#like. will i be obsessive n nearly have a breakdown. or will i be fine.

[yourwildsimp]

blood stains and butterflies

includes: Soap, Ghost warnings: PTSD, panic attack, vomiting, gore length: 4,000 some words summary: Ghost isn't all too happy that Christmas showed up months early. A/N: uh... Boo. I'm alive! Anyways, new obsession time. Also, ik tumblr goes crazy with bots but where did they all swarm me from?? Enjoy though, and please give me feedback.

Ghost stumbles, nearly slipping in the pummeling rain. His gloved hand hardly catches traction on the slick side of their stupid fucking safe house that's spat up 30 miles past bum fuck nowhere.

The sky is as dark as the field that surrounds him, clouds hiding the moon away like it's something shameful.

I'm shameful, Ghost's brain spits as he gasps as quietly as he can. He can feel his throat closing up tight- too tight- tighter than anything he can handle.

Oh sure, because waterboarding and gasoline is nothing compared to stupid, god awful-

"Creepin' Jesus, L.t.-"

Ghost hardly has the wherewithal to yank his mask just over the bridge of his crooked, fucked up nose before he's spilling what little bit of lunch he ate before they were sent on this lousy mission.

"Ghost, what's goin' oan? Ye alright?"

Shut up. Shut the hell up. Shut up, shut up, shut up.

He's dry heaving so much that something is stinging somewhere deep behind his eyes.

A hand, steady yet uncertain, touches his shoulder and Ghost feels flames licking at his skin, even through the ever persistent rain storm.

"Don't fucking touch me," he seethes, baring his teeth like a rabid animal, feet clumsily scrambling further away, leaving his arms to weakly try to compensate. The last thing he needs is to bust his ass on his own throw up.

Soap jerks his hand away like he is the one being burned. The rain is so loud, but not even shelling could drown out the sound of Soap's breath catching in his throat.

"I'm fine," Ghost rasps, sounding impossibly fragile even to his own ringing ears. "Go back inside before you get yourself sick, Soap."

"Sick like ye?"

Ghost is gagging on bile before he can spit fire back. Instead, he spits up the last of his pathetic lunch.

"I said I'm fine. They're just-" Christ, he's shaking so hard he might slip again- "fucking Christmas lights. Nothing's wrong with me."

If Ghost would stop being a little bitch for a second, he'd see the way Soap's eyebrows furrow in genuine confusion with a single blink.

"This is aboot th' holiday decor?" Soap asks desperately. Ghost can hear a puddle splash as Soap inches closer.

Ghost would rather be buried alive again than admit that he is having a breakdown over some lights speckled with blood. Hell, he'd rather gulp down gasoline than speak anything ever again.

Ghost screws his eyes shut in hopes of- of what? Hiding? He's such a shameless coward.

"L.t. please. What's goin' oan? I don't understand- what's wrong with th' lights?"

The door was kicked open, windows smashed in, and they were dead long before he jerked his car in park.

He wanted- needed- them to be alive so badly, so desperately, he skimmed over the fact that more of Joseph's brains were on the wall than in his skull for fuck's sake-

He's retching again, but tears are making his vision too blurry to see what he's hurling onto the muddied clump of grass beneath his feet. Rain, actually. The rain is making his vision blurry.

"Come back inside 'fore ye hurt yerself more. Please, Ghost." There is a noticeable hesitation and Ghost hopes Soap will just go back inside and leave him in shambles.

Soap doesn't go anywhere, but Ghost crumbles anyway from what he says.

"Ye're scarin' me…"

"You're scaring me! Tommy, stop it! Please- please stop!"

Tommy sneered behind the cracked skull mask, and Simon felt his lower bunk dip with his brother's weight. The pillow under his head was snatched from him.

"Don't ever beg anyone for anything, Simon. Hasn't dad taught you that?" The sneer bled into a sickening grin. "Here, let's practice."

His pillow was shoved over his face before he could even choke out the word 'no'.

Ghost loses his footing and falls to his knees, hands weakly grasping for any leverage on the side of the safe house. There isn't any. His left knee digs into the mud as he stumbles.

Soap, the persistent, heaven-sent bastard, is by his side before Ghost slips any further.

"I don't-" Soap hovers by Ghost like a lost dog, buzzing with confusion and concern. "A'll take it doon, Lt. A'll get rid of it all."

Ghost vaguely hears Soap's footsteps trailing off, the pummeling of the rain and the rushing in his ears nearly drowning it out. But then Soap stops and the footsteps rush back his way. Ghost shudders in the rain, in his thoughts, fingers weakly dragging against the dirt as he presses his back against the side of the shelter. Soap is so quiet that Ghost can almost pretend he isn't there.

But, fuck, he is. Standing right there, thinking God knows what, and Ghost's mask is still above his scarred, vomit-laced mouth-

Ghost drags his soaked sleeve over his mouth and chin so rough he feels a strap jerk against a scar. He grits his teeth and bares it and yanks his mask back over the rest of his face.

"Give me yer knives."

Ghost startles- fucking jumps out of his skin. He thought Soap was gone. Scratch that- he hoped Soap was gone.

Ghost slaps together the meanest glare he can muster. He's pathetic like this; a mess in the mud, his own vomit washing away in the rain next to him, being waterboarded by his mask.

Soap doesn't even flinch. Hell, he reaches his hand out, expectant.

"Ye might…" Soap takes a breath, his fingers curling into his palm just a little. "I don't want to come back oot 'ere to find that ye did something stupid to yerself."

"You think-" Ghost has to take a short breath, his voice shredded and raw and so god damn fragile. "You think that I'm-"

"I don't know what t' think," Soap rushes, sounding as desperate as Ghost hates to feel. "Just promise me ye won't."

Ghost screws his eyes shut, wondering if a promise like this only counts for the moment, or if he has to keep it for the rest of his miserable life.

"Am beggin' ye, Ghost."

"Did you beg them, Tommy? Did you?" Simon heard himself say as he stared at his brother's limp body dangling in a bloody mess of Christmas lights from the rafters. Fitting it was, that he suffocated. "Or did not have the chance to?"

"Simon-"

"Don't you- Don't fucking call me that," Ghost rasps.

Soap opens his mouth, desperate as a drowned man gasping for air, but Ghost beats him to it.

"I won't, fuck. I'm not bloody insane." Although he sure as hell felt that way.

Soap's jaw tightens, teeth clenching against each other as he draws his hand back. He is still hesitant to leave Ghost alone; alone with his thoughts and feelings. And knives.

"I won't," Ghost breathes quietly, Adam's apple bobbing as he gathers what little pieces of him were left. "I wouldn't, Soap."

Soap nods, gaze lingering as he turns his body away towards the shelter. "A'll kill ye, if ye do."

Ghost chuckles, heartless and hurt and so pitifully wrapped in his head. What a perfect way to go, that would be. That's the only way he can see himself dying, being taken out by Soap. Ghost wonders how he would do it.

Soap hasn't moved.

"I promise, Johnny."

That seems to do the trick because seconds later, Soap is taking off through the rain and heading inside the house.

Ghost is, blessedly, devastatingly, alone. But he's left with his thoughts. And they begin to wander before he beats them down.

The whole fucking shelter is done up with Christmas decorations, and it makes him wonder how many layers of dust are on every light and ornament. It makes him wonder what happened to the people who strung them up.

He doesn't wonder, however, how the blood splatters got there.

It's not even near the holiday season, either, which really pisses him off because it's just his luck. He thought he'd be safe from his holiday horrors, months away from Christmas. Of course the world slams a curveball right in his face and spits on him while he's down.

He doesn't notice that his hands are gripping at the top of his mask. They would be tugging on his hair, but he's a spineless, faceless coward. No wonder everyone thought Tom was the better brother. They were fucking right to, weren't they?

Christ, they're all he can see. Tom, hanging from the rafters by the Christmas tree lights, his throat a mangled mess. Beth, a crumpled mop of blinding white ribs and heavy dark blood, her Santa hat mostly red and somewhere underneath what was left of her. His mom, stabbed in the neck, blood soaking into her newest ugly sweater she was so proud of. Joseph's head and reindeer antlers headband was blown off with a bullet, his blood and brains and matter covering the various paint splotches on the wall where Tom and Beth couldn't decide on a new color.

Joseph's toy airplane kicked to the side, forgotten white wings stained with pieces of the boy.

He wanted to be a pilot when he grew up, Joseph did. He used to make Simon hold him above his head so he could stick his little arms out real far like they were wings on a plane. Simon would carry him all around the house; pretended to be the panicked control tower, telling pilot Joseph that he couldn't use the runway- the hallway- because there were fallen trees- a broom and a mop- blocking his path. Pilot Joseph was always a quick thinker, and he would land his plane further down the way, on an empty back road- the couch. And Simon would toss his beaming nephew on the ratty old brown couch and listen to his giggles as he shouted, "Again, Uncle Simon! Again!"

God, the pure joy on the kids face whenever Simon bought him that little toy plane for Christmas one year was burning at the back of his brain. Fucks sake, all Simon could afford at the time was a little figurine. It wasn't remote controlled, no doors could open- hell, the propeller couldn't even spin. But Joseph loved it more than anything in the world.

The sound of glass shattering behind the shelter has Ghost choking on his breath.

Simon would've killed to have been deaf when he took Tom down from the rafters. Glass shattered, body thumped, glass shattered, glass shattered, glass-

Bile scorches the back of his throat as his memory supplies the imagine of blood splattered Christmas ornaments. He tumbles forwards onto his hands and knees, frantically tugging his mask above his lips again. One hand claws at the dirt, the other, supported by his elbow in the mud, holding the bottom part of his mask out of the way as he retches and dry heaves until he swears he could be spitting up blood.

Ghost curls in on himself and falls to his side, a deflated, crumpled heap of shame.

It's all his fault. It is. If he had gotten there sooner, if he had seen it all coming, if he had never gotten compromised, if he had never joined the fucking military- none of it would have happend. It's his fault, all his fault.

"My fault," he heaves, blurry eyes boring into where the dark, starless sky seamlessly bleeds into the black, rocky mud. He's drowning in the stifling nothingness.

Tom could be coming home from work, kissing Beth hello, playing 'pilot' with Joseph. But he's not. He's a rotted corpse six-feet under the dirt. That's how Simon should be. It's his fault that it didn't turn out that way. His fault, all his fault.

"I'm sorry," he breaks, shaking his head, bringing his muddy glove to his face, pressing the heel of his palm into his forehead. The other half hides, burying into the ground, like he could dig his own grave like this.

Joseph would've been in high school by now, driving and going to meet friends. But he's not. He's stuck in a wooden box next to his parents. That's how Simon should be. It's his fault-

"Please-"

"Ghost?"

Ghost's eye snap open, body tense and frozen. He vaguely notices that he's hyperventilating. Christ alive, he's breathing so fast but he can't get any air. He can't breathe, no matter how hard he tries. He might as well be buried alive again-

"…-ost, look at me. I need ye to look at me Lt."

Ghost's blood shot eyes snap in Soap's direction- when was he sat up against the shack's wall?- and his breath hitches somewhere deep in his throat before he feels his heart pitter faster. It's trying to break out of his ribcage, slamming into his cracking bones, threatening to bleed openly into Soap's hands. Soap has such nice hands. He'd hate to soil them.

"Where are we reit now?' Soap asks, carefully crouching in front of him, both hands resting open palm facing up on his knees.

Ghost feels his eyebrows furrow at that one. Has Soap forgotten? Your location seems like an awfully important thing to know.

"Ghost, I need ye to tell me where we are," Soap insists, the tendons in his neck pulled so taunt. Ghost worries. He worries that Soap will hurt his neck, straining how he is.

"Manchester?" he murmurs so low that he can feel how his vocal cords vibrate with it. Soap's neck pulls over his Adam's apple as it bobs rough. Ghost wonders what it would take to snap the stretched tendons there. Ghost thinks he'll kill anything that dares to graze them.

"Nae. Nae, Ghost. Look around. Look around ye an' then tell me where we are."

Ghost's eyes carefully draw away from Soap's vulnerable, tense throat, and move to meet his gaze. Soap is scared, he realizes slowly, the thought dawning on him as slow as the sun rises. Ghost furrows his eyebrows, a frown tugs his lips down at the side. Hesitantly, his eyes drift to the trees surrounding him. He can hardly pick up anything distinctive through the rain, but he feels his eyes widen.

"We're at a safe house. But- but then I-"

"That's reit, Ghost. We're on a mission waitin' for exfil. Do ye remember what our mission was?" Soap speaks like a kindergarten teacher. One who wears long, gray skirts and a yellow button-up blouse, has the thinnest heels on her black shoes, and always has her hair done up in a relaxed bun. Ghost vaguely remembers hating his kindergarten classes; he could never focus. Ghost thinks he would hang on every word if Soap was his teacher. "Stay with me, Ghost," Mr. Soap snaps his fingers once or twice, the sound dancing away through the rain.

"Gather intel on the terrorists' bio-weapons… Destroy the sample. Get out with no one the wiser." Ghost holds his breath for praise, for Soap to tell him he's right. Tell him thats he's not a fuck up, not weak or stupid or not masculine enough. To tell him that maybe, he deserved everything that happened to him

"Yeah, that's right. There ye go, Ghost." Soap's lips twist into a pitiful, beautiful thin-lipped smile. "Thought I lost ye for good there, L.T."

"Never," Ghost rasps before he can shut his big fat mouth.

Soaps lips quirk up more at that, and Ghost has half the mind to get on his knees and ask for repentance. Acceptance, even.

"Are ye alright to come inside?" Soap asks carefully, words treading carefully like Ghost was a minefield.

Sometimes he feels that way, if he were ever honest with himself. He feels like a wired ticking time bomb, bound to explode at the smallest of missteps.

Well, Soap just happens to be a demolition expert, doesn't he?

"Ghost? Did ye hear me?"

Ghost feels himself blink, and when he opens his eyes, he can only look at Soap's lips.

It's unfair, really, how it all slams into him at once, after everything.

He thinks about it. He thinks about it so vividly that he can almost feeling his rough lips against Soap's, feel his clean shaven jaw rub against Soap's stubble.

He takes a shuddering breath when the thought of betrayal and blood and Christmas lights flood his mind.

He doesn't deserve that. He doesn't deserve Soap's lips or stubble or- hell- his being. He isn't good enough.

Besides, it'll only get Soap killed faster. More brutal. They'd make Ghost watch, too. He couldn't shoulder that.

Ghost startles slightly when Soap's gloved hand waves in front of his eyes once or twice.

"Don't get in yer heid. Stay with me, L.T."

Ghost feels his lips tremble. Soap always knows his tells.

" 'm sorry, Johnny," Simon murmurs, blinking against the shine in Soap's eyes.

Soap softens at that, concerned frown morphing into a lopsided grin that doesn't quite reach his eyes.

"No need to apologize, Ghost. Ain't yer fault," Soap hums.

Ghost grunts at that, and if it was in acceptance or disagreement, Soap could only hope to flip a coin.

Soap takes off one of his gloves, his pale skin free from the inky, filthy glove. He holds this hand out like an offering, palm up and fingers outstretched, inches away from Ghost's chest.

"Ready to dry off, L.T? I mean, we could keep showerin' out here if ye want to, but…" Soap trails off, eyes following the dark, angry clouds moving in from the west.

Soap has the bluest eyes. Like Scorpion grasses. Those invasive beautiful bastards spread like wildfire in his mother's dingy little garden one year and she could never get rid of them. Hell, she made the whole damn garden full of Scorpion grass.

Ghost leans his head closer- ever so minutely- to get a closer look at Soap's eyes.

Yeah. Soap's exactly like Scorpion grass.

He's certainly invasive. Ghost didn't want him at first, but he kept coming back. Over and over and over again. And, well, Ghost certainly can't stand to get rid of him now. Soap calms his jumpy fucking nerves too, just like the flowers. He smoothes out Ghost's worries like it's as easy as spreading melted butter on toast.

Forget-me-nots.

That's right- they're also called forget-me-nots.

Ghost couldn't forget Soap for anything. He'd know him anywhere, anywhere at all. On earth, in hell, somewhere in the gray in between. Ghost could be blind and deaf, yet still know Soap if the man was near him.

Scorpion grass might just be his favorite flower if he allows himself that much.

"…Ghost? Ye alright?"

Ghost blinks, ripping his gaze away from the vast ocean he almost drowned in. With another, deliberate, blink, he realizes Soap is blushing. Pink dusts over his cheeks, his eyes struggling to hold their place on Ghost.

"Somethin' on my face?" Soap chuckles, the sound high and tense.

Ghost swallows, breath catching in his throat so suddenly his mouth dries up. He tugs his mask all the way down again, and fixes it firmly in place.

None of it matters anyway. Not a single bit of it. Not the way Soap looks at him like he's the most important thing in the room, not the way his face heats up when Soap punches his shoulder before they load out on a mission, and definitely not the way his heart pitter-patters oh-so quickly when Soap smiles at him when he says a stupid, corny joke.

None of that matters because the Scorpion grass in his dead mother's garden flopped over and went to hell when Ghost tried to care for them after she was gone, and so will Soap.

"Get out of yer head, Ghost."

Ghost flinches his head back, the sternness in Soap's tone sending him reeling.

"I'm was not-"

"Ye were. Ye had that 1,000-yard-stare glossed over yer eyes," Soap squints at him.

"I always have that stare, Soap. It's part of the fucking job," Ghost bites back.

"Sure, but when ye're out of it, it looks different."

"It does not-"

"Yes, it bloody does!" Soap sneers, the genuine anger in his face catching Ghost off guard. Ghost watches Soap as he sucks in a deep breath, clenching and unclenching his jaw, before swallowing behind the perfect columns in his neck. "It does. And I am sick and tired of losin' ye to yerself."

Ghost looks at him, really looks at him for any sign of- hell, he doesn't fucking know anymore. Resentment, maybe? Soap has every right to hate him.

Soap sighs, running his ungloved hand through his hair. His shoulders seem so weighted. Ghost wants to hold it all for him; carry everything even if the weight of it all breaks his bones twice over.

"Let's get inside, L.T." Soap reaches out his hand again, stronger this time and no longer shaking. "Before the rain makes ye more sick. We're both soaked to the bone and the fuckin' shack doesn't have any heating. Nothing 'sides a little fireplace. Hope ye don't mind strippin' down to yer tighty-whities near me."

It kills Ghost. It kills him that Soap doesn't speak a word of Ghost's several outbursts and breakdowns that have happened in the span of… of- Christ above, what time is it? How long has he been smothered in his head over Christmas lights?

Ghost takes a weary breath before he fully gets 'lost in his head' again.

The look of relief that breaks across Soap's face when Ghost strongly grasps his hand is enough to make the man's knees weak.

"Can't wait to see your Hello Kitty briefs again, Johnny," Ghost deadpans as Soap pulls them both to their feet. He knows Soap sees the way he sways with the rain, the way he uses the wall for support- Ghost can see it in his eyes. He's thankful, graciously thankful, when Soap doesn't mention it.

"That was one bloody time. Was Gaz's fault anyway," Soap grumbles, still holding Ghost's hand in his as he leads them inside.

As Ghost tentatively steps into the safehouse again, he realizes that Soap is a saint. Even though he's technically a mass murder, his sins are washed away with the simple act of rearranging a small shack.

Everything remotely Christmas themed is out of sight. No ornaments, no tree, no stockings, no snowmen, no Santas, no paper snowflakes- and not one single Christmas light. Ghost feels his face warm up a stupid amount as he tracks his eyes over the firepit.

The blood is gone.

Soap cleaned the fucking blood.

Ghost whips his head around, and in a rare moment- one of many so far tonight- his mouth is open without a sound coming out.

He wants to say something, really he does, but what can he say when Soap is busying himself with acting as if nothing has changed. As if this is the first time they've walked into the dump.

As if he isn't making a vile, almost forgotten feeling crescendo up in the empty void behind Ghost's sternum.

"Let's raid the place, yeah?" Soap says, looking over the layout. "There's the kitchen, living room, and bedroom. Though, that's fucking generous to call it that, eh?"

Soap is right; the living room and kitchen combined couldn't be more than 12 feet across and 10 feet wide. The bedroom is more of a closet with a pile of blankets against the wall. But, still, the kitchen has cabinets and the living room has a fireplace… that hopefully works.

"You search the kitchen, I'll see if the pit is functional," Ghost murmurs, ignoring how the words grate against his raw throat. Away from the rain, the chill of his soaked clothes is settling on his skin. He's ready to get warm and sleep away the pounding in his head.

"Copy that, L.T." Soap beams, sparing one brief glance before turning on his heels to ramble through the cabinets.

"And Johnny?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

Johnny gives a lopsided smile that makes his eyes shine. "Of course, Simon."

#soapghost #ghostsoap #ghoap #soast #Literally what is their ship name #soap x ghost #ghost x soap #cod mw2 #Angst #hurt/comfort #Please I just want to hold their hands and tell them it's all okay #Also lmao hey I'm alive

[moondancediner]

I’m seriously obsessed with Steve and Eddie and I’m totally okay with it

sorry this took so long to respond, i read your message and it inspired something in me

Daylight

summary: Hawkins has gone to hell but Steve and Eddie still find the good in you

Steve Harrington x Reader

Eddie Munson x Reader

gender neutral reader! no y/n

word count: 1.6k

warnings: little mentions of blood, minor editing

This is half Steve, half Eddie falling in love with you while at Skull Rock (both in the regular world and in the Upside-Down) and you being an oblivious idiot. The first half is Steve, the second half is Eddie, you can read them as if they're one story, or two separate ones :)

This is also part of a challenge I've made up myself (maybe, I haven't seen anyone else do it) inspired by Harry Styles' new album Harry's House, where I'll be writing one blurb/one-shot for each song on the album in hopes that it gets me back in the writing groove

masterlist

If I was a bluebird, I would fly to you

You’d be the spoon

Dip you in honey so I could be sticking to you

It was a wonder, really. Steve was amazed by you. This was, what, the fourth time some shit went and threatened the lives of everyone in this damn town and you still managed to hold it all together, keep everyone in check and not have a total mental breakdown.

You stood over by Dustin, body turned so you were half facing the boy and half facing the circle, watching him pace back and forth with general curiosity. Head tilted ever so slightly to the right, eyes following him as he made tracks in the leaves, pausing every couple seconds. Your head would perk up an inch every time he stopped, and Steve thought that you knew something that the rest of them didn't but he was too distracted by the slope of your nose, the fluttering of your eyelashes and the way you fiddled with your hair to say anything about it.

And it turns out, he wasn't wrong.

But he was merely following you, you had this innate sense about trusting people. Your gut never steered you wrong and you always listened to it. Steve could see it on your face the second you thought something was off. It always took you a minute to admit that you knew something wasn't right, you would fidget with your fingers, your brows would nearly touch, and sometimes you would even bite on your thumb nail, but it never failed that you were right on the money. You were even right about Eddie, who Steve was apprehensive to trust, but not you. You sailed right in, distracting the curly haired super senior who was holding something sharp to his neck, talked him off the ledge and it made him jealous that you saved him by being so nice to the freak.

Not that Steve really thought he was a freak anymore.

Steve watched you watch Dustin and Max and Lucas, your eyes bouncing between the kids you and him had somehow become babysitters for. The kids you loved and would protect with your own life.

The thought made Steve's chest tighten.

"Hey, uh, Henderson's not, uh, cursed is he?" Munson asked from his perch on the ground. To be fair, Eddie was taking this all fairly well. Steve was sure he would've run for the hills if a group of kids started telling him that the reason the whole town was out for his blood was because of some freak game character from an alternate dimension.

"Cursed? No, no, he's fine," Steve glanced at Henderson, who was still pacing, but his eyes moved to yours immediately, drawn to you like a magnet. "Mental? Absolutely." Drawn to your lips as he was reminded once again how badly he wanted to press his own to them.

"Boom!" Dustin exploded, making you jump a little. Steve wanted to rush to your side. "Bada... Bada... Boom! I was right!"

And Henderson was right, the little shit. Your body turned towards Steve, eyes lit up with amusement while Dustin explained how, yeah, Steve was right, he knew where all the good make-out spots in Hawkins were - he invented all of them for crying out loud - but Dustin was right too, something that made you smile when you saw how it irked Steve right to his core.

"He's got an attitude problem," Steve complained to you while you all walked to wherever the compass said the baby gate was.

"I know," you smiled, though it was a teasing kind, "he's kinda the worst," but you didn't mean it, and neither did he.

And Steve really thought he was about to have a chance - his big moment - when you were separated enough from the group and you tripped a little over a hidden branch and he reached out to grab your hand, to steady you, and when you squeezed tight and didn’t let go he thought this is it. This is my chance.

"Dustin, slow down!" Someone yelled ahead of you guys and Steve had to fight the urge not to run away with you, to turn around, go back to Skull Rock, take you with him kicking and screaming if he had to because something bad was about to go down at Lover's Lake. He just knew it.

What he didn't expect was for you to dive head first into a pitch black lake to look for a gate to a hell dimension.

Steve's heart almost dropped out of his ass when you took the lead, popping off your shoes and sweater, revealing the undershirt you had on underneath, momentarily distracting him so he couldn't stop you from plunging into the water before he could even get his mustard yellow sweater off his own body.

You didn't even have the flashlight with you.

Steve let out a string of curse words that probably would've made you laugh, had you not already been gone and by the time he caught up with you, you found the gate and was exactly as they had hypothesized, a snack-sized gate compared to the one El closed.

You reached forward, poking at the skin that covered the glowing red portal but Steve grabbed your hand and pushed off the ground, pulling you to the surface as quickly as possible.

"Are you crazy!?" He didn't mean to yell, really, it just... came out. You grabbed onto the side of the boat at the same time as him, taking a second to cast him an unreadable glance before completely ignoring him. Again.

"We found it."

Infuriating. You were infuriating.

And beautiful.

And amazing.

And getting pulled under the water.

And this time, Steve's heart really did fall out of his ass.

Eddie Munson didn’t think anyone in this town was cool enough for him to be into.

Sure, his D&D friends were cool, how could they not be? But that was a different kind of cool, and after years and years he was pretty damn sure nobody was metal enough for him to like like that.

Until he met you.

He didn’t even really know you - a few passing glances in the halls, a shared class or two - you stayed within your group of friends, not bothering to venture too far out. But you managed to talk him off the ledge while he had a piece of shattered glass pressed to The Hairs neck, and your general calmness in the face of danger kept him nearly glued to your side. There was several times where he felt himself gravitating towards you without noticing, having to consciously distance himself so you wouldn’t get weirded out by the freak.

But you never did.

And here you were, arms raised over your head, getting bandaged up by Steve and Nancy because you decided to dive into a dark lake and got yourself nearby eaten alive by daemon bats in a place Henderson called The Upside Down. And when you ripped one of those demobats nearly in half, Eddie almost proposed right then and there.

You were cool. You were metal. You were fuckin’ Hard. Rock.

Even as you bit back tears while Harrington tightened Nancy’s scrap of shirt around your exposed abdomen.

He wanted to hold your hand and kiss your pain away. Make you laugh so he could see that smile that belonged on the cover of every magazine in the country. Which was stupid, because, again, he didn’t even know you.

And he wanted to punch Harrington for hurting you. Which wasn’t a new feeling because Steve was always a capital D, Dick in school.

“You okay?” You appeared next to him while everyone high tailed it to the Wheeler house in search of the girls guns and another way out of here.

“Me? Shit, shouldn’t I be asking you that?“

You laughed a little and Eddie wondered what your lips tasted like.

“Honestly? I’ve been worse, you just found out about all this like, what, a couple hours ago? I’d be losing my shit if I were you,” you were wearing his denim vest to cover up what the bats had torn apart, the now tattered shirt you had been wearing under your sweater only covered the upper part of your body and Eddie was only being polite when he offered it to you. "Thanks for saving my ass back there by the way."

"Me? Shit, you saved your own ass. Very Ozzy of you." Eddie leaned closer to you as walked side by side, one of his feet lifted in the air to counter his balance and you smiled at him and didn't push him away when he got too close.

"You think so?"

Eddie watched the smile take over your cheeks and felt that all was right in the world again.

"Hell yeah, you're a total badass. The way you just dove into that water," Eddie just shook his head, still walking close enough that his arm would bump your own every couple steps, but you didn't move away and you didn't seem to mind and he couldn't find it in himself to stop, "shit, I could never do something like that."

"I think you'd be surprised by what you would do for the people you love... those people, those kids... that's my family and I'm not gonna let anybody hurt them again."

"That's pretty metal," was all Eddie could think to say. Was all he could say, because if he let his mouth just... go, he was afraid he might say too much.

And you smiled and laughed and Eddie promised himself he would get you out of here without another scratch.

Want more? All you gotta do is ask babes

#fanfic friday #mine #steve harrinton #eddie munson #stranger things #steve harrington x reader #eddie munson x reader #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things x reader #steve harrington x y/n #eddie munson x y/n #fluff #cuteness #christel tag #crescentwolf

[pizzapizzadickz]

.

#haaaaah. im sorta really nervous/amxious about my borthday again. #disordered eating #diary #personal #like. #im gonna have this birthday and make stuff to eat and eat a meal i like n everything #but just think of the calories ;-; #like. im honestly more worried i wont be able to forget for even a day just how much i want to restrict my food intake n everything #like. will i be obsessive n nearly have a breakdown. or will i be fine. #sometimes it do be a coin flip on these things. #but usually im fine? idk tho. #i just have this horribly obsessive personality that isnt satisfied unless im always in control #even when im not in control i like it to be structured not in control #it doesnt even make me happy. thats the sad part #idk why im so bad like this but i hate it sometimes. #i rly do. #and my bunny got sick so its been sorta sucky. #i honeslty just hope he doesnt get worse so we can at least have a nice weekend or something

[waddlenut]

Masterlist of the masterlist - Marvel

I HAVE WRITTEN NONE OF THESE FANFICS, CREDITS TO THE WRITERS!

