#literally every time and i never learn

[inkskinned]

love when men cry about body hair bc "it's hygiene" and yet 15% of cis men leave the bathroom without washing their hands at all and an additional 35% only just wet their hands without using soap. that is nearly half of all men. that means statistically you have probably shaken hands with or been in direct contact with one of these people.

love when men say that women "only want money" when it turns out that even in equal-earning homes, women are actually adding caregiver burdens and housework from previous years, whereas men have been expanding leisure time and hobbies. in equal-earning households, men spend an average of 3.5 hours extra in leisure time per week, which is 182 hours per year - a little over a week of paid vacation time that the other partner does not receive. kinda sounds like he wants her money.

love that men have decided women are frail and weak and annoying when we scream in surprise but it turns out it's actually women who are more reliable in an emergency because men need to be convinced to actually take action and respond to the threat. like, actually, for-real: men experience such a strong sense of pride about their pre-supposed abilities that it gets them and their families killed. they are so used to dismissing women that it literally kills them.

love it. told my father this and he said there's lies, damned lies, and statistics. a year ago i tried to get him to evacuate the house during a flash flood. he ignored me and got injured. he has told me, laughing, that he never washes his hands. he has said in the last week that women are just happier when we're cooking or cleaning.

maybe i'm overly nostalgic. but it didn't used to feel so fucking bleak. it used to feel like at least a little shameful to consider women to be sheep. it just feels like the earth is round and we are still having conversations about it being flat - except these conversations are about the most obvious forms of patriarchy. like, we know about this stuff. we've known since well before the 50's.

recently andrew tate tried to justify cheating on his partner as being the "male prerogative." i don't know what the prerogative for the rest of us would be. just sitting at home, watching the slow erosion of our humanity.

#writeblr #warm up #ps edited so it is more clear where “half” of men is coming from: #15% literally don't even touch water #an ADDITIONAL 35% ''wash'' by just running their hands under water WITHOUT SOAP #15+35 =50% #like that is not washing ur hands. go back and use soap #btw the numbers for women are 4% never washing and 15% ''just water'' #which is still gross but like. sooo much better yikes #ps i know we're all gay on this site but watching ppl ''correct'' my math on this has been wild #i have a learning disability im genuinely bad at math so i check EVERY time someone corrects me #but no they're just confidently wrong..... #182 hours is a week babes. 182/24 (number of hours in a day) is ~7.6 #that's where i got that number from. also from rent we know there's 168 hours in a week. #ALSO btw if u read this and ur response is ''men are also struggling rn tho'' like babe you missed the point of it tho #this doesn't even make fun of men it's legit just pointing out that bigotry against women isn't founded #in anything men actually CARE about . like they don't actually CARE about ''being clean'' when they make fun of armpit hair #or they would be WASHING THEIR HANDS. #men pretend to be rollin' in cash and Apex Predators and instead they are trained to be lazy and unwilling to act in emergencies #i have never and will never make fun of men for asking for more support on important topics like DV and mental health. #this is so clearly not about men; it's about how common just being plainly misogynistic has become. #like they don't try to hide it anymore.

[shannonsketches]

Why is the anime so weird, it's not even the same series dude?? It's like,

Anime:

GOKU: I have a great idea to bring peace to the universe, and my leadership and compassion alone will unite us all. I have No Flaws and am A True Relatable Everyman :)

VEGETA: NO! I AM THE BEST AND I WILL CAUSE PROBLEMS UNTIL I AM RECOGNIZED AS SUCH!!!!

Manga:

GOKU: Vegeta what's cornmeal made of? I know it's what the corn eats, but what's it made of? VEGETA: Hey Kakarot let's play the quiet game until one of us dies.

#silly hours #I do not understand this writing it's so bad aklsdlkasjd #Toei wants Goku to be Clark Kent SO bad and he SO isn't lmao #they're so good and dumb and rounded and complex in the manga what is the anime so afraid of #Toriyama said 'no no this man is a detached faux-immortal who has a dear pure heart but he's childlike and selfish even though he's kind' #and toei went 'got it goku's never done anything wrong ever in his life' #toriyama said 'Vegeta's gone through a lot and he's finally settling into his more mature leadership role with the confidence he's earned' #and toei said 'got it vegeta has the confidence of a high school bully except now he can interact with his family as a comedy bit' #girl hWHAT #Toei trying to group Goku and Vegeta as two people who would rather train than be with their families and Toriyama said NO Vegeta wants #to be HOME this is the first time in years that he's HAD ONE and it makes him HAPPY to be with his wife and children!! #Vegeta trains so that he can protect the things he doesn't want to lose again and Goku trains because it's the thing that makes him happies #They are NOT the same lmao And yeah Vegeta still wants to beat Goku but he also knows that Gohan could dogwalk both of them if he wanted #He also knows Trunks and Goten are going to surpass them it's not about being the best anymore he's past that he just wants to Not Need Gok #He just doesn't want to have to rely on Goku to save the day he wants to be Enough on his own he just wants to know he can be #because every time it's mattered he WASN'T and people he loved were lost to his inability to protect them and he carries that #Like Whis diagnosed him with anxiety and cptsd out in the open and Beerus said he was self-centered for feeling guilt #+ he lowkey enjoys the rivalry it keeps him goal-oriented so he can't get complacent and lazy which is what triggered his Buu Saga breakdow #realized how Fucked Up it was that having a home and loving family made him feel like he was failing and went 'wait no I won actually??' #now he's chill as fuck in the manga. cool confident leader. #and sometimes he is childish and dumb with Goku as a treat #you know what rocks about his rivalry with Goku in Super though is that it's Playful. Vegeta is learning how to Play. #You ever seen a shelter dog get introduced to a really playful dog and it takes a minute for the shelter dog to understand it's safe here #And then they're both running around the backyard playing hot potato with one braincell?? That's Goku and Vegeta's relationship #and the way the anime sleeps on that dynamic is so fucking criminal especially when it's literally canon it's in print it's out there #you had the playbook how'd you fumble it this bad #anyway that's my 25+ year blorbo thoughts I love Geets a lot okay #And I love Goku in the manga a lot I'd forgotten that he's actually a great character when Toei's not fucking up his whole vibe

