#lila has much more reason to hate five than the umbrellas have to hate the Swedes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

spicycheeto · 2 years

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you wanted an ask so here we go! don’t know if it was answered already, but could you evaluate on all of the hagreeves kids? like what are your opinions on them, if you like their character development throughout the series and what are you expecting to come for them in the new serie? thanks for the answer, I’m really curious!

Oh here we go! If a little of my obsessiveness towards whatever comes through... than woops. You didn't see it.

Luther. At first I kinda hated him. Now, I'm indifferent. I think he's a nice guy. I think his heart is always in the right place. I think he grew a lot from season 1 to 2. He made mistakes, and I'm sure he has a lot of regrets stored away.

I think Hargeeves played on his weaknesses as a child so much to the point it drove him to literally see no other purpose in life other than to be his lapdog. Luther was always the closest with their father than the rest of the siblings, and I think this is for a reason. He played on Luther's insecurities a bit, I believe. We know how abusive and manipulative Hargeeves was as a father. I don't need to go into that.

I do think all of the siblings are well rounded, and it's difficult to see it when there seems to be a lot more obvious flaws in a character than strengths. He may not be a perfect leader, and I think this was partially Hargreeves' fault. Luther is, honestly, just a sweet guy. I definitely do think they could've used him for more in season 2. He seemed kind of sidelined.

I don't really have many extraordinary thoughts about him. I try not to think about him, to be totally honest.

Diego. Okay, I have some things to say. I think he's been played with as Number Two by Hargeeves enough as a child. It's led him to the exact superhero complex discussed in the show countless times.

He's seen as this big macho vigilante type in season 1, but seems to be quite the opposite in season 2. It's clear from the beginning he is kind and caring, though through a rough exterior. Both Lila and Patch brought that out in him, which I liked a lot. He's a mommas boy, who was seeking Grace out and protecting her in both timelines, and I belive he will try to do the same in season 3. Most of all, he loves his siblings, no matter how much they annoy the hell out of him. Though, I think almost anyone with siblings can atest to that.

I think in season 3 they're gonna be exploring a bit of his "parenting" side. Have you seen the stills of him, Klaus, and Javon Walton's character? Maybe I'm drawing too much from one picture, but I actually think Klaus and Diego are gonna be fighting over who gets to parent this kid through the entire season. I think it's a nice idea.

Allison. Now I have mixed feelings about her. Mostly, I like her. She's one of those characters where I know there's something about her I don't like, but I can't put my finger on it.

I love where she went at the end of season 1. I know that seems morbid, but I liked the idea of her neck injury. I wasn't upset when her injury healed. I'm just glad it didn't seem like they rushed it. They didn't show her recovery, but it was clear for a bit of time she was mute and was slowly recovering to get her voice back. Her goodbye with Raymond was gut wrenching, and I am glad she was given a second chance at a happy marraige. So glad she will hopefully be able to reunite with Claire for the next season, if only for a little bit.

Following the trend of the seasons, it looks like she'll be the one of season 3 to have a big obsession. Maybe it's Claire? I saw this theory somewhere else, but now I'm starting to believe she'll turn from her siblings in season 3. Maybe she'll join the Sparrows, in exchange for Sloane to join the Umbrellas. I actually do like this idea.

Klaus. Oh baby, my favorite. I think he still has a lot of potential. I think there are many directions they can go with all of the characters. But Klaus, Five, and Viktor particularly, there's just so much they can unfold and work with.

One of the directions I hope they don't go down is somehow bringing Dave back into the equation. We barely got anything of him in season 1 to actually be attached to him (aside from Klaus' own feelings). And seaosn 2 made it very clear Dave wanted nothing to do with Klaus, and he died in Vietnam just as always. I think it would be a good opportunity to explore how Klaus is dealing with this in the future world, and maybe just move on entirely.

I know there are a lot of his comic powers the directors still have to unpack, and I know one of them is fire related. Don't really know how fire works in with death and the afterlife, but there we are. I know he has some arsonistic powers from the comics. It was possibly hinted at in season 1 when he destroyed the briefcase after coming back from Vietnam and the case went up in flames. But I know he still has a lot to unpack, and I think it will happen next season. I'm excited for what they have in store for him.

Five. My other darling favorite. There's so much to work with here. First of all, he is a 60 year old man in a 13 year old body. He has the mind of a borderline elderly (yet is still sharp as the axe he murdered the board of committees with). It's clear his love for his family is a superpower all in its own, though he's rought to show it. He's like Diego in that way.

There's not a place for romance with him. And that's okay! That's great! I hate it when producers are led to believe everyone must have a romantic partner in order for the story to still succeed. I would be perfectly okay with none of the siblings iNteRMinGLing, but that's just me. Five is gonna be a loner, for the time being. Not for the next ten years, at least. And even then, it's gonna have to seem like a sugar-relationship type deal. Or like that one couple on tiktok (you know who I'm talking about). As his body ages, I do believe his mind will start aging along with it. We don't know for sure how that all works, since he hasn't actually had the opportunity to age since he came back from the future. But it seems like that would be the easiest and most explainable solution, yes?

I'm so glad they're actually giving Five a break this season! He actually gets to take a nap! He's in a hotel bath robe, he's chilling in his old man clothes, he's living his best life. I sincerely think Five will go full Luther-route from the beginning fo season 2 and say "figure this out on your own, suckers lol" and just peace out of there. Lord knows the man deserves it.

Also, can we please let there be an actual time skip for him. Five has been dealing with these 2 (maybe 3) apocalypses back to back with zero time in between. His siblings have had years to recover and recharge their superhero batteries. Meanwhile, Five is also aging physically. And we can tell from the trailer. Aiden is 18 playing a 13 year old. And the thing is... Aiden looks his age. He cannot pass as a tiny child much longer. He's maturing and growing like a stalk of corn.

I saw one funny theory that was through all of season 3, Five is just gonna be in the background of every shot or sititng down. That'll be the only way they'll be able to disguise how tall Aiden has gotten. Well, I gotta agree. It's not looking great. I feel like they would have planned an seen it coming that their main character (who happens to be a teenager) is gonna age a lot quicker than how his character's timeline is moving. Over the past 2 season Five has aged barely 3 weeks. Aiden aged 5 years.

I didn't think Five would actually be the longest explanation I would do. I thought it would be Diego or Klaus. Oh well.

Ben. We really don't know much about this funky little guy, do we? Everything we know about him is left up to headcanons.

He was my favorite for a hot second, then I just remembered Klaus and thought "yeah, this one's a little better". I think simply cause we've been allowed to have more of a connection with anyone else in the family than we have with Ben.

I think Sparrow Ben is gonna be EXCITING. I really think I'm gonna like the direction they're taking him in. And that's all I have to say about that.

Viktor. Now I don't know how they're gonna handle the transition from Vanya to Viktor. They could just never address it, and he's been himself forever. Or he actually comes out, and you see the transition as the season is going on. I think the second one makes more sense for them to go with. It would be a little jarring if for two seasons he was someone and then BOOM, no no he's someone else. That would be a little confusing for someone who hadn't been following Elliott. Also, continuity wise, they need to stay steady.

Anyway, I can imagine Viktor just going up to Klaus and being like "so, gender". And Klaus is like "omg broski SAME". And it's just a cute sibling bonding moment.

Thanks for this! It took me a While, but here. I was straight up working on it for a solid two hours straight!

#the umbrella academy #umbrella academy season 3

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luckylumberjack · 2 years

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Holy shit umbrella academy s3 really took a lot out of me. Twice I stopped and debated if continuing to see the finale would be worth sitting through all of the HOURS of Luther's uninspiring cishet bs love affair with his new timeline sister. Or watching Allison's character devolve into a " woman tortured by grief turned villainous" troupe. They straight up had her murder an autistic character with no remorse & sexually assault Luther who she has shown zero interest in for a long time. Plus having her & the rest of the family continually gas light Viktor by blaming him for everything bad that is happening even though he redeemed himself & was the only one thinking of the well being of his loved ones? Meanwhile everyone else gets to be generally shitty & lie but it doesn't matter. Everyone was like Oh Allison is crazy and violent now but I don't care to do anything about it, fuck you Viktor for calling her out on murdering your friend who was trying to help us all despite the fact that we are the reason his life became hell. Even though he was autistic and had an emotional outburst when his mother died (after her miserable life of being on the run bc of the umbrella academy left him with powers he couldn't control), which triggered the powers that then killed all their mothers who were no where near him and he had no intention of harming. And killing him didn't matter. It didn't fix the timeline & he wasn't the main fault for everyone's present being erased including Claire. And so they just move on without apologizing to Viktor.

I thought it was a stretch that they made Allison hate Viktor for Claire not existing. They are all responsible for time being fucked. It's not just one cause. And it's not all on Viktor who was continually a victim to their father and the whole family. He is always thrown under the bus and no one listens to him which results in him being tortured to the point of destruction and ending the world. Which they all survive and then repeat the same mistakes!

The writers made a point to have Viktor transition & it be his choice. It was simple and quick. But too much so? I like that it wasn't made to be dramatic. I like that they all jumped on board with it in minutes & switched the name and pronouns. I like that they called him little brother. But then they lay it on SO THICK that they will kill anyone who messes or hurts their little bro, only to continue treating him like shit! And Five literally says he'll murder him on the spot if he lies to him again. They treat him like a dumb, dangerous baby. Over & over.

The part where Luther guilts him into apologizing to Allison even though she was ridiculously cruel to him hit me so close to home I was shaking.

Viktor wasn't wrong to be mad. And no one really stood up for him. No one pulled Allison aside when she basically told him to go die. Instead they make Viktor go appease her & apologize for being upset about her murdering his friend. And she doubles down by being horrible & say she did nothing wrong.

They make us watch them have the same fight multiple times, each time Viktor being more and more alone.

I would've liked a full hours worth of content on Viktor's transition and talking about his relationship with Sissy that helped him discover who he truly was. I loved the confidence, personality, & humor that Viktor had this season. Elliot did a fantastic job & seeing his happiness come through was heartwarming.

But watching the writers drag his and Allison's characters through the dirt & spend an ungodly amount of time on Luther's hallmark love life was painful. An adorable transman with superpowers that literally ended the world multiple times is 1000x more interesting than a straight oaf whose character has never been anything more than "I'm sad bc my dad sent me to the moon to get rid of me & my sister won't fuck me." Klaus, Allison, Deigo & Lila, Five, & most of the Sparrows are way better characters as well. I have no idea why Luther dominated screen time. I gotta wash my brain out with a good show asap.

