#like. those bad things came back a little bit before i started taking that medicine

[ghostofskywalker]

Hi how are you? Well, I hope. I wanted to request:

"Should I stop talking?" || "Don't, your voice is very soothing" with Peeta Mellark please.

Thank you!

i'm doing well, thank you!! i absolutely loved this prompt, thank you for giving me a chance to write some hunger games fic!

words: 822

summary: You and Peeta spend time in a cave, attempting to fall asleep in the arena.

Belief in Love Can Outweigh All Odds

note: in this fic the reader is taking katniss' position as the female tribute from district 12 in the 74th hunger games. no specific combat specialty or other description is noted.

peeta mellark masterlist

It was cold, damp, and dark in the cave, and you knew that there was no way you were going to find sleep anytime soon. The amount of adrenaline currently flowing through your body was making sure of that, along with the sharp pain that still emanated from the sizable wound on your arm. But as bad as you felt right now, Peeta was looking a lot worse. He shivered and twitched in his sleep, the medicine you had almost paid for with your life working much too slowly for your liking. 

You didn’t necessarily believe the Head Gamemaker’s voice in the sky, that the Games could have two victors if they came here from the same district, but you also didn’t want to give up on the tiny flicker of hope that had taken hold in your heart, the hope that you would be able to go home without having to kill a boy you had grown up with. 

You cared for Peeta, and that alone was worth the pain of betrayal you might feel down the line. All of this had started as a ruse to get sponsors, the way you felt about each other, and so far it had worked. But what you didn’t really want to admit to yourself just yet was that those feelings were very quickly becoming real. It was a side effect of the games, you tried to tell yourself, the way that your emotions heightened by the hour, but you knew it to be false. The Capitol would never knowingly facilitate the growth of emotions like love or kindness in this arena, they laughed and cheered at the appearance of tributes’ animalistic tendencies, taking a perverse comfort in the way human beings would do anything if it meant they would get to walk away alive. 

And speaking of your fellow District 12 tribute, you watched as he began to stir awake. “Are you okay?” he whispered, immediately turning his attention to you. 

“Yeah,” was your slightly shaky response. “No one is going to find us here.” 

“How’s your arm? Does it still hurt?” 

You shook your head. “I’m fine. And you know, I should be the one asking you how you’re doing, not the other way around.”

“I told you not to risk yourself for me and you still did,” he said, a smile flickering over his face as he registered your weak attempt at a joke. “I don’t think I will ever be able to repay you for that.” 

“You don’t have to repay me.” 

“I can’t-” 

But you cut him off before he could finish speaking. “Peeta, I mean it. We’re in this thing together until the end, and right now just being alive is enough for me.” 

His hand reached out to rest on your cheek, and the look in his eyes was something you never wanted to forget. He certainly was able to act the part of the lovesick teenager better than you were, and part of you almost believed that this moment was real. 

And of course, it only became more believable when he leaned in and kissed you. 

You had shared a chaste kiss with him once before on the tour, as a way to ward off any rumors of deceit or trickery, but this was much more passionate. Both of you were covered in dirt and grime at this point, but you didn’t care one bit as you kissed back. The little voice at the back of your mind informed you that the entirety of Panem was probably watching you right now, but even that didn’t really matter. Right now, you just wanted to enjoy this moment. 

When you finally pulled away, there was a smile on your face that you would never be able to hide, no matter how hard you tried. “We’re going to be okay,” you said softly as you settled next to him, your head gently resting on Peeta’s chest. “We’ll win the Games, and then we can return home together. We can-” 

But he cut you off by reaching down to take your hand, getting you to turn and look up at him. “We should get some rest,” he said. “We’re not out of here just yet.” 

You weren’t sure you could truly get yourself to sleep, especially after what just happened between you two, but you nodded. “So what you’re saying is that I should stop talking?” 

“Maybe,” he said, a small laugh escaping his mouth. “Don’t actually, your voice is very soothing.”

You smiled before continuing to speak, telling Peeta random bits of information about the forest and stories from your family back home in District 12. You could tell when he finally fell asleep, his breathing slow and steady as you listed to his heartbeat, and all you could do was desperately hope that the two of you would actually be able to make it out of here alive. 

- the end -

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#winterficlets23 #peeta mellark #peeta mellark x reader #peeta mellark x you #peeta mellark fanfiction #peeta mellark x female reader #hunger games x reader

[lovingseventeen]

hi! i just discovered your writing and you are so so talented. if possible, can you write how the members would react to finding out their s/o is sick? maybe with them trying to hide it, or the members are so busy and their partner didn’t want to tell them :)

svt when they find out their s/o is sick *ੈ✩‧₊˚

a/n: we are here for soft svt feels. also this got hella long because i have no chill LOL. also things may seem a little redundant bc the reader is always at home BUT you SHOULD be staying home if you're not feeling well !!

ALSO ALSO THANK YOU all for 700 followers! i hope this is a good present ♡

seungcheol:

❥ you knew he tended to have a lot on his plate as a leader of one of the most successful groups

❥ so you figured you didn't have to tell him you weren't feeling great. it's just a little cold after all

❥ you decide to take a nap, maybe sleep will lighten how you feel

❥ meanwhile, seungcheol sends you a little text, just his usual habit of checking up on you when he can, when you don't respond

❥ they're probably busy, he thinks, though it's a little out of character when 2 hours later, you haven't even opened his message

❥ somehow he gets out of practice early that day, so he decides to surprise you, bringing over some pastries from a bakery near the company building

❥ he's shocked to see a very fatigued you open your door

❥ "cheol?"

❥ immediately, his body fills with so much worry he almost doesn't know where to start

❥ "y/n? are you okay- wait, actually lets get you to sit first" he rambles, heart breaking when he sees you walk so slowly to your couch

❥ "what brought you over here? don't you usually have dance practice today?" you asked, voice quieter than usual

❥ "we got out early, but that doesn't matter, you're sick? why didn't you tell me?"

❥ "it's not that bad and you have so many things to worry about-" you try, only to be interrupted by your very concerned boyfriend

❥ "forget about all those other things!" he says with a slight pout, "i can't believe you've been alone when you're like this, that's it, i'm cancelling my day tomorrow"

❥ "you don't need to do that!" you protest, but he's already shooting someone -his manager probably- a text

❥ he partially wants to scold you for not telling him sooner but he can't argue with you in this state. his eyes look at you softly, noticing that you're leaning your head on the couch as you sit up, concluding that your head probably hurts too

❥ "y/n, i want to take care of you, okay? it hurts to see you like this, so just let me, okay?"

❥ definitely starts researching on home remedies and what medicine to buy as you lay your head on his lap

jeonghan:

❥ he was looking forward to your date at the end of the week, up until you sent him a text saying that you didn't think you could still make it

❥ hannie something came up so i don't think i can still go out on friday :(

❥ oh? are you alright at least? he replies

❥ yeah yeah i am, just work things :((

❥ he still wants to see you that day though, so he decides to try to surprise you by picking you up at your job with a little bouquet of flowers

❥ little does he know, you haven't been to work for a couple days, taking your sick leave

❥ um i'm here outside, can it at least drive you home? he sends

❥ at the sight of this text, you're calling him

❥ "hi baby" he says, and you can already tell he's smiling on the other end of the line

❥ "hi" you replied softly, "um, i'm not at work"

❥ this catches his off guard, "you're not?"

❥ "i've been home all week because i haven't been feeling well, but i also didn't want to worry you.." you explain, feeling awful over him being outside of your job

❥ "you're sick?" he asks, getting back into his car to continue the call

❥ "a bit, but it's not that bad!" you try to tell him

❥ "i'll come over" he tells you, but not before stopping by at a restaurant to bring you some hearty soup

❥ you greet him at your door with a mask on and even then he can tell that your eyes are tired. "sorry you went all the way over there"

❥ "that's okay i just wanted to see you, but you know it's my job to worry about you, right?" as he says this he holds out the bag of noodle soup towards you.

❥ "you should eat up so you get better" he urges, motioning for you to walk into your house

joshua:

❥ you guys have gotten into the habit of sending each other occasional pictures of what you're up to

❥ this particular day, he was recording and he sent you a cute little selfie from the recording booth. he even took a picture of the boys watching him record too, and of course, they all posed for the picture LOL

❥ you send him back an innocent selfie from home, but you weren't slick enough to hide the box of tissues and the bottle of medicine form the background

❥ he's calling you after his session is done (with a thumbs up from woozi). "hey darling, are you feeling alright? i noticed the medicine in the back of your photo?"

❥ "oh it's nothing," you assure him, "just a cold, not a big deal"

❥ "that's not nothing" he says softly, "do you need anything? have you eaten yet? are you drinking enough water?"

❥ after you answer yes to all of his questions, telling him not to worry, he concedes partially, but he still thinks about you throughout the day

❥ he checks up on you throughout the day, occasionally sending you random life hacks and home remedies to make you feel better

❥ you have to text him that no, you are not putting garlic in your socks or ears

❥ josh i really really appreciate the concern but it's really not that serious

❥ but if this works! you could feel better by tomorrow! <33

❥ he unfortunately can't come over because his schedule is a bit swamped, but he tells you not to cook anything tonight and orders food for you so you can take it easy

jun:

❥ when he surprises you on one of his days off, he winds up very surprised too

❥ when you open your door you raise your eyebrows as he takes in the sight of you. frankly, he can tell you might've not gotten enough sleep and that your nose is a little red (probably because it's runny?)

❥ "you're sick? why didn't you tell me?"

❥ he's ushering you to your bed and tucking you in

❥ he sits on the floor, facing you as he slightly tilts his head to the side and places a hand to your cheek

❥ "does your head hurt?" a weak nod. "throat too?" another nod. "do you want me to make you some tea?" you nod again, "okay baby"

❥ he's walking out of your room to go brew some tea and eventually he comes back with a mug and places it on your nightstand, "it's still really hot so maybe give it a couple minutes"

❥ as he's walking out of your room he pauses, "hey, call me if you need anything okay? you should probably rest up for now, i won't bother you, but i'll just be in your living room" he tells you, pulling your blanket up a little higher

❥ "thank you junnie" you say, voice barely above a whisper

❥ "of course"

❥ a couple hours later, he practically tip toes into your room just to retrieve the empty cup of tea from your nightstand, careful not to wake you

❥ you were falling in and out of sleep anyways, so you woke up to see his figure so carefully lifting the mug

❥ when he catches you watching him he goes, "oh shit, did i make a noise or something?" and you're shaking your head

❥ "is it okay you're spending your day off like this?" you asked, feeling bad knowing that he didn't have a lot of free time

❥ "like what?"

❥ "you know, cooped up inside with someone who's been sleeping all day"

❥ he crouches down to run a hand through your hair. "baby it's not your fault you're sick, it's really okay. if anything, it's a rest day for me too and i get to catch up on some shows" he assures

hoshi:

❥ you know he's been busy creating choreography recently, so you haven't seen him in about two weeks

❥ (you also don't tell him because you know he'll try to kiss you without regards to himself getting sick)

❥ but when you say no to him coming over your entire plan of getting better by yourself goes out the window

❥ "baby! i'll come over after practice today, i think we'll wrap up early!" he says when he calls. this causes you to rack your brain for excuses for him not to

❥ "oh that's okay you don't have to, aren't you tired, baby?"

❥ "never too tired to come see my baby" he gushes and your heart aches because you can hear the smile in his voice

❥ "but don't you have to be up tomorrow too?" you try

❥ his voice turns a little less excited. "do you not want me to come over? what's wrong?"

❥ "no! no, it's not that, it's just i don't want you to be too tired" you're really fighting for your life here

❥ "i'm not too tired, i'll see you later today" he tells you, but you can't miss the change in his voice

❥ as he's driving over he's thinking over how you were speaking. why didn't you seem excited about him coming over? usually you were.. were you tired of him? was there someone else? he tried to fight his racing thoughts and the little hurt in his heart

❥ when you open your door he misses the mask that you were wearing, as he makes his way inside

❥ "where is he?" he asks and suddenly you can see the tears welling in his eyes

❥ "soonyoung, where's who?" you ask frantically

❥ "someone's here, aren't they? does he make you happier?" and there's a heartbreaking crack in his voice

❥ "what? no!" you grasp onto his arm, "what are you talking about?"

❥ "it's why you didn't want me to come over right?" he asks, eyes searching yours, when he finally sees the mask, "why are you wearing that at home?"

❥ "baby i'm sick, no one's here. there's no one else at all" you explain, closing your eyes for a moment because this is the most you've walked all day and your head is pounding

❥ he softens at the sight, "oh i'm so sorry" and he's immediately helping you walk to your couch, "i'm so stupid"

❥ "just didn't want to get you sick too" you explained, gently pushing away from his chest because he's pulling you into him, "probably shouldn't get too close to me"

❥ "i don't care" he dismisses, "let me hold you"

❥ you're too weak to escape his hugs on a regular day, much less now, so you give in

❥ you lightly smack his arm as your head is against his chest, "did you really think i was cheating"

❥ a gentle squeeze. "no, but the thought really scared me"

❥ "well, you shouldn't ever be scared of that. where else are you gonna find a horanghae supporter as loyal as me?"

❥ finally, the two of you are laughing

wonwoo:

❥ i don't think he'd be the type to get super upset at you not telling him sooner, but he does make every effort to make your life easier as soon as he knows

❥ why potentially argue with his love when they're already sick? he figures

❥ when he comes over to see you walking around with a blanket wrapped around you he already knows

❥ the two of you spend the day on the couch not doing much, he's just keeping you company, giving your leg some random rhythmic pats as you just lay there

❥ but as soon as you're starting to sit up, he's on alert

❥ "what is it? do you need something?"

❥ "just gonna get water" you reply, but he's getting up already, patting your leg again

❥ "i got it, just stay here"

❥ and it's a series of small things that day, water, tea, your medicine, he'll get all of it so you can rest and recover

❥ almost helps you get up to walk when you laugh and tell him you have enough energy to walk yourself to the bathroom

❥ though he doesn't scold you for not telling him sooner, he does remind you at some point, "i'm always here for you, for anything"

woozi:

❥ a tad bit whiny when he has to find out that you're sick through your story

❥ you get a text that says you know you're supposed to tell me these things y/n

❥ what things? you asked, brain working a little bit slower than usual as you were indeed feeling a little bit clouded

❥ that you're sick >:( and not being taken care of >:((

❥ i can handle it, it's okay

❥ then you receive a simple no, followed by a it's not okay

❥ will search up a good shake to make for sick people and drop it off at your house before he has to go back to the studio

❥ gives you a disappointed look for not telling him sooner but this facade breaks before he leaves you. he still asks, "but really, y/n, are you okay? because i can probably tell the company i have an emergency-"

❥ you wave off the offer, "jihoon, go make your music," you chuckled, "frankly i think the worst of it has passed, i'm okay, really"

❥ he nods, but still looks at you a little skeptically, "are you sure?"

