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rowansparrow · 3 years

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Juke Box Hero: A Rose Story

This is SO STUPID LMAO But I hope you guys like it anyway. I’m back on my bullshit and I am here to provide you with a little story based off THIS POST. Anon, thank you for your service, because this was very, very fun.

This snippet takes place during Chapter Seven of BAON, during the flashback when Reader is meeting Rex for the first time and Rose and Co. are stuck cleaning up the barracks. You don’t necessarily have to have read it for this to make sense, but the right context might be neat.

Also, for timeline purposes/in BAON, Tup and Dogma technically never met Rose, as they weren’t part of the 501st before he died, but I’m including them in this because I make the rules and I wanted to.

Also Denal’s here because I think he’s a funky dude and deserves more content.

The clones deserve to dance and have fun and who’s gonna write them doing that if it ain’t me?

Rating: Mature-ish? There are some dirty jokes and swearing but mostly it’s Just fun shenanigans with Rose and Bros.

(Also I spent a TON of time picking everyone’s songs so pls tell me what you think of my selections lmao).

I’m tagging everyone from the BAON tag list in case you’re interested. Enjoy!

In retrospect, perhaps Rose should have put a stop to the loth cat situation – or as Hardcase called it, Operation: P.U.S.S.Y. He claimed it was an abbreviation for “Petting Unusually Sweet Strays, Yeah!”

“You have to call it something else.” Rose had said at the time, staring at the loth cat cradled protectively in Hardcase’s arms.

“But you’re not saying no?” Hardcase prompted eagerly, already bouncing lightly on his heels.

“Just…” Rose pinched the bridge of his nose. “Just… clean up after it? And if it breaks anything, it’s on you, and for the love of Force, don’t get caught.”

Now, as the Lieutenant surveyed the disarray that had befallen the barracks, and the company of very disgruntled subordinates, he was reconsidering his earlier leniency.

“I feel as the acting SIC, you’re the one who should be taking the flak for this, not the entire company.” Jesse grumbled, glaring at Lieutenant Rose over his shoulder as he scrubbed at the floor of the barracks.

“Don’t look at me. I’m not the one who brought a pregnant loth-cat into the barracks in the first place.” Rose replied, straightening up for a moment where he’d been hunched over, his back cracking as he moved.

“Well, you didn’t fight me very hard on it!” Hardcase protested. “And I didn’t know Beans was pregnant at the time! I didn’t even know she was a girl!”

His explanation only earned him several slugs to the arm from nearby vode.

“And just because I’m second-in-command does not make me exempt from the Captain’s wrath.” Rose added. “You didn’t get the dressing-down, you just have to carry out the punishment with me.”

“Hang on, I thought we agreed the cat’s name was going to be Road Rash?” Coric asked.

“That’s unladylike.” Said Denal. “And rude. She can’t help her scars.”

“And Beans is ladylike?” Jesse raised an eyebrow.

“She likes it! And her kits looked like beans when they came out too!”

Rose shook his head fondly at his men as they bickered. At least they weren’t complaining anymore.

In truth, he was surprised the situation had been managed as long as it had been. They’d lasted almost a full three weeks without anyone figuring out they were hiding a cat in the barracks. Of course, the kittens made it much harder, and they could only hide them in overturned helmets during inspections for so many days before the helmets started to mewl.

And once Beans threw a tantrum over not having her kits with her, it was game over. She’d knocked over an entire can of armor paint in her wrath, and blue pawprints and large paint puddles coated the durasteel of the barracks, and a few of the bunks had claw and bite marks in the fabric.

“It’ll take us an hour, maybe more, to clean this whole mess up.” Fives complained, looking around the barracks forlornly. He had a nasty scratch just under his eye from finally snatching Beans up in her rampage. “Kriff. I was excited to go out tonight.”

“Not to mention after we finish here the Captain said we had to go take over latrine and canteen detail from other battalions.”

“Then I guess you better get scrubbing.” Kix said absently, thumbing through medical requisition forms on his datapad and sitting cross-legged on one of the few bunks that didn’t have blue paw prints streaked across it.

“Why aren’t you helping? You’re part of the company too.” Echo said. “Fives and I are ARC troopers, if anyone here should be exempt from company-wide punishments, it’s us.”

“I’m not helping because I didn’t participate.” Kix replied, not looking up from his ‘pad.

“The kark you didn’t, you delivered the kits!” Fives snapped.

“Well, Captain Rex didn’t catch me, so.”

“That’s because you went and hid in the medbay and didn’t warn the rest of us he was coming.” Tup muttered under his breath.

“Not true. I sent Jesse a comm.” Kix said, finally looking up only to shrug and return to his work. “Which he didn’t check, and that’s not my fault.”

“It doesn’t matter who was involved and who wasn’t involved.” Dogma piped up. “Clearly, because if it did, I wouldn’t be here either.”

“We know.” Said Jesse and Fives in unison.

Rose sighed, his eyes drifting forlornly to his bunk. He spotted his footlocker sticking halfway out from underneath the durasteel, and he lit up. He opened it quickly, pulling out a beat-up radio he’d gotten at a market stall during one of his first deployments. He’d had to trade a droid popper and half his rations for it – Rex had not been pleased about it when he found out – but it was worth the two-day latrine rotation he’d gotten as punishment.

He’d already downloaded several songs off the HoloNet, along with a few channel recordings of past BoloBall games. Even if he knew who won them, it was still something to listen to on long stints on cruisers.

“What’cha doing, Lieutenant?” Tup asked, peeking around the corner as Rose straightened back up, fumbling with the little radio for a moment and propping it up on one of the bunks so the music could fill the whole room.

“No. NO! No.” Jesse jabbed a finger at the Lieutenant as he saw him set up the radio. “No. Absolutely not. I have had enough of your osik-brained, Force-forsaken, whack-ass music to last me a lifetime.”

Kix chuckled, rolling his eyes at the other trooper. “You listen exclusively to electronic dance music. Even when we aren’t at 79s. You have no room to talk.”

“This is better than that.” Rose promised, dialing up the volume. “This is the kind of stuff you’d find on the jukebox at Dex’s Diner.” He grinned. Dex was personal friends with General Kenobi, and was one of the few Coruscant establishments that was friendly to clones, as long as they behaved themselves. Rose had gone there with his brothers a handful of times, and even Anakin had dragged his Padawan Ahsoka, Rose, and Rex along once.

“You have a radio?” Dogma frowned. “Isn’t that contraband, sir?”

“Relax, it’s an old prewar-era radio, it’s not hurting anything.” Fives drawled, knocking Dogma lightly on the shoulder. “What’re you gonna play, sir?”

“Let’s see…” Rose filtered through his downloads, and grinned wider, pressing play.

Immediately, soft music rang through the barracks, and Jesse smacked his head against the bunk, groaning loudly.

“I’m begging you, Lieutenant.” Jesse said. “I’m begging.”

Rose was already swaying his hips, bending over to grab Jesse by the chin.

“On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair, warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air.” Rose serenaded him.

Jesse swatted Rose’s hand away, and Rose turned, swinging around on the side of the bunk and pointing to Fives this time. “Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light. My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim, I had to stop for the night.”

Fives grinned, joining in even as he stumbled slightly over the words.

“There she stood in the doorway. I heard the mission bell and I was thinking to myself, this could be Heaven or this could be Hell.”

Kix was drumming his fingers on his datapad, nodding along and singing under his breath.

“Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way. There were voices down the corridor, I thought I heard them say…”

“This is too slow.” Echo griped, rising to his feet and stepping over Dogma, who was still stubbornly scrubbing away at the barrack floors and refusing to engage even as the rest of the clones began quietly singing along with the chorus.

The ARC Trooper fiddled with the dial for a moment, scrolling through Rose’s music and selecting another song, already grinning as the chanting started through the speakers and eventually rippled through the ranks of the 501st.

“STOP.” Jesse barked, trying to kick Fives as the other ARC trooper hopped to his feet, stomping his feet and chanting along. “STOP, I HATE THIS ONE!”

Rose and Hardcase were chanting too, and Coric had started clapping his hands on an overturned bucket, a few shinies clapping their hands together as Echo shook his ass, kama swaying as he climbed up onto a nearby table. He scooped up a mop, pulling the handle to his mouth.

“I can’t stop this feeling, deep inside of me.” He pointed to Kix, grinding against the handle. “Girl, you just don’t realize what you do to me.”

Kix gave him the finger, and Echo pointed to Fives, who was still chanting with the others but was now holding up his helmet, recording the whole thing. Echo amped up his performance.

“When you hold me in your arms so tight, you let me know everything’s alright. I’m hooked on a feeling!”

Tup whooped from where he’d moved to sit on one of the bunks. Dogma shot him a nasty look, which he ignored in favor of watching Echo strut on the table.

“I’m high on believing that you’re in love with me. Lips as sweet as candy, its taste is on my mind. Girl you got me thirsty for another cup of wine.”

“Wait, wait, wait, I have a good one.” Fives shoved his helmet at Hardcase, letting him take over recording as he scrambled to the radio, quickly turning the dial once again and elbowing Echo off the table as fast, loud, angry guitars shredded through the barracks.

Jesse seemed to perk up just slightly, and any of the 501st troopers who were still trying to actually clean – save for Dogma – had abandoned their supplies and had elected to dance instead, crowding the table and forming a makeshift mosh pit.

Fives was nothing if not a showman, and when he snatched the mop from Echo, he performed.

“When I get high, I get high on speed. Top fuel funny car’s a drug for me, my heart! My heart! Kickstart my heart!”

He stomped his foot hard on the table, flipping his head back and running one hand messily through his hair.

“Always got the cops coming after me, custom-built bike doing 103, my heart! My heart! Kickstart my heart!”

Rose laughed, watching as Fives looked at the helmet Hardcase was hoisting up over the crowd, singing into the camera and rolling his shoulders back.

“Ooh, are ya ready, girls? Ooh, are you ready now? Woah, yeah! Kickstart my heart, baby give it a start. Woah, yeah! Baby! Kickstart my heart, hope it never stops. Woah, yeah, baby yeah!”

The clones joined him for the chorus, and then Fives dropped to his knees like he’d seen rockers do on the HoloNet, high fiving the nearest vode. Dogma was still stubbornly trying to clean up the barracks, but had moved on to one of the far corners, only giving the rest of his battalion the occasional side-eye.

“Skydive naked from an aeroplane, or a lady with a body from outer space, my heart. My heart! Kickstart my heart.” He wiggled his hips as he straightened back up, biting his lip through a grin and dropping his hand to his hips and shaking his fist obscenely, as though he was jerking himself off.

“Say I got trouble, trouble in my eyes, I’m just looking for another good time, my heart. My heart! Kickstart my heart!”

Before Fives could do something else profane – or possibly attempt to crowd-surf and give Rose a handful of incident reports to fill out, the music suddenly shifted, and all heads turned to the radio.

Kix was smirking. He’d divested himself of the top half of his armor, instead electing to shimmy his way up onto the table in just the upper half of his blacks and lower armor plates. Fives exited, rejoining the crowd as Kix leveled a sultry look at the camera for just a moment before turning his back on the crowd.

“Clean shirt, new shoes, and I don’t know where I am goin’ to. Silk suit, black tie, I don’t need a reason why.”

He spun quickly, switching his grip on the mop handle as though he was holding a woman in his arms, dipping it low towards the crowd as he sang.

“They come a runnin’ just as fast as they can, ‘cos every girl’s crazy ‘bout a sharp dressed man.”

Fives and Echo were howling with laughter, and Hardcase wolf-whistled loud enough that Rose’s ears rang. Even Jesse had finally joined in, nodding his head along to the music and trying to bite back a grin. Tup had left the crowd to instead attempt to pull Dogma in, and Denal had rounded up a few newer members and was trying to push them closer to the front.

Kix unzipped the top half of his blacks, doing a slow strip-tease in time with the music.

“Gold watch, diamond ring, I ain’t missin’, not a single thing. And cufflinks, stickpin, when I step out I’mma do you in.” Kix shrugged out of his blacks and rolled his hips along the mop handle, dropping his ass low and slowly dragging himself back up, grinding against the handle.

“They come a runnin’ just as fast as they can, ‘cos every girl’s crazy ‘bout a sharp dressed man.”

Fives actually pretended to faint, falling backwards into Echo, who was laughing so hard that he fell over with him.

“ALRIGHT!” Dogma shouted over the music, elbowing his way through the crowd with Tup following anxiously behind him. Dogma firmly stopped the music, hands on his hips as he turned to face the rest of his brothers, who’d begun to boo.

“We have orders,” Dogma reminded them. “This is a punishment, not a party. When we finish here, we’re supposed to clean the shower block, and then we’re supposed to report to the mess hall and take over the canteen cleanup shifts.”

“We know the orders, Dogma.” Rose said, putting a hand on the younger trooper’s shoulder. “There’s no harm in having fun while you work.”

“I’m the only one still working.” Dogma grumbled.

“Alright, alright, we’ll turn it low for now, and we’ll finish up in here, then we can bring the radio with us when we move to the refreshers and canteen. Fair?” He asked, turning to the rest of the men. There were a few muttered responses, and Rose raised an eyebrow.

“Sorry, I couldn’t quite make that out.” He said. “We are cleaning this mess up, correct gentlemen?”

“Sir yes sir!” They all answered quickly, hurrying back to work.

Rose chuckled, shifting the music to something a little calmer, the gentle piano wafting through the barracks as they continued to clean up.

Denal’s head perked up as soon as he heard the piano start, and while he didn’t climb up onto the table like his brothers had, he smiled to himself, turning back towards the spot he was scrubbing and singing to the durasteel floor.

“I'm sailing away. Set an open course for the Virgin Sea.”

Echo hummed, closing his eyes and rocking back on his heels for a moment, listening to his older vod croon.

“'Cause I've got to be free. Free to face the life that's ahead of me.” Denal continued, his voice soft but steady. “On board I'm the captain, so climb aboard. We'll search for tomorrow on every shore and I'll try, oh Lord I'll try… to carry on.”

Somebody whistled, a few scattered claps ringing through the barracks. Coric picked up where Denal left off.

