#literally just Nine Hours ago i was getting butterflies at the Thought of talking to this kid
Part Ten aka the final part of Not-So-Secret Secret Admirer!!!!!!!!!! Part One. Part Nine. AO3 Link.
Eddie feels... lighter. He still avoids Family Video like the plague and is suffering from intense amounts of guilt, but he feels like maybe things are getting better. He hasn’t heard from Steve since the Family Video incident, but he tries not to dwell too much on it.
He ends up dwelling on it a lot. So much so, that he almost misses his phone ringing.
With a sigh, he makes his way over to it, trying not to get too in his head about the Steve stuff.
“Hello?” he answers, trying not to let the worry seep into his tone.
“Eddie.”
Steve.
“Hi,” Eddie replies breathlessly because he doesn’t know what else to say. His heart races as he wonders if it’s his turn for a lecture and is about to get chewed out over the phone. Honestly, he deserves every bit of it.
“Hey, uh,” Steve clears his throat and almost sounds... nervous? “I’ve decided to go through with the movie night tonight.”
“It’s Friday already?” Eddie voices his thoughts.
Steve chuckles on the other line, “Yeah.”
“Yeah,” Eddie repeats back even though he’s not entirely sure why. A silence passes between the two, but Eddie doesn’t know how to fill it.
“Well, I just wanted you to know that it would be cool if you were there.”
Eddie can’t help but confirm, “It would be cool?”
“Or metal as you like to say, but yeah,” Steve answers, and Eddie can hear the smile in his tone.
“I-I’ll be there,” Eddie confirms then groans, “I guess I have to give all the little gremlins a ride anyways.”
Steve laughs and butterflies flutter in Eddie’s stomach. How did he not realize his crush sooner?
A silence settles between them, and Steve clears his throat again, “Hey, Eddie I just wanted you to know-”
A loud knock on Eddie’s door has him nearly dropping the phone and cursing. “Just a minute!” he yells out and puts the phone back to his ear.
“Everything okay?” Steve asks.
“Yeah just,” Eddie stops as the knocking continues.
There’s a laugh on the other line, and Steve says, “I’ll let you get that. Um, see you later... alligator.”
Eddie laughs and hears Steve curse lightly as he hangs up.
There’s still knocking on the door and Eddie rushes over to fling it open. Max stands on the other side. “I thought you died or something. Anyways, we need-”
“A ride. I know.”
Max smirks at him. “So, mine and El’s plan worked?”
Eddie scoffs, “I wouldn’t go that far, Red. But... thank you.” And although it was outlandish and El literally had to use her powers, Eddie sincerely means it. Somehow their dumb plan that was probably made during those seconds of them whispering in the back of his van got through to Steve.
Max waves him off and mutters, “Gross.” But the smile she tries and fails to hide betrays her words.
She turns to leave, but Eddie realizes he has no idea what time the movie night is at and asks. He earns an eye roll and a quick response of, “Six.”
He can’t help but feel relieved that it isn’t at eight.
-:-:-:-:-:-
A few hours later, Eddie finds himself in his van filled with loud teenagers. They all seem to be buzzing with excitement over whatever movie Steve got for them, and it’s a nice change from their last ride.
Luckily, none of them bother asking him about the Steve situation which surprises him. Maybe Steve’s talk had stuck with them.
As he approaches Steve’s home, he takes a deep breath and has to remind himself that he was invited. Steve wants him here.
He gets out of the van without any coercing from the kids – namely Max and El – but stays behind them all in case Steve changes his mind. But then he opens his door with that bright smile and looks so much happier than he did only days ago and waves them all inside.
Eddie slowly makes his way through the doorway when Steve stops him with a hand on his chest just as he feared. He nearly turns to leave when Steve leans in and says, “I’m really glad you came.” At first, he’s scared that maybe this is all a trap with how kind Steve is being to him, but his tone and smile are sincere. He even catches the glint of his ring that he’s wearing proudly on his hand.
Eddie just nods in response, too afraid to say anything that might mess up this newfound peace.
He walks inside and notices a distinct lack of other adults – even Robin. “Robin had plans with Nancy tonight,” Steve explains somehow reading his thoughts. Then, his eyes settle on the coffee table in the living room flooded with snacks and pizza. “And that,” Steve continues, “Is the money all the kids put into the bet.”
Eddie slightly smiles but still feels so entirely confused as he’s thrown into the deep end of Steve’s friendliness and openness after being in the shallow end for so long. Steve ends up excusing himself to make popcorn, and Eddie finds himself going over to the couch to settle in for the night. He grabs a slice of pizza and tries to push down the feeling that he doesn’t deserve to be there.
The kids make themselves at home as they dig into the food and chat loudly while Dustin puts in whatever move they’re watching. Steve comes back in with a few bowls of popcorn carefully balanced in his arms which he hands out amongst the group before settling next to Eddie on the couch with one bowl. “Mind if we share?”
Eddie shakes his head and tries not to feel so thankful when Dustin turns the lights off so Steve can’t see how shaky his hands are as he grabs a handful of popcorn. He tries not be so tense, but Steve’s thigh is pressing right against his, and when Steve sat down, he must’ve rested his arm on the back of the couch because his hand is now grazing his shoulder and-
Eddie risks a glance to his left and takes in Steve’s features softly lit by the tv. It’s all too much.
Eddie excuses himself and rushes out the back door and sits in one of the poolside chairs. He sighs and puts his head in his hands. Why can’t he just move on like everyone else? He guesses they’ve had practice with their multiple encounters with the Upside Down stuff. But he hasn’t.
The sound of the backdoor opening and closing startles Eddie out of his thoughts as he glances up to see Steve slowly make his way toward him. He sits down on the same chair but keeps his distance. “You okay?”
Eddie glances at him and shakes his head.
Steve nods in response and runs a hand through his hair. “Want to talk about it?”
For some reason, that opens the floodgates. “I’m just really really sorry for what I did, and I know that it was horrible, and I put you through so much, but it’s like all of it has suddenly gone away. And I don’t get it, man. Really, if someone did this to me, I probably would’ve run halfway across the country by now to avoid them. And honestly, I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop and for you to go back to hating me again. I think that was somehow easier than just pretending like none of this happened. Of course, I don’t want you to hate me I just... I don’t know. I just feel like there was no real resolution on our end, and I don’t know where we stand. Maybe. I don’t know.” Eddie finishes with a shrug and tries not to scold himself for talking too much like he always does.
“I never hated you,” Steve replies after a few seconds have passed. “But yeah, you’re right. I’ve talked to Robin and the kids, but I haven't really talked to you.”
Eddie nods and fidgets with his rings. He doesn’t know what to say.
Luckily, Steve talks instead, “I was hurt at first, but you know that after our last real conversation from that night. But I was honest when I said I just needed space. I needed time to figure things out and not make any decisions when I was feeling so... so heartbroken. But then Robin was just always there trying to defend you and what happened. She eventually opened up about how you were the one who wanted to stop things but she pushed you to continue. She even explained the whole thought process behind her trying to end it with that stupid date.”
Steve takes a moment to breathe and look back at Eddie. “I was still hurt that the first part had been fake, but I just... slowly had to trust that things between you and me or between me and E.R. slowly became real. And when I got your notes and gifts after I just knew I couldn't cut you out forever. And hell, I missed you, too. I missed everyone really. So, I slowly started talking to Robin again, which let me tell you, not speaking when you’re next to each other for eight hours at a time is really awkward. But it was still a process. And I knew I wanted to talk to you, but when your gifts stopped, I thought maybe you needed space, too. But then the kids showed up and-”
“Wait,” Eddie interrupts and scrambles to apologize, “Sorry, really, I don’t mean to interrupt but... what do you mean you thought I needed space after the gifts stopped?”
Steve shrugs and starts fiddling his ring which is honestly quite endearing but not what Eddie needs to be focusing on at the moment. “They just stopped so suddenly that I thought maybe the whole thing about me thinking it was too much was you projecting about it being too much for you, especially after our talk.”
“But Robin said that you said it was too much...” Eddie trails off as he thinks. Robin who Steve had barely talked to for weeks including during the time Eddie had dropped off the gifts.
He makes eye contact with Steve who based on his expression has come to the exact same conclusion. He groans and says, “I really wish I would’ve had the whole ‘no meddling in my love life’ talk with her sooner.”
“She was just looking out for you,” Eddie reasons.
“Yeah, because that worked out so well last time,” Steve says with a smile.
And for some reason, Eddie starts laughing. It’s all so stupid. The plan, his impulsiveness, everyone else’s involvement. He starts laughing more, not sure why it’s all so funny to him, but then Steve starts laughing as well, and it’s like nothing has ever been funnier to either of them.
“I’m so stupid,” Eddie laughs as he feels a tear escape down his cheek. “God, I’m so stupid.” Another tear escapes, and Eddie can’t tell if he’s laughing or crying anymore. He hiccups as laughter and tears escape him and he explains, “Sorry, it’s just all these emotions from these past few weeks are hitting me.”
Steve’s laughter dies down, and that’s when Eddie notices that his has died down as well. He chokes out, “I’m so sorry, Steve.”
Steve scoots closer and opens his arms to Eddie. “I know, Eddie, and I forgive you.”
And it suddenly hits Eddie that that’s what he’s needed but didn’t ever expect to hear. He latches onto Steve and cries into his shoulder apologizing as Steve pulls him in tighter and whispers, “It’s okay. I’ve got you.”
The tears eventually die down and Eddie is able to focus on his breathing and getting himself back together. “It’s stupid,” Steve says still holding onto Eddie, “But the whole thing about Dustin’s leg really made things click with why you did it. Especially if I was a fraction as annoying as he was. But I’ve gotta let you in on a secret on why I was complaining so much.”
Eddie pulls away and uses his shirt to wipe the tears and snot – gross – off his face before facing Steve who confesses, “I was hoping that someone would take the hint and maybe suggest that they could fix that issue for me.” He bumps his shoulder against Eddie’s.
There’s no way. Eddie lightly socks Steve on the arm. “Hey-!”
“You could’ve told me!”
“Yeah, but right as I was getting up the courage, I got a secret admirer that kind of distracted me a bit.”
Eddie groans and lays back in the chair. “I have such horrible timing.”
“A bit,” Steve says with a laugh and a silence hangs between them.
Eddie almost makes a dumb joke about how they’ve probably missed a good chunk of the movie when Steve says, “I have to ask about one thing.”
The serious tone has Eddie sitting up and humming in response. He watches as Steve fidgets his ring, scratches his cheek, runs a hand through his hair, and does a multitude of his nervous ticks that has Eddie trying to fight the urge to hide behind his hair or fidget with his own rings.
Suddenly, Steve just stops and looks at Eddie all earnestly and nervously before he asks, “Do you still... like me?”
Eddie’s heart stops beating but then starts pounding so hard that he thinks Steve must hear it too. He nods slowly and confesses, “Steve, I think I’ve loved you since you bit that damn bat’s head off. It somehow just took my brain a lot longer to catch up with what those feelings were. But yeah, I still like you. I don’t think I could ever stop.”
Steve gently smiles and looks down at his ring. “You know, when I thought we had lost you, that was one of the worst feelings I ever felt. And I knew that I could never lose you again.”
A breathy laugh is punched out of Eddie at the admission because he’s always felt the same way. “I could never lose you, either.”
Steve looks at him with that look that feels like it’s only reserved for Eddie as he says, “And I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop loving you – no matter the stupid shit that you do. So, if we already agree that we’re never losing each other and we both love each other...”
Eddie can hardly believe what he’s hearing but he can’t help but protest, “Steve, please stop making this sound like a business deal.”
Steve laughs loudly, almost surprised by the comment, but he recovers and asks, “Would you seal the deal with a kiss?”
Eddie stares at Steve for a moment and is baffled by everything he is and everything he’s gone through that has somehow led him here, asking to be with Eddie. “I don’t deserve you,” Eddie says and continues, “Especially after everything I put you through.”
Eddie jumps as the back door slams open and Dustin yells out, “You realize you turning him down is only going to put him through more shit, so just kiss already!”
There are some yells of agreement from behind Dustin that Eddie doesn’t even want to think about. How long have they been eavesdropping?
“What did I say about interfering with my love life?” Steve yells back, and Dustin just smiles wide and waves as he closes the backdoor.
Eddie takes in what he says as Steve mutters under his breath about those damn kids. “This is the only time I’m glad they’ve interfered,” Eddie comments as he builds up the courage to lean in and finally kiss Steve.
And, hell, if only he knew he could’ve done this so much sooner.
Steve somehow pulls him in closer but pulls away to say, “I’m still going to murder them.”
Eddie nods in agreement before he kisses Steve again. He pulls away and rushes to say, “Just to clarify, we’re dating now, right?”
Steve huffs and answers, “Actually, I’m waiting on if my secret admirer E.R. ever reveals their true identity.”
Eddie’s jaw drops, but he leans in and whispers, “Did you know that it’s actually me?”
Steve fakes his surprise as he gasps and pretends to faint. Eddie easily catches him and pulls him back into a kiss.
Eddie thinks that this not-so-secret secret admirer plot has to be the dumbest yet smartest (but still mostly dumbest) thing he’s ever done.
Tag list who I thank for sticking around for this journey. Sincerely, thank you:
@wrenisflying @gobbledy-gluk-gluk @swimmingbirdrunningrock @ghostlyjax @wheatnoodle @yet-still-more-banched @moonshadows-13 @princessstevemunson @adankrivervalleynearyou @manda-panda-monium @brassreign @bornonthesavage @unclewaynemunson @bird-with-pencils @themardlonk @fangirltofangod @csinnamon-fox @mightbeasleep @theysherobinbuckley
@writtenbyancientskeletonhats @nagitoeatsnillacharms73 @duckyreads @hellykelly @glittergluekintsugi @rainydays35 @thatonespacek1d @frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe @paperbackribs @anaibis @adaydreamaway08 @steviesbicrisis @madaboutmunson2 @goose-on-the-loose @dangdirtydemons @whimsicalwitchm @aftermidnightwriting @toasted-ghosty @queerbeansworld @aryakanojiaa @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @queerriotgrrrl @iwouldsail @hellomynameismoo @r0semaryyy @hopefulcookieoperatorpersona @pomegranatebb @piningapple @love-kurdt @wallpaper-inside-my-heart @eddiesbabe95 @isaacisunsure @adankrivervalleynearyou @sleepdeprivedflower @gay-little-bitch @ely-seum @tillystealeaves @yes-im-your-mom @ceaselessly-watching @evix-syne666 @sweetharmonychilde @myhorseis-regularsized @homosexual-having-tea @anything-thats-rock-and-roll @henderdads
@spectrum-spectre @phantypurple @britishmysteries @mad-h-w @marivictal @gamerdano @cutiecusp @staninggaycouples @doctorqueensanatomy @virgil-is-a-cutie @sleepy-time @adankrivervalleynearyou @satan-is-obsessed @novelnovella @lottaweirdnameshere @bidisastersworld @justreadingabooksstuff @me-1-2 @shinekocreator @e-dollly @thelittleclare @ajeff855 @estrellami-1 @haluton @hoffmannwrites
@thehumblefigtree @eddiemunsonswife @otterology @precursorandthedragon @th1gh-s @ironydude @space-invading-pigeon @sofadofax @sunfloweringstories @swingset-sunset @eddiemunsonsupremecy @danni-phant0m
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🥺 that mike lange story. But also those tags #sid loooves christmas #he loves giving presents #looks good in red #piles on the pounds fast #post hockey career as santa 😂😂👌🏽👌🏽
he loves his mementos and presents and is COMMITTED to them. scrapbooking. matching jackets. little pills with hidden motivational messages~*~ his love language is gifts and neck smooches and stalking geno. relevant right now are some anecdotes i sent a friend earlier this year for dorky sid gifts fic fodder:
1. Crosby's constant thoughtfulness would be impressive from anyone, much less someone of his stature.
"Sid always texts me happy birthday, he's always asking me like, how's Russia?" Evgeni Malkin said. "We talk and message all summer. He asks me how my skates are. He knows, like, everything. He follows my Instagram, I think (laughs)."
In addition to having a handle on those little details, Crosby is constantly providing those around him with memories and mementos. If the team is on the road and goes, say, sightseeing or to a sporting event and takes a group photo, Crosby will later send a framed copy to everyone.
When Ron Hextall and Brian Burke watched their first Penguins game in person, Crosby is the one who approached head equipment manager Dana Heinze and asked for two used game pucks to give to the new GM and president of hockey ops.
After the Penguins won in 2009, Crosby had jackets made for the three players on the team who had scored a Cup-clinching goal in Game 7: Talbot (Pittsburgh), Ruslan Fedotenko (Tampa Bay) and Mike Rupp (New Jersey).
