#like. he fucking made the virus. he brought it here. and trying to stop it might kill him in the process

[nvoirs]

Disclaimers: Cowgirl, missionary, !F recieving, public sex basically, !F gets ate out.

It had been almost a week since you and Leon had rescued Ashley from the psychotic cult, los illuminados, in rural Spain.

You both had made it back in one piece, even if you were both infected by the las plagas virus at some point during your journey through spain.

The president was absolutely delighted to know that the two of you had secured his daughter safely and brought her back home. In honour of doing so he had arranged a large fancy dinner party celebrating the both of yours accomplishments.

You were very appreciative you'll admit that but you weren't really a party person even if this was a formal one where of course everyone will behave.

Being a introverted person that kept to yourself you'd say you we're the complete opposite of Mr Kennedy here. He loved the attention, and his humour made people like him even more so.

Ever since he'd lent you his jacket back before you came home because it was super cold that night, you've been thinking about him. His jacket was still slung over your shoulders when he told you he could keep it. But you tried to protest, trying to explain to him that you had plenty of jackets to wear. He said he didn't want to hear it, and that it could also serve as a reminder of what you and him had been through. Thinking about that, you we're very sure that you did not want anything to remind you of that horrible place.

But it was leon. You'd admit you had feelings for him, and they had blossomed more during your mission in spain. You had no idea if he felt the same, because he flirts with everyone no different, just the same.

So when you had come to this supposed dinner party you had decided, you were going to wear his jacket and see if it elicited any reactions in him. You topped it on top of your dress that you wore, as you walked to your assigned sit next to him.

Leon's glance was indeed glued to you, or most likely his jacket. Oh, he did not expect that. It was kind of turning him on which wasn't a good sign being in public and all. His thoughts errupted his wants to stop this, and he imagined images of you underneath his figure. Wearing only his jacket, and getting absolutely wrecked by him.

"Please.. fuck me harder, i want it!" Your dreamself in leon's mind cried out.

leon however was snapped out of his refreshing dream of you when you excused yourself to use the restroom. Now was his chance. His chance to ask you privately if you felt the same as he did.

A few minutes after you had disappeared through the foyer trecking to the restroom. Leon also excused himself and decided to wait outside in the foyer for you.

When you came out from the restroom, you nearly tripped and fell from the shock you had from leon standing there.

"Fuck! Leon! What we're you doing?" You held your chest, hearing the thumping of your heart.

"I'm just stood here, what on earth do you mean?" Leon grinned, leaning his hand against the wall you stood you're ground on.

"I mean why are you here? Shouldn't you be entertaining the president or something?" You sighed pinching your nose, to be honest you were getting a little hot and bothered that he was so close to your face. The rapid beating of your little lovesick heart proved evidence for this.

"Yeah you're right I guess, but why're you wearing my jacket hm?" smirking, leon looked at your face that contorted in embarassment. Cute.

"Are you just being stupid or do you actually have amnesia? You told me to keep it" you shot back.

"That's right.. most people wouldn't wear it to a fancy place like this though.." he trailed of. He wanted to ask you, he wanted to ask you if you liked him. No, if you loved him.

"I'm just wearing it to cover my shoulders, c'mon leon stop being a douche and get back there" you gestured to the party down past the foyer.

"Kinda wanna see you in that jacket.. on it's own"

He finished looking into your eyes searching for any discomfort, anything that would make him put a stop to this all.

Your cheeks were dusted pink, you were flattered. You thought that maybe leon returned your passionate feeling towards him. You wanted to try something.

You yanked him by the belt forcefully, and collided your lips against his. He began to encourage the kiss. His right hand cupped your small face deepening the kiss, while his left slithered around your waist hugging it tightly.

Kisses in sync, it felt light and airy. But then it became something far darker and more lustful.

You pulled back, inhaling deeply. You'd done it, you kissed him first. You stared at him, but as your glance got lower you saw something quite.. humorous.

His hard on was streching against the fabric of his dress pants. You giggled, putting your hands on your hips.

"Oh? What's that there Mr Kennedy"

"Not quite sure myself, better fix it soon you brat" he looked at you with a venomous gaze.

Oh it's on. You grabbed leon by the arm making sure nobody saw the pair of you, entering the lavish restroom, probably the cleanest you'd ever seen, tugging him along to the very end stall which happened to be the most spacious, perfect for the lewd things you had planned.

"What are you-" you shushed leon, forcing him to sit on the ground, undoing his belt rapidly. You threw his belt to the ground, you could feel your panties becoming wet your clit ached for some contact.

"Strip." You commanded leon, pulling at his shirt.

"Sorry, but following a women's lead just isn't-" you sat directly on his lap, right on where he needed you most.

"Well this women isn't going to help you with your little problem then, is she?" You moved around slightly, causing leon to groan grabbing your hips to still you.

"Fuck, didn't know you'd be such a whore" leon pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it aside.

"Oh leon, I'm a lot more then that." Trailing your small hands across his broad back and chest. finding a precious spot on his neck you closed in and began to give him the love he deserved. You bit into his skin, sucking on it lightly swirling your tongue before pulling back.

The love bite stood out, telling all that he was yours and only yours. He moaned deeply, extremely turning you on.

"Fuck, I wanna touch you to baby" leon tugged at your dress. You admired the artwork of angry red hickeys you'd blossomed onto his rough skin.

"You wanna touch me hm?" You stood up, your hands squeezing his shoulders teasingly.

"Fuck yeah, sit on my face now." He demanded. It made you light hearted and giddy knowing that he was finally yours for the taking.

You hitched up your dress, brandishing the cute little thong you were wearing.

"You were wearing that this whole time? You knew this was gonna happen hm?" Leon smirked at your proud form.

"Well i wasn't entirely sure Kennedy, but i'm glad it worked out" sighing in relief once you slid of the thong, your wet as fuck pussy being exposed to the crisp air.

"C'mere" leon grabbed you by the butt, squeezing it in the process. He leaned against the wall, as you lowered your pussy onto his lovestruck face. You felt his nose poking you and you moaned, you started gyrating your hips against his pretty face. "Ohh leon yes!" You whined, but gasped when he grabbed you stopping you from moving anymore stopping your build up.

"Not so fast baby, your doing all the work" he planted your pussy back onto his face, and you let him get to work. His tongue worked wonders, as he licked stripes up and down your pussy folds. He sucked on your clit, the lewd slurping noises adding to the intensity. You let out a high pitched moan. "yeah i wanna here you cry like that, say my name baby"

He was devouring your cunt, making you lose all the sanity you had built up. You grabbed his golden hair, gripping at the roots. He began to rub your clit in fast little circles, quadrupling the pleasure instantly. Arching your back upwards, you cried out as you felt your climax approaching rapidly.

"Ah fuck leon! I'm gonna-"

Before you could finish you came gushing all over his face, but he continued to lick it up like icing on a cake. you gasped, become overstimulated extremely fast you were already approaching your second orgasm when he pulled away.

"What the fuck? why'd you stop" you hissed from the loss of contact.

"You can't cum again unless you help me with my little problem" chuckling he beckoned you over to his lap.

Swaying your hips slightly you sauntered your way over to him, plopping yourself straight onto his hard on. you felt it poking you, it was rock hard by now pretty painful to your guessing.

"What can I do to make you feel better Mr Kennedy?" smirking, you brushed his wild strands of hair out of his pretty face.

"I want you to fucking ride me right here right now" he groaned, feeling the weight of your bare pussy on his cock.

"I didn't know you were into cowgirls" you purred, you got of of him and began to pull down his underwear. his cock sprung free, and you looked at its oh so delicious tip. it was completely covered in his precum, the tip a blushed colour that had you humming with satisfaction.

"Now let your cowgirl ride you." you grinned, lowering your ass as your pussy came in contact with his cock. you slowly slid down on him, making him groan.

"Fuck your so tight, god damn" he could feel you wrapped around him, squeezing onto him for dear life. he pulled the top of your dress down, exposing your tits as you moved up and down in fast little motions.

"Fuck no bra either?" he moaned, licking his lips before grabbing one of your breasts licking and kissing the delicate bud. to far gone into the pleasure his cock was giving you, you struggled to respond your chest heaving up and down. the wet noises that your cunt made as you bounced on his cock were music to his ears. heavenly he could say, grabbing your other nipple and twiddling it with his rough padded thumb.

He admired you struggling to take his cock, the cute little bump his cock made indenting your stomach. "ah leon.. you feel so.. so good!" you managed to cry out. this made leon snap, grabbing you by the hips he began slamming you up and down. Up and down his cock making you squeal and mewl begging for more. you were his own personal toy, his little cocksleeve he could use whenever he god damn well pleased.

"Yeh, you like that you slut?" Leon could tell you were close to releasing, removing one hand of the bruising grip of your hips he spanked your ass it slowly changing to a bright ruddy red. it stung but pleasure coursed through your whole body while he gave you the most exquisite pounding of your life.

You released all over Leon's stomach, the opaque liquid glistening. "shit, that was hot" he flipped you in reverse, so he was on top. pinning you to the cool tiles, he started to drill into you. he chuckled when he saw your euphoric face, babbling you managed to speak up. "gosh I love you, I really do!" face tinged pink from this 'workout' you started leaving thin scratch marks across Leon's back.

"What was that angel? I didn't hear you"

"I said I love you!" you practically yelled it, Leon clamped a big hand over your mouth. didn't want the whole fucking world knowing you guys were fucking in the restroom next door.

"Your my favourite.. you know that?" Leon questioned you, his hips beginning to slow and stutter.

"M-mine to!"

"I'm your favourite to?" staring at you nodding fast, he let out a guttural groan before releasing deep inside you.

Collapsing in your hold, he hugged your form.

"That was the best I've ever had" you sighed, embracing him back.

"The best sex? Oh sweetheart there's so much more I could do." Still inside of you, Leon pecked your cheek.

"Did you really mean that you love me?" His serious face made you laugh.

"Leon! Of course I've liked you for the longest time.. but I didn't know how to say" he stroked your hair, finally pulling out of you.

"Well that makes two of us.. and I love you to" his warm skin contacted with yours making you feel at home.

"So why don't we get the hell out of here, make an excuse that your sick or something" you suggested.

"Great plan.. your gonna be the sick one though, got to be the gentleman you know?" he winked, you returned a gleeful smile holding him dearly close.

#leon kennedy #leon kennedy smut #resident evil #resident evil smut #leon scott kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy #leon s kennedy x you #re x reader #resident evil 4 #re4make #re4 leon #re4 leon smut

[kennedyslvr]

Thank you for doing the lords work and writing male/gn x reader stuff!!! U are a saviour! Would it be possible for a story where reader got turned into a BOW by umbrella and leon finds him and wants to save him but has to deal with the hard decision of how? Taking him to the DSO or the BSAA would end with reader getting killed or turned into a weapon or something like that?

warnings: m.reader, angst, reader death, rlly sad im srry

word count: 1.5k

note: sorry this took so long! i rlly hope this does your request justice anon ◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜

—

you and leon have been together since the raccoon city incident, fighting side by side against any evil that came your way. he cared for you more than he cared about himself, always checking on you when your on missions with him, keeping you close to his body in dangerous situations, and always throwing himself into danger for you. he would sacrifice himself for you quicker than a blink, you just meant that much to him.

but you had gotten kidnapped about a month ago.

he couldn’t focus properly on anything but you, he was going to kill the fuckers that took you. how dare they take the light of his life?

“listen condor one, i know that you’re still thinking about him right now, but you are going to get yourself killed if you do anything rash.” leon sighed into his gloved palms, “i’ll be fine, i’m going to find him here. i know it, condor one out.” “wait leon-“ he quickly ended the conversation, he didn’t need to be scolded for his actions. he knew what he was doing, he was going to find you and bring you back home. back to him, or he was going to die trying. while he was checking his surroundings he saw footprints in the mud, they were your footprints. of course he knew what they look like, he knows everything about you.

he quickly followed to footprints, his handy pistol still in his hands as he looked around to where the prints had stopped. he could feel his anger rising, practically steaming from his ears, umbrella headquarters. the same company that released a virus that cause his home to be obliterated, the same company that turned humans into horrible monsters— no. not you, they couldn’t do that to you.

his brain was filled with nothing but rage as he shot his way through the building, killing soldiers, killing nurses and researchers. he had to get to you, you were the only thing on his mind.

T-2674, that was your cell number, or what they referred to you as. “baby? baby, are you in there? can you hear me?” he pounded on the glass to your cell, it was pitch black on the inside, but he knew you were still in there, he could smell the fear coming off of you. “fuck!” he brought his hands to his hair before noticing a cowering scientist in the corner, he stared at leon with fear in his eyes. he knew what leon was capable of, he didn’t want to get hurt or even killed. “you. come here, now.” the scientist quickly stood up on wobbly knees and quickly made his way over to where leon was standing, “open it.” the man twisted his neck to look at leon, he looked frightened about what was in the cell. “a-are you crazy!? do you know what creature is in there?! it will kill us if i let it out…” he trailed off seeing the murderous look in leon’s eyes, the veins on his neck and hands twitching in anger.

the scientist quickly got to opening the cell, leon felt happy in this moment. he was going to see you again, he was going to be able to hold you, kiss you, and tell you everything was okay. his thoughts were interrupted but the scientist running away screaming, what the hell is his problem? “baby, are you alright-“ he froze, mouth suddenly dry, he thought he was going to throw up. you slowly limped out of your cell, your skin was stretched uncomfortably around the large frame they forced onto you, your gums and teeth were exposed with no lips to cover them, you’re eyes were sunken with no hints of light in them.

your body was trembling, everything on your body was in pain. everything was so stretched and aching all over, your vision was blurry as if you needed glasses, all you could make out was the silhouette of a man. the smell of him was comforting to you, you took a step forward to huff in that comforting scent. “baby, is…is that you…?” you perked up instantly, you brought your hands up to feel for your lover. “…l…eon….” you forced out through your dry and tight throat, all the experiments they did to you rendered you almost unable to speak. leon wrapped himself in your cold embrace, you stood there unmoving, he was the most warmth you’ve felt in your months away from your love. memories started to flood your head of what they did to you, cutting off chunks of skin, snapping your bones into places they wanted them to be, injecting you with god knows what. you knew what you were now, you were a monster. an abomination. you and leon knew you couldn't live past today, your brain would be taken over by a parasite that causes you to kill everything in sight.

leon took a step back looking up into your eyes, his normal cool and calm demeanor was replaced with a soul crushing sorrow, he new that he we either have to give you up to DSO where they would promptly kill you on sight, or hand you over to the BSAA where you would be turned into a weapon of mass destruction. this was a lose lose situation, and both you and him knew it.

“i don’t know what to do, i’m fucking stuck.” leon collapsed to the floor with his head in his hands, your stomach turned in pain. you felt like absolute shit, if only you hadn’t been so reckless you could’ve stayed with leon longer, you could properly tell him how much you loved him, you could’ve held him in your arms to comfort him in this moment. your brain felt cloudy and buzzy, everything on you felt inflamed, you let out a monsterous groan before clutching your head in agony.

“sit down baby, i’ve got you. i promise.” you collapsed onto the floor with your back hitting a wall, leon stood over you, his gloved hands covering your eyes. “if only i found you sooner, i’m so sorry baby. but….we both know how this ends.” you melted into his touch, everything was okay if leon was with you, everything was okay when leon touched you, you knew you would be safe with leon even in your final hours. “stay right here, handsome. i have to make a call.” he patted your cheek before quickly walking to the next room, his hands shook as he radioed in hunnigan. “hunnigan, what’s the best way to kill a bioweapon?” there was a short silence before hunnigan said something, “you would need the DSO to collect the bioweapon to exterminate it properly, they’re the only ones who know how to properly kill one from my knowledge.” leon chewed on his lip in frustration, “thanks, condor one, out.” “wait why did you-“ he cut her off again, he didn’t have time to waste answering stupid questions, he had to spend as much time with you before you were gone.

“baby, you know what i had to do, right?” you looked up at leon with a knowing look, you knew you were going to die by the end of the day. leon had pinged his location to the DSO for a bioweapon threat, he thought about not even telling where you were. he was planning to run away with you and live as long as he could with you, he knew you would eventually kill him, tear him limb from limb if that what the parasite told you to do.

“…c…cold…” you whined out softly, leon hovered over you, bringing your head into his stomach with his arms around your head. warm, this was nice. you were finally warm, all thanks to leon. “i love you so much sweetheart, i’m sorry you had to go through this. i can’t imagine how scared you were, how much pain you were in. i’m so sorry, sweetheart.” leon leaned down to kiss you on the crown of your head, you wish you could die like this. in leon’s warm embrace as you drifted off into an internal slumber, but you knew it would never work like that. the sound of soldiers in heavy gear rang through your ears, you looked up at leon with wide eyes. he had been crying, his eyes, nose, and cheeks were red with sadness, his bottom lip bruised from the way he bit on it.

you knew they were coming to take you away, you gave leon a gentle squeeze. “…lo…love…y…you…” the agents pulled leon away from you thinking he was in some type of danger, leon let out a choked sob as they injected you with a substance that would kill the parasite and inevitably, you. leon watched as your body writhed on the floor, his ears ringing from your high pitched screams of pain. he was trying to get to you again, wanting to hold you one last time, but the soldiers held him back from getting too close. your body finally stopped moving after what felt like hours, leon was grabbing at his hair in anger and grief, you were the light of his life yet he couldn’t protect you.

leon was the only one that stayed in the room as everyone else evacuated, he stared at your body with eyes filled with love, you were still so beautiful to him, even in death.

“i love you, y/n. i’ll see you soon.”

#leon kennedy #resident evil #leon kennedy x male reader #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #leon x reader #leon s kennedy x male reader #leon kennedy angst #leon s kennedy angst #kennedyslvr #angst

[lixiektty]

old friend — a jake sim 20th birthday special, coming soon

๛ word count: 600 (not sure how much for the full fic yet, probably less that 10k)

๛ warnings/kinks: dom!jake, sub!reader, idol!jake, language, time skips, friends to lovers, mentions of alcohol, fiction writing, unprotected sex, oral (f. and m. receiving), fingering, degradation, praise, creampie, breast play, please feel free to let me know if i miss anything!!

๛ author's note: i've always wanted to try writing this scenario especially with jake and hyunjin, it wasn't even until last week where i was like "i have to do this" and here i am writing this on the 9th and deciding to make it a birthday special for my baby daddy.

๛ summary: two year trainee, jake sim, finally made his debut as a soloist and has made it big— leading to a headlining world tour only a year after debut. when coming into the states after his shows in korea, he visits with an old high school friend only to be reminded of how much he as in love with her like he was when he was 17. if only he knew what she hid on her laptop.

๛ taglist: open | closed

"shit," jake cursed under his breath.

his phone hadn't been receiving emails for the last two days, and it was starting to freak him out. he feared if there had been anything sent to him, it would need to be responded to within a certain period.

thank god he was here with you, and you had a computer. he was sure of it, "angel," he called out.

"yes?" you reply, picking up a folded blanket laying underneath your table to drape onto yourself.

"could i use your computer? my phone's trippin' balls and i can't get to any of my emails," he asked, standing up and walking over to the couch so he could see your face.

"yeah, go for it. it should be sitting on my bed," you said, stretching your body along the couch and turning your attention back to the movie you watched.

"you're the best," jake turned to go into your bed room, laptop on your bed just as you said— slightly open with the light beaming brightly from the inside.

he walked over to your bed and kicked his feet up, just like he was at his own home. he considered it his and so did you, and that's what brought you closer again. being around each other like roommates, you only wished it'd last longer.

it would only take about five minutes to check his emails and reply to the important ones, but once he had that laptop open he was introduced to many things.

a certain open tab on your window caught his eye, only being able to read a name. his name. so being the curious bastard he was, he clicked on it reading every word written on the page. his brain was filled with many thoughts, not fully sure if he should react right now.

it was a shock. why was this on your computer, and was the sinful imagines, the literal porn in word form, your doing? something brought jake to his feet, eyes focused on every line even scrolling down to read more.

all this time, jake thought you had forgotten about him and found someone else to be interested in since he had abandoned you to purse his dream. he never slept with, thought about, or looked at another girl ever since he left. and here you were thinking about him in ways only someone extremely dirty would think.

jake was out the door before he knew it, still reading the fiction but soon coming to a stop, looking up and seeing your resting form on the couch.

you had been so distracted you hadn't heard jake open the door behind you. "y/n," jake said softly, coming from out of your room further, computer in hand, "what the fuck is this?"

you sat up and turned back towards him, not sure of what he could be talking about. you got up onto your feet and walked his way. you could've thought it was just a virus suddenly appearing once jake using your laptop with the way he was staring at the screen— no.

it was so much worse than that. the second the screen was turned your way, your eyes got big and your heart instantly sank. there was no way.

"have you been writing about me?!"

#enhypen smut #enhypen imagines #enha smut #enha imagines #jake smut #jake imagines #jake sim smut #jake sim imagines #kpop smut #kpop imagines #smut #imagine #imagines

[payeehay]

In short, going into the unfinished portal had been a bad idea.

Danny thinks he's dead, now? He can't be sure, but he has no other way to explain the way that when his friends had brought him over to the mirror after he stumbled out of the glowing green expanse, there was nothing but a cottonball of white hair and a literal skull grinning grotesquely back at him.

Putting a shaky hand to his face, he'd realized that there was flesh there, it was just... invisible.

And so, one mental breakdown, an outfit change, a hairdye job, and an hour in front of sam's makeup mirror later, he was looking normal enough to go to school the next day.

Before they had left her house, she had warned him that only some of his makeup was waterproof, told him not to sweat too much, or to get it wet.

Which made his current situation a problem.

Dash steered him roughly out of the locker room toward the bathroom stalls, Kwan and Tony blocking his hopes of escape.

Fuck. He couldn't let them get his face wet.

"Hey! Why don't you hit me? You like hitting me, right?" he tried.

Dash grinned. "Good idea!" He stopped long enough to sock Danny in the stomach, before shoving him into the stall.

He struggled, but wasn't able to stop Dash from shoving his face right in the toilet.

30 seconds later, he was coughing and rubbing at his eyes while the jocks laughed.

Until they stopped laughing, one by one, peering closely at Danny. "Hey Fenton, what's wrong with your face?" Kwan asked.

Double fuck. He glanced down at his gloved hands, saw the watery foundation smeared across them. "Uh," he schooled his face, or however much was left of it, "Nothing. What's wrong with your face?"

Dash squinted at him. "No, it's- are you wearing makeup?"

"No," Danny scoffed. "I'm a guy, remember?"

"He is!" Tony exclaimed, pulling him out of the stall and into the lights.

Danny caught himself in one of the mirrors and froze. His skin looked translucent, blotches of white and black showing through.

He tried to run, was caught by the arms by Kwan and Tony, and put up a token struggle, already knowing they had him held fast.

He struggled in earnest when he saw Dash coming at him with a wet paper towel.

"No! You don't want to-"

Dash ran it down his cheek, and Danny froze as dash's brows scrunched together. "What the fuck?" he asked curiously.

Another couple of strokes, and Danny could see bone, teeth, dark hollows in the mirror. Dash looked legitimately unnerved. "What the fuck, Fenton??" he asked again. "Where's your skin??"

Danny thought quickly. "Flesh-eating virus. It's contagious, by the way."

The three football players glanced at each other. "No..." Dash disagreed. "Something weird's going on here." He experimentally poked Danny's face, right where he'd wiped it clean, and both boys cringed. "I'll ask one more time, Fenton," he said, trying to sound intimidating. "What the fuck?"

Danny stared him down, studying him. Finally, he sighed. There was no good answer to this. "I don't know, okay? Something weird happened last night and I'm trying to hide it until I can at least figure out what the hell it was, so can I please go get my makeup and fix... this??" he asked, gesturing at his face. He gave another pull on his arms, and Kwan let go, soon followed by Tony.

Danny almost turned and ran right then, but Kwan asked, voice barely above a whisper, "Are you dead??"

Danny groaned. "I don't know! Can I please go now?"

The jocks glanced at each other again, and Dash looked almost scared. "You're a freak, Fenturd." He pushed past Danny and out toward the lockers, turned, pointed back at him. "Keep your freak shit away from me." Kwan and Tony nodded and followed him, leaving Danny gratefully alone.

When his classmates teased him the next day for wearing makeup, he could only thank whatever gods may be out there that that was all they were saying about him.

#danny phantom #danny fenton #dash baxter #kwan #my writing #my dumb posts #if i had a nickel for every time I've written about danny wearing makeup I'd have two nickels #which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice

[mourntheantagonist]

Trigonometry

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

warning: explicit. check ao3 for detailed tag list.

read on ao3

It felt like she was a ghost outside of her own body. She had been operating off of pure autopilot, walking through the halls from class to class on mere muscle memory, clutching her books to her chest like a shield because for some reason touch was the only one of her five senses she still felt like she had control over.

She was angry, sad, confused and numb all at the same time, and it was all so overwhelming she let herself shut down immediately. She’d fallen asleep instantly that night when she got home, crying herself into a better dream, waking up in the morning with red and crusty eyes and a tear-stained pillowcase. She had an emptiness in her stomach that she first noticed when she realized Steve wouldn’t be picking her up in the morning—no burgundy BMW honking at her outside her window.

There was no Steve at her locker, waiting to commit to their daily public display of affection. There was no Steve at the lunch table they always sat at together. There was no Steve sitting right beside her in history. He was just a ghost she could see lurking in the shadows, walking the halls with his head down, eating lunch in his car, picking the seat in the back corner of the class so she didn’t have to look at him.

She could almost respect him for that, and she might have even felt sorry for him if she wasn’t so angry.

She was angry with Steve. Livid.

But for some reason, seeing him walk the halls didn’t bring the same fire in her chest that seeing Billy Hargrove walk into the bathrooms after school had. She stood there, sliding her physics textbook into her locker, staring at that stupid fucking mulleted homewrecker with squinted eyes and a tight jaw.

He was a virus. He had infected Steve with something. He had to’ve.

Something had come over her, whether it was the anger or the confusion or the numbness or even the sadness that had been her driving force, something had made her feet pick up pace with heavy steps toward the door labeled “boys” like it was some ‘keep out’ sign against her. It didn’t stop her hand from pushing that door wide open.

She shielded her eyes immediately upon entrance, seeing more than just Billy with his fly open at the urinals.

“You’re not allowed in here!” Exclaimed one of the boys who had frantically begun zipping himself up.

Nancy just closed her eyes and stood her ground, her jaw clenched, suddenly sure of the emotion that had driven her into the boys bathroom—pure rage.

“Everyone out!” she shouted, her voice was powerful, echoing, and demanding enough that she quickly heard multiple sets of feet begin to shuffle against the tile floor, flushing toilets and flowing faucets. “Now!”

“Can’t I at least wash my hands first?” that same guy from before asked.

Nancy needed them all out. She could feel her own heels digging into the soles of her shoes trying to break through to the floor. “I said now!”

