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#literally all gay people go into one of these fields ASDFGHJKL
bitch-a-la-mode · 2 years
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Ah yes the three genders:
Work with kids
Work with animals
Artist
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lapeaudelamemoire · 4 years
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I really don’t know what to do with myself any more. I’m not doing well at school, or rather it really doesn’t feel or seem that I am, regardless of whether or not I manage to, by the skin of my teeth, it feels like, grasp at ripping bootstraps.
I’ve never done well in institutional education since I turned 13 and that was a huge factor in my reluctance to go to uni or college, and now I’m in it again it’s just proving what I knew about myself to be right. The assignments I do rarely are analytical in the way I most love and do well in; they’re annoyingly heavy on theory without actually involving deconstruction of those theories. More often than not they’re just checklists of regurgitation of others or information giving way to ‘conclusions’ reached by way of more regurgitative information jargon; really the only analyses I’ve had to do rather than ‘reports’ or ‘evaluations’ or ‘reviews’ which really are mostly reports focused on identifying areas of lack have been gaspingly few and far between. I have done exactly two genuine analyses in these past two years of schooling, and one of them was on raw data.
It’s like adding to a gigantic mass of paper on the walls of what is essentially a ‘club’ of the same people tacking up their own notes with more of the same, just chipping in to add a voice of similar uncontest or dissent or something. It’s mind-numbing, like being a drone. It’s like - a pile of ants, climbing on top of each other, trying to reach the tabletop. It’s like a nest of hungry baby birds just unfed, chirping and flapping for food from their mama’s beak. Yea or nay.
I don’t do this. What I excel in is text analysis. But all I do is survey ‘the existing literature’ and throw in stacks of citations and end up with a conclusion that is the identification of yet another hole; I am never allowed to end on a satisfied close.
I really, really hate this. One of my godmothers has noted that I say this so often do I really think I should be in this field? But without doing this to the utmost degree (literally) I will not have the authority I need to talk with the weight of that ‘recognised’ authority on what I really want to talk about.
This field... we are like worker ants. Equipped with a diagnostic manual to which to keep to the letter; a magic wand that sorts people and points them into separate groups. Really all we are is administrative technicians. I wonder how many of us have had an original thought.
You could have just run the data through a machine processor. Marked the reliability correlates and classed them into ‘0.7, 0.8, 0.9′ and the corresponding ‘reasonable, very good, excellent’. Based on keywords used an algorithm to suggest what it could be used for. Based on the classification of the reliability given an automated result of ‘needs work’ or ‘satisfactory’.
Anyone making art contributes more than these useless papers that they make us churn out, that are conclusions that can be arrived at increasingly by any adequately-programmed software. Like the multiple-choice questions; like the keyword-hits.
‘If A, then B. If presents with xyz, then use abc to determine whether X is met. If so, then Y as treatment. Alternatively, Z.’ ‘What did 1 do or is famous for? QRSTUV. What is ABCDEFG? 2345. What does QWERTY mean? ASDFGHJKL:/.’ ‘When 6789 increases, what happens to 321?’
Dead, rot(e) bullshit. Captcha pop-up: Click to prove you are not a robot. The robot pushes on the touchpad, and then turns toward the camera, its grabbers opening like it were smiling.
Dead brain. Analysis what? So illiterate we don’t even use sensible names. ‘Conversion disorder? What is that?’ ‘Named after Freud’s theory that mental dysfunction is converted to somatic symptomatology. No it doesn’t have anything to do with gay people getting electroshock to convert them into heterosexuals.’ ‘What is reliability?’ ‘Consistency.’ ‘What is validity analogous to?’ ‘Accuracy.’ ‘Tell me again if discriminant or divergent mean the same thing, I can’t tell.’ ‘Oh, they’re interchangeable.’ ‘Do words mean anything?’
‘Man, I don’t know.’