❥ "yes, yes"

❥ "okay, so i'll head out for now, but i'll try to come by again when i'm done," he says, starting to walk down the hall towards the elevator, "i'll text you first and if you don't reply i'll assume you're sleeping and i'll just come back tomorrow, okay?"

❥ "okay, that works" you agree, chuckling as he keeps turning back as he walks away

❥ "you're still sure?"

❥ "i'm sure" you confirm

❥ "are you really? i can call right now" he says, keeping the elevator open for one last question

❥ "go to work, jihoon!" you say, both of you chuckling as you both wave goodbye

dokyeom:

❥ feels like the worst boyfriend ever to not have known, as if by dating a telepathic connection would automatically be formed between the two of you

❥ doesn't even complain about how you didn't tell him in the first place

❥ somehow he finds out through your best friend, who sent him a text asking if they could drop off your medicine at hybe since they were supposed to stop by your place but then couldn't

❥ (your friend knew you didn't want to worry him amidst his approaching comeback, but they had an emergency)

❥ when you open your door, you're very surprised to not only see your boyfriend, but to see your boyfriend on his knees, holding the bag of medicine

❥ "baby i'm so sorry" he looks so genuine in his apology too HELP

❥ "for what- wait, get up first" you stutter, helping him back to his feet

❥ "you're sick! i should've been taking care of you" he says with a pout, holding onto your forearms

❥ "but you have your comeback to worry about-" you try but he's already shaking his head, he checks your temperature by placing the back of his hand on your forehead before cupping your cheek

❥ "we're perfectly on schedule for that, i could've taken care of you regardless. c'mon baby, let me make it up to you" (when he literally has nothing to make up for)

❥ will baby you and there's no stopping it until you're fully back to regular health

❥ almost insists on feeding you, keeps track of when you should take your medicine, and also routinely checks if you're staying hydrated

❥ even when he has to leave your apartment (which you have to convince him that you can survive on your own) he checks up on you through texts

mingyu:

❥ appalled that you didn't tell him as soon as you were starting to feel under the weather

❥ he discovers that you're sick when he calls you and you try to answer, only to start coughing. the smile that he always has when he calls you is soon wiped away

❥ "you're not feeling good? since when, baby?"

❥ "uh, i don't know 'gyu, maybe monday?" it was thursday, so you've been feeling sick for a couple days now?? it's definitely news to him

❥ "i'm gonna make you something to feel better," he promises, telling you that he'll be over soon before you could protest

❥ when he arrives you see that he has a bag of groceries in one hand and he's automatically moving towards your kitchen

❥ "'gyu you really didn't have to," you say trailing behind him, "besides, what if you get sick? then you can't practice and perform..."

❥ "company? hybe, who?" he asks, and for a moment you almost believe the fake confused look he's giving you (they're really getting better with acting on that don't lie series)

❥ "i only have one job right now" he deadpans, "and it's to feed you well today"

❥ you sit in the kitchen as you watch him work, resting your head on your table because it feels too heavy to lift it

❥ mingyu occasionally glances towards you too, heart aching over your lack of usual energy

❥ when he finishes cooking, he scoops out your portion and lightly garnishes it before setting your bowl down in front of you (you managed to lift your head for this)

❥ frankly, the entire kitchen was starting to smell good, but the bowl being directly on front of you smelled even better

❥ "thank you for this, i love you, you know," you say before scooping some of the hot soup and blowing on your spoon to cool it

❥ he doesn't even serve himself yet, he just watches you as you take your first bite, smiling when you excitedly prepare your second, then your third

❥ "this is really good 'gyu"

❥ he smiles even wider, "yeah?"

❥ "i love it, and you" you repeat

❥ "i love you too," he says, "and i'll always make you something so you can feel better"

minghao:

❥ i think by the time he finds out he's giving you a scolding while simultaneously walking around your house and adjusting things better for you

❥ he makes you sit down and rest your head back as he puts a wet cloth on your forehead

❥ "you, sit. the sick person shouldn't argue" he tells you, but not without running a hand down the side of your head

❥ you close your eyes for a moment, hearing minghao things shuffle around. you wonder what he's up to but you actually end up falling asleep

❥ when you wake up, the wet cloth is gone from your forehead and the living room seems a little neater. then when you walk around, you see that he's already gone out and bought some medicine and organized them on your table

❥ on your fridge there's a note that says what medicine you should take when, a reminder to drink water, and a reminder to call him if you need anything

❥ he's coming out of your room when you see him, "oh you're up? i just made your bed" (in fact, he tidied your entire room)

❥ "do you want to have a bath?" he asks, and if you do, he WILL wash your hair for you and give you one of the most soothing massages. you can literally just sit in the tub and not have to lift a finger

❥ will pat you down with your towel and get you into new pajamas (that he threw into the drier right before so they're extra toasty)

❥ detangles and blow dries your hair after, and this whole pampering session does somewhat lift how you feel

❥ makes you eat some dinner, but not too much so your stomach can handle it

❥ "thank you for all of this, hao" you tell him as you sip your soup

❥ "you don't have to thank me, it's my job to make you feel better" he tells you, "you don't ever have to hide not feeling well from me, okay?"

❥ will indeed tuck you into bed that day before he leaves too

seungkwan:

❥ unfortunately he's on tour when you get sick, so you really don't want to add to his stress

❥ but your boo is the kind that gets fussy even when you get a papercut

❥ he's the kind to insist on being the person to wrap your finger up with a bandaid

❥ so when he hears your groggy voice on your daily phone call it immediately catches his attention

❥ "somethings up" he concurs

❥ "what's up?" you ask

❥ "you're voice" he notes, "it's different than usual"

❥ "no it's not" you say, attempting to sound as normal as possible with your throat so scratchy

❥ "y/n, are you sick?"

❥ "no this is just my voice"

❥ a deep sigh. "you should really tell me when you're not feeling well..." and the lecture on why you need to keep yourself healthy ensues

❥ really, within this lecture you can tell he isn't mad, as his voice is really laced with concern and you have to tell him multiple times that it's just a cold and no he should not abandon the rest of his tour

❥ on top of the lecture, he asks you about your symptoms like he's a doctor while also making you promise to go see a doctor the next day (with a virtual pinky promise)

❥ he's still a bit pouty as you end your call but of course he still tells you, "you know i'm not actually mad and that i love you but i will be if you get sick again and don't tell me when i'm actually around" >:(

vernon:

❥ i feel like i write vernon as a confused person a lot but here it is again, he's confused

❥ why would you not tell him?

❥ obviously, he's also concerned when he comes over and you're coughing like crazy

❥ he's rubbing up and down your back as he asks, "why wouldn't you tell me about this?"

❥ "didn't want you to worry about something small"

❥ "well clearly, this is not something small" he says somewhat matter-of-factly, and after a moment he asks "are we not dating?"

❥ he's speaking so casually and without a single trace of annoyance

❥ "of course we're dating"

❥ "then you tell me," he says softly, "it's part of my boyfriend duties. it's like one of the immediate ones"

❥ this made you giggle, "you're disappointed you couldn't fulfill your boyfriend duties?"

❥ he scoffs but softens when you cough again, "well, yeah"

dino:

❥ "how could you not tell me! y/n" he exclaims when he comes over and sees your coffee table scattered with tissues and with you wrapped up in your duvet like a cocoon

❥ "didn't want to worry you, you have that comeback soon, right?"

❥ "that doesn't matter!" he partially whines, "not when you're home like this!"

❥ "i can't dance when i know my baby is sick!" he continues, dropping his body weight on the couch next to you

❥ "i'm fine i can handle myself-" you try with a voice already muffled by your runny nose, only to be interrupted by your own body needing to sneeze

❥ "but you're not fine! that sneeze made your whole house shake!"

❥ "chan you're making my head hurt more with your dramatic ass!" you whined, wincing at the volume of your own voice too

❥ this makes him calm down lmao, reaching over to you wrapped like a burrito to pull you close, "okay okay, i'll stop yelling, i'm sorry" he chuckles, "but can you promise to let me know next time so i can take care of you? please?"

❥ you rolled your eyes jokingly, but agreed

#svt #seventeen #svt hcs #scoups x reader #jeonghan x reader #joshua x reader #jun x reader #hoshi x reader #wonwoo x reader #woozi x reader #dokyeom x reader #mingyu x reader #minghao x reader #seungkwan x reader #vernon x reader #dino x reader #scoups x you #jeonghan x you #joshua x you #jun x you #hoshi x you #wonwoo x you #woozi x you #dokyeom x you #mingyu x you #minghao x you #seungkwan x you #vernon x you #dino x you #seventeen headcanons

[divine-misfortune]

cancelling the rest of my plans for the day bc your fleshlight post about phantom has me on the floor and I can NOT get up

The post in question :))

Dew stares up at him through those pale eyelashes. A look that could have been soft, innocent. Should have been. No, Dew was watching him with the attentiveness of a hungry dog despite everything else about him being relaxed. At ease. Something Phantom was far from.

Face still colored with humiliation, Dew only sought to deepen the violet in his cheeks - he wanted his embarrassment to be vivid, the closest thing to tangible he could get.

The fire ghoul kept his fingers curled around the hard plastic regardless of his little mewls of protest. Slowly rocking it back and forth, just enough to tug at his knot (but more so to remind him of how pathetic it was to be trapped in fucking fleshlight) and let a little bit of his cum dribble out. There had been the beginnings of a wet spot on the front of his pants to begin with, a little overzealous with lube, but it was growing to become far more noticeable.

Dew smiled up at him with the faintest hint of teeth as Phantom's nails dug into the couch cushions, another sound of objection starting to bubble up but Dew hushed him before it found its way to the surface.

"Just helping bug," he shifted onto his knees. "Wanna make sure you're properly taken care of."

His pale hair slipped from where it had been tucked behind his ear as he dipped his head, forked tongue flicking out to grace where skin and silicone met. Phantom screwed his eyes shut and tried not to buck upwards at the warmth of Dew's exhale. Breath audibly hitching when he was given more, he didn't know if it was too much or not enough. It was something and he couldn't wrap his mind around it, or anything for that matter. His brain was still fuzzy, had been since he'd first popped the head of his cock into the toy now serving as a means of torture, but Dew was steadily pushing him towards having straight up static in his skull with every little movement.

When Dew kissed over his sack in an oddly sweet gesture before taking one of his balls into his mouth, it was decidedly too much. Phantom sounded wounded with his cry and Dew let out a pleased sound in response. Little vibrations to accompany the languid caress of his tongue and Phantom's eyes were nearly crossing.

"Dew - Dew, fuck, you gotta-"

He pulled off with a satisfying pop that left the little ghoul sagging into the couch.

"I know baby, i know" the sympathy in his voice was just honey masking the medicine. "Your balls still feel so full, must hurt so bad."

"Wh..." he blinked slowly, brows drawing together.

Dew tutted at him and got off the floor, finding a new home straddling his lap. Phantom couldn't help that his hands automatically went to place on his waist, his blind obedience earned him a soft chuckle. Holding the toy steady in one hand, the other came to cup his jaw and turn his face upwards before Dew kissed him.

It was no longer a gentle push towards that far away headspace, more like a full-on shove when Dew's tongue slipped into his mouth. He could taste himself, kinda salty but heady all the same, mixed with something floral lingering in the other ghoul's mouth. Kinda reminded him of Mountain's breakfast teas. Familiar and the last solid thing he could hope to latch onto to not slip entirely, but that lasted as long as it took for Dew to start shifting the toy again.

Phantom moaned into his mouth, allowing Dew to lick that much deeper. There was a bit more give to the toy now, his knot deflating slowly, slower than he'd like but too quick for Dew's liking.

He pulled back and Phantom found himself sitting there with his tongue lolling out of his mouth, fixated on the string of saliva connecting them up until it broke.

"Gonna help you feel good," Dew's thumb stroked his jaw. "Make my good boy feel good, doesn't that sound nice?"

"But...'M sensitive."

"Just sensitive cause you didn't do a good enough job, silly boy."

"I-I didn't?"

Dew shook his head and tsked. Phantom's ears pinned back at his apparent disappointment but still twitched at the slick sound of the fleshlight stroking over him. The immediate discomfort of overstimulation felt further off but still around the corner, it wouldn't take much for the pinpricks of agonizing pleasure to dig into him again.

"I'm just gonna take care of you, get that knot nice and fat so nothing spills out."

His eyes fluttered when Dew's thumb pushed between his lips, heavy head dropping against the back of the couch with a groan. Dew had found an unfortunately efficient motion. Like a more complicated handjob in a way, stroking, twisting as soon as he felt resistance to his pull. Effectively milking him for everything he had - and Dew planned on taking everything he had to give. He could feel the last of the blood in his head rushing towards his cock. Traitorously staying fat and continuing to ache, his knot threatening to swell again, Dew had more control of his body than he did.

"Wanna see you fuck this pretty little pussy full."

#hello i made it worse :) #i did not proofread this so if u see mistakes no the fuck u did not #i speedwrote this during my break and got so into it i forgot to eat my lunch ghdbdh (eating at my desk tho dw) #void writing #spicy tag #writing #answered #nameless ghouls #phantom ghoul #dewdrop ghoul #dewdrop/phantom #aeon ghoul #the band ghost #the band ghost ficlet #ghost the band

[necros-writing-stuff]

Can I get some kinda Eden Fluff when it's period time? I'm having particularly shitty pre- cramps that are dropping me into a fetal position pretty quickly.

MORE EDEN PANICKING POVS HELL YEAH.

He's lost. Well and truly, lost. When you've spent most of your life living alone, and have never had a uterus or any of those parts associated with it, periods and how to handle them are alien.

His books are no help, it wasn't exactly a proper topic of discussion back when they were written, most mentions of it being something like "But alas, she was not with child as she had wished, for her bleeding time came as it always did."

So, when his darling spouse can barely get out of bed and is walking around hunched up like an arthritic 90 year old, his first (horrified) thought is food poisoning.

"Here, some bread." He offers it to you as you curl up on the bed once more after returning from the outhouse. "It helps."

You only look confused as you take it and nipple on the slice. "Bread? Really? I heard ginger helps, and a hot water bottle. Even orgasms. Never heard bread, though."

"... how are orgasms meant to help with food poisoning?"

Eden feels like a fool when you burst out laughing, clutching your tummy harder and letting out little "Ow,"s in between breaths.

"It's not food poisoning," you finally get out on a shaky breath, "it's period cramps."

