looking at the 'midseason trailer' and seeing roman fighting his siblings, roman shitting on gerri, roman working for fascists, roman walking proudly through ATN like logan did just two days prior... it's not surprising, but it is fucking sad.
logan's death will not free roman. instead, it will reforge the chains he's worn all his life, casting them in iron -- that's what roman deserves for thinking, for the first time in his life, that maybe he wants the chains off. that's what roman deserves for killing his father by not loving him enough, by not loving him correctly or at the right times. logan's death will not free roman at all. if anything, it will imprison him.
(as always, this got very long, so keep reading under the cut!)
this was the worst case scenario for roman. not just logan dying, but the exact way everything played out. he betrayed his siblings, he fired gerri -- for nothing. he could have been on the plane with his father in his last moments -- he refused. his last interaction with his father was leaving logan a voice message that called him a cunt -- the first time roman has ever, ever, questioned or stood up to his father, and also the last. we don't know what killed logan. we probably never will. but god if it won't feel awfully coincidental to roman: the one time he fought back against his father or even showed the slightest hint of doing so, his father died. is it likely that logan heard roman's voice memo and keeled over because he called him a cunt? no. but is it just as possible as anything else? entirely. roman might have killed his dad. roman murdered logan when he could've been on the plane with him holding his hand, if he were a good son. he didn't even tell logan he loved him. not that he needed to, it fucking oozed from his every pore and the desperate nature of that love was one of the reasons logan could never quite stand him -- but that's not the point. roman's one attempt at agency, at setting boundaries, at standing up for himself killed his fucking father.
logan dying would never have been good for roman, at least in his current state, no matter how the actual death came to pass. people often talk about abusive relationships as if the end-all-be-all fixer to abuse is independence, and it's not. independence isn't always enough to heal, especially not when it's forced upon you rather than something you choose. this is especially true for roman, i think. what roman needed was not just to gain his own independence, but to realize that independence and love are not mutually exclusive, that gaining one does not mean losing the other. logan's always hammered in roman's weakness, his wrongness; roman was never someone who deserved to be loved on his own terms. roman's never considered himself to be someone with agency and authority in his relationships -- he's been told over and over again that he isn't a real person, that there's something deeply wrong and unfixable in him, and he believes it. he's never set boundaries with his father or even his siblings because i don't think he really realizes he has the power to do that. he's simply there until people decide they no longer have use for him or want him around, and he'll always come crawling back after a kick because he doesn't realize he's not on a leash -- that he doesn't need to be on a leash. independence has been unreachable all his life, he isn't normal or real enough to be a real normal independent capable person, but if he grovels and shows his use enough, then maybe he can be loved. but his dependence and loyalty is all he's good for. independence means no love, no family, no relationships. and roman desperately wants, needs, those relationships in a way that none of the other characters do (or at least can admit to) -- he wants his father in his life, no matter what; he wants his siblings in his life, no matter what. but independence, being his own person, separating himself from logan's side means he'd lose everything else, everyone else. he's not good for anything anyways. it's not like he has other options.
...until the start of season four. that's why this is all so tragic -- more than anyone else, it seemed like roman was on the road to healing. it seemed like he was finally realizing that independence and love might not be as mutually exclusive as he's been made to think: maybe he could be independent while still having a relationship with his siblings and even his father. maybe he could have his cake and eat it too. he's realized that he's capable, that he has his own worth, and that he can be successful without living under logan's thumb -- and, more importantly, could still text him on his birthday and try to rebuild a relationship, this time outside of business. outside of "that room" in waystar royco. an actual fucking family relationship. that's what escaping the cycle would look like for roman — not complete separation, not a metaphorical killing of his father, but the ability to live alongside him, to have a life outside of him, to love his father without living for him. so simply removing logan from the equation wouldn’t help roman, not when what he needs most is to realize that self-respect is not mutually exclusive with love, that being your own person isn’t a betrayal, that family and love aren’t dependent on how low you can kneel and won’t be whisked away the moment you stand up. and for the first time in his life, it seemed like he was on track to discovering this. maybe he and the siblings could have the hundred, logan could keep going with atn, and in a few years down the line they'd all get together to talk shop and joke around and coexist -- for the first time, he had started to think of himself as enough of a real, okay person to be allowed to coexist with his family, rather than naturally subordinating himself in every interaction.