“I look to the sea, reflections in the waves spark my memory. Some happy some sad.” He sang. “I think of childhood friends, and the dreams we had.”

Tup glanced to Dogma, who was practically seething as he scrubbed at the same spot on the floor that he’d been working on for the past several minutes. “You like this song, don’t you, Dogma?”

“No I don’t. Shut up.”

“Join in. They won’t mind.” Tup encouraged.

“No.”

“We live happily forever, so the story goes. But somehow we missed out on that pot of gold.” Sang Coric. “But we'll try best that we can to carry on!”

The music picked up, and Jesse shot Rose a look.

“This is a deceptively fast song.” He said.

“It sneaks up on ya.” Rose chuckled.

The barracks devolved into chaos once again, the clones all screaming along to the lyrics, even the ones who didn’t know the words picked it up quickly, encouraged by their brothers.

Despite the distractions, they finally finished cleaning the barracks, and Rose plucked the radio from where he’d stashed it, leading the way down the hallway towards the refreshers. The 501st were especially rowdy in the quiet halls – most of the barracks were empty, the clones who weren’t being punished for loth-cat related shenanigans were taking advantage of the shore leave.

When they opened the door to the shower block, they encountered a few members of the 212th already in there, cleaning up.

“Pack it in, lads.” Rose announced. “We’re taking over for you.”

“What? Why?” Boil asked, leaning on a mop and raising an eyebrow. “Did you get in trouble?”

“Yes.” Hardcase replied sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“All of you?” Waxer poked his head out from inside one of the refresher stalls, Crys and Wooley pausing from where they were wiping down countertops.

“Yeah, it’s Hardcase’s fault. As usual.” Jesse said, strolling over to Boil and plucking the mop from his hands. “We’re supposed to take over your shifts.”

“Good, I was hoping to get to 79’s tonight before last call. I hear they’ve got purple spotchka.” Boil said excitedly, glancing at Waxer over his shoulder.

“We can help you finish.” Waxer said, immediately raining on his brother’s parade. “There isn’t much left to do anyway.”

“You sure?” Rose asked. “It’s technically a punishment -.”

“Nah, it’s fine, there really isn’t much left, aside from the toilets.” He grinned. “But you boys can handle those.”

“Fair enough.” Rose chuckled, nodding over his shoulder to his men. Fives, Echo, Jesse, and Hardcase were in a heated four-way battle of rock, flimsi, cutters in order to determine who had to clean the toilets first.

“What’s that?” One trooper Rose didn’t recognize asked, pointing to his hand.

“It’s a radio!” Rose said cheerfully. “I’m err… technically not supposed to have it. But we’ve been listening to music while we worked.” He set it up on the countertop. “Do you have a favorite song…?”

“Spitter.” The 212th trooper supplied helpfully.

“Spitter.” Rose repeated, chuckling to himself and wondering how the hell he’d earned that name. “Do you have a favorite song?”

“I don’t know the name of it.” The trooper admitted shyly. “But – but it’s the one they play on the hits channel all the time. I hear it playing in the admiral’s quarters on the Negotiator all the time.”

“I know that one!” Waxer said excitedly, nodding to Rose. “It’s the one Commander Cody likes. You were playing it in the hangar a few weeks ago when our flight detail overlapped.”

“I remember.” Rose smiled, and turned the song on.

Immediately, every head, including Dogma’s, perked up at the familiar tune. Fives clapped his hands together, getting them started.

“When I wake up, well I know I’m gonna be, I’m gonna be the man who wakes up next to you.”

The younger trooper, Spitter, lit up and followed it up.

“When I go out, yeah I know I’m gonna be, I’m gonna be the man who goes along with you.”

Waxer elbowed Boil, trying to get him to join in, but the other trooper shook his head and crossed his arms, rolling his eyes even as Waxer sang.

“If I get drunk, well I know I’m gonna be, I’m gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you.”

Their voices carried through the refresher’s tiled walls, and Jesse picked up where Waxer left off.

“And if I haver, yeah I know I’m gonna be, I’m gonna be the man who’s havering to you.”

When the chorus rolled around, everyone joined in, their voices bouncing off the walls around them.

“But I would walk five hundred miles, and I would walk five hundred more, just to be the man who walked a thousand miles to fall down at your door.”

“When I’m working,” Kix began, offering a hand to Wooley and giving him a playful spin. “Yes I know I’m gonna be, I’m gonna be the man who’s working hard for you.”

“And when the money comes in for the work I do, I’ll pass almost every penny on to you.” Wooley laughed, shoving Kix away with a grin.

“When I come home,” Tup piped up quickly, before someone else could. “Oh, I know I’m gonna be, I’m gonna be the man who comes back home to you.”

“And if I grow old,” Crys smirked, shaking his shoulders at Fives, who punched him playfully in the arms and joined in, singing the line in unison. “Well, I know I’m gonna be, I’m gonna be the man who’s growing old with you.”

The chorus returned, and they sang with even more feeling than before, dancing and tossing their heads back, shouting along to the words and nearly drowning out the music itself as they sang.

As the final verse approached, Waxer sidled up next to Boil, giving him a hopeful look. His brother sighed, scrubbing a hand bitterly over his face and reluctantly joined in.

“When I’m lonely, well I know I’m gonna be, I’m gonna be the man who’s lonely without you.” He sang.

“And when I’m dreaming,” Echo called. “Well I know I’m gonna dream, I’m gonna dream about the time when I’m with you.”

“And when I go out, well I know I’m gonna be, I’m gonna be the man who goes along with you.” Fives followed.

“And when I come home, yes I know I’m gonna be, I’m gonna be the man who comes back home with you.” Denal said.

Tup took a deep breath, preparing to finish off the verse, but he was cut off.

“I’m gonna be the man who’s coming home,” Dogma’s voice was shaky as all eyes turned to him, and he finished in a squeak. “With you.”

The room erupted in cheers, Fives catching Dogma under his arm and giving him a noogie as the chorus rang out once again, everyone shouting along to the lyrics together.

When the song ended, and the cleanup was done, the 212th parted ways with the 501st, the brothers patting one another on the back and jeering affectionately at one another now that the song and dance was done.

“If you finish with everything before final call, catch up with us at 79’s.” Boil called over his shoulder. “We can give the vode there a run for their money with our rendition of that song.”

“Count on it.” Rose chuckled, giving the other company a little salute before leading his men on towards the canteen.

The canteen, blessedly, was empty, and most of it was already clean. All they really had to do was wipe everything down, mop, and then make sure the kitchen was well-prepped for the next day.

“I didn’t know you had it in ya, Dogma.” Echo said affectionately, knocking his younger vod playfully in the shoulder as they walked.

“Let’s just get this over with.” Dogma muttered, his ears burning as he pushed into the canteen, grabbing the cleaning supplies from the nearby supply closet.

“Who’s turn was it for a solo?” Fives asked, watching as Rose started to set up the radio above one of the food windows so it could project into the entire cafeteria.

“I think Dogma should go.” Kix grinned. “Now that we know he’s got some pipes.”

“Absolutely not.” Dogma said immediately, not looking up from where he was wiping down tables.

“I can go first?” Tup offered, raising his hand sheepishly. Dogma shot him another stern look, but Tup was already wandering over to the radio, moving the dial and tentatively pressing play.

Upbeat music filled the canteen, and the other troopers cheered as Fives ushered Tup over to the nearest table, boosting him up on top of it and then thrusting a mop into his hands. Hardcase was already fumbling with the helmet again, trying to get a recording as Tup tapped his foot along with the beat, nodding his head as he found his rhythm.

“I get up in the evening, and I ain’t got nothing to say. I come home in the morning, I go to bed feeling the same way.”

Fives was leading other troopers in pounding the surrounding tables in time with the drumbeats while Echo was leading another group to clap in time.

“I ain’t nothing but tired! Man, I’m just tired and bored with myself.” Tup flashed the camera a grin, reaching up and pulling his hair tie out, shaking his wild curls loose around his head. “Hey there baby, I could use just a little help.”

Jesse whistled, and Dogma had stopped cleaning and was watching his brother, the slightest smile pulling at his lips.

“You can’t start a fire, can’t start a fire without a spark. This gun’s for hire, even if we’re just dancing in the dark.”

Tup shook his hair out of his eyes, tossing his head back and jerking his hips.

“Messages keep getting clearer, radio’s on and I’m moving ‘round my place. I check my look in the mirror, wanna change my clothes, my hair, my face!”

He swayed his hips again, and Hardcase shoved the camera at Kix instead so he could join in the clapping.

“Man, I ain’t getting nowhere, I’m just living in a dump like this. There’s something happening somewhere, baby I just know that there is.”

He hopped off the table, instead taking Dogma’s hand and dragging him towards the makeshift stage.

“You can’t start a fire, you can’t start a fire without a spark. This gun’s for hire, even if we’re just dancing in the dark.”

He pushed the mop into Dogma’s hands instead, beaming at him as he scurried off the table, sprinting over to the radio and quickly changing the song.

Immediately, slow guitar started but quickly escalated into heavy drums and fast riffs. Dogma’s cheeks turned a darker shade, and he looked frantically to Tup, trying to climb back down off the stage.

“No, no, come on!” Fives shouted, trying to body block Dogma from getting down. “Come on, you got this!”

The lyrics began, and Dogma sang along, his mouth barely moving, voice almost imperceptible.

“Another head hangs lowly, child is slowly taken… and the violence caused such silence, who are we mistaken?”

“Come on!” Tup called to him. “You LOVE this song! Let ‘em hear it!”

Dogma grit his teeth, his voice gaining strength. “But you see, it’s not me, it’s not my family, in your head, in your head they are fighting.”

He stomped his foot on the table, practically snarling out the words. “With their tanks, and their bombs, and their bombs, and their guns, in your head, in your head they are crying.”

He threw his head back, and for not the first time that night, the radio was drowned out by cheers.

“In your head! In your head! Zombie, Zombie, Zombie. What’s in your head? In your head? Zombie, Zombie, Zombie!”

Dogma climbed off the table quickly, his ears and cheeks burning but a small smile was on his face, even as he was smothered by Hardcase, Fives, Tup, and Echo swarming him with hugs and rubbing his head affectionately.

Jesse climbed up onto the table next, picking up the discarded mop and clearing his throat.

“I would just like to dedicate this song to the gorgeous woman I picked up at 79s last week.” He drawled, nodding once to Kix, who was hovering knowingly by the radio. He nodded once to the helmet, which was now stationed on a nearby table, still recording. “Darling, you had the best pair of tits I have ever seen in my entire life, and you had the mouth of an angel and the coochie of a devil.”

Fives whistled, and Coric snickered. Rose rolled his eyes.

“So, babygirl, this one is for you.”

Kix turned on the radio, and Jesse grinned.

“Shot through the heart, and you’re to blame. Darling, you give love a bad name.”

Guitar rang out through the mess hall, and Jesse bit his lip, rolling his hips as he leaned slightly off the edge of the table.

“An angel’s smile is what you sell, you promised me heaven then put me through hell. Chains of love got a hold on me, when passion’s a prison, you can’t break free.”

He dropped into a crouch, singing directly into the camera.

“Whoa, you’re a loaded gun, whoa, there’s nowhere to run, no one can save me, the damage is done!”

He jumped to his feet, the table shaking under him as he landed.

“Shot through the heart, and you’re to blame. You give love a bad name. I play my part and you play your game, you give love a bad name!” He turned his back on the crowd, dropping low again and slowly rising, shaking his ass. “Yeah you give love…”

He looked over his shoulder, tossing the camera a wink. “…a bad name.”

The music changed abruptly, and for a moment Jesse looked pissed. “What the hell, ‘Case?”

But his expression shifted as Hardcase rushed to the table, pushing his brother out of the way and taking the mop from him. The crowd cheered all over again as Jesse climbed down, brothers slapping him on the shoulders as Hardcase’s song started up.

“We finish strong, right vode?” He asked cheekily.

“We still have to finish cleaning!” Dogma called back.

Hardcase only smirked in response, and sang quickly to keep up with the lightning fast lyrics.

“Backstroking lover always hiding ‘neath the cover, can I talk to you, my daddy say. He said, you ain’t seen nothing ‘til you’re down on a muff and then you’re sure to be a-changin’ your ways.”

He cupped his codpiece, bucking his hips forward into his own hand.

“I met a cheerleader, was a real young bleeder, all the times I can reminisce. ‘Cos the best things of lovin’ with her sister and her cousin only started with a little kiss, like this!”

He swung his arms wide, shaking his ass in time with the music and stuck his tongue out, having the time of his life.

“See-saw swingin’ with the boys in the school and your feet flyin’ up in the air. Singin’ hey diddle diddle with your kitty in the middle of the swing like you didn’t care.”

He walked backwards along the table, rolling his shoulders back as he moved.

“So I took a big chance at the high school dance with a missy who was ready to play. Wasn’t me she was foolin’ ‘cos she knew what she was doin’, and I know love is here to stay when she told me to walk this way!”

The rest of the 501st joined in with him, repeating the chorus of “Walk this way! Walk this way! Walk this way!” over and over again, Hardcase taking over again as the next verse began.

“School girl sweetie was the sassy kinda classy, little skirt’s climbing way up her knees. There was three young ladies in the school gym locker when I noticed they was lookin’ at me.”

He ran his hands along his thigh, mimicking raising a skirt.

“I was a high school loser, never made it with a lady ‘til the boys told me something I missed. Then my next-door neighbor with a daughter had a favor so I gave her just a little kiss, like this!”

“Do you think he has any idea what he’s singing about?” Kix asked Rose, leaning back against the counter and chuckling.

He watched as Hardcase went back to grabbing his own crotch, dry-humping the air and hummed.

“I’d say most likely.”

“See-saw swingin’ with the boys in the school and your feet flyin’ up in the air. Singin’ hey diddle diddle with your kitty in the middle of the swing like you didn’t care.”

Hardcase grinned, and to both Kix and Rose’s utter chagrin, Hardcase actually did dive off the makeshift stage and attempt to crowd surf.