“Jesus Wheeler, who pissed in your cereal this morning?” It was Billy’s voice that time, right next to her ear and not five feet away from her like he had been when she first walked in. Her eyes shot back open, praying to herself that she wouldn’t see anyone with their pants down, and quickly brought a hand up to block the door, palm making contact with Billy’s chest.

“Not you.” she said, narrowing her eyes at him, trying to see if she could summon some kind of power to kill the man with just her gaze alone. “You stay here.”

Nancy gave him a small push, one that she should have known would just be asking for trouble. She may have only known the guy for roughly three weeks, but she could tell just by looking at him, knowing the way he walked around and pressed his gas pedal too hard, that he was volatile.

Even so, she pushed him anyway. She shoved him like he was smaller than her, like he had no power over her, like she wasn’t scared of him, because at that moment, she wasn’t. She was just angry, with clouded eyes and clouded judgement.

She was surprised to see that Billy listened, backing up, away from her touch and away from the exit door, but she didn’t let it show. She just moved her hand out of the way and let the rest of the bathroom's occupants escape. The boys all scurried out like mice, because one thing was for sure, everyone in Hawkins knew to fear the wrath of Nancy Wheeler. Everyone except Billy apparently.

Billy stood with his back against the wall, leaning casually, picking a cigarette and zippo from his lapel pocket. He clearly hadn’t been afraid of her either.

The moment the last of the guys had walked out and she had ensured they weren’t standing with their ears pressed against the door, she marched towards Billy, stomping heavily with an intensity and confidence on her face that would make one think she was ten feet tall. Aside from Billy, who was not so tall himself, who lit up his cigarette and pointed his eyes down at her as she came to stand just inches away from him. Nancy watched closely as his cheeks sunk in as he took a tight pull, his chest pumping out before he released the smoke directly into her face with a maniacal and teethy grin on his face as she coughed and waved the cloud away.

She wasn’t deterred. Not even a little bit.

“What did you do to him?!” Her voice was grating and accusing, skipping straight to the conclusion and bypassing the question, thinking it to be a simple fact that Billy Hargrove had to have done something to warrant Steve cheating on her. The Steve she had pictured in her mind wouldn’t…well…okay she could picture Steve cheating on her…maybe. But, she would never picture him cheating with Billy. Not with a guy. Surely something had to have happened. Surely Steve had been seduced, or brainwashed, hell maybe he’d even been forced and Steve was for some reason protecting him.

“What are you talking about, Wheeler?” Billy asked, taking another puff, completely unfazed by Nancy’s attempts to scare him.

So she tried harder. With stiff fingers she jabbed hard into Billy’s shoulder, like stabbing him with a knife far too dull to break the skin. It didn’t scare him, but it at least got him to react, letting out a swear and using his free hand to cover the spot where she’d touched him. “Steve!” she said, loudly and upset—upset that he’d asked as if he had no clue as to why she’d pop up in the boys bathroom to have a word with him. “What did you do to Steve?!”

She’d expected wide eyes and denial, or a wall of defense. She expected Billy to panic because she knew about his dirty little secret.

She didn’t expect him to laugh.

“That’s what this is about?” Billy asked, shaking his head and rolling his eyes, his chest movement exaggerated with each huffed laugh. “You’re upset your boyfriend figured out he can do better?”

Nancy felt her face grow hot. Her whole body grew hot actually. If she hadn’t known any better she would have assumed she’d been lit on fire. “So you knew!?” she accused. “You knew we were together and yet you came onto him?!”

Nancy had unwittingly punched Billy in the chest, not hard, just something resembling the strength of knocking on a door. But it was enough to cause Billy to push her back, with just a soft hand on her shoulder, slowly shoving her away with just an outstretched arm. It was shocking, to be quite honest. She wasn’t expecting to be the one to get so riled up. She didn’t expect Billy to be the calm one, and surely not the voice of reason.

“Don’t get it twisted princess.” Nancy found herself looking up at him, quiet, her jaw suddenly unclenched, weirdly taken in by Billy’s voice that sounded like velvet. “I might have flirted, but the thing that you’re mad about, that was all Harrington.”

Nancy just shook her head, backing all the way from Billy, the rage dissolving into something more like confusion. She paced around the small bathroom, biting her nails and looking just about everywhere but at Billy. “I don’t believe you.” it was a thought, but she had said it out loud, crossing her arms over her chest like it made her insecure. “He wouldn’t—”

“Oh but he did.” Billy said, his voice so cocky, fully enjoying every minute of their conversation. “Your little boyfriend walked into this very bathroom like a wild animal, kinda like you did, only he wasn’t interested in talking.” Billy walked closer to her, and Nancy felt a lump start growing in her throat, getting bigger the closer he got to her, the smoke from his cigarette not doing much to help her breathe better. He was standing over her again, making her feel small, and all that confidence and bravado she’d walked in with had completely vanished by then. “He pinned me up against the wall and I just let him have his way with me. I didn’t initiate a thing.” Nancy just shook her head because nothing was making sense. “His lips were real soft.” Well that made sense. “If he treats you anything like that I gotta say you’re one lucky girl, Nancy Wheeler.”

“You’re lying.” she said, quietly, under her breath like she wasn’t sure it was true herself, “Steve’s not like that. He’s not—”

“Not what? Into dudes?” Billy questioned, hitting the nail directly on the head, hammering it in with his smug little grin. “The hard-on against my thigh told me otherwise. But look at me, can you really blame him?”

Nancy just rolled her eyes at that and took Billy’s cigarette out from in between his fingers. She wasn’t really a smoker outside of those few times she did it with Steve, but standing there with Billy spouting off about all the things her boyfriend did to him, well, she could use a fucking cigarette and the special kind of calming high that the nicotine gave, that and maybe even a fucking drink. She took one puff and rather than giving it back to him, she put it out into the sink right beside them, trying her best to suppress her need to cough.

“Stay away from him.” Nancy said, her voice was hoarse, and she could tell that Billy noticed, and was surprised when he hadn’t said anything about it and her weak lungs.

He gave her a look of pity instead, and that irritated her even more. “I’m not the one you have to worry about Nancy.”

Nancy just shook her head and turned the faucet water on, drowning the cigarette completely. “Do it anyway.” she said, “If you’re not around, he won’t be tempted.”

Billy just laughed, like he actually found it funny, like the whole conversation they were having was nothing but a joke to be laughed at. “Oh princess,” he said, so condescending it made her blood boil, “I can guarantee I’m not gonna be the last boy to tickle his fancy. Who’s to say I’m even the first?”

Nancy felt her teeth grind in her mouth, so fed up with Billy treating her relationship like some toy he got to play with. She just shook her head, shaking off the words he said like they meant absolutely nothing to her even if the shaking didn’t make them go away, even if the words clung onto her like glue. No. Billy was wrong. He had to be. “Do it anyway.” she repeated, voice staccato and clear.

She wasn’t some big scary threat. She knew that. She also knew that her chances of getting Billy Hargrove to do anything out of the kindness of his heart were slim to none, but when her words hadn’t been met with any sort of pushback, well, she took that as a small victory.

Nancy walked out of the bathroom, surprised to not hear any last words out of Hargrove as one final kick in the gut, and yet, as she made her way into the empty school hallway, all of those feelings were still gnawing away at her, and worse. Billy’s words were stuck on her, playing on repeat inside her head. She tried to shake them off.

She couldn’t just shake them off.

#billy hargrove #steve harrington #harringrove #stancy #stranger things #nancy wheeler #mandi writes tresh

[nosuchthingasagruffalo]

Resolutions - Chapter 1

Kathryn patted the earth around the tomatoes, they were growing really quickly and she couldn't wait to show Chakotay she could at least grow food even if she couldn't cook it. Chakotay had been talking about building a boat and Kathryn was saving her replicator rations to replicate a swimming costume, something she hadn't thought of when they were first stranded.

"Hey, your tomatoes are looking pretty good, you know you're not allowed to touch them after we pick them right? Don't want to see them incinerated or mouldy or whatever your usual recipe is"

"Bully" Kathryn laughed and flicked a bit of soil at him, he grabbed her wrists and pretended to push her face into the soil. "I surrender, I surrender" she laughed trying to wriggle free. She was out of breath from laughing and as she looked into his eyes she saw he was not laughing and looking at her like he couldn't decide what he was going to do next. She couldn't work out who was closing in on whom but somehow she felt his breath on her cheek, smelled his aftershave and finallytheir lips crashed together and her arms wrapped around his neck. Chakotay's hands came to her cheeks and he groaned as she slipped her tongue into his mouth. His arms ran down her back and cupped her bottom, rubbing up her sides and round her waist. Chakotay could feel his heart hammering in his chest as he waited for her to stop before they went too far. Kathryn broke the kiss and smiled at him then brought her hands to his forearms and guided him as they walked towards their shelter.

Inside he laid her down on the bed and ran his hands up her legs, she moaned as he ran his hands brushed over her knickers. he slipped a finger inside and Kathryn moaned louder "take them off" she murmured as Chakotay pulled them down and found her clit. She fumbled with his trousers, pulling his erection free and spreading her legs "fuck me please" she whispered. He pushed himself inside her, never breaking their kiss, lifting her hips and thrusting deeply. Her moans increased as she felt a tingling spreading throughout her body, as she felt her blood thrust through her veins she felt Chakotay coming inside her and a whisper in her ear, very quiet and almost inaudible "I love you".

****

The boat trip was a success and Kathryn found she didn't need her swimsuit. They spotted rainbow fish and made love in their tent as the sun set on another summer day. When they got back they made plans to explore upstream next time if the weather allowed and as the summer pressed on they packed up their camping gear for their next trip. Kathryn had been under the weather recently and ran her tricorder to check to see if she had picked up a new virus in this part of their planet.

Chakotay was packing his tools in the shed when he saw Kathryn appear silently in the doorway. "We need to talk" she said "That last trip, I thought we were away for 7 days, I counted wrong when we got back and I was late taking some medicine. My contraception. It was stupid to save rations and have only me take it, I've made a huge mistake" she felt the tears welling up.

"Kathryn, are you pregnant" Chakotay tried to keep his voice steady, clearly she was more shaken about this possibility than he was. She nodded and ran from the shed. He easily caught up with her and held her "hey, I know you're scared but I think this is something you might want?" he ventured. "I don't know" she whispered as he held her close.

****

As the weeks went by Kathryn still couldn't come to a decision, on earth a child with Chakotay would be wonderful. But here on a lonely planet she couldn't face the thought of a the child living more than 40 years after her and Chakotay's deaths. Chakotay said he hoped the child would be able to eventually leave, maybe it would have immunity to the virus and could take the shuttle they had been left, seek out a friendly race and settle amongst them. Kathryn felt Chakotay's unsaid words, that to her the baby was a bundle of cells but Chakotay believed its spirit was already formed. And as the weeks passed she meant to give herself the medication to pass the foetus but found she never quite got round to it. One day she appeared to Chakotay as he was chopping wood "I felt it kick Chakotay, I don't know how we will navigate this but I guess we need to come up with names". Chakotay held himself back, not rushing to pick her up as he wanted but walking slowly and rubbing her back "this child will be so loved, we'll figure out how to get him into space and up amongst the stars", he smiled.

******

Kathryn's pregnancy passed easily, Chakotay read all the instructions on how to assist in childbirth, and as he found himself telling Kathryn to stop pushing as the baby passed from her body into its father's loving arms "hello Sophia" he smiled as he placed the girl on Kathryn's chest.

The first six months Chakotay felt like he was in heaven, he played peekaboo with Sophia and took her to show her the babbling river. He and Kathryn delighted as Sophia tasted the fresh fruit and her mother's speciality tomatoes. The lay in bed all cuddling together, "why are her eyes still so blue? I didn't know how I was carrying that gene around" Chakotay laughed. "Her dimples are definitely aaaaalll yours" Kathryn poked him in the ribs. They heard the baby cry and snuffle in her cot. "She's feeling a little warm today let me scan her" Kathryn grabbed her tricorder and scanned the baby. "hmm she seems to have an unknown virus, not the one we have. hmph I need to look into this" Kathryn frowned as she fired up the computer. Chakotay kissed the little girl's forehead and noticed the light sheen of sweat across it.

[chisatowo]

Currently having SO much robot Hajime brainrot <3

#rat rambles #talentswap au #just.... his story is so damn fun to think abt #like imagine you and a bunch of people that you eventually grow to deeply care abt are put in a killing game #and later you find out that you might have been involved with it starting #and then finding out you were DIRECTLY responsible for both the killing game and the End Of The God Damn World #like. he fucking made the virus. he brought it here. and trying to stop it might kill him in the process #(he made sure it would do that. he knew that he would be too scared to try and fight back.) #and like also #someone dies while trying to kill him #and while he doesnt know exactly what happened he KNOWS that no one could have killed mikan #but he litterally cant bring it up and he has to watch as one of his closest friends gets executed for something he KNOWS he didnt do #also yeah he litterally cant bring up most of the shit related to him being tied to the virus #he is not having a fun time

[tojisveryown]

𝙸𝚗 𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝙴𝚢𝚎𝚜 | 𝟶𝟸

© 𝙰𝚕𝚕 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔𝚜 𝚋𝚢 𝚝𝚘𝚓𝚒𝚜𝚋𝚋𝚢𝚐 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚞𝚖𝚋𝚕𝚛

𝙰𝚌: 𝚠𝚃𝟼𝙸𝙳𝟸𝚀𝟺𝙰𝙺𝚄𝟿𝚏𝚛 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚠𝚝

𝚂𝚢𝚗𝚘𝚙𝚜𝚒𝚜: 𝚃𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚟𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚟𝚒𝚜𝚒𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚘𝚗𝚎, 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚟𝚎 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚜𝚊𝚝 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚙𝚊𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚘𝚗𝚎, 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚋𝚕𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚛𝚘𝚠𝚍 𝚘𝚗𝚕𝚢 𝚞𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚕 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚟𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚙𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚕𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚝𝚎 𝚘𝚙𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚒𝚝𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚊 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚓𝚎𝚌𝚝.

𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚊𝚕𝚌𝚘𝚑𝚘𝚕, 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚜𝚎𝚡, 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚍𝚛𝚞𝚐 𝚞𝚜𝚊𝚐𝚎𝚜

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝: 𝟸.𝟻𝚔

𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚜: 𝙲𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚐𝚎 𝙰𝚄, 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚘𝚘 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎, 𝚏𝚕𝚞𝚏𝚏 𝚖𝚒𝚡𝚎𝚍 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝

𝙿𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜 | 𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝟶𝟸 | 𝙼𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝

(𝚄𝚗𝚎𝚍𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚍)

⋆ 💌⋆ 

3 am, it was three o’clock in the morning and you woke up to the sound of your phone going off. Who the hell would be up at this hour, especially since there was a lecture everyone had to attend in four hours.

You took a glance at your screen, slowly adjusting to the brightness, you allow yourself to wake up, you check your messages, and realize Gojo has been texting you nonstop 

“Seriously, what the hell is wrong with this guy its three am..” you whisper to yourself trying not to wake up Utahime

“Who would ever wanna fuck you anyway?” 

Sheesh. 

Am I that un-fuckable? You walked over to the bathrooms and gave yourself a long and judgmental stare. “Shit, I am un-fuckable aren’t I?” 

Before you let your insecurities get the best of you, you decided that it’d be best to catch some sleep and worry about your appearance later. It’s not that your body was ugly, or that your face was ugly, it was definitely how you dressed. 

The way you dressed practically presented to everyone what type of vibes you give off, and as of right now you gave off pretty much “Hi, my name is L/N Y/N and I still shop at the kids' section from target.” and that is NOT the impression you wanted others to have when glancing towards you. 

You sighed, “That fucking man whore really did a number on my self-esteem.” You rolled over and checked the alarm clock placed on the nightstand that was sandwiched into yours and Utahime’s bed. 5:38 am 

“Maybe I should go shopping after the lecture.” you rolled off your bed and decided to get an early start. After finishing up you left the girls dormitory. 

6:45 am

Coffee? 

Coffee.

⋆ 💌⋆ 

You hurried to the coffee shop that was a floor below your first lecture, luckily there weren’t that many people waiting in line, after what felt like two minutes it was finally your turn to order.

“Hi welcome, what may I get you?” The barista said, 

“Hi good morning, may I get an iced caramel macchiato?” 

“Of course, that’ll be 5.47!″

You dug in your bag to find your wallet and before the lady could take your card a hand placed itself over your own “I got it, add a white mocha to it will ya’ make it for Y/N Gojo, thanks.” That voice belonged to none other than the pest you dealt with yesterday. “G’morin’ Y/N.” he smiled as he slung his arm around you leading you outside the small coffee shop. 

“Mmm, so about yesterday.. I’ll forgive you if you let me take you out on a date? How ‘bout it?” 

No. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with this guy?

“Huh? I didn’t apologize.” You feel yourself leaning on the pillar that stood outside the coffee shop. 

Gojo scoffed, “That’s exactly why, you won’t have to if you let me take you on a date. Think about it Y/N.” he leaned closer resting his forearm on the same pillar you were leaning against right above your head. He was practically towering over you.

“And if i don’t want to apologize?” He scoffed once more and held your chin, forcing you to lookup. His touch was cold, almost concerning really.. it’s probably from some sort of std.

“Y/N Gojo your coffee is ready! Y/N Gojo!” 

Gojo stepped away to grab both cups of coffee, he handed you yours and walked alongside you. “You know Y/N, so many girls would kill to go on a date with me, you’re really missing out.” there he goes flashing that cheekily smile around again. 

“Guess I’m not like the fuckable bimbos you go after then.” 

“You know you could be if you wanted to,” he walked in front of you, turning on his heels so he was now facing you as he continued to walk backwards. “All you have to do is give me a call.” he pulled his sunglasses down and gave you a wink.

Cheeky bastard.

You shoved the iced coffee into the core of his stomach signaling that you wouldn’t be swooned so easily by his escapades, you held out your arm until he realized you were giving the coffee back. His fingertips grazed over your hand and you flinched at the subtle contact. Before Gojo had the chance to call you out you were submerged into the crowd.

“Y/N stop being so difficult.” 

⋆ 💌⋆ 

6:58 am, you made it on time for your first early morning lecture and sat in the fourth row. As you began to pull your stuff out more and more people started filling up the seats. You were beginning to regret returning the coffee Gojo had bought for you due to the lack of sleep.

“Y/N don’t run off like that, I almost lost you in the crowd.” You turned your head and there he was, sitting right next to you while wearing that stupid grin “Sorry some of it spilled out, but it’s still perfectly fine.” he admitted as he slid the iced coffee towards you. You looked away, you thought Gojo would finally get the hint to leave you alone and yet he just kept going on Until..

“Good morning Satoru!” a girl smiled as she sat down in the row in front of us “Why do you have two coffees?”

He cocked a smile “Good morning Yuri,” he greeted before he took your coffee and handed it in her direction, “Ehh, they gave me an extra drink. But I wouldn’t mind giving it to you.” 

You turned your head to watch the scene play out, that bastard and his cheap tricks. “That was supposed to be my coffee” is what you wanted to say, but you knew it’d be best not to get tangled in Gojo’s business. You turned away looking for a new seat. You packed your things and headed towards the back of the lecture hall.

The girls face lit up in excitement “Of cour-”

“Kidding, this is Y/N’s.” but before Gojo could turn his head back to you to flash that idiotic smile of his you were nowhere to be found. 

⋆ 💌⋆

The lecture was finally over and just as you were finishing up your notes a figure appeared. “Y/N it’s rude to leave without saying anything.” He slid your cup of coffee on the desk.

“Thought you gave it to that girl.” 

“I bought it for you, not her.” he stated firmly, he grabbed your bag and walked towards the door, “Are you coming or not?”

“Huh, where are you and I going? And give me back my bag.” 

Satoru turned on his heels and leaned down to your height pressing his pointer finger on his lips. His crystal blue eyes met yours and you were at a loss of words, his eyes truly were beautiful and you almost let a compliment slip until you realized who those eyes belonged to.

“It’s a secret of course, and its ‘we’ Y/N, say ‘where are we going’, what good if there in having a parter if you aren’t even acknowledging them correctly?” 

“You aren’t my partner, work alone.” you handed him the cup of coffee and  seized your bag out of his arms. For the second time this week Gojo was now staring at your back as you walked away, your figure getting smaller and smaller each step you took before you were one with the crowd. Gojo stared down at the cup and noticed that you didn’t take any sips of the caffeinated drink that he purposefully bought for you. 

“Warm up to me soon will you?” he whispered to himself as he passed by a trashcan throwing the drink away.

⋆ 💌⋆

The next morning you found Gojo patiently waiting for your arrival, in his hands were two cups of coffee, it doesn’t look like he’s noticed you so you take that advantage and walk behind a group of students going to their next class. As you were passing by desperately trying to avoid any form of contact with Gojo you unintentionally eavesdropped on a conversation he was having over the phone. Unfortunately you weren’t able to hear the other side of the line.

“Another bet? Sugu’ that’s shitty” He laughed  “No, she already thinks I’m an asshole and making a bet with you involving her would make things worse. Okay okay okay one month right? Okay bye.”

Fucking bastard. Who does he think he is, making a bet to see if he can fuck someone he called unfuckable.

⋆ 💌⋆

Just when you thought you were finally free from the virus known as Gojo, the chair next to you became occupied by the person you thought you’d be able to ignore. 

“G’morin’ Y/N!” he cheered gaining the attention of all the students that had the decency to come early “Got you some coffee, promise I won’t give it to anyone this time.” 

You ignored him and reviewed the notes you took yesterday, as class began the thought of Gojo sitting next to you slipped your mind until he moved his elbow with the intentions of hitting yours but knocked down the coffee he brought you onto your notes. 

“Whoopsies.” He laughed it off and gave you his notes for you to copy off of

“Gojo I can’t read this.”

“You don’t have to be so picky Y/N, who else is gonna let you borrow their notes you don’t have any friends.”

Asshole.

⋆ 💌⋆

The next morning Gojo showed up with two cups of coffee again and this time he brought a couple of napkins. He sat down next to you and placed the cup in front of you. 

“Didn’t you learn from last time?” you questioned as you slid the cup back to Gojo.

“Well maybe if you actually drank it I wouldn’t have spilled it.” he pouted and pulled out a new notebook “Here, since I did ruin your old one.”

You opened the notebook and there was a drawing of a penis on each of the pages.

You took a deep breath and faced Gojo, it took almost everything out of you not to dump the coffee on this man whore again. 

⋆ 💌⋆

As the next day came you expected Gojo to sit next to you but today he didn’t, you finally got to pay attention and take proper notes without anything getting spilled on them. After class ended, you found yourself going to get bread from a bakery near your school, but as soon as you were about to pay a pair of cold hands reached over yours handing his card to the cashier instead of yours.  “’s okay I got it.” he said smiling as he slithered his hand around your shoulder. You slid his hand off and pulled him to the back of the bakery.

“Woah Woah Y/N we can’t do it here there are people from our class watching!” He teased as he threw his hands in the air as a sign of defense. 

“What do you want from me.” 

“What?”

You took a step forward, closing the little space you had between the two of you “What do you” poking his chest with your pointer finger you inched closer “want from me?”

Gojo leaned forward and whispered “Be my partner again Y/N.” Gojo felt you stepping away, furthering the distance you once closed. He pulled you into his chest and rocked himself, along with you following side to side due to his strong grip. One of his arms wrapped around your neck as the other slid down to the small of your back.  “What’s so bad about being my parter? Afraid I’m gonna use you like the chick you saw me in the library with?”

“I don’t want a man whore as my partner.” you huffed. Gojo flinched at the harsh words you used to describe him, nonetheless he still held you close, his cold hands grabbed your wrists guiding your arm to his back wrapping them around himself. 

“What do I have to do to prove to you I’m not a man whore?” he asked rubbing your back and pulling you closer to his chest. God how many layers of cologne  does this man lather on himself. 

“You can start by getting off me.” 

“Mmm.” he pulled you even closer to the point where you two had little to no space whatsoever between your two bodies. “Only if you agree to take me back as you partner.” 

You sighed giving in “Let me think about it?”

“M’kay!” he said pulling you even closer before letting you go.

⋆ 💌⋆

You walked back to campus with Gojo, the walk was quiet and peaceful. The sound of cars passing by along with the birds chirping filled your ears and it was a much needed break after eating at the bakery with Gojo filling your thoughts with nonsense. 

You and Gojo were on your way to the next lecture of the day until Gojo stopped walking. 

“Gojo?” 

“Sorry Y/N I have to take a leak, can you please wait for me? I wanna be able to sit next to you in class.” 

You nodded and waited on a bench that was within a few feat of the bathrooms, moments later you heard footsteps approaching.

“Hey that was fast, did you wash your hands?” You questioned finally looking up realizing it wasn’t Gojo but the girl who Gojo offered your coffee to, Yuri. “Oh.. Can I help you?” 

“Is Satoru really dating you?” She began to laugh and the two girls behind her joined after giving you a hard gaze. 

“What no-”

“Probably one of his bets with Suguru. Like Satoru would ever wanna date you. What are you after? His money?”

“Huh no.”

“Please, save the bullshit, how much did you sell yourself for Satoru to hold you in the bakery like that? Or did you force yourself on hi-”

Before she could continue the stinging sensation that was both on your hand and face shut her up. She held her hand up and you flinched waiting for the contact that her hand would soon make with your face, but instead when you opened your eyes Gojo’s hand had grabbed her wrist before the contact was ever made. 

He shoved Yuri’s hand away and grabbed your hand dragging you to your next lecture. 

⋆ 💌⋆

During the long boring lecture the only thing you were able to think about was everything that happened moments before class began. Losing yourself in your thoughts Gojo slid a piece of paper with the words: “are you okay :( ?”

You replied with: “Yes. I’m fine, thank you.” Gojo smiled to himself as he replayed the scene of him coming to your rescue, cocky bastard.

Ripping off a piece of paper from the corner of your notebook, you wrote down a few words and placed the folded piece of paper onto Gojo’s open palm. 

“I guess, you can be my partner again.”

That day Gojo Satoru wore the smile that you gave to him proudly.

⋆ 💌⋆

𝙿𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜 | 𝙽𝚎𝚡𝚝 | 𝙼𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝 

𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚎: 𝙻𝙼𝙰𝙾𝙾 𝙸 𝚊𝚖 𝚜𝚘 𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙶𝚘𝚓𝚘 𝚜𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛, 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚜𝚘 𝚏𝚞𝚗𝚗𝚢 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚎. 𝙰𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚜𝚔 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚍 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚊𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚌!  𝙷𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚢'𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢𝚎𝚍(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥

⋆ 💌⋆

𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝: @peppytine @enesitamor

𝙽𝚎𝚡𝚝 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚗 𝚃𝚞𝚎𝚜. (𝟺/𝟸𝟶) 

© 𝙰𝚕𝚕 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔𝚜 𝚋𝚢 𝚝𝚘𝚓𝚒𝚜𝚋𝚋𝚢𝚐 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚞𝚖𝚋𝚕𝚛

⋆ 💌⋆

#tojisbbyg #in your eyes #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #jujutsu kaisen gojo #gojo fluff #gojo x y/n #gojo hcs #jjk gojo #gojo satoru #jjk x reader #jjk angst #jjk fluff #jjk #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen angst #toji fushiguro x reader #suguru x reader

[supernova-cas]

so @itsinjustbeing made this post and @mochadean added the tags and I wrote a little thing about Dean studying for his GED. 