"They were blue jackets with gold buttons, and each one had a patch on it that said 'GWG Game 7,'" Talbot said. "At one of our first team meals the next season, he presented us with the jackets and did a big ceremony with the music and stuff. We had a private room in the restaurant. I still have the jacket."
-The Consummate Teammate, Captain and Ambassador, Feb 2021
2. Merz: My first interaction with Sid was when we were on the bench, guys were talking about a teammate, and the first thing this 15-year-old says is, “Hey, guys. Let’s keep everything positive. Don’t talk about your teammates that way.”
Salcido: When we were getting ready for nationals, he found these little pills that you could put a hidden message inside. They unscrewed, and inside was a tiny scroll. He gave one to every teammate. … He had everyone fill one out. He didn’t tell anyone what to write, but he made it known that we all knew what the goal was: winning nationals. So we wrote on our scrolls, rolled them up and put them in the pill thing. We kept them with us everywhere we went.
-‘Is this real?’: Stories of Sidney Crosby’s year at a Minnesota prep school, May 2020
3. On “Butterfly Boy” Jonathan Pitre:
Though the Senators are his team, Sidney Crosby has always been Jonny’s favourite player. After the TSN documentary airs, Tina gets a call from the Penguins. Sid needs Jonny’s measurements. He wants to have a suit made for him by his personal tailor, Domenico Vacca.
“It’s the kindest, sweetest gesture,” Tina says. “Sid heard that Jonny went to a lot of games, so he wants him to look like he’s one of the guys.”
“I want him to feel like a pro,” Crosby says. “Here’s a guy who is going through something so painful, and his first thought is always, ‘How can I help others?’ When I was young, I’d watch on TV the players coming to the rink in their suits. That was a cool part of being an NHL player. I want him to feel that, to make it as real as possible for him.”
Tina tries to discreetly measure Jonny while she’s changing his dressings. But he’s way too smart for that.
“Um, Mom, why are you measuring me? Am I going for surgery again?” he asks.
“No, no!” Tina replies, trying to reassure him and come up with a good lie, all in the same breath. “The doctor needs them just to make sure they have proper dressings next time you are in.”
A few weeks later, the sharp navy blue suit shows up at their front door, along with a couple of ties, an autographed stick and a handwritten letter from Sid.
“His eyes just light up,” Tina says. “Jonny always liked to be well-dressed, and he just loves having his own suit. It fits perfectly. He looks so good in it.”
-Beauties by James Duthie (2020)
4. Pascal Dupuis inspired his Pittsburgh Penguins teammates on their run to the Stanley Cup, and Sidney Crosby found a special way of driving that message home.
Dupuis retired in December with lingering health concerns because of blood clots. Despite his NHL playing days coming to an end, the veteran forward remained an integral part of the Penguins and was in uniform to hoist the Cup after Pittsburgh's six-game win against the San Jose Sharks in the Stanley Cup Final.
On Sunday, Dupuis brought the Cup home one last time as a player to share a special day with his family, friends and hometown fans.
"Yes, it does feel bittersweet a little bit," Dupuis said. "You get the Cup, you want to celebrate. But at the same time I got a gift by the mail [Saturday]. Basically, it's a book of all the pictures of all the good stuff we went through. It came from Nova Scotia, so you guys can figure out who it came from (Crosby), but he couldn't give it to me during the season, he saw me skating a little bit.
"And he sent it [Saturday], before my day with the Cup, so he knew what he was doing to get me right here," Dupuis said, putting his fist over his heart.
-Pascal Dupuis shares Stanley Cup with family, friends, Aug 2016
5. In 2011, Crosby was out of the lineup with a concussion, and the Penguins made their annual visit to Children’s Hospital.
Crosby got along so well with one boy there and was so touched that he later asked Bullano to go back... just the two of them, no cameras, no attention.
When Bullano and Crosby met for the follow-up visit, Crosby appeared clutching a pair of Toys “R” Us bags, filled with a Transformer toy the two had discussed.
“He literally bought every type of this toy they make,” Bullano said. “[Crosby] had never seen it before and thought it was so cool.
“There are no pictures of this. There’s no video. He was laying in the bed with the kid. They were just playing. We were there for over two hours. I got to know the mom really well because we were just sitting there.
“The kid had no idea. Didn’t expect it. They had no idea he was coming. We got there and he said, ‘Hey buddy. hope you don’t mind that I came back.’ The kid couldn’t believe it.
“[Crosby’s] crazy cool about stuff like that.”
What’s crazy is trying to recount the many times stuff like this has happened with Crosby:
• The Little Penguins Learn to Play program has been around for nine seasons, outfitting now 1,200 kids with free head-to-toe hockey equipment. Not only does Crosby serve as the face of the program — which the NHL has now adopted — but he helps fund it, too.
“There’s an awareness of what a person in his position can bring,” Penguins vice president of communications Tom McMillan said. “I think he activates that as much as anybody I’ve seen during his playing career.”
• After a recent practice, Crosby noticed a local family in the Penguins dressing room, approached them, introduced himself, learned their story and wound up giving them a signed stick.
Nobody asked Crosby to do that, and he wanted zero credit when discussing it a couple days later.
“For people who have the opportunity to come in here, people dealing with certain things, if you can brighten their day a bit or spend some time with them, it’s something that’s special for all of us,” Crosby said.
• A few years ago, through a team charity event, Crosby befriended a 4-year-old Amish boy with cancer. Crosby remarked to Bullano how much he loved talking to the boy because of how engaging the boy was and how he wasn’t consumed with technology. Crosby even tried to visit the boy but learned he had passed away.
• He learns the first and last names of the kids who attend his hockey school in Cole Harbour, Nova Scotia.
“Two kids came from Japan its first year,” Bullano recalled. “He was so blown away by that. He couldn’t wait to meet them.”
• Earlier this season, the Penguins welcomed Grant Chupinka, 24-year-old cancer patient, into the dressing room. Crosby chatted up Grant and his parents, Steve and Kim.
He spent his usual time — about two or three times the requirement. Gave the tour. Then found out the Chupinkas didn’t have tickets for that night’s game and decided he would pay for them to go.
“I’m sure he could just give them an autographed puck or something, but he takes his time to go out and see them and talk to them and get to know them,” Brian Dumoulin said. “It speaks volumes for him and who he is as a person.”
Spend any length of time with Crosby during his visits with those less fortunate, and a few things become obvious.
One, Crosby is really good at these. Smooth but not in a slimy way. Sweet. You know how when you’re around someone talking and they go out of their way to make eye contact with everyone around? That’s Crosby.
He’s also humble, always introducing himself like those he’s meeting don’t already know. Holding a hand is no issue. And Crosby is the rare 20-something pro athlete without kids who acts every bit like he does.
“It is not an easy situation to talk to someone with terminal cancer,” McMillan said. “A lot of people couldn’t do that. He has an amazing ability to do that and make that person feel good.”
Crosby has welcomed several Make-a-Wish kids and tries, if at all possible, to schedule such events for practice days — to maximize the time he’s able to spend.
He’s developed a special friendship with Patrick McIlvain, a soldier who nearly died when he took a bullet to the head in Afghanistan. McIlvain actually does physical therapy with one of Crosby’s sticks.
A former club hockey player at Cal U, McIlvain comes by every year, and the Penguins don’t even bother to tell Crosby. Either he already knows or immediately stops what he’s doing to come say hello.
“He’s not doing it to leave a legacy,” said Terry Kalna, Penguins vice president of sales and broadcasting. “His numbers leave the legacy. He’s just a down-to-Earth, good guy.”
Before a visit, Crosby has Bullano email him what is essentially a scouting report on who he’s going to meet. He likes to learn about them, their situation and what they’ve been through. As much information as he can ingest. Crosby never just swoops in, shake a hand and leave.
“As much as anyone has ever seen, he accepts the responsibilities of being not just a professional athlete but a star professional athlete,” McMillan said. “He views it as part of the job. Like coming to the morning skate. That’s just what you do.”
Put another way, “he owns those moments,” says Kalna.
Said Bullano, “He’s just a good human being.”
-When it comes to giving, Sidney Crosby does as much as he can, Feb 2017
6. When Crosby received a generous signing bonus on his Reebok deal, he wanted to share it with everyone.
“He gave everyone on the bus gifts,” says Oceanic radio commentator Michel Germain. “Him sharing his bonus with all the people he’d been travelling with for two years, that impresses me greatly. I think the most important thing about Sidney Crosby is his personality and the kind of human being he is. What he exuded. The inner richness he’d already developed.”
-Superstitious and generous, Dec 2006
7. also this simply because it makes me ;w;
Even in defeat — no, especially in defeat — Sidney Crosby proved why he wears the "C" for the Penguins.
After the game, with his heart sinking and his season over, the Penguins’ captain bent over, sank to the ice to pick up the puck, took it to linesman Tony Sericolo and then skated to his team’s handshake line.
I immediately thought of a View from Ice Level I’d written on Crosby making sure a retiring official was sent away from PPG Paints Arena properly. I knew picking up the puck wasn’t for the same reason that was, but I also knew, in some way, it was connected to Crosby’s awareness and respect of the game.
“It was for the Islanders,” Crosby told me after the game, his eyes swollen from a first round exit – by way of a sweep to make it worse. He told me how the winning team always wanted the puck, and it was his way of providing it for the Islanders.
Crosby looked me right in the eye as he told me this, just as he did with every other member of the media to come to him after the loss.
I could tell from those swollen eyes and the way he sat at his stall, by himself with his hands folded as he stared blankly, that Sidney Crosby is much more used to being on the receiving end of a puck when a series ends than he is at retrieving it for the winning team.
That scene. His swollen eyes. Staying in the locker room until most had left – talking to anyone who needed him. Most of all, though, picking up the puck that prompted my question in the first place and making sure the right people got their piece of their own history.
It all adds up to one thing: In victory and in defeat, Crosby respects the game above all else – just as he’s always done.
-Even in defeat, Crosby shines, April 2019
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worth the wait [five] // daisy johnson
summary: the longer Daisy spends with you, the more you realise that maybe nine years isn't enough time to get over her.
warning/s: mentions of PTSD.
author's note: this is the final part, but it was a little long so i’ve put it into two posts. hopefully the daisy stans appreciated it 😊
part one | part two | part three | part four | part six | masterlist | wattpad
I woke with a start, immediately feeling my hair sticking to the nape of my neck and the need to shake off my duvet.
The fear of my nightmare still implanted in the pit of my stomach made me reach for my bedside lamp. I half expected someone to grab my hand in the dark, my imagination working overtime to scare the living hell out of me, but nothing happened except for the lamp turning on.
I sat up in bed and took a few deep breaths, trying to calm my racing heart. It was just a dream, nothing real. And I knew that, logically, since I was in my childhood bedroom instead of a dark torture chamber. Yet I couldn't stop crying and imagining the worst.
It was getting worse – the nightmares, the anxiety, the nausea. Ever since Daisy and my mum had told me to see a therapist, I knew it was getting worse, but I still hadn't done anything about it. Clearly, things had to change.
Barely thinking about, I found myself grabbing my phone and dialling Daisy's number. I hadn't spoken to her since she came over, and it was my fault things had been left on a bad note. That was only last week and I felt like an idiot as I heard the phone ringing.
"Hello?" her groggy voice came through, and I immediately felt bad.
I swallowed the lump in my throat as I tried to silence my heavy breathing. "Hey, Daisy. It's, er, it's Y/N. I'm sorry, I– I didn't mean to wake you. I–"
"Y/N?" she asked, voice laced with fatigue and confusion. "Are you okay? What is it? Where are you?"
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you," I said quickly, trying to maintain my shakiness. I brought my legs up to my chest and wrapped an arm around them tightly. "I'm at home. I just–" I flinched, closing my eyes. "I'm sorry, did I wake you? My parents gave me your number and I– I didn't know what else to do–"
"You don't need to apologise," she cut me off, wakening up a little by the sounds of it. "I'm glad you called. What's wrong?"
I smiled dryly, wiping away at my tears. "I, er, you were right about me. I should have–" I breathed out deeply. "I need to talk to someone about... yeah. But right now I... I can't go back to sleep."
"Do you want me to come over? I'm not far and–"
"No, no!" I said quickly, slightly embarrassed. "You don't need to– it's the middle of the night. I just– I don't know what I was expecting. I just didn't want to be alone and I didn't wanna wake my parents and worry them."
"Of course," she said reassuringly. "It's okay. I won't come, but I can stay on the phone with you if you'd like? We can talk. Or we can just stay silent. Anything you want."
I sniffled and put my head between my legs, feeling my shoulders relax a little. The last thing I wanted was to be a bother to her.
"Thanks," I muttered, and I wasn't even sure if she heard it. "I'm sorry for how I acted last week... with this."
"We don't need to talk about it," she said softly, her voice raspy as she'd just woken up. "I just want you to be okay."
I closed my eyes, breathing out quietly. I wasn't sure what to say, but the sound of her voice was instantly reassuring.
It was quiet between us, for at least another minute or so, and all I could hear was her breathing on the other side. As much as I appreciated the company, I knew it was unfair of me to keep her on the phone.
Swallowing hard, I said, "Daisy?"
"Yeah? Are you okay?"
I rubbed the bridge of my nose, knowing I wasn't. "I don't think–" I sighed awkwardly. "I won't be falling asleep any time soon and I– er, you should go. I don't want to keep you on here for no reason."
"It's not for no reason," she reassured. "I'll stay on until you fall asleep, Y/N. You'll get tired eventually."
"But if I don't–"
"I'll stay on."
I nodded, despite her being unable to see me. "Thank you..."
It went quiet again, and I felt my heart rate returning to its normal pace as I distracted myself with the sound of Daisy's breathing. It wasn't hard to tire myself to the sound, as I was already exhausted, just scared. But when I closed my eyes and let her breathing comfort me, it almost felt like she was right next to me, and my fear slowly faded away.
—
When I woke up the next morning, I was drooling on my phone screen as the sun streamed through my curtains. When I wiped my mouth, a yawn escaped my lips and I moved my phone from my pillow, confused to why it was there. But then I remembered the early hours of that morning and felt my face flush with embarrassment. I checked the screen, seeing the call wasn't still on, but there was a text from Daisy.
Daisy: hey, Y/N, I hope you feel better in the morning. I figured you wouldn't want to wake up to me on the phone, so I hung up. Please don't be angry, but I'm on my way over to see you. I just want to make sure you're okay.
That message was sent fifteen minutes ago, so I wouldn't put it past Daisy to already be outside. It was embarrassing, don't get me wrong, but I appreciated that she cared enough to check on me, even after I'd treated her disrespectfully.
I'd just managed to brush my teeth when Daisy arrived. My mum called me downstairs, claiming it was for me, and I tried not to fidget in my pyjamas as I descended the stairs and saw Daisy waiting by the front door. When she saw me, a relieved smile was on her lips.
"Hey," she began quietly, hesitant to say more in case I was mad.
I exhaled slowly, shoulders relaxing at the sight of her. She'd helped me more than she'd known, and with that thought in my mind, I moved forward and hugged her gratefully.
"Thank you," I whispered into her shoulder, closing my eyes as my arms laced around her neck.
She returned the hug and I sensed her surprise.
"Anytime, Y/N," she replied with a squeeze. "I just want you to be okay."
I nodded, lingering for a moment longer than I probably should have, before pulling away. She searched my eyes with a hint of concern and I subconsciously grabbed her hand and kept ahold of it.
"I'm gonna book an appointment with a therapist," I told her, the thought terrifying me in itself, but I knew it was the right thing to do. "And I wanted to ask if you... would you..." I swallowed hard, suddenly unable to meet her eyes. "Will you please come with me?"
"Of course I will," she promised, squeezing my hand and earning my attention. "I'll be with you whenever you want." She blinked, clearing her throat with realisation. "I mean, for the appointments, obviously."
Thankfully, her messy words brought a smile to my face and reassured me about the whole therapy thing.
"Thank you," I said, finding it cute how she was the one to avoid my eyes now. "Since you're here, you may as well stay for breakfast. If you're not busy, that is."
"Breakfast. Sure. I'd love to."
I didn't let go of her hand as I tugged her towards the kitchen to join me.
—
Having Daisy back in my life was probably the best thing to happen to me in a long time.
Not only had she literally saved my life as Quake, but she was also saving my life every day after. Whether it was accompanying me to my therapist appointments or hospital appointments, or hanging out with me way more than she needed to, she was more present in my life. I didn't ask her to – it only began when I'd asked her to come to my first therapist appointment – but she'd chosen to. And I didn't want to question it because I'd missed her more than I cared to admit.