Ohhhh. Yeah, he still doesn't understand.

"You get cramps when you have a period?"

"Well, yeah. Cause the uterus contracts and squeezes the blood out like a sponge."

He almost shivers at that. The thought of an organ just hurting when you've done nothing to the damn thing seems cruel.

"Do we have any painkillers?"

With a nod, Eden fetches his box of medicine he'd grabbed from the pharmacy. There's paracetamol, ibuprofen, codeine Bailey gave him cause the damn hospital in town requires a prescription. He lets you have your pick of which as he fetches some water to wash it down with.

"How long do they last?"

"Depends. Can be just at the start, can last a few days into it. Sometimes they get really bad and they're all the way through. And don't get me started on the lower back pain, either."

It can come with back pain? The animals in heat he sees don't seem to be in pain when they bleed. Why the hell do humans get pain?

"Oh, and sometimes you can get headaches too."

"I'm glad I don't have periods."

"You think this is bad, imagine giving birth."

Yeah, no. He's fine right now. He wants kids, sure, but thinking about labour sends his head reeling.

"Did they not teach you about this stuff in science class?" You reach for his hand and place it under your shirt, holding it to your tummy. "You're staying here by the way, no work today. Your hands are warm and it helps."

Eden almost protests before he remembers the food stores are stocked and there's enough firewood for the rest of the week.

"Like I said, I wasn't very good in school. Probably slept through that lesson." He climbs back into bed behind you, spooning you and keeping his apparently warm hands pressed to your stomach.

"... you said orgasms help?"

"Later," you giggle, "when it hurts a bit less. Right now I feel like I'll throw up on you if you jostle me around too much."

"So does the blood like... just drip down your leg? Like a wolf?"

"No, I bought pads, they're in my drawer. Might need to pick some more up, though."

"Oh."

He isn't quite sure he knows what a pad is.

#spill your guts #anonymous #eden the hunter #afab reader #i choose to believe he knows nothing about periods

[magoapple]

Work-out Buddies

Changbin x Neutral Reader

Word count: 1,138

Genre: Friends to lovers

Warnings: Suggestive language and actions, liking of sweaty changbin.

Summary: Changbin can't get enough of you and being just friends isn't cutting anymore. Little does he know you feel the same way.

Changbin and you have known each other for a few years, meeting mutually through Chan. When you first laid eyes on Changbin you were sold. What were you buying? Didn't know, but you were down bad for that man. You met Changbin when Chan offered to show you his gym he co-owned with Changbin. You had spoken about an interest in wanting to start working out, and he was there to help.

Fast-forward a few years and coming to the gym was a daily thing for you three, sometimes even just you and Changbin. When those days arose, you could not take your eyes off him. Every weight lifted, pull up pulled, and dribble of sweat was implanted in your brain. It probably would seem creepy if someone kept eyeing him down as he worked out, but Changbin did the same thing to you, just more discreetly.

He would look over and see you in the middle of your set of squats, watch a few and quickly look away. If Changbin watched any longer, he swore he'd cross the friendship line. Little did he know you wanted to cross that line ages ago. For the past few days, Changbin hasn't seen you at the gym, and he started to worry. After helping a few people with training, Changbin grabbed his phone and began dialing your number. “Come on Y/N, pick up pick up...”

Your apartment was a mess, and you weren't feeling up to cleaning it, either. Nor were you feeling like answering your phone that kept going off. These past few days, you came down with a cold, and it was hitting you hard. Therefore, you haven't been going to the gym, but you didn't let Changbin know. Chan was out of town, and that meant Changbin had to cover the gym by himself. You figured if you told him you were sick, that would just distract him from what he needed to do.

As you reached over to grab your phone from the dresser, you saw six missed calls and a few texts from Changbin and one call from Chan. You felt bad for having missed them, but we're still too tired to answer back. You knew you had to answer him soon, but five more minutes of sleep was needed. Changbin on the other hand was anxious after still not hearing from you. He cared a lot about you, and knowing that something could be wrong worried him. Even though he was worried, Changbin knew he shouldn't blow your phone up.

You literally have yourself five more minutes of sleep before getting up and taking more medicine. Since you were up, you figured you'd call your friends informing them you were still alive. When Changbin saw your name pop up, he was quick to answer. “Oh my god, Y/N! I was worried sick! Is everything okay?”

“Woah calm down cowboy, I've just been sick with a little cold and I actually think I'm doing better, just tired.” Changbin let out a sigh of relief. “You really had me scared, I was tempted to come over and call it an early day… I can still do that if you need me to, Y/N.” You were thankful for his gesture, but you also knew work was important. “Come over after work, and we can watch a movie or two.”

After a bit more of talking, you both hung up. You started cleaning up your apartment some before taking a shower. Both should have been done a couple of days ago, but now is better than never. You called in some take out from Changbins favorite place and occupied yourself with a movie until he came. Half-way through the film, you heard a knock on your door. “Y/N I'm here!” You chuckled, of course you knew he was here. As you opened the door, Changbin could see the dark circles under your eyes and felt his smile falter. “Y/N have you been eating enough and getting enough sleep?”

“huh? Oh, yeah, I promise, just been exhausted and sleep has taken over my whole life.” You laughed it off, but Changbin still seemed worried, so you grabbed his hand in yours. “Binnie I promise I'm fine now I ordered us food so let get our grub on!” Changbin could never say no to food, especially when it involved you. You could feel his eyes on you as you ate and wondered what he was thinking. “So how's the gym been? Missing me?”

“Yes… Actually, I have missed you Y/N. Why didn't you tell me you were sick? I could have helped.” You sighed and set your chopsticks down. “Because I didn't want you to worry, you had so much on your plate already, and I didn't want to add more.” Changbin understood where you were coming from, but that still didn't change how he felt. “Look I get it, but you should have told me.”

“Why should I have, we're just friends, and I was looking out for you." Changbin rubbed his face. “Because you're not just my friend Y/N and I care a shit ton about you!” In your years of being friends with Changbin he's never raised his voice at you. So hearing him do it was now shocking just as much as his words. “What do you mean, I'm not just your friend?”

“I mean, you're not just my friend and I thought it was obvious that I like you Y/N…" Changbin liked you. So you weren't dreaming when he would more than subtlety flirt with you or lay his hand on your thigh on occasions. “You like me?” Changbin turned towards you on the couch and held your face in his hands. “Y/N L/N, I Seo Changbin do indeed like you… Actually, I think I'm in love with you and have been, so can I kiss you to prove it and get the message through your cute little head.” You nodded quickly, too shy to even speak.

As Changbin pressed his soft lips to yours, fireworks went off in your mind. You don't know what took you so long to get to this point, but you didn't want to stop. Changbin deepened the kiss while pulling you into his lap. The feeling of his thick and muscular thighs against yours had your heart racing. You pulled away, resting your forehead against his. “Binnie?” He moved some of your hair out of your face and pressed kisses along your neck. “Yes love?” You giggled, gently pushing him back. “I think we should continue this somewhere more comfortable, don't you?” Changbin didn't even answer as he swept you up in his arms and began walking to your bedroom. “I'm definitely calling in sick tomorrow~”

◄Tumblrs system works on reblogs so if you'd like to support my content please reblog but do NOT feel obligated to►

#stray kids #fanfic #changbin x reader #kpop #changbin x y/n #skz ot8 #fluff #suggestive

[littlehypnone]

a little nervous cause I've never asked before but have you written about any of the ghouls feeling little when they're sick?

like a head cold or allergies (now that spring its here!)

i did write things roughly like that a few times, for example here, here, and here if you wanna check them out, but i scribbled something new for you

500 words, little phantom (they/them) and cg dew, allergy

Phantom has been sneezing for two days straight non-stop. It was maddening in the most negative way possible. He felt like he could and would cry, eyes stinging and burning, and he was going crazy, upset and overstimulated with it all.

After dinner—that he absolutely didn’t have an appetite for and that was only a series of sneezes—he holed himself up in his room, comforter up to his nose at first, but then he had to lower it to be able to breathe. He was so tired of it, he felt his mind slipping and they found themself reaching for their favorite plushie and clutching it tight to their chest.

Phantom closed their eyes, hoping sleep would take them without fuss and let them take a nap, but after what felt like hours of waiting, it didn’t come. They whined loudly and curled into an even tighter ball than they already were after another sneeze shook their body.

They heard their door opening, and if not their stuffy nose they’d recognize by the smell alone it was Dewdrop who entered their space. “Ant? You alright?”

The quintessence ghoul whimpered and opened their eyes. Dewdrop noticed immediately that they had dropped and he came over to sit at the edge of the bed. “What’s wrong, batling?”

“‘ve been s– sneezin’ all the time and ‘m t–tired, mama,” Phantom whined.

“Oh, my poor baby,” the fire ghoul put a hand on their head, gently scratching at their scalp in hopes of soothing the little ghoul a bit. “We’ve got ourselves a new ghoulie allergic to pollen, haven’t we?”

“Was’a lergic?”

“When spring is coming flowers have those silly powders,” Dewdrop started explaining as he was settling himself against the headboard and inviting Phantom to lay against his chest. “You can ask Mountain, he’ll tell you all about it. Those powders make some ghouls and humans feel bad, like sneezing and hurting eyes.”

“I h– have that,” the quintessence ghoul mumbled, offended.

“Yeah, turns out you do,” Dewdrop patted their head. “But don’t worry, there’s medicine. Aether will take care of it, alright, batling?”

“Okay, m– mama.”

“In the meantime,” the fire ghoul wrapped a hand around Phantom’s shoulders and scooted both of them down, laying properly in the fluffy nest. “You need a nap.”

“Mhm… ‘m tired.” The little ghoul snuggled themself into the other’s chest and kicked up a purr. Well, at least they tried because it soon got interrupted by another sneeze. “Ouch.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, batling,” Dewdrop cooed and hugged them tighter. “I’ll text Aether right away.”

“Mhm,” they hummed. The fire ghoul put a warm hand on their back hoping it would help at least a little bit. Phantom didn’t try to purr again, but their contentement was obvious to Dewdrop. Just as he promised, he texted Aether and when the quintessence ghoul let him know he’d prepare the meds, Dewdrop turned his phone off and cuddled around the little ghoul in his arms and closed his eyes, too.

#hypno writes #little ghouls #age regression #little phantom #cg dewdrop

[jasminedragonart]

Okay, so I've basically uploaded all of the selkie images in the first collection. I'm going to post the snippets here too. There's only three of them and they're not that long. Really they're just three snapshots into a fic I'm never going to write. So, after this post I'll have posted everything in the collection. If you want to have a pdf of all of them I'm going to put it up on Ko-fi later today, I'll post a link to it.

But, yeah, this is the first collection of selkie stuff. I think, for the next one, I might do an NSFW or slightly NSFW one with a bit more nudity. I don't like putting the nsfw with the gen artworks and what I've posted isn't that bad since, yeah, merfolk wouldn't often wear the bandages around their chests because they would get damp. So, yeah, the next one might be a little more risqué and the characters in there will be over 18. So, likely it'll be focused more on the LOK characters since Korra is defo over 18 in her own show. Plus, you know, her dilf dad and Iroh II are in that show too.

Anyway: snippets

         Day three of his imprisonment dawned with Sokka jolting awake when someone touched his tail. The automatic ‘HEY!’ he would usually aim at Katara died on his tongue as his eyes opened to red, red, fire, metal, red.

  Right. He wasn’t at home anymore. He wasn’t, well he didn’t even know where he was he just knew that barking at the teenager holding his tail wasn’t the best thing to do right now.

  The guy, Zuko, Prince pouty pants– amongst other names he’d heard the crew call him– didn’t seem to be trying to make him into Sokka stew. Instead, despite his grip being tight, his fingers were gentle as he rubbed something foul smelling on his– ow! Ow! Oh that stung.

“I’m sorry,” Sokka heard over the blinding pain. “I’m sorry,” Zuko said again, scowl hardening even further as he rushed to add more salve to the gashes in Sokka’s tail. “I only have a few more and then you’ll be done and– I knew I should have let uncle do this.”

  Sokka wanted to protest, he really wanted to say anything to this guy, but not screaming was on the top of his agenda right now and not screaming was what Sokka was going to do. No human sounds. That was what mom always taught them.

The salve stung even as Zuko fastened it back in the medicine bag. His tail was wrapped, Zuko eyeing him for a moment before taking off the upper part of his armour. Sokka only had a second to wonder how a kid his age managed to get muscles like that before he was hoisted into the air, his bathtub prison growing distant as he was carried out of the room and up to the upper deck.

  He was tied up. Naturally. After their second day together Zuko had learned that Sokka would do his best to jump overboard, injuries be damned, meaning a rope and a guard were constantly on Sokka whenever he was away from Zuko’s room.

  He wanted to pout, but the fresh air after being trapped in Zuko’s room? Amazing. Sokka was finally starting to understand why Katara always said his room stank. There was just something about the sweat of a teenage boy that made him want to puke. Or maybe that was just how Zuko smelled. How the fire that shot out of his hands smelled as he ordered one crewmate or another to spar with him in his daily melee.

  He wanted to say it was entertaining. It should have been entertaining. But Zuko was good. He was beyond good and he was Sokka’s age. It made him sick to think of what this guy would do when he was older. When the Southern Water Tribe came back onto the Fire Nation’s radar.

         A board slid over to him, Sokka knocking his head back as the other bane of his existence sat himself opposite him. “He’s rather good isn’t he?” Iroh said, sending a word of encouragement to his nephew before placing the tiles on his board. “He will be training for a while I think, I gave him some new scrolls to look over last night.” Yes, Sokka knew, the candles Zuko kept lit as he tried to read those scrolls keeping him up half the night. “What say we have a quick game while he finishes his warm ups?”

  Sokka forced himself not to respond. To never respond. Iroh didn’t know. Iroh couldn’t know. He was just… Sokka didn’t know but he wasn’t going to be the one to spill his tribe’s secrets. He’d already gotten himself captured by the enemy, the least he could do was keep his mouth shut while he waited for– for– well he didn’t know.

  Death? Release? Whichever was waiting for him he guessed.

  Iroh moved a tile on his board, those eerie eyes looking at Sokka expectantly. Sokka could feel his face twisting. He wondered if turning his back was too much of a sign he understood them?

  Iroh didn’t care. After a while he simply moved Sokka’s piece for him and, like the last time this had happened, explained the rules to him again like Sokka was simply confused, not scared for his life.

  All in all, it was a long morning.