The humidity surrounded him like a thick coat, seeping into the kitchen through the window screens, barely held at bay by the old fan whirring about two inches from Dean’s face. He wiped at his face with one hand, the other pushing down at the page he was reading, trying to stop the flapping page from flying away and taking the prep book with it. He was just on the verge of finishing the chapter, pen between his teeth as he ran his finger down the page when he heard the car pull up. Within moments he was up, the book flipped over and shoved far away from him, his own hands around a half-assembled rifle. By the time the screen door slammed shut he looked, for all intents and purposes, like he was just taking care of his weapon.

It was a moment before he heard the tell-tale sound of Bobby’s thick boots scuffing the floor and he sagged slightly, the tension draining out of him even before Bobby came into the kitchen and spoke

“You can put that down, boy, it’s just me.” He came in, groceries on one arm, a takeout bag on the other. “Brought dinner. Get your shit off the table and we can eat.”

“Thanks.” Dean put the rifle down sheepishly, and picked his book back up. He piled it up with the notebook he’d been writing in, the three different pens and the odd blue highlighter Bobby had found in a drawer somewhere that made up his studying tools. He dropped them down on the couch before coming back to join Bobby.

They ate in a comfortable silence for a bit before Bobby spoke up.

“I told you this morning. Your dad’s halfway across the country, he’s not coming back for another few weeks. Trust me, there’re plenty of jobs up there, and he’ll want to take them.”

“Yeah, I know.” Dean answered around a mouthful of food. “I know that, he called last night.”

He’d picked up the phone, listened to John tell him about the job he was on, coughed a few times into the phone to try and make it convincing. Bobby had been skeptical of his plan at first, pretending to be sick to get the few weeks off without John realizing what he was doing. But Dean knew his father well enough to realize the moment Dean wasn’t going to be helpful John would be happy to drop him on anyone who’d take him, and understood him well enough to know that despite Bobby’s comments to the contrary Dean’s father wouldn’t get too worried when that sickness extended longer than a week or so. He chalked it up to his father wanting him to be tough. Trusting that Dean could handle whatever came after him, be it vamp or virus. It was a sign of his father’s trust in him and of course that only made what he was doing worse.

“So, there’s no reason to go throwing books about.” Bobby said.

“Yeah, I know.” Dean repeated.

Bobby looked like he was going to say something else but thought the better of it. Neither of them was very good at talking, but both of them understood the full unsaid conversation that hung in the air between them. Dean looked away, around at the cluttered room, down at the scratched table, anywhere but Bobby’s face. They lapsed into their regular silence until it settled again, back to comfortable.

Dean crumpled the trash up when they’d finished, throwing it out while Bobby took out a six pack and took one out. Dean reached for one, getting his hand slapped away.

“You done with what you wanted to do today?” Bobby asked in a tone that made it clear he knew what the answer was going to be.

“No.” Dean said it anyway, slumping back in his chair.

“Well then.” Bobby stuck the rest of them in the fridge.

Dean rolled his eyes but retrieved his books from the couch anyways, setting himself back up at the table and trying his best to refocus. It was hard, his mind kept trying to run in a million different directions, all directly away from the path the book was trying to take him. He’d been doing alright before but his mind had taken the break as a cue to shut down all functions responsible for understanding the numbers on the page and how he was supposed to be solving them.

This was why school was Sammy’s thing.

Still, Dean wanted to do this. He didn’t know why, knew he could never defend his case for it, but Dean wanted his GED. Even if right now his brain was fighting him about it. It wasn’t that he was stupid, he picked up on most the lessons in school easily enough when he was able to attend and even studying on his own, when he was able to keep his head down, when he got really drawn into the material, he was able to do fine. But now, suddenly he was faced with the practice questions and half of what he thought he’d known had flown right out of his mind. Fuck. Maybe he was stupid.

He sighed, flipping back through the chapter, trying to pin the knowledge back down, lock it up so it couldn’t fly away again. He was vaguely aware of Bobby working the phones in the background, his voice melding into the rest of the background noise, mixing with the old fan, the creaky chair he kept moving about in, the mosquito who was always just out of reach. Suddenly that whine was all he could focus on, unable to force his attention on anything else. He reread the same paragraph twice without taking anything in, the persistent droning impossible to ignore. He pushed his chair back, determined to find it and put an end to it. He tried to swat it but it was quick, darting out of the way every time. He waited another moment, until it seemed settled on the table before he swung his book down, crushing it with a loud, heavy thud!

For a moment there was blessed silence.

“Dean? What’s going on in there?” Bobby called from the other room.

“Nothing!” he answered back. “Mosquito.”

“So ya killed it with a hammer?” Bobby asked, coming back in. He took a moment to take in the scene. Dean, standing above the table, frustrated frown still on his face, the book slammed down onto the table face down, the back flipped over to reveal the past owner’s graffiti. He stared for about a second before he picked up the book, shut it and put it aside. He walked over to the fridge and took out another couple of beers, offering one to Dean.

“I didn’t finish.” Dean said.

“You’re finished for tonight.” Bobby said, gesturing for him to take it.

“You don’t think I can keep going?” Dean asked.

“I don’t think you should. You’ve been at it all day; you’ll be at it tomorrow. You’re not getting anything more done tonight.”

Dean took it wordlessly, stepping out of the kitchen out onto the back porch. Bobby followed after, sitting on the bench pressed against the wall.

“This is stupid.” Dean said finally. “This whole thing, me trying to study for this, lying to my father, it’s stupid. I can’t do this. I shouldn’t be doing this.”

Bobby waited until he was finished, taking a long drink.

“You done?” he asked. “With that little pity party of yours?”

“It’s not a pity party!” Dean turned back to face him. “I can’t even study properly, couldn’t even finish the section today.”

“So, you’ll finish it tomorrow.” Bobby answered. “You’ve been studying non stop since you got here, got your head bent over that book and takin a break right now aint gonna undo that. It’s just gonna let you focus tomorrow.”

“And if it doesn’t? If I fail, and this whole thing was just a waste?”

“Then we’ll do this all again I guess.” Bobby shrugged. “Listen boy, you’ve had a lot of stupid ideas. This is one of your rare sensible ones, don’t go screwin it up now by just giving up.”

Dean just shrugged, cracking open his beer and sitting down next to him. Between the two of them hung his agreement, his apology and his gratitude. Between them hung Bobby’s support, his acceptance.

Tomorrow he’d keep studying. Next week he’d take the test. And then it’d be over or they’d do this all again.

#my writing #mini fic #char: dean #char: bobby #'family don't end in blood' - sam dean and bobby #spn #spn fic #mine

[burnedbyshoto]

I wanted to make myself like the ravine

— There are plenty of things that Hawks knows about, but there are few he knows none about. A journey of how Hawks navigates the meaning of the word love. 

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

pairing: hawks (takami keigo) x fem!reader

warnings: recent manga spoilers, future!au, alcohol consumption, fem!reader

word count: 6,819

a/n: this is for the pocuties valentines day collab! rhank you for letting me join! inspired by the poem to the title of this fic!

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

A G A P E

—

Hawks is one of the fastest men in the world.

It’s not a brag; it’s the truth.

A cold, hard, damning truth.

Hawks is a Pro Hero with the power, skill, and finesse required to take the fall for the entire country. He is someone who is loved by all, who thrives off of the appreciation and the cheers, but he knows — he understands — he’s expendable. He’s a tool—an object seconds from being put to rest.

There are many things that Hawks knows; he’s been training to be a hero since he was in his very childhood. Blindfolded, tested and conditioned to be the ideal hero, the perfect pawn.

Hawks is no idiot, and he will never deny that often times that he isn’t sure what he is feeling.

Emotions are weird for him. Feelings are oversimplified in everything he was taught, yet disgustingly really and oddly interfering the second he had set foot into the spotlight. He was used to the cold, the people who would view him as a specimen, experiment 20493, codenamed: Fierce Winged Hawks. The only emotions he understood was apathy, seriousness, anger, resentment, bitterness, disappointment, and relief. When finally, finally, the Hero Commission broke his wings, his spine, and his mind, the small boy so eager to be a Hero ultimately nothing but a soldier, ready to follow commands to the T.

Hawks has only heard of love from the blurry, unclear memories of his childhood. His mother muttering how she had no love for him to be taking care of him as he did, or his father saying he could never love him. Love was foreign, strange, alien to him. Even when he was eighteen and finally given a bit of freedom from the chains the Hero Commission bound him in was expressed out of love. But he was put into the cage that granted him the ability to spread his stiff wings; love made no sense.

He saw lovers making out in alleyways, and he furrowed his eyebrows, wondering just why anyone would want to kiss in the smelly, dark, virus-infected areas. He saw his colleagues come in looking dazed, refreshed, reborn, yelling loudly, and singing poetry about their love for some other person they met just yesterday. He also couldn’t ignore the days, weeks, months later when they would rearrive with red-rimmed eyes, swollen eyes, and a tremor to their voice.

Love seemed… awful to Hawks.

Love was a deception of brain chemicals. Nothing more than your mind bending, flipping, and twisting to make something that made absolutely no sense make sense. 

Hawks had expressed that one day to a sidekick of his, his barriers and walls crumbling away because he had been on a stakeout for five days straight now. The world that could never keep up with him was numbing his brain.

“Well, that’s romantic and flirtatious love for ya,” his sidekick explained with a halfhearted shrug. It seemed that he both agreed and disagreed with what Hawks had to say. “They’re amazing loves, don’t get it wrong, and they definitely don’t make sense, but they’re loves not meant to last.”

Hawks blinked.

“What?”

His sidekick chuckled, hands rubbing at his eyes as he peered out the window again, his sullen eyes looking even more tired.

“Have you never learned the different types of love before, Hawks?” the sidekick teased as much as he was curious. “I figured a pro as popular and smart as you are would know the different types of love.”

Hawks feathers fluttered in his inability to keep his lack of knowledge to himself.

“I don’t.”

“Wow, finally something Hawks isn’t aware of!” the sidekick laughed, and his hand opened his phone, fingers hitting the screen before shoving the device into Hawks’ chest. “I’m sure you’ll find that you can understand at least one love.”

Hawks grabbed the phone, head cocking to the side in his curiosity as he scrolled down through the phone.

There were eight different types.

Eight different ones that he could have experienced within his then twenty-one years, and he found himself unable to look away from one.

Agape: universal, selfless love

“Hawks, they’re moving!” the sidekick squawked, and Hawks handed over the phone, and with nothing on his mind, burst out the window, ready to take down this organization.

Hawks had to admit that later that night, when he was finally able to sleep in his own bed, he felt selfless love. It was for the people of Japan. The many citizens who needed his help and the heroes of the country who rose to the demands of the job. Maybe it wasn’t the type of love depicted in anything he’s ever read or watched before, but that was okay. It was love.

The love he has for the citizens is enough to keep his head afloat.

This is the only love he needs in his life right now, the only love that matters.

But he’s no longer twenty-one, he’s twenty-five, and the wings on his back that feel practically invisible to him, are hurting. His back is in pain, his quirk almost gone, save for the smallest, insignificant feathers perching from the stumps of what was his beginnings of a wingspan. It still burns, phantom singes and phantom heat whenever he thinks about his nearly gone, never to be grown again, wings.

“Well, Hawks, you already know that this is going to happen,” comes the cold voice of one of the board members of the Hero Commission. A man who had practically raised (see managed) him. 

Today was the end of Hawks life, more or less.

“AFO, Shigaraki Tomura, and the well-known former members of the League of Villains were finally stopped,” Hawks speaks with a nod. He knows, even though he could not be a soldier, he had been around to see the young UA students, Endeavors Interns, bring them to justice.

The biggest names of evil were dead, and Hawks already knew he was over.

To be fair, he was glad it was over.

But still, it hurt to hear the indifference in his voice, the apathy, the tedium.

“Operation: Fierce Wings - Hawks is officially over.”

“I could’ve figured that one out pretty easily,” Hawks jests, unable to show the way his heart twisted and withered under the knowledge that he was no longer a hero. His love, his agape, for the people were still there. Still, just as he recognized in his colleagues who were experiencing the different forms of love, it didn’t matter how much love you held for someone, something, for the innocent, helpless people…

Life takes, it destroys, and love doesn’t seem to have a chance.

“Thank you for your twenty years of service. I hope you find the freedom you had been looking for.”

P H I L A U T I A

It’s been a week.

Seven days, twenty-one hours, sixteen minutes, and thirty-four seconds since Hawks was fired (see Honorably Discharged) as a Pro Hero.

Hawks has always felt that the world moved oh so slowly behind him. It had been his wish that heroes be able to relax, laze around because society had evolved enough that criminals knew better, were treated better, and could integrate into a truly peaceful society.

It had been his dream.

But right now, he was bored.

B o r e d.

“Fuck, I don’t care,” Hawks grumbled, face smooshing into a pillow as he watched the Netflix Series Bridgerton drone on the screen. “Dump his ass.”

His apartment, it was safe to say, was a mess. There were cups, bowls, plates, and chopsticks everywhere. His hair was ruffled, stringy, held back by a hair clip he had stolen from Miruko. His beard was nearly fully grown in, and there were bags under his eyes despite the fact he was sleeping for more hours of the day than staying awake. He was sore, tired, bored.

So bored.

He didn’t think being bored was going to suck this much, going to hurt him like this.

Fuck.

“Open the damn door, bird boy!” came a sharp scream and powerful kick from the front door.

Hawks glared at the door, the tiniest of feathers he had been able to regrow, trying to pathetically open the lock on the door. A sheen layer of sweat pushed against his forehead, and Hawks grunted, trying to lift the heavy lock.

BAM.

The door swung open, forcefully kicked open by none other than Pro Hero Miruko.

“Yo!” Miruko waved, lips pulled in a fierce grin as she entered through the broken doorway with nothing but a bag of unknown items. “I figured you were here!”

“...you broke my door,” Hawks pointed out, eyes narrowed as dust and destruction danced within the air.

“You took too long,” Miruko breezed, slamming her plastic bag on the kitchen island. “It’s a fucking rats nest in here, birdbrain; I thought you were somewhat organized?”

Hawks groaned loudly, sinking further into his couch as Miruko began reorganizing his kitchen area — dumping the dirty dishes into the sink and throwing things away in fast, practiced skill. “Life is too boring, and I’m too bored to do anything about all of the mess,” Hawks exaggerates partially, hand twisting and dancing as he speaks. “Thanks for cleaning up the mess.”

“I’m not cleaning up your damn mess, birdbrain,” Miruko barks out a laugh, her hands slamming against the now, somehow, clean surface. “I’m just making my life easier!”

Hawks looked over the top of the couch with a semi impressed, semi uncaring look and shrugged.

“You seem to have a great handle over those robot limbs now,” he points out.

Sure enough, Miruko had two bionic limbs, limbs that she had finally managed to work into a fighting career. After spending two years on the sideline, relearning how to walk and then fight, she was back on the field.

She was a hero again, despite it all, unlike him.

“Damn right, I’m amazing!” Miruko preened, chest puffed, and bunny tail wagging excitedly. “But anyway, I figured your dumbass would be depressed, so I brought you some shit.”

Hawks watched with a curious gaze as Miruko quickly hopped once from where she was in the kitchen to a place on his couch, landing on Hawks' legs unintentionally.

“OW!”

“Look at what Rumi brought you,” Miruko laughed, slapping Hawks on the back as he cradled his legs. “And yes, I just referred to myself in the third person, so shush.”

Hawks grumbled, lips in a half pout, half frown.

Taking the opaque bag from Miruko, Hawks pulled out the many items in the bag.

Carrots, a KFC gift card, Korean skincare products, a movie about Miruko’s recovery process, and a 1001 Things to Do (A Book on Finding Self Love).

Hawks stares at the book.

“The perfect items for a self-care, self-love spa day,” Miruko nods, once again slapping Hawks on the back. “Some old sidekick of yours told me that you don’t know what love is, so I figured that I would help teach you the most important one! Self-love! Truly the hardest one to master, in my opinion, but damn if it isn’t a good one.”

Hawks feels transfixed almost, unable to look away from the book as Miruko slaps him on the back yet again as she moves to leave. He hears her yelling about forwarding the bill to fix his door to her, her agency would pay for the damage, and how she’s off to train with some bunny hopping boy from UA.

Opening the book, Hawks looked at the number one thing to do on the book and sighed.

#1: Look in a mirror and name five things you LOVE about yourself.

Well, it’s not like he has anything better to do.

-

Hawks is on number thirteen (Stand at a bridge and scream into the void about the things you love at dusk) when he realizes that maybe… he doesn’t love himself. 

It is without saying that he loves people; agape, after all, is the only love type that made sense to him, but philautia, self-love, was way lost on him. Objectives 2 - 12 on the book were entertaining to do! They had Hawks going outside of his house much more than his week trapped indoors, and for the first time since the day his wings had been burnt off, his house was spotless.

But it was clear to Hawks that he didn’t feel love for himself.

Whenever he tried to convince himself that he should love himself, that there were terrific qualities in himself, he thought back to the dirty, burnt room. 

“I still gotta protect their happiness!” the phantom in his mind screamed, the broken sob collected in his throat.

Hawks shivered, unable to let himself recognize the pain and hurt in the phantom's eyes, or the way that he now wished he had never done that… why had he done that?

What a mess…

The small chirping of Hawks phone interrupts his morose thoughts. He looks at the screen, eyebrows raising in slight mirth and caution as none other than his former intern was currently calling him.

“Tsukuyomi-kun!” Hawks laughs into the receiver, the weight of his past for a moment forgotten. “How are ya?!”

“Hello, Hawks-sensei,” Tokoyami’s calm tone fills Hawks' ears. “I was calling because I have a request to make.”

“Name it,” Hawks spoke immediately, slouching against the cold bars of the bridge, eyes closing as he tried to relax. “You need a letter of rec or something?”

“Nothing of the sort, actually,” Tokoyami says. “We third-year students are graduating in a few days; I was inquiring if you would attend on my behalf.”

“Wow, Tsukuyomi-kun, no need to be so formal with me!” Hawks laughed delightedly, his hands carting through his feather-like hair, “I’d love to come and watch you guys graduate! Is it true that the finger-smashing boy is the valedictorian?”

“That would be false, Midoriya-kun has nothing on Yaoyorozu-san.”

“What a bummer, you’d think he’d be first after how he helped win the war for us, huh?”

“You’ll find that Yaoyorozu-san is highly gifted and undeterred by most things,” Tokoyami sighed. For a moment, Hawks chuckled at the melancholy tone to his old intern's voice. It sounded as if he had been striving with great difficulty to reach the highest marks as well. 

Hawks began speaking to his rather odd ex-intern with great curiosity with the blanket of the night surrounding him. His defenses and thoughts whittling away the more they spoke, the later it got in the morning.

“Ne, Tokoyami-kun, I have a question?”

“Concerning what?”

Hawks pauses, his brows furrowing as he looks up into the still dark sky, “Do you know how to love yourself?”

Silence.

Had it been anyone else, Hawks would have panicked at the lack of noise. Still, his already less than chatty intern typically took to not speaking much to begin with.

“Self-love is difficult,” Tokoyami finally spoke, his words slow, carefully chosen. “We humans are flawed; we all have demons. Most of the time, we only recognize and see our demons, oftentimes forgetting that being human also means being weak and at times immoral. Loving oneself is a hard task because we know ourselves better than any other. It’s a work in progress for everyone to love oneself, it's a type of love by the Ancient Greeks, but it’s not always everpresent. One must accept all flaws to love oneself, and remember that flaws don’t make you less, even if you believe otherwise.”

“...wow, I asked for a sentence answer, and you gave me a speech. Who would’ve known you were so in check with your emotions, Tokoyami!”

“You knew, I’ve already revealed this side of me before. You laughed last time too.”

Hawks finds himself home thirty minutes later, and he stares up at the ceiling, fingers drumming against his chest.

Self-love… it seems like an ever-evolving type of love, but it’s there. He knows that even if he has regrets and hardships and things he hates about himself, deep down, self-love exists and that it will exist. 

Patience.

Even the fastest man in the world could demonstrate patience.

L U D U S

“What can I get for ya?”

“I have no idea honestly, do you have any recommendations?”

Hawks could say with complete honesty that he felt entirely out of place.

He was at a local bar. The bar was semi-busy today. Most young adults dressed in an arrangement of clothes, each on a different level of soberness as they cheered to this and that. 

Why was he at a bar even though he was slightly uncomfortable? Well, you can blame #73 in the book for that.

(#73: Enter the first bar you find, order a drink, and flirt!)

“What type of liquor do you like? Hard or soft?”

Hawks blinked; he didn’t know.

“Hard?”

The bartender looked a bit unsure of him for a bit before nodding and turning his back to him.

Did hard liquor mean he was going to get an iced drink? He’s never consumed alcohol before.

“Here you go!” the bartender sang, slamming two shot glasses before him. “Two shots of Bacardi.”

“Oh, thank you?” Hawks tilted his head as a small cup of OJ was placed in front of him (“That’s your chaser,” the bartender had laughed). Bringing the small glass shot glass up, Hawks looked around at the throngs of people surrounding the bar and looked at you. You were cheering loudly as you raised your own shot glass in the air with a whoop and, in a fast, fluid motion, brought the shot glass to your mouth and took the liquid down easily. Hawks was definitely unimpressed now; that looked entirely too easy. “Here we go, cheers to me.”

Imitating your own actions, Hawks shot back the liquid in his shot glass, and immediately his entire body tensed.

EW.

NO.

EW.

OH GOD, NO!

Spitting out the sour, bitter, disgusting — dear god, how do you even describe this taste?! — liquid, Hawks, chugged the OJ, his lungs and throat and tongue burning from the shot.

“That was disgusting!” Hawks spat to absolutely no one, his hands covering his mouth as he stared at the other awaiting shot of ‘Bacardi.’ “Why would anyone drink that?!”

“Only madmen drink Bacardi while sober,” a voice joined in on Hawks' one-sided conversation. “Or bitches who are self-sabotagers. Never trust a hoe who says Bacardi is their favorite drink.”

Hawks turned around to see you, the girl he had regrettably underestimated for taking the shot, smiling at him with a not entirely sober look to your face. 

“You look like neither. That and the way you took the shot obviously means that you had no idea what you were drinking.” Hawks continued to stare at you, completely perplexed by your casual conversation, the dress on your body that was twisted a bit, screaming wonders about your level of sobriety. You took to the empty barstool beside him with a grin and a calculating look, “You’re Hawks, right?”

“Yeah, Hawks,” he spoke, his tongue feeling weird in his mouth as he bowed stiffly in his chair. You were beautiful, fuck.

“I’m y/l/n, nice to meet you!” you speak easily, fingers grabbing at his other filled shot glass with a concerned look. “I have a feeling you shouldn’t try to take this other shot.”

“Dying of alcohol definitely isn’t in my vision of ways to go out,” Hawks grins. Pushing through his haze of awkwardness as you shift in the barstool so that you’re now facing him entirely, knees pressed to his thigh. “I’ve never actually drunk before?”

You inhale sharply, your eyes going wide as you break all levels of personal contact that’s acceptable of strangers in Japan and grab his cheeks.

“Alcohol virgin?!” you gasp, the sweet smell of some liquid drafting from your breath. “I’ll teach you everything that I know, don’t worry!”

You let go of his face, neck turning away from him, looking for the bartender to flag him down.

“Don’t you have—?”

“They can wait,” you wave at the bartender before turning back to Hawks with a confident grin on your face. “I have my favorite Pro Hero right beside me; I think they’ll understand.”

“Alright, what is it that I need to know?”

“My full name,” you breeze with a wink. “Y/l/n y/n.”

“A beautiful name.”

“I am a beautiful woman.”

Hawks chuckled good-naturedly, his head nodding in agreement, “I think we were talking about the alcohol, though, not your attraction as a female.”

“All in good time, all in good time,” you laugh, taking to the bartender and ordering two drinks, both of which were entirely foreign to Hawks.

Hawks would not consider himself to be an expert at flirting. He was attractive, a great conversationalist, and did have a type of edge to his words that often seemed playful or a warning, depending on how you looked at it. But it appeared that his natural way of speaking was more than enough to make him flirtatious enough to match the way you spoke to him.

You had introduced him to a single mixed drink, telling him that getting drunk by yourself at a bar typically wasn’t a smart thing, so keep to something with a low alcohol percentage. Just enough to make you loosen up, but not enough that you were incapable of getting home. Hawks liked the way your hand rested on his forearm. How you smiled and laughed at something to show your interest but not at everything to show that you weren’t faking your amusement at what he was saying.

You matched his every word, not backing down from his bluffs. Soon enough, Hawks felt his cheeks warm when he finally looked directly at your smiling face (he wasn’t sure if it was from the alcohol or not). 

Eventually, though, the night ended, and you shimmied off the bar stool as your friends had come to collect you to leave.

“Can I get your number?” you ask, eyes mostly entirely sober as you handed him your phone. “I know you were the man who was just a bit too fast, but I think I can handle that.”

Hawks snorts, his eyes rolling in his amusement, “That was horrible.”

“I’m drunk, I have an excuse!” you exclaim with a pout that quickly turns into a giddy smile as Hawks enters his number to your phone. “Don’t worry though, once I’m sober, I’ll flirt your eyebrows clean off!”

“That sounds painful!” Hawks yells as you wave goodbye, your arms linked with a line of other girls as you leave the bar with teasing laughter and undecipherable words.

It was with you that Hawks realized that he had come to find a new type of love.

Ludus, the love of flirtation and playfulness.

Damn, who would’ve known.

P H I L I A

Hawks was having a pretty bad day.

It wasn’t anything super terrible happening, all things considered. It was a lovely day out; the sun was warm, the sky so blue, and the birds chirping. Nothing on the news to be concerned about and all his precious people were safe.

But it was still a bad day because instead of being out and about with you, his now borderline best friend/girlfriend, who he was stupidly having a crush on, he was stuck at home.

Hawks was sick.

Deliriously, stuffy nose, goopy eyed, chapped lips, and feverish sick.

You: Are you sure you’re fine????

Hawks: Im perfectly okay. Ill go with you to the park next time sorry

You: Thats not what im concerned about stupid!!!!!

Hawks: Bye have fun!

You: I knoW YOURE SICK ASSHOLE

Hawks chuckled, rereading his messages with you.

Blowing his nose for what felt like the umpteenth time, Hawks resumed the movie on the screen that you had recommended him to watch — Disney’s Chicken Little — because it reminded you of him, or something like that. The TV droned on with the movie, and Hawks found it hard to keep focused as the Sandman danced on his head and whispered in his ear.

He hadn’t noticed he had fallen asleep until a loud banging was heard on his door.

Shuffling towards the door, Hawks opened the still slightly broken door with bleary eyes and a stuffy nose.