#I'm ranting & I'm not sure why I'm hyperfocused on this when there's way more important shit happening #Umbrella academy #Spoilers

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upset-hufflepuff · 3 years

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Friendly reminder that the Swedes weren't even as bad as Five.

They weren't villains. They were doing their job, same way Five was. And Five was worse than them all combined.

They just appear like the bad guys because they go against our main characters, but everyone is the main character in their own story.

#lila has much more reason to hate five than the umbrellas have to hate the Swedes #bUt FiVe wAs jUsT fOLLoWiNg oRDeRs bro so were they #i feel so bad for the last swede #he had to lose his brothers and one he was forced to kill himself #its horrible i feel bad #the Umbrella Academy #tua #tua s2 #tua season 2 #the swedes #five Hargreeves

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kneworder · 3 years

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I’ve seen a few TUA 3 wishlists but I’ve been disappointed by my favorite shows a few too many times, so here’s everything I’m literally begging them NOT to do in TUA 3:

- Spend a lot of time on the Sparrow Academy. Not because I don’t think that would be interesting, but, as I’ve seen other people say, there’s so much I want to see out of the Umbrella cast. Honestly, I care so little about the Sparrow Academy members -- they’re not the characters I’m attached to. I’m terrified that Umbrella development and plotlines are going to be sacrificed in favor of the Sparrows, or even worse, neither group will get anything meaningful because the show is spread so thin balancing 6 new characters.

- Spend a lot of time deeply developing relationships between Sparrows and Umbrellas. Again, I literally do not care about the Sparrows outside of them being side characters/antagonists/plot devices. I swear if we get Five or Allison bonding with random new Sparrows when they’ve barely had any scenes together I’ll be furious.

- Vanya starts the apocalypse again. Or actually? The apocalypse is a conflict at all. It was great round 1, it was fine round 2, it’ll be repetitive if it happens yet another time. I know Vanya is supposed to always be the bomb, but p l e a s e give them another conflict, I’m begging.

- Fan favorites never face any repercussions for their actions. This is a smaller one that mostly comes from a place being annoyed that Klaus got to start a cult and cut Ben off from the rest of the family and never got seriously called on it, and that Vanya straight up ended the world (understandable given the circumstances, but still) and then got amnesia-ed out of a real conversation about that. I don’t hate these characters, I’d just appreciate it if the gravity of their actions was examined, I guess?

- Adding onto that, PLEASE no outrageous fanservice at the expense of character. I love contrite himbo Luther as much as the next person, but we only got that because of the fan reaction to his character. And while that isn’t necessarily a problem, I’ve seen shows that try so hard to please their audiences by putting fan favorites in more prominent positions and sticking with the same team-ups people already liked and, in doing so, reduce their characters to the one-note that the loudest part of the fandom already has (sorry, but I’m looking at you, ST3). Extremely worried that between the new influx of characters and the precedent for (slight) fanservice, they’ll go overboard and flanderize all the characters we know and love into bastardized and simplified versions of themselves. This especially applies to Five -- he has very specific traits (small, angry, violent) that he can easily be flattened into, and hasn’t gotten to experience an arc heavy on character rather than plot -- and to Klaus -- similarly specific traits (hedonist, funny, angsty) he can be and in some ways already has been flattened into.

- Five gets a love interest, please that would feel weird and wrong on literally every level.

- Actually, personally, I don’t really want to see any of them get love interests. This is a show that’s supposed to focus on family, and straying too far from that theme will just turn it into an ensemble show. I had no issues with Lila, Ray, and Sissy! But the reason they worked was because the time skip allowed for the conceivable formation of relationships between them and characters cut off from their siblings. There (probably) won’t be a significant time skip this time around, so new romantic relationships would be little out of left field.

- Soundtrack that bangs but is irrelevant, or, far worse, a boring soundtrack. S2 had a good soundtrack, but S1 had a soundtrack that fit each scene specifically. The music felt like a character, and I’d hate to see the show move away from something so unique and interesting! (Plus the soundtrack makes up some of my most listened to music so. Please guys, I need new music.)

- Allison (& Claire) get shelved. Allison’s daughter was just literally unmade. Please give Allison a solid and central plotline. (Ideally, Allison would drive the action because she has the most skin in the game, while Five would get to take a break from being the connector since all of his key motivations have been accomplished, but that’s just me!).

So that’s just. A few things. tbh I’ll probably think of more, this genuinely makes me so nervous.

tl;dr, All I want is for them to keep the focus on the siblings, remain character driven, and stay away from repetitive story arcs. Please, I am begging for TUA to stay good,,,,,,

#The Umbrella Academy #tua negativity #preemptively?? I guess???#long post #tua season three #ev speaks #tua meta #maybe?????? idk y'all im just Scared #blease mr Blackman let me have just one good show #sparrow panic

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angelicamerlinbarnes · 3 years

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TUA MEAN GIRLS AU

(please understand that by AU, I mean they share an incredibly small amount of things in common with the original source material which I barely remember BUT the “story” takes place in the setting of the film) (not to be misleading or anything :p)

(BEWARE: abuse, bribery, immoral deals, bullying, homophobia, outing, transphobia, violence, abortion, teen pregnancy, etc.)

(If you can handle watching Umbrella Academy, this will be fine for you.)

(Regina) Five is the king of this school, and he has no plans to give up that position. He needs it to protect his people, as few and far between as they are, and himself, if he’s honest - he’s a trans and ace-aro kid in platonic love with the health class mannequin who he calls Dolores. Ruling with fear is basically all he can do. While he’s mean, you’ll soon realize that everything he says is more of a blunt observation that will improve your life if you just heed his advice. He doesn’t respect almost anybody - not the jocks, theatre geeks, nerds, cheerleaders, band kids - no one. However, if he does respect you, you have his trust and protection. And as a thirteen-year-old genius who only takes advice from always-slightly-drunk art teacher Agnes, his protection is pretty damn valuable: the last person who tried to hurt one of his people will never walk again. Leonard Peabody - he assaulted Vanya, and he paid. Five beat him to the point of hospitalization without getting a single speck of blood or bruise on himself, and Leonard’s the one who walked away in handcuffs. Do not fuck with any of Five’s people, or you have to fuck with Five. And you do not want to fuck with Five.

(Gretchen) Vanya is quiet and subdued, to the point where people question how she’s a part of the school’s most popular trio. If you talk to her for long enough though, it becomes clear: she knows any and everybody’s secrets. She writes for the school paper, and is known to write the stories her subjects don’t want anyone else to find out about. Like Diego, who she outed as bisexual last year to throw people off the trail of her own secret relationship with Sissy, earning her an ex-girlfriend and an ex-friend. She’s been trying to win Diego’s forgiveness ever since, but he won’t talk to her, returning every single one of her letters and gifts. (He’s blocked her number and all of her socials, which she only created to talk to him anyway.) She doesn’t know why Five keeps her around - Klaus loves to gossip, but Five never seems to want any of her secrets. She’s pleasantly surprised to find out that he apparently actually enjoys her company. (What?)

(Karen) Klaus is a fucking mess. He plays the dumb blonde (well, brunette) despite being a genius in his own right, even if he’s not at Five’s level. (To be fair, he’s pretty sure no one is.) He’s a drag queen on the weekends, a hangover from his time in the mafia gang, which he joined with his boyfriend Dave for six months after running away from home. Dave died in a gunfight, and Klaus has been fucked up (well, more than usual) ever since. Anorexia, PTSD, anxiety, depression, self-harm, suicidal ideation, the works. But as lonely as he is, addicted to a fuckton of hard drugs and liquors to cope, he’s still an alluring, aloof, and bubbly popular girl, wearing pink skirts and glittery heels and leather corset crop tops to school every day. No matter how much his father Reginald beats him for it, he keeps being himself, because he’s brave and because even if Reginald hates him, someone far more important loves him… Diego. Diego, who Klaus has kissed under a million stars and in the lollipop shop down the road and on top of a cafeteria table. Diego, who Klaus has chased through the rain and into the street without rest or hesitation. Diego, whose words and promises and scribbles are immortalized on Klaus’ skin for all to see. Diego, who Klaus will love no matter how much bigotry they encounter or dickwads they’re beat up by or miles they put between them. Diego, Klaus’ ex-boyfriend.

(Cady) Allison is the new girl, and she has plans for the advantage being underestimated has brought her. She challenges Five on her first day there, earning his respect, and joins his group at the urgings of Klaus and Vanya, who like her company. A fashion queen, she acts as though she’s unfazed by any and everything, but nobody knows her true heartbreak - she still writes letters to a girl back home. Allison was expelled from her Christian private school for falling in love with a girl named Natalie, who she kissed in janitors’ closets and who she beat up racist and homophobic blondes for. She has no tolerance for bullies, and yet becomes one under Five’s guidance - until she upends his reign as queen bee and signs her death warrant. (Though she later finds out he was more angry at her for stealing Klaus and Vanya’s affection than his popularity.) Now her only hope for happiness in her final days is Ray, the Shakespeare-quoting nerd in her English class… or Luther, the quiet dork in the Star Trek t-shirts in her math class. Fuck, she misses Natalie.

(Aaron) Luther is the posterboard for toxic masculinity. He’s on the football team but hates it, preferring his math tutoring and fantasy books to tackling drills. His bisexuality is his deepest secret - he once slept with Diego when they were drunk at a party after a football game, and he can’t get it out of his head. He keeps thinking about what might happen if somebody found out - would he be shunned like Diego? Trapped like Vanya? Plastic like Klaus? He doesn’t know. All he can do is continue to be kind and hope Allison loves him enough to love every part of him, beyond his good lucks and British accent and fucking Ray. So Luther stands up to Five, and pays the price. He compliments Klaus on his skirts, and pays the price. (Diego seems to simultaneously love and hate him for it, it’s confusing.) He holds the door open for Ben, and pays the price. He’s big enough to be scary, kind enough to be overlooked - but after that incident with Vanya, everyone looks at him like he’s a monster to be locked up. And soon enough, “star student” Luther, “teacher’s pet” Luther, “completely under the principal’s thumb and completely friendless and completely terrified of the world around him” Luther might just break under all that pressure.