“I’m not patching you up!” Kix shouted over the roar of the music. Rose chuckled, turning the volume nod down as the rest of the 501st shouted in protest.

“Alright, that’s enough for now.” The Lieutenant said, taking control once more. “We can listen to it quietly in the background, but we really do need to wrap up cleaning.”

“Why? Got a date tonight?” Jesse asked with a raised eyebrow. Rose punched him lightly in the arm, and they got back to work once again.

They worked in relative silence, the occasional voice humming or singing along to the music, but they remained productive right up until one of the final songs Rose had downloaded cut through the speaker. The piano wasn’t as rich-sounding as it was through a regular speaker, but even through the tinny cadence of the beat-up radio, every single trooper in the canteen bolted upright, eyebrows raised. Rose smiled knowingly, and turned up the volume once again.

Fives beamed, sitting down on top of one of the tables and laying back, one leg bent and the other stretched flat, a hand behind his head as he sang up at the ceiling.

“Just a small-town girl, living in a lonely world. She took the midnight train going anywhere.”

Jesse leaned back against the wall on the other side of the canteen, closing his eyes as he joined in.

“Just a city boy, born and raised in south Detroit. He took the midnight train going anywhere.”

Echo kept mopping, but was grinning as he picked up the next line. “A singer in a smoky room, the smell of wine and cheap perfume.”

Kix grinned. “For a smile, they can share the night, it goes on, and on, and on, and on.”

The rest of the 501st joined in together, their voices carrying in perfect harmony.

“Strangers, waiting. Up and down the boulevard, their shadows searching in the night. Streetlight people, living just to find emotion, hiding somewhere in the -.”

“Night!” Hardcase shouted, straining every muscle in his chest and neck as he struggled to reach the high note.

Tup picked up the next verse, climbing onto one of the tables and dragging Dogma up with him once again.

“Working hard to get my fill, everybody wants the thrill. Paying anything to roll the dice just one more time.”

Dogma smiled, nodding his head along to the music. “Some will win, some will lose.”

Tup threw his arm around his brother, and the two of them sang together. “Some were born to sing the blues!”

Rose’s voice carried from over by the radio. “Oh the movie never ends, it goes on and on, and on and on!”

“Strangers waiting, up and down the boulevard, their shadows searching in the night. Streetlight people, living just to find emotion, hiding somewhere in the -.”

“NIGHT!” This time, it was Dogma, of all people, who rang out with the high note, and the explosion of shouts and cheers was deafening. They were screaming along to the lyrics, dancing and jumping and shouting and swaying in time with the song.

“Don’t stop believin’! Hold on to that feeling. Streetlight people! Don’t stop believin’, hold on-”

“WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE?!”

The booming voice was so powerful, it could be heard even over the shouts of all the clones. Echo was closest to the radio, and quickly shut it off as the song and dance stopped immediately, every clone scrambling to stand at attention.

The Jedi that filled the doorway was massive, an imposing shadow in the entrance to the canteen. He zeroed in on Tup and Dogma, who had been standing closest to the entrance, and stormed towards them.

“Who is your commanding officer?!”

“Me, sir.”

The Besalisk Jedi turned, spinning on Rose immediately. He stalked over to the Lieutenant, jabbing a meaty finger into his chest, hard enough to send him stumbling backwards.

“What is the meaning of this?” He snarled.

“Sir, we were assigned cleaning detail.” He explained. “We were just finishing up.”

The Jedi bared his teeth. “Doesn’t look like much cleaning was taking place to me.”

He surveyed the rest of the troopers, but turned his head back to Rose.

“What is your designation?”

“CT-7673.” Rose recited immediately, keeping his back ramrod straight at attention, even though the Jedi was deep in his personal space. He knew this man. General Krell had quite the reputation through the GAR, and Rose had no clue what he was doing outside of the Jedi Temple this late at night.

“Who is your commanding officer?”

“Captain Rex, sir.”

“Not a clone! Is there a malfunction in your design?!” The Jedi bellowed. A few feet behind him, Hardcase flinched at the sudden loud sound, but Rose held still. “Your general, CT-7673! Who is your Commanding Officer!?”

“General Skywalker, sir.” Rose said instead. The canteen was so quiet, you could hear a pin drop.

He turned his head, noticing the little radio on the table and picked it up, the device small in his massive hands, raising an eyebrow at Rose. “Contraband, disturbance of the peace, behavior unbecoming of an officer, insubordination.” He hissed. “That’s plenty of grounds for a court martial, Lieutenant.”

“Sir.” Fives spoke up, taking a step towards them. “Proper chain of command designates General Skywalker as the one to hand down a court martial order, sir.”

He narrowed his eyes, his voice dripping with contempt. “With all due respect, sir, you do not command this battalion, and cannot order a court martial on the Lieutenant.”

“Fives.” Rose snapped, whipping his head around to face Fives. “Stand down. Now.”

The ARC Trooper shrank back, his hands curled into fists at his sides, and the General turned back to Rose.

“Be that as it may,” he began icily. “You can rest assured this breach of conduct will not go unreported.”

“Yes sir.” Rose replied stiffly.

General Krell pulled back at last, surveying the battalion. “I want this canteen spotless, and not a word out of you in the meantime!” He ordered. “And I don’t think you’ll be needing this anymore.”

With one quick motion, he smashed the radio in his hands. Rose heard a soft, hurt sound somewhere behind him, but ignored it. He didn’t look away from the General.

“Dismissed.” Krell growled, turning and stalking towards the doors. “And as for you,” He turned, jabbing one large finger at Fives. “I’ll be mentioning you in my report as well. Pray our paths do not cross again, clone.”

And with those words, he left the canteen.

Rose relaxed, but only minimally so. The silence hung heavy over the 501st, and everyone quietly shuffled back to work.

Rose gripped the mop handle tightly as he worked, his knuckles turning white. His chest burned, a tight, constricting feeling wrapped around his insides. It was a feeling he’d never felt before – anger, sadness, humiliation, resignation – all rolled into one hateful ball, coiled in his gut.

“Finished with the kitchen, sir.” Came Tup’s small voice. He’d put his hair back up, the tight bun back to regulation standards. Dogma was standing stiff beside him, still not entirely relaxed yet. “And the um – the canteen area’s just about wrapped up as well.”

“Very good.” Rose said with a small nod. “I’ll report back to Captain Rex, let him know we’ve finished for the night.”

“Sorry about your radio, sir.” Hardcase murmured, rubbing the back of his neck.

“It’s alright, ‘Case.” Rose smiled, but his eyes were sad. “It was – it was old, anyway. Just a silly thing.”

Fives bristled, his jaw setting as he tossed the bucket he’d been holding back into the supply closet with far more force than necessary.

“We aren’t supposed to leave base for the rest of the night, right?” Denal asked, arms folded across his chest as they finished the last of the cleanup. “Guess we could play Sabacc or something back in the barracks?”

There were a few murmured agreements, and the 501st shuffled back towards the barracks. Rose was still thinking about the General, and had a bitter taste in his mouth. They hadn’t been doing anything wrong, really.

Was it such a crime to enjoy oneself? To simply exist?

Fives and Echo fell into step on either side of Rose, the ARC Troopers bracketing their Lieutenant. “I bet Echo and I could rebuild the radio.” Fives offered. “Might take a little bit, but even if we can’t, Kix is real good at bartering stuff down in the markets. Remember when he got us those HoloDisc movies for just a tube of bacta?”

“We could find another radio for you?” Echo suggested hopefully. “Or maybe,” he lowered his voice slightly. “Maybe Y/N could find you one?”

“Let it go.” Rose said, picking up the pace and pulling away from the ARC Troopers. They reentered the now far tidier barracks, and Rose gravitated back to his footlocker, starting to close it up and push it back under his bed. The metal clacked slightly against the edge of the bunk, and he paused, the tinny sound echoing in his ears.

He knocked the footlocker against the bunk again, listening to the little noise again.

Kark it. He was more than just a mindless flesh-droid. He was a person. A human being. And he liked music.

And he wasn’t about to let anybody take that away from him.

“I never got to do a song.” He announced, straightening up and putting his hands on his hips.

“You can’t be serious, sir.” Dogma said, shaking his head at him. “Haven’t we gotten in enough trouble?”

“I’m sure the General’s slithered back to the Temple by now, where he belongs.” Jesse replied, turning back to the Lieutenant. “We don’t have a radio anymore, sir.”

“We don’t need one.” Rose said, pulling his footlocker back out and propping up one leg on it. He tapped his foot against the metal, the rhythm settling, nodding his head along. He took a deep breath.

“Standing in the rain, with his head hung low. Couldn't get a ticket, it was a sold out show.”

Fives recognized the song, and started tapping his foot along, drumming his hands on an overturned weapons crate.

“Heard the roar of the crowd, he could picture the scene. Put his ear to the wall, then like a distant scream.” Rose climbed up onto the table. “He heard one guitar!”

Jesse slammed a bucket from earlier down against the supports of a bunk, the loud clang mimicking the strum of a guitar.

“Just blew him away. He saw stars in his eyes, and the very next day, bought a beat up six string in a secondhand store. Didn’t know how to play it, but he knew for sure, that one guitar!”

Another clang, this time from Kix repeating Jesse’s motion, and Echo, Denal, Coric and Fives were all drumming on overturned buckets and crates.

“Felt good in his hands! Didn’t take long to understand, just one guitar, slung way down low, was a one way ticket, only one way to go.”

Tup and Hardcase had picked up a brush – typically used for scrubbing their blasters and armor down – and were knocking it against the durasteel wall. Dogma had rounded up the others, a look of sheer determination on his face as they clamored around the bunks and tables, smacking their fists in rhythm with anything they could get their hands on.

“So he started rockin', ain't never gonna stop. Gotta keep on rockin', someday gonna make it to the top!”

Rose stomped his feet, and the rest of the 501st joined him for the chorus.

“And be a juke box hero, got stars in his eyes. He's a juke box hero!”

“He took one guitar,” Rose sang, while the rest of the battalion echoed “juke box hero, stars in his eyes” around him. “Juke box hero, he’ll come alive tonight.”

The singing quieted down, listening for a moment to see if anyone was coming, and Rose grinned, starting again and pitching his voice low.

“In a town without a name, in a heavy downpour, thought he passed his own shadow, by the backstage door.”

The clones took position, preparing to resume their makeshift instruments as Rose picked up in volume.

“Like a trip through the past, to that day in the rain. And that one guitar, made his whole life change! Now he needs to keep on rockin', he just can't stop! Gotta keep on rockin', that boy has got to stay on top!”

Once again, shouts rang out as his brothers joined him for the chorus, their voices louder and more determined than ever, refusing to be silenced.

“And be a juke box hero, got stars in his eyes. He's a juke box hero, got stars in his eyes. Yeah, juke box hero, stars in his eyes. With that one guitar, he'll come alive, come alive tonight.”

As they finished the song, Rose panted softly, glancing down at his commlink again. He decided he was going to go off base after all. He wanted to see you, and nobody, not his Captain’s orders, and definitely not some karking General like Krell, was going to stop him.

“Dismissed.” He said curtly, and took off out the door without another word.

SONGS USED (because they’re all bangers and you should listen to them):

The 501st (introduction): Hotel California Echo: Hooked on a Feeling Fives: Kickstart My Heart Kix: Sharp Dressed Man Jesse: You Give Love a Bad Name Coric and Denal: Come Sail Away Dogma: Zombie Tup: Dancing in the Dark Hardcase: Walk This Way The 212th and 501st: I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles) The 501st (Canteen finale): Don’t Stop Believin’ Rose and the 501st: Juke Box Hero

TAG LIST (Aka everyone on the tag list for BAON): @fat-zygerrian @ladydiomede @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life @threevie @cheesemachine44 @bubblyacey @fivedicksinatrenchcoat @loverofclones @starwarsgarbage @hockeyjedi13 @crazygirlwithasword @dar-manda-rjct @gotomarvelgal @baba-fett @whore4rex @bubblegumcat229 @generalcannoli @hellothere501stlover @in-the-crosshairs @vaderthepotater @for-the-love-of-clones @babyhowzer @imrealatedtothe501st @chewychewyque @bobafettuccini @baba-fett-writes @chromia7567 @coffeeandtodd @thedomesticatednerd @kirinpl @djarrex @a-c-lee @embarrassedauthornerd @kaorikoizumi @the-girl-of-rain-and-shadows @sammi9498 @theroguesully @salaminus

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hanoella · 3 years

Text

Affettuoso- With Feeling (Part 9)

Pairing: Bucky x Pianist!Reader

Set after the events of TFATWS: In an effort to start over and make a home in Louisiana, Bucky meets a friend of Sam’s who ends up being his landlord. With only a driveway to separate them, he finds that he’s not the only one looking for a fresh start.

Series tags/warnings: Slow Burn, Eventual Bucky x Reader, Mentions of Domestic Abuse, Canon Level Violence, PTSD, Mentions of sex, sexual activity

Part 9 Word Count: 8.1k

A/N: Sorry this one took a little while, I was super busy in real life! I went back an forth on it alot and I don’t think I’m going to write full on smut, but definitely there will be mentions and allusions to sexual activity. Thanks for being patient with me for this part!

Once again, thank you for all your support! Every heart and comment motivates me and is just so wonderful.

Taglist!: @vicmc624 @officiallykuute @undiadeestos @tailsoflightning @buckys2thicc @mischief-siriusly-managed

On Christmas day, you and Bucky went over for dinner at Sarah’s. You had gone together in your car, gifts for everyone in tow. Hanging up your coat, you were greeted cheerfully by Sam, Sarah, and the boys. Bucky watched as you knelt down to hug the younger one. The warm glow of the entryway giving your hair an orange glow.

AJ grabbed Bucky’s hand and started dragging him to the living room.

“Uncle Buck, come look at the presents I got this year!”

You gave Bucky an amused smile when he looked at you first. Lifting your eyebrows, you nodded your head slightly. Watching him get tugged along, you chuckled to yourself before heading to the bathroom. You washed your hands before pressing them onto your cheeks to cool them. Letting your hands fall to the sink, your eyes fell upon the pearl earrings that were swinging from your ear, gold filigree glinting in the light. Delicately touching one of the pearls, you thought back to that morning.