In front of him was none other than you.

You… with a basket full of things.

“Hi!” you greeted him, pushing past Hawks easily and walking into his apartment. “You look worse than I thought you would be!”

“That's hurtful,” Hawks pouted, closing the door behind you, sneezing, then following after you. “Why are you here? I thought you w-were — achoo — going to the park?”

“I was, but we were supposed to go together to check off number 184, and I wasn’t about to go alone to complete a list meant for you!” you exclaimed, dumping the overfilled basket on the kitchen counter.

“Mm,” Hawks hummed, his voice dry and cracking as he pulled the blanket closer around him. “What’s this?”

“A get well care basket,” you say in an unmistakable like tone; you glance at him, smiling widely, and gesture dramatically to the basket. “Follow along, if you can.”

“Pfft.”

“So first, I have some sleepytime tea; I swear to the gods and back that this tea will cure you and knock you the fuck out,” you say, pulling out the thing on top of the basket and putting it to the side. “Next, we have some tissues because you obviously need them.”

“Hey!”

Hawks watched through red-rimmed eyes as you carefully and thoroughly explained what and why you had brought him. Fuzzy socks, a blanket, his favorite snacks and drinks, medicine, DVD’s to more movies you told him he had to watch, an embarrassing childhood picture of you that he had been wanting and swore he would never expose least he wants to die, more oils for his diffuser, and a signed Endeavor poster he had been wanting.

Safe to say that after he had been drugged up, eating some soup and drinking some tea on the couch, wrapped up in the blanket you had bought him, laying between your legs, Hawks was feeling much, much better. It had been hours since Hawks had coughed or sneezed, and he was talking with you about how Disney movies were being produced less and getting sort of worse with each one. The movie titan slowly losing its ground.

“Okay, it’s almost eleven pm; I have work tomorrow, you are still sick, let's pack it up!” you eventually say during a moment of comfortable silence.

“I can’t believe you have to work,” Hawks sniffled, standing up off the couch so that you could get up. “Seems like a crime.”

“It’s not so bad! Being a celebrity PR manager is a million times easier than a hero PR manager. At least we can help decide what's seen!” you laugh, helping to clean up his living room of the bags of chips and drinks.

“Sure, sure,” Hawks grins, keeping the trashcan open for you so that you could place the trash in. “Thank you.”

Walking you towards the front door, Hawks comes to the sudden and almost alarming realization that he doesn’t want you to leave. He wants you to stay. He thought this was a friendship, and it was one, a good one at that! For about a month now, he had known that there was a type of love he had for you, one of friendship.

It was called philia. 

So why did he want to keep you wrapped up in a hug, to pull you close and press a gentle kiss to your forehead, to your cheek, to your lips?

“—I’ll be back tomorrow to check up on you during my lunch break,” you say, slipping on your shoes as you pull on your jacket. “If you need anything at all, call or text—”

The words on your tongue die immediately when Hawks still slightly chapped lips press against yours. The sick must that was present earlier on the day is no longer there, and you can feel heat and fire bursting from your cells as Hawks pulls away from you.

“I’m sorry,” Hawks breathes out, a small smile on his face, a daze in his eyes that tells you he definitely was not completely sorry. “I couldn’t resist anymore?”

“W-We will talk about that later!” your voice squeaks, your heart hammering in your throat because fucking Hawks kissed you. “If I-I get sick, I’ll rip out your eyebrows!”

“Will you go out with me? On a date?” Hawks continues on, leaning on the doorframe you’ve yet to pass.

“...I hate you, yes,” you warble, hands pressing against your burning face as Hawks grin grows.

“Perfect, I’ll text you,” he allows you to pass through the doorway where you feel both entirely light and giddy yet awkward and mechanical.

“Hawks, I swear, if your stupid kiss got me sick!”

“You’ll rip out my eyebrows,” Hawks laughs, waving a hand. “If you rip out my eyebrows, I demand a kiss for every hair you pluck out.”

He laughs at how he can basically see the heat rising from your ears as you squawk and run away.

Looking at #184 of his book, Hawks smiles as he crosses it out (#184: Ask out your crush!) and sighs. Philia was love between friends, but it was also, if he remembered correctly, one of affection. And it was without saying that he held a deep affection for you.

E R O S

As much as Hawks claimed he knew about the world, he was as clueless as a newborn baby when it came to the topic of love. Reasoning? Well, today marked a year of being together. It had been a year since Hawks had kissed you when he was snot-nosed kissed (you did get sick, by the way, and while you didn’t rip out his eyebrows, Hawks had kissed you plenty in apology), and then took you on a date where you went to a trampoline palace.

He was clumsily romantic. More often than not, he wasn’t actually romantic. Still, the sincere thought and emotions he put into it made his actions seem so thoughtful and sweet.

You’re not sure why you actually believed that on your year anniversary, he was going to plan something for the two of you. So the reaction he had when you showed up on the year anniversary, armed with a bouquet of flowers and a small personal gift for him, Hawks looked deeply confused.

“This is still not bad!” you exclaim, watching as Hawks attempts to redecorate his apartment from the messy bachelor vibe into something of romance. It was easier said than done, especially as your boyfriend had no decorations in his house that wasn’t fanboy or bird material.

“I didn’t realize that one year anniversaries were meant to be out and about!” Hawks yelled back, failing to nail the fairy lights onto the ceilings. “I knew you wanted to do something, but I thought it was going to be like ‘let’s go get some KFC!’ sort of thing!”

“Definitely not,” you laugh, sitting on his couch with the take out food sitting on the table. It had just arrived, and Hawks was still not accepting the lack of romance in his apartment. “But it’s okay, really Hawks! I didn’t tell you, which is entirely my fault! Come on, let's watch something together, eat, and relax!”

Hawks sighed and looked up at the ceiling.

He should have known that one year anniversaries were a big thing in dating too. They sure were in businesses; what a rookie mistake. Not satisfied with the lack of romance in his apartment but also unable to do anything more to it, Hawks sulked over to the couch and sat beside you, grabbing his dinner plate.

“Thanks, dove.”

“You’re most welcome, baby vulture. Thank you for the food!” you grin, breaking the chopsticks and digging in.

The food is eaten with a mirthful conversation, the TV playing the 100 Funniest Hero Fails playing on Youtube. Eventually, the purples and pinks of the sky became dark.

Night is here.

Hawks went from sitting right beside you to lying on the couch and having you snuggled into his stomach at some point in the night. YouTube is no longer playing Hero Compilation videos. Still, it is now instead showing a chef with a giraffe quirk demonstrating how to make your very own pancake treehouse, no clickbait!

Hawks is transfixed on you, watching the way your eyes sparkle and shine as you stare up at the screen, your lips moving as you give your side commentary, but he can’t hear a thing.

Five weeks ago, on this day, was the day that Hawks realized that the philia love he had for you had evolved once again. It had become one of eros. Romantic, passionate love. He loved you; he loves you. Anything you wanted or needed in the world, Hawks would do anything to give it to you. He had yet to tell you said realization; after all, he needed to make sure it wasn’t some fluke but found himself chickening out each time he wanted to confess.

Gliding his thumb against your cheekbone, Hawks stared adoringly at you, head tilted as you laughed at the video before glancing up at him. It was evident that you hadn’t been expecting him to be staring at you so intensely. As soon as you glanced back at the TV, you snapped right back, curiosity blazing off your gaze.

“What’s up?” you asked, hands pressing to his chest as you lift up a bit. “Do I have something on my face?”

“I love you,” Hawks whispered, the words coming out so much easier than he thought it would. “Y/l/n y/n, I love you.”

Your eyes widen significantly, your jaw dropping as your eyes grow just a bit watery.

Hawks smiles softly, knowing that for so long you had told him you loved him without a single moment where he returned the affection. It hadn’t bothered you. Obviously, you knew why he didn’t say it, but finally hearing him say it seemed to break you just a bit in the best of ways. He kisses you softly, fingers wiping away the single tear that fell.

“I love you,” he repeats.

“I love you too, Hawks,” you blubber, your smile so bright yet wobbling with your heartfelt emotions.

“Takami Keigo,” Hawks corrects. “My name is Takami Keigo.”

Hawks watches as you process his name, and a wet laugh bubbles from your throat as you nod your head, hands reaching behind his neck to pull him close for the first soul-consuming, fiery kiss of the night.

“I love you, Keigo.”

If this wasn’t eros, well, then, Hawks didn’t know what it was.

P R A G M A

two years later, valentines day

Keigo sits on the bed, fingers adjusting the tie around his neck as he stares at you doing your makeup in the bathroom. Your eyes intensely concentrated on your reflection as you painted dark red lips on yourself.

To sum up the last two years in a single, simple phrase, Keigo would say that love now made even less sense to him.

It wasn’t precisely that it made perfect sense before. Some days he still argued and wondered about how love could exist in specific scenarios. Or why, after you stole his final KFC chicken leg he was saving, he could always love you after such betrayal. It made no sense to him, but also made perfect sense, hence the complete confusion.

But it was without saying that as you twirled in your outfit in front of him, a grin plastered so large and lovingly on your features, that it made sense.

How could he not love when he had someone like you.

The walk to the restaurant was perfect; he had even taken a moment to slow dance with you when you came across some performers. Your sweet smile meant just for him made Keigo hum contently as he kissed you gently.

Dinner was amazing. The food rich and luscious, entirely to die for that had the both of you moaning about how great it was before laughing because the waitress definitely heard that. After dinner was over, you and Keigo were now waiting on desserts when he simply grabbed your left hand and slid a simple ring over a very important finger before placing a kiss on your palm.

“I know I was at one point too fast, and maybe I think I was too slow to ask this, but would you like to wake up and have chicken with me every day?” Keigo asked, watching as your face went through a million stages of understanding, processing, internalizing, accepting, and pure emotions.

The kiss was sloppy and wet, the tears streaming down your face beautifully, like diamonds in the dark sky.

It was today that Keigo unlocked the last love he ever thought he would have.

Pragma: committed, enduring love.

#hawks x reader #takami keigo x reader #hawks fluff

[thefallenbibliophilequote]

Style

Loki x Reader

1989, chapter 3

"Her heart belonged to someone who couldn't stay"

Summary: It's hard to find the one, but even if you do find him it's always going to be a daily struggle to make it work. Can you even make it work after he broke your heart? The answer to that is complicated, but it all started when you found each other again in the Stark tower- and that's where our story begins.

Word count: 5,300

Warnings: mild angst, violence, badly written missions(I'm sorry), fluff

A/N: this song is so fun, and as always with this series I suggest listening to the song of the chapter. Let me know if you want to be tagged!

A/N: a big thank you for @chrissquares for making these amazing dividers! And thank you @nacho-bucky for beta reading this!

No one is allowed to repost my writing or steal or copy my work! Reblog on tumblr is fine.

Series masterlist

Song on Spotify and on YouTube

"Hydra is moving fast and advancing, tomorrow they are going to make a move on a not so secret lab in Germany which works on energy cores, we do not know the exact thing that they are after but we are going to stop them from getting it. Reindeer games you are quite familiar with Germany so try not to take over it this time." Tony projected then the layout of the place. You didn't dare look at Loki, you already knew the scowl he had on his face, barely distinct but you knew it was there.

"Why can't we just warn them today and ambush Hydra?" Clint asked from the end of the table. But you didn't look at him.

You strategically chose your sit, no temptation to look at Loki, not returning the looks that you knew he would send you. No memory of just earlier today. Hell, you still felt the ghost of his lips on yours.

"We suspect that with the knowledge, they might try to strike a deal with Hydra and in exchange of money, they will give them the supply they want. It's safer for us if they start on bad terms and we step in to make sure it all ends."

"We only got a handful of the weapons they created, so be aware of that and stay safe. That lab is intricate and big. Bucky and Clint will be on guard outside, take out any Hydra agents that may lurk guarding outside. The rest of us will spread out to protect and evacuate the relatively innocent folks, and the others take out the Hydra super guilty folks. Point Break, Horny Head," you bit back a laugh. "Try to see if there is anything Asgardian in the Hydra weapons."

You were the first out of the door after it ended. You were not going to wait to see what will happen. You almost felt like a prey, his prey, and he was about to catch you any second now.

"Y/N, are you not going to stay?" Steve asked when you were about to head out making you turn to face him, your eyes couldn't help but momentarily wander who Loki who thankfully had his eyes lowered. "We were going to review the mission details."

"Oh no, I'm feeling a little tired today," you tried to hold Steve's eyes but you knew he knew you better than anyone here, well almost. "Just fill me in tomorrow."

You did not see the look Steve gave the raven haired god when he watched you leave.

How could Loki not stare?

Just a couple of days ago his life was empty of you, and then you entered it again knocking the breath out of him just like the first time he saw you.

And just a couple of hours ago you were in his arms and he was kissing you like he did that one time he came home to you after a hard day with his father, and hel, you kissed him like you did that time he came back from a long fight after a week of being absent from your touch. Your kisses always reminded him what he was fighting for, despite the treatment from his family, he fought through to get to his solace, to get to you.

And now he is back to nothing.

And you are back in an empty room where his presence still lingered. Just like the night he left.

•

Out on the hanger, you were on the open quinjet ready to go when you felt a presence behind you.

"What exactly can you do?" you turned to him after you tightened the dagger strap on your leg.

"Why does it matter?" you went further inside the quinjet, at the very least you didn't want wondering eyes on you.

"I want to know what happened to you." The question made you look back at him. You couldn't figure him out now, he was just as different as you were but that's not it- he left you, no explanation, and now he is here kissing you and wondering about you as if he actually cares. But then again, why would he leave if he cared?

"I don't know what happened, I started to feel bad and I thought it was just a virus or something, but then I started seeing things… and then I just had these powers." You sighed, there were too many incidents before you understood what was happening.

"Nothing prompted it?" he pressed. He was almost towering over you now as you stood against the wall.

"No, not that I know of at least."

"What are they?"

"I can manipulate people's vision and emotions. I alter their reality as I like and control what they'll feel." You looked down then. "That's what I did to you."

"You put me in the invasion in New York, making me scared." You only nodded to him, you didn't like using your powers but sometimes they are needed. As if he read your mind. "You know that it's-"

You saw Natasha and Tony walk into the quinjet then, followed by the two supersoldiers who found you in the corner. You saw the strange look on their faces.

"I know exactly what it is Loki, now we need to focus on the mission." You walked around him and went away, sitting in the co pilot seat next to Natasha.

"Anything interesting happened today?"

"No Nat, nothing. Let's just get to that lab." You helped her start everything, ignoring the look she gave you at the answer.

"Thor?" Steve called to the god as the two went aside to talk out of earshot.

•

It was colder than you thought. Now you could only pray to any god out there, maybe Greek just strictly out of spite, that the lab will be much warmer.

"At this point, I think we lost the element of surprise boys." Natasha said through the comms as you drove towards the lab, snow covering the ground mostly white but as you got closer and more agents appeared it started to look red.

Bucky and Clint were on top of the trucks, shooting the guys that were securing the lab building from a distance.

With Thor and Loki taking down the guards on the tower, blasts came from besides you.

"Bucky, on our right, take them out." You yelled to Bucky who turned and blasted the vehicle and the agents in it.

"They're out, now could you just try to keep us steady? I don't want to fall off of this thing." He complained as you made another twisted turn, avoiding getting wrecked into a tree or a guard tower.

"You're a goddamn supersoldier, I'm sure you'll manage. Plus, it seems like we will have to leave the vehicle behind soon." You looked at the blockade just before you and Natasha.

"In three?" she asked and you nodded to her, pulling out your guns and shooting the men in front of you.

Then the blockade hit the cars. Bucky, Clint, Natasha, and you jumped out of it and over the blockade, knocking some of the guards.

You looked up and saw Loki fight. You've never seen him fight before.

He brought down yet another tower, pulling out knives out of nowhere and then disappearing behind the guards and he knocked the tower to the ground, its wooden form breaking down in pieces.

"Y/N look out!" you heard Steve calling out to you, he came in with his motorcycle, knocking out a Hydra agent who was about to attack you.

"Thanks Steve!" you called him and went to move away and fight.

"No, hop on, I need coverage." You nodded to him despite his bowl of crap. Hopping on the motorcycle behind him, you shot whoever was in sight. You got closer to the lab and in front of you a new rush of agents lined up. "Thor, we need you here."

"Oh no," you groaned. "You're going to do something really stupid, aren't you?"

"No."

"He always does something stupid, Y/N you should know him better." Bucky retorted and you laughed.

Thor came up besides the two of you. Getting down behind some rocks you guarded them.

"It seems like they are lining up for us."

"How kind of them" Thor raised his hammer and Steve his shield and it pounded as they hit each other, the energy sending the guards and the tank flying, obstructing them and their weapons.

Almost at the lab, a tall man stood in front of you, he had a weird shaped weapon in his hand, before you could advance and use your powers on him, the sky suddenly turned dark, you saw lightning and then his pointed weapon shot lightning energy towards you. It was too fast but you were whisked away before it could hit you. One of Loki's hands covered your head while the other snaked around your middle.

He pulled a long spear and was about to shoot it forward when he saw the man had disappeared.

"Brother have you seen that?" Loki called to Thor who ran next to the two of you. Loki still held you, but you pushed him away with a small thank you, looking at Thor instead and taking a few steps backwards.

"What was that?" he looked at his brother.

"It can't be, I destroyed it long ago." Thor shook his head.

"You saw what happened, it had to be it. Nothing else could do it." The blue eyes turned to you. "Are you okay darling?"

"I'm just fine, I can take care of myself." Pulling out your own knives, you saw Natasha and Pietro up ahead. "And don't call me that."

After you left Thor came up to his brother.

"What are you doing? What is going on with her? Loki were you-"

"That is not your business, stay focused on the fight. We need to find that weapon they used."

•

The inside of the lab was quieter than outside. Tony and F.R.I.D.A.Y detected the German scientists and you split up to look for them, and hopefully take whatever energy core Hydra was here for.

Jumping a story down, it was weirdly quiet.

"Hey guys, I'm in the east wing, something feels wrong." You waited but nothing came back but static, "Guys? Fuck."

Turning around you saw Hydra agents coming out of a door you hadn't seen before, they started to shoot at you, coming from both of your side, you used one guy for coverage, making them shoot at each other. Locking eyes with one of them, he soon fell with a scream, eyes foggy. You slit the throat of the guy you used and focused on him instead. In a field of enemies, he got up and shot everyone he saw around him. Once satisfied you let him fall down alongside all the others he shot.

You saw other agents coming your way but there he was again, Loki pulled you behind him and shot daggers forward and duplicating himself. You saw a couple running away to what you only assumed was another secret door but you lost them as you turned a corner.

"Guys, there's nothing here." The captain voiced through the comms.

"The comms are working again, great." You sighed.

"What do you mean there's nothing here?"

"I'm saying that this was a trap, there wasn't anything special that these scientists were working on, this is not what we thought it was."

"How could we have been wrong here?"

"I don't know but we have to go now, I don't like this."

Soon enough on the quinjet you tended to Clint's wound, he took a nasty shot. And your wounds weren't near as bad.

"Could they have had something that seemed insignificant to them but Hydra needed it for something?" you heard Tony talk to Steve.

"No, they weren't working on anything right now. The lab was for research, not for weapons."

You picked up on another conversation then.

"We have to tell father what we saw, Loki."

"No, I searched the building, and I didn't see the guy nor his weapon. Father will just send an army here when we don't even know what it is we are searching for." Loki reasoned.

You just tried to clear your mind and focus on helping your friend.

•

The sunset painted the rooms a lovely shade of orange from the windows. It was quiet as people were either resting, or in the infirmary. You walked through the hallway leading to the Avengers elevator to take you to your room.

He came in front of you from the corner.

"Y/N,"

"Hi." You didn't know what to say now, he saved your life twice today.

"Are your wounds alright?" you let him inspect your hands and arms. This was new to him too, seeing you fighting like this.

"Don't worry, they'll heal." He still didn't take his eyes off of you, his delicate petal out here fighting and risking her life.

"Let me heal them." You leaned on one wall as he stood in front of you, covering your wounds with his hand. You heard him mumble a chant and your skin tingled. You told yourself it was from the spell.

Then he looked up at you, and the look in his eyes was one straight out of your daydreams.

"I should just tell you to leave but-" your breath shuddered, your mind trying to make peace with your heart's will.

"I never stopped thinking about you and I." He admitted, you put your hands on his chest and slowly they slipped up to his shoulders.

"I heard that you have some other girl now, I heard they'll be a wedding soon." The pain in your voice did not go unnoticed.

"It's true, but I never thought I'd find you again. That was arranged, nothing happened yet and nothing will happen."

"I never stopped thinking about you too." You bit your lip and pulled him closer to you. "We know exactly where this leads, why go in circles?"

"My love, we can just call it even. We can't ignore this forever." His hand caressed your cheek now, you leaned into him.

"We're always going to come back, aren't we?"

"I'm afraid so, my dear." Your lips finally met, and you let every worry and fear go away, kissing him back with just as much passion and love.

And there it was again.

The first kiss.

"Will you stop messing it up?" you laughed at Loki as he tried to get the music player to work until he finally gave up and let you do it.

"That thing is just stupid midgardian technology, there is no use to it!" he complained as you magically managed to get it to work, a soft melody fell upon the room.

"I finally got you to agree to teach me, this is far from useless!" you laughed as you came up to him, playing with your dress as you twirled in it. You moved the furniture so you could dance in your living room.

"I don't understand why you even want to learn it, no one on Midgard knows it and it is not like you have balls around here anymore." It was quite barbaric to his taste.

"Yes but I want to learn this dance, I bet it is super pretty and elegant," just like you, you thought but didn't speak up. "I bet the balls there are amazing."

Loki showed you the right position and took your hand. He brought you close and prayed that you won't be able to hear his heartbeat.

"They are. Maybe one day I'll take you to see it," you had a bright smile on your face then. "You know, just so that these lessons won't be for nothing."

"Of course, whatever you say." You held onto him tighter as you almost fell. "I expect a nice dress too, I can't come to Asgard with a human earth dress."

He laughed at you, but it turned into a groan when you stepped on his feet, supposedly it was accidental.

"While you look beautiful in this dress, I bet you'll look just as beautiful in an Asgardian dress," you looked up at him surprised, you forgot how close you were, hel you forgot completely about the dance as you just stood there and swayed back and forth. "Like a true Asgardian goddess."

Loki didn't mean to say that but once it left his lips he couldn't even feel embarrassed about it, no he didn't even feel vulnerable when he saw the way you looked back at him. You moved your stare between his lips and his eyes.

"Do you really think that?" you whispered, scared to break whatever it is you have built in this room, in this moment.

"Absolutely." He closed the small distance and he already knew that he was a goner, you took his heart and mended it with your own. He could feel your passion in it, in your first kiss. He'll be damned if it will be your last. You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him ever so closer, deepening the kiss. He smiled then before you pulled away just a bit, a huge smile graced your face and you lit up the room. Your red lipstick was smeared a bit, your bottom lip was swollen, and he wondered if he ever told you how much he liked it when you put this lipstick on.

"This was inevitable, wasn't it?" the smile never left your face and he didn't know what he did to deserve you.

"I'm afraid so." You couldn't keep in the giggle that escaped you, this man will be the death of you, you were sure of it.

He had never felt as loved as he did in that moment.

The kiss after a bad meeting.

Loki got to your home as soon as he could, he couldn't wait to be in your arms. His father was- well, his father as usual. He just needed some peace right now, and that was you.

He walked into your apartment, he saw your computer open on your desk with various papers all around it but he didn't see you.

"Darling?" Loki called you and you pocked your head out of the kitchen. You immediately took off the apron and went to him, he smiled at you even though he knew you'd see right through it- you always did.

When you reached him, you gave him a tight hug, playing with his hair until you felt him relax under you.

Then you pulled back and kissed him so delicately but it was all he needed. Your kisses surely had some magic laced in them, because you somehow made him feel completely content.

"I love you." He whispered to you.

"You what?" you must've heard wrong. You told him you loved him months ago, but you understood that he needed more time, it was harder for him to open up like that. But while he didn't say it, he surely made sure you felt it that night. Sleeping was not included in that.

"I love you." He repeated and you smiled, going to say it back, "Do I smell smoke?"

The kiss after he came back from war after a week of not seeing you.

The moment you saw the green shimmer from the living room, you got out of your bed and all but jumped on your boyfriend as he took off his armor. He managed to balance himself and you, but then you pulled away from the hug and attacked him with a bruising kiss, you gave him easy access to your tongue and tried to pull him closer by his hair.

"I missed you so much." You leaned your head against his forehead, you both panted heavily. "Are you okay? Did you get hurt?"

He could see the moment the light bulb in your head lit up and he chuckled, he shook his head but he let you see for yourself, he knew it would calm you down.

You lifted his shirt up and saw the small cuts on his stomach.

"You're not okay! Loki come on, I need to clean these cuts." You dragged him to the bathroom and pulled out your first aid kit.

"Darling, I'm a god, these small cuts don't affect me." He rubbed your back but you didn't listen to him.

"And I'm your girlfriend so shut up and sit down. Maybe you got hit by a poisoned spear or something that is like- I don't know what's up there but I don’t care!" he saw how worried you were, eyes bloodshot, he hated to leave you. So he nodded and let you take care of him, his hand raked through your hair calming you down. He had never felt more cared for, or loved.

You swore at him all kinds of curses, telling him to stay safe and be more cautious.

He swore he was going to marry you someday.

•

Asgard felt different now. After you went back to your room, with a smile that you tried to hide but he caught, he and Thor went back to Asgard- they needed to check some stuff to make sense of what they saw. It was night now so luckily most of the people were sleeping. Most but not all.

As the princes walked through the corridors, lady Iyllir was there with her maids, which she quickly pushed away when she saw them.

"My princes, I am so glad to see you back in Asgard, it's almost midnight now how come you are still with your armor?" she frowned at the cuts and light bruises she saw in the dim light.

"We just got back, and we are both very tired so we are going-" Thor put a hand, keeping Loki in place.

"It is really late, I'm sure my brother will be happy to escort you back to your chambers?"

"Oh that would be great, thank you my prince, have a good night!" she bowed to Thor and took Loki's outstretched arm. He sent a nasty glare at his brother but walked with Iyllir towards her chambers.

"I hope you are okay, your cuts still haven't healed." She took his hand, gently examining the cuts.

"I assure you I am fine, these cuts will be healed soon. Midgardian weapons cannot wound me badly." He gave her a smile and she only nodded.

"I miss our time together, you are great company. I hope you are staying longer this time."

"We will be staying for a couple of days I assume."

"Oh, great, so tomorrow we can go to that nice garden that you said you will take me to!" she gave him a kiss on the cheek quickly before turning around and walking into her room. "Goodnight, my prince."

He groaned to himself, he did promise to take her there. He pondered about it as he went back to his room. The lady and he had quite a good time- that was before you came back into his life. He walked the long way around to his room.

•

"This place really is beautiful like you said." The redhead looked around at the flowers that were around them and the tall bushes that created a barrier from the outside of the garden.

