goomba-fied", they eventually wilt and die.. :/ so that number doesn't ever go over 1.5.

I'm sure Mario and Luigi had to squash some on the way to save Peach the first time. But it was only after her rescue that one landed a bite on Luigi..

As for their variants, the micro and Giant Goombas surly exist! Though king Goomba might not because the original brown mushrooms probably don't grow that big-

As for para-goombas.. hmm.. I know there won't be any Goombas with wings going around. But perhaps there could be a Goomba that can release airborne spores.. or at the very least can attack from afar.. that could get them the title of para-goomba! :0

I think I covered everything, I hope at least-

Thank you for the ask and interest in my au! :DDD it was a nice read and took my mind off of all my ailments for a short time 🥹💖

#my response #super mario bros #i really gotta work on kameks plot holes #i want him to be super oldddd #being loyal to the koopa family for generations.. #hes personally met them #all the family stories and secrets and grief this man knows... #OH OH ALSO #it would be so cool if he was 100s of years old and when you look closer at him you realize not much of his original body remains- #he would be so creepy and haunting #you'd wonder how much of this man is “kamek” and how much is a brainwashed drone meant to serve the king.. #ooooo hes so fun i love kamek #i wanna draw him so baaadddd 😭😭💔

[tobi-smp]

Context: [Link]

I don't want to call out any responses in particular, so I won't. but on the subject of exile textually taking place for several months (as stated by the characters in roleplay) I just !

find it Extremely Strange that the constant reaction to that is that tommy's perception of time is unreliable and therefore we should work off of the assumption that it's wrong.

like don't get me wrong, that could Absolutely be an intentional aspect of a story about mental health and trauma. loss of time is a really common symptom, for instance. I struggle with the passage of time a lot when my mental health gets bad in a certain way.

but it's strange to me because the fandom Only does this with tommy.

wilbur says that he spent 9 years in superhell and this is taken unquestionably at face value, even as the fandom refuses to age him up to reflect this. the entire Idea of what limbo is and what it does to people was changed to accommodate wilbur's description of it. and it's just taken for granted that wilbur's perception of his time there is completely 100% correct.

and I'm not saying that we Should start questioning it, but being in an infinite void with absolutely no contact with the outside world that never changes seems far more disorienting time-wise than like. living on a beach where you can see the sun rise and fall every day.

but it's Assumed that wilbur must know while it's insisted over and over again that tommy's own perception cannot be trusted.

and this is all Especially weird because ! tommy Wasn't the only person who referenced the amount of time that passed. dream was very much so Also there. when tommy commented on going without a visitor for days at a time (outside of dream himself) dream would agree. when tommy referenced weeks dream would agree.

and yes, dream put the Gaslight in girlboss. he very much so Wants tommy to be out of touch with reality and unsteady on his feet. but you'd think pointing Out that discrepancy would Be The Point.

when tommy hallucinated tubbo dream was there to tell him that his perception of reality was wrong. that tommy should stop listening to his own mind and start listening to dream instead. that when dream tells him that something happened one way then it Did regardless of what he thinks he remembers.

so if tommy really Was wrong, if his perception of time in exile was off by Literal Months. you'd think dream would've taken Advantage of that instead of just. letting it slide.

it's just Strange that this appears to be a double standard. people don't even argue that Fundy's perception of time is wrong when he insists that he's been on vacation for a full year after like, a month long break from streaming.

#dream smp #tommyinnit #wilbur soot #meta #is this discourse? #I don't think it's discourse but it might be

[haphazardcorvid]

There's something sort of distorted with how grief is currently being seen and dealt with on the island + Qsmp.

I've been thinking about this for a while during the missing egg arc, but Bagi implying that Foolish wasn't that attached to Leo has finally pushed me into putting the thoughts into words.

I really don't like how several of the islanders - especially the new ones - view grief and expressions of grief. It's like they expect all grief to be big and loud and performative, and otherwise, it isn't as significant, or as important. Like how Bagi's expectations for sadness seem to be shaped by Bbh's very visual, obvious deterioration, and disregards that MAYBE, just MAYBE, not everyone is going to shove their feelings in your face when they barely know you? That some people may break down privately, where you are not privy to their thoughts, and you are not entitled to a public performance of that grief in order to verify that they do, in fact, care?

