#like... doesn't that just seem wild how early on in the series we got that episode????

[dylanconrique]

“day of death” feels like an episode that would have aired around this time, and yet we got it in s2, and us chenford clowns have been on a crash collision course ever since.

#*and this is icarly! #annnnnnd theeen we officially derailed when they kissed asfertghjkl #the rookie #tim bradford #lucy chen #chenford #tucy #otp: you know me so well #like... doesn't that just seem wild how early on in the series we got that episode???? #the smoking gun that set us all OFF!! lol #it feels like an episode we'd be getting around s4/5/6 when they've gotten to know each other so well #especially with how tim was acting that whole episode #GOD HE LOVED HER SO MUCH THEN THAT HE ABSOLUTELY LOST IT #TOTALLY HULKED OUT #LITERALLY NOTHING HAS CHANGED #HE JUST KNOWS HER BETTER NOW #bye i'm making myself cry 😭😭😭😭 #they've come so far!! #3am shitpost

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Genuinely don't think I've seen anyone talk about chapter 25 as a pivotal moment for Dazai so I'm gonna put this out here because I think his reactions here kind of negate that whole omnipotent Dazai interpretation which I hate with every fibre of my being.

Firstly, he's like, clearly caught off guard here. And don't try to tell me he wasn't, because this is just one instance of his genuinely horrified reaction to Q's release and when he realized what was actually going on with Atsushi, Naomi and Haruno.

Him being caught off guard carries significance here because you'd never catch him screwing up this bad later in the series - which is exactly my point.

I wrote a post earlier about how I don't think Dazai really is very much like Mori or Fyodor at all, and I stand by that, because their motives are different. Tldr for that post: Mori and Fyodor are ambitious and proactive, while Dazai is empty/numb and reactive.

What this leads me to believe is that Dazai is less a chess master like those two and more of a contingency planner - he's so good at "predicting" because he is uncannily good at thinking like his opponent and then planning for literally any possibility under the sun he can come up with. He's no gambler. Everything and everyone is practically (and unknowingly) micromanaged. It's almost paranoid in a sense, and I definitely think it's a trauma response to something he went through that we don't know about yet - after all, he was more than capable of this before he even met Mori.

...which brings to me to Mori's influence here. It's straight up like Dazai forgot how willing Mori is to gamble huge risks for a good outcome. It's like he forgot the mafia could be a real threat to his best-laid plans.

Going to throw out a wild claim here that I don't think is actually all that baseless - I think it's widely assumed that Dazai molds himself to what he needs to be (true!) but I think this misses the idea that he is also easily influenced by the mindsets of the people around him (see: the difference between Entrance Exam Dazai and early manga Dazai, the whole "the longer he was in the mafia the darker and more incomprehensible he became" thing from Stormbringer, how dark his eyes get in the prison sections with Fyodor, etc.). I could go on, but for the sake of not making this post too much longer, let's assume this is true because it suddenly makes sense as to why he failed to predict Q but predicted other events much later that were inherently more difficult to predict:

He was in the wrong mindset. He was thinking like an Agency member, and dare I say, he even got a little complacent. He started to get used to not having to manipulate every last variable - he was removed from a toxic environment - only for Mori to pretty much instantly fuck that up in one scene.

Let's also not forget what happened the last time he miscalculated Mori's intentions.

The consequences of this blunder could've been a lot worse and he knows it.

In his mind, thinking like an ADA member wasn't good enough to stop a potentially awful outcome - awful outcomes that could bring him pain. So, he goes back to what he knows - think like the demon prodigy. Think like Mori. Later on, think like Dostoyevsky. Because it seems to me that he believes as long as he is still working for the light that it doesn't matter if he uses these horrifically manipulative and inhumane methods of getting there. But he is wrong. Darkness within the context of good intentions is still very much darkness, and it hurts people all the same.

In the very next chapter, Dazai arranges Ango's car accident. And he only gets worse and worse throughout the series as he regresses back into his paranoid darkness that manifests as this omnipotent facade - his safety net that ultimately prevents him from developing in a positive, more human direction.

#bsd #bsd meta #bsd analysis #dazai meta #bsd dazai #genuinely wish when people talked about dazai's human qualities #that we talked more about his pain aversion #i really think it's central to every action he takes #he's guarded #manipulative #and always has a plan #how could this combination of behaviours not be related to his avoidance of pain? #storyrambles #god i hope this made sense

[the-elusive-soleil]

Thinking again about a Silmarillion TV series, and how I would set it up if I were High King of Hollywood and also copyright law (long post):

Let's say we have a three-season setup. Three Silmarils, three acts, and everyone making and watching it knows there's a predetermined endpoint. No spiraling out into infinity, no matter how popular it gets. And I'll roughly hazard ~8 episodes per season; that seems to be the average amount these days.

Will there be whooping great battle sequences? Probably. But as is my wont, I'm focusing more on the ~interpersonal drama~

Season 1 would start off like I've posted about before, with Finwe telling the Ainulindale as a story to kid!Feanor, as a segue to bringing up the remarriage, and then a post-opening-credits cut to Feanor as an adult. We're in the very early YT 1400s. In the first episode, we're laying a lot of groundwork for a Normal Day in Tirion. Various members of the House of Finwe are introduced, and we get a sense for the familial and political landscape. Everybody seems to believe that life is completely perfect--and then there's Feanor, who knows it's not.

And then the news comes that Melkor is being released on parole.

In the next couple of episodes, we see reactions to this, through dinner-table conversations and such in each of the three households. People are tense, but...for the most part, life goes on.

Except for Feanor, who gets an Idea and eventually unveils the Silmarils.

Through part of the third episode and escalating through the fourth, we start to see Melkor stirring the Noldor up. They're making weapons, and the political tensions are starting to get higher. The different sets of Finwean cousins are training with swords and such, and coming up with increasingly thin excuses to each other as to how they picked up those minor injuries.

Episode four ends with a bang, as Feanor's sword incident and banishment occur.

Episode five jumps five years ahead to the festival in Tirion that Feanor's supposed to go to. We get the "jail-crow of Mandos" scene in flashback as he leaves the Silmarils behind. Everything seems fine on the surface, but the background music keeps slowly increasing in tension, and everyone's happiness is just a little too frenetic--and then the Trees go out.

Next episode, we get the Oath, the Flight of the Noldor, the Kinslaying, Losgar. (We're keeping the version where Amrod lives btw.)

(Side note: I think it would be very cool if we got little flashes of foreshadowing that gradually escalate as time goes on. Give me shots of Maitimo's right hand that linger just a little too long. Give me Maglor or Curufin in an early episode, talking about upcoming wedding vows that bear a suspicious resemblance to what the Oath will be. Give me Finrod wrestling with a family dog; give me Turgon and Aredhel teasing each other about his love of cities and how she'd rather die than be kept from running wild. Give me Feanor by firelight, Feanor being gently reminded by Nerdanel that he doesn't have to rush ahead and tackle a dozen projects all at once, Feanor insisting over and over again that things need to be written down and portrayed and preserved because nothing is really, actually permanent...)

Episode seven cuts back and forth between the people struggling across the Helcaraxe and the Feanorians in Middle-earth. The Feanorians fight orcs and lose Feanor, and the Helcaraxe group has their own battles with ice monsters and also the sheer. horrible. cold. Maybe we can have Fingon and Turgon and Aredhel arguing about the Feanorions along the way. Maybe we can have the argument cut short by Elenwe falling through the ice. Maybe we can have that lead Turgon to reiterate that the Feanorions are Doomed and have doomed everyone else with them - and then cut to Maedhros about to ride out to parley with Morgoth.

The episode ends with the Nolofinweans mourning Elenwe, and Maedhros being dragged out to hang from a cliff.

Season finale starts with the Nolofinweans arriving. There is most definitely an emotional, sweepingly epic sequence of the Thangorodrim rescue, the stuff edits and gifsets are made of. And we end with Maedhros ceding the crown, and with Fingolfin's coronation.

Season 2 starts with the Mereth Aderthad, which gives us a chance to catch up, via dialogue, with how everybody's been settling in and what they're planning to do next. We also get the skinny on Thingol and Melian and Doriath. (Luthien should definitely be mentioned at least once.) (Celegorm should definitely be in the shot when she's mentioned, although 50/50 whether he visibly pays attention or reacts.)

We get Finrod and Turgon's dream sequences and them discovering the places where they're going to put their respective cities. Also Artanis meets this Guy...

Dagor Aglareb is probably an episode 2 thing. After it, and after any significant conflict this season (attack on Hithlum, Glaurung, etc.), there should be someone assuming out loud that they are now past the worst of things. Bonus points if there is fire in the background of the shot when the person says this.

We meet Dwarves. I think the optimal way to handle the Dwarves-and-Caranthir thing is to have them be very blunt and no-frills with each other, and leave it up to interpretation whether this is actually them getting along.

Finrod, of course, is so very (gestures demonstratively) Finrod at his Dwarves, and also at the Men when they show up.

(checks timeline) Maeglin is born in YS 320, and he and Aredhel flee to Gondolin in YS 400, and Andreth is born in YS 361. I think it could be interesting to start out an episode with Aredhel being snared and having Maeglin, and interspersing creepy Nan Elmoth stuff with Aegnor/Andreth and Athrabeth stuff. Towards the end, Finrod has a conversation to the effect that it's not just that Aegnor and Andreth's romance was doomed, it's that they're all doomed here (possibly referencing the Amarie situation) and there is no way to have a good love story under such circumstances. And then, of course, we have Aredhel and Maeglin running to Gondolin (and Maeglin meeting Idril) and the deaths of Aredhel and Eol.

I have less of a specific outline for this season, because I want a lot of it to be filled up with...just Long Peace stuff. I want to see the Noldor having their Beleriand Renaissance. I want to see hunting trips that give us beautiful sweeping shots of the landscape, and glittering social events laced with politics, and little moments of relationships between different characters.

Basically, I want this season to make it very clear just how much stands to be lost here.

And then, of course, the season finale is the Dagor Bragollach, culminating in Fingolfin's last stand against Morgoth.

Season 3 opens with the utter chaos that is the aftermath of the Bragollach. We also get to meet Hurin and Huor and see their visit to Gondolin, which contrasts so sharply with the state of things literally everywhere else.

The first episode also introduces us to this random human guy named Beren, out there in the wilderness. And it ends with him stumbling on something in Doriath...

Second episode is just ~*Beren and Luthien*~. It has a very cultivated fairytale feel, right down to the lighting and the music. The world we just saw last episode is so very harsh, but not here, not now. There is never any doubt that there will be a happy ending. And there is! The episode ends with their wedding.

(...and distant wolf howling but don't pay attention to that)

Third episode has the wolf hunt. Beren dies. Luthien goes after him. They both come back. They don't really explain themselves to anyone, and I'm leaving the details mysterious. Luthien singing to Mandos should probably be treated like the Ainulindale in that we don't attempt to make humans portray it. What we do see are the beginnings of fallout: as Luthien and Beren come back to life, Maedhros is wrangling with his brothers. As Tol Galen is settled, as Dior is born, Fingon and Maedhros start to plan the Union, and it's hovering in the background that they need to do this because with the Oath, the only other option is going after the Doriath silmaril, and they're not doing that.