[hand-face-chan]

I'm only halfway though Hbomberguy's new video and I dont know if this is a universal experience but my main horrified takeaway from hbomb's plagiarism video so far is that one of my highschools TAUGHT AN ENTIRE CLASS OF 13 YEAR OLDS TO PLAGIARISE. LIKE, ON PURPOSE.

I ended up moving to a much better highschool, but my first highschool essentially taught us to "write" essays by reading what someone else had written and then write what they said again but putting it "into your own words". Which in practice was teaching us to change, for example, "the works of Shakespeare were regarded by many as the first popular art form" to "Shakespeare's plays have been said by some to be the first example of popular media". One teacher actually told us that the process of writing an essay was "saying what the people you've researched have said, in a way where it sounds like you said it".

Like. The tactics that actual plagiarists use to hide the fact that they were stealing. An actual teacher tried to teach me to do that.

#hbomberguy #im so glad i left that school early the next year. it definitely would have gotten worse. #i literally didnt learn what a bibliography was until grade 9 because of how shit my first highschool was. #at the same time if a student wrote a paper that was 'too good' even if it was orginal theyd accuse them of stealing without proof #like i wrote a completely original paper and got the note 'this is very good - did you write it all yourself?' #fuck you man. yes i did. despite you trying to teach me to do the opposite #they accused me of getting my parents to write it for me. i had to show them everything i researched and my dad lost it at them #this was also the same school where they took every kid with a disability out of maths regardless of if they were good at maths or not #and taught them shapes like they were fucking three years old #i remember hanging out in the maths with all the other autistic kids and prentending to have never seen a triangle before for a joke #and while thats really bad and abelist. the non-disabled kids were still being taught addition and division like they were 8 and not 12 #the whole thing was a massive fuck up shit fest. it took the year 7 maths teacher leaving for us to all get the same maths class #and we STILL werent being taught to an age appropriate level because we missed so much grade 7 maths it had to be caught up in grade 8 #i would burn it down but its not a highschool anymore lol

[definitelynotnia]

im sorry i have to rant im so fucking pissed

my exams end on 19th and I have to get rid of some books and buy some books which are quite pricy online so I had planned on going to college street on 20th and selling my books and buying the new ones at a cheap price and i was frankly really excited about it because all I get is a one day break to relax bcz i have to start studying for entrances from 21st so all I have is 20th and i wanted to spend it at college street and then get some food and basically have like a solo date kind of thing.

and i was so so excited about it i told my boyfriend about it like 500 times bcz i kept forgetting i've already mentioned it and it was literally on my mind a lott so i kept bringing it up and ik it seems like not a big deal cz i can just sit at home and chill too but i literally do not get to go outside my house. like- the last time i went out was new years eve and after that the only time i've gone out is to school or to give my boards that is it. my mother has some weird like problem wiht me going out like even if i tell her that i just want to go to our terrace for 5 minutes just to get some fresh air she won't even allow that she'll be all suspicious and like sTaNd In ThE bAlCOnY aNd TaKe FrEsH aIr like she herself doesnt leave the house (and blames it on me and my brother ???? when have we ever stopped you bro, she said I HaVe To Be HeRe To KeEp An EyE like im 18 i dont need to be watched 24/7 stop blaming me for choices you put upon yourself) and i just feel so suffocated ALL THE TIME i feel so overstimulated and im so sick of rotting on my bed and i dont want to wait for some birthday party or friends meet up to be able to leave my goddamn house i just wanted to go and have a fun day and get me some books thats it.

anyway so initially the plan was that my mom would go along but something came up so she wanted to postpone it to 21st and i didn't want to bcz i'd already be missing 3 days bcz of my boyfriends birthday, holi and my brothers birthday (all of which are important and i dont want to miss which makes me the villain apparently bcz i should "adjust" and cancel my "parties" instead of trying to stick to my plan bcz that makes me too demanding and selfish apparently) so i suggested that ukw why dont u go do ur thing which came up and i'll go to college street by myself...which is when the solo date idea came which i had really wanted all along but didnt bring up bcz i knew she'd say no but now there's a valid reason for me to go alone so like, its a pretty easy fix i can just go alone but noooo. First of all,

I've been to college street multiple times before so its not like its an unknown area to me

im going by metro which is quite safe

im going when there is stark daylight and i will return home much much before it gets dark and im literally 18

she never lets me go anywhere alone, not even take ubers alone if i want to get back from somewhere my bf has to come drop me everytime and then go backwards to his house which is so so so stupid and i never get to go out alone unless accompanied by family or by a male friend, so obv when i said i'll go to college street alone she refused to let that happen and started screaming about how 'if its so important to go on 20th bcz u dont want to miss a day of studying then cancel ur 'parties' and study then' and i was like no its not about missing a day its just that there's a very easy and logical fix to this problem which is i go alone and its not inconveniencing anyone so why cant i just do that but she will not listen to that bcz im 'adamant' and 'everything has to be according to me' bcz i found a viable solution to the problem. so instead of letting me just go she was literally ready to pay much more money and buy the books online, like.....why cant i just go bro??? (and she keeps telling me im a waste of her money bcz i will amount to nothing in life and my education was a failed investment or wtv so like now why are u wasting more money??? im literally trying to save the money that u 'waste' on me so just let me ???)