This is a masterlist of my reblogs :)

AVENGERS

Fluff -

Being a teenage Avengers who’s bubbly and cheerful, and picking up Thor’s hammer one day

Angst -

Finding hope (Y/N has been having a hard time coping. TW - triggers for self harm, mentions of suicide and depression)

Feeling okay? (fav. Avengers cast. TW - low blood pressure and fainting)

PETER PARKER

Fluff -

Wheezy (Peter is the only one who can tease you about your asthma)

Paranoid (your Criminal Minds obsession gets you paranoid about crime in your neighborhood)

Isn't he lovely (Peter and his s/o go into labor and meet their firstborn)

Excuse me (fav. Peter gets his molar taken out and is high on anaesthesia, and all he wants is to touch Y/N her boobs)

Gummy bears (you’re on your period. And your boyfreind, Peter is cute but he can be dumb sometimes. TW - mentions of sex and language)

Pretty (Peter sees you shirtless for the first time. TW - boobies, making out, mentions of sex and May being a cockblock)

Hand on boob (”why is your hand on my boob”)

Sticky boy (Peter stickers to you at the worst moment possible. TW - suggestive themes, mature language, making out and boobies)

Paradise (there’s a beautiful girl talking to the plants around the bakc of the compound. Peter doesn’t know much about love, but he thinks he’s well on his way towards it)

The spectrum (autistic!reader. You join the Avengers and get off on the wrong foot)

She’s just tired (aunt May finds the reader asleep on Peters chest)

Your mess (Peter is drunk and horney, and you have to take care of him. TW - talks of sex, smutty scenes, underage drinking, kisses get heated and Peter almost mentally scars Tony)

Waterproof (Peter sees a joke tiktok about boobs being able to come off, and you try to see how far the joke can go)

Cool kids (fav. You walk in on some domestic bliss between Peter and your little brother)

Huh!? (Peter finds something he wish he didn’t in your backpack)

Spiderman band-aid (Peter wants a nap. You want a kiss. Things get out of hand and you end up sitting in your bathroom with a Spiderman band-aid taped to your lip)

Sleepover (fav. You stay the night at Peter’s house for the first time since you both started dating. May isn’t home and Peter is nervouw. TW - boobies and peter being cute and horny)

Angst -

Dummy (fav. Peter is the only one of the Avengers who doesn’t tease you for being a little slow)

Breathe (the reader grew up with the Avengers, she doesn’t know how to talk to them about somet things. TW - panic attacks)

See, peter! I’m fine! (the reader has been feeling sick and ends up fainting. TW - vomiting and fainting)

Cuddle (Peter has been bottling up his emotions for a while and has a breakdown)

Smut -

Shower (Peter takes to long in the shower and you are getting late for school. So, you come up with a solution which causes a problem for Peter. TW - light smut, flustered!Peter and nuditiy)

Lay me down (fav. soft smut)

Cupcakes (Peter gets easily flustered and you love teasing him)

BUCKY BARNES

Fluff -

Warm (you accidentally took a freezing shower, how convenient is it that your boyfriend is a super soldier with a hot body)

Doubts (the reader doesn’t tell Bucky about her cybernetic leg because she doubts he won’t want to date her anymore. TW - implied smut)

Nutella (late at night, you turn on the kitchen light to find a stranger bleeding on our floor and eating your Nutella)

Fatigue (Y/N isn’t feeling well and still goes out to train. That wasn’t a good idea)

Drugged (just cuddly Bucky)

Shark week (Bucky gets a crueal awakening to womanhood. TW - mentions of periods)

Acne (TW - self love issues, insecure reader, soft!Bucky and implied smut at the end)

Shining armor (Bucky saves you from attempted assault. TW - language, attempted assault, Bucky saves the day)

You’re a ladies man (Bucky said he didn’t like cats, but was that the truth? TW - language)

Safe in your arms (against a drinking game with Thor, you inevitably lose and find yourself on Bucky’s floor)

Night time wanderer (for months you’ve had struggled sleeping, and one night Bucky can’t help but intervene)

Insecurities (Bucky x chubby reader. TW - swear words, insecurities about weight and fluffy Bucky)

Two of a kind (fav. Bucky becomes enticed by a ballerina who he’s more alike than he may think)

Not admirable (fav. Baby sitting your neightbour’s kid and meeting Bucky in the smithsonian)

You were a no show (you and Bucky have liked each other for quite some time, and when he finally has the guts to ask you out, he stands you up at the last minute bevasue he gets scared. TW - self doub/hate but fluffy ending)

Elements and emotions (Bucky rescues you from a hostage situation, only to find you have the ability to control elements by your emotionsleaving him wanting to know more about you)

Life saver (fav. Bucky saves you from embarrassment by making sure no one sees your period stain)

Inseparable, literally (Peters new webbing is highly effective. Something you learn the hard way as you’re forced to be stuck with Bucky for anentire day with no way out)

There’s always another dance (you and Bucky are supposed to go dancing together, but you get really sick and Bucky looks after you. TW - vomiting, nothing to graphic)

Thunderstorms (it turns out your ex-assassin boyfriend is afraid of thunderstorms. You help to comfort him with fluff, cuddleing and singing)

Bath bombs (fav. you introduce Bucky to bath bombs and things take a pleasant turn)

Your protector (fav. You’re a shy person but the best at your job on Stark’s tech team. A certain soldier joins the team and you stick close to him)

Stealing clothes (you are always borrowing Bucky’s clothes. He pretends he doesn’t like it but that blush on his cheeks gives him away)

A spilled secret (You’ve just had your wisdom teeth out and you are still loopy. He wasn’t expecting you to mistake him from someone else)       part 2

Exhausted (you and Bucky live across form each other and have a morning ritual of getting coffee together. One day you aren’t at the place you were supposed to and Bucky freaks out)

Bucky takes care of you when you are drunk (TW - mentions of smut)

Blood stain (asking Bucky to do you an uncomfortable favor. TW - awkwardness)

Pretty dresses (Bucky, you, and the way you love your dresses throughout the seasons. TW - soms angst, mentions of death and major fluff)

Flirt (fav. Bucky always flirts with you. Being shy, you misinterpret his intentions)

Loathing (TW - swearing)

Saving her (TW - swearing, violence and protective!Bucky)

Cookies and cuddles (after your period ruins a date, you rush home upset. Bucky goes to comfort you, and make you feel better about yourself. TW - mentions of periods)

Comfortable (you buy some new lingerie as a suprise for Bucky, but he doesn’t react the way you thought he would. TW - alludes to sex)

Saving the day (on your way back home someone starts following you, when your eyes fall on the most impressive and handsome Avengers, you don’t think twice and find yourself a fake boyfriend. TW - mention of stress harassement)

Soft touch (Bucky slowly but surely learns again that physical contact doesn’t have to be painful. TW - some smuttish parts)

Bucky’s little secret (Bucky has a crush on you)

My sweet girl (40s!Bucky. After WWII, James finds you and resues you from the rest of the world. TW - swearing, violence and a mental illness)

Purr love (fav. Bucky meets your cat and discovers that she has no basic knowledge of personal spance)

Fair play (after a rough mission, you and the team go to Coney Island. Still injured, you can’t go on the rollercoaster with the others so Bucky descides to keep you company)

Shopping misadventures (you go out for shopping and find yourself being harased by a group of guys. Thankfully enough, your knigh in shining armor is never far away. TW - harassment, catcalling and protective!Bucky)

Magic touch (when Bucky’s arm becomes too heavy to carry, he finds help where he didn’t expect it)

That’s my girl! (The team knows you as Bucky’s quiet girlfriend, however that all changes when Sam challenges you to spar. TW - swearing and fighting)

Cotton clouds (plus!size reader gets insecure. TW - body shaming, insecurities, bullying, asshole agents, protective!Bucky and Steve, language, broken noses)

Dating Bucky would include

Wisdom (Bucky goes with you to the dentist when you get your wisdom teeth pulled out)

Bucky dating a short and petite reader would include

Angst - 

Envious (a fire forms in Bucky when a recurring nightmare sends him over the edge. TW - major angst, swearing and an angry Bucky)

Please don’t leave me (a one night stand occurs and you get hurt badly during a mission. Maybe it was a bit more than just a one night stand? TW - mentions of sex and wee bit of angst)

Camera view (while triggered into winter soldier mode, Bucky nearly kills the reader. TW - swearing, near death and strangulation)

Within the smoke (firefighter!bucky. After rescuing a girl form a terrible fire, she insists on rescuing her cat from among the flames. Bucky cannot resist her tear-filled eyes)

Not him (training with Bucky, but one day something doesn’t quite go to plan. TW - some swearing)

Memories (Bucky is triggered into winter soldier mode. TW - violence)

You got me (when Bucky comes back after the Blip, it takes you by surpirse. TW - mention of death)

A battle between mentality (you’re struggling iwth PTSD after the events of endgame and Bucky is there to help comfort you. TW - endgame spoilers and mentions of PTSD)

Unsavory situations (Bucky comes home to find reader having a panic attack. TW - panic attack)

Fireworks (Bucky doesn’t do crowds. He certainly doesn’t do fireworks. But he’d follow you just about anywhere. TW - PTSD symptoms, panic attack and a very sweet Bucky)

The safest place in NYC (a stranger comes to your rescua when you find yourself held at knifepoint, alone in an alleyway, by a man demanding your money. TW - mugging, some pshysical violence and Bucky being a badass but also soft)

Soldat (when a HYDRA agent finds a way to hack into FRIDAY’s system to trigger Bucky into the witner soldier, he nearly kills you. TW - wintersoldier!Bucky, self hate, physical fight and lots of comfort)

Obsession (targeted after your complicated relationship with Bucky ends up on every news channel in the city, your stalker takes things into his own hands to ensure that you belong to him. TW - stalking, kidnapping, mild torture/violence and people being assholes to Bucky)

Just focus on me, okay? (TW - drowning and CPR)

Instinct (reader gets badly hurt by HYDRA)               part 2

Panic (reader has a panic attack, Bucky is cute)

Trigger (Bucky beats himself up after attacking you when he was triggerd during a mission. Angst w/ fluffy ending)

Wrong side of the bed (fav. Bucky is in a bad mood and snaps at the reader. TW - language, Bucky snaps under pressure)

Comfort (Bucky helps you remember what it’s like to feel again. TW - trauma and mentions of blood and gore)

Cold (the reader falls into really cold water durigna  mission, and later at the Avengers tower she gets so sick she faints, but Bucky is there to take care of her)

You’ll get there (Bucky is Y/N’s safe place)

Smut -

Paperwork (after a long mission comees lots of paperwork, what else comes with it? TW - smut, dirty talk, rough sex and fingering)

I’ll always be with you, my love (Y/N and Bucky have both been taking by HYRDA but now you are save with the Avengers. TW - mentions of torture, angst and smut)

The bad days (you and Bucky weren’t supposed to be together, not acording to the cruel voice in the back of your mind. TW - angst, smut, body image insecurities and soft!Bucky)

Cold, cold water (fav. While on a stakeout in the heart of Russia, Bucky learns that touch can bring something more than pain and he will willingly give himself over to the ice if it means keeping you alive. TW - some violence, near drowning, hypothermia)

Dominantion (sub!Bucky x dom!reader. TW - vibrators)

A twice broken man (knowing what will happen if Hydra ever captures him again, Bucky asks the impossible of you. TW - smut, canon level violence, mentions of torture, PTSD symptomes, suicidal thoughts and trauma recovery)

On the inside (Y/N has gained some weight and is afraid that Bucky might not find her attractive anymore, but he does and doesn’t mind showing her. TW - self esteem issues, language, Bucky worshipping your body, immplied smut and semi smut)

Grind on me lke you grinded that pillow (TW - swearing, no penetration, horny!Bucky, half-nakedness, dirty talk and kink af)

Help (TW - swearing, dry humping, sexual themes)

Woods of chaos (TW - panic attack, NSFW gif)

On your knees, little girl - masterlist (TW - daddy kink, ageplay)

Alarm clock 

Boxer!Bucky

STEVE ROGERS

Fluff -

Always be my baby (dad!steve. The baby is milk drunk and Steve is in love)

Don’t underestimate a woman, Barnes (TW - some language)

Mission (Steve and Y/N like eachother but won’t tell that they love eachother. Bucky gets fed up about this and sets up a plan to get them together)

Accidents happen (plus size!reader)

Just breathe (you get an asthma attack. TW - asthma attack and swearing)

Disoriented (reader has a seizure and is comforted. TW - seizure/epilepsy)

Angst -

Accidental confession (Y/N gets shot on a mission and passes out from blood loss. TW - bullets, blood loss and near death experience)

Smut -

Nice & tight (Mobster!Steve x virgin!reader. TW - smut and age gap)

BUCKY BARNES + STEVE ROGERS + READER

Fluff -

Shaken up (Bucky and Steve find the reader passed out. TW - passing out and physical illnes)

As long as I have you (Bucky has an nightmare and accidentally attacks the reader so Steve stops him. TW - physical violence, brainwashing, nightmare and mentions of sex)

Angst -

Lavender blue (Bucky still suffers from his nightmares, and tonight was the worst one yet. TW - nightmares, mentions of abandomment, fluff ending)

Breathe in deep (Y/N gets an asthma attack. TW - severe asthma attack and slight panic attack)

I forgive you (reader gets seriously hurt during the cival war battle)

Alive (reader has a traumatic nightmare)

You touch them again and I’ll kill you! (Protective Bucky. TW - physical abuse, near-death experience)

Don’t let me drown (Steve and Bucky both fear the cold but the reader almost drowns (TW - drowning, PTSD and physical violence)

Blame (Bucky is triggerd into being the winter soldier and hurts the reader)

Not so safe haven (someone breaks into Stark tower and uses the reader as a hostage. TW - gun violence, hostage, threatening with a weapon and physical violence)

On the ropes (reader is on the train infiltration with the hwoling commandos and almost falls off. TW - gun violence)

Nothing (reader has an eating disorder and nobody realises until it effects her mid-mission. TW - anorexia nervose, passing out, collapsing, mentions of physical violence and mild arguing)

The 4 times they didn’t notice and the one time they did (the team tease the reader about her height but it becomes too much. TW - mentions of violence, mentions of terrorism, unconsciousness, teasing comments about short heigt and mild bullying about height)

Unseen (reader gets hit mid-mission but nobody realises until after it’s over. TW - physical violence, blood, bullet wound and unconsciousness)

Fucked up (fav. Tony yells at the reader, triggering her PTSD of an abusive past. TW - arguing, mentions of abusive past, physical violence, PTSD and panic attack)

Capable (the reader has a huge fight with Bucky and Steve and they say something they instantly regret. TW - verbal argument with partners, insult, mentions of blood and fighting and mentions of suicide)

Breathing is overrated anyway (fav. Whoever knew that stress could be so dangerous. TW - small injuries)

LOKI LAUFEYSON

Smut -

Interesting dream (when he catches you dreaming about him, Loki gives you something to remember. TW - multipe orgasms, sex dream)

NATASHA ROMANOFF

Fluff -

Heartbreak central (Kinda mum!Natasha. After having your heart broken for the first timme, Natasha recruits the team to lift your spirits)

PIETRO MAXIMOFF

Angst -

Can’t help falling (fav. the reader gets frequent dizzy spells and she falls over only to find herself in Pietro’s arms)

Hanging on (while fighting on top of the Avengers tower you get pushed off the top)

TONY STARK

Fluff -

Beautiful (you want a tummy tuck behind Tony’s back but you don’t have enough money so you use Tony’s card not knowing that he can see what you’re buying)

BRUCE BANNER

Fluff -

“You need to see a doctor”

Smut -

You don’t scare me (Bruce is scared that he will hurt you)

#marvel masterlist #peter parker masterlist #bucky barnes masterlist #steve rogers masterlist #natasha romanoff masterlist

[running-with-kn1ves]

You could do headcanons or fanfic if possible yandere! Simon Kalivoda (from Fear Street 1994), please.

A/N: Woo I just saw this movie!!! It was so cheesy and perfect, I wanna finish the series~~ Honestly it doesn't get enough hype :c

TW: Gaslighting, yandere/obsessive behaviors, kidnapping, murder mentioned.

Definitely a frantic gaslighter. I feel like he usually doesn't mean to do it on purpose, but it just comes out during arguments. It’ll be one wrong move and he’ll be on his way to making you feel like you’re insane.

Is most likely going to make a move first. The kind of dynamic he’d have with a darling reminds me of either A: two dumbasses doing random shit, nearly killing themselves. Or B: eccentric weirdo forces introvert out of their hole.

Despite looking possessive I feel like he’d be more obsessive at first. Secretly gushing about you to Deena and Kate, taking pictures of you in secret, and being knees weak when his not so subtle flirts get a reaction out of you. He’d be concerned about making sure things were right, and didn’t want to blow his chance.

Simon looks incredibly easy going and relaxed on the outside, but he can really get in his head. His jokes switch from self deprecating to egotistical in a matter of seconds.

He doesn’t strike me as an immediate kidnapper type; in all honesty, he just wants a normal relationship at first. He wants that teenage high school lust and love that everyone else is indulging in. And he feels happy knowing he’s got you. But things take a turn for the worst, when he can’t get enough.

The idea of just being with you used to be well and fine, but after being able to spend so much time, he’s gotten used to it, and wants more.

He’ll invite you out on seemingly small, friendly dates at first. It’ll all be in order not to scare you off, and to make sure everything goes right. Whether it's painting your nails with him to watching a shitty horror movie, he’ll have it ready. Simon will do loads of stalking research to make sure he knows what you like, the type of hobbies you have, what kind of guys you’re into, etc. He wants everything to go perfect, and will have a genuine internal breakdown if something goes haywire.

With the constant murders occurring in Shadyside, he worries. People getting stabbed left and right, he wouldn’t put it past the possibility of you getting killed. Which is why, after your relationship has blossomed, he wouldn’t mind drugging you and tying you up, just for a little while.

It wouldn’t be out of malicious intent-- even HE feels strange and conflicted about it. But it’s too dangerous to let you go; he loves his family and friends but doesn’t worship them like he does you.

Simon would be incredibly understanding at first, knowing how hard it is to be forced in such a trapped position. He'd be very gentle and never force anything as long as you did what he said. Even then, if you refused to eat, he’d let you take your time. But eventually, he’ll get tired of the constant fights and the lack of fun banter. So, what does he do? What he knows best.

Crush a couple sleep-aids in your water and it’ll be all good. Being half drugged out most of the time, you won’t even register as he force feeds and helps groom you.

It’ll become a daily routine, but he misses how it used to be. Even though he has you now, it’s so much different. Simon wants the playful banter back, the flirting, the hesitating interlocked fingers.

He’ll do anything to bring that normalcy back, whether it's gaslighting, or threatening to drug you again if you don’t watch a movie with him.

Simon’s so kind and funny, how could he ever kidnap a person? No one will expect it was him who caused your disappearance; it’ll be blamed once again on one of the Shadyside mass murderers.

Even as you move away from him in the night, he needs a part of you, something; anything. Just a hand on your back, or an arm wrapped around you, it’s gotta be there. He likes to have a reminder that you’re near; it’s not so much to do with being touch starved, rather than it is with security. He wants the security of knowing that you can’t leave, or at least are semi- in love with him, even if that’s not true.

Simon is most definitely fitting of the “lovesick puppy” stereotype. He’s not clingy, but he definitely indulges in fantasies a lot. Often his fantasies will prove to be more alluring than reality, but that won’t stop him from trying to force you to act them out.

#simon kalivoda #fear street #fear street 1994 #fear street fanfiction #fanfiction #x reader #simon kalivoda x reader #simon x reader #self insert #reader insert #horror fanfiction #horror movies #bi icon #yandere x reader #yandere characters #slasher #fear street fandom

[sugurus-slxt]

Our Song – Tsukishima Kei

Type: fluff (SFW)

Warnings: slight cursing, not eating, crying

Note: Guess you could say it’s a college au but I’ve been working at this for a while so I hope you like it.

Word Count: 3388

Hope you guys enjoy the story      

Sunday [6:30 p.m.]

You were laying on your bed in your dorm running your fingers through Kei’s hair while he listened to music. This is how you spent most rainy weekends. He was quietly humming to his overly loud music but you were kind of in a daze looking at the wall but not quite. You did this a lot while staring off in your faraway land, thinking of a future with him but it’s not something you would tell him. You were too afraid he didn’t feel the same way. You knew he loved you, nearly two years into college and you both are still going strong but what if he never thought about it.

“Hey, shorty! Whatcha thinking about?” He looked up at you. “Oh, nothing really just some assignment my professor mentioned in class today,” you lied trying to brush it off quickly. He just shrugged and asked, “Ok...  Umm…Wanna listen to music with me? I’ll play my playlist you like.” You nodded, “I’ll get my Bluetooth headphone…” he pulled on your wrist. “I’ll share these with you,” he held up his regular earbuds and you agreed. If that’s what he wants, it was fine with you.

Tsukishima would never admit it but sharing his earbuds like this with you made him feel more connected like sharing your energy, a sort of bond, it was romantic for him. The thought of it always made the tips of his ears turn pink. He switched positions to have you lay next to him, your face buried in his chest. Silently, he prayed you couldn’t feel his heart quicken as he rested his head atop yours and hand on your waist. Headphones plugged on the playlist began. A few songs in a familiar song started to play, a love song, one of your favorites. “Babe? This song …” you started but he shushed you. “I know. I know. I added it because I knew you liked it ok now just listen ok. It’s no big deal,” his fingers played along your spine only making you feel more nervous. Your thoughts began to wander as more of your favorite romantic songs played. At this point, it was 7:30 PM and there was one thought that couldn’t leave your mind ‘What’s our song?’ and before you knew it you started talking, “Hey um Kei? What’s our song?” You regretted it as soon as you asked. “Huh? What do you mean our song?” he questioned his voice slightly drowsy and muffled by your hair. “It’s just… you know what it’s nothing,” you brushed it off and tried to continue listening to the music but he paused it.

“Spit it out y/n,” he said looking at you, it wasn’t meant to be rude, he just preferred you to be straightforward. You didn’t intend to make a mini-rant but it happened, “You know our song. It like a song for us that describes us and no matter where or who we’re with when it plays we think of each other. Or like if we are together and it’s just that knowing look that happens when it plays. Our song that’ll make it feel like it’s just us no matter who’s around. And it’s not just us you know its fits us, describes us like it was meant for us. Like it’s a song we can play to dance at our wedding, and again on our anniversary and relive the moment. Maybe even for our ki-,” you stopped in your tracks. You had caught yourself before you went too far. It was unbelievable you just brushed it off a while ago but it still managed to come out. Your most insecure thoughts were poking at you as Kei just kind of looked at you, lips parted. You’ve never seen that expression well except the time he’d see you naked for the first time but still, this was a bit different. He looked away scratching his neck and said, “Oh ok… Well, we can think about a song I guess but I’m kinda hungry and I told Tadashi I would go for pizza with him so I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Your face fell as he grabbed his stuff and walked out of your dorm. He just kind of brushed it off and you were terrified because he was supposed to stay the night. You knew Kei could be like this, he wasn’t the best with his emotions and you knew that. You even loved it but this time his lack of response just threw you into a blender of bad thoughts. Maybe you just made him nervous but what if he didn’t want that, what if you had scared him off your mind was racing. You went to bed without dinner and tried to fall asleep whilst listening to the playlist he had made for you whilst trying to hold back sobs. It’s a miracle you got any sleep that night, thoughts kept attacking you “What if he breaks up with me tomorrow? What if he doesn’t want that with me? Does he think I’m stupid for thinking so far? ”

-----Out for Pizza with Yamaguchi-----

“I thought you and y/n had plans?” he said sipping his drink.

“Hey … We did but um she started talking about this thing called ‘our song’,” he was hoping he could clear his head and talk about how he felt without messing things up. Tadashi was always good with words and being kind.

“But isn’t that like good?” He asked confused chewing his pizza. Unlike Tsukishima who hadn’t touched his food even a bit.

“I guess but she was talking about marriage and kids and I-,” he paused looking down whilst fiddling with the straw in his drink.

-----The Next Day-----

You put on some concealer to hide your eye bags and puffiness, some regular comfy clothes, and bought a whole lot of coffee, just something to get you through today but it didn’t help. You couldn’t focus and it was driving you mad. Your friends noticed your teachers and even the janitor. There was no doubt Kei wouldn’t notice but he wouldn’t let you just say “It’s nothing…” However, there was one problem you hadn’t seen him all day. It was the end of this achingly slow day and you bumped into Yamaguchi, “Hey have you seen Tsukishima?” He smiled and said, “No, I haven’t seen him since yesterday but I’m sure you could probably find him in his dorm later.” You wanted to ask him if Kei had said anything but in all honestly you were too scared to. You thanked him and quickly went on you way.

-----Next Week------

The entirety of last week had followed a similar cycle to the say after what you consider the “Great Tragedy”.  You’d barely eaten or slept, the dark circles were becoming more than obvious. You were convinced you guys were over and it was getting harder to bear. Sure you could have just seen him at his dorm and ended this prolonged misery much quicker but something always came up whether it be a problem, an assignment, or just your cowardly nature towards the situation. At this point, you were just torturing yourself. Tomorrow was your 2 year anniversary and you were more than afraid to face him. That’s if it wasn’t over already.

-----At Tsukshima’s Dorm-----

“You have to go see her,” Yamaguchi pleaded

“But what if she doesn’t want me anymore now? What if I messed up? Worse what if she thinks you hate her? I should have seen her even if I was busy.  I’m always such- such dammit I’m an asshole,” it was one of those rare moments in his life where he was having a breakdown and he didn’t know what to do.

“Tsukishima Kei! You better calm down right now!” Yamaguchi held on to Tsukishima shaking his shoulders. “You aren’t going to know unless you find out ok. I know you, even if you’re not good at expressing yourself but you always succeed in getting the point across plus just sleep tonight and execute the master plan tomorrow. And for the record she knew you were an asshole, strangely I think she likes that,” he patted Tsukishima on the back and left the dorm, giving him a small laugh and smile of reassurance.

The words master plan gave him some comfort but he wouldn’t really call it that. It was always the plan it just took longer than he expected. He’s kind of glad you never came to check on him but he knew you, even if it didn’t seem that way. He knew you were hurt and your habits would have taken a turn for the bad he just hoped that he didn’t mess up for good. Tomorrow was your anniversary so in a sense the timing was perfect. The only problem was he’d avoided you for so long he hadn’t even seen you, sure he asked around but his worries weren’t put to rest so easily. He’d never let you know how obsessive he could be.

It killed him to be away from you for so long, especially how your last encounter had ended.  He could only hope this would make you see, make you understand how he feels once and for all.

----- Anniversary----- 

He was hoping he could catch you around campus for lunch and maybe convince you to take a walk with him to the nearby coffee shop where both of you had your first date, but you weren’t anywhere to be seen. He remembered that date, no matter what snarky remark he made you’d laugh and giggle. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, but he wouldn’t show it, instead, he’d made a snarky remark towards you laugh which only made you laugh harder. He was intrigued, captured in a sort of way and he knew you’d keep him that way for a long time but now it was a bit different.

“Hey, Tsukki! I heard she’s in her dorm, she hadn’t gone to classes all day,” Yamaguchi ran up to him pulling him out of the memory.

“Thank you!” He ran quickly, practicing more often really paid of athletic-wise.

----- In Your Dorm -----

You hadn’t moved all day. No breakfast, lunch, snack not even water. Your body ached, your nose stuffed not only from crying but rather because you worried yourself sick, literally. His gift laid unwrapped on the floor, It was a box of various things you thought he might like, new kneepads with a cute little dino on the ends, a jacket with an embroidered moon on it, cute matching dino necklaces, and a plushy which was you guessed it a dinosaur. Now you were wondering if he’d even want anything from you.  

As the heaviness of your eyelids started to take over there was a sound of the door opening, you quickly pulled the blanket over your head. Kei was the only one with a key; you wouldn’t let him see you like this. You didn’t want this to be the last way he saw of you, pathetic, weak, and plain loser. You prepared yourself to be broken up with as he called out, “Y/n! Y/n! Shorty! Babe, I’m coming in!” ‘Babe ?” your thoughts lingered on the word, it gave you hope and a bit of courage to call back out quietly because you could barely raise your voice, “I’m in my bed.”

He peeked his head in and the sight made his heart crack, “You little dummy! You got yourself sick; I should have known this would happen. Umm, I’ll be right back.” He ran out and in about 15 minutes he had been back, and even then you were still shocked and confused. “I’m in your kitchen,” He called out.  All you could manage was to mumble a simple ‘ok.’ His plans had few out the window and in all honesty, he was panicking just a bit but he still had a backup plan though and he thinks it’ll work just fine. All he had to do was try his best to do what he came here for, he just wanted to make you see and hopefully he hadn’t ruined everything.

Tsukishima waltzed into your room carrying a bowl, “Ok, I’m no cook but I can make ramen. You better like it ok.” He helped you sit up and held the spoon to your mouth which kind of took you by surprise, “Come on open up or I’ll eat it myself. Unless you want me to do that airplane thing they do for babies you’re such a child anyways,” he joked earning a little giggle from you. You gladly took the mouthful and smiled, “Yummy. Thank you, babe,” a small smile quirked his lips to your response. This caused your cheeks to feel even warmer if that was even possible, the fever was already burning you alive. After you finished the ramen, he made you take some medicine and drink water. At this point, the fact that today was your anniversary was completely forgotten but you did the one thing that got you into this mess again. You blurted out, “So you’re not here to break up with me?” He looked sort of taken aback, had he really made you feel that way. He thought maybe his lack of response had made you sort of letting go of yourself but he didn’t think that this could happen. He hated that he couldn’t make you believe in his love, that he always came off as cold but it was time to execute the plan. He hoped this would show you.

“What? No, no I’m not here for that but um we can talk about this after you should get some rest,” He padded towards you and laid next to you wrapping his arms around you. “What if you get sick?” you questioned him quietly. “It’s whatever; you’re the dummy who didn’t take care of yourself so now I gotta do this. Plus maybe then you can take care of me, you owe me anyway because I made you my amazing ramen,” you chuckled at his response, leaning into his touch. “Wait I almost forgot,” he grabbed his earbuds and his phone. He readjusted and started the music, you were four songs in, all happened to be a mix of his and your favorites.

Tsukishima’s heart rate had quickened and his breathes were getting shallow, it was fast approaching and he was nervous. He couldn’t help but wonder ‘What if you hadn’t liked it?’ The song started and you knew immediately, you couldn’t face him your hand over your mouth, tears welled in your eyes it was beautiful, it was perfect. You could feel every emotion, every thought, you knew he loved you before but this was pure, it was his everything and he did it all for you.

The weight shifted on the bed as he came on the other side of the bed on one knee, he pulled your hand from your mouth and kissed your knuckles, “I’m sorry I left you waiting for so long, I’m sorry I made you feel lonely and hurt but most of all I’m sorry for making you didn’t think I loved you. I’m not the best with words so um I hope this comes out right. When I met you, I felt like I finally found my person, you loved my dry, snarky humor, weren’t easily fazed and most of all you never judged me. You made me feel accepted, loved and I could never ask for anything more. I- I- spent the last week thinking about what you said and well you know what else now, I’m sure you can tell. Anyway, umm I want to get married, I want cute kids that look like you and have your cute laugh, I want it all, I’m sorry I didn’t make it seem that way, I just never thought you could want that with me but I panicked though I was beyond happy. I can’t propose to you now but I want to promise myself to you with these,” he held out his other hand with two rings; they were dino rings which made it even cuter. You couldn’t help but giggle as you wiped the tear with your other hand. “That’s if you still want me and we can play this song, Our Song at our wedding, in the car, for our kids, whenever you want if that’s still what you want,” he broke, tears slid down his cheeks.

 He was never one to cry, and when he did it was genuine. You shifted your body, your legs off the side of the bed, and him now kneeling in between them. You raised his slightly bowed head, holding his face and wiping the stray tears on his cheeks, “Kei, you’ve never made me feel lonely, I just over thought and you know kind of thought maybe you didn’t want to have kids or get married or the whole shebang. I’m not the most optimistic person so I immediately assumed the worst. This isn’t your fault I’m just a big idiot and I love you so much. So yes I want all those things with you and no one else.”  He laughed a bit, “Yep you’re an idiot but you’re my big idiot and I love you too, shorty hmmm shortcake,” he placed a gentle kiss against your lips and slips on the funny little ring.

“Hey you were supposed to say I’m not an idiot but what did I expect, shortcake though I like that,” You leaned in as he hummed in response against your lips. He is incessantly kissing you but a question crossed your mind and you stopped him, “What’s wrong y/n?” He questioned a bit worried. “How did you make that song by yourself? Not to mention your voice is amazing babe. You should consider music as a career you know,” you looked waiting for a response. “Well you see, I had some of the lyrics written about half a year ago and what you said made me finish em. You made me really happy but also nervous and I was scared to mess up so I panicked. I thought maybe if I had finished the song I could get my feelings across so I met up with someone I knew from my time in high school and he helped me out. Semi Eita, the musician he helped me with the tune and the music in the background. I took a bit longer mainly because I needed it to be perfect and I was nervous.  So yeah but I’m gonna be a pro volleyball player babe, I didn’t know my voice was good until Semi suggested I sing it myself.”

“Wait like the Semi Eita,” your eyes sparkled, you loved his music, “You never told me you knew him. Wait sorry I’m off-topic, the song was perfect and you wrote these that long who knew you could be so romantic?” He looked at you slightly frowning, “Hey! I can be romantic ok. You try to top that. Humph!  I’m glad you like the song though. Oh also I’ll introduce you next week to Semi he’s been curious, something about someone who can handle the Tsukishima Kei. I don’t know what he’s talking about.” You jumped up, “I can’t wait. Yayyyy. Oh wait before I forget I didn’t wrap your gift but it’s over there, I kind of got necklaces, they match the rings.” You twirl around excitedly when suddenly he grabs you by the waist, “Well since your feeling so much better, maybe you can give me another gift,” he pulls you down to straddle his lap on the bed instantly attaching his lips to your neck.

