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degenerate-perturbation · 3 years

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Viv Reviews: Wayward Son by Rainbow Rowell

As part of my quest to read every edgy Harry Potter knockoff, I read Wayward Son.

I liked it much better than Carry On. Carry On was a confusing mess and I don’t really remember anything that happened in it. Wayward Son is a much more tightly plotted, emotionally coherent book, with many good ideas.

Is it good? No.

But here are some things I liked about it:

The plot construction. Checkov’s guns are ably placed in the first act, and fired in the third. The twists make sense, without being telegraphed. The story clips along at a reasonable pace and there is a consistent sense of motion and dynamism throughout that made me want to keep reading.

The Americana. I love all magical Americana. However, it is possible to fuck this trope up (see: CW’s Supernatural.) Wayward Son does this trope without fucking it up, and I’ll give it credit for that.

The inherent hilarity of British people interacting with America and being completely befuddled. For the duration of reading this book I felt about 4% more patriotic. There is a scene where the main characters are gearing up to fight the villains with magical spells but this is America and the villains brought guns and they just shoot them. This is hilarious and exactly what would happen.

The villains. The concept of a bunch of Silicon Valley techbros becoming vampires as like a biohacking project is brilliant, because I know so many people who would do that. I would do that. Las Vegas being run by old-school vampires and the two groups hate each other for Vampiring Wrong is also brilliant.

I really enjoyed the new muggle character. Shepard is a muggle who knows about magic and just really likes it and wants to be around it as like, a hobby. I would totally be this guy. Between him and the Silicon Valleys vampires I feel like the American characters in this book are spot-on as types of people who would exist in a setting where magic is real. So few urban fantasy books get this right, and Wayward Son kind of does!

Most of the characters do have coherent, detectable emotional arcs. They aren’t well-executed. But they exist! This is more than I could say for the previous book. Draco/Baz struggles with existing as a marginal vampire in mage society, or abandoning humanity to exist in vampire society. Hermione/Penelope takes a long series of L’s and comes to realize that she can’t actually do everything herself and should really have asked for help. Harry/Simon is depressed about not being a main character anymore.

The fact that Draco is a vampire for no obvious reason doesn’t seem as weird in Wayward Son as in Carry On because vampires are a major element of this book’s plot.

Harry and Draco’s relationship in this book is on the rocks, and it starts out seeming like they are going to break up. They still bicker a lot, despite being boyfriends, which makes perfect sense for people who disliked each other for most of the time they knew each other. This creates a fine thread of emotional tension throughout the story (I love conflict!) that, unfortunately, goes nowhere.

Here is what I did not like:

THE POV CHANGES.

Oh my god, the POV changes are fucking intolerable. Do you guys remember those old fanfics where there was a POV change literally every paragraph and every event got described from 4 different characters’ point of view? This book does this so egregiously that part of me wonders if in fact Rowell is making the book bad on purpose to fit with the fanfiction thing--because her other books are fine! I know Rowell can write a perfectly respectable love story, so really, what gives?

This is really just one thing because I think all of the book’s flaws boil down to this supremely irritating structure. Here are some issues that I feel arise from it:

Characters do not really develop their relationships to each other, because all of their emotional turmoil happens in their first-person internal monologue. Simon and Baz never really work through their relationship issues because they do not talk to each other until the very end of the book. They live completely inside their own heads, straightfowardly telling the reader how they are feeling, without having to tell each other.

Similarly, I thought Penelope and Shepard were going to be a developing couple. They would make sense as a foil to Simon and Baz’s established (and crumbling) relationship, they interact quite a bit, Penelope gets dumped at the start of the book by her boyfriend for traits that Shepard explicitly values, and on a meta level, it is sensible to pair the most magical mage with a muggle. But they don’t really interact much on the page. I think about how much more interesting this relationship would have read if Penelope had worked through some of her issues with this guy, but she didn’t.

As a result, the character’s arcs do not really go anywhere satisfying, because they are all so inside their own heads! Without playing off each other, they don’t have opportunities to develop in a natural way. She just privately thinks her to herself that she’s in over her head, and that’s the end of it. We don’t see anyone challenge Penelope on her overconfidence or see her confess vulnerability to anyone. We don’t see Simon and Baz argue about their relationship; we just see them mutually, separately worry about it.

The other problem I have with Simon and Baz is that their relationship takes place entirely in terms of dramatic overwrought romantic inner monologue. The one time they interact with each other romantically on screen--we don’t actually see it! We just see ping-ponging POV of “He means the world to me” and “I only ever wanted him," which is wildly inconsistent with how they actually interact with each other, which is mostly tense in petty bickering. And that would have been perfectly fine if, say, it had lead to a break up and subsequent make up. That would have been a good trial-by-fire for this relationship! But it doesn’t happen. I’m left asking over and over again, why do these characters love each other? Why does he mean the world to him? Why should I care?

This is related to another issue with the book is that, like a fanfiction, it seems to require the context of “canon” events in order to make emotional sense. Simon and Baz keep referring back to their dynamic as roommates that hate each other to contextualize their present love for each other. But we never saw any of that happen! I don’t feel attachment to their pre-existing relationship because the pre-existing relationship is an informed quality.

And this is the problem with Simon himself, as a character. His arc in this book is about overcoming his depression and the burnout of being an ex-main-character. He and Penelope keep referencing adventures they’ve had that we weren’t there for, so how am I supposed to feel a sense of bittersweet nostalgia for then? It’s like hanging out with a group of friends who keep making inside jokes I don’t get. It’s alienating, and does the opposite of make me relate to these characters.

If I was reading about Harry Potter’s ex-main-character depression, this would read totally differently, because I would have already read seven years’ worth of Harry Potter’s wild adventures. A fanfiction about Harry’s post-traumatic stress about all those events would be perfectly suitable fanfiction subject. A book about Crypto-Harry-Potter’s post-traumatic stress over events we weren’t present for does not work nearly as well.

Finally, the dynamic of this trio does not work. What really worked for Harry, Ron, and Hermione is that each one of them was the awkward third friend. In Wayward Son, Penelope and Baz both have a relationship with Simon, but not really each other. And since the characters stay in their own heads, a new dynamic doesn’t really have space to develop.

Also, the prose just, isn’t very good. J. K. Rowling was not a master of prose, but Harry Potter felt magical. It felt like a fairy tale. With Wayward Son, I am Once Again reminded of this Ursula Le Guin quote, from her essay, “From Elfland to Poughkeepsie”:

Many readers, many critics, and most editors speak of style as if it were an ingredient of a book, like the sugar in a cake, or something added onto the book, like the frosting on the cake. The style, of course, is the book. If you remove the cake, all you have left is recipe. If you remove the style, all you have left is a synopsis of the plot.

This is a recipe for a book. A good recipe, with many good ingredients, but it utterly lacks style, making it just good enough to disappoint me.

Apparently there is going to be a threequel. Obviously I am going to read it.

#viv reviews #extended speech act #wayward son #rainbow rowell

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ecoamerica · 19 days

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Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

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smokeybrandreviews · 4 years

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Smokey brand Postmortem: There Should Have Been More Than One

It's been a few days since I've seen The Old Guard. It was an entertaining movie, overall, but not a great experience. As a film, it's mediocre. There are a lot of problems with it, way too many leaps in logic for me to be comfortable with. The supporting cast was just there to fill scenes around Charlize. No one felt like a real person. The dialogue was crazy poor. It felt like it was written instead of something that actual people would say. You can definitely tell everyone was reading from a script. I can give credit where it's due, though; Most of the supporting cast was pretty good with what they had to work with but therein lies the biggest issue with this film; There wasn't much to work with. Charlize was great, of course, but she had literally all of the screen time. We never got to know anyone else outside of exposition dumps and forced, interpersonal, conflict. Hell, the flashbacks Andy, Charlize's character and main protagonist, had with the Asian chick seemed like a better movie than what we got. And don't get me started on the chick who played Nile. She was THE WORST! I posted an entire review a few days about if you're curious about the detailed critiqued because that's not what this is. This is how I would fix what The Old Guard left broken.

Issue: Kiki Layne

Kiki Layne is the worst thing about this movie, but not the most pressing. She's bad at her job and I have no idea why. It could have been nerves. It could be that Charlize is so good at her job she completely mitigates anything Kiki was trying to do. It could have been the atrocious writing. It could have been any number of things. Either way, at the end of the say, she was terrible as Nile and it made it extremely difficult for me to buy the realism of her character.

