#listen im gonna say it

[autosadist]

i don't talk too much about how trans women get treated in original posts because im not a trans woman and plenty of trans women on this site are sharing insights that i can just reblog but also sometimes i see other trans dudes talk about trans women in ways that make me want to step in 1 on 1 like "hey man, do you remember what it feels like to be a girl getting treated like a piece of meat by some guy you don't know then dismissed for standing up for yourself. because you're that guy now"

#like if youre not going to listen to all the women saying 'can you not treat us like sex objects and get mad when we ask for respect' #and if youre gonna come in w all the 'but i dont pass so xyz!' bullshit #im gonna make it personal idk >_>

[inkskinned]

you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.

(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)

but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.

(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)

there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.

(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)

you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.

(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)

you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.

in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.

but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.

they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.

it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.

#spilled ink #warm up #can you tell what i'm mad about today specifically #i will say that there are a LOT of things that go into this. like a lot. this is ungendered and unspecific for a reason #it isn't just sexism. it's also racism. and ableism. and honestly classism. #and before a healthcare professional reads this as a personal attack: i understand ur burnt out #we are ALSO burnt out. your situation is also dire. this is not an attack on you. #this is a commentary on the incredible amounts of bigotry that lie at the heart of capitalism #where people have to pay money out of pocket to be told to fuck off. #your job is important. so is our humanity. and if you cannot accept that people are fucking mad as hell #at the industry - you are probably not listening . #anyway at some point im gonna write a piece about sexism specifically in medical shit #but i don't want terfs clowning in it bc they can't understand nuance #> it is true that ppl w/a uterus are more likely to experience medical malpractice & dismissal globally #> it is also true that trans people experience an equally fucked up and bad time in the medical field #> great news! the medical industrial complex is an equal opportunity life ruiner :) #(if you find it necessary to go into a debate about biology while discussing medical malpractice #i want to warn you that you're misunderstanding the issue. because guess what. #cis MEN might experience this. particularly black men. particularly disabled men. #so YES having a uterus can lead to more trouble for you. but this happens a LOT. #instead of fighting those ALSO experiencing your pain.... try working WITH them. #which btw. is like. actual feminism.)

[cemeterything]

does anyone else ever like. edit and clarify their own wording when talking to themself. like "nah actually that sentence was mid, let's take it from the top" or "and by [word/phrase i just used] i mean [explanation], not [alternative interpretation that wasn't what i meant, even though i know what i meant because i'm talking to myself]" or am i just a total weirdo.

#🐉 #its not like i think im gonna be arrested for thought crimes is the thing. i just dont like my own inner dialogue being shitty to #listen to and converse with. so im like. hmm but what if there was a better way of saying this.

[modmad]

today's 'technology is in such a hell state now that I genuinely feel compelled to scream about it daily' moment was my trying to print and scan a document, with my printer/scanner (which, I must have you note, despite my pleading with the seller did not come with usb wire option available, and none of the others did).

Predictably, having been used on the day of purchase and not since, the printer did not work despite being less than 6 months old. Searching for why this could be led me down a rabbit hole that eventually resolved into how the print cartridges for this model just dry out and clog up if you don't use them every single week. you know. what a normal thing to happen. but don't worry! just soak the bottom in a shallow bath of warm water for 30 minutes dry it off and reinstall it that'll make it work

8)

you what.

Anyway, it did work. I print the test sheet, boom, what should have worked before at least worked now. And there was Much Rejoicing.

alas. alas. how shortly lived it was.

Now I naturally move on to print the document, sign it, and scan the newly signed document. The document from my pc. With this printer/scanner which is sitting on a desk directly NEXT TO my pc.

Which. will not. connect to my pc.