You jokingly cough in his face and run as he chases you around the dorm shouting, “You damn pipsqueak when I catch you which you better hope I don’t, you’re so screwed.” He does eventually catch you but he drags you back to be for cuddles, kisses and a bit more. Needless to say, both of you did not attend classes tomorrow.

I always found it hard to be myself

But you made feel like no one else

A love like no other is what I really felt

So I’m in this in sickness and in health

So that’s what I thought the last verse could have been but I’m no song writer so I’m sorry if its horrible. On that note I hope you enjoyed the story. I encourage constructive criticism and I hope to see you again.

PS I am working on your requests I promise it’ll be here soon. 

If you liked my work, maybe you might want to buy me some coffee ☕️?

Question; Do you want what happened if Y/N decided not to be playful aka the NSFW?

#soft tsukishima #tsukishima #tsukishima aftercare #tsukishima kei #tsukishima x y/n #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima x oc #hq yamaguchi #yamaguchi tadashi #tsukki #hq tsukki #gomen tsukki #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu fluff #tsukishima fanfiction #tsukishima fluff #kei tsukki #kei tsukishima #haikyuu #our song #semi x reader #semi eita #shirtoizawa #haikyuu fluf #y/n #kurasano #haikyuu tsukki #haikyuu tsukishima #Sar.writes

[wiypt-writes]

Stark Spangled Banner

Ch 12: Fairy Tale Of New York

Part 1- Gram Mo Chroi

Summary: In the run up to the Festive Period, Katie presents the Publishing Company proposal to the Stark Industries board, and our favourite couple spend their first Christmas together in New York. New Year’s Eve is welcomed in with a bang at a Stark Industries Gala and Steve’s simply happy he has his girl by his side…even when there’s a little mishap in The Elevator

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

Warnings: SMUT (NSFW!) So over 18s only please. And some teeth rotting fluff… and LANGUAGE

A/N: Once again thanks to @angrybirdcr​ for her GORGEOUS edit

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Chapter 11

Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist // Main Masterlist

December 2013

Steve loved his girl. He would die for her if he had to, without a second thought. But the one thing he dreaded above everything was the thought of shopping, not least as it was the middle of December. Frankly, when she was shopping for herself Katie was a nightmare. Not on purpose, she was just so indecisive about whatever she was looking for, insisting that things made her look too wide hipped, short, big assed, big chested (which he’d told her cheekily wasn’t the clothes fault she had good assets which had earned him a slap around the back of the head). It was ridiculous, she was ridiculous, and he had no idea why she was so insecure as frankly she was gorgeous and would stop a room if she walked in wearing a sack.

“You don’t need to come!” She chuckled at him, shoving on her jacket. “I know I’m a pain in the ass and it’ll take me ages, plus it will be busy as it’s nearly Christmas.” “You sure?”

“Yeah.” She smiled, dropping her arms round his shoulders from behind the sofa, her hands coming to rest on his chest. “I just need a break from that damned proposal and to be honest, I only make you come so you can carry my bags.” “Nice to see I have my uses” He snorted sarcastically, rolling his head round so he could catch her lips.

“Well it makes me feel special.” She shrugged as she straightened up.

And damned it, after she’d said that, how could he not go?

“You know what, its fine. I’ll come. Give me a second.” He gave a slight sigh or resignation, and when he glanced at her he noticed her turn around with a smirk on her face and he knew then he’d been played, well and truly.

“You’re so full of shit.” He shook his head as she laughed whilst he went to retrieve his boots.

Two hours later he was beginning to regret his utter lack of ability to resist her charms. She was still flapping about her New Year’s Eve outfit for the Stark Industries Ball, worse than she normally did Steve noted. Six dresses she had tried on. Six, and she hated every one. Deciding enough was enough, instead of letting her walk into the next shop he’d tugged her hand, his strength easily keeping her from following her intended path and pulled her up the escalator to the fancy, pretentious champagne bar that was placed on the floor overlooking the lower floors of the City Centre mall.

“Why can’t I find anything that looks good?” She muttered as he slid a glass of Bollinger over to her, handing his card to the bar tender.

“Katie, stop it.” He looked at her where she was perched next to him at the bar. “All of them looked great.” “You’d say that no matter what.” She looked at him, and she couldn’t help but smile at the affection on his face.

“Because it’s true.” He smirked taking a pull of his beer “But if you want my opinion the red one was my favourite.” And it was. It was a scarlet colour, straight cut satin number, which clung to every delectable curve of her body, flashing a peep of leg through the thigh high split on the right hand side, not to mention the neckline and back. It was a halter-neck with a cowl at the front giving a subtle flash of cleavage and left her upper back was bare. It was demure enough to keep most of what was underneath it to the imagination, yet also flashed enough skin to make him feel slightly warm every time he looked at her. When he’d seen her walk out of the changing room it, it had almost made his mouth water, and it had definitely made his trousers feel tighter

“The Galliano one?”

“If that was the red one then yeah.” He laughed. “Come on, Doll, like I’m gonna know that!”

She grinned as he looked up and thanked the bar tender, signing his name on the check with a flourish. He didn’t even look at how ludicrously expensive the champagne and his fancy European lager was. He didn’t care, he earned enough from SHIELD to treat his girl every once in a while. In fact, as he watched her lost in thoughts, he decided then he wanted to buy her the dress too.

“Let me buy it for you.” He said softly.

“What?” She frowned “Don’t be stupid, not like I can’t afford it.” “That isn’t the point.” He sighed, rolling his eyes at her stubbornness. “I’d like to.” She eyed him for a moment before she smiled and reached out to gently brush his cheek with her hand “Okay. Thank you.” Well that had been easier than he had anticipated. Normally she argued like hell about paying for things, be it takeout, food, meals, dates. Instead, she leaned over to give him a soft peck on the lips and he smiled back. But then another frown creased her brow and she was back to brooding again.

“Sweetheart, what is it?” He asked, his hand landing on her knee.

Katie looked up at him, before she sighed. “I’m nervous.” “About the pitch?”

She nodded. And she was. She had been working on the Presentation and Business Plan for the Publishers since Thanksgiving. The Business Plan had been submitted to the board two days ago, and she was due to give the Presentation tomorrow morning. She had hoped that shopping for a new power suit and a dress for New Year’s would distract her for a few hours. It hadn’t.

“Doll, you’ve been working on it for weeks. Pepper says it’s great, even Tony didn’t find anything to pick holes in.”

“I just, well I want everyone to vote on it because it’s a good idea, not just because of who I am, you know?” “And they will. Honestly, you’re over thinking and over worrying. You’re going to smash it.”

He watched as a small smile tugged at her lips “You and your sudden obsession with street lingo.”

“What?” He frowned, mock annoyance on his face “Can’t Captain America be down with the kids?” “Okay, I never want to hear you say that, ever again.” she chuckled and he grinned. “Oh, but speaking of Kids…are you gonna make the Foundation Party?”

Steve took a deep breath. The Stark Foundation apparently hosted a yearly Christmas Party at the tower for local children who were either ill or in the care system. Last year’s hadn’t gone ahead on account of Tony’s near mental breakdown-slash-terrorist problem but this year they were full steam ahead. Tony would be there in his Iron Man get up, Katie as well (she loved everything about the party) and she’d asked Steve if he would mind coming along. And he didn’t mind per-se, it was just the idea of 50 kids running around that invited utter chaos.

“I’m gonna try, Sweetheart. As long as there’s no missions that go off I’ll be there.”

“Well don’t worry if you can’t” she said, smiling “We’re not telling the kids you are anyway, so if you turn up it will be like Santa himself has arrived. Only in a different suit. And with a shield not a sack.”

Steve let out a chortle before he dropped a kiss to her head “Ok Cinderella, let’s go get your dress then we can go home, eat junk and watch trash.”

“You know how to spoil a lady.” Katie smirked, and Steve flashed her a grin, not least because he knew it was her favourite thing to do in the world.

***** Katie took a deep breath as she sat in Pepper’s office. She’d landed in New York little over an hour ago and was now nervous as hell. Really nervous. Steve had assured her she would be fine as he had dropped her at the airfield to catch the jet over. He had assured her she would be fine when he kissed her goodbye. He had assured her she would be fine when she landed and received his text message. And all that amounted to was the fact she now thought Steve was an optimistic fool because she was not fine. She was shitting herself.

“You ready?” Pepper asked as she walked into her office, effortlessly business-like but graceful as always.

“No.” Katie said honestly, looking up from where she had been sat reading over her cue cards again.

“Well, we’re about to start.” she smiled “I put you on first so you can concentrate on the rest of the board meeting once you’ve pitched.” Katie nodded and stood up, smoothing down her pencil skirt. “Ok, let’s get it over with.” She followed Pepper down to the Boardroom and stepped inside where one of the Interns was setting up the screen to the right. She smiled at the other members of the Board, all who she knew by name and took a seat to the right of Tony who held the head of the table, Pepper sitting opposite her to his left.

“You got this Kiddo.” Tony leaned over to whisper in her ear before he sat up “Alright Ladies and Gents, the last Board meeting of 2013…”

Katie listened as Tony spoke and then Pepper outlined the agenda and then way too fast she was being invited to speak. She stood up, cleared her throat, looked at the Presentation, to her cards and then froze before she smiled gently.

“You know what…” She said, looking round “I had a huge, posh presentation prepared but I know you’ve read all the statistics and the numbers” she took a deep breath and tossed her cue cards down on the table “So I’m gonna speak from my heart and share my vision…or in Tony’s words, I’m winging it….” Tony leaned back in his chair and watched as his sister held the room, occasionally glancing at Pepper who was smiling proudly. Katie spoke articulately, clearly but most of all passionately. He could tell that most of the board members were with her, the only one that was going to be an ass-hat about it was Jeremy Saul, their Finance Director. He had been the only one that had questioned the viability of Katie’s desire to go for un-published, un-known authors. Her proposal and vision wasn’t about making as much profit as possible, it was about encouraging talent.

“I just have one question…” Jeremy leaned back in his chair and Tony sat up, stroking his beard as he looked at the man who was staring up at his sister. Katie turned her gaze to him.

“By all means, please Mr Saul.” 

Arse-Saul more like… “I’ve read the business plan. You don’t intend to turn a profit for the first year…” He continued, an annoyingly smug look on his face. “And even after that you don’t seem to be focussed on any kind of margins or return on sales whatsoever.” “That’s correct.” Katie nodded.

“Well, forgive me for asking but what benefit will this bring to Stark Industries from a money perspective?” Katie took a deep breath, and glanced at Tony who had arched his eyebrow. She could tell he was thinking the same thing as her - ‘Dickhead’.

“The same benefit the Stark Relief Fund brings. The same benefit the Stark Foundation brings.” Katie replied, taking a deep breath “I’m not going to lie, my vision isn’t about profiteering. It’s about giving a springboard to those Authors who, like JK Rowling have had every door so far slammed in their faces.” she looked around the room remembering Peppers’ advice- Enthuse, engage, engross. “Granted, in the future it would be nice to have a decent turn over, and I don’t want to run at a loss. I’m a firm believer I can make it breakeven in the first two years as the numbers show, and the remaining three on the five year plan show a return on sales of just over five percent.”

“That isn’t a huge amount.” Saul looked at Katie and she nodded.

“You’re right, it isn’t. But you know as well as I do that Stark Industries turns over a ludicrous amount of money every year so it doesn’t need another section which turns over profits in excess of thirty percent. That isn’t my vision here, and that’s not what setting up Stark Independent Publishing is about.”

Saul nodded and scribbled down something on his note pad and looked to Pepper who was leading the meeting to show he had no more questions.

Katie took a deep breath, thanked everyone for their time and sat down.

“Okay, let’s take a break.” Pepper said, glancing around the room “Grab a coffee, back here in ten minutes for the Contract Status review.” she shot Katie a large smile as she stood up and walked out of the large Oak doors.

“Kiddo.” Tony leaned over as the various board members started to move about and chatter amongst themselves “You crushed it.”

Katie smiled at her brother as he squeezed her shoulder before standing up and shrugging on his jacket.

“Think that calls for a drink…hey, Pepper, can we…”

His voice trailed off as the boardroom door shut, leaving Katie alone. Leaning back in her chair she allowed herself a smile. That hadn’t gone too bad after all.

*****

Steve looked over to where his phone was placed on the bench by the side of the gym for what felt like the one hundredth time since midday. The meeting should be over by now.

“Expecting a call?” Natasha drawled as she sent a right hook his way which he dodged.

“It’s Katie’s pitch today.” He jabbed back with a forearm throw which Natasha easily twirled under. “I thought it would be done by now.” In all honesty he wasn’t nervous. He knew she’d got this, the passion and the detail she’d put into it made it impossible for her not to. He’d told her as much when she’d zipped up that delectable grey pencil skirt over dark black tights and shrugged on a silky black blouse that morning after her shower. He’d told her as much when he’d kissed her goodbye at the air field.

But he still wanted to know she was okay.

“Oh, the Publishing thing?” Nat asked and Steve nodded as they circled on another. “She’s a Stark, what she gotta pitch for?”

“There’s an entire board.” Steve said. “She can’t vote on it as it’s a conflict of interest. So even if Tony votes, it isn’t enough to hold a true majority. She needs them both onside.” “Huh.” Nat said, “No wonder you’re distracted.” “I’m not…” he began but in a swoop Natasha had his legs from under him, knee pressed against his throat, a shit eating grin spread across her face as he rolled his eyes.

“Wanna finish that sentence?” She smirked.

He took a deep breath as she stood up and then his phone began to ring. He effortlessly rolled out of Natasha’s light hold and crossed the room to pick it up.

“Hey, Doll.” he said, smiling. “How did it go?” “Well…” Katie began to talk, and Steve had to strain to hear her voice over the noise in the background, noise that sounded like a bar. “It could have gone worse…” “But it couldn’t have gone much better either Spangles…” Tony added from the back ground “She was fucking amazing.” “Told you.” Steve grinned, giving Natasha the thumbs up.

“Tony’s being premature. We won’t know if they’re going to agree until the end of the year but he insisted we come out for drinks anyway.”

“Pssht” Tony said in the background. “It’s nearly Christmas, can’t I treat my little sister to an afternoon on the Pier…hey, yeah can I get a…”

Steve smiled as the noise started to die down a little, Katie having moved to find a quieter spot.

“So it went well?” “Yeah. Was pointless me spending so much time on my presentation though.” she laughed “I didn’t use it in the end, went for the tried and tested Stark format of winging it.”

Steve let out a chuckle and looked back at Natasha who was watching him, an odd smirk on her face “I’m pleased it went well honey but I gotta go. I gotta finish this sparring session then I have one of those damned videos to film…” “What is it today?” Katie asked, and he could her the grin in her voice as she dropped it to mimick his own “’So, you had your first wet dream?’”

“Punk.” he shot immediately and she let out a laugh.

“Jerk”

****

“Okay, so, we all set?” Tony said, stepping forward and examining his repulsor gauntlets.

“As ready as we’ll ever be.” Katie straightened the Nova Star shaped buckle on her utility belt.

“Let’s just stick to the plan.” Steve looked to Katie on his right, then Tony on his left before focusing on the door in front “One group each. No distractions.”

The siblings nodded and Steve stepped forward, opening the large door. They were instantly hit with a barrage of noise as forty-five kids swamped the three Avengers. But it was a small, olive-skinned, ebony haired girl that reached Katie first, and she bent down beaming.

“Emmy!” Katie pulled the small girl into a hug “Wow, you’ve gotten so big!”

“I’m six now.” Emmy said proudly, flashing a grin. Her front tooth was missing.

“No.” Katie shook her head. “Uh-uh, no way.” “I am.”

“You’re catching me up!”

Emmy let out a giggle and Katie stood up, glancing over at where Tony and Steve were surrounded by little people, all of them bouncing up and down.  Emmy, however, hung back slightly as the other children all pushed forward to hug or see Iron Man or Captain America, and she gripped Katie’s leg tighter.

“You okay?” Katie glanced down at the little girl who clung to her leg as she nodded.

“I want to meet Captain America.” She said, shyly. “Everyone says he’s your boyfriend. Is that true?” “It is.” Katie nodded.

“So you kiss him?”

“I do.” Katie grinned as Emmy made a gagging noise. With a chuckle she gently ruffled the girl’s hair. “Come on, I’ll take you to say hi.” Emmy took Katie’s hand and they crossed the room to where the crowd had now dispersed, the kids being shepherded into the various groups for the annual tour round the tower, which was basically one huge big supervised treasure hunt where each of them came back holding the latest games console or tablet depending on their age.

“Captain?” Katie called and Steve frowned, turning round, it had been a while since she had called him that, well outside of the bedroom anyway. As he looked at her, the tell-tale flush spread up her neck into her face and he knew she’d had the same thought. Ignoring the heat in his own cheeks he looked at her and watched as she gently moved her gloved hand to the back of the dark haired girl’s head, as the kid’s hand curled round Katie’s. Her large, brown eyes glanced up at Steve shyly. “There’s someone here that wants to meet you.”

Steve smiled, his head devoid of his helmet, and he crouched down in front of the small girl as Katie did the same, dropping to her level. “Hi.” He greeted her.

“Hi…” She replied softly “My name’s Emily.” “Emily, that’s a real pretty name, little Miss.” Steve smiled at her

“My friends call me Emmy.”

“Can I call you Emmy?” Steve asked.

The small girl seemed to ponder for a second before she looked at Katie then back to Steve “Katie calls me Emmy. And as you’re her boyfriend I suppose that would be okay.” Steve looked at Katie who was biting her lip to stop herself from laughing and he nodded at the small girl, a smile crossing his face “Well how’s about you call me Steve then, but we keep it to ourselves. Only you and the grown-ups can call me that today.”

“Mr Stark calls you Spangles.” Emmy said, frowning.

“Yeah, he said grown-ups.” Katie smiled “Tony is not a grown up.” Emmy let out a giggle “You’re silly, Katie.” “She is.” Steve nodded and Katie stuck out her tongue and crossed her eyes causing the small girl to laugh even harder.

“Emmy!” One of the attendees from the home called and beckoned her over “Come on or you’ll miss the treasure hunt.”

Emmy threw her arms round Steve and he momentarily paused before he gave her a hug before she ran off to join her peers.

“She’s cute…” He watched her go before he looked to Katie as they both stood up.

“Yeah I know you’re not supposed to have favourites but…” Katie sighed “I met her when she was eighteen months old. She’s adorable.” “What’s her story?”

“Her mom died when she was thee months old.” Katie sighed, watching as the kids were organised into a line “There were complications at birth that she never recovered from. Her dad then killed himself a few weeks later. She had no other family who were willing to take her in so she’s been in a home ever since.”

“That’s awful.” Steve frowned.

“Makes me realise just how lucky I was that Tony stepped up and became my guardian after mom and dad died.” Katie glanced at the young girl, the softness in her eyes didn’t go unnoticed by Steve as she spoke again “You know, every year I pray she doesn’t show up here. Not because I don’t want to see her but because it means she’s found a home and a family.” 

Steve smiled gently, looping an arm around her shoulders, the pair of them watching as Tony joined the front of one of the three lines the kids had been organised in and was looking at them all waving his hands.

“You want kids?” Katie asked, looking up at Steve. He took a deep breath and blew it out through his nose “Shit, sorry.” she continued, shaking her head and rubbing her temple. “That’s a bit forward, I didn’t mean…” “I know.” Steve shook his head, understanding. “And yeah, I did, before I joined the army. All I wanted was a family, stability, to hold down a good job. Now, well, things went a bit crazy didn’t they?” “Tell me about it.” Katie chuckled.

“What, errr, what about you?” Steve asked, rubbing at his neck a little awkwardly.

“Eventually, maybe.” She shrugged. Steve glanced down at her, a soft look on his face, but he was distracted as Emmy had returned and she was tugging on the dark material of his Uniform trousers.

“Can you be leader of our group?” She looked up at Steve.

“Woah, what about me Emmy?” Katie playfully frowned, her hands on her hips.

Emmy shot her a grin “You were the leader of my group for the last two years…” “Wow.” Katie smiled “You’re replacing me. Fine, I’m not offended. At all.”

Emmy laughed and Steve’s mouth curled upwards before he looked down at Emmy and nodded. “Alright Ma’am.” He saluted, as Emmy laughed and then slipped her hand into his. “Lead the way.” Katie watched them leave, convinced his super hearing would have just picked up the noise of her ovaries exploding.

*****

Forty Five kids came to the tower and forty five left. No one died, and Steve only had to throw his shield once for a demonstration. All in all the Stark Foundation Christmas Party 2013 was a roaring success.

The residents of the tower spent the next few days they had before Christmas lazing around, watching old Christmas films as Katie introduced Steve to her favourite one, ‘The Muppet Christmas Carol’. They decorated a tree in her apartment, headed through the streets of New York in the dark to see all the various Christmas lights, wrapped presents, spent evenings drinking hot chocolate laced with liquor and before they both knew what had happened, it was Christmas Eve and to Katie’s utter delight (and Tony’s it would seem, as JARVIS informed them dryly that Mr Stark was demanding that they go outside to build snowmen) it was snowing again to top up the already substantial covering on the ground.

Steve hated being cold, a consequence of spending seventy years frozen but the childish excitement written all over Katie’s face was enough to make him brave the snow, and so, at half past two in the afternoon he was stood in Central Park, along with Katie, Pepper and Tony, building snowmen-which Steve was amazingly adept at, something that came as a surprise to Pepper and Tony, but not to Katie considering his artistic nature. Bruce called Tony half way through following the conclusion of whatever seminar he had been in and an hour or so later joined them, and was immediately told to judge the snowmen contest. He declared Steve the winner causing Tony and Katie to pelt the mild mannered Scientist with snowballs until his grown up façade slipped and he joined in, catching Tony with a perfectly placed lump of snow right between the eyes.

The light began to draw in and after purchasing a hot dog each from one of the stands the sounds of carols drifted to their ears so the five of them wandered towards the music. They found a group of singers not far from the Alice In Wonderland statue, each holding lanterns and sheets of music. They looked at one another and joined the crowd as they group began to sing Silent Night. Steve slipped his arms around Katie from behind, pulling her to his bulky, coated frame and she leaned back happily into his embrace.  His cold nose brushed against her cheek near her ear as he stooped to drop a kiss there, causing Katie to laugh out loud as he continued to press his cold face against her neck.

“I haven’t seen a carol service since I was a boy.” He said softly.

She turned her head to look at him, as he looked back, was grinning like a school boy as the snow began to fall again, because, whilst he might hate being cold, he didn’t hate any time spent with his best girl.

She placed a soft kiss on his lips. “Taking you back?”

“A little…” He smiled before she turned back to the band, as his nose nuzzled at her ear “Love you… gram mo chroi…”

The words phonetically registered in her brain, graw miu cree the Irish brogue he had spoken made her shiver.

“Yeah that sounds really sexy and I have no idea what you just said.” She tilted her head back to face him.

“You don’t speak Gaelic?” He teased.

“Italian, German, Spanish and French…but no Gaelic.” She smirked.

“Smart ass…” He rolled his eyes before chuckling slightly, his eyes leaving hers to focus on the singers again. “So what does it mean?” She pressed.

“It means love of my heart, of my life.” “Smooth Rogers.” She grinned, catching his lips again.

The singers finished to a round of applause from the surrounding crowd, including wolf whistles from Tony, and the five of them set off back to the Tower, the streetlights bouncing off the white of the snow. Walking the twenty or so minutes back they all stopped to enjoy hot chocolates laced with lashings of brandy at a small Cafe on the corner of Park and 5th, along with roast chestnuts and mince pies. Katie smiled, remarking that it was about as clichéd a Christmas Eve you could get. And she absolutely loved it.  

Once back at the tower they all said goodnight and headed to their respective floors and apartments. Once Steve and Katie had shed their various outer layers of winter clothing, Katie instructed Jarvis to light the fire before she headed off into the bedroom before walking back out and across the hall to the larger bathroom where Steve heard her turn on the tap to the tub.

“You having a bath?” He called dropping onto the sofa.

“Warming up.” She called back, grinning as she dropped a Christmas Pudding shaped bath-bomb into the tub, watching as it started to fizz, the gorgeous smells of cinnamon hitting her nostrils. Biting her lip she walked to the door of the bathroom and leaned against it calling down the hall. “Wanna join me?”

Steve heard her, and didn’t need asking twice.

He walked into the bathroom to see her drop her robe to the floor, flashing him a view of her bare back, ass, legs before she stepped into the obscenely large tub and he shed his clothes in about five seconds flat, climbing in behind her. She leaned back against him, his arms coming to rest naturally on the sides of the large tub.

“Why…” he began, looking at his skin, “is there glitter all over my arm?” “I used a bath bomb”

“A what?”

“Things you drop in the water alongside or instead of bubble bath and they smell nice. I’ll show you another day.” Katie explained, closing her eyes and leaning back into the warmth of the water, her head laying on his chest, the fingers of her right hand delicately rubbing across his knuckles.

They were silent for a while, Steve’s head lolling against the back of the tub, utterly contented to stay there until the water went cold, when Katie spoke.

"Say it again.” She whispered softly, wanting to hear the words he’d said before.

He quirked a crooked smile. “Say what?”

She chuckled and bit at the corner of her bottom lip and tilted her head round so she could look at him. “The thing you said earlier… say it again.”

He didn’t’ say a word, instead he dropped his head to kiss her neck, lips laying soft kisses along her shoulders. Slowly, his right hand moved from its spot on the tub to stroking her hip, down the outside of her thigh, up again and then across to her abdomen. The subtle brush of his fingertips on her sensitive flesh set off chills of a very different kind to the one’s Katie had been feeling all afternoon in the snow and she let her eyelids fall shut, a small sigh escaping her lips as his mouth trailed a line from her right shoulder across to her left.

"Say it again.” She breathed out but still Steve said nothing. Instead, he moved his hand down her abdomen going lower and lower until he slowly began to tease her.

Katie shuddered, her breath caught again as her head fell backwards. “Say it…” she tried again, the words coming out as a desperate choked plea.

His grinning face pressed to her neck and shoulder as he nipped gently. “Sorry, I’m an old man. I forget what I say sometimes.”

He knew exactly what she was after and Katie knew he did, he was just being a tease and it was driving her wild. So she decided to deploy the big guns. Her hand drifted down to find his, wrapping tightly around his wrist, stilling his touch and she turned to face him, gently straddling him, sitting on his thighs and sending a slosh of water over the side of the tub onto the tiled floor.

"You forgot that I’m the love of your life?” She pouted softly, eyes locking onto his.

“Doll,” Steve shook his head, dropping his forehead to hers. “No one could ever make me forget that. Ever.”

Bingo. Katie felt the smile cross her face as she leaned in to kiss him as her hand reached down into the water and wrapped around his hardening cock causing him to grunt at little as she squeezed her palm around him.

“Then say it.” She demanded, her hand slowly sliding up his shaft and Steve looked at her, his eyes blown with lust.

“You’re such a fucking brat.” He reached up and tangled one hand into her hair, pulling her face down to his, kissing her hard and he muttered against her mouth, “Gram mo Chroi…”

“Fuck, I love you,” Katie huffed out into his open mouth as his hands went down to her waist and he gently pulled her forwards, positioning her before, without warning,  he thrust upwards and she moaned, pushing down onto his lap, water lapping around them as he filled her. “I love you, more than anything.” Katie nipped at his lip and coiled her fingers into his hair, drawing a hiss from his mouth as she moved again, rocking her hips, grinding down on him.

“I love you too.” His ragged breaths snagged on the words as he pressed up into her harder, then harder again, his hands straying to her back, fingers sliding up and down her spine as he pulled her closer to him, kissing her hard before turning his lips to her neck then her chest, the trails of water and soap suds trickled down from between her cleavage to her navel. It made him groan as he looked at her gently rocking on top of him as bucked his hips upwards, meeting her thrust for thrust.

He sat up a little making her purr as he hit her even deeper, as he pulled her close, chest pressed to chest as he kissed her, hands snaking up into the back of her hair which was piled messily on top of her head. Katie moaned into his mouth as he thrust upwards again, and again as she pushed down, rotating her hips against him.  It was slow, deep, loving, the sounds of sloshing water and gentle moans and groans filled the large bathroom as they both clung to one another, as close as they possibly could be. Eventually Katie felt the knot in her stomach beginning to unravel and she threw her head back in a soft cry, Steve’s name tumbling from her lips, before she fell forward, burying her head into the crook of his shoulder and neck as she caught her breath. A few more thrusts and Steve was right behind her, his body sliding down into the tub, head resting against the back, his girl tightly clutched to his chest.

Steve’s hands ran up and down her back as Katie gave a low hum of contentment before pulling back, smoothing his hair back with her hands and smiling softly at him, before she kissed him gently.

“You know,” Steve said gently as she pressed her forehead against his. “This is certainly an improvement on Christmas Eve last year.”

Katie chuckled slightly and closed her eyes. "It’s been the best one I’ve ever had.”

*****

Christmas Morning was one of the few times Katie could remember having woken before Steve. But she was always up at the crack of dawn on Christmas Morning and had been since she was a child. Steve’s arms were wrapped around her, one leg tossed over hers doing his best koala impression as always, head buried into the back of her neck. She shifted, rolling over to face him, causing his grip to loosen slightly and simply watched him, taking in how much younger he looked with his face relaxed and how comfortable and peaceful he was in sleep. She leaned over to gently place a kiss on his cheek just underneath where those ridiculously long eyelashes rested, before she rose, swapping Steve’s T-shirt for a long sleeved pair of Christmas pyjamas adorned with little snowmen and Christmas trees and headed into the living area.

The tree was already lit (God bless Jarvis) as was the garland over the fire place and the lights in the kitchen. Turning on the radio low, she poured some ground Christmas Roast into the machine and set about making pancake batter whilst popping off a cork on a bottle of Krug to use for Mimosas, the breakfast drink of champions

Steve heard her singing. Cracking an eye open he glanced at the clock, it wasn’t even gone Eight yet. He took a moment to stretch before he got out of bed, went to use the bathroom and came out, throwing on a pair of plaid sleep pants over his boxers before he made his way to the kitchen. He stopped dead when he saw her dancing around and had to stifle his laugh as he slipped his arms around her from behind, making her jump slightly.

“Merry Christmas, Sweetheart.” He gruffed, his voice still thick with sleep as she tilted her head round to catch the kiss he was offering.

“Merry Christmas, Soldier.”  

“What are you wearing?” He arched an eyebrow and Katie grined. “It’s the rules…” She turned to look at him. “On Christmas Day, in the Stark house, we all wear Christmas pyjamas and no one gets dressed until well after lunchtime and then we wear Christmas sweaters, eat dinner, lounge around and do absolutely nothing bar stuffing our faces, drinking and watching movies.”

“I don’t have any Christmas Pyjamas…or a sweater.” Steve frowned. “Yeah you do.” Katie informed, putting down the bowl of batter she had been whisking and grabbing his hand. She tugged him back down the hall and into the bedroom, Steve cursing her silently in his brain for as usual thinking of everything. She headed into the large walk in wardrobe and tossed him a Bloomingdale’s carrier bag. He arched an eyebrow as he reached inside pulling out first the sweater, and giving a loud groan as he examined the large reindeer on the front.

“Its nose lights up.” Katie grinned as she pressed it.  At that he let out a snort and shook his head.

“I’m not wearing this.”

“Hey I don’t make the rules.”

“I never was one for rules.” He muttered, now examining the Pyjamas that were green with little red Santa Clauses all over them.

“Bullshit!” Katie laughed and he looked at her, as she fake saluted “Captain America reporting for duty, Sir!”

“Punk.” He shook his head as his lips quirked upwards and he waved the clothes he was holding at her. “They’re awful.”

“They’re supposed to be, that’s the point. Don’t be a Grinch…” “I have no idea what that is.”

“Ok, a Scrooge then…” “I am not dressing like an idiot.” Katie opened her mouth to make a joke about stars, stripes and spandex but he cut her off instantly, spotting the look on her face. Holding up his hand he shook his head. “Just don’t.”