(Janis) Diego is the school’s resident outcast and rebel punk - he wears skirts and fishnets and whatever the fuck he wants because if Klaus taught him anything when they were dating it was that gender is a construct and he looks hot in leather. They broke up when Diego was outed and Klaus chose to stay quiet when people started shunning Diego for it, but despite it all, Diego still loves him. He misses when they used to paint their nails together, because he has to paint his own now. They used to stare up at the stars together and fall asleep in the grass, curled up in each other, on the nights that Klaus would run away in terror from his dad and Diego would breathe with him and let him press his hand against his heart until Klaus’ panic died down. His heart still flutters when he sees Klaus smile around a lollipop… but he won’t take him back. He won’t. He just can’t forgive him. So instead, he talks to his mom about everything. He plays soccer with his sister Eudora. He paints shit while smoking weed with his best friend Lila. He thinks of Luther being scared of him and laughs. You know, he was almost in Allison’s position freshman year - Five loved him, and so did Klaus and Vanya, but then Vanya outed him to the whole school for no reason like a day before he and Klaus were going to come out together. And now they’re all estranged, and Diego has the strangest feeling that he’s lost his family, even though his mom is the only real family he’s ever known. But maybe he’s wrong. Because Klaus keeps sending him “anonymous” letters, leaving them on the porch and spilling secrets Diego never even would’ve imagined him having. But forgiveness is still a question - that is, until one day Diego gets a letter in a different handwriting: Five’s, telling him to man the fuck up and love Klaus before he kills himself trying to tear the stars down for Diego’s own personal pleasure, and suddenly, Diego is crying on his porch in the rain, missing a slender, sassy skeleton in his arms and a pink, bruised but unbroken heart in his chest.

(Damien) Ben is everyone’s favorite, and the kindest person in the world. He used to be Klaus’ best friend, but that ended when Ben got into an accident (there was a bus involved, that’s all you need to know) that landed him in a wheelchair and Klaus couldn’t deal with the mental pain it caused him. They still stare at each other longingly from across the cafeteria, but never say a word to each other, not even in class. But beyond Klaus, Ben has never had any friends, though he has a million aquaintances: he’s the only student in the school that everyone loves and respects. Five holds the door for him, though Ben can tell without having to ask that Five would rather nobody know that. He hangs out with Diego because he knows Diego’s lonely, even if he never wants to admit it. He advises Allison not to let anyone control her, telling her he knows Natalie from summer camp and that the deaf girl still loves her and reads every single one of her letters. He gives Vanya his lunch when she skips to cry in the gym after Diego yells at her, even though a part of him might think she deserves it sometimes. He plays sports with Luther after school and offers him an ear and some jokes about his problems, and a few touchdowns when he’s feeling good. He acts as Ray’s student consultant, because he knows how hard Ray works to treat him like an equal. He tutors Eudora in basically everything, but cuts study sessions short to play video games when he can tell she’s too stressed to think. He’s ace and pan and proud about it; he runs the school’s GSA; he defends Diego and uses the right pronouns for Lila when they’re alone without Lila ever having to him he’s trans. He bugs Reginald’s office in one of their many meetings and records enough conversations to get him fired when he tries to expel Five. And finally, karma rewards him - Klaus shows up at his house with a box of brownies he baked himself, all covered in smiley faces, and shoves them into Ben’s hands, shaking his head when Ben assumes they’re for Diego. I miss you, Klaus tells him, and Ben tugs him down into a kiss, pulling away with a stammered apology. I’m sorry, he blushes, and Klaus beams, leaping into his lap and hugging him closer than ever, the two of them queerplatonic partners from then on, forever linked by their fingers in the hallway. Happy. Finally.

Lila is the shy artsy kid who carries around one of those leather brown satchels that looks threatening but is really just code for “I think I’m too cool for a backpack so I stuff all my incorrect homework and favorite comic books into this sack of knockoff pig skin instead”. He’s covered in paint most of the time, and wears Alice in Wonderland combat boots and Sharpie-doodle-covered jeans and big black hoodies and soft grey beanies; he’s trans and hacked off his own hair until an undercut with choppy slash bangs and there’s pink streaks in them, of course, to match the bubblegum he’s always chewing. His nails are bitten and black, and his skin is decorated with tattoos that are almost exclusively Bo Burnham quotes, with the exception of Diego’s name right over his heart. (Diego has Lila’s name over his too - and Klaus’ and Eudora’s, though he’d never tell them that.) He gives his skirts to Klaus and gets along well enough with Five, them both being trans and all, and everyone else knows him as that kid who’ll spread rumors and steal things for bribes. It’s not like he can get in more trouble than he’s already in - he lives with his bigoted and abusive bitch of a mom. But Diego is his best friend - the one he shoots and stabs things with, the one whose ex-boyfriend he talks to because Diego will never admit to himself that he misses Klaus like he would his own lungs if they were torn from his chest, the one whose sister he’s in love with. Wait. Fuck. Oops.

Eudora is Diego’s sister, and the captain of the soccer team. She wears her red jersey with the white numbers to school every day, and is covered in tattoos of magical creatures, because she believes in all of them. She wishes she was a werewolf, and has dressed up as one every year for Halloween since she was ten. (And she’s let anyone dressed a werewolf give her a hickey just in case that turned her. It’s good to have all your bases covered.) She has a broken down pick-up truck named Travis-Trevor-Thomas-literally-any-other-T-name that she loves beyond belief, and drives Diego to and from school in it, though he grumbles about it every day. She eats lunch with him even though he insists he’s fine eating alone and wants her to go away, because she knows he’s lying, and she hangs around the GSA with him sometimes too. She’s lab partners with her brother’s “secret” ex-boyfriend, and is concerned by how quiet he is - she’s seen enough documetaries to know that quiet never means anything good. But unfortunately, she has her own academic drama to deal with - Hazel and Cha-Cha hate her for helping Klaus, and she hates them right back, leading to failing grades in both English and history no matter how brilliant her work is. Mostly, though, Eudora tries to get to know Lila - the pretty, angry, sarcastic emo boy she shares half her classes with, and flirts with every day despite how he ignores her. (ONLY because Lila still smiles and laughs every time she flirts with him, and Eudora knows from Diego that Lila thinks Eudora only flirts with him because it’s some sort of game of “if you get the guy who’s hard to get you win the hundred dollar bet” deal. Otherwise she would’ve backed off immediately because not doing so would be harassment.) Eventually, though, Eudora runs off-field in the middle of a soccer game and over to the stands to ask Lila to prom. Finally, she gets a yes - and, most importantly, a real smile, curled against her own mouth like a Cupid’s bow of promise.

Sissy is Vanya’s ex-girlfriend, and Fuckwad Carl’s current girlfriend. She hooked up with him after breaking up with Vanya, too drunk to even speak, and now her belly’s ballooning and her parents are gonna kick her out unless she marries him like a good Christian woman. And she really didn’t expect herself to tell them to fuck off for this one, but apparently lesbianism makes you do crazy things - so here she is, standing on Ray’s porch in the pouring rain and hoping for the best. She’s depressed and shows that by reading the Bronte sisters; Klaus opens the door for her and brings her notes with doodles all over them which makes her cry; she misses Vanya but hates her for what she did to Diego. And yet Vanya’s there when she goes to the abortion clinic, smiling and joking and holding her hand like always. One day she’ll have a baby and she and Vanya will raise it right, but fuck - that baby sure as hell won’t be Carl’s. (Because fuck that guy.)

Ray is a humanitarian, so, naturally, he’s also the student council president. Five has never mistreated him, because everyone loves and respects Ray, even his critics. He nurtures Allison’s intelligence and encourages Vanya’s musical habits. He tutors Klaus in basically every subject but never talks down to him because he knows the kid’s a genius, just a bit spacey from all the drugs (and the ADHD, let’s be honest). He helps bring Luther out of his shell and takes Lila out shopping for boy clothes, all of which he pays for himself. He’s not scared or offended by Diego’s sarcasm or intensity, instead greeting him every day in class with a new dad joke. He treats Ben to intelligent conversation like an equal and doesn’t let Five be so harsh he’ll regret it later, though he still lets him say what he means and be himself. Everybody knows he’ll be the real President one day - even if for now he wears pajamas to school every day because, in his words, “Clothes are just too much fuckin’ work, man.” (There’s a possibility he may have still been high from hanging out with Klaus that day.)

The Handler is the evil physics teacher. (I don’t know why I said evil clearly all science teachers are evil.) (Yes this is coming from a place of aggression but hey at least I recognize that.) (Plus he deserves it. So fuck you.) (*sticks tongue out*) (Don’t you see how mature I am?) (I’m sorry I’m sorry back to your regularly scheduled programming -) She’s Lila’s mom, and continually and constantly misgenders him (and Five!) in class, not even because she hates trans people, just because she hates him (and Five!). Five always challenges her dictatorial rule, refusing to participate in solidarity with Klaus when she forces Klaus to sit out for wearing skirts. She keeps trying to flunk Ray too, the little bitch, but he just keeps doing so well that she can’t even come up with a falsely plausible reason to fail him! She’s been bribing Hazel and Cha-Cha to flunk certain students for years, unaware that Lila has been stealing from the Handler’s own purse to double those prices for those students to ace their classes. Everybody hates her, and for good reason. I hope she gets fired. (Shut up and let me project onto fictional characters, assholes.)

Reginald is the evil principal and Klaus’ abusive dad. He sends Klaus to school every day in a boys’ “uniform”, which Klaus has to change out of in the bathroom every day with borrowed clothes from Allison. (Anything he owns lives at her house; they have an agreement.) Once Klaus forgot to wash off his nail polish before Reginald came home and he broke all of Klaus’ fingers one by one. (Agnes wants to beat him into dust with a rolling pin.) Klaus stays at Diego’s house a lot, though Klaus refuses to come after they break up even though Diego makes it clear that his door will always be open. Five, therefore, is super protective of Klaus - every time he comes over, he’s super respectful when Klaus is in the room and then verbally rips Reginald to shreds as soon as he’s gone. He once stayed over for an impromptu sleepover when he noticed that Klaus was terrified-ly coming up with more and more ridiculous excuses for Five to stay and not leave him alone with Reginald, and as soon as Klaus was asleep, tiptoed around the house to set up bugs and cameras he got from Ben. He gives all of the evidence to Eudora to deliver to the police, who arrest Reginald and leave him to rot in a cement cell for the rest of his sorry fucking life while Klaus goes on to live Happily Ever After because fuck you and your stupid as shit traditionalism and inhumane experiments you lying scheming fuckwad of a psychopathic monster toad.