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xhaotixaesthetica · 5 years
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College! Jaebum x Kinda Mad Genius! Reader
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Starlink Intergalactic Navigator 
You are in: a genetic mutation of Gaia, the dwarf planet 
look at this cute ass idiot ugh my heart
so WE’RE GONNA SPICE HIS AU UP A BIT totally not because I’m already sick of the same reader inserts, just enjoy this as a story and don’t complain pls
in this au you’re an astrophysics and computer programming major, minoring in bioengineering
in other words, you’re smart af
like you’re one of those child prodigy kids
Graduated high school early and took a bunch of AP's and CLEP tests so you’re way ahead and somewhere in between a junior and a senior but since you’re so young, you just say you’re a junior
you literally have the IQ of a genius and a bunch of Ivy league schools got in a fight over you but you were like nah nah i want something fUn so you came to SEOUL WOO HOO
you get A's in everything without even trying but that's OK because it leaves more room for you to do more SCIENCE
currently in a polyamorous relationship between you, Math, and Science
you’re really fascinated by the complexity of the universe but at the same time really into physics and math so when you found out that astrophysics existed when you were like 12, you knew that was it for you
you barely have time to eat, much less be fashionable, so you wear pretty nothing but jeans, huge hoodies, Converse, and a super hero t-shirt underneath (same but just because i’m too broke to dress nice)
with good brains comes bad everything else and you’re a hot fucking mess
clumsy, notes scattered all over the place, writing astrophysics shit in the margins of all your papers and doodling constellations on them while the professor lectures, it’s bad
you’re actually kind of extroverted and hyper but you just focus all that energy into astrophysics so everyone thinks you’re a hermit
you’re not obsessed with video games and comic books specifically, you’re just obsessed with space
like Star Wars, Star Trek, Battlestar Galactica, Ender's Game, Prey, Alien, Dead Space, and even Halo, you love em all, cause fuCkinGH spACE MAN same i’m a space gay
you aLwAyS pLaYS THE FUCKIN SPACE OVERTURE ON YOUR PHONE AND WALK IN SLOW MO INTO YOUR APARTMENT AND YOUR ROOMMATE IS LIKE I HAD TO WATCH THAT WITH MY OWN TWO EYES
always writing reminders on yourself but they only help 60% of the time because you’re a hot mess
you can play the harp and the sitar?? the most random ass instruments, you literally have your harp in your bedroom and your sitar in your lab and like they were gifts from one of your cousins and you’re really protective over them
whenever you have a mental block you sit cross-legged and start playing your harp/sitar and chanting OM or the lyrics to We Will Rock You and your roommates are like omg they really are a mad scientist
you don't mind relationships but like no one wants to be with you cause they think you’re kind of fucking insane so you try not to think about it and just blow stuff up in the chem lab
like you’re really excited, you’ll gladly talk to people and you’re really bubbly and happy and friendly but all you talk about is astrophysics??? and you’re not on like level one, no you started reading college level astrophysics books when you were 14, you’re like wayyyy past PhD level so it's like you’re speaking another language
and no one wants to hang out with you like they think it's cute how passionate you are and how fucking just warm and open you are but still no one wants to be around you cause you’re like some sort of mad scientist and they're not interested in what you’re talking about
but you keep a smile on your face and keep to your astrophysics even though you start to think something's wrong with you and start getting kinda sad
aw bby :’(
and tHEN THEY WERE ROOMMATES that's when Jaebum came along
Jaebum is majoring in Ancient Studies and minoring in Greek and he’s Captain of the Football Team
pretty much every male-attracted person likes him but ain't no one going near that boy cause he is T E R R I F Y I N G
wears all black and never says anything and then when you talk to him he just has this resting bitch face on with no expression and everyone's like I’ll I’ljust go now and he just continues reading
he’s always reading with his earbuds in, you bother him it's your funeral
and it's weird cause like he has friends a precious few and ppl know he's not cold with them so why’s he ALWAYS COLD AND APATHETIC TO EVERYONE ELSE LIKE YOU GOOD MATE???
knows he's terrifying and uses it to his advantage
has no problem glaring down people who reach for the same thing at the supermarket or try cutting in front of him at starbuck’s and they near shit themselves
does not give two shits about all the people staring at him all the time as long as they don't talk to him or interrupt his reading
stays at home unless he's at class, practice, or a game
on the Dean’s List, and a massive teacher’s pet
but still, people just like to admire him for his looks and gush about how mysterious he is and that really irks him cause no one wants to actually spend the time to get to know him he’s not even that mysterious, he’s actually a bit of a crackhead so he's like i don't need y'all i have the Gupta Dynasty to keep me company
youngjae and yugyeom rolling their eyes, like HeRe HyUnG GOES AGAIN
knows more about ancient worlds than the current world?? like sometimes mark catches him staring at technology like it's an alien concept and he's like dude you've had a cell phone since you were like 12, when was the last time you had a break from reading that, chill out for a second and come back to modern times
and jb just scoffs like i don't need your modern times and buries his head in the book again but he just wants someone who's able to talk about the present AND the past with him without ignoring one cause he thinks both are really important
anyways one day you were late to an 8am class and you were rushing and dropped some papers and Jaebum came across it and he was like what in ThE HELL IS THIS cause first of all it was almost completely illegible and then when he did manage to read it, he couldn't understand it cause it was real complex math and science shit and he looked at the name and he knew who you were cause you’re the campus genius and the campus crazy
so he hunts you down until he comes across your lab later on in the day and you’re frantically looking through your BILLIONS OF PILES of looseleaf paper and jb's just thinking about how much of a fit jinyoung would have if he saw this tomfoolery
and he handed you your stuff and you were so grateful and friendly and you reminded him of a crazier version of youngjae
he couldn't help but be curious when he saw the really complicated math and science going on on your paper and he was like what's that, how does it work, what's the history
for a full fifteen seconds, you looked at him like he was god incarnate and you like i'M gLaD yOu AsKeD
and you were talking really fast but the way your eyes lit up when you talked about astrophysics and the way the sun from the window illuminated your features jfc
jb didn't believe in love in first sight he swore he didn't
unless it was you
like even if you weren’t conventionally pretty and most people wouldn't even notice you, bummie didn’t care, it was like you were the goddamn sun or something
he stops you in the middle of explaining and he's like look you're going a bit too fast, so could you repeat what you said but just a lil bit . . . slower
and for a long moment, you were stunned jungshook because like this boi . . . this devastatingly handsome boy who blows everyone off and makes them wet their pants in fear wants to hear me rant to him about astrophysics
and he actually wants you to slow it down so he can understand instead of just pretending to listen
and like you may be a genius but JB just broke your brain for a second
but then you jump back into it like yeah sure
and jae honestly finds you fucking adorable like how excited you get about astrophysics and he actually finds himself interested in it and then he starts talking about ancient cultures and greek and you already kinda know everything he's talking about and enjoy the conversation and he's all heart eyes
gets protective over you after like 2 days???