"They have been using magic to grow the bushes around the entire ground, making them into walls of this place." He remembered what his mother told him about this place.

"Thank you for bringing me here, I never knew this place existed." She smiled at him and sat on the ground next to him.

"It's my pleasure," and for a moment those barriers made him go back to a couple of months ago, when he would wander around in thought about the lovely lady his father brought for him to meet, soon to arrange a marriage. "Did you manage to finish the book I gave you?"

"I did, it was really interesting. I find history fascinating so the book was splendid to read."

They talked like this for a few more hours, talking about books and exchanging stories.

Before he knew it, Iyllir got closer and closer to him, sitting right beside him. The silver tongued prince went silent when he saw her lean in, all the while smirking at the look on his face before returning her gaze to his lips.

He considered his options. You were his only love, perhaps you always will be, but will you stay after all that is over? Can he still come back to you? He remembered the reason he left, the moment was scorched in his mind but now things were different. Maybe this time he will be able to stay, would you let him? After all, all you agreed about was temporary, just for old times' sake.

Their lips touched now.

"I can't." Loki said, before leaning back from the offended girl in front of him.

"Why not? Our parents brought us together to marry."

"Perhaps yes, but while you are great company I am not ready for this yet. We should go back, I have a meeting to attend to soon."

When they got up, she refused to take his hand. It was a silent walk back.

•

"Thor, are you sure you checked it all?"

"I did Loki, the vaults were lacking multiple weapons. They were old ones. Do you think you could tell exactly what is missing?"

"I'll do my best." The vaults closed behind them and Loki started to scour the items present, while trying to find the missing.

"I saw you were taking a walk with lady Iyllir today."

"What about it?" Loki went deeper into the place, looking at the empty stands and mentally taking note of all the items that should be there.

"I also saw you were around Lady Y/N a lot. You still haven't told me how you know her." Thor studied his brother, following him to the big closet.

"I was on earth and I happened to meet her, I did tell you."

"I'm not as big of a fool as you think I am, I can see the way you look at her. And the way she looks at you."

Loki didn't know if he was relieved or frightened as he found a way out of this conversation when he opened the doors.

"My wand, Thor my wand is gone!" Loki's eyes went wide alongside Thor when they saw the other weapon that was missing.

•

"This is ridiculous, why is he throwing a party in the middle of this mess? We can't waste time Thor, we need to tell them what those Hydra mortals have." Loki scowled as he got through the people dancing in the crowded room.

"Will you keep it down Loki? These mortals don't know a thing. I'm sure Tony will listen to us when we find him.

Looking around the room, he saw several other faces he recognized, and then he saw you- grinning and laughing with a guy he did not recognize. One of the mutants- was her name Wanda? She came up to you with a hug, and joined in on the conversation. Maybe it wasn't like what he thought. He hoped so, when you looked straight at him. In the daze, he looked at the tight little skirt you wore, his mind was lost and didn't notice when you reached him. The crowd seemingly closing around you, a barrier that let you be alone without watching eyes.

"See something you like?" you smiled at him, he couldn't help but return it, not ashamed of looking at every inch of your body before answering you.

"Yes, very much" he put his hands on your waist, bringing you closer. You put your arms on his shoulders, keeping him close.

"We said we will start anew, right?"

"Yes." You leaned your head on his chest, and the two of you started swaying not along to the music but to your own heartbeats.

"I missed this, Loki. I missed us." You confessed to him, he didn't have to answer, you knew.

"Did I ever tell you how much I love that red lipstick of yours?" you chuckled and lightly kissed the side of his. He sighed at the contact and your heart fluttered at the red mark your lipstick left on him.

He brought your chin up with his hands and didn't spare a second before attaching his lips to yours. He didn't know how he survived without your kisses, without your touch. He actually did know, it was hel. He would go sleepless at night, conjuring up figures of you beside him but that could only help so much. When he missed you most, he would go to Heimdall and ask about you. He was the only one that knew after all, he was the only one who knew about his only weakness. But then so many things have happened, some distracted him from the loss of you until he got used to it, and some… some he had to keep you in his mind just to survive through the very worst things that were inflicted upon him.

But now that you were in his arms again, he knew it will be even harder to let go of you if you asked him to leave afterwards. And he made sure to show you how much he still loved you in the kiss until you parted and looked at him, your eyes begging.

"Take me home, Loki. Take me away."

With the temptation, it was something he couldn't deny the both of you.

The minute he teleported the two of you to your room, your lips were back on his, pulling him with you until you hit the bed.

You made quick work on taking off the white shirt he wore, as he unzipped your skirt, letting it fall to the ground before he picked you up and laid you beneath him on the bed.

You looked up at him, feeling whole again remembering all those other times you were just like this, he always had the same James Dean type daydream look in his eyes, right before he made sure you remembered who your heart belonged to.

He promised himself to show you how much he missed you, and make up for all those years apart.

You spent the next few hours devoting yourself to each other, you were sure everyone could hear you scream his name in pleasure. But you didn't find it in yourself to care when he made you feel this good.

•

"What do you mean you didn't get the weapon?" the agent backed away, scared.

"We didn't expect it, and besides- he was there!" begging for his life, he hoped he will get out of these woods alive, the weapon in front of him was powerful enough.

"Who was?"

"There were more of them than usual, we didn't expect him to be there- we couldn't get the weapon!"

"You will be given one last chance to do this right, if you fail I will make sure you pay the price for it."

He was then handed the weapon, wrapped in a cloth.

"Do you remember how to use it?" the agent considered it, before he grabbed it in its hilt.

"And this stone heals it, right?"

"Exactly, use it when I'm gone."

He did just that, pulling out the sword, examining the weight of its powers, looking at the gem stone, then turning back and stabbing the other agent behind him. He let him bleed, before finally taking out the stone, and he watched in wonder and the wound healed. This will be fun.

Tags: @ayybtch @buckys-other-punk @chaoticpete @madcrazy50 @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @the-departed-potato @rogerrhqpsody @onceupona-happilyeverafter-love

#style #my writing #loki x reader #loki laufeyson #loki x female reader #loki laufeyson x reader #loki fluff #loki angst #loki #loki imagine #loki odinson #taylor fic #taylor swift #angst #fluff #loki x you #tom hiddleston #loki fanfiction #loki fanfic #1989 #loki (marvel)

[untaemedqueen]

Lock Down (M)

Idol!Taehyung x Reader

Request: Can I request Tae accidentally finding out you like him (catches you watching a fancam or overhears you talking, I don't know lol) and then goes out of his way to make your life impossible (brushing up against you, lip bites, etc) until he knows you have no resistance left. As fluffy or smutty as you like 😇😈😘

WordCount: 6.6k

Genre: Fluff, Smut

Warnings: Cunnilingus, Fellatio, Multiple Orgasms, Unprotected Sex (Wrap It Then Tap It Fellas), Squirting, Cock Warming, (Slight) Ass Play, Degradation (Cock Slut)

A/N: I hope you like it!

You jump off of the sofa as the doorbell rings. Your best friend was coming to visit you after his promotions were over for their comeback. It was always a difficult time when BTS makes a comeback or goes on tour because then you're really left alone. Jimin was probably the only person you had since you moved to Korea. 

Running into him randomly one night without any knowledge of who he was. You asked him how to get to a train station to find food and instead because he knew you didn't know who he was and his managers didn't know he left the dorm, he went with you. Since then you were practically inseparable. It's a great feeling to have someone like him so close. He even got you your first job in Korea. You were a translator for Big Hit's English website as well as a translator for their Youtube channel and Vlive videos. You run to your apartment door with a squeal before ripping the door open. Your happy face slowly falling as Jimin stands there with Taehyung behind him. He didn't tell you he was bringing Tae with him. 

"My Y/N!" Jimin cheers happily, his long gray hair falling into his eyes as he jumps at you. You stare at Taehyung before hugging Jimin tightly. 

"Hi." You whisper taking your eyes off of the handsome prince in front of you. 

"Hey Y/N!" Taehyung cheers slinging his arm over your shoulder. Your whole body tenses and your knees begin to get weak as you smell his expensive cologne. He was dressed casually and still his sweatpants and his hoodie looked like they were the height of fashion. Jimin takes off his shoes and jean jacket before stepping into your apartment like he owns the place. You act like you own his when you go over so it isn't really a big deal. What is a big deal is he brought over this God of a man without consulting you and you look like a cheap homebody at the moment.

You can feel your face and your ears heating up as Taehyung presses you to his chest. The rigid structure of his body makes you feel lightheaded. 

"You didn't tell me Tae was coming over." You tell your best friend pulling away from Taehyung and scurrying into the living room. Jimin smirks as he throws himself on to the couch and grabs the television remote with a groan. 

"He was off today too. I just thought it would be fun." You sneer at Jimin earning a silent giggle. He knows the effect Taehyung has on you and it's astounding how comical it is for him. Taehyung walks past you and sits on your couch before smiling at you. His gorgeous smile has your stomach doing flips as you smile back. 

"Let's watch a drama." Jimin says before patting the spot between him and Taehyung. You push yourself off of the door frame, only to fill the spot in between the both of them. Taehyung angles his body towards you and you angle your body towards Jimin with widening eyes as Taehyung presses his knee into your thigh casually. Jimin smirks as you grip at his arm secretly. 

"Oh! Did you hear? The company made a new policy in lew of the virus." You hadn't checked your email all day since it was your day off. You shake your head as Jimin cards his fingers through his hair as he flicks through the channels on the television. 

"Quarantine for all staff." You nod your head. 

"Good thing I have my own apartment I can self quarantine." Taehyung shakes his head beside you. 

"No we are quarantining in numbers. So you get to come hang out at the dorm. We have that extra room." Jimin explains and you sit up quickly. 

"What?!" Taehyung points to your phone.

 "Check your email." Jimin lands on a rerun of Sky Castle as you grab your phone off the coffee table. Taehyung leans in next to you as you enter in BTS’ debut date as your passcode.

 "Aw. You love us!" He teases making you snort as you scroll through your messages. And, there it is. They weren't kidding. 

Dear Big Hit Staff,

Due to the difficult position Korea has been left with. It is with a heavy heart to write this letter. All promotions will be stopped for our groups and quarantine will take place effective immediately. It is in our best interest that no one gets sick and we all continue to work hard throughout these terrible times. All groups will be in quarantine in their dorms. As for any team members alone it would be wise to find staff members who have space within their homes and who are healthy to take this time to house up with other staff. It will allow the company to know one hundred percent that everyone in Big Hit is healthy and safe. We look forward to welcoming you back to the Big Hit building with smiles and a go getter attitude.

Bang Si Hyuk

You look over at Jimin as he smiles. "Hi, roomie." 

You roll your eyes at him before feeling Taehyung's hand on your back. You squeeze your eyes closed at the comfortable feeling. "The room next to mine is open." 

Oh no, hell no. You can't be in the same house with Taehyung! You stand up quickly making Taehyung confused as he tilts his head. 

"I'll go stay with Jayoung unnie." You say as your palms become sweaty. Jimin clicks his teeth before sighing.

"You're my best friend. You're coming to stay with us. Go pack a bag." The seriousness in his voice has you whining loudly as you stomp off towards your bedroom.

You enter the dorm only to be greeted with a sweaty Jeongguk. His hands on his naked hips as he works out in the living room. He throws himself onto the floor with a groan putting his hands over his face. 

"Y/N's here!" Jimin cheers loudly taking off his shoes. Jeongguk sits up quickly, his sweaty hair sticking to his forehead. 

"Noona!" Jeongguk cheers cutely making you laugh as he shakes his fists happily. 

"Welcome to Quarantine Hell." Yoongi comments with a laugh as he passes the living room towards his bedroom. Jimin grabs your hand before pulling you into the living room. Taehyung is hot on your trail as he hauls your packed bags towards the room next to his. 

"Fuck your computer stuff is heavy!" Taehyung curses walking away from the three of you. You needed to bring all of your work equipment, the email didn't say how long this quarantine would last. 

"I would give you a hug but I'm sweaty." Jeongguk says looking down at you with a smile. You hum in agreement watching how his abs flex against his tan skin before turning to Jimin before peaking down the hallway to make sure Taehyung was gone. 

"I fucking hate you." You tell him poking your finger into his chest. Jimin smiles widely, his teeth on display as he giggles. 

"You love me." You roll your eyes as Jeongguk tilts his head. 

"I'm missing something." Jimin leaves you both to walk towards the grandiose kitchen. 

"Oh! Y/N wants to suck Taehyung's cock." Jimin says flippantly, your face burning as you turn to him. 

"YAH!" You yell making Jeongguk laugh loudly. He was close to you, as well, nothing was awkward when Kookie was around. 

"Ahhh, yeah. It's okay. Everyone knows noona, just not Taehyung hyung because he's an idiot." Jeongguk grabs his water bottle off the coffee table before ruffling your hair. 

"I'm going to take a shower." Jimin pulls an instant ramen out of the cupboard as Jeongguk leaves you to your own devices. 

"What do you mean everyone knows?!" You call to him making Jimin chuckle. "Y/N. Everyone knows you like Taehyung. It's not a fucking secret. He's handsome. We get it." You fold your arms before pouting. 

"I'm trying really hard to not show it!" You whine shuffling over to the large island countertop and leaning on it. Jimin hums before turning on the water kettle. 

"I know. I know." He leans over and puts his hand over yours as you look up at him with sad eyes. His chuckle resounds throughout the empty room before patting your hand. "Ramyeon?" You nod before putting your forehead to the counter.

Taehyung slings your heavy bags onto the guest bedroom bed with a groan. He was more than happy to help you carry your stuff, he did beg Jimin to take him with him this morning. He couldn't wait to see you again. You were a fresh breath of air for him, your smile making his heart feel lighter than a feather whenever he sees you. Taehyung opens the door quietly, dying to get back out to your presence. 

"Oh. Y/N wants to suck Taehyung's cock." He hears Jimin say and Taehyung goes wide eyed. You do?! You like him?! Why hasn't he seen this before?! He has never gotten the notion that you like him. 

"YAH!" Your screech makes Taehyung smile as he sits in the doorway craning his neck to listen to the situation. 

"Ahhh, yeah. It's okay. Everyone knows noona, just not Taehyung hyung because he's an idiot." Taehyung scoffs before laying down on his back. His heart beginning to flutter. He's liked you for a while, a long while in fact. 

"Amazing." He whispers as Jeongguk announces he's going to take a shower. Taehyung sits up fast before grabbing on to Jeongguk's ankle as he walks past. Jeongguk jumps scared before putting his hand on his heart and staring down at Taehyung. Taehyung pulls him into the room before shutting the door.

Jeongguk sits on the floor in front of Taehyung with a big bunny smile and a nose wrinkle. 

"She likes me?" He whispers quietly to Guk. Jeongguk rolls his eyes with a laugh, "Hyung, she's liked you for years." Taehyung goes wide eyed before smiling. 

"Really?!" Jeongguk nods with a laugh. 

"Yeah! Since she met you probably." 

"No fucking way." Jeongguk hums in agreement, "Do you like her too?" Of course he did, you were gorgeous to him. The smile he gives Guk gives him up right away. Jeongguk chuckles before clapping his hands. 

"Quarantine is looking fun for you, then." Jeongguk stands back up before stretching. Taehyung puts his hand under his chin as Guk leaves him to his own thoughts. Taehyung couldn't just outright tell you he liked you, he has to make a plan. But, you would be his by the time this quarantine is over.

Taehyung walks down the hallway as you eat ramyeon with Jimin. You were laughing and talking, Taehyung's heart swelling as he watches you so happy. 

"Y/N!" Taehyung calls to you, you tilt your head as he brushes his fingers along your back making you shiver. 

"What?" You ask as he leans next to you. 

"Feed me." He says putting his head close to you as he leans his body weight into you. 

"Go make your own!" Jimin says with a laugh.

Taehyung hums in disagreement before pouting and opening his mouth. His face was so close to yours you could pass out. He is the most gorgeous person on the face of this Earth. You pick up some ramyeon before bringing it to his mouth. He slurps your noodles before winking at you. Is it hot in here or is it just you? Jimin watches Taehyung confused, he's never advanced at you in such a way. Jimin does in fact know that Taehyung likes you, he's known Tae for a long time and there were never secrets between these two best friends. Taehyung's fingers find the hem of your shirt before dipping his warm hand underneath the fabric. You sit up straighter in shock as his thumb rubs at your bare skin. Your teeth gnawing at the inside of your bottom lip as he chews the noodles. 

"Thanks. I'm so hungry." Jimin nods to himself, he knows what this kid is doing. Taehyung is sneaky, he probably heard the conversation and Jimin is almost certain he would be hearing loud moans by the end of this quarantine week. With a snort he stands up throwing his chopsticks in the sink and the paper ramyeon cup in the garbage. You look over at Jimin quickly as he leaves you alone with Taehyung. Whining mentally as Taehyung stands back up towering over your figure. 

"I have to...to go and set up my room...So." Taehyung hums in agreement rubbing at your skin. 

"Don't let me stop you." You nod slowly before standing up quickly. He watches in amusement as you trip over your own two feet practically running to your room. He grabs the cup of ramyeon before smirking into the noodles. 

"Oh, this. This is going to be fun." He bites his bottom lip as he watches your ass shake as you quickly open up the door to the room. Taehyung sits down on the stool you were on before sighing happily. 

You were working on translating the newest episode of RUN BTS. After the earlier incident with Taehyung touching you, you could still feel his fingers on your back. His touch was so smooth and delicate, you could barely focus on the episode. You told Jimin you weren't feeling too well, you had indigestion from the ramyeon so you would just stay in your room for now. And, like always he didn't push you even though he knew you were lying. You mouse back over the footage shaking your head trying to pay attention as Taehyung comes up on screen. His laugh screeches throughout the room making you smile as he throws himself back onto the floor at a game. You put the pen in your hand in your mouth as you giggle at his ridiculousness. 

"Hyung! Stop intentionally trying to make people laugh." You put your hand under your chin, forgetting your job and focusing on his handsome face as his open mouthed laugh makes you do so as well. Taehyung walks past your room before stopping as he hears his own laugh. He leans against the door frame watching you watch him with love in your eyes. It makes him smile, you were so enraptured with him how has he never noticed before? 

"Silly." You mumble as the camera changes to Jeongguk and you pull the pen out of your mouth to write down what Taehyung has said. You liked him and only him and it makes his heart soar. You laugh loudly at the small comments Taehyung makes in the background writing them down. Taehyung puts his hand over his heart before pushing off of your door frame and knocking on the door. You giggle pausing the video before looking at him. 

"What're you doing?" He asks with a smile. You smile back at him before pointing at the computer. 

"Working." You tell him calming your fit of giggles. He chuckles walking into the room. 

"Can I join you?" You nod as he sits on the bed. You play the video sitting back in the comfy desk chair as Jeongguk continues to try to win at the game. Taehyung begins to laugh recalling that day. 

"That was so much fun. I felt like I was in middle school again." You look over at him taking in his gorgeous facial features before smiling. He cranes his neck to look at the screen before standing. 

"Sit on my lap. I can't see very well." You look up nervously and he gives you a small smirk. You stand up letting him throw himself down in the chair as he wraps his arm around your waist pulling you into his lap. You go rigid with a gasp as you feel his toned thighs underneath you. He smiles to himself feeling your body on his, how comfortable this all is. And, all Taehyung can do is chide himself that he hasn't made any advances at you sooner. He looks over your shoulder at the English translations. 

"Wah. You're so smart." He says rubbing your bare arm nonchalantly as he tries to read the English. You were uncomfortable but it was all on your part. You keep telling yourself to relax but the ever present rub of Taehyung's hand has your heart beating faster. He leans back in the chair watching a nervous sweat begins to build on the back of your neck. So he really does make you nervous. He smirks before watching you write something down. All you could do is try to focus on this episode. Taehyung bites his lip through the screen and you could feel lust encasing you. He was so sexy, it was almost unfair. Taehyung takes into account how you press your thighs together as you watch him on the screen. His cock stirring in his pants as he looks down at your ass on his lap. Fuck, if he could only grab it. You were the epitome of everything wanted, and he has wanted you for a long time. The lazy strokes of his hand on your arm make him clear his throat. Your skin was so soft, he wanted to feel your skin heating up underneath him. 

"What do you want to eat for dinner? I'll order us some food." You look back at him as he bites his lip. To see him doing that so close to you, you feel as if the wind has been knocked out of you. 

"Fried chicken? Jajjangmyeon? Galguksu?" With every word he rubs at your arm harder. You suppress a whimper as he brushes some hair over your shoulder. "Whatever you want I'll get it for you." He whispers sitting up letting his hard cock brush against the curve of your ass. You squeak audibly as you feel him so hard against you. 

"I'll do whatever you want me to." He whispers leaning in closer to you pulling your legs so you were sitting on him sideways. His large hand gripping at your thigh as you begin to blush. 

"Whatever you want." You mumble pausing the video. Taehyung hums before slowly licking his lips. 

"I know what I want." He leans in, his lips inches away as he kneads the skin of your thigh. "Fried chicken." He whispers before leaning back and pulling out his phone. 

You blink a few times, your brain trying to process the scene that just unraveled before your eyes. How could you stay in this house with him for a week or maybe more?! You could still feel his boner as you play the video. You try to turn back around but his grip on you tightens as he continues to scroll through his phone. 

"I have to work." You whisper, you didn't even sound like you. Your voice was thick with lust and wanting and it makes Taehyung smirk. 

"So work." He puts down his phone before biting his lip grabbing your chin with his thumb and index finger. You look at him, watching his teeth clasp his lip tightly. Your thighs pressing together to the point of pain as your knees dig into one another. 

"I ordered the food." He whispers running his thumb over your bottom lip. "Okay." You mumble feeling your face flush pink.

Jimin walks by the room, glancing once before almost breaking his neck as he watches Taehyung grip you tighter to him. "Work." Taehyung says nodding his head to the computer. 

"I can't see the screen like this." You sound feeble and it makes Jimin want to laugh. Never once in your life has he heard you so meek. Taehyung hums in agreement before letting your thigh go. You turn back around before clearing your throat and narrowing your eyes at the screen. Taehyung fixes his erection in his pants before pulling you back to him. And, now Jimin has seen too much as he scurries off to the living room with a knowing smile. You sigh almost too content as you feel his cock against your ass. Now, you know he likes you too. Or, he finds you sexy at least. How would you be able to cope? Taehyung sits up with a groan wrapping his arms around your waist. 

"The food will be here soon." You nod to him as you write down something Namjoon is saying. Taehyung begins to hum behind you rubbing at your sides. His voice is so melodic and gentle as he lifts your shirt up slightly. You take in a deep breath as he slides his hands over your skin.

"Am I distracting you?" You shake your head before closing your eyes relishing his touch. "Good." His voice was even deeper as you find yourself bucking back against his hard cock making his eyebrows furrow together. Taehyung's eyes rake over your frame before gripping at your hips harder making you gasp. The sexual tension between you both so thick it could be cut with a butter knife. 

"I'm so happy you came to stay with us." He whispers leaning in, his lips against the shell of your ear. "M-Me too." He hums before biting his lip. 

"Fuck." He whispers against you and you want to faint. Honestly, just pass out on the floor and be left there. Jimin calls his name loudly and he rolls his eyes. 

"Let me go get the food. Hmm?" You stand up on shaky legs as he stands up behind you pushing the chair back. His hard cock grazing your ass intentionally as he walks out of the room. You watch him leave without a glance before putting your hand over your face and throwing yourself on the floor.

You eye Taehyung carefully as he sits across from you talking to Seokjin. "Hello? I'm talking to you." Your best friend says for the second time waving his greasy hand in your face. You look over at Jimin as he munches on a chicken leg. 

"Hmmm?" You mumble before looking at Taehyung as he takes his shirt off. His golden skin and toned body calling out to you as you tilt your head. He looks over before winking and biting his lip. 

"I asked you if you wanted to watch a movie." Jimin says loudly, "I have work to do." You reply as Taehyung drinks his coke. 

His Adam's apple bobbing as he hums in agreement with something Seokjin has said. You couldn't get over earlier, how hard he left underneath you. How tight his grasp was on your body. It makes your face flush just thinking about it. 

"It's your day off." Jimin says pulling your face to look at him instead of Taehyung. "Yeah but still ARMY need content to get through quarantine." You tell him trying to push the image out of your mind. 

"You're such a good person." He whines before hugging you. You look at Taehyung again as he stares at you biting his lip. Your thighs pressing together as he stands up gathering the garbage from the food. 

You lay in bed, your phone in your hand as you watch a Taehyung focused fancam. The way he chews gum when he's feeling himself makes you bite your lip. He was so sexy, it was almost unreal. The constant thought of him rubbing against you is constantly on your mind. "Shit." You mumble dipping your fingers into your underwear. 

Taehyung takes off his headphones only to hear muffled noise through the wall. He furrows his eyebrows before standing up off his bed and pressing his ear to the wall. 

"Louder than bombs." He mumbles to himself before opening his door. It was four o'clock in the morning everyone was asleep aside from you and him. As Taehyung stands outside of your room, he can hear small moans and panting making him curious. What a naughty little girl you are, masturbating in the guest room. He can only wonder what you're watching to get you so excited. It better be something of him.

Without warning he opens your bedroom door. Your hand stuffed into your panties as you watch your screen. You gasp loudly, throwing your phone as Taehyung enters pressing his finger to his lips. You burn red with embarrassment as Taehyung shuts the door. 

"What're you watching that has you so excited?" He asks looking down at your phone on the floor. He hums impressed as you take your hand out of your underwear. 

"A fancam?" He asks, picking your phone up watching as he bites his lip on screen. He chuckles locking the phone before kneeling on the bed above you. 

"I'm right here. You could have just come next door and asked me to bite my lip for you." This was NOT happening. You are dying of embarrassment. Taehyung grabs your hand that was touching yourself before smiling. 

"You have a crush on me don't you, Y/N?" Crush was not the word to describe your emotions for him. You could barely form a sentence, you want to cry from the embarrassment you feel. Taehyung brings your hand to his mouth before kissing your fingers. 

"I have a crush on you." He notifies you before entering your fingers into his mouth. He moans at your taste before climbing on top of you. Your body begins to heat up under him as you whimper out. 

"You do?" He hums taking in the sight of your practically naked body. "Fuck, yes I do." 

This was new to you. He never made it known that he likes you! 

"Didn't you feel how hard I was earlier? My cock is begging for you." You swallow thickly looking up at him. His dark brown eyes boring into yours as he bites his lip. 

"I like you too." You don't know where the confidence came from to tell him but you were grateful as his lips pressed into yours. His cherry tasting lips full and flush against you as you widen your eyes at the kiss. 

"You don't know what you do to me, baby." The pet name has you whimpering as his lips trail lazily to your neck. "I've liked you for years. You're so beautiful." You close your eyes as he suckles gently on your skin. 

"I've wanted to make you mine for so long. Dying to feel you underneath me." You gasp as he nips at your skin. Your shaky hands grabbing at his naked biceps as he kisses down your clavicle. 