Fix 1: Recast Kiki

She felt like a diversity hire to begin with. This whole movie felt like a diversity hire. Charlize is about inclusivity and considering she was not only the lead but also a producer, this thing was effectively her, using that clout to give others the opportunity to shine that maybe were overlooked for certain, ethnic or gender biases, while cobbling together a franchise for herself outside of the Hollywood machine. I respect that. I love that. Give that opportunity to someone who can do something with it because Kiki Layne was awful in this.

Issue: Poor Writing

The biggest issue I have with this movie is how sh*t the writing is. My goodness, is this stuff bad, man. If Kiki weren't in this flick, the poor screenplay would be the biggest issue but it gets a pass because Layne's performance is that jarring. A friend of mine tried to fight me about this movie, saying it was great and was used to set up a franchise so it's an origin story. That's actually the next issue but it's kind of tied to the writing so it get the third spot.

Fix 2: Rewrite the script a few more times

The script definitely needed at least one more revision. The entire conflict of this story hinges on Andy doing something she would never do. We don't know that in the beginning when we're introduced but, as the film goes on an we learn about this character, that initial mistake seems more and more out of character. Andy is, at least, two thousand years old, probably older. She lost the first person who matched her lifespan to traitorous humans. She's lived her life, ever since, cautious of everything they do. Andy works in the shadows and has had hundreds, probably thousands, of years of practice at this sh*t. You're telling me she walks into an ambush like that? For real? That's how you choose to start your film? Look, if the main conflict of your entire narrative can't be initiated without a completely ignoring core aspects of your protagonist, maybe give your story the once over and figure out how to organically make those events occur? I'm not even going to touch upon how wasted Chiwetel Ejiofor or how one dimensional the main antagonist is portrayed.

Issue: Franchise baiting

This movie is definitely a pitch for a franchise or a series. That's why it was made. That's what it feels like. This is Charlize's retirement plan. She can star in a few, build a brand, and seed the reins to her chosen successor while staying on as producer. She keeps getting checks, the production train keeps rolling, everyone gets paid. That's fine. I don't mind a perpetual money machine. The thing about this is that it's mad lazy. This is a terrible start and would have been dead on arrival if it were released in theaters. Netflix is the saving grace of this mediocre nonsense. Id this is the origin story, it should have been better.

Fix 3: John Wick that sh*t

John Wick is what this movie wanted to be but the writing wasn't there to pull it off. Compare those two. Both of them are small budget, action flicks, who gave you a taste of a world in hopes to build a franchise. So why is John Wick an infinitely better film? Because it's infinitely better written. That world makes sense. Those characters feel real. You don't have to take massive leaps in character motivation just get the conflict of your film going. That first movie leaves a narrative thread that can be picked up, and it was to the tune of two sequels, a fourth in development, and a companion television series, for later. The first John Wick is a small, intimately personal story that slowly expands as the world grows. This is what The Old Guard should have been. It is exactly what the Old Guard is not. The Old Guard tried to do too much, in too little time. They fell into the same trap the DC did. This first movie should have been a smaller, more focused tale. It should have been about Andy finding Nile. Keep it focused on that individual narrative. Keep it intimate. You can explore Andy's whole "never get close" mentality, really dig into that survivors guilt about Quynh while building conflict with Nile, who is literally thrust into a impossible situation with which she has no choice but to reconcile. That, right there, is enough to build a brilliant narrative that feels grounded, organic, and dynamic. Have Chiwetel Ejiofor on the hunt for the duo. Have his character, Copley, one step behind the entire time, learning more and more about Andy's life. The three of them could occasionally cross paths, maybe witnessing a resurrection or something but never actually accomplishing a meeting or capture, to give his motivation in the sequel some teeth. The fact that Andy and Nile kept slipping through his fingers would give him motivation enough to reach out to Pharma for better resources. Give the traitor, Booker, a cameo or a small part in this initial outing to establish Andy's trust in him.

Make that telegraphed betrayal worth it instead of some throw away bullsh*t. Use his appearance to not only establish her trusting affection for dude, but hint at the other member of the Guard as well. You don't need to see them just yet, that's for the sequel, but an acknowledgment that they're out in the world is enough. In the sequel, when you open up to the larger group, there is an emotional resonance to these people and you don't have to spend eighty percent of your run time establishing Andy. You would have already done that, given Nile mad agency, made Copley a real threat, and shown us more of Quynh. You can use the majority of the next flick to flesh out everyone else during the runtime of the sequel. Hell, the sequel can be this exact movie, but since you did the legwork before with my pitch, the events don't seem so obtusely stupid or out of place. If my movie had been made before this one, the writing would have felt organic. It would have felt like an organic continuation rather than a rushed introduction.

#Smokey brand Postmortem #The Old Guard

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smokeybrand · 4 years

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Smokey brand Postmortem: There Should Have Been More Than One

Issue: Kiki Layne

Kiki Layne is the worst thing about this movie, but nt the most pressing. She's bad at her job and I have no idea why. It could have been nerves. It could be that Charlize is so good at her job she completely mitigates anything Kiki was trying to do, it could have been any number of things. Either way, at the end of the say, she was terrible as Nile and it made it extremely difficult for me to buy the realism of her character.

Fix 1: Recast Kiki

She felt like a diversity hire to begin with. Charize is about inclusivity and considering she was not only the lead but also a producer, this thing was effectively her, using that clout to give others the opportunity to shine that maybe were overlooked for certain, ethnic or gender biases, while cobbling together a franchise for herself outside of the Hollywood machine. I respect that. I love that. Give that opportunity to someone who can do something with it because Kiki Layne is awful.

Issue: Poor Writing

Fix 2: Rewrite the script a few more times

Issue: Franchise baiting

Fix 3: John Wick that sh*t

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protect-lesbian-yang · 5 years

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Yang is a lesbian, hasn’t had a relationship before, and is far smarter than you give her credit for - the essay

Before I get into this, if you haven’t already, you need to read this post by the amazing @honeyby, it’s extremely detailed, and in a way, it’s what inspired this blog as a whole. That post led to many passionate rants about Yang’s mistreatment by the FNDM. So let’s get into it!

Yang as a whole is probably the most misrepresented character in the show. That’s not to say that every portrayal is wrong, just that... many people seem to fixate on certain aspects of her character. Many people seem to think she’s just... a blonde air headed bimbo slut, who communicates solely through puns and barely knows how to read. Bleh

To start things off, yes. She is extroverted, confident, fun loving, cracks jokes. That’s part of why we love her. But she’s also probably the most mature member of team RWBY, and also the smartest, which is something that’s far too often overlooked

She’s clearly a brilliant mechanical engineer, having made Ember Celica (which are deceptively complex and ingenious, even compared to everyone else’s weapons), and she’s able to maintain her bike. It’s quite possible that she built it herself, and even if she hasn’t, I have no doubt that she’d have modified and painted it

And that leads to another point. We’ve seen the art team RWBY are capable of. Ruby drew professor Port, Weiss drew Sun. Both were... bad caricatures at best. Blake was able to draw Adam very well, and then we have Yang. She drew Qrow’s symbol on the board while telling Blake her story, and did so perfectly. And we know she’s just as talented with spray paint

But that’s only scratching the surface of her intelligence. Overlooking the elephant in the room. She got into Beacon. The proper way. All by herself. And when we see team RWBY in class, she’s upright and paying attention. She’s a model student, undoubtedly getting straight A’s. Just look at her!

And now we get to the fun part. She did all this, became a perfect, smart student and a brilliant mechanical engineer... while caring for and essentially raising Ruby. Have a moment to take that in. She’s extremely caring, understanding, compassionate, I would go as far as saying maternal. She’s definitely the mum of team RWBY, the responsible one, the one others can always rely on. She always puts others first. And yet, she still excels in school work

It’s also quite clear to me that Yang, again despite FNDM’s perception of her, really enjoys reading and stories. That’s not even counting the textbook, research, homework etc. Just... stories. Ruby loves those. I wonder who read to her when she was little? When Yang was basically raising her by herself? You can say it’s just speculative, but if you ask me, it’s all there for us to see

She empathised with the Faunus plight even before she knew Blake was one, she listens intently in class, she’s only made like... one or two puns canonically in the show. She’s smart, compassionate and sensitive

Now... this will probably ruffle some feathers, but honestly, I don’t care. After all, this is the Protect Lesbian Yang Gang

I wholeheartedly believe that Yang is a lesbian. I know people are gonna start screaming about how she made that one comment about guys, that obviously means she’s straight as a laser beam! Listen. Sit down. Get some crayons out, take notes

First off, that comment. It’s so clear to me that she didn’t actually mean it. She was teasing her little sister, it was a joke. At Ruby’s expense. And moments later, she was dragging her sister along to have an excuse to talk to a pretty girl

And every other instance in the show... there are so many playful, flirtatious moments. All the smirks and teasing in the forest when she and Blake became partners, “I love it when you’re feisty”, that wink, inviting Blake to the dance, then staying alone for the rest of the night, despite being YANG XIAO fucking LONG, extroverted, confident, she could have had anyone

Then the fall of Beacon, the tears in her eyes as she leapt to try to save Blake, the heartbreak of being abandoned... the entirety of it. Anyone who denies Yang being in love with Blake is straight up delusional

As for men?