Episode four is the Nirnaeth, and it. is. devastating. If you read the book (and maybe even if you didn't), you know this isn't going to work. But the characters really believe it will! And the music and cinematography are fully conspiring to make you believe it too! There might even be some leitmotifs from the Thangorodrim rescue during the battle to suggest maybe it will turn out this time... And then it doesn't. It was never going to. It was always going to end with trampled blue and silver banners and broken bodies and the sons of Feanor scattered in the wilderness and Hurin chained in a chair to watch his family suffer.

Episode five should be 50% Children of Hurin, and 50% Tuor's story, cutting back and forth for maximum contrast. We go directly from Turin and Nienor's deaths to Tuor and Idril's wedding.

Episode six is all Fall of Doriath, starting off with Hurin showing up with the Silmaril, escalating through Thingol's paranoia and death, and ending with the Second Kinslaying. Bonus points if there is a very subtle Girdle of Melian leitmotif that has been in the background for all Doriath scenes so far, and abruptly cuts off when Thingol dies and Melian leaves. And we end with baby!Elwing being taken through the woods with the survivors, clutching the Silmaril.

Next episode is the fall of Gondolin. I would really like for there to be a specific leitmotif throughout the show for people (Maedhros, Fingolfin, Hurin, etc.) defying Morgoth, and for it to initially emerge for Maeglin...only to break down. And throughout the episode, Eol's theme keeps getting stronger and stronger, until it fully emerges when Maeglin falls.

We end with tiny!Earendil arriving in Sirion and seeing Elwing, and the Silmaril, for the first time.

This season is going to have to be nine episodes long, because what's left might take up one Silm chapter, but I have too many things I want to do with it. Specifically:

Episode eight opens in the middle of the Third Kinslaying. I don't want it to be dramatic like the other two. I want it to be frightening in its banality. I want it to be very, very disturbing how habituated the Feanorians are to this now.

When Elrond and Elros first appear...something shifts. It's not really like the world-apart, fairytale vibes of the Beren and Luthien episode, but there is something Different about these kids. They're who this whole violent, convoluted story was meant to produce. They're going to build a better world someday.

We spend most of the episode going back and forth between Maglor and Maedhros doing their best to raise these children in a world that is falling apart at the seams, and Earendil and Elwing in a Valinor that is almost unsettlingly pristine after the past couple of seasons that we've spent in an increasingly entropic Beleriand. I want M&M and the twins to camp out in ruins of a place that was built "only" a century ago, and Elwing to wander through a building that she assumes is brand new and expensive, but is actually very average and older than the Silmarils.

At the end, the Valar authorize an army, and we see Gil-Estel rise, and the War of Wrath begins.

Most of the final episode is epic War of Wrath stuff, definitely including the slaying of Ancalagon, definitely also undercut by comedy relief bits of people trying to guess who Gil-galad's parents could be. (It's never revealed.)

In the last third or so, Maedhros and Maglor steal the Silmarils.

When Maedhros takes his out and looks at it, he sees himself as he was back in Valinor, perfect and whole and unbearably innocent. We have this whole golden-lit mini-flashback sequence of him and Maglor just messing around at home, teasing each other. Their brothers are in the background. They are almost unrecognizable.

Maglor glances in a mirror and it shifts back to him in present-day, face twisted in pain and screaming at the Silmaril's burn. Maedhros startles, notices that he's burning, too. He doesn't scream, although he's clearly in pain. He just reaches over, gently brushes the Silmaril out of Maglor's hand and onto the ground, kisses his brother's forehead, and then stands and with a great deal of outward calm, walks over the edge of the nearby lava chasm.

Maglor weeps and can't stop, but he has to when footsteps start approaching. He flees to the shore, and flings the Silmaril in, and stares for a very long moment at the water like he might dive in, too. But then he just turns away with an unreadable expression and vanishes into the fog.

The last moments of the show are spent with Gil-galad and Celebrimbor and Elrond and Elros and Galadriel, talking out what they're going to do now. The world didn't end, but their world sort of did. What do you do with that? What can they possibly build from the ruins around them?

They have to try, is the one thing they all agree on. If they give up, what was even the point of everything in the last 600-odd years? And in any case, they can't possibly do any worse than the mess they and their predecessors just lived through.

Right?

#silmarillion #silm adaptation: the impossible dream #this got...longer than intended #i have opinions on this i guess

[wordsbymae]

Eli Finch Alphabet 18+

Bastard, feral man! I literally conjured this man into my mind involuntarily and now he's stuck there. First time I've done something like this so hopefully you guys like it! I've based this on an alphabet template I saw credited to @/dear-yandere. I will probably do a much more in-depth one, about how he met the reader and some background info, but I thought this would be a good starter! Also, there is a bit of an NSFW section but I'll warn you before :) Also swearing!!! I see him as Jack O'Connell but see him as you like! 18+

Also, I haven't published the majority of the story yet so most of this is just can be seen as a character study as I have left some things a bit vague to not spoilt potential future plots. If you want to read the beginning of his series go here!

Okay before we get into it, let's cover the basics.

Eli is a bastard through and through. His early years were not kind and in order to survive, he did what he needed to do. Stealing, lying, cheating, violence, manipulation, etc. Now I know what you're wondering, but why does the reader care so much for him? Why do they seem to not care about his more violent tendencies? Simple, he refuses to let you see that side of him. Ever since you showed him a crumb of kindness he vowed to always protect you and that means protecting you from the sides of him that border on monstrous. That doesn't mean he won't use his skills for your benefit. We've seen that he is more than willing to lie, cheat and steal to get you whatever your heart desires.

Those jewels look real pretty on you sweetheart

Also, he is a naturally charismatic person and while he hates the idea of physically hurting you or you seeing him be violent, he has no moral objections to using his charms to manipulate you. In fact, he's been manipulating you since the first moment you met. Although it has been in small, innocent-seeming ways, he's been in control of your friendship since the beginning. Not that you had any idea though.

You wouldn't want to break my heart now would you darling?

NSFW:

This man is a fucking massive perv. He's been thinking of fucking you since the day he got an accidental sneak peek down by the river (okay so maybe it wasn't an accident as he claims). But I'm not just talking about just thinking about it, I mean he takes active steps to get as much intimacy from you as possible (even before his change). Whether it be from you yourself, hugging a bit too long and too tight and leaning a bit too close behind you when you are kneading dough.

But sweetheart! I'm just giving you a hand! Don't you want me to give you a helping hand?

Or the way he forces intimacy with you via your things.

You two are sitting up in your room, teaching him to read

You are doing so well!

Do you really think so darling? With all this hard work I think I deserve a reward. How bout a kiss?

When you suddenly get called away by your parents. Hogs to be fed, chickens to be plucked. He doesn't mind, it gives him some alone time with your things. Your soiled clothes, your pretty undergarments and all the time in the world to imagine what you would look like bent over your desk in the corner.

He may love and cherish you but if you think that's gonna stop him from fucking your undergarments (I hate the world panties and we use the word undies in Australia, so argue with a wall, also it's the 1800s) and putting them back like nothing happened your dead wrong.

Then there's the brothel (let's all ignore the existence of STI/Ds please and thank you). After a particularly hard and restless day of trying not to fuck you like an animal bent over the closest surface he can find or hell even the floor, Eli is forced to look elsewhere. He'll take a nice stroll down to the brothel, there he'll find whichever worker looks the most like you

(Also I just want to say sex workers deserve respect. fun fact sex workers in the wild west were often quite rich and would build a lot of the infrastructure of a town, that was why prostitution was outlawed to stop them from gaining a lot of money.)

He'll imagine fucking you the entire time, and will definitely cry out your name throughout the entire thing. The first few times he got the worker to say things like how much you loved him and how you would let him take care of you, but the voice didn't match up so since then the only sound that can be heard is his grunts and moans, and your name being cried out. The worker doesn't mind, they get paid well with all the money Eli stole from the other patrons at the bar.

And this was all before he got turned.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A = Affection (How do they show their love and affection?)

Oh boy. If there is one thing that defines Eli, it's the length he would go to show you affection. Quite a large part of this is his belief that it is right and proper for a man to provide for those they love. While Eli didn't have a very good childhood, he did have a good father. A strong and devout man who would do anything for his family (even get killed). So this idea of providing for someone was heavily ingrained into Eli from a young age.

However, he missed the lesson about right and wrong. I spoke before about his criminal ways, most of which he keeps hidden away from you. But he will use his skills to pinch small shiny trinkets to place just outside your window when you get mad at him. Blackmail to make sure you are crowned Autumn harvest Queen/King, and his disregard for personal property when he rips pretty flowers from Mrs Colton's garden to give you when you came running to tell him you were to be crowned the Autumn Harvest King/Queen.

Did you hear Eli! Can you believe it? Me!

Of course I believe it, sweetpea! How could they choose anyone else?

And that's not even getting into the amount of physical affection he gives you. Kisses on cheeks, surprise hugs from behind, playing with your hair as you lay along the bank of the river and all the while oblivious you thinking that's just what friends do.

B = Blood (How messy are they willing to get when it comes to you?)

man oh man, you have no idea. Before the change, Eli was already a violent man. Constantly picking fights with anyone who got in his way. Most of the time there wasn't even a good reason for him to break jaws or noses. He just wanted a fight. But if he needed to defend you? If you were threatened in some way? It would be a bloodbath. He would have either just gone straight for his revolver or if he knew he could win, his bare hands would do. Thankfully there had never been a reason for him to defend you. You would never be seen in the areas where Eli lurked looking for trouble, and those you were in the company of were good God-fearing folk.

But after his change? Even a man looking at you for too long would cause him to snap. Not only was he more aggressive now, but he was also a downright predator. Before the change, he would have just started the fight then and there. But now? He would watch and wait, stalk his prey until the opportune moment to strike. These moments were often along dark alleyways or narrow pathways along the outskirts of town. His favourite moments to attack were out on the plains, that way he could take as long as he wanted and didn't have to worry about anyone hearing the screams.

C = Cruelty (How would they treat you? Would they mock/tease you?)

Eli is definitely someone who would tease, but not mock. He's not a very cruel person, at least to you. To you, he is the almost perfect gentleman. Almost, because he looks through his fingers when you ask him to cover his eyes when you get changed down by the river. But other than his less-than-savoruy ways, he truly is a gentleman to you. He is kind and sweet, always pushes in your chair, opens doors, and pays for anything you buy when you go out together. He definitely teases though. He will tease you about anything, what and how you say things, what your wearing, how you act around people

Careful darling, keep acting like that and that boy is gonna think he has a chance at the heaven between your legs

Aw, come on sweetheart! I'm only telling the truth! It's not my fault boys like him are dimwits who think they have a chance. We both know he's never gonna get between your legs. You're too good for a man like that, I mean you're as pretty as a Georgia peach and twice as sweet!