  Truthfully, Sokka didn’t know what was worse. Time on deck, with Iroh watching his every move. Or time in Zuko’s room. True, there was no Iroh, or crew or the promise of freedom if he just untied himself and jumped overboard. But there was Zuko. Zuko and only Zuko and Sokka had never wanted to fill a silence as much as when he was trapped in that suffocating room with the guy who spent half of his time meditating and the other looking over maps and scrolls.

  His bathtub was the worst too. How did the Fire Nation use these things they were so cramped? Or maybe they were standard issue? Sokka didn’t know,  all the boats, the proper boats, back home had been taken by dad when he left. Maybe they had cramped bathtubs too. Still, he doubted dad spent hours upon hours inside of one every day.

  He missed dad. He missed Gran Gran. He even missed Katara, and when he missed Katara Sokka knew things were getting bad.

  He groaned, arching his back to try and move his tail into a more comfortable position. Something popped in his spine, the feeling not wholly uncomfortable.

Unfortunately it was loud enough that Prince fire hands heard it, rushing over from his desk to run worried eyes over him.

         “What was that?” He said, to himself Sokka was guessing since Sokka wasn’t supposed to know what he was saying and, unlike with Iroh, Zuko definitely thought he was a stupid dumb animal. He had to. There was no way the guy would be so… gentle, as he checked Sokka over if he knew what Sokka was. That being not stupid, or dumb. “Sorry,” he moved Sokka’s tail to the left, “I’m sorry,” he lifted it up, Sokka still impressed that the guy didn’t even break a sweat at the weight. Sokka was usually a light guy, but the tail added a few extra pounds.

  Eventually the examination got a bit much, Sokka batting the prince away much like he’d seen the polar dogs do to some of the kids. Zuko took the hint, his scowl making an appearance as he looked Sokka over one last time.

  “I suppose you’d be screaming if you were in pain,” Zuko mumbled before walking back to his desk. He glanced back every so often however, Sokka grumbling to himself as he tried, once more, to get himself comfortable for the night.

  Truthfully he didn’t know how he fell asleep. He still didn’t know how he’d slept the night before, or the night before that. All he did know was that he did sleep and when he woke Zuko was there again applying salve to his tail. Salve that needed time to air out, meaning no bathtub for Sokka. Meaning time with Iroh.

  On and on and on it went. An endless cycle. A punishment maybe? Whatever it was, it didn’t look like Sokka would be escaping it anytime soon and with each passing day he couldn’t help but wonder what would hurt less: a spear to his tail, or being burned alive by his captor?

SNIPPET 2:

         “You should leave,” Zuko sighed.

         “And then what?” Sokka asked, pulling himself up onto the bank. “You wouldn’t last a day without me.” Iroh might, but Iroh was a hardened war general. Zuko was… more pathetic than he looked, and he looked pretty pathetic right now. “What did you do to your hair?” It hadn’t looked… great before but, with the patchy hair growing in and the long patch at the back. Yeah, this wasn’t one of Zuko’s better looks.

  “I’ve done fine on my own before,” Zuko snapped. “I’ll be fine again. Go find uncle if you’re that desperate to bother someone!”

  Sokka forced himself not to bark back. He deserved some of this animosity, he knew that. He knew that if he had been carting around an animal that wasn’t an animal and had been listening to him be gooey and soft in his private time then, yeah, maybe he too would be as grouchy as Zuko. But he also knew not all of this was because of him. “I don’t even know where your uncle is,” for one, “and,” loathe as he was to admit it, “look, we have a common goal here. As much as I would love to swim home and never see you again you’re,” why was this so hard? “very persistent.” Amongst other things.

  Zuko gave him a look. “What?”

  “My sister is with the Avatar.” He could hardly believe it himself. All those weeks he’d spent listening to Zuko talk about the Avatar and his girlfriend only to find out his sister was that freaking girlfriend? He felt sick just thinking it. How had Gran Gran let this happen? “I don’t know how he managed to persuade her to go with him but I need her safe and home and not with that freak!” He was over 100, who knew what he was doing with her. “You know how to track him. You know where he's likely going next so,” he grabbed at his waist, the skin loosening until it fell into a cloak. Zuko’s cheeks reddened as Sokka wrapped it around his waist. “We do this together. I’ll help you take out my sister and you help me by finding them in the first place.”

  Zuko glanced over, then faced him fully when he saw the cloak wrapped around Sokka’s hips. “You’d really make a deal with me?”

  “You sang me a lullaby when you thought I was having nightmares, I think you like me enough not to kill me on our way there.” Their way back? Sokka would deal with that when they came to it.

  Zuko’s brow furrowed. “You realise my father wants him imprisoned.”

  Yeah, Sokka did. But he also knew he would burn down the entire world just to see his sister safe. The war had survived so far without the Avatar. Sokka was sure they could find a way to survive a bit longer if the Firelord took him out permanently.

         He held his hand out, “I can breathe underwater and I look as far from Fire Nation as you’re ever gonna get. I’m useful.”

         Zuko considered the hand for a moment before taking it, standing up himself. “Fine.” They shook on it. “But we take him alive. The terms of my exile were very clear on how the Avatar was to be returned home.”

  “Whatever.”

  They let go after a moment, Sokka flexing his fingers to get rid of the lingering warmth. It took a moment for both of them to get their bearings, for Zuko to take back the things he had stole. Once he did, he let Sokka in on what had happened while he’d been gone. How Azula was actually a bad guy– shocker! Also that Iroh was living in a cave.

  “You could have gone with a better haircut,” Sokka told him.

  Zuko’s cheeks reddened again, “I didn’t exactly have much to play with!”

  True. “I’ll fix it when it gets a bit longer,” Sokka decided. Maybe he would give Zuko a nice wolfcut. His own was quite dashing if he did say so himself. “A proper haircut could help you blend in with the locals. Make them less inclined to call your sister on you.” His scary, terrifying sister.

  Seriously though, how was it that the guy with the macho scar was the softie of the family?

  “Thank you,” Zuko offered quietly.

SNIPPET 3:

         “Wow.” Sokka honestly hadn’t believed it when Aang had said Zuko was his descendant. Yet, there it was, proof in the flesh. “That’s er-”

         “Uncle said it should grow longer,” Zuko said, his scowl settling into his features as he turned his small cloak around in his hands. Sokka meant small too. It must have been hidden when Zuko was a baby. Azula too, Sokka spying the other coat that had been hidden away in the Fire Nation archives 

  “It will,” Sokka promised. “The two of you just need a chance to get to know each other again.” He stepped closer, Zuko letting him run his fingers over the coarse fur. It was lighter than Sokka’s. It made sense, Aang’s was still white despite him being around the age his adult fur started to come in. Sokka wondered if Zuko’s would change as soon as he put it on or if he would get a few weeks of pure baby whiteness before whatever colour his tail would be grew in. “You know, this actually makes a bit of sense.”

  Zuko hummed in question.

  Sokka picked up Azula’s. “Our tails are a part of us, To be away from them,” he shuddered, “Gran Gran once told me people used to go crazy. That the Fire Nation would take our coats just to make us go crazy. Our tails balance us.” And to be without it, from birth? No wonder Zuko and Azula were so messed up.

  Zuko followed his gaze, promising, “I’ll get it to her. Maybe it’ll help her sleep.” Sokka knew he’d been worrying about that. The letters came in daily that Azula was growing more and more paranoid. She’d outright refused to eat her meals yesterday. She’d stopped sleeping long before that. He took the cloak off Sokka, putting it back into its trunk. He followed Zuko out, the door closing with a heavy click. “You really think this will work?”

  Sokka shrugged, forcing a smile on his face, “Only one way to find out.”

  Aang was practically bouncing when they found him. He’d wanted to come with them to the archives, but Toph had started destroying the royal garden and someone– not Sokka– needed to reign her in. Sokka felt quite bad for her as he spied her under a tree. Then he remembered how much Toph hated swimming to begin with and the guilt faded.

  Besides, Katara had promised to sit with her. The two of them had been talking about a bending battle at dinner last night, Sokka was sure the royal gardens would really be destroyed by the time they came up for air.

  He took his tunic off, unwrapping his coat from his hips and pushing his boots and pants down. Aang had already clambered into the small river that ran amongst the gardens, darting back and forth as he told Zuko to hurry up.

         Sokka glanced back, spying the hesitation in Zuko’s hands on his belt. “Katara’s not watching,” he teased.

         Zuko sent him a look, but it did its job of loosening Zuko up enough to actually take his clothes off. Not for the first time Sokka wondered how on earth Zuko still had muscles like that after the months of starvation they’d endured. He grabbed his own cloak up, walking to Zuko’s side just as the last of his clothes ended up on the grass. Handing his own cloak over, Sokka took Zuko’s off him.

  “Relax,” he told Zuko, “Your tail will fit.” He wrapped his arms around Zuko’s waist, separating the cloak out until it touched the small of Zuko’s back. There was a gasp against his neck and then Sokka had to act fast, Zuko’s legs falling out from under him.

  His tail was white, but the longer they both looked the darker ir appeared around the edges. Spots were appearing and changing, some of them as dark as Zuko’s hair, others a light gray.

  Aang wiggled his way over to them, pulling himself alongside Zuko so the two could compare colours. Sokka tugged his own tail on, happily falling to the grass in time for Aang to start dragging them both to the river.

  He remembered how daunting it had been when his dad first brought him swimming. The disbelief that he could actually breathe underwater. The hesitance in dunking his head. Dad had ended up flinging him into the deep end, mom yelling at him to be more gentle even as Sokka took his first breath under the water. He remembered the fish he’d seen. The penguin otters. He remembered how happy he’d been when he realised he could keep pace better with dad under the water than out. He remembered how happy his parents had been showing him all of this, and Sokka could kind of understand that now as he watched Zuko steel himself and, like he did everything, dive head first into the water.

  There was that moment of disbelief as Zuko breached the water. There was ease in which he realised swimming was so much more easier with a tail. There was the smile that Sokka hd seen only a handful of times in their year and a half together. The one did his upmost to bring out as much as he could these days.

  Sokka slipped into the water, lazily swimming around and catching Aang when he swam too close.

  Mostly he watched Zuko.

  He was caught more than once, yet it was only when Aang went to coerce Katara into swimming with him that Zuko swam over to ask “What?” and there it was, the shock again that he could speak. That he could be heard, not quite like they were above water, but Sokka knew what he’d said anyway.

         Sokka shrugged “I’m just happy for you.”

         Zuko gave him a smile. Another one to add to this list and– screw it, he dove forward, gently capturing Zuko in a kiss.

         “I’m really happy for you,” Sokka said when he pulled away.

  Zuko blinked at him a few times before another smile graced his lips. Before Sokka knew it he was being dragged down to the bottom of the river, Zuko clinging onto his shoulders as they kissed amongst the riverbed.

  He vaguely heard Katara call him gross, but Sokka didn’t care. Everything was finally alright in the world, why would he care what his little sister thought?

#selkie au #atla #zukka

[cyberaxolotl]

NPPHT (Non-Poisonous Plant’s Hidden Toxin)

Bugsnax Month Of Macabre Fic

Words: 3.9k

Shellsy focus

Content warnings: Mild injury, character death not in fic, a little rough around the edges

Illustrations: 0

AO3 Alternative (With plot details explanation in notes)

Fic under the cut

If there was one thing Shelda had become accustomed to on Snaktooth Island, it was struggling for food. Sauce was hardly sustenance, and her own physical inability stopped her from catching bugsnax herself, though that didn’t matter much; even if she could, she refused to make the first steps herself, and kept to her righteousness as long as she could.

It was there where her knowledge in herbology and plants could’ve been useful. Identify the edible plants, or at least their edible parts, and forage as much as possible. It was a generally good idea for those who could identify flora, but the island itself seemed to be against that.

She could identify every plant with ease, but it didn’t help when every plant was almost entirely poisonous. Foxglove, ragwort, hemlock, white snakeroot; other than sauce, only bad things grew from the ground. The island was designed to MAKE you eat bugsnax, and she had realized it very quickly. And when it came to the cacti, she didn’t have the right tools to get anything edible from them without more harm than good.

She was in the scorched gorge, looking around those patches of cacti, looking for any other kind of plant or succulent at their sides. She was on the verge of giving up on that search, until finally, something caught her eye. A plant with thick stalks and small white spikes.

Shelda bent down to it, getting a closer look. She grabbed a stalk and picked it off, seeing a bit of goop fall from the bottom, and she smiled. “Oh, thank Mother Naturae for her blessing…” She said to herself, pulling open the fleshy plant. And there it was, she could tell it now; aloe vera. The first mostly edible plant she’d seen on that island. She sat there and picked every stalk she could from the plant, hoping that the harvest she was getting would hold her over for the next few days. It wasn’t much, but it was more than nothing.

