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#literally didn’t know dogs could like catnip too
littledogadventures · 3 years
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For Dahlia’s birthday today we rolled a catnip joint for her. Both the cats were only a little interested but not really. Then Dodson came and stole it, ate it, and rolled in whatever spilled out 😂😂😂
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luvnami · 3 years
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𝐜𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬!
𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 - aa my first time writing for kny!! i hope you like it~ the title is a play on the word ‘pillars’ lol hopefully that makes sense... enjoy!! likes, comments and reblogs really help me a lot <3
𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 - @/amjustagirl​ (muacks)
𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 - mention of food
𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 - what if the pillars were... cats?
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𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐣𝐢𝐦𝐚 𝐠𝐲𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐢
- the CHONKIEST fella you’ve ever seen in your entire life
- seriously, this cat feels like a brick when you try to pick him up
- yes, his fur is dense. no, he does not get any skinnier when he’s matted down with water
- a lovely, calm cat abandoned by his previous owners because they were moving out of the country
- he loves lazing in the sun and his brown fur turns golden in it!!!
- is a lap cat but doesn’t understand that your legs turn numb way too fast when he’s purring away like a little truck motor 
- (his purrs are so deep……. put him on an asmr youtube channel already!!!!)
- once, you had a dream that you were drowning. you found him sleeping on your chest when you woke up gasping for air
- broke a flimsy cat tree once and is now terrified of heights 
- a big baby :( kind of needy, always welcomes you at the door when you come home with chirps and gets frisky when you don’t return till late
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𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐨 𝐨𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐢
- …
- the quiet cat that seems like it might murder you in your sleep
- you adopted him together with kanroji because he simply wouldn’t leave her side and wouldn’t leave your side so… yeah
- this cat HATED you at first
- like… he even refused to eat the food that you tried to give him :/// you had to lure him out with some churu 
- you once woke up in the middle of the night because you were thirsty and found two glowy things at your bedroom door
- yeah, he was staring at you while you slept
- you didn’t dare to get a glass of water and just went back to sleep
- dark gray short fur with heterochromia! you think that he might be kanroji’s sibling but the centre said that they came in at different times
- he goes crazy for catnip oh my goodness
- he rolls himself in it and purrs so LOUD……….. ok iguro……..
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𝐤𝐚𝐧𝐫𝐨𝐣𝐢 𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐢
- so! affectionate!
- you adopted her from a local centre… seriously, who abandoned this pretty baby!!!!!!!
- (iguro insisted on being adopted as well. they come in a pair, do not separate.)
- is a white short fur with heterochromia <333 she looks so magical omg
- when you visited the adoption centre, she wouldn’t stop meowing and curling herself around your legs
- how could you not take her home!!!!!
- she tries to steal all kinds of food (even yours). please don’t own any plants, she will try to chomp them as well
- one time you came back home and heard some loud rustling from the door. you were terrified that it was a thief but when you switched on the lights, the cat had somehow managed to raid your pantry :/
- loves loves loves cuddles!! will even let you touch her soft tummy and play with her toe beans (only for a while though!)
- you wish she’d stop jumping around and getting into the hardest to reach spots…….
- loves trying out new collars, toys and even outfits!
- grooms iguro a lot and loves playing with him <3
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𝐤𝐨𝐜𝐡𝐨 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐛𝐮
- y’all know the cats that play nice when you’re petting them and then bite your hand immediately after… yeah
- the childhood cat that gives you trauma after it scratched you one too many times
- but very lovable and social!! loves meeting new people and then giving you a smug look as she crawls into their lap
- is not tempted by treats… she will do a trick when she wants to
- siamese, brown to white with a tail that flicks too much when she’s irritated
- this cat pushes your glass of water off of the table while looking you in the eye
- will lay herself over your keyboard when you’re trying to work
- has and will chew up your socks again
- scratches your furniture even after you sprayed it with that ‘no-scratch’ spray
- HOWEVER she will occasionally let you scritch her chin when she feels amiable…….
- tries to groom you sometimes
- jumps around too much for her (and your) own good. has caused the shattering of many things and now you cannot place fragile objects on shelves
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𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐨𝐤𝐮 𝐤𝐲𝐨𝐣𝐮𝐫𝐨
- the most!! active and happy tabby cat you’ve ever seen!!!!! 
- meow! meow meow meow!
- man i have no idea what you’re saying rengoku but you look happy and adorable so have a treat
- probably a family cat that your dad brought back home (much to mom’s dismay) but he’s part of the family now
- VERY vocal at night no matter how much you try to tire him out in the day… rip 
- will wake you up because! human! it is night time and my water bowl is an inch out of place!
- has the most gorgeous coat ever… really. it’s an envy for many cat owners
- he struts around with his head in the air and demands many pets from you while yowling and pawing your leg
- loves outdoor walks, actually. will attack a dog on sight if given the chance so please keep him on a leash
- give him little booties to keep his paws clean!!!!!!!! he fell over the first time you put them on but now he’s used to it and he looks so cute omg
- very nurturing!! takes to other cats very easily and is a joy to have around if you’re fostering other animals (besides dogs)
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𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐳𝐮𝐠𝐚𝐰𝐚 𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐢
- this bastard cat
- hisses if you pat him for too long
- hisses if you don’t give him attention
- hisses while you’re pouring out his food and will NOT hesitate to bite you
- if you touch his paw pads, you can goodbye to your fingers
- i’m thinking……. gray shorthair with green eyes!
- probably a stray cat that you took in (which came with a lot of coaxing, snacks and wrangling) who got into one too many fights 
- he took a while to get used to staying indoors, often hiding in obscure places and was oddly possessive of your sofa
- no, he did not let you sit on it for a whole month
- he’s very protective and territorial! when he’s feeling like it, he’ll rub against you and get into your closet to curl up and scent your clothes (getting fur all over them)
- once, when you had some friends over, you had to lock him in your bedroom because he wouldn’t stop snarling at them
- no one dares to come over to your place after that
- (he’s secretly addicted to butt pats)
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𝐭𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐨
- black shorthair that literally appeared in your house one day
- you have no idea where he came from but you let him stay for a few days and he’s never left since then
- sometimes, he wanders outside (while chasing a butterfly or something...) but always comes back in time for dinner
- has the clearest emerald eyes!!
- he’s so quiet oh my goodness. you swear you’ve never heard him meow or chirp or purr once………. you think he might be a ghost cat sometimes 
- moves around silently too. has scared you on more than one occasion when you turned around and found him staring at you, or felt something furry brush against your leg while you weren’t expecting it
- doesn’t initiate affection much but will let you pet and smother him with love!! he kinda just… chills lol
- loves snuggling in the warmest places! sometimes you’ll come home and find a suspicious bump under your covers… lift it and you might find a friend within <3
- hates hate hates collars
- will literally bat at you if you ever try to put one on him
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𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐨𝐤𝐚 𝐠𝐢𝐲𝐮
- loves water so much its crazy
- you have to lock your bathroom door because he’s somehow managed to figure out how to open the doors in your house
- like, he’ll actually jump into the shower with you 
- you brought him home one day when you found him as a kitten in the rain outside :c (ur the hot anime character now)
- he’s really quiet! rarely meows and prefers to headbutt you (which can be slightly inconvenient, like that one time you were pouring coffee and nearly scalded the both of you)
- his fur is always messy. sticks up everywhere no matter how much you try to brush it
- black fur of medium length and thickness!!! puffs up SO MUCH when winter comes though
- it’s insane, he looks like a ball of soot
- exceptionally fast. when you try to play fetch with him, all you’ll see is a black blur darting back and forth
- easily scared
- you have to be careful when rounding corners or petting him because if he doesn’t expect it he’ll jump like five feet in the air
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𝐮𝐳𝐮𝐢 𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐧
- if you do not change his collars or outfits at least once a week or brush him daily he will start yowling
- you decided to adopt him after your neighbour moved to an apartment that didn’t allow cats
- unfortunately, your neighbour was also the most outrageously extravagant person you’ve ever met and spoiled uzui too much
- a good chunk of your monthly spending goes to the cat
- will not eat cheap cat food (how can he tell the difference…?)
- occasionally buries himself in the back of your closet because it’s dark and smells like you but please help me i’m entangled in a scarf and can’t get out!
- loves posing for photographs and being cooed over!! if you run an instagram account for him you’ll be sure to get popular really quickly
- he just… knows the camera is there lol
- hates having his nails clipped omg
- he will run around the house just to escape you and will only be bribed by a fancy new outfit or a churu
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monstersfear · 2 years
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twenty questions // emilio & tepin
TIMING: before the events of root 666 PARTIES: @monstersfear & @cattale SUMMARY: emilio takes it upon himself to investigate a series of animal attacks. tepin knows more than she's letting on. CONTENT: some references to parental death and sibling death
Typically, Emilio stuck to the undead in his hunting. As a slayer, it was what he was most equipped to deal with. But after the massacre in Etla, he found there was something to be said for expanding one’s horizons. If you could stop people from being hurt, you ought to do it. And Emilio certainly had the power to try, at least.
The ‘wild animal’ attacks in the Outskirts probably weren’t the work of a vampire or a zombie, but Emilio was looking into them anyway. It was what brought him to the Night Market, basket of vegetables in hand as he wandered. He knew security was keeping an eye on him, but he also knew they wouldn’t make him go unless he stirred up trouble. And he had no intention of doing that. He just… had a few questions. That was all.
Stopping in front of a stall, he glanced to the sign. Fresh Greens. He nodded to himself, looking at the produce. “You grow this yourself?” He looked to the woman manning the stall. “Must have a pretty good sized garden.”
Who would have poisoned the old man’s dog? The question ran through Tepin’s mind as she minded her own business, literally, by arranging her organic produce for the night’s sale. As she placed the large carrots beside the zipped bags of catnip, she hummed to herself the theme song of the detective thriller series she had started watching just a day or two ago. Tepin had been keeping to herself ever since she arrived in White Crest, only crawling out of her hole that was a cabin in the woods she inherited from a departed friend to make her livelihood through the bountiful blessings of her garden. She rarely leaves the safety of the Outskirts, usually trading some of her own produce for the services of a private grocer who would go into town to purchase for her the things she could not acquire through the Night Market, which wasn’t a lot.
So when someone approached the stall, she simply thought it was the child. “Oh, did you find the exact-” Tepin cut herself off when the face and the voice that met hers was clearly not of a child but of a strange man. He seemed to be exuding some sort of strange and mysterious aura, like he was both dangerous and interesting at the same time, a flame to her moth, perhaps. “O-oh, you’re not…” She quickly tried to compose herself, putting on the smile of a salesperson belatedly. “Y-yes! I grow these myself. I do have my own garden and I don’t use chemicals, so these are very healthy and delicious.” In a subtle panic, she grabbed one of the bags of catnip and offered it to him, not even thinking if he had a cat. He didn’t look like he was a cat person but it was hard to tell. No one ever thought Tepin was a cat person herself, a literal cat person, so to speak. “Are you interested in some…uhh…catnip?” She tried to offer him an awkward grin to save herself but it was too obvious. Oh god, oh god, oh god… He’s a dog person, isn’t he?
She seemed prepared to speak to someone else. A child, if her tone was any indication. Emilio smiled faintly, a hint of amusement sparkling behind his eyes. “Sorry to disappoint,” he said, raising his hands with a click of his tongue. Her accent was familiar as she continued to speak, and he marveled on how many mexicanos found their way to this small town in Maine. He thought, perhaps, it should have made him feel more at home. Instead, it put him on edge. He tapped a finger against his thigh absentmindedly, shifting his weight unconsciously as he did so.
“That’s impressive. I have something of a black thumb myself, I think. Never managed to grow a plant without killing it.” If he were speaking to someone else, someone more familiar, he might make a joke about how killing was mostly what he was good at, anyway. But to a stranger, it seemed a bad move to make. “Not unless you can recommend giving it to strays. Afraid I don’t have any pets myself. Might be better, in this town. I hear the Outskirts have seen a lot of animal attacks recently.” He feigned interest in the carrots, though he watched her in his peripheral to gauge for her reaction.
“Not at all…” Tepin instinctively flashed him an apologetic smile. It was meant to be warm, and it was to an extent, but it seemed more fearful than it should have been. “I just thought you were…someone else.” Her mind quickly wandered to the child, specifically their whereabouts, as her eyes began to wander around them as well, curious if the same child was nearby. Seeing that it was for naught, she turned her attention back to the mysterious man, trying her best to keep him at her stall until he at least bought something. It would be a complete waste if he would leave her empty-handed. “Oh, well, it’s not for everyone, I guess…” Another awkward smile coupled with a failed attempt to make eye contact. Something about him was putting her on edge. Was it his familiar accent? Was it his mystique? Or was it simply because she thought him…cute.
She immediately gulped when he mentioned the animal attacks. It’s such a broad thing to consider. The Outskirts had so many wild animals and attacks from any of them were possible. To Tepin, however, she immediately focused on the animal within, the cursed jaguar that took over whenever it wanted to, whenever she felt lost and vulnerable, sometimes angry or cornered. Her hands glided towards the zipped bags of catnip, taking two, and fiddled with them, while she looked away from him, pretending to be busy arranging the produce already on the counter. “O-Oh? Well, I guess the Outskirts have so many wild animals… Sometimes they just get lost, too far from their homes, and venture into human territories, places they shouldn’t be in… They get spooked like us and stuff happens, I guess. Not unlikely.” She feigned a cough but it wasn’t quite the smoothest of transitions. Far from it.
He wasn’t the only one who was nervous, it seemed. The woman looked a little on edge, even as she offered him a smile. Emilio was hardly personable, had never learned to be ‘good with people’ in any manner of speaking, but he tried to give her one back, anyway, tried to put her more at ease. People were more talkative when they were comfortable, less likely to lie. And, beyond that… Emilio had no reason to want her on edge here. It was just a conversation, for the moment. It only had to become something else if she was dangerous. “You seem to be good at it. I don’t think I’ve ever seen carrots this size.” He picked one up, studying it with a faint smile. “Does it come naturally to you, or is it a learned skill?”
If she was nervous before, it only seemed to multiply at the mention of the animal attacks. Interesting, but hardly damning. Most people were uneasy at the concept of wild animals living close to where they slept, even if they weren’t aware said animals were supernatural in origin. “Sure,” he agreed, “it happens sometimes. Strange for them all to happen in the same general area, though. You’d think the wildlife would be scared off after the first few encounters with humans.” The cough piqued his interest, and he glanced up. “You ever hear anything out there? Near your garden? Got any theories what kind of animal might be causing all the trouble?”
“Oh, thank you! I don’t use chemicals. Just a lot of tender love and care!” When the conversation found its way to her gardening, Tepin lost all fear and nervousness, relishing instead in getting noticed for an achievement that she has been working hard on. Years after leaving her home and her family after losing control to the jaguar, she has lived the life of a ghost, keeping mostly to herself and fending off any attention. To be seen this way, for something that she has put a lot of great effort in, always made her beam with pride and delight. Even as she mentioned her parents, the people she had left for their own safety, the pain of being far from them felt smaller than the validation she had received. Even if it was from a total stranger. “I did learn from my parents, who learned from their parents, and you get the idea…”
“Oh, well, I-I wouldn’t know anything about that… Maybe it’s one of those seasons? We have hunting seasons, so maybe the animals have, like, the same thing?” Although Tepin housed a hunter inside her, she herself was far from being one. She had no real idea what it took to kill someone, to take a life, human or animal. All of that was reserved for the wild animal that hid within her. She only ever woke to find the aftermath of its hunts, not remembering any time she herself took part in it. Still, a part of her believes she’s just as guilty as the beast. They share the same body, after all, don’t they?
“I don’t think that I do. Not near my garden, no…” She tried to bury any thought about that matter deep within her mind, but one scenario kept pushing back, trying to find its way to the forefront of her memory. When it succeeded, Tepin’s eyes grew wide with surprise, though she quickly gulped and tried to tone herself done, not wanting to be a part of anything that could potentially shine the spotlight on a part of her life that she wanted swept under the rug. “One of my customers… He goes to the university here… Said it could be a cheetah, but I’ve never seen it myself, so it’s probably just his imagination. Do cheetahs even live around here? Might just be a bear for all I know… Are you, uhm, with the police?”
“My mom always said that was the way to do it,” Emilio smiled faintly. His mother had never grown anything that couldn’t be weaponized, of course, but the statement didn’t have to be true. It only had to put her at ease, make her feel like she could open up to him. People were only easy to manage in two situations: if they were terrified of you, or if they thought you were like them. Choosing the former would likely end with him being forcibly removed from the scene, and honestly? Emilio was fine with the latter. When the person in question wasn’t one he thought represented a present threat to him, he didn’t really want to send them shaking in their boots. And this woman wasn’t undead, wasn’t a vampire or a zombie. She was just someone selling vegetables who might know enough to point him in the right direction. Emilio could turn on the charm for that. “Ah, a trade secret passed down through the generations. That’s nice, that you have that.” He had a few of his own, though none that could really be called nice. Things passed down from Cortez to Cortez tended to be on the bloodier side.
Clicking his tongue thoughtfully, Emilio shrugged. “Not much of an animal guy. Can’t say for sure one way or another.” A ranger would know more than he would, of course, about the kind of animal he suspected to be at fault for these attacks. This whole thing was likely well out of Emilio’s jurisdiction, so to speak, but he’d never been one for sitting idly by and waiting on someone else to handle a situation. Besides, his main goal had always been to keep people from being hurt. That was the kind of thing that went farther than taking out one or two specific kinds of things causing said hurt.
She was nervous. He could feel it now, the way it radiated off her. Emilio couldn’t tell if she was just uncomfortable with the questioning because of the nature of it, or if there was guilt buried there, but he was sure of one thing… She wasn’t telling the whole truth. “A cheetah, huh?” To someone not in the know, a balam would certainly look something like a cheetah. “Could be a zoo animal got out. Or some idiot tried keeping one as a pet. Hell, could be a college mascot that got tired of frat boys. Plenty of things that could explain it.” Including a few he wasn’t saying aloud. Raising a brow, he shook his head. “Not exactly. I’m a private investigator. Got a client in the area whose dog is missing. I’m trying to find her some closure.” The client was a fabrication, of course. This investigation was Emilio’s alone, and not one relating to his day job. But admitting to being a hunter in a conversation like this? It was enough to get you killed, sometimes. It was certainly enough to make whoever you were talking to clam up and stop giving you anything at all.
“Your mom’s a wise woman then!” She chuckled at the familiarity, though it was short-lived. Tepin missed her mom. That much is obvious. But the realization that she may never see her again, that broke her heart on so many levels, some of them she wasn’t even aware of. It was different, knowing something internally and then realizing it with someone else, a complete stranger at that. It was much easier, with just herself trying to come to terms with, but with another person? It just made everything much more painful. Still, she tried to hide that fact, though she barely succeeded. “D-don’t you have the same with your family? Traditions passed down from one generation to the next?”
When he revealed he wasn’t into animals, Tepin felt her throat become much drier. If he was, it would’ve been much easier appealing to that side of him. Animal lovers often give, well, animals the benefit of the doubt, much more than those who didn’t care about them. Animal attacks get more excused by the former than the latter, and for good reason. When you love something, you tend to turn a blind eye to their flaws, even if they can be dangerous to you as well. When you don’t? Then it’s much easier to see the truth for what it is, for what they are. She wondered if he wouldn’t hesitate to put the jaguar down if they ever crossed paths. Maybe it would be for the best…
“Oh, right, a zoo animal…” Tepin had completely forgotten about the zoo, which was odd because it was around these parts, too, but not really when you realize that it’s not a place she’d try to be close by. The zoo was a prison as much as it was an entertainment for humans. While Tepin loved the zoo, at least when she was younger, she had doubts that the jaguar would appreciate the premises, especially if it came close to any of the captive animals. It would probably be like a buffet to it, but I don’t think it’d just stop at the other animals… “A private investigator? Oh, I see… Well, I hope she finds that closure… I’m not much of a dog person myself, I don’t even have pets, but it must be really hard, losing someone important to you to a place where so many things could have taken them…” She would know. She was one of those things. Well, part of her was. “Have you, uhm, talked to anyone else about this? Did they…say anything?”
“That she was,” Emilio nodded, taking note of the expression that crossed over her face as she said it. Grief was a familiar look for him, at this point. He’d seen it in the mirror so often that it was easy to recognize it on someone else, even a stranger. There was something she was missing, he suspected, something the mention of his mother had reminded her of. It wasn’t hard to jump to conclusions based on the information he had. Keeping his eyes on the vegetables on the table, he nodded. “My family had all kinds of traditions,” he confirmed, and it was true. Most of their traditions had involved weaponry and bloody knuckles, but they’d been traditions all the same. “No gardening, though. Wasn’t really in our wheelhouse.”
He didn’t need to look at her to sense her discomfort. It felt like a tangible thing at this point, like a neon sign alerting him to the fact that she knew something, that the questions he was asking with little subtlety were hitting a mark somewhere inside of her. That much was easy to decipher. What was harder was what it meant. She could have been a shapeshifter, desperate to cover up her crimes. Or she could simply know one. Love, Emilio knew, made people do stupid things sometimes. Anyone would be willing to go to great lengths to protect someone they cared about, even if that person was tearing the world to pieces with their teeth. It would be easier if these attacks were caused by something undead, easier if his slayer senses could simply point him to the likely culprit. But… Emilio had never much cared for easy, anyway. He’d always preferred a challenge.