Pretty much all the time his teasing could be called flirting. Which it is, he is flirting with you. Unfortunately for him, you've been friends for so long that you've just decided that it's just his way of being friends.

That is the extent of his cruelty with you, sometimes he does take it further but that's for another time. On the other hand, his cruelty to others has no limit. I mentioned above he enjoys when he can take his time with those he kills. I won't say much, but I will say he is pretty handy with a knife.

D = Darling (Would they do anything against your will?)

Fuck no, not outright forcing you to do things. I mentioned previously he had a good father figure and that was the first thing his father ever taught him. Real men don't force themselves on others. But let's be real this is the 1800s and consent wasn't as black and white as it is/should be today. While a maybe isn't a yes today, telling him maybe is like giving him a free pass. And I don't exclusively mean sexual or intimate things. It can be as simple as jumping from the rope swing by the creek or sneaking out with him to much much bigger things. I mentioned before he doesn't mind manipulating you to get what he wants from you.

However!!!!!! As soon as a no or a stop leaves your mouth he is stopping instantly. He takes his pleasure in being able to make you say yes of your own accord, not forcing it.

I think there are instances when he might manhandle you a bit to rein you in but they are when he is at the end of his rope and has run out of patience.

E = Exposed (How much of their heart do they bare to you? How vulnerable are they when it comes to you?)

Eli acts like a very confident and arrogant person, which he is, but there is sadness within him on the act of his childhood. You know hardly anything. He refuses to tell you anything other than the very basics and even then he has shifted than a bit. It is the 1800s so anything seen as a weakness in emotion is looked down upon. Although Eli knows you wouldn't do that to him but it is so ingrained in him that it would be many more years before the whole story is revealed.

F = Fight (How would they feel if you fought them?)

Physically? He would just laugh. Even before his change, this man was working as a ranchhand and stockman. He has spent years working hard and fighting anything that looked his way. So when play fighting began it wasn't long before you were calling for mercy, although he often pretends to not hear you so he could spend a few more moments pressed up tight against your ass and hands gripped tightly round your waist or chest. You always get mad that he keeps his switchblade in his pocket when you wrestle (it isn't his pocket knife). After the change, there was no question he would win, even if you threatened him with a gun or knife that the same laugh would come through and you would know that you were in for a long night.

G = Game (How much of this is a game to them?)

This man's whole life is one big game. He is constantly looking for ways to joke around and have some fun but don't be mistaken. He may tease and cause mischief but this man can switch between fun and games to a steal-hearted killer in a moment. It all depends on who he is dealing with.

H = Hell (What would be your worst experience with them?)

I have some things in the works regarding this, but one that sticks out is the moment you realise that he isn't the same Eli you knew and loved and that there was no way for him to change back. It would involve lotta blood and gore and the crumbling realisation that you might never have known Eli at all.

I = Ideals (What kind of future do they have in mind for/with you?)

Eli has it all mapped out. A fancy homestead on a hill with white shutters and pretty blue doors. A few 80 acres for some steers and some mares. A pretty garden out the front for you and a large red barn for him (filled with chains and shackles). He wants enough room for all the kids he plans to have (he has yet to ask you how many if you want any at all). He wants you to name them all, he thinks it's only fair since he's gonna change your last name (oh how gentlemanly). He really just wants what was taken from him when he was a child. This time is gonna be different though, this time he will be strong enough to protect his family (like his father should have been)

J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?)

Oh yeah, this boy gets jealous. I went into it a bit above. After the change, it really only takes someone looking at you wrong to set him off. He'll stalk them all the way to their home, and just before they set foot on their property he's dragging them off into the wilds for a quick lesson in manners.

K = Kisses (How do they act around you?)

He is constantly checking you out. Always watch what you're doing and offering to help in any way. Teases like it's his fucking job. Joking around about how your father hasn't married you off yet (never gonna fucking happen, there's a reason your father doesn't ask suitors over anymore) and if both of you are still without spouses by a certain age you should just marry each other (wow so subtle)

I think it's a great idea sweet cheeks. I mean think about it! We're already the best of friends, why can't we just be the best of friend's in our marital bed!

ow! No need to hit so hard darling, if you wanted me to get on my knees you only had to ask.

L = Love letters (How would they go about courting or approaching you?)

This man has been courting you since day one, you are just too much of an oblivious idiot to see it. I have said this before and I'll keep saying it until the cows come home, this man would steal the crown jewels for you. He's been leaving you trinkets outside your window for years now, sometimes wildflowers and sometimes whole clothing he's nabbed from someone's laundry line.

Oh, how you wound me, darling! Refusing to try on the fruits of my hard labour! Come on sweetheart, for me? I promise I won't peek.

He definitely peeks and has to excuse himself to take care of a situation behind the stables.

M = Mask (Are their true colours drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?)

Oh yeah, I think I've explained it enough so I won't go too in-depth but it's really night and day. You get all the best of Eli, all his kindness and love. Those who aren't so lucky get the worst.

N = Naughty (How would they punish you?)

*good girl/boy is used*

Not physically, unless you did something he really didn't like, but in small (toxic) ways. You no longer get little trinkets outside your window, he isn't waiting at the river for you and he won't talk to you when you do see him. He acts like you don't exist. After a few days of this torture, it's too much for you. You've been crying yourself to sleep and you can't take any more. You sneak out in the middle of the night to confront him. As soon as you see him you burst into tears. All he does is take you in his arms and slowly pat your back.

Have you learned your lesson now sweet pea? No more talking with that boy, alright? We don't want him getting ideas do we peaches? Good girl/boy

Oh my goodness I nearly forgot!! This man would have a thing for spanking you. I mean you bent over his knees with his hands all over that ass? Say no more. But I think this would only come in when you do something that could have ended in you getting hurt.

I thought I told you to never do that without me, darling. Stop your crying now, there's no way you're getting out of this one. So be a good girl/boy for once and do as your told

O = Oppression (How many rights would they take away from you?)

*primarily female reader*

Welp, it's the 1800s so if you're a woman (or really anyone other than a white man) boy do I have some bad news for you. Can't really take away rights you don't have. If he were to take rights away, it would all be legal in the sense that as your husband (it was bound to happen really) he really has the last say. So if you try and make a run for it, you'll just be sent right back. On the other hand, it could be a lot worse for you. It just wasn't a great time to be a woman in America (or anywhere really).

P = Patience (How patient are they with you?)

For you? He has all the time in the world. He is more than happy to partake in anything that takes your fancy, even if it may be seen as annoying by others or something seemingly pointless like showing him a rock you found. When it relates to you it's the most important thing in the world. However, put yourself in harm's way or god forbid flirt with another man, things will hit the fan. Not towards you though, no his anger is directly targeted at the fucker who thinks it's ok to flirt with another man's claim.

Q = Quit (If you die or leave would they ever be able to move on?)

Nope, no, never. If you die then that's it, game over. He'll probably mourn for you in the wildness of the north in some forest thousands of miles away from anything that reminds him of you. If you leave???? It doesn't matter if you went to the ends of the earth and back, Eli will drag you back kicking and screaming right back to where you belong, underneath beside him.

All in all, it's you or nothing.

R = Regret (Would they ever feel guilty about abducting you? Would they ever let you go?)

Can't really get into this yet, but I think a very very very small part of him would feel guilt but the majority of him is just overjoyed to have you as his, finally.

S = Stigma (What brought about this side of them [childhood, curiosity, etc]?)

Oh, definitely childhood but that's another story for another day.

T = Tears (How do they feel about seeing you scream, cry, and/or isolate yourself?)

It depends on what type of crying. I think some light tears would result in some teasing.

Come on peaches am I really that bad? Here I thought you liked me. You sure seemed to like me last night. How bout we stop these tears and have some fun?

but ugly sobbing? That's a different story. He is a true protector at heart so it would cause some emotional damage to him. Although it does give him a good excuse to get close to you.

Screaming? He would find it a bit silly and ridiculous. You've known each other for years so this is no way friends act around each other. This is where I see the manhandling come into effect

Is this really how your gonna act? Like a child? I think your way past acting like that at your age. But If I need to put you in your place, so be it

Isolating yourself? How? this man is in your business 24/7. You can't even try to ignore him, he's just so annoying

U = Unique (Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?)

I can't really think of anything at this stage. There are so many good writers out there with all their own little quirks added into their writing so I really don't know how Eli differs. If I had to make a choice, it would be that his yandere tendencies aren't really acted upon you but onto those around you. if that makes sense? If he never turned, you might never have known how willing to kill for you he was.

V = Vice (What weakness can you exploit in order to escape?)

Lust for sure! This man has wanted to fuck you for years. He's so horny for you, he couldn't see a trap being laid from a mile away.

Well, would you look at that! Ain't that a pretty sight! And all for me? you spoil me, darling!

(flashforward to him being knocked out by a wile e. coyote-looking trap with his pants around his ankles)

W = Wit’s end (Would they ever physically hurt you?)

Not in an extreme sense but a little punishment for trying to do something dangerous he told you to never ever do? Oh yeah. You'll be bent over his knee quicker than you can say I'm sorry.

X = Xoanon (How much would they revere or worship you? To what length would they go to win you over?)

This man worships the hell out of you. You were the first person to show him kindness after his tragic childhood. Since then you are the apple of his eye. He would do anything for you, no questions asked. You tell him some people have been rude to you, and he'll ask how many graves he needs to dig. Moreover, your body? His temple. That place between your legs? The altar on which he worships you. This man is a simp.

Y = Yearn (How long do they pine after you before they snap?)

This one is quite tricky. If he never turned, I think he might have never really "snapped". I think he would have eventually told you what he really felt and it would have been a happily ever after situation - he had actually planned on telling you before he left for mustering but talked himself out of it. But with him changing everything went downhill, all the raw emotions he had were multiplied and the love he had before exploded into obsession. If we are looking at it as a before and after sorta thing, as soon as he changed he snapped. He had been pining after you for years and now all those emotions, which were strong already, became tenfold.

Z = Zenith (Would they ever break you?)

Break in a physical way? No.

In a mental way? Never, your personality is the one thing he loves the most about you - that and your thighs.

In an emotional way? Oh yeah, he's gonna wear you down until you can't find the strength to say no to the ring he's placing on your finger.

#oc #eli finch #yandere drabble #yandere x reader #yandere imagines #yandere #cowboy yandere #yandere werewolf x reader #werewolf #yandere werewolf

[tired-fandom-ndn]

heyo! any opinions on the new scott pilgrim show on netflix? or general thoughts on the scott pilgrim series?

Overall, I enjoyed the show a lot. It was funny and well-made and more true to the heart of the comics than the movie.

WITH THAT BEING SAID, it completely neglected the twins yet again (you can literally count their lines on one hand) and got weirdly preachy in a lot of places, especially in the finale. Its intense focus on its messages of self love and healthy relationship communication felt, well, childish, like it was intended for a much younger audience than the rest of the show.