My parents took her in as family like no time had passed and I was accepting her back into my life, too, but I didn't want to get too attached. She had a job to do at the end of the day, and knowing Daisy, she wouldn't stay for too long. I guess, in the back of my head, there was still that expectation of her picking up and leaving, just like she used to. Which was silly, since that was years ago, but still...
Despite her presence in my life again, we'd been avoiding talking about what we'd missed in each other's lives. The specifics anyway. I knew she joined S.H.I.E.L.D. and found her family, and she knew I became an investigative journalist and did many news packages on different topics, but I didn't know anything more and neither did she. I wasn't sure if it was on purpose or if we just avoided it without thinking, but I knew we had to face the music soon.
We were getting coffee after she picked me up from one of my therapy sessions when I brought it up.
"So, my therapist has been helping me with some stuff," I began, staring at my coffee as we walked back to my house. "Stuff outside of my PTSD, that is."
"Oh?" Daisy asked, and I could see her looking at me in the corner of my eyes. "Like what?"
I took a sip of my coffee, trying not to feel embarrassed as I answered, "Well, we obviously talk about my life. And what happens in it. Who I'm with..."
"Yeah..." Daisy was grinning now.
I rolled my eyes, wishing my face wasn't as warm as it felt. "She noticed you've been dropping me off and picking me up and... you may have come up in conversation."
"Ah, so you talk about me," she said slowly, trying very hard not to laugh. "Did you tell her how amazing I am? Or how beautiful, charming and funny I am?"
I sighed, finally lifting my eyes to look at her. Brown eyes twinkled with amusement as she gave me her usual teasing smile, making me shove her in the shoulder gently. Laughter spilled from her lips and I hated the butterflies in my stomach at the sound.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she said, falling into step with me again. "You were saying. Go on."
Looking back ahead as we walked, I said, "Yes, well, we talked about you. And then she recommended that I try to catch up with you more. You know? Because we both talk so much about the good old days and even now, but not the in between. Not the parts that we weren't there for."
I looked back to Daisy when I finished, and she thankfully lost her amusement as she nodded in agreement. I half expected her to take the piss, but she was supportive as she glanced at me.
"I like the sound of that," she said, easing the nerves in my stomach. "So. What do you want to know?"
I cleared my throat, taking another sip of my drink and thinking of where to start. "Okay, erm... why don't we start with your S.H.I.E.L.D. friends? They're your family and I would love to get to know them better. What are they like?"
She nodded thoughtfully, sipping her coffee. "S.H.I.E.L.D., okay. Well, you met Jemma. She's basically my sister. Her and Fitz – I think I mentioned him before?" I nodded, recalling her throwing in the name in one of her stories. "They're together and they've been with me since I was recruited a few years ago. We've been through a lot together, but they've got my backs and I've got theirs."
I smiled at the carefree expression on her face. Just talking about them put her at ease and I felt a little better knowing that her time after high school wasn't completely terrible like I imagined.
"Then there's Coulson, of course," she continued, glancing at me every now and then to see if I was listening. "He's basically our dad. He's the reason I'm even with S.H.I.E.L.D. and he's always looking out for me, even when I'm doing stupid stuff."
"So, regularly then."
She nudged me in the arm at my comment, making me chuckle.
"He was how I learnt about my family," she explained. "There for me when I found them. When I got my powers. When I lost my family... he's been there through it all. I'd do anything for him."
I watched her carefully. "He sounds important to you."
Her lips curved into a small smile as brown eyes met mine. "He is."
She continued to tell me about the rest of her team and what everything was like at work, and the whole time she did, she was smiling.
"I'd love for you to meet them all," she finished, and I was surprised at the hint of nervousness in her voice. I didn't think she ever got nervous. "I mean, you've met Jemma, but the others– you should meet them, too. If you want to, that is."
"I'd like that," I said instantly, appreciating the way her eyes lit up and she tried very hard to hide her smile.
She cleared her throat, distracting from the pink spreading on her face, before asking, "So, you basically know about everything interesting that's happened to me these past nine or so years. What about you? Anything life-changing occur for you?" I opened my mouth to answer, and she added, "Apart from travelling around the world and being an investigative journalist?"
I feigned offence. "I hardly think that's fair. That's like me asking you not to talk about working for S.H.I.E.L.D. or being Quake."
Rolling her eyes playfully, she said, "Go on. Tell me something different."
I looked away from her in thought, thinking back to the past nine years. "I guess... oh, I know. I was almost married."
Her jaw dropped. "You were what?"
A laugh escaped my lips at her intrigued expression. She shook her head with disbelief.
"I have to know more," she insisted, before raising her brows. "You? Almost married?"
"It does sound strange," I agreed with amusement, before recalling the event. "It was about two years ago. I was with this guy who worked at the same paper I did. We'd been together for about a year and–"
"–and you realised he had a second family in the Bahamas?" she finished with a roguish grin.
"Very funny." I narrowed my eyes jokingly. "But no. I just realised I didn't love him. Well, I wasn't in love with him."
"Ouch."
"Ouch indeed." I paused, remembering the poor guy's face when I broke the news to him. "It was a month into the engagement when I told him the truth. He was very understanding, but–"
"–but you broke his poor little heart," she concluded, before wrapping an arm around my shoulder and tugging me closer. "Dear Y/N. The heartbreaker."
"Fuck off."
She laughed when she saw me attempting to fight a smile from my lips. Though eventually, one appeared anyway. Daisy always had the ability to bring out the best in me like that – I'd missed it.
"How about you anyway?" I asked, hoping for an opportunity to tease her in return. "Any boyfriends or girlfriends I should know about? Crazy exes, maybe?"
She snorted, swallowing her coffee before giving me a knowing look. "You're gonna need to brace yourself for this one. I doubt you'll believe me when it comes to this."
I rose an eyebrow with curiosity. "Damn, you've got me hooked, Johnson. Proceed."
And of course, that was the first and last time I heard about Agent Grant Ward. An interestingly dark tale of a dickhead of a man whose existence I was glad was no more.
"...so, do I win?" Daisy asked once she finished talking about him.
"Win what?"
She stared like it was obvious. "The best ex story, duh!"
"Wow." I snickered, shaking my head. "I guess you do."
Fist-pumping like an idiot, she said, "Knew it. Nothing ever beats homicidal psychopath almost-boyfriend."
"You need help."
"No, no I don't. I have you."
"Uh-huh."
"Love you, too."
—
Three months passed since returning from Myanmar and I was finally in a place where I could return to work. Even though I'd been putting together my research and interviews into a coherent news story at home, I hadn't physically been back to the newsroom in about a year.
My therapist had been helping me to treat my PTSD, my physical therapy was helping me get back function in my shoulder and arm, and the injury itself was almost healed, though I still had to wear a cast. Everything was actually beginning to look up.
I'd even sent off the complete news series about what I'd discovered in Myanmar to my editor which got published just before I returned to work. So, of course, as soon as I got there, that was the first thing everybody congratulated me on.
"Views have been going through the roof," Taylor, my colleague and closest friend at work, said as soon as he spotted me walking to my desk. "Your story is all anybody has been talking about!"
"Good to see you, too," I joked, an attempt to disguise my embarrassment at all the attention. "It's only been a year since we last saw each other."
He gave me a grin. "You know I missed you, Y/L/N, get over here."
I rolled my eyes playfully but accepted his hug, being careful of my shoulder. He squeezed me gently before letting go and perching himself on the edge of my desk as I took a seat. It felt strange to be back, but a good strange.
"I still can't believe you're actually here in the flesh," he said after a moment, eyeing me suspiciously. "I've been so used to quick calls and texts where I try to convince you not to do stupid stuff."
Chuckling, I shot him an appreciative smile. "You know I'm grateful for that. Even if I didn't listen."
"You not listening helped you get the best story though," he countered. "I bet you didn't expect S.H.I.E.L.D. to make the bust in the end though."
I sighed, shaking my head. "Definitely not. But I owe them a lot. They saved my life."
His expression softened. "That's another thing... thanks for not dying on me."
"You're welcome," I returned, though appreciated what he meant. "Now. Catch me up on everything I missed. Gossip an' all."
That was enough for him to pull up a seat and remind me of everything I'd missed whilst being away. We'd spoke many times whilst I was gone, but nothing quite beat a good bitching session in person.
Eventually though, our editor ended up interrupting and asked to see me in her office. I wasn't worried in the slightest, but there was still that tiny part of me that imagined the worst.
"You can stop holding your breath, y'know," Karla told me when I stopped before her desk. She seemed amused as she added, "I wanted to congratulate you on the human trafficking story."
Relaxing my shoulders, I raised my brows. "Oh. I– thank you. I'm glad you liked it."
"You put a lot on the line to get the results you did, but it shows," she continued proudly. "You've made an excellent name for yourself and done your fellow journalists proud."
"I didn't do it for that," I said politely, "but thank you. I just wanted to help those people in Myanmar the best I could."
She smiled. "And you did."
"Well, S.H.I.E.L.D. did."
"But you shared the truth, didn't you?" she reminded me. "Don't belittle this achievement."
I didn't know what to say, so I stayed quiet and watched as she took a seat at her desk chair.
"I heard that it was Quake who saved you back there," she said curiously. "You know, we've never actually gotten an interview with her. Nobody has."
Oh, so that's what she actually wanted.
"I thought, well, since you know her, you could get us an exclusive?" she asked.
I chewed on my lip. "Erm..."
"You don't have to," she added, noticing my reluctance. "But it could be good for everyone. The city can get to know its hero, you can get a great interview under your belt. And our paper gets all the views. What d'you say?"
I was beginning to regret putting that one quote from Daisy in my article now... I should have known Karla would want more. That was the thing with editors – you give them one taste and they want to eat the whole thing.
"I'll ask," I decided, which she seemed to love. "No harm in asking, but I can't promise anything."
Karla leaned back in her seat, nodding. "Very true. Thank you for understanding. I'll let you settle back into work now. Remember to take it easy, yeah? Don't want to lose my best journalist from overworking herself."
I smiled awkwardly as she laughed, before nodding in response and leaving her office.
It wasn't that I didn't want to interview Daisy, but I didn't want to ruin what we had by asking for a favour. Everything between us was going well, even if it was probably temporary and she'd have to leave soon. I assumed that anyway. And on top of that, I was certain I was falling in love with her again, just like I had nine years ago.
Could you blame me? It was impossible to just remain friends with her when she went through all this extra effort to make sure I was okay. Her kind, considerate, supportive self was always on my mind whether I liked it or not. A girl could dream, right?
After my first day back, Daisy picked me up outside. She insisted when she rang me at lunchtime to make sure I was okay, wanting to know everything about how my first day went. I couldn't find it in myself to say no, so I eventually found her sat on a chair in the lobby when I came downstairs after work.
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Guilty Pleasure
[Porn AU]
Summary: Peter and Beck used to be a power couple in the porn industry, but after Beck dumps him, Peter is forced to start over. With no money, no family and nowhere to go, he doesn’t have much choice other than to keep doing porn, so he joins Just4Fans to get back on his feet and then one day he gets a very generous tip from someone under the username of YKWIM.
All the warnings listed on Part I apply.
Read on AO3
Part I / Part II / Part III / Part IV / Part V / Part VI / Part VII / Part VIII / Part IX / Part X / Part XI / Epilogue
-x-
As it turned out, Tony did make great pancakes. Peter woke up the next day to the smell of them, and shyly headed in the general direction it was coming from, until he reached the kitchen. Tony was standing there, wearing impeccable gray dress pants, a crisp white shirt and a green tie, as he added batter to a frying pan. Peter supposed that was what heaven would look like when he died.
“Oh, hey, kitten, you’re up.” He grinned at him, who smiled in return, nodding. He had put his clothes from the night before back on, and he was glad he did, because Tony was dressed to the nines and it would have been awkward if he had shown up in just his boxers or something. “Sleep well?”
“I did, thanks.” And it was surprisingly true. Peter hadn’t had such a good night’s sleep in a while, he supposed he missed sleeping next to someone. He did share a bed with Beck for two years, so it felt awfully lonely to sleep by himself. “Are you headed to work?” He asked as he sat on a stool by the kitchen island and Tony nodded guiltily, fixing two plates of pancakes.
“I’m so sorry, I tried to make arrangements to get the morning off, but duty calls.” To his credit, he did look genuinely sorry, so Peter thought maybe it wasn’t just an excuse to get rid of him. Maybe.
“It’s okay, I have to be home soon, or my friends will worry.” Which wasn’t exactly true, but not exactly a lie either. They wouldn’t notice he was gone until lunchtime, since they both had work or class in the morning, but when they did notice, they would freak out.
“I thought you lived by yourself?” Tony sounded interested as he sat beside him by the kitchen counter and pushed a plate his way. Peter thanked him, taking a bite of the surprisingly good pancake.
“I do, but we live in the same building, so we’re always checking in on each other.” Tony hummed, nodding, and they were silent for a little while, until the older man spoke up again.
“Can I ask about your relatives?” He felt his eyes on him and knew that, much like the night before, he was testing the waters, making sure Peter was comfortable with that subject.
“Sure. I don’t have any, though. I’m an orphan, I’ve lived in foster homes for most of my life.” Peter didn’t really mind talking about that period – it was basically all he knew. He was too little when his parents died and was only ten when Ben and May passed away, so the foster homes were where he made most of his memories.
“Oh. I’m so sorry to hear that.” Tony winced, maybe thinking he had touched a sensitive subject after all, but Peter smiled and shrugged.
“It’s okay, it was a long time ago. My friends are like family to me now, so I’m good.”
“I’m glad you have them.” Again, he gave him that genuine smile that made Peter believe he was actually glad to hear that. Like he actually cared. “So… Can I see you again? Or was this just a one time thing?” The older man turned his body to face Peter, who froze for a second with the mug held to his lips, mid-sip.
“Oh, uhm…” Peter almost chocked on the coffee, not quite believing his ears. He honestly thought that the older man would slowly disappear from his life. Or maybe not even that slowly. Peter figured he had gotten what he wanted, so why would he stick around? “I mean, sure. If you want.” He said, like an idiot, and Tony raised a brow.
“I really do, but I don’t mean to pressure you, so if you want to say no and just go back to what we had, that’s okay. Or not even that, if you prefer. Just say the word and I’ll get out of your hair.” He sounded honest enough, but Peter quickly shook his head, eyes wide.
“No, it’s okay, I definitely wanna do this again.” He assured him, and Tony seemed satisfied with his answer, expression softening as he nodded.
After breakfast, the older man insisted on driving him home and when they arrived at his building, he felt a little awkward as to how to say goodbye, but Tony made it easier by simply leaning in and kissing him softly on the lips, one hand stroking his knee in a gentle caress.
“I’ll call you later, kitten.” He promised and Peter just sighed quietly, feeling dizzy.
He was a little out of it for the rest of the day, both Ned and MJ asked what was wrong with him in separate occasions, but he just said he was tired from his new routine. They had dinner together and when he went back to his apartment that night, he was just mildly surprised that he actually got a call from Tony. It was an innocent, sweet phone call, too. He did not expect that, to be honest, they had been sexting for two months and they had actual sex the previous night, so he kind of expected Tony to just go for it.
But no.
He asked about his day, about his friends, he told him about his own day, then somehow they ended up talking a little bit about Peter’s childhood, his parents, aunt May and Uncle Ben, it was just a really nice chat, which he appreciated. Not that he didn’t enjoy talking dirty to Tony, but the fact that he called just to have a normal conversation with no second intentions was, well. Nice.
He didn’t really know where they were going with that, probably nowhere, really, Peter was an ex-porn star, Tony was an A-list celebrity, a billionaire and a fucking Avenger, so there was literally zero chance they could evolve to something else. They would probably just go out a few more times, have mind-blowing awesome sex, and then go their separate ways. And Peter was okay with that.
It was fine. Really. It was just fine.
And it was for the best, otherwise how would he explain to Ned and MJ that he was dating Tony Fucking Stark? It would be a nightmare. MJ would kill him and lecture him on how big corporations like Stark Industries were destroying their way of life and Ned would pass out – and possibly die – so, yeah. It was a good thing they had no real future together.
That didn’t mean he couldn’t enjoy it while it lasted, though. Tony was really nice, a true gentleman, a good conversationalist, a great kisser and an amazing lay. So whatever he could get out of those moments they had together, he would. Everything was perfectly fine and under control. And did he mention fine?