Hazel is the exhausted English teacher. His secret? He hates every book he teaches. Also he’s been taking bribes from the Handler and Lila because teachers don’t get paid enough in our society. Also his wife Agnes of twenty years divorced him a year ago for the whole bribery situation and he’s been sleeping in his car and using the school’s facilities to appear fine. Yeah, Hazel’s a mess. ANYWAY - Five is the only one who seems to know what’s going on, and Hazel would like to keep it that way. He knows Klaus is a genius with words but doesn’t know how to tell him that, and he knows Diego’s favorite book is Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen and has agreed to take that secret to his grave. (What, it’s a good book!) His class is the only place Diego and Klaus dare to interact, and he’s noticed - they often pair up for assignments and take to the floor or beanbags in the corner, often cuddling up and giggling over whatever book or assignment they’ve been sent off to read or do. Hazel also has another hopeless couple he teaches, Lila and Eudora - eventually Hazel starts leaving Lila’s sappy poems about Eudora on Eudora’s desk when she comes in for her own class (separate from Lila’s) because there is no other way those two idiots are getting together, let’s be honest. There’s just too much communication. Mostly Hazel misses his own wife, Agnes - but he’s been out of luck since he cashed it in with the science department, hot cocoa whore that he is.

Cha-Cha is the history teacher, and she has all the sass and dry sarcasm required for that job. She will beat a bitch up for telling her she can’t teach critical race theory, and plays Drunk History and Overly Sarcastic Productions in her class basically every day. She doesn’t believe in tests because if she did she’d have to grade them, and she likes animated kids’ movies and TV shows, especially Paw Patrol and Sofia the First. (Yes, obviously she’s single. She’s also ace-aro, so who the fuck cares.) She takes the Handler and Lila’s bribes because she runs an underground wrestling ring and would like to continue feeding her pitbulls gourmet food. The only kid she’s truly on edge with is Five, who often challenges her in debates - she can’t decide if she’s impressed or enraged about it. Whatever. School’s out, bitches.

Agnes is the art teacher who knows everything about everybody. All of her art is of donuts. (Of course.) She’s a damn good cook, especially of pizza - and donuts. (Naturally.) She always has munchkins available for her students - and donuts! (She always saves the chocolate glazed and jelly ones for Five and Klaus.) She likes to rap explicit beats in her car and play her music so loud it shakes the ground and you can hear it from miles away. (Obnoxious.) So she doesn’t restrict her kids’ projects because that’s not what art is about. (And because it would make her a hypocrite, obviously.) Sure, she divorced Hazel, but hey - she’s living her best life, and eventually he’ll come to his senses and come crawling back to her at three a.m. to badly lipsync a Justin Bieber song about missing her, and she’ll leap out the window into his giant hairy arms and kiss him on his ginormous teddy bear face. Because Agnes, at heart, is a hippy. (And that’s love, bitch.)

Grace is Diego and Eudora’s (and everybody’s!) mom. She goes out for drinks with Agnes on the weekends and to clubs with Pogo every Friday (the librarian/unofficial therapist who acts as her mouthpiece when Diego does something stupid and won’t listen to her advice, the moron). She’s kind to everyone, but takes no one’s bullshit: you hurt her kids, you die. Important Notice: Everybody Is Her Kid. So be kind to everyone, dickwads. Well - except Reginald. And the Handler. Both of whom she bitchslaps for mistreating her precious babies. She then takes in Klaus because Diego loves him, and Ben because Klaus loves him, and Lila because both Diego ad Eudora love him. The only reason she didn’t take in Sissy was because Ray already had her taken care of. She’s a literal angel sent from heaven and we should all be worshipping her like the goddess she is I’m sorry I don’t know when this became Grace Appreciation Day™ but hey I’m here for it and I have no regrets.

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myundyingconscience · 4 years

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things i would change about season 2 of the umbrella academy

i just finished it and. i’m upset. sorry it’s so long

i feel like half of this season was just. hmm, who doesn’t have a romantic interest? let’s give them all that. it just felt weird.

diego definitely should not be over eudora?? i get that it’s been some time but he loved her and she was not mentioned once? but sure let’s make him fall for lila

i’m okay with allison and ray. they have so much in common and they bonded and got married and had a life, and vanya i’m also okay with because lesbian rights and i love sissy so like. i can’t be mad.

but do not get me STARTED about ben. he’s a ghost. and shouldn’t have a romantic plot. especially when it’s for a random girl and their relationship doesn’t even have time to be fleshed out at all!! they speak once! it was not necessary and just made me uncomfortable.

didn’t like that allison rumored the swedish guy to kill his brother. we know almost nothing about them except for that they care so much about each other and it was a bitch move. there were other ways to get out of that.

hated that they didn’t say anything about klaus’s relapse. he was sober for 3 years!! and then started drinking again! that’s such a big deal and they just gloss over it.

also with klaus, the first thing is like, his being badass and summoning ghosts to fight, and it’s shown that he can do that with ben, and then its brought up. once. which is bullshit.

ghosts in general are never brought up! he had so much trauma, and yes, he has likely grown into his powers as he’s sober, but there were absolutely no ghosts and thats lame.

hated lila. for many reasons. didn’t like her as a love interest, didn’t like her powers (it just felt cliche and dumb. oh, she can do what you can do! eh. just give her some fun other power), she just acted dumb sometimes, she sorta forced herself back onto diego? like kidnapped him and then said he was her boyfriend. red flag. and i hated her hair, which is a dumb reason but i didn’t like it.

they didn’t say anything about klaus responding to ben being gone. like we didn’t see his reaction or any real emotion. yeah he got a short bit with vanya in the car but ben’s been by his side since they were kids. he didn’t get to say goodbye. he wouldn’t have been that composed and unfazed by it.

small thing but why was gas part of the paradox psychosis thing it just ruined the mood and i hated it

i know i keep talking about klaus but he had a shit season. ben had no right to possess him especially when klaus started to try and kick him out. you should not be afraid to fall asleep! you should not have to be in the same body as your brother kissing a girl! it was shitty and violates klaus’s trust and ben was shitty for doing that

that being said, i feel like ben wouldn’t have done that. it’s so out of character for ben to care more about some girl we barely know than his own brother. it didn’t make sense.

obviously i still hate luther being in love with allison, but honestly it wasn’t too bad in this season, luther was actually pretty chill and had more personality than ‘i’m in love with my sister’ and ‘dad sent me to the moon’ so that was nice

so yeah wack season, final thoughts are: i love vanya, klaus deserved better, and five has had a really bad few weeks.

#the umbrella academy #tua season 2 #the umbrella academy season 2 spoilers #klaus hargreeves #ben hargreeves #allison hargreeves #diego hargreeves #luther hargreeves #number five #vanya hargreeves #fuck this season though #so much of it just felt real weird #idk what the comic is like but some of this just didn't work and i want to know why #i did love five in it #and i actually liked luther a fair amount which was unexpected #klaus deserved better #petition to let vanya be happy

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leapingoldfish · 4 years

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**Warning my immediate feelings post Season 2. Spoilers for The Umbrella Academy**

Just finished The Umbrella Academy season 2. Dang, it was so good. It was so much fun. But god damn what the fuck was that ending. We're gonna meet Dark!Ben next season, wth. This is why you dont try and meet you're dad before you were born, you fuck up the timeline and then this shit happens. I'm glad the siblings learned their lesson though when Vanya left by herself and actually followed because Suprise! Treating people well usually keeps them from causeing the appocolype multiple times. And Harlan!! His powers. In so excited for that babe to show up as an old man. Sissy is probobly dead by 2019, but Harlan would be like 70. The last scene was so weird I'm not over it. I didnt hate it, I am just sooo confused. I'm ready though. God damn. 10/10. Really good! The cgi was a little weird in bits. Otherwise visually it was amazeing. The fight scenes were really good also. I loved the fight between the two fives. That whole scequence between the two is really fun. They had to send old five back to 2019 so that young five had a reason for existing, but then at the end 2019 is a diffrent reality, and thinking about the time paradoxes is makeing my brain hurt so I'm gonna stop. Those suitcases though. Theyre more delicate than a wet piece of tissue paper. I'm surprised there was even one functional in that field at the end. I would also like to complain about how they did Hazel dirty. I was ready for a fun Hazel and Agnes with their donut shop and maybe a few kids chillin in the 60's trying to stay out of this commission bull shit, but then they killed Agnes off screen and gave Hazel like 5 minutes. He didnt get to do anything and that makes me really sad. Speaking of sad, I'm happy to see Five experiencing some genuine human emotions. At first I thought it was kind of ooc for five to ask for Luther's help so quickly, but then I realized that all the others have had time to process everything in season one, while Five went immediately from seeing the moon explode to seeing a nuke get dropped. This kid has not had time to think about anything. I'm not suprised he's running a bit thin. Give Five a nap! Have we ever seen him voluntarily unconscious? No because he needs to get to actually sleep. And please give him some new cloths. Like dude, I think its time you gave your umbrella academy duds the time out and wore human cloths. Like that shirt miraculously got clean after mudering a dozen people. Idk about y'all, but blood is so hard to get out of white. Maybe I missed something because usually the show is really good on continuity and keeping physical changes as they go throughout the season. One thing I will say though is Five should ve deaf this season. He had a tank go off in his left ear. That isnt good for your hearing ever. It was so good, this season. I loved it So much. I called the Lila powers thing. I'm happy with myself about that. After her fight with Five and learning her parents died in 93 when she was 4. It wasn't a supper hard mystery, but I usually miss these things. I thought her powers were illusion, but I like her actual powers way better! They are so cool! Lila is a cool character, though I'm not a hundred percent sold on her. Or her and Diego. Like dude, your girlfriend died I think 3 months ago for you, falling in love with Lila is a little quick but okay. To each their own. I'm sad Allison couldnt be with Ray, I understand everything he was saying, but he was so good to her. I get why sje fell in love with him. Shit, if the Umbrella Academy didnt exist in the new timeline, does that mean Claire was never born! That is so sad for Alison. This is way longer than I meant it to be. I have so many feelings about the season! It was so good!

#the umberella academy #the umbrella academy season 2 #tua season 2 #the umbrella academy spoilers #tua spoilera #tua #mine

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valkerymillenia · 4 years

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Umbrella Academy

season 2, episode 5

As usual I'm going to put all my reactions and live-blogging in this one post to avoid spamming.

1962, Cape Canaveral

So Pogo is from Congo?

Wait, is that Grace? is Grace some sort of biologist or scientist?

Is Pogo supposed to be one of the chimps for the space program?

I love this song. Oh look, there's Reggie!

Oh, that nod between Reggie and Grace... What are they up to?

Yep, definitely the space program.

Little astronaut Pogo... Wait, what's happening?

Who's the shady guy in the sunglasses behind Reggie?

Aww, poor Pogo...

SO THAT'S WHERE THE SERUM USED ON LUTHER CAME FROM! I figured but it's still interesting to see the origin.

Oh, there's the ancient Greek! Did Reggie read to the kids like this too? I doubt it but one can hope.