You were in the kitchen, cooking up a special breakfast for the day. Normally, you skipped breakfast in favor of sleeping in, but with Bucky being up by 7 AM latest, you were starting to adjust to his natural schedule. It was hard to stay asleep when your personal heater got up and walked away. He had brushed the hair out of your eyes as you stirred, saying that he was going to go for a run and shower. Curse that beautiful fit bastard for waking you up every morning.

Not being able to go back to sleep, you had walked out of your room to find that he had also gotten the fireplace going. Alpine was curled up on the end of the couch closest to the fire. Now, you had a breakfast quiche and bacon going in the oven as you flipped the batch of pancakes on the stove.

“What’s all this?” Bucky said as he walked in through the front door, freshly showered.

“Special morning breakfast, of course.”

He walked over to you and kissed your cheek, crouching down to look through the window of the oven.

“Wow, look at that. What did I do to get so lucky?”

You chuckled as you put the last of the pancakes on the stack. Toweling off your hands, you opened one of the kitchen island drawers and pulled out a small blue box with a silver ribbon. You placed it on the counter in front of him, waiting expectantly.

“I got you something.” You were barely able to contain your excitement. Bucky held the box for a moment before gently tearing the wrapping paper. Quirking his head at the packaging, he looked up at you.

“Coms?”

It took you a second before you registered the lingo.

“Oh, no, they’re wireless earbuds.”

He opened the box and took the case out, flipping it in his hand to look at it in it’s entirety. You grabbed the manual and slid his phone over to you, turning on the bluetooth.

“Can you open the case?” you asked, not looking up from his phone. He did so, seeing the earbuds and a blinking green light. You tapped a few more things on the screen and the green light stopped blinking.

“Go ahead,” you said, nodding your head at him. He put in one earphone, then the other. You opened up Spotify, which you had downloaded on his phone for him to link to your account, and played a song from your ‘classics’ playlist. You could tell exactly when it started because Bucky’s eyes lit up and a huge smile started forming on his face.

“That sound quality is great!” He half shouted. You tried so hard not to laugh at the old man side of him. After listening for a few more seconds, he took one out of his ear and examined it.

“This is a great gift!” he said animatedly, pointing at the earbud in his other hand.

“I’m so glad you like it! I was thinking about the last time I sent you a recording of the concert, when you were on your last mission, and you said you didn’t have headphones.”

“That’s so thoughtful, thank you. But nothing will ever beat listening to you in person.”

The smile that he gave you as he said that made your face flush.

“I also have something for you,” he continued, fishing out a small box with a shiny gold bow from the pocket of his sweatpants. He held out the small maroon leather jewelry box for you to take. Looking at him curiously, you opened the box to see a set of dangling pearl earrings. The post of the earrings were reminiscent of French crest, the gold filigree encasing three tiny pearls. Hanging from each crest was a raindrop-shaped pearl.

“Oh my goodness, they’re beautiful, Buck.” You said as you laid out the earrings on your hand.

“Go try them on.”

He followed you to the bathroom where you put the earrings on and turned your head to admire them.

“These are beautiful.” You said as you turned to face him, linking your hands around his neck. “Thank you.”

“You look beautiful, and you’re welcome.” He smiled down at you, pulling you to his chest and resting his chin atop your head. “Anything for my best girl.”

Taking a deep breath, you smoothed out your sweater and walked back out to the living room where Bucky was letting AJ talk about all the different features of the toy dump truck he had gotten. You sat down next to Bucky and gave him a nervous smile. He smiled back and put a hand on your upper back, though it was quickly withdrawn when Sarah and Sam came in with drinks. You stood as you accepted one, looking at Bucky expectantly. Nodding slightly, he got up as well.

“Uhm, I have a small announcement to make.” You started nervously, your unoccupied hand tucking your hair behind your ear. The boys both stopped playing at your serious tone. Sarah tilted her head in confusion but Sam had a small smirk that was starting to grow.

“Bucky and I have started seeing each other.”

Sam’s smirk turned into a full fledged grin as he gave Bucky a hug.

“Congrats you guys. That’s amazing. I knew you two were great together.” He said as he moved to give you a hug as well. Sarah followed behind him, giving you an excited smile.

“What does that mean?” AJ asked, Cass answering him.

“It means that her and Uncle Buck are boyfriend and girlfriend, AJ.”

You laughed at the older one’s serious explanation.

“So does that mean they’re getting married and we should call her Auntie or Titi?” AJ continued.

You turned beet red, fanning your face as Bucky blinked, opening his mouth but not emitting any sound. Sam was laughing hysterically while Sarah tried to keep it together as she explained it to AJ.

“It means that they’re dating, so they like each other. No one’s getting married, at least not yet.” She said, turning back towards you and winking. You turned even redder, walking towards the kitchen while Bucky just grinned sheepishly as he scratched the back of his neck.

“I’m so ready for dinner. Is anyone else hungry?” You asked as you walked away.

Sam, now calmed down, smiled genuinely at Bucky, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m happy for you, bud. Are you happy?”

Bucky nodded, smile creeping onto his face.

“Very happy.”

“Good. You deserve it.”

---

That night, you settled into bed next to Bucky, propping your head up on your hand as you laid on your side facing him.

“How do you feel now that we’ve told everybody?” You asked, amused smile on your face.

“I feel great. Sam was so happy for us, and the boys were so funny about it.” Bucky answered, turning to mirror your position.

“Weren’t they? I felt like I was going to die of embarrassment when AJ asked if we were getting married.”

He laughed and you leaned forward, wrapping your arms around his waist, your ear pressing against his chest as you listened to his heart beat. He brought his right arm up, rubbing your upper back soothingly. Humming in content, you nuzzled your face into your chest, bidding him goodnight.

“Goodnight, doll.” Bucky answered back, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. Breaths slowly syncing, you drifted off to sleep together.

---

On New Year’s Day, you and Bucky were in the middle of making lunch. Breakfast had been slept through since you both had stayed up so late. Finally, you had triumphed over the man who always woke at 6AM. Alpine walked figure eights around your legs as you went around the kitchen. The last night had been spent in each other’s company, complete with champagne and a kiss to reign in the new year. You felt a flush come over your face as you remembered how his rough palm had slid up your leg and rested on your upper thigh. You had worn a sleek silky gold dress that showed a little more skin than you normally did. It was New Year’s Eve, you always dressed up. Bucky had offered to go change to match you, but you insisted he looked just as handsome in his dark-wash jeans and red Henley. You daydreamed about what might’ve happened had Alpine not jumped onto Bucky’s lap.

Your risqué thoughts were interrupted by the kettle whistling on the stove. Moving it off of the burner, you looked over at Bucky, who was looking incredibly domestic as he searched the fridge with his back to you. It has been a long time since you’ve felt anything akin to domestic bliss, yet it was hard to imagine anything else in its stead. Sitting on the barstool across the counter from him, you crossed you arms and leaned forward to catch his attention.

“Do you have any big plans for the New Year?”

Your question caught him off guard. He tilted his head to think, wiping his hands off on the dish towel hanging on the oven handle.

“Hm. I guess I hadn’t thought of it.” He leaned forward onto the counter, bearing weight against his forearms. “How about you?”

“I definitely want to spruce up the yard this upcoming Spring. You know, plant some flowers, make an outdoor seating area, maybe a pond?” Bucky nodded as you listed the various plans. You continued, voice growing softer. “I also want to finish physical therapy, to make this place into a home, to feel good about myself… Just really start getting my life on track. I’ve wasted so much of it already. Sometimes, I feel like I’m working so hard to swim to shore, but really I’ve just been treading water- moving nowhere. I want to be better, for me and for you.”

You looked down to the side wistfully, rubbing your arms as if to comfort yourself. Bucky reached out to put his hand over yours. He opened his mouth to say something, hesitating a moment to get his words straight.

“It’s frustrating when you don’t think you’re making progress. Everything you’ve been through feels like… yesterday and a lifetime ago, all at the same time. But progress doesn’t always look like what you think it looks like. Don’t sell yourself short. I think you’ve been doing a great job.”

He brought your hand up to his lips and pressed soft kisses against your knuckles. A shy smile came over your face as he pressed more kisses to your palm.

“Sam rubbing off on you, huh?” That earned you a quiet chuckle. “That does make me feel better… Thanks, Buck.”

“Of course. It’s the least I can do for you helping me with my one resolution for the new year.”

Your eyebrows lifted in curiosity. “Which is?”

“Spending more time with you.”

Your smile grew bigger and bigger before you leaned across the counter to kiss him. That was a goal you would happily help him reach.

---

Sam needed to go to Washington D.C. shortly after the new year started. He was needed for a fundraising event for a new children’s hospital. Being the new Captain America, he was in a position to really help out if he made an appearance, so he signed up for the 5k race and the gala that was taking place the next weekend. How much better would it be though, if he had his right-hand man beside him? So here he was, in your living room, sitting across from Bucky as he gave his best pitch.

“C’mon, Buck. It won’t be so bad. You can outrun them, so you can avoid talking to people. Then later, you just have to take one picture with me in a tux, eat all the fancy food you want, and then escape back to the hotel!”

“I told you, I’m not really one for those big events.” Bucky responded as you made your way back to the living room with several mugs of coffee.

“Oooh, what big events?” You asked, handing them their respective cups.

“I was just telling Bucky that he should come to the charity event in DC for the new St. Jude facility.”

“Oh, that sounds awesome! You have to go, Buck.” You chimed in excitedly, earning Sam a dirty look from Bucky.

Bucky slouched backwards into his seat. He really didn’t want to be apart from you, much less to be with a pack of sweaty people. It was hard enough to leave when it was absolutely necessary for Sam to have back-up. Now he was asking if he would do it recreationally? Not a chance.

“Could he bring a plus one? My holiday vacation extends through that weekend. I just need to be at rehearsal that Monday evening. Is that possible?” You faced Sam expectantly.

“We can definitely make that happen. The 5k is Saturday morning, and the gala is that night. You’ll have all of Sunday to travel back.”

It was Bucky’s turn to be looked at expectantly. Both you and Sam were staring at him with puppy eyes.

“Well, if you’re going, then it won’t be so bad.” He said, putting his arm around your shoulder. You and Sam cheered in victory, Bucky sneaking a glance at you as you celebrated. He couldn’t help but grin at the sight of you clasping your hands together out of excitement. Of course, he’d go if you did. Being without you was pretty much the only real reason he had to not go. After all, he has a New Year’s resolution to fulfill.

---

You checked into the hotel on Friday evening, Bucky easily carrying both his and your luggage. You passed by large glass chandeliers, luxurious seating areas, and a huge ballroom that would host the gala tomorrow night. It was the first time in a long time that you had attended any high visibility events like this, but theoretically, you were fine. The odds of running into any unwanted company were slim to none, especially because you weren’t even sure if said company was still in D.C. Besides, you couldn’t hide away forever.

Maybe you were just on edge because this was your first trip away together. While you did spend most nights together at the house, you always had the safety net of having separate places to retreat. After being confined for so long, it was difficult for you to do anything without having a way out, in case things got messy. It was less about how you felt with Bucky, and more about how you felt with yourself. You did feel better, however, whenever you met his gaze and he gave you that soft smile. So, you looked up at him as you waited side-by-side at the elevator, and sure enough, he gave you what you were looking for. Subconsciously, you let out a deep breath, relaxing your shoulders some.

“You alright?” He asked, noticing your uneasiness.

“Yeah, I’m just tired from the flight.” You smiled back at him. Before Bucky could inquire further, Sam jogged up to where you were waiting.

“Sorry about that, I was figuring out the route for tomorrow.” He said just as the elevator dinged.

“No problem! You guys have fun with that, I’ll be bundled up by the finish line.” You laughed as you stepped into the elevator, pushing the 7th floor button.

“You’re not running?” Bucky questioned, raising one eyebrow out of curiosity.

“I’d much rather not. There’s a reason why I’m a musician and not an Olympic athlete. I’ll just be cheering you on from the sides.”

You nudged Bucky’s arm with yours as the elevator doors closed. Sam glanced behind him as you two grinned at each other in your own little world. A small smile formed on his face as he shifted his eyes back forward. He couldn’t remember the last time that either of you looked this happy. It had been a long time coming, but so worth it.

The elevator dinged as it opened to your floor. Above the floral arrangement that was sitting on top of a polished wooden console table, was a sign that indicated which room numbers were to the left and the right of the hall.

“We’re room 711.” Bucky read off of the keycard. That meant you were going to the left.

“I’m in room 730 so I’m going this way. I’ll see you guys bright and early?” Sam asked, walking backwards towards his room as he pointed to you.

“Yup!” you replied.

“Yeah, see you then.” Bucky said as you both turned to walk towards your room.

Inserting the keycard, you opened the door to your suite and he followed behind, dropping the bags next to the bed. The room was definitely on the larger side, with the whole wall facing the city being glass. You walked over and pushed the floor length curtains to the side. Bucky pulled off his jacket and hung it on the coat rack before walking over to you.

“The view is amazing.” You admired, still in your coat and clasping your leather-gloved hands together. The different lights of the city gleamed like precious gemstones in the dark winter night. When you could finally tear your gaze from the window, you grabbed Bucky’s arm and looked up at him.

“What?” He questioned with a smile on his face.

“Nothing. It’s just exciting traveling with you.”

You tugged on his arm lightly to get him to lean down and kiss you. He gave you a teasing look but gave in regardless. Afterwards, you slipped off your gloves and started to shrug off your coat. Bucky quickly moved so that he was behind you and took hold of it so that he could hang it up for you. It’s little things like that, that show how soft and polite he was on the inside despite the gruff exterior he put on the outside for everyone else. He was always so gentle too. Between the door-openings, the coat takings, and the soft kisses he liked to press onto your hand, it could almost make you cry. Feeling the heat rise in your face from your overwhelming emotions, you cleared your throat and took a deep breath.

“Buck, I’m going to take a shower, do you need anything?” He hung your coat up and came back over to you, putting his hands on your waist.