It's not just islanders who haven't spent much time with the eggs either - Forever himself said he thought that, ASIDE FROM BAGHERA AND BBH, everyone was simply moving on and living life without the eggs. Funnily enough, these are both players with skins that specifically denote emotional turmoil :). Does grief have to expressly visualised for people to acknowledge that it's there? That was particularly jarring as a Philza main, who's character was and is currently going through a drealisation and mental deterioration arc after going to suspicious coordinates (the birdcage) FOR THE SAKE OF HIS EGGS.

Most annoyingly it also bleeds into the fandom sometimes, despite the fact we have the benefit of meta awareness. I've seen posts or comments about how 'oh, bbh is the only one truly miserable about the eggs' 'other islanders aren't suffering about the kids like ___".

It's just striking having watched Fit, a person whom canonically struggles with outward expressions of vulnerable emotion due to his background but clearly deeply misses Ramon, who would fall into this 'unaffected' category because he's not giving showy public displays or monologues about his feelings. Or Phil, who to members of the island who haven't reached out to him on those topics, seems largely still like a strong rock to lean on because he plunged himself into propping up other islanders the moment he returned - but behind closed doors fell apart at Tallulah's letter and is clearly rapidly deteriorating as a character. Or Foolish, who maintains an upbeat character, retains his capacity to carry on moving, and lives as brightly as he can while SIMULTANEOUSLY being completely broken up internally about his daughter. You can see it in the way they talk about their kids, how they rush to collect any clues whenever they pop up, how many of them seem to be living in limbo, incapable of new changes and beginnings.

And alright. So that's not explicit to those other characters. But it should not have to be visually explicit for them to not degrade their grief. The assumption should not be that grief is either public or nonexistent. You are not entitled to flashy displays of feeling. Forthright and in your face emotion is not the baseline requirement for distress. Demeaning someone's attachment to their child because they aren't grieving in the RIGHT way for YOU, one that isn't visible enough to YOU, isn't excusable because 'oh I can't really see how that person is feeling though'. It's basic social understanding.

And of course they are aware of the mental and emotional states of their friends - who are also very visual with their grieving - above others, because those people are ALSO the ones that those like Bagi and Forever consistently interact with for prolonged periods of time. Have they actually really, deeply talked with all the other islanders about their internal state? No, of course not, they don't spend that much time with them and aren't that close. That's not bad or anything, that's life and relationships and very normal. But then what grounds do those assumptions of 'oh, there are parents who don't care' actually have? They themselves should be capable of acknowledging that they don't actually have insight into these other people, and they should not be using the expressions of grief from say Baghera and Bbh as a cudgel to cheapen and diminish that of others.

#Sorry that's a lot #It was all adding up slowly - just an awareness of a general disregard some people had for how others were processing the disappearance #But the fact that it didn't get resolved with time and in fact seems worse just pulled it out of me all at once #The Foolish and Bagi thing mainly #Just how being subtle in your distress leads particular people to brush it off or pretend you feel quite the opposite is frustrating #And soz kinda personal lmao #as a person who has struggled heavily mentally but has had it devalued using how others outwardly react to their own issues #It kinda resonated #Foosh you are valid and a brilliant father to me #qsmp #qsmp foolish #qsmp baghera #qsmp forever #qsmp bagi #qsmp eggs #qsmp philza #qsmp fitmc #qsmp badboyhalo #Edit - just to note this is about the characters and their interactions only #It would be stupid to be saying this about actual ccs lmao

[mari-lair]

Sure! Hanako have too much to work with, since he is the main character, so I’ll focus on the thing I love the most about him: His inexperience when it comes to caring about others.

Hanako put up thick walls between himself and his peers, rarely connecting to others, be they humans or supernaturals.

Helping students and keeping them safe is his duty, his punishment to atone, not something he personally wants, his own personal view is far more ‘cold’, Amane’s empathy was destroyed after he became a supernatural, beaten down after sixty years of being dead.

What he tells Kou here is true.

He has shown time and time again, people’s life isn’t particularly important to him,  he’ll exchange one life for another without guilt for the person he doomed because of personal preference, and had destroyed yorishiros since the start of the manga, knowing of the danger of doing so, for his own gains.

Before the manga story starts, Hanako is alone.

He plays with the other mysteries but he doesn’t consider anyone his friend. He keeps a distance even from Tsuchigamori, unaware Amane’s moon rock is his old teacher’s yorishiro and seemingly not talking to him much, only looking for Tsuchigomori when he needs him for something.