"Tell me you want me too." Taehyung grabs at your legs wrapping them around his waist pressing his erection against you. "I want you too. So much." He smiles before leaning up and kissing you. Moaning into the kiss as both of your wishes begin to become reality. 

"Fuck, you're so gorgeous." You head lulling back as he takes off your sleep shirt. Your breasts swaying as Taehyung takes in a sharp breath between his teeth. 

"You don't know how many times I've wished to see these pretty little nipples." Your core beginning to weep for him as he encases your nipple between his lips. The tip of his tongue flicking against your areola as moans roll out of your mouth. 

"Taehyung." He lifts his head up palming at your breast. 

"Say my name again. I love when you call my name." His fingers pinching and rolling you nipples as you call his name once more. He groans in agreement before bending back down to lavish your unattended breast. 

"Fuck!" Your hands gripping harder at his arms as he plucks at your nipples with his lips. 

"I remember when I first went over your house and you had no bra on. Your titties were teasing me since then. Your nipples so hard pressing against the fabric of that lavender shirt." Taehyung palms his erection recalling the memory perfectly. You look up at him as he runs his hands down your sides. 

"Will you let me take you tonight, baby? Let me make you mine?" You cannot believe this is happening. This was unreal, you never thought he would like you in the same way. "Yes." You whisper making him smile, he kisses you deeply. 

His tongue grazing over yours as he presses his lower body into you harder. "Fuck, I'm so hard for you." He pulls off his boxers and you can't help but ogle his size. He was long and thick, the head precumming making your mouth water. 

"I've been thinking about this for years. Shit." He whispers as you strip yourself of your panties. Taehyung backs up to take in your body. Your pussy dripping with arousal onto the bed sheets making him groan gently. 

"So fucking wet for me." His arms snaking around your thighs as he buries his face between your legs. "Your pussy must taste so sweet." His tongue peaks out caressing your engorged clit making your thighs press against his head. 

"Tae!" He groans in agreement as he flicks his tongue quicker against you. He was skilled with his tongue, that's for sure. Your body bowing off the bed as you grip at his black hair. 

"Fuck, you taste so good." He mumbles before burying his face back into you. His chin and cheek coated in your arousal as the sound of his filthy slurping resounds throughout the quiet room. You press his head down harder with a whimper. 

"Good girl." He mumbles before letting go of your thigh. His slender finger grazing against your entrance before entering. "Taehyung!" 

"So tight, fuck. You're such a good little girl, aren't you? Such a tight little pussy for me." You can't take your eyes off of him as he eats you out like it's his job. You can feel your stomach clenching tighter, your orgasm approaching at a rapid pace. Taehyung enters another finger scissoring at your pussy so you'll be able to take him comfortably. His fingers stroking upwards at the rough patch within you making you sob for him. 

"Cum on my face. I want you to cum for me, baby." 

"I'm so close." With those three words he gets to work. Suckling on your clit, stroking your g-spot faster and even toying with the rim of your asshole. 

"Fuck! Tae!" The clenching within you tightens so hard before releasing. You moan his name loudly gripping at his head. "Good girl." He praises before sitting up. He watches as you come down from your high with a smirk. He's always wondered what this would be like and now he's here experiencing it. He bends down once more to suckle on your nipple.

His hand leisurely stroking his cock as you watch precum weep down the long length. "Come suck on your boyfriends cock." He whispers sitting back against the wall. You smile as he calls himself yours before sitting up for him. 

Your hand grips at his cock and his eyes flutter shut at the feeling. "Oh fuck." He whimpers as you begin to stroke him. Your tongue licking up his length gathering his salty precum on your tongue. 

"Y/N." Taehyung moans and you feel yourself becoming wet for him all over again. Taehyung pushes open your legs as you swirl your tongue around the head before dipping your head down. A large gasp emitting throughout the room before biting his lip harshly. You fuck his cock into your mouth as he begins to play with your nipples. Pinching and rolling them in his fingers as you moan on him. The vibration making his cock shoot precum on to your tongue as his head lulls back against the wall. 

"Look at me." Taehyung whispers caressing your cheek with his thumb as he lifts his head. 

"You suck my cock so well. Fuck!" You give his tongue flat licks as you swallow him to the hilt. Your nose nestling against his bare public bone. 

"Oh shit!" He moans loudly before dipping sitting up straighter. His fingers rubbing at your clit making you a moaning mess on his cock as your eyes begin to water. 

"Fuck, you look so pretty stuffing my cock in your mouth." You can feel his cock begin to throb on your tongue. He quickens his circles as your stare at each other. Spit and precum rolling down his cock and balls as he moans your name. 

"Such a good little cock slut you are for me." You moan against him feeling your second orgasm oncoming. His fingers on your clit constantly lubed with your arousal. 

"So fucking wet, too. You love my big cock. Oh, baby!" He moans before gripping at your hair and thrusting his cock upwards. "I'm going to cum! Fuck! Let me cum in your mouth!" You whimper before orgasming as he lifts the hood of your clit. His abs pressing tightly to his stomach as he groans loudly. Your body sagging as you squirt on the bed.

 "Oh fuck! You're so sexy! Jesus Christ!" His cock pumping into you roughly before stilling in your mouth as his warm cum spreads over your tongue and throat. Taehyung lets out a shaky sigh as you lift off of him.

He grabs your hips before throwing you down on the bed. "You squirted all over the bed, baby. I want you to squirt on my cock. Fuck." He whispers, running his fingers over the wet sheets before spreading your legs. You press your fingers to your swollen lips as Taehyung strokes himself back to being rock hard. 

"Look how eager my girlfriend is to take my cock. Hmm?" He whispers before settling himself between your legs and kissing you deeply. You moan against his lips as he teases your swollen pussy with the head of his cock. He pulls back just to watch how nice his cock looks spreading your wet lips. 

"Fucking gorgeous." He whispers before looking back up at you and smiling. You can't help but smile back before moaning as he rubs the head of his cock harshly against your overly sensitive clit. 

"Tae!" Your hands fly into his hair as he aligns himself to you. 

"Baby." Taehyung whispers before kissing you gently. His hips thrusting into you slowly as your mouths fall open in tandem. Taehyung's forehead rests against yours as he buries himself to the hilt. A wordless whimper emitting from him as he presses his whole weight into you. His face burying itself in your neck as he pulls out of you at a snails pace. 

"Oh my God." He mutters in English before snapping his hips back in. 

"You're so tight!" Your head falls back as he begins to piston himself inside you. 

"Taehyung!" He groans in agreement before tucking his bottom lip between his teeth. He picks himself up to watch your breasts bounce with every thrust. 

"You're so perfect. I've been dying to have you for so long I'm not going to last." His voice was deep and whiny as he pulls your legs up to your chest. You moan loudly at the new angle as his cock caresses your g-spot with every thrust. A sheen sweat building on him as he grips at your knees. 

"Your pussy feels so fucking good. Nice and wet for my cock. Fuck!" You moan his name as he relentlessly pounds into you. The bed beginning to smack into the wall which only goads him on to fuck you properly. Taehyung spits on your pussy before rubbing at your clit. 

"It's too much!" You whine out as your head swims in pleasure. "You can take it, baby. You can cum on my big cock. C'mon." He moans loudly putting his head back as you rake your hands over his chest and stomach. Taehyung can feel his balls tightening as you moan loudly for him. Your wet pussy being filled is like music to his ears as his mouth goes dry. 

"Oh fuck! I'm so close to fucking you full of my cum!" You whimper out as you grip his arms. "Yes! Fuck! Tae, right there!" He drills into you harder, the pleasure of his cock meeting your cervix entrance has you orgasming for the third time within warnings. You cum on his cock as your ears ring. 

"Oh Christ! You're so sexy! Squirting all over my cock!" He whimpers loudly as you open your eyes watching his legs and lower stomach get coated in your cum. You could feel his thrusts becoming sloppy as he whimpers your name with a soft voice. His cock throbbing harshly within you. 

"Y/N! I'm cumming! Fuck!" Taehyung stills within you moaning loudly throwing his head back. His hips giving small thrusts as you feel his warm cum spray your walls. You moan out exhausted as Taehyung lays his whole weight on you. 

"Oh fuck. That was amazing." He mumbles, his lips lazily running over your skin before pulling out of you.

He flips you on to your side before shoving his semi-erect cock back inside of you. "What're you doing?" You ask with a giggle, "I'm sleeping with my girlfriend." He mumbles before kissing your cheek and holding you tightly to him.

 "With your dick inside me?" He hums in agreement as he buries his face in your hair. 

"Your pussy feels so nice and warm. I love it. I never want to leave." You laugh quietly at his silliness making him smirk. 

"I've wanted you for so long, baby. You don't even know." You close your eyes with a smile, "Me too." You turn your head to kiss him and he kisses back eagerly. 

"Let's sleep now." He mumbles putting his face into your back as you both get comfortable with each other.

You stir from your sleep feeling fingers run up and down your side, the morning sun shrouding the room with bright light as you turn your head. "Morning, beautiful." 

It was almost unreal to see Taehyung behind you. Yesterday was real! You smile at him as he kisses your cheek. "Good morning." He hums to you before pulling out of you and sitting up. He watches with a smirk as his cum gushes out of your pussy. 

"Fuck, we made such a mess." He laughs running his fingers through his hair. You giggle sitting up as he pulls you to his chest. "Let's get cleaned up and we'll have something to eat." He mumbles before scooping you up bridal style and walking over to the bathroom.

You sit on the couch next to Tae, his arm over your shoulder as he buries his face in your hair. "Oh! Look! They came out of the room!" Jimin yells loudly as he walks down the hallway. You turn to him before narrowing your eyes as Taehyung smiles into your hair. 

"At least quarantine is working out well for someone." Namjoon says entering the kitchen. Yoongi stomps down the hallway, his bed hair standing up straight making you laugh loudly as he points at the both of you. 

"If you wake me up again at four forty in the morning. I'll kill you." You bow your head to him as he sneers. 

"I'm sorry oppa." Taehyung gives a small chuckle pulling away from you as he looks at his members. 

"Why don't we all just appreciate that we are healthy and don't have the virus." Jimin tilts his head sucking a breath in through his teeth while throwing a microwaveable rice in the microwave.

"You're infected though." He says before turning to the both of you leaning against the counter. You tilt your head confused. 

"Infected? No, we aren't we passed the test." Jimin smiles, "You are infected. You got the love infection." Making Namjoon laugh loudly throwing his head back. Taehyung chuckles before kissing your temple. 

"I am infected." He mumbles before squeezing you close to him. Quarantine really isn't so bad.

#taehyung x reader #bts smut #bts imagine #bts story #bts series #lock down #kim taehyung #v #bts taehyung #jimin #jeongguk #jungkook #seokjin #yoongi #hoseok

[kyle-valenti]

burnout only feels like burning

2.7k / Summary: kyle valenti doesn't have the same quarantine as his friends; an exploration of kyle's trauma during covid as a doctor. (tw depression & other triggers you’d imagine with this subject)

read & comment/ ao3

A little like the virus itself, Kyle’s relationship with his mask begins with worry, annoyance, and then pain. He’s more than happy to have the proper N-95 mask as they begin to get their first case at Roswell General but then a couple more patients trickle in and within a few days his skin is irritated and itching. Maybe it’s the news, maybe it’s the texts from his friends that he’s increasingly missing, but when the Regiment starts spouting off about how COVID is a joke he thinks it might be affecting his nerves too. By week three his former red mark left by the mask has become a permanent feature to his face and by week five it’s not a mark but a bruise instead. Blisters and cracks in his skin litter his hands from over-washing. His feet become so overused the pads of his feet feel numb and bruised and he wears through an entire pair of shoes.

Positivity has fled from his life by week seven and now he’s inside of a survival mode he’s never experienced. He thought after last year he’d be used to anything the world (or universe, rather, given all these aliens) could throw at him. Now what feels foolish, he had believed that there was nothing that could be worse than the previous pain of losing a patient or finding out his father had experimented on people’s lives. 

When he’s out of ventilators and CPAP machines because Albuquerque needs them more and he has to choose whether or not to save the life of an eighty five year old or a thirty two year old he remembers from high school, he breaks.

 Guilt is one thing, grief is another, but the pure rage he feels knowing that Max Evans is out on the town patrolling as some fucking cop and not someone who could heal most of this hospital makes him want to commit actual murder. Maybe trading the blood of an alien on his hands would feel less heart-wrenching. But no. Max had brought back Rosa and had paid the price. Quelling his anger, he went back to work.

 He slept at the hospital most nights in the height of it. Sure the couch was rough, but it was better than the other on-call doctor beds down the hall. Three twelve hour ER shifts of a usual work week doubled to five days of thirteen hour shifts. Soon there’s a week where he pulls double shifts for an entire week when one of his nurses is urgently hospitalized herself. Hospital directors had left them with no PPE except contaminated masks to reuse. Maria, Isobel, and Rosa are in the forefront of a drive to make and donate masks to his hospital after some social media posts that he doesn’t even see until the cloth masks arrive and his medical assistants give him their handwritten note. It makes him smile, but smiling feels so foreign that he almost wants to break from that.

 Visitors are no longer allowed which means Kyle isn’t allowed to use his bedside manner to comfort the family of patients. He has to facetime mothers, spouses, and children and hold the phone over a patient who can’t breathe without machine assistance and pretend that everything is fine and that there’s still hope despite the hypoxia and lack of rising vitals. Ignore that if the patient goes into cardiac arrest more than once, the kindest thing to do given prognosis is to let the patient pass. Resuscitation and DNR (a patient’s begging request to not be resuscitated) becomes a word he uses in his daily work and not simply for intense surgeries.

 Exhaustion isn’t a deep enough adjective to describe the fugue state he goes into. File to file, room to room, ventilator to next… he isn’t surprised when his body starts to wear down. When he no longer feels hunger and instead feels all too hot and dizzy. Telling himself it’s just because of how much he’s exerting his body while covered in layers and layers of protective clothing doesn’t help the fact that he’s starting to have more trouble breathing as he walks the hallways at a fast pace. When he begins to cough, he does what he promised himself he wouldn’t do and drives out post-shift to the desert cabin of Max Evans.

 Part of him is too desperately tired to knock, but when he arrives on the property with the cop car idle and the house dark and at peace for the night, his fury greets him with the embrace of a long-lost friend. Knuckles pound at the wood and Max answers the door with surprise and a general look of defense, and Kyle tries not to immediately punch him in the face at the fact he looks like he had woken up from a comfortable sleep.

 “Heal me.” Kyle manages to spit out.

 “I—what’s wrong?”

 “Beginning stages of respiratory distress, fever, nausea—what do you fucking think?”

 “Kyle—,” Max starts to say, the hesitation deepening, and that does it.

 “No. I have not asked you for anything in all of this, Evans. Anything!” He shouts, voice hoarse. “Not when people got sick, not when they started dying, not even when we started having to let people die on purpose. And you know what? I wasn’t going to even come and ask you now, but I can’t get sick when I’m the one here fucking saving lives out of the two of us and you’re just cruising the streets handing out goddamn traffic tickets.”

 Max’s face isn’t stony like it usually is when Kyle’s yelling at him; this time it’s crushed and guilty but not nearly enough. “What kind of hours you work this week, Evans? A nice 8 to 4? Did you get facetime with Isobel or your mom, maybe binge through a few books and movies after you’re home? Did you sit down and eat a nice dinner and or go over to drink a few beers with Guerin since you can’t get sick? Even get a nice eight hours of sleep in your own bed in your nice quiet home?”

 No response.

 “I am not asking to sequence your DNA like Liz. All I am asking is for you to let me heal people since you don’t want to.”

 A night breeze is all that makes noise for a moment as Kyle catches his breath and glares at Max, who stands quietly but is staring down at his boots before he finally looks up and nods. Max steps forward then, and Kyle sees that his eyes are actually filled with tears. Temper deflating, but still not subsiding entirely, given that not much else is able to be done; Kyle lets Max place a hand on his shoulder and feels the extremely weird feeling spread throughout his body. Something more electric than anything else, which God knew made a lot more sense concerning his powers and how the body operated with electrical nerve impulses, but that is a train of thought better left for another day. He wants to just walk away, and he almost does, but he still mutters a “thank you” before he does so.

When his nurse dies a few days later and he watches as the staff double bag her body to take to the morgue, he escapes to his office and crashes on his couch with sobs. There’s no one here to support him. He can’t go to his mother’s home and collapse into one of her comforting embraces without risking infecting her. He can’t get wasted at the Wild Pony with Maria when it’s closed. He can’t visit Rosa or Arturo at the Crashdown. Keeping his friends and family safe meant keeping them away from him. Keeping them safe meant he needed to stop pushing his head into his hands to try and control the sound of his crying and get back to work at saving the lives around them.

He gets put on leave by the hospital administrator when he’s almost arrested for decking Wyatt Long in the hospital parking lot as the idiot stood outside with a sign rallying Regiment members to make sure the hospital was told it was killing people on purpose for the election. If Jenna hadn’t been the officer on duty he would have been cuffed and put on record, jeopardizing his license, but there was some self-preserving part of him that desperately wished for his practice to be over anyway. He’s not even sure how Jenna handles it, honestly, all he remembers is her dropping him off at his house from her patrol car like she had been nothing but an uber. No matter how angry and adamant he gets, his boss refuses to bend, saying it’s for his own good given the connections the Long’s have in the town and how Kyle has worked almost 74 of the past 76 days.

Alex is the first to visit him, unannounced. When the doorbell rings Kyle is mindlessly pretending to watch some tv show in his living room that’ll distract him from his consuming thoughts about patients, so he doesn’t get up to answer. He checks his silent phone to see if he was forewarned of a visitor but sees nothing. Unsure if it’s his boss or a patient’s family, he forces himself up onto his sore feet and opens the door after grabbing a regular mask off the coffee table. Black face mask on and standing further out from the door on the porch is Alex, the usual gruff hello turned into something soft. “Hey.”

Kyle heaves a sigh. He had wondered when the pity visits would begin. “Hey. You really shouldn’t be around me, you know.”

“I’m clearly a minimum of eight feet away in an open space while masked.” Alex smarts back. “Either way, I’m worried about you.”

Scoffing, he shakes his head. “Don’t fucking worry about me. Worry about getting sick, because if I have to see another person I care about die, I--,”

“Kyle.” the other says too kindly, the sort of pacifying voice Alex reserved for only the most dire situations. “I have no idea what you’re dealing with in specifics, but my experiences do overlap with yours in some places.”

“And?”

Maybe it came out a little too rude, because Alex raises a brow, but then sighs instead. “And I’m just checking in to make sure you know people care about you.”

“Thanks, Manes.” Kyle huffs in return, managing not to roll his eyes because focusing on being blunt and abrasive was so much easier.

“Just be careful.” Alex interjects before Kyle could close the door and turn back to his show. “Dealing with the trauma of what you’re dealing with gets dark very quickly.”

“Because I punched Wyatt Long?” he spits back sarcastically.

“No, because the suicide rates for healthcare professionals are drastically increasing along with the rates of PTSD diagnoses.” Alex says flatly, ever one to be unfazed by sarcasm. “And I’ve lost more active duty members to suicide than I have combat.”

Kyle pauses, caught. Maybe Alex had known he would be, because there isn’t some way he can give a smile and reassuring wave with him like he could his mother or Liz. While Kyle hadn’t actively thought of a plan, he couldn’t pretend he had noticed signs of depression the second he was alone in his house. 

“The quiet is the worst part, right?” Alex says, all but reading his mind. “Not always because of the flashbacks, although those are horrible, but because if things are quiet then--,”

“--people are dying.” Kyle finishes, his voice raspier by the end of the three words. “Yeah, well, mine still are.”

“They’re going to.” Is what felt like a cold response, but somehow gave Kyle the understanding he’s been craving. “They’re going to die and because of your profession you’re going to be able to save some of them. Which will make you think you’re responsible to save all of them and because you’re a good person you’re going to feel guilty in ways that no one will understand for being human and failing to.”

“Failing is all I do lately.” Kyle replies. “Usually the wins feel higher than the losses as a doctor, but with this-- and no one outside of it cares. They go outside and yell about how this is about a fucking election and when it’s not the patients, it’s the hospital pretending they don’t have enough money to buy us proper protection. Or the government saying this will all go away and that it’s just a light cold.”

Alex gives a small nod. “I know. I also know telling you the same advice that you’d give another doctor of trying not to burn out and instead taking a small rest is useless. So I’m just going to drop off these dvd’s and make you report back to me the difference when you’re done.”

Star Trek and Star Wars. Kyle finds a smile tug on his lips. Alex leaves with one on his as well.

When he gives a response to Alex a few days later on how Star Wars is better not more than a few minutes later Deluca is texting him with recommendations on joining her Buffy the Vampire Slayer rewatch. There’s something sweet about the fact that people have been clearly talking about him, even if definitely borderline creepy with how nosy his circle of friends can be, but he sighs and lets Maria add him to the group chat she has with Rosa and Liz where they review each episode after the fact and even chimes in every now and then. Isobel gets added not long after due to an Instagram story Maria shares and then the group has moved onto Friends after everyone shoots down Liz for suggesting Grey’s Anatomy on behalf of Kyle. Alex is also in there, even if it’s rare he chimes in with an opinion, but once they start Friends his commentary about how much he hates Ross that gets the entire group riled up does tend to make him laugh. Even Kyle agrees with Forest-- whose opinion had been shared by Alex-- that Chandler had all too many queer-coded scenes with Joey.

His mother facetimes him daily, which given how they both don’t exactly go out much starts to become monotonous, until she begins to give in and talk about memories she has of their father. Tidbits she never would have shared with him about their adult life when he was a child or teenager. He in turn facetimes Rosa and shares some of the memories of their father as well, which as much as she tries to pretend she doesn’t want for Arturo’s sake she clearly does with the million questions she asks every single time and the small smile she gives him at the end of their calls.

Liz updates him on her work which is a nice reprieve from everyone’s normalcy and lack of medical jargon sometimes, especially when she gives him inside info on covid vaccine studies not yet published to the general public yet. Everything in him wants this more than anything else in the world right now and he texts her almost every day asking if she’s heard more news even when he knows things take time. She’s a good sport about everything, even when he shares in a very angry rant about Max Evans and how they could have helped so many more people so much more quickly with his DNA-- however selfish that might have been.

When he goes back to work, he feels refreshed, even when it makes things hit like a freight train once more. Lost in a sea of inadequacy, his feelings extend past the pandemic. Even when things return to a level of normalcy and the cases subside he gets alien medical drama thrown in his face once more, and he starts to wonder if he’ll ever recover. If he was wrong to choose this calling. If the fact he can’t help Max or Maria is a sign from above or his father that it’s time to make some career move or change location like his mother and Liz. But, like he tells Michael Guerin. He can’t think he can face his future children and say he walked away from this. Or let people die by quitting, just like Rosa warns. And so he stays and tries to heal both other people and himself.

#so yeah this was the lighter version #i had to stop before things got to dark for my own mind #also genuinely feel like the mentions he gives to rosa about feeling lost #should stem from this if the writers aren't cowards #kyle valenti #rnm fic #kyle valenti fic #roswell new mexico #tw covid #tw depression #my fic #my post

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Quarantine: A Love Story {16}**

Chris Evans x Reader Series

Warning: Cursing, Angst, Fluff, SMUT, NSFW, LOTS OF WORDS

Words: 8.6k

Note: Okay, so this is no longer a mini-series, we’re at a full-fledged series. Recommended listening toward the end of this chapter is Ocean Eyes by Billie Eilish. 