“Never know, in this town. Wouldn’t be surprised if one of these strange occurrences they’re always writing about in the papers accidentally sprung a damn lion, at this point.” His tone was light, but his eyes bore into the vegetables with enough force that they might have disintegrated in his grasp if such a thing were possible. “Yeah. A pretty good one, I like to think. Haven’t left a case unsolved yet.” That, too, was a lie, though not entirely because Emilio lacked the skills to solve the cases that came across his desk. Sometimes, it was in his best interest to leave a few mysteries unresolved. Other times, he had to choose between introducing a random person to the supernatural in order to get them a tragic end to a story or letting them live in blissful ignorance for a little while longer. But admitting that wouldn’t sell the point he was trying to drive home here — that lying to him was a futile effort. “I’ve asked around. So far, you’re the only one who’s given me more than a shrug.”
Tepin simply nodded, the disappointment in her face palpable. For some reason, she had expected him to say otherwise, as if gardening was a universal thing. She had almost forgotten that not everyone needed to grow their own food, to nurture their own remedies, to care about the earth. After all, everything these days could be easily acquired with just a push of a button. For the most part at least. Tepin wasn’t well-versed in such technologies. She avoided them like a plague, only hearing about these developments from the others at the Night Market who were so bored, they’d end up sharing stories with newly made acquaintances. What’s your wheelhouse then?, the question never left her thoughts, wary of what his answer may reveal.
“Lion, yeah…” She let out a nervous chuckle, the proximity of his guess to the truth catching her off guard, like a sack violently placed over her head from out of nowhere. A cough, feigned, more of a defense than any actual condition, soon followed without her consent, and Tepin found herself an excuse to look further away, down to the ground, her mind scrambling for a way out, an escape, should the worst come to pass. Has the jaguar been careless? Of course, it has! It’s a damned wild animal! But to have someone look into it… It must’ve left a trail that had become hard to ignore. “That’s…amazing. Every…case you’ve ever had…you’ve solved…” She wondered next if he’s taken a life. Probably has. Who hasn’t these days? Would he be able to take the jaguar’s life, though? And with it, hers? Would that be the best result at this point? No, I still need to come back home.
“Oh, really? Well, uhm, I guess it’s probably just because I live in a cabin deep in the Outskirts, so there’s really no point in me…hiding anything. I’ve got nothing to lose, I guess. Not that I’ve seen anything. I just mind my own business, my garden, and my stall…” A lot of that was true. She really hasn’t seen anything, but that was mostly because she loses consciousness every time the jaguar comes out, only coming back to when the animal was done with whatever it wanted to do. Plausible deniability… Someone had taught her that word not too long ago. In a way, she and the jaguar were separate entities. Or at least that’s what she should believe. A part of her can’t ignore that they shared the same existence, perhaps even the same body, which meant that all its crimes were also hers. She swallowed air, and another cough came out. “What are you going to do to the, uhh, animal if you find it?” She feared the worst, but she wanted to hear it from him.
She looked disappointed, and Emilio almost wished he had a different answer for her. He almost wished he could tell her his family passed down seed packets and tips on how to make things grow just so she’d feel a little more at ease here, a little less tense. But it was too big a lie to sell, too far from the truth for him to even pretend there was honesty to it. Emilio’s family had never grown anything. They were far better at cutting things down.
Shrugging, Emilio shook his head. “Not usually hard,” he admitted. “People come to private investigators with shit the cops are too busy to care about. Cheating spouses. Stolen jewelry. Missing pets.” Missing people sometimes, too, in White Crest. Emilio suspected that the Missing Persons Division of the WCPD was constantly bogged down with cases, which was probably why so many people were told that their loved ones had simply left town of their own accord. But those cases weren’t the kind he wanted to discuss with a stranger, especially not a stranger so squirrely about something that could be a potential cause of such mystery. Cheating spouses were easy to prove, stolen jewelry typically showed up in pawn shops, missing pets were searched for with the expectation that they might not come home. But missing people? Those were the cases Emilio found himself thinking about long after they were over.
“Yeah. You said that,” Emilio replied, and there was no accusation in his tone even if there was one lingering in the back of his mind as he looked her over. He wasn’t positive she was the one responsible for the wild animal attacks… but he was positive she knew more about it than she was pretending to. Maybe she was scared. Maybe she was guilty. Maybe she was trying to protect someone. But she was definitely covering something up here. At her question, he clicked his tongue. “Me? Most I can do is call animal control, right? I’m a private investigator. Not a wild animal wrangler.” Another lie. If he found out what was causing the attacks, he’d take care of it one way or another. It might not be his specialty, but he’d never been one to stand by and watch when people stood to get hurt. “But I would guess that what happens to it would depend on how feral it is. If it can be stopped without hurting it, or if it’s too far gone.”
“Oh, yeah? Were you a cop before you became a private investigator?” There was genuine curiosity in Tepin’s tone. A while back, she met another private investigator. He was older, however, and he was himself a cop, a detective, before he quit the force and tried to strike gold on his own. It was a shame, how he ended up caught off guard by a wild predator. Tepin gulped at the thought, the memory. It wasn’t something she was proud of. Hell, it wasn’t something she even remembered in full. All she could tell was that he was a nice old man who tried to help her off the streets, and the next thing she knew, he was gone, his body found mauled by “an animal.” Think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts…
“O-oh, I did?” She flashed him an embarrassed grin but quickly looked away. Tepin didn’t want to see the old man’s face in him. It felt somewhat similar, the way this encounter was going with the way she had met the other private investigator way back. She wondered then if the ending would be the same, hoping it wouldn’t. “I’m sorry! I’m not really that smart. I…have the memory of a goldfish sometimes.” She tried to laugh it off, still looking away from him, focusing on the same batch of produce she has not walked away from since they started talking. “Y-yeah, I guess that’s…fair. If I were you, I’d still be careful, though, especially out here in the Outskirts. Whatever happened to the missing…pet you’re looking for… Whatever wild animal’s out there… I’d stay away from it myself.”
Calling animal control would be the safest thing to do, Tepin thought the same. She wondered if they’d manage to trap the jaguar, maybe take it down without killing it? It’s always been careful, though, having avoided the authorities wherever they’d hide. White Crest has been a safe haven for them for the past few years, mostly the Outskirts. There were too many dangerous animals out there like bears and whatever that most folks just waved off the carcasses they’d randomly come across. At least that’s what she believed. What else could be out there?
Emilio considered the question for a moment. It was straightforward, but it wasn’t. He’d never had a badge, but back in Etla? The Cortez family had been the closest thing to cops most people had. They’d been the ones taking care of the general public, the ones who made sure people were safe. (They’d been the ones whose names those same people had called as they died, one by one, terrified and alone. Emilio could still hear them, most nights. They drowned out every other noise.) “No,” he said at last, “I was never a cop. Not really my scene.” He wouldn’t have done any good with a badge. He couldn’t even do any good without one.
A nod took the place of a verbal response, eyes blank as he studied her. “I think you’re smarter than you give yourself credit for,” he offered, and it was true. If his suspicions were correct, she’d been hiding information from a lot of people for a long time now. That kind of thing required a certain level of finesse. Or a lot of dumb luck. He furrowed his brow as she spoke, eyes narrowing slightly. Was that meant as a threat, he wondered? Was she warning him away with an or else tacked on the end? “I’m pretty good at handling myself,” he replied, just in case. “I wouldn’t worry too much about me.”
She seemed to consider his ‘plan,’ like she was thinking it over. Emilio watched her, studied her like she was a particularly interesting case file on his desk. Animal attacks in the Outskirts. A woman with a garden and a secret. Two things that related to one another so long as you knew where to draw the lines. Looking back to the table, he held up a carrot. “How much for two of these?”
“Oh.” That was the only thing that squeaked out of Tepin’s mouth when her little theory was proven wrong, her insight clearly having rusted from all the times she kept to her little cabin in the woods, isolating herself from everyone else, every potential friend, only really coming out to trade, so she can live another day, survive another dance with the jaguar within. If he wasn’t a cop, does that mean he was the exact opposite? The thought made Tepin shudder a little. If she had been nervous about a potential cop asking questions around these parts, she was now more rattled by the idea that this man could be capable of more than just asking questions.
Tepin was no stranger to such men. Even in her tiny village back in Mexico, which most people could avoid and never knew existed, most men who could ask questions with no fear were the source of fear themselves. But she had not been to that village for so long. Perhaps things have changed. Yet here she was, cowering in fear in the presence of a private investigator who was never a cop but had the courage, no, bravado of one who had the more powerful weapon. “Thank you…” Her brown eyes stole a glimpse of him again, prompted by his revelation that he truly did not fear wild animals. “Okay. It’s just in my nature, my mamá once told me… To care, I mean.” She tried to offer him a smile but it came out too awkward and too brief.
A wash of relief came over her when he redirected the conversation to a purchase. It had been tense, Tepin felt. Too tense. Perhaps the most tense she’d ever had to endure for the past few…days. She had almost feared that the jaguar would come out right then and there. Without warning, of course, as it always did. Fortunately, something like this never caught its interest. With a grin, she looked over his choices and nodded in agreement, satisfied that the produce had caught his interest. As she opened her mouth to answer him, an idea popped up in her head. “Oh, just two? Uhm, I can give them to you for free, for, uhh,” She started to take a brown paper bag, quickly stuffing the carrots in there and adding a few others to boot, including a ziplock bag of catnip. Not too much, just enough to keep herself on his good side. “...for being a first time customer. We, uhm, have that, always have had that, promo, for a while now… But only for first time customers!”
“Nah,” Emilio replied with a shrug. It was the kind of thing that either comforted people or unsettled them with very little middle ground. If it were him, he would have been relieved that the person he was speaking to had no affiliation with law enforcement. With the exception of Marley, Emilio had never gotten along with the police, least of all on American soil. But the woman in front of him seemed unsettled, uncomfortable, like she might have preferred him with a badge. He wasn’t sure what to do with that. He never really was.
He looked down as she spoke, thinking, inevitably, of his own mother. If it had ever been in Emilio’s nature to care, she’d discouraged it long before the memory of such a thing could cement itself in his mind. She’d been right to do so, too. Caring, she told him once, belonged to other people. Not to them. If you cared too much, it would kill you. It would rip the heart from your chest, leave it to rot in the dirt. (Not caring, he thought, hadn’t given her a different end result in the end. He wasn’t sure that meant she was wrong.) “You should use that nature on other people,” he offered. “Not on me.” The advice was genuine, even if his intentions with this conversation were shrouded in ulterior motives. Emilio was a bad person to care about. Caring about him, more than anyone else, would certainly kill you in the end. There was a town of ghosts that could attest to it.
Brow furrowing, Emilio looked up from his purchases to study her face. A bribe, he suspected, though not the most tempting one he’d ever been offered. A bag of free vegetables was nice, but it would hardly keep his rent paid. It would hardly convince him to look the other way when there was blood soaking the ground. “I don’t mind paying,” he said, mostly because he’d never liked owing anything to anyone and this felt a little too much like a slippery slope that would leave him crawling on his hands and knees. “Not like I don’t have the cash.”
Despite the fear and uncertainty that she felt with the stranger, Tepin couldn’t help but steal another glimpse of him when she declined her…nature. Most people would’ve accepted it wholeheartedly, even taken advantage of it, but she supposed he wasn’t like most people. They weren’t like most people. There was a familiarity in that kind of thinking, though she remained wary of his own reasons, perhaps from his past or personal life, that had shrouded him in this seemingly jaded point of view. “O-okay.”
Tepin mustered a smile again, trying to win him over still. Shaking her head, she pushed the bag closer to him and even let out a chuckle, as genuine as she could make it seem. “Oh, it’s fine! Really. I’m sure we’ll meet again, Mister…?” She tried to fish for his name, not recalling if he had given it, though no one ever does until they had to part ways. “Almost everyone who buys from me always comes back. Come to think of, everyone actually does! Next time, it won’t be free, though, so you’ll have to bring a lot of money.” Tepin laughed, almost forgetting the danger that this man posed to her. Then again, she needed to laugh. It’s the positive mindset that has helped her survive her years of struggle against the jaguar.
“If there’s anything I can help you with, though,” the words crawled out of her lips before she could even think them through, a mistake that has always cost her something, whether it be a new friend or a part of her own soul. “...just let me know. I won’t always be around the Night Market. I usually just come in when I’ve got something extra to sell. Not the best business strategy, but I didn’t really go to business school!” She laughed again, as if trying her hardest to unload all that stress and tension, replacing them with a better and more oblivious attitude.
Almost reluctantly, Emilio took the bag with a nod. “Emilio,” he replied, providing only the first name. It was a defense mechanism in more ways than one. There were still plenty of supernatural creatures from Oaxaca and its surrounding states that would recognize the name Cortez, and since Emilio was the last of them… taking him out would provide anyone with an impressive set of bragging rights. More than that, though, his refusal to provide his last name protected him in an emotional sense. If you denied ever losing something, you could pretend to be free from the grief. You could pretend such a thing was possible at all.
Clearing his throat, he nodded. “I’m sure I’ll be back,” he replied, and it was true. He doubted he’d need any vegetables any time soon — he didn’t even really need the ones in the bag he clutched now — but she knew something. And Emilio was nothing if not stubbornly intent on finding out exactly what that was.
Pausing for a moment, he reached into his pocket and fished out a business card, holding it up before offering it to her. “Right back at you,” he replied. “If you think of anything else about these animal attacks, or if you need a detective… You can reach me here.” The card itself was certainly nothing special, but the implication, he figured, would get the job done. He couldn’t do much more than ask questions at the Night Market without being forcibly removed from the premises, but that didn’t mean he’d be giving up the case. And he wanted to make sure she knew it. “Thanks for the carrots. I appreciate the discount.”
“Emilio…” Tepin repeated his name for good measure. She waited for him to say his last name as well but was a little disappointed that he left it out. There was no blaming the man, though. He wasn’t there to make friends, she wasn’t even sure he was out there to genuinely buy her produce, only to investigate privately. She almost forgot but caught herself, providing him her own name in turn but also leaving out her last name. It wasn’t that important anyway. “I’m Tepin.”
She hesitated for a bit, brown eyes taking their time to look over his card, as if she had never seen anything before. Tepin wondered if she should refuse it, could, but ended up taking it instead, with a big grin on her face. “Oh, thank you…” It dawned on her that having a detective for a contact could be very useful in the days to come but she also feared that making any more contact with him would only allow further investigation into her situation. Until Tepin could control the jaguar, that would only serve to endanger everyone involved. “I’ll…be sure to give you a call.”
“You’re welcome!” She waved him goodbye as he left, as if she had already forgotten the danger their interaction could pose to them both. Still, Tepin believed it would be rude to do otherwise. He was kind enough to not overextend himself, to actually threaten her, not that she thought he would. Why would he? When she was just a nice produce seller at the Night Market. As he left, began to walk away, Tepin pretended to arrange her wares, despite having done so already for the nth time, watching him intently with those eyes, committing his very impressive form to her memory. Soon, there was nothing left of the mysterious stranger except for his card and the beat her heart had skipped.
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loser-hub · 3 years
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Who said birds and cats don't mix?
No one? Okay.
Its cats and dogs?
Well, clearly whoever that said has never seen the antics of Tweety Bird and Sylvester or Tom and Jerry. Cats didn't mix well with other animals, even other felines.
So how you and the Number Two Hero himself managed to go this long without scratching each other's eyes out was a scientific mystery. A question for the ages. Not that you weren't tempted from time to time, he was Hawks, Hawks...he was Hawks and that came with many, many things to contend with. Your animal counterparts didn't always mesh well but you two made it work.
Hey, he was Hawks after all.
Rising through the ranks, from a rookie to a hero of notoriety, wasn't as difficult as they made it out to be in Hero School. No doubt feathers were left in the wake of the person who schmoozed you through to the level just below the penthouse.
Almost immediately you had been scouted out by the Wild, Wild Pussycats due to your feline nature but they were over the top? Their search and rescue abilities didn't fit with your offensive capabilities. You were purrfectly fine just where you were, besides, the top spot was made for fighters anyways. All Might, Endeavor, and one day The Clawful Hero: Nekomata! You would go down in hisstory!
Hawks had been called away for a job, just a little one. It had been a day or two since he left and his texts mentioned he'd be back later that day...or so you thought. He was an incorrigible prankster. His pranks ranged from the minor switching clothes in drawers to the more aggressive bucket of water waiting on the door to the out right cruel act of switching vanilla pudding in cups to mayonnaise, ketchup in jelly donuts, the list goes on and on!
He truly was a cruel, cruel bird.
The rotten egg of the bunch.
Now Hawks saw the perfect opportunity to mess with you after he saw a video of cats reacting to food, catnip and meows. He was going to try them all, one by one. But first came the meow-ing.
For being a birdbrain manbaby his ability to mimic sounds and words was on par with other birds and he had learned so many of your little 'mew's, they were like his coos. Little noises that were unconsciously done but were so adorable in his eyes. So adorable he had to maliciously tease you with them!
Thankfully you didn't hear him enter the apartment, he was oh-so quiet turning the lock and typing out the security code. His dumbass was floating on a bed of his feathers so you wouldn't hear his foot falls, he knew your hearing was far too keen to miss that. Creeping around the kitchen, ducking under the dining room table, slithering cross the floor like a spy agent Hawks searched to find your exact location.
Curled up on the couch, with earbuds in, distracted? Good, good.
"Mow."
No reaction.
"Meow."
He saw your slitted eyes dart to the side.
"Meow."
The sounding call of your kind brought you out of your video watching stupor. Fluffy ears picking up the noise, pointing in the direction you thought you heard them from.
"Meow."
Another.
"Meow!"
The winged man was getting impatient with your lack of response so he decided to go with a noise that was louder, distressed, in trouble. As a hero and animal lover you were bound to investigate.
"Mrow!"
You disappeared from his view as you swiftly and adeptly lept from your cushion on the couch, silently padding along the wall to make it around the corner.
This was the moment.
He knew.
This was his moment!
Any moment now he'd see your head peek around the corner and he could see you jump out of your skin, hearing your shriek. That would be a great welcome home present, that and the reaction he'd get when shoving broccoli in your face in a couple of seconds.
Right on time, he saw the tips of your cute little ears poke around the corner. In one fluid motion Hawks moved around the doorframe and shouted right in your face. Mimicking the noises better than you could.
"MEOW!"
The reaction was priceless, Hawks watched with bated breath as he saw your pupils go round then to dangerous little shivs, your ears folding back and your tail frizzing out to thrice the size. You recognized who your spooker was as soon as the birdman appeared and you bared your fangs at him. That didn't stop your body from doing its natural reaction though, the leg that was primed and ready to kick him in the family jewels instead propelled you off the ground. Right up the wall. Your weaponized claws dug into the plaster and held your agile weight.
The fury that an angered cat harbored was unlike any other. Only matched by the wrath of a miffed Karen and entitled mother and yours were pinpointed at the other hero.
"HAWKS!?!"
"Awh, I was only kitten around, come down."
"Never!"
You held your ground, quite literally, and hissed at him.
Little did you know that he had a 'peace offering' to give you for this exact occasion.
"I brought you back a paw-some gift, would that make up for my little prank?"
"I think it would."
Hawks watched as you clawed your way down the frame, taking chunks of wall and wood with your claws. Making little gloves in the process but the fragments fell once your talons were retracted. Good, there goes the chance at him loosing an eyeball or two.
He waited for you to come within reach and...
Pull the sprig of vegetable from behind his back and thrust it against your face. The leafy tree looking devil spawn threatening to go straight up your nose, cats and cucumbers and cats and broccoli did not mix. Even for a cat person they didn't mix and Hawks knew that all too well. Happily using it to his advantage.
Your face went greener than the broccoli itself, the bile was rising up from the pit of your stomach and your tuna lunch was ready to be spilled out on to the carpet.
"Yuuuucccckkkkk! Blegh!"
"Ha ah! I got you good, Chickadee!"
The large vegetable was waved around like a floppy leek. Dancing and swaying his hips side-to-side in victory as your feline form was rendered incompetent at the food.
"Would you...like a cucumber?"
"Get that thing away from me! Don't you dare! I'll claw your eyes out!"
"If you can catch me, Dove."
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shimmershae · 2 years
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Some, okay a lot, of pre-mid season (tri? season) finale thoughts.  As if you actually asked for them, lol.
And no, I haven’t actually watched the last episode yet.  I’ve been putting it off all morning.  For reasons.  Reasons that I felt the inexplicable need to put on paper, er, screen.  
If you care at all to read the purging of my fatigued TWD fangirl mind, please look beneath the cut.  Fair warning.  It’s long so pull up a chair maybe, lol.  
I’ll admit it.  The spoilers indicating a significant lack of Carol/Melissa content has dampened much of my enthusiasm and there wasn’t all that much to start with.  
Let me tell you why--
The season, so far, has been woefully unbalanced in favor of the Reaper storyline and the Maggie/Negan conflict (which ties back to the Reaper storyline by the flimsiest of strings) and I’m just not invested.  
Why?  
Well, it’s multifold.  