roman could’ve been his own person, could’ve escaped the cycle, could’ve started a business with his siblings and tried to heal, but now he won’t. he can’t. roman can’t become his own person now, not when his first attempt to do so is exactly what killed logan. it’s his fault. he fucked up and now there’s no dad. he gained his independence, but at what cost? love. that’s the cost. it always has been and always will be. nothing could be more detrimental to roman roy than the exact series of events that occurred in this episode, because just as he started to see a world beyond his father, logan dies -- proving once and for all that the only world beyond logan is one without him in it at all. that’s been roman’s fear all along and why he’s stuck so close to his side: roman loves and loves and loves and is terrified, terrified, of death. of loss. but in a moment of 'weakness,' roman wobbled (he tried to stand up to logan rather than just taking the kicks as he's supposed to, as he always has), and his father paid the ultimate price. there’s no more dad. there’s no reviving him.
…unless, of course, there is. unless roman can undo his error by choosing his father again, and again, and again. becoming logan is the closest roman can get to resurrecting him, after all. and besides, doesn’t he owe it to dad after killing him? after calling him a cunt, choosing not to be with him on that plane he ended up dying on? after forgetting to even say “i love you dad” before the end? roman needs to fix things. needs to make it like dad's still here. needs to make it like he didn't kill his own father by refusing him for the first time in his life. so roman will be the firebreather logan wanted -- he'll do ATN, he'll push for mencken, he'll do whatever it fucking takes to try and make things right. if it's his fault logan's no longer here, then he needs to do everything he possibly can to fulfill his dying wishes, to do what logan would've done, were he alive.
"dad can't die, he's dad." he can't ever die. he's immortal, and his immortality was solidified by the circumstances of his death -- logan will not die. he’ll live on in roman, as roman.
roman will make sure of it.
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potential authors that may appear in bsd
Arthur Conan Doyle- wrote sherlock holmes, definitely getting into the DETECTIVE manga (maybe apart of the clocktower?, he was also famously gullible in contrast to his work, was friends with harry houdini and genuinely believed he was a wizard even though houdini repeatedly showed how his tricks worked, was also tricked by the first case of photo-editing by two little girls, prime joke material), THEORY TIME: he's going to have the actual 'super deduction' ability and will make ranpo face once and for that he's a normal person but ranpo will be able to out deduce him thus disproving that normal people can't defeat ability users
Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu- carmilla (the lesbian vampire story that predated bram stoker's dracula by 26 YEARS CARMILLA SHOULD HAVE BEEN FIRST, he could show up with a possible cure to the vampire curse in the current arc?, maybe he or carmilla was even the one to bite and turn stoker)
Lewis Carrol- wrote alice's adventures in wonderland
jrr tolkien- wrote the hobbit and lord of the rings
Hans Christian Andersen- wrote the little mermaid and the snow queen
The Grimm brothers- wrote most famous fairytales
Johnston McCulley- wrote zorro (may appear as part of a phantom theives guild in a more lighthearted arc after this one before jumping back into the main story?)
Marice Leblanc- wrote arsene lupine (had a crossover with edogawa ranpo's kogoro akechi lmao ty p5 knowledge AND sherlock holmes, a near guaranteed shoe-in, also part of that phantom theives guild with a potential past involving both doyle and ranpo)
Prosper Mérimée (?)- in the same vein of p5 references, the thief woman in prison may have actually been carmen from the opera carmen by prosper mérimée (soon to be thieves guild member?)