I hope you guys enjoy this. If you enjoyed this LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG. Thank you for reading as always!!! ❤️❤️

***Loosely Edited/Proofread***

Previous Chapters:  Q1 |  Q2 |  Q3 |  Q4 |  Q5 |  Q6 |  Q7 |  Q8 |  Q9 | Q10 | Q11 | Q12 | Q13 | Q14 | Q15 | 

~~~~~~~~~~~

-Quarantine: Day 55-

  What was left to do, but leave? Yeah, there was a pandemic raging in the world right now, and everything including said world was going to shit, but that didn’t mean that you couldn’t go this thing alone. You were born alone, have lived pretty much alone, and had no problem going through this nightmare alone. You didn’t need to be here.  With the decision made, you wiped your tears, stood up, straightened your back, and walked to the bedroom with your head held high.

 Once in the room, you began packing what you’d unpacked mere weeks ago. You began calmly, keeping your jaw clenched so you wouldn’t shed any more tears. After you’d gotten one dresser emptied, you looked up into the mirror and saw nickel-sized marks across your skin. Slowly you followed the trail that began on your stomach and went along your ribs over one breast. The trail didn’t stop; it went along your collar you disappeared behind your quickly frizzing hair. Just like that, you remembered his lips on your skin. You remembered him kissing you, licking you, nibbling you, tasting your skin until you felt as if you would leap out of your skin.

 You flared your nose. It was always a mechanism you used to keep your tears at bay. It had been a long time since you had to use it. It felt as if you’d forgotten how because after almost a minute, you still felt close to tipping over the edge, and what was below you, was not something you wanted to be a part of. You gripped the edge of the furniture and squeezed.

 “Come on, come on, come on. Work!”

 You waited a few seconds, but still, the tears kept coming.

“Work, damn it!”

 Nothing. The sting in your eyes only intensified.

 “Fucking work!”

 Your shout was loud, and it boomed off the walls for several seconds. When the echo faded, your tears streamed down your cheeks.

 “Fuck,” you whispered, now using both your hands to hold onto the dresser. You took several deep breaths trying to practice the meditating breaths you learned. Groaning, you quickly realized that this wasn’t going to work either.

 You walked out of the bedroom toward the bar area and filled a glass with the first bottle you took up. You didn’t care what it was, and you also didn’t care that it wasn’t exactly after five. It was drinking time somewhere—right? You knocked back the entire glass and hissed as the burn took over. Your belly filled with the fire you knew would come, and you welcomed it. You hoped it would dull everything else you were feeling.

 You were so bent out of shape that you couldn’t even place any of your other feelings except anger. Your anger overshadowed everything. At the thought of your anger, you had thoughts about everything you’d felt over the last thirty-two hours.

 “You’re all I want to see, Y/N,”

 His voice echoed around you. It sounded like he was actually in the room with you. Bracing your hands on the bar, you closed your eyes and got sucked back into last night.

 You could feel everything again like it was happening right now. It felt like his body was pressed against yours, like his hands were on your breasts, like his mouth was between your legs.

 “Fuck!”

 You poured another glass full and gulped it down, but even the burn down your throat was not enough to dull the lingering pleasure you still felt. He was in you.

 “You look so fucking gorgeous with my dick in your mouth, Y/N.”

 You groaned, and you could actually feel his dick in your mouth. There had to be something wrong with you. No dick was this good, you thought. No dick could have you all fucked up like this.

 Biting your bottom lip, you sighed.

 “You’re perfect, so perfect. I don’t deserve you.”

 Squeezing your eyes shut, you tried to blot out his voice.

 “I’ve imagined this moment for so long.”

 You wanted to find him and kick him in the balls. A few weeks ago, you couldn’t imagine the thought of anything like what had happened in the last few hours ever happening. Now you were standing here with a drink in your hand, his voice in your head, and your desire for him writhing in you like an overriding virus.

 “This dick ain’t nothing to laugh at.”

 You slid the glass away and took the bottle up and brought it to your head instead. After two gulps, you felt it beginning to fade, felt him beginning to fade—almost.

 “As you wish.”

 His voice echoed this time, and with each echo, it faded until it was quiet, at least for a moment.

 “I have you. I will always have you.”

 Pushing through, you did your best to pull yourself together. When you got back to the bedroom, you finished packing, not wanting to waste any more time. The alcohol worked to slow your actions, but you were determined to get the hell out of there. The knock at the door startled you. You stood there as if you expected them to be able to hear you moving inside. The knock came again, then a voice.

 “Y/N?”

 You sighed, hearing Scott’s voice. The relief that flooded you quickly dissipated when you thought about telling him you were leaving. What reason would you give him? He knocked a third time, and that was when you grabbed your robe and wrapped yourself in it as you walked to the door.

 “Y/N!”

 When you opened it, Scott had his arms held open. “What the hell? Are you okay? You didn’t come to dinner last night or breakfast this morning. You’ve been MIA.”

 “I know. I wasn’t feeling well. I just wanted to lay low in case it was ya’ know.”

 “COVID? How would you have gotten it? You’re being paranoid,” Scott filled in.

 “Yeah, you’re right. I just wasn’t feeling well.”

 “You need some food. Come on, mom just put dinner out. I was sent to get you.”

 “Uh, no. Scott I just--,” you began before he cut you off.

 “No. No more excuses. You gotta eat. Let’s go.” He was walking away before you even responded.

 “No, Scott--.”

 “Let’s go now, or I’ll tell mom you’re refusing her cooking because you think her food is disgusting.”

 Your jaw dropped.

 “Really?”

 “Really. You know I’ll do it.” With that, he was gone.

 You dropped your head back and groaned before going back inside to get dressed. You knew he would do some bullshit like that. The last thing in the world you wanted was to hurt Lisa. You spent the next ten minutes putting yourself together enough both on the outside and the inside that no one would suspect anything. It was harder than it should have been.

By the time you got to the house and walked into the dining room, you saw everyone sitting around the table. They all lit up when they saw you. The closer you got, you forced yourself to smile until you saw him. Chris was sitting at the table with his fingers steepled under his chin and elbows on the table. His eyes were glued to you. Quickly you looked away and shrugged him off.

 “Are you all right? Scott said you haven’t been feeling well,” Lisa mentioned as she approached you with arms open.

 “Yeah. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to worry anyone.”

 “Oh honey, of course, we worry,” Lisa said in her motherly voice as she pressed the back of her hand to your forehead. The action made you smile.

 “You’re not warm. Maybe my lasagna will fix you right up. come.” She led you to your seat beside Scott and three seats away from Chris.

 “You look exhausted,” Carly said.

 “Yeah—I haven’t been getting much sleep,” you began as you took up your fork. Hearing how it could have been interpreted, you quickly fixed it. “Work! I mean, it’s because of work.”

 They nodded but looked as if they didn’t need the extra explanation. Sighing, you began to eat your food in silence. They spoke around you, but you didn’t listen, you were lost in your own thoughts as you tried to formulate a plan on how to best leave without causing a ruckus. You couldn’t leave in the middle of the night because that would have been wrong, and you needed someone to drive you back to Boston. When you thought of that, you let out a huff.

 “Y/N,” Shanna began. You looked to her friendly inquisitive face. “You okay?”

 Pasting a smile on, you nodded. “I’m good. I’m sorry, just thinking of my to-do list. Since this pandemic work has really picked up, you’d think it would slow down but nope.”

 You were good at thinking on your feet. It was a quality you had to have to succeed in your career and your life. Shanna nodded and went back to eating, as did you. You could feel Chris’s eyes on you, tempting you to look at him. Using all your will, you refused and kept your eyes planted downward to your plate. You wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.

 After an uncomfortable dinner, you sat through a few minutes of talk and calm all the while staying as far from Chris as possible. The funny thing to you was that with him staying away from you, no one was suspicious. He was carrying on as usual. Everyone else had remained the same. It was just you and him who had changed. You’d elevated, gone to a whole different plane of existence. That is what it felt like in that forest bubble--until it popped.

 You couldn’t get over what he’d said.

 “You’ve fucked a lot of guys!”

 Thinking about it again, you wanted to leap across the room and go wolverine on his ass. How dare he? When you looked over to him, you found his eyes planted right on you. They were beautiful, no doubt, but they were also the eyes of an asshole. You rolled yours, stood, and walked away toward the kitchen. Once inside, you walked around the island three times using the movement to get your rising anger under control.

 When the door opened, you turned to see Scott.

 “You’ve been weird all night. Talk to me.”

 You studied him trying to decide if you could tell him you’d had sex with his brother. You remembered what Chris had said that he’d made a promise to him. If you revealed it now you would start problems, problems you didn’t want to start.

 “I’m fine, Scott, tired but fine.”

 He studied you for a full minute before he nodded.

 “Okay. Go get some sleep; I’ll make an excuse for you.”

 “Really?”

 “Yeah. Go through the front.”

 You walked to him, gave him a quick hug, and did as he said. Before you walked out the door, you grabbed Scott’s car keys from the key hook on the wall that housed everyone’s keys. You’d convinced yourself he wouldn’t mind, and he’d understand. Once you were outside, you took a few deep breaths and moaned from the scent of the salty air. You were tempted to go for one last walk on the beach, but you had a feeling if you did that, you wouldn’t leave. Walking around the house the long way, you looked over the bank to the tall grass and beach down below. There was nothing quite like the beach at night. You stopped at the fork in your path. One way led to the beach and another night here with all that had happened, and the other led to the guesthouse where your bags were waiting. You must have stood there for ten minutes before you walked back to the guesthouse.

 Once inside, you gathered the rest of your things and waited until you knew everyone would be asleep. An hour passed with you sitting in the living room with your feet on the wooden coffee table, just staring at a lit candle. As the flame danced, your thoughts flitted from topic to topic. You began with going over every detail of the date, every word spoken, facial expression, body gesture, none of it escaped your focus now. Moving on, you went to every sensation, from scent, taste, and sound when both of you decided that you were going to cross that line. It wasn’t an unconscious choice. It was one both of you willingly made. Those thoughts brought you to everything leading up to you feeling him move inside of you. Again, not one detail missed you.

 You’d learned long ago that though something was unpleasant to think about, you had to acknowledge it in order to move on. You’d acknowledged everything that had made you the way you were and dealt with it. You’d found a way to use it as fuel, that was until last night. Something shifted; something changed your outlook; something made you feel.

 “It was him, you idiot!”

 You quickly sat up and groaned out, digging your hands in your hair. It was full-on puff now, long gone were your tame curls and coils. Thanks to your willingness to be carefree and adventurous, your hair was paying the price. You vowed to yourself that once you got back to your apartment, you’d treat yourself to a whole wash day routine. With that thought, you remembered his words.

 “I’m willing to learn.”

 You kissed your teeth and stood. You were tired of waiting. Taking up your bags and balancing them as well as you could, you opened the door and stopped in your tracks. There was Chris with his hand raised, ready to knock.

 “Son of a bitch!”

His eyes dropped to the bags in your hands, and he took a step to you. Quickly, you backed away, dropping a bag in the process. Chris took a step to you, and you took another back.

 “Y/N,” he began.

 “Shut the fuck up and get out. Go away.”

 He didn’t listen. He took another step inside the guesthouse. Even when you made every attempt to get away from him, he didn’t get the hint. Finally, you dropped your bags and walked as far from him as possible.

 “Y/N, let me explain, please.”

 “Explain? Fuck you!”

 Your shout was louder than it should have been. Realizing it, you clenched your jaws, trying to keep the rage from pouring over.

 “Y/N, please. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said. It slipped out,” Chris frantically said as he closed the space between you.

 Thanks to the wall behind you, you had nowhere to go. Pushing him back only sent him a few inches from you. It was enough of a distance for you to move out of the confined space you were in, but you weren’t quick enough that Chris wasn’t able to wrap his hand around your wrist to pull you back to him.

 “I’m sorry.”

 You did it before you thought it. Swinging your hand out, it connected with his cheek in a loud slap. He looked shocked, but he didn’t look angry. You wanted to make him angry so that he could feel some of yours. You slapped him again and again. On the fourth swing , Chris caught your wrist. The clench in his jaw was tight.

 “I deserve that,” he grumbled.

 “Why do you deserve it? Because you called me a fucking whore!?”

 “I didn’t mean to, I swear. I promise, Y/N.”

 You pulled away from him, roughly nearly losing your balance in the process. “Fuck you and your promises Chris! They mean shit—you mean shit.”

 “You don’t mean that. Come on. What more can I say to prove to you that I didn’t mean it?”

 “Nothing. I’m done. I’m leaving.”

 You hurried to your bags and began gathering them. Before you got half of them, Chris was on you, forcing you to drop them yet again.

 “Y/N, come on. You can’t leave. It’s not safe for you out there.”

 “I’d rather take my chances out there than in here with a man like you!”

 He looked hurt by that one, and you were glad for it. “Y/N, come on--,” he began.

 “Come on? Chris, there is nothing you could say to me.”

 You grabbed your bags again and threw open the door.

 “I can’t let you leave, Y/N. I can’t just let you walk out of here.”

 “Why?!”

 “Because of how I feel about you!”

 That had you freezing in your tracks. As the words sank in for you, you turned to him.

 “Jesus Christ, Y/N. I’m sorry for what I said. It was a stupid thing to say, one I didn’t even think about. I was angry, and I just said it. I didn’t mean it,” Chris blurted out, trying to keep his voice low.

 “Some part of you must mean it, some part of you must have felt this way. You must think I’m some whore who fucks every dick she comes across. That must be it right, Chris! I fuck everyone right, Andre, Marcus, Wayne, Charles, hell even you. Congratulations!”

 You made it past him and out to the pool, but he still didn’t give up. Chris got in front of you, but you didn’t stop.

 “Move!”

 “No. Come on, Y/N. You know you felt it last night. You know you felt it this morning and this afternoon. You felt it.”

 “I felt nothing!”

 “Bullshit! I was there. I was right there with you. I was on top of you staring in your eyes, and I saw it. I felt it when I was inside of you. You’re lying, and we both know it.”

 Ignoring the words coming from his mouth, you pushed past him and made your way around the house.

 “You’ve been inside of a lot of women. You probably don’t know what you feel anymore.”

 “Jeez, come on. Yes, I’ve slept with a lot of women, and I should never have even thought to say those words to you. That’s it though, I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry, really, I am.”

 “You’re sorry. How many women have you said those words to? Two, ten, fifteen?”

 “None of them are important to me. You do, Y/N. You do.”

 “Bullshit! I’ve never mattered to you.”

 That was when he pulled you back to him. As you collided with his body, your bags fell to the floor again.

 “You’re the only person who has mattered to me in the last three years. You are the only woman that I care about that is not in my family! You, Y/N! I don’t understand how you can’t see it. How is it still this hard for you to get it? You matter to me, you always have mattered. I think about you all the time. I worry about you more than I worry about anyone else. I dream about you, and in my dream, it’s always you and me. I respect you so much, it’s incredible to think we’ve barely spoken in these years, but I know so much about you. I respect you so much, even though you’ve hated me all these years. Y/N, I value you. I’m sorry for how I behaved. I’m sorry that I said those words.” The emotion in his voice was clear to hear.

 You stood there, frozen. The look in his eyes said he meant them. His eyes said he felt them and was pleading with you to feel them too—hear them too. There was a war inside of you that was waging so fierce that you couldn’t think straight. Part of you wanted to still leave while the other part—a part that was growing in size wanted to stay with him.

 “Please stay, Y/N. Please. Let me make this right. Let me fix this. Let me prove to you that you matter to me, let me show you that this means everything to me.”

 Chris cupped your skull and pressed his forehead to yours. His skin was hot; you were sure it was always this hot.

 “Please—I don’t want to let you go—not again.”

 “Fuck,” you whispered.

 “Please.”

 You had no voice to respond; all you could do was nod. Chris released a loud sigh that told you he’d been drinking. He pressed his lips to your forehead, then pulled back. You watched him pick up your bags then look back to you. He was asking a question. Can I? Chris reached his hand to touch your cheek and slid his thumb across it. When he brought his hand away, you saw it was wet. You were crying.

 Chris took your hand and led you back along the path you’d just walked, back to the guesthouse you were so ready to leave. As Chris led you back around the pool, you stared at his hand entwined with yours and sighed. It felt right. You just hoped that by giving in to this “right” wouldn’t turn everything wrong.

 Once you reached the guesthouse, Chris placed your bags in the living room, turned to you, and cupped your cheeks. “Give me thirty minutes, and I’ll come right back for you. can you do that?”

 You studied his eyes, peering deeply into them, trying to read him thoroughly. You bit your bottom lip when you saw that you wouldn’t see anything different than what he wanted you to see. You knew he had secrets. You nodded, giving him his answer. Chris then kissed your forehead again and walked out of the guestroom, leaving you alone once again.

You don’t know how long you stood in the doorway, but you stood there all the same, just staring out into the darkness. When one of your legs fell asleep, you closed the door and walked to the couch. Once before the candle, you’d just blown out you lit it again, sat, and watched it. As you stared in the flame, you tried to stave off the feeling that you were being weak and ignore the thoughts that still told you to leave that you’d be better off.

 Everything from his past indicated that he would end up hurting you. He’d been one way with every woman in his life before. What was so different about you? Why would he be any different with you? Hell, he probably had the power to absolutely wreck you. Your mental freak out quickly took over making you jump to your feet.  After pacing the living room for what felt like seconds, you heard the knock at your door. You didn’t open it right away. You just stared at the door. He probably could have opened it himself, but he didn’t.

 Walking toward it, you stopped with your hand on the knob and took a few breaths. When you opened it, Chris was standing there patiently with one hand behind his back. The two of you stared at each other for several moments before he revealed his hand, showing you a bouquet of picked flowers. You scoffed and shook your head. His mother was going to kill him. You took the flowers that were completely different than the ones he’d given you the other night. While those were bright thanks to the yellow sunflowers, these were also bright but in a different way. The mix of red and white tulips complimented each other but also looked as if they didn’t belong together. Regardless, they were beautiful.

 Chris held his hand out to you and waited for you to decide to take it. When almost fifteen seconds passed before you took it, he didn’t sigh or huff and puff, he remained calm and accommodating. When you put your hand in his, you watched his fingers wrap around your hand. He then raised it to his lips and kissed it once then twice. Once his lips touched your hand, your skin tingled, and from there, it never stopped.

 Chris slowly led you out of the guesthouse and allowed you to close the door behind you before he continued to lead the way to wherever he was taking you. When he cut away from the house to the steps that led to the beach, you guessed what he had planned. He took his time leading you down the steps carefully to ensure your safety was paramount. When you stepped onto the sand, Chris looked back to you as if asking if he could or should keep going. When you didn’t object, he continued to walk you down the beach toward the shore.

Once there, you saw a fire lit path along the beach leading to the warm glow of a fire in the distance. It stopped you in your tracks.

 “You okay?”

 Were you okay? You knew if you went over there and saw what he’d done, you’d probably forgive the bullshit he said earlier. You didn’t know if you wanted to forgive him. You wanted to make him suffer for as long as possible. You were also curious about just how he thought he could make things right. Releasing a huff of breath, you nodded. Chris continued the walk down the shore toward his destination. When you reached the lit path, you just stared at the small flames that looked to be medium-sized tealight candles. It was beautiful.

 The closer you got, the more you could see, and the more you saw, the more the butterflies in your belly fluttered. When you’d stopped walking, you were standing in front of a large blanket with two cushioned pillows placed on them along with a large wooden butcher block trey. On the block was a decanter of amber looking liquid, a few containers that were covered, glasses, and a gift box. Across the blanket were scattered rose petals, and before the blanket was a hot roaring fire.

 “Sit down,” Chris advised. You kicked off your slippers and walked across the blanket to find a good spot.

 As you sat on the cushion, you looked up at Chris and watched him as he took his seat across from you. His shirt showed his St. Christopher medal between both his tattoos on his chest. The sight of those tattoos made you bite your bottom lip. You remembered touching that chest, feeling his skin, and the muscles as it danced underneath your hand. You remembered just what it felt like—what he looked like above you with that medal hanging down dangling in front of you.

 “You haven’t said a word since we were outside the house. What’re you thinking?”

 You took a deep breath as you toyed with the petals of the flowers you still held. “Your mother is going to kill you when she realizes these are gone, and you are the culprit.”

 Chris snorted and shrugged. “I’ll laugh in the face of danger.”

 You couldn’t help but laugh. He was an idiot. His mother would beat his ass red.

 “You’re such a liar, you know she’ll beat you down.”

 Chris nodded. “Yeah, maybe, but it would have been worth it.”

 Your eyes met and remained on each other. In the firelight, they looked darker but sexy nonetheless. The man didn’t even have to work for pussy, he probably just said shit like that. Scoffing, you put the flowers to the side.

 “They’re beautiful. I love them.”

 “I’m glad. Do you know the meaning of tulips?”

 “Do you?”

 “My mom made sure I knew. Sometimes I’d sit with her and plant in the garden when I was a kid. She’d tell me about every flower she planted. She’d tell me what they meant, how to care for them. It was a whole process,” Chris explained.

 “Oh yeah? What’d you learn?”

 Chris reached for the decanter, opened it, and poured the brown-tinted liquid into both glasses. Once they were half-filled, he held one out to you. Your fingers grazed as you took the glass from him, and they lingered together.

 “She told me that tulips were special. They were originally cultivated in the Ottoman Empire, which is now Turkey and brought to Holland. Even though everyone thinks that is where they are initially from. There once was a time when they were one of the most coveted flowers. It’s not hard to see. Mom told me that tulips usually symbolized the beginning of spring. They usually spout then and stay throughout and sometimes through summer.” 

Chris paused for a moment as if he were gathering his thoughts, then continued.

“Her words, It’s like a reminder of what spring symbolizes renewal, rebirth, peace, joy, and happiness. White tulips say I’m sorry. They are a symbol used to beg for forgiveness, a way to say I was a stupid asshole, and I deserve every minute of agony you want to make me feel, I was a jackass who made a huge mistake, a jackass who just showed you how much I don’t deserve a woman like you. They mean I respect you more than I’ve ever respected any woman I’ve been with it’s fucked up but true. The cream-colored one in there means something much more.”

 You gulped the liquid and hissed at the burn. He was saying all the right things.

 “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

 Staring in his eyes, you almost felt as if you were being hypnotized, or put under a spell. You knew he meant the words. Looking down at the glass, you cleared your throat.

 “What do the red ones mean?”

 You watched him as you took another gulp of the Whiskey. You liked the brown sugar undertones and the slightly smoky flavor that filled your mouth.

 “The red ones--,” Chris began before he emptied his glass and stared into the open fire.

 Instead of speaking, he reached for two thin long wooden skewers and handed you one. After you took it, he opened the containers on the wooden trey revealing jumbo marshmallows, graham crackers, Hershey's milk chocolate squares, cookies n’ mint chocolate, and recces peanut butter cups. Just like that, you knew where this was going.

 “S’mores still your favorite thing in the world?”

 You couldn’t hold back the smile that spread across your face. Not many people knew it, but they were. You looked at him and sucked your bottom lip into your mouth.

 “Of course they are,” Chris filled in as he brought the bowl with the marshmallows to you for you to pick one. You did and plopped it onto the end of your skewer. You were excited. You hadn’t made s’mores in forever, which meant you hadn’t had one in just as long.

 You shimmied closer to the fire and stuck your skewer into the flames and watched as the outside of the marshmallow began to change.

 “How do you know so much about me?”

 “I pay attention.”

 You watched his hand holding the skewer and followed the trail along his exposed skin to his bicep. That was where your eyes and train of thought stopped.

 “Why did you pay attention to me?”

 “How could I not? You’re eye-catching—impossible to miss. I paid attention because you mattered to me. You still do.”

 Again your eyes lingered, and suddenly, the respectable space between you felt like too much.

 “I didn’t mean to piss you off,” Chris finished.

 You looked into the fire and sighed. “You hurt me,” you whispered. You didn’t think it was audible, but when you saw him place his skewer down on the wooden table and move next to you sitting with his legs open, so you and the cushion you sat on were between them you knew he’d heard you loud and clear.

 “Y/N,” Chris began in such a soft voice you had no other choice but to look at him. When you did, he took your skewer and put it beside his. Then he led you down to the blanket to replicate the way he sat before you.

 “I never meant to hurt you. I never want to hurt you—not you.”

 “You did.”

 “I’m so sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am. I didn’t want to hurt you, and it tears me up that I did. I won’t do it again. I swear—I promise.”

 You looked down. You hated promises. People who made them always broke them. Chris brought your face back to his.

 “I mean it, Y/N. I've never been big on promises, hell I’ve never made a promise for the simple fact that I knew I’d break it and I never care enough to make an effort to keep them. I promise you right here, right now. I will never hurt you again.”

 Staring into his eyes, you looked for any hint of a lie, any hint of the bullshit he might have been spewing. After nearly a minute, you saw none. Was he telling the truth, you wondered. To lighten the mood, you changed the subject.

 “No matter how much you think you know about me, you don’t know this. I’ve only slept with six guys, not including you. six that’s it.”

 Chris nodded. “I don’t care; really, I don’t.”

 “Yes, you do. I don’t know why you do, but you do.”

 “I may have been living my life doing whatever I wanted while you were doing the same, but I wanted you the whole time. If it makes sense, I never allowed any of them to get to this level,” Chris confessed.

 “What level?”

 “The level where a connection could be felt. I’ve felt this connection since the day we met, and today it’s stronger than it has ever been. I’ve never wanted them the way I want you.”

 “My body,” you began.

 “—I don’t give a shit about your body. This has never been about me getting in your panties.”

 “Then what is it about Chris?

 “What is it about for you?”

 You hadn’t expected him to throw this back to you. Your shock was evident. You didn’t want to confess a damn thing to him.

 “You have to trust me, Y/N.”

 “I don’t have to trust you. I don’t have to do anything,” you blurted out. Chris nodded and looked down at the blanket.

 “You want to. I can see it in your eyes. I can see it when I touch you. I can see it every time we’re close like this. Y/N, you want to trust me. You can.”

 You searched his eyes. He was right. For some reason, you wanted to trust him. For some reason, a very, very small voice inside of you said you should.

 “I trust you, Y/N,” Chris said on a whisper as he brought his face closer to yours. He didn’t kiss you, just hovered his face close to yours.

 “That night, the next morning, this—none of this has ever been about sex for me. I could never do that to you. You deserve so much more than that.”

 Long moments passed, and the silence stretched. All the two of you did was gaze into each other’s eyes. Each of you searching for something in the other, each of you trying to find the courage to take the necessary step. Each of you trying to think of the right thing to say or do. Neither of you finding anything you were searching for. Neither of you being able to be the first to leap. You lowered your head and tried to slow your racing heart.

 “I forgive you.”

 “You do? Why?”

 You snorted and looked back up at him. “So, I shouldn’t?”

 “No, it’s just I know you, and nothing is easy with you.”

 Your smile spread across your face. “So this was easy? An hour ago, I was ready to drive off and leave your pale ass in the darkness like a nightlight,” you reminded. Chris smiled and shook his head.

 “Wow, you went there.”

 “I did. I said what I meant, and I meant what I said,” you teased. The smile on his face was an affectionate one. The warmness you felt was not because of the roaring fire before you. It was from something else, and he was the root of it.

 “I forgive you because I’ve known you for three years, and I know you can be a dick and say some asshole things. You’ve apologized and did all this—I believe you’re sorry.”

 “I am, really really sorry,” Chris added as he lifted your chin, so you were looking in his eyes again. “I mean it.”

 You searched his eyes again and tried to listen to the side of you that was the minority telling you to believe him and trust him. You nodded. The moment stretched with the two of you gazing into each other’s eyes as the fire danced. You did not miss the intimacy of the moment. When Chris slowly moved into you, you allowed him to press his lips to yours. He didn’t move to deepen it, though; he just kept your lips together. The proximity of his body, coupled with the intimacy and the atmosphere, had your heart racing.

 You opened your eyes and watched him. After a few seconds, Chris opened his eyes and stared into yours, and that only intensified the connection you felt between you. Chris deepened the kiss, and you quickly got lost in it before you pulled away.

 “Just so we’re clear, I’ve only slept with--,” you began before Chris put his finger over your lips, stopping your words.

 “I don’t need to know. it’s not important.”

 “Yes, you do, and it is. I’ve only slept with seven guys, including you. I’ve dated, yes, but most of them have never gotten that deep.”

 “I really wasn’t trying to insinuate that you slept around, Y/N. I know you like to party and have a good time and enjoy having men make asses out of themselves for your entertainment, but I never once thought you were sleeping around.”

 You didn’t know if you believe him, but you nodded.

 “I’m not a big of a man whore as you guys like to think,” Chris began. You gave him a “boy don’t even start” look to which he snorted.

 “I’m being serious. Yes, there have been a few, but I’m not in three digits.”