So Reggie and Grace basically treated Pogo like their child... And Reggie was actually a decent parent... ? Dude, you couldn't do that for your actual kids?!

Wait, does this make Pogo the seven's big brother? 😆

And there's the Magnificent 12. Oh, Pogo's drawing is so cute.

Five really is onto Lila... and he's right!

Diego onto Lila as well!

Hungover Klaus 😅 and Ben asking what we all want to know but it comes from a place of love and concern. Still sassy though.

Why won't Klaus just tell Allison that he is talking to Ben? Also, cowboy? Is that a comic reference? Or just a Texas reference?

Oh, I love Ben and Klaus banter. XD

Klaus does have a point, Allison.

*Allison throws the flask away* Ben: "attagirl!" Allison: "i have a blender and some much better booze" *cue Ben sulking*

"I love you so much!" Awwww, Klaus-Allison bonding! ❤️❤️❤️ this show is really giving me everything I want, huh?

Sissy and Vanya in bed together 👀😏 that's hot.

So she brought her coffee and then took the coffee away? XD

Is Vanya offering to take Sissy to the future? 👀

Oh no, Carl!

They have a point, Five. Everything starts taking apart at soon as you arrive. Repeatedly. I actually pointed this out yesterday.

You're burning the eggs, Luther.

"That boy stinks" poor Luther 🤣

Where exactly was Luther going? Chicago? Detroit?

Wait, is that the academy pre-academy? Wait, so it's not in Texas??? Then what about Argyle? What the hell? I'm so confused now. 😵

Luther, you need a bath.

Reggie in a party xD that must be an odd sight for Luther.

"The world's never going to end in such a cliché. Believe me. I know how endings feel" -what does it mean???? Does it mean he knows how the world ends? Or does it mean politically as a member of the 12? Is it a double entendre? Foreshadowing? Does he have some sort of prescient power?

Still want to know who the shady guy in the shades is.

"No, you're not" "no, you're not" "no, i didn't" 🤣🤣🤣🤣

"I have a deep dislike of children" -yeah, we been knew. 😒😒😒

"your grotesque simian proportions"??? Those are entirely your fault, Reginald! 😠

"But...i took a bus" - oh, honey... Luther, you adorable, naive, sweet, innocent, awkward little dork... Let me hug you, i don't care if you stink! 😢

Man, Reginald is still such an asshole. (I'm glad for that though, I was afraid this season would try to play the 'he wasn't really so bad, just misunderstood' card and that would piss me off, you can show him actually caring for the children but no excusing goddamn child abusers in this house!)

"At least he didn't shank my ass" "no, bro, he shanked your heart" -awww, dudebro affection. Diego does have a sensitive side!

I didn't realize i needed Luther-Diego bonding this badly but i do. I really, really, really do.

"It's time to get the umbrella academy back together." "hell yeah, family meeting." -since when is Diego so happy to get the family together? 😆

But hell yeah, let's get the family back together!!!

"you two still a thing? Do we need to talk?" (Diego's face though 🤣) "no, she's married." "Whoa, dude. That's rough."

Diego is the new Zuko, it all lines up!

"I can handle it" he nervous chuckles while stress eating in a stolen robe, after ruining his own life and getting in trouble with the mob and getting high.

"can you get Vanya without, uh, squeezing her to death?" - ouch 🤣

I'm loving the boys bonding.

Yikes, Sissy looks so uncomfortable with Carl...

"Harlan doesn't care" -oh, he does, he reeeeally does, you just can't read the signs, you clueless dumbass.

Oh, the powers... Oh, Harlan initiating touch with Vanya! Boy is more perceptive than they think.

Why does Sissy look so scared?

Sissy's reactions to Carl have been suspicious from the start. She's given a lot of red flags (the anxiety, the body language, the hoarding money in secret, the reluctance to speak up, the desperation to keep Vanya near her at all times, etc) and I've wondered if he's been abusive but he seems more pathetic than purposely malicious, he even showed vulnerability and admited to loving her and fearing that she doesn't feel the same, so I was starting to think Sissy's fear and paranoia had more to do with a fear of Carl leaving her (and thus taking away the only income and leaving her and Harlan with nothing).

However, I'm rethinking things and I'm starting to suspect abuse again (at least psychological, if not physical)... I think the only reason we don't see it yet is because Vanya is there and Carl won't act out on front of a witness.

I could totally be wrong though, I could be seeing signs that aren't there because of my own issues. We'll see.

Is... Is Handler actually a good mother?

Nevermind, she's gaslighting.

But she cares enough to give first aid and admit she lied so... Definitely a better parent than Reginald at least. I actually want her to be a decent parent, I'm tired of the narrative where villains all have to be abusive parents, villains can love too and that makes the story so much more complex and dramatic when people finally have to choose sides.

Felt, Diego's knife... what is she up to?

Sandpaper, steel wool, round metal parts, skewers, spray lubricant, and something cylindrical with the name of a plumbing service? Is she making pneumatic canisters? The ones the Commission uses to send messages?

Also, what's with Commission training and using plumber stuff? Five also used a plumbing company's van in season 1.

Elliot really likes Jell-O, huh? Very 50s housewife of him.

"how are feeling?" "Pretty shitty, to be honest" "Where would you say you are on a scale from one to ending all life on this planet?" 🤣🤣🤣 They are never going to let her live this down, are they?

I need more Vanya-Diego bonding. ❤️

Diego accepted Vanya's apology???😲 AWWWWWWWW 🥰🥰🥰🥰

Diego about to ask girl advice from his sister? So cute, why did they interrupt, I wanted to see that! 🥰

I miss Diego's nervous stutter though.

"you don't speak French" -doesn't he? If Allison can read seven languages, logically so can all the others, right? And Klaus is constantly using French and German, how are you telling me he doesn't know French? 😆

"did we all get sexier?" -pretty much and you're not done yet.

Aww, awkward Vanya-Allison hug... Let them bond! 💖💖💖

Klaus and Diego hugging!!! And Diego calling him out on being drunk like the overprotective brother he is 💖💖💖

Klaus hugging the girls! 💖💖💖

So much love. So much growth since all the bitterness from season 1. I NEED MORE OF THIS, DAMN IT!

Who knew it took Vanya snapping and killing everyone for this family to finally bond?

OH COME ON, KLAUS! Just tell them poor Ben is there, that's so mean.

Ah! Allison and Diego with pure sibling banter. 💖

What is with the Handler family and red shoes?

Handler's style changed a bit, went from retro femme fatale on s1 to matronly debutante in s2... Interesting.

Don't hurt the kitty, you bitch! 😡

The Swedes have become crazy cat people. I'm starting to love these weirdos.

Is that their mama?

Pneumatic tube! CALLED IT!

Ah, I see. That's why she wanted Diego's knife. The Swedes are getting set up.

"oh my God, again?" ... "all of you knew? Why am I always the last one to find out about the end of the-- oh, my God. My cult is gonna be so pissed. Five, I told them we had until 2019!" -that's why you're the last one, Klaus, your priorities.

"is it Vanya?" "Klaus!" "What? It's usually Vanya." - one time. you end the world ONE TIME and nobody ever let's you live it down.

"find dad" "kill dad" -well, Diego learned from Five *shrugs*

"has anyone here done anything to screw up the timeline?" -literally everyone except you, Vanya.

( well, unless saving Harlan with your magic lights messed up the timeline...)

Yup, here they go calling each other out. Hilarious 🤣🤣🤣

"THANK you" - I love Ben 💙

Diego, you idiot, saving Kennedy is what wrecks everything! Stop being stubborn.

Aww, traumatized Five... Please just listen to him, he just wants to save you all because he loves you 😢

Five deserves more love from the family. PLEASE.

Wow, Luther is reeeeally bitter about daddy, huh? What is Lila doing?

"I've missed you all... So much" BEN! 😭😭😭😭😭

Ok, now I'm crying.

Klaus, let your brother talk to the rest of the damn family, he misses them! 😭😭😭😭

Yay, more Luther-Diego bonding!

"since the last time I destroyed the world by overestimating my own importance" -I'm so glad he owns up to this, it's very important but he needs to get over his self-hate and gain some confidence again.

Diego, stop acting like you don't have daddy issues, you are riddled with them.

Diego's hero complex again... Which comes from the daddy issues. Luther is right.

"you are so goddamn big that sometimes I forget what a sensitive bastard you are." 🤣🤣🤣 He's absolutely right!

Brotherly bonding ftw!

Oh, they got daddy's attention!

AHAHAH! Allison bitching and rambling while doing Klaus's hair, Vanya miming shooting the bottles ("pew pew" 🤣). I'm sorry but this whole scene is adorable as fuck.

Girl's day!

"wouldn't it be weird if Five grew up all hot?" 🤣🤣🤣 Klaus asking the real important questions here!

Vanya confused by the Luther/Allison crush 🤣 "aren't we all related?"' -yes, honey, that's why it's weird.

"if you have to use the word 'technically' you're already in trouble" -THANK YOU, KLAUS!

Klaus's ENTIRE speech about their love lives is the most perfect thing EVER 🤣🤣🤣👌👌👌💯💯💯

Really alarmed Vanya finding out she dated a serial killer: "what?!" / Allison, whispering casually: "Later." 🤣

"the healthiest long-term relationship in this family was when Five was banging that mannequin." 😂😂😂😂😂 The best part is- HE'S NOT WRONG

Vanya's weirded out face is priceless 👌👌👌

"the only thing the umbrella academy knows about love is how to screw it up" "cheers!" 💯👏👏👏

These babies really need a hug. Let me hug them!

"how do you guys deal with this?" -look at them Vanya, they day drink.

"well, I get reeeeally high, Allison... Allison... Lies to herself. And you supress all your emotions deep, deep down until you... Blow shit up." -Klaus really is serving up all the wisdom in this little outing, isn't he? Maybe being a cult leader actually did him some good? Or maybe it's just that his family is FINALLY listening to him.

"yeah, I'd really like to not do that anymore" 😂 -ah! Is Vanya graduating out of the awkward dork sibling category and into the sassy queen one?

Omg, the drunk decisions...

"I just hate group backups, that's why I stopped dating twins" 😆😆😆😆

"this family is amazing" - DAMN RIGHT, VANYA! ❤️🧡💛💚💚💙💜

Awww, the HUG! The DANCING! MY BABIES! Fav scene, fav scene!

I want to adopt this family so bad.

And here's the Swedes being set up...

There goes baby Swede! I kinda feel bad for them.

Uh oh, now they want revenge of poor Diego.