you don't care, you’re just happy there's someone who thinks you’re interesting so you don't even notice him glaring at anyone who talks to you and always hanging around you to scare other guys off
tbh bummie doesn't really comprehend why people don't like being around you cause like??? you’re so fucking pretty and cute?? you took all his uwus reader
only takes like 10 days before JB finds out you’re really affectionate and you’re hugging and cuddling all the time but he actually???likes it
and soon he's the one begging you for cuddles and you’re like ( ^_^) ofc babe lemme just finish doing these calculations right quick and JB's like asdfghjkl did they just call me what i think they just called me
but like you guys are always hanging at your lab and since JB doesn't really talk except with you and his friends and you never talk about anything but astrophysics on the off chance she gets back to the dorm in time enough to talk at all no one knows that you guys are even hanging out
it's not long after that jae asks you out and he takes you to an amusement park and you have a FiElD dAy because sooooooo much math? and pretty colors? and cotton candy? and he's made you the happiest person ever and in that moment when he sees your face he just can't help himself like pls be my s/o and you’re like ASDFGHJKL ARE YOU PLAYING WITH ME RIGHT NOW JFC OFC
and he just drops a bomb on his friends like they're all going out to dinner and he brings you and he's got his arm around your waist and he's just like guys meet my s/o and everyone's choking like S/O We ThOuGhT YoU wErE aRo oR sMtHiNG and for a minute they're so confused because no one even knew jaebum was talking to someone much less the mad scientist person when did this happen
and like they can see all throughout dinner that you’re really fucking strange but it's kind of cute and it makes bummie happy so Welcome to the Family, we have cookies
lol friends? nope, say goodbye to those, everyone is so terrified of bummie and his resting bitch face and them muscles that they refuse to come near you cause you’ve basically got Jaebum stamped on your forehead but that's ok because somehow you became really good friends with his friends and like you have this group chat that jae's not in specifically so they can share embarrassing things for you to tease him about later
but bummie highkey encourages it because if he pretends to get mad, you’ll play your harp for him and he loves that shit
jaebum will knock the living daylights out of anyone who mistreats you or makes you feel bad
like one time yall were walking back after a date and this dude grabbed your ass and was about to open his mouth to say some vulgar shit but he didn’t even get the chance before jaebum LEAPED ON HIM LIKE A FUCKING INSECT AND MOWED HIS ASS D O W N
jae had like two scratches on him meanwhile the dude on the floor probably needed a goddamn ambulance and he just took your hand and continued walking like anyways, like i was saying, no one can give me a valid reason why I shouldn’t get a cat
yall will 10/10 adopt a cat together
well it was supposed to be one but yall were weak bitches, so it turned into 3 same
at first yall rotated the cats between y’all’s apartments but then you were both like let’s just fucking move in together omfg
bam bam constantly breaks into your apartment to play with your cats
you come and cheer jae on at his football games
the first time everyone was SHOOK 
for fuck’s sake, you just learned what a touchdown was when you infiltrated a superbowl party for the food sAME, why tf were you even here
but then they saw jae beam at you and they were like omfg, they’re these people
when they win, he runs up and scoops you into his arms and spins you around, pressing a bunch of kisses all over your face and calling ou his good luck charm and you’re screaming at him for hugging you while he’s sweaty and gross even though you’re laughing and kissing him back
when he loses, you and him go to McDonalds after he showers and you just sit at a table eating while he nuzzles his head in your neck and sulks
reader, i highkey advise you to get a couple tats or a body piercing and not tell him
just have your hoodie off one day so he happens to see the tat/piercing and you’ll see his eyes darken and he’s trying to keep calm like
“i didn’t know you had tattoos/piercings”
and he’s looking down at you so intensely he’s almost glaring
“i do, wanna try and find them all?”