He is apathetic to practically everything, drowning in his own misery: Tsukasa is the only one that can break him out of his apathetic state, and he terrifies Hanako. Even though he is the titular character, we never see Hanako’s boundary because he doesn’t want to face his yorishiro, finding it much easier to hide and spend his afterlife in the bathroom instead.

Tsukasa was important to Amane, and while he is important to Hanako as well, Tsukasa is rarely perceived as his brother, his presence is mostly treated as the personification of Hanako’s guilt. Hanako hasn’t tried to understand Tsukasa’s feelings or expressed worry about his well-being: out of all his comflicting emotions, his priority is usually to look away.

Hanako has spent his afterlife in this limbo of running away and not connecting with anyone, but eventually, he met two people he got very attached to: Kou and Nene.

He loves them a lot, much more than he loves himself.

He will try his very best to face Tsukasa, the embodiment of the trauma he has been running away from, to keep them safe.

Most of the time, Hanako fails: he is too terrified to act, he panics.

He can’t help when Tsukasa is his oponent.

Even outside his past, there are still things Hanako can’t help with.

The guilt and panic and pain of having no use for someone he wants to help hurt, but Hanako doesn’t run away from this pain.

He tries to help anyways, to reach out as best he can.

And Kou’s trouble linger in his mind, when the kid gets depressed again, Hanako try to help him again.

He want Kou to feel better.

He may have said “He is kind of like you, isn’t he, No.2?” but he doesn’t care about Yako or her attachment to Misaki, his attention is on Kou the second he finish his request: interested in his reaction, not her feelings.

He is selfish though, he cares about their feelings, but he mostly listens to his own, which is most obvious to see with Nene.

In the clock keepers arc he mentioned he kept Nene’s lifespan secret because he wants her to live her best life in blissful ignorance, but he doesn’t make her the priority, he makes himself: He is aware she hates toilet duty, no one enjoys being forced to waste their evenings cleaning a bathroom, but he likes it.

He rarely enjoys things, so he can’t let go of it. He can’t sacrifice this hint of joy for the sake of Nene living “her best life”.

He adores spending time with her, and since he has very little self-worth, he is convinced she would never spend time with him by her own volition, he needs to use the cleaning duty to keep her close.

Is why he gets so happy when she calls him a friend.

This love, this care, is something Hanako really wants from her.

But is also something Hanako doesn’t think he deserves.

He can get frustrated by how much they love him, by how distorted their view is, as if he is a ‘good ghost’. He loves their kindness but he feel greedy for it, he loves their optimist but he is constantly looking down at them for it.

He loves them but he hates himself. So he sabotage himself.

He tells Kou and Nene point blank his bad traits “I am dead already. I don’t care if someone dies or not.” “I killed someone and you shouldn’t excuse it” “I am selfish, I care about you Nene, and not your best friend.” are things he only tell Nene and Kou, as if he was screaming. “I am not a good ghost!” even if he will never  tell them “Leave me alone, stop visiting me.”

Hanako is constantly fighting between clinging to what he loves, regardless of how much his behavior hurt them, and telling himself he should want them away from him.

Both of his attempts to save Nene involved being away from her, either trapping her in picture-perfect until she forgot about him, or exchanging Aoi’s lifespan with Nene’s, saving her but making it so he can’t see her again, and she would eventually forget about him.

The more Hanako's love for Nene grow the bigger the lengths he is willing to go for her, even if at it core, his love remains selfish, he knew Nene wouldn’t be happy with his solutions, but he doesn’t care, cause she will live, and she will live by his own hands.

He acts like doesn’t know why he does this a lot of times:

And to some degree, he truly doesn’t know.

Hanako has many mental blocks when it comes to admitting vulnerability, even to himself. He looks anguished when he confesses to Nene that he wants her to live.

Hanako never had a wish, not outside his “wish” to atone, which he constantly refears to as punishment, not something he personally want, just something he deserves.

 Even as Amane he had given up on his wish.

So wishing for Nene to live is a very new feeling.

This wish makes him go against his duties as No.7 and his quest to ‘repent’, but he can’t even care because he really wants her to live. And is not like going against “god’s will” is what trouble him, since he destroys yorishiros the second he got the chance.

He just want her to not die that much. He can no longer deny he is smitten with her.

We can see this all consuming care with Kou too, even if it is more subtle it’s still very present, and just as impactful in his afterlife.

Nene is someone he loves but very rarely rely on, she is his special someone, he’ll go above and beyond to do what he believe is best for her, ask anyone and even if they disapprove of his actions, they can’t deny he cling to her, always ready to rescue her.