After some cajoling, Katie managed to convince Steve to wear the Pyjamas for the morning. Stockings were opened, Bucks Fizz and Coffee was drunk as they exchanged gifts sitting cross legged on the floor by the fire. But Steve had one last gift for her that he hadn’t wrapped as it wasn’t a Christmas gift really, it was something he’d wanted to give her for a while now but he finally felt the time was right. He took the opportunity to retrieve it from his bag whilst she was dressing after they had eaten breakfast, grabbing the small item in his hand and crossing the room so he was stood in front of her.

“There’s something else I wanted to give you” He spoke, but as he did he found himself unable to stop his eyes from straying down the top half of her body which was clad in nothing but a bra as she pulled on the large sweater. "Huh?” Her voice was muffled as her head emerged from the hole in the sweater and she noticed him watching her. She smirked, sticking her arms through the garment.  “You already did that last night. Several times remember?” “I don’t mean that.” He rolled his eyes as she started laughing before he crossed the room and stood in front of her. Katie watched as he was turning a small, circular leather box of some kind in his hand. “I found this when we were going through my stuff for the museum” he said, gently handing it to her. “I want you to have it.”

She looked down at the worn leather of the dark brown box, before pressing the small button which released the catch on the worn, dark brown leather and she carefully opened the lid. Her eyes widened as she glanced down at the delicate ring inside. The stone was a small, tear drop shaped emerald set into a yellow gold band with 3 small diamonds sat underneath the larger part of the teardrop stone. “It was my mom’s” Steve offered by explanation as she looked up at him, her eyes shining “Dad bought it for her before they left Limerick for New York, something to remind her of home.” “The Emerald Isle…” Katie smiled gently as she looked at the ring, her chest filling with warmth. “It probably isn’t worth much and I know you don’t really wear yellow gold but I was reading up that you could get it coated…” “Steve…” She shook her head as she looked up at him. “I wouldn’t dream of it. It’s beautiful.” And it was. All the more so because it had belonged to his mother. A woman she knew so much about. A woman who raised the wonderful man stood in front of her. A woman she wished with all her heard she could have met.  

“Are you sure you want me to have it?” She blurted out and Steve nodded. “She gave me that specifically to pass to my someone special.” He trailed off as Katie smiled softly, taking the ring out of the box and slipping it onto the ring finger of her right hand. It was a tad loose but nothing that was too drastic to stop her wearing it for the time being. “Thank you.” Her voice cracked slightly as she looked up into his eyes, those baby blues she knew so well were misting over. “And for the record, regardless of what it’s worth or not worth, it means the world to me that you want me to have it. It’s the best Christmas present I’ve ever had”. She gently cupped his cheek in her hand before she leaned up and captured his lips in a soft kiss. “I love you.” She whispered gently as his nose rubbed against hers, their foreheads coming to a rest against one another. “Love you too.” He smiled, before giving her another quick kiss. “Enough to wear the sweater?” She pulled back, her arms snaking round his neck as his hands dropped to her waist. He glanced at the one she was wearing which made her look like a giant Christmas tree and let out a long groan. He really didn’t want to wear the hideous Christmas sweater, but as he looked at her she made those eyes, those goddamned eyes that could get him to do whatever she wanted.

He just couldn’t say no to her. He was whipped, big time. And he knew it. "Fine I’ll wear the sweater." 

**** Chapter 12 Part 2

#stark spangled banner #steve rogers #steve rogers fic #steve rogers x ofc #steve rogers x original female character #Katie Stark #mcu #mcu fanfic #steve rogers smut #chris evans #chris evans characters

[dear-yandere]

—ask collection!

a collection of mostly very old chats and sweet asks that i never got around to answering! thanks for the patience and love!! 

beware, fairly long post... woops....

chat asks.

darling: Eu-jin is best boy. Change my mind.

vanya: i am physically incapable of fulfilling that request, how dare you do that to me... i’m biased since he’s my own oc, but i would die for my (very best) boy eu-jin... who can resist such a gentle yandere that loves you so whole-heartedly?

that reminds me! he’s actually based off of kuroyuki and gekkamaru from the otome nightshade, so if you want similar characters by any chance, do check them and the game out ♡

darling: I was watching the dub for Part 5 of JoJo's Bizarre adventure yesterday...Mista called himself Daddy and I like- sdfghjfgsdhnhnmj!! My heart can't take this--

vanya: WAIT HE DID???? i’m not even big on daddy kink and reading that made me go 😳 this is vital information to know... what episode was this??? for research purposes, of course. gotta perfect my yan! mista, after all~...

darling: for yandere songs, have you heard of the major to minor covers by chase holfelder :O? the way he delivers the lyrics in some songs (betty, all i want for christmas), added with the key changes to minor, is really fantastic, and gives a stalker-ish vibe imo! and he's a really good singer in general

vanya: i have!! a good chunk of them are actually on my personal yandere playlist, so i end up hearing them frequently when i’m writing!! i haven’t been keeping up with his uploads recently, so ‘betty’ is completely new to me and just, wow???????????? this man is an absolute god send for us “romantic” horror fans... ♡

this ask gave me such a lovely idea, though, darling: assigning yandere types/mbti based off each of chase’s minor key covers. i think i’ll do that just for you. ♡

darling @blossomiich​: I reread some of your old character interaction asks and saw the one with Jotaro hugging his Darling after a panic attack and the elephant seal plush reminded me of the iconic C H O N K Y ringed seal plushie that was kinda trending and I can totally imagine Jotaro having one of those >w< that's so adorable!

vanya: i honestly don’t remember that interaction, but then again i don’t remember most things hmghng so i looked it up and

j...just imagine star plat hogging it and not letting joot cuddle with it 🥺 the duality of man...thank you for this cute image...

darling: Umm, sorry for asking this. I'm just curious because of your bio language in your header. Are you Chinese too, perhaps?

vanya: no worries!! i’m mixed guyanese (indian, chinese, & possibly black and/or portuguese), but my family only celebrates (or rather, acknowledges?) our indian descent, since the majority of our family is predominantly east indian. 

my header is actually a quote from a danmei novel (and one of my all-time favorite fandoms), tiān guān cì fú (heaven’s official blessing)!

darling genki stan anon: Omg you're writing for free now, i didn't expect that one lol. It's a cute show innit? Not a nagi stan but I feel like nagisa has that kinda unsnapped personality that would make him peak delusional yandere material lolol like oikawa but less threatening and without his head being up his own ass 😂. Hope you're doing well!! -gsa

Gdjsjs im such a fool, i think my last ask said something about not thinking you'd write for free when i literally just pointed out kisumi on your sideblog LMAO my bad 😅 😂 also ill hold back on the gen chan requests because ive already asked so many in the past! Thank you though 🥺. Also feel free not to post this, it can just dip into my onesided chats with my lil flower 💐 so long as you receive them im fine 😌 -genki stan anon

vanya: nagisa isn’t my favorite (kisumi is), but gods if he wouldn’t make a great yandere. honestly, out of the iwatobi boys, nagi is probably the most unhinged. i wouldn’t peg him as delusional, at least not at first; i think he’s very lucid and knows exactly what he wants and how to manipulate people in order to get it!!! kisumi is fairly similar now that i think about it... i might... have a type...

please feel free to send in gen-chan requests whenever you want!!!! i’m kinda super asocial, so it’ll take me a while to answer, but i love getting asks from you since you’re so sweet and excitable!!! your little flower reads and cherishes them all!! 🥺

also darling genki stan anon: Sorry for spamming you with asks hdjkdks, u dont even need to reply im just kinda brain empty venting here whether you recieve them or not 😂 i just needed to confess that while yes i am #1 gen simp, and he is undoubtedly my fave oc of yours but that Ilya tentacle smut had me very much so highkey kinda 👀, had to re read the genki oral style drabble to bring my head back. He dont even need to worry about luca bc that man a thot. I think therin is a thot too but like lowkey, a classy thót -gsa

vanya: omg i’ve kept this one for forever mnmghngh i might’ve even answered at some other point, now that i think about it... but i just 🥺 gosh i hope i find my muse soon, because i really wanna write you a genki fic 🥺 hhhh

the ilya tentacle smut was so in character for that boy... i have no clue how to write monsters, much less tentacles, but i’d honestly do anything for him 🙏 kinky russian boy...

therin is definitely a classy thot, the kind that only bangs the finest concubines then turns around and slut shames you for banging the very same prostitutes gbfmngnfg rules don’t apply to him, in his kingdom...wish that were me tbh ✊😔

sweet asks.

darling one: i've read almost all of your dazai and chuuya fics and i love them so much!! your formatting is also super aesthetic just a question, i saw on your kofi that you also draw so i was wondering if you drew all the header arts?? bc they're all super pretty :) have a great day!

darling two: Just wanted to say love the writing and the way your format your posts is so aesthetically pleasing. One day I hope my posts looks half as good as yours because I legit can't get over how pretty and organized it looks.

vanya: omg thank you so much!!!! one of my bffs, yue, is to thank for the formatting and aesthetic choices, really! if you wanna see more of her aesthetic formats and posts, she actually runs a few blogs! you may know her as @milkscafe​, formally @milkaaton! i adore her and her aes choices so much 🥺

as for the headers, i don’t draw 99.98% of them! i have drawn a couple, but they’re so few and far in between since i almost never finish my art wips haha... my older posts are lacking proper credits because i’m an absolute idiot, but i’m slowly working my way backwards to credit them all where possible! they’re all indeed super pretty!!!

have a great day yourself, my love!!

darling: THEY’RE NOT BAD CONTENT, I LOVE THEM ALL

vanya: this was in response to a now-deleted lil blurb but i kept it in my inbox because i wanted to say i love u very much and seeing this ask each time i open my inbox makes my heart skip a beat ♡

darling: Listen I love your writing, you inspired me to start it myself! I've always loved to write, and read of course but your style and concepts just stick with me. If you where to write something besides Yandere content/fandom content and started your own series? I would read the shit, out of it. I'm always nervous to interact with my favorite writers because you know, I'm afraid of the impression I'd leave but I just wanted to say this anyway! 💞💞💞🔫😳

vanya: wowowow fgfnmgnfmngfg that’s such a high compliment my brain just gmfnbgmnf go boom fogjfngnfg and thank you for the interaction, us writers truly appreciate it no matter how awkward or nervous you think you may be / come off!!!

darling one: As a writer, your post struck a nerve with me. I don’t send feedback to writers I like nearly as much as I should (and certainly not as much as I’d like in return as a writer). So, as such, I’m going to start doing that when I can, starting with you.

You are an incredible writer. You were one of the first yandere writing blogs I found and you’re still one I check in on regularly to see what you have been working on. You can portray a sense of suspense and intrigue in a natural way that many other writers - published ones included - struggle with. You delve into the darkness without it feeling forced, and you have an amazing grasp on the psyches of the characters you write for (which is a quality I adore in writing and strive toward myself).

I’m not great at ending these things so I guess.. you keep doing you? Because the you is great and I appreciate it.

darling two:  hey. i'm here to tell you that from the bottom of my heart i love you and your writings. i really admire your writing skills. you inspire me. one of your posts once saved me from a nervous breakdown. thank you for everything you do. you're a wonderful person. good luck!

darling three: I wanted to tell you that thank you for writing such wonderful beautiful writings and that you take time to edit and write I hope you are taking care of yourself 💖❤

darling four: Thanks. I was having a hard time and deleted all my apps, but as soon as i opened my phone my first instinct was to look at your blog and i got my motivation back. Thanks (:

darling five: Hi ! I just wanted to say I really enjoy the stories you write and how they are detailed so well ! Stay safe and I hope you have a good day/night ! ლ(╹◡╹ლ)

vanya: ahhhh, these are very old asks mostly dating back to my “tumblr writing community is dying” post, and i’ve kept them this entire time because i’m just so starstruck. i have no clue how to reply to compliments, so i’m not sure what else to say besides that these asks made me very happy and got me through a few insecure moments!!! i’ve actually been feeling a little down about my writing recently, mostly because of lack of motivation / inspiration, so revisiting these really warmed my heart, so thank you truly ♡ i’m certainly keeping the originals in my inbox until the end of time!!

darling @monstrously-obsessed: psst, this local cryptic mom thing send all of their love for you 💕

vanya: your local herbo says she loves you very much momster 🥺 mwah

also, to the anon worried about my safety:

thank you so much for pointing that out!!! it hadn’t even crossed my mind when i made those ocs, so i appreciate your concern! i was contemplating revamping those two as is, so this is a great place to start! thank you again!!

#asks collection #not a fic #vanya rambles #[ vanya LITERALLY rambles ] #[ life's hard when you're this asocial i swear fgmnfgnmfg ] #[ now to answer concept asks ]

[jeogiyall]

𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐅𝐢𝐯𝐞; 𝒎.𝒕𝒍

✪︎︎ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 𝟷𝟶.𝟺𝟺𝚔 (𝚜𝚑𝚎’𝚜 𝚊 𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚕𝚘𝚕)

✪ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: 𝖿𝗅𝗎𝖿𝖿, 𝗌𝗅𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗌𝗍, 𝗆𝗎𝗌𝗂𝖼𝖺𝗅 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗋𝖾! 𝖺��; 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘅 𝗺𝗼𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗮𝗲𝗶𝗹 <3

✪︎︎ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: 𝗌𝗅𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝖼𝗎𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀, 𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌 𝖺 𝖽𝖾𝖺𝖽 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝖾𝗇𝗍, 𝗅𝖾𝗌 𝗆𝗂𝗌𝖾𝗋𝖺𝖻𝗅𝖾𝗌 𝗌𝗉𝗈𝗂𝗅𝖾𝗋𝗌 (𝗂𝖿 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖼𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝖺𝖻𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍)

✪︎︎ᴀᴅᴅɪᴛɪᴏɴᴀʟ: 𝗅𝖾𝗌 𝗆𝗂𝗌! 𝖺𝗎, 𝗌𝗅𝗈𝗐 𝖻𝗎𝗋𝗇 𝗋𝗈𝗆𝖺𝗇𝖼𝖾, 𝖻𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽𝗌! 𝗁𝖺𝖾𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗇 + 𝗃𝖺𝖾𝗁𝗒𝗎𝗇, 𝖿𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗎𝗋𝖾𝖽 𝗅𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌, 𝗐𝗂𝗇𝗐𝗂𝗇, 𝗑𝗂𝖺𝗈𝗃𝗎𝗇, 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗁𝖾𝗇𝖽𝖾𝗋𝗒 𝖺𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗋𝖾 𝗄𝗂𝖽𝗌.

✪︎︎ᴀ/ɴ: 𝖺𝗌 𝖺 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗋𝖾 𝗄𝗂𝖽 𝗐𝗁𝗈 𝗂𝗌 𝖽𝖾𝗌𝗉𝖾𝗋𝖺𝗍𝖾𝗅𝗒 𝗆𝗂𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗂𝗍, 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗌𝗈 𝗌𝗈 𝖿𝗎𝗇 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗆𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝗐𝗋𝗂𝗍𝖾!! 𝗂'𝗏𝖾 𝗂𝗇𝖼𝗅𝗎𝖽𝖾𝖽 𝖺 𝗌𝗆𝖺𝗅𝗅 "𝗀𝗅𝗈𝗌𝗌𝖺𝗋𝗒" 𝗈𝖿 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗆𝗌 𝗎𝗌𝖾𝖽 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋𝗌 𝗐𝗁𝗈 𝖺𝗋𝖾𝗇'𝗍 𝖿𝖺𝗆𝗂𝗅𝗂𝖺𝗋 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗀𝖾. 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖽𝗈𝗇'𝗍 𝗇𝖾𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝗄𝗇𝗈𝗐 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗉𝗅𝗈𝗍 𝗈𝖿 𝗹𝗲𝘀 𝗺𝗶𝘀 𝗍𝗈 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌, 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖼𝖺𝗇 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽 𝖺 𝗌𝗁𝗈𝗋𝗍 𝗌𝗒𝗇𝗈𝗉𝗌𝗂𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝗂𝗍 here, 𝗍𝗁𝗈𝗎𝗀𝗁 𝗂𝗍 𝗂𝗌𝗇'𝗍 𝗇𝖾𝖼𝖾𝗌𝗌𝖺𝗋𝗒. 𝗂 𝗁𝗈𝗉𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖾𝗇𝗃𝗈𝗒!! -𝐚𝐝𝐦𝐢𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝

Theatre Glossary

Callbacks: Second step of the audition process, almost like a second audition but you focus on a certain character

Blocking: Movement and positioning of actors on stage during a performance

Dance Captain: An actor in the show (typically ensemble) that helps with anything dance related. Can help choreograph some numbers, usually runs dance rehearsals

Stage Manager: A crew member who is in charge of crew as well as everything backstage during a show. Whatever they say is a direct extension of the director

Stage Door: A door where the actors, crew, and staff can enter and exit the theatre

Tech Week: The week leading up to opening where the cast and crew do the full show each day in full costumes and makeup. It is extremely physically and mentally challenging and you can often end up at the theatre for 6+ hours

“Thank You Five”: Whenever the stage manager gives a direction back stage, actors should reply with “Thank you (direction given.)” This is to let the stage manager know that you heard their direction

Mic Check: Before the show each actor that uses a microphone will get the levels and placement on them checked

Notes: After a performance or rehearsal the director will give commentary (critiques or praises) to the actors

—

Ever since you were a little girl, bouncing in the velvet seats of your city’s theater while watching Les Miserables, it was your dream to play Cosette. From the lilting notes of ‘In My Life’ to her character that leapt from the countless pages of the book, the character (and show) took over your brain. It was a genuine miracle that your parents hadn’t hidden your copy of the cast recording, or that your best friend (Lee Donghyuck) didn’t duct tape your mouth when you’d go to his house after voice lessons and force him to listen to you sing ‘Castle on A Cloud’ with countless different interpretations. 

After years of being obsessed with the show, you felt that it was a sign when your youth theatre announced the summer musical. An email with Les Miserables in huge red, white, and blue letters. It was challenging to not get your hopes up, even throughout callbacks. Even as the director tested different boys and kept you on to read for Cosette, you forced yourself to swallow the thoughts of ‘It’s me!’. When the cast list was finally posted you had to force your hands to quit shaking... Then made Haechan open it because your will didn’t work.

”Why are you even nervous, you know you got the part.” He grumbled, fishing through his pants pocket and trying not to throw up.

“The same reason you’re nervous, now open the damn list” 

“I’m going as fast as I can!” If it weren’t for his panic, you’re sure he would’ve slapped you, “Okay, I have it.”

“Give it to me straight, Doc.” He rolled his eyes and scrolled, undoubtedly skipping past a lengthy message from your director.

“You are such a dork,” It was easy to tell how nervous he was, so you bit the side of your cheek and allowed him to read, “okay. Xiaojun is Valjean, Jaehyun is Javert..” You nod with your jaw clenched, twiddling your hands where they sit in your lap.

“That’s good, they’ll be good in that.” He nodded in agreement, swallowing hard.

“Yea, they will. Lucas is Thenardier, that’ll be funny.” It was becoming increasingly harder to speak, so you hummed an answer and hoped that he understood what you’re trying to say, “Oh no!” he groaned, causing your heartbeat to falter in it’s place.

“What?!”

“The girl who got Cosette! She’s so annoying, but also really talented. As well as hardworking, and she’s wanted to play this role for forever, and-” Realization slowly sunk into the lines of your face as you slapped your best friends arm.

“Shut up!” He started laughing, something huge and sparkly forming in the space between your bodies.

“She’s also my best friend, so...” It was impossible to not hug someone in that moment, so you threw your arms around Hyuck’s shoulders and hoped that he didn’t notice the shake of your shoulders, “Are you crying?” 

“No...” You had sobbed into his shoulder while fat tears were fall onto his cotton t-shirt, “A little bit.” He laughed, a sound that’s familiar and comforting and wraps you up like a blanket.

“I’m proud of you.” Hyuck breathed, squeezing your body tightly.

“Thank you, me too.” The smile when you pulled away was beaming, soaring as high as your full heart.

*

Playing Cosette was everything you’d ever dreamed, except for two tiny things. For starters, there was the wig. Of course you knew that you’d have to wear a wig, almost everyone who plays Cosette has to wear a wig. You just weren’t expecting yours to be so... Ugly. 

It was a nearly five pound mop of thick blonde curls, that would spend every single rehearsal tickling the back of your neck. It didn’t help that you were still a little confused on how to put it on, which caused the terrifying object to slip and slide around constantly. Pretty much at any chance it could get. The first time Xiaojun saw it happen he laughed so hard that he cried.

(”Xaiojun!” You had whined, trying desperately to straighten the blonde rat tail on your head.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry I was just trying t-to sing at you a-and your wig-” 

Needless to say, the most that came out of that rehearsal were some cursed images of your wig mishaps and one scene being blocked.)

The second, and much more pressing, issue was your love interest. Moon Taeil was a newcomer to your theatre company, but no one was shocked when he got Marius. His voice is technically perfect, you and Xiaojun had analyzed every note of his audition while waiting for the cast list. There was not a single flaw, then when you factored in his emotion... Any director would be lucky to have him in a show.

Based just on his callback, you figured working with him would be a dream. It was for the most part; he came in already memorized every single rehearsal and his voice was just immaculate. His chemistry was stunning... With every one else.

Maybe it’s because you’re spoiled with your lists of love interests, which consists entirely of your closest friends, but you just could not get used to Taeil. It was clear he felt the same way, causing all of your blocked scenes to be stiff as a board. 

(”He’s not like that with Donghyuck! Why is Marius more in love with Enjorlas than Cosette?!” You lamented during an after rehearsal Sheetz run. Donghyuck had rolled his eyes while snatching Sichengs milkshake out of his hands.

“Hyuck, I have literally never hated a person more-” 

“Stop whining, we’re talking about (y/n)!” He quipped, passing the drink back to your peeved dance captain, “It’s probably because he doesn’t have to kiss me, which is a real shame for him.” 

“But he also kisses Emily, and they seem fine.” Jaehyun commented while taking his seat next to you. His addition caused you to groan, head sinking into your hands.

“Why can’t I act with my Marius! It’s so awkward and I can’t even get to know him! He just shows up, does the work, and leaves. Which is fine, whatever, but really? That’s it? No Sheetz afterwards? No McDonald’s? Not even a bag of chips from the vending machine outside the auditorium?! How am I supposed to get to know him when he’s just in and out like a ghost, are we even sure that he’s real?!” You’re breathing has turned heavy while your hands are gripping your wig cap braids almost violently, “Also my wig is so ugly and I don’t know how to put it on!”

“What’s wrong with (y/n)?” Lucas whispered, popping a chip into his mouth and chewing slowly while waiting for someone to answer his question.

“She’s having a mental breakdown for no reason.” Sicheng answered, snatching his milkshake back from Jaehyun. You were so busy ranting that you didn’t even notice the theft.

“It’s not for no reason!” You snapped, chin catching on the straw of your drink.

“(Y/n)?” Donghyuck began, eyes wide and sincere, “Shut up and drink your slushie.”) 

The scenes were so flat, in fact, that you and Taeil were called for a characterization meeting. Alone. If you thought you and Taeil were awkward on stage, sitting on the leather couches of the green room while waiting to talk about how awful you were together was much worse. Plastering on a smile when your director entered was physically challenging. 

“Okay!” She started, dropping files onto the cofee table in front of you, “For the record, you are both doing great. I mean really, love love love the effort. Taeil, you and Donghyuck are just hilarious, and (y/n) and Xiaojun almost made me cry the other day!” 

“Thank you!” You both answer simultaneously, Taeil nodding his head while twiddling his thumbs.

“Of course, that being said there are some issues regarding chemistry.” A shiver runs up your perfectly straightened spine, “I just remember at call backs you two were mind blowing together, like seriously. Those voices were made to sing with each other, and your characters were just what I wanted. A true directors dream, so what happened to that?” Your eyes flick to Taeil, internally begging him to speak first. It almost looks like he’s going to, but the words die on his lips, “I know it’s awkward to talk about, but we need to be open if we’re going to make this work.” You look at your Marius one more time, willing him to speak.

“Personally, I think it’s challenging for me because all of the boys who have previously played my love interests were really close friends. Like Jaehyun, I’ve known him since we were in diapers so it wasn’t... Weird, for either of us.” You turn to Taeil, who’s shifting uncomfortably in his seat, “It’s not that I don’t like you or anything, I do! You’re very talented; I just don’t know you, y’know?” From a force of habit, your eyes flick to your director. She’s nodding, ink pen tapping the tip of her nose. 

“Okay, Taeil?” She prods after a silence that takes forever. The boy fidgets, one hand coming up to scratch the nape of his neck. For one brief moment you notice how beautiful he is, with his sharp jawline cutting perfectly against his soft cheeks and high cheekbones. His eyes glisten while he thinks, then they flick to you. It makes everything feel red.

“Um, I agree... You’re really sweet, and funny, I just don’t know you. Or anyone, really.” The warmth on your skin dissipates and is replaced with a heavy swirling in your gut. Is it always going to be this hard to make him talk to you?

“Okay,” Your director starts, dropping her pen to the table, “so it sounds like for (y/n) to be more comfortable you have to get to know each other, and for Taeil to be more comfortable you need to get used to the environment; nod if I’m right.” Taeil looks at you with the same expression of a deer in headlights, but you’re used to this form of communication. He watches as you nod, then follows timidly, “Alright, I have an assignment. I want you two to go on a date.” 

Let’s just say, if you thought your ego wasn’t damaged by having to do this meeting it was definitely damaged by Taeil’s incredulous sputtering.

“Excuse me?” He asked, cheeks flushing beet red. You bit off the hangnail on your thumb, stomach churning again.  

“I don’t think she means a real date.” You muttered, embarrassment threatening your cheeks. 

“You’re right, (y/n), I don’t. I just mean that I need you two to go out somewhere, sit down, and get to know each other. Not as Marius and Cosette, but as Taeil and (y/n), okay?” You nod eagerly despite the redness flushing your face, because you’re a directors pet first. Taeil is a little (read: a lot) more reserved.

“Okay, we can go after next weeks act one vocal run through?” You suggest. He smiles, it’s the same one he uses while acting. 

“Yea, I’ll drive.” You want to tell him that he doesn’t have to look so scared about it. It’s not like you bite.

“Perfect!” Your director sighs, clapping her hands while popping up from her chair, “It’s a date.”

You wish her words sounded less like a threat.

*

There were few things worse than choreography rehearsals. One thing was choreography rehearsals lead by Dong Sicheng. Especially when they happened on Haechan’s (more commonly known as your ride) sick day. Even worse? Having to wear a blonde rat tail on your head.

“I’m really sorry (y/n), I just can’t even-” His words were cut off by the sound of him retching, you prayed that it was into a toilet, “Yea. That.” You chewed anxiously on your thumb nail, eyes tracking to the slowly dwindling parking lot.

“Don’t even worry about it, I’ll bring by some soup tonight.” You could hear his mom ushering him back into his bed, “Okay?” 

“Sounds good.” He groans out, making an ‘oomf’ sound as he drops into his bed, “I gotta go before I get something gross on my phone. Love you.” 

“Love you too, bye bye!” As you dropped your phone back into the rehearsal bag slung across your shoulder rain started to drizzle outside. It wasn’t a long walk from the theater to your house, and if you ran there was a small chance of actually getting wet (you had learned this with Donghyuck and Jaehyun back in middle school, after many unfortunate weather days.) You could always wait until the stage crew is done and see if one of your friends was on today, but the rain was already turning from drizzle to downpour. Besides, it felt wrong to talk to someone just because you needed a ride; running would be perfectly fine. 

“Who were you talking to?” A voice asked. You yelped, whipping around to see black hair and soft cheeks.

“Oh, Taeil!” Your voice comes out so fake that it makes you cringe, “It was just Donghyuck, he’s sick so I’m here. Why are you still here?” He shoves his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants, eyeing the rain where it falls behind you.

“I was talking with Henderey. He’s stage manager, do you know him?” Slight irritation itches the back of your neck. 

“Of course.” He swallows roughly, hands briefly coming out of his pockets to brush through his hair.

“Oh, well our dads are friends. So...” Silence settles awkwardly in the room, so thick that you could spread it on toast, “So if Donghyck’s not here how are you getting home? Doesn’t he usually take you?” A sigh escapes your lip as you turn around again, noticing the rain that’s beginning to come down in sheets. 

“He does, I think I’m just gonna... Walk?” Taeil’s face twisted, jaw going slack while his eyebrows furrowed. 

“Y-you know I can’t let you do that, right?” A small laugh bubbles in your throat as you suddenly understand why he’s the perfect fit for Marius. The only word that can be used to describe Taeil in this moment (other than awkward) would be pretty. His lips are puffy and twisted with concern, soft cheeks pulling downwards with a frown. He’s pure lover boy material, which makes you even more frustrated that you can’t act with him.

“It’s fine, you clearly don’t want to be around me. Or go out with me, and if I run-”

“Hold on,” he interrupts, taking a step closer to you, “who said that?” a blush rises all the up to your ears, you almost move to cover them.

“Well, you didn’t say it but-”

“ME?!” His eyebrows are raised, they’re so perfect that you wonder if he’s ever had them done.

“Yes! Last week, you all but spat on yourself at the idea of going out with me. I mean you don’t have to get married to me or anything, but seriously? Is it that revolting?” His cheeks are the color of the daylilies that bloom in your front yard. Running in the rain doesn’t sound too bad at this point.

“I didn’t mean- it wasn’t like th- I just don’t know you!” For some reason those five words are what make the pot in your brain boil over.

“I don’t know you either! You aren’t the only uncomfortable one!” His expression is softening, it makes you want to scream... Or cry, “I don’t know you, anything about you! I try to joke around backstage, ask about your favorite shows, I even gave you permission to make fun of my wig! I won’t even let Donghyuck do that! You literally just won’t talk to me, so it’s safe to assume you don’t like me very much. Which is whatever, that’s all up to you, but you have to work with me! Which means you have to not, oh I don’t know, spit on yourself when the director says we have to do something together!” The expression of concern on Taeil’s face had twisted into one of sadness. It was unbelievable to you that he was sad, you were the offended one! With a frustrated sigh, you turn to the glass doors and brace yourself for the rain.

“Wait!” He calls out. You turn back around to see that he’s taken a step closer to you, one arm outreached as if he wants to touch you. Something flips in your stomach, “I’m really sorry. And I promise it’s not like that, I do like you.”

“Sure have a funny way of showing it.” You mumble, arms folding across your chest. He froze for a moment, lips forming a straight line on his face.

“I know, I’m sorry. Let me drive you home and make it up to you?” You’re about to say no when thunder booms outside, “I’ll even pull up and get you.”

“Does your car have seat warmers?” A smile starts cracking at the corner of his lips, you can’t tell if it’s endearing or infuriating.

“Yes.” 

“Okay, fine. I’m still upset though!” The smile finally spreads, it looks like sun rolling over hills. He nods and moves past you.

“Noted.”

* 

The moment you decided that Taeil was okay (probably more than that) was when you were sitting in his mom van underneath the cover of a Kangaroo gas station while listening to your musical theatre playlist. He was eating sour patch kids and sipping on a mountain dew while laughing at your answers to ‘twenty’ questions (twenty in quotations because in reality the two of you had far surpassed that number. It had been almost an hour of asking questions back and forth while chewing on gummy candy.)

“Okay... What’s the best role you’ve had?” You ask, stomach fluttering at the way his face lights up.

“Other than Marius,” He playfully sticks his tongue out at you, causing a giggle to bubble in your throat, “Tulsa in Gypsy. That was super fun.” 

“You can tap?” You ask, shooting up out of your seat. He chuckles, stealing a gummy worm from the bag in your lap.

“Is that your question or...” 

“No! Don’t count that; and stop taking my worms!” He laughs again as you protectively cradle the colorful bag.

“What’s your best role? And yes, I can tap.” You mull it over for a second, sucking on the red and blue candy in your mouth.

“Probably Sarah Brown in Guys and Dolls, that was really fun. I got to do it with Jaehyun, too, so that was nice. My turn?” He nods while taking a long sip from his green can, “Okay, what’s your favorite musical?” 