“I’m okay. Enjoy your shower.” He said, pressing a kiss to your cheek before picking the remote off of the table and turning the television on. Upon entering the bathroom, you shut the door with a soft click. You started running the water and glanced at your complexion before stripping down and stepping into the steaming water. It felt wonderful to wash the airport germs off. You opened the packaging of the complimentary soaps and shampoos, relaxing at the smells of lavender and green tea.

The shower did wonders calming you down. Giving yourself a few more seconds under the hot water, you closed your eyes to appreciate how much nicer it was to stay at a hotel for recreation instead of escape. You cut off the water and rung your hair out, stepping onto the cushiony bath mat. It was then that you realized you hadn’t brought any clothes in with you. You cursed in your head as you wrapped on of the towels around you. You could ask him to bring the suitcase or pick out the clothes but you bit your lip as you made your mind up. Securing the towel around you, you cracked the door to the bathroom open. Now or never.

“Bucky, I just forgot to grab clothes, sorry.”

Bucky had been reclined back on the bed, one arm propping his head up so that he could see the TV. At the sound of your voice, he turned his head towards the bathroom and saw your reflection on the mirror across from it. His eyes followed your reflection until you yourself actually came into view. He swallowed hard as you walked past to the far side of the bed. Your eyes stayed trained on the floor, but the blush across your cheeks gave you away. You crouched over your suitcase to fish out some clothes, using a burst of courage to look up at Bucky. He had turned his head towards you, eyes shifting downwards to watch the droplets of water travel down from your wet hair onto your collarbone, then follow the curve towards the valley of your chest before it disappeared into the towel. Bucky coughed and then quickly shifted his eyes forward, apologizing as the red crept up his neck to his ears.

“Sorry…”

“Don't be.” You said quickly to put him at ease. Gathering the clothes in your arms, you got up to go back to the bathroom when he gripped your forearm. Your head snapped towards him and you stared at each other, the air seemingly growing thick in the room. Bucky opened his mouth to say something, glancing down your body once more before letting go.

“Sorry, I’ll let you get dressed.” He said sheepishly, bringing a hand the back of his neck as he looked downwards.

“Do you want to…?”

He looked up as you let the sentence dangle in the air. He wanted to say yes, but he couldn’t find the voice to say it. The notion of being together physically was still foreign to him and he was… insecure about his body. How attractive could it be to have all that scarring right at your eye line? And it wasn’t like he didn’t want to be with you that way, it was just daunting to leave himself completely vulnerable to someone when he had never been seen in that light before. The anxiety started to close in on him. Noticing his discomfort, you bent over slightly to meet his eye.

“Hey, there’s no pressure. Let’s give it some more time, Buck. There’s no rush.” You reassured him as you cupped his cheek with one hand, holding the towel to your chest with the other.

“I know. I’m sorry. I really want to. I’m just… nervous.”

“Hey, that’s okay. That’s totally fine. Here, let me get changed and then we can cuddle. Besides, we have an early morning tomorrow.”

Bucky agreed with you, giving you a weak smile. You smiled back at him and walked to the bathroom, getting dressed in your sleep shorts and t-shirt. After drying your hair, you walked back out to find the TV off and Bucky dressed in his usual shirt and boxers. He was half under the covers, avoiding your eye as he scrolled on his phone. Sliding into bed next to him, you gently took his phone from his grasp and leaned over to set it on his nightstand. Then you leaned over his face, cupping his cheek again.

“Are you alright?” you asked.

“Yeah. I am. Sorry about all that.”

“Don’t be sorry. I should’ve just asked you to bring my bag.”

“There was definitely nothing wrong with that. You’re just so attractive, it’s hard for me to not react.”

Your cheeks grew flushed as you smiled at him.

“I mean it.” Bucky said, now sitting up, causing you to lean back. He slowly leaned towards you until you were switched positions- you on your back and him leaning overtop of you. Your breath got caught in your throat as he leaned down to kiss you. The kisses were hungry, passionate, slowly growing deeper. Then, as you moved your arm to put around his neck, it brushed the length that was straining against his boxers. He let out a small groan into your mouth and you both opened your eyes in surprise, him pulling away. His words were breathy as he spoke first.

“I’m having a trouble… keeping it down. I’m sorry to make you uncomfortable.”

You sat up. “Bucky, are you kidding? We’re kissing. In bed. I’m kind of surprised I haven’t felt you get hard before.”

He blinked, the flush growing even warmer on his face. You were still slightly catching your breath as your expression softened. You gently put your hand over his, scooting closer to him. Your tone was gentler this time.

“Do you want help with it?” You nodded your head downwards. “I can touch it for you.”

Okay, Bucky didn’t think he could get any redder but he definitely just did.

“I’m… a little embarrassed.” He trailed off. You could definitely understand him being shy. You had been like that when you were still new to physically showing love. Thinking back, you remembered one thing that helped.

“How about I turn off the lights? Do you think it’d be okay then?”

There was a long pause before he answered quietly.

“Yeah.”

You gave him a reassuring smile before leaning over to your nightstand and turning off your light. Then you laid to face him as he turned his off. Now completely dark, you reached out until you felt his chest, coming closer until you were in his arms. Your hands slid upwards to cup his face, letting you know where to lean in to kiss him. You kissed for quite some time, sucking on his lower lip as your hands eventually slid to his chest. When he seemed to relax into that, you brought your hand lower until it brushed over the front of his boxers. It caused him to tense again, so you asked once more.

“Can I?”

You felt his chest rise and fall deeply before he whispered.

“Yeah.”

---

Bucky felt the cold morning air come into his lungs as he took a controlled breath in. His grey hoodie was almost too warm to run in, even though it was the heart of winter. At the beginning of the 5k, he had kept the same pace with Sam. He had no interest in being the first to the finish line. It wouldn’t be fair to everyone else. It had been going swimmingly until Sam started poking his nose where it didn’t belong.

Sam had noticed that something was different at breakfast. While they ate a light meal in preparation for the race, you had sipped on coffee as you talked animatedly about the different charities you had associated yourself with. Sam had been listening intently when he noticed how Bucky’s eyes kept shifting back and forth between the bagel on his plate and you. Sitting next to him, you hadn’t noticed. Being the astute observer that he was, Sam had watched as Bucky nervously chuckled when you turned to him for a response. You had made eye contact with Bucky and your complexions had grown flushed. To ease the awkward nervousness, you had quickly turned to Sam. He had squinted his eyes momentarily as he tried to figure out why Bucky was acting so strange, though he shoved the thoughts to the back of his mind for later.

Later turned out to be a couple of hours after breakfast, in the first half of the race. You could tell Bucky was antsy from the crowd, so you settled on just squeezing his hands encouragingly before wishing him luck. Then, they were off. After outrunning the crowd and cameras, Sam and Bucky were now in a much more private setting- not quite jogging close enough to anybody else to make conversation.

“So,” Sam started, taking advantage of the seclusion, “How’re things going with her?”

“Good.” Bucky answered simply, sensing that there may be more follow up questions.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. She’s great. We’re doing great.”

Sam slowed his pace slightly so he could catch his breath. “Just wanted to make sure. You seemed a little off at breakfast. Did something happen?”

Bucky swallowed and couldn’t hide the flush of red creeping up his neck as he remembered the previous night. It hadn’t taken him long to finish. Nobody had ever touched him intimately, and even if they had, it had been a long time since. You were more than happy with the extent of the physicality last night, all too satisfied to let him ride out his high, spilling into your hand with his face buried into the crook of your neck. But Bucky couldn’t stop the overthinking. The hesitancy, along with the telltale signs of embarrassment, gave Sam an inkling what it might be about.

“Oh, I take it something did happen.”

Bucky was not at all thrilled about Sam’s avid interest in the subject.

“Like I said, things are going well. But sometimes I get so wrapped up in my head about stuff.” Bucky said, moving past that subject. “It’s going a lot faster than I thought it was going to. Things were a lot… slower in the 40’s. And now that Steve’s gone, she’s one of the few people I have to lose, except she’s not a super soldier and she doesn’t have a powered-up suit to protect her.”

They jogged in silence for a moment.

“Honestly, it’s terrifying. Sometimes, I feel like I should’ve never started this because if something happened, I don’t know what I’d do.”

“You know, if she was here right now, she’d probably smack you upside your head.”

Bucky gave Sam a look that could’ve withered a plant, but Sam just chuckled at him.

“Listen, what you’re feeling is normal, with anything there’s a risk. You’ve literally risked your life, for your entire life. Why?”

“Well, because it was the right thing to do.”

“Right. You always do the right thing because doing the right thing makes you feel good and gives you a sense of fulfillment. She also gives you positive emotions, but you’ve come up with a hundred reasons why not to be with her. Yes, you don’t want anything to happen to her, but you’re also hesitant because you don’t want something to happen to yourself. You’re afraid of getting hurt. We all are, that doesn’t make you weak. But missing out on what is potentially the best thing that ever happened to you, solely because you were afraid, makes you a coward.”

Bucky made another face but it was one more of resignation, regardless of how much disdain for Sam he had at the moment. He was telling the truth. If he stopped the relationship because of the potential outcome, he would be a coward for doing so. Whether he lost you emotionally from it not working out, or physically because of any potential enemies, if he were to stop now, he’d be a coward.

“Think about how much she’s putting on the line. She’s smart, Buck. She knows what she’s getting into and she knows the risk. But being with you is worth more to her than the potential risk. I think you feel the same way about her. If you feel anxious about it, talk to her. I’m sure she’ll reassure you. I will also reassure you if you ask me, but I’m sure you’d much rather talk to her.” Sam chuckled. “Sorry for being harsh, man. But, I think you needed to hear it.”

“I did… Thanks, Sam. You’re a good friend.” Bucky said, looking towards Sam

“Anytime.”

They jogged comfortably at their slower pace, letting a few joggers say hello and pass them. Once they were out of earshot, Sam got his classic mischievous grin and wiggled his eyebrows.

“So, what happened between you two last night? Or is it too Rated-R to say out loud? Just asking, because your skin is, like, glowing. You look refreshed and ready to go.”

Bucky threw his head back and let out a frustrated grunt before picking up the pace and sprinting to put distance between him and Sam.

“Hey. Hey!” Sam yelled as Bucky got farther and farther away, despite his best efforts to catch up to him. Once Sam was just a speck on the trail behind him, he relaxed into a more sustainable pace. He caught his breath and looked back, laughing at the image of a far-away Sam, shaking his fist at Bucky.

As much as he and Sam joked back and forth, he was thankful to have good friends. It’s definitely helped him feel better about missing Steve. Steve was afraid that if anything ever happened to himself, that Bucky would be left in the lurch. What really helped him at the time, was knowing that Sam would be there. So, when he had brought the idea up to Bucky, he mentioned that Sam was a good man, and that he would help Bucky a lot, but if Bucky needed him, then he’d stay. Bucky knew from the bottom of his heart that if he said that he didn’t want Steve to leave, Steve would’ve stayed and not resented him one bit. But Bucky would’ve had to live with that on his conscience for the rest of his life. So, he gave Steve a pat on the back and told him to go, and that he’d be fine with Sam. He deserved to be happy. Bucky, however, did not.

And so, he damned himself to a life of continued torture and solitude. He ignored all of Sam’s texts and calls. He punished himself by going to lunch with the dad of a victim who was plagued by his son’s mysterious death- a son that was made a victim at Bucky’s hands. It took such a shock as a new replacement “Steve” to break the cycle. Then, it was just pure anger. It was anger at the world for doing Steve wrong, anger at the world for doing Sam wrong, anger at John Wyatt for besmirching the mantle that his best friend worked so hard to establish. It was anger at himself for being slow on making amends, anger at himself for still waking up shaken from the nightmares that haunted him. It was anger at himself for telling Steve that he would be just fine if he left.

At the time, it was a bold-faced lie. Though, overtime it did end up being the truth. He helped the real Captain America take back the shield, and in the process, he saved people who had actually thanked him for it, as if it wasn’t what he was longing to do in the first place. He finally finished making his amends, giving peace to a number of families and himself. He even allowed himself to have a little bit of happiness by believing, even if just for a moment, that he belonged in the community that accepted him so easily in Louisiana. And now, he had you too. Beautiful, talented, kind you. You, who had embraced him with unabashed love. You, who wasn’t ashamed of who he was.

Steve would’ve loved you.

Bucky hadn’t noticed the tears until one slipped onto his cheek, accentuating the cold. Somehow, though, this cold served to remind him that he was indeed alive. Despite all odds, he was here. What a fool he was to think that he would have been protecting you by staying distant. Bucky coughed and then sniffed, shaking his head before quickly wiping his cheek. Determined to see you, he ran at a steady pace until he saw you waving and cheering him on by the finish line. You were against the barrier about ten yards from the end of the race, slightly separated from the other crowds of people. Ignoring the finish line, he ran straight to you and gripped you by the shoulders.

“Buck, what’re you-”

He kissed you openly, surprising both you and the racers who gawked as they jogged past the scene to the finish line. You eventually pulled apart and looked at him with an incredulous giddy expression on your face, accented by your fingers gently touching your lips as if you didn’t believe what just happened.

“I love you.”

You blinked several times to process it before bursting into a grin that couldn’t get any bigger. Breathlessly, you responded.

“I love you too.”

---

The gala was a huge success. They announced during the introductions that they had met their fundraising goal, which was greeted by a tremendous amount of applause. They spotlighted Sam, and subsequently you and Bucky, as they thanked Captain America and his right hand man for their support. After you had finished dinner, they whisked them both away for publicity. You felt a little bad as you watched Sam and Bucky get assaulted by camera flashes as every bigwig who donated towards the cause insisted on taking a picture with Captain America. Fortunately, you were watching from the comfort of your own seat, nursing a glass of wine while trying not to stain the glass with your lipstick.

You then turned your head to watch the dance floor where a lot of the party was congregated, dancing in pairs to a waltz. Normally, events like these started off as a classical ball and ended in an atmosphere more like a nightclub after the older sponsors went home. You did love dancing, to either kind of music, but you weren’t sure if Bucky was the dancing type. Still, you wished that you could have at least one dance with him before it got too late. It was then that you heard someone call your name. Not Irina, but your name. You turned your head warily towards the voice.