Robert Louis Stevenson- wrote the strange case of dr jerkyll and mr hyde and treasure island (thieves guild member, possible split personality a la jerkyll/hyde, blackbeard and william kid references incoming)
Alexandre Dumas- the three musketeers, the count of monte cristo (also thieves guild member)
Gaston Leroux- phantom of the opera (possible thieves guild member off work only)
toni morrison- we are in DESPARATE NEED of black writers, although maybe not since she only recently passed, wrote beloved and the bluest eye
zora neale hurston- their eyes were watching god
hughs langston- famous poet
richard wright- black boy, native son
Harriet Beecher Stowe- uncle tom's cabin
harper lee- to kill a mockingbird
robert frost- famous poet, wrote the road not taken
emiliy dickinson- famous poet
ernest hemmingway- famous poet (if his ability is for whom the bell tolls we're fucked)
jane austen- pride and prejudice (would probably get along with margaret and Nathaniel)
the brontë sisters- jane eyre, wuthering heights (would get along with jane, margaret, and Nathaniel)
george orwell- 1984 and animal farm
william golding- the lord of the flies
Joseph hellar- catch-22 (his power would be hell, a literal catch-22)
ralph ellison- the invisible man (ability is obvious, thieves guild member, maybe a conflict with tanizaki considering the similar abilities?)
oscar wilde- the picture of dorian gray (this man was a great big bisexual SLUT in life i want him to be the same in bsd)
virginia woolf- to the lighthouse (maybe will reference who's afraid of virginia woolf?)
c. s. lewis- the chronicles of narnia (personally knew jrr tolkien, famously at odds over Christmas, prime joke material)
charles dickens- a Christmas carol, oliver twist, a tale of two cities, and great expectations
arthur miller- the crucible (maybe his ability makes people distrust others?)
Johnathan swift- Gulliver's travels (teleporting ability definitely, new fast travel plot device although maybe not as it could conflict with Gogol's ability)
Vladimir Nabokov- lolita, pale fire (on second thought i don't want him in here i can only IMAGINE how that would turn out, if he shows up he and mori would either get along or HATE each other)
Leo Tolstoy- war and peace (we already know fyodor is surviving this we still don't know what crime and punishment does CAN YOU IMAGINE HIM AND FYODOR TOGETHER HELLWORLDHELLWORLDHELLWORLD) THEORY TIME AGAIN: his power is one that specifically targets only ability users and makes them slowly start acting in either anger or complete affability until everyone is at war or peace, he would be the perfect compliment to fyodor if crime and punishment kills people who believe they're guilty literally the perfect storm of abilities, the absolute worst case scenario powers we're looking at a dark soukoku here
franz kafka- metamorphosis (he's gonna turn into a bug, isn't he)
Harlan Ellison- i have no mouth and i must scream (the horror related ability to replace lovecraft without being horrifically broken)
authors that i desparately want to show up but probably won't bc they didn't write in the 1800-1900s range that asagiri likes, are still alive, or are not globally recognizable enough
homer- the illiad and oddessy (i hope he starts his ability by making an invocation to the muses)
sappho (LESBIANS RISE UP)
virgil- the aeniad
dante- the divine comedy (virgil is a character in divine comedy like how bsd includes authors of other works, prime joke material)
john milton- paradise lost
Gilgamesh or Enkidu- we don't know who wrote the epic of Gilgamesh so the characters themselves could appear
margret atwood- oryx and crake, cat's eye (potentially another animal shapeshifting power, atsushi's gonna have a little cat colony gang at this rate)
neil gaiman- american gods, the sandman ('american gods sounds like a broken ability)
ursula k. guin- earthsea series
stan lee- i know he wrote comics not long form literature but i think the father of american comics and the superhero genre deserves to be recognized in the superhero/mafia/detective noir manga; plus japanese manga was heavily influenced by american comics after wwii, we would literally not be reading bsd in the same state today without stan lee
stephen king- no explanation needed, PLEASE LET HIM MEET LOVECRAFT KING IS A GIANT FAN OF LOVECRAFT I THINK HE SHOULD GET TO MEET HIS IDOL
r. l. stein- goosebumps, if literally NONE of these authors make it in PLEASE AT LEAST LET RL STEIN GET IN AND LET HIM MEET LOVECRAFT PLEASE GOOSEBUMPS DESERVES SO MUCH LOVE AND PLEASE GOD LET HIS POWER BE THAT FUCKING PUPPET I WANT TO SLAPPY TO BE ABSOLUTELY USELESS AND JUST EXIST TO TORMENT STEIN
chuck tingle- pounded in the butt series guy, he should be the god of the bsd universe this is not a joke
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