Gotta hand it to Handler, she played this one very well. Parallels Five tricking Hazel and Cha-Cha into fighting each other in season 1. Very cool.

BAD GUY! I like this version better than the original, great song and fits Lila perfectly.

Holy shit!!!!!!!!! We all knew Five had moves but THESE MOVES!!!!!! 😲

How did Lila do that? Is it with Handler's time stopping thing? I always wondered how she did that too.

Holy shiiiiiiiiit. This whole fight was FANTASTIC! 😲

Oh Vanya... 😢

Oh Sissy... 😩

Sissy has been so desperate to keep Vanya tied to her but the moment Vanya asks her to make the slightest sacrifice for their relationship Sissy balks and pulls away... Not a balanced relationship at all.

I understand Sissy's fear, it's not selfishness, it's literal fear of change, but it's still sad and it's going to wreck them.

Oh, so this is where the swedish cover of "Hello" comes in... Very fitting.

Viking funeral, huh?

Ok, I never thought I'd have feels for the Swedes but I do. 😢

Luther eating AGAIN. But hey, he and Diego didn't the whole day together! Why can't we see that too? I need more brother time between these two.

Oh Klaus, is so uncomfortable but he can't stand disappointing the cultists, can he?

Still shocks me how all those people just invaded his house while he was away and thought that was perfectly acceptable and cool, it shows they really don't respect him as a person, he's just an object to make them feel better and give them purpose... It's terrifying and really sad when you think about it.

"sit your ass down." -you go, Allison! Tell him everything!

This episode gave me SO MANY FEELINGS! It might read like (extremely good) fanfiction but it's exactly what we all needed and it might be my favorite episode so far.

#tua #tua s2 #tua s2 spoilers #I HAVE TOO MANY FEELINGS FOR THIS EPISODE!!!

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angelicamerlinbarnes · 3 years

Text

TUA DANCE SCHOOL AU

(but also like there's murder in here because it's still Umbrella Academy so...)

(BEWARE: mentions of abuse and harassment, murder, kidnapping, etc.)

(If you can handle watching Umbrella Academy, this will be fine for you.)

(Ballet, Hip-Hop) Diego came to this school for Eudora, and he’s staying here for Eudora. She’s his beloved adopted sister, and the one who told him he should pursue his passions in hip-hop… and ballet, but Diego’s not interested in telling anyone that bit yet. He’s only gonna be here a year anyway, just long enough for Eudora to win her way onto the women’s US national soccer team and earn enough money for the both of them to live worry-free for the rest of their lives. He’s not planning on making friends… until one of the dancers in his ballet class trips into his chest and Diego starts questioning whether love at first sight is a thing.

(Ballet) Klaus is top of his class in ballet, which is the only reason they haven’t kicked him out yet. He’s addicted to some hard shit; he’s sold himself for money; he’s living with his abusive boyfriend who he hasn’t loved in three years because if he wasn’t he’d be homeless. He knows he’d be fine if he just told Five what was happening to him, because Five is a thirteen-year-old runaway genius living in a studio apartment big enough for three, but Klaus doesn’t know how to bring it up. He knows he’s a mess - he’s got serious PTSD, anxiety, and depression from his few months in the army where his boyfriend he actually loved was killed in front of him, and he’s got anorexia because he’s a ballerina so of course he does, and he’s probably suicidal if he thinks about it too hard. But he just doesn’t want to deal with it. At all. But then there’s Diego. Sweet, innocent, hero-like Diego. And Klaus loves him. Klaus doesn’t love anything, but, fuck - Klaus loves Diego.

(Ballet, Break Dance, Hip-Hop, Tango) Five is a killer. You can laugh, it’s okay - everybody does when he says that, as if it’s a joke. Five’s alright with that. He has more to lose from them finding out about his habits than he does from actually doing it. It’s not like he can get caught - he’s killed detectives and cops too, and he’s very good at covering his tracks. Next on his list is Klaus’ boyfriend, who’s a piece of shit. He’ll bring Klaus home with him, and keep him safe. Five may not be loyal to many, but those he is will die of nothing but natural causes. He has access to things you can only dream of. All of his dance classes double for training; dance is a good segway to fighting techniques. The only trouble is Diego, who Five loves, who Klaus loves, who is well and true and good… who looks far too much like that vigilante who travels around after hours saving Five’s victims before they’re done bleeding out.

(Flamenco, Hula, Hip-Hop) Allison is undercover, and ready to be done with this shit. She knows Five’s guilty, and knows he knows she knows he’s guilty, and knows that if he wanted her dead she would be by now. She’s worried about his intentions towards Diego, but Five seems to have instead set his sights on Klaus’ boyfriend, who Allison can’t honestly say she’ll be sad to see go. So Allison won’t be bringing Five in - at least not yet. Instead, she focuses her efforts on her dance classes, hanging out mostly with her best friends Klaus and Ray, the latter of whom she has a crush on. And she’d make a move, too, if it weren’t for that stupidly hot and kind himbo she keeps passing in the hallways and cursing at.

(Jock, Break Dance) Luther doesn’t fit in here. Everyone here is so fucking talented, and Luther just… isn’t. Break dancing is just a hobby to him, but dance seems like life or death to everybody else. He’s starting to think maybe he should just quit, but then he sees Allison in the hallways, and thinks maybe all the ridicule is worth it. Though his petty fights with that Diego kid are getting annoying… and there’s something unexplainably sinister about this school. Almost like it’s… he doesn’t know. Sometimes it’s almost like it’s not a school at all.

(Choreographer, Contemporary) Ben is one of the school’s choreographers, though he’s still a student. He knows everything about everyone, and uses that power carefully. This school is going to fucking hell, what with all the criminals scheming under its roof, but none of them are Ben’s first concern, loathe as he is to admit it. No no, Ben is worried about Klaus. His best friend, Klaus. His beloved brother Klaus. His abused, sick, sad, scared, suicidal brother. God. Here’s the thing - Ben will do anything to save Klaus. Anything. Even, he knows with some sort of horrible inevitable certainty, die.

(Violinist) Vanya plays violin for the dance students to perform to. Her teacher Leonard is harassing her and she’s probably gonna end up his invisible victim one of these days, since nobody seems to care about her here. Except for Sissy, the student volunteer secretary who’s attending a normal college across the way. She and Vanya are in love, and they’ve moved in together and Sissy proposed to Vanya last week and Vanya thinks they’re maybe gonna be happy together forever. And then Five, Vanya’s only sort-of friend, climbs through her window at two in the morning covered in blood, passing out with only the words, Sorry. It’s not mine. Vanya screams, and it’s all downhill from there.

(Tango, Waltz, Ballroom) Ray is undercover with Allison, but she seems uninterested in bringing Five to justice. Not that Ray minds - she’s a pretty good judge of character, and Ray trusts her with his life, even if she seems to be hellbent on letting a serial killer go free. Ray’s also found an oddly fulfilling friendship with Klaus, and vows to make sure he gets his happy ending with Diego. But then he finds Ben’s bloody and beaten body in the second floor bathroom after class one day and thinks, Oh. Shit.

(Ballet, Break Dance, Tango) Lila is in the know. The Handler wants someone to combat Five, who went rogue on her a year ago and only sticks around this stupid school to keep an eye on Klaus. Lila, meanwhile, is looking for a way out - Five’s not an option. He’s too sticky. But Eudora, that soccer star at the school across the street, her best friend Diego’s sister… Eudora’s a way out. (And she’s really fucking pretty too, but that’s unrelated.)

(Jock, Hip-Hop) Eudora has this weird feeling about the school she sent Diego too. If she’s being honest, she sent him there because she knows about his vigilante-ism and thought it’d give him something else to do. But when Eudora comes to visit him (and yes, maybe Lila with the eyeliner and pretty skin), she instead finds her brother’s crush tied up in the basement and screaming. And then there’s a gunshot. And then there’s nothing.

(Ballet I Guess) Dolores is the statue formally known as the “Little Dancer of Fourteen Years”. She’s at the museum right near the dance school, and Five visits her nearly every day, talking to her about any and everything. Sometimes Klaus comes with him, or Diego. Five doesn’t know why she’s important - she just is.

(Orchestra & Flamenco Teacher) Leonard is the creepy and perverted orchestra and flamenco teacher. Allison hates him on sight, but loves dancing, and can’t leave. Vanya doesn’t trust him, and he seems hellbent on treating her inappropriately, and Allison wants to fucking throttle him. But she’s sure Five will take care of it. He’s good like that.

(Ballroom Teacher) Hazel teaches ballroom dancing, and has been married to Agnes for almost twenty years now. His best friend and partner is Cha-Cha, and they both secretly work for the Handler, having been given their orders to dismantle Five. They know they’ll have to make him come to them, so they take Five’s favorite person: Klaus. It’s really such a shame that Ben boy found out what was going on and confronted them - he was far too polite to die.

(Break Dance & Hip-Hop Teacher) Cha-Cha probably wants to leave the Umbrella Academy, if she’s really honest with herself. She wants to… I don’t know, buy a boat and fuck off forever. Leave all this stupid shit behind. But now she’s got Ben’s blood on her hands and she can’t undo that, she can’t, and there’s - there’s Eudora, sweet, brave, innocent Eudora, bleeding out on the basement floor while Klaus screams. And Cha-Cha knows Diego - she’s just dug her own grave twice over.

(Ballet & Hula Teacher) Agnes is, on the contrary to most people’s expectations, not an oblivious idiot. She knows exactly what’s going on in her school. She also knows her students can handle themselves.

(First Dean, Tango Teacher) The Handler thinks she’s got all her secrets well under wraps. No one knows how many bodies she’s buried, how many students she’s killed… she’s safe from everyone but Five, the little bitch. And she thinks this up until the moment Klaus walks through her office door with a gun in his hand and the smiling ghost of Ben beside him, and realizes, Oh shit.

(Second Dean, Waltz Teacher) Reginald gives no fucks. He’s only teaching here because Pogo says it would be good for him. Granted Reginald thinks Pogo is a bit of an annoying wussy, but nonetheless he’s here. Teaching “secret” assassins how to dance. What a fucking joke.

(Counselor) Grace is everybody’s favorite person. When the school finally falls, she’s the one they all go home to. She only wishes they could learn how to dance without weapons beneath their skirts.

This turned out way darker than I intended and I am not sorry.

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valkerymillenia · 4 years

Text

Umbrella Academy

season 2, episode 7

More thoughts and live blogged reactions.

1982. I'm assuming Five used a briefcase... But in s1 we saw that the briefcase travels are tracked (Hazel and Cha-Cha got reprimanded for Klaus's Vietnam trip) so I'm not sure how the board doesn't know someone is coming... I might be overthinking.