Oh boy. Let’s look at the pro and con, shall we? Pro, we have... that one comment made to Ruby. Which we’ve established was a joke made at Ruby. So, I’m not quite sure that counts

Con? Let’s see... we have, literally every single interaction with men. She’s had passengers on the back of her bike. The men weren’t allowed to get close. Not just Shay D Mann, but even Neptune, who was actually a friend. It’s not a friend thing, it’s a guy thing. She doesn’t want to be touched. Sure, she teased Junior. Then she grabbed his nuts, and only then did she smile, while he’s in pain

Literally every interaction she’s actually had with male characters, her attitude is basically “Urgh, go away”, JUST LOOK AT HER, does that look like the face of someone into men? That’s her, every. single. time.

Anyone who still thinks she’s attracted to men, and denies that she’s in love with Blake is invited to a fight. We’re ready to throw the fuck down

And now, the last... misrepresented quality of Yang. I suppose this is the most theoretical, but I think everything in the show, everything that we know about her as a character backs it up. For some reason, people seem to think that she gets around, that she’s the kind of girl that goes to every party and makes out with at least 3 people each time, ending up in bed. The kind of girl that has dated loads and has dozens of exes

That... could not be further from her character. And the main point to make here is... how? When? Between raising Ruby and being an upstanding student, I really don’t see her having a relationship. She didn’t have the time

And even if she did, I don’t think she would have. For the same reason I don’t see her as the type of girl to have one night stands. She wants something... serious, meaningful, intimate. She has abandonment issues, it would take her so much effort to open herself up to someone, become vulnerable. That’s what she’s currently learning to do with Blake. Now that... other concerns are out of the way, and she really has time for love

I don’t think she’s had relationships in the past. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if she hasn’t slept with anyone before, or perhaps even kissed

And there you have it. That’s why I think Yang is a lesbian, why I think she isn’t that experienced in relationships and sex, and why I know she’s far, far smarter than FNDM give her credit for. Thanks for coming to my TED talk

#rwby #rwby6 #yang xiao long #bumbleby #mod coco

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kirkminihane · 4 years

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Post about the best twenty moments from my show

from a big fan on Twitter:

Top 20 Storylines/Moments in Kirk Minihane Show History

20. Intern Nick promotes Jon from Scranton working with Entercom and Kirk explodes 4/17/20 Mike walks out

This particular show started off with a bang as Kirk promised to fire whoever made a fateful instagram post and then immediately backed down, by the end of the show Mike was so worn down he just left.

19. Kirk Is Done With Gerry Callahan, But This Time for Real? 2/16/20

There have been highs and lows with Kirk's former partner Gerry Callahan, including brilliant dissections of what Gerry continues to do on his highly rated podcast co-hosted with Dave Cullinane. Kirk blew up at Gerry's disloyalty and various negative things Gerry had done to Steve and a lot came out.

18. Kirk and Big Cat for the first time 10/8/19

Dan Katz may have abandoned Kirk in his time of need, but he is tolerably entertaining and his chemistry with Kirk would have been monetized by a competent company. There was a reunion at the Super Bowl.

17. Kirk bails on the show during Kelleher Appearance 11/1/19, plus Kirk names Kelleher designated survivor 10/28/19 Kelleher's first appearance 9/9/19

The tension between Kirk and KMS superfan Rich Kelleher makes for great radio as Kirk literally knows everything Rich is going to say before he says it. Lots of funny stuff here.

16. Menners can't handle calls, Kirk consistently hates Mayo with the storm of a thousand suns

Justin's pathetic speech to the listeners, Menners' sensitivity with his restaurant, and the fact that Kirk unblocked Mayo just to later block him again make the machinations of the show's YouTube channel ripe for comedy, including the drama over the stolen YouTube views.

15. Should Blind Mike Be on The Kirk Minihane Show? 11/27/19

The first of a continuing conversation about why Mike is bad on the show and yet Kirk can't find anyone to replace him, so just tortures him.

14. Kirk arrives in Miami to start trouble, but Dave says, "You're Just Here To Do Radio"

Kirk's frustration with Barstool began at the Super Bowl when Dave Portnoy shut down various "humorous" plans, like Mike was going to go in a drag bar and pretend it was media row, I'm sure the audio would have been awful. Kirk was completely quiet during a Rob Gronkowski interview and he and Barstool golf "personality" Riggs haven't spoken since. A monumental week of radio.

13. RA Minihane gets Abraham Hands in the Boston Globe

Kirk charged listeners to get fake stories in the Boston Globe, stories that were obviously made up but the Globe didn't bother to check out. So they published a nonsensical coronavirus anecdote from someone named Abraham Hands who was concerned about stolen pizza money. All the credit in the world to beloved parody account RA Minihane. Just an absurdly funny moment.

12. Cullen episode is TV show written by Kirk 4/30/20

Kirk quickly wrote this satire of legendary fraud Boston Globe reporter Kevin Cullen that plays out through forty minutes of an old radio serial. Great production from Steve Robinson. As Kirk said, no other podcast could do this, and no other podcast would even attempt something as ambitious. It's really amazing Kevin Cullen is still working at a newspaper.

11. Kirk goes to war with Mariah Carey's fans, the Lambily

The sheer absurdity of this feud exemplified the silly side of the show I believe they should have embraced more while at Barstool. Just madness.

10. Kirk navigates anger between Mike and Steve 12/2/19

So Kirk went to lunch with Adam Minihane and Steve, and got Steve to say a lot of things about how he doesn't like Mike on the show. The next morning Kirk brilliantly exposed Steve to Mike, sparking genuine anger between them. An episode I could listen to a million times because it's just a genius completely understanding his friends and how they relate to each other, and yet staying quiet enough to let them figure it out for themselves.

9. Blind Mike wants to be fired 1/2/20 Portnoy Hates Blind Mike 1/28/20

Mike was an intern at Barstool Sports years ago, and his whining, pitying attitude towards work and life irritated something in Dave Portnoy. Psychologists have speculated that it is something within Dave that he hates about himself; in any case, Mike's continued frustration with being hated by the place he loves is exposed by Kirk to great humor.

8. Kirk ends Kelleher and solves Pizzagate 11/12/19

When Kirk is mad he pops on with a fifty minute episode, the length he is contractually obligated to Barstool to fulfill. Here he excommunicates a big fan and destroys listeners who think the show appropriated funds meant to create a disparaging billboard of Bob Murchison. Just awesome precision of anger from Kirk.

7. Kirk and Mike make fun of Cullinane handing the show off to Steve 7/26/19

For some reason Steve took a three week vacation as soon as the show started, which left Kirk with an impressive fill-in, Boston-area producer Dave Cullinane. Here, Kirk and Mike riffed about what an English-accented Cullinane might say to Steve upon his return.

6. The Protest in Woburn Finishes Murchison, But Blind Mike Drank Too Much, Unexpected Live Show 11/4/19 Plus Steve vs. Linda Part II 11/5/2019

The Kirk Minihane Show planned a rally in Bob Murchison's hometown. Rich Kelleher made himself the center of attention, arousing Kirk's ire, and Mike was fed drink after drink by the Minifans, ensuring he was a slurred mess for an impromptu live show. This was the first indication fame was getting to Mike's head.

5. Mike and Will completely screw up disrupting Red Sox Truck Day event 2/4/20

Mike's best story on the show was the disastrous recap of his evening trying to shout down Sam Kennedy and getting kicked out of a Red Sox media event. Neither he or intern Will thought to record any of it.

4. Kirk Wanted Mike to Go on a Florida Trip But He's Busy With Alba 6/1/20-6/4/20

Intern Will and the guy behind the Latino Kirk Minihane parody account decided to go to Florida. To torture Mike, Kirk pretended he wanted Mike to go at the last minute. When Mike asked Alba to reschedule a birthday party for his work trip, she threatened to end the relationship. A rollercoaster made out of nothing.

3. Mike tells Francesa that Dave has coronavirus 3/31/20

Mike had been making tremendously unfunny calls to Francesa for a few months, but when he announced that his boss Dave Portnoy had coronavirus, Dave had to be convinced by Big Cat not to fire Mike. The complete lack of loyalty from one Erika Nardini was noted by Kirk, as he saved Mike's job again.