anyway i called my dad last night and told him and he was super ok with the idea he said its a good idea that i go alone and that he would speak to her but then today when i asked her if dad spoke to her she said yes, we'll go on 20th and i was like .....we? so apparently she CANCELLED her previously immovable thing for which she wanted me to cancel my 'parties', she cancelled that and agreed to go with me on 20th just so that i dont get to go alone- like ???????????????? what is ur problemmmm

so obv i was super annoyed and i went on a whole ass rant about how i literally struggle to even cross roads bcz i dont know shit about basic travelling bcz all my life ive been in a car and its a running joke with all my guy friends that i 'cannot navigate' and 'dont know any places' and obv??? if im never allowed to go anywhere then how tf will i know the places- the only places i know is bcz recently i've been paying a lot of attention and asking my dad stuff about what roads to take to reach certain places and when i go out with my friends i kind of try and learn a bit but thats it i've only ever gone alone completely alone to two places which is my beauty parlour thats 5 minutes away from my house and one bazaar one time that was 2 bus stops away, thats it. thats my extent of public travelling alone. and now im supposed to go to a whole new STATE for college and i cant even call myself an auto without struggling. and like- is this not a basic life skill??? like ok yeah its not rocket science and i will probably figure it out even if i start later in life but why not now? most of my guy friends literally go everywhere alone, why not me? and my dad agreed with all of this but my mom was just like "you'll be in the hostel only, no need to go out of the campus" like ARE YOU FOR REAL????????? and she's like "if u want to learn skills learn how to cook" like ok yes i will also learn how to cook for sure but i wont have a fucking kitchen in the hostel but somehow cooking is an urgent skill i should learn but going places by myself is unimportant bcz i should just never? leave? the? hostel?

anyway after much screaming and shouting my dad gave up and just cut the call bcz he doesnt want to get into an argument with my mother and my mother was being all suspicious like why do u hAvE tO gO aLoNe AlL oF a SuDdEn even though i literally explained why i want to do this alone but she doesnt think thats valid. so she refuses to let me go and i asked her for one reason why i shouldnt cz usuallt its always "no u have exam what if smthn happens" but now i literally dont even have exam so whats ur excuse now? streets will always be unsafe forever so "what if smthn happens" is not a reason to never let me go out without a man so just gimme one reason and she couldnt give me a single reason she just said "i said no, thats it".

and now she's gone off about how im useless and blah blah and "high maintainance" bcz i want books and "everyone else (some pishi's son) just studies online" and so the whole option of college street is apparently now cancelled and she's trying to set up a whole ass kindle account (half the books i need arent even available as ebooks) just because i wanted to go by myself.

#in our house kids dont stay outside past 6:30pm'' but now all of a sudden its fine for my brother to play #till 10:30 at night #she literally stopped me permanently from going down in the evenings since i was in class 7-8 #this is why ive never had any friends outside of school bcz she wouldnt let me leave ths fucking house #and now that my brother is in class 7 #he's allowed to be out playing with his friends till 10 freaking 30 #he comes home an hour late sometimes...45 minutes and almost always at least 30 minutes late at NIGHT and she says nothing except like #one sentence #yeah im only the villain i only keep u locke #up in the house its all my fault #this is just so damn unfair #like literally insulting #im not a child what is her problem #what sort of fucking solution is 'never leave the hostel' like ok even if i do that what happens then??? after i graduate? #i'll be a 24 year old who doesnt know shit about going from one place to another without a man present] #and then this woman preaches how she 'always raises her son and daughter equally' like srsly shut the fuck up #my whole life i've been told abar late?'' #and for me bcz i would come home 5-10 minutes late nd i did it maybe once or twice she made me completely stop going down to play #5-10 minutes late from 6:30 wherein he comes an hour late from 9 fucking 30 #and this sounds so stupid bcz im an 18 year old now and i dont give a fuck abt how long i got to play but its just unfair dude #with me it was always smthn or the other either exams or she gets miraculously sick every time i want to go out to play #im not even kidding she did a whole “i have fever and ur going to leave me like this and go play?” on me one time bcz i was adamant abt goi #after months of not being able to go bcz of exam or smthn or the other #she did not have any fever it was fucking bullshit #and how am i supposed to help with ur imaginary fever anyway im literally 12 #its so fucking annoying man and then if i say anything at all she'll go on a tirade about how #like YOU DO THOUGH??????? im sorry ur feelings are hurt bcz i said you do smthn that u LITERALLY DO #istg not even 2 days ago she was having a fight with my dad abt how he should teach my brother to learn how to cycle so that he can go buy #groceries #i can cycle

[sammygender]

YALL ARE NOT SERIOUS PEOPLE no way i’m looking at the tumblr tag for spn 7x03 aka the sam centric flashback episode dealing with his childhood trauma and how he feels like he’s a freak and everyone is just posting about DEAN. dean and his stupid fucking pie. dean winchester used to be my guy! genuinely! s2-3 i truly thought i was a deangirl! But you people (plus this show atp lmfao) are making me hate him😭