And that was how it started; a sheep-like grumpus feasting on the fruits of the island.

~~~~~~

About an hour later, Shelda had placed herself in her gazebo for a long afternoon of carving aloe leaves. She’d pull the stalk apart, get out what gel she could with her paw, then scrape the aloin away with a rock. She was sure she could use the latex for medicinal purposes later, but the rest was entirely to fill her stomach.

“Aaand what’s happening over here?” She heard a voice beside her, and turned over to see the journalist with their arms crossed. “What’s all this?”

“It’s aloe vera.” She said, looking back down at her stock. “Mother Naturae has blessed me with foraging the one non-toxic plant on this island.” She spoke with appreciation, holding up a scraped stalk.

“Really?” Their eyes widened. “I remember Filbo telling me he ate a plant that made him real’ sick. Is every plant around here like that?”

She shrugged. “They might as well be. This is the first time I’ve seen any kind of aloe here.” She grabbed another stalk, pulling it apart. “The most common plant around here is oleander, which shouldn’t be consumed at all.”

“I’m sure Gramble would’ve loved to hear that before getting food poisoning.” They rolled their eyes, looking away. “Are you gonna be sharing that?”

“It tastes like soap, child. Or,

soap tastes like aloe.” She noted, looking at the fruits of her foraging. “If you or Gramble want to have that over sauce then go ahead.”

She could see them cringe at the thought of it. “If it tastes like soap then why are you eating it?”

“Because sauce doesn’t sustain me. I’d take this batch of aloe vera over something that keeps me hungry.” Picking up an emptied stalk, she sighed. “Things get difficult as you get old, child. I am lucky that the mother blessed me with this.” With that, she took a bite.

“Euch.” They stepped back. “Have fun eating soap, I think.” Turning to the rest of town, they ran off.

“…” She watched them run off, then grumbled to herself. “That grump is always running off so suddenly…” She didn’t care too much as she got back to eating the plant’s parts, completely unphased by the taste.

When afternoon transitioned into evening, she’d had the full harvest prepared. Some stalks were left out for later, and the gel had been split between several cups. Using a handful of other herbs she’d carefully taken from Wambus, she’d made it into a sort of tea. A very thick, aloe-tasting tea, but a tea nonetheless.

She’d brought a bit of it with her to the fire.

“Hey Shelda!” Filbo greeted her happily as she joined the campfire group. “Whatcha got there?” He asked curiously, seeing her sit down with the cup.

“It is a tea made with gifts from the mother herself, a reprieve from weeks of starvation granted to me by nature.” She said with appreciation lining her breath, a smile on her face. “…I made it from aloe vera.” She added after getting several confused faces.

“You found aloe? Out here?” Wambus looked surprised, raising an eyebrow.

“In the gorge. I spared some to make sure they continue to grow, but I foraged as much of the fruits of nature as I could.” She took a sip, smiling with satisfaction.

“Well, I’m glad you found food, Shelda!” Filbo beamed, then his expression curled. “But, uh, doesn’t aloe taste all weird? And soapy?”

She sighed. “It IS commonly used for fur care rather than as something to be sustained by, but I’ve gotten used to bitter tastes.”

“…” He continued to stare at her for a second, then let out a held breath. “I can’t look at you and not think that you’re drinking soap.”

“Yep, that’s what I was about to say.” Wambus shrugged, looking at the fire.

“It can’t taste that bad if you’re drinking that much, right?” Chandlo asked, leaning forward.

Shelda pulled the cup away from her face, chuckling softly. “Oh Chandlo, my child… It’s horrid. But it’s as I said, it’s the best I have.”

They all stared at her for a few moments more before a camera shuttered behind them. “Ha! Granny’s drinking soap!” They all turned to see Beffica, holding her camera up with a grin on her face, and then scurrying off.

The old woman slouched with a sigh, holding her cup close to her chest. “I have a strong sense that I’ll be hearing that from her for quite some time.”

“Well, I mean…” Filbo hesitated for a second, looking away. “You ARE drinking it.”

“But it’s not soap, dawg!” Chandlo said, turning to him.

“She said it tastes like it!”

“I said it tasted bad.” She rolled her eyes for a moment, then sipped from the cup again. “For a change of pace from this discussion, Wambus, would you care to try growing aloe vera yourself?”

He shrugged. “Wouldn’t be the worst idea, but I don’t recall it bein’ very quickly growin’.”

She hummed sadly. “It was worth a try.” She turned back to the fire, and the conversation turned silent as the fire blazed on.

~~~~~~

Months passed, and the aloe vera forage had emptied in the first couple of weeks. It was a treat enough that Shelda appreciated it, but after long enough, she’d pretty much forgotten about it. She returned to a state where she sustained herself on herbal teas, and the occasional bugsnak that the journalist would give to her through the box. And really, the bugsnax would feel so much better than the aloe ever would.

It was one of those days where Scarla had enough snax for everybody in town, and felt generous enough to give one to everybody, even if it meant the means would be a little annoying.

“Hey, Shellsy.” They walked up to the gazebo, looking up. “…What is going on this time?”

The older woman had her back against one of the wooden poles of her home, rubbing against the corner of it. “Pardon me for just a moment, Echoyear…” She held a paw up, trying to get the wood into the crook of her neck. “…I’ve been terribly itchy this morning.” She pulled off, stumbling a little. “What do you want?”

“I was bringing you some lunch, I caught a lot of bugsnax today,” They reached into their squirming backpack, then pulled out an aggroll. “You’ve been itchy today?” They prompted her to continue.

She took the snak from their paws. “I tried making a poultice for it, but it wasn’t quite what I’d hoped for. I’d almost say it made it worse.” Putting it in her mouth, she ate it the same way anyone else would as she sat down. “I’m- gh- sure it’s just a typical rash.”

“…” Scarla stared blankly at her for a few seconds, eyes widening after a moment. Then, their eyebrows furrowed. “Are you okay?”

“..?” She raised an eyebrow at them. “Other than being itchy, yes. Are YOU okay?”

They grunted under their breath. “Oh I’m sorry, I’m just a little surprised after watching you stumble on your own hooves and then eat a bugsnak without waiting for me to even turn around.” They crossed their arms, “It’s unlike you to do that.”

“..!” After a pause, her eyes widened. “Goodness to the mother, I didn’t realize.” She put her paw on her forehead, looking dazed after a moment.

“Seems like you might be more sick than just itchy fur. You’re usually pretty on top of your act.” They stepped back, letting the older woman regain her composure. “Maybe sleeping in a bed instead of out like this at night would help.”

She shook her head at the idea. “I made my choice to have my living space be this way, I will not let it go now.” Getting back on her hooves, she stood up. “I’ll make more poultice and a cup of tea. I’m sure I just need to steady myself this afternoon.”

They watched her grab the nearest support beam as she stood up, leaning against it. “…You know, I CAN ask Eggabell if she’ll come down here and look at you. She might be preoccupied with the mystery, but I don’t think she’d leave someone like this if they’re in need.”

“I’m not in need, my child. I’m a little disoriented.” Shelda waved her paw at them. “It will pass.”

“…Eh.” They rolled their eyes. “If you say so.” With that, they walked away.

She silently watched them leave, then turned to her collection of herbs and spices. She was sure that her remedies usually worked, but if one batch of poultice didn’t relieve the itching, then another wouldn’t either. As soon as she thought about the itching, it returned, crawling up her back in an almost painful manner. It was going to be a LONG day.

But it wouldn’t be just a day.

Another month later, and the itching still hadn’t passed, nor had stumbling, or disorientation, or Shelda’s unfocused behavior. In fact, it seemed like they’d all gotten worse. It’d started taking her longer to get from her home to the firepit, she started talking less around the fire, she wasn’t sitting like she usually would, and she’d started sleeping laying down. She tried every remedy she could mix, and not one worked, but she wouldn’t give in until she had to.

And one day, she did.

It was the afternoon transitioning into evening, and after what felt like incredibly long of itching her back and neck on a beam, it was time to meet by the fire. Part of her considered not going, and instead staying there and going to sleep early, but she wouldn’t give in to herself. Not that easily. It was just the steps down from her gazebo and then the smooth walk to the center of town.

“…-!” A sharp gasp came out as she stumbled on the edge of the wood, falling forward and hitting her shin on the lower step, then planting hard onto her wrists and front on the ground. Her mind was filled with a sharp ringing as she heard small cracks from parts of her that she couldn’t identify. All of her thoughts were so foggy that she couldn’t place where they were coming from.

She didn’t make a sound as she turned her head, feeling dirt stuck on her face, and suddenly unable to move the rest of the way. Any noise she tried to make was stifled in her throat, feeling stuck as she waited. Somebody had to find her.

“Oh my gosh!” After what felt like forever, she heard somebody find her, and she didn’t look up to see who. She recognized the voice, and had to let things go by on their own. “Shelda, what just happened-?!” She let herself be turned over, finally looking up at the orange sky and the grumpus who was helping her. Her and Triffany weren’t quite friends, but she’d take the support.

“…” Shelda looked tiredly up at the raptor-like grumpus, disoriented and pained. Part of her was still very confused about how she had fallen, and she couldn’t get any words out.

“Um- Scarla! Chandlo!” Triffany looked away and called for her fellow grumpuses. “You’re lucky I was on my way through town, I don’t know if anyone woulda found you for a while, did you just trip-?”

Quickly enough, two other grumpuses were right by her, and a few more standing further away. “Grumps sake- Shellsy!” Scarla kneeled down by her, harshly making eye contact. “I know you’ve been stumbling recently but this is ridiculous.”

“Shelldawg-?” Chandlo squeaked out. “What’s happening?”

She slowly held her paw up, barely able to lift her arm up. She was very sure she had hurt a bone in some kind of way, but that had to wait. “…The doctor.” She hissed out, eyes narrowing at the journalist.

“Eggabell, got it.” They leapt to their hooves, stepping back. “I said we should’ve gotten her to look at you when this started but you didn’t listen…” She heard their voice trail off as they ran away.

“Get her upright, I don’t think she should be laying down.” She heard someone say, then felt Chandlo’s arm go behind her shoulder. With little force, she was pushed up, then held up by Chandlo and Triffany.

“Are you cold-? You’re trembling a lot.” The archeologist asked, getting no response. Shelda could only look between those around her as she waited to be evaluated, too disoriented, tired, and painfully itchy to focus and talk. She’d found it easier to be quiet than to talk in the previous weeks.

“What did Scarla mean when they said this started before?” Chandlo asked, looking around.

“I-I mean, she has been really quiet these evenings.” Filbo started, “And the scratching, and sitting weirdly, I thought she was getting sick, but I also thought she’d get over it.”

She sat in silence as everyone around her talked about her. “We can ask Scarla how long this has been going on for, but right now, we gotta wait for Eggabell.” Triffany shrugged, looking away.

“It’ll be alright. I’m sure it will.” Chandlo looked hopeful, but worried. “We wouldn’t lose the wisest one in town like this.”

She hadn’t even considered that her sickness could’ve been so severe. Really, she hadn’t been thinking of anything. All of her mind was too preoccupied by the constant stinging and ringing in her ears.

“What happened-?” Quick footsteps and a new voice entered her earshot, though faint.

“We’re not sure.” Triffany got up, “I found her down like this and Scarla said something about her being sick recently.”

“Stop crowding around. Everyone go do your own thing, I need to evaluate her.” Eggabell waved her paw at the crowded townspeople, her and Scarla reaching the group.

Triffany got up and let Chandlo continue to support Shelda while everyone else dispersed. “Can I stay?” He asked Eggabell as she walked up to the collapsed grumpus.

“I… Sure, Chandlo.” She sounded hesitant, but sighed as she kneeled down. “Shelda?” She was noticeably intimidated as she made eye contact with the sheep-like grumpus.

“…” Some part of her made it impossible to respond beyond moving her eyes, her gaze narrowing.

“…Ugh. Scarla, what’s been going on with her?” The doctor turned to the journalist.

“I'm not exactly sure. She’s stopped talking as much, she barely keeps up the righteous schtick, she’s been itchy all the time, and I’m going to assume by how much she’s been stumbling that she ended up tripping here.” Scarla explained, looking around.

“So she’s had pruritus, has been losing her coordination, and her behavior is faltering?” Eggabell checked, getting a nod. “Ah, um… Chandlo, do you know if she’s particularly light right now?” Her voice got more tense.

“Huh-? She’s always been pretty lightweight, but…” He shifted his hold on her a little, still supporting her balance. “I guess she is kinda off.”

The doctor took a deep breath, looking away. “Okay, so… Based on her history of osteoporosis, right now I think she’s cracked a bone or two from the fall, but… What I’m more worried about is that these all sound like symptoms of scrapie.”

“Symptoms of what now?” Scarla raised an eyebrow.

“It’s a degenerative prion disease found exclusively in sheep and goat grumpuses that causes all of these symptoms.” She explained, only to get more confused stares. “What’s strange is that there are no other grumpuses like that besides her on the island, and it’s spread through, uh…” She motioned vaguely with her paws, “Sharing… fluids..?”

Shelda herself managed a glare at that sentence, while the other two just looked disturbed. “Well if that’s what she has, then how do we treat it?” The journalist asked.

“That’s the thing- you don’t.” Eggabell sighed. “Scrapie is a degenerative disease in the brain that starts as behavioral changes and then ends as complete motor failure. There’s been no attempt to find a cure for it or any type of prion disease.”

It was clear that the doctor was struggling with empathy at that moment, partially from her lack of connection with Shelda, but the other two more than made up for it. “…You’re serious?” Scarla’s eyes narrowed. “There’s a disease that destroys some grumps completely and they haven’t even tried to treat it?”

“E-even if it could be, we don’t have what we need on the island.” Eggabell grabbed her arm, sitting upright. “I’m sorry. I can help with her injuries from the fall but I can’t do anything to stop this.”

“If you can’t treat it, how long does she have?” Chandlo asked quickly, looking between his friend and his older figure.

“I don’t know exactly. Symptoms can take up to a year to show after contracting it,” She turned to the journalist, “Do you know when it started?”

“I saw her stumbling for the first time a month ago.” They answered quickly, not looking at the doctor. Shelda looked lost and confused, but bitter at the same time.

“Okay, then… She might have another month or two left, but if she’s already been going quiet and losing motor control, they aren’t going to be good ones.”

They scoffed. “You go back to the mountain, Eggabell. We’ll stay here.” There was a bit of bitterness in their voice now.

Eggabell took in a sharp breath, then stood up. “Make the most of her time.” She said quickly, then hurried off.

“Ech. I guess she didn’t know her that well, but jeez…” They rolled their eyes, looking away.

“…We forgot to get her to help with her bones.” Chandlo noted after a pause, still looking down at Shelda.

“I don’t think that’s going to help much, whatever’s used to help with cracks might just make the itching worse.” Finally, they turned to the woman they were around. “I’m sorry, Shellsy.”

“…” Again, she was unresponsive.

“Shelda?” The athlete asked, getting her attention. “I’m gonna spend all the time I can with you. Does that work?”

“…” There was no change in her expression other than the slightest relaxation. “…The mother blesses you.” She let out, then turned to her gazebo. “I need my rest.”

“Were you quiet on purpose when Eggabell was here?” Scarla asked, getting a small nod. “Alright then. Chandlo, get her up. I’m gonna get a blanket from my hut.” They turned around, walking off.

Over the next minute, Chandlo carefully helped the older woman back to her place, and leaned her against a support beam. The journalist returned with a red blanket, but was quickly stopped from putting it down.

“I won’t need it. Not now.” Shelda looked over at them, “Wait until tonight.”

They folded it and placed it next to her. “Scrapie…” They muttered as they sat down with the two, “How the grump would you have gotten that? There’s not another sheep on this island.”

“I also haven’t been with any other grumpus than my wife in fifty years, and she’s a cat.” She looked up, thoughtfully. “…I do hope someone will take care of her once the expedition is over.”

“You have a wife?” Chandlo asked, confused and surprised. “You never told us about her.”

She chuckled slightly. “Harpila’s one of the kindest grumps you’d ever meet. We’d go to town potlucks and she’d bring the best dish, and she’d always make extra to donate afterwards.” She looked happy while she spoke, then turned away, looking at her pile of belongings. “…Scarla, would you open that chest for me? The code is 1920.” She motioned at a very small personal chest.

The journalist did as asked, walking over and picking it up. When they turned the combination lock and popped it open, they were surprised to find a pile of small papers, envelopes, and a worn pencil. “Bring it here,” She beckoned them, “I have something to write to her.”

They handed her the chest then sat down again. They were surprised at how calmly Shelda was taking it, but considered that the behavior changes were numbing her. Watching her go through the letters, they realized that they were all addressed to Harpila. “Do you want one of us to take these to her once we’re all home?” They asked.