I plead. I bargain. I follow the wizard twice, thrice, but it is a cruel wizard, a tormenter from the nether world. "Type in the IP address!" He taunts me, cackling maniacally as I do, weeping over my staggering fingers attempting to puzzle the code out of the 1 inch touch screen, numbers and dots jazzing into nonsense in my field of vision as I loose all comprehension of what the symbols mean. The printer cannot be found. The printer does not Exist. The printer, at this moment, the sole focus of my gaze, decides it is bored and goes to sleep, therefore ending the whole attempt of communicating with it just as the 938678th loading bar had reached its zenith and I, ever the hapless Sisyphus, watch my dignity flatten into a pancake of wordless, stark-eyed bewilderment verging on hysteria as my boulder crashes back down the hill as the wizard begins to drag me back to the beginning of his never ending Labrynth, to be eaten by and become the ouroboros yet again but no! I will not enter back! I shall bite down, break my scales, and end this cycle of tyrannous misery!

anyway that's why I ended up taking a shitty photo with my phone's camera and I'm doctoring it in CSPaint to look like I scanned it with the SCANNER THAT I AM ABOUT TO THROW OUT OF A SECOND STORY WINDOW

#I thought you said keys! #why the fuck would I say keys?! #anyway #HELL WORLD. #technology #im gonna actually explode lads it's gonna happen #this is my Joker moment #I've had several before I know but listen

[potatobugz]

its like this, basically

#demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #kny #I THINK! MAYBE! I HAVE NO SELF CONFIDENCE #BUT UR GONNA LISTEN TO ME RAMBLE ANYWAYS. SANEMI DOESNT HATE GENYA!!!!! #yes he is mean to genya no im not saying its justified in any way #hes doing it ON PURPOSE he is trying 2 DRIVE GENYA AWAY #he wants genya to stay as far away from the demon slayers as possible bc he knows how dangerous it is #and this is his way of trying 2 protect him!!!!!!! #because genya is his ONLY REMAINING FAMILY MEMBER !!!!!!!!!!! #his actions are not GOOD but it does annoy me when ppl make him torment genya for shits and giggles #like he would not do that #you understand #anyways i love drawing these 2 so so much especially genya oh my god #genyas blank. vacant. wide eyed stare is so important 2 me i love drawing him furever and ever #ALSO IN LOVE W THE “FREAKISHLY TALL” GENYA HC #LIKE ITS NOT MADE OBVIOUS IN THIS DRAWING BUT. ough. so good. bean pole #i want to pat him on the head gently #sanemi has the vibe of like a stressed out chihuahua #demon slayer tier list how likely is it for each character to bite someone #ME WHEN TRAGIC SIBLINGS. ME WHEN TRAGIC SIBLINGS. ME WHEB #its ironic then that the whole reason genya joined the demon slayer corps in the first place was bc #he wanted to become strong like his brother. to get his attention #hey wanna see how hard i can cryFFSSSSSHHHHHWWWGGGGHHJJJJ #potatart #sanemi shinaguzawa #genya shinazugawa #GIRL I FORGOT TAGS </3

[secretdazedragon]

When I start to discuss someone with my companions right in front of them

#a part of me always thinks they gonna comments on it but luckily no #they don't listen to us bc they realized we have nothing reasonable to say from our prev intercations #bg3 #bg3 fanart #astarion #the magnificent maurice #bg3 tav #gur hunter guy #im sure he has a name #sketch

[storytellering]

if anyone's looking for me, I'll be in delulu land manifesting Tony Redgrave for the new dmc anime, don't try and get me back xoxo thanks

#dmc #devil may cry #dante #dmc anime #devil may cry anime #dmc netflix #netflix devil may cry #dante sparda #tony redgrave #my art #listen so many things are pointing to that #my one and only request is that its not some kinda weird au i just want it to be a canon compliant retelling of the 1 novel #and thats what im gonna say it is until proven otherwise #anyway. hi im so glad to have a guide for tony's hair i was stumbling in the dark before #in hindsight this feels perfect

[august-racoone]

youve heard of "chat"

now get ready for: "listeners"

#yk how ppl say chat talking to a nonexistant 4th wall #im gonna start doing that but saying listeners #the world is my radio show #and i am its humble radio show host #welcome to night vale #wtnv

[aq2003]

(@variousqueerthings he's so melodramatic and sad. it's soooooo </33)

[transcript:

"i said. i was fine. fine about you leaving. aand.. i'm not. so many of you have come and gone, i never get used to it, think i would've done by now but-but-but. No... just when i think it's all going well, we'll be together forever, you're wandering off to go save another universe or get married—how do you lot fall in love so quickly?"