Five being creepy.

Is that a Fudge Nutter like Handler mentioned in season 1? Oh, it is.

Jesus, Five! Anger management for you, old man.

AAHH! THEY LET FIVE SAY FUCK! Fucking finally! 🤣

How did nobody notice that destruction? 😆

Oh, the axe! Is Five going to go all American psycho? Because I'd love to see that.

HOLY SHIT!

That smile!

HOLY SHIT!!!!!!

Is he using tiny time travel bursts like Reggie said? Or a briefcase? Or is he just that fast?

AJ hiding under the table 😆

Pausing to drink water and grin, what a psycho, I love him.

He's definitely using time jumps but they are so controlled that I'm guessing briefcase or Handler little time stopping trick. I'm so proud of my mass murder baby.

... Vending machine? Lady, you have interesting priorities.

CRICKET BAT!

Wait! AJ's human body feels pain? How?

Please make Five swallow the fish like in the comics! Please, please, please, please.

The dancers are just like

I LOVE FIVE! The lengths this little killer will go for his family are unbelievable, nobody should ever doubt his love and devotion for them ever again.

This whole murder scene was incredible and Five's obvious glee made it even better. FEAR HIM!

Jesus, Klaus is so afraid of being possessed that he's afraid to sleep and Ben just mocks him? 😘💋 I get that this is supposed to be a funny 'brothers messing with each other' kind of thing but Klaus feels so unsafe that it makes me uncomfortable. What happened to you, Ben, when did you become so dark? You were the nice one!

Ben just getting closer and closer every time Klaus closes his eyes just gave me Doctor Who flashbacks.

"I hate your face" "I hate all of you" - Don't say that boys! You know you love each other.

Ok, Ben has a point. I'm actually liking this conversation. And I'm liking that Klaus is starting to understand his brother.

Ok, this is such a brother conversation. And Klaus constantly pretending not to know who Jill is 😆

Ground rules... Well, at least it's consensual now. That's something. See? Communication works.

Damn, the tension at the lunch table cut be cut with a knife. I'm scared what Carl is going to do.

Ray and Allison have a lovely relationship but I finally identified the problem, the tension I was feeling between since them a few eps back. It's not about Allison's secrets at all, is about Ray being so obsessed with his crusade that he completely overlooks Allison's feelings, he only pays attention to her when they are on the page about the mission. He sees her powers and his first thought is 'we could use this for the cause', Allison is clearly distressed and sad and even says she doesn't feel well and all he can think about is the damn JFK meeting. He's not a bad person and he's not doing it on purpose but he has a workaholic one-track mind that could easy turn into neglect for Allison. He clearly loves her and I'm rooting for them so much but I know that if asked to choose between Allison and his cause, he'll pick his cause.

So Five is done with the killing. I figured this might weigh on his conscience, it's one thing to kill for a greater good or survival, coldly and detached, it's another thing to slaughter for selfish reasons (even if his selfish reasons are a greater good).

Handler going all mom on him and wiping his face. 😆

"What I did today, I did for my family" -we know, baby, and they better respect you for it. You love then so much.

90 minutes??? Wtf, I knew Handler would try to screw Five over but that's just cruel, she's forcing him to uproot the family without even giving them time to say goodbye and that's even IF he can get to all of them on time.

It's not a name, you idiots. Also, that's Olga, not öga.

Don't harass the poor woman... Oh God, you guys are such morons... Diego, you dramatic little bitch...

"Wrong number. Have a lovely day" 🤣🤣🤣

I love the new dumbass buddy cop dynamic between Diego and Luther. This is the sort of positive brotherly dynamic they always should have had instead of being pitted against each other all their lives.

"you have some blood on you" "a lot of blood, actually. Five, what did you do?" -the casual, mildly annoyed way they ask is hilarious, if they knew what he did they'd be horrified (and possibly impressed).

Handler's militaristic chic dress is fabulous. I personally don't like it very much (or the message it sends) but it's haute couture and incredibly designed. Also, the bleached hair is back!

"any questions?" And then she leaves without listening. Power move 😏

Luther trying to comfort Diego like the dork he is. 🤣

Really though, I feel bad for Diego, and Five is under so much pressure that I don't blame him for snapping.

"I'm shy" -are you, Klaus? Are you really? You keep walking around in underwear in front of dozens of people, you're not shy.

So is Klaus lactose intolerant?

Ok, so far the possession thing is not as bad as some people were claiming. So far.

"stay focused" *giggle* -oh Ben, you dork 😆

Ahah, Ben enjoying all the different sensory stimuli. Adorable. He's just so happy, poor boy.

Dirt angels. SO CUTE ❤️

I know this all supposed to be cute and all but it would also be a perfect moment for Ben for experience Klaus's powers (the constant hauntings) as well as his addiction and the claustrophobic expectations of the cult. It would be an excellent chance to make Ben understand why Klaus is the way he is, seeing as Klaus is making a huge effort (and sacrifice) to do the same for Ben. Unfortunately, I don't see that happening because I think they want to keep this part about Ben.

By end of season 1 Klaus cried that people still didn't take him seriously, his compassion despite all his suffering made him likeable and deep, but this season he's back to being the family joke, I don't like that there's no resolution to that. But let's see where this goes, I'm getting ahead of myself.

Oh God, Carl's talk is freaking me out.

"who I am is not a disease" -very powerful LGBT+ statement considering it's the 60s!!!!

Oh, the blackmail...

Everybody keeps expecting Vanya to explode every time she gets emotional but this scene proves how much control she truly has. Respect!

Oh, finally Claire is mentioned! I've been rather upset that Allison hasn't mentioned her daughter even once this season (does Ray even know he has a stepdaughter?) seeing as most of her arc in season 1 revolved around her love and guilt over Claire.

Luther is right when he says they don't get live formal lives because they are special but Allison is even more right when she says that's not fair. This is why this family needs to stick together and love each other, they are the only ones that can really understand each other's struggles.

"hope" -Luther, you really are such a sweet summer child.

OH! I CAN FINALLY SEE ALLISON'S SCAR! The lighting in this scene makes it really obvious. Finally.

Ben and the strawberry. 🤣

"you're different today. You're dorkier" ah! First time anyone called Ben 'Sassy' Hargreeves dorky.

Oh Ben, you're adorable... Wait, "smell your hair"? What the fuck, Ben? You weirdo.

Holy crap! Jill is really forward, isn't she? Hippies, man.

Ben stuttering! 😆🤣 He died a virgin, didn't he?

It's funny but please tell me he isn't actually considering that in his brother's body...

Wait, did Klaus slap him because he doesn't want to have sex or because he's trying to stop Ben from ruining his own chance by saying too much?

Actually, I'm almost sure it's the second one, Klaus is playing wingman on his own body!

WHAT????

Ok so Ben IS a virgin but "you, me and Keechie"? What the fuck, Klaus? You slept with the fanatical crybaby and your brother's crush????

"Klaus, you're so filthy!" "Yes, you are, daddy." -Ben, this girl is not right for you. Run, boy!

AHAHAHAH ASDFGDDGGHSGSGASFHDBKDIS 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 DIEGO CALLING HIM DADDY!

Wait, AJ can speak without the body/suit/whatever?

Handler is going a little bit fascist dictator, isn't she?

Gotta admit, Handler really is such a mom in her own twisted way.

Ben giggling when he talks to Diego. Cute.

"Luther sniffs Dad's underwear" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

AWWWWWWWW, BEN AND DIEGO! THE CHILDHOOD HIJINKS! THE HUG!

GOD, THE HUG! ❤️

I need all the siblings hugging Ben now!

"you stay in this body, we need someone responsible behind the wheel" -Diego, I understand what you mean given the situation, but you playing obvious favorites between your brothers when free will and body autonomy are on the line is a little creepy.

"no one is insignificant" -that line is so loaded when used on Vanya.

Oh no, Vanya and Five playing the blame game is so bad... They used to be so close... They are both under so much pressure, this won't end well.

Oh boy, Five looks like he's on the verge of crying and Vanya sees that! I bet that's why she backed down. 😲😢

The Lila and Diego conversation is heartbreaking without even trying...

Is that Elliot? Is Diego burying Elliot because nobody else will? Diego really does have a heart of gold.

Don't drinkit! I'm pretty sure Lila is drugging you.

Yup, there it is.

What is she planning?

Once again, it's all about the movement with Ray.

"I would take my one year with you over a lifetime with anybody else." 😭 Oh Ray ❤️

But I get the feeling this won't end so easily.

There it is, the Swedes just arrived. And the smart assholes went right for Allison's throat.

You don't need the coffee can, Sissy. The Hargreeves are loaded.

Sissy, hurry up.

BEN, YOU ARE SUCH A 90s KID!!! So the Backstreet Boys are Ben's fault, God, I love this dork 🤣

Come on, Allison, you can fight better than this!

Good girl!

Klaus and Ben running and fighting each other at the same time 😆

Holy shit, that is some Exorcist level vomiting!

Poor Klaus, I totally get Ben's side in this (pretty sure he was trying to save Klaus by getting him to Five ASAP) but this whole thing made me mildly uncomfortable. Klaus just keeps sacrificing for everyone and nobody respects his boundaries.

Holy shit, Allison! That is so cruel! I like it though, so ruthless and vicious. 😈

Problem- Allison can't just leave Ray with a white corpse in the house. Especially not in Texas, death penalty and all.

Oh Sissy, you dumbass. You're a sweetheart but also a dumbass.

Ok, Lila is pretty insane. That's for sure.

Five:

"I don't want to hurt you" - well, Vanya warned them.

My baby is getting really good with her powers.

I hope that hit to the head doesn't give Vanya her memory back, that's so cliché and convenient, or would be really bad writing.

SHIT IS HITTING THE FAN. I'm dying to see more!!!!!!

#tua #tua s2 #tua s2 spoilers

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valkerymillenia · 4 years

Text

Umbrella Academy

season 2, episode 4

New episode, new post!

This was the other post I had written out that got accidently deleted so I'm writing it all again.

1993? And Lila was 4? TOO MUCH COINCIDENCE! I still stand by my theory that Lila is one of the 43.

Yes, she has a father but that could just be her mother's husband. It's just too coincidental that the show would make her exactly the same age as the Hargreeves for no reason.

Ah the red heels. Hi Handler. These heels are really pretty though, very wicked witch with the ruby slippers. Even that outfit kind of screams wicked witch meets Cruella de Vil 😏

Kill parents, adopt child. Interesting MO, Handler. Like an evil Bruce Wayne (does this make Handler Owlman? I know, I'm not funny).