The next morning, he woke up early and went for a jog around the block. He had been experimenting with different types of workout routines, but he thought he might stick with jogging and yoga for a while, he was even looking for a yoga studio close to his building so he could start training more seriously. When he got back, he took a long shower, made breakfast and spent a few hours answering people on Just4Fans, then posted a few pictures there, linked it to his twitter account and let people know on Instagram.
Tony texted him mid-morning and Peter blushed like a teenager when he read his message.
“Just saw the new pics, you look stunning as always, baby, but I have to admit I’m spoiled now, pictures are not enough. Can’t wait to see you again. Dinner tomorrow?”
“Flattery will get you everywhere, sir, keep it coming.” He smiled to himself and bit his lower lip, excited by the prospect of seeing Tony again so soon. “Tomorrow sounds great, where are we going? Should I start stressing about the dress code?”
“I was thinking you could come over. Did I mention that I’m a great cook? Pancakes aren’t my only specialty.” Peter felt butterflies in his stomach. It was stupid, of course, but he just found it endearing that Tony wanted to cook for him.
“I’d love to. I’m curious about your cooking, your pancakes did taste fantastic.” Just the thought of that morning and, more importantly, the night before that, made his mind wander, as a quiet sigh left his lips.
“Prepare to be blown away.”
“You’re so humble, I love that about you.” The young man smiled to himself.
“Thank you, kitten, it’s one of my many qualities.” Peter laughed at his antics.
They settled on a time and Tony insisted on picking him up, even though it was obviously inconvenient since they were having dinner at his place, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer, so Peter gave in. They talked a little more, but soon Tony had to go back to work and now that the younger man knew exactly who he was, he imagined it was a lot of work.
He went on with his Saturday – in the afternoon, he took a few pictures and videos with different sets of lingerie he bought with MJ when they went to Victoria’s Secret, and that should be enough to last him at least a few days. At dinnertime, he went down to his friends’ apartment, as usual, and they were both home.
“What’s up, nerd,” MJ greeted from the couch, but didn’t raise her eyes from her phone.
“Hey, Pete, dinner is almost ready,” Ned called from the kitchen island.
“Want me to set the table?” He walked over to where Ned was fishing a plate out of the microwave.
“Sure.”
Peter knew his way around the kitchen, so he got to work, placing the plates and cutlery on the small, square table by the counter.
“Hey, are you up for a Star Trek marathon tomorrow night? I don’t have any classes next Monday morning, we can stay up late.”
“Oh, uhm. I –“ Fuck, he hadn’t really thought of an excuse for why he wouldn’t be having dinner with them. “I can’t, because…” He noticed that MJ had finally raised her eyes from her phone, only to stare at him suspiciously. “I have this thing, uhm, on my Just4Fans… Tomorrow night.”
“Can’t you just schedule the posts?” MJ asked from the couch, because of-fucking-course she knew about that.
“Uhm, yeah, I can, but – uhm. It’s a live stream. I’m live streaming tomorrow for the first time. It’s good for tips and stuff, so. Yeah. I’ve already let everybody know, I can’t cancel.” He gave them an apologetic smile, trying to look convincing, but he was pretty sure he just looked like a nervous wreck.
“Oh. Ok, then.” Ned shrugged and didn’t seem bothered at all, but MJ kept staring at him from the couch, like she could smell his bullshit from a mile away. She didn’t say anything, though, for which he was grateful.
The next morning, he woke up early and decided to skip his usual jog around the block and just did a short yoga session in his living room, warmed by the morning sun that flooded his apartment at that time. He had lunch with his friends and spent the afternoon with them, but left early with the excuse that he had to get ready for his “live stream”.
When the older man texted to say he was waiting outside, Peter was already showered and dressed and skipped downstairs two steps at a time. He didn’t know what he was supposed to wear to a billionaire’s house, but he decided casual was probably fine, so he put on a pair of light blue jeans and a light pink, thin sweater.
Tony was driving a low-profile, black SUV and he got out of the car when Peter stepped outside the building. He had a baseball cap and tinted glasses on, dark blue jeans, a Metallica t-shirt and sneakers, and if Peter didn’t know it was him, he would never have thought that was actually Tony Stark.
“Hey, gorgeous, looking good.” Tony didn’t think twice before reaching out to pull him closer by the hips, stealing a chaste kiss from his lips. Peter blushed and completely forgot he should be worried that Ned or MJ might see them if they came downstairs for something, or even if they looked out the living room window. He wrapped his arms around the older man’s neck and deepened the kiss.
“Thanks, but you should get your eyes checked.” He joked as he let go, taking a small step back.
“Yeah, I think so too, I think constantly staring at such beauty is taking a toll on my eyesight, I’m an old man, after all.” Tony pulled him by the chin and stole yet another kiss. When he pulled away, Peter shook his head and laughed.
“Oh my God. Seriously, do you practice these lines in the mirror or something?” He had a feeling that if it was anyone else saying half the things Tony said to him daily, he would find it corny and possibly annoying, but somehow the older man made everything sound charming, sweet, sexy, endearing – hell, everything at once. And he always knew what to say to make Peter’s knees go weak, it was unnerving sometimes.
“No, you just inspire me daily, baby.” He gave him a charming smile, as he opened the door and gestured for Peter to get in the car.
The ride to Tony’s place was filled with the sound of the older man humming along to the music playing. Peter didn’t recognize any of the songs, it was a classic rock playlist, but then he heard a familiar beat and thought it was a great opportunity to stick his foot so deep inside his mouth he almost choked.
“I love Led Zeppelin!” He didn’t exactly love Led Zeppelin and he was quite sure he had just heard a cover of that song, not the original version, but he thought he’d sound cool if he said that. When he looked over, though, Tony was laughing his head off. Peter blushed a deep crimson, eyes widening as he realized he must have said something incredibly dumb.
“Oh, you’re not joking.” Finally seeming to realize that the younger man wasn’t laughing along with him, Tony turned down the volume, as they approached Stark Tower’s garage entrance. “That’s Back in Black by AC/DC, kitten. But hey, I love Zeppelin, too, who doesn’t?” He smiled warmly, looking at him sideways, and Peter nodded.
“Oh, right. Yeah. Of course.” Fuck his life. Of course he had to make a complete fool of himself right at the beginning of the night. He wanted to jump out the window from embarrassment, but it would only add to his humiliation, since Tony had already parked and got out of the car.
The older man opened the door for him and Peter avoided eyes contact, as he led him to the elevator. He could still feel his cheeks burning on the ride up, his head was starting to hurt from shame. Was that a thing?
“Hey, don’t be like this.” Tony pulled him into a loose hug, kissing his temple with a soft smile on his lips. “It was an honest mistake. Besides, I wouldn’t be able to identify whatever it is you kids listen to these days.”
It was oddly comforting to hear that. Even though he knew Tony wasn’t trying to be mean to him back in the car, it was hard not to feel attacked in situations like that. Beck always tried to make him feel dumb, inferior and juvenile whenever he got the chance.
So he rested his head on Tony’s shoulder and nodded slowly. He was going to say something like “don’t worry, I’m fine” but it got lost somewhere in the back of his throat when the older man held him a little tighter and stroked his hair.
The whole interaction lasted merely a few seconds, soon the elevator doors opened to the familiar sight of Tony’s living room, looking just as impeccable as it did a couple of nights earlier. The older man gestured for Peter to lead the way and he did, paying closer attention to the details, since he was a little too nervous to do it the last time he was there.
What he realized when he took a look around, was that the penthouse didn’t look lived in at all. It was all glass and metal, shiny floors and sophisticated furniture, black and gray decoration – it looked ready to be featured in one of those shows that listed the most beautiful houses in the world, but it didn’t look like a place he would like to go back to at the end of the day.
“You don’t spend a lot of time here, do you?” Peter asked, as Tony led them in the direction he remembered the kitchen and the dining room were.
“That obvious, huh?” The older man winced and Peter flushed, realizing he might have been a little rude in his observation. “But yeah, when I’m home, I spend most of my time down in the workshop.”
“Ah, the famous workshop. I suppose if I were to visit right now there would be pictures of me hanging on every wall?” He joked, remembering that Tony had once told him that he would hang his pictures in the workshop and never get any work done.
“I mean, not every wall…” He turned to him and winked, leaving the younger man a little unsure if he meant it or if he was just messing around. Sometimes it was hard to tell with the man’s sarcastic sense of humor. “I’ll give you a tour after dinner.” He promised, when they finally reached the dining room.
The table was set in a simple manner, for what Peter was glad, it made him feel more comfortable and at ease. Tony pulled out a chair for him then headed to the kitchen, which was separated from the dining room only by a long, wide counter, where the had breakfast the other day.
The man came back with wine, pouring two glasses for them, then he started placing the dishes on the table. There was mashed potatoes, grilled veggies and roast chicken, and the smell was to die for, Peter’s stomach rumbled and he wasn’t even that hungry.
“Voilà. This was my favorite meal as a kid, my grandma used to make this for me all the time when I spent summers with her.” He took a seat across from Peter, looking at him expectantly. The younger man found his enthusiasm amusing, so he fixed a plate under Tony’s eager supervision. “Tell me what you think. But be nice, I haven’t cooked this in a while, it might be a little dry.”
Peter took a bite of the chicken first, and it took him a few moments to feel the explosion of flavors on his tongue. The meat was tender and juicy, cooked to perfection, and the seasoning tasted inexplicably like home – it didn’t taste like something he could order at a restaurant, let alone a frozen meal he could buy at the supermarket. He then tried the mashed potatoes along with the grilled veggies and almost cried.
“Tony, this is so good, have you considered dropping everything and starting a restaurant?” he gushed, taking another bite of the chicken only to confirm that, yes, that was probably what paradise tasted like.
“Don’t exaggerate. I already like you plenty, kitten, you don’t need to flatter my cooking skills.” Tony smiled, shaking his head lightly, and if Peter didn’t know any better, he might think he was blushing.
“I’m not, this is seriously the best homemade meal I’ve ever eaten,” he insisted and Tony cocked his head to the side, with a confused smile and a frown
“What the hell have they been feeding you, kid?” He asked and Peter chuckled.
“Well, I spent most of my life in foster care and I was never lucky enough to end up in a family that liked to cook.” The families he stayed with weren’t bad – not compared to some of the horror stories he heard from other foster kids he met in the past – they just weren’t good. They provided him with the bare minimum for survival, so water and enough food to avoid starvation. “And uncle Ben and aunt May, dude… They couldn’t cook for shit.” He laughed, remembering Aunt May’s date loaf, which was probably the worst thing he had ever tasted in his life.
“Well, now I feel obligated to feed you properly,” Tony announced, and Peter quickly shook his head, feeling his face grow red for the hundredth time that night.
“Oh, no, you don’t need to, I wasn’t–”
“I want to, if I’m your only source of good, homemade food, then I’m taking this seriously, kitten.” He pointed a fork at him as he spoke. “And you can help me cook, what do you say? That way I can teach you a thing or two so you won’t starve to death.” Again, the idea that Tony wanted to cook for him was too sweet. He was an incredibly busy guy who probably didn’t even cook for himself, but he was willing to waste that kind of time on Peter. It just–
“Sounds amazing.” He smiled, nodding, and the older man’s face softened when their eyes met.
“Good.” He took a sip of wine and topped off both of their glasses. “Did you tell your friends you were coming here today?” That seemed like a polite way to ask if they knew about him, and Peter wasn’t sure what kind of answer he was expecting.
“No, they think I’m home.” He watched the man’s face, waiting for his reaction, but there was none, so Peter felt like he should explain himself further. “After my ex – they’re just a little too overprotective, so, you know. I just don’t want them to worry.” Tony raised his eyebrows and Peter’s eyes widened, realizing what that might have sounded like. “Not that I think you’re my – that we’re – I mean, I’m not assuming anything, I just meant –“
“Hey, it’s okay, I know what you mean.” He reached across the table to squeeze one of his shaking hands. “Your friends sound like good people, by the way. You’re lucky to have them.”
“Thanks.” Tony smoothly changed the subject and started talking about his summers with his grandmother and how she taught him everything he knew about cooking. He said that was the reason why his repertoire consisted only of comfort food and Peter thought that was the sweetest thing he had learned about him so far.
Once dinner was done with, Tony kept his promise and gave him a tour. The place looked like a labyrinth made of glass and steel, there were five floors, several rooms with various purposes, but everything seemed sterile and impersonal, like nobody ever stepped foot in any of those places, which somehow made them look lifeless and even a little scary – like a ghost town of sorts. Peter couldn’t help but think that his tiny, mostly empty apartment felt more like a home than all five floors of Tony’s.
Well, all except for one.
“And this is the workshop,” Tony declared with a flourish when the glass doors slid open, revealing a wide, open space filled with worktables, holographic screens, robots, cars, Iron Man suits, and so many other things he had never seen before in his life. “Sorry about the mess.” He didn’t sound sorry, though, he sounded happy and proud, and Peter thought it was the only place in the penthouse that felt weirdly cozy and homey. To his relief – and secret disappointment –, there were no pictures of him in lingerie hanging on the walls.
“This is amazing…” Peter breathed out, realizing that that was Tony’s actual home. There was even a kitchenette in a corner, and next to it there was a small, cozy couch in front of a reasonably sized TV and a fluffy rug. He supposed Tony took naps there, too, because there was also a blanket draped over the back of the couch.
He walked over there, followed closely by the older man, and took a seat, sinking into the soft pillows.
“I think this is my favorite room.” He blinked up at Tony, who regarded him silently for a few moments, and Peter started to think he had fucked up again. “What?” He whispered, but his answer came in the form of a kiss. He immediately melted into it, all worries flying out the window as he opened his mouth to taste him better.
Tony pushed him gently until he was lying on the couch with his larger body on top of him, and he’d be lying if he said that wasn’t the best feeling in the world.
It was a tight fit, but they made it work, as pieces of clothes were thrown to a pile on the floor; as skin met skin and made the room feel unbearably hot; as hands explored and mouths danced together and teeth left secret claiming marks on eager necks; as he felt, once again, full and sate and whole, and then spent and lax and dazed in the best of ways.
Suddenly, what had been frantic and passionate became slow and soft, what had been loud and messy became quiet and wholesome.
The room was silent then, as their bodies slowly cooled down. Tony was lying on his back on the couch and Peter was lying on top of him, chests flush together, breathing in and out in sync. He felt a blanket being draped over his shoulders and he all but melted into the body underneath him.
“Can I ask you a question?” He whispered quietly into Tony’s neck, after several minutes, not sure if the older man had fallen asleep, his breathing was slow and constant.
“Baby, you could ask me anything right now, there’s no way I’d say no to you.��� He answered right away and Peter giggled, pushing himself up on Tony’s chest to look down at him.
“Why did you want to meet me? For real?” Tony, whose eyes had been closed until that moment, opened them to gaze at him. He was quiet for a while, as one of his hands found the small of Peter’s back under the blanket and started rubbing circles on his skin.
“I liked talking to you.” He answered quietly, eyes locked on his. At first, Peter thought that was all the answer he was getting, and he would have been fine with that, but Tony kept talking. “You made me feel alive again.” His heart raced and his breath hitched in shock. He blinked down at the older man, who raised his free hand to tuck some of Peter’s curls behind his ear. “You see, things were… rough. After Thanos.” He remembered the funny story Tony told him in the restaurant a few nights earlier and was surprised to see such grief in the man’s eyes. “I had these nightmares. Anxiety attacks. Couldn’t sleep most nights.”
Peter reached out and ran a finger across the man’s forehead, trying to smooth down the frown that had formed there. Tony smiled, grabbing that hand to give it a little kiss.
“Pepper wanted me to give up the suit for good, said it was killing me and she wouldn’t stand by and watch it happen. On top of that, my relationship with some of the Avengers was strained, to say the least. I thought retiring from the Avengers would be enough to solve most of my problems, but I was wrong and everything just kind of snowballed from there. So what I mean to say is that by the time I met you, I was… Fucking exhausted.”
“Tony...” He frowned, heart clenching, because he could hear the pain in the man’s voice and how much he meant every word and it was devastating.
“I looked forward to talking to you every night, you know. Still do. I don’t why you got under my skin like that, but you did. So when I said I needed to meet you, I meant I needed to meet you.” He smiled and Peter’s heart skipped a beat. The whole confession was almost too much to handle, too much to believe. At the same time, he knew what Tony meant because he had also been in a very dark place when they met and, somehow, talking to him brought some light back into his life. “My turn?”
“Sure.” Peter smiled, entwining his fingers on Tony’s chest and resting his chin on top of them, looking at the older man’s face.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to answer, I have a feeling this might be a bit of a touchy subject for you.” He cautioned, and Peter gulped. He knew what was coming and he thought about not answering, but Tony had been honest with him, so he took a deep breath and nodded.