#1 reason why?  Having a third of the last season ever of TWD devoted to going inside “the lions’ den” of villains I have no emotional connection to or curiosity about is a big fat fail.  
You might say “but there’s the Daryl double agent” aspect and I say “so fucking what” because it was so poorly conceived and has felt like such a WTF set of fraying puppet strings for this plot Angela was apparently jonesing to tell from the GO, damn the torpedoes she had to know where inevitably coming her way.  
Seriously.  I had talked myself into accepting that which I could not change, citing Daryl’s emotional brokenness after Rick.  Convincing myself he’d lost his anchor to goodness and hope and fulfillment in his years of self-imposed exile from Carol and what was left of his family and to a certain extent?  I can still by that explanation.  But really.  It’s the Leah of it all.  
Let me attempt to explain.  
To do that, maybe I should detail how I’ve always perceived Daryl.  
Daryl, IMHO, began this journey with us and the rest of Team Family with a figurative fortress erected around his true, core self.  
He was prickly.  Defensive to any overtures of kindness because he inherently did not trust them.  Loathe to form any real connection to anyone other than Merle, his blood.  
Daryl balked at the possibility of emotional connection and flinched in learned fear from physical touch.  
He did not recognize or accept affection or respect at face value because it was something rarely shown to him before.  
Anybody else remember that childhood abuse book from Consumed?  You know.  One of those first times the showrunners/writers dumped a character nugget in our laps and left it to us to do all the backstory in our own imaginations so they didn’t have to enrich their own characters beyond the scratch and sniff, wham bam this is who they are work?  
Anyway.  We were left to extrapolate from that what most of us h ad already suspected--that Daryl’s formative years were already a living hell before the ZA ever happened.  
So he was standoffish.  He didn’t form emotional connections lightly and physical intimacy was something light years out of his comfort zone.  
Until Carol.  
Daryl’s defenses started to crumble from the very start with Carol because she piqued his interest.  He looked at her, watched her withstand Ed’s abuse, and recognized something of himself.  
Against his will, Daryl started to care and when Carol lost the one good thing that had come out of her miserable life with Ed--Sophia--Daryl’s core identity started to be revealed to us and probably?  To himself after burying it so deep for so long.  
Long story short?  Daryl connected with Carol pretty quickly on a base level through the trauma of Sophia’s loss.  
The real connection, the emotional work it too to peel all those protective layers away took more like--like planting a flower from seed and tending it to help it survive and flourish.  
Simply said?  The work was put in and Daryl bloomed with Carol’s (and Team Family’s) care.  They all put in varying degrees of work but Carol planted the seed of his “belonging.”  
And the thing about Daryl?  Once he bloomed?  He grew strong.  He stretched toward the sun.  
He and Carol essentially bloomed and fought their way toward the sunlight together.  
And little by little, Daryl learned to accept the kindness, trust, and love he always deserved.  
From that newly confident man emerged a Daryl not so fearful of forming connections and none have ever been more powerful than his connection to Carol.  
I’ll spare ya’ll the paragraphs of how Daryl and Carol gravitated toward each other like magnets no matter the means of separation.  
I’ll just spell it out like this:  their bond supersedes all others, even Daryl’s bond with Rick.  And with Daryl only accepting affection from those he trusts implicitly, Carol and Daryl have been the only potential “romantic” pairing that has ever fully made sense for his established character.  
At least the character before Angela launched the grenade of Leah into the mix.  
Leah was a fail from the start.  
And you know what?  I’m thinking that was largely intended (for various reasons) but I still think they could have shown Daryl as receptive to having a “romantic” relationship to those willfully blind to the possibility that he’s actually been in a “romantic” relationship with Carol since Season 2.  Never mind that Carol and Daryl haven’t (yet) crossed certain physical boundaries yet.  Emotionally? They are already there even if neither is able to admit it out loud with the actual words yet.  But I digress.  The people that never wanted to “see” Carol and Daryl as “romantic” because they couldn’t fathom Daryl as seeing Carol in that light had already deemed that Daryl just didn’t feel that way about her, that maybe he didn’t feel that way about anybody (if they couldn’t have their way and have him feel that way about their preferred choice for him, they preferred him alone), and Angela wanted to show them differently.  To show them the light.  
That said, if Angela was so hellbent on doing Leah?  There were a multitude of better ways.  
Here.  I’ll give you one of them.  
Daryl isolates himself from his family after Rick’s “death” same as he did in Angela’s version.  
Carol’s been being pulled more and more to the Kingdom because Henry’s needing a mother figure is like catnip to her hurting natural-born, hurting Mama’s heart.  So Daryl’s anchor to the man he’d matured into, the one with all these earned emotional attachments, is reeled back in, little by little, leaving him unmoored.  
Dog literally runs into him just as before.  It hardly makes sense given how young and floppy and uncoordinated puppies are and thus vulnerable to danger, but this is the least of things we need to worry about suspending disbelief for right?  ;)
Dog and Daryl continue to have these run ins until Daryl decides to retrace the puppy’s clumsy trail and viola!  He finds Leah’s cabin and Leah inside.  She levels the same shotgun at him, they have a standoff, until---
Leah suddenly lowers the gun and incredulously says Daryl’s name.  
That’s right.  One simple change and Daryl and Leah have an undefined past already.  
Daryl doesn’t completely let his guard down because he’s Daryl, but he relaxes enough that we see he doesn’t immediately regard Leah as dangerious to his own well-being.  
From that point on, instead of tying Daryl up and threatening him, we could have been told the story of how they knew each other from before.  
My version goes a little something like this--
Daryl met Leah through Merle.  Merle, in turn, met Leah through the military before he got discharged.  He and Leah had an ongoing “I scratch your itch if you scratch mine” thing and Leah?  Well, she always had a bit of a soft spot/interest in Daryl that Daryl never really returned.  
The thing is, though?  With losing the chosen brother that filled the hole left behind by his lost blood brother Merle and losing Carol to her chasing after a chance of a new family (because she feels Daryl’s out of her reach too, our too blind and stupidly, silently in love idiots)?  Daryl finds himself embracing the shared memories however minimal of that brief past and his grief and loneliness leave him receptive to Leah’s eventual advances in ways he never was before.  
We’re still given hints of their unfolding relationship and we still don’t like it, but it makes more sense for Daryl to cling to the past when he feels he’s lost his future.  
Leah still gives her ultimatum (there’s a reason she gravitated toward Merle in perhaps his most toxic state, she’s more than a little fucked up too) and it’s not as much of a hard sell that Daryl might be pulled in Leah’s direction when he feels Carol is all but lost to him.  
Hell.  They could have even explicitly discussed Carol.  But wait!  Angela would have never allowed that because she doesn’t want to shatter all the crackship dreams in one fell swoop.  
But the story from that point on could have continued just as it has and probably I still wouldn’t have liked it but I could have at least bought it somewhat and understood it.  
Obviously, it didn’t. 
I don’t buy the Leah of it all.  Angela built that “relationship” with monopoly money and it shows.  
Because I don’t buy Leah period.  I don’t buy Daryl giving even giving a shit about trying to or feeling like there’s a snowball’s chance to redeem her so I’m not engaged whatsoever with this Daryl double agent story and him even givign her crumbs about his real family.  
That part rings false.  
So that’s a big problem right there and we haven’t even gotten to the other part I don’t buy.  
You know what else I don’t buy?  
#2?  
Why the hell are the Reapers so bloodthirsty for Maggie’s departure from this mortal coil?  
Without giving better reasoning than they’re just cray-cray, the entire faceplants and considering it’s taken up about 70% of 11A’s focus?  I’m pissed.  
Because, IMHO, they should go big or go home on this to give it any entertainment value because it’s all stale, recycled air if not.  
Maggie’s been established as a much darker character this season.  Which led me to believer the Reapers probably had a legit beef against her, but it seems Angela is reluctant to go all that way down the rabbit hole and doesn’t want to commit to what could be a more entertaining and potentially fascinating story than just Maggie’s in the right, the Reapers are just evil.  
Maggie is right about Negan, IMHO, but she’s also wrong in not listening to him when what he’s saying reeks of simple common sense.  Ignoring sage advice makes her seem more like an angry toddler stamping her feet in defiance than the leader they are so bound and determined to tell us she is.  
You know what?  The window for me to give more than the half a fuck I’m giving right now as they beat this dead horse to dust closed when Maggie decided letting Negan rot in the ASZ jail cell was enough and spared him when she finally had her best chance to end him once and for all.  
Maybe if they stopped having the same damn conversation and they didn’t take up 20% of the screen time left after the boring Reapers/Leah shit, I would be less resentful but I’m not and again, I’ll tell you why.  
BECAUSE.  We are in the last season of the OG TWD ever and this show has chosen to waste screen time on stories nobody cares about to the exclusion of the ones we’re yearning for more of.  
Like ASZ.  We’ve barely seen more than an hour of the eight hours devoted to Carol, Aaron, Rosita, Lydia, Judith, Kelly, Jerry and Co. in total.  Especially since they’ve been trying to establish the Commonwealth on the side, too.  
I mean, I never really expected to dig the Commonwealth so my expectations for it were lower than low so they’ve been exceeded at a miniscule level.  But I expected and hoped for ASZ and those characters we’ve cared the most about to receive much more emphasis and the fact that they haven’t in this last season so far has been the biggest FAIL.  
And okay.  Selfishly, I want more Carol.  She’s like salt.  She makes almost everything go down better.  
But really. Give me more of all the characters we actually care about, please.  The Reapers and the offshoots from that story wheel aren’t it.  I love Daryl but I hate this retread story for him.  Leah is a weak point that pressed upon?  Makes this weak ass arc collapse.  Maggie and Negan are giving us nothing new.  They are the definition of the word STALEMATE and that’s not what you want or need on the finale season of a show.  
Yes, I have enjoyed the majority of the episodes overall, but that was because the moments I loved I weighted more than the ones I didn’t and know they have the most impact on the show down the road.  
Probably 11A will fare better when all is said and done and the show can be binged but standalone?  It’s been an overall disappointment and that saddens me more than I can say.  
Anyway.  I’m going to stop rambling now and try to psyche myself up for episode 8.  I’ll be back with thoughts on it later, maybe.  
Sorry for the word vomit, but I felt maybe I could in someway give voice to some of the feelings floating around out there and let you know that you are not alone.  
Until later, lovelies.  
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popatochisssp · 3 years
Note
if/when you get the energy/time to- im really curious; what kinda fuzzy friends do the newer skeles have? does pitch have a seeing eye-dog version of princess? or does ell and/or nemo have a fuzzy buddy to help with their anxiety or anything similar or in-between? spare fuzzy friend hcs for the poor, ma'am????
Well, you asked for it!
Ash (Undergloom Sans): A cat named Annie (Ragdoll), adopted as an emotional support buddy! She picked him, really, just ambling right on up to him, and it was love at first flop-over-his feet. Having a little sweetheart like her to take care of has really helped to pull Ash out of the doldrums and he loves her a lot. She’s a big-time cuddlebug, just like he is, and they definitely spend a ton of time napping together, everywhere and anywhere.
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Annie’s Quirks: Extra chunky (master of the ‘I haven’t been fed yet 🥺’ con), stockpiles socks and undies beneath the bed, shameless catnip junkie
Yrus (Undergloom Papyrus): He feels like he’s not as active as he should be, lots of time spent indoors doing academic things, when there’s a whole beautiful world out there that he should be getting out to see at least sometimes... He has the idea that maybe an animal companion would be the right motivation to get up and out at least a couple times a day, and Cannoli (Pembroke Welsh Corgi) is the solution to the problem! They click pretty much immediately and are just very well-suited to each other, especially as exercise partners.
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Cannoli’s Quirks: Loves (short) walks, rests his head on any feet that stay still long enough, must sleep in the same bed as the people and will hop/bark/cry if he can’t get up there himself
Brick (Horrorfell Sans):He doesn’t know too much of the story himself, he’s sure he was told in more detail but probably forgot. All he remembers is, a friend of a friend had a dog who had an accident...or maybe it got sick? Either way, it went deaf, and the dog was too big and unwieldy for them to try to retrain themselves. But they had a friend who was HoH, and that friend was active in the community with lots of other signing and HoH folks and could ask around about someone who might be up for the challenge of having and training a real big dog that couldn’t hear a word you said to it. That’s how Brick heard about it, anyway, and he’s not deaf but he’s big, and he figures he probably knows at least enough sign by now to train a dog. And that’s how Tiny (English Mastiff) comes to stay at his place. They clumsily work on understanding each other, it’s definitely a Process, but there’s plenty of fondness there to make any difficulty worth the trouble.
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Tiny’s Quirks: Bit of a digging problem, gets very excited about balloons, likes to sit near people and lean his entire weight into them
King (Horrorfell Papyrus): This one may look familiar, but it’s fate-- Doomfanger (Persian) belongs with him and could find her way to him in any universe. ...But King was a little later getting to the Surface, and wasn’t there to pick her up when she was freshly on the streets. She spent awhile longer being an alleycat, a few years of living the rough life, and one day when she’s not quite fast enough to scurry out of the way of an oncoming car, it probably would’ve been the end for her... if not for the kind Samaritan skeleton who was just passing by that scooped her up off the pavement and brought her to a vet. King tried very hard not to get attached to her, especially when it was still looking like she wouldn’t make it, but he kept moving the goalpost of when he’d let himself care about her. ‘IF IT LIVES UNTIL MORNING,’ ‘IF IT MAKES IT TO THE VET,’ ‘IF SHE SURVIVES HER SURGERY,’ ‘IF--’ and then she looks at him, with her goofy drugged up face, freshly missing the foot of her back paw so that they even match now, and... And just like that, Doomfanger has a home and a devoted cat-dad owner and anything else she could possibly need.
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Doomfanger’s Quirks: Likes to be raked, makes an incredible fuss when shut out of any room for any reason, very spooked by loud noises and immediately runs and hides under daddy’s bed
Merc (Horrorswap Sans): He wanted a pet, especially when things were still a little strained with his brother and the nature of his...condition...made it difficult to make friends. He was lonely and a little pal would be very welcome in his home, but he’d also really hate to curse a furry friend with the ever-present threat of being dripped on and getting nasty bone-goop stuck in their fur... Ella (Sphynx) is the workaround to this unusual problem and makes herself right at home with Merc, happy to love on him whether he’s solid or sticky.
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Ella’s Quirks: Has an extensive collection of sweaters that she adores (will sit by her dresser and meow until she is clothed), great sense for emotions and tends to appear whenever she’s needed, transfixed by mirrors
Ell (Horrorswap Papyrus): He didn’t choose Ripley (Maine Coon), Ripley... well, he’s not even sure Ripley chose him. He definitely chose Ella, because that pretty little sweater-wearing vixen in the window is what drove him to bust into Ell and Merc’s house and start sauntering around like he owned the place. Ripley (named before they realized he was a boy-cat) was definitely feral, with a notched ear and a missing eye, but he just keeps coming around, breaking and entering, cuddling with Ella and sharing her food, and when he one day hops into Ell’s lap and curls his big fluffy body up there... Ell makes the (possibly bad) decision to just shut the doors and windows on this mean, fat bastard and make him commit to the self-domestication he’d started. Ripley’s fickle, anti-social, and nine times out of ten mean as hell, but despite it all, Ell’s attached to the fucker. Doesn’t stop him from talking mad shit about his demon-cat to anyone who’ll listen, but y’know, there’s a weird sort of love there, between them both.
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Ripley’s Quirks: Hates other cats and people, with Ell and Ella as the only exceptions (Ell sometimes, Ella always), does truly heinous things to birds and rodents and even bugs if the opportunity presents itself, an escape artist who is not to be trusted around doors or windows
Pitch (Horrorswapfell Sans): Ms. Sandy Peaches (Golden Retriever) is a service dog, trained to assist people with visual impairments in a variety of tasks. Pitch, who’d long been mulling over the idea of getting one such dog, eventually follows through, and as soon as he hears her name, he’s decided-- Sandy Peaches is the one for him! He’s been blind awhile by the time he gets her and generally knows his way around things, but she’s very helpful in his day-to-day and some of the things that were moderately inconvenient to get through before are only mildly inconvenient now, and her value as a helper and a companion is much appreciated.
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Sandy’s Quirks: Gets excited when it’s time to put her vest on and go work, thinks the appropriate amount of brushing time is probably about three hours, loves to go swimming
Nemo (Horrorswapfell Papyrus): He found Dizzy (American Shorthair) after an accidental click led him to a local shelter’s Instagram, where they had a video of her playing and a few hashtags that explained her condition. He learned a lot about cerebellar hypoplasia, aka ‘wobbly cat syndrome,’ and when he eventually made it back to her video and watched it again... it was too late, he was already half in love with her. He contacts the shelter and after a couple weeks making arrangements, purchasing necessities, and wobbly-cat-proofing the house, he braves the outdoors to go get her and bring her home. She’s probably 100% his baby within the first hour and he loves being able to take care of her and help a kitty that not everybody would have the time or dedication to take in. The love is very much mutual and Dizzy’s tail does the ‘omg it’s you, I love you!’ tail-quiver whenever she sees him and trots on over.
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Dizzy’s Quirks: Sixth sense for when there’s clean laundry to be laid on, likes to hold extended warbling and yowling conversations with people, chews on anything that crinkles (keep plastic wrappers out of reach!)
Sunny (Gastertale Sans): As soon as he knew he wanted a dog, he knew he wanted to pick up one of the less adoptable ones. Skipper (Beagle mutt) was certainly that, with only two legs--one in front and one in back. Sunny had a play session with the little guy and admired his energy and how enthusiastically he played, like his missing legs didn’t even phase him. Whatever happened in Skipper’s past, he’s not letting it be his problem now, and needless to say, he’s adopted and taken home in pretty short order. No holds barred fetch and spontaneous frolicking in open fields are a great bonding activity for these two, probably a match made in heaven.
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Skipper’s Quirks: Tennis ball fiend (literally can never have enough), chews on unattended shoes, loves to sing (read: howl) along to music
Aster (Gastertale Papyrus): He wanted a guard dog, some big intimidating-looking thing that would look really, really cool guard the house. He finds Ace (Doberman/Great Dane), unfortunately with his ears already cropped (Aster wouldn’t have chosen the procedure himself), but otherwise a very handsome fellow and still definitely in need of love and a home, both of which Aster was willing and able to provide. He’s attentive with all the care and training his new pup needs, and when Ace grows up just as huge as predicted, looking like a cross between a panther and a hellhound, he’s become an extremely well-mannered and obedient dog, full to the tips of his pointy ears with love for Aster.
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Ace’s Quirks: King of naps, the worst nightmare of any strangers at the door (but very affectionate and loving once they’re in!), will tell you if you’ve stopped petting him too soon, boofing and trying to put your hand back to make you resume
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euphoriatxt · 4 years
Text
txt if they worked at an animal rescue center ♡
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yeonjun
he’s in charge of walking the dogs and making sure all the outdoor cats come back by the end of the day
it’s not really a difficult job but it’s not easy either
there’s one dog that likes to gently headbutt every tree he comes across (his name is lorax)
if yeonjun doesn’t slow down and let lorax pat the tree with his head, he will throw a fit and start wailing
the cats usually don’t create any issues for him
it’s just that when they do come back to the center, they don’t go straight to him and just sit wherever
so he ends up having to take 30 minutes to an hour to find all of them
he loves dressing up the animals and matching with them
there’s an outfit for every holiday, color, weather event, sport, etc (the tiny rain jackets are his favorite)
he makes sure to prepare everything for future owners
he once sat down for 5 hours and went through every song on his playlist to find out each one’s favorite song
he has at least two personalized outfits prepared for each of them that he plans to give to their future owners
he gets really attached to them, and will cry when they get adopted
soobin
out of all of the boys, he spends the most time at the center
he’s there the earliest to feed all the animals and give them their proper medications
he spends his breaks comforting them and training others
before leaving he makes sure to check on every single one of them, giving them food, cuddles, or anything else that they would need
he just loves all of the animals so much :(
has a hard time accepting that some animals just aren’t that friendly
he had to learn the hard way when he found an injured skunk
he didn’t even get close enough to help it before it sprayed him, and he ended up running away
he still feels guilty about it, wondering if the skunk ever healed
he brings so many raccoons to the center for no reason?? and the raccoons just let him???
the boys are shocked that he hasn’t met a mean raccoon yet
“one day you’ll meet one that will try to scratch your eyes out.” - taehyun when soobin brought in the 12th raccoon that week
he always releases the raccoons after feeding them and making sure they’re healthy, but they just come back the next day
somehow able to recognize all of them and distinguish them by name
beomgyu
master animal trainer
he is the reason all the dogs and cats know basic commands and are potty trained already
has even trained some of soobin’s raccoons
absolutely fearless when it comes to helping the more “dangerous” animals
prioritizes the animal’s safety over his own :’)
literally gags when it’s his turn to clean the cages
he can’t last thirty minutes without nose plugs
he loves all the animals, but there’s this one cat that he has beef with
“this is the fifth time she’s put trash in her cage on my day, i know she’s doing this on purpose”
she refuses to be touched by him so they just end up getting into the most intense stare downs
teaches stray dogs how to swim uwu
clowns soobin about how the dogs swim better than him
it’s not often that they find abandoned birds, but when they do beomgyu gets so excited
especially when they’re able to talk
that bird will be able to call the other boys stupid by the end of the week, guaranteed
taehyun
he mostly works outside, overwatching playtime and keeping track of which cats leave
is actually really scared of soobin’s raccoons and how they multiply every time they come back
he tries to stay as far away from them as possible but for some reason they all really like him
he literally has a trail of raccoons following him wherever he goes
“i don’t understand why they like you more, i even built them a little house :( “ - soobin after a raccoon jumped out of his arms to follow taehyun
as much as he’s scared of them, he’s too nice to shoo them away so he tries to outrun them instead (it doesn’t work)
he went through a baking phase so he knows 20+ recipes for animal-safe gourmet treats
has managed to turn it into a side business
there’s a variety of meals/treats he offers that can be categorized by animal, specific allergy, illness, and diet
i guess you can call him an animal nutritionist?
even went as far as making a wedding cake for someone’s dog wedding
hueningkai
now if you thought yeonjun was attached??
this boy lives and breathes with the puppies
there is at least one puppy with him at all times
the puppies are just as attached as he is, it’s a bit concerning
he has full-on conversations with them and cuddle sessions that could go on for hours
he is basically their emotional support human
when he first started working at the center he would give cats catnip after their meals as a “treat” without knowing it would make them high
soobin literally screamed when he saw all the kittens rolling around on the floor
the poor boy had no idea until soobin yelled at him and gave him a lecture
he takes a selfie with every single animal they bring to the center and adds it to their wall of memories
every picture is marked with the animal’s name and the day they were brought in
he gets really emotional if he looks at the wall for too long and starts crying
he really is the purest baby
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holdmyowos · 3 years
Text
Catnip (Neko Denki x Female Reader)
Includes: scent kink, oral sex
You walked into your best friend's house, unannounced and unplanned, as usual. You had gotten to the point in your friendship where you borrowed each other's things and walked into each other's houses at random. "Denki? You here?" Sadly, it looked as if he was not home. You texted him. It looked like he would not come home too soon. You took a look in the mirror. It had rained on the way, and you looked like a horrible mess. A car had splashed you with muddy water on your walk here. Your hair was all tangled up and your make-up was running. Surely he would not mind if you took a quick shower in his bathroom, right?
