#like...idk just the thought of ppl watching me write aaa

[nerves-nebula]

!!!!!!! IVE FINDALLY FOUND A FELLOW MANDELA CATALOG DISLIKER

I've been into the ARG/Unfiction genre since like. 2015. And literally I've understood the hype around almost every unfiction project to some degree, EXCEPT for Mandela catalogue. Like. I've never understood the hype. Maybe it's just because I found it to feel very formulaic but like. Some of the faces used for this that are meant to be slightly unsettling are just,, not perfectly proportional and are badly lit?? Like literally that's it. Like there are real people who look like that. Fix the lighting and it's just gonna look like your neighbor of something. It's not very scary

But also like, for real? On your points abt how the series itself gives off A Lot if proto-fascistic messaging,

when I first watched it I was like "oh! That's the point! This is abt how fascist governments use media like TV to influence and misinform the public in service to facism and paranoia. Like these doppelgangers aren't actually real! They're just made up boogiemen to incentivize the public to turn on their neighbors/to attack people who are disfigured or disabled" and I thought that I finally was maybe getting why people found it interesting and that I had judged it too harshly

And then it wasn't that and instead was like "yeah no. There IS a secret boogeyman group who aren't (side eye to that) who are gonna steal your children via television (even Bigger side eye), and nearly off of them are just like, slightly photoshopped pictures of Real People but now they're just disfigured/disabled/literally just slightly non proportional features

This series could be very cool, but its just a thematic mess and is (intentionally or not) communicating a lot of facistic/eugenic sentiments

Idk if this anon is well phrased but like. You're so right it's unreal

-Gonzo

HAHAHHHHH YESSSS. YESSSSS. ITS SUCH A MESSSS.

LIKE. what is the POINT. half the "scary" ppl look like someone I'd see on the bus. the intruder looks like the homeless guy who asked me for bus fair a while back.

CRUCIALLY I don't think any of the bigotry was intentional, however it's SO thoroughly interwoven into Alex's worldview and the world he's created that it's like. at the fucking center of everything. it's insane to me how full grown adults analyze it on youtube and somehow manage to do that without comparing and compiling all the tropes it uses to make its point (whatever it's point even IS)

whenever me & my friend talk about it we somehow manage to keep tripping into different kinds of bigotry!! we'll be talking about ableism and how Adam's arc is very similar to many changeling tropes, which were (and to some extent still are, see: Star Children/Indigo Children) often used to abuse neurodivergent or mentally ill/disabled children. and we'll realize that Adam arc ALSO mirrors the Tragic Mulatto storyline too and it's like wow!! Two in one! you've done it so bad!!

a lot of the issues with it are small little things that could be excused as a coincidence- EXCEPT THERE'S SO MANY LITTLE THINGS THAT IT BECOMES IMPOSSIBLE TO IGNORE.

it's like- ok imagine this: you're having an interaction with someone and they do a microaggression at you, right? not outwardly bigoted, just kind of ignorant. and you're like, ok. fine. nobody is perfect, they probably didn't mean any harm. it's not worth kicking up a fuss about.

but if it keeps happening EVERY SINGLE TIME you talk to this person, it starts to build inside you and it's like. it's hard to even say why you hate them because you'd need to drag out every shitty tiny thing they've said and at that point you feel like maybe you're just being petty- BUT IT'S NOT PETTY IF IT HAPPENS EVERY SINGLE TIME AAA

ok sorry i started writing an essay again. i think my bud's gonna like this tho he's gonna be so happy other people did actually notice

#nnstuff #ask #hateful webseries

[cubedmango]

live slug reaction (aka naina watches the cm movie after midnight and provides long and dumb and unnecessary commentary) (there be spoilers inside. tread w caution and all that jazz)

THE BOOOKK i wonder if we'll get to see the pages eventually.

also remembered my au i based off it...... i gotta dig it up

the recap aka watch how hard can i cry abt krdcs story despite having it seen it like 50 times already

adachi cringefail compilation in reverse so true

HELP ME WHYARE THEY SITTING LIKE THATSHHDHD. they are just sitting . five feet apart cause theyre not gay

ROKKAKU. I LOVE YOU BUT WHY ..... who was he trying to call anyway .....

their fucking faces i cant do thsidjbfjsjd those shifty ass side glances im losing it theyre so NERVOUS IM YELLING

ADACHI MY BELOVED AUGH HE DIDNT EAT ...... and them both laughing AUGHHH theyre my everythingggGGGG

HAHAHAHAHAHA HE REALLY WAS JEALOUS OF THE CHICKEN NOODLES i thought ppl were kidding but no . oh my god

ALSO.! KUROSAWAS ROOM IN DETAIL FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!! taking notes for No reasons

obsessed w how adachi so Obviously checks to see if their feet are touching and kurosawa, Aware of the powers, just does not see it

theyre so cute fucking hell.....

OHHH GIMME GIMME TIME LETS GOOOO

oh the camping trip ough. . .. would pay to be the fish just to watch this sappy ass shit irl

theyre both so dumb theyre literally made for each other i swear

Kurosawa. What Is Wrong With You. Stop Thinking Things Ur Scaring The Little Man

unrelated but omg the shots are sooo pretty i love the waterfall one....

NOT THE 'LOOKING AT THE PERSON WHILE SAYING "ITS BEAUTIFUL"' TROPE NOOOOO IM WEAK

hh.. h h n . h . . hands.. Hands

THEYRE SO CUTE (counter: 2)

OFFICE GANG IS BACKKK i missed them...... ms fujisaki my queen most of all

WHAT IS W THAT GAY ASS STARE ACROSS THE OFFICE U GUYS HELLO

ADACHIS ROOM !!!!!! sorry i like it a lot seeing it again is like seeing an old friend.......

"for us to be together forever" WHAT IF I THREW MYSELF OFF MY BED !!!!!!!!!!!!

"i wished for our happy days to last forever" AND WHAT IF I PARACHUTE JUMPED OFF A PLANE!!!!!!!!!!

also dear god knowing what happens next as they say this is . it Is.

ah . its them. tsugemina.... ha ha one part of the show i didnt rlly miss

my 'kurosawa actually cares a lot abt rokkaku when hes not busy being jealous of him' agenda REAL and CANON

THE BESTIES ok i did miss adachi and tsuges bestie-isms . they are so funny

MINATO? THEY WERE TALKING ABT DRINKS MY DUDE .......

the og soundtrack in the bg ......... Yeah

ADACHI LOOKING AT KUROSAWA LIKE THAT GUYS I CANT DO THIS I CANNOTTTT

THEYRE SO CUTE FUCK OFF (counter: 3)

comedic genius w that cut from adachi hoping for them to be together all to finding out abt the transfer

rokkaku... i am looking at him .....

ADACHI BEING GOOD AT HIS JOB SOOOO TRUE

noooo noooooooo noooOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

THE FLASHBACKS NOOOOOOOOOO MY POOR HEART

seeing all the times kurosawa sacrificed what he wants for adachis sake ....... girlie who allowed this im so

Ah. Kurosawas Face..... Bros I Cant Do This....

THE BRIDGE !!!!!!!!!! THE™ BRIDGE™!!!!!!!!!!!!

KUROSAWA STOP FAKING STOP IT IM SHAKING YOU STOP ITTTT

SONS OF BITCHES FUCKING HELL THIS ANGST AAAAJAJJHDHBD. .JDJJE. DYING

KUROSAWAAAAAAAA

ep 1 parallel..... eats it up. definitely giffing this later Yeah

OUGH THE DISTANCE THE SLIDING SHOT THING (???? IDK I DONT KNOW FILM THINGS) THE DISCONNECT BETWEEN THEIR WORDS AND EXPRESSION OUGH OUGHHHH

A. AAA .A A.A..A. THIS IS JUST BEGINNING OF EP12 AGAIN WHY

hey that reminds me of the evil fic idea i was gonna write after watching the movie :)

Also. just noticed i have been talking in caps too much. sorry but 1) its late my brain isnt working 2) i gotta yell man

NEW FRIENDS who is He ........ who are all of they i need to know for fic purposes

THE PEN FUCK OFF NOOOOO . HE LOOKS SO SAD I . . .... . .. .. .HUGS HIM

adachi my talented brilliant genius amazing son . thats it thats the point

adachi my son hey hello. i understand jps toxic work culture but please. dont do that

so many pretty shots of kurosawa but he looks so sad in them..... this is his burden

adachi, alone, walking past couples/ppl in pairs..... poetic cinema

O NAGASAKI APARTMENT i am Perceiving 👁️👄👁️

kurosawa running to get his phone...... someone fly this man to kyushu Right Now

ough kurosawa pov. . always promising w angst as always

HE WAS LYING........ MY GUYS U GOTTA COMMUNICATE

THE BGM IS SOO GOOD BTW HITS SO HARD i think this is a leitmotif but brains too wack rn to recognise which piece its from