“O-okay.”
“How did you end up doing porn? Not that it’s bad or anything, you just sounded so uncomfortable the other night... Like you’re ashamed of it, or regretful.” Tony asked carefully, one of his hands was still rubbing soothing circles on the skin of his back.
“Hm… Well. It’s complicated. I guess the short answer is: I was young and dumb and my older boyfriend convinced me it was a good idea. Then he left me and took all the money and everything we’ve ever built with him and – and now the only thing I know how to do is porn, so… Yeah.” It was a very short version of what happened, but very accurate as well. Tony frowned, raising an eyebrow.
“What do you mean he took everything?”
“He told me to pack a bag and leave. Whatever I couldn’t fit in my bag stayed behind, as well as the social media accounts, the channel, the money… He locked me out of everything.” Peter’s voice grew weaker as he spoke, because he felt so fucking ashamed. Of everything. Of admitting he let a man like Quentin into his life, that he made so many terrible decisions just so he could stay with him, only to be treated like that in the end. It was fucking humiliating.
Tony sat up in a haste, forcing him to do the same, until they were both facing each other on the couch. The older man’s eyes were wide, he looked so shocked it was almost funny. Almost.
“Peter, that’s – why – wait, and what do you mean he convinced you to do porn? Is it not something that you want to do?” Peter dropped his gaze for a second, not really sure what the true answer to that question was. If he was honest with himself, most times he just avoided thinking too much about what he was doing.
“Well… I don’t hate it anymore, I guess,” he settled on that, after a few minutes of silence. “Sometimes I even enjoy it now, like… Like when we talk,” he mumbled the last part, raising his eyes again to look into Tony’s warm ones, and the older man looked back at him with – what? Worry? Regret? Guilt?
“So you hated it? Before?” He insisted, and Peter knew he could still choose not to answer if he wanted to, Tony wouldn’t force it out of him, but still – Peter wanted to tell him. He wanted Tony to know.
To know him. All of him. Even the parts that hurt.
“I did.” He whispered, holding back the tears that filled his eyes when the confession left his lips, because that was something that he never wanted to acknowledge. It took all he had to hold Tony’s gaze and not look away in shame. “I just felt… kinda shitty sometimes. Like… I wasn’t even human, just an object to be used and abused and disposed of.” He continued, swallowing a lump in his throat. He couldn’t read Tony’s expression, but his eyes were gentle as always, there was no judgment there. “I didn’t feel like my body belonged to me anymore.” Saying that aloud came almost as a surprise to Peter himself. He always tried so hard not to think about those feelings he almost believed they didn’t really exist, even though they were always there at the back of his mind.
“Pete...” Tony cupped his face in both of his hands, he looked so torn, it almost made Peter regret telling him.
“I’m doing okay now, I promise. I’m in control of my body, my choices, my money. I’m fine now, really,” he vowed and Tony pulled his head closer and pressed their lips together – it wasn’t even a kiss, just a caress.
“I can help you.” He offered with determination, holding his face in his hands, looking straight into his eyes and they were burning with anger, but Peter knew it wasn’t directed to him. “I can help you get everything back, I can make his life a living hell for doing that to you, I can –“
“Please, don’t,” He winced, shaking his head firmly, lifting his hands to hold Tony’s wrists, feeling his pulse and how fast his heart was beating. “Okay? It’s in the past. It’s over now. I don’t want to – relive it, I just want to forget.” His heart raced when the older man closed his eyes and started shaking his head. “Tony?”
“Peter, you can’t ask me to –“
“I am asking you leave it alone.” He insisted, a little desperately, but Tony’s face was locked in a frown and panic started creeping up on him. He couldn’t bear to think about confronting Beck, having to see him again, maybe talk to him again, he just wanted to move on, to forget he ever existed. His eyes burned and he closed them, trying to get his breath under control, but he could feel his hands shaking. “Please, please, don’t make me –“
“Hey, no, no, no.” Tony gathered him in his arms, rubbing his shoulders in a soothing way. “I’m sorry, no, I would never force you to do anything, okay? It’s your choice.” He cupped his face in his hands again, peppering kisses on his cheeks and forehead. Peter started calming down slowly, and even laughed a little when the man’s beard tickled his nose. “You know that I see you, right? And I mean I see you, Peter Parker, not the persona in the videos or the pictures, and you sure seem pretty fucking human to me, kid. You know that, right?” Tony kept holding his head in between his hands, forcing Peter to look back at him, which wasn’t necessary, he couldn’t look away if he tried.
He smiled, nodding slowly, leaning in to kiss his lips. The older man lay back down, pulling him along, until they were back to their original position. He rested his head on Tony’s chest and closed his eyes, sighing in relief.
He felt Tony wrap his arms around his waist, holding him tight, and he thought to himself that if heaven looked like Tony making breakfast in the morning and tasted like his cooking in the evening, it certainly felt like holding him at night.
-x-
Tag list (please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed from the list): @sadachmesarthim @iamnotparticularlyproud @staticwhispersinthedark @bluestarker
Sorry for the long chapter, guys, it really got away from me 🥴
Only four more chapters to goo ✨✨
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Never Mine
Sebastian Stan x Fanfiction
Part One
"With my dog as my witness, to whoever was riding my ass if they didn't back off my bumper I was going to stop in the middle of the road and rip their windshield wipers completely off!"
That type of anger coiled around me like a snake, because there was nothing that bugged me more than someone driving bumper to bumper. The long and exasperated breath I just released helped ease the tension out of my body temporarily. Just in time for reason to settle in. Though in reality it wasn't like I was actually going to jump out of my car and confront this road demon. Who clearly needed to take a course on etiquettes of the road. What I did know was that whoever was behind the wheel of the car had headlights that were so blinding I am sure extraterrestrials in space could spot them.
Trying to find the calm in the situation I focused on the road ahead of me. What little road I could see for that matter. Which wasn't exactly much. I had checked the forecast earlier in the day with the report of it showing that there was to be only clear and blue skies. By the amount of downpour before me you would think there was a tear in the sky if that was how rain fell. I just needed to hang tight for a few more miles until I reached my exit to stop for the night.
I had been driving for nine consecutive hours and it wasn't until the third hour I realized I was not cut out for long distance driving. The plane ticket I turned down from my father was starting to look like a missed opportunity. I opted out for Cooper's sake. I just rescued the little guy a few short weeks ago and I didn't have the heart to leave him alone so soon.
Despite having only six more hours of this painful drive I needed out of my car. A hot shower and a bed was calling my name like a siren's call was to a dazed sailor at sea. I was fervidly drawn to it. Granted, I wasn't exactly going the speed limit in my own defense. Simply because I chose to be a cautious driver not a careless one unlike the dip shit behind me. Cooper and I were going to get to Sonoma, California in one piece if I had anything to do with it! I had no intention to speed in the rain even if it annoyed the person behind me. After all I was driving down a one lane road there was literally nothing else I could do but drive forward.
Taking a glance up at my trusty Garmin my gps projected that at this rate I wouldn't make it to my hotel for another hour and a half. Ahead of me the sky was starting to look like a terrifying shade of gray and to top it off the dismal weather was becoming more and more hard to drive in. I could barely see the paint on the pavement. My defrosters seemed to have given up on me as I began to notice that my rearview mirror fogged up as though it was twilight hour.
I needed to pull over to try to wait out the heavy rainfall. The only problem was that I did not know where I was nor could I see where the road even had an end. The cheap gas station coffee was starting to wear off and the pep talks could no longer motivate me. The words of encouragement quickly transitioned into self deprecating quips of "I can not fucking do this!"
I was too far from home to turn back now and hearing a lecture from my dad despite being well beyond the ages of even receiving one, certainly would not stop him from scolding at my absence. I am more than certain that fiancée number three would not mind if I missed their prenuptial celebration. Especially if arriving on time meant I would be showing up dismembered. It was official I was going to die in this storm.
All of sudden like I called upon a bad omen my tiny Kia Forte jerked forward. I thought I accidentally stomped on the gas pedal too hard without realizing it. When it happened again I knew exactly what it was. Clearly the driver had mistaken this for a game of bumper cars. I laid the palm of my hand on the center of my steering wheel and relentlessly pressed my horn. Not sure what that was going to necessarily ward off , but I had to try something in the efforts that they would leave me alone.
Cooper's head shot up from his bed in the backseat. He looked just as displeased and annoyed as I felt. Why wouldn't they slow down? Is the question I could not figure out. I don't know if it was all the Stephen King that I read, but my paranoia was increasing as I started to settle on the possibility that they were now following me.
Maybe I was tired?
Maybe my imagination truly was getting the best of me?
Or maybe whoever that person was also suddenly decided to take the same random exit as I was taking.
I didn't think. I veered my car off to the right and got on the first breakaway from this seemingly endless road. I had no idea where I was headed at this point and neither did my Garmin. It made multiple attempts to reroute itself, but even that could not locate where I was. I took an unexpected detour by driving off into the middle of nowhere with a now stalker in my midsts.
Adrenaline now filling up my bloodstream. I gave my steering wheel the death grip and drove as fast as the tire tracks of my car would guide me. On a midsize billboard to my left I saw a logo for a gas station and a non franchised bed & breakfast saying it was right up the road. I was taking a chance by trusting that the establishment was clean and safe. I just needed to go where a crowd of people would be. The battery on my phone was likely dead and yes this was now becoming the opening sequence for a King novel. I'd laugh if my heart wasn't fluttering as fast a hummingbird's wing.
I managed to make out lights ahead as I neared the petrol station first. However, it just about looked abandoned. The dim white lights flickered around the desolate parking lot. I saw only two freight trucks parked side by side and I immediately thought
. . .hell no.
I kept driving forward in the hopes that the bed and breakfast sign wasn't last updated in the early nineties. I nearly combusted from relief when I finally saw it. Several cars and mini vans lined up with people inside of them probably doing the same thing that I was. I didn't plan on staying the night I just planned on staying long enough to hide out from the rain and from the trouble that still followed my trails.
Luckily there were free parking spaces close to the entrance. It was still hard to make out what the place truly looked like. From my view in the car the rain made it look like it was a melting oil painting. In a swift motion I put my car in park, turned my ignition off, reached in the back to grab Cooper and grabbed ahold of my purse in the other arm. I bolted out of my car for the door.
It felt as though I was running through a hurricane. I was completely drenched. I could barely keep my eyes from closing as I ran up the slippery steps in my worn Toms praying that I wouldn't eat concrete. There was an awning over the door that offered relief from the storm's cruel embrace . Looking down at the fuzzy brown welcome mat I noticed a quote was scribbled out on it.
"some beautiful paths
can't be discovered without getting lost."
As I reached for the doorknob I couldn't help but notice the intricate design. I'm aware of how wrong the timing was to fawn over something so utterly mundane. I just could not conceal the fact that I was a sucker for antiques roadshow and architectural designing. Growing up with a dad that built and reconstructed vintage furniture one might pick up on the interest. It was a white privacy doorknob with hand painted roses, with a Victorian long plated silver keyhole. The sound of distant car door slamming snapped me out of my daze. I turned my head in the direction of the sound low and behold it was that same car. Crazy thing is I didn't see anyone by it.
Instinct guided me forward considering my brain was scrambling with worry. I ushered myself inside and it was as though I fell into a pink wonderland. From the pink carpet to the multicolored pink pinstripe wallpaper. Hot pink roses seemed to have been the main theme for the lobby. There were various black and silver picture frames with photos of pink roses hanging on every wall. On every surface my eyes could catch, red and pink plastic roses sat in circular olive green vases. It was certainly....something. I thought I was doing the most logical thing by coming inside, but it quickly dawned on me that I saw no one around.
"Hello?" I cautiously called out.
I paced myself as I walked up to the front desk, simultaneously looking around for any potential red flags. My right arm was going numb, my little guy was tiny but felt like I was lugging around a sack of potatoes. I wandered away from the desk to poke my head around the place. There was a entry way that led to a dinning area with a handful of seats adorned with of course pink table settings. I was standing next to a spiral staircase to what I assumed led to the rooms. There was only one door that held a sign for a bathroom. Perhaps there was a power outlet I could use long enough to charge my phone to call my dad.
The same door I walked in swung open and droplets of rain was blown in by the wind. A shiver rolled down my spine, sending a myriad of sparks that shot through my body. Turning around a strange sensation filled the pits of my stomach. It felt like butterflies and moths had taken up space there. Excitement and fear. I just stood completely mute like I had never seen a man before. Well to my defense I hadn't seen ones that look like him in my town. Without even seeing my reflection I had an inkling as to the state of my appearance. I was utterly perplexed by how he pulled off the kissed by an ocean look. To embarrass myself further of course my dog chose that moment to shake water off of his fur on to me.
"Really Coop?" I tried to hide my disgust, but he got it around the corner of my mouth! The good looking stranger offered a half smile that probably pitied my overall state.
"Is the black Kia parked out yours?" Even his voiced oozed sex appeal. He angled his frame so he could face me. There was about an arm length of distance between us. His eyes practically bore into my face I suppose waiting for me to say something. Must have been the buzzcut, the facial scuff, or the fact that some creep was still parked outside waiting to do who knows what. But my thoughts were not where they should have been.
I blinked and straightened up my posture. "Yeah why?" I finally answered.
It was a causal question, yet it felt completely random like there was something else to it.Neither of us spoke for a few seconds.The silence was so thick it would take a hacksaw to cut through.
"Well I'll be damned! I didn't think I would get to see you until after you got back from your trip in California." A woman most likely in her late sixties came rushing down the stairs for him. She draped her arms around his body clearly taking him by surprise. Her cotton candy colored pink bouffant made up for most of her height. Sebastian returned her embrace. Although it looked extremely awkward considering he stared at me the whole time and I stood there watching.
"Moe's old truck didn't give you too much trouble did it?" She asked.
"No it still got some life left in it." Sebastian's jaw went slack and he looked from her to me once more. Only this time he was looking at me with a cold glare. Realization suddenly crashed into me like a wild horse.
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3. More Than a Song
SERIES RATING: M (sex)
CHAPTER WORD COUNT: 9.7k
MASTERLIST | INSPO TAG | ASK
Y/N promised herself she would never date a musician. It was her one rule–her only rule, actually–when it came to dating. But then, Harry Styles rolled into her life and asked her to break it, just this once. And this is what happened.
a/n: prepare for ANGST! and dunkirk premiere harry aka one of his best looks ever :) also thank u to @havethetimeofyourstyles for making my line breaks bc i’m inept at making things xoxo
pls reblog to spread the word about only exception! 🥰
“Baby,” Harry said, turning to her from where he stood in his closet. “Can you help me with my collar? I can’t get it.”
Y/N set down her phone—she was ready first, which wasn’t surprising considering it took Harry ages to get ready, partially because he kept getting distracted with her. He’d touch her, run his hands all over her, ask if he could get her out of her lingerie, and she’d have to remind him that she’d barely even had it on and they had an important event. “Sure.”
Harry looked dashing—he always did. After much debate, they had decided on a simple white silk short-sleeved button down and a pair of flared black pants, cool enough for May in LA, but still perfectly Harry. Y/N had painted his nails last night a pastel purple while they had watched a documentary about sheep—which Harry had selected—and the color popped against the neutrals of the rest of the outfit. Shoes were still up in the air, but Y/N was trying to get him to wear the yellow loafers he’d gotten recently, the ones she was so obsessed with she was considering stealing for herself.
Somehow Harry always managed to mess up his collars before big nights, the nerves probably getting to him. Y/N smoothed the material on his shoulders to relax him before popping up his collar and folding it back down crisply. “There you go.” In the mirror in front of Harry, her eyes trailed down his body, from his sweet curls she had labored over styling in the bathroom, to the recently tailored pants he wore. She wrapped her arms around his waist and squeezed, a smile dancing onto Harry’s face at the action. “Nervous, bubs?”
He turned his head and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. “Bit. More for you to hear it than anyone else.”
The honesty of his statement brought butterflies to her tummy. Harry had been in and out of meetings for the past few months getting together the release of his debut album and putting the final touches on it, but at no point had he let her hear it. She suspected it was because he was scared she’d hate it, but when she asked her dad about it, he told her to think about it as his journal. His journal of a past that Y/N hadn’t been a part of. That had made Y/N understand a bit better, the prospect of being nervous of what she’d think of him more the worry than a worry of what she’d think of the music. So she nuzzled her nose into his shoulder, careful not to get lipstick on the fabric, and told him, “I’m going to love it. It’ll be perfect, just like you.”