you did it
you activated beast mode
whenever jae sees you upset or sad, he’ll just engulf you with his whole body and you can smell his aftershave and feel his warmth while he puts on calming music and tells you greek myths in that smooth, soothing voice
and when you have your head on his chest, half asleep, he’ll just kind of stop for a second because holy fuuck, you’re so gorgeous and you’re his? how did he land you?? he’s the luckiest guy in the world?
and when you look up, wondering why he stopped talking, you see him looking at you with just this really soft, mushy look of complete adoration and before you can even say anything, he’s like i fucking love you
I WAS GONNA WRITE MORE, BUT I GOTTA END IT NOW, I’M FUCKING SOFT HNNNGGH 
Gaia, the dwarf planet 
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coolpolarbear123 · 5 years
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Band Camp Day 7
To quote me at Taco Bell earlier: “This week hasn’t been an emotional rollercoaster--it’s been an emotional downhill with [our band director] fueling it.”
August 25th, 2019
10th Grade | 11th Grade | 12th Grade | Last Year | This Year | All
Day 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6
To the ready...:
It defeats the purpose of linking things days after making the posts, so I actually took the time to make the links, you’re welcome
Also I forgot to mention this, but a few days ago, I went up to the piccs and said, “Does it ever occur to you that the piccs essentially have a burn book” and now we’re making that
So today was a three-hour day (whoa)
It started with a band picnic, where all the piccs went except for Roommate and one other member of GB (I mentioned her yesterday, but I don’t think I made a name for her)
They had work
NSL hung out with the saxes
The rest of us took a cute picture though
We went out to the hiking trails and hung out on the beach (we’re next to one of the great lakes asdfghjkl)
I say that like the three people who read these don’t know that
I could straight up use names
Anyway we collected rocks, the mellos and tubas were there, we sang songs and changed the words so that it was all about rocks
We eventually sang some Phineas and Ferb songs, doing the same thing
“Bow chica wow wow/that’s what my rock rock”
Anyway, after that we had our three hour rehearsal
the entire thing was supposed to be on our actual football field, but we were on the practice field for two and a half hours so hmmm
Only thirty minutes on the field
hmmmmmmmm
We were mad at that
But before we get to what we did on the field, we have to talk about what we did on the practice field
Only halftime
Six new pages of drill, three of them wrong
“Walk in 8-to-5 for 14 counts, turn around, and do it for 28″
However the dots we were supposed to end up at were not 14 steps and 28 steps away
So like had to fix that
That’s what happens when you reuse old drill
Also person 5 was charted twice, and trying to fix that was like: BD: “Okay go to that dot” #5: *Goes there* BD: “Why isn’t there anyone in either of those spots?” The picc section: ????????
Yeah so with the band properly annoyed and now forming drill that straight up looks like Meijer-bought titties, we finally got to go into the dome
To quote my roommate, “They could be titties or the finest ass depending on your mood.”
Where we did, like, two run-throughs of pregame
thanks
Non-compliance stuff
If one trombone is noncompliant, the entire section goes up, and this was the third day in a row they didn’t go up, so go them
Last year they were up every day
One of the noncompliance songs is this song that goes “I’m alive, awake, alert, enthusiastic” with arm movements
And the piccs reference it quite often
So a few days ago when it was the noncompliance song, you better believe the piccs were doing it in our seats
(we sit in an arc and watch people humiliate themselves in front of us for noncompliance)
When we do the handshake, the actual handshake bit of it is four beats, so we literally say “alive awake alert enthusiastic”
Oh I remembered what the other G’s are in “The GGGGG’s”
Gays, God*ammit, Gordeeta, Gamers, Gingerbread
I’m Gingerbread--we assigned everyone to one
We sang the cult songs
Last year we ended in the band room, this year in the dome (our football field)
Then GB went to Taco Bell because that’s a picc thing
We’re already planning picc bonding for tomorrow, so that’s cool
But yeah! That’s the end of band camp! It ended on a pretty chill day but because of the lead up we’re all tired and emotional (angry)
I’m gonna go be productive and e-mail people/sign up for classes/clean/get ready for the first day of classes tomorrow/etc
I have an 8am and it’s 10:04 pm, so that’s how we are
I’ll update the links tomorrow, since I have a ton to do tonight, but thank you guys so much for reading! As always, shoutout to the the members of my first band whom I miss so much. I finally got to see you guys again last spring, and you mean the world to me. Shout out to my second band for sucking so much I needed to create this series. Shout out to my third band for being the biggest family I’ll ever had--especially the piccs who have grown so much in the past two years. You guys are incredible
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