FUCK. THE PEN FUCK EVERYTHING AAAAAA WHY DO THEY DO THIS S

Looking. At the Apartment. Tidbits and Things and Blue Theme (very good and perhaps meant to match kurosawas place) but also adachi why is it . like this

47k yen flight bro............ call me unromantic bc i would not unless Absolutely Necessary

aha. foreshadowing.

oh my god okay its happening . gif

adachi jesus okay no stop stoppp go sit down please im begging you

Ah.

yuta 'jumping to grave conclusions' rokkaku strikes again . in his defense he probably didnt know anything but man

AGH. G GHH J N .. J N J JJ KDJDJD . GOOD GOD

A. . OOF . OKAY i fucking forgot abt that dream oh goodness . adachi i am psychoanalysing ur brain now

not remembering phone numbers he just like me fr

WAIT SHIT FUCJ OH . OH

SAYING THIS AGAIN. THE FUCKING RELIEF ON HIS FAAACEEEEEE IM UNWELLLLL

they hugged there btw im declaring this canon rn

fucking Finalllyyyy they Talk

"i nearly lost it" imagining his perspective and. H. . . ... hsj.. kj. ikk.w..d..

"i thought id never see you again" Who ...... why ................ to hurt me ...????? personally??????????

smashing a rock over my head during adachis lines

JESUS. CHRIST. KUROSAWA .......

OH MY GOD OKAY ITS HAPPENING . GIF (REMIX)

HANDS. PASSING AWAY NOW THANK YOU.

guys . what the fuck (<- rendered speechless)

parallel 2 !!!!!!! lets go!!!!

AH I SEE NOW. THE CARESSING. WOW......

ok a complaint here. honestly there wasnt enough use of the magic to even feel like it was missing tbh ? like it got mentioned and plot device-d but we barely heard any actual thoughts so the lack of it felt exaggerated imo

ITS THE SCENE ITS THE EDJDJJ JJHDJE BACK HUG WAUGH

aaaaand we're back to the THEYRE SO CUTE'S (counter: 4)

unrelated but how did the carpet not stain

PULLING MY HAIR OUT. THEIR PROMISE. SCREAMING

omg the besties <3 ignoring the tsugemina tho lol

HEEEEEEE omg he looks adorable..... also wow damn that was a fast time skip for 8 whole months lmao

THE FRIENDSHIPS. ACTUALLY LOVE THEM SO MUCH....

ROKKAKU I LOVE YOUUUUUUUU HES SOOO SWEET

the student becomes the teacher.....

haha . foreshadowing :D

THEY ARE. SO FUCKING CUTE (counter: 5? i think? slowly losing count)

also complaint 2 a bit suddenly but arent the subs a bit off...... not that i know any jp but i feel like they arent exactly right at times

THE ICONIC PYJAMAS RETURN also omg kurosawa avoiding the topic ohhh i wanna squish his cheeks so bad

THE SWEET LIFE DAYDREAM OUTFITS RETURN....... also the fucking choir playing every time kurosawa goes into his. . Adachi Mode. so good

PICTURES TIMEEEE PARALLEL 3

kurosawa meets the in-law (food truck guy)

OH THE MAIL SCENE AAAWWWWWWWW STOPPPPPPPPPP

guys i cannot. the matching everything. chores list . fucks sake. this is a scene from a fic i swear

my 'kurosawa is Not a morning person' agenda. real and canon

kurosawa scrunkly of all fucking time like there is not a more scrunkly chara ive seen in my life i love him so much oh my god

hey have i mentioned how cute they are yet . no? ok here it is. They Are So Cute (counter: 6 or something)

KUROSAWA CARES ROKKAKU IM TELLING YOUUUUU

oh what does that say on urabes laptop

(unrelated. had to pause here bc i felt a tiny earthquake and that scared the fuck out of me oof,, anyways back to the brain rot)

rokkaku and fujisaku u both are So real

ah them again.... looking at the besties Only

Hehehehehehe Adachi Got Plans

closing my eyes sorry i dont care abt these two at all ,,......

oh my god tsuge cursed...... king shit

ADACHI UR BRAINNN MASSIVE HUGE MY GENIUS SON..... HES PLANNING FAR AHEAD ALREADY SOBBSS

"i want to have a life with you forever and for always" this. .this. the. Head in my Hands. how am i supposed to cope with this . Hello

AAGHHGGH HUG !!!!!!!!!!

i heard the legends of the resume. i did not know it was this intricate. kurosawa my guy what the fuck

taking notes tho. hm yes birthday same as manga kurosawa..... hmmmm yes mari Is his sisters name...... hmmm past jobs (?). hope someone translates the whole thing

boy abt to pitch himself as adachis boyfriend like a stationary product. u know what? unique. points for creativity

WAIT THE REASON FOR APPLY HELP ME DNDJEJDJD THIS MAN someone please please translate this oh my god

KUROSAWA LORE!!!!!!!!!!!

oh my god mari got lore too yesssss good for her

why did they reduce kazuyas number of kids.... was it an actor casting thing

OH ADACHI FAMILY !!!!!! LOOKING INTENSELY

kurosawa.......... hes so determined....

AWWWWW IM SO HAPPY FOR THEMMM best family i care them 🥺🥺🥺🥺

"welcome to our family" SOBBING SO LOUD

omg the shogi scene....... that indirect asian family brand of acceptance....... love to see it

YEAHHHH YEAHHHHHHHHH THIS IS WHAT I LIKE TO SEE !!!!!!! (refusing to think abt the next part)

chuckles. uh oh.

HEY ITS THAT SCENE . i didnt know it happened here oh

mont blanc again hehe

kurosawa did we not learn. did we not learn from the nagasaki part. my man

PARK!!! PARK™!!!!!! PARK PARK ITS THE OUUHHHHGHHGFFD [passes out]

somehow every speech adachi has given this movie has felt like a goddam punch to the stomach . Pain

losing count of the parallels there are so many Sooo Many

THE BGMMMMMMM ITS THAT ONE SONG

WAIT SURPRISE HUG OH THAT CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD. FUCK THEYRE SO CUTE (counter: i dont know anymore)

preparing my hands to be thrown later

the contrast of their houses is soo interesting me like adachis parents house being small and traditional vs kurosawas parents house being bigger and modern

and smth smth yet adachis family being more accepting of them despite that ....... Looking

saw ppl being like 'why did they bring irl problems into silly gay show' and yes i understand but also 1) this happened in the manga 2) i feel like this is kind of necessary ? not just from a realism perspective but for the storytelling??? like the point is to show adachis growth using hurdles and to show how he gets over them so without a serious scene like this i dont think his chara development would hit as hard

YEAH LIKE THAT. JUST LIKE THAT. HOW BEING W KUROSAWA MADE HIM BRAVER TO TAKE ON CHALLENGES

oh. he said it. well guys it was a good run for my online presence im going to go lock myself in my bathroom for the rest of my life now adios

OK GOOD THEY BROUGHT UP HIS SELF IMAGE AND PERFECTIONISM ISSUES . ITS IMPORTANT TO ME

"but then i met adachi. he accepted me as i am" bro i cannot. ep 7 abt to kill me next time i watch it on god

THEY DONT REGRET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TELL HER

adachis chara dev actually my fav thing on my planet for reallllll its insane how far hes come its incredible to see. and honestly for all that i relate to him it really makes me feel hopeful tbh...

HES CHANGED!!!!!!!!!! just repeating lines atp bc i have nothing to add but i must emphasize. Very Important

LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOO mama kurosawa i hope u get over ur fears entirely and then u and adachi can bond for the rest of time

"i believe your lives are yours to live" Yeah. Yeahhhhh yeah

OH MY GOODDD OKAY ITS HAPPENING . GIF (THE THIRD) (GONE RIGHT)

the growth from magic-dependent adachi in ep11....... Cries

this scene i saw already and yet. yet. . . Oh............... Wow.........

Hands.

The Bgm. normal about this . very

HANDS.

WHY WOULD THEY MUTE IT EVIL FUCKERS LET HIM SAY I LOVE YOU I NEED TO HEAR IT FOR MY MENTAL HEALTH

HUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TEARS IN MY EYES KUROSAWA TAKING THE FALL THSISI ISSO .. ..... GUYS

THEYRE SO HAPPY I CANT I LOVE THEMMM

intro parallel .....................