“I would,” She closed the chest after taking out a blank page and the pencil. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath, turning to Chandlo. “Chandlo, my child, I’d like you to do it.”

“-!” He took in a sharp breath, eyes widening a little. “…Yeah, yeah, I’ll do it! But, why me?”

She huffed a little. “Child, I know who you see me as. You’ve told me about your childhood.” She slowly held a paw out for him, “Harpila would be very happy to hear that someone saw me as motherly, and would love to share wisdom with you herself.”

He stared at her with wide eyes for a moment, and then a smile crossed his face. She smiled and turned away from him, looking down at the blank page. “…Oh, to find the words…” She mumbled.

“Would it be better if I left?” Scarla asked, looking away. “I think everyone else would want to hear about what’s happening.”

“You can go tell everybody.” She waved her paw at them in dismissal. “…And you can stay, my child.” She assured Chandlo, who looked ready to get up as well.

The two fell into silence as Scarla walked away, and Shellsy wrote a letter of her end.

#bugsnax #tori’s writing tag #shelda woolbag #scarla echoyear #chandlo funkbun #filbo fiddlepie #eggabell batternugget #cyberaxolotl’s month of macabre 2023

[pbandjesse]

I am wheezing a little right now. Which is frustrating. But fine. I just took some medicine and hopefully it calms down whatever it is that is causing this.

Today was a pretty good day. I got so much done and that felt good.

We didn't get to bed until really late. We got home a bit after 11. I took a miserably cold shower. And was probably asleep by 1. I had played around on my phone for a while. I sort of remember James leaving for work. But I would sleep until 930.

Pretty soon after I woke up my dad called me. He sounded so bright. He told me he tried to convince the nurses to let him sign himself out against medical advise so he could enjoy how nice it was outside and then he'll come back. But they told him no. Silly goose.

We wouldn't talk long but it made me feel nice. Which was ideal because I did not feel nice this morning.

For one I was so tired. I wanted to go back to sleep but also I hate sleeping later then 930. Like I don't mind taking a nap but there is something that doesn't make me feel more rested from sleeping late. I don't know what that is about.

But I would lay in bed for a long time. A little before 1030 I would finally get up. I got dressed in soft clothes because I decided I could not go out today. I did not have it in me. So instead I would focus on house projects.

I would make a little bagel. And went upstairs to pick out some outfits for the week. I was feeling really bad about myself. About my face and hair. I tried very hard to not focus on it but I was feeling incredibly low, self esteem wise.

I decided to open all the windows. And start to go through my closet and pull out the very wintery clothes and pick things out from storage that were lighter.

And that would take a while but it was fun. Finding things I haven't seen for a while. But then all of a sudden Sweetp has torn through the small tear in the screen and he was half way out the window!!! I freaked out and grabbed him and that scared me and him I just kept telling him how unsafe that was and I closed that window and was a little shaken up. We both were. Ugh.

But things would be okay. I would finish putting away my clothes. And decided to start my next project.

I had changed my mind about the shelves we got at Ikea for the living room and so I wanted to use them still and decided that they could be good for the little room. I would have to assemble them, and used a level. But they still came out slightly crooked. But I think they are great.

I would finish putting those together around noon. And would pick some objects and books to go on the shelves. I then sent some time putting objects on those shelves and rearranging the layout of the books. James had put them by topic or genre. And I did not change that but I put some laying down so I could put things on them and I then it looks great. I love the progress being made.

I attempted to move the small sofa next. This is not heavy but it is awkward and the house is kind of narrow. So this was no small task. I moved everything off the sofa and started sliding it to the stairs.

I was able to get the thing up the first step of stairs. But then it got stuck and I had to climb over the banister and pull myself up to get over onto the landing to try and pull. And I got it up but it was getting stuck on the book case. And then it was just trapped. I could only laugh.

Right before I had started the sofa project I had put a little pizza in the oven. And of course this is when the timer went off.

So I had to climb under the sofa to get down the stairs to get my lunch. I bumped my head and the whole thing was pretty comical.

I had my lunch and started hanging small shelves next to the pantry in the kitchen. And it's very eclectic, like everything else. And I am not 100% sure it's the final placement but it was fun to do. Even when it was very frustrating. Like when I couldn't get the hardware to line up the way I wanted. But it was still fun in the end.

I tried the couch again. But it kept getting stuck on the banister. And I was able to stand it up at least so I could go upstairs in down the stairs and it was fine. James would help me later.

I was still feeling really bad about myself. And I thought that maybe a day time shower would help. I also deciding to use some of my hair glaze to see if that would help me feel better. And honestly it really did. The shower actually got warm, it just took forever. But I got clean and washed the glaze out of my hair and I felt more like myself.

I did my makeup and actually partially dried my hair with a hair dryer. And I put on a jumpsuit I had pulled out of storage that I absolutely love. And all of this helped me feel a lot better.

The glaze stained my fingernails so I would take my polish off. And while I was thinking about my next move I went and got paint and tape and started preparing the stairwell to get painted.

I then started a really painting. And I was just having a lot of fun. I was only going to paint around the tape but then I just kept painting. I listened to a documentary while I painted and it was just lovely.

I would lose some steam and got tired. I would get on the couch with sweetp and cuddled up there and waited for James to come home. And they would get back a little after 5. They didn't even have a jacket on! It was very nice out. I had stood outside for a little. I hope nice weather continues.

We would hang out on the couch together. And talk about the day. And eventually we went to the stairs to get the little sofa up to the small room.

And it was a little tough but we worked together and got it up there and I'm really pleased.

We decided we would go to a diner for dinner. And it was a nice time. We took a back roads way and got to see some parts of Greek Town I hadn't seen yet. And the diner was great.

We talked about the plans tomorrow. Our home depot list. Everything that has to get done. Busy day. But hopefully it just keeps bringing our home together.

We had some laughs and talked and it was a good dinner. And I was ready to go home.

When we got back here I would clean the frog tank. Which is always so dirty. But it's so much easier to clean now that it's not on top of a tall book case. And James would cut their hair (I had to fix the back after they took a chunk out of the back!!) and grab a shower. They would also help hang the vacuum in the basement finally. And I would hang some art in the small room. It's really coming together.

I got into jammies and have been in our room for a bit now. I am still wheezing a little. I am ready to go to sleep. Hopefully I can lay down because I had to sit up as my breathing was being so weird. But I am okay right now. Despite the wheezing.

Tomorrow we have much to do. And I hope we get a whole lot done. I hope you all have a nice day. Take care of yourself! Until next time!

[stagkingswife]

I started this yesterday, but needed to walk away from it for a while before I could finish it…

@a-witch-named-crow, this is a big enough topic that I'm pulling it into it's own post, because I can't imaging fitting it all into a reply. I'm also going to put most of it under the cut, because I'm going be very frank about my chronic pain and my relationship with it, and I know that can be a bit much for some people.

I was diagnosed with CRPS when I was a sophomore in high school, this was long enough ago that it had a different name and the only possible treatment options would have involved taking me out of high school to send me to CHOP, or Mayo, or the Cleveland Clinic for intensive physical therapy in the slim hopes that it would normalize the pain. This really crushed me for a little bit. I was one of those kids who sort of was defined by being a good student, I couldn’t imaging my life if I interrupted school in anyway. I had also been told that I should stop dancing, given that it was likely the cause of the pain, and would surely only make it worse. But I had just been cast as Odette in Swan Lake, I was going into Junior year with a heavy class load, I had been promoted to section leader in the marching band, and I was not ready to slow down.

So I decided at 15 that if there were such slim chances of treatment working I wasn't going to put anything on hold for my pain. At the time it wasn’t too bad, I would have flair ups where it was bad, but a normal day was maybe a 2-3 on the scale. I could manage may life with that. I think that was what really set the stage for my relationship with my pain. Once I decided that I wasn't going to slow down I kind of turned it into a motivator. A lot of things came to be about doing things despite my pain. I took great pride in doing everything my able bodied friends were able to do, and sometimes more, despite my pain. That drove me for about 4 years until I was in college, and the other shoe finally dropped.

When things got really bad my junior year of college and I finally actually sought treatment I was severely depressed and suicidal because of the pain. But luckily I already had the diagnosis, which is usually the hard part, and in the intervening four years the treatment options had really changed. I was finally able to get some treatment, both opioid and non-opioid pain medicine, started physical therapy, bio feedback, acupuncture, the whole 9 yards. But the habit was already there, the relationship had already been formed. I have struggled since with admitting how much pain I’m in, and letting myself take the time I need to really manage it, but I’m so used to letting it push me. I’m better at it now almost 10 years later, but I can still fall back into that habit when I have something like a deadline to meet.

I did also learn how to use my pain in my craft. Around the same time as my pain was getting bad I was really developing my traveling skill with Oisin as my teacher. I found my pain was something that I could use to help me in that. With a lot of practice I was able to sort of let my pain wash over me until I wasn't aware of anything else, and then I could let go of my body easier. It was like I could dive down deep into the pain, go through it, and step out into the Otherworlds. I've gotten so good at this method that on particularly bad pain days I’ve found this method to be incredibly fast. There’s been some struggle over the years with not using this skill to avoid my pain, but it has simultaneously really helped me to shift my mindset about my pain as see it as a useful tool rather than as an adversary or a detriment.

From there I started to think about how else I could use my pain in witchcraft and in my religion. I sling a nasty curse because I share my pain liberally when necessary. But I also have a whole ritual that I undertake as part of my devotion to Brona where I take on some of the pain from others, lighten their load. Because what’s a little more when I know I can manage it?

#pagan #witchcraft #the returning #paganism #astral #chronic illness #chronic pain #crps/rsd #crps

[chasingmidnights]

A Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Title: A Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day 

Summary: You were once a working member of society, hell you were normal even. But then something happened and it’s like a switch flipped in your brain. You slowly started to decline. Your best friend, Tony Stark, was the first to notice and was able to get you the help you needed. 

Warnings: hallucinations; underlying schizophrenia; mentions of taking prescription medicine; mentions of living in a psychiatric hospital; I believe those are the major warnings to look out for and I apologize if I miss anything but you are responsible for what you read. 

Word Count: 1,181

It started off as a pretty normal day, well, as normal as it could get for you. Your alarm startled you awake at eight in the morning causing you to sigh. Sleep was against you last night, doing nothing but tossing and turning. You wanted nothing more than to roll back over and fall back asleep. You were about to too but then a knock came from your door. Knock, knock, knock! You groan as you begrudgingly climb out of bed to answer the door. You remove the sleep from your eyes just before opening the door. Confusion fills your mind and is written all over your face when you see that no one's there. You poke your head out into the hallway but find it empty. 

You sigh. Come on, not today you thought to yourself. You’ve been doing so good. You walk over to your bedside table and grab your prescription bottle only to find it empty. This causes you to sigh again, you need to get ready for your therapy session. You didn’t have time for this. Maybe you could have Tony or Bruce drop it off to your room while you’re getting ready. You bite at your fingernails for a moment before picking up your cell phone and calling Tony. It rings a few times before Tony finally answers. You explain to him that you're out of your antipsychotic medicine and he agrees to bring you a new bottle. You thank him before hanging up and you relax a little bit. Taking a deep breath, you start to get ready for the day. 

Just as you were finishing up, another knock comes from your bedroom door. The knock causes you to freeze and your breath catches in your throat. You close your eyes and count to five. But then another knock raps at the door, followed by a voice. 

“Hey Squirt, you in there?” It was Tony. 

A sigh of relief comes from your mouth and you emerge from the bathroom. You smile when you see someone is actually there, especially since it’s Tony. “Hey T.” 

“You good over there?” He raises an eyebrow as he inquires. 

You nod. “Yeah, just didn’t sleep well.” 

“Alright, well we need to leave for your therapy session in five minutes.” Tony replies, he then turns to leave but quickly turns back around. He pulls out an orange tinted pill bottle. “Oh, I almost forgot. Here’s what you requested.” He then hands you the bottle and you accept it almost immediately. 

“Thank you T, you’re a lifesaver.” You walk over to your bedside table and begin to take your proper medicine for the morning. You gulp it all down with some water, with a bottle that you keep on your bedside table. 

You close your eyes for a brief moment, taking in a deep breath and slowly letting it out. When you look back over to where Tony was, he was gone. Your face scrunches up in confusion, was he not there just a moment ago? You look over to your bedside table and see that there’s a fresh, new bottle. Please, not this again. You rub your temple before getting up to put your shoes on. You hope this doesn’t last long. 

Fifteen minutes later, you’re in your therapist’s office and your leg is bouncing out of nervousness. You swear every time that you come here, time just stops. You look everywhere but your therapist’s gaze but you can still feel her eyes boring into you. She already has her notebook open and has even written down a few things. You wonder what they are as you pick at your fingernails. You find yourself staring out the window. A snapping sound brings you out of your thoughts and you turn your attention towards her. You finally meet her gaze and she lets out a deep breath. 

“You know, avoiding me isn’t going to make this any easier or make this magically go away.” She says, her voice firm. 

You let out a huff. “I know. It’s just been a rough morning. I didn’t sleep well last night.” 

You didn’t technically lie to her. 

The doctor nods her head in understanding. “And why’s that? Did you have a nightmare?” 

She knows you have them quite often but that wasn’t the reason for your lack of sleep. This time, anyway. “No, I just felt restless.” 

“Do I need to recommend a sleeping aid?” She inquires, arching an eyebrow. 

You take a moment before answering, shaking your head as you do. “No, I don’t think that’s necessary.” 

You watch as she makes a quick note. A tense silence fills the room as you wait. “So, how have your episodes been?” 

A lump forms in your throat and it becomes hard to swallow. You finally get it down, allowing you to finally answer. “They’re manageable. Sometimes I can just close my eyes and count to five.” 

She nods her head as she scribbles something down. “You know you’re a terrible liar right? Has the medicine been helping at all? Are you taking them when you’re supposed to?” 

You had pulled your knees up to your chest while sitting on the couch and had rested your head on your knees. You lift your head up to look at her. “Yes.” 

When the hour was finally over, you couldn’t have been more grateful. You just wanted to go back to your room at Stark Tower and take a nap. But it seems as though life had other plans because you found yourself wandering through Central Park. It was almost like you were in a daze and when you came to, you began to wonder how you got there. 

Meanwhile, Tony Stark was signing in at the front desk of the Manhattan Psychiatric Center to visit you. He gives the receptionist a quick wink while he waits for a nurse. He started tapping his fingers on the countertop, he was anxious to see you. When a nurse finally came, she led him down the hallway towards your room. It was almost too quiet for Tony’s liking, the only thing that could be heard were their footsteps. There was also the sound of a clock clicking nearby. The nurse finally stopped outside of your room causing Tony to do the same. The pair peer inside your room through the small glass window on your door. You were hugging your knees to your chest as you sat in the chair in front of your desk and you were rocking yourself. 

