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wikiangela-fanfics · 1 year

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I can't love you any more (than I do now)

this is so domestic, fluffy and corny idek lmao

words: 2.6k

[read on Ao3]

You tell me I'm your favorite person Yeah, what we got is workin' And the years have only made 'em more that way

Eddie's pretty sure he and Buck are dating.

Well, maybe not in so many words.

They've never talked about it, hell, they never even kissed, or went on a date or anything like that.

But Eddie can’t help noticing how their relationship has surpassed platonic a long time ago. It’s confusing, sometimes, because he’s not even sure when something changed, but suddenly he finds himself in this weird stage, where Buck is present in every aspect of his life, being a partner and a co-parent, and, honestly, it feels like even more than just dating – Eddie’s marriage might not have been great, but he’s pretty sure what he and Buck have is what a marriage is supposed to look like. It’s scary and confusing, but at the same time, it makes sense, somehow. What they have, that's not platonic, friends don't act like… like they do. But the thing is, whatever they are, they work. It’s the best damn relationship Eddie’s ever been in, and it’s not even an official relationship. Yet.

The thing is, Eddie knows that he’s in love with Buck. It snuck up on him and came so naturally, he wasn’t even surprised when he finally realized that’s what he feels. He’s pretty sure Buck feels the same way – otherwise he surely wouldn’t act the way he does. So, he’s pretty confident their relationship is going in the romantic direction, even if they’re doing it kinda backwards, but he’s letting it play out for now, at its own pace, still testing the waters. He’s working on gathering his courage to do something about it, while he and Buck keep playing house together. Literally.

There are moments when it hits Eddie all over again how much of a family they are, and how domestic and how… how married they act, and he needs a second to not do something stupid, like actually drop down on one knee and propose. Well, maybe he should just do that.

One evening he comes home from work, since he filled in for someone on the B shift, to the amazing smells from the kitchen, that make his mouth water, and sounds of conversation from the room, as well.

“Hey, I’m home!” he calls out from the front door, kicking off his shoes, taking his jacket off, and dropping his duffel bag on the floor.

“We’re in here!” he hears Buck’s voice from the kitchen. When Eddie walks in, he sees Buck at the stove, cooking dinner, and Chris at the table with his homework.

“Hey.” he can’t help a huge smile, and tries very hard to resist walking up to Buck and wrapping his arms around him. Buck looks so cute, wearing one of Eddie’s sweatshirts, and an actual apron, and he’s cooking for them, like he does pretty often now. Eddie loves him so much. “What smells so good?”

“I’m making lasagna.” Buck grins. “Should be ready soon. Chris, next question, come on.”

“Homework?” Eddie asks, taking a seat next to his son. “What subject?”

“Math.” Chris gives him an exasperated look, and Eddie laughs.

“Oh, so Buck’s not really helping, is he?” he teases, looking at Buck in time to see him try to look annoyed, but failing.

“Come on, I’m not that bad.”

“Well… it’s no secret you suck at math, sorry.” Eddie shrugs, not able to take his eyes away from how Buck’s trying to hide a smile. This kind of teasing and making fun of each other has become a thing in their house- well, Eddie’s house, mostly because of their kid- Eddie’s kid, well, okay, their kid, who always starts it all. It’s always fun, even if Eddie is the object of the jokes more of than not.

“I’m better than you, and I’m in 6th grade.” Christopher says with a laugh, and Buck gasps dramatically. Chris leans in to Eddie to whisper: “I don’t actually need help, he’s insisting.”

“It’s the thought that counts.” Eddie chuckles, shooting Buck an amused look.

“You guys suck.” Buck breaks and finally laughs. Then, before anyone can say anything else, there’s a sound of beeping from somewhere in the house. “Oh, I think the laundry’s done.”

“I got it.” Eddie gets up to get the laundry out of the washing machine, not even wondering why Buck puts on a wash in a house he doesn’t live in. Because it has happened before, and it’s not like Buck’s clothes aren’t all mixed up with Eddie’s in his closet, either. That’s how domestic they’ve gotten. Eddie’s aware that it’s not really something even the bestest of friends do, but that’s how they work.

When he gets back to the kitchen, Chris’ books are gone, and dinner is on the table. They sit down to eat, and Buck asks him how was work, and they tell him about their day as well, and it’s just their usual night, and it’s perfect.