It felt a lot like it was trying to challenge the perception of Ramona as a manic pixie dream girl but it did that by softening her edges A LOT and making her just. . . better than she is in the comics. Which sounds like a good thing but a charming part of the original series is that every single person is a realistic asshole; Ramona is selfish and has a bit of a cruel streak, she has a history of ditching her partners and cheating on others, and she runs away the moment things get tough. A lot of that was missing in the show. A lot of Scott's asshole-ishness was missing too because HE was missing for most of it.

Also this is kinda nitpicky but (spoilers) Scott "dies" in the first episode, like everyone genuinely thinks he's dead and there's a funeral and everything, but no one seems especially bothered? Like I know it was a comedy, but the aftermath of his "death" is that everyone just. . . moves on like he never mattered to them. No one actually grieves him, not even his sister. It was kinda fucked up.

In terms of my thoughts of the overall series, I think the comics are a hell of a lot of fun and they get into SO MUCH MORE than the show and movie ever did. The worldbuilding is absolutely fucking wild and the characters are realistic in how they're complete messes and just trying to struggle through surviving and growing up while being huge assholes (because EVERYONE is an asshole).

The development is less obvious than it is in the show, but it's also better for that and it doesn't come off as the characters reading a bunch of self-help books. The relationships are messy and difficult and dysfunctional; characters enable each other's bad behaviors and lie through their teeth and distance themselves without communicating with each other. It's less of a romance and more of a coming-of-age, a story about people figuring themselves out in their early 20s and all the awfulness and difficulties and hurt feelings that come with that.

Also, not to talk about the twins again, but I really do feel like their exclusion from the movie and show was a deliberate attempt to make Ramona "nicer"; it's during their book that we really get a look into how mean she can really be BECAUSE SHE WAS TWO-TIMING THEM. It's mentioned very briefly in the show but not actually touched on in regards to how it affected Kyle and Ken and what it means for her relationship with Scott (another cheater) like it is in the comics.

Also Wallace and Scott's relationship is ridiculous and amazing and the teasing we got in the show was somehow less gay than a lot of their interactions in the comics.

#Anonymous #scott pilgrim

[bettyfrommars]

betty! the last asked mentioned how Eddie is very much a hoe (respectfully) and I remember Erica telling reader how he’s always been good to her, and I know Eddie doesn’t treat his lady of the nights terribly (besides charlene now) but you see most of the time in those situations it’s strictly pump, dump, goodbye! so what does she mean by “good” to her? like he’s nice during the deed and doesn’t kick her out after or? I know no one spends the night but does he let them kind of hold him for a bit until it’s awkward? or is it never awkward bc he is so tight knit with who he keeps as a regular? I know charlene also said her and eddie had something “special” I know she’s delusional but does eddie have some feeling for his past affairs before reader? I know he’s also still scarred from his last relationship and he loves intimacy from what it seems, so does he like seek connection when he has sex?

also i’m sorry if this is scattered or word vomit ): I adore the series so much!!! I just want to crack him open and learn him omg. Also the need to nurture that man dear lord 😮‍💨

Oh absolute respect to all the hoes, I am also one. I love getting asks about this story so much you don't even know 😭 Okay, so, Erica

first. Sadly, I don't think Erica has had many encounters with men who treat women with respect or give a second thought to their pleasure. Eddie always makes pleasing his sexual partners a priority, even if he doesn't love them. Also, Erica's been around for a while, and I'm sure there is a part of him that does care about her. He's probably protected her at times, made sure she was comfortable, asked if she got home safely: very baseline things that have been thus far missing in her life. I think she is also quite a bit younger than him (early 20's) both in age and maturity, so a connection was never made on his end.

CHARLENE gah! She is delusional, but the wild part is, when I first imagined her character, Eddie really did like her, and they had a full-fledged relationship going on. He wasn't in love with her, but after how neglected he was as a kid, being made fun of for being poor, and then being discarded like trash by his ex---his self-esteem was in the dumps. Then here comes this wealthy, beautiful, older woman (Eddie is early 30's and she is mid-40's) and she's buying him things and begging for his cock, and giving him all the attention he rightfully deserves (manipulation, if it's coming from her) and it really made him feel good. We all know that Eddie is very possessive of his woman when he's in love (or falling in love) so the fact that he was okay with Charlene already being married tells us that he wasn't in TOO deep.

It might sound silly, but Eddie never held Charlene's hand or left origami notes on her car, I can tell you that much. Sure as hell would've never introduced her to Oliver. There is this really soft, adoring, sweet side of Eddie that he shows when he is all in and he's been told before that he's too sappy and smothering, but he's been dying to be that way with someone again.

Omg, this is so long 🙃 But his main love language is physical touch (along with acts of service) and that's why he has to be touching reader every chance he gets. When we finally get to the actual intercourse in this series (after a long list of story line cock blocks) I know it will be so achingly sweet and intense, with lots of filthy dirty talk, and I think reader will surprise him 👉👈

#I'm on fire

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

There's something about the Unburied spin off bringing in Jean Paul/Azrael right when you're reading through his comic appearances. Is there something you like about his characterisation in it or is it all bad?

the timing is BANANAS I cannot escape from this man!

but to answer your question like genuinely NO and it's because Jean-Paul doesn't really like... HAVE a characterization in Secrets in the Dark? or rather, he does, but that's not. that's not Jean-Paul.

like JP having no prior personal connection to Batman before he starts vigilante-ing is weird, and so is him apparently just deciding to go rogue as Azrael rather than being conditioned into it from childhood by his dad and the order, but the way he's set up as having been an uptight religious extremist from an early age is really where I draw my line on this one. hello hi, he MAIMED is roommate?? pre-Azrael Jean-Paul was Literally Just Some Guy! he was studying computer science, man! he was not a violent dude, all of that comes from the system and the hell training he got after his dad was murdered! idk, it really seems like the writers got the cliffsnotes on Azrael and just ran with "religious Batman who kills people" without wanting to look any deeper into what actually drives the character.

JP is filling kind of a similar role as Cornelius Stirk did in Unburied; they're both filling the role of being the most initially visible antagonist who presents an initial problem to solve but is actually being controlled by something way more convoluted than simple homicide. but even though Stirk is ultimately just a tool for Ivy, he gets a relatively large amount of development as a person! especially through listening to his sessions with Strange, you really get to see how he was pushed further and further into embracing his worst delusions and homicidal cannibal tendencies and how he got warped into being a tool for Strange and Ivy to use; it makes him a lot more sympathetic and shows how his vulnerabilities were exploited by the corruption within Arkham. it fits very well in a series that's surprisingly sympathetic to its rogues - Eddie being an unambiguously sympathetic victim of police framing and brutality, Batman apologizing to Tut for the medical abuse he experienced, Ivy herself starting out as a victim of abuse and sexual harrassment and ultimately abandoning her plan when she's won over with the power of gay love. the only villain in Unburied who DOESN'T get any humanizing moments at all, in my opinion, is Strange, and that's because he was a man who was 100% in a position of power over the people he was hurting and get that narrative sympathy.

Secrets in the Dark has kind of a weird moment of trying to have its cake and eat it too. it wants to make textual a lot of those more subtly presented ideas about criminals as people that started in Unburied, with Eddie repeatedly emphasizing the injustice of society looking away from convicted felons and treating their lives as expendable, while also like. presenting Azrael as a one-dimensional religious zealot who gets almost no interiority and is easily manipulated by other characters at pretty much every turn. (which is extra wild because like??? HELLO. if we wanted to continue that theme of exploring wrong committed by people in power, the Catholic church was a GREAT place to do that!) and there just doesn't really seem to be a satisfying stance on that other than, I guess, the Riddler is the POV character, so the murderers that he likes are fine but the one he doesn't like is fair game.

I uuuuuuuh had more feelings about this than I thought I was going to when I sat down to type this actually. justice for my boy Jean-Paul, that wasn't him.

#secrets in the dark #jean paul valley

[welcometogrouchland]

I'll admit- I really wasn't in to the hunter possession thing at first. I thought it was just putting hunter through the ringer AGAIN for no good reason other than to make him cry and as an excuse to merc flapjack. And I couldn't even think of a good reason why they'd do that in the first place.

But, after giving it a second watch (I was watching a very low quality stream when it came out and straight up missed scenes and dialogue) I have begrudgingly come to admit that it works. It's not the direction I would've gone with but it works (LONG thoughts under the cut, but with a TL;DR)

Hunters desire at the beginning of the series was freedom, and now that he actually has that freedom in the human realm he... doesn't know what to do with himself. He seems sort of reluctant to return to the demon realm at all, since Camilla and Luz have become such a stable family unit for him, but gravesfield still isn't his home.

Hunter still misses parts of the EC, namely the person he was as the golden guard- intimating, fearless, self assured, if thoroughly unhappy. He's still trying desperately to define himself in opposition to other things (namely Belos and Caleb) as he slowly discovers his interests. He may be happy but he's just floating through life with no direction at the moment.

Until Belos rears his ugly head again and hunter FINALLY states the things he wants- to study wild magic and be a normal kid who plays flyer derby and goes to hexside (and has an awesome surrogate family w/ the nocedas). He wants to stop his uncle from hurting anyone anymore- now that he doesn't have to worry about protecting himself, because as Luz said earlier, keeping him safe is her job now, their job.

hunter says earlier that he's "not who he's supposed to be, but he likes who he is". Refuting belos is meant to be him cementing that he's not Caleb, not the golden guard, not a vessel or a toy or a tool, he likes the part of him that wants all these things.

So does possession hunter hit better for me now? A bit yea. Again, I probably spoiled myself with my rampant imagination over the last couple of months- and I really would've liked to see more of Belos on his own terms. But at the end of the day it's not antithetical to hunters arc like I first thought it was. It's not a step backwards, it's closure. He recognised Belos was evil and that he didn't deserve what happened to him, now he knows what he does want and he's got people there to help him get it.

But now that hunter has different desires (and I hate hate hate to say this but...) It kind of makes sense for him to maybe carve a new palismen in place of flapjack that represents this change. Flapjack got him this far and a desire for freedom and love will carry him through the rest of his life as he gains more specific goals and wants.

(Also- tangent, even though Belos name drops Evelyn when killing flapjack, he also shouted "CALEB!" In kings tide when he saw the bird. I think flapjack in general reminds him of what he lost, and Belos naming Evelyn is him saying goodbye to her influence, attempting to twist the knife one last time as he again tries to exert control over his brothers image and their relationship. All this to say, no matter who carved it, flapjack is a symbol for both freedom and the wittebane brothers strife. Hence, it's painful and not 100% necessary but reasonable to want to move on narratively)

There's still all the unresolved threads re: Caleb and the Clawthornes and also WHY DOES BELOS WANT BACK INTO THE DEMON REALM. WHAT DOES HE WANT. Belos felt a bit...directionless in general in this one but again I'm holding out to see how his plotline is resolved since it wasn't resolved in gravesfield like we all suspected.

but like that one early review article said, this episode is just act one of the larger feature-length story that season 3 is gonna tell. A sort of owl house movie. Which is both frustrating since I don't think anyone was expecting that (we all had 3 act structure in mind but not this literally I don't think hsvsjfj) and even though I'm happy the releases are being paced in order to maintain hype and conversation within the fandom, I know things won't feel complete til all 3 episodes air.