DORKS. WHY ARE THEY SO CUTE (counter: ???? still not enough times)

OH FUCK OH JESUS OH MU GDIIDJDJD

YES IVE SEEN THIS ALREADY. SEVERAL TIMES. YES IM STILL LOSING IT IMMENSELY . THANKS FOR ASKING!

complaint 3: why is adachis fucking wedding suit not fitting him right. huh

AGH. AGH. AAUAUSHHSJJJVJJKKE [taking emotional damage] HHRAAAHHAGGGFGHH

THE MUSICCCCC THE MUSIIIICCCCCCC THIS ISNT ALLLOWWEDDDDD

. BESTIES IM . ... ... ... OH MY GOD.................. I DONT HAVE WORDS ANYMORE. THATS IT.. ......

THE BOOK NO STOPPPPP DONT DO THIS TO ME IM SO WEAK

(i want that drawing by the way. as a painting. framed on my wall. for art purpose)

where is this location btw i would like to know of anyone has an idea

HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SWINGING HANDS

well. ... .. .. im super normal after this. i swear (biggest lie told)

SHINOOONNNNNNNNN YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

if u guys havent read the lyrics to it yet please. please. they are insane.

its 3 am. no thoughts brain kurodachi. this was so worth the 7 months wait. i am filled with serotonin

i did not say anything coherent or deep at all but maybe ill make a discussion post later if i can get my thoughts in order

but first. when i get my hands on that hd rip i am going to make So many gifs u guys are gonna be sick of me i promise

anyways yeah um . .. ....... krdc will continue to be my personality for the rest of the year please look forward to it <3

ALSO . IF OTHER PPL HAVE ANY THOUGHTS THEY WANNA SHARE W ME PLS FEEL FREE id love to discuss (and/or scream in all AAAAAAs) the movie too :D

ok im going to sleep now good night

#cherry magic #cherry magic spoilers #my post #sorry. in my defense i warned u guys several times in advance #chuckles nervously. ha ha good thing for tumblrs read more function huh............... #ough ok i really need to sleep now but definitely rewatching soon. like in a couple hours after i wake up again probably #praying for hd rip by then perhaps

[catanya-panda-writes]

how do ppl stream themselves writing like i’ve always wanted to try it but it’d literally be me writing 1-3 sentences, then scrolling through tumblr/watching youtube/eating snacks/playing games/staring at a blank doc for an hour

#mine #writing humour #also i think i'd be hella self-conscious so scratch that slfjsldf #like...idk just the thought of ppl watching me write aaa #that's terrifying

[cognitosclowns]

PART TWO OF ROBOTUS TRYING TO FIND YOU A MATCH PLS!!! WHEN HE REALIZES ITS HIM AAAA DO WHATEVER YOU WANT IM JUST CRAVING ROBOTUS HCS

MNSMDNSD I GOT A COUPLE REQS FOR THIS SO <33 HERE WE GOOOOOOO

(original post here)

all sfw!!! just some Clownery

I MENTIONED SOME DETAILS IN THE TAGS BUT IM GONNA GO INTO A BIT MORE DETAIL

As any Self Respecting Genius AI, the first step is Making A Very Long List.

You've already narrowed it down to Someone In Cognito, right? (theres fuckton of levels at cognito,, so lets maybe put that at like,, 5000 ppl?? 10 000?? im not sure what number is realistic bc,,, we don't have blueprints-)

BUT you obviously don't,, interact with all those people, right? You've never even BEEN in the Kaiju Research Department - so he can 86 all those. People you've talked about disliking, etc.

he narrows it down to a list of,, about 400 ppl, ranked most to least likely

(... yeah its a little biased. and by a little i mean a lot. Mostly because If You Had A Thing For fucking,, Chad In Biochem He Might Blow A Fuse Because You Could Do So Much Better)

AND FROM THERE, over the next few weeks he gets it down to 50< by keeping track of who you interact with the most!! He assumes that if you were interested in someone, you’d at least speak to them every few days, if not daily!!

he'll pop outta the woodwork every once in a while to,, give his best guess of the day.

'Quinn? They work in The Crypid Re-'

'Nope'

'... Am I at least getting closer?'

'If you figure it out, I'd be very surprised.'

'Are you insulting my intelligence? >:(('

'It isn't about your ~intelligence~, oh wise one. you just aren't gonna figure it out. Besides, it's never gonna be an answer you'll like (</3)'

'I'll like being right - Joseph Langat?'

's i g h'

If anybody asks why he cares so much, he's gonna claim boredom and/or pride. is that the truth?.... no

HE ABSOLUTELY GOES TO THE GANG ASKING FOR HELP AS,, THE LIST STARTS TO GET DOWN TO LIKE,, 20 PPL??

Does the gang know? ABSOLUTELY! are they gonna say Dick?? NOPE

its funny as hell watching him fumble around. He rarely,, doesn't know smth. Lots of room for teasing <3, trying to lead him towards the answer and trying not to crack up when He Just,, Can't Get It.

ANDRE REALLY DOES HIS BEST OKAY??

'Maybe you're going about this wrong - is there anyone they talk to every day without fail? Maybe, oh I don't know, someone they greet in the morning?'

'Well that doesn't help, the only person they do that to is me! Perhaps I need to backtrack...'

'... dude'

LISTEN EVENTUALLY MYC BREAKS HE FUCKING SNAPS HE CAN'T DO IT. ITS FUNNY BUT GOD ITS SO FRUSTRATING SEEING SOMEONE SO SMART BE SO DENSE. ONE DAY HE JUST,,

'holy shit, did you take a dip in the company pool and fry your fucking brain out? It's you. They've been making goo-goo eyes at you since August. How do you qualify as a sentient lifeform.'

LISTEN ALRIGHT THE CONVERSATION BETWEEN YOU TWO,,, GOES ABOUT AS WELL AS YOU'D EXPECT. If you catch him in the hallway??

'Any luck?' while you two,, make your way along the front foyer. Why not see how far along he’s gotten?

'Well, Myc thought it would be very funny to suggest you were interested in me of all people - what a ridiculous idea. As if I'd miss something as obvious as that.'

'...'

BUDDY YOU'RE GONNA START HEARING FUCKING DIAL UP NOISES I STG. 

HOLY FUCK THIS IS LIKE PRIMATES LEARNING TO BANG ROCKS TOGETHER. HIS EXPRESSION JUST GETS,, MORE AND MORE CONFUSED?? His eyes are just,, bouncing back and forth between two points on the floor?? he looks almost pained by his own stupidity?

'Holding up?' please tease him. it’s good for your soul <3

'Aside from wanting to throw myself into the sea, I am... pleasantly surprised?'

'pleasantly? Then I guess you wouldn’t mind a date? Maybe hide down in the basement levels and make fun of people on the security cams?'

‘... ᶦ ᵗʰᶦⁿᵏ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᶜᵒᵘˡᵈ ᵇᵉ ᵃᶜᶜᵉᵖᵗᵃᵇˡᵉ <3’

<333333 AAA IDK IF THIS IS WHAT YOU HAD IN MIND!!! THIS WAS VERY FUN TO WRITE EITHER WAY

#THIS WAS SITTING IN DRAFTS FOR A WHILE AND THEN I WAS LIKE 'OH FUCK I FORGOT TO QUEUE THIS' #SO HERE SMND #alpha-beta #robotus alpha-beta #alpha-beta x reader #robotus alpha-beta x reader #sfw #inside job

[char-lotteral]

Hai Char!! I wanna know what eps/scene/anything from Naruto/Shippuden that made you fall in love with Naruhina? :)))

AAA I LOVE THESE TYPES OF ASKS OKAY2 SO WHERE DO I BEGIN

I recently started watching Naruto last year in quarantine because I needed something to cope through because aaahh things were a bit rocky that time of month😅 So yeah, i didnt know jackshit about Naruto, I didnt even know what a rasengan was. I gave it a shot and not gonna lie, it took me a few weeks to actually invest myself in it because PACING. I guess I wasnt used to it haha. Then I got into the chuunin exams arc, I finally understood the hype behind it but I still wasnt as invested as everyone in the fandom but THATS WHEN IT HAPPENED. THERE, I SAW THAT ONE PARTICULAR EPISODE THAT WILL FOREVER BE A PART OF ME TIL THIS DAY FORTH.