"well, funny you should say that—"

"i just don't get it. but ehhh, short lives, i suppose. still, so long as you're happy, and you're with the right man, and—he is the right man? Eeehhh—yEs he is yes he is 'course he is, of COUrSe he is, and i mean, i mean, well, no man is gonna be good enough for my donna but YES yes [inhales] off you go! every time, one of you leaves. i'm not ready! i never am, you lot. uuUUhgh. [deep breath]. every one of you, a heartbreaker—"

"that's why you've got two of them, stupid. listen—"

"yeah, i suppose, but it doesn't... make it any easier, you all leave... even the robot dog left me. twice!"

"alright, doctor, i am trying to—"

"and another thing! the universe just never gives me a break! a chance to lick my wounds, a spa day, maybe? but aw, no, Giant Cloud Of Alien Death. well, fine. i'll sort that out. [inhales] one more thing. so many more things. never NEVER never ends."

/end transcript]

#point number 1. good fucking god their abandonment issues. they say 'i know when i'm in the way' a bit later and it's ruining my life #point number 2. ten and donna r THE queerplatonic partners ever in the whole world. 'no man is gonna be good enough for my donna' #like. oh my god. can i die. can somebody kill me. MY god. #point number 3. he is so aroace for this. #tenth doctor #donna noble #doctor who #dr who #doctordonna #aspec doc tag #in case it doesnt show up in the post this is from doctor who death and the queen (the big finish audio) btw! #fyi i haven't listened to the full thing but i saw this clip from @ninemelodies (on twt) and i have the file so im just posting it here #10 era

[luck-of-the-drawings]

[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]

saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS #REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT #NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS #THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS. #ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of #another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY.. #i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her #idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had #when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them. #but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore. #but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think #i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow. #ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that #AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE #I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME #THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE #WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL #in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad #this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks- #-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl- #-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi #gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show #i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!! #anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM

[our-inspire-verse]

I always feel so out of place even in system communities. Does anyone else relate at all??

Like, idk some system memes are cool and relatable bc obviously not everything is gonna line up, but so much of it doesn't click with us.

We've almost never been put off by the voices, we all wanna communicate, we don't think less of each other or think 1 deserves more front time than anyone else, etc. Idk, there's so many memes about denial and eating each other's food and all this distress. Which is i know, a major part of many system's lives. Part of what makes a meme is the repeatability and a lot of systemhood IS struggles in that area.

But what about systems who do everything right (in the sense that we have healthy coping and such)? What about systems who unconditionally love each other and dissociative barriers are something we work around instead of fighting? What about the systems who love the voices?

#this comes off as abilistic i know im gonna get some bs from this #but listen. listen to me. ur allowed to struggle and this post isnt about/for u if ur gonna get mad or defensive #im talking systems well on their path through purposeful recovery #systems years into studying themselves and having full comfort and understanding within. full love. full acceptance. #i want memes and content that isnt medicalized and saying the same stuff over and over and over and over #all this misery. where is the system content where we're just being plural and silly. im so tired #dont even start on syscourse like its so bad in here #smells like stinky #system babbles #osdd #actually osdd #minor vent? #system posting #memes #did #actually did #actually traumatized #actually traumagenic #endo safe #syscourse dni #positivity

[duskerot]

i disappear inside myself / my friends don't know it can't be helped

[Pure You - Nothing But Thieves]