#he was cute witn his silly pie. and i care for him and understand he’s grieving cas and thinks he’s about to lose sam and is therefore copin #Awfully and doing things like resorting to black and white john winchester embedded monster racism to do so #But thing is i’m actually getting pretty fucking sick of him coping awfully #he never learns he never grows he just gets angrier. he’s incapable of seeing sammy as someone whose decisions can be respected despite the #fact sam literally SAVED THE WORLD by SACRIFICING HIMSELF. #he just sits around and drinks and tries to become his father and avoid becoming his father in equal amounts #he’s actually awful!! sam goes off to do a case something totally justified (tho sure he could’ve asked) and dean fucking punches him in the #face… and somehow it just Doesn’t feel haha funny because its forceful and it’s serious and this is like the 3rd time he’s done this shit #and it’s also in the same ep where we see sams fraught relationship w john (Bc Duh) which is paralleled to the relationship amy has with her #mom where her mom fucking hits her. like. #dean winchester!!! when i find you!!!!!!!! stop recreating ur trauma!!!!!!!! stop taking shit out on sam :( #he cares sooooooooo deeply and it affects every fucking thing he does that’s why he’s so awful and why he cant cope #But guess what the same can be said about john winchezter the same can be said about a LOT of people. doesn’t excuse anything dean. GET YOUR #SHIT TOGETHER. #i love dean he’s vividly compelling to me. But. :/ #oliver talks #sam winchester

[broodygaming]

rewatching she-ra again while I draw and and and omfg

In S5 when Wrong Hordak (never not funny) asks Entrapta about her "facial tic" and she IMMEDIATELY just explains to him what it is - a wink - what it's called and how it's used and THEN gives him encouragement to try it out so he understands it better and feels more confident??

My. Fucking. Heart. neurodivergent ppl looking out for neurodivergent ppl and showcasing EXACTLY how to just not be a dick to people who don't get social cues. It's not our fault. It's not personal. It's not us trying to be difficult. We just don't get it. Explain it, give an example, a safe place to practice it and boom, logged and loaded.

#she ra and the princesses of power #spop #things that make me feel feral in a good way : entrapta #gods i adore her #her smile in the opening credits make me giddy and grin EVERY single time I see it and ive seen it literally hundreds of times haha #I think the way entrapta is “treated” is actually really well done cuz it's realistic and the payoff is earned #they have to learn to understand her and she also has to learn how to not step on feelings as much #both parties do bad things and work towards one another #ya know? Like im glad she's like... not some innocent flower who can do no harm #girls harmed haha girls harmed a LOT in fact #and in many ways the others are justified in being frustrated with her #and the resolution that's 90% just communication issues is SO GOODDDDDD #cuz it's NEVER been that Entrapta just doesn't care - she does! She has almost 0 tools to express that care and walls herself off instead #and the princess' help her break down those walls and build doors and windows #one painful brick at a time #GIRL same

[clonememesfrikyeah]

You know what would be the worst? If at the end of the war when all is said and done, after the clones lost every little thing they had, after Vaders rise and the Jedi’s fall, after all that death and hardship and misery? It would be terrible to be a clone and wake up like suddenly coming out of a coma, in a stasis chamber that they grew up in and rarely left, there was the craziest dream just before and there’s the lingering feeling something important just happened, this is Kamino 35bby, all the information they were just fed is already neatly stored in their perfect flash-memory brain. No ones died yet, all of that was a simulation based on a calculation of events to instal orders and hone the discipline of troops. It’s dark, there’s no way of telling if anyone or anything exists beyond the boundary’s of the inside. There’s a designated call sign and designation along with vitals displayed in the line of vision, it’s also counting down the seconds to when a new simulation is set to begin.

#as like a fanfic idea tho #how high am I? this high: #it’s like a matrix kind of deal #because even though the body is under the conscious mind is awake and active fully living years of time in minutes #and they’d be grown and raised in the tubes they were made in #never leaving until peak physical maturity has been achieved and there let out to learn physical skills #like building muscle and reflexes and social interaction and all that #imagine the new level of fucked up that would be #the clones would be robbed of literally everything #it’s also like everything everywhere all at once #the clones neural pathways and connected through wires so they get the same brain response they normally would when normally interacting #WTF am I even talking about no one is going to care about this this is random nonsense #tcw #the clone wars #Designation CT-7567 Call sign R-E-X slated rank Captain track 406 group 501 #and the entire war is one big simulation #only the prequels are cannon and everything is Freeform for all #so the clones lived a different war every couple minutes while in hyper growth tubes for 5 years so they learned from so many mistakes #this is me making the clones spartan like in an attempt to make them immortal because they would be the perfect weapon and person #imagine how crazy smart and unshakable they would be #clone troopers #the clones #captain rex #commander fox #commander wolffe #the prequel trilogy #arc trooper #star wars legends #the clone wars 2003 #rep com

[astrxealis]

hi guys please wish me luck for my college entrance exam tomorrow for one of my dream schools xoxo