After seeing her perserverance and how my girl fought back, I fell in love with her IMMEDIATELY. I thought she was cute at first letting Naruto cheat off of her test but when she just bounced back and Bitchslapped Neji, Hyuga Style, I wanted to be her soooo badd. AND WHATS EVEN CUTER WAS WHEN NARUTO, OUT OF NOWHERE, DESPITE CALLING HER A WEIRDO AND BARELY KNOWING HER AT ALL, CHEERED FOR HER AND BOOSTED HER CONFIDENCE TENFOLDS

AND AND, NOT ONLY THAT. BUT MY BOI WAS SO EXTRA, HE JUST JUMPED DOWN AND YELLED AT NEJI FOR BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF HIS HUBBY AND SWORE A MF BLOOD OATH TO AVENGE HER

He was even looking for her after the fight 😭

Also when Naruto accidentally came across Hinata in the training grounds and became vulnerable around her for a sec that he was "uncharacteristically depressed" and Hina was all like; "Nooo, I think you're awesome and so cool! Even though you fail and fail, you still look cool doing it!!!"

Then ik alot of ppl dislike NH because of the fillers and fanservice but idc honestly😸 the fillers made me love them even more haha

ngl, I kinda shipped Narusaku pre shippuden but when I reached the Pain Fight, I was HOOKED. I cried at that episode. She is so precious, becaause God I love her😭

Then THIS. The way he just closed his eyes for a sec and relished the gentleness of her hand after experienceing the traumatic death of his comrade T^T He's so touch starved that this mustve felt so foreign to him akdhdka ☹💖

THIS!!!!!!!

And then I watched the movie because HELLO, it was practically their love story and idgaf what ppl say abt it. It was adorable as heck. And the more I rewatch it, the more I fall in love with it. Every👏damn👏time

also this will forever be my favorite scene in that entire movie (second to their kiss ofc)

The way his eyes were wavering, practically mesmerized by her beauty, and how he just STOPPED and looked at her in that intimate way that screams awe and amazement. Freakdk, I love them 😣

I've reached the 10 image limit so imma stop😆 Why do I love Nh so much? Idk, its just the juxtaposition of their personalities and how theyre each others biggest fans and anchors. they help the other stay grounded and believe in each other's abiities so much THEY COMPLEMENT EACH OTHER SO WELL, ITS UNREAL. EVEN THEIR COLOR SCHEME MATCHES. LIKE WHAT

The way I see it, their love is so tender and pure and I love that theyre so patient with each other. I could write essays and essays as to why I fucking love NH but i think my stories are enough to express that 😆 Im so sorry for the longass answer anon, I just get so hyped when it comes to them eeeee youve unleashed the fangirl in me💔

#naruhina #anon #naruto #hinata #i fucking love them #so MUCH #otp #o t motherfucking p

[krowfics]

This world is after me, after you

Fandom: MLP:FiM

Ship: Flutterdash

Plot: Rainbow wakes up from a nightmare and she feels like she's back in Cloudsdale, far from safety. Fluttershy comforts her and reminds her that she's safe now.

Words: 1480

Notes: AU where Rainbow has PTSD and moved in with Fluttershy when they left Cloudsdale. Hurt/comfort, flashbacks, nightmares, self harm, past child abuse, Fluttershy is a good marefriend

FiMfiction

~~~

Rainbow Dash sat up with a gasp, her breaths ragged, eyes blown wide with adrenaline coursing through her veins. She needed to go. She needed to run. She needed to fly. She needed to hide. It’s not safe. She’s not safe.

“Honey?”

She looked around the room. Where is her dad? Where did he go? Is he coming back? She should lock the door. He’ll yell if she locks the door. She should hide. She’s not safe.

“Rainbow, sweetie.”

The pegasus turned when she felt something- someone grabbing at her wing. Fluttershy. Fluttershy was here.

“That’s right, honey, I’m here.” The mare’s soft voice spoke.

Why was she here? It’s not safe. She can’t be here.

“You are safe Rainbow.”

No.

“Yes.”

Rainbow gazed at the other for a long moment. She saw those beautiful cyan eyes and the pale coat that was dimmed in the dark of night. Her vision blurred, making it impossible to continue her staring at the other any longer.

“No. No, Rainbow, let go of your wing.” A bit of sternness showed through her voice. Rainbow looked down to see the offending appendage in her grasp. Why was she holding her own wing? She dropped it. “Good.” Rainbow Dash did good. Good. 

She flinched hard when she felt something touch her hoof, she opened her eyes - When had she shut them? - and saw Fluttershy’s hoof being pulled away from where it had tried to hold hers, “Wait- Don’t-” Rainbow managed, reaching out to grasp the hoof between her own forehooves, “Mine.” she mumbled.

“Okay.” Fluttershy said, “Okay, it’s okay, I’m not going anywhere.”

Go. They needed to go, it isn’t safe. Rainbow just held the hoof tighter.

“We’re going to turn the lights on, o-”

“No!” Rainbow winced at the loud noise that came from herself, “No,” She said much quieter, “We- we can’t. He’s- He’ll-”

“Oh, oh, fledgling. Come here.” Fluttershy concern was clear even as she whispered, “We won’t. We won’t turn the lights on.” She promised.

Rainbow let herself be folded into the arms of the other, unable to hold back hiccups that boarded on sobs. She clung to the other’s hoof as tight as she dared. She needed to keep Fluttershy safe, it wasn’t safe. She muffled her whimpers in the yellow pegasus’ neck and felt one of Flutters’ hooves on the back of her head, slowly petting her mane. Two yellow wings wrapped around her comfortingly.

“Rainbow,” She could feel the vibration of Fluttershy’s voice against her, “Do you know who I am?”

Rainbow nodded barely, face still pressed against the crook of the other’s neck.

“Can you tell me?”

“Fluttershy.” She whispered.

“Yes, that’s right. Good.” Fluttershy said she was good, that’s good. “Can you tell me where we are?” 

Where are they? Where was this? She was in a bed. The blanket was still covering her back hooves, she could feel it when she shuffled her legs. She was home. “Home.”

“Where is home?”

Where?

They were yelling. They were yelling and screaming and she wasn’t good, she was bad. They were screaming at her that she was bad. They were going to hurt her. He was going to hurt her.

And now she was in bed. Fluttershy was in bed with her.

“Cottage.” She said eventually, “Ponyville.”

“Yes.” Fluttershy said with relief, “We’re in our cottage in Ponyville. We’re safe. You’re safe.”

Rainbow pulled back, just enough to look at the other, “Safe?” She said more to herself than anyone else.

“Yes, safe.” Fluttershy confirmed, loosening the hold her wing’s had on the other mare.

Rainbow Dash looked around the room, dimly lit by moonlight and alive with worry. Animals blinked up at her from every corner. She was having a nightmare that wasn’t real and she’s safe now, “We can turn the light on.” She said, she winced as she realized how scratchy her voice was from crying.

“Okay,” Fluttershy said, “Angel?” She turned, and the rabbit in question gave an audible huff but jumped up and flicked the switch.

Rainbow jerked her hoof over her eyes at the blinding sensation. The other hoof was still holding Fluttershy’s, she realized, “Sorry,” She mumbled but couldn’t find it in herself to let go, “The thought of losing you scares me.” Her voice cracked a little at those words. SHe wasn’t going to cry again. She wasn’t.

“You have nothing to apologize for, I’m not going anywhere.” Fluttershy said again, she turned to another animal, the whole room was filled with them at this point, likely concerned after hearing their conversation, if you could even call it that, “Could you get her a glass of water, please?” She asked.

“I’m sorry I woke you up.”

“You were having a nightmare.”

“I still woke you.”

Fluttershy looked at her, a little incredulously, “I’m glad you did, I wanted to help you. You would do the same for me. You do the same for me when I have panic attacks.”

She did. She’d do anything for Fluttershy. Rainbow would fly to the end of Equestria and back for the mare, she would chop off both her wings if it meant helping the other, and of course she’d help her through any nightmare or panic attack at the drop of a feather.

Speaking of wings.

Rainbow flexed hers awkwardly, wincing in pain. Fluttershy looked at her sympathetically. A trio of two birds and a squirrel somehow managed to work together and bring a glass of water to Fluttershy’s side of the bed, “Thank you,”  said the kind pony, she held the glass up to Rainbow, “Drink this, I’ll go get the… Oh.”

She smiled and Rainbow Dash followed her gaze to see that two ferrets had jumped onto the foot of the bed, dragging the first aid kit from the bathroom along with them.

“Thank you.” Fluttershy said, giving the water to Rainbow so that she could pick up the box. Rainbow drank, despite feeling like there was a pit in her stomach. She downed the cup in a few gulps and reached over to set it on the bedside table.

Fluttershy had gotten out cream and whatnot to sooth the painful places that once held feathers. Rainbow didn’t know why she pulled out feathers, it didn't make any sense for someone who liked flying so much to do even subconsciously. Apparently it was something with stress and over grooming and was common among anxious pegasi, but all that meant for her was that she may not be able to fly well for a few days if the episode was too bad. That sucks but also doubly sucks considering she’s a weather pony, her job literally requires flight.

She let the other mare treat her like she would one of her animal friends, like she’d done countless times before. Rainbow Dash just watched her work, staring intently at a honestly barely noticeable bald patch with a cotton swab in her grasp, laying some medication on it. Rainbow only pulled out two feathers this time, she’d be fine as long as she didn’t get an infection, and Fluttershy would see to it that she wouldn’t.

Fluttershy. Fluttershy the mare who helped her through every flash back, who helped her escape from that Celestia forsaken place, who cared for innocent animals with as much gusto as she cared for other ponies. Fluttershy, the love of her life. She was kind, and she was wonderful, and she hummed a soft little tune as she capped the medication and set it back with the supplies to give back to the ferrets.

“I love you.” Rainbow breathed, not really trying to say anything, but she could hardly worry about it when it was so true.

Fluttershy smiled at her, “I love you too, fledgling,” She said, placing a kiss on Rainbow’s forehead, “Would you like to go back to sleep?”

Rainbow nodded and Fluttershy slipped under the blanket with her, “Angel?” Rainbow heard her say, and the light turned off, “Thank you, Angel bunny. And every critter, thank you for helping, goodnight.” There was chittering and chattering in response and Rainbow couldn’t help but smile at that.

Fluttershy hummed, finally laying down with her, “What’re you thinking about?”

“You.” Rainbow said, “You’re perfect, I don’t know what I did to deserve you.” She said, a bit sappily, but how could she not be sappy when she had the best pony ever sharing the heat of a bed with her.

“You’re just as perfect.” Fluttershy said, continuing before Rainbow could argue otherwise, “Perfect for me. We’re perfect for each other. You know, we’re meant to be.” She said softly, laying a wing over the blue pegasus to pull her closer.

“We are, aren’t we?” Rainbow grinned.

“Mhm.” The mare agreed, her eyes already shut as she began to succumb to sleep, “Good night, honey.”

“Good night, Flutters.”