2. Steve's No Good, Very Bad Morning In Watertown 1/16/20, 1/17/20, plus Steve deletes missing audio 2/24/20

For some reason Steve forgot to cut up a stunt where Kirk tried to get into Fenway Park, and Kirk subjects him to two hours of listener calls. One of the funniest moments ever in radio.

1. Mike gets drunk in Madawaska 2/11/20, including Mike and the Minifans 2/7/20 and DEC's 2/7/20 appearance on the show

If Steve's Reckoning was the best Shakespearan comedy of The Kirk Minihane Show, this was its Hamlet. Mike gets drunk for the second time during a crucial live show that Kirk hilariously sited in Madawaska, Maine, right near the Canadian border. Minifans showed up anyway, but they saw a terrible show due to Mike. Kirk was so mad he banged his head against his steering wheel. In response, Kirk puts Mike through the wringer in an empathetic way.

#posts about me from twitter

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comic-movieheroesranked · 6 years

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Cinematic Comic Characters Ranked! (Year 2011) Part III

This year I think has the most characters ranked so far, and all from movies introducing brand new characters. X-Men franchise gets a reboot with X-Men: First Class; The MCU welcomes the additions of Thor and Captain America: The First Avenger; DC Comics introduces Green Lantern, and we also get The Adventures of Tintin, Cowboys & Aliens, The Green Hornet, and Priest. Here’s #40-21!

*SPOILER ALERT FOR THE HIGHLIGHTED MOVIES ABOVE*

40. Erik Selvig (Thor)

"Anyone who's ever going to find his way in this world, has to start by admitting he doesn't know."

Erik is a wise man of science who helps Jane work on her projects. Despite not believing Thor's story one bit when the god arrives to Earth, he still helps Jane rescue him and even leaves some words of advice to Thor that helps him understand what it means to be a king. He's a good guy so it sucks to see that by the post-credits scene, when he's talking to Nick Fury, he's been possessed by Loki himself.

39. Ivan Ivanovitch Sakharine (The Adventures of Tintin)

"Nothing I do is an accident!"

A villain on a quest for revenge in his great ancestor's name. Sakharine had every move and action planned out to find the lost treasure of the unicorn but didn't quite predict Tintin's involvement. Despite all his efforts, he's unable to complete his mission and loses to Haddock just like his ancestor did.

38. Benjamin Chudnofsky (The Green Hornet)

"My gun has two barrels. That's not boring."

The big bad villain of the film, Chudnofsky is just a crime boss who is going through a mid-life crisis. Turns out that being scary means a lot more than just killing everyone who crosses you. He learned the younger generations want something a little more flashy. He tries but it's kinda like when a father tries to hang out with his teenage son at a party. It just doesn't work. However, he's still a violent being who takes out a lot of people but in all honesty, he can't be that impressive when he couldn't even kill Britt on his own. Sure, Britt had Kato, who managed to deliver the killing blow to the crime lord, but if he was as bad as wanted to be, he would've had no issues.

37. Lenore Case (The Green Hornet)

"If you even look at my ass again I'll sue you for sexual harassment."

Geez how did this girl even want to work as Britt's assistant after finding out what a complete douche he was? His attempts at flirty were so pervy you just couldn't help but feel bad for Case. Kato didn't really help either and if I were in her shoes I'd let the cops take them both down. But for some reason she helps them and decides to continue to help them keep the city safe by the end of the film.

36. Azazel (X-Men: First Class)

"Damn it."

In my opinion, Azazel is Shaw's most dangerous assassin in the Hellfire Club. Not only can he teleport but he's also a master at wielding a long blade. The combination of the two really shows when he kills most of the government agents protecting the X-Men by himself. His combat skills are so impressive that he's able to take on Beast and Havok at the same time. He apparently can't take a punch though, as it only takes one from Beast to knock him out. When everything's said and done, Azazel joins Magneto's Brotherhood.

35. Thaal Sinestro (Green Lantern)

"Are you afraid?"

With his mentor dead, Sinestro seems to be the strongest member of the Corps alive, but he's faced with a lot. Even with his skill he can't seem to defeat Parralax, who keeps destroying planets with his powers of fear. Worse, he strongly feels like Hal isn't fit to be a Lantern so in an act of desperation turns to the Guardians to find another source of power to defeat his foe. The source is fear, the opposite force of willpower, the very essence of what it means to be a Green Lantern. Despite Hal proving willpower can overcome fear, at the end of the film, Sinestro still puts on the yellow ring, becoming the first member of the Yellow Lanter Corps.

34. Black Hat (Priest)

"After all, if you're not committing sin then you're not having fun."

Black Hat used to be a priest who was taken down during an attack on a vampire hive that went wrong. Instead of killing him, the vampire queen feeds him her blood instead and turns him into the first vampire-human hybrid, containing the skills of a priest and power of a vampire. This makes him dangerous as he leads an overwhelming army of vampire to kidnap Lucy, Priest's daughter, and destroy towns full of humans. He also proved his power by killing three priests on his own as well as nearly taking out Priest towards the films climax. However, Priest had help in the form of Hicks and Priestess and was able to see Black Hat burn up in flames at the last second.

33. Laufey (Thor)

"Go now, while I still allow it."

Man was this guy a huge let down. I truly thought Laufey was going to be the big bad villain of the movie, but turns out he was just another pawn in Loki's ultimate plan to rule Asgard. King of the Frost Giants, he's definitely not to be messed with, but he puts his faith in his son and when he goes to kill Odin in his sleep, Loki betrays him and blasts him to dust.

32. Hector Hammond (Green Lantern)

"How wonderful that all it took for you to grow up was the end of the world."

I almost did want to feel bad for all the crap Hector seemed to be getting from his dad his entire life, but all of that went out the window when the first thing he does when he sees Carol is sniff her hair. The dude is weird, jealous, and entitled so of course he ends up getting possessed by Parralax and granted these psychic powers that comes with a disturbing physical appearance. He gets his revenge on his students, his dad, even Hal for a bit before the other male manages to trick him into wearing the ring. The ring doesn't recognize him and backfires on him and when Parralax shows up and sees him wearing the weapon of his sworn enemy? Yeah Hector died real quick after that.

31. Thomson and Thompson (The Adventures of Tintin)

"To be precise, you are under arrest!"

These two are pure comedy. Not only for how they exchanged words with each other, but because they were absolutely horrible at doing their jobs yet, oddly enough, seemed to be at the right place at the right time to help Tintin save the day. I mean the two were literally at the house of the kleptomaniac they were after and were arguing AGAIST him on how he wasn't their suspect. If that isn't what you call a pure comedic mess I don't know what is.

30. Britt Reid/The Green Hornet (The Green Hornet)

"Everyone knows, you corner a hornet, you get stung."

I hated Britt. He's almost exactly like Bruce Wayne when it comes to being rich, having dead parents, and then deciding to become a superhero, but his arrogance, rudeness, and in-capabilities with mental and physical prowess proved this dude could never be on Batman's level. There was just so many times that he would screw everything up that you just wanted him to fail because it was frustrating to see someone as annoying as him save the day.

29. Parralax (Green Lantern)

"Once I have devoured your world I will have all the strength I need to defeat the Corps and destroy the Guardians."

A former Guardian, Parralax wanted to use the power of fear instead of willpower, making him an easy enemy of the Green Lantern Corps. After his first defeat, he returns stronger than ever, devouring planets through their inhabitant's fear. He nearly destroys Earth as well until Hal manages to fight him off, tricking him into being pulled in into the sun and burns away. His legacy in fear lives on though, once Sinestro slips on the yellow ring that is fused with his powers.

28. Woodrow Dolarhyde (Cowboys & Aliens)

"Get off my plains!"

At first Dolarhyde seemed like a huge asshole that let his son terrorize a town just because he was rich and that he was actually going to be an obstacle Jake would have to face during his war with the aliens, but the latter never happened. Dolarhyde was quick to band together with the others, only really showing disobedience when it came to working with the Native Americans which, granted, was only because they had just taken him prisoner. He proves to be a good shot during the final fight and even saves Jake's life at the last moment inside the ship. I would have preferred Percy dying instead of Colorado and then Dolarhyde officially adopting Colorado to be his son but instead he gives Percy exactly what he wants again but at least Percy kinda stopped being a dick.

27. Alex Summers/Havok (X-Men: First Class)

"Whatever."

Havok seemed to be the member shrouded in the most mystery when he first joined the group. He was very hesitant about being around everyone and they quickly knew why, his energy blasts are out of control. After the death of his good friend Darwin, he decides to focus on his destructive blasts but still can't manage to do it. Even though he mocks Hank to no end, the brilliant scientist helps create a device that helps him control the blasts. He holds his own when the X-Men go up against the Hellfire Club and he officially stays with Xavier after Magneto kills Shaw.