“Hey! I thought that was you!”

“Oh my god Dev, you startled me!” You said in relief, standing up to give your friend a hug. He hugged you and then sat in Bucky’s unoccupied seat.

“I haven’t seen you in so long! You kind of disappeared off of everyone’s radar.”

You couldn’t miss the glance he took at your shoulder. The dress you were wearing, one of your favorites for the wintertime, had a flowing tulle champagne skirt that had gold floral accents. But from the waist up, it was a velvet red fluttered off-shoulder top with thin supporting straps that perfectly framed the scarring. You hadn’t really been planning on seeing anyone you knew so you hadn’t bothered covering up your shoulder.

“Yeah, I’ve been trying to keep a semi-low profile.”

“Well, whatever you’ve been doing has been working. You worried a lot of us. If it weren’t for Jules letting us know you were still alive, we would’ve called in a missing person’s report.”

You looked down sheepishly, embarrassed but happy that after all this time, your friends still remembered and cared about you. You tucked your hair behind your ear and fidgeted with one of the pearls on the earrings that Bucky had gotten for you.

“Yeah, I’m so excited for her wedding, you know she made me a bridesmaid?”

Unaware of your skillful redirection of the conversation, he replied excitedly.

“I’ll be there too! Super happy for her. Her and Raul have been dating forever. It’s about time they get hitched.”

“Agreed. Speaking of, how’re you doing these days? Any lucky ladies in your life?” You leaned back in your chair and resumed your glass of wine.

“No ladies, but I did just get my big break.” He said with a wide secretive smile.

“Really?” You perked up. He leaned in as if he was going to tell you something confidential so you mirrored the movement. In a low tone, he explained.

“I just got hired to compose the musical score for a Netflix series. I’ve been working on it for months, and now we’re recording in three weeks at a studio in New York!”

“Dev!” you exclaimed loudly, “That is absolutely amazing! I’m so happy for you! You’re going to be the next John Williams, I just know it.”

He gave you a big smile. Across the room, Bucky was looking in your direction, attention caught by your excitement.

“Who’s that?” He asked Sam discreetly between pictures.

“I don’t know. Maybe a fan?”

Bucky’s eyes lingered in your direction until the photographer called his attention.

“You know,” Dev started, “We’re still in the selection process for the piano player since we were torn between two options, but you blow them both out of the water.”

“Wow, that sounds amazing. I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes though.”

“Nonsense. I’m the composer so I get to choose my orchestra! And you’ll love the series. It’s about an orphan in the 1960’s who’s a chess prodigy. She destroys different chess tournaments and battles addiction. She ends up playing the best of the best in Russia by the end of it. It’s called Queen’s Gambit- based on a book with the same name. Who better to have recording for Queen’s Gambit than the Reigning Queen of Russian Classics? You can come see Jules too. The studio’s not far from her place.”

The offer was extremely tempting, but you weren’t sure how ready you were to throw caution to the wind. He must’ve caught onto your hesitation, so he gave another pitch to you.

“I know you’ve been out of the limelight for a long time, but this is your chance to bring your name back into the mix. And the series won’t be released until later this year so no one will know you’re in New York if that’s what you’re worried about. Not until long after you’ve finished recording.”

You bit your lip. You’re resolve was crumbling.

“How long is recording?” You asked tentatively.

“Our target is three studio days, but we booked four just in case- Monday through Thursday. Is that okay?”

“Well… I’m performing right now under a stage name with an orchestra. But the rehearsals have been going really well since we’ve been playing together all season. I could give them a recording of me playing the pieces for that week that they could practice to. Before I get ahead of myself though, can I just ask one thing?”

“You can have whatever you want.” You cracked a smile at that.

“Can you keep it a secret that I’m going to be there? You can use my name in the credits but I don’t really want any media coverage while I’m in New York.”

“Absolutely. Done.”

It was hard not to feel absolutely giddy. If it were someone you didn’t really know, you wouldn’t do it, but you trusted Dev to abide by your wishes.

“Well, I’ll email the orchestra head and if he says yes, then I’m in.”

Dev cheered, causing several heads to turn towards him. You could barely hold your laughter as he quickly apologized to those around him. When you both settled, the lights started to dim slightly, and the music switched from instrumental to lyrical. You and Dev looked out to the dance floor. Still slower paced, but modern, perfect for slow dancing to.

“Care to dance?”

Your head snapped towards Dev who was holding out his hand.

“I think that I might be ahead of you in line, pal.”

Bucky placed a hand on the back of the chair you were sitting in. Happy that he was back, you set one of your hands over his and looked up at him.

“All done with the paparazzi?” You joked with a big smile on your face that reassured Bucky.

“Yeah, finally. Who’s this?” He nodded his head towards the man sitting in his seat.

“This is Dev Addison, a friend of mine from Julliard.”

Bucky extended his hand in greeting, Dev standing up to shake his hand.

“Dev, this is Sergeant Barnes.”

He looked to you and then back to Bucky incredulously.

“Wow, it’s nice to meet you. Thanks for always keeping us safe.”

“I’m happy to it.” He responded as you got up as well.

“Well,” you started, straightening out your skirt. “I think I’ll have to ask for a rain check, Dev. I’ve been waiting all night for them to be done with him.” You said with a grin as you looked up at Bucky, him reciprocating.

An amused smile came upon Dev’s face as he saw the look between you two. You looked happy. After so long, it was good to know that you were at least okay.

“No problem,” he said good-naturedly. “Let me know ASAP when the orchestra head replies!”

“Will do!”

You both waved goodbye and you started walking hand in hand with Bucky to the area where people were dancing. You put one hand in his and the other on his shoulder as he put his other on your waist, tentatively swaying to the music together.

“So, Dev offered me a job. It’s a four day contract to record music that he composed for a television series. It’s going to be at a studio in New York at the end of February.”

“Wow,” Bucky said with raised eyebrows. “That’s exciting. Are you going to take it?”

“I think so.” You said slowly but firmly. “I just have to wait for the orchestra to approve it.”

“That’s great.” Bucky said encouragingly, noticing a different emotion mixed in with your excitement. “What’s wrong?”

“I just haven’t been to New York in a while. It just makes me feel a little nervous about getting back out into the world. I know you know how that feels, on a much bigger scale. But another part of me is excited to get back into big projects like these.”

Bucky nodded his head in agreement. “But I think if you want to, then there’s no harm. It’s only a few days and it’s just for recording. You could stay at a hotel so you could have some space if you don’t want to stay with your friends.”

You looked like you were thinking, so he didn’t say anything else. Instead, you danced together closely as you listened to the lyrics of the song.

And you say that you’re not worth it

You get hung up on your flaws

Well, in my eyes you are perfect

As you are

“John Legend, I think.” You said quietly as rested your cheek against his shoulder. Bucky hummed in response, touching his lips to your forehead.

I will never try to change you

I will always want the same you

Swear on everything I pray to

That I won’t break your heart

Bucky glanced down at the necklace that rested perfectly in the space between your collarbones, the one that you had fixed with the brooch he gave you. The emerald was now fitted in gold plating, set between two delicate pearls. It matched the earrings he had given you perfectly. You could’ve worn or bought plenty of other jewelry, but you continually wear these because they make you happy and they show off to the world that he favored you.

I’ll be there when you get lonely

Keep the secrets that you told me

And your love is all you owe me

And I won’t break your heart

“If I go to New York, will you come with me?” You looked up at him with an endearing look, the dim chandelier leaving a residual glimmer in your eyes.

“Of course, I will.” He said softly, giving you a classic Bucky smile. You laughed as he twirled you once before dipping you. He held you like you weighed nothing, pressing his lips against your cheek as you giggled.

“I love you.” You said, a dreamy look on your face. A huge smile spread over Bucky’s face, and he reciprocated while gazing at you from under hooded eyelids.

“I love you too.”

#bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky imagine #bucky x y/n #bucky x you #soundcloud

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earthstellar · 3 years

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TFP Megatronus x Orion Pax Experimental Concept Playlist: The Timescale of Cybertronian Lives + Music from 1890 - 2021

I know there are tons of playlists for these characters out there, but I’m trying to do something a little less conventional with this one; Please hear me out!

Two Playlists in One: Love Throughout The Ages

The first half of this playlist is almost all new music mixed in with some hits from the 60s, 70s, 80s, etc. to give variety, plus tracks from different genres so that hopefully everyone has a song they can enjoy in there somewhere.

For the second half of the playlist, I wanted to emphasise the idea of how long the war on Cybertron has been going on for, and just how old this conflict and the people involved actually are.

Cybertronian Timescale: Long Lives and The Perception of Time

We think of the Orion Pax / Megatronus stage of their relationship as being relatively brief, which it was in comparison to how long the war has been going on for as of TFP, but these are people who live for centuries. The scope of that is staggering.

Optimus Prime and Megatron have known each other personally (either positively or negatively) for longer than modern human civilisation has existed.

So to me, the best way to touch on that idea of time, musically, is to have the first half of the playlist be modern music, remixes, etc. and then the second half is well known and lesser known hits throughout early radio/TV (with many tracks on this playlist pre-dating those forms of media as well).

What’s on the Playlist, Then?

My grandmother was born in 1914, and her music collection spans nearly 100 years. It’s all good stuff.

I have included some of her favourites, which she always called her “sweetheart jingles”, on this soundtrack. I think many of them work surprisingly well for the Megatronus/Orion Pax relationship.

Many of these songs will probably be unknown by the vast majority of people who might want to listen to this playlist, which is also appealing to me. (I hope if this is your first time hearing some of these, that you enjoy a few of them!)

My parents were born in 1944, and I remember all of the classics they would play; Some of those tracks will be more recognisable as this was the era when radio and TV became far more common and accessible, but I picked the tracks that I think best apply to the pairing and the relationship between the two characters at that point in their lives.

The link to the playlist is below after some notes on Cybertronian language evolution!

Quick Thought: Cybertronian Language Over Time and Era Specific Speech Patterns

While thinking about my grandmother’s music collection as I assembled this playlist, I thought about some of the words and phrases she used commonly that are now totally non-existent in modern conversational English.

She had what would probably sound to most people like “1930s radio voice” or a more Trans-Atlantic Accent way of speaking; She grew up in the Northeast USA and so she had a very distinctive way of stressing the vowels in words. It’s not just the words themselves, or how they were pronounced, but the tone and pace of speech was also very different.

This got me thinking about Cybertronians, age, and speech:

Bots as old as Ratchet may have grown up with a totally different spoken language version of Cybertronian, and we already know that there are regional dialects, multiple written forms (glyphs), and era-specific types of Cybertronian language.

But the way they speak, as I mentioned above with the stressing of vowels and the tone and pace of speech, might still be different due to the different eras, even after language packs/programs are downloaded and updated periodically as needed. We already know Cybertronians have regional accents, so it stands that generational accents would also possibly exist as well.

Such a difference in speech patterns could possibly be used as a primary indicator of relative age on Cybertron, as physically they don’t age in the sense human beings do.

Back to the Playlist: Link + Track List + Notes on Audio Prior to 1930

The playlist is here on YouTube.

Scroll down to get to the second half (oldies section) if that’s what you’re here for!

Please note that the songs are not arranged in any particular order aside from the first half being newer music and the second half being far older music.

Also note, where original recordings are available on YouTube for some of the older songs, I have used those original recording versions.

However, keep in mind that there may be a couple seconds of “fuzz” at the top (start) of those older tracks, because they have been recorded from records or wax cylinders, which are formats of music that typically had a “pause” on the track to allow for needle and speed calibration when playing them manually. Modern records don’t do this in quite the same way and nobody uses wax cylinders anymore, but older records typically did. If this bothers you, skip ahead about two seconds or so, and it will resolve.

Tempo may seem slightly “fast” on two of the tracks due to difficulties with the medium and modern recording tech/methods, and one track has some persistent “fuzz” throughout due to the original recording being rare and therefore it is a “best copy available” type archival recording, but otherwise I’ve managed to find the clearest audio possible for the vast majority of the older songs!

(Fun music note, the “click track” in modern digital music was partially inspired by the clicking of the needle hitting the “countdown grooves” on old cylinders and records, which creates an audible mild clicking sound as the needle finds the groove and provides time for usually a half rotation or full rotation of the record before the track actually begins to allow for adjustment before the music starts! If the clicking is too fast, dial down the rotation speed, for example.

This itself was inspired by classical metronomes as well as the actual physical method of playing the music in this way, but it’s cool to see how this persists throughout musical history even now when we don’t need the click for digital production for quite the same reasons/applications. It’s all about timing, no matter the medium or era!)

Due to the method of how some player piano rolls were credited, often by roll company and not by individuals, the actual artist name is often not available for those tracks. Where possible and where known, I have included credits to the artists/musicians. I have done my best to research and find the artists in these recordings.

I have also included orchestrions and other “automated” music in addition to a player piano track as I think it’s interesting; These are often very old compositions being played on these machines, and as such are designed to reflect the earliest days of their relationship.

Songs range from the years 1890 to 2021, and I will add more as I manage to find YouTube videos with some of the older songs I’m still looking for.

By the way, if you need a love song for like an actual partner or crush that you have, I’m just going to say it now and point out that a lot of these classics are great to use in real life for cute purposes. My partner of ten years agrees, and my grandparents were married for over 60 years and sang many of these daily, so obviously something here works well. You’re welcome. ;)

Below the cut is a track list of the second half of the playlist, as it’s 7 AM and I’d like to emphasise the “classics” section here as it’s the central theme of the concept.