~~~

I used this prompt list and a random number generator to get

1“You know we’re meant to be.”

2“The thought of losing you scares me.”

9“Mine.”

I also got a random song from a playlist (that was the mcr discography, so not that random) for inspiration and got Bulletproof Heart. Don’t tell the ppl over at FiMfiction that that’s where I got the title from, I’m 99% sure I’m breaking a rule- aaa-

also i literally have so much for this au so, i might write more,,, idk,,

#thekrowiswriting #mlp fan fiction #flutterdash #hurt/comfort #fluttershy #rainbow dash #self harm tw #trauma tw #flash backs tw #past child abuse

[zorelle]

ZO! (can i call you Zo?) ¿Cómo te sientes con este desastre de los libretos? ¿Estas bien? It's been hard on lots of people so i thought I'd check in <3

Ay que bella que eres. 😩💕😍

Pues primero me reí mucho con que Justo a las horas de hablar salieran fue como mmm que putas, quien soy Adam Sandler en la película esa dominguera del control remoto (aaa) o en la de los cuentos de dormir. Soy Adam Sandler. Y luego pues vi lo que mostraban y me dio una patada de amargura al pecho full.

Estos mensajes se publican vdd? Should I speak in English? How many people here speak Spanish? Anyway. Long rant.

I felt like shit. Then I decided to stop looking at them cause it was making me sick. But it just gets me everytime yknow, I didn't even watch the show when the finale aired like I felt the disrespect even when I didn't know the characters and entered the fandom because of that rage, my original motifs weren't coming from any knowledge of spn and the characters but from anger about poorly handled representation in the media and wanting to discuss queerbating but I got in the rabbit hole I guess and fell in love with the good spn, the deep amazing version that the fandom explores so thoroughly and the coded messages people in the crew implied from the inside that makes it all so compelling. And so... now it's clearly the worst finale to think about, it's like a fresh wound all over again, isn't it.

Like the cruelty with Eileen gets me with those scripts, to have built a relationship but not committing to make it endgame and choosing to have blurry wife, that's so awful. It's just so awful. And you know. To kill off your suicidal protagonist IN THE MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC.... What the fuck man what's the message it's all just so fucked up I wanna cry again. Why do that... That is so irresponsable and it reads so much like better dead than queer idk... and obviously and most painfully

😑. The [OMMITED]

Waaaa like I laugh at the jokes n the memes but Cas was a lead, was the recently established queer character and they purposefully DID THAT TO HIM this is all so fucked up its just so mean and blatantly homophobic like there's no other way to read it. God how can anyone be like that in this day and age. I was fuming yesterday as I am today and everytime I remember, but yesterday I didn't even want to talk I wanted to break things I had thisanger induced permanent hot feverish feeling in my face I had to take several breaks during the day. It was awful honestly. I feel better today.

How are you? How do you feel? Como te fue con eso? Sabiendo además que lo llamamos ajajaja como ay de pronto sale algo en los guiones :3 JAJAJA NO SABÍAMOS NADA.

Now I'm thinking I don't want anything new to come up. Not if it's like this, I decided to just bury myself in fandom fix-its and fanfic and just... What I really would want is to have a report or something saying the CW is going bankrupt lol that they lost half their viewers because of this or that they somehow regret it or want to fix it but everytime something comes up about them is shit like this.

I'm patiently waiting for your fic to continue and plan on taking your words as the fuckery-eradicading truth.✨

Also did you see thee @northern-sparrow is writing a fix it too? 🙊 It's called a glimpse beyond and like yours it's a WIP. I'm so excited about them aaaa

They coexist in my mind as possibilities far better thought out and interesting and that seem more real than what some rich bastard decided to air and this works heal me up in such a deep way I CANNOT thank you enough. Truly. Like I cannot stress enough what a gift you are to us wounded ppl 🙈 specially on bad days like yesterday.

I gotta publish the ranting drafts I got about my playlist! I'll tag you when I finish the first one and you can tell me if you like them. ☺️ I wanna contribute too.

PS. Of course you can call me Zo. How do I call you? ❤️✨ De nuevo, eres la belleza en pasta preguntando como estoy mk* me da un nudo al pecho me sentí cuidada. Cuéntame como estás tú?

*por si acaso mk is indearing in Colombia lol, it's like bestie✨we use it with friends to mean closeness though it's originally "marica" 😬 so I wanna clarify 'cause I know it's different country to country.

[crowstan]

reacting to my favorite dad n gang: #3

Howdy do, back with part 3! there was a significant delay for reasons, but I am back and that’s what matters. Spoilers for Taking on ANXIETY with Lilly Singh!! | Sanders Sides

-Ok, I haven't started but. Mood. The title is a mood. I will not elaborate.

-Ah jeez, a beeped cuss! How adultery! /j

-I’m ok with cussing

-SNK-

-IT WAS FORK DJHDKJHSKHDIU

-THAT’S the kind of humor I like!

-Intro is still as groovy as ever, which is uh. Idk. I write bad takes I don’t have an opinion on this

-JHFDKJFHSLJFHEKWSF MOOD

-IT DO BE LIKE THAT SOMETIMES

-!! a! all black!! and an excessive amount of eye shadow!! THIS is a Perfect Boy!! /hj

-In al serious I do be looking like that which further concludes that me and Virgil have the same taste in clothes and he is a cis version of me that got released into the local hot topic

-Or an older, more dysphoric me released into a hot topic. They are very similar but one would be seen more often in a hoodie when it isn’t Sweater Weather time. Or I like to think they would be similar at least.

-aaa!! a lil sas!! mood tho lmaoo

-”Sup?” jkfhajhfdsalkdj ok but I do that

-This is just me finding Virgil relatable by the Things I keep picking up lmaoo

-jkashfdkfjshf my literal thought process after doing one thing.

-”yo” he’s. so chill. i wanna be that cool! /hj

-”Hey there princey” wejfhjakfhsdjfhjsdkfhskd same vibes as two friends “flirting” and also acting like they hate each other. except rn they aren’t friends and they maybe do hate each other. anyway, kismessitude vibes kinda??

-I speak romance only in homestuck terms, and if i hear someone say that moirails are platonic one more time or that kismessitudes are unhealthy or ignore auspitism, i will scream

-akhdafjsd that chuckle??? That Gave Me Serotonin. I Can Finally Sleep At Night Without The Thing Watching Me. I Am Fully At Peace.

-ok that was a half joke but?? legit made me a lil happy man. people laughing or chuckling just?? I wanna join them in the Happy Noise regardless of my Happy Status

-AA!! Superwoman!! i like watching her!!