26. Carol Ferris (Green Lantern)

"You don't think I would recognize you because I can't see your cheekbones?"

Carol Ferris is a strong fighter pilot, a smart businesswoman, and Hal Jordan's ex-girlfriend. While it's clear she still cares about him, she just can't take him seriously. She's even smart enough to realize the Green Lanter is Hal, but I mean she makes a good point on him not really having a big disguise. Her bravery matches her brain power too, when she saves Hal from death by blasting some missiles at Parralax and giving him the opportunity he needs to save the day.

25. Johann Schmidt/Red Skull (Captain America: The First Avenger)

"Hail, HYDRA."

This guy takes having a God complex to a whole other level. He wants the world at his feet and in order to do so he needs power. So he creates HYDRA and joins Hitler and the German Nazis to find it. He becomes the infamours Red Skull when he tries to take the super soldier serum and his body rejects it. Even though he's really intimidating at times, he never really accomplishes anything. When his plan fails and Captain America defeats him, he grabs the tesseract and it seems to kill him with it's sheer power alone.

24. Ella Swenson (Cowboys & Aliens)

"I won't be around for very long."

Yeah Ella's true identity as another alien being was definitely a plot twist I didn't see coming but after learning who she really is you really got to admire her selflessness. She literally lost her entire race of aliens like her yet still went out of her way to warn and later help the humans before they were wiped out as well. She manages to help rescue all the kidnapped humans from the alien's captivity but her real shining moment comes when she sacrifices herself to detonate a huge bomb that destroys the entire alien ship, killing every single one of them. We did see her come back to life earlier so who knows if she actually stays dead this time.

23. Moira MacTaggert (X-Men: First Class)

"You're your own team now. You're X-Men."

Moira is a great CSI agent. As soon as she discovers that the Hellfire Club is full of mutants, she goes and finds herself an expert on one. She holds no prejudice like most humans in her era which is probably why Charles starts developing feelings for her. Despite being the only human on the team, she does her best to fight Shaw and even Magneto when he proves to be a huge threat, firing several bullets at him, one of which ends up paralyzing Charles from the waist down. Afterwards, for the safety of him and his students, her memory is wiped clean for when she's interrogated by the CSI.

22. Sif, Vostagg, Hogun, Fandral (Thor)

"We must find Thor."

Sif and the Warriors Three are some of Asgard's greatest warriors and Thor's best friends. They're loyalty is shown all throughout the film when they travel with Thor to confront the Frost Giants and when they disobey Loki and travel to Earth to bring Thor back to Asgard after his banishment. They each have their own unique qualities and abilities that brings something good to the table, but it's only when they all work together that they really become a strong force of Asgardian warriors.

21. James 'Bucky' Barnes (Captain America: The First Avenger)

"This isn't a back alley, Steve. It's war!"

Steve's best friend who's looked out for him his entire life before he joins the army. He reunites with Steve after he becomes Captain America and rescues him from a HYDRA facility. Bucky really becomes that sense of home for Steve, but I couldn't help but feel a little hint of jealousy in him? I mean I think he was so used to being the better man and then all of a sudden Steve is the face of the US army. Don't get me wrong, I think he cared about Steve one hundred percent but I think it was a hurt ego that made him try to rush that giant machine with Steve's shield before he gets blasted away and falls to his apparent death.

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ladyslounge-blog-blog · 5 years

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Sophistication, Success and Serial Killers

My idol, Julia Cameron, includes this exercise in a few of her brilliant books, The Artist's Way, the Sound of Paper and perhaps some others, where she encourages her reader to visit their own perceptions of what items for them could serve as a token of success. I have taken it a step further and included things that maybe aren't physical or tangible items. I do this exercise often and the list items change from time to time but basically my list of 25 symbols of sophistication and success might look something like this: An organized wallet A newspaper subscription A nice watch A good credit score Manicured and Pedicured at all times Monthly hair appointments Wine savvy Up to date on current events Wears a belt Polished shoes A non-expired driver's licence A savings account with actual money in it Impeccable handwriting Well trained dog (if you have a dog. Not get a dog and train it, but if you already have a dog, it doesn't jump up or go ballistic when somebody comes to the door, and doesn't try to eat other dogs for trying to share the sidewalk with her etc...) Clothes that aren't made up 80% of cat hair Is punctual Has a life plan / action plan /mind map taking up half the basement wall made up of chalkboard paint and post it notes but in an organized and grown-up yet whimsical and not at a all OCD/stalker/serial killer way

Phone isn't almost always at 1% battery life Knows where key are Knows where (organized) wallet is Doesn't have oppositional defiance disorder Goes to the dentist for check-ups and cleanings when they call to remind them that it's time. Doesn't argue with themselves about whether or not it is bedtime and then stay up way too late watching Netflix and wonder why they're so exhausted all the next day, pausing repeatedly to search "fatigue" on webMD Doesn't search anything on webMD ever Washes face before bed instead of smearing off excess eyeliner from yesterday and pretending they are responsibly prioritizing and economizing on time by counting what's left of it as today's make-up. The idea is to scan your list and just select one symbol by which you can celebrate your soigné adulthood. Desperate to be sophisticated but too lazy to think of your own list? Prefer to follow a clearly outlined step-by-step guide? You're in luck! According to the wikiHow staff While "Sophistication means more than just smoking a thin cigarette in a French café while discussing your latest trip to an art gallery." this online document illustrating (literally) how-to steps will get you fast tracked to sophistication in no time at all! Okay, it's not actually just a few simple steps. there are 4 parts to the process with several steps in each so I did you the favour of giving it a quick browse and grabbing what are clearly the most important steps of each part. Ready? Part 1 - Getting the Look Keep your face looking sophisticated. Both men and women should keep their faces looking sophisticated and well-groomed. Here’s what they should do: Women should wear some makeup to show that they’ve made an effort, but not so much that they end up hiding their natural features. Just a touch of eye shadow and liner and lipstick or lip gloss will do; there’s no need to throw on fake eyelashes or layers of blush. Men should keep their faces looking fresh, but they can keep their beards or just a little bit of stubble. You don’t have to be free of facial hair to look sophisticated. A beard can even make you look more sophisticated, especially if you have some gray in your beard. Part 2 - Talking the talk Avoid discussing any subjects that make people uncomfortable. Knowing what not to say is just as important as knowing what you should not talk about. Though you shouldn’t completely censor yourself and end up sounding like another person, if you want to sound sophisticated, then you have to avoid discussing subjects that make people cringe, roll their eyes, or generally feel like leaving the room. Here are some subjects that you should avoid talking about if you want to sound sophisticated: How much money you make Bodily functions Your latest hookup How drunk you got last night Part 3 - Picking Up Sophisticated Interests Be well-read. Being well-read is a must if you want to be truly sophisticated. Having some knowledge about classic works of literature as well as contemporary works will make you a more well-rounded, interesting, and sophisticated person. Though it’s hard to make room for reading in your busy schedule, try to read at least 2-3 books a month, or more, if you can make time for it. Here are some ways to be a more well-read person: Stop watching silly TV shows and curl up with a good book instead; stop listening to pop music and listen to an audio book on the way to work. Join a book club. This will motivate you to read regularly. Read the books on the Modern Library’s 100 best novels list. Read widely. Don’t just read fiction, non-fiction, or books written about America. Read books of different genres that represent different cultures. Make a list of books you want to read by the end of the next New Year. See how many you can check off your list. If you want to sound sophisticated, make sure you know that the writer George Eliot is a woman, and that the writer Evelyn Waugh is a man. Learn to pronounce the names of French writers. For example, Proust is pronounced “Proost,” to rhyme with “roost.” Appreciate wine. Drinking wine does not mean chugging a box of Franzia in your college’s parking lot before the big football game. It means knowing how to appreciate wine from different regions, and learning how to recognize different types of wine and the different flavors that you can find in a glass of wine. Here are some things you will need to master if you want to be sophisticated: The different types of wine. Cabernet, Merlot, Pinot Noir, and Zinfandel are some common red wines you may encounter; Chardonnay, Sauvignon Blanc, Riesling, and Pinot Grigio are some white wines you may drink. Wine tasting. To taste wine, swirl it around, smell it gently, and then take a small, thoughtful sip. Don’t down the whole glass without noticing the richness of the flavors. Pairing wine with foods. White wine tends to go better with certain fish, while red wine can bring out the flavors in a rich steak. Dessert wines. If you’re really into wine, you can enjoy a glass of sherry or port after your meal. Don’t drink this wine during your main meal. Identifying flavors. Does the wine taste oaked, not oaked, earthy, or fruit-forward? Can you detect a hint of chocolate, blackberries, or oranges? You’ll have a refined palate with practice. Chilling your wine. White wine should be cold; red wine should be kept out of the refrigerator. Don’t put ice cubes in your white wine to cool it down unless you want to look unsophisticated. Aerating your wine. Let your red wine breathe for a few minutes before you drink it. Better yet, pour it into a decanter or even pour it through an aerator into a glass. Part 4 - Acting Sophisticated Avoid getting visibly intoxicated in public. It’s sophisticated to sip a glass of Rosé or white wine on your patio and keep up witty conversation—it’s not sophisticated to be seen stumbling around a bar, falling into stools and not being able to keep your food down. If you want to be sophisticated and have embarrassing drinking habits, then it’s time to change your ways. The next time you go out, stick to having just one or two drinks, or to drinking until you feel slightly buzzed and then stopping. If you want people to think you’re sophisticated, although it goes deep down within yourself, then people will take you seriously, and nobody takes a person who can’t hold his liquor very seriously. Spend time with sophisticated people. Sophisticated company will improve your level of sophistication. You shouldn’t drop all of your friends at a moment’s notice just because they aren’t as sophisticated as you’d like them to be; you should, however, make a goal of hanging out with more cultured, interesting, and open-minded people so that you can improve your own level of thinking. You can meet sophisticated people at book clubs, book readings, gallery openings and events, poetry readings, concerts, or at any art-inspired events. I don't know about you guys but I'm super inspired to get sophisticated now that I know how easy and straight forward it is; To the point where I have re-written my own personal list of symbols of sophistication. Stop going out looking like a drag queen Stop talking about poop Cancel my Netflix account, quit my job and take up full time reading Develop a very strong dependancy on wine without chugging boxes of Franzia in my college’s parking lot before the big football games. Only drink alone and in private. Hang out with other unemployed alcoholics who wear modest amounts of make-up/beardage who don't talk about poop and have lots of words, all the words, the best words. *For access to the rest of the steps, so that you can become a truly sophisticated person, follow this link: https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Sophisticated Read the full article