You took one of his larger shirts, so you had something clean to change into. You undressed, and turned the water on. Denki hated showering, because he was a neko, but in the recent years you had gotten him used to doing it, insisting that society would reject him if he did not. You used only a little of his shampoo, not wanting to be an unwelcome guest, using a lot. As you lathered it on, you coughed a little. It smelled like Axe or some other boy's cologne. You realized that that was what Denki always smelled like. You thought it was his lotion or something, but it turns out it was his shampoo. You finished up getting the soap bubbles out of your hair and dried off using a towel.
A quiet knock on the bathroom door. Denki must be home. Before you could say anything, the door opened. He just stood there, eyeing you up and down. "Don't just stare at me!" you said, annoyed at him. Sure, it was his house, but if he knew to knock, he knew you were in the bathroom. "Why? You have such a nice body," he responded, his ears forward and his tail swishing. You grabbed the shirt you had found and put it on quickly to cover yourself. It covered your body down to your thighs. You instantly regretted choosing a thin white shirt, because with your dripping hair it was soon to become clear. You crossed your arms over your chest, as he tried peeking at your breasts. Honestly, sometimes he was a bit of a pervert. "Because I'm a human. And humans don't look at other humans naked." One of the many things Denki Kaminari could not comprehend about humans. Being a neko made him not understand most human norms, and some other basic things, like math, and writing, and honestly, just about everything that would be taught in a school. He was a pro hero, so those things mattered little to him. He tried fondling your chest, but you kept your arms crossed. "Well I don't see why not. You're sexy. I want to see your body." He cornered you on one of the walls, slowly lifting up the shirt. He licked you on the cheek. You pushed him off.
"What has gotten into you, Kaminari? You never act like this!" Sure, he did on occasion make comments complimenting your body, but he had never come onto you like this. You wiped off your cheek. Wait. You smelled your fingers with the saliva on it, and turned to him. "Are you fucking kidding me? You're high on catnip? Oh my god Denki, what am I going to do with you?" You rolled your eyes at him and sighed. He just gave you a small smile. "Well, it shouldn't last very long. I just have to figure out where the catnip is..." you dove into his pockets, quickly fishing out the packet before he could stop you, and threw it out the window. "... and put it far away from you." He gazed down the side of the wall out the window with a very forlorn expression, his ears back and his tail lashing. "Hey, I was enjoying that." You took him into his bedroom and kept him pinned on the bed until the effects had dissipated, and he correctly told you the answer to four times five. It took him a couple tries.
When it was obvious he was himself again, and you let him up, sitting to the side of the bed, swinging your legs over the side. He got up off the bed. He seemed a bit nervous. "I know I did something bad from that look of yours, but I swear I wasn't in control, and I don't know what I did." He honestly sounded so sorry that you were about to forget the whole thing ever happened and forgive him on the spot. "You look pretty cold with only that shirt on. I could warm you up. You don't have any underwear on, do you? Easy access~" he chuckled. Even now, he was still kind of hitting on you. "How did you-never mind. Denki... do you... like me? Like more than a friend?" His ears perked up and his tail stood still. "I mean, you seem to hit on me a lot. I know you do that to anyone that has breasts," you rolled your eyes, "...but still. If you really do like me, I need to know." He kept opening and closing his mouth, as if struggling for words that would not come to him. He eventually sighed, and gave up on words. "Actions speak louder than words anyway, right?" He took a step closer to you so that he was right next to you, and held you in and quickly kissed your lips, and pulled away. He let out a nervous chuckle, unsure of what you were going to do next.
You slowly and gently hugged him close. "Denki, I love you too. I just didn't want to admit it until at was sure that you felt the same way." You held his strong head against your hand, and he purred at the touch. "But, umm, how did you know I didn't have my underwear on?" He could not have seen your parts, could he have? You made sure to have kept the shirt in the way. He scratched his neck. "It's probably because of how little clothes you have on. I can smell... your scent is so thickly intertwined with my shampoo. It smells so good together. Since you don't smell like perfume or anything, I can really smell you. It's kinda a cat thing, I guess?" The topic seemed awkward for him, somehow. The guy who always talked about who had the biggest tits found an awkward topic? Impossible. "So, you mean, you can smell..." you gestured to your nether regions. He visibly gulped and nodded his head. "You smell so nice. And when I get close to you like this..." he pinned you against the wall. "...your heart races, and it smells like you're in heat. To a tomcat like me, it's nearly intoxicating." You gulped. He slowly tried taking the shirt off again, tugging at the hem of the shirt. You kept it down, refusing him. He made a whining sound. "I thought you were a cat, not a dog. Cats don't beg like that," you playfully teased him. He shook his head. "Please, you don't know what you do to me. Just let me taste you, please. I need to. I'm a simple cat with simple cat instincts. Let me indulge myself."
You blushed at the implications of what he meant, and sat back down on the bed. You ruffled the soft hair on his head. "Are you just kidding, or do you really mean that?" He could be such a tease, and never seemed to know where to draw the line. He knelt down and slowly spread your legs apart, one hand on each inner thigh. "Denki, you aren't serious, are you? You literally just confessed and I-!"
He blew on your clit gently, the cold wave causing you to clench your legs together, but he kept them pried open. You stared down at his eyes and met his gaze, completely serious and totally defiant. It was a bit unnerving. "Denki, are you sure you want to-!" He took one hand and kept your legs open, one finger on each side of your opening, and with the other hand he took two fingers gently trailing down the clit. He gently pressed one finger in. You sucked in a breath, fighting to keep your legs open for him. "Fuck, Denki! D-don't stop, please." He looked up at you with a grin on his face. "I love the way your body reacts to my touch," is all he said in response. That sent a shiver down your spine. He slowly added another finger, curling it and uncurling in. You breathing shuddered. You felt something wet against your entrance and looked down. He had pressed his tongue against you, and looked like he was enjoying it.
"Hell, look at you. Such a slut for pussy." you taunted. He moaned, his lips vibrating against you. You gripped onto a fistful of his hair as he slipped his tongue in, licking and sluring up your juices. You squeezed your legs together, and this time he let go of your legs, allowing you to crush him between your thighs. He let out another moan, his vibrations shooting through you in pleasure. After a minute or two of that, you got used to the sensation. A sudden pain zapped through you, and you arched your back, realizing that Denki had zapped you. He used this opportunity to push his tongue in further. He moaned into your pussy as you clenched around his tongue. "Denki, you bastard. What the hell." He opened your legs with his arms, and came up for air, he panting heavily, clear fluids coming from around his mouth. Your fluids mixing with his saliva. The sight made you rub your legs together for more friction. He let out an almost evil chuckle as he pounced on top of you, his hips rocking against you. He leaned in for a deep kiss. He parted, panting. "You like me making you taste yourself, don't you? You're making me do all the work." He took his shirt off of you and stared at you. He had really nice abs. You trailed your fingers along the lines on his stomach. You got up, aware that he was watching you, and rummaged through his dresser drawers. When you got to his underwear drawer, you found what you were looking for. "Honestly, not much of a hiding place." You tossed the condom to him.
"Y-you mean, you actually want to do it? With me?" He sounded surprised. "Well, yeah. I already made you do 'all the work', remember?" He took his clothes off slowly. "Fuck, my stomach throbs just at the thought of being inside of you." Your face heated up at his words, knowing you were in for a long night by the grin on his face and the bulge in his pants. "What the hell have I gotten myself into this time?" You murmured. "Don't worry babe, I'll make you feel great," he flashed back at you.
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Text
Don’t Worry, Be Snappy!
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Summary: Amber finds herself stranded on a boat with Mike Weiss…and as anything where Mike is involved, it all gets a little crazy!
Warnings: Bad Language words.
A/N:  As it is past midnight here in the UK here it is!
BEWARE- This is utter, utter nonsense. You’re about to get an insight into exactly how stupid mine and @icanfeelastormbrewing​ ‘s minds and brain storming sessions really are. But it made us laugh, and we hope it makes you laugh too.
Written especially for @sweater-daddiesdumbdork​ for her birthday! Happiest of days to you Ambi, we love you lots!!!
Fic Song: Don’t Worry, Be Happy by Bob Marley 
Now listen to what I said, in your life expect some trouble, when you worry you make it double. But don't worry, be happy, be happy now
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 The problem with Mike Weiss is, well, just that he is Mike Weiss. Total crackpot, in more ways than one. Which was why Amber found herself one sunny July afternoon sailing down a literal creek without a paddle as they searched for his pet alligator. Mike had been struck by a sudden idea the previous night that it would be nice to take Snappy to the Everglades- “So he can associate with his own kind, learn so alligator social skills”
Of course, despite Mike’s protests to the contrary, Snappy was instinctively a fucking wild animal. So as soon as Mike had dropped him into the water he had slunk off into the weeds and completely ignored (again, not surprisingly) Mike’s calling of his name.
“Why did you let him go Mike?” Amber groaned, laying back on the bench in the boat.
“I was high, ok?” Mike sighed “Seemed like a good idea.” He chewed the inside of his cheek a little as he glanced around, hands on his hips “Here Snappy, Snappy.” “Yeah, he’s mingling Mike…there’s no fucking way we’re A- gonna find him, or B- he’s gonna come back!” “I love what a positive, always look on the Brightside kinda gal you are.” Mike shot her a look as he steered the boat carefully down the small reed lined stream.
“I’m a realist.” Amber sighed, still looking up at the clouds “You should try it sometime.”
At that point the boat they were on gave a little stutter and Amber sat up to see Mike glancing curiously at the controls.
“Erm…” he looked around “It broke.” “What do you mean it broke?” “Well it was working…” Mike rolled his eyes “And now it’s not.” “Fucks sake…let me try.” Amber sighed. She stood up, shoved Mike out of the way and she turned the key in the ignition. Nothing. With a groan she looked at him, her hands on her hips “I TOLD you we should have taken my fucking canoe.”
She flopped down back into her seat with a growl.
“Someone’s cranky” Mike whispered and Amber glared at him.
“You know what, I am, you’re right.” She pointed at him “You’re a dumb dork, who does dumb dork things, like letting an alligator go free in the middle of the swamp in FUCKING FLORIDA!”
Mike opened his mouth to say something but the sound of another boat engine drew their attention and they both turned. Amber’s eyes were instantly taken by the man steering the boat who was dressed in a white shirt and a dirty pair of jeans. His wind ruffled hair was stuck up slightly and his eyes were hidden by a set of aviators. A small girl with blonde hair sat besides him, a ginger cat on her lap and behind her perched a woman with long, reddy-brown hair, a pair of glasses also over her eyes.
“You guys alright?” the man asked as they pulled up alongside them.
“Yeah, this dumbass managed to strand us here.” Amber jerked her hand over her shoulder.
“Frank did that to us once.” The young girl grinned and the man who had just stopped the boat besides them looked down at her.
“That was the one time my repairs let me down.” He shook his head.
“One time too many.” She quipped.
Amber snorted, “I like you kid.”
The little girl smiled “I’m Mary, this is my uncle Frank and his girlfriend Fliss.”
“Nice to meet you all.” Amber smiled. “I’m Amber and this is Mike.”
“Want me to take a look at it?” Frank asked, nodding to the boat “I do it for a living so…”
“Be my guest.” Mike said, and Frank nodded, heading to the back of his boat.
“So what are you doing here?” Mary asked.
“Mary stop being so nosey.” Fliss sighed.  Mike gave a chuckle.
“We’re looking for my pet alligator…”
“Yeah Idiot Boy here set him loose. Thought he needed some alligator time with other alligators…” Amber rolled her eyes.
“You have a pet alligator?” Mary’s eyes widened. “Frank, can-“ “No.” Frank cut her off as he turned round, a length of rope in his hand.
“It can live in the pool!” Mary pressed
“Absolutely not.” Fliss looked at her and then their attention turned to Mike as he gave a chuckle.
“Can’t keep em in a pool kid, chlorine…not good.” Mary paused and then grinned “We can build him a lake in Monty’s field…” “The hell we can.” Frank snorted.
“Ah go on man, make the little girl happy!” Mike smiled. “They make great pets…”
“Clearly they don’t.” Frank grumbled, looking Mike up and down before he frowned at the man’s ridiculous shirt and trouser combination. Fliss grinned.
“Nice boots” she said, gesturing to Mike’s cowboy specials.
“Thanks!” Mike flashed her a cheeky grin and a wink.
“Shame about the rest of it.” Frank quipped, as he tied a length of rope to the side of the stranded boat, securing it to his own so he could hop over onto the deck.
“You’re calling my outfit out?” Mike scoffed, gesturing with his hand to Frank’s loud yellow and black Hawaiian print shirt “Exhibit A your honour.” “Clearly this is some sort of shit outfit competition.” Amber mumbled.
“I feel you sister.” Fliss grinned “Are you two…erm…together…or…” “Never seen him before in my life.” Amber denied and Fliss laughed.
“What the fuck Amber?” Mike protested.
“He just turns up from time to time when he has the munchies and eats all my Sour Patch Kids.”
“That’s not the only thing I eat.” Mike grinned and Frank let out a snort.
“Yeah, sure.” Amber rolled her eyes before she looked at Fliss and Mary, dropping her voice “He also eats my dog, Tikka’s, food.” “Frank ate one of Fred’s catnip treats once.” Mary said and Frank shrugged, not taking his attention of the engine of the boat.
“I wanted to see what the fuss was about.”
“You were drunk” Mary retorted.
“That was the night you came home saying the leprechauns had stolen your jacket.” Fliss said.
Mike grinned “I see leprechauns a lot.”
Amber shook her head “Jesus Christ…” she mumbled.
“Ok, I see the problem.” Frank smiled, stranding up and turning to Mike “You’re out of fuel.”
Amber blinked as Mike turned to her, giving her a small shrug and an innocent, boyish smile as she exploded “What the…you didn’t think to CHECK?” “I thought they were electric.” Mike shrugged.
“God you’re an idiot…should have brought my canoe.”
“You know, that’s the second time you said that.” Mike looked at her.
“Really, well here’s the third…” She snarked “I. SHOULD. HAVE. BROUGHT. MY. CANOE!”
“Ok, we can give you a tow back.” Frank said, moving back to climb into his own boat. “Get you back to the centre.” “No can do.” Mike shook his head, “Need to find Snappy…” “Yeah, erm…” Fliss pointed to something that was approaching them, a confused expression on her face “I think he may have already found you.” They all turned and as they watched Snappy sail past their boat led on an Alligator shaped pool inflatable, being pushed by an extremely good looking man in a wet suit. He glanced up at them, smiling, his teeth white from behind his beard and he flicked his long hair back out of his eyes.
“Leave no gator behind.” He said simply, as he continued swimming past, Snappy basking on his inflatable.
Amber blinked, looked at the can of coke she was holding and turned to Mike “What the fuck did you put in this?” “Nothing…” “And why am I suddenly cold?” she frowned.
“Cold?” Frank looked at her “It’s like 90 degrees…in the middle of Florida.”
“That may be, but I’m still cold…” she frowned “And why is it going dark…”
****
Amber sat bolt upright, her head colliding painfully with the bunk above her, breathing deeply as she looked around. The light and warmth she had been feeling had been replaced with dark and cold, the blues and greens of Florida swapped for the dark greys and browns of the train…
“Hey…” a familiar voice said and she turned to look at Curtis as he sat up besides her “You ok baby?”
“Yeah, I just had the strangest dream.” She said as her man gently rubbed between her shoulders as she began to explain to him what she’d been dreaming about. He arched an eyebrow, sniggered occasionally and then snorted with laughter, a rare thing for Curtis Everett, when she told him about the inflatable alligator.
“And Mike, Frank, the Diving guy…they looked a bit like you. Which is odd.” She finished shrugging.
“Well I’m clearly on your mind.” Curtis quipped as he lay back, arms folded behind his bed as he gave her a sinful look “And you should be on my face so I can wish you a happy birthday properly.”
Amber grinned and shuffled round to straddle him before she stopped, her hands falling to his chest.
“On one condition.” She smirked.
“What?”
“Take your beanie off first. It gives me a rash.”