-Ajdskhfsf man i wish my blood pumped, then maybe my hands n feet wouldn’t be cold. but no I get the chest pains and sickness :/

-/j

-O shit I could use this advice!! like legit!! notes time shIT   W H E R E ‘ S   M Y   P A P E R -

-hj, these are good tho n I will try them

-positive self talk?? oh, uh, I draw the line at that, pal /hj

-best to skip over that aha--

-hey!! i have that same pillow pet!! I named my cobb! like corn on the cob!

-”focus on the now” jaskhfjaksfhjkds jeez I thought this was a list of stuff you could reasonably do, not the impossible /j

-ye s she pointed out it may not work for everyone bc everyone’s different!! Nice!!

-I absolutely love it when ppl do that tbh. It’s like the creator is saying “tis ok, you’ll work through it eventually”

-”Ya nasty” jkafhkdahksa me @ my friends, but in a loving way

-”Accept that you have anxiety” JHDLKAFH THE FIRST STEP TO SOLVING A PROBLEM IS ACKNOWLEDGING AND ADMITTING YOU HAVE A PROBLEM!!!

-or ah. the quote was smtn like that at least! I got the vibes down

-”(growls)” jashfkjas mood

-hehe a spook!! there was a spook!! heehee!!

-aa a I accidentally looked at his eyes at the exact moment he winked. I am Dead Now bc eye contact is a Fighting Sign /hj

-hakgfdshak my dad came out here n tossed my hoodie over my head, ungroovy dude :/

-skdfhd m c r ??shit man I legit like a few of their songs-

Overall, a good video!! Had a little bit of stuff I’m gonna try out because, free tips, ya know? I absolutely digged Virgil’s design bc it’s a mood and ideal and I wanna look like that! Transition goals even, if I may. Anyway 10/10, had little plot but made up for it with characters, character design, and learnability.

#sanders sides #ts spoilers #ts spoiler #sanders sides virgil #sanders sides roman #uhh i do not think there are any more tags I can add tbh #the specific reasons was supervising my kid while they were cooking spaghetti noodles #apparently they set them on fire a lot? #no fires happened today tho so I'd say it went well #they are now the most competent child when it comes to cooking #the others have not learned yet #that's why i'm their dad #their families never taught them to cook anything and they're goblins #I say that with love #we're all goblins

[ogeeitsme]

What's your experience with dormancy?

TW: Sui// mentions / comparisons / death comprsns- this is both positive n negtve b aaa

This is a long post so I’m srry <:^/

Theres 2 ways 2 answr this: how we second hand experience it, n then how we experience it in our systm:

How we secondhand experience it

Turns out, more than once, apprntly, drmncy has actlly been used as a, threat?? DKDJDKN we got som rlly old memories abt Jamie meeting a “System” (idk if they’re a sys, it’s such a long story) n He used drmncy 2 guilt trip her (n she ddnt even kno what systm was @ the time dkhdbddb)

Anywy besides that HUGE outlier, it’s kinda,, rough, bc ur askin 4 our experiences, not our views, so when it comes 2 secondhand drmncy, as in like other systms not us- it’s alwys hard

N it’s RLLY funny ur askin this rn anon bc coincidntlly we just came out of a WHOLE frickin sitch that involved secndhnd drmncy experiencs (again, I mean watching ppl in other systms go dormant)

Like, Jamie’s prev ex had, ppl go dormant, like a lot of em, bc they broke up, n 2 of their mmbrs bsclly sent me wht can be equivlnt 2 a sui note- n I got that note frm bsclly som1 equivlnt 2 my brthr, @ the time, n Sal’s brthr [@ the time] bc they shared the blog

We r rlly close 2 anthr sys whose host wnt drmnt 4 som big rsns (they also have trauma abt ppl using drmncy as an escape route frm their actions, man life b wild huh?) n jst came back so that was rlly wild n hard bc she was (n is) like a mom figure 4 us, esp 2 Peter, n their whole sys, bc they’re median, kinda crashed in on itself tmprrly n it was rlly hard 2 watch KDH it makes u kind of mad @ those ppl who cause othr ppl 2 go thru sm pain thta they jst go drmnt u kno?

But rounding back 2 Jamie’s ex (n I g the 1st exmple 2 b vaguely), that was rlly hard, n bc of that, drmncy is smth we can’t unsee as death anymr

Hey so disclaimer that won’t b in the tags (Bc som ppl dnt read them) n I will pit here just in case: yes we kno dormancy is NOT equal 2 death, dormancy always has the chance of them coming back, b w how we spcfclly exprncd these, it felt that way, esp w the goodbyes, n the crying, n how they litrlly treated it as sui//. Not 2 mention the Older trauma Jamie had/has where His “systm” litrlly said “do u miss him? Well he’s dead now”

It’s hard 2 uncorrel8 them- bc it dpnds on how u go thru it- and anthr disclaimer is that if it’s a drmncy in ur own systm, the brain may b able 2 visualize it as a death, heck som systms we kno have a “graveyard” where all the drmnt systm mmbrs end up in; and of som jst “disappear” n I heard anthr sys in their headspace it’s seen as like pods? Where u can c them sleepin?

Anywy back 2 us- KDNDKNDKN yea, our experiences w it so far has been rel8d 2,,, sui or death :^( not counting the ppl we pass by in random srvrs who talk abt it, this is jst our prsnl ones esp tied 2 systms we were (or r) RLLY close 2

IDK we’re still grieving over Larry n Asriel frm Her systm. Pls don’t send asks saying “they mite come back” btw KJSKHS they mite b even if they do we can’t Talk, their sys is an ex 4 a rsn

Inner-system exprnces

HM so there’s a lot 2 write here b we dnt- uslly have ppl who r nice, go drmnt

It used 2 b only all the very bad persecutors who wld rlly harm every1 who wld go drmnt, our psychiatrist even said, 2 calm Jamie dwn a long time ago when she was given anti psychotics, that the “good ppl wnt go away, only the bad ppl”

b they (those old persecuted) all went drmnt thru,,,,, d//ath, n I dnt wnna talk abt that or how, this is not how we wrk anymr

Then we have Deanne, she was a persecutor who was chngng 4 the bttr, b it’s like,,,, when she realized she didn’t have 2 b bad anymr? She went drmnt?? Like I rmmbr (I wsnt there but u kno shared memory) every1 feeling she slowly faded away until we realized she wsnt arnd

Aftr that, we stoppd having drmncies, b we do label ppl who mite b close 2 drmncy msbmdb (edit: nvm, I rmmbrd Alven n Peyton who went drmnt :^( we miss them, Alven was Matt’s dad n Oeyton was a rlly good ISH )

Bc they’re “not needed” N LISTN anthr disclaimer, by THAT I mean natural dormancies? Not 2 say u go drmnt randomly, I mean that sometimes som1 isn’t active enough or their role isn’t needed as mch,, it’s scary I kno, b it can hppn n it’s no1’s fault, it’s not even their fault,i t jst happns, n that my good anon is a bite sized expln8ion on y u mite have ppl come out of drmncy mhsbkdbdkb

Uhh, we have som ppl who r afraid of going drmnt tho ofc,, n they r trying 2 b as active as they can in sys inspace so they dnt fade

Bc if u dnt wnna b dormnt, trying 2 b more active can hlp!