“Oh, I almost forgot.” Buck says at some point, when he glances at the calendar on the wall, filled with both of their handwritings, any events, appointments, shifts, Chris’ extracurriculars, all of that marked. Like a family, like all three of them live here. Maybe it should be this way. “There’s a parent-teacher conference next Wednesday.”

“Whose turn is it?” Eddie simply asks, because for months now they both have been going, taking turns. It started when Eddie asked him to fill in for him once, and then just never stopped.

“Yours, but we have a day off, so we can go together for once.” Buck shrugs, shoving a forkful of lasagna into his mouth. “It is the last one of the year.”

And Eddie looks at Buck, and his heart beats a little bit faster. He loves how involved Buck is with Chris and his school, that he goes to those conferences, that he’s in the parent group chat, that Eddie definitely muted and gets information from Buck, because all the parents are being annoying and responding with a thumbs up to every single thing the teacher says, blowing up his phone. Buck’s been involved in all kinds of bake sales, school projects, he’s been helping with homework, on occasion driving Chris to school and any extracurriculars, and for sleepovers – they take turns with most of that, to be honest. It sounds like a lot, and it is, and Eddie doesn’t think he’d be able to do it all without Buck.

So, Eddie’s very aware how involved Buck is, and that he knows all the teachers and parents, but when they get there on Wednesday, he’s still taken aback by how happy everyone is to see Buck, how friendly they’re being with him – then again, Eddie’s pretty sure that every single person Buck meets falls a little bit in love with him, be it platonic or not, it’s just how it is, Buck’s too amazing for it to not be the case. Eddie thinks that Buck stole a piece of his heart when they first met, and then, over the years, Eddie kept giving him the rest, piece by piece, and now it belongs solely to Buck.

They find out that Chris is doing great at school, which isn’t a surprise, and when the teacher refers to him as their son, neither feels the need to correct her, because there’s nothing to correct. Buck is Christopher’s parent, and Eddie’s happy that he finally started to believe it and stopped denying it whenever it’s implied, which he did for a hot minute before they talked about it. Well, Eddie talked, maybe even ranted a bit, about how both he and Christopher see him, how he’s the best co-parent Eddie could’ve ever asked for, and Buck just stared at him speechless. He never showed any doubt about his role in Chris’ life again, and Eddie makes sure to remind him of that from time to time.

When they leave the classroom, Eddie decides to be brave, and grabs Buck’s hand, just because he feels like it. Buck looks at him with surprise, and then smiles. They hold hands until they get to the car, and don’t mention it. But it’s something. It’s a start.

He thinks back to the last couple of months of playing house, of dinners together, doing chores together, Buck spending more nights than not at his place, in Eddie’s bed, because the couch is too uncomfortable for Eddie to let Buck sleep there. Of hanging out with Chris, and navigating this whole pre-teen phase together, which is much less scary with Buck at his side. And even going to freaking parent-teacher conferences together. And as Eddie thinks about all that, and looks at Buck, who’s driving them home, he decides that they’ve been dancing around it long enough. He needs to make a move soon, if Buck’s not gonna.

But it’s another moment, a few weeks later, that comes so casually and naturally he barely registers anything weird about it, that makes him determined to do it that night.

They’re at work, it’s the end of their shift, and they’re changing in the locker room. Eddie’s done first, and before leaving he asks Buck:

“You coming over tonight, babe?” Because for once they came to work separately, because Buck spent last night at his loft, and Eddie missed him like crazy. And he doesn’t realize that the pet name slipped out until he thinks back to this moment later.

“Yeah, of course.” Buck shrugs, not affected by what Eddie said at all. However, out of the corner of his eye, Eddie can see Chimney and Hen exchange glances. “I’ll just stop by the grocery store on the way. I grabbed the list from the fridge.” he adds, referring to the little magnetic notepad they keep on their fridge to add items to the list as soon as they run out – well, Eddie does, it’s his house, but it was Buck who bought it and started using it. “Unless you wanna come with me?” he looks at Eddie while buttoning up his shirt, and Eddie’s eyes follow his fingers automatically.

“Uh, yeah, sure.” he smiles, forcing himself to look back up at Buck’s face. “Our usual store, right?” Buck nods. “Great, I’ll meet you there. Bye, guys.” he throws in the direction of Chim and Hen, and leaves.

“Have we missed something?” he still hears Chimney ask, confusion in his voice. “When did you guys-” He doesn’t hear the rest, but he knows what Chim’s asking. He wonders what Buck’s answer’s going to be. Because, honestly, Eddie thinks that everyone missed something, including him and Buck. Eddie, for one, feels like they omitted the actual conversation about dating and moving in together, and suddenly that’s just what they do now, at least partly.