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Survey #479
“war sends our sons to slaughter  /  another failed attack; there is no turning back”
Have you ever boycotted something? Yes: Chick-fil-A. Homophobic, transphobic pieces of shit. Has anyone ever borrowed something from you, and not returned it? Yes, a video game when I was little. I was so mad, lol. Do you vent a lot on social media? No. I don't want people to get annoyed with me. What was your first bill you started paying on your own? I haven't been responsible for any bills yet. What is your favorite charitable cause to donate to or volunteer for? I can't/don't do either really, but if I could, I'd probably donate to uhhhh... suicide prevention organizations. As for volunteering, definitely something with animals. Have you ever dated someone who wasn’t at all your usual type? No. What is something you have no patience for? Waiting at the doctor's office. Have you ever received a misdiagnosis? Yes. What’s that you’re listening to? I'm watching Gab play The Evil Within 2. What kind of relationship do you have with the last person you kissed? We're a couple. What is your biggest accomplishment in life? Still being alive. What is one thing that you really wish you could understand, but don’t? Political stuff. Economics. Have you ever been tutored or tutored someone yourself? I had an Algebra tutor the last time I was in college, and I had to strangle an anxiety attack down because I wasn't understanding the material AT ALL and felt so dumb and annoying. I never did it again. What was the last thing you said out loud (singing doesn’t count)? "It's really embarrassing," to Mom. It really is fucking humiliating that my ankles are swollen from walking/standing more and pushing my desk chair back against the resistance of the carpet. That's pathetic. I'm trying to focus on the fact it's good my body is even reacting to moving more, though. Is everything you have on actually yours? Yep. Do you ever just randomly drive around when you’re upset about something? I don't drive, but if I did, that would NOT be my method of de-stressing. What was the last act of creativity you displayed? Writing an RP post. What’s your favorite department in Wal-Mart? Uh, I guess where you can go see the plants and flowers. Do you find kite flying boring? I LOVED it as a kid. I'd still probably find it kinda fun. Do you have any interest in visiting Japan? Yes, but it's not a massive interest. I've heard the humidity can kill a bitch, and I am NOT into that. Have you ever run a cash register? Yes. I sucked. Have you ever worked as a server? No. Have you ever done the Bratz challenge on YouTube? No, but I saw James Charles do it and it was v unnerving, holy shit. Would you rather paint or carve a pumpkin? Carve. What was your worst experience in high school? My depression as a whole. How much did your senior prom dress cost you? I don't remember. Have you ever been in a serious romantic relationship? Three, if you include my current one. Which part of your body is the most muscular? Uh, nothing? What is the first site you check when you get online, generally? KM. Are you good at creative writing assignments? That's my forte. In elementary school, I actually won a I think county-wide creative writing short story assignment. Not to brag, but I've always been very proud of that, ha ha. Or would you rather just do an informative essay? That's easy for me too, but I prefer writing creatively. Are you more attracted to the badasses, or the goody-goody types? Definitely the goody-goodies. The "bad guys" have never appealed to me romantically. Do you raise your hand or participate in class? I did if I really wanted to ask something or was confident in an answer. What is something BIG you want to do with your life? Make a difference, somehow. What do you think of people who own wild animals? Do NOT just casually take in animals from the wild. That's selfish and just generally disgusting. If you're going to keep an animal generally described as wild and undomesticated, you'd better have a license and deserve that license. Know what you're doing and be certain that keeping the animal in captivity is in the animal's best interest for its unique case. Are you good at explaining things, in general? NOOOOOOOOO, I suck at that. Do you like visiting the mall? Why or why not? Not our mall, no. Its stores suck/are extremely limited, and SO much crime has happened there. Do you like window shopping? Why or why not? YESSSSSSS, mostly on Morph Market, a mostly reptile selling hub online. You can browse TONS of breeders and literally thousands of reptiles, especially ball pythons. They even have a tarantula section I like to look at sometimes. If you lost your job/home/etc., who would likely help you? If I'm losing my home, I'm assuming my mom is gone, so my dad. Why did you first kiss the last person you kissed? We were a couple and I felt like I was supposed to. At that time I didn't see him romantically, but I desperately wanted to. Funny how we're back together and I've no reservations against kissing him now. Feelings change, for sure. Plans for tonight? Girt and I will probably play some WoW Classic together. We've started playing that together, and it's lots of fun with him. :') Has anyone seen you kiss the last person you kissed? Actually, no. Have you ever been kissed in a car? Yeah. Do you think anyone has feelings for you? I know Girt does. Is there anyone in your life that knows right away something’s wrong with you? My mom. Who last made you smile? Girt, 'cuz he's a sweetheart. Where is your mother? She's in bed in her room. She feels like shit. Like, you would think she WASN'T vaccinated, though her long-time doctor has said she'd probably be dead without it while having Covid. Would you rather look at clouds or stars? Stars. Think about your biggest mistake, would you go back and change it? I absolutely would. Are you dating the person you last kissed? Yeup. What is the most immature item you own and actually use? Um. Idk. Do you always take a shower after you have sex? I... didn't know people did this? Like I know women are advised to pee after sex, but full-on showering? No. Do you like chocolate popsicles? Oh hell yeah. Are your parents proud of you? They claim to be. I don't see how. Are you interested in the ocean? Yeah; it's inarguably so fascinating. Hot dogs or hamburgers? I prefer burgers. Have you ever been to a Chinatown in any of the cities you’ve been to? No. Have you ever been to couple’s counseling? No. Do you have any dietary restrictions? No. Have you ever turned down a job offer? No. What’s the largest animal you’ve ever had as a pet? A dog named Cali that was a boxer mix. Do you ever pray, even if you don't believe in God? What exactly is the point if you don't believe in God...? Anyway, I don't. Have you ever been to Mexico? No. Have you ever gotten stuck in quicksand before? No. What's the shortest or longest length you've ever had your hair grow? To around the small of my back. The last nest you saw - was it a bird nest or a hornet's nest? I think a bird's? Do you enjoy Jeff Dunham? I don't know if I'd like him as a person, but I do think he's a funny comedian. Who is your favorite character from Frozen? I was never into the movies. I do think Elsa is kinda cool (no pun intended, lol), though. I like that she has her flaws. Did you finish high school? If not, do you plan on doing so? I did. Have you been in a simulator that mimicked a submarine or rollercoaster? A rollercoaster, yes. How often do you go out to eat instead of cooking for yourself? Mom and I try to avoid fast food for our health. We do a pretty good job at it, but sometimes for convenience's sake, we do eat it. What is the largest family of siblings that you know of? This is probably gonna come across as very judgmental, but... it really bothers me. I don't know how many kids she has now, but one of the dance moms from the studio has SO many children; I've completely lost count. Now if you want that many kids and can provide for them, that's cool. But that's not the case. She uses the "if God wants me to have a baby, then it will happen" mentality, and I'm just like... um, no hunny. Poor choices are leading to kids you're not adequately providing for. She uses no methods of protection and literally has twins whose room is a fucking closet. Ugh it just really bothers me. What foreign languages were offered to you at school? A whole lot. Only Spanish and I believe French were offered as in-school courses, but there were lots of online classes. If you were required to take a course right now, what would you choose? Photography. Team Biden or Team Trump? Over my dead body would I have voted for Trump. My vote went with Biden. What is an animal native to your country that may not exist in others? Bison are factually exclusive to North America. Note that bison and buffalo are different. What are some of your favorite autumn activities? Taking pictures of fall scenery. <3 What are some of your favorite winter activities? Going out in the snow. :') Especially with a camera. Do you eat a shit-ton the week before your period? uuugggghhHHHHHH yes Wendy's, McDonalds, or Burger King? Wendy's. What's the weirdest question you've ever asked Alexa? I've never asked Alexa anything. Do you prefer your apple cider to be warm or cold? I've actually never had it. Do you prefer your coffee hot or iced? Y'all know the story of me and coffee. Can you sing the alphabet backwards? I can't. Have you ever sent flowers or chocolates to yourself before? Ha ha, no. Is there any meat that you won't eat? Yeah, fish and ANYTHING that comes from a wild animal. Does your cat use anything other than it's scratching post as a scratcher? When we got him a scratcher WITH CATNIP, the lil butthead ignored it. -_- He scratches the carpet instead. Did you go through a vampire craze before? Are you still going through it? Nah. Have you ever forged your parents' signature on a poor test paper, etc? No. Has a bird ever pooped on you before? Omg, no. I'd die. Have you ever been sprayed by a skunk before? No. Are black jellybeans delicious or disgusting? I HATE them. Have you ever rolled down a grassy hill before? I have! I miss that.
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saltys-writings · 4 years
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Got7 as Cats
Repost because the old one didn’t show in the tags!
More parts~
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JB:
black and white kitty of average size
big and friendly amber eyes
has a completely white tail with only the tip being black
which looks super funny when he’s in his favourite sleeping place up on your wardrobe and the only thing you see of him is his tail slowly swaying from one side to the other or twitching if he has an exciting dream
likes sitting on your grandparents’ old record player while it’s playing, slowly spinning on top of the record and watching the world around him pass by slowly
gets fed up with it and jumps up as the tone arm keeps moving closer to the middle, preventing him from comfortably sitting on the black record
also likes sprawling out on pianos or rubbing his face against the guitar standing around in your room
in general he seems very drawn to everything that has to do with music
sleeps little compared to other cats
usually he’ll just laze around with his eyes half open, watching you whenever he can
he loves watching you do whatever and sometimes he’ll get up and after stretching thoroughly and yawning, he’ll silently walk over to you to bump his head against your chin or nose
actually he doesn’t care much about other humans or animals, but with you he’s more welcoming
trusts you a big deal, and you’re really the only person who he likes being petted or brushed by
usually when other people try to touch him he’ll just get up and walk away to find a more calm and silent place
hates kids and dogs (=anything that’s loud) a lot and will hide away where not even you can find him if there’s either of the two around
very behaved and doesn’t bite or scratch
doesn’t play much either, he’s really just more of a cat that will roam around in your place and give it that feel of “here lives a cat”
but if you want excitement out of your relationship with your cat he isn’t the one for you
Mark:
white and light brown kitty
super friendly
also super sleepy
will direct 110% of his attention to you for the 2 hours he’s awake each day
remembers pretty quickly when you get home each day and his inner clock wakes him up just before you do
so when you turn the key in the doorlock he’ll come running immediately, meowing loudly to greet you
he’ll follow you around for a while and walk right in front and in between your feet
and if you don’t pet him he’ll get REALLY whiny and will spread out on your stuff as soon as you’re trying to do literally anything
likes offering you his soft white belly to pet and will usually let you touch it without problems
eats nothing but chicken (and bread)
whenever you have bread on the table, on a counter, or in any other place in your house he can reach, he will sit down next to it and start licking it until it has this really soaked spot full of cat saliva
but even when he does this you can’t really get mad at him because he’ll just turn around and look at you with his big friendly green eyes and start purring
tends to react very strongly to being petted on his back and especially on his lower back where the tail starts
always pushes his whole body into your hand when you touch him there and the tip of his tail will bend forwards to signal that he loves this and please keep petting right there
very sociable around humans, but also likes hanging out with other animals
in general he’s very curious about everything and will watch other cats, dogs, birds, small animals like hamsters or bunnies, and even horses with great interest
really just gets along well with literally anyone and everyone - no matter if human or animal - loves him
Jackson:
tabby with a striped pattern
even as a cat he is lowkey ripped has a strong build
only fights other cats as a form of play though
usually when he gets seriously pissed he’ll just hiss and arch his back and then backwards tiptoe the shit out of there
loves to be carried around on your shoulders
he’ll really get cranky if you don’t let him up there for a while
also loves sitting there while you do stuff like cooking, studying, watching TV, etc.
never interferes with your activities though and just watches with great interest
loves playing with anything but his toys
especially strings and other long and dangly objects of any kind are dangerous with him
he WILL try to catch and kill that thing, even if it is already very much dead
give him a piece of yarn and he’ll be occupied for
...about 5 minutes - who am I kidding?
has to be played with actively or he’ll get bored and start taking your home apart
so you better tire him out everyday before you go to sleep or you won’t recognize your place when you wake up the next morning
whenever he uses his litter box, chances are you’ll find litter up to five meters away from the box
that doesn’t mean he isn’t clean, he’s just... not very fast with cleaning himself
so instead of making sure all the litter gets off his fur right where his box is, he’ll shake it off over time while walking elsewhere
don’t let him out or he’ll break into other people’s homes and try to steal their food
he once got himself locked in a basement for a whole night and only got back out because his meows were so loud that they woke up the neighbours
a family also once returned him to you, with their two daughters crying because they totally wanted to keep the kitty
in the end you had to promise them to let them come visit him once every two weeks
the upside is that they always bring along catfood and you have to spend a little less money on that
Jinyoung:
ginger cat
has a scar on his nose that another cat rightfully gave him when he was growing up
is - in short - a real jerk of a cat
also MOOD SWINGS
will be the cuddliest uwu bundle of fur ever one second, and then the most furious monster you ever saw the next
HATES other cats
really, he despises them
will usually sit next to them, appearing calm and just watching them, and then out of the blue punch them square in the face
you think he’s still salty that he got that scar on his nose years ago
the type to pee into your shoes for no reason
or throw up in the microwave if you forget to close it
really, whenever you take something out of the microwave or put something in you need to do so fast, because by the time you’re done chances are he’s already standing next to you, glaring up at the microwave with all the hate in his eyes he can muster
keeps staring when you turn it on and will get ready to jump as soon as it gives the signal that it’s done
usually he’ll just jump for it when you open it, so you have to keep him from reaching it by blocking the way with your arm (which he will of course hold onto with his claws)
loses interest when it’s closed and it becomes apparent you’re not using it anymore anytime soon
what does he have against the microwave anyway...?
likes sunbaths a lot
surprisingly also likes water - it hasn’t been just one or two times you had to throw him out of the bathtub when you were getting ready to take a nice relaxing bath after a tough day at work or school
doesn’t like being touched much, but if you’ve lived with him for long enough he will permit you to give his back two or three quick strokes once a day
also likes going out to hunt and will usually bring a small mouse or a tiny gecko back home and offer it to you as a sign of his acceptance of your existence
Youngjae:
long haired kitty with chubby cheeks
giant paws that look like he could seriously hurt you with them, but in reality they’re just really soft
will use his claws for playing excessively though
likes lazing around and playing on the floor the most
usually very careful not to hurt you, but he can get a little too into playing and end up scratching you if you don’t pay attention
likes being scratched behind his ears and under his chin a lot but won’t hesitate to bite if you even think about getting near his fluffy belly
tends to have a lot of mats there though, and those can get quite uncomfy for him, which will in turn irritate him and when he’s in a bad mood he’ll bite you if you’re just standing next to him
so you’ll have to let him bite you one way or the other aksjflksa
you don’t realize just how huge his mouth is until he’s all comfy in a sunny spot at your place and lets out a big yawn, showing off his teeth and pink kitty tongue
sleeps literally anywhere
sprawls out on the floor in the most inconvenient place ever and won’t move for a solid five hours so you have to step over him all the time, because he will definitely not wake up from this nap anytime soon
your bed is a very beloved sleeping place of his as well, especially your pillow, because it smells so nicely like you uwu
he’s usually awake and roaming your place during the night, but will sneak into your bedroom and curl up next to your pillow when it’s almost time for you to get up
will never loudly beg for food ever
instead he’ll just stare up at you and follow you around, bumping into your legs over and over again until you feed him
not picky about food, but loves fish a lot
please don’t give him catnip unless you want a hyperactive hairy high and snappy cat scattering the catnip all over your place kasfjlkas
BamBam:
thin, elegant cat with veryveryvery short, light-colored fur and amber eyes
you put a collar with a golden nametag on him after you got him
you thought he’d hate it and try to get rid of it like most other cats, but turns out he loves it
loves being looked at and will puff out his chest on purpose when people are watching him
kinda gets along with other cats, though they will usually avoid him mostly and he won’t make much of an effort to approach them either
it’s all about coexistence in apathy lol
only eats gourmet food (might be because you never really tried feeding him... you know... normal cat food...)
doesn’t go out much, but time and time again he likes venturing outside to take a short walk through your garden
but will return back inside soon because the many toys and the huge cat tree you bought him are more interesting to him
plus they’re familiar so he can really relax there
likes being petted especially on his head and loves scratches behind his big ears
likes sitting in inconvenient places - like on the box the mailman only just brought and you took your eyes off of for a second to lock the door, or the pack of take-out sushi you just bought, or your new shoes that you wanted to wear to tonight’s party
at least he can’t get hair on any of it
speaking of sushi, he loves watching you eat that and then look at you with half closed eyes, putting a paw on your arm to signal that he wants to try some
will start kneading your arm and purring loudly if you don’t give him any
tried smelling the pickled ginger that comes with it once and almost threw up on the floor as a reaction
but he’s also still Bambam, so sometimes, in the middle of the night when you’re still up you will find him lying in a corner of the living room in an impossible position with his body twisted in ways you didn’t know a cat could move, and derping at you with his tongue hanging out of his mouth sideways and one of his eyes being half open while he snores loudly yes he sleeps like this
Yugyeom:
grey little kitty that looks big because of his relatively long fur
blue eyes since birth that everyone loves him for
they also help him fool people into thinking he’s a cat you’d totally wanna own
honestly though, if you don’t have a bunch of extra time on your hands you really don’t want to own him
needs so much attention
acts like he’s dying every time you have to leave home and you can hear his cries even after closing the door behind you
is also overjoyed and will start climbing your legs to make sure you’re never leaving again after you come back (even if you were just away for like a minute to get the mail)
you really need to train him a lot to be able to stay away for a longer amount of time
whenever you’re home you always have this feeling in your gut that you’re being watched
turn around and chances are you’ll find him sitting on some surface across the room, watching you intently
comes running up to you for pets and cuddles at least ten times a day
the upside of this is that he will never ever feel overstimulated and lash out at you for petting him too much
the downside is that you can barely do stuff because chances are if he isn’t watching you, he’ll be in the way, sprawling all over your things and your arms and then still expect you to be able to pet him
you can often come to an agreement though, having him doze off in your lap and petting him with one hand, so you can at least use the other hand to do things
if you take your second hand away for a while he’ll gently put his paw on it to signal that you should keep petting him
loud
so damn loud
will meow and whine and cry all day every day if he isn’t getting enough attention
also has a crippling fear of the vet
whenever you have to take him there you need to hold him the whole time, or he’d just nyoom out of there and hide somewhere narrow where neither you nor the vet nor his assistance nor any other human being can reach him
sometimes in the middle of the night he will meow in front of your bedroom door because he wants cuddles right now
better let him in or he’ll start scratching your door and you’ll have marks all over it by morning
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closer-stars · 4 years
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Maybe 9 Lives with You - Yunho
Member: Yunho Genre: Fluff Words: ... just a lot, but not my usual number? Yeah. Requested: Yes! @lilyunhowrites Content: Food. Cat searching. Please just give him his cola.  Note: This is a little shorter than my usual but I tried my best >< I hope it’s okay! :<
You wanted to spend a day with Yunho after his hectic schedules. Maybe go and watch some busking, or go to the arcades, hell you wouldn’t even mind just staying at home doing a Harry Potter marathon until either of you fall asleep on the other. Any way to just relieve him of his stress for the upcoming comeback. Yunho didn’t live with you still but he was a regular around the area because of you. Some neighbors have already made the mistake of assuming that both of you live together. It’s a welcomed idea but both of you know it isn’t time yet. 
This was the last way you expected it to go. Your neighbor needed help looking for his pet cat, somehow the little guy managed to slip out of the door without him knowing. While the cat could manage on their own in the open, his worry was still very much valid. No one knows where the little guy went off to, much less when he’ll return. 
“Please help me find him.” He pleads to the both of you.
How could you say no to your elderly neighbor who had nursed you back to health when you were sick over the years? 
“Ah! Mister, do you have any toys that you use to play with him?” Yunho asks.
You throw him a questioning glance but let him talk. Your neighbor hands the both of you two of his favorite toys. “Thank you so much.” He says over and over as he continued to look around the vicinity. 
“San’s stories with Byeol gave me the idea of having his toys that probably have the scent of his owner so..” Yunho explains a little shyly, on your way to look through probable places for a cat to hide in. 
That was enough of a legitimate reason. You’ve never met Byeol but you were aware of how lively that baby was. 
So here you were now with Yunho, looking through greeneries and alleys for the white ball of fur that your neighbor loves dearly. You felt bad honestly, that this was how your day with him was going. Both of you stressing over a sly feline. Occasionally, either of you would shake a cat toy in your hand. 
Hours have passed and both of you were already a little out of breath. You wanted to catch your breath for a moment, but your partner in crime seems to have no plans of slowing down. His skin shines from the thin sheen of sweat from having walked around the city. You’ve seen him be focused with his work, or with unboxing any of the purchases you’ve made. To see him this focused to look for a cat he has rarely seen? It made your heart do a little flutter. 
He notices your eyes on him, but your eyes have gone unfocused. “Hey, are you alright?” He asks, brushing your hair away from your face in concern. It brings you out of your thoughts and you nod in reassurance. 
“I’m fine. I just.. I feel bad that your day off went like this.” You mumble as you go through a few bushes, you don't want to face the male as you say something that even you found a little selfish. 
“I really don’t mind. True, we could’ve stayed at home, eating pizza and watched movies but finding his cat is a nice change.” He smiles though, even if you can’t see it, that same warm smile he smiles that never fails to make you breathe a little funny. “As long as I spend this day off with you, that’s already good for me.” He adds as he hops over a few rows of plants while wiggling the catnip filled toy. 
He doesn’t catch the way your cheeks turn pink. He does catch your surprised squeal and huff and he turns to your direction in alarm. “Are you o-- oh!” 
There was the culprit on your lap, the front paws trying to reach for the toy in your hands. Your laughter mixed with the cat’s miffed meows was something he didn’t think he’d find himself loving. He took a quick photo of the sight in front of him before jogging over to the two of you. He always did consider himself a dog person, but seeing how you looked with a cat. Maybe a life together with a cat or two didn’t seem so bad? 
“There you are.” He coos softly as he scoops the feline into his arms. The white fur was covered in bits and pieces of dried leaves and dirt but he didn’t seem to bother as long as he had a toy in his paws. 
Your legs managed to get the rest they badly needed upon watching the tall male play with the cat. “Pull me up!” You whine to him as you stretch out your hand. Yunho on the other hand, pretends to not hear you ask for his help and continues to coddle the cat. This causes you to pout at the male, whining even more. “Fine, I won’t buy you pizza and cola.” You say as you position yourself to stand up on your own. This gets him to act quickly, pulling you up with ease and steadying you gently with his hand on your waist.
“Pepperoni, sixteen inch pizza please~” 
He was lucky you love him. You roll your eyes but nod at his request, your gaze softening at the little one in his arms. “Let’s get him first to his owner. He’s probably worried sick still.” Your fingers gently thread through the unruly fur as the cat finds a comfortable position in his arms. “God what is it with you? Literally this guy is about to fall asleep in your arms.”
“Just tell me if you’re jealous. I’m not going to get mad.”
“I’m changing the cola to cider.”
Both of you arrived home, meeting your neighbor by the door of his home. The smiles on your tired faces was enough for him to know that your search was successful. “Thank you so much to the both of you. I’m indebted to the two of you.” He repeats as he bows repeatedly. Yunho then hands the little one to him then returns the two toys as well. 
“It’s really no problem. I hope the little guy had enough adventure for a good while.” He jokes lightly, his eyes lingering at the now sleeping furball before returning his gaze to the elderly neighbor. 
“It’s good you guys found him now, otherwise my wife would be throwing a fit now.” Your neighbor jokes. You knew how the elderly lady was when she was making you some soup, you also knew that it was just out of the goodness of her heart.
He bids both of you a good day before shuffling back inside. You could hear him nagging the cat and at the same time, coo at him. Pet owners were really something. 
Now that both you and Yunho are back in your place, he takes a shower while you order pizza for the night. He comes out of the shower just in time for the call to finish. “How long will the pizza take?” He asks, drying his hair that seems to cover his eyes. You snicker at the sight of the tall male who was well on his way to gaining more muscle look younger with his hair over his eyes. It looks a little too comical for you. “What?”
“Nothing. It’ll be here in half an hour.” You say with a teasing grin before taking over the shower. 
