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#listen guys i wanted to include steven... but it’d be a lie
mexisco · 3 years
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Here it is lads, as always, my personal favorite red carpet looks from the 93rd edition of the Academy Awards.
(Carey Mulligan, Maria Bakalova, Zendaya, Andra Day, Lakeith Stanfield, Regina King, HER, Chloé Zhao & Riz Ahmed)
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xirae · 7 years
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What's your type of gal
I’ll answer this in two way - first the type of girl I’d romance in a dating sim and then what I think my type of guy is. This is not at all a callout at you bc I don’t really post guys here often and neither is being gay in my blog description. Freshman year through sophomore year of high school I claimed to be bi but I was just having a hard time accepting that I wasn’t into women. I love answering questions so I’ll do this one to the best of my ability! (also sorry this took me so long I got carried away talking about myself and my life experiences...)
In dating sims first I’d look for like the goth, emo, punk rock, loner type. That’s bc my ideal me has a sort of goth-lite, emo-lite aesthetic. I don’t show it much other than small accessories like a spiked wristband and my black super skinny jeans, but it’s there and I love meeting people who get that vibe (I also genuinely like music ranging from metal to metalcore and hardcore to post-hardcore). I’m also very much a loner and have a hard time opening up about myself (excepting a few moments on here LOL), so I can identify with people like that. When characters have a deep hurt or a bit of baggage they struggle with I identify a lot with that because I’m still affected by baggage from high school and freshman year of college (my desc is a little outdated rn by about a year and a half...). ESPECIALLY when it involves not fitting in or being weird/a freak, I just relate so hard and those paths make me feel emotional. I also hopefully get to make them happy too!
If no one is goth/emo, then I just look for someone nerdy/geeky, or at least not too connected to the “popular” crowd. This is bc I know what it’s like to geek out over things, and it’d always be fun to play games and stuff with my simulator gf. It’s another way I can relate to the character in the game. I can even relate to cringy fandom stuff bc I used to be superwholock and I’m high-key really into Hatoful Boyfriend and Life is Strange.
This isn’t to say I consider the “popular” girls snobby, bratty characters. I actually LOVE finding out the true personalities behind the shallow, power-hungry, selfish exteriors these characters hide behind (see: Victoria from Life is Strange, Cheryl from Riverdale). Given their rough exteriors, though, I’m more inclined to search out the latter two personalities because I can more immediately relate to them.
As for guys, it happens a lot less fluidly. Some characters/actors I find very attractive are Perceival Graves (Collin Farel or something?), Idris Elba, Chris Evans, Jensen Ackles (but not Dean Winchester anymore bc he’s way too overwhelmingly masculine in his behavior). I low-key want Soldier 76 to be my sugar daddy, Reyes/Reaper is my assassin boyfriend, and McCree is my cowboy boyfriend. I also think Robert from Dream Daddy is very attractive. Idk what “types” I have from this list
 I don’t get IRL crushes very often (I’ve had 3 from eight grade to freshman year of college). The first one was kind of homophobic and ditched me as a friend freshman year - I question past-David’s judgement but I just thought he was really cute at the time. I don’t know what I was thinking oh my God I’m screaming right now thinking that ever happened  (he never knew I was gay or had a crush on him so he just ditched me bc he didn’t really like me which is ok we were fairly incompatible. I HATED him for it though). 
Second guy moved to Florida - he was someone in my grade I hung out with at school a lot sophomore year. He seemed to listen to me at a time I noticed myself go unheard a lot in conversation (people in my grade just didn’t like me at the time except one other guy named Michael. It wasn’t until junior year I found others who liked me in my grade). The bad thing was I also kind of fetishized his sadness. He had family problems at the time - his mom and dad were split and he lived with his mom, and I thought he was someone who understood what it was to feel hurt; I thought I could see the “real” Steven (YIKES YIKES YIKES yeah Steven was his name lol). He moved to Florida bc his parents came back together (yay! Good for him and his mom!), and then he came back to Toledo and didn’t tell me so I hated him for that (he shouldn’t have known about me either but there was this one time I put my hand on his shoulder bc I was a creeper although I’ve read that touching people is one way to strengthen friendships so maybe not).
Third guy came way later freshman year bc while there were guys I kind of could have crushed on I made sure I didn’t. This one is probably circumstantial bc I don’t know why i liked him like that instead of just deeply appreciating his friendship. I burned a lot of bridges after hs graduation and I felt like such a loser. This dude first sits by me in my giant chem lab just like a coincidence like anyone you sit by. We talk and exchange numbers - he’s a freshman like me, we both did it just to make new contacts in a new phase in our lives. Then he somehow pops up right next to me at a football game when I was with my roommate, and then when I wanted to leave early he and his friend went with me. We stopped at the student union and they wanted Panda Express and I wanted Subway, so I thought we were just splitting there and I go eat on my own. Before I’m done he comes to my table bc he and his friend finished and I’m like “Why is this really cool guy going out of his way to sit with weird loser me?” - I think that day I became infatuated with him. Like even when I played Hatoful Boyfriend that year and started fanboying over it he never seemed to be significantly put off by it if even at all like he never seemed to ever think I was weird loser David. I think it was just the first time in more than a year someone made me feel like that and I went a little overboard in the feelings department. All that got fixed though when I became depressed, and I isolated myself from the few people I talked to and that included him so yeah fuck me LOL. I even had a chance to tell him bc something bad happened in my dorm and he found out about it and texted me if I was ok after I hadn’t texted him in forever but I feigned ignorance and was like “yeah I’m ok” (he probably knew I was lying too bc the “something bad” was a suicide). That might have even hurt his feelings too that was insensitive of me to just straight up lie like I was dropping him
Idk if I can ever become infatuated like that again although I’m fairly recovered so I’m more inclined to feel things again. I don’t really know if I can think up some magic type of guy I’d become infatuated with, but the way they treat me when I start being me affects it a lot. I still have issues with thinking I’m weird and if I think someone “gets it” or they’re just a cool person who seems to like it that probaby would still help a lot. But if someone isn’t geeky at all idk where we can connect - even the cool guy #3 (Chris) liked some games and got Fallout 4 when it came out. We took similar classes bc he’s comp eng and I’m comp sci. I read a wide range of genres, watch all sorts of TV, play a super wide variety of games - I’d like to have some common ground in what I like to think is a fairly wide range of interests. But it seems that more fratty or mainstream or just not-nerdy types don’t do any of this and idk what their interests even are (I guess football or sports which is just as good but I can’t relate). I feel like this composes most ppl (at least at my high school it did) but I’m introverted it’s not like I go out of my way to talk to people
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