Harry’s arms wrapped backwards so he could hold her to him and they stood there, holding one another, basking in each other’s presence before everyone else arrived. It had been a busy couple months for them to start a relationship—Y/N was swamped at work, her boss having left so she had to take on extra work, and Harry was releasing his album, Dunkirk was coming out in the summer, and his tour started in the fall. It was a lot to say the least, and Y/N tried not to think about it too often because she’d get all in her head and ignore Harry’s texts for hours until he called her and asked her if she wanted gummy worms or Hershey’s for movie night. Then, she’d remind herself that they were doing good—really good, even. Better than other relationships that she had been in for this long. Usually this was when she got bored, but with Harry she kept falling for him more and more every day they spent with each other.
He was like a drug, and she was addicted.
“We should head down,” Y/N said, brushing back from him. “Wear the yellow ones, yeah?”
He mumbled something under his breath about her being bossy and coming for Lambert’s job and she snorted, leaving him in the walk-in closet to straighten himself out. Her phone in her hand, she slipped on her heels, a summer sandal with a platform so her feet didn’t hurt, the perfect compliment to her flowing sundress she’d selected for the release party. When Harry had seen it he’d promptly asked if she could take it off so he could ravish her, so she decided it was a good choice. It emphasized her curves in a way that made her feel confident and she’d pinned her hair over one shoulder, the earrings Harry had gotten her for their three-month anniversary on display.
Re-emerging, Harry rolled his eyes over her body and she gave him a soft smile at the way his eyes screamed with desire. “See something you like?”
“Fuck yes,” he cursed. “Can’t wait to have you all to myself later.” Hands in hers, he pressed a searing kiss to her lips, the kind that made her toes curl, before pulling back. “C’mon, Azoff is yelling at me over text about being late to my own party.”
“It’s literally downstairs,” she pointed out. “He’s just mad he can’t embarrass you in front of your friends.”
Harry laughed, arm tucked around her waist as they descended the stairs of his house. He’d bought it at the end of February, a birthday gift to himself, and Y/N had thought to herself at the time that it wasn’t about her, it was about him. But it was kind of hard whenever he had her help him pick out all the furniture, making sure she approved of the colors he painted the walls and the patio furniture.
Downstairs, the party was in full force. Harry hadn’t invited too many people, mostly the same crowd as his birthday. Since it was at his house, he was hesitant to give the address out to too many people, but ultimately he wanted to be able to do whatever the fuck he wanted to celebrate, no paps around. Also, it was hot and he had a pool, so he had told everyone to bring a swimsuit just in case they wanted to take a dip. Y/N had persuaded him to keep it simple and they’d ordered pizza from his favorite place and she made some a ton of margaritas for everyone to help themselves to. Jeff was left in charge of the door when Harry was late finishing getting dressed, and she could tell that he had done a fine job. The tunes were going, people were drinking, and everyone seemed happy. He had even put the album countdown that Y/N had spent two hours making that morning on the TV.
“Stay close to me, please?” Harry asked her, bending his head to whisper in her ear when they reached the group.
Y/N nodded, and Harry began happily talking to Jeff. Y/N started up a conversation with another one of the Full Stop employees who had come who she’d met at a brunch a few weeks ago, plucking some details from her brain about her boyfriend to check-in about. Then, a familiar face flashed in the crowd. “Hanna!”
Harry had suggested the idea of inviting her best friends to the party and Y/N had leapt at the idea. The prospect of having her two favorite people be there with her to celebrate her boyfriend was her idea of a perfect night. Hanna’s red hair popped up, her smile giddy from seeing Y/N. Cutting through the crowd, she quickly made it to Y/N, who wrapped her best friend up in a tight hug.
“I’m so happy you’re here,” she said. “Find it okay?”
Hanna nodded. “Security at the gate did not want to let me in though. Jamie is on his way—Cole called while he was walking out the door.” Jamie and Cole had been together for years and Y/N decided the first time she met Cole that there wasn’t anyone better for Jamie, and Jamie seemed to agree. “How are you?”
“Amazing,” Y/N replied and she truly was. She felt like she was on cloud nine right now, the energy bouncing off of Harry absorbing into every one of her pores. “Excited to finally hear it.”
“You should be.” Hanna leaned over and tapped Harry on the shoulder.
His attention shifted from some work-related conversation with Jeff quickly over to his girlfriend’s best friend. “Oh, hello Hanna,” he said, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. “Thank you so much for coming.”
“No place I’d rather be,” Hanna replied. “Now can I steal Y/N?”
Harry’s eyes lingered on Y/N, but he gave her a warm smile. “‘Course.”
Y/N followed her best friend out onto the patio, giving hugs and saying hello to the friends of Harry’s she’d met during the past few months of them being together. Harry watched her with awe at how well she had fit into his life, she’d succeeded faster than any other girl he’d ever dated. The tidbits of information she remembered and the way she made an effort to be present in the conversations, her deep knowledge of music and the industry coming in handy. He loved having a girl at her side who knew what all of his team did without him having to explain it to her. It was small, but it made a difference to him.
“H,” Mitch said, pulling his gaze from his girlfriend back to the conversation he’d been having with Mitch, Adam, and Sarah. “You good?”
“Yeah,” he replied, taking a sip of the margaritas Y/N had made for the party. She’d slaved over them all day while he was on calls and doing interviews and he appreciated it so much. He reminded himself to tell her later when he had her alone and could tell her properly.
Sarah smiled at him knowingly. “He’s just looking at Y/N, as usual.”
Mitch and Adam chuckled, but Harry frowned. “Am I not allowed to look at my girl?”
“You are,” Adam said, “just be careful, mate. You told us about the rule, remember?”
The Rule. The goddamn rule that controlled this relationship more than he felt like he did, sometimes. He didn’t know how much Y/N thought about it at this point in their relationship, but then again it was still technically pretty early in the grand scheme of things. But for him, it was a constant reminder than their time together was fleeting, that at any point she might want to leave him, his lifestyle too hard. And it’s not that he blamed her. He just hated that it was a possibility. “I know.”
“How’s it going?” Adam pressed. Harry had been distant these past few weeks, holing himself up in the house with Y/N every chance he got when they weren’t rehearsing and he wasn’t on a call. It was hectic and he knew that his friends worried about him.
Harry took another sip of his margarita, eyes finding Y/N out on the patio laughing with Hanna, hair blowing in the wind. “Been good. She seems really happy,” he continued at the sight of her smile. “Bit nervous about tonight, if I’m being honest though.” He’d told Y/N the same thing, but the pit in his stomach still lingered. She had said she was excited, but he didn’t know how she would react to him releasing an album full of songs about his exes and flings.
They all got it though. “About which song?”
“All of ‘em,” he said nervously, and it was true. Y/N came into his life after the album was done, the idea of adding a song about her impossible. Even though he could’ve written dozens—he already had, the voice memos on his phone to prove it. Sometimes he’d sneak away to the bathroom while she slept to sing something that popped into his head, and the few that he’d shown the band they liked. It was all material for the next album, they told him. Some of them had even become full-fledged songs after a few hours locked in his office, but he hadn’t shared them yet. They still felt too raw.
Sarah reached out a hand and squeezed Harry’s shoulder. “She’ll get it, H. Her dad’s a musician, you know? If there was anyone who would understand, it would be her.”
And she was probably right. But there was a feeling in his gut that Harry couldn’t shake—that tonight wouldn’t end well for them. He’d felt it when he had woken up this morning and no matter how many time he kissed Y/N to make it go away, it lingered and it was making his brain go wild.
He hoped it was just the nerves.
The night passed quickly. There were speeches, a cake, Jeff pulled out a bottle of champagne, and Y/N had rejoined Harry at his side for the most part. And at this party, there was no question as to who she was—to everyone she was “Y/N, my girlfriend,” and Harry loved it. Particularly the look on her face that she would get every once in a while when her eyes caught his. He didn’t know what to call it, but he just knew that he felt the same way.
Before he knew it, it was 11:59 and everyone had gathered in the living room. The TV had the countdown on that Y/N had designed, the album cover with the numerical countdown over it, another bottle of champagne in Harry’s hand, ready to pop. Y/N stood a few people away from him, watching him with that look in her eyes that she’d been giving him all night that made him weak in the knees and made him curious what she would do to him when they were upstairs. He knew why Y/N was keeping her distance right now—she had mentioned it once before when they were curled up in bed after Harry asked her to be put down as a co-host for the party, that this success was his and his alone. That she was here at the end and she wanted it to be all his. She was here to support him and give him kisses after, but it was all his.
“10, 9, 8.” This was it. It was Harry’s debut album, his first solo record. It was weird for the rest of the guys to not be here when an album dropped. Usually, they were all standing together with bottles of champagne, ready to celebrate with one another.
“7, 6, 5, 4.” And Harry didn’t know which one was worse and which was better. Maybe they were both equally as wonderful, because he had other friends here to stand by his side. Jeff, Sarah, Mitch, Adam. James, floating around somewhere. His mum and sister tried to be here but Gemma got sick and Anna wanted to stay behind to take care of her.
“3, 2,” He had Y/N. He had Y/N’s excited expression, her wide eyes and flushed cheeks, the look of pride on her face that he treasured.
“1!” But this was his, his success, his win. With the first notes of the album playing in the room, he popped the bottle of champagne and with the bubbles running down the side of the bottle, he took a long swig.
Cheers went up around him, his best friends celebrating his biggest success of his career thus far, one he’d fought long and hard for. One he was immensely proud of and he hoped he would always look back on fondly. And the sound of his album blaring in his house’s sound system—the sound of Meet Me in the Hallway, it brought him to tears.
“Aww, man,” Adam brought him into a hug, patting Harry softly on his back. “Y/N! Come here!”
Y/N was there in an instant, wrapping Harry up in her arms, his head falling onto her shoulder, sobs wracking his body as they stood there. He didn’t even care that his friends were all there witnessing him crying into his girlfriend’s shoulder, he was just so overwhelmed.
“You okay, bubs?” Y/N asked, petting the back of his head softly.
“It’s a lot,” he replied softly, trying to find the words. “Happy. But also just…”
Her hands ran up and down his back, rubbing circles. “I know, baby. You don’t need to explain, okay?”
Harry didn’t reply, just tried to find his breath and stop the tears that were welling in his eyes. And when he did, he lifted his head and his lips met Y/N’s, the sound of whoops and cat-calls breaking out around them. The middle finger that Harry raised to them all did nothing to stifle them either. “Thank you,” he said into her hair when they broke.
The feeling of her lips on his neck, a soft kiss, brought him to his knees. “Always.”
And Harry hoped it was true.
While the rest of the party swirled around her—dancing had broke out, James had started making themed drinks, his favorite being the Sign of the Times one—Y/N sat right in front of the speaker, listening to every word of the album. It was her first time hearing it and she knew Harry would probably play it for her later, but she wanted to hear it now. She wanted to hear his pride and joy, the thing that had him beaming and laughing with his friends, belting out the lyrics with Mitch and Adam in a conga line that was worming its way through the room.
And what she heard broke her heart in so many ways.
Y/N knew that music, and much of art, stemmed from pain and hurt. A good amount of it was also about love, but the songs that were some of the rawest, the ones that hit home for most people, were the ones about our darkest moments. Harry’s album was full of them. Heartbreak, heartache, regrets, addiction to people and things. It was chock full of every one of his deepest darkest secrets, especially the women who he had loved before he met her. There was a part of her that knew that he would tell her in his own time about the stories of some of these women—he had mentioned a few when she’d asked about them—and that she didn’t need to push, but there was this disgusting, self-sabotaging part of her that wanted to know every sordid detail, even though she knew it would hurt her.
This was one of the many reasons she had always told herself she would never date a musician, but more importantly that she would never fall for one. Because their relationship, their joys and pitfalls, heartache and brightest moments, it was all fodder for a song, an album, a career. It wasn’t the artist’s fault, that’s how it worked, but that didn’t make it any easier to be the person they were writing about.
Was that all she was? Another girl for Harry to write a song about?
She wanted to be happy for him, to be glowing and beaming for him, but the part of her that she hated, the part that conjured the worst possible parts of people, it was crawling out of her head. It was twisting Harry and she knew it, but that didn’t mean she didn’t believe it.
The album only lasted 40 minutes, but in those 40 minutes the party died down. People had jumped in the pool while Y/N sat by the speaker, they had finished their drinks, they had said their goodbyes, the object of the event passed. Hanna and Jamie came over and gave her hugs, concerned looks on their faces, and told her to call them if she needed anything. When she looked up, the last notes of From the Dining Table fading, it was just her left.
A light from the patio twinkled and she could see the water rippling under the moonlight. Harry.
She left the stereo silent, not cuing up another playlist, and tugged off her shoes, then her dress. Following the pull of the man who had written such a beautiful, heartbreaking, hopeful record, she walked to the patio.
“There you are.” He was floating on his back in just his boxers, which didn’t surprise Y/N in the slightest. The fairy lights they had strung up together were dim in the nighttime darkness, but just bright enough so she could see Harry and all his beauty. “Look bloody gorgeous, love.”
Y/N tucked her hair into a loose bun at the nape of her neck, knotting the hair so it stayed. “Finished the album,” she said, walking to the water’s edge.
“Yeah?” Harry swam over to her, leaning his head on her thighs that rested on the concrete that lined the pool. “What’d you think?”
She couldn’t help the heartbroken smile that graced her features, because she was too tired to lie to him. Exhausted from trying to pretend that she didn’t think about the fact that he could leave her at any moment, that the insecurities of who she was and who he was didn’t catch up to her sometimes. His fingertips brushed at her cheeks and Y/N realized she was crying.
“Y/N? What’s wrong?” He hoisted himself out of the water and hooked one of his legs around her waist, pulling her into his wet skin. It was cold against the night air, but somehow Harry was still warm to her.
“I don’t know how to say this,” she said slowly, struggling to find her words.
Fingers drifted up and down her back. “Just do your best.”
She tried not to think about the fact that she was crying on his album release day, that they were having this conversation now. One that sat in the back of her mind when she was alone and Harry couldn’t banish it. “The album is beautiful, Harry,” she started, “but it’s about a past that I wasn’t a part of.” Harry was quiet, but his arms didn’t move from their place around her, so she forged on. “I know that artists write from their experience, and that this album was done before I met you, but there’s this part of me, this horrible part that I utterly despise, that is jealous of them. The women who you wrote about. And the fact that it’s them that you’re going to sing about on stage every night. Does that make sense?”
The brush of his chin against her spine showed her that yes, he understood.
“And,” she continued, voice breaking, “I can’t stop thinking about the fact that maybe I’m going to be a song.”
“Of course you’re going to be a song,” Harry said, his voice soft and sweet.
He didn’t get it. To him, being a song was an honor, but to her, it was a threat almost. “No—it’s that I’m going to be only a song.”
The man next to her didn’t say a word. The chirp of the crickets stretched between their bodies, which were still close on the concrete floor, not a muscle moved.
“I don’t want to only be a song.” Y/N’s voice was hoarse, sobs wracking her body she didn’t expect, didn’t want. She couldn’t have this conversation if she was crying, but she couldn’t hold them in either. It was her biggest fear, the one that festered below all of the others, threatening to consume the relationship she had with a man she was falling for. And falling was the only way to describe it—without any support, a free fall that was utterly terrifying but also blissful peaceful.
Suddenly, his fingers swept across her neck, brushing against her sensitive skin. “Y/N,” he whispered, “you could never be just a song. You’re—you’re like the stars and the moon to me. In that room I could always feel you, wherever you were, and I didn’t want to be anywhere where you weren’t. And maybe this is too fast and too soon, but what I feel for you, fuck Y/N how can you not see how much you are to me?”
He pulled her head so she faced him, his eyes teary to match her own. “Do you hear me? You’re so much more than a song. You’re an album. You’re my life’s work, my masterpiece, a symphony. A song can’t contain how I feel for you, it’s just a piece of a billion I could write.”
Soft as a feather, his lips pressed to her cheeks and then up and across her forehead, over her eyelids, barely leaving a mark but a searing fire in his wake that shook Y/N’s core. “And Y/N, you’re better than a song. You’re my life. You’re here, you’re real, you’re with me. Y/N, you will never be just a song to me. You never could be. Not to me.”
Y/N rested her forehead against his, inhaling his cologne and exhaling her feelings for him. He managed to rip down all her defenses, the ones she had spent years building up, and it was frightening. But then she looked at him, the way he smiled at her, the way he kissed her, the way he said her name, and it wasn’t quite as scary. She hoped he could feel how much she cared for him in the way she kissed him, their tears blending into one as they scrambled for each other. Lips breaking and meeting, desperate for more and more and more. Her fingers gripped the back of his head, holding him to her, wanting to have his whole body imprinted on hers.