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #LET'S GOOO MGA PAREH 💙🦅💙🦅💙🦅💙🦅 #i'm so chill for some reason even if ik i will never forgive myself if i don't get in. anyway. manifesting!!! i will pass with flying colors #IT'S REAL DAMN STRESSFUL FOR ME bcs i am aiming for honors courses which means i have to be top 15%... i am top 15% (and higher) in my batch #in school anyway but... urgh... #so. yeah. give me all your best wishes thankyousomuchxoxo AHHEHEHWHSHFJAH sobbing (but fr. if you do. i really appreciate it!!) #i believe in myself :] mostly. the time limit scares me and math and abstract reasoning bcs 5 minutes for 30 items but yeah. okay. #i am Smart ..... bro i literally got perfect on my physics exam and got 100 in statistics (i am really proud of these in particular) #my extracurriculars are good !! all my math scores are insane (cue a math nerd) and science (science nerd) english (god. no explanation #needed) honestly every subject is slay and so is my essay-making but ERGH. honors course... top 15%... #i will try to be chill! honestly i am already lol the nerves aren't getting to me somehow. gl to me and all that i know and do not know. #both here and irl :3 also to fellow ph kids (who are most likely younger than me if they aren't older and yk not worrying abt cets anymore #LMFAO) err idk if . okay idk what i was going to say LMFAO anyway i'm busy af and idk if i'm good with teaching others #but if you ever want any tips from me (honestly i don't really have tips. i do what i do and just make it. but there's a lot involved there) #feel free to come to me for anything ^_^ anything at all tbh. doesn't have to be acads idk i like helping others in general. BUT IT DEPENDS. #but yeah just hmu whatever i will have you know i am genuinely a smart & responsible kid and i am proud of that bcs my family is amazing w #smarts but also the Hard Work is there so :3 !! english is my forte science is my forte math is my forte. also socsci and whatever tbh. #i'm probably insane but i genuinely love all those topics and what we learn in school FISHFK so yeah !!! okay i shut up now #will do my best... zzz... and then i will work on myself. to be better than i already am and even better than i could possibly be. ya. fun! #the mga pareh is a joke btw i like imitating filipino kids like that. like yooo mga pareh let's goooooo wahee!!!!!

[covenofthearticulate]

if i was a writer on amc’s iwtv and i wanted to give louis cool vampire powers i simply would’ve magnified his “gift of knowing others’ suffering” into an actual empathic dark gift. RIP to those bastards who butchered his character but i’m different.

#every few months i simply HAVE to bring up my Big Brain Theory that louis actually does have empathic powers #it would've been such a genius way for the show to establish that louis is Full Vampire without stripping him of his foundational qualities #Louis has always had a hard time disconnecting from his victims but it's not as straightforward as the mind gift #it makes total sense to me that Louis could have the power to absorb human emotions and lestat just dismissed it lmfao #and then Louis never learned to use it bc he didn't realize it was A Thing so he just continues to Suffer #they even could've kept the camp and humor with louis 'accidentally spellbinding' mortals like he does in the books!! #literally anything would've been better than what they did with the food/sex/home bullshit asfdagfchvsbcdkjahsbdc

[pepprs]

i literally need there to stop being situations circumstances events developments complications and happenstances. for the fucking love of god

#purrs #but there will never stop being any of those things so actually what i literally need is to learn HARD AND FAST how to stop getting so #fucking triggered over a situation i know is NOTHING so bad that im anxious for the entire rest of the day and can’t even get any work done. #like (jade from tesco voice) girls… im not gonna lie to you. i think therapy is not working. i think i am not mentally or emotionally strong #enough to work in this job and i think i am never going to get mentally or emotionally stronger. ive been stuck in the quicksand too long #and now im atrophying. i cannot develop the situational awareness and motor skills or awakeness (and i mean AWAKEness.) to safely and #consistently drive a car. i cannot develop the intellect and drive and courage to get an advanced degree or be in a leadership position that #everyone actually sees as a leadership position lmfao. and i cannot develop the emotional intelligence and inner peace to not get triggered #out of my fucking mind at work to the point where im having anxiety heart palpitations and fighting back tears. i am just stuck as i am #forever. and you know how i know that? BECAUSE IVE WORKED AT THE NATIONALLY RENOWNED CENTER FOR YOU-ARE-NOT-STUCK-AS-YOU-ARE-FOREVER FOR #FIVE FUCKING YEARS SINCE ITS LITERAL FOUNDING AND HELPED TO FOUND IT AND IM STILL LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!! i go back to square one EVERY #FUCKING DAY!!!!!!!! how am i supposed to tell other people who they are is what they bring and the world can change and whatever when i am #the fucking antithesis of that. when i don’t even believe my own words. like the way i want to punch out every window in this building rn i #HATE BEING LIKe this i hate being in the psychic prison of scared little girl mode all the time forever no matter what and being beyond help #and disappointing and burdening the people around me because i can’t be fucking normal about like. hierarchy and institutional politics LOL #delete later

[inkskinned]

yesterday while feverish i wrote about how boats can moor next to each other like pigeons, cooing with the gentle rap of water against their hull. you once said that that the way i see things - birds in the water, feathers in marina paint - was "childish and naive." you said i'd been misdiagnosed - "it can't all be adhd. you might be just kind of stupid and lazy."

i still do certain things like how you taught me - turn the pillow case inside out before putting it on. drive defensively. hate myself entirely.

the prompt for this poem is "mahler's fifth." i wish it wasn't, but mahler's fifth was our song. it ended up in my book. every person that knows your name has promised me they'll give you one swift rabbit punch, right to the face. dean read the book and showed up on my front porch, drenched in sweat from running the 8 miles at 4 in the morning. he was shaking. pacifist and gentle - he works with children - i'd never seen him furious. a punch isn't going to do it, he said, and then said i'm sorry. i had to come to see if you were okay.

mahler's fifth was mine first, like my girlhood. i like the way each movement piles onto the next movement, each instrument bleeding into the next. i like the horn version the best. before i met you, i danced to it on grass still-wet from sprinklers.