That's the biggest flaw of Thanks to Them to me- an episode I otherwise really adore, ESPECIALLY in terms of Camilla and Luz's arcs. It's sort of trying to have its cake and eat it too- it knows it can't just be 44 minutes of set up, but it can't be it's own self contained story either. So it's conflicted and thus starts slacking at the climax for me. But it left me so excited to see where the show picks up next with reunions, lore, arcs concluding and reveals!

uhhh TL;DR: belos!hunter was jarring for me at first but I've come to accept it as part of hunters closure even if it's not in my top favourite ways you could've done that, and even though the episodes ending left me wanting, I'm excited to see what season 3 looks like as a whole!

#the owl house #toh #toh spoilers #ramblings of a lunatic #hunter toh #hunter noceda #it's not his most popular tag but it's the one that's correct to me #anyway these are my thoughts SO FAR. i think I'll only truly be at peace when the next specials come out #since it'll be complete and this time I'll know what to expect #but also. i think the hunter possession had a hurdle to overcome in my mind because OF THE FUCKING LEAKS #I'M STILL SO MAD ABOUT THOSE #I MEAN HOW #WHY #I SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO HUNT YOU FOR SPORT. WHOEVER DID THAT #I WOULD'VE GOTTEN MY ASS KICKED BY THIS EPISODE IF I HADN'T BEEN AMBUSHED BY THOSE LEAKS #IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO FUN #I'm still just in shock at it all. like i feel silly for it but it's just crazy to me it's been eating away at me #I MEAN. HOW??? and why didn't the crew say ANYTHING? #i mean it got ppl to doubt the leaks but like. still that's some 4D chess to be playing #anyway. if ANYONE leaks anything from the next episode I'm going to turn their eyeballs to sand #okay. leaks rant OVER. thoughtful analysis above. peace and love on earth <3

[canayams-art]

it's meee, the qianqing anon✨ it certainly been a while since ive been in your asks jsjdjdjd the uni has been crazy and the finals were approaching so i had to force my focus on studying instead of screaming about my faves to anyone who was willing to listen :") but now that that's out of the way for a while now because the second semester has already started, im free to go back to my deranged brainrots sjejejejjeke

OH I ALMOST FORGOT very very late merry christmas (if you celebrated) and happy new years!! 🎉🎉

im rewatching the second season of tgcf at the moment and im going crazy over the small lqq moments i missed in my first watch wjejejek he's just such an amazing character and soo 😍 i love/hate that im now restarting the angst 😭😭

SOMEHOW I ALSO MISSED THE BRIEF BLURRY SHI WUDU CAMEO AND I WAS SCREAMING ABOUT IT FOR HALF AN HOUR TO MY FRIEND!! I CANT WAIT TO SEE HIM IN HIS FULL CORRUPTED GLORY IF WE EVER GET GHE BLACK WATER ARC ANIMATED!! he actually might be in my top three favorite characters from tgcf even if i don't talk about him nearly as much as i talk about mq

anyways. LQQ!! i know i already watched everything and i know that i know what's going to happen but man i am not prepared to go through that again! while i am EXTREMELY glad that we got to see him boil qr alive AND slice him in half, THE PAIN THE ANGUISH THE CONFLICT JWJWIEKEKKEJJE

i don't think i will be getting him out of my head anytime soon :")) im even more salty that he doesn't get a more important scenes later in the series :((

unfortunately ive been a bit brain-dead because of the most boring subjects in the world ughhh so i don't have any new lqq and mq thoughts :(( if you do pls share with me, im dying for every crumb of creativity available skkekekeke

also idk if i mentioned this in my last ask, but it makes me so happy that both you and your followers like these little lqq/mq rants 🥹 it makes me excited to share whatever new idea pops into my brain and know that there are somewhere ppl who get just as excited about them as i do

anyways, i hope you're doing well!! 😽😽

Welcome back qianqing anon!!!

I hope finals went well for you and that you’ve been able to catch your breath again. I also hope you enjoyed the holiday season!

Every time I see or think about donghua lqq I feel so grateful to the production team for depicting the way lqq feels and expresses himself so intensely. I know we all know this by now but his arc really is my favorite within the entire story,,, 🥹 It’s a shame we really only see him in the early chapters and the final ones— I genuinely think his story could easily be its own novel/extra.

Also where does shi wudu show up???! If it’s later in s2 then I haven’t spotted him yet cos I,,,,, still haven’t gotten around to finishing s2 (life got in the way of quality time in lqq land 😭). I feel you though— I find shi wudu interesting in such a way where I love his character but I also feel he 100% got what was coming to him LMAO. Blackwater arc is gonna be so wild to see.

But!! Back to qianqing lol. I was thinking earlier about the fact that lqq answers any personal communication array regardless of who is contacting him. Meanwhile mq haunts the public communication array but gives this vibe that not a lot of people have access to his personal array,,,, made me think about how mq seems like the type who always reaches out to lqq privately, knowing that lqq will always answer, but refuses to give his password in return. Lqq probably asked him once and mq probably told him something like “It’s pointless when I know you’ll answer me no matter what.” (Bonus: maybe mq finally decides to hand his password over when lqq ends up going down to the mortal realm to seek his revenge— like it’s mq’s way of telling lqq that he’s concerned but without flat out saying he’s concerned for lqq LOL)

Anyway! Please always feel free to slide into the inbox. I may be slow to reply to these but they really do make my day. The qianqing brainrot never sleeps 😂

#yams uncans #qianqing #on god I will draw these two together one of these days

[sometipsygnostalgic]

Have you read the old She-Ra series Showbible it's wild stuff. A few things i've noticed were

Catra seems to be a more Evil for Evil is Fun sake kinda villain, she's got the scheming and power thing going but none of the nuance and angst.

Hordak seems like a way more active villain in the show, far more wanting to conquer for his own sake, and also leaning way more heavy on the "Mad Scientist" angle compared to what we eventually get in the show.

Entrapta is totally different character, she's more like a very cold and intimidating goth than a bubble mad scientist.

Just sorta interesting how things have evolved with the show over time.

Thanks for the link, I'm reading it now!

"What Adora doesn't know is that her adoptive mother, Shadow Weaver, has been manipulating her for her entire life with mind control spells to keep her from questioning the authority of the Horde."

Canon Shadow Weaver scoffs at this. "Mind control? Is that what they told you? No, my skills are far more subtle."

THIS PART is absolutely the core of the show that released, I'm so glad to see it here all along. And everything said here applies directly to the characters we see. Glimmer, Bow, Catra, Adora, Hordak, Entrapta, so on - they all choose to do good and bad, to show and hide their emotions, and Adora even believes LIGHT HOPE has the potential to choose the right thing.

LMAO dont worry adora im feral too weve all been there

The idea here that Adora needed to REDEEM herself to the good guys, it's funny how much Adora in the show still thinsk this, even though she wasn't their enemy for a single day! It's like canon Adora feels she has to make up for all the years she thought the Horde was right, and for everything the Horde has done, as if it is her own fault!!! She certainly feels that it is, with everything Catra tells her, before season 4, and AFTER season 4 she feels it's her own inadequacy letting the Horde win.

The entire section on GLIMMER is fucking incredible.

God, damn right!!! Glimmer cares SO MUCH about protecting the people she cares about and in proving herself to them that it inverts into these villainous traits like brashness and control issues.

"Bow loves the arts and prefers them to fighting" - LMAO who wrote this??? Bow's dads???? I reckon Bow being a scholar was based on this scrapped idea. ADORA BEING PROTECTIVE OVER BOW SUPREMACY!! But it's GLIMMER who is protective over Bow. In fact a lot of Adora and Glimmer's relationship translated to GlimBow.

Oh my god Micah was only PRESUMED dead as early as this draft??? I know there was a famous quote from Stevenson that Micah was only confirmed "alive" after someone else wrote in that reveal for The Portal. But it's so clear from this pitch that bringing Micah back was an option they were considering!!!!

WHAT THE FUCK FROSTA AND GLIMMER "GREW UP TOGETHER BUT ARE POINTEDLY NOT FRIENDS" WHAT IS THIS THEY WERE SISTERS sort of

Double Trouble working for the ALLIANCE and becoming friends with Scorpia is so funny. In the show, Scorpia did NOT like Double Trouble, but they did sort of become friends at the very end!!!

PERFUMA IS "MAYBE HIGH ON HER OWN PLANTS" FDVDGGHFGHFGFD WHATTTTT

Light Hope had the power to hack people's dreams??? This ended up getting reworked to generating their memories as holograms.

nothing has changed here

HELP HORDAK IS "AN ANXIOUS NERD" UNDERNEATH ALL OF HIS VILLAINY AND HE IS "OVERCOMPENSATING" WHAT A SICK BURN and once again completely canon

Scorpia is EXACTLY THE FUCKING SAME except her parents are alive here, god bless.

HELP??? ?ENTRAPTA WAS A "GOTH KID" WHO WAS HATED FOR BEING EDGY AND RAN AWAY TO LIVE IN THE WOODS???

A lot of Entrapta's concept is retained - she builds spooky robots and is still living basically alone, and she does have some resentment to the Rebellion for... abandoning her to the Horde, but also isn't motivated by revenge, only science (and friendship). Also she is still TECHNICALLY goth. I mean. I don't know if Entrapta's INTENTIONALLY goth, but she has the black mask and the dark outfit and the boots and the castle!!! Also her goth boyfriend.

The reason Entrapta's character changed so much between versions is in part because of Ray Geigar - Ray decided to give Entrapta a grease stain on her shirt, and they think that this is why she ended up getting characterised as a less-put-together feral mad scientist, rather than the moody and intelligent character she started off as. Ray also doubled down on Entrapta being older, like in this draft, rather than younger - many of her concepts have her looking as young as eight years old.

Also reading this it's really funny but of course Entrapta would fucking thrive in the Horde. But even funnier is that Catra considers Entrapta a friend in this concept, but Entrapta doesn't consider Catra HER friend. That is the opposite of the show, wherein Entrapta sees Catra as her friend but gets pushed away and backstabbed because Catra was too dedicated to her cause.

Horde Prime's powers being "just about everything" are pretty funny when you realise the guy's almost powerless without a host.

Reading the plot, it's incredible that Angella sacrificing herself to close the portal at the end of season 2 (renamed s3) was here from the outset.

LMAO. Season 4's concept has Bow and Sea Hawk working together to build a space ship, instead of Bow and Entrapta. ( s4 became s5.)

#she ra #spop #every character

[mediaevalmusereads]

Agnes Moore's Wild Knight. By Alyssa Cole. 2014.

Rating: 3/5 stars

Genre: historical romance, novella

Series: N/A

Summary: Agnes Moor knows her place in the court of King James IV—as one of the “exotics” in his employ. When the king makes a kiss from Agnes the prize of a tourney, a mysterious knight plows through his opponents to claim it. But it isn’t chance. The Wild Knight has come for her, and her champion is after after the most elusive prize of her heart.