“Y/N,” he breathed, “you heard me? You understand?”
“Yes,” she replied softly, “I hear you.” She brushed her fingers through his hair gently, curling the wet strands back. “You may need to remind me sometimes.”
“Always,” he whispered, catching her kiss with his own, tugging her into him, arms around her body in a vice grip.
She lost herself in Harry, him an ocean and her a boat lost at sea. Maybe it was their conversation or the night or the alcohol flowing through their veins, but it felt different. The way he kissed her felt heavier, her moans a prayer, his fingers on his back a weight she never wanted lifted. Her legs wrapped around his waist so she was firmly in his lap, arms thrown over his shoulders, their bare bodies except for their underwear pressed against each other without a molecule of air between them.
His lips drew a line across the top of her shoulder, a fire building in her belly as his fingers fumbled with the clasp of her bra. It was a light pink she’d worn just for him and when he nudged at the strap with his nose, letting it slip from her shoulders, she didn’t care that he could barely see it. She’d show him tomorrow morning. He pulled the fabric away and bent his head, licking at one of her nipples and then the other, gasps falling from her mouth like poetry. Without meaning to, her hips rolled over his cock, the thin fabric of their underwear doing nothing to keep the heat of her center from touching his sensitive skin.
He moaned her name, the sound muffled against her neck as he sucked a love bite into the spot that made her keen every time he nipped into it. She rocked again on him, his fingers digging into her skin so hard it would leave marks tomorrow but she didn’t care. In fact, she wanted to have his marks on her tomorrow, she wanted to show the world that she wasn’t just a song, she was his, she was his girlfriend and she made him feel this way.
Hands on skin, he pressed her down onto the concrete so she was lying down, her ankles tucked around his hips, anchoring her to him. When his hips bucked into hers, she let out a sharp cry, the angle brushing her clit perfectly. “Right there?” He mumbled, nipping and tugging on her nipple, laving a circle that left her squirming against the concrete.
“Off,” she whispered, tugging at his boxers with her hands. “Wanna feel you.” With his help, they shimmied off his boxers without too much difficulty and Y/N let out a sigh of relief when she could feel his cock brush against her covered folds. Reaching a hand down, she brushed the pad of her thumb across his tip, a pained hiss flying from Harry’s throat. He was sensitive and Y/N loved it.
They didn’t have a condom, but she didn’t care. She’d been on birth control for years and she knew Harry hadn’t slept with anyone else since she found her way into his life. Plus, she needed him—she wanted to feel him, raw and bare inside of her.
They were going to have sex on the concrete next to his pool, but she didn’t care. They had had sex before and they would have sex again. She just needed him in a desperate, crawling way. When he nudged at her underwear she pressed into him, letting him pull them down her legs without a second thought.
“Condom,” Harry mumbled as she chased after his lips, open mouthed and heavy.
“It’s okay,” she said, fingers digging into his shoulder blades. “Want you like this.”
Harry’s head dropped to the space between her neck and shoulder, the groan that filled the air unlike anything she had heard before. “Gonna ruin me,” he whispered, brushing his cock against her folds. Y/N whimpered at the sensation, her fingers begging him for more, for anything she would give him. When his fingers brushed her clit, his name tumbled from her lips without abandon.
“Harry, please,” she panted, fingers deep in his hair.
That was all it took. She was so wet from the foreplay and just him that he didn’t even need to stretch her out. Her mouth fell open as he pushed inside, a mewl landing on his lips as he kissed her. Slowly, he pulled out and then back in, both of them groaning from the sensation of him being bare inside her. He felt impossibly close, every ridge and edge of him pressing against her in the most perfect way. She didn’t know if she could use condoms again, because holding Harry to her chest, arms around his shoulders as he fucked slowly, deeply, into her, her able to feel every inch of her, it was bliss on a new level. A sensation she didn’t know she was missing with him.
Her ankles hitched higher on his hips and when he pushed back in he hit a new angle, a groan ripping from his throat that set her on fire. “Can I go faster?” He said with a grunt. “I—I don’t know how much—“
“Yes,” she whimpered at his words.
He didn’t wait. He drew back and into her, pistoning his hips at a pace she couldn’t even describe, hitting that spot deep inside of her that made her eyes roll back over and over. How he managed to do that she didn’t know, but he deserved an award. Fingers grabbing at his skin in desperation for something to hold her together, Y/N gasped and exhaled his name, a plea and a beg and a prayer all in one. Her back hurt from the concrete but she didn’t care, she just wanted to finish, to feel him release deep inside of her.
Then he thumbed over her clit and she arched up, back leaving the concrete as the fire deep within her threatened to bubble over. When he start brushing circles there, Y/N gripped his shoulders like they would keep her anchored to Earth, her body possibly transcending. Harry bent his head and sucked a love bite on her breast, the puncture of skin forcing her head back, unable to keep it together.
“You close?” He asked, littering her chest with kisses, “Please tell me you are, I can’t, I can’t hold on…”
She mumbled a yes as he drove deep inside of her, swiveling his hips in a brutal way that left her hands squeezing his butt cheeks to get him to do it again. When he did, she swore she saw stars. “Gonna come,” she said, eyes searching for his lips in the low lighting. “Kiss?”
Without hesitation, he kissed her, open mouthed and dirty and sloppy and perfect. She wanted every rough-edged and sweet part of him, every kiss and press of his body against hers. “Y/N, Y/N, Y/N,” he chanted as he pressed into her again and again, her body drawing tighter and tighter. Then, he pinched her clit and she came, the ball in her tummy unravelling, hips bucking up against him as she rode out her high. Her eyes stayed trained on him as she did, not wanting to miss his face when he came inside of her.
His hips stuttered, release unloading inside of her in ropes that left him cursing like a sailor. Hair wet and sweaty, sticking to his forehead, and irises blown out, he looked beautiful. She held him close until his body settled, shaking as he came down from his high, forehead resting on the swell of her breasts.
Slowly, he rolled off of her, tugging her body into his so she wasn’t on the cold concrete anymore. He was fiery hot and it kept her warm in the cold air. “Can we never use a rubber again?” He asked softly, and she giggled, hiding her face in his neck.
“Don’t see any reason to,” she replied and he hummed with joy. Tucking her hands under her chin, she looked at him with a smile. “Congrats on your album, baby.”
He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear tenderly. “I’m so happy I shared today with you.” She kissed him softly and let him hold her close, not wanting to move even to go to bed because it meant leaving his grasp. And as much as her head told her that it wasn’t forever, she couldn’t help but hope it would be.
It had been four days since Harry had texted her. Five since he called her. Six since they FaceTimed.
He was in London for the press junket for Dunkirk and Y/N was supposed to fly out for the July 13th premiere—it was decided a month ago, the tickets booked and her time off from work already approved. But as the days stretched on and the silence grew longer, she couldn’t help but wonder if something was wrong. If she had done something wrong.
It wasn’t the first time he had been away from LA. They had a conversation about how they were going to handle distance when he travelled back in April, before the album came out and he had to fly around and do press for two weeks. That time, though, he handled it well—he called every night before she went to bed if he could, if not, he sent a long voice memo that she listened to when she woke up. They texted all day, him sending photos from dressing rooms and backstage at talk shows, even FaceTiming her so she could meet the stars he shared the nights with.
But this time was different. Since he left he had texted her just a handful of times and it was when he was at his mom’s house visiting home before press started. And then once press kicked into gear, he was gone, her texts ignored, calls not returned. She was trying not to seem desperate, but with the more time that passed the more anxious she got. It wasn’t how this was supposed to go, this wasn’t what they’d agreed on. He knew her fears, the dark thoughts that crowded in when she spent too much time worrying about their relationship, and yet he wasn’t taking the actions that helped her calm down. Even though she knew it wasn’t his responsibility to take care of her brain, it helped to know he thought about her, at the very least.
The morning before her flight was supposed to leave, she called Hanna in a panic. Her suitcases laid open on her bed, clothes scattered around her, tears streaming down her face. She had tried to call Harry again to confirm her arrival plans, only to be met with his voicemail, again.
Hi, you’ve reached Harry. I’ll give you a call back when I can!
Somehow, the sound of his voice made it worse.
“Han,” she choked out when her friend picked up, “I don’t know what to do.”
“Did he not answer?” Hanna had been counseling her through the whole thing, helping her stay calm and sane, as much as possible at least. From Y/N’s lack of response, just more sobs, Hanna knew immediately. “That prick.”
Y/N wiped a tear from her eye and looked at the ticket in her hand. Harry had forced her to accept his offer of first-class, booking her flight through his agent and everything. “Does he even want me there? Should I not go?”
Hanna was quiet, thoughts rolling through her head. “No,” she finally said. “You should go. Even if it’s just to talk to him in person. You deserve to hear it face-to-face, not by him ghosting you.”
“Even if that means I end up in London and he breaks up with me?”
“Yes,” Hanna replied softly. “But I really, really hope that is not what’s happening.”
At first it had been that he was busy, that he would text when he had time, but it had been six days. Now, both Y/N and Hanna were increasingly worried that it meant the end of their relationship and Y/N was simply not ready for that possibility. She had let Harry in—he had begged her to let him in—and he was going to end things like this? When things got hard with the distance he just…cut her out? “Can you take me to the airport?” Y/N asked, sniffling. “If you don’t I don’t think I’ll be able to force myself to go.”
“Was already planning on it,” Hanna replied. “I’ll bring snacks for the flight.”
“Love you,” Y/N told her. Hanna was her one constant, who knew Y/N better than she knew herself.
“Love you more. Now go finish packing and call me if you need me, okay?”
Y/N told her okay and hung up, her gaze shifting to her suitcase. If he was going to break up with her, then she was going to look so magnificent he would regret every second of it.
Eleven hours in the air meant plenty of time to run over her entire relationship with Harry. She had sat curled up in her seat scrolling through her camera roll and listening to Bon Iver, which was the sappiest thing possible and she didn’t care. Y/N didn’t want to break up with him and the photos and the texts and the memories proved it. Her time with Harry had been so beautifully bright, his presence in her life making so much better, from her confidence to her knowledge to her music taste. And she cared about him in a way she hadn’t let herself do—ever.
She had texted Jeff before she took off, telling him she couldn’t get a hold of Harry and asking where she should go when she landed. He replied with Harry’s Hampstead address and the door code, saying there was a key waiting for her, hidden in the garden, an apology on Harry’s behalf for how busy he had been. The words meant nothing, though, to Y/N. If Harry wanted to apologize he would have to do it in person, not through Jeff.
It was eleven by the time her Uber pulled up to Harry’s house and she thanked the driver as he tugged her luggage from the boot. She waited until he pulled away before she typed in the gate code, not wanting to reveal Harry’s security to anyone—she have been mad at him, but she still didn’t want anything happening to him. The door unlocked for her and she slid inside, shutting it quickly behind her. Pulling her suitcase behind her, she walked up the path, searching for the garden statue Jeff had told her the key was hiding under. When she found it, her fingers ran across the ridges as she made her way to the front door.
His house in LA was warm, it was the Harry she knew. But this house felt colder, the design modern, his personal affects not as visible. Although to his credit, he hadn’t been here for more than a few days in months. A few photos of Anne and Gemma were scattered through the front hall, some framed photos of his time in One Direction nestled between them.
“Harry?” She knew he wasn’t there, but the idea of walking into his house without checking felt too uncomfortable for her. She locked the door tightly behind her, typing in the security code Jeff had sent before re-arming it.
Y/N took her time exploring his house. She perused the main spaces, testing out the couches and peeking at his bookcases, studying the art lining the walls. Then she made her way upstairs to the bedrooms, running her fingers along the edges of his One Direction album plaques that lined the walls of his office, the ones from his debut still resting on the floor waiting to be hung. She found the guest bedrooms with ease and she spent a good five minutes standing on the landing deciding if she should go into his bedroom or set herself up in a guest one.
She settled on a guest bedroom. If he was going to break things off, she didn’t want to know what his bed felt like or smell his clothes or take a shower in his bathroom.
Instead, she showered in the guest bath, washing off the plane smell that lingered on her body. She dressed in shorts and a tank top, letting her hair air dry since she would have to just re-style it for the premiere later. Jeff hadn’t told her what time Harry would be back and she was ravenous, so she wandered downstairs to fix herself some lunch. To fill the silence in the house she turned on The 1975, playing the music from her laptop she had open on the counter as she cooked some pasta she had found in the cabinet. As she ate at his dining table, she tried not to think about the fact that this could be the last time she was in a space of Harry’s. The last time she sat on things he had picked out, the last time she rooted through his fridge, past his obnoxious green juices and leftovers since he hated eating out if he didn’t have to. Her fingers brushed at her eyes, trying to stop the tears that threatened to fall down her cheeks.
Reaching down for her fork to take another bite, she suddenly heard the lock click in the front door and the security system begin to beep.
He was home.
She slid her bowl away from her and turned to look at the doorway, waiting to see his face for the first time in over a week. And when he appeared, she couldn’t the return the stretched across his face at the sight of her in his house. He looked the same and somehow that was worse. In a nice shirt from interviews this morning, his hair slightly tossed from running his fingers through it, the sheen on his upper lip from the heat outside. He looked like her Harry, but she didn’t know if he was hers anymore.
“Y/N!” His voice rebounded off the walls, filling her heart with a kind of hope that was crushing.
“Hi,” was all she could muster before looking back down at her pasta. An anger rose in her, replacing the hurt that had lingered for so many days. How could he pretend like everything was okay? How could he smile at her like he hadn’t been ignoring her for days, too busy to even check and see how her flight was?
His footsteps were heavy on the hardwood floors as he made his way over to her. “Baby? What is it?”
“Do you want to break up?” She asked, her question hard compared to his kind, gentle, tentative tone.
“What?” Harry dropped into the seat caddy-corner to the chair she sat in. “What are you talking about?”
She pushed away her bowl and looked him dead in the eye. “I haven’t heard from you in days, Harry. Days. I flew halfway across the world for you and you couldn’t even manage to check-in to see if I was alive?”
He flinched at her words, eyes dropping to the table they sat at. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, words barely audible above her heart beating a mile a minute, pulsing with anger.
“That’s not going to cut it,” she told him, standing up and taking her bowl to the sink. “You fucking ghosted me like I was a girl you’d just met. We’re about to celebrate six months together. And you know what this shit does to me.”
And he did. She could see in his eyes that he knew he was in the wrong, and yet he was quiet. “I was busy.”
“So was I! But I still found two seconds to text you asking how it was going, I found fifteen minutes before bed to call you, and I kept trying even though you couldn’t even manage to reply to me. You’re not that busy, Harry.”
He stood too, walking over to where she stood in his kitchen so that he was a few paces away from her. “I was in and out of interviews from morning to night and when I wasn’t, I was with the cast who I haven’t seen in almost a year. And when I wasn’t doing that Jeff was harassing me about tour details or I was sleeping. I’m sorry if my schedule didn’t allow me to talk to you at every second of the day, Y/N, but this is a huge moment for me and I had to focus on that.” His words were measured, but she could feel the tension rising between them, words unsaid bubbling over.
“And your career is more important than our relationship.” She nodded sarcastically, wiping her wet palms on the dish towel and turning to face him. “Got it, heard loud and clear.”
“Fuck—you know it’s not!” His hand ran through his locks and down his face, struggling to get a handle on his breathing.
“Harry,” she said, trying not to yell, “I’m not going to force you to stay in a relationship that you don’t want to put the time in for. But you know exactly what I need from you—I have been very clear. You know my fears and my insecurities, and you know what triggers them. We had a plan for how to deal with this, and you completely disregarded it!” Her voice rose at the end, the fact that he couldn’t even meet her eyes pushing all of her buttons. “Fucking look at me when I talk to you!”
His eyes met hers and she didn’t see the Harry she knew, the Harry who cared for her, the soft, gentle man. Instead, she saw someone who was pissed off and hurt and grasping at straws. “I can’t dance around your fears every moment of the day,” he said, voice spitting anger. “And I’m sorry if that breaks one of your rules,” the word hitting her in the face, “but you’re going to have to get over it because I can’t spend every second of the day wondering if something I did or said has made you think I don’t care about you! You should know that I don’t want to hurt you, that of course I want to be with you!”
“Well, how am I supposed to know if you don’t tell me!” His words stabbed her right where it hurt, hitting her fears right in the heart.
Harry turned, his body facing the counter, fingers gripping the edge of the marble. He sucked in breath after breath trying to calm himself down and Y/N tried to find it within herself to have sympathy for him, but she just…couldn’t. She was so pissed off at him she couldn’t think straight.