So, that night, after doing the groceries, he helps Buck with dinner, just some simple things Buck allows him to do, because Eddie still sucks at cooking – but Buck has been teaching him, and he’s getting better. Later, they eat together, play some board games with their kid, and watch a movie. It’s the perfect, boring, but not boring at all, night in with his family, and Eddie thinks that he’s never been more content in his life.

After Chris goes to get ready for bed, Buck gets up from the couch to start cleaning up. Instead of getting up to help, Eddie just sits there and stares at this man, who moves around his house as if he’s lived here his whole life, who knows where every single item is, sometimes better than Eddie, who already has half of his belongings here, whose presence is visible for anyone who walks in, who’s in all the family pictures… who’s been sharing a bed with Eddie for months now. And suddenly, Eddie hears himself blurt out:

“Move in with us.” Well, that’s not how he planned to start, ideally he’d tell Buck how he feels first, but he can’t take it back now. He doesn’t want to take it back.

Buck stops in his tracks and turns to look at Eddie, three glasses and an empty popcorn bowl in his hands.

“What?”

“You should move in with us.” Eddie doubles down, now also standing up. He walks up to Buck, takes the dishes out of his hands and places them on the table. He grabs Buck’s hands. “You basically live here already anyway, what’s the point of paying rent for an apartment you sleep in once a week, if not less?” he’s smiling, feeling way calmer than he expected. Buck looks stunned. “You’re here all the time, and I want you here even more often. This is your home, Buck. It just makes sense.”

“I don’t know what to say.” Buck responds, eyes wide, as he’s processing. Eddie’s smile widens, and he puts one hand on Buck’s cheek.

“Then listen to me first.” Eddie takes a deep breath. Here goes nothing. When he speaks, his voice is calm and quiet, and firm. More decisive than ever. “Every time I think I can’t love you any more than I already do,” he hears Buck inhale sharply at that, “I look at you, at your smile that always lights up my day, and at how you are with Chris, at how you fit into our lives, and you prove me wrong. Because I love you so damn much, and I think I’m falling deeper in love every single day, every single second.”

“Eddie.” Buck breathes.

“We’ve been dancing around this for months, if not years. I mean, look at us, at our life together. We’ve basically been married with a kid for who knows how long, and I never even got to take you out on a date.” Eddie chuckles. “We just… work. All the years together, everything we went through, only proved that time and time again. And I’m tired of pretending like I have no idea this is happening. I want you, Buck, in every way imaginable.” he finishes, only now starting to feel nerves, while Buck keeps staring at him, unmoving. Shit, did he break him? Maybe it was a lot to put on him right now, and he needs to process. Because there’s no doubt in Eddie’s mind that Buck feels the same, that’s not even a question.

“Eds.” Buck says, and then a laugh rips out of him. “God, Eddie.” he brings his arms up to wrap them around Eddie’s back, and Eddie instantly relaxes. “You’re my absolute favorite person in the world, you know that? That is, aside from Christopher, obviously.” he grins, leaning in closer, their noses brushing now. “I love you so much. And I want it all, you and Chris, and this family, this home. I want this.”

“Good.” Eddie closes the distance, finally kissing Buck. He tastes like popcorn and soda, and candy he and Chris were eating earlier. He also tastes like sunshine and home, and the rest of Eddie’s life. It’s a sweet and tender kiss, and it only ends when they can’t contain their wide smiles anymore.

“So.” Buck leans his forehead against Eddie’s. “Moving in before we even have our first date?”

“Hey, we started with being all married-domestic and raising a kid together.” Eddie laughs. “So what if we’re doing it a little backwards? It works for us.”

“Okay.” Buck whispers with the biggest smile. “Let’s do it, then.”

It’s barely a few weeks before the rest of Buck’s stuff is at their home, and he officially moves in. Not much changes. They raise their kid, help him with his homework, have movie and game nights, share chores, cook together, host parties and get-togethers with their friends. They share a life. And Eddie’s heart is so full, he doesn’t think he could ever be happier, or love his little family any more than he does now.

#buddie fic #fluff #domestic fluff #domestic buddie #buddie fanfic #911 fic #so corny #getting together #first kiss #love confessions #moving in together #they're dating #but not really #they're in love #my writing #wikiangela writes #someone take maren morris away from before I ruin all her songs with corny fics #title from maren morris - I can't love you anymore #the first lineaday I posted was from this one idk

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