“How’s she been?” Tony inquires, glancing over at the nurse. 

“She’s on one of her better days Mr. Stark. She’ll be happy to see you.” The nurse answers with a small, tight lipped smile. 

The pair look at you for a moment longer before Tony enters into your room. To everyone else you were having a good day, the nurse even said so. But if they really knew what was going on in your head, they would know you were having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

#tales of a whumpee newbie #writing challenge #october writing challenge #tony stark #tony stark x best friend reader #robert downey jr

[factorialsotherfandoms]

I was checking my notes to write the Pac nearly dies xcom bit and oh boy that mission was rough and I don't know how to give that one bit weight when on that mission, in approximate order...:

its a civilian rescue while they're under attack mission. So ever round a civilian is murdered until either you rescue them all or they're all dead, or the mission ends (or a combo of the teo)

one of the chosen (minibosses) shows up and causes trouble all mission. The magic using one.

Philza, who is incharge and the only healer, gets punched in the face so hard he's down to 2HP and a concussion

Miniboss summons magic zombies which explode on Roier badly injuring him

How Pac gets downed - tries to rescue a civilian hiding in a garage, they're not actually and transform into a monster. Monster slaps him in the face (or this thing is like 10 foot transformed) and keeps swinging, also hitting a robotic enemy in the fuel tank. Said fuel tank explodes. Pac is caught in the explosion. The explosion also catches a nearby car which /also/ explodes. Again, Pac is right next to it when it does.

Those explosions? Missa was sniping from the roof of the garage. They destroy the roof. He both gets a bit caught and falls multiple storeys due to first explosion, then gets caught in the edge of the second. 1HP left.

Mike has a panic attack (understandable), of the fight variety.

Philza uses his last two medical charges to stabilise Pac and heal Missa while Roier takes out the monster causing the explosions. Well. Philza gets his little friend robot Brian to do it as Mike will shoot anyone who tries to get close to help. Other people with medical stuff at the start were Roier (used his on Phil) and Pac (not accessible as while stable is now unconscious).

Thanks to other chip damage, Phil is back down to like 3HP and Roier isn't looking much better. Only Mike isn't injured, but even once he's calmed down he's moving Pac somewhere safe and guarding him and trying to stay present, so not the most helpful.

Magic miniboss (cant perma-kill him here but need to get him to fuck off to complete) gets to the group. And mind controls Missa.

Thankfully, Missa is not forced to shoot Phil or Roier or Mike or heaven forbid Pac who is no longer a valid target mechanically but if he gets caught in an explosion or poison cloud or something will die.

Unfortunately, Missa is forced to start murdering civilians.

Roier gets (reversibly, unlike Pac where a special skill is needed to reverse it) knocked out by miniboss via vast amounts of energy just being flooded into his brain and massive overwhelming over stimulation.

Philza blows up more of the garage to catch the miniboss as too injured to really approach it. And also take out a few other enemies which came over.

Mike realises shooting from near Pac will make things more dangerous for his buddy because giving away position. Comes over, rescues Roier (doesnt need a medkit as different mechanic), starts using grenades on the miniboss.

Missa is still Mind controlled until they manage to drop the miniboss and force it to teleport home. At which point they discover he was fully conscious the whole time, just being puppetted.

Get mission finished and get home. However this was early game before a medbay had been built. There's multiple people requiring surgery, and the only place to do it is Aypierre's lab table (usually used for autopsying monsters), and the only place to recover is the whole 6 bunks in the crew quarters. As bunk beds. Where treating anyone on a top bunk is complicated at best, and the lower bunks are still not great, and theres only 2 beds to share between literally everyone else. Mike doesn't need one but everyone else is bad enough to and looking at like month-ish long recovery periods (even with scifi medicine). Said Mike ends up begging Forever to delay building a specialised lab needed for plot and half finished and get a proper medical area. Forever absolutely has people swap projects - it's always been on the to do list but early game is like trying to grab water resources wise. And, it still takes time.

They do get a medical bay and the group do finish their recovery there because yk horrific injuries, and they do all recover, but it sucks and is stressful and rotten.

#qsmp X xcom

[dearestm0th3r]

When the moon became an eye

The night when the moon became an eye I'd say everything changed. The earth went to sleep, but when he woke up.. his mother was gone, replaced by a giant eye that had a cold, eerie stare.

October 23rd, 2028

My bed was cozy on a cool spring morning, I didn’t wanna get up but I remembered that I had a couple of chores to do before I headed to school. I wanted to get a head start on today so I wouldn’t have to stress my house-bound mother out. She’d been bound since I had graduated from middle school; that’s when dad just left because he didn’t want to “deal with her disabilities”. I’ve been taking care of her and myself ever since. It was 5:44 AM the time that I peeked out the curtains and realized there was no moonlight outside, on a supermoon night. I didn’t think much of it so I continued with my morning routine, same old thing. After I was done with the dishes, at 6:15 AM I walked over to my mother's room to give her medicine. Walking into her room, she abruptly awoke, “I hope I didn’t scare you ‘ma..” I said feeling a bit bad as she’s such an old woman; my mother chuckled a bit, “Oh no dear, you’re just fine I was just dozing off waiting for you but then you came in and it just surprised little old me”. I nodded to her, “If you say so ‘ma..” I lifted her up by adding another pillow behind her and I gave her 2 pills and a glass of water. “I’ll be back to check on you before I leave, alright?” I stated, my mother nodded at me and smiled “Don’t go too hard on yourself.” I smiled at her and walked out of her room, closing the door behind me gently. I went to check the clock, at 6:23 AM. I gasped, realizing I had to be ready and out the door by 6:45. I hurriedly brushed my teeth, popped my pills in my mouth, and grabbed my backpack & car keys. “Bye ‘ma!” On my drive over, I let out a sigh of relief, my teachers would kill me if I was late another day, I thought to myself. I felt horrible for leaving my mom without checking on her like I promised, I’ll make her some cookies when I get home in order to make it up to her. Getting to the school gate at 6:50. Right on time. I checked in with the guard and pulled into my parking spot. I hurriedly put some mascara and blush on that I had grabbed on my way out of the house. I walked out of my car and into the school building, I walked up to the front office and scanned myself in; on the way over to my class I was thinking.. What should I make for dinner tonight? Maybe I can invite Elise and Lily over to help me bake dinner and those cookies for my mom. Elise and Lily have been my friends since elementary school, we all met in third grade and have been friends ever since, I still remember the time in middle school when Elise had beat up this one girl… all because she was flirting with Lily’s boyfriend. Elise is so protective, Lily couldn’t do anything herself because she really isn’t like that; poor Lily would’ve just sat back and done nothing if it weren’t for Elise. In all honesty I think Elise might secretly have a little crush on Lily. I got to my first-period class, Medical. I really don’t dislike the class, but my mom was the one who made me join it, just doing it to make her happy. I greeted Mrs. Leciz, “Morning Miss, how’s your morning?” Mrs. Leciz rolled her eyes at me, “Yes, yes Nayana you’re not gonna get away with that missed report you still haven’t turned in to me, other than that I’m having a usual morning.” I shyly backed away and sat down at my seat in the back, next to Vanessa. I don’t know much about Vanessa, but from what went around last year, she slept with her best friend's dad… pretty disgusting honestly, and might I add illegal? The dad got locked up and his daughter got in a catfight with Vanessa; she left a NASTY mark on Vanessa. She got her jaw broken, from what I heard it was a very brutal fight. It’s good to see her doing better now though; other than that incident, she was just a quiet person; still can’t believe she’d do that though. “Alright, seems like only half of you are here today so I’ll just let you make up the work you need to get done in other classes” Mrs. Leciz voiced, I rolled my eyes realizing I seriously had nothing else to do in any other classes. In all of the other classes, I have just been given literal coloring sheets.. -

1/3

#scary #this is weird #weirdcore #dreamcore #dreaming again #weird aesthetic #scaretober #october #gorewhore #gore lover #gorey #gore #bloodbath #blood #short story #original content #author #storytelling #story #Spotify

[croissantbae]

September 26, 2022

It has been an intense past few days. On Thursday naya didn’t seem to be doing too well but I figured she’d be able to go to school. She coughed all night however and on Friday she was in bad shape. We kept her home and she spiked a pretty bad fever. Like 104. The following night Jason slept w her and she spiked a 105 fever. I was starting to get worried she might have a febrile seizure. Thankfully she didn’t. Or at least I didn’t notice any. Sadly Jason had to miss Rowan’s birthday party so that he could stay home and watch naya. And I went to my brother’s party with Dani (as originally planned). We had a nice time at the party but by the time we came home naya was asleep and seemed really bad. I felt like Jason and I really calmed down as parents though because before he would have taken her to the er by that point for sure. We started to throw ice packs and wet towels on her to try to cool her down. We also plied her with tons and tons of medicine. To the point where she started to cry when we told her to take medicine. Which is a 180 from her usual self because usually she wants to take medicine even if she’s not sick. She just likes the flavor. Thankfully the next day she finally seemed okay. So we were able to take her to Heras babt shower. Everyone seemed to have a good time and Dani had started coughing but it was manageable. She was still energetic. Then today (Monday) hera came over to hang out (and she brought in n out. God bless her) and helped me watched the kids. Everyone seemed fine but Dani started coughing a lot more. And she spiked a fever too. So we gave her medicine. At one point I left the girls with Maria so I could try to write a little bit but naya comes in and tells me that dani is sleeping. I come and she seems flush and like really bad. Her head was resting on Maria’s leg and then Maria tells me Dani’s arm was shaking weirdly. I picked Dani up and felt her head and it was hot. I wanted to go get a wet towel so I set Dani down on the couch and she started to throw up. I grabbed her and took her to the sink but she thankfully just had that one burst and thst was it. Then she almost instantly fell asleep. I searched online and it said thst febrile seizures are usually fine unless they’re accompanied by vomiting or sudden sleepiness. I was like oh crap so I called Kaiser to try to talk to someone but everyone was busy so I had to wait for a call back In an hour. During that time Dani went in and out of sleep. And she was not feeling well but at least she was complaining and actually having enough energy to cry out. It was worse when she was listless w no energy. I talked to a nurse and she said she seemed ok to monitor at home. Dani’s fever also seemed to break. Hopefully it’s one of those 24 hour things and she’ll be ok tomorrow but if it’s like naya this may last a few more days. My poor babies. Also now I’m starting to feel a little sick lol.

[1-800-supersad]

jeez haven’t done this in a while 💀💀

Weekly/Monthly check in time :)

Q: what time did you wake up this morning?

A: 5:03 am

-

Q: how's your day going so far?

A: not too bad, it’s really fucking hot tho

-

Q: Any new life updates?

A: yes, quite a few. i have an iphone now, me and jaykob have been dating for almost half a year, i got a fucking job and start working on june 13th, and i have depression medication that ive been taking for almost two months now :)

-

Q: are you currently in a relationship? if so, tell me how you guys are going. if not, what's it like being single?

A: yes i am :) jaykob and me had our 3rd date last thursday on his birthday, we had a picnic date in my living room :))

-

Q: how old are you?

A: 16

-

Q: what color is your hair?

A: skunk hair, all black with on little streak of white in the front

-

Q: What's your sexuality and gender identity?

A: im pansexual and gender fluid

-

Q: whens the last time you bathed in any way?

A: i took a shower last night

-

Q: what's an obsession of yours at the moment?

A: myself kinda, not in a narcissistic way but more like in a working on myself more way which can always be good in most ways :)

-

Q: whens the last time you did anything sexually?

A: yesterday, me and jaykob fucked in the kitchen 😳

-

Q: How much money do you have?

A: i had $5.55 earlier but then i bought some nails of shein 💀

-

Q: how’s school going?

A: pretty good actually, ive been making sure to do all my work in my classes and keep my grades from become F’s so im proud

-

Q: what's your highest grade in school?

A: an A, and surprisingly it’s in math 😀

-

Q: have you eaten anything today? if so, what?

A: i ate breakfast and a chicken sandwich at lunch

-

Q: have you gotten therapy yet?

A: hey guess what? you know that doctor i went to go see back in february that was gonna prescribed me pills? well turns out it was actually a therapist and now i talk to her every three weeks about how the medicines making me feel :))

-

Q: when was the last time you felt loved?

A: earlier

-

Q: how's your relationship with ang?

A: we’re on like a friendship break rn. she’s friends with this girl named dakota and that’s fine and all but it seems like she’s been hanging out with dakota more than me and i started to realize the same thing that happened with kaitlyn is happening again. i wasn’t talking to her yesterday at lunch and she literally fucking came to my 7th hour searching for me so that she could fucking talk to me when she knew i didn’t wanna then she fucking kept asking me in front of two of my other friends with we could go talk and i just ignored her until she left, that shit was embarrassing. after that i texted her a lil about why i wasn’t talking to her and we talked a bit and came to the conclusion that we should just be on a friendship break for as long as i need but she’s hoping it’s before her birthday (july 1st). i also bought her a monster this morning cuz while we were talking yesterday she told me how she had a panic attack before and after she came and left the gym and all i said was “cool” and i immediately felt bad after so it was kinda like an apology and i told her that and she told me that neither one of those panic attacks were my fault but i still felt bad

-

Q: what’s your dream job?

A: medical scientist

-

Q: are you going to be able to get your dream job?

A: maybe

Wednesday, 5/11/22, 3:09 pm

[elliotsblunt]

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

✧ summary — the reader is new to all things sexual, so her best friend elliot decides to help her out with that.

✧ pairings — best friend!elliot x fem!reader

✧ warnings — reader taking drugs,addiction,very bad choices,fluff at the end, im crying

✧ authors note — wrote this last night, since i was in an angsty mood. kinda just want the reader and elliot be happy ugh

✧ chapters — 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

┏━━━ ━━━┓

Fuck.

You were freaking out, tugging at the strands of your hair as your back slowly slid down the wall. Lips twitching, panic began to spark within your slumped figure, eyes round with horror. Much to your luck, Rue got caught with the drugs, and was sent straight to rehab this morning. Meaning, that you had no one else to go to, since she was technically your supplier. She mentioned the dude that she brought from once, but forget his name, like the fucking idiot you were.

The need to feel high racked against your heart. Ins n instant, you were in the bathroom, looking through the medicine cabinet trying to find anything to cool your nerves. It felt like your skin was on fire, wanting to tear out every hair that pricked from your flesh. When you found your fathers’ old case of opiods that he needed for his swollen leg, you cracked open the bottle and took about three. In an instant, your heart rate began to increase, a few corners of your mind growing fuzzy.