So,,, we a,so have ppl who came frm drmncy,,,

N that’s Jade, Beia, n Chompy

Apprntly Jade n Beia were frm arnd the same time? Actlly it’s fnny bc we thought Jade was a split of Noelle b we were bamboozled bc it wasnt the case

N then u have chompy,,, which is rlly sad,, bc she cnt rmmbr the year b we found out it was frm arnd 3 yrs old,,, that rlly sucks- she’s a fictive of Chain Chomp n came out of drmncy in a new form (Chompette) smdbndb according 2 Jade n Beia they dnt rmmbr wht hppnd, b it’s like they fell asleep n woke up again

N w Chompy, she explains it as like, , she was a chain chomp, n was chained 2 the back of the headspace, n bc she accepted she cldnt do anyth, faded in2 drmncy bc she gave up? B now she’s back n wants 2 fite,dkbdmdb until, stuff I wnt get in2

I’m not done KDH

Lastly I wanna talk abt,,,, how we feel abt it

I dnt think drmncy shld b smth 2 b afraid of— BUT @ the same time it’s OK 2 b afraid of it, or 2 h8 it, or 2 feel ANYTH abt it bc, almost all the time it’s not ur own choice 2 do so (half the time, based on what we’ve seen, etc)

Sometimes, ppl will c it as a mmbr fnlly resting, sometimes it’s sudden n @ least in the mmnt (or mayb ull never kno), ther dsnt seem 2 b a strong rsn on y it hopnd

Som will c it as death, som will say it’s scary, n som accept it’s a part of being a sys,,, that this happens, n that it will b ok

Bc,,, they can come back, mayb, n that’s sys life

4 us we feel ALL of those @ once

I wnt lie <:^) 4 som oldr mmbrs, we hope they dnt come back, b then 4 som we hope they do com back, n it’s this balance of trying not 2 b toxic-positive n trying not 2 erase the hope if we do wnt them 2 com back

IDK it’s so— mssy Bc u shld allow urself 2 grieve- bc dormancy CAN feel like death (frm an obsrvr?), n o man the syscourse that exists @ the mere mention of treating drmncy like death? Scares me, n I jst wnna put it out ther that it involves a lot of grieving somtimes,,,m yes, it can b traumatic depending on how said dormancy was brought 2 ur attention or knwldge

4 us we’e still grieving over that last mssg frm them, we’re angry 4 those who went drmnt n also @ Them who went drmnt? Idk man

TLDR don’t- I repeat- do NOT,,,,, treat drmncy as the answr

If ur in a systm out ther, I kno it hard, n frick, drmncy is such a complic8d topic in systems period, b drmncy is not the answ

Bc yes drmncy is not prmnnt 4 som systms, (n by prmnnt I mean that sys mite jst not have awakenings as common @ all; every sys is diff) b drmncy is,,, most of the time a scary thought 4 systms

It’s- it’s not sui litrlly, b,,, it;s,, is almost similar IF- n I repeat- if it’s used as an escape, esp in a bad way

N like w sui// we wnt entirely blame you if @ all, b it’s sad- n it’s hard

Bc like ”irl” ppl arnd u who care r affctd- n knowing it’s by ur own hand is hard 2 accept

Bro, anon my dude, I’m so srry this is such a messy post KDNKDND our exprnces w it is so recent n it’s SUCH a complic8d topic 2 discuss w/o fear of ppl yelling @ u abt spreading misinfo

We’re a rlly big outlier 2 the usual sys exp w dormancies bc we’ve had SO many exprncs of it being rel8d 2 sui/ of death from othr systms Onesides our own), n it’s not jst random systems, it systems who we were close 2 n we got hurt by

I dnt wnna talk abt whether or not what we experiencs was real b yea thats our experiences n not the resources,, since that’s the question KNS

#from kris’chara was gnna answ b #i wntd 2 #ask #anon #suicide #dormancy #headspace #ask to tag #death #death mention #suicide mention #im srry i make 0 sense #im gttng rlly insecure abt my communic8ion skills bc outspace dnt seem 2 undrstnd anyth i say n i wish i was kddng w this #like rlly my slef esteem abt being coherent is going dwn the drain bc we’re goin thru smth in school n tryin 2 fix sm stuff #ive had 2 releat myskf sm times the oast 2 weeks n every adult in our vicinity says they cant undrstnd me dkhkd #anywy yea. im srry- pls do NOT treat this post a s a reaource or advice this is litrlly me answ the question #yes im afraidof syscourse #@ every single second i breathe abt what we go thru #from kris #abuse #manipulation #me @ our fllwrs: how r yall still here #like what Cintent do we Prvde that makes u stay dkdbdkdbdh #content* #ALSO this is NOT whatvthe prev post was abt

[elixirity]

december 0520

so this was an idea on my mind for quite some time already. since this year was super unexpected and like seriously not the best, i wanted to do something to at least remember the last few parts of it by. the idea was something like - every day/ night of december, i type out one or more things i am thankful for in my life. and i kinda missed the first 5 days of it cos im so heckin tired every night although i literally sleep 12hours every single day. ok anyways j took a short break to wear my retainers isit j me or is evryone scared of their teeth shifting back to their original position after braces - i am already so unsatisfied with the ugliness of my teeth even after braces but cant do anyth abt that rn can i. 

anyways. yea that was my idea super wholesome and stuff but since my stupid distracted ass cant stick to a single idea im j gon make it like a brain dump of the last *30* now 25 days of december cos i dont think i wanna forget this year. also mahims i know i talked to u regarding writing a diary and i think is as close as it gets lmao thanks for the idea n encouragemnt tho. 

this year was so. interesting. honestly its the most apt usage of that word i’ve ever had in my entire life of 17 years. start of this yr, i can remember being literally 

so 

bored 

legit 

bored 

like i had seriously NOTHING to do and i was like the definition of stoner

i j read like fanfictions and watched utube 24/7 and then i was so fkin excited for sch to start like omg i am going to meet so many new ppl and make so many friends i know me and meenu had this whole idea of like becoming loners and j fully mugging our way out of jc and i was actually serious about that idea cos like yaknow what else is important apart mugging amirite and it seemed so ideal like the campus is hecking huge anyways whos gon find out if i j fucked off and like started mugging at some randomass corner and honestly those who didnt know i existed didnt need to know i did. or smt lidat that was my thought process but as wbk i cant survive without ppl THAT IS ONE THING I REALISED ABOUT MYSELF THIS YEAR NOTE yes i literally need some person like 

existing 

alongside me. leme try to explain it doesnt really make sense. like i keep asking ppl wyd or i check if theyre online and stuff cos i need to know if there is anyone who is currently present in my life and im not suddenly like alone and shit idk ew i sound cringe but that kinda sums it up. like i know i think of going off the grid to mug and start tryna fking pass school but i dont think i ever can. i will keep trying cos maybe i will be successful one day. dont know if thats for the better or for the worse but i do know one day i will have to learn to be by myself and not be needing to know of people’s existence to be grounded. yea but start of the year went by like this. and then it was sKOOL orientation days were soo cool i knew nobody i mean i had vishnu and harshnee in my og and literaly every other person from rg was walking around but all of us were so. new. like u get wadaimean yea it was cool but Hecking Sad i mean really sad i know i say i hate all the cringey running around and like introductory shit that goes on in orientation camps and all but there is always this new fascination like you can never know if u will find your next bestie in that grp or anywhere. ya but i was super sad that orientation got cancelled and it was even worse cos my o was pretty dead in the sense that i could sense that the jockish ppl wanted to go out and stuff but no one really initiated anything so we just. didnt. and we dont even talk to each other anymore lmfao but is alrt they were nice ppl n im thankful to meet them. 

then it was clas time omg my class was sooo quiet at the start of the year. ok one thing i still rmbr i was so shocked about was the number of indians in my class. i mean i still am but . literaly when has one ever had a indian person as the person on the register before you AND after you?!??!?!?!?!? yes and i was like o wow this is 

interesting 

and it was honestly my class ppl are angels and i cant be more thankful for all of them and god i mean this legit like i love yall guys 

i mainly hung out with like shwetha and vishnu at the start of the yr cos we knew each other so that was cool for a bit then i hung out with gopesh alot cos he was p cool and nice and he had weird but nice humour now that im writing this i kinda miss talking to him but it eez wat it eez. people are like passing clouds in your life. and you honestly never see them pass by you but they do and you cant do much to stop them or anything they just do. you can only reminisce after they left or j faded away.  then i went home with the sengang karthik varshini gopesh and htey were all such cool people sri is so fking cute aaa i wana squish and protec but anws karthik is an interestin fella too he has such cool views on shit and like such a level headed mindset i aSPIREE 

this has extended way past my bedtime i just realised i shall continue tmr. adios!  

[ourlittlebitofnothinguniverse]

Tagged by @snowcatmoon​ ayyyyyyyyy nice thanks i lo v e doing these things

Rules: Answer the questions and tag 20 people. (but not rly bc i’m a nerd who never knos who to tag so basically if u see this and u wanna try it go for it my dude!)

LAST: 1. Drink: Water 2. Phone call: i mean if this is like personal calls it would be my mom calling me @ work but if not it would be a person calling @ work to talk to my boss 3. Text message: uhhhhhh i don’t have a phone so i can’t text but my last fb message was abt my follower count 4. Song you listened to: tally hall - & 5. Time you cried: I frustration cried a little yesterday

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: what is this word, dating 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: kissing? completely foreign concept what’s that 8. Been cheated on: No 9. Lost someone special: yes 10. Been depressed: Have u Seen Me i am a Wreck At All Times 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: never

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12. vibrant or saturated Reds 13. greens across all spectrums 14. warm metallic colors like gold or bronze but not silver bc it’s ugly imo

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: yah! a precious girl who comes into the library p often, she told me abt the story she’s writing and it’s rly cute nd funny and she’s sweet she gave me some of her ar 16. Fallen out of love: nope 17. Laughed until you cried: often lmao 18. Found out someone was talking about you: idk man i’m boring what would they have to talk abt? my sleep patterns? lmao 20. Found out who your friends are: nah not so far this year 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: there’s that word again!!! kissing what is?