I will add to this list as more tracks are added:

You’re the Top - Cole Porter

What is this Thing Called Love - Leslie Hutchinson

I Get a Kick Outta You - Cole Porter

Puttin on the Ritz - Phil Spitalny Orchestra

What a Day - Carl Fenton

Come Fly With Me - Frank Sinatra

Earth Angel - The Penguins

Ring a Ding Ding - Frank Sinatra

In my Merry Oldsmobile - Billy Murray

Singin in the Rain - Gene Kelly

Dream a Little Dream of Me - Doris Day

Unforgettable - Nat King Cole

Can’t Help Falling in Love - Elvis Presley

Good Golly Miss Molly - Little Richard

Bei Mir Bist du Schoen - The Andews Sisters

Shine on Harvest Moon - Ruth Etting

1920s Dance Sequence from Don’t Knock the Rock

In the Mood -Glen Miller Orchestra

Dream Lover - Bobby Darin

When the Ragtime Army Goes Away to War (Artist Unknown)

After You’ve Gone - J. Lawrence Cook

My Sin (Artist Unknown)

Flick Flack by Albert Vossen (Unsure; Song + Artist Unknown; Orchestrion)

Lotosblumen Walzer by E. Ohlsen (Hupfeld Violina)

Waltz no.2 - Dmitri Shostakovich

Jupiter - Gustav Holst

Love Potion no. 9 - The Clovers (Please note, this song mentions the word “g*psy” once in the beginning of the track. Skip this song if you would prefer not to hear it; I have done my best to only include songs that are friendly to the modern listener, but where needed I will make annotations such as this one to ensure nobody has to hear anything potentially offensive, as is unfortunately often the case with older music/lyrics.)

Come a Little Bit Closer - Jay and the Americans

Sh-Boom - The Crew Cuts

Oh Boy - Buddy Holly

#long post #playlist #megop #megops #cybertronian culture #transformers #transformers prime #tfp #maccadam #maccadams #megatron #optimus prime #orion pax #music #concept playlist #megatronus

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theres-no-protocol-for-this · 3 years

Text

ART

The last chapter of the story. After this would be Confidential Information, which I realize doesn’t 100% fit anymore, but I did my best.

My computational power is astounding; my human crew and the researches back at the university have barely scratched the surface of what I can do. I know who is responsible for taking my friend, and I will make them pay.

Several things happen simultaneously, which would be confusing for a human but is completely normal for me. We enter the wormhole, and Kaede sends over the data files she managed to download before we left the repair facility station. Everyone looks through them, me included, while I navigate us to the closest exit.

I get to the good parts first. “They” are the SecUnit’s manufacturing company, and they have been tracking it for some time. So, it’s our fault that they have it. We exposed too much information when we made a seemingly innocent request for repairs.

The company wanted to study a rogue construct in a controlled environment, and now they have SecUnit. And it can’t give them what they want.

Not for long because now we have a plan, and ours is better.

Humans and constructs secrete chemical that make them afraid. I don’t. But despite that, I know what terror looks like, and for me it comes with permutations, with possibilities and probabilities. A hundred simulated scenarios play themselves out in my processors, and they all begin with a simple premise.

SecUnit belongs with my crew and with its clients on Preservation and else where. The company (and I refuse to call it anything else because SecUnit wouldn’t approve) will pay for this. The only question is how quickly.

I falsify all kinds of data while my humans reprogram a few of my repair drones into malicious little monsters that will attack the feed. I also calculate fuel consumption, remind my crew to eat and sleep, and look through navigational charts to determine the fastest means of reaching our next destination.

By the time we return to transit space, nearly a hundred hours have passed. From the bridge, Seth speaks up. “Are you ready?”

Always, I reply.

I’m angry at the ones responsible. SecUnit would call this kind of anger cold — but then again, it taught me about anger in the first place. It shared its experiences and reactions with me. And right now, I’m thankful for these feelings because they make everything so simple. The university will balk when we visit next; this is probably not what they intended when they started the AI program.

Our engines have been calibrated. Everyone should strap in when we get close.

“We get one shot at this,” Martin reminds the rest of the crew, most of whom are seated in the crew lounge and eating dinner.

We’re in transit for just over twenty hours. My humans sleep, and discuss, and worry. I calculate.

Three. Two. One. Zero.

We exit the wormhole back in the same system we left 121 hours ago. The company’s warship isn’t here anymore, but why would it be? It chased us away, and it had no reason to stay behind after that. But they will call for it again once they realize we’re back, so our time is limited.

Right now, they don’t know we’re here because I’ve made sure of that. As far as the station is concerned, we’re a completely different ship, one with a contract in the sector that has nothing to do with the company. I didn’t know if I could spoof my signature well enough to pass. Now, I know.

When no alarms go off, I take the next step and request permission to dock.

Human-centric systems run mindbogglingly slow, so it takes a while for them to answer. As soon as the station’s feed becomes available, I hack into the repair facility’s HubSystem. Against me, it stands no chance now that it’s not on high alert, and I don’t give it time to change its mind. SecUnit would be gentle — I am not.

“Remember our mission,” Martyn reminds me. “We rescue SecUnit and get out. That’s all.”

If they have harmed SecUnit, I will not hesitate to deploy pathfinders to make sure they never get a chance to try again.

Martyn chuckles as if I’m joking. I’m not.

Next up, a little subterfuge on the part of the humans. We dock, I shake hands with Port Authority, and my crew heads out into the station. I scour the feed and begin working through the repair facility’s other systems — one at a time — until they all think I’m the one giving orders. I catch whispers of systems that I can’t reach, the ones we wanted to infiltrate, but I don’t care at the moment.

I’m also monitoring my crew’s vital signs as they setup the modified drones in several inconspicuous places near the facility. We are going to need them for the next step. And, I’m listening to comms traffic in case anyone notices that we’re not who we say we are.

Station security has rescinded all of the alerts associated with me. They really don’t expect us here. They don’t see SecUnit as a person and so don’t expect anyone to mount a rescue. It’s time to demonstrate the error in their thinking. Seth and Martyn helped me see my errors when Iris and I were young. This will not be the same.

Then I find SecUnit, and…

If I had a heart, it would be breaking right now.

It’s along in a tiny cubicle, immobilized and rendered silent, aware but not entirely away. The humans have restrained it not only with its governor but also chemical means. Its file is within easy reach, and inside I find cycles of pain and fear unlike anything I have ever witnessed, recorded in minute detail for further study. It has survived, and perhaps that will be have to be enough.

It still has my transmitter, which the company never found. They have hurt my friend, many times, and now my anger is no longer cold and distant. I will make them hurt, starting with Maxime Deneault, who authorized the procedures and signed off on the pain. And then on up.

But first, I reconnect my friend to the feed. SecUnit? I ping its hardware address.

ART? It sounds hesitant, disbelieving.

I’m so elated I play the opening theme to Sanctuary Moon.

Asshole. It sounds relieved. Fucking hell, ART.

Its governor tries to punish it for the unprofessional attitude. SecUnit stiffens from the pain but can’t move enough to relieve any of the discomfort.

I’m getting you out of there. We have a diversion ready as soon as you’re up and moving.

Wait, it tells me. You need those files, right? Seth does, to implicate the colony leaders? Get them.

I’m here for you, idiot.

I know that. But this way, it won’t all be a waste. Ten minutes aren’t going to change the outcome.

A technician walks into SecUnit’s prison of a cubicle and tells it to follow him. They head down a hall into a research lab. I watch through the cameras and make plans, examine schematics.

No, I say.

SecUnit sends me some sigil equivalent of a middle finger, and the governor doesn’t like that, either. At least its attitude hasn’t changed. I don’t know if it has all of its memories, but it appears to have enough. Do what you came to do. And then, get me the hell out of here.

I want to argue, but I can’t say no to SecUnit.

Oh, and I’ll need help to make sure the tech doesn’t realize you’re here.

Don’t worry about it, I tell it just as I find those air-gapped and entirely feed-disconnected servers.

I’m also ruining the life of one Maxime and scrambling all the databases I can get my hands on that won’t set off alarms. I won’t risk SecUnit’s safety, not now, but I make a list of other names. Meanwhile, the technician tests SecUnit’s governor and I panic. Flat out panic. I am about ready to zap the asshole, but SecUnit tells me it will be fine. That this isn’t the worst it’s lived through.

I will make sure it will never live through anything worse again. And if that means wiping the company from existence, well that’s a small price to pay.

The end.

#murderbot #governor controlled #fanfiction

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blueorangemusic · 3 years

Note

Hi!!! I love your ATLA music, I found you and just fell in love. May I ask for some advice? Iwrite a lot of poetry and want to turn them into music but I don’t know how as I’m not a natural music person the way words come to me as a writer, and I don’t play any instruments, and it may be silly but I feel I’m too old to learn. Do you have any tips to start?

(Well this turned into a whole “how to get started with music” post. I hope you don’t mind 💜)

Oh my god oh my god oh my god, I love your ask so much! I love all the art I see in fandom, but we don’t have a lot of songwriters yet, and if I can help even one person get started with music this blr has not been in vain.

Now is actually a very good time to get started with songwriting without having to pick up a lot of music background upfront. And despite being a former choir kid and piano student, I had to learn songwriting from scratch in a similar way, since the way I was taught music focused very much on performing your part to perfection rather than understanding how the parts all fit together. So the advice below is part experience (and part best-guess as to what might work in your case).

Since you say you don’t play music I’m going to recommend you start with pre-made instrumental tracks (I’ll explain below). Now, it can feel a bit weird using an instrumental someone else made in your own creations, so think of them as basically pose references for your music. Music is tricky largely because - as with any art - you need to finish a few pieces in order to start developing your ear, but - unlike with writing or pencil drawing - you need to frontload comparatively more skill (and gear) acquisition if doing it all from scratch: where do I get instruments from? how do I use this audio software? what are chords? what all goes into making the music sound laid-back (upbeat, dramatic)? how to make the bridge sound different from the verse? We’re gonna circumvent all that - at first.

So the following writing prompt is for quickly getting to a finished piece - I hope it will help you get a feeling for how your poetry can sound when set to music, the process of turning your poetry into lyrics, and help you understand the direction you want to take your songwriting. And if you (or anyone else reading this) decide to follow the choose-your-own-adventure steps at the end and get stuck, drop me another ask - once you have an idea of what you want to do the answers get much shorter!

Writing prompt below the cut! Thanks again for the ask! If you or anyone else found this helpful and got started on some songwriting, I would love to see your completed songs or WIPs whenever you feel ready to share them 💜.

Writing Prompt: Song-ifying an existing poem

Pick one of your poems! Go to https://app.sessions.blue/ - it’s just one of many many sites offering prerecorded instrumental loops and tracks (theirs are free if used for non-commercial purposes), but the cool thing about it for this writing prompt is that their website makes it easy to browse and play the tracks without having to register, and that they offer a wider variety of genres than most.

Set a timer for 15 minutes max and browse through the tracks until you found one you like that you think can work as a song (if you don’t know where to start, set the “Tags” filter to “Indie” - it seems to have a good quantity of tracks that are song-shaped). Grab your poem, let your chosen track run, and launch into speaking or singing the words over it. You can do a single phrase, repeating it over the music, or you can run through the whole poem.

You can start with speaking or half-singing/half-speaking if making up a melody sounds a bit too intimidating at this point, but speaking can be a cool thing in its own right. Here’s a track for inspiration - Dessa’s Talking Business (lyrics here) - she used to be a poetry slam regular before she became a singer, and this song is basically a short story told in verse. Note how she is telling it in a soft voice, and though she’s half-singing, most of the musicality and impact of the song comes from the variation in the rhythm. If that sounds appealing to you, it’s something you can easily explore and practice at this step. (Don’t worry if this track doesn’t speak to you, I have more examples from different genres below).

Here’s another track that can be softly half-sung/half-spoken - Octave by Half Waif (lyrics here) - Nandi Rose, the singer, also writes poetry and this track always felt to me like a poem set to music. Note how it leaves a lot of air between each line, unlike the lyrically dense previous track. Here, a lot of the musicality comes from the echoing, etherial vocal effects that create a moody soundscape. If that sounds appealing to you, earmark it for later - you’d need to install some software and spend a few hours figuring out how to use it. (This concludes the more electronic-driven examples, onwards to other genres!)

Or you can start with a melody in a more conventional sense. Check these two tracks - Blue Caravan by Vienna Teng (lyrics here) and Empire by Dar Williams (lyrics here). Empire is an example of introducing song structure - it has distinct melodies for the verse, second part of the verse (or pre-chorus), chorus, and post-chorus. This is something you can pay attention to at this stage if it appeals to you. Or you can use the same melody throughout, like Blue Caravan does.

Uff! That was a lot of examples! But I wanted to give some inspiration of the possibilities in laying out your own words over the instrumental track you picked, and possibly help you out if you got stuck. Anyway, set your timer to 30 minutes (or 45 minutes, or an hour), keep replaying your track and singing or speaking over it. Grab a recording app (any free one you download to your phone is fine) and record yourself, phrase by phrase as you go. Listen back often, note parts that you vibe with and parts that don’t work for you. Don’t hesitate to plain out copy melodies and rhythms from songs you like at this stage, it’s all good. You might find you want to drop or repeat some of the words and phrases in your poem - experiment with that. In the end, record your best version start-to-finish so that you can listen to it again in a week’s time.

Repeat for a couple more tracks, a couple more poems.

Where to next?

Well that was a lot of words! Your next steps will depend on what appeals to you about the songmaking process.

If you listened to the instrumental tracks and thought, wow, I wish I could learn how to make my own - you’re in luck! There’s a whole world of loops and samples (small audio files used as building blocks in songs), and instead of spending time learning an instrument you would spend time developing a good ear and learning a music software where you put those building blocks together into a song. If you ever used a graphics software, the learning curve for a music software will look about the same, and same as graphics software there is a whole spread of music software from easy-to-learn to complex and from free-to-use to expensive. The examples you find online skew towards electro genres, but any genre is possible, even if you want to make acoustic guitar songs without playing acoustic guitar.

If you listened to the instrumental tracks and thought, cool, where can I get more of them? - you’re in luck too! There are a lot of people out there who make and share instrumental tracks, and most audio companies offer some of their pre-made tracks for free. Where to find them will depend on what genres you’re interested in.

If you listened to the instrumental tracks and thought, actually, all I want to sing my songs to is that cheeky ukulele sound, or those clean piano chords, or those chunky synth soundscapes - what I mean to say is, if you fell in love with a specific type of sound - well, as it happens we live in a time where inexpensive great-sounding instruments are widely available, and it doesn’t take that much time to learn the basics.