His view on Kou is different, he is someone he ask to fight and help. Is not that he doesn’t trust Nene, not exactly, but he had the “I’ll keep you in the dark mentality” from the second they met, while he never planed to treasure Kou, he just saw enough potential, or use, in this exorcist kid to occasionally rely on him.

Hanako plans for Kou only involved a vague “he can exorcise me later” idea, but he ends up genuinely caring about Kou after he stand up for him agaist Teru in the young exorcist arc. 

It’s no longer just “this boy is so funny! I can both make fun of him and use him”, now Kou is his friend.

Just compare how he treats Kou when he is in Yako’s boundary, and in Hell of Mirrors.

He has gotten the habit to be more honest with Kou, he is always counting on him on little things when they are together, and it hurts so bad when Kou fail, because Hanako trusts him, and he hasn’t trusted someone in such a personal way in 60 years.

Hanako is more comfortable hating himself them his friends, so he usually doesn’t let his dissapointment in Kou linger. Focusing most of his negative thoughts on himself.

Kou isn’t infallible, but he is the one Hanako trusts the most. Hanako used to trust Kou almost blindly, holding on to the feeling, but once he was let down, he gets so hurt, he resents the feeling.

He is a contradictory character. It feels like he hate Kou at times and is frustrated by Nene, but he can’t stop caring about them. He only got attached to two people, he can try, and he will, but he can’t pretend they aren’t important to him.].

We know Hanako lingered in Mei's fake world because his deepest wish is to be human with Nene. So even though it is a big red flag for Nene to see “Amane” in her class, the supernatural couldn’t resist playing pretend.

Just for a bit, just for a taste of a normal life with her.

He is consistently selfish and irrational when it comes to Nene. He can’t let go.

His view on Kou is less frenzy but he can’t be discarded either, the kid is the other half of his reason to want to be alive after years of just accepting his death.

He have made up his mind about not going anywhere, he still refuse to follow the crew to Mei's exit, to the moon, but he wants Kou and Nene to always come to him.

Cause even thought Yashiro was his focus, and Mitsuba took most of Kou’s time, Hanako does make it very clear he want Kou there. He even try to knock Kou out like he did with Nene the second he notices Mitsuba failed to distract him.

He risked Kou being in this world, indulged Mitsuba in his dream to be human and live a normal school life by the side of friends, which is a wish Hanako has shown to actively disapprove of in hell of mirrors (and is the very same wish that Hanako have expressed to have in this arc), because Kou is part of it.

His motives for wanting to trap Kou until he lose his memories are unclear but his anger towards Kou for giving him hope after years of nothing only to realize he can’t back up his promises to make Nene live is all over picture perfect.

And Hanako is a coward, he get angry kou want to stop him, discount his anger on Mitsuba, doesn’t explain anything, take Nene, and leave Kou confused.

Hanako only loses his patience and tell how he feels when Kou is in his way, and Hanako needs to beat him if he wants Nene to stay.

The one thing that he’ll always prioritize above all else is Nene after all.

There is a certain determination to only focus on Nene after picture-perfect, not take Kou as seriously.

And what kills me is that Hanako’s attempts to distance himself are very half-hearted.

It fails.

No matter how real his anger and dissapointment, his care is just as real, if not more so. He is still eager to play fight with Kou and spend time with him. Their overall trio dynamic isn't affected.

Is always “Nene” and “Kou” and “everyone else”. Even when Kou isn’t in the scene, Hanako thinks of him.

There is this idea Kou is important, an implied “If I can’t save Nene, Kou will be the one to save her”, even with all the reasons and proof he has that Kou can’t do something as big as alter her fate, part of him still believe Kou can do it. Is a part of him that is illogical and Hanako hates it, and doesn’t want to deal with it.

So he focus on Nene's lifespan, he became obsessed with it.

He has always been possessive of Nene. In any chapter they are together he is touchy and flirty and so openly attached to her, it’s insane!

He knows he is in love.

He also knows he is the ghost of a dead killed and feels like Nene deserves better than what he has to offer, but he can’t let her go.

Even when he is determined to grant her wish, to make a ‘no turn back’ decision, his determination crumbles the second they are face to face, his logic dies and he is just... Happy to see her again.

Even if he knows his plans failed, even if he knows she will die, he just... like seeing her.