#my art #mysme #mystic messenger #v mystic messenger #jihyun kim #ummmm hi guys #^-^ #fanart from me?? posted directly to this blog ??? or at all??? Well. #i was looping this song and i had the idea for this and then sat down for about four hours and here it is #im on like day 2 of v's route for the first time AND this song just came out like right as i got into his route yknow #and i was listening to those lyrics like.... huh..... #this soundssss. familiar. #anyway. politely i did NOT think that if i made fanart of this game after returning to it for the first time in like 6 years. it would be V #i adore this song though. and it compels me #i havent ever seen his route before so i still don't know how it ends idk how accurate this vibe even is #i would say try to avoid spoiling me in the tags but im gonna be real say whatever you want kings #i love u mysme fandom thats still around in 2024 you get me #anyway im drafting this at about 3 in the morning and i need to be awake earlyish tomorrow SO. #we'll see when i post this #its been so long since ive posted art i just do nawt make fanart until i get divinely inspired #iffff its blurry please click to see it its supposed to be crisp ^^; #been on this site how long i still pay no mind to their suggested image resolution #OH and by day 2 of V's route i mean like day 6 overall. you understand

[thekidsfromyestergay]

"why do you want MCR to make new music so much why not just listen to other bands" well because MCR are the best and only band in the universe. Hope this helps!

#other bands dont even exist idk what youre talking about #OBVIOUSLY this post is a joke. most of my playlists lately havent included any mcr at all #maybe like. one song here or there #but yeah im gonna post about mcr all the time this is where i post about mcr #if i say hey have you guys ever listened to the experimental rock side project of the guy from biffy clyro everyone says NO. die

[ot3]

this flavor of trans guy misogyny where they do rhetorical backflips to explain why them not caring about women is good, actually, and since cis men are also misogynists a lot of the time we should all just stop complaining about it.

#'no one bats an eye when-' #actually yes plenty of women but particularly black women and lesbians have a lot to say about the specific brand of misogyny #that you get from cis gay men. only no one listens to women who talk about misogyny. is the thing. s o. #IM LITERALLY NOT EVEN SAYING PEOPLE NEED TO PUT FEMALE CHARACTERS IN SHIT #IM JUST SAYING IF THEYRE GONNA BE THERE IT SUCKS WHEN THEY'RE ONLY THERE TO BE PLOT MOTIVATORS FOR MEN!!!! NO ONE GIVES A SHIT WHAT YOU DO! #like if you're a trans guy and you have a complicated relationship to womanhood and don't want to spend a bunch of time #in the headspace of female characters. i get that. i can understand that. i can sympathize. #but if ur response to seeing someone complain about misogyny is 'why should i have to care about female characters' then ur just an asshole #theres a time and a place to talk about the Unique and Woke Way That You Personally Dislike Women and it's not on my fucking posts!!!!

[callabosgeis]

The bibble :O

Pre island Simon was def one of those church obssesed kids

Enphasis on the was LMAO

BYEE!! 💥​💥​💥​

#lord of the flies #lotf #lotf simon #SHOCKING!!! Catholic gay kid finds out he's a Jesus allegory (REAL NO FAKE ❌​) #Would you listen to Simon yap about the Bible? Please say yes #I have covid guys im gonna die

[truth-01001001-liar]

Ilabael Muhr of Jora’ruhn

#jora’ruhn isn’t a canonical place in the games or the lore #it’s a headcanon ig #listen what else was Vivec’s archcanon gonna do except build a city on the ruins of his and name it after her spear #her spear whose name means ‘she betrays’ #of course it could also mean he betrays or they betray it’s fucking unclear but this is wraith so of course it is #anyway Ilabael is one of the warriors from Jora’ruhn #it’s an awkward collection of ‘dunmer who happened to by some miracle survive the red year on vvardenfell #because they were-say- in a cave that stayed standing or a family tomb so #yeah weird collection of individuals living in Jora’ruhn and not very many of them #Ilabael is the child of an exiled ash lander of erabenimsun who fell hook line and sinker for wrath’s bullshit #*wraith’s #im not re-writing that whole tag to fix that one word #anyway #thanks for reading my rambling #tes #morrowind #TruthiLiar’s art #headcanon #tes oc: ilabael