CONTENT WARNINGS: microaggressions, explicit sexual content, violence

OVERVIEW: I've had rotten luck with romances set before the 18th century, so when I learned Alyssa Cole had written a novella set in early modern Scotland, I was optimistic. Unfortunately, I can't give this novella more than 3 stars because it has a few tropes that I personally dislike. So while other readers might have a good time, I just thought this work was ok.

WRITING: Cole's prose was fine for the genre this book is writing in. It's fairly straight forward and moves rather quickly without a lot of description or flowery flourish. Because this work is so short, I don't have that much else to say about it - it's fine and it does its job.

PLOT: The non-romance plot of this book follows Agnes Moor, a Black woman serving in the court of King James IV. James is hosting a tournament in which the prize is a kiss from Agnes, and at the beginning of the book, we're told that there is just one event left to go. The man poised to be the winner is an anonymous figure called the Wild Knight, and Agnes thinks his bearing is familiar...

What I appreciated about this story is though we begin as the tournament is about to end, Cole gives us flashbacks that establish the characters' dynamics beforehand. I was grateful for this not only because we got to see how out characters meet, but it showed us how they were drawn to each other so that their meeting at the tournament didn't feel too random.

I also liked that this book was based on a historical event and told the story of a Black woman in early modern Scotland. I feel like too often, we gloss over the fact that Black people (who weren't slaves) existed in the UK prior to the 18th century, so I liked that Agnes was given the spotlight.

Most of my criticisms are reserved for the romance part of this narrative, so I'll discuss them in detail below.

CHARACTERS: Agnes, our heroine, is interesting in that she grapples a lot with being exoticized while at the same time wanting to make herself useful to the king. I liked that she was competent in politics, and I appreciated that she was trying to navigate her feelings about being Othered while also being highly valued.

Gareth, our hero, is honestly a little more bland. He doesn't seem to have much going for him except that he's a Scottish man who can fight, though there was a hint at some complexity when he alluded to the Scots being Othered in a similar way to Agnes. I also wasn't clear on why Gareth would suddenly decide to work with the king when he's established as someone who values freedom, so perhaps Cole could have done more to make Agnes convince him that working with the crown would lead to peace.

Supporting characters weren't nearly fleshed out enough to matter, but that's OK since this is a novella. I think any more development would have meant they distracted from the story.

ROMANCE: While I was delighted that a character like Agnes was being given her own Highlander Romance, there were a few tropes used that I personally dislike.

For one, Gareth displays some murderous tendencies that Agnes views in a positive light. There's a moment when an unnamed Englishman makes some comments regarding her race, and Gareth chokes him to the point where several characters fear for his life. Agnes is flattered and turned on by his display of violence, and while I don't begrudge a little revenge fantasy against racists, I also just wish the whole episode wasn't in the story.

I also think their "love" was established way too soon. By the time of the tournament, Agnes and Gareth have only met once before, and when they meet again, they're ready to gets married. Cole tries to sell it as them having this instant connection and inserts some line about how most couples marry without ever meeting. However, given that they are supposed to have an emotional connection, I just found their engagement to be rushed.

TL;DR: Agnes Moor's Wild Knight is admirable for its dedication to giving a Black woman her own Highlander Romance, and there were some interesting moments when the main couple explored the exoticization/barbarization of both Black people and the Scottish. However, the bland hero, too-fast romance, and violent masculinity left me disappointed.

[rsquid2]

Finished Olypian Affair, heres all my various thoughts, spoilers if yall care about such things

I feel like the book moved very fast, perhaps thats a side effect of me reading it in about 12 hours but to me it didnt feel like that next book in a longer series, more like the second in a duology. As I was reading, and after while I was thinking about it, it felt like Things just Happened.

I distincly remember thinking that at some point in the next few books Espiria was going to turn on Aurora, only for that to happen the literal next page.

Everything in this one felt like a massive escalation from the first book. Everything feels bigger and higher stakes, which is not a bad in of itself but it felt like 3 books worth of escalation crammed into one.

We get the whole story on the Perilous, which like, neat, I kinda wish he'd dragged that out for longer, like, maybe only releaved the strictly releavent part and kept us in the dark for a bit longer.

Characters fuck alot in this book, like it feels a little excessive, it almost feels like Meatsmith has got somethin going on between this and warriorborn, idk maybe this is how is writting always is ive never read his other stuff.

I am once again expressing my hatred of it being a post-apoclypic earth, albeit not ours cus crystals were still a thing before the fall or whatever you wanna call it. I hate it, I really dont think it has to be earth, you can even still do the thing with Tyranima, it just feels a little lazy imo

That last chapter was fuckin wild. An archangel just, shows up, and has a conversation with the spirearch and Maul. Which like, why is Maul there??? It doesn't seem like he'd care I guess he does tho.

I kinda hate they introduced those crystal zombies, cus they are zombies, explictly have to go for the head, made of dead people, its just zombies, I hate that they put them in so early, cus either we are never going to see them again, or they are going to become a regular enemy which our heros can dispatch with ease. Neither of these options are good.

I do like that he left Gwen on the surface, I kinda expected the epilouge to go "oh and gwen got rescued shes fine"

Ferus is fucking dead!!!! That's just sad.

I do think on the whole everyone is charactized pretty well, no one feels wildly out of character. Some characters have changed but it's been 2 years if they hadnt it be weird. There were a few times were it felt Gwen was uncharcteristly slow on the uptake just so things could be spelled out to the audiance.

We got a little more lore on how the crystals are made, they grow em like the fuckin crystal grow kits from the craft store.

Abigal, I like that she's a character, I like that she's like a spy, I think thats cool, I love Hamish and Tilde. I hate where the book left her and Bayard, which i'd imagine is the point

There was no mention of Rook, at all, which like, yea he's a dick and I hated him, but It feels like he got retconed out of the story. Even when recounted the Pererlous Incident, they dont mention him. So either the admiralty wrote him into the Incident for whatever reason, or he has actually be written out of the story as a whole.

Overall I did like the book, despite what this may make it appear, I did enjoy it, now I guess we'll wait another 8 years for the next one!

#cinder spires #squid stupidity #book review #book #jim butcher #olympian affair

[shy-magpie]

RQG 165

Live blog under the cut

"Hide the fang" sounds like a euphemism, either for killing someone or sex

I love how fast Alex is getting.

Oh first minor storm, so they got some experience with normal issues before hitting magical territory

Briefing time. Oh the one hand I still want to like Earhardt: mostly due to lingering affection from the trip to Prague, but also because I don't want to write her off over what she is like in her worst moments. On the other hand, racism isn't "I said something stupid because I was in a mood"; being reckless with the lives of other people, especially people who trust you, isn't something that can just be overlooked.

Yeah cold turkey is not the kind way to help someone break addiction. Sounds like she is actually doing better physically and mentally.

Having trouble reading her tone, she seems almost bored with the possibility of them being in danger? Ok she sounds a bit more "here" now that its moved to specifics and actionables.

Well those are some things to keep aware of.

They are to shoot at white flags? That's a bit of a line, I expected more protest but Hamid is trying to stay out of the rank issues. Zolf kind of has to back her right up until he mutinies. Cel is noted as baffled. Not sure how this hits Azu. She sort of has a point in that she was hired as an expert and for all we know pretending to be in distress is a common tactic around here.

Helen obliges the needs of the story by having Azu request an exposition dump from Hamid. Aw its nice to hear him recognized for what he knows not just what he does but he sounds nervous or hesitant. It is kind of scary when you are turned to as the one who knows the most on a subject but you know how far from an expert you are. Plus he learned in University so explaining things with accessible language when you only discussed it in a place that values jargon is hard.

Fredrick gives a practical example.

Oh Cel has experience because people live in Wild Magic areas in America.

Elf Lore! Elf Lore! Elf Lore!

Oh nomadic Elves in the North; not all Elves are nomadic these are because they are ducking the shifts of Wild Magic.

Cel is confused because they expect similar groups living in the Wild Magic areas of Russia.

Zolf clarifies that the warning is restricted to people approaching from the air. Which fair enough, everyone said how risky this is as a one time thing to save the world so probs not worth it on a regular basis.

Fredrick says staying high is protective.

Hamid is checking in on Wilde with daily gossip sessions so he doesn't isolate himself.

Re: Wilde's theories:

Eh I'm not personally a Fredrick/Siggif shipper but I could see where someone else might.

Kiko is a wild card and may hit on more than one person. Well yes? Good for her? My understanding is that part of declaring clear interest early is willingness to move on if not reciprocated rather than pining at them all voyage.

Hamid tells Wilde about Siggif being interested in Azu.

Wilde thinks someone should "take the bullet for the team but it might help everyone if Earhardt got some action while they are up here". To which Hamid grimaces, because yeah.

Except for the last it sounds like Wilde is mildly hung up on people's sex lives when personally I find unofficial rank/alliances/who looks to who more interesting but allos amirite? Even in fandom discussions with other aces, shipping is often the easiest lens to discuss relationships/dynamics between characters.

The last was not the kind of joke I like but I think was made to make a point about Wilde not being as deft at his little games anymore and forcing things. So I am going to take a moment at Hamid's grimace rather than be distracted from listening. Wilde always did like playing with boundary pushing. Hell, the first time we met him in the series, he broke into Hamid's apt mostly in a "and what ya gonna do about it" move. He might have grown on me but the man can be an ass.

Altruism!?! Also did he just imply Hamid should be the one to sleep with her?

Aw Hamid is encouraging the Kobolds to be more individual

Huh not following the transition back to Wilde.

Oh no rolling for it. Kobolds make themselves real scarce when not working. I think thats a good sign like they aren't afraid they'll get in trouble for taking time for themselves where the boss can't reach them.

Cel remains awesome and wants to develop their friendship with Skraak specificly. Aw Lydia wants to clarify it was friendship not to gain this mechanical stuff Alex is giving Cel. So 3 ranks in Kobold culture

Hamid is careful to not intrude on Cel & Skraak's time. He knows he needs to be gentle & give them lots of room so they don't get frightened, but he knows he needs to put in the work to break down that "the world will end if the boss gets mad" thing.

Oh Kobolds have a thing about people knowing where they sleep.

Yes the Sasha joke was necessary.

Oh Cel figures out where they are likely to sleep so they never come across them accidentally.

They have a simple game called hide the fang. Its not a euphemism, it just means hiding an actual fang. They are actually playing a silly game just for them and Cel is the only one out of the cohort they trust.

Lydia wants Cel & Skraak to actually be friends. They are also encouraging(?) Azu and Kiko.

Azu finds a package in the crows nest. Its ticking. She takes it to Zolf who goes with her to show it to Cel.

I love this image of Cel in the engine room.

I love Cel. Few things scarier than a clock/the passage of time.

Cel opens it with extendable tools. They have a complete set of extendable tools and Lydia makes it sound sensible. Cel is relaxed because they think its a courting gift from one of Azu's admirers. Zolf is hovering prepared to heal them after the inevitable explosion.