later you would tell me that the way you heard it was somehow better. you understood something in it that i couldn't quite wrap my fingers into. once, on our anniversary, you asked the classical music radio station to play it for us. we missed hearing it because we were fighting. one of the things people get wrong about abuse is that sometimes victims are, like, brutally aware of the stupidity of our situation. what do you mean that you thought i wasn't good enough for you? you? you're just... nothing.

sometimes people can pull the poetry out of your life. i watched my words become clothesline, and then thin out into kite twine. i watched you chew through every good syllable of me. so many good songs and places and moments were ruined. i am glad you didn't like most of my music - less to tie back to you.

but still mahler's fifth. the music swells, and i am 21 and throwing up in a bathroom on my birthday. a woman i will later refer to as lesbian jesus runs a cool hand down my back, her perfect pantsuit starch-pressed. she told me to leave you. she said - and this is true, and not an invention of rhyme or fantasy - i'm you from the future.

i am 22, and i got home from an award ceremony, and i remember you telling me - you act so proud of yourself when you're actually so fucking embarrassing. i took you to disney world. you took my virginity. i gave up visiting spain for a week with my family - i instead choose you, to spend the time just-cuddling. you called it "our fuck week." the music swells. it probably should have been a red flag that for about 3 years - i just gave up on crying. my grandfather died and you said nothing. my uncle died and you ghosted me for 3 weeks. you said i need to protect myself from your ongoing tragedy.

every so often i come back to the memory of one of our last afternoons in person. i had just told you that i wasn't going to law school, despite the free ride - i was going to join a creative writing program. master's in fine arts. i was going to finally do it - i was going to follow my dreams. this blog was already internet-famous. however reluctantly, i would occasionally refer to myself as a poet. i got into umass amherst's writing program for fiction authors. it is one of the the top 5 programs in the country.

wait are you seriously considering actually attending that? dumbfounded, you turned completely towards me in your seat. for the 3rd time in our relationship, you almost crashed the car. you actually want to be a writer?

the first time i went viral, it was for a poem i wrote about you:

he wants to say i love you but keeps it to goodnight because love will take some falling and she's afraid of heights.

every time i see that, i want to throw up. you weren't in love with me, you were in love with the control you had over me. a little truth though: i am afraid of heights. you caught a rabbitgirl and skinned her alive.

mahler's fifth still makes me sick.

give me that back. give me back music. give me back everything i had before you. give me back fearlessness. give me back bravery. give me back a scarless body.

give me back what you took from me.

#nosebleed club #sorry stephen not ur fault #just like. thinking #writeblr #spilled ink #warm up #every time nat is like - oh let me get that for u #im like .... this is a trick right like ur gonna be mean now bc u did something nice rn #so obviously if ur being nice now either u did something mean and im about to learn about it #or you're going to BE mean #or ur gonna hold this over my head forever and i'll never get a nice thing ever again? #and every time nat is like .... babe i just actually like u #lesbian jesus story is 100% real btw. she also told me not to be an event planner #literally changed the shape of my life

[roobylavender]

do you believe Bruce is emotionally abusive? ik fans prioritise physical abuse and ultimately ignore emotional abuse tactics like parentification etc because it’s not “that bad”. I don’t believe Dick ever resents Bruce for letting him be robin (he’s grateful for it) , but in ntt he mostly resents him for being emotionally closed off, and rejecting him as a partner. Bruce worries for his kids safety so he pushes the whole “if you’re not perfect you’re dead” mentality onto Dick which ultimately is harmful to him. He’ll never regret being a hero but the rift between the two isn’t just a “we want different things” scenario but more that they’re incapable of giving the other what they want.

bruce being emotionally closed off from dick is what’s revisionist about that version of canon though. i think bruce can be bad at communicating sometimes esp when he’s deeply pained (like in knightfall, for example) but for the most part he and dick are shown to have great communication for decades before new teen titans and the adjacent post crisis starlin canon starts to rewrite that dynamic into something else entirely. per that version of canon i do believe he’s emotionally abusive but it’s not a version of canon i particularly appreciate bc it requires overriding the dynamic they had previously where they could certainly be prone to disagree at times but bruce was nonetheless willing to have an open and understanding conversation with dick about whatever the disagreement was. even the whole idea that bruce is responsible for dick believing that he has to be perfect or he has to be dead is one that new teen titans cements (or that issue of batman where bruce makes dick quit and jason is introduced thereafter)

i get that it’s easy to take new teen titans as gospel bc it is in essence the textbook source for dick but i think there should be some awareness too of how it twists that relationship between them and not necessarily for the better. i’m not opposed to bruce having faults he has to answer for. i absolutely agree he’s not cognizant enough of the complexes dick develops as a result of wanting to be seen as an equal, and thereby can’t realize the effect it has on dick for him to still be protective and fearful even if it’s ultimately out of goodwill and love. and there’s also the fact that even if he gives dick the space he desires to lead his own life it doesn’t mean he should be hesitant to reach out bc he’s afraid he’ll overstep by doing so, as a parent he should reaffirm his love for dick regularly regardless of knowing he might get some pushback bc dick is growing into his own (again, knightfall is a really superb example of this). but i also think those are tensions you can wholeheartedly explore without rendering bruce into a controlling and abusive figure, and i’m not sure who it benefits to write bruce as such in the long run

some of dick’s problems have to be his own, and he’ll never escape bruce’s shadow if the only source point of issues in his life is his relationship with bruce. that’s something i would actually apply to the robins at large. hardly any of them are allowed to explore problems entirely unique to themselves and i think that’s in large part bc writers simultaneously portray a mildly to explicitly abusive bruce at their leisure while refusing to ever actually address the elephant in the room that is literally of their own creation. a lot of people believe the bruce shouldn’t be an abuser argument is framed entirely as a resistance to bruce’s character assassination and for me i can admit that’s part of it, but a more pertinent part of it should also be the fact that bruce being written as an abuser is what truly chains his children to him forever to the point that they can never grow beyond that abuse bc writers refuse to allow them to. imagine the problems the robins could be addressing individually in their lives if not everything came down to them being fucked up bc that’s the way bruce raised them or failed to thereby. there’s a lot about the robins as individuals that’s deeply interesting and i think it’s not just a disservice to bruce but to them as well to write the relationships this way bc it obscures their own agency and ability to be explored for more than a haunted legacy narrative