Oh, Handler pulling a Reginald with Lila!

Except, you know, she actually gives Lila positive reinforcement and affection, unlike Reggie. But her training seems just as brutal and inhumane for a child (and possibly even more violent) as Reginald's...

It's curious and interesting, a nice foil. Handler succeeds where Reggie fails- creating a loyal and effective soldier will into adulthood- because she was willing to give the kid affection and compassion. Reggie saw himself as some sort of hero creating heros but he failed at the most basic and human thing that even the villain understood.

-The filmography in these training scenes is brilliant.

-Ah, that prom look is the same as half of my classmates when we graduated 🤣 down to the blue makeup.

I'm guessing Lila's "prom"/"graduation" was her first solo assassination?

Wait, Handler wants to protect Five...? What the hell is she up to now?

Talking about killing people like it's a fun hobby 🤨

Oh, so the Swedes are triplets? I suspected but I like the confirmation.

Oh, Handler is lying ~~~~ 🎶

She's definitely following her own agenda here and she's leading Lila into danger. The question is if she's going to undermine the Commission for revenge of if she wants to prove her ability to get promoted back into administrative ranks of the Commission.

Either way, this will not end well for Five.

Lila is going to end up having to choose between Diego and Handler, isn't she?

Five stays in the car to give Luther space... No matter what Five says he actually cares about his siblings' feelings, doesn't he? He's the most overprotective of them all and always has been. It's sweet.

Ah, Luther and Vanya bonding over Five being an asshole. ☺️

"very warm and cuddly father" 🤣

Of course Vanya figured out Five was sparing her feelings, because she's not dumb

Oh, thank you for the honesty, Luther! Gotta love that.

I'm actually really happy to see Luther owning up to his mistakes instead of trying to act like the flawless leader. I think he grew a lot after accepting that Reginald wasnt perfect and I'm glad to see that growth still happening as he learns how to be an independent person. I just hope his guilt doesn't turn into even more self-hatred.

"you had kind of a bad childhood" -understatement of the century, Luther!

Luther, you have pissed off the mobster, you moron. You're on big trouble now.

Dramatic wall punch! 🙄

"when you get angry shit blows up" 😂😂😂

"you're our sister and a member of the umbrella academy" - oh, now you want to include her? The irony of this is that it's the one thing Vanya wanted for the first 29 years of her life and if anyone had said it then, the apocalypse would probably have never happened.

🖕🙊🖕

"I wonder if it's too late to be un-adopted" -ah, you know you love them, Five

Honestly, Allison actually keeps her cool really well, if I went through that phone call I would have broken something.

Why the hell does Klaus want menudo first thing in the morning?? Ew...

Klaus butchering "the frog and the scorpion"... You were doing so well but ended up completely missing the point of that story, dummy.

Diego's stab wound is healing really quickly...

Wait, he's healing quickly and Allison doesn't have a neck scar... Plus Klaus is immortal... Hmm, I wonder if quick healing is an ability they all share? Though that would put Diego's scars (and maybe Ben's death) into perspective...

Does Diego wax his chest? Those pecs are real smooth for someone who spent over two months in a 60s mental institution. 😆

"we've all had the urge" 😂 and Diego's sarcastic laugh 🤣

Who's the 12th of the Magestic 12? Oh, I WONDER WHO THAT COULD BE??? Maybe a certain monocled asshole?

"Mamie pink" is Klaus's new nickname, I don't make the rules.

Klaus, you are freaking the boy out with all this new information...

Oh no, the homophobia 😡😡😡

You know what's more heartbreaking about this homophobic disaster? Dave is likely in the closet and this whole situation here and the hate his uncle is showing must be so painful to him, it would probably bury him even deeper in the closet...

Klaus... The punch... Oh, baby... 😢 Oh no, I'm going to cry 😭😭😭

Is Raymond really implying that Allison is a spy? Damn...

Just tell him the truth, Allison! How do you marry a person without telling them something so big about yourself??

Oh, so Klaus has been sober for 3 years... Interesting.

No, Klaus! Don't start self-destructing again! 😢😢😢

It must be so painful for Ben to watch this and not be able to stop it...

Oh shoot, the cult found him.

"prophet"? "holy wanderer"? Interesting.

Poor Klaus just wants peace.

They seriously couldn't get a suit for Five too? Is he not allowed to wear anything else?

Five is onto Lila 🎶

Luther, are you stress eating? Well, at least you're not going on a bender again.

Awww, Luther- Allison reunion. Cute. Please don't make it weird.

Oh God, the awkward small talk is back 😩

I'm glad Luther is being so mature about this. I like this dynamic better.

"Vanya is on a farm. And happy" and Allison finds the happy part weird. Diego in the "nuthouse" and Allison doesn't find that weird at all, even does that 'yeah, ok makes sense' face. Klaus "cult leader" and Luther isn't surprised at all, that little "eh" was so funny.

Lord, this family is mess.

"Doomsday" *awkward chuckle* -you guys are getting way too used to this.

"Diego, try not to do anything too stupid" 😆 ah, brothers.

Lila in red heels, like mommy... 😏

Reggie taught them ballroom dancing? And Handler had the same idea?

Um.... Ok, so new theories! Do Handler and Reginald know each other? Could Reginald have been in the Commission? I'm going to be thinking about this for a while...

Just let the girl lead, Diego. Stop being a little bitch.

GRACE?!

So mom!Grace is either a cyborg or she was modeled after this woman... Makes curious about Reggie's relationship with this lady.

Diego going through the universal horror every kid goes through when realizing that mommy and daddy are "together". 🤣🤣🤣 "I can't picture it on my head. That's nasty"

She didn't tell him her name was Grace but apparently it is.

Am I the only one getting weird desperate and co-dependant vibes from Sissy?

Oh no! Save the baby!

Holy shit! HOLY SHIT! Vanya's powers are incredible! The special effects in this scene are unbelievable!

Save the child!

How did his lips get blue so quickly?

THE RETURN OF THE MAGIC ALIEN LIGHTS! AAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Ok, I need to pause to gather my thoughts... Ok, things I hope don't happen-please don't magically "fix" the disabled boy, and please don't make the powers transferrable (that's just lazy writing, don't rehash "Misfits").

However, other than that I'm just very curious what those lights will do to Harlan. Will they just save his life? Will he gain powers? Will he have some weird connection to Vanya now? I'm dying to find out!

Anyway, back to the ep.

Baby boy is ok!

Luther, did you think pissing off the mobster would end well?

Elliot just starting up at Luther in awe and visibly fighting not to poke him. 😆

HELL NO, LUTHER! NO DRUGS! DON'T YOU REMEMBER THE LAST TIME?? YOU GOT YOUR BROTHER KILLED!

Oh, Sissy... Poor woman.

There going to kiss, aren't they?

Melancholic music kicking in. Sad emotional talk. Sitting way too close. Yeah, they're going to kiss.

Aaaaaand there's the kiss! ☺️

But now I need to pause and digress again...

Yeah, Sissy's feelings for Vanya are not healthy at all. In fact they mirror Vanya's feelings for Leonard- she's unhappy with her life and clinging to the first person that gives her attention. She wants help, she wants to be rescued, she's touch and attention starved. She's co-dependant and emotionally manipulative.

I'm not saying Sissy is a bad person, she's not, she's a sad person stuck in an unhappy marriage, terrified of being abandoned (almost paranoid) and exhausted under a lot of pressure dealing with a disabled child. And then in comes Vanya, who is perfect with Harlan, so loving and kind and has nothing else to pour all her attention towards. Of course Sissy sees salvation in Vanya and is desperate to keep her.

I'm not saying Vanya and Sissy can't have a beautiful healthy relationship, they can, but not like this. Sissy is clinging too tight and using Vanya to make herself feel better and make her life easier. They both deserve better than that and I hope they get it.

I'm starting to think that all relationships in this season might be doomed to fail:

-Sissy and Vanya have a co-dependant and emotionally unhealthy infatuation and Sissy is married to a man that, while not great, still clearly loves her;

-Raymond and Allison have too many secrets between them that are causing a major rift, they can fix it but there's also the chance that Ray might not be able to accept the truth about her;

-Lila is a double agent using Diego to get close to Five, she seems to be developing feelings but the fact that she's lying about who she is and working for Handler is obviously toxic;

-Klaus is pining over a person that Dave has not yet become and while he only wants to save Dave's life, it's obvious there's too big an experience and culture gap between them for a relationship to flourish;

-Luther and Allison have become one-sided and less innocent and puppy-love than before, now it really is just creepy and unhealthy (whereas before it was understandable because they grew up together under an emotionally unavailable father and isolated from the real world, naturally they became attached and confused their feelings, their attachment wasn't healthy but it was justified and almost innocent... Not anymore though);

-we have no concrete proof yet, but it seems Ben MIGHT be pining over a girl that might not even see him, he's dead, it might be an interesting dynamic storywise, but it's not going to happen, it's unhealthy and unfair;

Some of these couples might still survive and become great, it's still really in the season after all, but they have a lot of growing to do before they get there.

Anyway.... Back to the episode.

Oh Klaus... Off the wagon...

Allison being a good sister and taking care of her brother. My heart ❤️

Luther, you idiot... Well, at least you're getting high in a safe environment.

Luther and Klaus are self-destructing, my poor boys.

"you are super weird" - Luther, you have no zero right to call anyone weird, have you looked in the mirror??

"the woman I love loves someone else" -the woman you love is. your. SISTER!

I really like poor Elliot, I hope nothing bad happens to him.

Jesus, that's creepy, Luther.

Didn't I say Reginald was the 12th? 😏

Roswell? Reggie probably has a vested interest in that.

Blink out of there, Five.

I love that Five's main move is always 'teleport onto their backs and go for the throat'.

Wait, why did Five's teleportation glitch???

The music!!!!

Wait, did Diego's aim just glitch too???

Could these power glitches be connected to Vanya's magic lights going into Harlan? Or could it be something about the Swedes? Or about Reginald's presence, seeing as he dodged Diego's power before? Hmm...

Oooh, Lila has to choose between Diego and her mission already? Interesting... Of course she chooses to save Five.

Badass Lila is amazing!

So she could have helped Diego after helping Five but instead she just walks away? Huh, unexpected.

Diego, you adrenaline junkie. Good moves though.

The ancient Greek is a surprise! I really want to know what Five said to Reginald!!! What did he say? I need to know!!!

Another great chapter!! Very emotional too!

I want more!!!

#tua #tua s2 #tua s2 spoilers #reactions #live blogging #theories #spoilers

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