His love is openly selfish and doomed to not last, which is something he understands and doesn’t know how to deal with, but just like he can’t force himself to truly hate Kou and stop believing in him, he also can’t force himself to stop loving Nene and desperately trying to find ways to make her live.

He is a mess.

#hanako is a character I love but don't have brainrot on #so i hope the lenght of this analysis make up for how I just stuck to mostly one topic (the one i feel like i know something about) #though i am sure a hanako fan can provide more insight #i swear i did my best #tbhk #toilet bound hanako kun #jshk #jibaku shounen hanako kun #hanakou #hananene #hananenekou #character analysis #tumblr please show it in the tags i love you

[jess-the-vampire]

To be fair, the whole mind reading thing with Belos in canon isn't necessarily unheard of, seeing how Odalia could do the same with her Oracle magic.

Then again, she specifically needed an enchanted amulet in order to communicate with Amity telepathically, so we're back to square one here.

i think i mentioned it before in the past, but belos's powerset is a little wonky, i'm not really convinced he wasn't rewritten between seasons because of some of these detials.

he has this artificial magic, something that is kinda neat and was a dead giveaway he wasn't a normal witch, but the show never really explains what artificial magic is and how it works exactly. Toh has rules for it's magic so it is a wonder exactly how one creates a "Fake magic" on the isles. (Like at one point they maybe imply it's coming from his arm glyphs but that doesn't explain his staff or hunter's staff)

Collector claims he taught belos magic, but outside of the draining spell....we don't really know what he means by that specifically.

and then you have his curse, which is a whole mess in itself, he's got several abilities, some of which just kinda....happen. Not to mention the rules of his curse aren't really clear to an audience member who thinks about it in more detail, like how much control he has over the curse for example (He has scenes where he clearly has control but there are others where he clearly doesn't), or why he was cursed and for what reason, or if the palisman are an extension of life or just to keep the curse at bay (Maybe both? but why would he do this before even seeing caleb again?) ....and also....what the glyph arm is even about. Heck, i'm not quite sure why belos can talk to the palisman in his head, but hunter can't communicate with flap in his own if we're to believe both are being used for a similar purpose of giving the other magic and life. (I mean maybe you can say the fact Philip forced them to give up their lives puts them in some kinda limbo, and not flap who chose to move on, but Philip can also apparently remove them from his head so like-)

(I've heard a LOT of people go on about belos's curse being played for sympathy from the other characters, that he's faking it and it's another addition to how bad of a person he is. And i'm not saying he never faked it, he probably did in some of these scenes, but there's also a lot of scenes where he's clearly in pain and not in control of the curse, so it's clearly not something he's faking for sympathy all of the time. I get the impression this is just because the show really didn't do the greatest job making how his curse functioned clear to the audience that a lot of people are now convinced he was never in pain when he clearly was since he has scenes where it makes no sense to fake it.

Like my best interpretation that makes the most sense is he does have outbursts and he does get hurt but he takes advantage of them, weaponizing his own pain and curse to his benefit where possible)

and then.....we got this power from season 1, which never comes back and is never explained. It could be arguably an oracle power, but oracle magic might be the most underexplored magic covens in the show next to healing, so i genuinely have no idea if that was the intent or even what oracle magic does in this world. I would think if it had use like this belos would use it more often, would of avoided a lot of future issues had he done so.

This might sound a bit nitpickey, it's just i spent a lot of time trying to decipher his abilities to use in my work and i ran into a lot of walls trying to figure out how any of this works in the universe of the show.

he feels like he needs a character bible, there's just a lot here that doesn't quite make sense and i would of loved to have explained in better detail.

and the show usually (Mostly) makes sense with it's magic (Trust me, belos isn't the only character in this show whose magic abilities drive me nuts), i think eda's curse is actually well handled and well explained to the audience. You really understand how her curse works, how she controls and works with it, and it remains consistent in it's abilities.

belos just has way too many abilities, some of which just kinda happen, a lot that aren't entirely explained, and half the time i wonder why he never uses some of these powers at other points in the show.

this fact might not bother some people, but if you're someone trying to study his powers for your work, like me, it's really noticeable.

i think what happened is they needed belos to be able to do several things for plot reasons (He needs a fake magic to hide the human twist, he needs to possess hunter for reasons, he needs to pretend to be human for one scene at the end so now he suddenly can shapeshift, he needs to find out about luz stealing from him so sudden kinetic powers) and then it just became way too much.....i think they should of kept it simpler and less vague if you ask me.

the man has far too many abilities, and too little explanations for why he has them or how they work.