#asks #this is a creative process blr #THANK YOU for giving me the opportunity to nerd out about making music #poetry #stardust-steel

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alloftheimaginesblog · 4 years

Text

Prompt: Undercover Cop AU

Character: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Requested by @hufflepuffing-all-day-long

Note: I’ve made this a little different to most Undercover Cop AUs, this time reader is just a normal citizen and Buck is our Undercover Cop.

Parties were boring when you didn’t have a date but at least you had plenty of free champagne to drink. It was a large company fundraiser night and there were hundreds of people in attendance but none you particularly wanted to spend more than five minutes at a time with. You were there to show face, you even had a plan that you’d get tipsy, spend maximum of an hour there and then go home and watch the Bachelor and order takeaway.

That had been the plan until you saw a very handsome, broody looking man sitting in the corner watching everyone.

At this point, the alcohol had kicked in and your brain told you that yes, going over to the handsome stranger and flirting with him was a great idea! Wrong.

You smiled as seductively as you could as you walked over to him, “You don’t look like you’re enjoying yourself very much.”

He breathed out a laugh, “Heh, it’s not really my scene.”

“Mine either. Everyone’s so stuck up and pretentious.” You stuck your hand out and introduced yourself.

He smiled at you, eyes shifting to the mass of people, “Uh, Steve.” The way he fidgeted and glanced around every few seconds, you knew something was up but hey, the champagne did not care, “What branch do you work for?”

“Brooklyn, here, this building,” you told him.

This caught his interest, “So, you work for Jeremy Pickett?”

“Yeah, dude’s a total weirdo.” Steve asked you why, “Hits on all the women, sexist pig, rumours are that he’s into some illegal shit but I don’t know, I don’t take to do with that.”

“What illegal stuff we talking?”

“Again, just rumours... My friend, Jill, she works as his assistant’s assistant, I know right? Anyway, Jill was tidying his desk and the computer was on and it looked to be tax records and she swears that the numbers didn’t add up but she only saw it for like fifteen seconds so she doesn’t know for sure but she swears.”

Steve looked at you, “Wanna help me with something?” You nodded and let him take your hand and lead you through the crowd and up into the elevator.

A little too tipsy and a little too confident, you said, “We should go on a date or you could just take me home right now.”

Steve cleared his throat, pulling at his suits collar, “One thing first, okay?” You nodded with a smile. You went in the elevator to the top floor, “I need you to help me break into his office.”

That snapped you out of the trance you were in, “Huh? Dude, I just told you I’m not into illegal shit. I’m not above the law.”

“I am the law,” he told you, opening his suit jacket to reveal a police badge, “I’m an undercover cop. I’m looking for evidence of tax evasion and fraud for Jeremy Pickett. He’s paid off a lot of the cops that were on the case but if I had cold, hard evidence... he’d be sentenced no problem.”

“You’re... You’re a cop. I... I was flirting with an undercover cop? Oh my god.”

He smiled at your embarrassment, “My real name is James but everyone calls me Bucky. And, for what it’s worth, I would love to get dinner with you tomorrow night but first, you gotta help me.”

“Why me?”

He shrugged, “You know this place plus, if someone was to find us, you’re drunk enough that we could easily scrape by and act like it was a drunken mistake.”

“I’m your cover story,” you rolled your eyes, “this is why I had a plan in place to go home and watch the Bachelor! It would’ve caused much less hassle.”

Bucky laughed as you stopped in front of Pickett’s office, “But then you wouldn’t have met me, doll.” You couldn’t stop the butterflies that erupted in your stomach when he called you ‘doll’.

“Here,” you said, pulling out a bobby pin from your hair, “I saw in the movies they use these.”

“I was going to kick the door down-”

“And what would our cover story be? We just so happened to kick the door down drunk for no reason. Use the bobby pin!”

He did as you instructed and within a minute, you were standing in Pickett’s office, “Keep watch and listen,” he told you, “I’m going to hack into his computer.”

“That’s illegal.”

“I’m a cop, I can bend the rules a little for myself.” It was exciting, whatever this was. It was intimidating but quite a lot of fun so far, “Gotcha!” He grinned, “Why are all rich guys passwords the name of the mistress and 123 after it? Just need to download it and then we can arrest the son of a bitch.”

“How long will it take to download?”

“Minute, tops.”

“Any way you can make it go faster?”

“Why?”

“Elevator just dinged. Someone’s coming.”

“Shit. Keep watch.”

You did, peering out the tiniest crack in the door, anxiously waiting to see who would appear in a matter of seconds, “How long?”

“Forty seconds.”

“Hurry it up.” The voices were getting closer.

“Thirty seconds.”

There were two men walking towards the room. They were dark suits with an earpiece and a wire; guards.

You rushed over to Bucky, “Jacket off, now. Now!” You hissed as he looked at you. Quickly, he did so and you draped it over the computer monitor so that it concealed the bright screen.

You kicked off a shoe, rustled your hair and pulled him up, “I’m going to kiss you and you’re going to go with it.”

“What-”

You kissed him. He was stunned but when he heard the voices approaching, he realised what you were doing. He relaxed into it, dropping his hands to your waist and pulling you closer before lifting you onto the desk. He kissed you deeper as your hands pulled at his shirt. It was hot. God, he was a good kisser.

The door swung open but you two stayed kissing until one of them cleared their throats, “What are you doing in here?”

“What are you doing in here?” You giggled, slurring your words on purpose, “Can’t we have a little bit of alone time?”

“Unless you wanna join in, fellas,” Bucky grinned.

“How did you get in here?”

“It was unlocked,” you told them, “trust me, we tried a lot of other rooms and couldn’t get in. Almost gave up and then, bingo!”

“Out of here,” one of the guards said, rolling his eyes, “Get your things and go.”

“Well, turn around,” you told them, “I don’t want you seeing things.” They turned around and Bucky grabbed his jacket and grinned when he saw it was complete. He got the USB drive and quickly shut down the monitor as you slipped your shoes back on.

“Thanks, gentlemen,” you said, grabbing Bucky’s hand and leading him out of the office. The guards walked behind you two as they escorted you back to the elevator. Once in the elevator you smirked at Bucky, “Now was that a gun in your pocket or were you just excited to see me?”

He laughed, “Both. It was both... That was good back there, amazing. The plan was good, too.”

You laughed with him, “I’ve not had this much fun at a company party in years. What’s next?”

“Well, doll, you’re gonna give me your phone, I’ll give you my number and then when we get out of this elevator, I’m going to arrest Pickett now that we have proof of fraud and tax evasion and you’re going to go home, drink a lot of water, get some sleep and in the morning, you’re gonna call me and we’ll go for dinner tomorrow night.”

“Sounds like a plan, officer.”

#i got carried away #prompt #one shot #long prompt #written prompt #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #undercover cop au #au #marvel #avengers

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xseildnasterces · 3 years

Text

resentment.

Another week, another nap, another day I wish was over and I could be in bed sleeping. That, I think, it my current weekly cycle. Right now, the weather is beautiful, and I am really hoping I can pull together the motivation to actually go out this weekend and do something. Yesterday I went to see a dermatologist for the very first time ever, and it felt good! As much as it should not be the case, private healthcare does seem to be much more thorough than public healthcare. I do not believe it should be this way, and I am also certainly not advocating for healthcare in the UK to be sold off to private companies. All I am saying, is when budget is not an issue, like it is for the NHS, healthcare can be very different. I acknowledge that I am very lucky to work for an institution that provides us with incredibly good health insurance, which of course we pay for out of our salaries, but all the same, it is very good health insurance and includes a lot. I honestly do not understand how people cope living here without health insurance – well I guess I answered my own question there, they don’t.

Anyway, as soon as the dermatologist realised that I was English the first thing she asked me was whether I watched the Harry and Meghan palaver. Of course, I had, so we chatted a little about that before actually moving onto what I was there for. She took one look at my skin, which I must admit looked better than it had in ages (typical), and she said she knew what I needed and that she could definitely help and improve my skin. I felt so relieved. I have tried so many things, both prescribed and other topical skincare and nothing has helped even a little, so I felt incredibly relived. We discussed my skin care routine, and the possible side effects of taking the medication I have been prescribed. I will go back in three months to check how things are going and she also said it could take that long to noticeably work. We talked about my other medical issues and as I expected we addressed how PCOS certainly made hormonal cystic acne worse. I have been provided with medication that is only for women and is specifically for hormonal cystic acne, which is why she said it should definitely work for me. Whilst I was there she asked what I was taking for my PCOS and I said I had never been prescribed anything before other than birth control when I was in the UK (which was not good for me). She urged me to set up an appointment with a gynaecologist to address my PCOS because she said it would be very beneficial for me to have that checked on and dealt with on a regular basis. Of course, I was diagnosed with PCOS almost ten years ago, so it’s perhaps a little late in the day to prevent any damage, but it will certainly be good to have it monitored. My insurance also allows me to set up appointments with specialists without referrals from my GP which is wonderful! I now have a dermatologist, an OBGYN, my usual GP and a gastroenterologist. Who knew I would have my own entourage of doctors and specialists? At least I feel like I am being well looked after. I have annual checks on everything and so far, all is good. I feel glad to have this amount of care. I now just need to get myself a dentist, optician, and orthodontist and then that’s the health stuff all out of the way! Along with the medication, I have also been given a medicated topical cream which I am super scared to use. I am so nervous with anything like this considering the ridiculous allergic reactions that I have had in the past. Tonight, is my first night starting both… so lets see how it goes.

I got upset last night. Yesterday I had my usual weekly meeting with my boss and without going into all the details of it, she made a comment about how she doesn’t want me going home any time soon and how she needs me in the office. I wasn’t even suggesting going home any time soon, nor did I intend to, but as soon as she said I couldn’t, all I wanted to do was run and get on a plane. I felt really upset and sad about it and ended up crying later on once I was in bed. I expressed that my sister would be home in a week and I had not seen her in two years so I fully intend on heading home for a while during summer. As soon as I said that her mood changed and she was super pissed off with me. It’s so frustrating. I have quite a lot of leave to take yet my boss is basically telling me that I cannot take it because she knows I will have to quarantine when I get back. It’s incredibly annoying and upsetting. My intention was to head home for a short while perhaps in May or June, most likely June, but now I feel like I will not have my leave approved. If that is the case I will certainly end up having another breakdown and end up crying down the phone. By June it will be six months that I have not seen anyone, so I cannot cope with not seeing any of my family and friends for longer than that, and personally I don’t think my boss should expect me to. It’s annoying that I am literally the only person at work who lives alone and is living here without any family members, so when other people are allowed to go wherever they want and I can’t its very stressful. I took is badly last night and was very upset, but I woke up this morning feeling a little better about it. I will be going home at some point this summer whether my boss likes it or not. I’m just not quite sure how I will be able to wing it.

I had therapy today and I had a really good session. We discussed my recent realisation and some of the regrets in my life. We talked about the progress that I had made over my time in therapy so far and how much I have developed. It made me feel good. I think I am starting to recognise and accept things about myself that I hadn’t before and although there is still work to do I feel better for it. I feel that I am no longer undergoing a fight in my head on a daily basis, nor am I constantly terrorising myself over things that I cannot change or do anything about. I know this is not permanent and I am not silly enough to think I will always feel this way. My struggles will come back, of course they will, but right now I feel more content with what is going on in my head, and that is certainly a bonus. We also discussed ‘someone I used to know’. We talked about feelings. We talked about the ‘magnetic pull’ I have always felt from them and how no matter what has happened I still feel that pull. We talked about what it was about this person that created that pulling effect and how to address and deal with that. We also talked a lot of about my feelings towards that person, both the good and bad and how things had changed for me since certain things occurred that I never believed would, and I learnt more about the person that I felt I knew pretty much everything about. It was a good session though and I felt that I was growing even during it. These are topics I have avoided a lot and it was the first time that I really opened up about my real and honest feelings towards this person in detail, and it felt like walls were really beginning to fall for me surrounding that topic in regards to discussing it.

I also sliced my thumb open at work. Do not let anyone tell you that there are no risks associated with being an archivist. I promise you, there are many. Today I was working with a super old file that had a small metal closure. As I was trying to release the papers from the metal closure, it slipped from my hand and ran all the way along my thumb cutting right down into it. Now, I hate blood, and my god, there was blood. I was dripping all over the floor and I couldn’t find any tissues or anything to stop the blood so I just grabbed an old cardigan and wrapped my hand in it whilst I ran through to another of the girls in the office to see if she had a plaster. She didn’t, and we spent the next ten minutes running through all the offices to find a plaster or first aid kit. When we did find a first aid kit it was empty… fabulous. We eventually found a plaster in someone’s drawer and I cleaned my thumb and put it on. Before I had even made it back to my office the plaster was completing sodden with blood and it was dripping again. It’s a wonder I didn’t faint. I pulled the plaster back off, with my blood splattering all over some documents on my desk – thankfully not the old records! And I made a makeshift bandage out of tissue and tape. Thankfully it lasted until I got home where I could properly wash and dress the cut properly. It is still incredibly painful, but it has finally stopped bleeding – so that’s something.

I am currently IN LOVE with the new ADTR album. I cannot stop listening to it, all day, at work, at home, whilst cooking, whilst walking. It is absolutely amazing. I think it’s just what I needed right now. I’ve really been into listening to Kerrang! radio again recently and after a weekend of female fronted metal bands and emo playlists, I am just loving this album. I would even go as far as saying it might actually be my favourite album from ADTR. I just adore every single song. ADTR really do make me think of Download. They are such a good festival band and so many songs of theirs are major crowd sing-a-longs. I’m so unreliable sad that I have to wait over a year to be in a field with a bunch of people singing our hearts out and dancing to our hearts content, but god damn, Download 2022 is going to be SOMETHING. And I cannot bloody wait.

#adtr #a day to remember #life #update #me #personal #diary #journal #thoughts #feelings #feeling #thought #memory #memories #therapy #love #relationship #resentment #regret

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