#Sophistication #Success

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kay-emm-gee · 7 years

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Wellven post-S3? just Wells helping Raven deal with the aftermath of ALIE and, you know, trying to save the world?

this i promise you

a/n: Working with the premise in this edit.

Raven plowed through the mess hall crowd, swearing at anyone who came close to knocking her plate of food to the floor. With the world ending (again) and them having to save it (again), she didn’t have time to do things twice. Except, well, the apocalypse-averting calculations…those she did more than twice.

She found the delinquent lunch table easily enough. So focused on starting to shovel in her meager rations, Raven had already taken a few bites before registering who besides Clarke was sitting at their table. Bellamy (of course), as well as Monty and Miller and Bryan, and diagonal from her was Wells. The neon glow of his eye caught her for a second, and she nearly choked on her potato.

She was used to the technology that was now a part of Wells, the stuff that had saved his life. (ALIE had been evil, but she knew her shit when it came to tech). Not everyone was okay with it though, but Clarke, Abby, and Kane made sure that no one bothered their resurrected friend. For her, it wasn’t the tech that made her stare at her plate instead of Wells, but rather the fact that she had seen too much of him. It was awkward enough if you happened to be sitting across from someone who you’ve seen naked; it was entirely more awkward sitting across from someone who you’ve seen the actual inner workings of, in this case literally.

There had been no one except her equipped to inspect Wells’ build and circuitry–both for longevity and for absence of influence by ALIE after her defeat. He was gracious about it, cracking soft jokes to lessen the tension of what she was doing and what she might have to do if she found traces of ALIE. There had been no ALIE to be found, and she’d made some improvements for their worsening conditions on Earth, but since then, Raven hadn’t been able to look him square in the eye. Not after sharing something so…intimate.

Irritation rose, and she huffed before taking another large bite.

“Problem?” Bellamy muttered.

Raven almost snapped at him for the comment, but when she glanced up, there was real concern in his expression. Her shoulders dropped as she realized he was worried about their actual problem–saving the world–not her very minor, ridiculous problem of being awkward around Wells.

“Nope.” She gulped her last piece of dry potato as she stood, then whisked her plate away. As she stalked out of the hall, she could feel someone’s stare following her. Raven didn’t have to turn around to know who it was.

She picked up her pace as she headed for the door.

For the third time that night, the nuclear reactor plans blurred in front of her. Raven rubbed her eyes, but they only cleared a little bit. Pressing the palms of her hands against her sockets, she sighed in exhaustion. The clock to detonation day was counting down, and she wished she felt better about their plan. It was good (of course it was good, because it was her plan) but good wasn’t perfect.

The sound of a slightly off-kilter gait with a metallic ring made her tense, but she didn’t glance up from the plans. Something was set down in front of her. She kept examining the plans. The something moved closer. Her glance traced the building outlines again and again until she couldn’t anymore, because there was a plate with cold but not entirely unappetizing food on it blocking her view.

Raven briefly closed her eyes before looking up in defeat. Wells was just standing there, hands in his pockets, his mouth twisted into a wry, shy smile.

“You weren’t at dinner,” he said quietly as she continued to stare.

“No.”

His smile widened. “So I brought you food. Because you weren’t at dinner.”

“Okay.”

“You should eat the food.”

His teasing made her roll her eyes, but Raven still pulled the plate closer and popped a bite into her mouth. It wasn’t tasty by any means, but her stomach growled happily. Suddenly she was starving, and before she knew it, she was almost finished with the meal.

“Thanks,” she managed sheepishly after swallowing her last bite.

Wells chuckled, ducking his head. “Wouldn’t do if my–our savior starved herself.”

Raven felt her cheeks flush as she registered the slip. Then she noticed how Wells had lowered his head further and was shaking it back in forth in embarrassment. It startled a laugh out of her, but one that was soft, light.

“Wells,” she drawled. His head stayed where it was. “Wells?”

He finally looked up, a little nervous. Leaning over, Raven placed her hand over his, squeezed, and smiled.

“Thank you,” she said with emphasis. Her thumb brushed once over his, and a little electric thrill went through her when he did the same. They stayed like that for who knows how long. Then, all of a sudden, it seemed like she blinked, and he was gone.

Wells came back. To bring her food, at first, then he brought company, then advice, then well-intentioned criticism. Most importantly, he gave her someone she could combat with one minute, then laugh with the next. The more days she spent with Wells–and the closer they got to boom goes the world–the more confident she became. In her plans, and in him.

So it was a heavy heart that she handed off a survival pack to him. It made sense for him to be on one of the teams headed to shut down the reactors. He understood the plans almost as well as she did. There was no one she trusted more to do the job, or to come back from it. Even so, her eyes burned with tears as Wells shouldered his pack. As she began running down her list of reminders again, he sighed.

“Raven.” Her name came out like a plea and an apology at the same time, and then he pulled her in. She didn’t crumple in his arms, even though she wanted to. It wasn’t the time; she hadn’t lost him yet. Raven had lost too many people to want to mourn them before they were really gone. Instead, she twisted her fingers into his shirt and breathed him in, deeply enough to last her until he returned.

“Come back,” was all she said. Wells kissed the top of her head in farewell, which was a promise of its own kind, because he understood more than the plans. He understood her.

They talked every night over the radio. Reporting of the team’s progress on his end and of the headway in fortifying their newly built bunker on hers always came first, but their practical conversations also always gave way to talking of other things. Raven knew it kept them both sane, that the crackle and hiss of the radio clicking on each night told them that neither of them were alone.

Then one day that crackle didn’t come, and she knew they were out of range. That was good; salvation would be upon them all soon. She knew that, but her heart still seized up with panic.

He’d come back. He had to; she wouldn’t allow herself to calculate the probability of any other possibility.

Raven never hated the slow pace that her injury imposed more than the day that Wells walked back through the gates. He was back: whole, alive, bloody but breathing, and she was moving too damn slow. As soon as he saw her charging his way, though, he was off like a shot. When he reached her, her breath left her as he swept her up into a tight embrace. His arms around her, strong and safe, opened the floodgates. She cried hard, fast, and ugly tears into his shoulders. Her nose clogged up, and she was coughing out relieved sobs as she pulled back.

His eyes were also wet, but he managed a tiny chuckle before asking, “So you missed me, huh?”

Raven couldn’t even muster up a sliver of feigned annoyance. She was too relieved, so she just grasped his face in her hands and kissed him hard. His lips were dry, blistered, but soon she couldn’t feel anything but his hands sliding across her back as he arched her towards him. Every place he touched her felt singed, and her pulse stuttered as he roughly took over the kiss. A few more tears–happy ones–leaked out, and when they both tasted them mid-kiss, they pulled back laughing.