“Oklahoma.” He answers definitely. It makes you want to gag.

“Why?!” He answers with a ‘tsk’ sound, wagging an index finger towards you.

“It’s not your turn anymore.” He shoves a clump of blue sour patch kids into his mouth before continuing, “What do you think is the best movie musical?” 

“Easy, Mama Mia. And swallow before you talk.” He smiles, poking one blue blob in between his teeth, “Why Oklahoma?” He sighs, plopping back into the drivers seat. 

“It was my moms favorite.” His voice has taken on a softer tone, it makes you want to turn down the music.

“Permission to pry?” He looks towards you with glassy eyes, then nods, “Was?” 

“Yea.” He breathes out, head tilting backwards. The motion exposes the elegant lines of his throat (it takes everything in you to not stare,) “Was, she passed when I was nine. Stomach cancer. I started theatre pretty soon after that.” Your heart softens at his words.

“I’m sorry, I had no idea.” He locks eyes with you and grins.

“Don’t you dare go and forgive me because I have a dead mom!” The strict words make you bust out in laughter,doubling over so quickly that you almost push his drink out of the cup holder. He chuckles too, pushing playfully at your shoulder, “Come on, sit up.”

“That isn’t why I’m forgiving you.” You answer through laughter, placing a hand on his arm, “I’m forgiving you because you’re actually really funny, and kind, and... You’re like a pomegranate person. They seem so ‘meh’ on the outside, then you have to work really really hard to open it up, but once you do it’s worth all of it.” 

“Thank you, I think?” He chuckles, putting his free hand on top of yours, “Did you just call me ugly?” The laugh that comes out of you is so aggressive that it could be classified as a snort. It makes your gut clench.

“No!” You gasp, running one hand across your face, “I was saying that... I’m glad you forced me to let you take me home.” He gives you a soft smile, your ears turn pink.

“Yea, I am too.”

*

Being part of a theatre company in a small town resulted in two things; a lack of crew and strange traditions. The lack of crew was a direct cause of the lack of people auditioning, but after ten years that was proving to be less of a problem. However, the traditions (thankfully) had still yet to die out. There were countless examples, but amongst your favorite was the pajama sing through. 

It started in the very first show, ‘The Little Mermaid’ (you were participating at a ripe eight years old, in the groundbreaking role of ‘Clown fish’.) The girl playing Ariel decided that a pajama party would be fun, someone even brought a waffle maker. You remembered sitting next to Donghyuck in matching onesies and sharing a waffle with whipped cream and strawberries, and so the tradition was born.

(He had laughed his butt off when you got into the car that morning.

“You look ridiculous, it’s perfect!” You wanted to slap him, but in a caring way. On one hand, he made you wear a Mike Wazowski onesie. On the other, you wouldn’t want anyone else to be your Sully.

“Shut up and drive! Also, are you feeling better?” He chuckled again, punching your shoulder the way an older brother would.

“Much, it was just food poisoning. Let’s go!”)

Everyone cheered when you and Hyuck entered the green room with a rusty waffle maker and fresh strawberries. It was a heartwarming sight, thirty kids all sitting on the floor of a shabby room with neon green walls dressed in over the top fuzzy pajamas.

“Where’s the waffles?” Jaehyun called out from across the room. He wore a black cotton shirt with fuzzy plaid pants, an outfit that fondly reminded you of your middle school sleepovers.

“Will you get your bag off the counter please?” He stuck his tongue out at you, slinging the leather satchel over his shoulder. You smiled sweetly at him then immediately got to work setting the machine up, “Sicheng should be here soon with the batter.” 

“Um, why are we all in pajamas?” A voice asked from the door, one that you quickly recognized to be Taeil. He was in a white t-shirt tucked into a well fitted pair of jean shorts. all tied together with a brown leather belt.

“Did no one tell him?” Jaehyun whispers, the room falling quiet. Everyone’s staring at him, it almost makes you embarrassed.

“Um, we always wear pajamas to sing through’s. I guess no one told you, but don’t worry! I brought extras!” You walk towards the door, grabbing his arm as you pass by, “Did Hendery really not tell you?” 

“Guess not, it’s weird to have everyone stare at you for not going out in pajamas.” His face when he makes a joke is so pure, particularly the way he softly laughs to himself. You make a point to laugh as well. 

“Yea, it’s a tradition that we started at the first sing through. It’s always fun, kind of like a movie night. We’re parked this way.” You pull him towards the stage door.

“Aren’t we supposed to not use this door?” You scoff and push it open.

“No one follows that rule, also the pj’s are Hyuck’s. They should fit fine, if anything just a little long-”

“Okay you can call me annoying, or rude, or say that I have the personality of a door knob. But if you start calling me short I won’t hesitate to dropkick you.” A laugh escapes your mouth, coming out bubbly and kind. Like something you’d share with a friend.

“Relax! I wasn’t calling you... The s-word. I was just saying, Hyuck is a little bit tall-” He slaps your shoulder as you move towards your friends silver car.

“Not another word!” He punctuates each word with a short slap to your bicep, it makes you giggle.

“Okay, okay! I call mercy!” You laugh out while retrieving the fuzzy pajamas from Hyuck’s car, “Here you are, one pair of pj’s!” When you turn around to hand them off he’s standing just a little bit closer than before, you can almost feel his breath.

“Thank you,” He sighs, taking the fuzzy green pants and white hoodie into his hands, “I guess we’re not going to a restaurant after this?” You laugh again, softly pushing his shoulder.

“Are you trying to say my Mike Wazowski onesie isn’t good enough for the public?” He gasps and clenches his chest, perfect eyebrows furrowing.

“(Y/n)! I would nev-” He’s interrupted by the stage door swinging open, Donghyuck poking his head out ever so slightly.

“(Y/n)!  Waffles!” You smile widely, like a little kid on Christmas morning. You slam the car door behind you shut and begin moving towards the door.

“Coming!” You sing in response, turning back to motion at Taeil, “Come on, there’s waffles!” You see him smile, something about it looks reserved.

(What you don’t see is the longing glances he cast to you throughout rehearsal, the clench in his gut as you feed Donghyuck the piece of strawberry that had fallen onto his Sully onesie. You don’t see his eyes cast downwards as you nestle into Donghyuck’s side and stay there for the rest of the sing through.)

*

It turns out Taeil’s plans consisted of eating Taco Bell in the trunk of his mom van while listening to the Mamma Mia cast album. You passed around questions and laughs while stuffing your faces with burritos and chips that were too greasy. 

“You really don’t think I would play Harry?” He asks through a mouthful of burrito. 

“No, you’re definitely a Sky. Also, swallow before you speak!” He laughs, threatening to fling a piece of lettuce at you, “Don’t you dare!”

“I won’t. You’d probably be Sophie.” You flash him a bright smile, doing an over exaggerated hair flip.

“I think so too.” He rolls his eyes, the sunlight spilling from his car windows highlight a honey colored undertone in his pupils. A part of you wishes you could bottle up this moment and keep it forever, “Permission to pry?”

“Is it about my mom?” He asks knowingly. You nod meekly as he smiles a gentle smile, “Go ahead.”

“Yesterday, when you said that you started theatre soon after your mom passing, was... I don’t know, was there a reason for that?” The words coming out of our mouth feel heavy, threatening to shatter the bubble. You had never worried about shattering a bubble before, but something about the memory of Taeil’s glassy eyes from yesterday makes your stomach clench.

“She was an actress. A really good one too, there’s tons of pictures and stuff. We actually have one cast recording from when she was off Broadway, but I can’t listen to it anymore.” He takes a deep breath, tilting his head back again. You’re starting to think that’s a habit when he talks about his mom, “I did Suessical right after she passed because I wanted to... I don’t know, feel closer to her? I stayed because of the whole family thing, since my family had actually fallen apart. Like, unraveled. Then I found out I was kind of good at it, so here we are.” It’s tempting to reach out and grab his hand, so you do. Your eyes lock as you offer up a gentle smile.

“That’s sweet, I’m sure she’s really proud of you.” He smiles back and breathes out. One strand of black hair swoops over his eyes, you think that he looks like a love story.

“She was a lot like you, actually.” You cock an eyebrow, eliciting a breathy laugh from the sweet boy, “I’m serious! She was so sweet, and funny, and like... Stubborn, but in a quiet kind of way.” Warmth blossoms in your chest.

“I’m glad you think of me that way, does that have anything to with why you wouldn’t talk to me?” He laughs again, unwinding his hand from yours. The answer is hesitant, you choose to believe it’s because he was laughing.

“Sure.” 

You stay in the back of his car until the sun sets, wrapped up in the feeling of being with Taeil like it’s a warm bathrobe and you just stepped out of the shower.

*

“Where to this week?” You ask while bouncing over to the mom van. Taeil smiles, unlocking the door so you can climb in.

“I’m feeling ice cream, so Dairy Queen?” You smile and nod enthusiastically.

“Dairy Queen, absolutely!” He flashes you a smile while settling into the drivers seat, immediately connecting his phone to the aux and flipping through countless cast recordings.

“What are we feeling today? Maybe some Phantom?” When he looks over he’s greeted with a hazy smile, one that’s exclusively reserved for post rehearsal sappiness, “What?” (You pretend to not notice the goofy grin catching on the plane of his face.)

“I’m just really glad that we’re doing this weekly now. It’s almost like we’re friends.” He laughs, punching your shoulder. You think that it feels different than when Hyuck does it.

“We are friends, now text me your order.”

*

“Where are we headed, Miss?” Taeil questions, mustering up a rancid British accent. You would’ve laughed less if his hair wasn’t stuck to his forehead with sweat. The entire cast had been hoping Sicheng would lighten up on choreography rehearsals as you got closer to show week, but sadly you were all dead wrong.

“How about Dunkin’? I need the caffeine after that torture session.” He smiles widely, you pretend to not notice the bead of sweat that drips down his nose.

“Sounds great, text me-” 

“My order, already on it!” He pinches your cheek before putting the car in reverse; you try to ignore how it makes your skin burn for the rest of the day.

*

“I can’t believe we’re one week away from tech.” You lament while Taeil sinks his teeth into a Five Guys burger. The idea of inhaling fast food while sitting in the back of this boys car would’ve once been so foreign to you, but now it’s a routine, “It feels like just yesterday we were stuttering our way through every scene together while Hyuck roasted me in our group chat.”

“Would he really?” A laughs spills from your mouth, along with a single shred of lettuce from the bite of cheese burger you had just consumed. Taeil immediately points at the spot where it landed on your thigh, laughing along with you, “Swallow! Swallow before you speak! Laugh? Either!” He’s shaking a finger at you, it reminds you of something your father would do.

“Stop! It’s your fault for making me laugh!” You whine, reaching up to grab his still waggling finger, “I swear we’re gonna have to fight!” His laughter has permeated the air, it makes something flutter in your stomach.

“I can’t believe your manners are so bad! Get it together, (y/n)!” He brings his other hand up, but doesn’t get very far before your hands are wrapped around both of his index fingers.

“Keep this up and Marius is going on with eight fingers.” You manage through a laugh, trying not to notice the pink spreading across his high cheek bones. (The same way you tried to not notice the freckle on the shell of his ear, or how his skin looked like honey against his black sweatshirt,) “I’m not kidding!” 

“Forgive me for finding a girl who was wearing a blonde pom pom on her head an hour ago less than threatening.” He teases. You pretend that your heart doesn’t clench at his mischievous smirk.

“You’re so lucky that I like you too much to hurt you.”

*

When Jung Jaehyun moved in down the street you were six years old. It immediately resulted in countless days of riding your bikes up and down the street and stuffing your face with traditional Korean food at his house. Over the years the activities have changed, but the accessibility was always the same.

Which is how you ended up knocking on his front door at midnight exactly eight hours before tech rehearsals were set to begin. He opened the door wearing an expression of concern, as well as a bright green face mask.

“(Y/n)? It’s kinda late, isn’t-”

“I think I’m in love with Taeil.” You blurt out. His jaw drops open, light cracks forming in the green goop on his face, “I don’t really know how it happened, but we have those weekly dates or whatever, and he makes me laugh, a-and I don’t know! He’s just so kind and gentle, so so gentle, and our stage kiss! That, that used to be something just like... Whatever, you know? Like how I’ve kissed you and Hyuck. Just a stage kiss, but with Taeil it leaves chills all over my body! I literally forget my lines, which I’ve never done before! At least not because of a kiss!” Your eyes are wild (though, the fact that you’re donning fuzzy plaid pajama pants and bed head definitely adds to that.)

“Um... I’m not really in a position to talk right now, why don’t you come inside?” You nod, chewing nervously on your lower lip. He ushers you into the house, immediately seating you on the couch with a warm cup of honey tea, “I’m gonna go wash this off, but I promise I will be right back. We can talk then, yea?” You nod shyly, sipping the hot tea as he exits the living room.

The thoughts of Taeil had been dwelling in your head for weeks, causing your romance scenes to flourish. Receiving adamant praise from your director was nice, but you always left the stage with a hole in your chest. A gaping hole that only closes up in the solace of Taeil’s mom van with his eyes trained on you and everything feeling warm.

Jaehyun reenters the room with a clean face, immediately plopping next to you on the couch. His hair is pulled back from his forehead with an elastic headband, causing it to poke out in every direction. You think he looks like an octopus  

“The tea’s good.” You breathe, face taking on a tired expression. You think Jaehyun doesn’t notice until he places his ring finger on the space between your eyebrows.

“Relax, we don’t need tech week wrinkles before tech has even started.” You roll your eyes dramatically, running a hand across your face.

“I’ll never forgive Hyuck for teaching you about skin care.” You groan as he playfully punches your shoulder.

“Whereas I am forever grateful. So, Taeil?” You whine like a peeved child at his comment, head falling onto his shoulder. He let’s out a squeaky laugh while pushing you to sit up, “Come on, tell me everything!”

So you do, mouth letting out words faster than you thought was possible. You tell him about the first day he drove you home, how he ate sour patch kids and sang along to Mean Girls. You tell him about taco bell, about how your weekly outings have become almost sacred. Most importantly, you tell Jaehyun about the moment you started to fall. Sitting in the back of Moon Taeil’s car with a mouthful of burrito; ‘She was a lot like you, actually’. It was so certain, so meaningful.

“I don’t know. He just make me feel so calmed, like... Like when we’re together there’s a pink bubble around us, and nothing can penetrate it.” A soft smile has taken on home on your friends face, one of his hands holding his heart as he pouts. It’s maddening how a moment like this with Jaehyun (or with any of your friends) makes you feels so different compared to a moment like this with Taeil. He’s just a boy like the others, but his hand on your thigh would make your head explode.

“That’s really sweet, (y/n). And it seems like he really likes you too.” You groan again, eliciting a warm laugh from your friend, “What? Why’s that bad?” You drag your hands down your face, pulling dramatically on your cheeks.

“Because! I’ve never liked anyone this much before, let alone someone like Taeil! He’s so hardworking, and sweet to everyone. I just don’t know if...” He leans into you, raising one eyebrow.

“You don’t know what?” A lump forms in your throat, you want to vomit.

“I don’t know if I’m good enough.” The words are breathy due to you uselessly fighting back tears. One slides down your cheek, Jaehyun passes you a tissue, “A-and it’s scary because I’m not used to not knowing that, I’m always good enough! But for him, f-for him? He deserves the entire world, and I can’t give him that! I can’t even drive!” Jaehyun laughs softly, pulling you into a comforting hug while patting your back softly.

“Well the driving thing isn’t your fault, or relevant,” A whimper escapes your lips as you cuddle into your friends chest, “And if you two are meant to be then you will be enough. No matter what you have to give physically, if you two really love each other you will always be enough. Now let’s get you home, can’t have Cosette showing up cranky on the first day of tech.” You laugh; it’s a depressing, watery noise. Sitting up, you wipe the tear tracks from your cheeks and inhale snottily.

“No, I guess we can’t. Would be a shame to have a sleepy Javert, too.” He laughs while standing in one swift motion, offering you a hand.

“Yes it would... (Y/n?)” You stand up, stealing one last hug from your kind friend.

“Yes?” You ask while nestled in his arms.

“I love you so much. You’re like my little sister, and I’m really really proud of you.” A sigh leaves your chest, your whole body feeling like a weight’s been lifted.

“Thank you, big bro.” He smiles brightly, “You’re gonna tell everyone about this, aren’t you?” He laughs again, head tilting back. You think of the way Taeil does that, and then you think of the way his laugh sounds (soft and high, almost like how a fairy would laugh.)

“Sweetie, we already knew. We were just waiting for you to admit it.”

*

1:27 am

Incoming text from; xiaojun <3

‘(Y/N) AND TAEIL SITTIN IN A TREE’

‘K-I-S-S-I-N-G’

*

1:49 am

Incoming text from; seecheeng

‘thank u for confessing jae owes me $30′

*

1:52 am

Incoming text from; luke ass

‘AYEEEEEEEEEE’

*

6:05 am

Incoming text from; donkey yuck <33

‘if u don’t make a move by the end of tech i’ll eat your toes :)’

*

There were four dressing rooms in your theater, usually divided between principle and ensemble due to the amount of costumes. While the boys and girls were separated, you would freely go between your dressing room and wherever all of your boys were. You were all so familiar that you could come in wearing nothing but a sweatshirt and your spanx. Which is exactly what you did, business as usual.

“Happy t-” Your voice leaves as soon as you see Taeil sitting in front of a mirror with an eyebrow pencil in his hand. He looks at you, and it’s almost comical how quickly his cheeks turn pink, “I’m gonna go put my pants back on.” 

(You can hear Hyuck laughing through the walls.)

“Welcome back!” Lucas calls out as you reenter the dressing room, “Happy to see your pants this time.” You shoot him a sleepy glare and plop into the seat next to Donghyuck. 

“Will you do my falsies for me?” You ask the boy, already knowing that he’ll agree.

“Yes, but I’m not tying your corset.” A laugh falls from your lips as you pump primer onto the back of your hand. It’s going pretty well until you notice Taeil watching you, eyes trained on your every move. It makes you blush.

“What?” You ask, remnants of laughter settling in your chest. The room is bustling, people arguing over where to put costume pieces, music blaring from Xiaojun’s speaker, Lucas screaming over... Something; but nonetheless you can feel a bubble form around you and Taeil. 

“Oh! Nothing, just... Your makeup looks so good. Mine always looks gross.” His eyes are sparkling, along with the teeth that poke from his small smile. You laugh lightly, pushing a stray piece of hair behind your ear.

“Do you want me to do your makeup?” His eyes immediately go wide, the small smile now spreading cheek to cheek. The way he nods like an energetic kid makes your heart clench, “Okay, just let me finish this really quick.” You pack powder onto your forehead, then slide up onto the counter in front of where he’s sitting, “Where’s your foundation?” He reaches behind you to grab the small glass bottle, hand lightly brushing your hip bone in the process. It would be a joke to say the two of you don’t develop blushes redder than a fire engine.

“Um, here!” He shoves the bottle into your hands, driving a wedge between your bodies. 

“Thanks.” You sigh, spreading the liquid goop onto the back of your hand, “How are you feeling about your first tech day so far?” The boy smirks, a giggle playing on his lips.

“It’s fun. My favorite part was when you came in without pants.” From across the room Hyuck cackles, causing both you and Taeil to turn and stare.

“Sorry, I agree!” You roll your eyes and return to the former position. The first thing you notice is how smooth Taeil’s skin is, then the solemn expression that it wears. Your eyebrows crinkle while spreading blending foundation into his cheeks.

“What’s wrong?” You ask while moving onto the boys forehead. He shakes his head dismissively, causing you to promptly slap him, “Don’t move your head... Or lie to me.”

“I’m fine!” The boys sighs, a smile finally verging on the edges of his lips, “And I wouldn’t lie to you.” Something clenches inside of your chest, something that let’s you know he’s still not okay. You’re about to push even harder when Xiaojun calls your name from across the room, shouting that it’s your turn to pick the song.

“Anything from Waitress!” You reply while lightly dabbing blush onto Taeil’s cheeks. The bubble is officially popped, but the weight of Taeil’s face in your hands is too comforting for it to matter.

*

“Five to places!” Hendery calls into the girls dressing room. You (and three ensemble girls) are currently trying to shove your gut into a corset while not damaging the curly blonde wig on top of your head. Yet still, you drone ‘Thank you five’ in response, as if you’re all actually going to be ready by then.

“I got it!” One girl shouts as she fastens the eye and hook on your back, “Okay, breathe in really hard.” You barely have a chance to breathe period before she fastens the ribbons so tight that you see stars. 

“Thank you.” You wheeze as she backs away, moving quickly to put on your first dress. It’s a gorgeous thing, with sleeves that puff like clouds and a huge violet silk skirt. The first time you pulled it over your head it felt like you were the same little girl who bounced and cheered in the seats of the Les Mis national tour, like thousands of wishes on stars had come true. You felt the same way now as you gazed into the mirror.

“Where’s your bonnet?” The girl playing Eponine asked, eliciting a curse from your perfectly painted lips.

“I left it in the boys room.” You drop your hands from where they’re adjusting the gown and head for the door. Rushing into the boys dressing room while wearing a dress shaped like a cupcake and character shoes is probably a sight for sore eyes. You actually know that it is, if Xiaojuns aching laughter is anything to judge by.

“Has anyone seen my bon-” The sight of Taeil standing alone in the center of the room with your bonnet twirling on his fingers makes your voice stop. You smile and walk towards him, reveling in the stars in his eyes, “Thank you, I was looking for that.” You say as you take it off the boys fingers. The room is a heavy kind of silent, one that waits for someone to say something, “So are you-”

“We have to stop this.” He states, turning to face you head on. Something clenches in your chest, causing confusion to rise up on your face.

“Stop what, I’m just getting my bonnet-” 

“Please don’t do that,” He groans as sadness settles into the lines of his face, “don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. It’ll just drag this out.” He moves to turn away, but you grab him by the shoulder and flip him back to you. There’s no way that he’s getting of this that easily.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, so tell me!” You’re begging, but there’s something snapping in your heart telling you to not care. He sighs deeply, running one hand over his face. It’s infuriating how hard his action makes your stomach flutter.

“This! Th-the feelings! The way that we talk a-and touch, it has to stop.” You feel a lump harden in your throat, but you swallow it down and grip him tighter.

“Why?” He groans, trying again to move away, “No, tell me why? If it’s because you don’t feel how I do then I at least deserve to know!” His eyes go sad, a single tear rolling down his cheek. You want to tell him that it’ll ruin his makeup if he cries now. You want to wipe it away.

“It’s not that, I-I do feel the same. But I can’t, and I shouldn’t, so we have to stop this.” Tears are flowing down his cheeks, you want to cry too. It’s actually becoming hard not to.

“Yes, but why?” Your voice sounds like a sob.

“Because! Because I don’t want to hurt anyone, least of all you, so we have to stop this.” Well, that wasn’t any less confusing than this outburst. You’re about to say something when the door swings open.

“Places!” Hendery calls into the room. Your stomach goes cold at the realization that you still have to do the show.

“Thank you places.” Taeil calls back as you drop his shoulder. He wipes the tears from his cheeks, you want to tell him that he’s going to get foundation on his sleeve. Before he leaves he casts you one last glance with watery eyes, it almost looks like he’s going to apologize. He doesn’t, leaving you standing alone in the middle of the room. 

The silence settles heavy again, enveloping you entirely. There’s no sound as you sob, no sound as the overhead microphone turns on, no sound as Hyuck and Lucas enter the room to envelope you in a bone crushing. No sound except for the boiling anger that turns your ears red and the erratic thumping of your heart that leaps into your throat.

*

You do your makeup and put on your wig in the boys dressing room everyday, yet still manage to avoid talking to Taeil until final dress. It was challenging to say the least, but Hyuck’s terrible jokes and watching Lucas try to do his stage makeup was the perfect distraction from the brick that Taeil left in your gut. Unfortunately, neither of them were here now. Just Xiaojun (who was sitting in the cushy chair by the door with earbuds in,) Taeil (who was buttoning the collar of his ruffled shirt,) and you (who’s shoving all of the hair on your head into a wig cap.)

“You were really good yesterday.” He says, mocha brown eyes moving to where you sit. It’s frustrating how quickly you blush, “Not that you’re not always really good, you are! It’s just-” 

“Why are you doing this?” You ask, hands dropping from your head and onto the makeup counter, “First you say that you won’t... Whatever for god knows why, and that’s fine! I’m trying to let that be fine, even though I have to kiss you but it’s not like I’m actually kissing you. It’s fine, it’s fine! Until you start trying to make small talk, that’s just cruel.” You can only imagine how non-threatening you look with all of your hair shoved into a lump on your head, yet he still looks like he’s been scolded.

“Oh, um... I’m sorry.” You turn back to the mirror and pull the wig onto your head, securing it with a huge clump of bobby pins.

“I have to go and get my costume on, I’ll see on stage.” You exit quickly, with something angry, sad, and ugly forming in your stomach.

*

The feeling of opening night is one that eludes a description. It’s like there’s a pit in your stomach, but the pit is lined with glitter and fireworks. Wonderful and happy and relived, but still anxious. 

“Happy opening!” You sing while waltzing into the boys room, wearing a pair of sweatpants over your already fastened corset.

“Happy opening!” They chorus in response. The room is already in perfect chaos, with Hyuck and Lucas doing full fledged reenactments of whatever song comes on shuffle while Jaehyun stands between them and struggles to brush on mascara. You laugh at the scene while settling into a makeup chair.

“How are you feeling?” Xiaojun asks from his seat next to yours. A smile spreads on your face at the question, causing your hands to hiccup while they unpack your makeup bag.

“Excited... Nervous. Happy, but also a little bit sad. Everything, I guess.” He laughs in a way that let’s you know he feels the same, and that he also has no idea how to describe an opening night.

“Everything about sums it up.” He responds with a short laugh, turning in his chair to face the mirror, “I’m really proud of us, you know? Like... You make me cry every night, (y/n), we used to not even be able to get through the death scene without cracking up.” The memory of your wig sliding away from your scalp like a fried egg makes you giggle while you cast a soft smile towards your onstage father. The bright feeling in your stomach turns sour as you see Taeil’s reflection, but you swallow it whole.

“I’m proud of us too, dad.” Your friend visibly cringes, a hearty laugh escaping his smiling lips.

“Nope, nope absolutely hated that!” He whines, pushing you back towards the mirror.

“Aw come on-” You stop talking when Hendery pokes his head into the dressing room, already knowing the exact words he’s about to say.

“Mic check in five!” He calls, the words feeling different than they did the day before.

“Thank you five!” Everyone answers.

*

It had never been a problem that Taeil’s mic check was done right before yours. Sure, you both had to go back to the dressing room at almost the same time, but it usually never mattered. Xiaojun, Lucas, and Jaehyun were always done far before you and you could find them in the dressing room finishing up their makeup and starting to get in costume. It had never been a problem, until today that is.

You enter the dressing room hoping to immediately jump into a Lucas led dance party. Instead the room is empty except for Taeil, who’s quietly singing while patting blush onto his smooth cheeks. His back goes pin straight when he hears you pick up your makeup bag, moving towards you quickly. His hand comes to rest on your shoulder, it’s frustrating how right it feels.

“(y/n), please just-” 

“Taeil, I already told you. I can’t do this.” The expression on his face is one of soft determination, small creases forming next to his pretty eyes.

“I know, I know. I just want you to know that... I love you, (y/n), and I have to tell you why. Can I tell you why?” You can feel him looking at you with a gaze that weighs a thousand pounds, so you nod, “I love you because every time I pass a Taco Bell now I think of your sweet laugh in the back of my car. I love you because whenever I drop you off at your house my car still smells like your perfume for hours. I love you because when you blush it goes up to your ears. I love you because every time that we sing together I think of New Years Eve with my mom, when we’d sing around the piano after dinner. And I know, I shouldn’t do this because you have a boyfriend and that’s just... Wrong, but if I didn’t say this-” Your eyebrows furrow hard at his comment, a boyfriend?

“Who’s my boyfriend?” You ask, causing confusion to rise on the boys face, “Taeil, who’s my boyfriend?” 

“I-I thought- Donghyuck?” A hodgepodge of emotions bubbles in your chest. It’s like an elation and confusion sundae, topped with disgust sauce and a cherry.

“Taeil, you beautiful, beautiful idiot! Donghyuck’s not my boyfriend, he’s just my friend!” You exclaim as the boys eyes go wide. You grab his face by the cheeks, then remember that he’s wearing a full face and settle for his shoulders.

“He is?!” You nod excitedly as his confused expression is replaced with realization.

“I’d rather eat my own toes than date Hyuck, he’s an asshole!” 

“Yea see you’d say stuff like that and I’d get really confused-”

“Taeil, we’re going to kiss now. Okay?” He nods, bringing his hands to curve around your neck.

“Oh, okay. More than okay-” 

The first thing you notice is that his breath tastes like cinnamon. He tastes like cinnamon and clover honey, and you think that you could get addicted to it. You think you are addicted to it. The way that his hands hold your face like it’s a diamond, the way that his soft lips engulf yours, the way that the taste of him has you subconsciously following him while he pulls away. You think that kissing Taeil is one of those things that only takes a taste to make someone addicted.

“I love you, so, so much,” He breathes, foreheads resting against one another. You’ve never felt more in a bubble than you do right now, “I don’t know what to say...” 

“So don’t.” You sigh while moving forward, securing his lips in a second kiss. His lips are moving with yours within seconds, his tongue briefly slipping into your mouth. It takes every ounce of your self control to not melt in his hands.

He’s moving his hands down to your waist when the door opens. You don’t even notice, too lost in the weight of Taeil’s mouth and the motion of his hands. You two are completely lost in each other, until Lucas let’s out a high pitched scream.

“Damn it! Hyuck, you won!” He shouts, causing you and Taeil to jump away from each other (and for Taeil to hit his tailbone on the makeup counter. You jokingly offered to ‘kiss it better.’)

“Finally!” Hyuck says, entering the dressing room with an arm slung around Xiaojun’s shoulder.

“It’s only been a week!” You cry defensively, settling into Taeil’s side. You take in his warmth and think to yourself, ‘I could get used to this.’

“We’ve been betting on this since the read through.” Jaehyun states blankly while grabbing his costume from the rack.

“Yea, we were starting to think Sicheng was gonna win with ‘after the show.’” Xiaojun jokes, holding his hand out to silently ask Jaehyun to pass him his first costume, “I’ve already lost, act one sing through.” You laugh brightly, slapping Taeil’s chest with one hand. He’s staring at you like you’re made out of a million dollars, for the first time you can notice it.

“I think after you explain this I might have to dig your grave.” He laughs, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. You decide that you like it when his kisses are gentle, too.

“Yea, probably. Now go get your wig on, cutie.” Your friends gag loudly as you give him a short peck and bounce away over to where your wig sits on the other side of the dressing room. You don’t want it to be any other way.

*

“You know, the wig actually looks kinda pretty with the whole costume.” Taeil says, pushing an artificial ringlet off of your face. You laugh while rolling your eyes and grabbing his hand.

“Just like how you don’t look stupid in that ruffle shirt?” He smiles in a way that makes his eyes crinkle, you add the sight to a list of things you never want to forget.

“Exactly!” You’re going to kiss him again, but sadly you’re interrupted by Hendery poking his head into the dressing room.

“Places in five!” You suddenly remember that it’s opening night, then you think of how easy it’ll be to portray Cosette’s story tonight.

“Thank you five!” You both respond, Taeil bringing a hand to cradle your jaw.

“I’ve never dreaded leaving a dressing room more.” You whine, giving your boyfriend a sad glance. He smiles in a way that makes your whole body feel warm. 

“Don’t worry,” Taeil whispers before pressing a quick kiss to your lips, “we’ll have plenty of time to do this after the show. Now go to your dressing room, I’ll see you onstage.” 

Later, during notes, your director says that the first glance between Marius and Cosette was the best one yet. You know it’s because the entire time while cooped up in your dressing room you thought of nothing other than Moon Taeil’s lips on yours.