Having some proper limits to his powerset and being able to go from A to B To C on how he works would do miles for him.

#my art #the owl house #toh #emperor belos #philip wittebane

[ahthefreedomofbeingbacteria]

Some ideas if I wrote the 2015 Klarion comic:

-Klarion leaves Limbo Town (LT) at 14 and is homeless for a few years until he meets Rasp at 17 (gotta keep the homeless trend going)

-Klarion still leaves because he kills his teacher (angst)

-Teekl is alive and well

-LT is a faery town in another dimension. I'm still deciding how to make them puritans / puritan inspired (maybe half faery half human, maybe just the ideology instead of them being actual puritans). Their society is structured very similarly to puritan society, with rigid social + gender roles and hierarchy.

- Between LT and Earth there's another sort of mixed dimension that you have to cross through to get to one from the other (you can't jump directly from one to another, you need to cross through there first)

-Familiars in LT are formed from magic in this mixed realm. These familiars are captured and brought to LT to be chosen by young witches for a ceremony at 5 years old. Teekl was a familiar that survived in this mixed realm for several years, which is very rare because almost all familiars either get captured by LT or find there way to Earth and lose most of their magic, becoming normal animals with a little bit of extra supernatural in them. She was considered temperamental and disobedient because she was NOT happy about eventually being captured 💀. She was kept despite this because her being able to survive so long could mean she's a more powerful familiar.

-She was captured in the year that Klarion's ceremony took place in. Klarion instantly wanted her because she was rebellious and cool in his eyes; she was also much bigger than the other familiars because she'd grown up in the mixed realm so BIG FLUFFY KITTY. She hissed and bit at literally everyone.

-Uriah is a clergy member's son in this universe, so he's very bratty and very conceited

-Uriah also wanted Teekl because she was potentially more powerful than the other familiars. He spent the entire time allocated to choosing a familiar chasing after her and trying to force her to like him. Which, if you know cats, had the opposite effect

-Klarion spent what little time Uriah didn't take up talking to her, which is considered very weird behavior because 1) she's not his familiar yet and 2) its considered proper to either talk via the bond formed between witch and familiar or just give them verbal orders.

-At the end of the ceremony Uriah gave up and chose another one. Klarion decided to not pick any familiar because Teekl didnt want to pick anyone. Which was unheard of and also considered very weird behaviour.

-During the next 3 years Klarion sneaked into the Farm where the familiars are kept to talk to Teekl. When he was 8 he helped her escape and get back to the mixed realm

-She decided to stay there instead of losing her magic because Klarion was her friend and she wouldn't be able to visit him anymore if she left for Earth. She sneaks in a lot to see him.

-Him repeatedly turning down a familiar at the choosing ceremony makes his rebellious reputation much worse (he never chooses a familiar, so he has no actual familiar when he leaves at 14)

-Charity Bleak is his mother, Beulah is his sister and Ezekiel is his step-dad like on SSOV.

- I think Charity should have been outcasted for a bit because Klarion's dad left LT for Earth. This was because 1) her husband left her (wasn't killed) and 2) he was a rebel (she couldn't keep him in line). She worked very hard to get back into the good graces of LT and is desperate to keep herself there. Klarion's rebellious nature reminds her of his dad AND could potentially take away all the hard work she put into fitting into LT again. She paints all his Problems tm as him being his father's son and never defends him, even agreeing with other people's negative opinions of Klarion so she fits in.

-Beulah follows along with Charity because she fits in easily and because she remembers how bad it was to be outcasted by LT.

-Neither Beulah nor Charity can understand why Klarion chooses to outcast himself

-Ezekiel is just kind of There tm i don't have any thoughts ab him so far.

#dc #klarion the witch boy #teekl #beulah bleak #charity bleak #new 52 klarion #klarion bleak #dc comics #my post

[talaok]

People

this is whatever background I imagined:

Joel met the reader a while ago and now they do illegal shit together to get by, but some shit goes down on one of your runs out of the qz (i know this makes no sense I just wanted to write some sad shit ok)

warnings: angst but kinda happy ending

a/n: I'm not sure if posting this is a good idea, it feels very pathetic and personal, but here we are lol.

"I can't do it anymore Joel" you stared at your feet, your ruined shoes stained with the miles walked, with the things seen, with the people lost.