It is trapped so opening it leads to a small explosive charge, but Alex has his 'I'm up to something' voice on & I half remember seeing a spoiler before ducking. Plus Lydia doesn't take it as an actual threat.

Confetti!?!

Alex the condition of the clock is not our priority here. Come back after explaining what the heck is happening.

Cel was actually right from their first guess

There is a note.

Azu is still on the "wait we trust this thing stage" and Zolf is leaving now that he isn't needed.

Cel is dangling the note over Azu's head

"sorry. Here's a clock."

So its an apology from Siggif? Ok that tracks

Please like Carter would be that direct.

She was engaged when she followed the palidan of Aphrodite? "He couldn't come with" and they are friends, he's a potter.

Rock popouri sounds neat

Oh Azu tried to move on but the woman wasn't as serious about it.

Cel was married!?! Multiple times!?! Ah they have a healthy attitude and are imparting their wisdom on Azu.

Azu has the fang behind her ear.

Oh ow, really Sasha never got to do a slight of hand but Cel is using it for the fang game? Oh she did to cheat at cards with Azu.

That viral post was awesome.

Lydia teases us about that roll being the pivot point in whether Cel would have pursued Azu, but she already expressed concerns about a romance with that kind of age gap & as half the players involved that is a totally valid line. You don't need to like, read, or write, much less play a romance that makes you uncomfortable.

Unusual rock formations? If you squint it looks like it says "do not go here"

Azu picks up Hamid on the way to take this news to Zolf who is in the kitchen.

"Draal has been continuously underfoot" smelling and tasting things

Zolf keeps shouting "what do you want?". Draal keeps giving him double thumbs up and going "nice".

Zolf bumps this up the chain to Earhardt immediately.

Hamid knows mountains are in the area in general but not the specifics because maps are incomplete.

Azu apologizes for not looking to Earhardt so Zolf stops to reassure her that she did it right.

Hamid takes a look from the crows nest, there are shifting colors and it looks spikey.

Zolf is professional and efficient in reporting to Earhardt. She joins Hamid in the crows nest. Hamid is polite about asking if they should turn as well as raise the ship.

Zolf summons everyone with the "oh no" bell

Oh there is a borealis, wasn't that a sign of high magic Cel said the nomadic Elves avoided?

Its a rib cage so big they mistook it for a mountain?

Its a bear? "its a grizzly sight" it died about a year ago and has been picked clean.

"Hamid is just muttering swear words...because he can't cope" The cohort is forming a chain off the rail to get a better look. Zolf is falling into hunting the kracken mode. Cel is unimpressed, this is bigger than any they saw in America. (20 stories vs US's 3)

Wilde sounds lively and shares a dirty joke with Hamid.

There are more? Several more?Oh its corpses as far as the eye can see but in an 'elephant's graveyard' way not a 'what killed them' way

They risk going into the cloud cover to stay well above it. Hamid marks it on his map as "ursa major". Alex has to make it ominous.

#RQG 165 #rusty quill gaming #live blog thingy #rqg spoilers #alcoholism mention tw #specifically recovery

[sunnysviolin]

Oh god that. That shattered AU broke me. Kel angst is my new horrible addiction and I swear I. I need to know... wtf happens with him and Hero. I can see so vividly Hero trying to keep the last semblance of his old brother back but it just fails every time, literally the only reason Hero is trying to continue on is because he doesn't want to leave Kel behind, that he made a promise and he was going to stick to it. So I must ask... does Kel kill himself as well? Or even accidentally? My heart h u r t s pardner..... sad yeehaw

Welllll we know the answer to the last part of that ask, but I do want to continue this series, so I’m gonna use the one ask that I have about it. Before anything I will say like I always do with Shattered AU that this is a dark AU. There is no happy endings, and pay attention to the TWs. 

TW: Suicide, TW: Depression, TW: Major Character Death, TW: Rage, TW: Grief

Dear Hero, 

No one else wrote a letter, but I couldn’t do that to you. I know that you spent so much time wondering if you could have done anything different for everyone else. I want you to know you couldn’t have done anything different for me

Hero had begged his parents to be allowed to stay. He had begged and pleaded to take the semester off. It was just one semester, he was still going to graduate early at this rate, why couldn’t he just stay? Hero knew Kel needed him. Kel might not be opening up, but being with Hero seemed to be comforting for his little brother at the very least. Hero knew that if he had more time, he could crack through Kel’s shell and try to start healing what was inside.

I remember when Mari died. You were so tired and upset. I didn’t get it then, but I do now. I know that when you get tired like this it’s hard to do anything. It’s hard to breathe, it’s hard to think, it’s just all so hard. I probably didn’t make it any easier by pretending everything was fine. I understand why you snapped at me. 

Hero’s parents had practically thrown him onto the train. They reassured him over and over that they could take care of Kel. They would keep an eye on him, they would make sure he took his meds, and ate, and got to school on time. They said this all while rolling their eyes and giving him good natured sighs. They both acted like this was something they were used to, but Hero knew this was different. When this had happened to him, they had left him to find his own way back. He wouldn’t let that happen to Kel, mostly because Hero wasn’t sure Kel would find his way back. 

Right before you left for school you told me you always felt guilty for not coming back that night. I want you to know that even if you had, I would still be doing this.  

They had forced Hero back to school, but it didn’t matter. Hero couldn’t think about school at all. All he could think about was how to help Kel. He ignored his classes in favor of reading about recovering after loss, he didn’t bother to study anything except what might help him get through to his brother. There wasn’t anything more important than Kel right now, and if he was being completely honest, there was a part of Hero that was spitefully going to fail the semester just to prove to his parents how wrong they were. Above all, Hero called Kel every single night. Their phone calls last year had been frequent, but short. Usually just a quick fifteen minute chat updating each other on their days. Now their phone calls lasted hours and hours, and mostly consisted of Hero rambling on while Kel hummed and made one word answers. It wasn’t perfect, but it was important. 

You were why I didn’t do this yet, even though it’s been on my mind for years. First Mari, then Basil, then Sunny. How could I ever do that to you, when I knew what it felt like to be in your shoes? You were trying so hard to help me, you’re still trying so hard. You call and you call and you always want to listen. I’m sorry I don’t want to talk. 

For the first time, Kel didn’t pick up the phone. His parents said Kel was sleeping, and they could talk tomorrow. Hero’s stomach dropped, and his mind went fuzzy. He needed to be there, he needed to see Kel. If he couldn’t hear Kel’s voice, then he needed to see his little brother to know he was still alive. He must’ve said the last part out loud, because his mother was adamant that he stay at school. She was so sure that both of her sons needed to get back to their normal routines, that the way to get things to normal was to force them to be that way. Hero knew better. He knew Kel needed him. He hung up on his parents, pacing back and forth with shaking hands. He didn’t know what to do. It was too late for a train, and he didn’t have a car. Hero just didn’t know what to do. 

I know you’re trying, and I hope you know I was trying too. I really was, I promise. It’s just...it’s too much. It’s all too much I’m just done. I’m done trying, and I’m done waiting for things to get better when I know they won’t. I don’t see the point anymore. I’m going to die regardless, so why should I go through fifty more years of feeling like this, only to get to the same end? 

Hero grabbed his shoes, running out of the dorm room and across campus to his friend’s midnight study group. They had started doing this for their organic chemistry class in their first year and then kept it up because midnight was the only time that the library truly was quiet enough to get work done. He hadn’t joined them in weeks, and he wasn’t sure they would even consider him a friend anymore, but Hero needed their help. One look at his wild desperate eyes and his pleas, and Tristan was grabbing his keys and handing them to Hero. It was an eight hour car ride, nine and a half because he hit traffic. It was nine in the morning when Hero got home and found the letter on his bed. When they found Kel, the police told him and his parents that Kel had most likely died early that morning, around 7:30 or 8:00. Hero was sure if he had just been an hour faster in making his decision to come home, then Kel might still be here. 

I know it’s going to hurt you, I know that I’m being selfish, but like I said. It’s just too much now. I don’t know if I believe in God or anything. I don’t know what kind of God makes everything that happened to us happen, but if there is a God out there, I hope he lets us all be together when this is all over. We can go for a picnic by the pond like we used to. That’s where I’m going now. That seems like a good place.

He waited until the police left to speak to his parents. He didn’t even mean to start fighting with them, but there was no way he couldn’t. He had started off just talking, trying to ask them why they hadn’t listened to him when he had known. They refused to hold themselves accountable. That’s why he had ended up in a screaming match with his mother. That had to be why rage was boiling in his veins and clouding his thoughts. Hero had begged them to let him stay. Hero had told them Kel needed him. They hadn’t listened, and now his brother was dead. His brother, the love of his life, his friends, all of them gone. Kel was all he had left, and they had taken him away. 

I did love you. I did. I promise I did. This doesn’t mean I didn’t love you.

Hero took the letter and the keys to Tristan’s car. He didn’t need to stay, and he didn’t want to. He didn’t care that his mother was wailing about losing her boy, he didn’t care that his father was trying to get him to come sit and be with them. He just didn’t care. The only person he had left to care about was gone, because Hero hadn’t been there. He wasn’t going to go to another funeral, he wasn’t going to see them lower his little brother into the ground. He wasn’t going to continue the endless loop of torture that his life seemed to have on repeat. 

I’m sorry, Hero. I hope you can forgive me. Maybe this is for the best. Now you don’t have to worry about me anymore.

Hero walked down his driveway to his borrowed car, ignoring his parent’s calling behind him. There, right where the pavement met the road, was Aubrey. Her hair was messy all around her, her eyes bloodshot. The police had told him she was there when they arrived. They had questioned her, but after reading Kel’s note, they were sure she hadn’t been involved. Hero could have told them that himself, but it seemed no one believed that he knew anything. Maybe they were right. She asked him if he was leaving. She asked if he was coming back. His silence was response enough. She walked away before he could say anything, and that was good. Hero didn’t have anything to say anymore. 

Maybe I’ll see you again. 

There was really only one road out of Faraway these days. The construction around town left all the exits blocked off. Hero had memoized the route to and from his college almost a year ago, just to be safe. He had to take the third right to get on the highway. Hero drove past the third right. If he missed the third right, he could take the next left and turn around. He ignored the left. Hero drove straight until he couldn’t drive straight anymore, and then on a whim he took the right turn. He wasn’t sure where he was going exactly, but it didn’t matter. None of it mattered anymore. 

#tw: suicide #tw: depression #tw: overdose #tw: major character death #tw: rage #tw: grief #omori #omori au #shattered au #omori hero #omori kel #omori aubrey #Yeahhh Hero's parents fucked up here #Pretty bad #But they're those people that just want to sweep everything under the rug and let it be okay #Thats where both of the boys get it from #With stuff like this #it can't get swept #asks #anon

[interact-if]

Day 10, 2/2 of the A/PI Heritage Month featured authors interview! For our final entry, we have the amazing Shai!