“My savior,” she murmured, half-teasing, more than half-serious.

Wells rolled his eyes then rubbed his nose against hers. “I couldn’t have done it without you. Literally. There would be no safe place on the ground right now without you and your brilliant mind.”

She shrugged, running her fingers over his cheekbones. “I’m willing to come to an agreement about sharing credit.”

“On one condition.”

Raven raised on eyebrow.

“Next time I leave camp, it’s because I’m taking you on vacation. God knows you deserve one.”

Raven tipped her head back and laughed before nuzzling into his solid chest again, breathing easy as he embraced her tightly, lovingly.

“I’ll go anywhere you go,” she promised, and never had any truth felt so right coming from her lips.

#lightning5 #wellven #wellven fanfiction #bffnet #wellvennet #5 #my fanfiction

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shontaviajesq · 7 years

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#PopCultureClass: ShETHER Lesson #1: Just Because You're Down Doesn't Mean You're Out

So, you already know that over the weekend Remy Ma released, ShETHER, a Nicki Minaj diss track. If for some reason you missed it, and/or the backstory, head over to my earlier blog post for the summary.

ShETHER is lyrically ridiculous and had the internet ablaze on the last weekend of Black History Month 2017. Remy basically had the entire internet looking like this on Saturday:

SheETHER is also equally brilliant for multiple other reasons. For those of us who like to learn from the things happening around us, ShETHER provides enough material for a month long workshop on.....just about everything. I've put together some lessons I took from the song, because if this ain't a #PopCultureClass I don't know what is. This is the first in a series of at least four of the main lessons I took from Professor Ma.

Lesson #1: Just Because You're Down Doesn't Mean You're Out.

So...this song's very existence should have us taking notes from now until #BHM2018. For those of you new to Remy, her backstory makes ShETHER's release that much more incredible. Remy was convicted in 2008 of assault (and maybe some other things, but I don't have the energy to find the actual conviction) and served almost seven years in prison for it. She was released on August 1, 2014.

If we do the math, that means Remy has been of prison for about 2.5 years. Two. Point. Five. Years. In this short period of time, she's become one of the most popular faces on VH1, established herself and her husband as #relationshipgoals for many fans, released an album, and come to reclaim her throne as the Queen of Rap with ShETHER. ICYMI, most people have been working on just doing one of these things for their entire lives.

Re. the prison stint, Remy's side of the story is one of when keeping it real goes wrong. According to Remy, she had an entourage who used her fame to eat good, live good, and promote their own projects. Remy believed that Makeda Barnes Joseph, one of the former friends/entourage members, stole about $3,000 from her (all while living on Remy's dime). When Remy confronted Makeda, she says her gun accidentally went off and Makeda shot. Makeda, of course, has a completely different side of what happened. She says Remy shot her on purpose.

I'm not here to pass judgment on who is telling the truth. The point is that Remy is one of tens of millions of people in the U.S. who have been formerly incarcerated. Coming out and doing the things she's done in a short amount of time is incredible, regardless of who she is and what is in her past.

Why is this incredible to me? Former inmates face significant difficulties once they've been released from prison (not to mention the actual prison experience, which I'll save for another day). Check out these stats:

The psychological impact of prison is incredibly traumatic, even for short term confinement, and can actually be psychologically debilitating for many people.

Formerly incarcerated people are often not allowed to vote. In 34 states, you lose your right to vote for some period of time. In 10 of those 34 states, you can lose your right to vote for ever.

Many employers won't hire people who have been in jail. Between 60 and 75 percent of the formerly incarcerated remain unemployed up to a year after their release. Even among those who find work, they often remain under-employed for years.

Once you've been to prison, it can be almost impossible to get an education because you can't get federal grants.

Landlords don't want to rent to those who have been formerly incarcerated.

Yes, Remy was a celebrity when she went into prison and had some financial resources (her net worth has been disputed, but it was probably a few hundred thousand dollars when she went in). Maybe Remy is a good person. Maybe she's not. Who knows. Either way, that doesn't eliminate the trauma or impact of the prison experience.

Remy actually opened up last year about experiencing many of the difficulties I mentioned above in an interview with The Huffington Post:

In The Prison Community, Donald Clemmer called incarceration one of the more degrading experiences a human could endure. Given the traumatic nature of prison, I am amazed by Remy's recent two and half years. Imagine being taken from your spouse and young child (she had a son who was eight years old then) for any period of time, let alone seven years. Imagine not being able to work, shower, sleep, eat, or get dressed except when someone tells you to. Imagine being referred to as a number and not a name. This would be hard for any human.

Which is why Lesson #1 for me is that being down doesn't mean being out. Remy seemingly lost a lot during the period revolving around the incident and her incarceration. But, she kept it moving. And over the weekend she created one of the most talked about stories of 2017 and perhaps one of the most impactful diss records of our lifetimes.

To Remy's credit, she seems like a natural-born hustler. While she was in prison, she studied and got an associate degree in Sociology. In addition, according to some reports, her net worth actually continued to rise while she was in prison. This means that Remy created projects, presumably her music and writings, that would bring her income even if she wasn't actually clocking in and out of a studio or other location. And even if she was in prison for almost seven years. That is the quintessential definition of passive income.

She also stayed married to her husband, when research shows that the divorce rate for people in prison is 80% for men and nearly 100% for women. Remy has defied one odd after another. I don't care what you think about her personally, all of this is impressive. At least to me.

And so is the circumstance revolving around ShETHER. Given the likelihood that incarceration will actually kill a person's self confidence and self worth, Remy came out seemingly more confident in her skills and proudly proclaimed that she was the best. Better than everybody in the game. Including Nicki Minaj.

In an industry dominated by men, there is a dearth of rappers who are also women. One recent report indicated that the number of women rappers dropped from 40 in the 1980s and 1990s to 3 in 2010. Even MC Lyte, the first woman to have a solo rap album with a major label, thinks its bad, noting in 2014 that:

"We've gone backwards . . . . This is pretty much what it was like when women weren't able to get major recording and release opportunities."

In fact, usually only one name comes to mind in many discussions these days: Nicki Minaj. While of course there are other women rappers, Nicki is probably the most publicly popular by any number of indicators.

Last year alone, Nicki was named one of the World's Highest-Paid Women In Music by Forbes and one of Hip-Hop's Highest Earning Acts (the only woman on the list). She's also won the BET Award for Best Female Hip Hop Artist for the past six years straight and been nominated and/or won a bunch of awards, including several Grammys. There's literally a (very long) Wikipedia page dedicated to the awards she's been nominated for or received.

So for Remy to come at her, especially right now, takes a lot of cojones.

And come at her she did. Though my later articles will delve into the lyrics, the fact that this song exists at all is a testament to Remy's strength, mental toughness, and the skills stemming from the gifts innately in her. I write often about the power of knowing your value (check out some older posts here and here) and not allowing others to devalue that. If we haven't learned anything else from Remy, it is that self-worth can bring you #AllTheWayUp from your lowest points.

Remy Ma is letting everyone know she's back. Though we've yet to get a response track from Nicki, I imagine it may not matter to Remy. It doesn't seem like anything can stop her.

If you're curious about other issues associated with the American commercial prison system, please watch Ava DuVernay's documentary film, 13th, which you can find on Netflix. Check out the trailer below.

#Music

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neenjamescommunications · 7 years

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Pay Attention to Peloton (and life lessons it teaches)

Photo Courtesy of www.PelotonCycle.com

I joined a cult. All right, not quite. But close!

It started at Christmas. I blame my best friend. We were in NYC, our annual tradition, with my two adorable goddaughters and my incredibly smart (and fit), best friend. She told me about her new obsession, a Peloton. No, not the Tour de France group of riders but the sexy spin bike that people are buying for their homes. (If you haven’t already – check out their crazy-hot ads on TV.)

So, I jumped in.

Bought myself one for Christmas without any real knowledge or experience. I thought hey, I used to spin! How hard could it be? (Answer: hard but ah-mazing!)

Here’s where the message gets crazy interesting though. First, I am not the fittest person I know. To my credit, I am addicted to barre3 in my local Doylestown studio. I do love to run – but outside! This winter treadmill training is revolting! But now, putting something else in the mix? Buying the Peloton on a whim? I wasn’t sure if I would even use it. But what I DID do? Was buy the matching shoes (of course) and all the accessories so I would look cute when riding my new obsession – even though I had never done it. What does THAT tell you?