"I just can't"

"y/n-" he murmured, swinging the rifle onto his back and walking up to sit beside you.

"I know " you swallowed thickly "I know that you're gonna say that it gets better and that we will get away and that everything will be fine" you stumbled over your own words, still not looking at him "but what if it isn't?" your lip was trembling "what if it's not gonna be ok?" you said, "what if this is it?" you felt your eyes watering "what if this is all its ever going to be? just me and you risking our lives every day and for what?" you sighed "for a fucking battery?" you chuckled "for some pills?"

The wind howled outside, the wavering door creaking.

"I'm tired" your voice was trembling "I'm tired Joel" you gulped "this " you waved around the room, the dirty, musty room, you had found wandering outside of the qz "this isn't life Joel" you sniffled "this is a fucking limbo" you breathed out "this is- this is a trap, a - a cruel joke" you laughed bitterly, "we think we're the lucky ones, but I'm not so sure anymore," you said "maybe they were" you glanced at the not so distant corpse of an infected " at least they didn't have to see this," you dropped your head again "live this" you passed a hand through your hair "over and over again like it's fucking normal, like everything is ok"

A tear spilled from your eyes, and you raised your chin, looking up at him.

"Everything is not ok" you cried now "it's been years since everything was even remotely ok and I'm tired of people acting like this isn't crazy"

you gasped for air "look around Joel" you glanced around the room "Is this what you dreamed of when you were a kid?" you asked " When you were ten years old did you dream of one day having to hide in an abandoned building that doesn't even have a fucking piece of roof because fucking zombies were roaming outside? " you asked again "is this what you wanted?" he didn't move, not a single change in his worried, and yet stoic expression "because it isn't what I wanted" you murmured "I wanted to be a writer" you smiled sadly, thinking back at it "I wanted to write novels that touched people, I wanted to make people laugh, and cry and roll their eyes at stupid little words I had written on the pages"

"I didn't want this" you tried to hold back the sob creeping up your throat "I wanted to live"

"I spent so much time waiting for the right moment to start doing it, to start living, and I don't even know if I ever would have," you said sincerely "but I sure would have liked the chance,the possibility at least, instead of this"

"This prison" another tear down your cheek "instead of this shit" you huffed, dropping your hands to your knees.

"I'm sorry" he finally spoke "you're right," he said "I don't know that everything is gonna be fine, and yes, this is not normal, nothing about this is normal" he sighed looking around "but it's dangerous to think about it too much" his eyes were burning into yours "You can't just- you can't rationalize everything, not this at least" he said "you just have to accept it"

"how?"

"I don't know"

Your tired eyes fully took in his, still so strong, so sure, after everything still him.

"aren't you tired?" you asked but he didn't answer "Not of this " you signed at the room "of everything " you explained

"Sometimes" he answered

"and what do you do when you are?"

"I remember there are still some things worth living for"

"like?"

"Like the sunlight," he said "like the fresh air outside the qz" he paused a moment, looking hesitant "like people"

"people?" you raised an eyebrow, sniffling

"yes " he put an arm around you, bringing you into his chest "certain people"

You reached your arms around his torso, hugging him tightly "people" you whispered to yourself,

maybe that's all you needed after all,

just people,

certain people.

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller angst #joel miller fic #the last of us #angst #the last of us fanfiction #joel miller fanfiction #pedro pascal

[voted4exile]

understanding, not forgiveness

/dsmp rp

The biggest misconception about Tommy’s Last Stream is that c!Tommy forgave c!Dream. This never happened!

From the moment he steps into the main cell, c!Tommy does everything to keep both c!Dream and c!Punz from leaving. From challenging the two, to taunting c!Dream, to questioning his motives, to asking for his perspective of the server, c!Tommy tries many things. It’s clear that he’s not really interested or listening to what c!Dream or c!Punz has to say. All he cares about is stalling for c!Tubbo.

Tommy: K. I’ve muted. I just need to stall. I just need to stall them. [19:09]

Tommy: What do I say? Just to keep him here. What would keep him here? What would keep them here? Um… [19:58]

Tommy: Come on, Tubbo, faster, Tubbo. [25:40]

Tommy: Come on, Tubbo, come on, Tubbo, come on, Tubbo. [28:38]

After the last time he quietly calls for c!Tubbo, c!Dream goes on about how he was pushed to hit back, how he did evil things, and how c!Tommy could have been stuck in limbo forever. But c!Dream has the means to bring people back, and he doesn’t want life to be temporary.