Once you step out of the shower, the doorbell rings and the smell of pizza has entered the room. “Yunho, can you prepare the table? I’ll deal with our food!” You call out as you grab your wallet. 
“Already ahead of you!” 
You head back into the living room, a box of pizza, fried chicken and drinks already in your hand. The plates are already ready, so was the first movie of Harry Potter. Both of you cheer in victory to the hearty meal in front of you. 
As he looked through the contents of the paper bag for his cola, he found none except for the hot sauce, other condiments and cider. “Babe, where’s the cola?” He whines, sulking as he comes up empty handed, thinking that you really did follow through with your words earlier. 
He looks at you and the cola bottle was already against your smiling lips.
“HEY!”
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hollyhomburg · 5 years
Text
Call me yours (pt. 5)
(Ot7 x Reader) (Hybrid Au!) (Blind! Reader)
Summary: You never would have imagined that more love was hidden right next door, just over your garden fence. but will you and Hoseok ever get there? will you ever have your first date? 
Pairings: (Human! Hoseok) x (Human! Reader) x (Wolf hybrid! Namjoon) x (Dog hybrid! Seokjin) x (Cat hybrid! Yoongi) x (Tiger hybrid! Taehyung) x (Bunny hybrid! Jungkook) x (Cat hybrid! Jimin)
W/c: 6.0k
Tags/Warnings: LITERALLY every bit of this is wholesome fluff, no angst at all here.
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- To say that Jimin and Yoongi have gotten close over the past few weeks would be an understatement. Jimin is the first thing on Yoongi’s mind when he wakes up and the opposite is also true. though Yoongi for whatever reason- is usually the more nocturnal one, so Jimin usually heads over in the early morning to slip into Yoongi’s bed in the upstairs, or wait in the kitchen starting the morning coffee and bringing it to all of you in bed.
- it’s not that he’s not like- comfortable slipping in between you and Yoongi on your too-small-for-4-hybrids bed, it’s just that there are some invisible lines that they’re just not comfortable breaching yet. Jimin sighs while he makes the coffee and thinks about it. Hoseok needs to ask you out already so that they can stop pretending that they’re not all building their lives into one another.  
- You’re the only one usually stirring when he heads in on those mornings.  It’s exceedingly sweet- especially the first time it happens and you pop your head up from where it was buried in Yoongi’s chest, Namjoon and Seokjin curled into their little puppy pile of cuddles to the side, your hair all ruffled making Jimin coo and smooth it down. asking softly if you’d like some coffee, kissing you on your forehead as he whispers good morning so as to not wake the others up.
- Jimin at least has no problem being affectionate with you, really Hoseok needs to take notes one of these days. though really, it’s not that hoseok has problems being affectionate just being affectionate while makeing his intent known. but then again jimin could probably give him tips on that too since he’s recently taken up the task of letting everyone know just how much he apreciates them, often vocally, with many purrs and alot of scentmarking to physically reinforce his point.  
- Yoongi grumbles and pulls you more firmly against him before he realizes Jimin is there, grumbling without opening his eyes, “5 more minutes Seokjin-Hyung, it’s my turn to snuggle her” Jimin giggles before he presses a warm cup in between your fingers. You hear him set a second one for Yoongi on the bedside table.
- You sip at it gratefully, suddenly quirking your head to the side, “what did you put in this?” Jimin shrugs, you feel the edge of the bed dip. “I couldn’t find your sugar so I used maple syrup like Hobi does,”
- “Hoseok uses maple syrup instead of sugar?” you ask, somehow way too endeared to learn this little fact about him- because of course, Hoseok (with his syrupy sweet soul) would like something like this.
- The first time Jimin surprises Yoongi with a pounce, Yoongi’s resounding yowl makes Namjoon and Jungkook almost cry laughing. Especially when they go over to the side of the house and witness Yoongi’s dazed expression as Jimin straddles him. The watering can he was using to water the catnip they’d planted on the side of the house discarded in the grass. To see him Still pinned, happily being groomed by Jimin, his purs rippling as he licked and licked and licked, and promptly erupted with laughter.
- “Someone’s got a crush,” Namjoon says when he wanders into the kitchen one afternoon in late July and runs a hand through Yoongi’s hair- all splayed and rumpled and sticking up from where Jimin had groomed him again, it’s definitely becoming a daily habit.
- Yoongi’s resulting blush makes Namjoon cackle and teases more, gripping the younger by the shoulders and giggly swaying side to side, miming a wedding march and punctuating each twirl with a whip crack. He’s a little more goofy than usual, The strange behavior might have something to do with the fact that Namjoon had just woken up from yet another sunny nap with Jungkook in the garden, he’s a little heat hazy. “You’ve been spending too much in the sun, and all that soil is gonna rot your brain.”
- “Doesn’t change that Yoongi likes Jiminie.” He says in a singsong voice his giggle deep and adorable.  
- “Oh go find somewhere dark and grow some moss you gossipy asshole.”
- Seokjin snorts from where he reads a book at the table. “Yeah Joonie, you’re one to talk with Jungkook trailing after you like that,” Namjoon freezes. “Wait-what? What do you mean?” he’s blushing from his feet to his ears. Yoongi sends Seokjin a small grin that makes his heart thrum a little harder. Seokjin reaches out absently passing a hand over Yoongi’s side. Making him shiver in the best way.
- “I don’t think he comes over here every day for the carrots Namjoon,” Seokjin comments wryly.  Namjoon looks nearly contrite until the bunny hybrid in question bounds into the kitchen almost tripping over the rug like he does nearly every time, half falling into the kitchen. Yoongi catches him with a well-placed arm.
- “Kid you gotta watch it!” Jungkook’s wide smile with his teeth gnawing at his lower lip is so cute that it just might make all of them blush, and let him get away with being barely contrite. A glance around the room solidifies that yes- they’re definitely all blushing and crushing over the sparkly, wide-eyed, floppy eared glory of Jungkook. 
- “Oh thanks Hyung! I finished twining up the honeysuckle and deadheading the lavender? Is the hydrangea next Hyung?” a faint blush colors his cheeks, barely brushing the tops of his cheekbones as he looks at Namjoon. “Yes, kooky- I’ll be out in a second.” 
- “Do you want something to drink Kookie?” Seokjin asks. because as much as he knows they love working out in the sun all day Seokjin can’t help but look after them and make sure they’re just as watered as the garden. Kooky nods happily, and asks hopefully “Do you have carrot juice?” 
- Seokjin barely contains his smile as he sets Jungkook up. Seokjin had made sure he picked some up from the store last week solely because of Jungkook. The three hybrids watch as Jungkook downs the whole thing in one big gulp, eyebrows raising. Blacktopped tail twitching from side to side and showing the white underside before he places it on the counter (remembering not to slam it- a lesson when he’d accidentally shattered one of their cups last week)
- He nuzzles into Seokjin’s shoulder as he says, “thanks Hyung!” then pulls Namjoon outside. The entire exchange of juice takes about 30 seconds. And leaves Seokjin feeling all kinds of gooey and fond affection. He has to steady himself against the counter. “Jesus” Seokjin comments to no one, holding his heart and shaking his head. Yoongi snickers. 
- “Yoon” comes a crooning voice that can only be Jimin, making Yoongi flush and crumple. “Oh my god just go” Seokjin pushes his hip, “leave all of your flirting out of my kitchen, I just want to relax- oh my god.” And Yoongi heads out of the kitchen looking like he’s about to brave a typhoon- his tail flicking back and forth alert the whole time (though he does go willingly- that fact makes Seokjin externally smile, and internally feel a little smug)
- “Jinnie?” You call from inside the house, Seokjin smiles softly, putting his book down and setting his thick-rimmed glasses to the side, “in the kitchen love.” He responds you follow the sound of his voice, finding your way to hug him from the side. 
- Settling into the comfort of his arms. His face pressed into your stomach, arms loosely wound around your side. Relaxing into The of your oldest lover, nothing feels quite so calming, or quite so comforting as Seokjin. 
- Seokjin hums against your stomach, moving his neck a little bit to scent mark you. An old habit, and a little futile because you smell like a mess of all of them now. Though with a sniff- he realizes (with no small bit of pride) you do smell like him the most.
- “What’s going on in Jinnie world?” you ask, running a hand through his hair to scratch behind his ear. It’s a little bleach fried, last month Jimin and Yoongi had ganged up on him and convinced him to dye his hair. And though you knew it was some “awesome” shade from the amount that Yoongi complimented Jin. 
- You didn’t remember exactly what color it was. After you’d felt it for the first time and whined about the new texture, Seokjin had vehemently promised to never dye it again. He loves the ear pets way too much to make them even slightly unpleasant for you. 
- “Oh you know- just the impending threat of romance from a certain bunny and kitten.” or a tiger and red-headed cutie for that matter, he adds in his head but doesn't say out loud for fear of the teasing it would incur. 
- “Mm, not a kitten.” Jimin pouts from the doorway, hair all fluffed up and curly. Jimin looks extra cute in an extra-large dark blue sweater that probably belonged to Jungkook at one point (it has orange carrots printed all over it).
- Jimin sniffs at the air huffs a glance at Jin put upon look stepping closer to the two of you to Scent mark your shoulder and neck the purr in his chest vibrating softly. Jimin doesn’t break eye contact with Jin the whole time, as if daring him to make some comment. You flinch when he gives you a small lick to the back of your neck, exposed from your hair up in a bun. 
- “Jesus Christ,” you say, pushing at his shoulder playfully the same second Seokjin clenches around your waist, crying “go scent mark Yoongi you brat! Leave my human to me!” 
- Jimin giggles and flicks a wink at Seokjin, “not for long puppy.” he passes back through the door, down the stairs and probably back to where the hammock and probably Yoongi is (not before snatching a bag of chips from the pantry). 
- Even after his heat Jimin has been… a little flirty with all of them teases Namjoon and you almost as much as Seokjin does, and Seokjin feels a little pity that Yoongi has to bear the full force of Jimin’s brattiness like that. Then again, Yoongi probably greets it with the same begrudging enjoyment that Seokjin finds himself feeling when he sees the 6 of them together all floppy and falling over each other under the terrible weight of multiple crushes. 
- At the thought of it, Seokjin whines lowly rubbing his neck along your stomach not satisfied by how much you smell like your shampoo “Feeling possessive Jinnie?”
- “Can’t help it” he mumbles, voice thick through the growl building in his throat. grabbing your hand, hesitating a second, before he places it on his head again from where it had fallen. You oblige him with consolatory ear rubs. But it’s still not enough, jin surges’ up, standing and kissing your cheek before moving to your other one and then to your lips, you smile into the kiss as happy as you’ve ever been. and Jin flops back down once you look sufficiently blushy. 
- “Uhm” Weight creeks over the door stoop and Seokjin’s ears flick in the direction of the sound. Taehyung stands in your doorway fingers tapping on the handle. Shoulders hunched, and his curved ears bright orange and pinned back against his cinnamon-colored hair. “Hey Tae,” you say, giving the hybrid a wider than usual smile. 
- Over the past few weeks, you’ve learned that Taehyung thrives off of obvious enjoyment. Telling him you’re happy he came over or complimenting him when he helps has been amazing for his self-esteem. He’s become a lot more vocal as a result, though he’s still definitely shy in situations like this when he’s not sure if he’s 100% welcome. 
- Hoseok even thanked you for it the other day; you’ve had such a positive effect on the hybrid. He doesn’t even cling to Hoseok in the mornings when he leaves for work anymore.
- Hoseok had told you that with a hand on yours over the banister, your hands lightly entwined in the haze of the evening as you waited on the back porch. After He’d come over to retrieve Jimin who had made himself very comfortable sleeping in your upstairs bedroom. 
- Jungkook had quite literally had to carry him out, appearing in the yellow kitchen light a second after that, you see it for a moment against the light- a blob of darkness that must be Jungkook that quickly shifts. Hoseok’s hand sliding out of yours regretfully. 
- The calico cat had slept on, dead to the world with his head tipped against Jungkook’s shoulder arms loosely twined around Jungkook’s neck. Jungkook’s strong arms gripping under either of his thighs, lifting Jimin like he weighed nothing. 
- “Wait” Seokjin had said, in the doorway of the kitchen, his apron wound around his waist. Jungkook had paused and let Jin press a little kiss to Jimin’s cheek. to which Jungkook had pouted and shifted from foot to foot nervously a move probably learned from Jimin. But he doesn't even have to ask just looks up at Seokjin with his wide dark eyes and he’s already kissing him on the forehead too. “Goodnight loves” Seokjin had said, low and hushed. 
- Jungkook looked equally as reverent and put upon with affection his little cottontail twitching happily as Hoseok had chirped. “Sorry about that! He’s such a goof falling asleep everywhere.” His hand hovering a second next to yours as he said, “see you tomorrow I guess” you’d smiled, a little too happy at the thought of seeing him again. “Yeah! See you tomorrow” 
- Yoongi had stumbled down the stairs soon after. Seeking out your lap for comfort. His words slurring, “where did Minnie go?” Namjoon had tugged on his tail playfully, “he had to go home- you know to his actual bed where he actually sleeps- I swear when I read that cats sleep 18 hours a day I didn’t actually think that was true for hybrids.” 
- “Hoseok says tiger hybrids don’t sleep that long.” You had commented. All their ears perk up at that- it’s no secret you have a soft spot for the shyest hybrid next door. 
- The hybrid who is now at your door, looking down like he doesn’t know if he’s allowed in. Tae shifts from foot to foot, “I was wondering if-” his voice is small, strangled by the anxiety in his throat. “Could I help you cook today Hyung? Minnie and kooky are both hanging out with Yoongi-Hyung and Namjoon-Hyung and Hobi-Hyung won’t be back from work till 6.” 
- One thing that Hoseok had imparted to you was how unused Taehyung was to being alone and how anxious it made him. A few weeks ago, Hoseok had to call over and apologized, saying that they wouldn’t be able to make it over for dinner like usual because of Taehyung. 
- Jungkook had told you later what had happened. How Taehyung had become so touch starved and shivery and anxious that they’d all piled on top of him the whole night. He’d whined and almost burst into tears each time any of them had gotten up from the cuddle puddle.
- It’s that neediness that makes you part your arms and let Taehyung fold his large body into yours, determined to make himself as small as possible no matter that you’re still in-between Seokjin’s legs, he has to part them more to let Taehyung in. 
- Seokjin casts a glance at the clock, letting his hand trace over Taehyung’s arms where they’re wrapped around your back, he’s putting his full weight on your shoulders and all- but you don’t mind. Seokjin feels the Fondness creep up in him, he wants to coo at the way Taehyung’s ears always shake back and forth when he gets happy.
- “It’s a little early to start Taehyung if I started dinner now it would be a little cold by the time Hobi gets home.” Seokjin doesn’t let the significance of home linger but catches the way you bite your lower lip. Because the only ones who haven’t accepted that they’re all basically headed that way are you and Hoseok. 
- Taehyung looks crestfallen for a moment, “But I think we do need to go to the store to get some stuff if you’d like to accompany us- if you’re feeling up to it.” Taehyung perks up instantly and nods happily “Definitely! I can help you carry the groceries!” Seokjin definitely does not mention the fact that they don’t need enough stuff to require both Tae and Seokjin to go- but maybe Seokjin should utilize the extra help when he can get it. And he won’t burst the adorable bubble that is Kim Taehyung. 
- “We should probably leave Hobi a note,” you say, “and tell the others!” Taehyung walks to the edge of your deck and shouts- surprisingly loud after his quietness to the others. Yoongi and Jimin may not hear him- but if they wake up and head over to the garden to ask Namjoon and Kooky they’ll find out where you went.
- “A heart? Really? You want me to add a heart to the note? You know you two could just text,” Seokjin teases; when you dictate him a note to Hobi- you’ll put it on his front door. There is a little collection of likewise notes that Hobi has left on your door on sitting on the window sill, occasionally you’ll bring the small pile over to Seokjin and ask him to read them to you. As it goes- most of them are actually for Seokjin- since Hobi knows you can’t read them without the help of the others.
- Though that might change soon. The other day Jimin came over for Yoongi, Seokjin had answered the door. Jimin had barely even stopped to press a sticky note to Seokjin’s forehead, stood on his tippy toes to kiss him fully on the lips with a loud (and wet) smack.  Before he stomped up the stairs to what Jimin has started to call “the cuddle room” ie Namjoon’s/Seokjin’s old room, and where Yoongi slept whenever he wanted to stretch out like a starfish. (Taehyung shows up soon after, and also piles into the cuddle room after sleepily bumping into both the wall and Namjoon on his way up the stairs.)
- Namjoon roared with laughter until he can get enough breath to tell you what happened and then the laughter doubles. Seokjin still standing in the doorway.  Absolutely astounded at Jimin’s unending battiness, but blushing so hard that he almost wants to melt into the floor.
- Hoseok always leaves little footnotes for Seokjin too- always little tidbits or jokes, like hope you have an eggcellent day Jin-Hyung! or I’m gonna try and find some of your youtube videos on my break today, or why can’t towels tell jokes? because they have a dry sense of humor! that leave Jin grinning and laughing after he reads them.
- Even though Seokjin is often the one to receive the notes, Jimin had informed you that Hobi got a book on braille so that he can start giving you ones that you’ll actually be able to read. The little sneak- Hobi had probably meant it to be a surprise. 
- He’d picked it up from the local library on an outing with Jimin and Namjoon. And Hobi had sent you what Seokjin described as an adorable picture of Jimin and Namjoon snuggled in one of the reading nooks together. Seokjin ends up printing out that picture and adding it to the growing collection of them on the wall in the living room.  
- There are more than a few hearts on those notes; sometime Hobi will sign them with a heart instead of his name. If Seokjin could roll his eyes anymore they’d fall out of the back of his head, he doesn’t know why Hoseok doesn’t just ask you out already- they all know it’s coming. But still, you insist on tiptoeing around each other. 
- Taehyung happily takes your arm while you walk to the store, chirping and pointing out the strangest things. “I like this street because all of the doors on the houses are different colors,” and “that car has like- a billion stickers on it- and half of them are for the same sports team” Seokjin chimes in whenever possible. But sequitously drops back and takes a photo of you two, adding it to his Instagram...which is greeted by immediate fanfare. 
- It’s not like Seokjin has been really secretive about the growing change in his life or hid it from his fans, but his youtube channel has taken somewhat of a backseat recently with all of the excitement in his personal life- he’s only been making cooking videos like once or twice a week instead of nearly every day like he used to.
- He hasn’t come out and said it or alluded to why Hoseok's hybrids have started popping up here and there in his social media, or even the human himself who helped Jin try to kook blindfolded the other day. He asked you first of course, and you made a mini-competition out of it with you, Seokjin, and Hoseok cooking together and the others testing it- none too surprisingly, Seokjin still wins because you and Hoseok spend most of the time giggling and falling into each other and burn both of your pans.
- The episode finishes with you talking about your blindness, both of them leaning in and admitting how hard it must be for you. though it’s never really your intention to feel indulgent, you admit it was kind of cathartic. Seokjin and Hoseok come out of it with new a new perspective. A the moment, when you sit in between both of them and they admit how strong they think you are. 
- At the store, Taehyung sets about retrieving things for Seokjin, who barks off a list from his phone. All in all its uneventful though Seokjin does add a carton of Minnie ice-cream cones to the cart after Taehyung glances at them a few times, his ears pinned to his hair, unsure how to ask for them. He blushes and Seokjin sends him a knowing glance. later outside, Taehyung gives Seokjin a small smile that's worth everything and says, “you take care of us so well Hyung,” his smile boxy and easy, leaning into Jin so sweetly. 
- When you get home, you’re not surprised to find Hobi sitting on your back porch watching Namjoon and Jungkook throw a frisbee back and forth, occasionally sending it Hoseok's way. The gate between both of your yards is open (it’s rarely closed anymore).
- Seokjin drags you close and whispers when he spots the redheads work tangled mop sitting on your steps.  “He’s wearing his suit- I’ll have you know it looks all rumpled and cute. Ask him out before I do I swear” before he nudges you in the direction of the stairs. 
- Hobi straightens at your presence, standing in a rush; Seokjin sees that he’s holding your note. Taehyung makes to say hello to his owner but before he can Seokjin drags him back by the hood of his sweatshirt. Pressing a kiss to his cheek in response to Taehyung whines. “Why don’t you help me chop up some of the carrots for bibimbap Tae,” 
- “Thanks for taking them today,” Hobi says, taking your hand and helping you sit down against the steps next to him.   
- “It’s no trouble- I think Namjoon’s glad for the company, and Yoongi as well, I think anyway. None of us mind it at all.” And it’s true, you love the way that your house has become a meeting place for all of them, even though it does get twice as loud as usual, and sometimes it’s more difficult than usual to distance yourself and concentrate on work. 
- “How was your day?” you ask, Hobi sighs his hands through his hair, making it look even more tousled, curling against the nape of his neck in the humidity “Long, I’m just happy it’s Friday!” 
- “Oh yeah forgot it was,” 
- Hoseok pouts, pushing against your shoulder amicably “I’m still so jealous you get to work from home and make your own hours- that’s so convenient and I’m stuck going all the way into the city every single day,” 
- “Yeah it has it’s perks, I get cuddle while I work more often than not. Did you know Tae cuddled me all day yesterday? Kookie too because Namjoon had another day at the community center.” 