*

When the cast list for Grease was posted you were checking out at Sheetz with Taeil. Jaehyun, Xiaojun, Lucas, Sicheng, Hendery, and Donghyuck  were quietly waiting for you two at a table, speaking anxiously amongst themselves. Well, until everyone’s phones went off at the same time. The only thing you could make out was someone yelling ‘cast list!’ and Xiaojun dropping his phone face first onto the tile. Along with people harassing Hendery for information.

(”Don’t act like you don’t know!” Lucas accused while offering a hand to Xiaojun who was assessing the damage on his phone. While on the floor.

“I’m telling you, I’m just the five guy!”)

“Here’s your receipt, have a great day!” The cashier chirped while handing  the receipt to your boyfriend. There was a knot forming in your stomach as you walked over to your friends table with three bagfuls of snacks, but it released as Taeil put a hand on your shoulder.

“Relax, Sandy.” He whispered into your ear. The words made you blush all the way up to your ears.

“We haven’t seen the list yet Danny!” You quip back, hoping desperately that he didn’t notice your red cheeks. (He noticed, your cheeks got a firm kiss along with a boyish giggle.) 

“(y/n)!” Haechan squeals while running over and grabbing you by the shoulders, “Look at the list!” A nervous giggle slips past your lips as you move to grab your phone. You stop when you notice that Taeil’s already on it, turning to face him while inhaling deeply.

“Give it to me straight, Doc.” You deadpan, causing him to let out a breathy laugh.

“Cute.” The way he says it makes you want to explode, “Okay, we’re looking.” 

As always, you bit your cheek and nodded along while he read out everyone’s roles. For the next three minutes, the only words that your brain could conjure were ‘mhm’, ‘oh, that’s great!’, and ‘that’ll be fun!’ Other words don’t exist until Taeil gasps dramatically.

“What is it? Is it good, is it bad. You know what? If it’s bad I want Jaehyun tell me, because-”

“It’s good!” He interjects, effectively cutting off your rabbit tail, “We are the cool couple at a made up high school in the fifties!”

“Oh,” You say, heart rate slowing, “that’s good. We’re good!”

“We were already good though, right?” 

“No, yes! I just meant like... Good at theatre!” The eclectic bubbling in your  chest is making it hard to talk, but the way that your sweet boyfriend is smiling makes it okay.

“Oh, yea. I guess we are.” He smiles a goofy smile, and your stomach does back flips. In that moment it doesn’t matter that you’re in a Sheetz dining room while surrounded by all of your screaming friends, you want to kiss Taeil more than you want to breathe. So you do, effectively forming a perfect and pink bubble around you two. You’re about to pull away for air when Hyuck screams.

(“Get a room!” )

You were all now sitting at the table, everyone talking excitedly about the show and their parts. It was a happy conversation, filled with laughter and remembering Les Mis.

“Remember that terrible wig you had?” Donghyuck starts while shoving a potato chip into his mouth,  “You looked like a poodle.”

“I think she looked pretty.” Taeil comments quietly, wrapping an arm around you.

“Aww,” You coo, nestling into the boys side, “thank you honey.” You’re about to kiss his cheek, but then Donghyuck gags dramatically. 

“Hey, who do you think’s gonna fall in love this time around?” Sicheng teases while budding into the conversation.

You think that sitting there with everyone is the way that life was intended to be lived.

#Moon Taeil #taeil x reader #taeil imagines #taeil fluff #taeil ff #nct #nct fluff #admin reid #yall this took me forever to write bc id periodically have to get up and sing mt songs #i am WEAK #also i love taeil so much he is prettiest boy #im insanely happy to finally post this pls pls enjoy <3 #the writing tag

[drakexwillow]

Isolation - Happy Birthday, Mskaneko!

Happy birthday @mskaneko! You’re one of the most generous, kind, supportive and hilarious people I’ve ever had the pleasure of talking too. You’re a light in this fandom, always spreading your kindness and amazing talent with everyone around you, we all love you so so much! I hope you have an amazing day and you deserve all the happiness in the word 💙

Pairing: Drake x Kate x Maxwell

Words: 792

Warnings: Swearing

A/N: Thank you @addictedtodrakefanfic​ and @loveellamae​ for beta reading, i love you both!

PermaTags: @addictedtodrakefanfic​ @msjr0119​ @burnsoslow​ @loveellamae​ @mskaneko​ @bbrandy2002​

4 weeks Kate, Drake and Maxwell had been stuck in isolation together. The longer it went on, the more Kate feared for Max’s life, to say he was annoying Drake was a big understatement. He seemed to have a new obsession every week. Week one was hoarding, Max had somehow managed to accumulate 60 rolls of toilet paper, 20 bags of jolly ranchers, 10 pints of ice cream and he’d made sure to bring over his 5 peacocks from Ramsford that were now roaming freely outside their cabin. Week two was the news channels, every waking moment Max was watching the news and monitoring everything that was going on and if either Drake or Kate tried to change the channel he’d have a breakdown. Week three was baking, he nearly burnt the kitchen down 5 times before Drake had banned him from using the oven. This week was dance routines. He’d play the same song morning till night trying to perfect his dancing, it was only Wednesday and Kate already felt like banging her head off a brick wall or jumping out the window and making a run for it. She couldn’t put up with the constant bickering between Max and Drake anymore so she’d decided she was going to lock herself in her office until further notice. She snuck downstairs, retrieved a pint of ice cream and ran back upstairs before anyone noticed. Once in her office, she locked the door behind her, sat down at her desk and pulled up Friends on Netflix and curled up in her chair. After digging into her ice cream she pulled her phone out of her pocket and decided this was always the perfect time to stalk Michiel Huisman while she had the chance.

*******

Drake gritted his teeth, it was 10am and he’d already had to hear the same over and over again for the past 2 hours. He’d considered going for a walk, but everytime he tried to leave the house a peacock would attack him, it wasn’t worth the hassle. The house suddenly went quiet and Drake let out a relieved sigh, but then stiffened as he heard Max’s voice behind him.

“Hey buddy” Max said as he walked into the kitchen and began rummaging through the cupboards. Drake pinched the bridge of his nose. I can’t leave the house so I’m going to have to make him leave.

Drake tried to hide the smirk that appeared across his face “You going to feed the peacocks?” He looked out the kitchen window “They look kinda hungry”

Max snapped his fingers “I knew I’d forgot to do something” he clapped Drake on the back “Thanks for reminding me” he said as he swiftly left the kitchen. Drake watched out the window, as soon as he saw Max come into view he ran to the door, making sure to lock both the front and the back door. Pleased with himself Drake made his way to the living room, he turned on the TV and rested his feet on the coffee table as he flicked through the channels.

*******

Kate was halfway through her pint of ice cream and had managed to accumulate 234 more pictures for her Michiel folder. She jumped when she heard a series of loud bangs and crying, dropping her ice cream in the process “Mother fucker” she groaned as she looked at the mess on the floor. She made her way over to the window and peered through the curtains, her eyes widened as she saw Maxwell banging on the door surrounded by stretching peacocks. She climbed onto the window sill, opening it she leaned out

“Max, what are you doing?” She called

Max stared up at her, teary-eyed“I’m trapped out here, the doors locked!” He cried.

“I’ll be down in a second” she climbed back down and quickly made her way downstairs. She spotted Drake in the living room “Maxwell’s locked outside”

“Yeah I know” he said absentmindedly, his eyes not leaving the TV screen.

She narrowed her eyes “Aren’t you going to let him in?”

“Who do you think locked him out?” Drake shrugged

“Drake!” she scolded.

Drake sighed “He’s annoying as hell and I needed a break” he picked up the tv remote “If I turn up the volume we won’t hear him and it’ll be fine”

Kate chewed the inside of her cheek, Drake wasn’t wrong Max had been a handful and his crying was now drowned out by the TV. She glanced down the hallway to the back door and then back at Drake

“Can we watch Friends?”

He patted the seat next to him “Of course”

Kate grinned as she made her way over and curled up next to Drake, Maxwell now long forgotten.

#trr fanfic #drake walker x mc #maxwell beaumont

[awesomenightfall]

[’til death]

Haven’t written in 5ever and this is my first time writing Furuba ficlet! Rated PG, Ritsu/Mitsuru, Ayame/Mine, some mentioned others. Unbeta’d. 1,887 words.

With Ayame’s wedding looming, Mitsuru thinks, not for the first time, that they should definitely elope.

---

The invitation to the Sohma/Kuramae wedding was so big, so bedazzled and lace filled, that it had to be hand delivered to Mitsuru’s doorstep because it was too enormous to fit into the mailbox.

It was more box shaped than a standard paper invitation, Mitsuru observed, and knowing the ostentatious nature of her boyfriend’s relative, she wouldn’t have been surprised if live doves flew into her face when she opened it.

This was even fancier, if possible, than Ayame's baby announcement from the prior year. The pink lace monstrosity had taken a lot of people by surprise, but Ritsu sobbed hysterical happy tears for “Ayame-’niisan” and knitted no less than 12 pairs of baby socks for his new little cousin.

The older Sohma relatives were apparently not as impressed with the gaudy announcement or the out-of-wedlock baby girl that Ayame had brought into the world. The whole thing had been "Terribly scandalous," Ritsu's mom told her in a stage whisper, clutching her metaphorical pearls, "a baby before marriage and with his employee, no less… his mother almost had a nervous breakdown."

Her first thought: Wow. Rich people sure do things differently.

Her second thought: Am I going to have to see The Spawn of Satan - Shigure-sensei - at this wedding?

Ritsu, the sensitive, romantic soul that he was, was already blinking back tears by the time she pulled the velvet invitation out.

“I’m so happy for Ayame-’niisan and Mine-san. They’re such a kind, wonderful couple,” Ritsu sniffled, pausing from his knitting. He was curled up on her worn brown couch underneath an old blanket, hands working diligently at the tiny mittens he was knitting for one of his relatives' upcoming babies. They were adorable, of course, with a kitten motif in soft orange. “And it will be so good to see Hatori-’niisan and Shigure-’niisan again!”

Mitsuru shivered violently at the mention of her old boss. It was a Pavlovian response at this point and no amount of therapy in the world would help her work through it. Her worst fears were confirmed: she was definitely going to have to see Shigure-sensei and she was definitely going to have to be on her best behavior in front of Ritsu’s parents and relatives.

Ritsu lifted the blanket, looking concerned. “Mitsuru-san, are you cold? You should come under here before you get sick.”

She smiled to herself as she slid next to him. In the five years they had been dating, Ritsu had come a long way in terms of shyness and self confidence. He still asked if it was okay to kiss her and he blushed from neck to navel at the thought of anything beyond an innocent smooch, but they had gotten past the “apologize hysterically for holding her hand too long” stage and that in itself was a miracle. 

“You’re so cold,” Ritsu said softly, setting the knitting needles down on the coffee table in front of the couch. He tucked her into the blanket next to him and took her hands in his, rubbing them for warmth. “Maybe we should plan a trip to my mother’s hot spring resort sometime soon, they’re the best in the winter. And she would love to see you, she’s always asking for you.”

Mitsuru rested her head on his slender shoulder and took this opportunity to stealthily stare at him. He was so cute, she thought. Beautiful, even with his cropped hair and more masculine clothing. And he was so darn sweet, always worried about her, worried if she was working too hard, if she had enough to eat, if her new clients were treating her right. 

She had always thought she would die alone in her house surrounded by Shigure’s unfinished manuscripts with only cats to keep her company; Mitsuru never thought she could be so happy.

“Is something wrong?” he asked, catching her gaze with his own. Eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Do you not want to see my family? You -- you don’t have to, I mean. I don’t want to pressure you. Are you too warm? Do you want me to--?”

She put her fingers to his lips, shushing him. “Nothing’s wrong. I was just thinking how lucky I am to have you.”

Her words had their intended effect and Ritsu nearly shot off the couch in embarrassment. “N-no no no no, Mitsuru-san! I’m the one that’s lucky to have you!” he babbled, face red. “I’m not --”

Mitsuru cut him off with a gentle kiss; the most effective way, she learned over the years, to stop his self deprecating apologies. “Ritsu,” she said with a smile. “I love you.”

Immediately his eyes glistened, even though he had heard this from her hundreds of times before. It never failed to make him emotional and it was infectious -- Mitsuru could feel her throat tighten at the look of gratitude on his face. “Thank you,” Ritsu said quietly, hugging her to him tightly. “I love you, too. And I’ll work so hard to make you happy.”

They sat in silence for a long while, enjoying the company and warmth.

“Weddings are nice, aren’t they?” Ritsu asked, somewhat hesitantly, not quite looking at her. “Being married must be wonderful.”

Mitsuru wondered if he was feeling her out on the subject. She knew he was getting some pressure from his family on proposing and while it was amusing, she didn’t want him to stress too badly. There was only so much knitting and yoga he could do to stave off a freakout. “I think so, too.”

“Y-you do?”

“Of course,” she said, snuggling closer. “To be with the person you love every day -- is there anything better?”

He let out a quiet, “Oh,” but said nothing further, only kissing the top of her head absently, looking deep in thought.

As the comfortable silence returned and she drifted off, a thought so horrifying nearly jolted her from Ritsu’s embrace:

If Ritsu and I get married, does that mean I’ll be related to Shigure-sensei?

The things people do for love, she thought with a heavy sigh, and let herself succumb to sleep.

---

The Sohma clan in its entirety was overwhelming, to say the least. The grounds of the complex were decked out with an explosion of flowers, beautiful against the autumn backsplash. There were gazebos and arches and tables upon tables of food, alcohol, and desserts that spanned as far as the eye could see.

Mitsuru recognized a lot of Ritsu’s relatives -- mostly the ones that had once lived at Shigure’s house -- so she didn’t feel entirely out of place. Shigure had yet to make an appearance because of course he would be fashionably late, even to his best friend’s wedding.

“Mitsuru-san, you look beautiful,” Ritsu said at her side. “I love your dress.”

“Oh? Thank you.” She didn’t even bother to hide how pleased she was that Ritsu thought so. The black, long sleeved cocktail dress has been a safe choice and not nearly as lovely as the kimonos Ritsu once donned, so it was nice to know it made an impression. “Is your suit warm enough? It’s a bit chilly out.”

He squeezed her hand. “Oh no, I’m fine. If you get cold, I brought an extra shawl in the car.”

How was it possible, Mitsuru thought as they walked towards familiar faces, that this angel shared DNA with Shigure?

Ayame’s brother, Yuki, looked resplendent in a dark gray suit but, well, the pinched look of stress sort of ruined the ambience.

“Bets on if you think Aya-’nii is going to wear a wedding dress?” another Sohma relative, the one with black and white hair, asked.

“He would look so good in one!” a blond, perky Sohma replied. He paused from digging into a huge plate of desserts. “Do you think they’re wearing matching dresses?”

Yuki looked pained. “Please, don’t even breathe life into those words. My mother is already having an aneurysm at the whole situation.” 

The redheaded one -- Kyou, Mitsuru remembered -- handed Yuki a very full glass of champagne. Yuki took it gratefully and immediately started imbibing. “Kind of serves her right, don’t you think?” Kyou asked with a snort. “She bitched and moaned about him not being married before. Well, wish granted.”

A very pregnant Tohru beamed up at Yuki. Her hand cradled her round belly, a modest gold ring twinkling on her slender finger. “I think it’s wonderful. I can’t wait to see what Ayame-san and Mine-san wear!”

“Are you okay?” Kyou asked her, a protective hand on the small of her back. “Are you tired? Do you want to go sit down?”

Yuki rolled his eyes good naturedly, turning to Mitsuru and Ritsu. At least something was distracting him from his existential dread. “He’s only gotten worse since the pregnancy. I’m surprised this idiot hasn’t implanted a GPS chip into her neck so he can keep track of everything Tohru is doing at all times. It’s borderline obsessive.”

Yuki’s girlfriend - Machi? - gave him an even look. “As if you’re one to talk. Who is the one browsing baby websites at 2am and reading all the reviews to make sure Honda-san only has the safest baby toys?”

“Thank you, Yuki!” Tohru trilled over Kyou’s protests. “You’re so kind.”

Before Yuki could retort, the lights dimmed. A literal orchestra started playing as Mine -- wearing a breathtaking lace and crystal ball gown with a hoop skirt that would put Victorian novels to shame -- slowly walked down the aisle. Mitsuru could hear Ritsu sniffling and she immediately handed him some tissues from her purse.

Before anyone could inquire where Ayame was, the music stopped. The spotlights zoomed in on one of the temporary partitions that separated the food area from the reception area. 

“I have a bad feeling about this,” Yuki muttered. “‘Niisan kept mentioning a ‘surprise’.”

Hatori, arguably the one sane person at this event, clapped a hand on his shoulder. “Just remember… this will be over soon and we can all go back to ignoring him.”

The partitions slowly opened to reveal Ayame -- not wearing a dress, to his credit, but a white tunic and pants outfit that looked like it belonged to an Arabian king-- in a lavish, horse drawn carriage, baby tucked in one arm, being pulled down the aisle. He waved benevolently to his subjects with his free hand and then blew a kiss to Yuki and then to his future wife.

“Please repress my memories of this night, Hatori,” Yuki said miserably. “It’s the least you can do for making me come.”

“Yuki, your mom fainted,” Hatsuharu said helpfully.

“Holy. Shit,” Kyou said.

Yuki grabbed an entire bottle of champagne from the nearby waiter. “I formally renounce the Sohma name and am now an orphan.”

Ritsu wiped at his eyes, passing a tissue to an emotional Tohru. “What a beautiful wedding. I can’t wait to see what they have planned next!”

“I hate this family,” Yuki said and honestly? 

Mitsuru couldn’t blame him.

---

“Ritsu,” Mitsuru said a few hours later, once they were back in the safe haven of her house, “let’s elope.”

Ritsu dropped all of the plates he was washing with a loud crash, hands pressed to his burning cheeks. His voice went up at least three octaves. “Elope--? As in-- marriage?? Mitsuru-san???”

Elopement would be perfect, she thought happily. 

The further away... the better.

#fruits basket #ritsu sohma #mitsuru #ayame sohma #mine kuramae #k writes trash #ayame is an icon

[what-is-your-plan-today]

Stark Spangled Banner Ch 12: Fairy Tale of New York

Summary: In the run up to the Festive Period, Katie presents the Publishing Company proposal to the Stark Industries board, and our favourite couple spend their first Christmas together in New York. New Years eve is welcomed in with a bang at a Stark Industries Gala and Steve’s simply happy he has his girl by his side...

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

Warnings: SMUT (NSFW!) So over 18s only please. And some teeth rotting fluff… and LANGUAGE

A/N: 

There is a smutty little companion piece to this called Love In An Elevator which sits as part of the Stark Spangled Kinks little mini series and expands a little bit more on the events before and after the New Years Gala. 

December 2013

Steve loved his girl. He would die for her if he had to, without a second thought. But the one thing he dreaded above everything was the thought of shopping, not least as it was the middle of December. Frankly, when she was shopping for herself Katie was a nightmare. Not on purpose, she was just so indecisive about whatever she was looking for, insisting that things made her look too wide hipped, short, big assed, big chested (which he’d told her cheekily wasn’t the clothes fault she had good assets which had earned him a slap around the back of the head). It was ridiculous, she was ridiculous, and he had no idea why she was so insecure as frankly she was gorgeous and would stop a room if she walked in wearing a sack.

“You don’t need to come!” she chuckled at him, shoving on her jacket “I know I’m a pain in the ass and it’ll take me ages, plus it will be busy as it’s nearly Christmas.” “You sure?”

“Yeah.” she smiled, dropping her arms round his shoulders from behind the sofa, her hands coming to rest on his chest. “I just need a break from that damned proposal and to be honest, I only make you come so you can carry my bags.” “Nice to see I have my uses” he said sarcastically, rolling his head round so he could catch her lips.

“Well it makes me feel special.” she said, shrugging as she straightened up.

And damned it, after she’d said that, how could he not go?

“You know what, it’s fine. I’ll come. Give me a second.” he said with a slight sigh, and when he glanced at her he noticed her turn around with a smirk on her face and he knew then he’d been played, well and truly.

“You’re so full of shit…” he said, shaking his head as she laughed whilst he went to retrieve his boots.

2 hours later he was beginning to regret his utter lack of ability to resist her charms. She was still flapping about her New Year’s Eve outfit for the Stark Industries Ball, worse than she normally did Steve noted. 6 dresses she had tried on. 6 and she hated every one. Deciding enough was enough, instead of letting her walk into the next shop he’d tugged her hand, his strength easily keeping her from following her intended path and pulled her up the escalator to the fancy, pretentious champagne bar that was placed on the floor overlooking the lower floors of the City Centre mall.

“Why can’t I find anything that looks good?” She muttered as he slid a glass of Bollinger over to her, handing his card to the bar tender.

“Katie, stop it.” he said, looking at her where she was perched next to him at the bar. “All of them looked great.” “You’d say that no matter what.” she looked at him, and she couldn’t help but smile at the affection on his face.

“Because it’s true.” he smirked taking a pull of his beer “But if you want my opinion the red one was my favourite.” And it was. It was a scarlet colour, straight cut satin number, which clung to every delectable curve of her body, flashing a peep of leg through the thigh high split on the right hand side, not to mention the neckline and back. It was a halter-neck with a cowl at the front giving a subtle flash of cleavage and left her upper back was bare. It was demure enough to keep most of what was underneath it to the imagination, yet also flashed enough skin to make him feel slightly warm every time he looked at her. When he’d seen her walk out of the changing room it, it had almost made his mouth water, and it had definitely made his trousers feel tighter

“The Galliano one?” she asked.

“If that was the red one.” he shrugged, he had no idea about designers or makes.

“Hmmm.” she said, contemplating what he said as Steve thanked the bar tender and signed his name on the check with a flourish. He didn’t even look at how ludicrously expensive the champagne and his fancy European lager was. He didn’t care, he earned enough from SHIELD to treat his girl every once in a while. In fact he decided then he wanted to buy her the dress too.

“Let me buy it for you.” he said softly.

“What?” She frowned “Don’t be stupid, not like I can’t afford it.” “That isn’t the point.” he sighed, rolling his eyes at her stubbornness. “I’d like to.” She eyed him for a moment before she smiled and reached out to gently brush his cheek with her hand “Ok thank you.” Well that had been easier than he had anticipated. Normally she argued like hell about paying for things, be it takeout, food, meals, dates. Instead, she leaned over to give him a soft peck on the lips and he smiled back. But then another frown creased her brow and she was back to brooding again. No, there was something bothering her.

“Sweetheart, what is it?” he said gently, his hand landing on her knee.

Katie looked up at him, before she sighed “I’m nervous.” “About the pitch?”

She nodded. And she was. She had been working on the Presentation and Business Plan for the Publishers since Thanksgiving. The Business Plan had been submitted to the board two days ago, and she was due to give the Presentation tomorrow morning. She had hoped that shopping for a new power suit and a dress for New Year’s would distract her for a few hours. It hadn’t.

“Doll, you’ve been working on it for weeks. Pepper says it’s great, even Tony didn’t find anything to pick holes in.” he said, soothingly.

“I just…I want everyone to vote on it because it’s a good idea, not just because of who I am.” she said softly, “You know?” “And they will. Honestly, you’re over thinking and over worrying. You’re going to smash it.”

He watched as a small smile tugged at her lips “You and your sudden obsession with street lingo…”

“What?” he frowned, mock annoyance on his face “Can’t Captain America be down with the kids?” “Ok, I never want to hear you say that, ever again.” she chuckled and he grinned. “Oh, but speaking of Kids…are you gonna make the Foundation Party?”

Steve took a deep breath. The Stark Foundation apparently hosted a yearly Christmas Party at the tower for local children who were either ill or in the care system. Last year’s hadn’t gone ahead on account of Tony’s near mental breakdown-slash-terrorist problem but this year they were full steam ahead. Tony would be there in his Iron Man get up, Katie as well (she loved everything about the party) and she’d asked Steve if he would mind coming along. And he didn’t mind per-se, it was just the idea of 50 kids running around that invited utter chaos.

“I’m gonna try.” he said, honestly. “As long as there’s no missions that go off.”

“Well don’t worry if you can’t” she said, smiling “We’re not telling the kids you are anyway, so if you turn up it will be like Santa himself has arrived. Only in a different suit. And with a shield not a sack.”

Steve let out a chortle before he dropped a kiss to her head “Ok Cinders, let’s go get your dress then we can go home, eat junk and watch trash.”

“You know how to spoil a lady.” Katie smirked, and Steve flashed her a grin, not least because he knew it was her favourite thing to do in the world.

***** Katie took a deep breath as she sat in Pepper’s office. She’d landed in New York little over an hour ago and was now nervous as hell. Really nervous. Steve had assured her she would be fine as he had dropped her at the airfield to catch the jet over. He had assured her she would be fine when he kissed her goodbye. He had assured her she would be fine when she landed and received his text message. And all that amounted to was the fact she now thought Steve was an optimistic fool because she was not fine. She was shitting herself.

“You ready?” Pepper asked as she walked into her office, effortlessly business-like but graceful as always.

“No.” Katie said honestly, looking up from where she had been sat reading over her cue cards again.

“Well, we’re about to start.” she smiled “I put you on first so you can concentrate on the rest of the board meeting once you’ve pitched.” Katie nodded and stood up, smoothing down her pencil skirt. “Ok, let’s get it over with.” She followed Pepper down to the Boardroom and stepped inside where one of the Interns was setting up the screen to the right. She smiled at the other members of the Board, all who she knew by name and took a seat to the right of Tony who held the head of the table, Pepper sitting opposite her to his left.

“You got this Kiddo.” Tony leaned over to whisper in her ear before he sat up “Alright Ladies and Gents, the last Board meeting of 2013…”

Katie listened as Tony spoke and then Pepper outlined the agenda and then way too fast she was being invited to speak. She stood up, cleared her throat, looked at the Presentation, to her cards and then froze before she smiled gently.

“You know what…” She said, looking round “I had a huge, posh presentation prepared but I know you’ve read all the statistics and the numbers” she took a deep breath and tossed her cue cards down on the table “So I’m gonna speak from my heart and share my vision…or in Tony’s words, I’m winging it….” Tony leaned back in his chair and watched as his sister held the room, occasionally glancing at Pepper who was smiling proudly. Katie spoke articulately, clearly but most of all passionately. He could tell that most of the board members were with her, the only one that was going to be an ass-hat about it was Jeremy Saul, their Finance Director. He had been the only one that had questioned the viability of Katie’s desire to go for un-published, un-known authors. Her proposal and vision wasn’t about making as much profit as possible, it was about encouraging talent.

“I just have one question…” Jeremy leaned back in his chair and Tony sat up, stroking his beard as he looked at the man who was staring up at his sister. Katie turned her gaze to him.

“By all means, please Mr Saul.” 

Arse-Saul more like… “I’ve read the business plan. You don’t intend to turn a profit for the first year…” he said, “And even after that you don’t seem to be focussed on any kind of margins or return on sales whatsoever.” “That’s correct.” Katie said

“Well, forgive me for asking but what benefit will this bring to Stark Industries from a money perspective?” Katie took a deep breath, and glanced at Tony who had arched his eyebrow. She could tell he was thinking the same thing as her - ‘Dickhead’.

“The same benefit the Stark Relief Fund brings. The same benefit the Stark Foundation brings.” Katie said, taking a deep breath “I’m not going to lie, my vision isn’t about profiteering. It’s about giving a springboard to those Authors who, like JK Rowling have had every door so far slammed in their faces.” she looked around the room remembering Peppers’ advice- Enthuse, engage, engross. “Granted, in the future it would be nice to have a decent turn over, and I don’t want to run at a loss. I’m a firm believer I can make it breakeven in the first 2 years as the numbers show, and the remaining 3 on the 5 year plan show a return on sales of just over 5%.”

“5% isn’t a huge amount.” Saul looked at Katie and she nodded.

“You’re right, it isn’t. But you know as well as I do that Stark Industries turns over a ludicrous amount of money every year so it doesn’t need another section which turns over profits in excess of 30%. That isn’t my vision here, and that’s not what setting up Stark Independent Publishing is about.”

Saul nodded and scribbled down something on his note pad and looked to Pepper who was leading the meeting to show he had no more questions.

Katie took a deep breath, thanked everyone for their time and sat down.

“Ok, let’s take a break.” Pepper said, glancing around the room “Grab a coffee, back here in 10 minutes for the Contract Status review.” she shot Katie a large smile as she stood up and walked out of the large Oak doors.

“Kiddo…” Tony leaned over as the various board members started to move about and chatter amongst themselves “You crushed it.”

Katie smiled at her brother as he squeezed her shoulder before standing up and shrugging on his jacket.

“Think that calls for a drink…hey, Pepper, can we…”

His voice trailed off as the boardroom door shut, leaving Katie alone. Leaning back in her chair she allowed herself a smile. That hadn’t gone too bad after all.

*****

Steve looked over to where his phone was placed on the bench by the side of the gym for what felt like the one hundredth time since midday. The meeting should be over by now.

“Expecting a call?” Natasha drawled as she sent a right hook his way which he dodged.

“It’s Katie’s pitch today.” he said, jabbing back with a forearm throw which Natasha easily twirled under “I thought it would be done by now.” In all honesty he wasn’t nervous. He knew she’d got this, the passion and the detail she’d put into it made it impossible for her not to. He’d told her as much when she’d zipped up that delectable grey pencil skirt over dark black tights and shrugged on a silky black blouse that morning after her shower. He’d told her as much when he’d kissed her goodbye at the air field. He’d told her as much when he had messaged her later that morning.

But he still wanted to know she was ok.

“The Publishing thing?” Nat asked and Steve nodded as they circled on another. “She’s a Stark, what she gotta pitch for?”

“There’s an entire board.” Steve said. “She can’t vote on it as it’s a conflict of interest. So even if Tony votes, his 35% isn’t enough against the boards 30% to hold a true majority. She needs them both onside.” “Huh.” Nat said, “No wonder you’re distracted.” “I’m not…” he began but in a swoop Natasha had his legs from under him, knee pressed against his throat, a shit eating grin spread across her face as he rolled his eyes.

“Wanna finish that sentence?” she smirked.

He took a deep breath as she stood up and then his phone began to ring. He effortlessly rolled out of Natasha’s light hold and crossed the room to pick it up.

“Hey doll.” he said, smiling. “How did it go?” “Well…” Katie began to talk, and Steve had to strain to hear her voice over the noise in the background, noise that sounded like a bar. “It could have gone worse…” “But it couldn’t have gone much better either Spangles…” Tony added from the back ground “She was fucking amazing.” “Told you.” Steve grinned, giving Natasha the thumbs up.

“Tony’s being premature.” she said “We won’t know if they’re going to agree until the end of the year but he insisted we come out for drinks anyway.”

“Pssht” Tony said in the background. “It’s nearly Christmas, can’t I treat my little sister to an afternoon on the Pier…hey, yeah can I get a…”

Steve smiled as the noise started to die down a little, Katie having moved to find a quieter spot.

“So it went well?” “Yeah. Was pointless me spending so much time on my presentation though.” she laughed “I didn’t use it in the end, went for the tried and tested Stark format of winging it.”

Steve let out a chuckle and looked back at Natasha who was watching him, an odd smirk on her face “I’m pleased it went well honey but I gotta go. I gotta finish this sparring session then I have one of those damned videos to film…” “What is it today?” Katie asked, and he could her the grin in her voice as she dropped it to mimick his own “’So, you had your first wet dream?’”

“Punk.” he shot immediately and she let out a laugh.

“Jerk”

****

“Ok, so, we all set?” Tony said, stepping forward and examining his repulsor gauntlets.

“As ready as we’ll ever be.” Katie said, straightening the Nova Star shaped buckle on her utility belt.

“Let’s just stick to the plan.” Steve looked to Katie on his right, then Tony on his left before focusing on the door in front “One group each…no distractions.”

The siblings nodded and Steve stepped forward, opening the large door. They were instantly hit with a barrage of noise as 45 kids swamped the 3 Avengers. But it was a small, olive-skinned, ebony haired girl that reached Katie first, and she bent down beaming.