#sry this is so very long. please know it is not me venting at you i simply have many thoughts 😭 #but yeah like i think something that gets lost in translation is like. i absolutely do think those portrayals of bruce are abusive #i simply don’t think he should have been portrayed as such to begin with #starlin era bruce is very bewildering for me in all honesty i dislike it deeply #the issue where dick meets jason is one of my least favorite for the way it portrays bruce it feels so out of character for me #considering bruce was more than happy for dick to go off to college or to find his own place with the titans #and even with that famous issue where dick meets bruce after learning jason has died the writing is quite odd to me #i think bruce is very much someone who directs blame and frustration inward as opposed to outward #he’ll let himself get dog walked if he thinks he deserves it. which i think knightfall illustrates fabulously #the beginning of no man’s land as well #what i don’t think he would ever do is lash out at others when he knows the blame lies with himself. bruce is very self critical #so honestly that whole scene in the cave with him and dick. doesn’t exist to me i would literally rewrite it 😭 #and i think it is very significant that wolfman chose to recreate that slap three times if memory serves while every other write in bat #editorial at the time straight up ignored it and acted like it never happened. like idk that plus the way bruce was characterized during #knightfall to me says a lot about how that was not supposed to be the status quo at all #anyway. sorry this has devolved into a whole other rant please do not mind me 😔 #outbox

[bamboozled-distress]

why is there so much hate on poppy 😭 god forbid a woman do anything

#poppy is literally my favourite character i might have an unhealthy crush on her #AND I GO ON TIKTOK AND WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE HER GUYS #‘she ruined the songs’ #‘branch deserves better’ #‘the her and viva subplot in trolls shouldve been erased’ #‘poppy never learns the lesson she’s just so annoying to branch’ #‘poppy gets on my nerves so bad hope she dies in the next movie’ #WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS #‘i pretend trolls world tour doesn’t exist bc it doesn’t go with the trollsverse at all it’s the worst trolls movie ever’ #WHY ARE YOU HATING ON THE LESBIAN TROLLS MOCIE #POPPYS CHARACTER DEVELOPMEMT IS SO COMPLEX SND SO INTRESTING SHES LOVABLE AND WITH HOW SHE WAS RAISED OBVIOUSLY SHE WOUKD HAVE A HARD TIME #COMPREHENDING THE ABILITY TO HELP IN OTHER WAYS!!!!! THE WAY THAT BEING QUEEN HAS BEEN HARD ON HER AND HER DEVEKOPEMT OF BEING A GOOD QUEEN #IS LITETALLY THE BEST THING EVER WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU #plus why would you want to get rid of the poppy lore #like king peppy gets more fucking terrible in each movie you can’t look me in the eye and say you weren’t excited to see how badly he could #fuck up now #he’s powering himself up every mocie to become the ultimate villain in the last trolls movie guys #trust me. im right #i love poppy so much why is everyone being so mean to her #that’s very lesbophobic actuallg #trolls #poppy #laz.exe

[samuraisharkie]

ok I genuinely think @is-the-owl-video-cute has gone off the deep end. what makes you act like that on the internet for real. I don’t even have a real stock in this bullshit drama but they are just the most reactionary asshole to people? how can y’all look up to them they are genuinely so immature and pissy. they’ve been throwing a fit over users they personally dislike and using absolutely no proof at all to say they doxxed ppl. there’s like zero proof other than they don’t like them LMAO. can y’all log the fuck off please?? before someone actually gets hurt??

#is-the-owl-video-cute #yeah I’m tagging actually I hope ppl searching for drama see this and get a reality check #I saw that archived link what the actual fucking shit in hell were they thinking typing that? #they arent fucking animal murderers. they don't like the way scout handles their media presence or their farm #but that doesn’t mean they doxxed them and there is zero evidence to suggest as much. they’ve said they didn’t so like. nothing to go on.💀 #(frankly also. scout and owlvid should be able to handle criticism and disagreements like normal fucking people #instead of flying off the handle literally every single time. like it’s a pattern) #I think both of them should just log off until they learn to handle this shit in a normal way #and without encouraging their impressionable followers to go on witch-hunts after ppl. #especially bc they don’t like it when it happens to them?? yet they say NOTHING when their followers start harassing ppl?? telling lol #I can’t stand it. y’all aren’t educators and you will never be the end all be all of every opinion you have. stop assuming such. #owlvid has had wildly inaccurate ‘facts’ about rabbits before but acting like they KNOW this shit is infuriating. #I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that every ‘is the x animal cute’ blog has gone to shit and up a creek though #just particularly disappointed in owlvid and scout for the way they’ve handled this #while KNOWING the amount of followers that would swallow their boots all the way their their head if they could #like. cmon. you can say you don’t know enough abt this subject to comment. it’s ok. #and I think scout should be able to handle and address criticisms abt their cows without losing it every single time like #I’ve never met a good farmer that can’t handle criticism for their animals. it’s part of the job you won’t please everyone #and if you are planning on being an educator you have to be able to handle those criticisms with a level head and understanding. #that’s not what owlvid OR scout do. they are influencers on a power trip. #if you want respect you have to give it. not one of the dreaded rabbit people have been disrespectful about their criticism. #it is not so the other way around and that’s telling as hell #the only time I’ve seen these apparently evil sadistic rabbit bloggers make sardonic or disrespectful (I guess?) comments is on their own #and when they’re frustrated about being labeled like they kick puppies for fun for being a fucking normal ass farmer lol #you’d think maybe scout would be able to get that. maybe not so much owlvid bc they don’t seem to understand rural animal care #for the record I’m not looking at any of these blogs involved with scrutinizing detail bc I have better things to do #but I have kept an eye on the situation w scout and animal control being called and how it got twisted into ‘doxxing and swatting’ #by high strung ppl who should not have been online #I value my blood pressure too much the urge to just turn off my phone overcomes any desire to look through the drama