- “Yeah, he gushed to me about it for about an hour last night while he took a bath. speaking of cuddles”  Yoongi and Jimin walk past the two of you- probably on the way to the cuddle room now that the hammock is a little too cold, but Hoseok doesn’t let Jimin past, yowling for a moment when he pulls the cat into his lap. 
- On the other side of you, Yoongi cuddles up to your side, kissing your cheek. the sound of loud purring pervading the back steps. Eventually, the two cats detangle themselves and head upstairs. Someone (probably Tae) starts up the speaker in the kitchen to play some new kitschy pop music that spills through the open door.  
- Hoseok lets out a happy sigh and taps his foot to the beat subconsciously. Jungkook crows in delight as he makes a particularly large hop, catching the Frisbee out of the air making Namjoon jump up in down happily- a habit that he’d begun to pick up from Jungkook. 
- “You seem a little quiet today,” you comment, your hand hovering just an inch away from Hobi’s on the wooden step, you dont know that hoseok has his eyes closed and is listening to all of it. 
- The clangs from the kitchen, Jungkook’s and Namjoon’s happy yells, the music, the everything that Hoseok appreciates so much. both of you would be lying if you said that your hybrids had nothing to do with how reluctant you are to push forward with your own relationship. Thought it’s nothing that either of you would ever admit to- not even to Seokjin or Jungkook.  In the worst case scenario- if you date and then break up- it would probably break all of their hearts not only yours. 
- but hypotheicals only do so much for so long, hoseok stretches his hand out a little, his fingertips pressing against yours. For a moment he resists the urge, he’s loathed to damage the peace here, but then you give his had a reassuring squeeze. 
- From inside the kitchen, Yoongi and jimin have decided to stay and help chop things, but the cutting boards lay untended on the counter. Taehyung too has piled to the side of the bay doors to secretly watch the two of you. “Jin get over here” Yoongi hisses as Taehyung jostles him by leaning his elbows on Yoongi’s shoulders. “I think it’s finally about to happen” jimin whispers hiss as they watch, all piled to peer around the door. 
- Both of you are oblivious to the audience you have, even as Namjoon and Jungkook start sending you two furtive glances. “Do you want to maybe-” Hoseok pauses, a little unsure, “go out for ice-cream tomorrow? Have you been to the cute place in myeongdong yet? They mix shaved ice and vanilla and it’s so good.” 
- “Yeah but we probably would have to get like 5 for all of them Seokjin loves shaved ice so much-” Hoseok’s hope falls incrementally.  he scratches at the back of his head with his other hand. 
- “Uhm I meant- I meant just the two of us? But you can totally bring Jin if you want to I know he’s like- I know I’m not great at like making sure you don’t crash into things” he thinks about an unfortunate incident that occurred last week when you came over to his house and almost fell horribly into a glass side table. internally wincing. 
- “But I thought it would be nice to kind spend some time one on one… if you- if you want to” he trails off, glad you can't see how bright red he is- god it’s been so so long since he asked anyone out on a date he can’t believe how badly he just fucked that up. 
- But you won’t let him get away with anything. “Do you mean like a date?” Hoseok’s ears burn, he replies even quieter and even more unsure, “only if you want it to be- we can, we can just go as friends too, if you- if you want?” you grip his hand tight, glad that the light spilling from the kitchen allows you to properly judge where Hoseok’s face is, reach out to press your hand to his cheek. 
- Inside, Seokjin slaps a hand over Jimin's mouth the second he’s about to shout in joy, while Yoongi pumps his arm and swallows his excitement as Taehyung bounces on the balls of his feet, biting on his knuckles to keep from exclaiming, boxy grin impossibly wide. 
- “Shaved ice sounds lovely, we can go just us two- I’m sure the boys will be glad to have some time to goof off.” 
- “Okay” he says, the words quiet and hopeful, He leans his hand into your cheek, you can feel how warm it is, and the flutter of his eyelashes, the streach of his mouth into a wide smile, softer than the rest. All of it- you are keenly aware of every little movement he makes to lean in closer to you. and feel even more keenly when he stops, heating up a little as he turns his head and sees whatever's in the kitchen. 
- He stays for dinner, all of them do. they move the kitchen table out onto the deck and pile in, though Yoongi does have to sit on the ottoman that was in the living room. (Though Jimin is practically sitting in his lap the whole night- really why did you even bother grabbing 2 chairs for them?).
- None of them mention or tease when you both inform them that tomorrow night you’re going to go out, though the eye wiggling wink jimin gives Hoseok makes him flush and sink into his seat. 
- You compliment Taehyung on the braised acorn squash he tells you proudly that he made all on his own with barely any help from Seokjin. He feeds you the best piece with his own chopsticks, and he blushes and flicks his tail against Seokjin’s face, squeaking when he grabs it and pulls lovingly. 
- The next day before your date with Hobi, Taehyung, and Jimin and Jungkook walk over to your house toting their X-box, it’s many cords and more than a few bags of snacks. 
- Seokjin answers the door and lets them in.  Jimin snickers standing on his tippy toes to press a kiss to the underside of Seokjin’s jaw and says, “he changed 5 times for this” within earshot of you, Namjoon snags his hip and scents along the Coolum of Jimin’s throat in hello after doing the same to Jungkook and Tae. “she changed 3 and had us weigh in on each outfit” Namjoon adds. 
- Seokjin stoops to kiss both of their cheeks, “I spent a full hour on her makeup too!” then he returns to your side to help you put on your jean jacket, before you dart back into your room at the sound of the doorbell “just tell him I’ll be ready in a second! i forgot about my perfume” 
- The doorbell rings again, and Seokjin lets Hoseok in. His leg is twitching and he tosses a little nervous hello at Seokjin before his hands reach up as if to run through his hair- carefully a little windswept before he stops- like he’s worried about messing it up. 
- Seokjin takes one good look at Hoseok’s rumpled white button-down and shakes his head. “That won’t do” tugging on the corner of his shirt half-tucked into his tight dark skinny jeans, tugging it up further so that it comes loose “off- there's iron in the laundry room.” 
- Hoseok eyes Seokjin for a moment, when the elder raises an eye expectantly Hoseok finally starts unbuttoning it. “No undershirt- really?” Hoseok blushes at that and throws him the shirt. Jimin wolf whistles, which Namjoon answers with an honest to god whistle. Both of them leaning over the back of the couch to watch Hoseok, drinking in the low rise pants and happy trail combo (along with the abs? how the hell does Hoseok manage to have abs when he has full-time job?) 
- Jimin’s green cat eyes are sharp and teasing “Hey hubby” he greets with a flutter of his eyelashes, his patchy tail swishing. “hey menace” Hoseok teases lovingly, as he trails away after Jin.
-  Just under the stairs and it’s cealing  slanted on one side, Seokjin leaves the laundry room door open. a shelf of cubbies consumes the nonslanted wall some of them empty and others full of towels and bins of winter jackets or baskets full of snow boots. There is a basket of laundry on top of the drier and Hoseok definitely doesn’t let his eyes linger on whatever lacy and translucent thing is kind of falling out and over the top. 
- Seokjin pops an iron board from where it’s folded against the wall, clicking on the iron (which was many more settings and looks a lot more heavy duty than a regular one) and makes sure it’s filled with steam. Hoseok briefly recalls one of your late-night conversations about Seokjin- about what he’d done before you’d adopted him and his time as a show hybrid, and Hoseok briefly wonders if he’d learned how to do this from that. 
- While they wait a minute for the iron to heat up Seokjin holds out his hand. “give me your phone” Hoseok hands it over with a raised eyebrow, Seokjin clicks around on it for a moment. 
- “I think it’s good that you both are getting some alone time but incase anything happens I want you to have my number.” Jin says. “I don’t want to smother you both but-” 
- “Jin you’re not some overprotective parent. I totally understand why you would be- hell- I’m worried every time she takes Taehyung, Jimin, and Jungkook to the park.” 
- “It’s not that I don’t trust them it’s just that…“ where Seokjin trails off Hoseok finishes. 
- “They’re not the most aware bunch.” Seokjin smiles at Hoseok finishing his sentence, looking up at Hoseok with only the thin ironing board between the two of them. And Hoseok finds himself suddenly aware of the fact that he’s shirtless-In what is basically a closet with all 6-foot glory of Kim Seokjin and his delicate countenance that disarms Hoseok in dangerous ways. 
- Even with you waiting for him out in the living room, Seokjin makes his heart stutter and it’s not like you wouldn’t understand if he explained to you. More often than not Hoseok has come in to find you snuggled into Seokjin or kissing him or cuddling him or Namjoon or all three of your hybrids. And newer- all three of his. And Hoseok doesn’t mind one bit. 
- Seokjin checks the iron, holding his hand a safe inch away from it to feel its heat and then turn it up all the way, before he starts and carefully smoothing out Hoseok’s shirt, pressing around the edges with a practiced air.  “is it bad that I’m nervous?” 
- “It would be worse if you weren’t.” Seokjin finishes quickly, setting the iron back into a standing  position and Hoseok is sure he has one of those back in his house but he’s not sure he’s ever used it- some move in present from his mother. Seokjin holds shirt out for Hoseok to step into. 
-  Is it just Hoseok’s imagination? Or his Seokjin letting his fingers brush a little more over the planes of his chest as he button’s up Hoseok’s shirt. He’s blushing by the end of it. 
- When Seokjin makes a ticking noise at his hair and runs his hand through Hoseok’s hair to make it more tousled. he bemoans the loss of effort, he’d spent thirty minutes makeing it perfect, but the intent expression on seokjin’s face, suddenly closer, makes the complaint die in his throat.  “She’ll be able to tell,” Seokjin says. “What?” 
- “if she touches your arm or your shoulder she’ll be able to tell if it’s smooth or not- and she likes it a lot when it’s smooth and soft.” He says as he runs his fingers down Hoseok's arms and to the cuffs rolling them up once then twice, and checking intermittently to make sure they’re even. 
- Seokjin looks down smiling at his memories. “do you know that when we first got here both Namjoon and I individually and independently decided that we both didn’t want to wear any fabrics that she didn’t like? Because we cuddle so much and neither of us wanted to put her off?” 
- Hoseok laughs, because what Seokjin’s describing- that’s cute. “What ones should I be worried of? Not that we’re going to be cuddling tonight or anything really” thought Hoseok does have hopes. Seokjin grins- like he knows Hoseok is imagining it. “Say away from chiffons and wool blends, cotton is usually a safe bet- just god no microfiber” 
- Seokjin continues combing through Hoseok's locks. Hoseok gets why the hybrids love head rubs so much- it feels unreasonably good and Hoseok doesn’t even have a pair of ultra-sensitive nerve ending dense ears on top of his head. Seokjin fusses with Hoseok’s hair, turning the curls this way and that to get them to a cute placement.  “Will she be able to tell my hair is messed up too?” 
- Seokjin takes a step towards Hoseok. Close but not pinning him against the ironing board quite yet. Hoseok realizes how tall Seokjin is, the few inches between the two of them feel greater now. Hoseok rarely feels so pinned in and small like this doesn’t even really like feeling that way at least not the same way that Jungkook and Taehyung like. 
- But it does calm the nervous bits of him to have Seokjin so close, the tender affection exactly what Hoseok needs as his hand squeezes the back of Hoseok’s neck. “No” Seokjin says, his mouth a perilous few inches from Hoseok’s, the room suddenly too hot and small to contain all of this. “that’s for me.”  
- Seokjin doesn’t kiss Hoseok like Hoseok thinks he will. Instead tipping their foreheads together and letting hoseok feel every brush of closeness until their lips truely meet. The moment is quiet and tender, almost stolen. Hoseok’s hands fist in the back of Seokjin’s shirt and the elder's hands are still nested in Hoseok’s hair. Just for a moment really, but it somehow makes Hoseok feel like a live wire sparking with it all, and suddenly he’s not anxious about your date at all as he breaks apart. 
- “I trust you with her Hobi.” Jin says after a moment, letting their noses brush before Hoseok pulls back, steadying his hand against the ironing board without thinking about the hot iron. 
- This is how your date would have gone: 
- Hoseok’s heart would have beaten quick when he saw you in your baby blue dress in your living room, the hybrids would have teased both of you for your blush and Seokjin would have quite literally pushed both of you out the door. Shaved ice would have been a lovely affair in which Hoseok cutely fed you spoonfuls while you let him have sips of your hot chocolate which you got even though it’s the middle of summer. 
- Then after, the two of you would linger and walk by the river and Hoseok would have explained to you how all of the lights look and all the neon shrouded night and how hot humidity of summer made the light look diffrent. 
- On the way home, the two of you would have cuddled up on the train close and Hoseok would have frozen and gone still when you laid your head on his shoulder and intertwined your hands your ankle brushing his. Scared that the jostling of the moving train would make you vacate his shoulder, a spot that your cheek had always been meant to rest on. 
- And then when you got to your front door the following conversation would have taken place:
- “I just realized- we don’t really get to say goodbye- I’ll just go in and get them and then we’ll go over to my house and ugh- I was hoping this would be like the movies- you know when the guy walks the girl home and then they-“ Hoseok would have choked off, stopping his rambling, realizing what he was just about to say. 
- Kiss, he would want to kiss you goodnight, a small nervous smile plays on your lips, and Hoseok would have thought wow good job Hoseok now she totally thinks you’re a creep- though it’s not exactly wrong to want to kiss after the first date? He had been clear that this was a date right and you’d agreed so-
- “I’ll pretend it’s a movie if you will.” 
- “Oh” he would have said, would have shifted closer his hand coming up to your cheek, “okay,” his lips would be soft and tentative despite the fact that hoseok gives and gets kisses more than the average human. his hair brushing at your forehead, nose a little off, it would be shorter but he’d catch you with your lips parted and now can’t resist opening his mouth a little too. He would have sucked your bottom lip between one of his, not biting on it but pressing it. 
- Your hands would have come to rest on his shoulders and coincidentally- his nicely pressed smooth silk shirt, smoothing over it, and retaliated by pressing in close makeing hoseok’s head go the best kind of hazy. nose filled with the prick of your sweet perfume, hands full of the softness of you- and everything from your little ghap when you part every kind of right. 
- Neither of you would have cared that you where in the middle of the street, especially when Hoseok’s hand would have gone up to cradle the back of your head and run through your silky hair, he would have tilt your head to just the right angle so that you would melt into the kiss like chocolate on a hot summer day. 
- You two would be so caught up In what is basically making out that you wouldn’t notice your front door opening, the 2 hybrids that can't fit into the doorway looking on from the window as Seokjin snorts, “Finally!”  
- But instead, what happens is this: 
- “Mother fucker!” Hoseok yells flinching back when his hand touches the still burning hot iron, doubling over as hot and consuming pain laces up his arm from his sensitive palm.
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nellie-elizabeth · 3 years
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Supernatural: Carry On (15x20)
Oh my god. Lol. So... did Andrew Dabb forget to read back through his finale script one final time before deciding it was finished? Because like... Dean says "if we don't keep living, all that sacrifice (Cas and Jack) will be for nothing." Cut to a comically short time later, where Dean dies and is just like "time to go, let's not keep fighting, I'm tired lol."
Like WHAT did I just witness. I'm so grateful, in this moment, to a little show called The Magicians, because in April of 2019 they ended their fourth season with such an egregiously terrible decision that I literally couldn't sleep for a week, I was shaking and intermittently sobbing, I had never felt so betrayed and devastated over any piece of media before. After that, I've sort of become numb to bad endings, and this is no exception. This episode was absolutely terrible and I'm just sort of like... meh. I'll ignore it. Whatever.
I do want to forego the usual "pro" and "con" sections in this review, and do a more traditional full-on ramble about my thoughts, because they're kind of convoluted, if I'm gonna be honest.
The first thing I want to say, is that this wasn't the worst finale I've ever seen. Objectively, it was a terrible episode of TV and an insulting wrap-up to a fifteen-year-show. But I have a very specific category for the worst finales ever, and those are the ones that provide endgame states for the characters that are... unfixable in a post-canon but still-canon-compliant world. So, for example, the How I Met Your Mother finale killed off the titular mother and betrayed years of buildup, and that's a real-world sitcom. There's no resurrecting people from that shit. Or like. Game of Thrones being an obvious recent example. The Rise of Skywalker is a good movie example.
This? It's a little different. The endgame state of Sam and Dean and Cas is that they all die and spend eternity in Heaven, where they get to be with all their loved ones. I mean, sure, we don't get to see that, we only get a throwaway line to imply that Cas made it out of Super Turbo Hell The Empty, but that's the endgame state of the characters. And that's more or less what I would have wanted, as like a... years after canon situation. Right? So yeah, this was a bad episode, but if I edit in the shit I wanted to see, none of it contradicts the canon in a way that's not workable. It's a sad world we've come to where this is all I can really grasp at, but there is a perverse sort of comfort in that.
So, should we talk now about how Dean dying is a betrayal of what they said this whole season, and maybe whole show was about? Ha. It's so ridiculous. It's embarrassing. I watched Dean's final moments and I was embarrassed for Jensen. For Dean. For all of us watching.
Just. Watch the end of 15x19 again, okay? Watch it, and hear what they're saying. Yay, we killed God, we killed the author of the story, which means we get to write our own stories, finally. We get to do that. After all this time, we're finally free. And what does freedom look like? It looks like Dean dying on a run of the mill hunt.
We get this little montage of Sam and Dean at the Bunker, you know? They're doing laundry and going on jogs and cuddling with Miracle the dog, and they're brushing their teeth and going on hunts, I guess. And the emotional resonance from that scene was just kind of... ennui? And boredom? And that's what's so terrible and depressing about this ending. It's so empty, because Dean didn't get to do the thing he said he was fighting for. Sure, he was always fighting for Sam, but he should have been able to fight for himself, too, right? He should have been able to fight for a life after the years of programming. He should have gotten to be a rock star or a chef or worked at an animal shelter or become a foster parent or grown old as Sam's brother, as an uncle to his kid. He should have been able to find love, if he wanted that.
Look, I'm not even mad that Dean died in a "mundane" way. It's not like "nooo Dean is too coooool to die in such a laaaame way, he's a bad-ass and he should have gone out in a blaze of glory!" That's actually not what I'm mad about at all. Sam died old in his bed, and Dean should have been able to do that too. This whole season, since finding out that Chuck was the ultimate big bad, was supposed to be about free will, and Dean never got to figure out a way to be happy and find peace. That's fucking dour and stupid.
I kept saying, in the buildup to this finale, that a depressing, grim-dark ending to this show would be a failing of the themes they set up, and, hey, they didn't go grim-dark, because the writers did not think this was grim-dark. They thought it was powerful and emotional and resonant. You can tell they thought that, even though they're... uh... what's the word. Wrong? Yeah. Wrong. You know what I realized while watching this? It was just a lamer, less resonant and appropriate version of Sam's sacrifice at the end of season five.
Right? Because after Sam yeets himself into hell to save the world, Dean just has to keep going, and as Cas says, "you got what you wanted, more of the same." Just... more of the same. And Dean couldn't hack it, he was miserable without Sam, and Sam came back and we got ten more years of the fucking show. And now... what, we just get that in the other direction? Because Sam is the strong one and can soldier on without Dean because his codependency was a little less crippling? Wow, what a great ending for him, I guess. It doesn't work because we've seen Sam without Dean, and he falls apart too.
And now the show ends with Sam alone. Sure, he gets married to a blur in the background and has a kid, but let me ask you a question, here. Did Sam... want to be a father? I didn't know that was a thing he wanted, that would make him happy, honestly. I had no idea. So this doesn't seem like it works as something even remotely satisfying as an endgame state for him either. It's bleak.
And it's bleaker because there's nobody else in this fucking episode, y'all. The other big theme in all of Supernatural, after "free will" would be "family don't end in blood." And guess what? Apparently it does? Apparently Sam and Dean are each other's whole worlds and nothing else matters? We get... an implied wider world but we don't get to see it. We don't get to see Eileen, Jody, Donna, anybody left alive for Sam. So from the standpoint of characters that we know and give a shit about, Sam loses Cas, Jack, and Dean and lives the rest of his life lonely and sad. Nobody else even comes to Dean's funeral. It's just Sam alone with the dog. Like... that's bleak.
This ending gave the fucking Wincest shippers everything their hearts could desire, for fuck's sake. Like. Why did they cater to that and not follow through on the idea that they had created a family and community beyond each other? You know, this thing called character growth?
To take a brief break from the negativity, I will say something here about Sam and Dean. In the weird hysterical euphoria of the whole Destiel thing a couple weeks ago, I lost sight of something, which is that for me, the draw of this show has always been the relationship between Sam and Dean. I was never a brothers-only person, but it was their fucked up codependent bond that drew me to the show over the years. I loved the idea of Destiel, but I never thought it was going anywhere, so really I loved Castiel, the character, separate from the context of his relationships. Having a big dramatic death scene where Dean says "I love you so much" and there's a forehead touch and Dean saying "it's always been you and me" and confesses that he was scared to get Sam at Stanford because he didn't know how to survive if he didn't have him, and to have Sam say "don't leave me" and then give Dean permission to go... I mean, all of this is catnip, right? All of this is great, like, in isolation, it was such an amazing "broment," as the fandom says. I mean, it made no sense with context, it was utterly insulting in every way, but Jensen and Jared acted their lil' hearts out and I could tell they were really in the moment.