 You reared back, giving him a disgusted look.

 “Three digits Chris!” He laughed, slapping his hand across his chest. You were not in the mood.

 “Don’t play with me, Chris!”

 “Not three digits, I promise. Seventeen.”

 It was a higher number than yours, but it wasn’t as high as you’d expected. You thought he had no self-control, and everything with legs and brunette hair had gotten it.

 “Lower than you thought, huh.” You snorted and shook your head.

 “See, I’m not as bad as you, Scott, and the other like to make me out to be.”

 “Fine, Chris, you’re not a big of a man-whore as I thought. Happy?”

 He smiled and shrugged. “I’m appeased—minimally.”

 You laughed again, throwing your head back. When you brought it back, he was watching you.

 “I’d ask for a do-over if I had known this was possible.”

 He said it so low you almost missed it.

 “You mean that much to me, Y/N.”

 You pulled his head to yours and softly kissed him, focusing on everything the kiss made you feel—tenderness, warmth, fireworks. The man could kiss. Chris pulled away from you before it got out of hand.

 “Behave, I brought you here for this, not my body,” he teased before he took up the sticks.

 You sat there, holding your marshmallow into the fire in comfortable silence. Every now and then, Chris would nudge your shoulder with his only to have you nudge him right back, which had the two of you looking at each other to kiss some more before going back to your marshmallows.

After a few minutes, you’d burned ten marshmallows from neither of you being able to focus on the task at hand. When you both finally had one marshmallow roasted to perfection, you each made your s’more. Chris used the cookies n’ mint squares while you used the peanut butter and milk chocolate ones. When you bit into your s’more, you moaned when you found caramel in the mix too. For the next fifteen minutes or so, the two of you roasted marshmallows and made smores to your heart’s content. It was perfect.

 When the graham crackers were gone, things got messy with you roasting marshmallows to put chocolate chunks on top of the marshmallow to eat. It didn’t take long for Chris to smear marshmallow on your exposed shoulder, and it took him even less time to lick it off. That began the cycle of him putting melted marshmallow on your skin to lick and suck off while you dripped melting chocolate on him to return the favor.

 When the sweets and wine were finished, you laid cuddled on the blanket, watching the stars listening to the crack of the fire and the crash of the waves.

 “I want to stay here forever,” Chris whispered.

 “Forever?”

 He looked down at you as you met his eyes. You didn’t recognize the look on his face.

 “Forever,” he repeated.

 “Forever is a long time.”

 He didn’t look phased, or even like he would change his mind.

 “You promise?”

 It took some time, but you nodded your response. Chris rolled onto you and kissed you in the way that made you forget everything. Your hands found the hem of his shirt and raised it until you’d pulled it off of him. Your fingers danced across the muscles in his back until they’d reached his pants. Chris continued to kiss you as if he had a point to make, a point that you needed to understand. The urgency in his kiss increased, and that urgency sparked your own hidden one. Your desire unfurled in your belly and raced through you.

 Bringing your hands around to the buckle of his pants, you quickly undid them and pulled them lower on his hips. Chris didn’t seem as if he were in any hurry, though, so he remained hovered over you while kissing you dumb. Your eyes met, and every wall you’d built suddenly collapsed from just the look in his eyes.

 “I’m scared of you,” Chris whispered.

 He had to be kidding, you thought. He was scared of you? You had no idea what to say to that. Thankfully he didn’t seem as if he wanted you to respond.

 “I don’t want to hurt you, Y/N.” Chris pressed his forehead to yours and further nudged the war within you.

 You could feel his need pressing onto your core, and that was igniting a need within you that you weren’t sure you could contain. The slight shake you felt from his body screamed of how vulnerable he was at this moment. Your body wanted him, and for the first time, you faced the fact that your heart wanted the same thing.

 “Then don’t.”

 He kissed you once, twice, and third before backed away from you sitting on his haunches. You sat up and kissed him.

 “I always fuck up. I don’t want to fuck this up.”

You touched his cheek and caressed it.

 “I don’t want to lose—this,” Chris finished.

 You kissed him again only this time you let your feelings shine through. You allowed your fear, your desire, your attraction, your intrigue and something you worried was a lot more than affection. Chris moaned and held you closer to his body and kissed you back with just as much hunger and need as you kissed him. You lifted your shirt off and met his eyes again. Chris pulled his pants down, then stood to take them off. The reprieve gave you time to undo your shorts. Chris met you halfway and finished the rest. As he pulled them off of your legs, he kissed your shin before he pressed his body back to yours to claim your lips once more.

 Rolling on top of him, you straddled his body. Kissing him was easy, thanks to his sitting position. His hands spread across your back, making you feel small and delicate. When his lips dipped to your neck to nip and suck the skin there, you threw your head back. The action gave him new freedom to clap his lips around your nipple. As you hugged his head to your chest, you rocked against him, which sent Chris’s hands down to cup your thonged ass.

 After licking and teasing one nipple, he moved to the next to nibble and bite, giving you the best of both worlds—his tenderness and his aggressiveness. You dug your hands into his hair and pulled it, bringing his eyes to yours. He looked open and completely transparent.

 “Do you want me, Chris?”

 “All I want is you, Y/N.” He crashed his lips to yours and flipped you onto your back while he spread your arms out on the blanket while entwining his fingers with yours. You believed him, and you tried not to be scared of it.

 Chris moved his lips across your skin and down your body until he’d pulled off your underwear and buried his face between your legs with them draped over his shoulders. You loudly gasped out, angling your head back to gaze at the star-filled sky. The way he rolled his tongue and sucked your skin had you barreling toward your release. With the sound of the waves crashing with the warmth of the fire and the beauty of the stars over you, it was easy to press this to memory.

 In a matter of a few short minutes, you’d trapped Chris's head between your thighs as you came with him, not letting up, not even a little. You didn’t even realize it, but you’d screamed out before you could stop yourself.

 “Fuuuuck, Chris!”

 As if that was what he wanted to hear, he came up to you. When you attempted to kiss him, he jerked back, smirking. Every attempt you made, he slipped away with a smile that spoke of playfulness. On the fifth attempt, you wrapped your legs around his waist, holding him there so your lips could claim his. Both of you moaned and battled for control. Yours was a fake battle. You didn't mind not being in control right now.

 You rolled onto him and sat on his throbbing hardness as he groaned from the contact. His lips were glued to you once again as if he needed them for survival. Neither of you seemed in a hurry to move forward, you both just kissed and teased each other with licks, nibbles, caresses, and cuddles until you both nearly lost your minds. When the rocking of your hips became too much, Chris held your hips steadying you.

 “I don’t have a condom,” he whispered.

 Usually, those words would have been like a douse of ice-cold water and an automatic repellant. In this situation with him tonight, somehow, they weren’t.

 “I’m sorry, I didn’t even think about it putting one in my pocket. Tonight wasn’t supposed to get here. I’m--,” Chris rambled before you kissed him again.

 He did all of this on the beach and hadn’t expected sex. He did this from his heart for you. It was a sweet admission. Pressing your forehead to his, you tried to catch your breath. “It’s—okay.”

 Chris reared back to look into your eyes. He didn’t look confused; he looked cautious. “It’s okay?”

 That was when your nerves picked up. Was it?

 “Is it?”

 Chris opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. You began to worry that you’d said the wrong thing, and now he was freaked out. Why weren’t you freaked out? You literally just gave him permission to go raw. Did you? You couldn’t believe those words came out of your mouth when you’d been religious every single time.

 “It’s—okay with me,” Chris slowly said. He sounded shocked at the words he said.

 “Is it? Are you sure?”

 He pulled you closer as if you’d somehow drifted too far from him. “Me? Are you sure?”

 Staring into his ocean-like eyes, you nodded. You were sure.

 The two of you remained still for a few moments as if allowing the intent to marinate.

 “I’ve never--,” Chris began.

 “Me neither,” you quickly followed.

 His smile was so sweet you couldn’t help but smile with him.

 “I trust you,” Chris finished.

 You felt as if you should have said the words back, but still, something held you back from actually voicing what your head was clearly telling you that you felt. Instead of speaking, you nodded. He kissed you again and softly caressed your back. Everywhere he touched felt as if he left a trail of fire in his wake. The man was as intoxicating as the flames behind you. Getting lost in his kisses once again, you began rocking against him but only managed a few rolls before your arousal peaked.

 Raising onto your knees, you angled yourself over his need. His eyes bored into you, and it looked as if he were holding his breath. Slowly you slid down his length. Every inch had you shaking as he sank his fingertips into your skin.

 “Shit,” You whispered just before he filled you completely.

 For a few seconds, neither of you moved, you just allowed the sensations to wash over you and cement what you both just did. Chris peppered kisses across your collar as he held you close to him. It was Chris who moved your body against him, sending a jolt of pleasure through you. Both of you groaned loudly, and you were the one to move next. Slowly you rocked against him, gradually picking up your speed. Chris rolled his head back as he leaned to watch you move. He felt good, too good.

 You raised onto your knees and began bouncing on him.

 “Jesus Chris!” He held your hips and took over, slamming you down onto his cock.

 With every connection, you gasped louder and louder. Soon it was Chris controlling your movements, using your body to bring you both to completion. You knew you weren’t going to last long. When you gripped his shoulders, you stood on your tiptoes and took control back. That was when Chris’s moans became louder, and the intensity in his eyes picked up.

 “Yes, yes, yes! Oh god baby, I’m gonna come,” Chris warned.

 “Me too,” you whined. Chris planted his hands on the blanket and rose his hips up to meet you as you came down.

 “Oh, fuck!”

 You both only lasted four more strokes before you were coming together. Chris pulled you down with him back to the blanket to wrap you in his massive arms. Both of you rode the wave of your shared release, not caring if anyone walked onto the beach to catch you. The moment was too perfect to think about reality.

 After a full ten minutes, Chris was the one to roll onto you to smile down at you.

 “Are you okay?”

 You nodded before he kissed you. “Are you?”

 Chris shook his head. “I want you.”

 You snorted and shook your head. “Who knew you were so insatiable, Evans.”

 You could feel him hardening again inside you.

 “When it comes to you—damn right, I am.”

 Chris rocked into you, reawakening your desire for him. The man was going to be the death of you. Death by dick, it was a thing, it had to be.

 For the next few hours, the two of you did what two naked bodies did best. Position after position, the man kept going and going and going. You weren’t complaining; you were surprised. He was pushing forty and was able to serve up quality dick back to back to back. In your coital insanity bubble, the two of you thought it was a good idea to dip into the ocean, and that turned into ocean sex. You were checking off so many firsts with him in one night you didn’t know if there would be much else to do for the rest of this quarantine.

 The only reason you stopped when you saw the first hints of navy and grey in the sky was because the fire had died, and the air was nippy. You watched Chris gather the items in his full naked glory. The darkness still hid him from you for the most part, but the view was still the best view. You were delirious, so delirious that after he hid everything in the tall grasses to come back for later, he scooped you into his arms and carried you back to the guest house with the darkness as your cover.

 Once inside, the two of you took a shower together that was filled with lavender-scented bubbles, giggles, kisses, and cuddles. That was when Chris co-washed your hair for you taking his time to do it properly. By the time the two of you climbed into the bed, the sky was turning a beautiful shade of pink. 

You’d think it was sleep both of you did, but sleep was the farthest thing from either of your minds.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

***If you want to be tagged please SEND AN ASK SO IT WILL BE EASIER FOR ME TO KEEP TRACK OF. Thank you for reading!!!

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Tag List:

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***There are a few that are bold that I tried to tag but your @ wasn’t coming up. I’m not sure why. I’m sorry.***

#quarantine: a love story fic #Q16 #Chris Evans #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #chris evans x black reader #black fanfiction #angst fanfic #slow burn fanfic

[creepypastaxmales]

Masky x GN!Reader

Warning: suggestive content/mentions of violence & angst Words: 1,388

Silence filled your ears as you gazed distantly at the tiled wall. You felt heavy, the bath water having went cold a while ago. You couldn't stop the tears that dripped down your face, hopelessness and despair filling up your being.

Life seemed to be getting harder and harder by the day, you longed to turn back the clocks. Rewrite the wrongs.

But you couldn't, you can't go back and stop yourself leaving no matter how much your heart ached at the thought.

At one point you had really believed you would be together, forever. You shook your head and let out more of a wheeze than a chuckle. You couldn't have stayed, he would've killed you without even a second thought.

Your mind couldn't help but wonder back to when it was all fine, when the world was right. You shook your head, water droplets flying around and your strands sticking to your face. He was a murderer, it had never been fine.

More tears fell, you could remember when he'd hold you like he'd never let go. You couldn't help but wonder if it had been something you had said? Maybe something you had done?

You pushed those thoughts away, he was the one who had regrets being with you. Not you. You hadn't regretted a minute of being by his side, you craved his touch. Even still after so many years.

You almost leaped out of the tub, loud banging coming from your front door. Your eyes widened, everytime someone knocked on that stupid door your heart would pick up. You felt like an idiot, still waiting for him like some obidient puppy.

Except he had all but dropped you off at some shelter without even a goodbye, you had known towards the end that it was finishing. Yet you had buried your head, plugged your ears and refused to acknowledge what was happening around you.

He had became so distant, to the point where you'd almost burst into tears of joy when he even bothered to show up. The fact he went months without a word from you should've been a hint but you had loved him so much, you were blindsided and then like that it all disappeared.

You could still hear his angry words buzzing in the back of your mind like a virus that contaminated every inch of your body.

"I never loved you."

Those words still cut as deep, stuck on your mind like a broken record player. The banging on the door got louder and you begrudgingly got out of the bath water, the cold air not bothering you.

You couldn't help but wonder who the hell was currently trying to break your door down. Your mind concocted a scenario in which it was him, your Masky breaking down the door. There to take you away forever.

You glanced in the mirror, flinching at your reflection. Your hair looked dull and on the verge of snapping, deep purple bags around your eyes and your skin was ungodly pale.

Your eyes were red with the tears you had previously been shedding, you unlocked the door and opened it.

You looked at the older woman, her face full of wrinkles yet her smile was youthful. You couldn't stop the small smile that graced your face.

"Hello (Name), I brought you some food over. It's your favourite." You smiled at her the best you could, she gave you a sympathetic look. "Thanks gran, I appreciate it." She had sort of adopted you the moment you had walked through the door, she always went out of her way to make sure you had taken care of yourself.

"I didn't interrupt did it?" You knew she didn't really care, this was her way of making sure you weren't lying dead in the middle of your apartment.

You shook your head and made small talk with her before she left, after closing the door you fell down against it. Your body shook and you couldn't help but let the sobs out.

You couldn't help it, the food reminded you of the time Masky had almost poisoned you. He hadn't meant it, he had meant well at the time.

You tugged on your lip, feeling exhausted after crying so much. You shook your head, you'd be fine tomorrow. Everything would be fine.

You needed to get back out there, you couldn't keep letting yourself go through this. You deserved to move on, to find someone who really did love you.

But Masky's face had been permanently etched into your memory, he was burned into every inch of your body. Part of you wished you could see him at least one last time, but you knew if you saw him you probably wouldn't be able to let go again.

You looked at the clock down the hall, eyes widening. You had been in the bath for three hours, it was 10 O'clock at night. You bit your lip, it was a Saturday.

Before you had a chance to talk yourself out of it you quickly got up, making your way to the kitchen to put the food away. You'd get drunk a lot quicker if you didn't eat.

——————

You were currently leaning against a wall while heaving your guts up, you were incredibly intoxicated almost stupidly so. But you felt happy, despite the burning in your throat. The alcohol had clouded your mind, Masky having been long forgotten.

You stumbled back from the wall, wiping any left over throw up off your mouth. You giggled, you were going to feel horrible tomorrow.

You swayed side to side as you carried on your way home. "What's a pretty little thing like you doing out here?" You turned around to the owner of the voice, your eyes widening. It wasn't him but he looked so much like him, you bit your lip.

"Pretty lonely." You sent him a drunk grin, mind not bothering to process the situation or the potential danger that possibly could come your way.

Masky had entered your mind again and you found yourself wishing he would leave it forever. The man grinned, walking over to you. "Oh?" He wasn't much older than you, mentally you shrugged. "Keep me company?" Your words were horribly slurred, before you could blink he had you pressed up against the wall.

The warmth his body gave off was almost scorching, you wanted more. You wanted warmth, another body against your own, you just really wanted to feel love again.

When he pressed his lips to yours you couldn't help but reciprocate, his hands gripped your hips and pressed you into the wall. The taller man easily lifted you up and wrapped your legs around him, taking a moment to suck dark bruises into your neck.

It didn't feel good, not like when he was the one bruising you up. You moved, trying to readjust yourself for comfort. Your head shot up, noticing two figures walking towards you.

You tried to get the man's attention but he seemed to caught up in you, you knew the figures had seen you. Your face flushed in anger and put all your effort into detaching from the stranger, shoving him away.

"I said fucking stop." You growled at the man, a scowl etched into your features. The man pouted. "C'mon baby." His hands reattached to your hips and you slapped them away, backing up from him.

Your eyes widened, it seemed like everything was happening in slow motion. One of the figures had slammed a pipe into the man's head, you quickly backed up.

"(Name)?" A deep, rough voice called out, you knew that voice better than your own. You shook your head, this was just cruel. Not bothering to respond you quickly ran, feet slamming against the pavement.

You needed to get away, you couldn't see him. Even if you had wanted to it seemed as if your body didn't, you were running faster than you ever had.

#Masky #marble hornets #Marble hornets x reader #Masky x reader #Angst #It's that time of night yeno wagwan #Ik mh isn't crp but yeah #Creepypasta #Creepypasta x reader

[secretobsessionstuff]

I was just thinking about how sweet madix & riley, and alexi & micahs friendship. and it had me thinking....maybe would you write something where madix & riley are both laid up in bed with the stomach flu, riley being worse off. madix tries his best to comfort an emotional and sick riley, but it’s hard when he feels so bad himself. cue a quick phone call to alexi & micah to ask if they would mind bringing them a few supplies and perhaps some help. absolutely no pressure of course! <3

Ahh thank you so much for the lovely request! I’m really happy with this one :) 

-----------------------------

Madix does not consider himself a sympathetic puker. That’s why when Riley threw up into the bucket for the third time that night, Madix knew it wasn’t empathy that made his own stomach turn.

Riley shivered and spat into the bucket, feeling horrendous and entirely sick of this stomach bug. No pun intended because he was in no mood to be making jokes. All day, his head had been either buried in a bucket or hovering over the toilet. Currently, he preferred the bucket because it allowed him to sit on the couch. It was nice to be able to lean against Madix and have his shoulders rubbed.

Swallowing a sudden wave of nausea, Madix handed Riley a cloth to wipe his mouth. Riley reached for it, but stopped mid-way. His throat bobbed as his face got even paler. The boy still had one more retch in him. Madix, seeing this, brought the bucket back to his lap. He turned his head to the side so as to not trigger his own belly anymore.

With nothing left in his stomach to throw up, Riley dry heaved. His whole body quivered against Madix from the force of it. He might also have been shaking from the sobs that racked his frame. “Madix…make it stop,” he begged, with snot and tears running down his face.

“Oh love, I’m sorry.” Under normal circumstances, Madix might have said that he would gladly take the pain for himself, but he guessed it would be redundant at this point.

Along with the sadness, Madix also guessed that Riley was getting frustrated with this virus. He hadn’t been able to eat anything all day without it coming back up. Then again, they didn’t have much food in the house that wouldn’t unsettle his stomach. They were running low on supplies, and Madix was running low on energy.

He started to suspect that perhaps Riley wasn’t the only victim of this illness when the same nausea hit his system. This was earlier that day when he was trying to get Riley to eat something, meanwhile the food that he put in his own stomach was sitting uneasily. The nausea kicked in then, and he stupidly decided not to upset his stomach anymore by drinking water. No one had been nagging at him to stay hydrated, but now he wished there could be. Riley was much too upset and sick to tell – not that Madix could blame him. Still, he had to tell Riley something, before he threw up right then and there. That would absolutely not make the situation better.

Riley groaned and took the cloth to wipe his mouth. He was indeed frustrated. “I still feel nauseous…” he mumbled while hugging his stomach. “I hate this.”

“Believe me,” Madix said without making eye contact, “I know how you feel.”

“What do you mean?”

Madix rubbed the back of his neck. “I uh…don’t feel so hot either.”

Riley’s eyes grew wide. This wasn’t happening. This wasn’t happening. Normally he could deal with Madix being sick if he was already sick himself. But the human brain is a clusterfuck of an organ, and sometimes it cannot be expected to act predictably. Sometimes your brain tells you that everything sucks, and that crying is the only solution, and that Madix being sick is the worst possible thing to happen right now. Who was going to take care of us?? How would we deal with a sick Madix while we’re sick?? Because apparently Riley’s brain thought of itself and Riley as two separate entities.

“Are you going to throw up?” Riley asked with an unsteady voice.

Madix immediately regretted telling Riley how he felt. He watched his boyfriend’s eyes grow ten sizes, and watched his chest heave frantically. He guessed the combination of having a fever and feeling terrible made the perfect recipe for panic.

Before Madix could lie about needing to throw up, Riley gagged into his hand. The emotions and nausea became too much, and his stomach was back at it again. Luckily Madix shoved the bucket under his chin just in time to catch the bitter yellow bile that spilled past his lips.

Without thinking about it, Madix stood up from the couch after handing over the bucket. Seeing the thick bile come from his boyfriend’s mouth was too much for his own stomach to handle. Saliva was quickly coating his tongue. “Ry, I have to…” he mumbled with a hand over his mouth. “…I’ll be right back.”

Madix felt bad for leaving Riley in the middle of vomiting, but he desperately needed to do the same. His legs led him to the bathroom where he fell to his knees in front of the toilet. The remnants of his lunch rushed up his throat and splattered into the bowl. A wet belch interrupted the stream, but was soon followed by another wave of vomit. Madix squeezed his eyes shut involuntarily, wetting his eyelashes with tears. His knuckles turned white as he gripped the rim.

His stomach gurgled loudly. He felt like the organ was getting revenge for being forced to wait so long. He wrapped his arms around his aching belly and moaned. It was hell, and now he knew how Riley truly felt. Madix couldn’t help but despair at the thought of going through the same things Riley had all morning. And he would need to do it alone.

In his hazy feverish state, Madix had a thought. The fact that his fried mind was able to come up with a thought was shocking, but there it was.

His phone! Where was his phone? He needed to make a call.

But first he needed to gag over the toilet bowl for another few minutes. For now, it seemed like his stomach just wanted to be an asshole and make him think that he was going to puke. The threat of puking never disappeared, but soon Madix got tired of waiting. And fuck, he could hear Riley calling to him from the living room. Riley’s voice sounded thick from having just brought up another sludge of bile.

Madix wanted to go to him, to rub his back and tell him that everything was going to be okay. But if Riley felt anything like how Madix was feeling, he didn’t think that anything would ever be okay. And guess what? What if Madix wanted someone to rub his back? He wanted someone to tell him that everything would be okay.  

That’s when he remembered the call that he was going to make. The phone was in his pocket, but even that felt too far for him to reach. Slowly, Madix propped his back up against the tub and called Micah. He put it on speaker so that he didn’t have to hold the phone to his ear.

Micah answered on the first ring, but could only hear heavy breathing on the other end. “Madix? Are you there?

Madix finally got the energy to respond. He was weak. “Can you…come over?”

“Madix? I can’t hear you very well. You sound all echo-ish.” Micah’s voice was so loud as it reverberated in the bathroom. “Are you okay?”

“No ‘m really sick. Riley too.” Madix felt sweat dripping down his forehead. “Please come over.” He hoped that Micah could understand his messy speech.

There was ruffling on Micah’s end before, “oh okay, okay. Just hang tight. We’ll be right there.”

“Wait…Bring stuff.”

“Bring stuff?”

“We’re…dehy…” he was going to say ‘dehydrated’ but there were some technical difficulties in his brain. The hardware was overheating. He found a solution. “…thirsty.”

                                                      …

With some deductive skills, Micah had a pretty good guess for what was ailing his friends. The echo of the phone call easily told him that Madix was in a bathroom. Dehydration plus camping out in a bathroom were not hard puzzle pieces to fit together.

He and Alexi stopped by the store for Gatorade, soup, and anything else needed to fight a stomach virus. While Alexi debated over which flavour of sport drink to get, Micah rushed him along. “Just pick one! Madix sounded horrible on the phone.”

“What if they don’t like the yellow kind?”

“Oh my god, let’s just go!”

“Fine…” Alexi muttered under his breath, “but if they hate it, it’s your fault.”

Micah accepted full responsibility if they didn’t like the drink, and raced for the checkout. They threw the bags into the car and off they went to help their friends once again.

Upon entering, they immediately found Riley sleeping on the couch with the bucket on the floor. It was still full of bile because clearly neither of the sick boys had the energy to clean it.

While Alexi placed the groceries in the kitchen and began to open the drinks, Micah crouched by Riley’s head. His skin was deathly pale. Micah woke him up with a light shake.

Riley jumped a little as he awoke from his restless sleep. He rubbed his eyes, not understanding what he was seeing. He could swear that Micah was in his house for some reason. And he was right. “Micah?”

“Hey Ry. How are you feeling?”

Riley looked around and spotted Alexi as well. His brow furrowed in confusion. “What are you doing here?”

“Madix called us,” Alexi answered while carrying over a bottle of Gatorade. “Can you sit up and take a sip of this for me?”

Riley did sit up and accepted the bottle. His mouth was insanely dry, but that’s not what he cared about in that moment. “Oh my god Madix. Go help him!” He looked worriedly between the two boys who just showed up. “I know he’s been throwing up in the bathroom, but I just – I couldn’t… I –”

“Shh, slow down,” Micah said softly. “It’s not your fault. I’ll go check on him right now.” As he left, Micah heard Riley ask if they brought any other colour of Gatorade. Yellow wasn’t his favourite.

Micah was scared that he was going to find Madix passed out in a puddle of his own vomit. That was not the case. He found Madix drenched in sweat, not passed out but barely lucid. Madix didn’t even react when Micah came into the bathroom. His head was resting on the toilet seat and it looked like he was fighting another wave of nausea. The bowl was full of half-digested stomach contents. Madix whimpered quietly to himself.

Micah slowly sat down, and immediately put his hand on Madix’s damp back. “Oh Maddy, look at you.” The heat from his back was astounding.

Madix did not open his eyes, but his shoulders lost a bit of their tension. “Micah?”

“Yeah, I’m here.” Micah’s chest ached when the boy reached out his hand to hold onto him. He was usually only very touchy with Alexi, but Madix looked like he needed it to survive. Micah scooted closer and brushed a hand over Madix’s cheek. Of course, he found it burning. Normally, Micah would feel very awkward touching a friend’s face but there was something about Madix’s desperation that made it okay. The way Madix leaned entirely into the touch made Micah forget about any apprehensions.

Madix squinted from the bright light. He hadn’t realized how long his eyes had been closed for. He also hadn’t realized how much he needed the presence of someone else. It was like drowning in dark water. No one around to pull him from the waves that kept pushing him under. No one to pierce the thick darkness where he found himself.

Then suddenly a lifeline.

A choked sob came from Madix. “I feel horrible, Micah. I can’t stop throwing up.”

“I know, I know.” Micah rubbed his back harder. He tried to hold back his own emotions. He had never seen Madix this vulnerable.

“I – I couldn’t…. st-stay with Riley.” Tears streaked down Madix’s face as he cried and struggled to catch his breath. “It hurts…my belly.”

Micah didn’t say anything. He just continued to let Madix know he was there. He wanted to let Madix be completely selfish for once in his life, God knows he deserves it.

If Madix were lucid enough to hear what he was saying, he would have told himself to stop making such a big deal about a little stomach-ache. The good news was that he wasn’t lucid enough, and this provided him with the outlet he needed. Somehow, his head found Micah’s shoulder and he rested it there while he feverishly rambled.

Micah let this go one for as long as he could, but he had to stop it eventually. Madix was hiccupping and crying, and generally working himself up to the point of making himself sick all over again. When the hiccupping turned into empty heaves, Micah spoke. “Okay, hon, you have to let yourself breathe. Can you breathe with me?”

And Micah took a long inhale, making sure that Madix did the same. Through sniffles and hiccups, he copied the rise and fall of Micah’s chest. “That’s it, Mads. Again.”

The two of them took another deep breath in, and Madix’s breathing slowly became less shaky. Micah smiled at the progress. “That’s it, Madix. Everything is going to be okay.”

#emeto #emetophilia #emeto fic #stomach flu #sickfic #stomach bug #multiple sickees #fever #Riley #Madix #Micah #Alexi #platonic caretaking #puking #my ocs #vomiting