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: can’t remember bc i unfollow them and soft block them from all my posts when it happens so honestly i forget they exist lmao ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 23. Do you have any pets: Yah!!!!!!!! archie my love, and two betta fish! 24. Do you want to change your name: yes plea s e 25. What did you do for your last birthday: uhhhh 26. What time do you wake up: a brief moment at 5 to feed my son (archie) and then usually anywhere from 10:00 AM to 2 PM. Depends if i have work 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: FIGHTING A FUCKING CHEATING AI IN A GAME 28. Name something you can’t wait for: leaving this fucking hole of a town i live in rn

29. When was the last time you saw your mom?: this morning 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: FDAHS;KJL just ONE (1) thing???????? 31. What are you listening to right now: Tally Hall - & idk man i just rly like it

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i..... don’t???? know????? 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: Being POOR(tm) 34. Most visited website: TUMBLR, YouTube, and fb so i can talk to most of my friends

35. Mole/s: idk 36. Mark/s: idk???? 37. Childhood dream: veterinarian but i gave up on that bc i’m super squeamish 38. Hair color: brown 39. Long or short hair: medium 40. Do you have a crush on someone: what is this crush thing you speak of? 41. What do you like about yourself: i am a god damn fiLTHY TRASH GOBLIN/DEMON AND IT’S FABULOUS 42. Piercings: the standard ear piercing you get when ur little but i’m allergic to metal so i can’t actually wear earrings (however, despite years of never wearing earrings, the holes haven’t actually ever closed so i still could if i wished which i don’t bc no thanks it gets itchy and hurts)

43. Blood type: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 44. Nicknames?: hoo boy okay any and all variations one can spin on my name (rachel) and: squisheebug (nobody calls me that anymore but it’s become my art handle so i still use it for myself), one friend sometimes calls me kitten, and a bunch more tbh i have so many 45. Relationship status: Single Pringle Not Looking To Flamingle 46. Zodiac: libra scorpio cusp 47. Pronouns: She/her 48. Favorite TV Show: mH i am bad at picking just one favorite lmao 50. Right or left hand: Right-handed 51. Surgery: Not technically? i almost had surgery once when i was like eleven bc the doctors srsly thought i had gallstones but it was actually just acute stress and emotional trauma related pain (i also had a lump of tissue removed from my neck but idk if that counts) 52. Hair dyed in different color: i’m scared it would mess my hair up too much 53. Sport: i don’t sport but i love watching ice skating videos 55. Vacation: i have never been on Vacation(tm) unless you count the trip the seniors took after graduation which was just to make sure that we didn’t Do Drugs. However, ideal vacation would be going across the world visiting abandoned and really old (or haunted) places bc i love that shit i eat it up W/ a S p o o n 56. Pair of trainers: is that like... tennis shoes/sneakers? bc?? i have a pair of converse??

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: hot cheetos 58. Drinking: an otter pop 59. I’m about to: get ready for work 62. Want: A house in my very own forest and for nobody i didn’t like to ever visit me and also the complete destruction of capitalism and world peace and the complete deconstruction and rebuilding of our government and far more time in one life than currently exists and abt a billion other things but on the more “realistic” (yeah right not in this economy) sidei just want to not live in an apartment anymore, i want to live in a house (also to meet a bunch of my fav youtubers i’d LOVE that) 63. Get married: maybe idk i’m not violently against it but it’s doubtful 64. Career: i wanna be an animator ahfsdlkjsdafagdfs 65. Hugs or kisses: currently: neither! Hands Off Pls 66. Lips or eyes: both preferably but u kno we can’t be picky 67. Shorter or taller: aaaa who cares?????? 68. Older or younger: doesn’t matter idk 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: both! tummies are so cute and arms are Good for Hugging (when i’m not touch repulsed) 71. Sensitive or loud: what is the correlation between those two they aren’t opposites what 72. Hook up or relationship: bitch miss me w/ hookups if i ever do date somebody it’s gon be ride or die it’s gon be Commi T m e n t(tm) 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: why

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: No 75. Drank hard liquor: No 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: yah 77. Turned someone down: probably? if so i wouldn’t have known 78. Sex on the first date: St O p 79. Broken someone’s heart: Probably not? i’m not the most Lovable(tm) person, as far as i kno nobody has even liked me lmao 80. Had your heart broken: yah but like?? platonically 81. Been arrested: No 82. Cried when someone died: only ppl i didn’t kno that well have died around me but if i even THINK one of my friends might die i start bawling my eyes out and can’t stop 83. Fallen for a friend: ??

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84: Yourself: sometimes 85. Miracles: yes 86. Love at first sight: nope 87. Santa Claus: yesssssss but the concept of him not the actual jolly fat guy who brings presents. 88. Kiss on the first date: I DON’T UNDERSTAND DATING (just leaving @snowcatmoon‘s response bc i’m laughing rly hard and same)

OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: what are u just supposed to have one? 91. Eye color: brown 92. Favorite movies: *rolls out a mile long list* okay do u want this alphabetically, in order from the first time i watched it? in order of How Many times i’ve watched it or?

i am not going to tag anybody bc i am an eg who doesn’t know ppl to tag so!!!!! if u see this and u wanna try it like i said before!!!! feel free to pls!!! also if u do i’d love it if u tagged me in it bc i’m curious abt who all follows me aaa

#have fun peeps

[nerves-nebula]

Idk if it was recent but I was scrollin for tmnt 2012 mikey stuff and I saw an ask you answered about the 2012 abusive to mikey fics lol- Obv you dont have to answer but Id like to pit my two cents in- Which is like,,,Lowkey as long as its done well I dont think the “omg rise verse treats each other much better and adopt 2012 mikey fics” are that bad- Theres plenty and I mean PLENTY of like abusive splinter abusive 2012 bros fics out there and like its honestly a hit or a miss on all of them???

Like legit as its written well I dont think those fics are exactly much of a problem- Bc its just like “omg they help each other heal” kinda thing- I do personally prefer the fics where rise is like “erm yall are really fuckin rude to each other” “well yall are all emotionall constipated” and just help each other heal n shit lol

-2012 TMNT Enthusiast <3

idk shit about shit TO BE HONEST. I have NO horse in this race except for the nebulous horse-concept of "I like to read fics about abuse and i want the abuse to be realistic or well thought out in one form or another"

i never got around to watching all of 2012 and i probably never will cuz sometimes it makes me UNCOMFORTABLE but not like, in the fun way that i seek out. it makes me uncomfortable in the "oh the people writing this thought this was a funny joke but it mirrors my home life too much to be funny and now im uncomfortable cuz i'm painfully aware that there are ppl out there that think this is just like. comedy. and probably don't even care ppl like me exist." <- person who was lowkey bullied by its sibling

like there are things to appreciate in 2012 for sure and i even like it like 60% to 70% of the time but it's also kind of triggering sometimes and i cant really tell when it will be either one of those.

ok but thats just me talking about my feeligns- BACK TO THE SUBJECT AT HAND:

I honestly don't see a lot of value in reading fics that are like, a meta "here's what i think is wrong with this series" or bashing other versions of tmnt. i mean i understand why someone would write them but they don't hold a lot of value for me personally as a reader.

to this day my favorite A-Team Is Abusive fic is These Days, it's been abandoned i think, but reading it was soooo good for me. I remember the genuine anxiety i felt while donnie was setting up his plan to run away. the authors got other fics too and it makes me CRAVE some good dysfunctional family reconciliation.

also it's clear, or at least it appears so to me, that the author really cares about these characters and is kind of taking the whole "ok but what if its not slapstick and we take the physical violence stuff and belittling stuff seriously" route which is like. yeah i really like that actually.

plus the like, leo dealing with the pressure of leading his family and kinda failing is !!! idk. and i really liked raph there cuz he was like a jerk but also totally understandable to me yknow, if you've been doing something forever it might not occur to you that it's REALLY BAD hhfasujgksadmagg.

GOD IM JUST TALKING ABOUT MY FEELINGS AGAIN AAA

as for rise/2012 crossovers. uh. shrug emoji. idk shit about shit but the few ive tried to read weren't realllyyyy my kind of thing, cuz they mostly seem to be meta fics about the authors opinon on fandom stuff instead of like. anything else, hefff. so. eh.

#nnstuff #ask #tmnt #forgot to post this yesterdayyy #this is not. a good post.