So let's talk about Cas for a second, while I have you here... they never should have done the big gay confession. They just shouldn't have even fucking bothered. I'm telling you, that makes this whole thing worse. It felt completely intentional and weird that Dean never acknowledged the confession, never told Sam, never had a moment where he specifically reckoned with Cas' loss. But that's what I knew would happen. I knew it in my blood and bones, and as the meta started pouring in, I knew people were getting their hopes up for nothing. See, Cas saying "goodbye Dean" and the handprint on the arm... I knew that was their catharsis, that was the writers' and Misha's big goodbye to the character of Castiel. They thought they fucking nailed it. I knew we wouldn't see him again.
Like I said before, I have to be satisfied with an endgame state that doesn't totally suck, right? So, we get this throwaway line from Bobby that Jack fixed Heaven and made it not suck, and that Cas helped. This implies a multitude of things that are... comforting. At least Cas doesn't get that dour, dark, helpless oblivion that I worried he'd get. We can assume Jack plucked him out of the Empty, that he gets to be with his son, and that, if the fic writers so choose, Dean and Cas can have lots of gay sex up in Heaven. I think Misha not being in this finale was frankly a slap in the face to one of the biggest and most important characters the show has ever seen, you know? And I think that they kept him out of it so we could have Schrodinger's Destiel. Because if we'd seen Cas in heaven, and he hadn't confessed his big gay love, Dean could have been like: "hey Cas! Buddy! Good to see you, my friend." But since we did have the love confession, whatever Dean did upon seeing Cas would have to mean something in that context. So instead we didn't get to see him at all.
Which is stupid.
Also stupid is that the big sacrifice was to save Dean's life and then a couple weeks later he gets impaled on a rusty nail and dies anyway. Thanks for making the whole thing feel so utterly pointless and empty. No pun intended. Wow, they did Misha dirty, here, didn't they.
Turning back to Sam's ending, let's just talk about that for a minute. Like I said, I'm happy he got to live a long life and die an old man, what Dean always wanted for him. But nothing about that ending was more poignant because Dean was gone. In fact, it just made it super duper depressing and lame. There was no reason Dean couldn't have gotten a happy life, too. It adds nothing that he died young and unfulfilled. Like, you know how people joke about the end of the Titanic, where you see that Rose's Heaven is reuniting with Jack and everyone else on the ship, and people will say "well, gosh, that's kind of a slap in the face to Rose's family" since she clearly got married and had kids and grandkids? This is literally that! Like, having an ending where a young-again Sam Winchester gets to Heaven, and his whole Heaven, the thing that he needed to find peace after death, was a return to his brother... look, I'm not mad about that, but what the fuck about nameless blurry wife that we couldn't even confirm to be Eileen for some reason? What about everyone else?
And did Sam... keep hunting? Did he go to law school? Maybe there were background details that confirmed what he ended up doing with the rest of his life besides becoming a husband and father, but I didn't see evidence of it because I was too busy rolling my eyes out of my skull at how dumb this all was. So Sam just gets a generic "raking leaves in the yard" ending, like we saw for Dean at the end of season five, with nothing to challenge that. Even though we've seen why life outside of hunting, life without Dean, isn't satisfying for Sam, we're now supposed to accept it as how he spends the rest of his life, without seeing him put the work in to get there?
One thing I realized watching this episode is that it tries to play the middle. Like, with the Cas thing, they didn't want to make his noble gay sacrifice totally meaningless, so they couldn't just pop him back into the story, but they did give us one single throwaway line to reassure fans that he's not still in The Empty. So, people who don't give a shit about Cas can assume he's off being Jack's assistant and doesn't really interact with humans in Heaven. People who do give a shit about one of the show's main characters can assume that he has a home in Dean's little Heaven neighborhood too, and they all get to buddy around for eternity. People who don't like Eileen? Well, Sam married some nobody who we never got to meet. People who liked her? Well, you can't prove that wasn't Eileen, can you? Even Dean driving around in the impala waiting for Sam to die so he could finally be happy with his fucking soulmate or whatever. Time in Heaven is weird, Bobby says. It's metaphorical. You could assume that the driving montage was actually intercut with other moments, with Dean getting to see dear old mom (and dad, I guess, but ugh), and spending time with Bobby, with OG Charlie, with other familiar faces, and new ones as they finally reach their own deaths on Earth and come up to party with the rest of the gang.
Like, in a better show, in a world without Covid, maybe they had plans along these lines, to get more guest characters back and show Dean getting sappy hellos to a bunch of side characters in Heaven. To be quite honest, I would not have been mad about that. If you're going to make Dean die young and never give him the chance to find out who he could have been when the choices were all his own, which is, in case I haven't made that clear, a horrendous and insulting ending for his character... at the very least you could have given us the cheesiness of seeing him hug his friends in Heaven. Jeezus.
I want to hammer in this point one more time before I wrap up: they ended the show by saying that character development didn't matter. They had Dean's dying speech be a meta reference to the pilot episode of the show, they had him saying "it's always been you and me" and then they confirmed that with everything they had. Sam became a father, but did he have a happy life? Seems like he pined away for his dead brother for decades and then died. If the pilot had never happened, if Sam had stayed at Stanford and Dean had gone on hunting by himself, you know what would have happened? Sam would have had a "normal" life and married a woman and had a kid, I guess, and grown old, and Dean would have died fighting some vampires in a barn. This show has been on for fifteen years, and the ending did not honor anything about the journey the characters had been on.
A particularly egregious example is the early scene with the pie festival, where Sam is like "I'm sad about Cas and Jack" and Dean is like "if we don't go on living it won't honor their sacrifice" like... yeah, I get it, bringing people back from the dead time and time again is supposed to be a bad thing that Sam and Dean did for each other because they were selfish. So Sam giving Dean permission to go was supposed to be a growth moment. Sam and Dean accepting that Cas was gone and not even asking Jack to make sure he got sent to a happy eternity instead of oblivion, that's supposed to mean they've learned their lesson. And what a fucking lesson to leave things off on. Jesus, this is grim.
So like. As I try to figure out what to say at the end of this review, I will point out one glimmer of light in the darkness, which is that this finale isn't going to ruin the rewatchability of the show for me. I can still come back and re-watch without feeling like the whole thing is ruined by the ending. It's more than I can say for some other shows.
But honestly, if this was the ending we were going to get? Why the fuck not leave it open-ended? I did not enjoy 15x19 particularly well, but at least that episode left them on the open road, with a wide future ahead of them. Anything might have happened. It's their turn to write the story, right? Chuck is dead, the writer is "dead", the show is over, and now the possibilities are endless. That would have been an anticlimactic ending, for sure. But this ending just turns around and slaps the whole point of that first ending in the face and says "haha bitch you thought". They don't get to write their own stories. We see exactly how those stories end, and it's lame. Leave something to the imagination, yo. Leave it vague how and when they died, what their lives turned into. Show them in Heaven, getting to their peace at last, reuniting with their friends, including Cas. Put in a significant glance between Dean and Cas, and leave it to the internet to go wild about what it could mean. And never answer when fans ask "so what happened, when did they die? Did they keep hunting?" Just leave it vague. If this was the only ending they could come up with, I'd rather be left with questions.
This finale gets a low score from me, because they couldn't even pull on the right heartstrings to make me sentimental...
4/10
But the show as a whole? Well, it was a mess, and it had some seriously high highs and some devastatingly low lows. It's a bummer that the lowest low came in how they tried to wrap up the whole shebang, but like I said, this ending isn't going to ruin the whole fifteen-year run for me. We get to make up what happens next, and we can make Jack's new and improved Heaven our post-canon fix-it haven. I don't think there's ever been a show in my life quite like Supernatural. The fandom is so bonkers. The meta narrative of the show is so convoluted and twisty and goes in so many unexpected directions. I liked watching this show for its own sake, and also as like... an anthropologist trying to discover something about humanity and American values specifically. It wasn't always a pleasant experience, but it was one I know I'll never forget. My heart tells me to give the show as a whole a high score, representing the many, many hours of joy and dread and delight and horror I got over the near decade I've personally been watching. How do you wrap up fifteen years in a score out of ten?
9/10
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narcis-the-monk · 4 years
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FC5 GFH Tag
tagged by @chyrstis​ thank you soooooooo much!!!!!!!! This was a hell of a lot of fun, and I’m going to eventually do my other deputy as well. I went with Val the first time because I’ve been writing her for a minute now. ^^;; But this honestly helped me figure her out a little more, so thank you again <3
Deputy Valya Vitale
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With Fangs for Hire:
     • Boomer: “Hey boy, you’re being a real good dog. I’m sure your folks know that.” / *patting her legs* “Who’s the best boy? Who’s the best dog that rips out peggie throats? That’s right!” *sound of laughter* “It’s you!” / “I fuckin’ love this dog.”      • Peaches: “Never been a cat person, but I’ll make an exception for you.” / “You think catnip works on cougars? I’m looking for some every place we check now.” / “Yes ma’am. You will absolutely get that treat I have for you when we stop next. I know you smell it.”      • Cheeseburger: “This is the best fuckin’ day of my life. I’m fighting with a bear. I think we’ll win.” / “I never knew what I needed in life was to pet a big ol’ grizzly bear. I mean, I’ve been hugged by bears before. Just not this kind. And I love it just as much, if not more.” / “Next time we stop to fish, I’m catching you so much food. Just for being you.”
With other Guns for Hire: Sharky      • “Hey Shark, remember when we got trashed down by the river? Pretty sure this is the spot. Cause I remember you puking there. And there. And me over there. And that’s where I lost my shoe. Hey! There’s my shoe! Small mysteries are solved each day.”      • “Hey buddy, how about if the enemy is say…whatever you’d rank a 3 out of 5 or higher…we don’t set it on fire?”      • “You won’t hear me say this one a lot, so appreciate it. But you were right. Fire was the answer.”      • “You are an absolute mad man and I love the shit out of you, but I need to fight upwind of you from now on. Smoke in my eyes and throat when I’m trying to scream in the face of some asshole that punched me in the tit isn’t what I’d call fantastic. Your aim is so much better now though.”
Grace      • “I’ll give you 20 bucks and my last good beer if you can shoot three peggies in the dick at the next outpost.” *when she’s met with silence* “Guessin’ that’s a no, then.”      • “You have the patience of a saint. I can’t wait even 30 seconds to let my food cool, let alone wait for some asshole to walk out from behind a pole. Fuckin’ amazin’.”
Hurk      • “Watch where you point that thing! And stop laughing, you know I’m not talking about your dick. That’s not an actual threat and we both know it.” *eventually starts laughing with him*      • “I ever tell you how much I love your stories? I never know how they’ll end. I love a good plot twist.”      • “Remember when you, me, and Shark got that moose drunk and we all spent the night in a tree? I’m pretty sure that moose remembers us. He is not a fan.”
Adelaide      • “You keep wonderin’ how they fuck—and that is a point of interest we can revisit later—but I’m wonderin’ how they do every day shit. Like, Jacob’s—does he hunt or does he fish? If he prefers hunting, that tells me big facts about him. They’re both about sittin’ and waiting, right? Schemin’ the right moment to move. One just makes you feel like a big boy, cause you get to hold a gun.  Hey, look at that. This time I left you speechless.”      • “Been considerin’ this for a minute, and if anyone ever asks I’ll deny it up and down and throw you under the bus all in one but…fuck Faith, marry Jacob, and kill Joseph. Last one was hard as fuck.”      • “I need you to just…stop talking for a while. Let’s say 30 minutes. 30 minutes of silence so my brain can finish bleaching itself. Thanks.”
Nick      • “You’re lucky you’ve got guns on that thing, or I’d be giving you a lot more shit about never putting your feet on the ground. I got literally nothin’ else to pick on you with that’s fair.”      • “So how different are planes from cars on a scale of one to ten? I’m just figurin’ out if some shit went wrong and you aren’t near…how fucked are we? Things to think about.”      • “You know, never really liked flyin’. My head’s in the clouds too much for my feet to be too. But I gotta say…you are damn good at it. Almost makes me wanna try. Almost.”
Jess      • “I mean, sure, its satisfying to line up the perfect shot from a mile away and nail it. I’ve been hunting, Jess. I’m just saying, for me personally, I’m a bigger fan of an oar or a baseball bat to the face when I can get it. Makes it personal, and all of this is very fuckin’ personal now.”      • “Look, I don’t like talkin’ about my feelings either, so I’m just gonna hug you.” *stalls after getting the evil eye but hugs quickly* “You are two feet tall and maybe ninety pounds. Like I’m scared of you this close up.”      • “If you were a part of breakfast, you’d be the coffee Jess. Dark and harsh, but great for a wakeup call.”
In Combat      • Seeing an enemy: “I’m on ‘em like flies on shit.” / “You got that one?”      • Sneaking: *mumbled string of ‘fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck’ whenever she moves a long distance* / “Man, fuck this sneaking shit right in the skull.”      • Killing an enemy: “Boo-fuckin-YAH bitch!” / *if you make your shot* “Hellyeah! That’s what I’m talkin’ about!”      • Reviving: “Nope. Not today. Gotta keep you on your feet.” / “Get the fuck up, it’s not the time for a lie down!”      • Hurt: “Well fuck me sideways. I’m alright, keep moving.” / “That’s definitely leavin’ a mark!” / “Oh go fuck yourself!”      • Downed: “Just need a minute here.” / “I think I need a hand up here!” / “Keep goin’, don’t waste time if you don’t got it.” Driving      • If asked to drive: “This may be the best decision you’ve made all day. Buckle up tight.” / “Alright, but seatbelts on or we don’t go anywhere at all.”      • Driving recklessly: “See, this is why I insist on seatbelts!” / “Slow the fuck down or you’ll fuck this car up! I ain’t seen another available ride in a minute!”      • Changing radio stations: “Will you settle on something? Oh, sorry, forgot where I was. Thought everything was normal and Shark was fiddlin’ with the radio again.” / “Cult’s fucked…but I’m okay with their music for the most part.”
Idle      • “Used to have a snake. He was a huge boa constrictor. He liked to kinda just wrap around me like I was a tree. It felt like the best hug there ever was.”      • “Did you know I grew up in Vegas? That place really is a constant party, even away from the strip if you know where to look. It’s not a great thing when you’ve got an addictive personality and prone to efforts of escapism. That’s why I moved out here. It’s pretty, its quiet, and the cost of gas to get anywhere is enough to deter the acquisition of drugs. So did working with Whitehorse. Man’s a saint. Reminds me of my Grandpa Conner—don’t tell him I said that. He’ll think I mean old.”      • “I taught myself how to be a mechanic. Books and experience, and it all started when my old truck broke down when I was 16. Couldn’t afford a mechanic, so I got my grandpa and some tools and learned a lesson that day. Then I had to learn the rest. I still have that old truck. Musta rebuilt that motherfucker from the ground up three times. Only a few things left of the original. But I’m a sentimental fool, and it was a gift.”      • “Callie says an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. Well, she didn’t say it but she quotes it a lot. But I’m thinking…maybe this time, we all just need to be blind. We need a reason to step back and reassess and neither side is gonna be the first to do it. So I’m skeptically hopeful of our win, but still down with the blind thing.”
Location Specific      • In the Henbane region: “Hey, if we could avoid bliss as often as possible…that would be great. Shit makes me feel like I dropped acid non-consensually.” / “Hmmm…there’s the tinglies in my spine again. Where is that little bitch of a plant? I’m gonna rip it apart.”      • In the Whitetails: “If we get a chance, I'd like to swing by my place. Make sure things are fine. Grab some tools. Get Reggie's ashes, since these fucks don't have respect for dead people, they definitely won’t have respect for dead pets.” / “Man, I miss hiking. Well I mean, technically we’re hiking right now. I mean I miss hiking without the sounds of an actual war. Birds and wind and shit. I miss that. But this is good exercise too.”      • Near any body of water: “Please say maybe this time we’re just out to fish. No? Worth a shot. One of these days.” / “This county has the best fishin’ spots in the world, but the best one’s require a hike and some camping gear to really enjoy.” / “If they hadn’t started dumping bliss in everything, I’d say let’s go for a quick swim. The water here is never as cold as you think it is.”      • Fall’s End: “Mary May runs a tight ship, but she can throw a hell of a party.” / “Pastor Jerome set me up with AA when I first moved to the county. He’s a damn good man, and a great listener.” / “As stupid as it is, I look forward to the Testy Festy every year. Love a good tradition. Sometimes you just need something to look forward to, you know?”
I’m going to tag @deathvalleyqueen​ because I’d like to learn more about your characters, but you may have been tagged before. ^^;;;
Thank you so so much! I don’t think I have many people I can tag that haven’t already been, but consider it an open tag if you see it on your dash. <3 
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endings beginnings reactions
an compilation, under the cut. (and my review at the very bottom)
thewanderlustcat: Ok so I finished EB. I don't know how I feel about it , there's way to many things left unsaid, to many things open to discussion, to little dialogue, like an hour long trailer for a movie. In terms of editing, I liked it. It had potencial to be a good movie (with the exception of the HUGE CLICHE plot ""twist""). I disliked Shaline and Seb's characters, but I found it cute that Seb said that he see's himself in jamie's character, I see that too. Him laying on the ground hmmm SO worth it, hot af
anon1: Can we talk about the dog?! OMG IT'S SO CUTE! It's a Corgi!  - SAME!!! In the scenes in the car all i could think was "where's the dog?? they did let him run away?!?"
anon2: I’m literally 20 minutes into EB and I’m already cringing. Improvising can be wonderful, but you have to have the right actors to do it. All the interactions so far feel so forced and off..I’m trying to enjoy but the dialogue is killing me 
anon3: That sex scene... pretty dramatic to me. Also I feel like shailene definitely has a thing for Sebastian.
anon4: Oh man! I did try and finish EB but I couldn’t ... I feel so bad, I really wanted to but it’s too boring despite S being the sexiest thing on earth x
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RS: I actually liked it fine. I had super low expectations after the clips that came out made me cringe SO hard, but I enjoyed it overall. It was chill. Something to kinda watch for 20 minutes then go make tea and put on a load of laundry, then keep watching, then scroll instagram for a bit when Seb isn’t on the screen, ya know?
I found Daphne really relatable and have def had similar struggles with life, men, and relationships. The shit she did reminded me of like that situation that we’ve probably all been in where a really good friend, like someone you’ve known for ages and basically consider a sister, just keeps making really dumb decisions and won’t own up to anything she’s doing and you’re like honey, I adore you, but please for the love of god just stop doing things for a minute. That friend of hers felt like an audience stand-in in that way. On the other hand, is it just me or is it a romantic movie cliche for the leading lady to have some kind of cutesy etsy-adjacent hobby? That she returns to as she ““““finds herself”“““? That bugged me. I’m officially putting my request into the universe to see more forestry ladies in romantic movies, our steel toe boots are extremely sexy.
I didn’t loooove that her process of self-actualization and self-love really kicked off with a pregnancy. (Also that much unprotected sex?? Folks! C’mon!) I have a tiny seed of a thought about how much she actually did really want to be pursued? She sends that text about feeling like the bachelorette and I think she was lying to herself about not wanting that... among the many other things she was lying about. You can see it in her reactions - the dude that keeps going after her is the one that (for then) wins.
What else, plot-wise... Oh, I was expecting the drug moment to be a lot bigger and darker, but I found it realistic. Definitely been there (not Frank there, Daphne there). Some of the character moments felt like an uncool 20 year-old’s idea of what a cool “grown up” does, like the absinthe which made me looool. Oh Drake,,, I too thought absinthe was cool and edgy when I was 23. Overall I didn’t really find there to be that many things left unexplained? I thought the flashbacks to her assault made sense and I got what was happening there before it was fully fleshed out. One of my frands pointed out that ring that she hawked was probably NOT worth any amount of LA rent though which is.. yeah.
I didn’t find the dialogue as clunky as I would have thought from the clips (and peoples’ comments).  I thought Shai and Jamie did a fine job and unfortunately due to who I am as a person could see myself falling madly in love with Frank and dating him for way too long (not just because of Seb, that type of dude is just catnip for me - the Big Sur trip (and to my eternal shame the playlist) would both work gangbusters on me). Both of them had good chemistry with Shailene and I thought their dates and whatnot were cute and/or romantic and sexy. It would have been really cool to see more of the guys relationship/interactions with each other sans Daphne, but maybe Drake was doing something filmmakery with the limited perspective and tunnel vision that Daphne has that she doesn’t really care about their relationship with eachother, just what they bring to her life.
It was a little hmmm anodyne? It didn’t make me feel any big emotions (other than lust but that’s Sebastian’s fault not the movie). I don’t huugely vibe with this style of filmmaking? Like the slice of life thing? I tend to want a little more oomph in my storytelling. I agree with the critiques that it was a lot of style and not as much substance. If it was a little more up its own ass I would have been happy to write it off but it skirted the line for me. It just.. didn’t say much? Even Daphne’s speech at the end (which I’ve seen that many people found emotional) felt a bit nothing-ish personally. But overall, for a movie that’s trying to do a realistic, “this is what life/love really is, man” kind of thing, I thought it succeeded decently well.
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