Calming down, you shoved the bottle into your pocket, before heading out your house. Luckily, your parents always worked—so they didn’t notice your newfound addiction. Your eyes were droopy, a pair of sunglasses shielding you from the burning sun, as your fists banged on his front door. The traveling part of getting to Elliots’ house had blurred from your mind, focusing on only seeing him, hoping that he would let you in.

You couldn’t stop thinking about what you told him. As much as you felt guilt, the need for those little white pills overpowered the feeling of remorse. You hadn’t ever felt this way before about anything, not even him. It was like you were some monster, and you knew that you needed help, but you didn’t know how or where to start. All you needed right now was to get rid of the shaking in your limbs, and the need to throw up constantly without a break.

Shoulders perking, the door swung open, revealing the blonde. His brows furrowed at the sight of you. You had to admit, you looked like shit. A pair of sweatpants hung loosely from your hips, which you hadn’t changed out of in a few days, and a grey sweater clinging to your shoulders. You hadn’t brushed your hair, which probably added onto your scary appearance, and felt tears brim in your eyes. His jaw locked as you sniffled, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry about what I said,” your bottom lip shook, rubbing a hand through your curls, “I—I don’t know why I was so angry, Ellie. Please, I need, I’m so sorry.”

He stared at you, expression softening when your trembling hands slightly pulled at your hair.

“I’m sorry,” you stepped closer, letting out a sob. It felt like you couldn’t breathe, “I’m so sorry.”

He swallowed thickly, face painfully tight, as his eyes flickered up and down your features.

“Did you come here for more drugs?”

Your chest rose, brows slightly raising. His tone was a bit cold, causing you to take a step back, laughing nervously while almost choking on your spit, “What? No—no,” you shook your head, biting your lip, “I just, I came to apologize, Elliot. I can’t handle you hating me.”

He tilted his head, nodding slightly.

“Come in.”

A weight was lifted off your chest as he stepped side. Hugging your arms, you still sniffled, smiling faintly at him—but he didn’t return it. The look in his eyes was guilt, almost like he felt sick from just looking at you, and instead kept his gaze on the floor. While the two of you walked over to his room, you sat on his chair next to the bed, feeling the need to constantly move around. Touching your hair, running your fingertips over your arms, tapping your feet anxiously on the ground.

Sniffling, he leaned against his bedroom door, crossing his arms while he kept averaging his eyes from you. The color slightly drained from his face as he shifted from one foot to another, clearly uncomfortable, “How long have you been doing them for?”

Your chin trembled, wiping your nose as your voice wavered. Shame was laced in your voice.

“A month.”

Shutting his eyes tightly, he sighed, bringing his fingers up to the bridge of his nose. At that, you sunk lower into his mattress, hugging your knees as you cried softly, “I’m sorry. I know it was stupid, but I—I didn’t think it would be this bad. I saw you do it, and you were fine—“

“You were relying on them because you wanted to avoid pain,” he muttered, thinning his eyes, “I did it to pass the time. I never had an emotional connection with them, and I only did it once a week if even. This isn’t shit you play around with, Y/N. God knows what’s gonna happen if you keep doing them.”

Horror flashed across your features, digging into your hands as you cried into them. Your chest felt like it was closing, your muscles aching with every movement you made. Throat going dry, you began to cough, Elliot’s voice ringing in the room, “I’ll get you some water and something to eat.”

When his footsteps began to recede from the room, you furiously wiped at your eyes, the pain in your body unbearable. You went into a frenzy, dropping to your knees as you searched for little while pills. The responsible side of your brain kept telling you it was wrong, morally and in your nature. You actually cared about Elliot, and didn’t even know why your body craved the release so much—but it controlled you. You were the drugs’ puppet. Nothing was under the bed except trash and a few discarded clothes, so you moved onto the closet.

Nothing. The desk maybe?

Nope.

Losing hope, and time, your breathing began to quicken. Peeking out the doorway, you heard cluttering in the kitchen—and used it as your escape to tiptoe to the bathroom. Shutting the door behind you, your hands flew to the medicine cabinet, eyes crazy as you searched for them. But I’m the midst of your mission, you remembered the door didn’t have a lock on it, swinging open.

You froze, instant guilt filling your eyes, as Elliot stood with a blank look on his face. The cup of water in his hand, and a sandwich in the other, his eyes narrowed as you blabbered, “I’m sorry. I was just—about to pee,” you lied, blinking quickly, laughing nervously, “The stupid door doesn’t—“

Without saying anything, he turned around, walking back to his room. You followed after him, mumbling fuck beneath your breath, as he placed the things onto his desk. His back faced you as you stood in his doorway, shame and regret filling you up constantly in overbearing waves.

“I’m sorry,” your eyes burned again with tears, making him scoff. You shook your head, “I really am, I swear. I—“

“You should leave,” his tone was bitter, but also tired. His head hung as your face twisted, the world around you falling apart. You wanted to get better, but you didn’t know what you had to do. You didn’t wanna feel the pain without the drugs, but also didn’t want to keep hurting those around you. Anyone else could have judged you, and you wouldn’t bat and eyelash over it—but when you heard his voice, you slapped a hand over your mouth, letting out a soft sob.

Everything was amplified. The heartbreak within you rolled over your limbs, making you almost fall to your knees, sensations doubling when he wouldn’t turn to look at you, “Ellie,” you whimpered, hand moving from your mouth to your hair, “Look at me. I need you to look at me.”

He didn’t listen, his back muscles tightening as tears rolled down your cheeks.

“Look at me,” you raised your voice, sobbing afterwards, “If you even care about me—then talk to me! Please!”

When he didn’t, you had your answer. You had lost him.

“I really am sorry,” you tried one more time, but he didn’t even flinch. Letting out one more sniffle, you sped out of the house, rain beginning to pound down onto your shaking figure. Great. The drops mixed in with your salty tears, tripping and stumbling as you sobbed, wiping at your eyes. You wanted to tell him that you cared about him, and just needed to numb the feeling of him not feeling the same. You wanted to feel loved, and he couldn’t do that for you. It wasn’t his fault. You love who you love—

And you knew for a fact you loved Elliot.

His brown eyes flashed in your mind, the two of you laughing as you remembered the old days. Before your friendship had been ruined by those stupid lessons. You missed dancing together in his room, being the judge of his written demos, smoking pot together. Smiling through the storm that almost knocked your body over, rain drops soaking your hair, eyelids narrowed due to the intensity—you laughed at the memory that flashed before your eyes.

You felt your book knock over, a carrot hitting your nose as you sent a glare to the assaulter. Elliot flashed you a grin, smiling from ear to ear, before throwing another at you. Furrowing your brows, you closed the book before tossing it at him—getting him right on the chest. His lips slightly pouted, “You’re not giving me attention. What does that book have that I don’t?”

You folded your arms from the floor, looking up at his figure laying on his bed. He was propped up on his elbows, chewing on a few of the orange vegetables he had hit you with, scribbling down in his music journal. You sent him a smirk, “Well, it doesn’t talk, so that’s already a plus,” you teased, pushing yourself to your feet. His brows rose as you offered your hand, “—but I guess one of the cons is that I can’t dance with it.”

Letting out a chuckle, he hopped off his bed, before quickly spinning you around. Faintly in the background, Bags by Clairo was playing on his computer screen, one of your favorites. Giggling, you held his hand before leaning backwards—then your chests colliding against one another. His eyes lit up as he looked down at you.

“Know how to slow dance?”

You shook your head, causing his smile to grow, before his large hands took in your small ones. A blush rose to your cheeks at the feeling of his warm skin against yours, looking down at your feet, as he pulled you towards him, “It’s like a square. When I step left, you do the same,” he instructed, “Then, when I make a right, you do the same. All until we make a square,” you followed his lead, and after the first round, you smiled up at him excitedly.

“I think I did it.”

He chuckled, spinning you around, before going again. Once you got the hang of it, after stepping on his foot twice, you danced all around his room—laughing like little kids. There was a moment, where the setting sun had shined right onto his eyes, making them a honey golden brown. You swore you could see specks of gold in his hues, taking your breath away by his beauty. His tan skin had glowed, like rich honey flowing down a stream, and you knew it was then you had fallen for him.

Feeling more tears roll down your cheeks, regret had officially won you over. Soaking body falling on the floor, all you thought about was his eyes, and how he looked at you before. Not now, where all you saw was disappointment and disgust.

Suddenly, a bright light flashed in front of your eyes, making yours go round in confusion. It was a car. A gasp tore from your throat, body turning into stone, as it sped over towards you. Flinching, your hands flew to your face, fear coursing through you as you shook in pure horror. With a grunt, you felt someone push you out the way, the two of you rolling onto the sidewalk. Car honking as it passed you, your arm scraped against the pavement, a slight burning sensation covering the surface of your arm.

Blinking quickly, you looked up, spotting Elliot breathing heavily while looking down at you, “Are you okay?”

His hair had been wet from the rain, falling over his eyes as his black hoodie became soaked from the liquid. Shying away from him, you began to twitch, “I’m sorry,” you stuttered, “I didn’t see it, and—“

His hand went to reach for your cheek, but you scooted backwards, sobbing, “I hate myself for what I did. I don’t—I can’t—it hurts too—“

His hand flew to the back of your head, pushing it into his chest, as he held you in his arms. You broke down completely. He was everything. His scent, his voice, everything. He was more important than any drug you could ever take. You didn’t know if he was still mad at you, but your hands cling to the fabric of his hoodie, small body trembling as you cried. And he held you, without saying anything, but ran a finger through your wet hair.

And that was all you needed—at least for now.

After all, you took the drugs because they substituted the real thing, which was his affection. And now you finally had it.

You didn’t know how, but you finally did.

A yawn tore from your lips. Peeling your eyelids open, a ray of sunlight shined down onto you, a warm blanket covering the entirety of your figure. Scrunching your nose, an unbelievable headache began to pound within your skull—causing you to slightly groan. Recognizing the room to be Elliots’, your heart began to race, despite the soreness in your body. It felt like everything was hyper sensitive, the feeling of his sheets rubbing your bare arms leading you to hiss.

Pulling the covers off of you, you spotted a pair of his plaid pajamas covering your leg, one of his t-shirts falling over your torso. It smelled like him; weed and cologne..with a hint of mint gum. Confusion hitting you, the memories of after him finding you in the rain were erased from your mind. Legs feeling like jelly, you took a seat back down onto his bed, feeling a wave of nausea wash over your. Holding your stomach, even though you felt like shit, you still smiled to yourself.

You had him back.

His bedroom door swinging open, when his eyes met yours, concern was swirling in his dark hues at first. But when you send him a small smile, like the shy ones you used to give him, his face visibly relaxed. Taking a step inside, you noticed a sandwich in one of his hands, a cup of orange juice in the other. His voice was raspy as he handed them to you, “Bon appetite.”

“Thanks,” you whispered, placing the plate on his bedside table before taking a sip of the juice. It was tangy, but as soon as it rolled down your throat, you face twisted in disgust, “Yeah, everything tastes like shit while you’re in withdrawal,” he muttered, laughing faintly at the sour look on your face. He kept his distance, leaning against the doorway, “You should text your parents something. You spent the night here.”

You nodded, “I will.”

Swirling the orange liquid, with a bit of pulp, in the glass, you blinked at him, “I don’t want to touch those things ever again. I’m done with them,” you spoke quietly, his expression not shifting at all, “I really do apologize saying those words to you—and then the thing in the bathroom. I’m a fucking mess,” you sighed, looking down at your feet, “I’m grateful that you let me spend the night. Thank you.”

Looking over at him, you watched as he cleared his throat. He shoved his hands into his pockets, “Of course. That’s what friends do,” he nodded, “It was scary seeing you like that. I’m glad you wanna stay away from them.”

You gulped, “Yeah.”

It was weird. You still had the desire to do them, but also knew that you had to get away from them before you really got addicted. Rue had been on them for years, so imagine how it was for her. Your don’t wanna reach her level—ever.

“I wish,” Elliot suddenly spoke, bringing you back to now. Your brows rose as he stared at you intently, “I wish—I could tell you things. But..I’m not ready. So for now, the best I could do, is tell you that I care about you. I’ll be here for you. I’ll take care of you,” his brows furrowed as you stared at him with round eyes, hand falling to his stomach, “You make me feel things in my stomach. Weird things. I’ve never felt it before.”

Your heart stopped.

Butterflies.

He was talking about butterflies.

He inhaled sharply, “Please be patient with me. I don’t know how to do this,” his voice grew more quiet, eyes falling to the floor, “Fuck. I hate the way you make me feel, Y/N.”

Your mouth almost fell open, shock hitting you at his confession. You didn’t think he liked you the same way you liked him. You thought he only cared about the sex—but, luckily, you might’ve been wrong. He held a hand up, “Don’t say anything. I just—needed to say that,” he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. You silently stared at him as he sent you a soft smile, one you hadn’t seen in forever, “I have to pick up some things for my sister, so uh, stay here if you want.”

He turned around, but then paused at the doorway. He didn’t turn around,

“I’d like you to stay.”

You smiled as he then left.

And you did. You stayed.

When he returned, he looked surprised at you curled up in a ball, reading the pages of one of the books you had left there. You tried to fight off how hot your body was at one point, then turned to extremely cold, hiding breath the covers. This was hell. But when your eyes flew to his, the pain diminished by a bit, your heart skipping a beat when he sent you a smile, “Hey.”

You reflected his smile, grinning back.

“Hi.”

Titling his head, the foot of his bed dipped from his weight. You sat up, leaning your back against the headboard. Rubbing his stubble on his chin, he smirked, “You manage to get that OJ down?”

Shaking your head, you scoffed.

“Nope. Could barely drink water.”

He hummed, “Well, you need to drink a shit load of water to get that stuff outta your system,” he explained with a knowing look, “But you seem to be doing okay.”

You shrugged, “I guess since I didn’t them for that long, my body isn’t that used to them.”

“I found myself doing things that distracted me to get over the shitty feeling, like writing. You like to read and write stories, maybe do something like that.”

You brow rose, “What? You wanna have a study session?”

He snorted, “Smart ass. I meant we could do something fun, to distract you I mean.”

You sent him a frown. Oh. He wanted to have sex, maybe. He noticed the way your face slightly fell, looking down at your toes, causing hun to clear his throat quickly after, “I don’t mean it like that, by the way. I was thinking of the beach,” he offered, making you look up at him. His jaw tightened, “It’s a nice place to think at. I write there when I need inspo.”

You bit your lip, then nodded.

“Okay.”

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