“Emmy!” Katie said, pulling the small girl into a hug “Wow, you’ve gotten so big!”

“I’m 6 now.” Emmy said proudly, flashing a grin. Her front tooth was missing.

“No.” Katie shook her head “uh-uh, no way.” “I am.”

“You’re catching me up!”

Emmy let out a giggle and Katie stood up, glancing over at where Tony and Steve were surrounded by little people, all of them bouncing up and down.  Emmy, however, hung back slightly as the other children all pushed forward to hug or see Iron Man or Captain America, and she gripped Katie’s leg tighter.

“You ok?” she glanced down at the little girl who clung to her leg as she nodded.

“I want to meet Captain America.” she said quietly. “He’s your boyfriend.” “He is.” Katie nodded “Come on, I’ll take you.” Emmy took Katie’s hand and they crossed the room to where the crowd had now dispersed, the kids being shepherded into the various groups for the annual tour round the tower, which was basically one huge big supervised treasure hunt where each of them came back holding the latest games console or tablet depending on their age.

“Captain…” Katie said and Steve frowned, turning round, it had been a while since she had called him that, well outside of the bedroom anyway. As he looked at her, the tell tale flush spread up her neck into her face and he knew she’d had the same thought. Ignoring the heat in his own cheeks he looked at her and watched as she gently moved her gloved hand to the back of the dark haired girl’s head, as the kid’s hand curled round Katie’s. Her large, brown eyes glanced up at Steve shyly. “There’s someone here that wants to meet you.”

Steve smiled, his head devoid of his helmet, and he crouched down in front of the small girl as Katie did the same, dropping to her level. “Hi.” he greeted her.

“Hi…” she said softly “My name’s Emily.” “Emily, that’s a pretty name.” Steve smiled at her

“My friends call me Emmy.” she nodded.

“Can I call you Emmy?” Steve asked.

The small girl seemed to ponder for a second before she looked at Katie then back to Steve “Katie calls me Emmy. And as you’re her boyfriend I suppose that would be ok.” Steve looked at Katie who was biting her lip to stop herself from laughing and he nodded at the small girl, a smile crossing his face “Well how’s about you call me Steve then, but we keep it to ourselves. Only you and the grown ups can call me that today.”

“Mr Stark calls you Cap.” Emmy said, frowning.

“Yeah, he said grown ups.” Katie smiled “Tony is not a grown up.” Emmy let out a giggle “you’re silly Katie.” “She is.” Steve nodded and Katie stuck out her tongue  and crossed her eyes causing the small girl to laugh even harder.

“Emmy!” one of the attendees from the home called and beckoned her over “Come on or you’ll miss the treasure hunt.”

Emmy threw her arms round Steve and he momentarily paused before he gave her a hug before she ran off to join her peers.

“She’s cute…” he said, looking to Katie as they both stood up.

“Yeah I now you’re not supposed to have favourites but…” Katie sighed “I met her when she was 18 months old. She’s adorable.” “What’s her story?” Steve asked.

“Her mom died when she was 3 months old.” Katie sighed, watching as the kids were organised into a line “There were complications at birth that she never recovered from. Her dad then killed himself a few weeks later. She had no other family who were willing to take her in so she’s been in a home ever since.”

“That’s awful.” Steve frowned.

“Yeah.” Katie sighed, “Makes me realise just how lucky I was that Tony stepped up and became my guardian after mom and dad died.” she glanced at the young girl, the softness in her eyes didn’t go unnoticed by Steve as she spoke again “You know, every year I pray she doesn’t show up here. Not because I don’t want to see her but because it means she’s found a home and a family…” 

Steve smiled gently, looping an arm around her shoulders.

"Life can be shit.” he said, simply and Katie snorted.

“Yeah, it isn’t all bad though.” she mused, watching as Tony joined the front of one of the 3 lines the kids had been organised in and was looking at them all waving his hands.

“You want kids?” Katie asked, looking up at him. He took a deep breath and blew it out through his nose “Sorry…” she continued, shaking her head and rubbing her temple. “That’s a bit forward, I didn’t mean…” “I know.” Steve shook his head, understanding “And I did, before I joined the army. All I wanted was a family, stability, hold down a good job. Now, well, things went a bit crazy didn’t they?” “Tell me about it.” Katie chuckled.

“What, errr, what about you?” Steve asked.

“Eventually, maybe. But then I see all these kids here, like Emmy, who need homes and I…” she trailed off, struggling to put into words how she felt. Steve glanced down at her, a soft look on his face, but he was distracted as Emmy had returned and she was tugging on the dark material of his Uniform trousers.

“Can you be leader of our group?” she looked at Steve.

“Woah, what about me Emmy?” Katie said, her hands on her hips.

Emmy shot her a grin “You leader of my group for the last 2 years…” “Wow.” Katie smiled “You’re replacing me with Captain Dork.,.”

Emmy laughed and Steve’s mouth curled upwards.

“Captain Dork?”

Katie shrugged “The one that originally sprung to my head isn’t suitable for 6 year old ears.”

Steve let out a snort and then he looked down at Emmy and nodded. “Alright sweetie.” he said as the girl slipped her hand into his. “Lead the way.” As Katie watched them leave she was sure her ovaries had just exploded.

*****

45 kids came to the tower, 45 left. No one died, and Steve only had to throw his shield once for a demonstration. All in all the Stark Foundation Christmas Party 2013 was a roaring success.

The residents of the tower spent the next few days they had before Christmas lazing around, watching old Christmas films as Katie introduced Steve to her favourite one- “The Muppet Christmas Carol” her and Tony singing along like a pair of idiots. They decorated a tree in her apartment, headed through the streets of New York in the dark to see all the various Christmas lights, wrapped presents, spent evenings drinking hot chocolate laced with liquor and before they both knew what had happened, it was Christmas Eve and to Katie’s utter delight (and Tony’s it would seem as JARVIS informed them dryly that Mr Stark was demanding that they go outside to build snowmen) it was snowing again to top up the already substantial covering on the ground.

Steve hated being cold, a consequence of spending 70 years frozen but the childish excitement written all over Katie’s face was enough to make him brave the snow, and so, at half past 2 in the afternoon he was stood in Central Park, along with Katie, Pepper and Tony, building snowmen-which Steve was amazingly adept at, something that came as a surprise to Pepper and Tony, but not to Katie considering his artistic nature. Bruce called Tony half way through following the conclusion of whatever seminar he had been in and an hour or so later joined them, and was immediately told to judge the snowmen contest. He declared Steve the winner causing Tony and Katie to pelt the mild mannered Scientist with snowballs until his grown up façade slipped and he joined in, catching Tony with a perfectly placed lump of snow right between the eyes.

The light began to draw in and after purchasing a hot dog each from one of the stands the sounds of carols drifted to their ears so the 5 of them wandered towards the music. They found a group of singers not far from the Alice In Wonderland statue, each holding lanterns and sheets of music. They looked at one another and joined the crowd as they group began to sing Silent Night. Steve slipped his arms around Katie from behind, pulling her to his bulky, coated frame and she leaned back happily into his embrace.  His cold nose brushed against her cheek near her ear as he stooped to drop a kiss there.

“I haven’t seen a carol service since I was a boy.” he said softly.

She turned her head to look at him, the navy blue beanie he was wearing pulled down over his ears, matching scarf wrapped tightly round his chin. Yes, he hated the cold, but here he was grinning like a school boy as the snow began to fall again, because he didn’t hate any time spent with his best girl.

She placed a soft kiss on his lips. “Taking you back?”

“A little…” he smiled before she turned back to the band, as his nose nuzzled at my ear “Love you… gram mo chroi…”

The words phonetically registered in her brain, graw miu cree the Irish brogue he had spoke in made her shiver.

“Yeah that sounds really sexy and I have no idea what you just called me…” she said, tilting her head back to face him.

“You don’t speak Gaelic?” he teased.

“Italian, German, Spanish and French…but no Gaelic.” she smirked.

“Smart ass…” he rolled his eyes before chuckling slightly, his eyes leaving hers to focus on the singers again. “So what does it mean?” she pressed.

“It means you’re the love of my heart, my life.” “Smooth Rogers…” she grinned, catching his lips again.

The singers finished to a round of applause from the surrounding crowd, including wolf whistles from Tony, and the 5 of them set off back to the Tower, the streetlights bouncing off the white of the snow. Walking the 20 or so minutes back they all stopped to enjoy hot chocolates laced with lashings of brandy at a small Cafe on the corner of Park and 5th, along with roast chestnuts and mince pies. Katie smiled, remarking that it was about as clichéd a Christmas Eve you could get. And she absolutely loved it.  

Once back at the tower they all said goodnight and headed to their respective floors and apartments. Once Steve and Katie had shed their various outer layers of winter clothing, Katie instructed Jarvis to light the fire before she headed off into the bedroom before walking back out and across the hall to the larger bathroom where Steve heard her turn on the tap to the tub.

“You having a bath?” he called dropping onto the sofa.

“Warming up.” she called back, grinning as she dropped a Christmas Pudding shaped bathbomb into the tub, watching as it started to fizz, the gorgeous smells of cinnamon hitting her nostrils. Biting her lip she walked to the door of the bathroom and leaned against it calling down the hall. “Wanna join me?”

Steve heard her, and didn’t need asking twice.

He walked into the bathroom to see her drop her robe to the floor, flashing him a view of her bare back, ass, legs before she stepped into the obscenely large tub and he shed his clothes in about 5 seconds flat, climbing in behind her. She leaned back against him, his arms coming to rest naturally on the sides of the large tub.

“Why…” he began, looking at his skin “Is there glitter all over my arm?” “I used a bath bomb” Katie grinned.

“A what?”

“Things you drop in the water alongside or instead of bubble bath and they smell nice. I’ll show you another day.” she said, closing her eyes and leaning back into the warmth of the water, her head laying on his chest, her right hand gently playing with his, fingers delicately rubbing across his knuckles, palm, tangling with his.

They were silent for a while, Steve’s head lolling against the back of the tub, utterly contented to stay there until the water went cold, when Katie spoke.

"Say it again,” she said, softly, wanting to hear the words he’d said before.

He quirked a crooked smile. “Say what?”

She chuckled and bit at the corner of her bottom lip and tilted her head round so she could look at him. “The thing you said earlier… say it again.“

He didn’t’ say a word, instead he dropped his head to kiss her neck, lips laying soft kisses along her shoulders. Slowly, his right hand moved its spot on the tub to stroking her hip, down the outside of her, thigh, up again and then across to her abdomen, the subtle brush of his fingertips on her sensitive flesh set off chills of a very different kind to the one’s she’d been feeling all afternoon in the snow. Katie let her eyelids fall shut, a small sigh escaping her lips as his mouth trailed a line from her right shoulder, to the back of her neck, to her left and she swallowed thickly, a soft hum of contentment brewing in her throat.  

"Say it again,” she breathed out but still he said nothing, instead he moved his hand down her abdomen going lower and lower until he slowly began to tease her.

Katie shuddered, her breath caught again as her head fell backwards. “Say it…” she tried again, the words coming out as a desperate whisper.

His grinning face pressed to her neck and shoulder as he nipped gently. “Sorry, I’m an old man. I forget what I say sometimes.”

He knew exactly what she was after and Katie knew he did, he was just being a tease and it was driving her wild. So she decided to deploy the big guns. Her hand drifted down to find his, wrapping tightly around his wrist, stilling his touch and she turned to face him, gently straddling him, sitting on his thighs and sending a slosh of water over the side of the tub onto the tiled floor.

"You forgot that I’m the love of your life?” she said softly, eyes locking onto his.

“Doll,” he said, dropping his forehead to hers. “No one could ever make me forget that. Ever.”

Bingo. Katie felt the smile cross her face as she leaned in to kiss him. Hard.

“Then say it,” she demanded.

He reached up and tangled one hand into his hair, pulling her face down to his, kissing her hard and he muttered into her mouth, “Gram mo Chroi…”

“I love you,” Katie huffed out into his open mouth as his hands went down to her waist and he gently pulled her forwards, positioning her before he thrust upwards and she moaned, pushing down onto his lap, water lapping around them as he filled her. “I love you, more than anything” Katie nipped at his lip and coiled her fingers into his hair, drawing a hiss from his mouth as she moved again, rocking her hips, grinding down on him.

“I love you,” his ragged breaths snagged on the words as he pressed up into her harder, then harder again, his hands straying to her back, fingers sliding up and down her as he pulled her closer to him, kissing her hard before turning his lips to her neck then her chest, the trails of water and soap suds trickled down from between her cleavage to her navel. It made him groan as he looked at her, pulling her down, meeting her thrust for thrust, slowly, deeply, each loving the other in a way only they could.

He sat up, the change of angle making her purr as he hit her deeply, and he held her to him, close, chest pressed to chest as he kissed her, hands snaking up into the back of her hair which was piled messily on top of her head. Katie moaned into his mouth as he thrust upwards again, and again as she pushed down, rotating her hips against him. Slowly, deeply, loving every single inch of each other they could find. Eventually Katie felt the knot in her stomach beginning to unravel and she threw her head back in a soft cry, his name tumbling from her lips, before she fell forward, burying her head into the crook of his shoulder and neck as she caught her breath. A few more thrusts and Steve was right behind her, his body sliding down into the tub, head resting against the back, his girl tightly clutched to his chest. His hands ran up and down her back as she gave a low hum of contentment before pulling back, smoothing his hair back with her hands and smiling softly at him, before she kissed him gently.

“You know…” Steve said gently as she pressed her forehead against his “The amount of times you purr…I think I'mma start calling you kitten.“

"Thats kinda kinky…” Katie laughed and Steve grinned.

“Well, Kitten…as far as Christmas Eve’s go, this isn’t bad.”

She chuckled slightly and close her eyes. "Its been the best one I’ve ever had.”

*****

Christmas Morning was one of the few times Katie woke before Steve did. But she wasn’t surprised, it was Christmas. She was always up at the crack of dawn, had been since she was a child. Steve’s arms were wrapped around her, one leg tossed over hers doing his best koala impression as always, head buried into the back of her neck. She shifted, rolling over to face him, causing his grip to loosen slightly and simply watched him, taking in how much younger he looked with his face relaxed and how comfortable he was in sleep. She leaned over to gently place a kiss on his cheek just underneath where those ridiculously long eyelashes rested, before she rose, swapping Steve’s T-shirt for a long sleeved pair of Christmas pyjamas adorned with little snowmen and Christmas trees and headed into the living area. The tree was already lit (God bless Jarvis) as was the garland over the electric fire place and the lights in the kitchen. Katie would have fairy lights up all year if she could. Turning on the radio low, she poured some Christmas Roast into the machine and set about making pancake batter whilst popping off a cork on a bottle of Kristal to use for Bucks Fizz, the breakfast drink of champions

Steve heard her singing. Cracking an eye open he glanced at the clock, it wasn’t even gone 8 yet but he knew she would be dancing around, wide awake. He swore to God she’d been a Christmas Elf in a past life. He took a moment to stretch before he got out of bed, went to use the bathroom and came out, throwing on a pair of plaid sleep pants over his boxers before he made his way to the kitchen. He stopped dead when he saw her dancing around and had to stifle his laugh as he slipped his arms around her from behind.

“Merry Christmas sweetheart.” he said, his voice still thick with sleep as she tilted her head round to catch the kiss he was offering.

“Merry Christmas baby…” Katie said as he chuckled.

“What are you wearing?” “It’s the rules…” Katie said, turning to look at him. “On Christmas Day, in the Stark house, we all wear Christmas pyjamas and no one gets dressed until well after lunchtime and then we wear Christmas sweaters, eat dinner, lounge around and do absolutely nothing bar stuffing our faces, drinking and watching movies.”

“I don’t have any Christmas Pyjamas…or a sweater” Steve frowned. “Yeah you do…” Katie said, putting down the bowl of batter she had been whisking and grabbing his hand. She tugged him back down the hall and into the bedroom, Steve cursing her silently in his brain for as usual thinking of everything. She headed into the large walk in wardrobe and tossed him a Bloomingdale’s carrier bag. He arched an eyebrow as he reached inside pulling out first the sweater, and giving a loud groan as he examined the large reindeer on the front.

“Its nose lights up…” Katie said pressing it. At that he let out a chuckle and shook his head.

“I’m not wearing this.”

“Hey I don’t make the rules babes!”

“I never was one for rules…” he muttered, now examining the Pyjamas that were green with little red Santa Clauses all over them.

“Bullshit!” Katie laughed and he looked at her, as she fake saluted “Captain America reporting for duty, Sir!”

“Punk…” he said, shaking his head as his lips quirked upwards and he waved the clothes he was holding at her. “They’re awful.” he snorted.

“They’re supposed to be, that’s the point…” she looked at him, batting her eye lids “Don’t be a Grinch…” “I have no idea what that is.” he shook his head.

“Ok, a Scrooge then…” “I am not dressing like an idiot.” Katie opened her mouth to make a joke about stars, stripes and spandex but he cut her off instantly, spotting the look on her face. Holding up his hand he shook his head.

“Just don’t…”

After some cajoling Katie managed to convince Steve to wear the Pyjamas for the morning. Stockings were opened, Bucks Fizz and Coffee was drunk as they exchanged gifts sitting cross legged on the floor by the fire. But Steve had one last gift for her that he hadn’t wrapped as it wasn’t a Christmas gift realy, it was something he’d wanted to give her for a while now but he finally felt the time was right. He took the opportunity to retrieve it from his bag whilst she was dressing after they had eaten breakfast, grabbing the small item in his hand and crossing the room so he was stood in front of her.

There’s something else I wanted to give you.“ Steve said gently, unable to stop his eyes from straying down the top half of her body which was clad in nothing but a bra as she pulled on the large sweater. "Huh?” she her head emerged from the hole in the sweater and as she noticed him watching her she smirked, sticking her arms through the garment.  “You already did that last night Captain Sex Fiend, several times remember….” “I don’t mean…” he rolled his eyes as she started laughing before he crossed the room and stood in front of her. Katie watched as he was turning a small, circular leather box of some kind in his hand. “I found this when we were going through my stuff for the museum” he said, gently handing it to her. “I want you to have it.”

She looked down at the worn leather of the dark brown box, before pressing the small button which released the catch on the worn, dark brown leather and she carefully opened the lid. Her eyes widened as she glanced down at the delicate ring inside. The stone was a small, tear drop shaped emerald set into a yellow gold band with 3 small diamonds sat underneath the larger part of the teardrop stone. “It was my mom’s” Steve offered by explanation as she looked up at him, her eyes shining “Dad bought it for her before they left for New York, something to remind her of home …” “The Emerald Isle…” Katie said gently, smiling at him as she looked down again. “It probably isn’t worth much and I know you don’t really wear yellow gold but I was reading up that you could get it coated…” “Steve…” she looked up at him, silencing him “I wouldn’t dream of it. It’s beautiful.” And it was. All the more so because it had belonged to a woman she knew she would never meet but wished with all her heart she could. “Are you sure you want me to have it?” she asked. He nodded “She was buried with her wedding rings on but she gave me that specifically to pass to my someone special…” He trailed off as Katie smiled softly, taking the ring out of the box and slipping it onto the ring finger of her right making sure Steve knew she understood this wasn’t an engagement ring. It was a tad loose but nothing that was too drastic to stop her wearing it for the time being. “Thank you.” She said, her voice cracking slightly as she looked up into his eyes, those baby blues she knew so well were misting over “and for the record, regardless of what it’s worth or not worth, it means the world to me that you want me to have it. It’s the best Christmas present I’ve ever had”. She gently cupped his cheek in her hand before she leaned up and captured his lips in a soft kiss. “I love you.” She said gently as his nose rubbed against hers, their foreheads coming to a rest against one another. “Love you too.” He smiled, before giving her another quick kiss. “Enough to wear the sweater? She pulled back, her arms snaking round his neck as his hands dropped to her waist. He glanced at the one she was wearing which made her look like a giant Christmas tree and let out a long groan. He really didn’t want to wear the hideous Christmas sweater, but as he looked at her she made those eyes, those goddamned eyes that could get him to do whatever she wanted and he just couldn’t say no to her. "Fine I’ll wear the sweater…" 

******

“Katie looks nice.” Bruce commented.

"Nice,” Rhodey repeated “She looks unbelievable. Mind you I still remember her as an 18 year old student with blue streaks in her hair…”

Steve smiled as he watched Katie from where he was propped up against the bar talking to Rhodey and Bruce. She was mingling alongside her brother, talking to a group of people from Stark Industries. He saw her throw her head back in a laugh that was ridiculously over the top yet somehow she managed to make it look perfectly natural. He knew his girl was a knock out. But when he had seen her earlier that evening when her and Natasha had been getting ready he had been lost for words. The dress she had agonised over hung to her every curve, skin bare at her back. Her hair was set in soft, thick waves which framed her face. Her lips were painted in a smiliar red to her dress and the thick, smoky shadow and eyeliner over her lids made her green eyes stand out even more. As he watched, the dark haired, slightly overweight man she was stood next to dropped a hand to the bottom of her back and she turned to smile at him, gently patting his shoulder before she glanced over as Steve, rolled her eyes and mouthed “help me.” He let out a chuckle “Scuse me fellas…” and he strode across the room.

“Ah, the man of the moment.” Tony greeted him, “We were just talking about you.” “Oh?” Steve said, dropping a kiss to Katie’s cheek. “You ok sweetheart?”

He didn’t even have to shoot Mr Wandering Hands a glare, the man instantly moved away as Katie stepped gently towards Steve, his hand curling around her waist.

“Yeah.” Tony nodded “Sorry, Cap this is Jeremy Saul, Finance Director for Stark Industries. Jeremy was just asking where you were.” “I couldn’t believe for one second this gorgeous lady would be here on her own” Jeremy smiled offering his hand. Steve’s left hand gripped Katie’s hip a little tighter and she smirked into her champagne flute as he shook Jeremy’s hand with his right. “Good to meet you Captain Rogers.” “Jeremy is part of the board.” Katie said, levelling Steve with a look. A look that was blatantly telling him to be nothing but charming as Mr Wandering Hands could veto her proposal. So Steve was. He politely listened to the man, answered questions and nodded along until Wandering Hand’s attention was diverted elsewhere and he excused himself from their company, but only after dropping a lingering kiss to Katie’s cheek.

“Slimeball.” she muttered when he had gone “I swear to God Tony, it’s only a matter of time before someone files a sexual harassment case against him.” Tony snorted “Until he does something outta line he’s staying Kiddo. For one thing he is good at his job, and for another I don’t fancy the rigmarole and bad press associated with a tribunal.”

“Mr Stark…” Happy called to him. Tony spun round to see the man tapping at his watch and gesturing to the stage.

“Better go before Happy has a heart attack, can’t have my speech being 30 seconds late.” Tony rolled his eyes and he span on his heels, striding over to Happy, placating the man who as making furious gestures with his hands.

Katie chuckled to herself and grabbed another 2 glasses of champagne off a waiter as he passed, dropping her empties onto the tray. She handed one to Steve who dropped a kiss to her head.

“I know I said it before but you really do look incredible.” he smiled. He still couldn’t believe his luck at times. She beamed up at him.

“And you.” she smiled, and she meant it. He looked good enough to eat in a well fitted black tux and slightly off-white dress shirt, along with the cufflinks she had given him the previous year. She had watched him before as he looked himself up and down in the mirror and now, looking him over as he stood by her, she felt her stomach flutter again. A wicked smirk crossed her face “Can you leave the suit on later?”

He was about to quip back that he’d do whatever the hell she wanted if she left those heels on too, but there was suddenly loud music blaring out and the light on the stage all started moving around zooming in and zooming out.

Katie, upon hearing the music gave a loud scoff “Egotistical dick!” she said, unable to hide the laugh in her voice.

“I don’t…” Steve began but she shook her head.

“You won’t” she smirked “It’s by a band called Queen- One Vision. Listen to the lyrics and you’ll understand why he chose it!”

The introduction music finished and the screen sprang to life at the back of the stage showing Iron Man flying over the tower in New York, and as the first lines of the song sounded in Steve’s ear he let out a snort. One man, one goal, One mission. One heart, one soul, Just one solution.

Yeah, he knew exactly why Tony had chosen it.

The video continued, various bits of footage of Tony in the Iron Man suit, in the office, then there were some of Pepper in the office, Katie, the Avengers…it was all very showy for want of a better word, but at the end of the music it abruptly stopped and Tony stepped onto the stage, right hand held up, thanking everyone for the applause that had broken out. Steve noticed that Katie wasn’t clapping, instead she was shaking her head and trying not to laugh.

To give Stark his dues, Steve could see the man knew how to work a crowd. Just like he had seen Howard do many, many years ago. He welcomed everyone, thanked them for coming and talked about the company achievements for the year, the declared turn over, the charity work and thanked everyone for their continued work making Stark Industries a huge success. Katie however had zoned out until she heard her name being mentioned, and Steve nudging her lightly with his elbow.

“Where are you Kiddo?” Tony repeated

Katie’s eyes grew wide “Oh fuck…” she muttered shrinking into Steve as the spotlight found them.

Tony beamed, looking at his sister as she was flushing bright red from being the centre of attention. “I’d like to boast for a few moments about my sister if I may. As you will know, Katie and I lost our parents when Katie was only 7 years old and some wise guy deemed me responsible enough to become her legal guardian.” There were some chuckles “But I can’t have done too bad a job. She graduated with a first from Oxbridge and worked in England as our Head of Commercial in the UK, kicked some alien ass last year, and more recently left to serve if you will, as an analyst for an Intelligence Agency before resigning a few months back due to a difference of opinion with the boss…”

“That’s one way of putting it.” Steve muttered, causing Katie to smile a little.

“She seems to have sorted her private life out too, got herself a mother’s or should that be brother’s dream of a boyfriend…how’s it going Cap?” Steve rolled his eyes and felt his cheeks flush as the attention turned to him, chuckles ringing out across the room and Katie cringed even more, her face was smiling but her eyes were shooting daggers at Tony.

Tony didn’t care. He simply smirked, took a deep breath and beamed at his sister, continuing “As of yesterday the Stark Industries board voted in favour of a proposal Katie brought to the-” “What?!” Katie spluttered, loudly, as she glanced up at Steve who was beaming down at her, then to Tony who was on the stage, laughs ringing around the room at her reaction

“Yes Kiddo, they voted in favour of you proposal, which means next year sees the opening of Stark Independent Publishers, headed up by Katie. This is a great opportunity for anyone in the business who would like a change in direction and to be involved so we will be opening positions up internally before we advertise. Keep your eyes peeled.” Katie gulped, her eyes wide. They’d accepted her proposal. She was officially in business.

**** The party carried on through the night, and about 15 minutes or so before midnight Katie, feeling the effects of various drinks grabbed Steve’s hand and pulled him onto the dance floor. A dance with his girl is something he’d never disagree to so he allowed himself to be steered into the throng of partygoers. He moved a little closer to her, slightly put off by all the people surrounding them. But his arms found their way around her waist, hers snaked around his neck and they began swaying to the music. The song finished and the music changed pace slightly, but their slow rocking motion remained the same and then Steve realised what the song was.

“Hey…” he grinned and she looked up at him with a small smile. “This is our song.”

“I asked them to play it.” she said, a little sheepishly, but this only made him pull her closer so that their foreheads were resting together before he rubbed his nose gently against hers as the music crashed over them. Steve adjusted his and her arms so they were in a proper dancing hold and they swayed to the song, just as they had done those months ago in her living room.

Tony was watching them out of the corner of his eye as he revolved Pepper around the dancefloor.

“Stop it.” Pepper said, laughing at him.

“What?” he said, his attention suddenly 100% on his woman.

“Watching them.” she looked at him, knowingly. Tony smiled, not even trying to hide it anymore, as he looked over at where his sister was dancing, her cheek was resting on Steve’s chest, top of her head tucked underneath his chin, as she laughed at something he said, tilting her head up to look at him and the smiling captain dropped a soft kiss to her lips.

“I’ve never seen her so happy Pep.” he said fondly as he watched the pair of them dancing together.

“I reckon they’ll make great babies.” Pepper teased, causing Tony to choke on nothing and look at her.

“What…why would…is she…” Pepper let out a laugh and shook her head “Not that I know of but they’re in it for keeps. I can tell. He’ll have a ring on it by this time next year.” “Well, so might I…” Tony teased and Pepper looked at him, smirking.

“Yeah, don’t bank on that.” she laughed “I told you, we’re not ready for that yet.”

“Kiddo is 14 years younger than me.” Tony pouted.

“And 14 years more mature.” Pepper smirked as the song drew to an end.

“Miss Potts you are breaking my heart…” Tony said, dropping a kiss to her lips. She smiled and gently pulled away from him, patting his chest and heading to the bar.

The band finished that song and then there was a loud cheer as the large clock on the screen began to count down, Steve and Katie moved to one of the windows to get a look over the city. As the room erupted as the countdown finished, Steve turned to the woman in his arms and smiled at her gently.

“Happy New Year baby girl.” he said softly.

“Happy New Year Handsome” she beamed, as his lips met hers.

**** Don’t forget to check out Love In An Elevator- A Stark Spangled Kinks one shot which sits along side this chapter...and a little bonus drabble When You Know, You Know, for their morning after.

Tags

@the-Omni-princess

@momobaby227

@geekofmanythings16

#steve rogers x original female character #steve rogers x oc #steve rogers #captain america #tony stark #iron man #marvel #marvel fanfiction #mcu #mcu fanfiction #fanfic #avengers #avengers fanfiction #christmas fanfic #smut

[puckinghell]

Please (don’t) say you love me | Auston Matthews

Plot: Those three little words might be the scariest of all Word count: 1.6k Note: I don’t even really like this myself but I’m gonna post it anyway. Based on a Gabriella Aplin song that I’m obsessed with. Also, why can’t I ever seem to write anything but angst for Auston? 

You didn’t say it back.

Instead, you said: “Please don’t say that.”

You knew your words had hit him harder than anyone on the ice ever had, saw your words cut through him like a knife, saw his face fall as he stuttered: “Say what?”

The situation had gotten out of hand so quick. Auston had a busy week and so you’d decided to cook him some dinner after practice. You’d let yourself in with the key that he hit under the mat (no matter how many times you’d told him that anyone would know to look under the mat), brought your own groceries because lord knew he wouldn’t have anything in his fridge, and then you’d started on your mom’s lasagne recipe.

If only you’d realized his oven was a little bit different from yours, and you’d accidentally put it on grill. When he finally came home, after a long day, he came home to his kitchen filled with smoke.

“I tried to cook,” you’d pouted, “but I burned it and now it smells like fire in here.”

He’d simply chuckled and kissed your forehead. “You’re lucky I love you,” he’d mumbled, and that’s when it had all gone to shit.

It wasn’t that you didn’t care about him. In fact, he was the first guy you dated that you could actually see a future with. That you believed in a future with. But the past had left you scarred and many bad experiences had taught you to fear that belief, fear that feeling of comfort and warmth and, well, love.

Love absolutely terrified you.

It didn’t mean that your heart didn’t skip when he looked at you, it was just that things were going great between you without that pressure, and why would you want to change that?

Why did he have to change that?

And now he was looking at you with confusion in his dark eyes, eyebrows knit together. He didn’t look mad, he looked hurt. And that was so much worse.

“Just, please don’t say you love me,” you said, your voice small.

“I didn’t… I… Oh.” Realization dawned on Auston’s face. He hadn’t even realized he’d said it, those words he knew you were so scared of hearing. It had just slipped out, as he’d known was only a matter of time. When someone felt the way he felt about you, it was simply impossible to keep it to yourself.

He’d tried so hard, had listened to your stories about your past, about how your parents had never loved each other, even though they said it every day, about how your ex had broken up with you only a few nights after he first told you those three little words. He’d listened and he’d understood, back then, that it was going to take a lot for you to open yourself up to him like that. But you’d been dating for months and how was he supposed to hide his feelings for you? Hide how his heart fluttered when you laughed, how warmth spread through his stomach when he touched you, how his mind seemed to be focused on you 24/7?