Shai, author of Hollowed Minds 

A/PI Heritage Month Feature Author

“You will play as a disgraced detective, entangled in webs of conspiracies and betrayal as your character engages in a suspicious probation - with a whole lot of enigmatic hallucinations and explosions to deal with. It will be up to you to shape your detective’s (or Ripper’s, if you prefer to call them that) perception and motivations. After all, Gaile City is a place full of secrets - some of them belonging to your own character’s family - and you’ll have the freedom how to act accordingly.”

Author's Kofi

(INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT UNDER THE CUT!)

To put it simply, Hollowed Minds is a long quest on morality and relationships. You'll start as a disgraced detective, once a favored hero of the city until this one unfortunate mistake, and now you're forced into a suspicious probation that you shouldn't even be in. There would be a lot of challenges and suffering along the way, and you can either help your character maintain their heroic ideals or succumb to the darkness that the future brings.

Q1: First of all, introduce us to your project! What is it about?

There are a lot of things to uncover in the story, but the main issues in the first book would be the mysterious hallucinations that people are suffering from and the explosions that would shake the fundamentals of the society. There would be several approaches to choose from as you go forward, some of which may be quite outside the law, and you could opt to use a certain ‘talent’—one with accompanying repercussions—to learn more secrets. You would also have the choice to cultivate your relationships with the people you trust the most and have your interactions with them matter in the long run.

As it is, you'd have a large target on your back, owing to a sinister group with a very sinister plan—something that might be worse than death.

Q2: If it’s not too spoilery, what are you most excited about your project?

First of all, the reputation system. You can manipulate how the general public would see you, either as the hero they once saw you as, or a corrupted personality that everyone would loathe. Best thing about it? You can hide your real intentions. This would have a lot of interesting consequences, especially if your character's actions tend to be the opposite of what they're perceived as.

Second, the most awaited reunion. People who have read the available demo would know what this refers to, and well, it's about to happen soon, so I'm very excited about the idea of writing the whole scene!

Then there's this one big chapter that I know would be torturous to write and code. Basically, you'll be choosing how to 'infiltrate' this certain location, the person whom you'd be with most of the time, a decision between accomplishing what you came there for or sacrificing it for something else, how you'd get out, and where you'd go to after the whole thing. It will be a wild ride of twists and emotions, and it's not even the endgame. A lot may change with this chapter alone, and it's one of those things I think about a lot before going to sleep.

Lastly, the customization of the main character. The motivations, blame mechanic, alcoholic/non-alcoholic option, and relationships (romantic or not). Those little details would change a lot of content in the narrative and maybe in the plot itself. Whether you want to build a character who's kind to a fault or an anti-hero who wouldn't hesitate to make questionable decisions, the journey would be entirely yours.

Q3: What inspired the current project you’re working on?

It was based from a short story of mine that won a small competition back in 2018. They share similar themes, but the short story was a lot darker than I could ever put in a game that I plan to get published.

I initially thought of starting my IF writing attempts with the supernatural genre—it does seem to be a successful area—but that short story was probably the first piece of mine that I've come to appreciate, and I wanted to at least honor that. The writing style that I adopted, the evocative tone I learned to use, and the plot pieces that I've managed to be good at crafting—they all started with that story.

Looking back, there aren't much similarities anymore between the two, maybe aside from the appearance of certain characters, but the themes are still the same.

It will definitely be a huge challenge to implement what I have on mind, but I do hope people would love what's to come.

Q4: Do you pull from your own identity for inspiration? How has that been reflected in your work?

I grew up in a troublesome neighborhood, along with people who continue to fight against the struggles. That's both good and bad, I suppose. Philippines has a lot of corruption deep in its roots, I won't deny that, but there are also people working hard for the changes they want. That's one of the biggest influences I've got in this story.

As we delve into the plot, the readers would discover more questionable decisions that some characters may have made or would make. It's parallel to how I witnessed people having differing reactions to injustice and the way they make changes in their lives as a response. Adding to that, I personally know the feeling of grief, and I’ve seen how the people around me deal with it themselves.

There are also moral choices to be had in the game, and when I speak of that, it's not going to be just around choosing between saving/killing people. It's about the main character's intentions and emotions, and how the revelations might slowly change their views. It would be a story that will steadily define your character’s perceptions amid the threats.

Q5: What’s been your experience so far? With writing, with the if community...

It's been great. I appreciate the people who have reached out in various ways to share their love for my work and to give meaningful feedback that are continuously helping me shape the story in a better way. And honestly, I'm so overwhelmed with excitement for all the support I'm getting. I didn't even expect a lot of people to like the story this early. That's why I'm so thankful!

There's also a great IF author whom I've been occasionally getting advice from, and they've been a huge reason as to why I even managed to make the first steps. Interacting with other writers is something that I never really expected myself to do, but I’m quite glad I did it.

Q6: Do you have any future projects in the works?

There are three more interactive fiction stories I've already thought of, though I won't be actively working on them until I finish the Hollowed Minds series, which would take a long while. Their temporary titles are respectively "Corrupted Legacies" (fantasy), "The Remnant's Keeper" (supernatural horror), and "A Hero's Touch" (superhero story with a twist).

Aside from that, I'm also looking forward to finishing my fantasy novel, one that I've been delaying for years, literally, as soon as I finish the first book of Hollowed Minds.

Q7: Finally, what piece of advice would you give to fellow authors?

Write what you want to write. I know that you're all probably tired of hearing this, but it is still very important. During the planning stages, you'd most likely be excited to show the readers what you've got in store. You'd be proud of it, and you'd believe that it's one of the most brilliant ideas out there. Then a few days after you finish planning, you'll realize it may not attract as much readers as you may have expected initially. Then you'll get tempted to change your visions for the story and adopt the plot lines that the famous works have.

Do not abandon your own vision.

It's your work. It's your masterpiece. Listen to feedback, sure, and let them guide you into becoming a better writer, but do not let go of the things that made your work your own. Some way or another, there will be people who would love your story, and they'd deeply appreciate that you made it the way it is.

So don't hesitate. Is it weird? Is it unconventional? Does it belong to a genre that's not as popular as the others? It doesn't matter. Write it, polish it, and show it to the world.

People will love it as long as you do.

#if: events #Happy Asian and Pacific Islander month!! #Asian/pacific islander month 2021 #a/pi month #a/pi month 2021 #aapiheritagemonth #aapi month #interactive fiction #authors of color

[zankie-enough]

How Not Me is Helping Resolve My Complicated Love of BL

Ok I have been watching Not Me. I just started tumblr posting again and I've tried a few times to pull my thoughts together about this very special show. I just finished episode 7 which had me crying my eyes out and I figured I'd try to explain why this particular episode hit me so hard.

How I got Into BL

Ok I know this seems like a departure but it's important to why Ep 7 was so important to me. I'll try to make it short. I am older, in my 40s. I grew up in a time where there was not a lot of queer content. Although I was straight, I grew up in queer communities. Between my sister, who is lesbian, and her friends and all the gay male friends/trans friends I made along the way for most of my life I've been around more queer than straight people. When we were in our teens early 20s we would hunt for queer cinema. It was our thing and when we found a movie or a show it would be a celebration. We would all get together to watch. My other straight sis and I would fight to find queer shows that had happy endings or weren't about HIV or prostitution. It was so hard back then to find just happy queer representation. Everything was centered around trauma.

I first encountered BL with ITSAY so you know it's a little different from your typical Thai BL. I immediately told my friends that what we had been looking for years ago was happening in the Asian community. I then started watching other BLs and learning more about the genre and I had a complicated reaction to it.

On the one hand I love that light hearted stories of love where everyone is gay are being told. Like this is in some ways what we were searching for but because many were written by straight women for straight women some of the truth and validity for queer communities was left out or if someone like Mame got their hands on it it became completely misrepresented. I started to get really picky about what I watched and although I celebrate the variety I really missed the representation of real queer stories or even the support of queer communities.

If BL is going to make money off of queer characters it should at least lend it's popularity to actually trying to do good for the community. Then in comes Not Me!!

The Representation Thai BL Needs

Now not me is not the only BL to support queer stories and communities but is unique for Thai BLs specifically GMMTV BLs. I have really been enjoying the show overall. Even though I think White is TERRIBLE at impersonating Black and it makes me anxious every week, I think it's supposed to. If he was good at it we wouldn't have suspense. The fact that no one has caught on to him is wild to me though....just saying I don't think the show is perfect but it's willingness to add commentary about the political concerns in Thailand and specifically it's clear focus not just on BL stories but things the LGBTQ community is fighting for makes my heart so happy.

Episode 7 was a full on celebration of Queer Rights and guys I literally cried through all of part 2 and 3. The truth is when we look at minority groups disproportionately affected my socio-economic inequality, queer people are almost always part of this.

Not Me The Series took what could have been a storyline just focused on socio-economic inequality and has incorporated gay rights in a way that I rarely see in Thai BLs. I see it more in Filipino BLs honestly. Thai BL focuses on the fantasy which in some ways I love. In some ways I love the idea of this world where there is not stigma about sexual orientation and everyone can just like who they want but I think to completely ignore that this is not the world we live in yet is problematic.

For the BL industry to thrive it must use queer stories but to use their stories and not at least at some point fight for the people behind the stories feels gross. There needs to be some sort of balance and Not Me is bringing that to the forefront in a loud way. Sadly it's really a risk for the show. It doesn't fit into the neat little bubble that a lot of people who consume BL want. They want the fantasy. I get it. I'm not even putting them down. It's why I still watch Hallmark movies even though they lack any semblance of the real world. I watched them for years. I would be a hypocrite to pretend as though I don't have guilty pleasures that don't feed that need for a fantasy world but just like Hallmark was finally forced to address it's lack of diversity at some point Thai BL specifically GMMTV has to address it's lack of representation in the fight for gay rights.

This episode in particular gave an activist voice to so many and did not dance around the topic of marriage equality and gay rights. I have to admit when shippers scream "GET MARRIED!" to the actors that play their fav couple, I personally want to yell back "THEY CAN'T IT'S NOT LEGAL IN THEIR COUNTRY AND THAT'S A PROBLEM WE SHOULD ALL RECOGNIZE!" no but for real the ability to turn a blind eye to the fact that the queer community is still fighting for it's rights all over the World is not allyship and I don't know if I feel comfortable with individuals consuming queer media that don't intend to at least attempt allyship.

Not Me is in no means perfect and yes there are other shows out there trying to make a difference as well as actors and directors. I don't think the fantasy should disappear but I do think we need shows like Not Me to remind us that the fantasy is not real and there are real people who need support and their stories told.

I saw a lot of tropes dispelled in Bad Buddy and now Not Me showing activism in queer spaces I just hope to see BL in general moving in the right direction and supported by the masses. I hope it doesn't receive too much backlash and viewership goes up.

Between Sean/White and Dan/Yok the BL romance is there but it's just not provided in a neat package or a wildly inappropriate one. A suspense/thriller where the main couples happen to be gay is progress. It's a pretty big deal and still way ahead of queer cinema and film in other countries. I hope BL continues to move in this direction.

#not me the series #not me #yokdan #danyok #not me ep 7 #Not me the series ep 7 #offgun