That’s when c!Tommy chooses to discard items in the lava to put his armor away. He faces c!Dream and apologizes.

Tommy: You know what, Dream? I’m sorry. Because you’re right. Maybe you were having more fun. Maybe you were happy before I joined. But you can’t control who comes in and out. And- And- You know, you can have all these little areas, and that’s fun, but we’re all in this Dream SMP together. But you spent your entire life trying to get power, and before this revive book, you were the same alright. Before you had this power that you’ve always craved and you’ve got now, alright. You were the same old. I just don’t know how you can live with yourself. [30:25]

This apology might be genuine or it might be another tactic to stall. Just two minutes ago he was asking for c!Tubbo to hurry, so it’s more likely that he is saying whatever he can.

Not too long after, c!Dream kills c!Tommy, sending him to limbo. c!Tommy witnesses c!Dream’s first moments on the Dream SMP. When he is revived, he comes back, reeling from the pain. But once he gathers his bearings, he tells c!Dream about the vision he had. A vision of a happier c!Dream with c!George and c!Sapnap, living a simple life. c!Tommy realizes c!Dream wasn’t always evil and that what he really wants is something simple.

Dream: Well, we can go- We can get back- back to that. Once we understand the server, once we understand how life works and everything, then we- everyone will be- Y’know, they’ll be…

Tommy: That’s why you’re doing this, isn’t it? You just want it to be simple. *scoffs* Dream. I thought you were complicated. I thought- God, I thought you were a villain, Dream. I thought you were. [38:32]

This isn’t c!Tommy forgiving him, and c!Tommy is not saying c!Dream is innocent. He makes it clear that what c!Dream is doing is still wrong.

Tommy: I’m saying I think I understand you. And I don’t- I don’t think we’ve ever had a moment, since I joined, of being on the same side, the same page. But Dream. That’s okay. But this? Your way of doing this, of having to kill everyone else? That’s- You- That’s not right. This. This! A fucking torture trap! A Saw trap! Where one person has to survive? That’s not okay. But this, Dream. This- What you have inside you? You just want friends. Aw, me too, man. I get that. I get that! [40:26]

c!Tommy is being genuine when he says he understands c!Dream. It’s no longer about stalling. Unlike before, he has stopped calling for c!Tubbo to hurry up. He’s actively listening to c!Dream. He even tells c!Dream to “Speak up” when c!Punz talks over him. Most importantly, he actually asks c!Dream to call off the plan so they can leave the prison. 

Tommy: It’s not too late, man. You don’t need this. This life of prison, of killing, of torture, you could- You can stop this now. And we can leave this prison. [42:08]

This moment best supports that c!Tommy is being genuine. He is offering c!Dream an exit from both his plan and the prison itself. It’s no longer about keeping c!Dream in the targeted nuke zone.

Dream: Why can’t it just be simple again? Why can’t it just be like that forever? We can live forever, and we can- everyone can be… friends. And… I feel like it just- everything got- just so jumbled.

Tommy: Along the way... I’m with you, man. I’m with you.

Dream: Is it not too late? We can work together, and we can figure out-

Tommy: *hears sirens* Oh no. [43:25]

Unfortunately, the two have reached an understanding far too late. The nuke is about to hit, and c!Tommy apologizes. 

Tommy: I’m sorry.

Dream: You’re sorry for what? You’re sorry for what, Tommy?! Punz, I think we need to get out of here.

Punz: Yeah, yeah. We- We gotta- We gotta fucking go. We have to fucking go.

Tommy: Guys. It’s too late. It’s the whole prison. I just- I didn’t-

Punz: You’re fucking lying.

Tommy: I didn’t know. [44:50]

c!Tommy is sorry because it’s too late for them to escape the nuke that he had c!Tubbo launch. He didn’t know there was another option, that he and c!Dream could actually come to an understanding. 

Not once does c!Tommy forgive c!Dream for what he has done. Understanding is not forgiveness. This wasn’t redemption either. What c!Tommy was offering c!Dream was an opportunity to make things right. But it was far too late.

#dream smp #dsmp #c!tommy #c!dream #tommyinnit #dreamwastaken #dsmp finale #discduo #c!discduo #disc duo #my posts #analysis #this has been said multiple times before #but I wanted to break it down and share supporting quotes #and apparently dream himself has spoken #confirming it was only understanding #I wrote this all last night #so I'm posting it anyway