[galedekkarios]

is gale actually the worst guy alive or do people just have personal issues that give them a complex whenever someone else is a master of their craft and confident about it 🤔 hmmmmmmm

#im sorry but i literally never found him to be abrasive bc yes an archmage and chosen of mystra and wizard and the designated Lore Dumper #is going to be more knowledgeable than you and that's fine LMAO #and him knowing abt the tadpoles isn't him being an arrogant know it all it's just him letting the character know what's at stake #and also the others given that some of them don't know that or feel pressured to act (see: astarion and wyll) #and re the sorc vs wizard stuff.. again... someone that has to go to school and study the art Is going to #be more learned and well read than someone that doesn't #someone that was an archmage and lover to magic itself and a child prodigy etc etc IS going to #know more like . cope #i just never found him to be horrible or as annoying as people say bc i don't take offense to confidence or prowess or info dumpers? #early access is a different beast. but official release gale? the guy who shares crazy life stories every time? and is trying #to bond with your character every chance he gets? and who doesn't admonish your character if you fail to channel #the weave and instead is a good enthusiastic teacher to your character? who has a reasonable reaction to your character #not taking him seriously and is super appreciative when they do? like. L + skill issue + get over yourself + it's really not tht serious #+ i'm telling tara + i'm also telling morena + smiting you smiting you smiting you smiting you smiting you smi #this dude was mentored by magic itself. he was taught by magic itself. he made love and was ''loved'' by magic itself. he was its chosen. #he was in contact with legendary wizards by the age of eight. he cast a spell using blackstaff. he was conjuring things #as early as a toddler. if his early access prowess is still canon then this dude was able to lift entire buildings #and battle beholders super easily and after the game he rebuilds half the city using his magic. #and so on and so forth like i'm sorry to say but gale really is that bitch and he's not an awful person for Knowing that and trying to #make that known so that he can have a purpose in the group like. hello. for the love of god hello whats not clicking 😭 #and i'm not saying he's a humble precious bean i'm just saying that final release gale can be pompous and puffs himself up #but it's not like there's no merit to what he's saying LMAO #🤦‍♀️ anyway.

[dykedivorce]

if any other bitch in konoha had been gay apart from sasuke none of this would have happened to my son naruto.

#pussy from the turbotron edgelord 3000 and his whole life went up in flame. NOT worth it #no but fr it's insane how he bamboozled every fan into thinking he was so interesting and cool and badass when . #at the point im at in shippuden hes by far the least interesting of the main characters. one track mind (vengeance) and no depth beyond that #like the other characters rn : sakura coming in to her own ; finding her path and her strength + sharing a connection so deep with naruto #over their common loss that they both just Know although they absolutely cant talk about it #yamato: the only survivor of orochimaru's monstrous experiments on children; kakashi's stand in thats so different from kakashi #it makes you wonder what it would have been like with him as their teacher from the start; #a mystery thats clearly trying his best but whose mission truly is A Lot #SAI: A BRAINWASHED SPY A PAWN FOR A SECRET ORGANISATION WHO CLINGS TO HIS HUMANITY NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES HES BEEN PUNISHED FOR IT #WHO FELL IN LOVE WITH NARUTO FOR MAKING HIM REALIZE HOW DEEP THINGS COULD BE FELT AND HOW DEEP RELATIONSHIPS COULD RUN #WHO HAS BEEN DRAWING A BOOK FOR HIS DEAD BROTHER FOR YEARS EVEN IF HE'S FORGOTTEN WHAT HIS BROTHER LOOKS LIKE #WHO DECIDED TO SPARE SASUKE BECAUSE HE'S LOVED. WHO JUST WANTS TO LEARN HOW TO LIVE A HUMAN LIFE. #MOST AUTISTIC CODED CHARACTER OF ALL TIMES HAS NEVER SUCCESSFULLY MASKED A DAY IN HIS LIFE. #sasuke: sasuke #anyway. im not touching on naruto because i could be here for days #BUT while sasuke on his own so far is very whatever. the narusasu dynamic is truly one for the ages #bc i just saw the ep where sasuke manages to see kyuubi inside naruto and wooshes him away and it's very like. #oh so hes literally seeing naruto's demons and banishing them even as hes telling naruto they dont matter to each other anymore. #oh ok cool cool cool cool this feels normal and not something to obsess over #jesus christ why am i typing all this. who here cares #naruto thoughts