It tells you they did some things very right. Look at me. I teach branding. Productivity. Marketing. Sales. And yet? I was hooked. Addicted even. Since hopping on the Peloton bandwagon, there is literally not a day that goes by when I am not riding my bike. In fact? Some days–I ride twice. Take that a step further. When I was away on vacation recently, I used the Peloton app at the hotel gym. Yep. That hooked.

And it’s not just me. It’s the Peloton brand. It’s their business model and how they are pay ATTENTION to their community. And you know me with ATTENTION!

Here are three lessons we can all learn from the Peloton bike (and brand):

Make it Sexy. The bike is sleek, the website is easy to navigate, don’t even get me started on the instructors and their insane bodies! (For the record, Jennifer Jacobs abs are to die for.) The packaging, the language, the people and they even have their own line of clothing! That’s brilliant when you want to makes sure that everything looks and feels consistent.

Make it Fun. My friend shared with me last night an interesting fact – that internet businesses and events very often find that people ‘come for the content but stay for the community’. RIGHT? That has been the most interesting component about my Peloton purchase. In my experience? The 20K+ riders on Facebook who are like a cult, obsessed with the rides, health and the instructors in the most positive way I have ever seen. They have created a fun tribe of strangers who hold each other accountable, cheer each other along and post their wins. I have seen people raise money for to help strangers afflicted with illness, share heartache and hurt, and one girl who rode eight times in one day! (Now that’s insanity). The whole brand and experience so far has been fun (while it absolutely kicks my butt and I am breathless and unglamorous).

Make it matter. Peloton instructors regularly recognize rides with shout outs of unique rider names who are on the live rides alongside them. You can track how you are progressing against other rides on the leaderboard just so you know. Hmmm, I might be a little competitive. People share their results and post their Personal Records (PR) and the company keeps surprising subscribers with new features, new workouts (on and off the bike). Regular software updates are shared on their Facebook page before they even occur. Truth be told? It might be like what Tesla owners experience when they wake up and their software has been updated, then all of a sudden, their car can drive itself!

So, here’s my question to you: How can you Peloton? In other words, what do you need to do to make your customer experience or your product line more sexy, fun and make your audience matter? How can you pay ATTENTION to these three things that can take your organization, your brand – your business to the next level? When you answer that? You can have customers like me! Who feel like becoming part of something – the Peloton experience – is the best thing that can happen to them? I love it. I hope your team can learn from that kind of customer buy-in. Oh, and now? I’m off for another ride! Want to join me?

I’d love to hear your thoughts! Share them here and let me know what sparked your interest! I’d also like to share some strategies that can take your brand to spectacular heights. Call me today to find out the inside scoop!

The post Pay Attention to Peloton (and life lessons it teaches) appeared first on Neen James.

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culturevultureonline · 7 years

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What a place to be! full of beautiful architecture and some great food, Vienna is a perfect weekend away for both couples or a group of friends, especially in December!

I was lucky enough to go to Vienna for my birthday, not just with my hubby to be, but with my bestie and her hubby to be too!! #twinning! We went to this lovely city for 3 days and 2 nights (as usual), this consisted of 3 whole days too, although I’d suggest arriving late on the 1st day, having a full 2nd day and leaving early on the 3rd day, and as this post goes on you’ll see why!

Our first day consisted of roaming around to get a real feel for the place, and you really do! I can’t stress enough how lovely the architecture is in Vienna and there is so much of it! Some hidden away and loads more in plain sight!

The best bit about Vienna is that you can get to almost all the main attractions and beautiful architecture by walking, so no need for working out how the public transport works! The only thing is, because it is a smaller City we didn’t want to do it all in one afternoon, so after some sightseeing, we made our way back to the hotel to freshen up for our first night out!

For our first night out we’d booked a restaurant that looked pretty casual! It was called The Brewing Company and it was absolutely heaving! And rightly so!

The food was immense and the atmosphere in there was buzzing! It’s basically a restaurant on top of a brewery, and they aren’t shy with their selection of beers I can tell you that for free!

The other thing thats great there is the food! (lucky that eh?!) with a look at the menu we’d all quickly decided what we wanted and none of us were disappointed!

I know there’s loads of photo’s but seriously, look at that food!! And don’t forget the nice big pitcher of beer! (#beeristhebest) The cool thing about this place is that if you don’t want to move on, you don’t have too! You could chill here with beers all night long!

We had as many as we could stomach after a big meal then decided to go for a walk back past all the beautiful buildings and to our hotel! The hotel had a nice little bar and we had another there, before heading up to our rooms to get some kip ready for the next day… my Birthday!! (woop woop)

After a good nights sleep I woke up very happy to be in Vienna for my birthday! What better way to celebrate than to go for a nice breakfast at a hidden gem called Palmenhaus.

This place was amazing! Lovely setting, great selection of food and the decor was lovely! Now this may be biased as I was in such a good mood seeing as it was my birthday! (and I had myself a prosecco breakfast #whoops). Either way, we all enjoyed our meals there and it set us up nicely for the rest of the day!

Prater, Vienna

After a great start to the day, we made our way to the closest underground station to get us to a theme park/winter festival called Prater. We arrived there about 1pm and it was busy already!

Now I’m not the biggest fan of rides but my bestie is, so she made me go on 2 rides!! (cheeky bugger!) The first one was actually the worlds tallest swing carousel! Why I said yes I don’t know but I went on it and it was so high!!!

Photo Credit: Georgia Munroe

After that experience and another on a ride I don’t even want to re-live, we had a couple of beers at Prater then made our way back to the hotel to freshen up for my birthday night out :).

Motto Am Fluss

Motto Am Fluss is a lovely restaurant that quite literally hangs over the the river in Vienna! I would highly recommend booking here, and make sure you book for the right restaurant!! I know that sounds silly, but there is a Restaurant downstairs, and then on the 1st floor there is a terrace/cafe so keep that in mind!

So we were lucky and booked the right place… luckier than the people in front of us who did not look too happy to be walking back out the front door… (whoops). Anyway, moving on, to the food!!

We sat down and I have to say the service in here was quite good, you weren’t left waiting forever but long enough to have a chat and make some decisions! After ordering a nice bottle of white, we took to the food menu!

To start, we decided to share 2 of the sharing platters which consisted of some lovely Tuna, Salmon, Beetroot and Carpaccio which all went great with the bread you get as you arrive!

After a good start, we had another glass of wine each…maybe ordered another bottle as well, and pondered over the menu once more to decide on the mains! Now as you may know from my other posts, I love me some steak! But this time, I went for something different! I had the Osso Buco of Veal which was bloody lovely!! The future hubby and the bestie picked a lovely pasta dish which I don’t believe is on the menu anymore and my besties future hubby went for the Escalope!

The food didn’t disappoint and neither did the wine!! After a great meal we made our way back to the hotel to continue the birthday celebrations at the hotel bar!

I have to say, none of us saw or had heard of anywhere that we could go out for a proper drink before we went out or on the way home! So rather than get annoyed with not finding anywhere, we took full advantage of what we knew was available to us!

Before we got home though, I did find my doppelgänger! What do you think?

Its me!! On a bus!! Not really but can you see the resemblance? or was it just the alcohol… #tipsy

And then, when the bar wasn’t enough, the hotel’s room service was just fine for another nice bottle of white wine!! Once the birthday celebrations had ended, we got ourselves some sleep to get ready for our last day!

So, day 3 soon came around and we were able to have ourselves a cheeky lay in! Booking the late flight home had its advantages!

With not much else to do we decided to have a roam around the beautiful City once more and find our way to a restaurant for lunch.

We all mutually agreed that we’d go back to 1516 because the food was just so good and you know you can’t go too wrong! Unless your my friend, who ordered a local sausage and got a big white sausage that was swimming in a chive broth.. it wasn’t pretty. Its safe to say he was hungry when we got to the airport…!! (little side note of advice, order what you know or at least have a good understanding of! Then you don’t get lumbered!)

After a nice lunch, we got back to the hotel, picked our suitcases up and got a cab to the main line station where we were able to get a CAT train all the way to the airport in just 16 minutes! These trains are brilliant and it only costs €19 for a return ticket!

Its safe to say we all had a great time in Vienna! In hindsight you could easily do 2 full days and a 1 night stay, OR, 2 nights but a late flight in and an early flight home on the 3rd day! Plus, the winter markets are definitely my favourite part of the holiday! Just be aware that without those, you really don’t need long in Vienna to see all of its beauty!

I hope this has given you some inspiration and if you go to any of these places let me know what you think!!

Lots of love,

The Culture Vulture x

Vienna – The City Of Music What a place to be! full of beautiful architecture and some great food, Vienna is a perfect weekend away for both couples or a group of friends, especially in December!

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