“I would apologize,” he said, his voice tight, “but I shouldn’t have to apologize for loving my girlfriend.”

There was that word again. Your stomach clenched and it felt like your heart had made its way to your throat.

“Auston…”

“No, you know what?” Auston interrupted, and now he was angry. Angry and hurt. “This is ridiculous.” He turned around and stalked through the kitchen, to the hallway. You followed him, but didn’t speak. Anything you would say would make it worse, right now.

Tears were welling up in your eyes. You didn’t want to hurt him, never wanted to hurt him. But at the same time, every fiber in your being was screaming at you that in the end, you’d be the one to get hurt.

“I know you don’t want to hear it,” he growled, while yanking his coat off the coat rack, “but it’s how I feel, and I feel like I’m lying to you every time I stop myself from telling you. So you can decide what you want to do with this, you can decide if you want to run. But, Y/N, I love you. And I’m all in here.” He paused. “Are you?”

Tears spilled over your cheeks as the door slammed behind him.

You went home crying that night, and didn’t sleep for even a minute. Your mind kept wandering to Auston. Would he be home yet? Was he sleeping? Did he hate you?

You wouldn’t blame him if he did.

You thought about everything that had happened to you before you met him, thought about those three little words. I love you. Such a short sentence, took not even two seconds to say it, and yet it changed everything.

But did it?

All you knew was that last time, you’d rushed in, rushed in like a fool, jumped in head first ignoring all the warning signs your gut was throwing your way, and you got burned.

And this time, this time it was even more scary. Cause with Auston, it was something that you’d never felt before. This time, you felt like maybe, it could be the real thing. So if you rushed in again, would you force the same ending?

Maybe Auston didn’t even want to see you anymore. Maybe by not saying it back, you’d already forced your own ending. You weren’t so sure if that hurt any less.

You went on autopilot when your alarm clock finally rang; didn’t register the taste of breakfast or the clothes you picked out, didn’t remember how you got to work or how you managed to get through the day. All you knew was that every time you checked your phone, you were met with the same empty lock screen.

No messages.  

It was nearly 4 pm when your phone pinged. You reached for it so quick you nearly knocked over your colleague’s coffee cup. She huffed in annoyance, but you didn’t even hear her. However, the text wasn’t from Auston. Instead, it was from Mitch.

Is Matts with you? He didn’t show up for practice

It was like all the blood in your veins ran cold. Auston would never voluntarily miss practice, no matter what was going on between you two. He’d gone to practice with a high fever, he’d go to practice with a broken heart.

You texted Mitch back, that you didn’t know where he was but that you would go check his apartment. Your shift didn’t end until 6, but you couldn’t force yourself to care, as you ran to your car.

If Auston skipped practice, something was seriously wrong.

You reached his apartment in record speed; you might be expecting a speeding ticket, but it was worth it. However, when you lifted the mat, there was no key there. That’s when you remembered. You’d left it inside his apartment yesterday.

You banged on the door, rang the doorbell, begged him to open up, but were met with nothing. No sound, no movement, and finally, you accepted that he wasn’t home.

A million scenarios running through your head, ranging from bad to worse, you sank down against the door of his apartment, sitting on the floor. You hid your face in your hands as you tried to swallow away the lump in your throat.

It didn’t happen to you often, but at that moment, you had absolutely no idea what to do. As far as you knew, your boyfriend was dead in a ditch somewhere, and the last thing you’d ever told him was to stop loving you. Well, to stop saying that he loved you, but wasn’t that kind of the same thing?

“Y/N?”

It took a few seconds for your brain to register the familiar voice, to connect the dots and understand the implications, but then your head snapped up.

“Aus.” It came out more as a whimper as suddenly, it was impossible to stop the tears from falling, and you jumped up and catapulted yourself towards him, momentarily forgetting all about the past 24 hours. Auston caught you, wrapped his arms around you as he pulled you close, letting you bury your face in his shirt.

“Shh, hey, what’s wrong?” he asked. And you almost laughed. Instead, you cried more. He didn’t let go of you, just softly moved you towards his front door. You heard the click of the key in the lock but didn’t see it, your nose still pressed against his neck, his heartbeat against your chest. He was there, he was fine, and that’s all that mattered.

You were maneuvered inside and the door shut behind you, and then Auston just held you.

“It’s okay,” he whispered, “I’m here.”

When you finally calmed down enough, you pulled away. “You missed practice.”

It was a silly way to explain your mental breakdown, but as always, Auston knew exactly what you meant.

“I overslept, forgot to set my alarm. When I woke up practice was half over, so I just went on a run instead.” He motioned to the workout gear he was currently wearing. “I already texted Mitchy. Did he send you?”

“Not really, he just said you weren’t there, and I was worried.” You sighed, reaching forward to take his hands in yours. You half expected him to pull them away, half expected him to tell you to just get out, but he didn’t. Instead, he squeezed your hands.

You pulled your lip between your teeth, your heart hammering in your chest.

“Aus, I’m so sorry about yesterday.”

He shook his head. “You don’t have to say sorry. I knew you weren’t ready for that. I shouldn’t have pushed it.” He looked at you, studied your face, as if he was looking for signs that he was crossing the line, going too far again, as he continued. “I know you care about me. That’s all I need to know.”

And you knew that was true; you cared, you cared so much that the thought of him being hurt had sent you into a crazy fit.

The thing was, when you cared that much, if anything went wrong, it was going to hurt anyway. It didn’t matter whether those words had been spoken, you were already there, already in the territory of hurt.

And that realization washed a wave of relief over you like no other.

“What are you thinking about?” Auston asked, and you only now saw that he was nervous.

“That I’m so stupid,” you answered, and his grip on you tightened.

“You’re not stupid.”

“But I am. Aus, if this ends between us, it’s going to hurt like hell.”

He raised an eyebrow. “I know that.”

“But I didn’t. I thought if only I didn’t say those words, it meant I didn’t feel it. But that’s not how that works. I can say it, or not say it, but it doesn’t change the truth, and it doesn’t change the outcome.”

With your words, he started to understand where you were going, and a careful smile appeared on his face.

“That’s true.” He paused. “Are you still scared?”

“Terrified,” you admitted. “You?”

“Yeah, me too.”  

You took a deep breath, leaned in a bit closer. “Say it again.”

“Say what again?” There was a teasing edge to his voice now, but you ignored it.

“Please say you love me.” The vulnerability was clear in your voice and it made Auston want to wrap you up in his arms and never let go, never let anything hurt you, never let anything made you feel that insecure about love again. Instead, he pressed his lips against your cheek.

“I love you,” he whispered against your skin.

Your heart jumped, but you ignored it. Instead, you reached for his cheek, turning his face so he was looking right at you.

“I love you too.”

#auston matthews #auston matthews imagine #auston matthews one shot #nhl one shot #nhl imagine #nhl writing #hockey one shot #hockey imagine #toronto maple leafs imagine #toronto maple leafs one shot

[plunder-heaven-and-devour-god]

In which I continue with my english lit rant but much shorter:

So because my brain needs to think about other things I’m going to keep talking about Measure for Measure.

So a week into the painting I’m doing for Measure for Measure has given me ample time to think about what symbols, themes, and motifs to visually represent. This has also forced me to mull over parts of the play, its problem parts for the most part. Because there is a historicist reading, religious, psychosexual, feminist, capitalist, and folkloric reading I had to think about which to concentrate on. Translating my emotional reaction to the version I saw in comparison with other adaptations can be tricky.

Which is why, like the play, I tried to make ambivalent representations. I borrowed the hair yank from the Ian Richardson’s Angelo because it has those sadomasochistic overtones, but there is an element to Isabellas reaction that plays the line between the psychosexual and the feminist reading. Those readings being 1) Maybe the interplay between the restraint of faith and sex does do something for ISabella 2) Angelo as a sexual predator.

Now you might be saying: “why would you try to blur the lines between “maybe she likes it” and “Sexual Predator”. 

1) The text itself does that, that isn’t production dependent.

2) IT’s a valid interpretation in a modern interpretation BECAUSE the interplay between the feminist reading and the psychosexual is carried through in the text, It was in the still very feminist version I saw, BUT the degree of assault is determined by the adaptation. 

That being said, the Oregon Shakespeare production of it, is C H I L L I N G. Like, genuinely strikes me cold with fear to the degree to which they say: this is rape. And I think there absolutely needs to be a version of Measure for Measure like this. But the version I saw puts Angelo down to pathetic, and less of an utter monster.

WHY IS THIS IMPORTANT

BECAUSE ISABELLA HAS TO FORGIVE HIM AT THE END.

THAT IS IN THE TEXT. THE SEXUAL ASSAULT IS NOT. 

Again, have the heavy feminist reading that includes the sexual assault. The structure of this play means that it will make mostly sense the whole way through and we need that version.

HOWEVER. 

IT really does beg the question: can sexual assault ever be portrayed properly on stage or in film? I am not here to answer that, I am but a humble hyper fixated worm, but! It does make a difference, because even watching David Tennant force a kiss on Isabella made me think: UHHH THIS MIGHT BE PUSHING IT. 

And I, personally, don’t love a version of the play which is Angelo nearly sexually assaulting her and then she finds it in her to forgive him for it. Depending on how violent and atrocious it is? N O ! NO NO NO! I don’t want to watch that near rape and have her spare his life. The version I saw, he more or less prostrated himself at her feet, held her hand, and pathetically buckled at every touched, and at most, kept his distance as he followed her around the stage. This makes Isabella forgiving him later feel??? More realistic, because in this sense hes an immoral wretch, a pathetic worm, and HOW DARE HE. Instead of an honest to god rapist, and at that point forgiving him would feel disingenious even by Shakespeare Jacobean era.

So I try to keep it implied in my painting (and wow you know im trying to get away from twitter if Im giving you a fine arts self critique) which I feel is better for one image. If I ever got the chance to adapt it I would probably make Angelo feel somewhere between pathetic, domineering, and submissive. If that makes sense? Like, if the religious reading is in keeping with this, then it would be like an angel *madonna plays in the background* TOUCHED FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME. 

Anyways this is why when Martha Henry played Isabella in the 1970s she wiped herself down post Interview #2 out of disgust or heat? WE DON’T KNOW. And I learnt this straight from the Stage Manager Nora Polley (who has a book called Whenever You’re Ready which you should get because it has some of her most amazing experiences working for the Stratford Festival). 

The Snake?!

WELL!

IT WAS ON THE SHIRT I BOUGHT AT SHAKESPEARE IN THE PARK. And its Isabella as Justice with her balances, her eyes obscured by a snake, who has slithered up the body. To which I freaked because it’s such a good visual representation. BUT ALSO? snake? In the Garden of Eden. And if we are talking Angelo as a fallen angel? Thats the extent of my input there. 

They also played sexually religious songs? Like? Hozier, Depeche Mode, Madonna. Twas all there, and if I ever did a film (it’s my pipe dream to go GDT and just make films of my obsessions) I would also make my film with sexual religious songs. 

Uh so thats all i got. Wow, a lot less than my last english lit breakdown.

Anyways Billy Shakes wanted us to be sexually attracted to some of his villains, idk if Angelo was one, but Richard III, Edmund, the Macbeths, those he kinda intended.

#measure for measure

[bowsie22]

Malex Collection 1

Summary: Alex makes a split-second decision to protect the siblings. Warning: Character death.

Flashback

It happened so fast, that was what surprised Michael. Not what happened, but how fast it happened.

“You can’t just kill three people. The town will notice them missing. For Christ’s sake, Max is a deputy sheriff.”

His father didn’t waver, gun pointed at the siblings. Alex should know him better at this stage than to think he’ll give up.

“It doesn’t matter. I’ll tell everyone the truth. That they are murderers! They should all be killed anyway, executed. I’m doing the town a favour. They’ll thank me.”

Alex sighed, knowing his father wouldn’t listen to reason at this stage. He was too far gone. Since he left town, his father had become more unhinged, more obsessed with the trio.

“Look Alex, I know Michael got his claws into you and warped you to his side-“

Michael moved forward, ready to defend his relationship with the man he loved. Alex waved him back. He could take care of his father.

“But with him gone, you’ll come back to our family and everything will be ok again. You’ll be ok, we’ll all be ok. All I need to do is get rid of these three.”

He cocked his gun, trying to decide who to shoot first. He knew that if he killed the girl, he’d have two pissed off younger men on his hands. And Alex was useless, he’d never fight Michael. Which meant that Michael had to be the first to die. He aimed the gun at the younger man’s head.

“I’m sorry son, but this is for the best, you’ll see.”

“I know it is dad. I’m sorry too.”

A shot rang through the air. Jesse swore as he raised a hand to the bleeding wound on his chest, collapsing to the floor. Alex stepped over his body, moving to check on his friends.

“You’re right dad, this is for the best.”

It had been two days since then and Michael was still waiting for Alex to react to what he had done. But the other man seemed fine. He got up each morning, did his physio, went to work. He went to his therapy appointment, came home and cooked dinner. Their conversations were about Michael’s siblings, their days at work, normal things. Michael knew it wouldn’t last; it was just a question of when the breakdown would happen.

A week later and Alex still hadn’t reacted. After speaking to Liz and Isobel, Michael realised that he needed to take the first step. He lit a fire and ordered Alex’s favourite take out, knowing it would be a difficult conversation. He looked up as the door opened, greeting Alex with a kiss, leading the other man to the couch.

“Someone’s eager. You ok?”

“I’m fine. But I think we need to talk.”

“About what happened last week?”

“Yeah. I mean, you killed your father Alex, and you seem fine. That’s not normal. Are you ok?”

Alex was silent, thinking about his answer. He reached out to grab Michael’s hand, twining their fingers together, thumb stroking the back of the other man’s hand.

“It’s not a decision I regret. Between you and my father Michael, I will always choose you.”

Michael couldn’t help himself, he had to kiss Alex after that. With a small laugh, Alex pulled away, resting his forehead against Michael’s.

“He was never my father. He abused me for years, hurt you and your family and nearly killed you and your siblings. And I know I haven’t reacted and that terrifies me. I’m not sad that I killed my father. I’m angry at him for putting us in that situation, but I know if given the choice, I’d make the same decision again. I’m scared that this means I’m turning into him. That I’m going to become hateful and violent, that I might hurt you. And I can’t live with myself if I did that. I killed a man and felt nothing, how is that normal? How is that ok? There has to be something wrong with me, right?”

Michael pulled the crying man into a tight hug, Alex burying his face in Michael’s shoulder, trying to muffle his sobs.

“You will never be like him. You’re a good man Alex. He wanted to kill us because he hated us, you killed him to save us. God Alex, you’ve been through so much in your life. Your father was an abusive asshole, you went to war, you saw friends die and then you got a life changing injury. But no matter what happened, no matter how much shit life threw at you, you stayed good and kind. That is how I know you’re not like him. Because no matter what happens to you or the people you care about, you come out the other side still generous and loving and amazing. You are not your father. And you never will be.”

Alex moved away from Michael, wiping the tears from his face, snorting when he saw Michael crying as well.

“When did we get to emotional?”

“Love does that to you.”

“Yeah, I guess it does. I do love you Guerin.”

Michael pulled the other man into his arms, pressing a soft kiss to the wet cheeks, stroking a comforting hand up and down the crying man’s back. He knew that it wouldn’t be easy. This wasn’t something Alex could talk to his therapist about, so Michael had to be there for him. And he would be. Michael would always be there for Alex; it was a given.

“I love you too Alex. Always.”

A/N Feel free to drop a prompt in my ask box. It might take a dew days, but it will be completed!

#malex #michael guerin #alex manes

[primal-screamer-blog1]

Ruby loved being under the red lights. She was Mexican and Japanese, a tiny, bronzed, energetic spitfire with wide hips and impossibly long legs.  Legs that drove men from all over California to see in the flesh.  And after hours on the 405 for a long L.A. weekend, flesh was exactly what they wanted. They’d line up and lay down hundreds for her to crawl into their laps, wrap her long athletic legs around their necks and writhe on top of them.  And Ruby wasn’t the only one drawing a crowd; Seventh Veil was home to some of the most sought after women in Los Angeles.  Between Ruby, Roxanne, Alexis, Lola, Kenzie and Jade, the headlining girls of Seventh Veil were just as well known, if not moreso, than the boys in the bands that they all dated.  In their big cars, with their big hair, they commanded the strip, bringing in money, men and any excess they could ever want. Naturally there was a cover charge. “C’mon, what about $10? I got a 10.”  Nikki pleaded with the bouncer, a tall, muscular man named Rob who wore all black and had a tattoo of a shark on his neck. “How you gonna afford to tip these girls if you can’t even get in the door, kid?” If it were anyone else, Rob would’ve had Nikki out on his ass for talking him down to half price.  But Nikki had been coming around for as long as Ruby had been working there; all the boys in Motley Crue had.  The rock n’ roll of the strip had quickly become the lifeblood of the clubs.  He knew Nikki was trouble, but not the kind of trouble he would ever have to worry about. “I’m gonna tip, I’m just not gonna be here for too long is all.  One dance and I’m out, I swear.” “Nikki!  Please. Spare me the sob story.  You could have any of these girls all over you for free anytime you want. Why are you trying to pay for a lap dance?” Nikki sighed and tried to look inside over Rob’s shoulder.  He couldn’t see past the obnoxious fake smoke that fogged up the entryway.   “I just gotta talk to Ruby.” “Yeah?” Rob laughed. “You and ‘bout every other red blooded male in California. She making you pay for it all of a sudden?”“I don’t pay for shit, man.  Look, this is the only place I can talk to her without her trying to fucking kill me. I got a show tonight anyway, I swear I'm in and I’m out.” Nikki held two fingers up. Rob shrugged and lifted the red velvet rope separating the two of them.   “You got an hour.” “You fucking rock, man.” Through the plaster Arabian palace archway and neon signage, Nikki made for the bar.  If this conversation were going to go the way he wanted it to, he’d need their tallest, cheapest shot.  Leaned against the bar top, Roxanne was on her break, sipping a diet coke and flipping through a copy of  Cosmopolitan.   “Nikki?” Her melodic voice called over to him.  She smiled and waved him over with a manicured hand.  Roxanne was a tall, slim strawberry blonde with big blue eyes and big tits.  She wore white cowboy boots and a red one piece with blue and white fringe, a costume she’d come up with for her “American Woman” number that Tommy really loved.  He also loved her freckles.  Nikki wrapped her in a short hug and let his hand rest on her hip.  “Hey Roxanne.” “You haven’t been here in a  while  , Nikki!  Where’ve you been? Making Tommy wander out all on his own!” She had a sweet, southern accent that always made him smile. “I’m sure Tommy’s doing just fine without me.” “We make sure he has fun out here.” She giggled and sucked down nearly half her diet coke, letting out a tiny burp.  It made sense that her and Tommy got on as well as they did.  “Does Ruby know you’re here?” “Not yet.  Was hoping to chill out a little bit before talking to her.” “You comin’ to apologize?” “Apologize for what?” He gave her a shy grin. “Oh c’mon, Nikki.  You’re on the shit list and you know it.  She told us all about what you did.”  “She did?” He winced.“Been talkin about it since she got here.” She went behind the bar and poured him a tall glass of Jack and Coke.  “On the house.  You’re gonna need it.” “Is she that mad?” He took the mixing straw and tossed it in the trash, taking a big swing instead. “Boot in the head didn’t let you know?” “Okay.  Point taken.  I’m an asshole.” “Just say you’re sorry, Nikki.  It’s not a big word.  She’ll forgive you.” “Where’s she at?” “On stage, dummy.”  Roxanne giggled and pointed behind him. Ruby was crawling down the catwalk towards the tip bar where a cute blonde boy held two twenties in the air.  The room was full, men talking and laughing, pinching Alexis or Lola on their asses as they worked the room while Ruby danced.  She wore a studded red leather harness on top of a black g-string pulled high up above her ass and a black satin bra. Her strappy black stilettos brought her tiny 5’3 frame to 5’7 and her long black ponytail, teased up high made her look even taller.  Up in lights, she unfolded herself into a split to “Slave” by the Rolling Stones.  She tucked the boys money into her g-string and fell back into him, laughing and wriggling in his lap.  Next to him, his drunk friend howled and threw a handful of ten dollar bills on her chest.  She pulled herself up on stage and spun around on the pole before pulling her bra down to reveal a set of black sequined pasties. She fell down into another split, tossing her bra at the high tippers. Nikki stood back and watched her.  He’d seen her dance plenty of times before; they met outside three years ago trying to buy drugs from each other.  Nikki always loved seeing a hot woman dance, but something about watching Ruby specifically was fun for him.  She danced the same way she played music.  When she took the stage, she showed something vulnerable and something wild that he’d never seen in a woman.  Raised to adhere to strict social conservatism, Ruby was brought up in the elite high society of Manhattan.  It was a complete accident that, while attending an all girls boarding school, she was introduced to Black Sabbath and AC/DC records.  Every Tuesday after her SAT prep, Ruby’s mom paid a 19 year old college student to teach Ruby classical piano.  In reality, she was learning to play ‘Crocodile Rock’ and memorizing the names of singers in metal bands.  In no time, she was sneaking out to meet punk boys at hip, underground parties in Brooklyn where she saw bands like the Stooges and the Ramones.  It was when the Germs toured through the city that a young Lorna Doom handed off a copy of California punk zine  Flipside   to Ruby.  After that, she became obsessed with maps of Los Angeles and would harass the local record store to bring in X tapes every time she went in.  When she turned 17, a boy she was dating put on a copy of a barely formed Black Flag’s single  Nervous Breakdown.   “Holy shit.” They were angry, they were weird and they were unlike anything she’d heard before.  She packed her bags and sold her bike to buy a Greyhound ticket across the country.  Seventh Veil was the first place that would take in a skinny 18 year old with no home, no references and no clue.  After being at an all girls school for so long, she took to the locker room camaraderie immediately.  She went from timid and awkward to bold and brash, someone unafraid who knew how to make space and make noise.  Spinning around the pole or swinging a microphone, whenever Ruby was on the stage, she gave her all to stake her claim in what she’d built for herself.  When she danced, Nikki could see all that liberation in the smile on her face. So it was a little disappointing to see that smile falter as she caught sight of him. She staggered a bit as they locked eyes and awkwardly moved to the other side of the stage, regaining composure away from his glance.  When she came back around, Nikki had grabbed a seat up front next to the blonde and his friend.  Ruby flipped her ponytail to hide her eye roll and crawled over to him.   “What do you want?”  She said just loud enough for him to hear, sliding down onto her elbows and pushing her ass in the air for the rest of the audience. “I wanna talk to you.” “No way.  Go home, Nikki.” “How about a private dance then?” “Fuck you!”  She pulled herself up onto her knees and tugged the straps of her leather harness down.  Nikki placed a hundred dollar bill on stage. “Come talk to me.” Nikki didn’t seem to understand what he was asking.  She stood up and threw one long leg over his shoulder and dragged his seat in closer.  She slid down into his lap so that she straddled him, one thigh pressed up against his arm in a flexible fold.  Her nipples, covered up with pasties, pressed against his chest.  The guys next to them whooped and tossed stacks of dollar bills into Nikki’s lap as she wrapped her other leg around his waist. He was instantly hard. She tangled her fingers into his knotted black hair and purred into his ear. “Are you really trying make a scene, Sixx?”  She pulled back and looked up into his eyes.  His expression had a slight glaze, his mouth dropped open.  His hands rested nervously on her hips.  The answer, she could see from his hesitation, was no.  Nikki was known for his impulse - it’s what they bonded over.  They spent their nights buried in drugs and living out their highs with fireworks, bar fights and loud music, bringing them to early mornings of come downs, shivers and heightened emotions.  Cocaine addled conversations birthed ideas for Motley Crue and eventually led to Ruby forming her own band, The Plastix.  They talked books and broken homes, b movies and beat poets, deep dark fears and depraved, debased perversions.  But whenever they would come too close, whenever things got too heavy, Nikki would pull away.  He would tug up his sleeves and show his scars, recount memories to the point of tears, but if she ever moved to soothe him, he flinched.  Nikki was always unknowingly crying out for help, but his problem was he never knew what to do once he got it.  It was why she stopped giving him so many chances; she knew he would never take them. She felt bad for him. “Fine.  Let’s talk.”  She pressed her forehead to his and pulled away.  She finished her number with a final upside down spin down the pole and motioned for Jade - a vampy brunette - to take her spot on stage. Ruby stepped behind the zebra print curtain backstage and emerged a few minutes later in a black sweatshirt and leg warmers with a drink in each hand.  She led Nikki to the VIP lounge - a purple velvet couch and a clear lucite table tucked in a corner behind a velvet rope.  Under the black light, she sipped on her vodka cranberry and pushed a refreshed Jack and Coke into his hand. “Got ya a bunch of cherries.”  She commented, snatching one out of his drink and sucking the whiskey off it. “Thanks.  I never wanna ask for them.” He pulled his black fringe over his eyes before doing the same. “You’ll empty half a bottle of hairspray onto yourself but you won’t ask for cherries?” “I don’t care if people wanna call me a chick.  I just don’t want them thinking I’m a kid.” Ruby pulled his hundred dollar bill from her bra and slid it across the table.   “Where’d you get the money?” Nikki made a face and quickly shoved it into the pocket of his leather jacket. “Tommy let me pawn his stereo.”  He mumbled. “Nikki!” “I know.” “C’mon, you can’t do that! You don’t gotta….throw money at me anyway.  I would’ve just talked to you afterwards.”   “Without trying to punch me in the head?” “Okay. I get your approach.”  She shrugged and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.  “But all I’ve wanted lately is to just talk to you.  I really wish you would’ve just tried that.  I don’t want your money.” He crunched up the bill in his fist. “I thought maybe I could just buy back what I stole from you.” He sighed.  She wanted to yell at him more; tell him that she didn’t care about the drugs.  She cared that he lied to her and used her.  She’d seen him do it to enough people to feel stupid that she let it happen to her.  She wanted to tell him how he made her rush to work even more hectic than L.A. traffic normally made it.  She wanted to tell him about dancing with aching joints and having to wear a smile when you can’t feel the muscles in your face.  She wanted to tell him that just because he wanted her attention, that didn’t mean he could fuck her over. But she didn’t. He already knew all of that. He was trying. “Why have you been so shitty to me lately?” He went quiet.  There was hardly a time she caught him off guard that he couldn’t immediately divert his attention to scribbling in his notebook.  He opened his mouth to say something and then stopped himself before chugging his drink. He was the one who wanted to talk, after all.   “It’s weird for me that you’re dating Vince.” Ruby lifted an eyebrow at him before letting out a confused laugh.“What?” She snickered.  “I’m not dating Vince.” “What are you talking about? Yes you are.” He knitted his brows together.  She stopped laughing when she saw that he wasn’t.   “I’m  fucking   Vince.  First of all,”  She leaned in closer to him and lowered her voice, taking on a more serious tone. “I don’t wanna date  anyone.    I deal with enough men here.  I don’t-” She held up a hand and cut herself off before getting carried away.  “Second of all, what does it matter?  You fuck my friends all the time!” “Yeah! But-” “You were just fucking Jade in your freaky sex closet two weeks ago!  She said it smelled like gouda cheese.  I thought that was part of why we were friends, we hook each other up!” “I know.  I  know  .”  He fell back in his seat.  “It’s just uncomfortable to me.  I mean, it’s  Vince  .  He’s so skeezy.” “You think I don’t know that?  Look I told you, I’m not trying to marry the guy.  We’re just having fun together.  Nikki, why are you so concerned?” “I dunno, you’re not stupid, Ruby, why do you think?” For a moment, they just looked at each other and waited for the other to say something.  When she didn’t, he sipped his drink and looked away.  It wasn’t the first time since she’d known him that he looked so sad she wanted to kiss him.  If only let him know that his feelings weren’t completely displaced.  Instead, she leaned back with him and watched the spinning disco ball above them sparkle.  Another thought in a long line of the same, she thought about a future with him and what that might be like. “You know you and me aren’t ready for this, right?” “Yeah.”  He popped another wet cherry in his mouth.  Something in his expression lifted when he looked back at her.  He leaned into her shoulder, his teased up hair brushing into her face.  “What do you mean?” “You  know   what I mean.” “I do.” He smiled at her.  He pulled a knotted cherry stem out of his mouth and placed it in her hand. “I just wanna hear you say it.” “Please don’t make me.” She groaned to keep herself from laughing, not wanting to encourage him.   She stuck his cherry stem in her mouth and swallowed it.  He grinned at her. “I’m gonna make you.” She sighed and her smile dropped.  She pushed the melting ice in her drink around with her straw.  “Things are changing so quickly.” She let out a sarcastic laugh before nudging him off of her.  “You don’t want a girlfriend anymore than I want a boyfriend, Nikki.  Think about it.  You wanna be a rockstar.  You’re gonna go on tour and meet girls and make money.  You’re not gonna have time to be with someone and you’re not gonna wanna be.” “That’s bullshit, though.  You’re gonna do all the same stuff.” “Yeah, maybe. I want to.  And I wanna do it without having to worry about when I’m gonna see you next or who you’re hanging out with or if you care who I’m hanging out with….I just don’t want it.  I don’t want to do that to you.” “Well then, I don’t get why you’re doing it with someone else.” “I’m not.  I don’t care about him the way I care about you. If we ever got close like that, I’d need it to be serious with you. And I’m not ready for that.  You’re not ready for that.” He wanted to argue.  Not because he had anything much left to say, but because he was still frustrated.  He yanked his last cherry off its stem and sucked on it before swallowing it down.  He wasn’t sure if he regretted coming here or if what she said made him feel any better. She wasn’t wrong and in a way, she told him exactly what he wanted to hear. That night, Nikki went back to the Whiskey-a-Go Go to play a show with his band.  They went on 45 minutes later than they were supposed to, something Mick was sure to thoroughly blame him for.   “Where the fuck have you been?” “Don’t worry about it, old man.” “Oh, I’m real fucking worried.” The crowd didn’t care.  They came out for Motley Crue and stayed out with them long into the night, far past their last song.  Particularly, a buxom redhead who reminded Nikki of his first girlfriend had stuck around the club long enough to come back with them for their nightly afterparty.  She stayed tangled up in him all night.  And when he went to bed with her, pounding her into the mattress, he heard Ruby moaning louder than she ever had in the room across the hall.  Working his conquest harder than he normally cared to, he waited until he was sure he heard Ruby cum before unloading himself down the new girls back.  He left her sticky and sweaty in the sheets to smoke a cigarette in the cool night air. Ruby was already out there. He thought she might be. His pressed his bare back to the brick wall next to her and pulled his pack out of his low slung leather pants.  She was wearing one of Vince’s vintage car t shirts and a pair of black denim shorts she arrived in, her feet shoved into Tommy’s oversized sneakers.   “You staying over tonight?” He asked her.  She shook her head and handed him a lighter.   “Nah.  I’m almost on my way out.  Just gotta find my shoes.” She watched him light up and made sure to grab it back before he could stick it in his own pocket.  He pushed his hair out of his face and quietly exhaled, both of them choosing to listen to the Alice Cooper playing from a car down the street rather than speak.  She watched the smoke dissipate in the air, the sounds of laughter carrying over from the strip just a block away. They both smelled of boozey sweet summer air.  It was peaceful.  For the second time tonight, Nikki felt like being honest. “You know, I can hear you and Vince.  In my room. Mostly you.” He told her.  Before she could say anything, he stumbled over an explanation.  “It’s not a big deal.  I just thought you’d wanna know, it makes it kind of difficult for me to uh...not think of you.  In that way.”  He stammered and immediately felt stupid. “Yeah?” She raised an eyebrow at him.  She put out her cigarette on the concrete and exhaled her last hit.  “Same.”  She gave him a sly grin and slipped back inside.  “Goodnight, Nikki.” Nikki went to bed happy that night. She was thinking of him too. ***fan fiction writers are creators too! we work really hard and put a lot of time into our stories. if you enjoy someone’s content, please consider leaving them a comment. it’s really helpful! thank you.  Taglist:  @triplehaitches

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