“I’m not some girl waiting around for Harry Styles to come home, begging him to never leave me,” Y/N said. She was done. She was done with this fight, with him expecting her to be someone she wasn’t. “I’m me and I’m waiting for Harry, the person I care for so deeply it hurts—you are held to the same standards as every other guy, no matter how busy your schedule is. I should not be expected to fit into your schedule all the time. It goes both ways and you operated this week as if it was entirely my job to stay in touch with you. And I am not going to stay in a relationship like that.”
Harry’s head whipped to hers, eyes boring straight into her. “Are you saying you want to break up?”
Y/N tried to keep her head high, tried to hold back the tears. “If you’re going to do this when you’re on tour, I’m done. You know what I want—it’s the same thing I wanted from this relationship the moment I met you. You’re the only one who seems to think things have changed.” And with that, she stormed out of the room, which was probably petty but she didn’t care. She was so mad at him for his actions and his words that she couldn’t stand to be in the same room as him.
Harry didn’t follow her.
At 1 o’clock, a knock came on her door.
“If you still want to come, we have to leave for the premiere in an hour. It’s up to you.” And with that, he walked away, not even waiting for her to open the door.
She sat on the bed, considering her options. Did she go and support him anyway, pretend everything was fine? Or did she stay here—or maybe find a hotel—and leave him alone for the premiere?
He had told her how nervous he was about this. This was his first time on a movie red carpet as an actor and he was freaking out about it before he left, a ball of anxiety that she had to carefully untangle. The thought of him being up there alone pained her, despite how his hurtful words lingered in her head. That she had to get over it as if it was that simple.
The red dress she had bought for the premiere hung in the bathroom where she had left it while she showered so the wrinkles would leave the fabric. It was beautiful—a tiered taffeta skirt that cinched in at the waist, a caged bodice showing off her shoulders. When she had tried it on she had felt beautiful, powerful, as if she could take on anything and everything. She had spent a ton of money on the dress and she didn’t want to waste it.
So she got up, turning on BANKS and set about her hair and makeup in the bathroom, praising Hanna for teaching her how to do her makeup in college. She painted her lips red, in the shade that she adored wearing, and twisted up her hair into a chignon that emphasized her neck. Running her fingers along the skin she remembered when Harry had kissed it, but the love bite he had left behind was long healed. Was she asking too much of him? She wondered as she looked at herself in the mirror. Was he right, were her fears stifling him?
Then she remembered what Hanna had told her. That he wasn’t anyone different from other guys she had dated, and what she was asking from him wasn’t out of left field. Any guy she would date she would except to check in with her when he was traveling and Harry was no different, no matter what his job was.
Harry was waiting downstairs for her, probably having heard her rummaging around in the closet. When he heard her heels on the stairs, he looked up and his eyesight on her skin burned because he looked gorgeous. Maybe this was a horrible idea, she thought as she made her way towards him. She would have to touch him all night, look at him in his tailored suit, gaze into his green eyes as they were photographed on the red carpet.
“You look beautiful,” he said, words gravelly in his throat.
She stopped a few paces away from him. “Thanks.”
He fiddled with his keys, the silence stretching between them. “Thank you for coming with me. I know you have no reason to, but having you there…It means a lot.”
Instead of replying, because she didn’t have words for him, she just nodded. Because she did have a reason—even though she was mad at him, she still cared for him. Despite not wanting to, she still craved him giving her a kiss on the cheek as they walked out the door.
The drive to the red carpet was quiet, the radio playing softly in the background the only sound. They sat on either side of the backseat, Y/N staring out the window while Harry fiddled with his phone. She hadn’t been to London since she was 18 for her graduation present from her mom, and the city held warm memories for her. She wondered if that would change after today.
When they pulled up, an anxiety Y/N didn’t know she was holding started building, the sight of the photographers and the screams from the fans barricaded in. With all that had been happening, she had somehow forgotten what going to the premiere meant for her. Her eyes fell to Harry who was staring at her, trying to gauge her reaction. She had never done this before and he knew that.
“I’ll be with you the whole time,” he said, trying to calm her fears. “Promise.” It helped. At least she wouldn’t be completely alone. “Ready?” He stretched out a hand to her and she took it, letting him help her from the car.
The second her feet hit the pavement, the screams got louder. Fans with signs and their phones outstretched on either side of the wide red carpet, the word DUNKIRK in large white letters closest to the entrance to the theater. Harry’s hand gripped her as she stood, thankful for his body to help her keep balanced.
“Just smile as best you can,” he whispered in her ear as the car pulled away behind them. “And if your eyes start hurting from the flashes, just look at me, okay?”
Y/N nodded, and with his hand in hers, fingers entertained, they made their way down the carpet. He stopped a few times to take photos with fans and sign cards, but all that time he never strayed too far from Y/N’s side. With his arm securely wrapped around her waist, they stood for photos, Y/N trying to stand up as straight as she could and smile sweetly. Harry was a pro at this, a smile practiced for years, but she didn’t have the same experience. She was just a regular person who didn’t know which side was her bad side and had her eyes closed in half her photos.
The cameramen screamed questions at them, about their relationship, if they were married. They’d never quite publicly announced their relationship, Harry preferring to keep his private life private, so this was the first time they’d ever even publicly been out as a couple. And for it to be like this…Y/N hated it. She wanted to stand there and be utterly infatuated with Harry like she usually was, but this time her spine was rimrod straight, trying to keep her emotions in check. It was awkward, the way he tentatively touched her body, not wanting to overstep but also wanting to present the aura of normalcy.
Then they took a few steps and rotated to another set of cameras and Y/N understood what Harry had meant about her eyes hurting from the flashes. She turned her head to him and he found her eyes, giving her a wide smile meant just for her. Without thinking about it, her hand pressed to his suit right over his heart, the soft material of his suit jacket butter under her fingers. Then, he leaned in and pressed a kiss to her cheek, softly and sweetly and to most it wouldn’t have meant much. But to Y/N, it was the first time he had kissed her since she’d seen him. And the feeling of his lips on her skin lingered, a tingle moving through her body. Her hand gripped his back a little tighter and he just kept smiling at her, utterly entranced by her eyes.
Their bodies had betrayed them. To anyone who looked, they would have seen perfectly fine, not that they had been fighting only two hours ago. But they knew the reality, and this moment, their bodies close together and emotions running through them without being able to stop it, it made it clear that neither of them wanted to break up. They would just have to find a way to move through it.
TAGLIST
@smokeinherperfume @afire-hes @harryinsweatersandbandanas @marinalima3 @havethetimeofyourstyles @ursogoldenshan @inmygardensuit @marinalima3 @amaridon @harrys-watermelons @dontgiveupthedayjob @cronias13 @apples2019 @laula843 @afterstylesmadeit @kait-brin @harrys-watermelons @groovybaybee @clumsywithlove93 @1142590m @erin0717 @ketchuplukehemmo
Would you like to know when I update The Only Exception? Let me know here!
NEXT CHAPTER COMING JULY 11TH @ NOON CST
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Day 2: 28th of January, 2021
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The stylist patiently told me with that gentle voice of hers to please tilt my head in a specific way. Her hands softly guided me, and I imagined my tense neck muscles creaking and cracking as they jerkily moved.
God bless this woman, I thought sincerely. For the past couple of hours she had been nothing but kindness even though I was stiff as a board, and getting worse as time went by and recording got closer.
I seldom logged into social media, and it turned out that the day I did, there was some dumb contest trending. The prize was a spot in a popular variety show. Or was it a game show? Truth is, I don't even watch it. But the captions said Seventeen, TXT, and BTS would be guests, so I decided to participate, because why the hell not?
Now that I was sitting on the stylist chair, watching people hurriedly pass by, hands shaking, and heart thundering in my chest, I could finally answer that question. Why the hell not participate? Because you might win. That's why. Winning should've been a good thing, right? But instead I was so nervous I'd probably pass out. And guess what, since I won the damn contest, I'd get to pass out right in front of the three bands I admired the most in my life.
Yay!
NOT.
A familiar voice rang out through the room and brought me out of my mind.
"I was waiting with everyone else in a room, but I got lost. Where am I? Can you tell me where the other hyungs are waiting?"
My eyes widened so much, so fast, they literally hurt. No. It couldn't be him. Please. It can't be him!
"Minghao-ssi, how did you end up here? Seventeen-sunbaenim are nowhere near here."
Yes! It was him! And the one that had spoken so casually with him was none other than the stylist-unnie working on me. I was crying silent tears in my heart as I saw Minghao, and I mean THE Minghao, the crazy talented singer and rapper from Seventeen, smile at my stylist. No, please, Haohao, don't smile like that, you're blinding me.
"Noona!" He said excitedly, coming closer. "Finally a familiar face."
"You brat, how do you manage to get lost each and every single time?"
"Noona, it's not my fault. I just went to the bathroom, and then when I came out, I couldn't remember the way back. If the bathroom had been closer to the room, this wouldn't have happened!"
"Haaa~," the stylist-unnie sighed, "Fine, I'll take you back to your room. Either way, I'm done with her now, and she needs to wait in the same room."
"Oh." And just like that, thanks to unnie, Minghao's focus was now on me. I felt myself shrink about one meter under the pressure of his stare. "Sunbae will be waiting in the same room as us?"
Oh my God. Sunbae. As if I'm some very important person to be called sunbae by THE Minghao. I'm gonna die. And Haohao will be the cause of death.
"Yes, she is the one that won the contest. She will be participating in the games and recording the show with you all today."
The stylist gave me a look after a few seconds of silence had gone by and I understood that I was supposed to introduce myself now. Crap. I bowed quickly.
"U-uhh... N-nice to meet you Mi-Mi-Minghao-ssi, my name is... U-uh... H-Hyemin. P-please take care of me!" Jesus, I was so nervous I was stuttering all over the place. What the hell was I supposed to do when I met the rest of Seventeen, not to mention TXT and BTS?
"Ah, I see. Nice to meet you too, Hyemin-noona. Please take care of me too." Minghao bowed as well and smiled that blinding smile again, and I had to resist the urge to outwardly squint, so I could only cry in my heart. Ahhh~ Haohao, I thought I told you not to smile at me like that. Are you really trying to kill your noona?
"Ah~ So you can talk!" The stylist-unnie interjected, giving me a gentle smile. "Well, then you'll be alright. None of these brats bite, I swear."
"YAH!"
The loud scream suddenly resounded through the room and everyone jumped. Afterwards, a very angry Wonwoo, I mean THE fucking Wonwoo, rapper and singer for Seventeen as well, walked over to Minghao.
"Minghao-yah! It's been an hour since you supposedly went to the bathroom! I've been looking for you for ages!"
Oh my God... That thick low voice of his was no joke. It really did sound all grave and sexy. In fact, if anything, on camera it sounded higher that it actually was.
"Hyung," Minghao said trying not to smile, while the rest of the people in the room tried and failed to hold in their laughter. "Hyung, I got lost."
"You always get lost," Wonwoo said as he rolled his eyes, finally calming down now that he'd found Haohao. "Come on, let's go back to the room. I know the way."
Quickly, before I could react, the stylist grabbed me by the arms and pushed me towards Wonwoo.
"Ah! Since you're going back to the waiting from Wonwoo-ssi, please bring Hyeminnie with you."
Stylist-unnie, I'll die if I meet the rest of them. Either my heart will stop or I'll die of embarrassment, whichever happens first. So could you be a little less enthusiastic about killing me?
"Hye... Min...?" Wonwoo asked in confusion looking at me.
"Hyung, this is Hyemin-noona, she will be filiming and participating in the games with us. She won the contest." Minghao walked over to Wonwoo and gave me a smile. Haohao, what did I say? WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT SMILING AT ME LIKE THAT?
Okay, time to introduce myself again. And I just had to do this about... twenty more times. Yay.
"H-hello, Wonwoo-ssi, I'm Hyemin and I'm 27 years old. It's a pleasure to meet you. Please take care of me," I said as I bowed.
"Ah, nice to meet you Hyemin-noona. It's nice to meet you too. Please take care of me too," Wonwoo said bowing and then hitting me with his signature fox smile.
My heart...! My heart! I can't take this! I'm gonna die before the day's even over!
"Oh, Wonwoo-ssi, I wanted to ask, who all are coming today, do you know?"
"Well... There's only five of us. From TXT-hubae only two came, and from BTS-sunbaenim only four came."
Well, that meant I only had to die nine more times. It's something!
"Ah, I see, I see. Okay then, go on to the waiting room. They'll start filming any moment now and it won't be good if you're not there." The stylist-noona smiled at us, and when her eyes settled on me, she winked.
"Yes, thank you for taking care of Minghao-yah." Wonwoo bowed formally.
"Indeed, thank you noona," Minghao said bowing as well.
"Th-thank you unnie for doing my make-up and taking care of me." I was really very grateful to her. Even though she actively tried to kill me, she also helped smooth some of the interactions over. I wished my words could express it better.
"No need, no need. Now, go on, go on. You're making noona blush with all your bowing and formality."
Without saying anymore, Wonwoo stood up straight, smiled and then turned to leave. Minghao and I followed his example, and all three of us began walking towards the waiting room.
"So, Hyemin-noona, we should get to know a bit about each other if we're gonna be playing games together. The information will be of good use. Either to know your game comrade better, or to know your enemy," Minghao said with a laugh.
It seemed like he really was the social butterfly he appeared to be on camera.
"U-Uhh... What do you wanna know?" I asked awkwardly, wanting to hide behind my hair, but not daring to touch it after unnie had styled it. If I ruined the hair-do I'd just make more work for her.
"What does noona do? Do you have a job?" Wonwoo interjected before Minghao could even begin to think.
Minghao shot him an arched eyebrow and a smug smile. Wonwoo blushed and looked forward again as he cleared his throat.
"I'm curious too," he said shyly.
For the first time that day I laughed. Look at Wonwoo, THE Wonwoo, get all shy and uncomfortable because he wanted to know more about me in a respectful way and couldn't seem to find the way to do it.
"That's okay. I can tell you. I work at a book store, but my passion, what I do as soon as I get home, is writing," I began to explain.
As the three of us, and then the twelve of us when I met the rest of the guys, talked, laughed, teased and joked around, I finally realized I'd made a mistake.
Somewhere along the way, probably sometime this morning as I was getting ready to come to the studio, I had forgotten that these guys where real. I had forgotten they were human beings, with emotions and mistakes. They were as nervous as me probably, and that was something I didn't even consider possible a few hours ago. However, now I remembered: they're all as imperfect as me. There's nothing to be afraid of.
.
.
Prompt:
2. Write a story based on a dream you had.
.
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About a week ago I finally finished bookbinding @airdeari‘s beautiful Zero Escape fic The First Nonary Game. It took about a month (between all the waiting for glue to dry and also several days each week when I was unable to work on it), and was so much fun! It’s so satisfying to just... hold this book in my hands.
Details about how I made it, along with additional photos (and commentary) below the cut.
So I came across this post on Tumblr, which immediately inspired me to try bookbinding myself. I spent a few days watching so many tutorials from the youtube channel linked in the post (I’ll link the specific tutorials I used in this post), and googling how to actually manage to print pages so they form proper signatures, because the inbuilt booklet creator in Word doesn’t exist in my Word apparently so that’s fun.
Anyway, once I started, I asked @airdeari for permission to print and bind his fic, and he immediately said yes, so that was good. Then I spent a good couple of days copying the entire fic into a Word document, and fiddling with formatting so it would look like an actual book (section breaks, page numbers, headers with the fic title on the left page and chapter title on the right page (this took ages to work and I kept on stuffing it up), and making sure things just... looked nice. I added in the art After The War that @keycrash created specifically for the fic (third pic above), and an “afterword” containing credit and links and the author’s notes from AO3 (because even if I’m the only one who will ever see it, it still feels weird to not add the credit stuff in so it’s there).
I then saved the document as a PDF, and used CheapImposter to correctly shuffle (impose, hence “imposter”) the pages so when folded into signatures, each page would be in the correct order. This program was the first free one I could find, and was great because you could specify the number of sheets you want per signature, rather than stuck with a default. I chose to have 11 signatures of 6 sheets of paper, since that was the amount that would have the least blank pages and the end of the book. The file was 261 pages, so with two pages per side, and two sides per sheet, you divide the number of pages by 4 to get 66 sheets of paper
I then printed. There was only one (1) paper jam in the process, which was great. Unfortunately, I realised after I printed that one of the headers for one chapter was wrong (I hadn’t properly disconnected the two chapters), but fortunately that only involved reprinting 4 sheets of paper.
I used the following tutorials to make the books: DIY Textblock, a general “how to make a textblock” tutorial; DIY Kettle Stitch, a specific look at the stitching for a textblock, since the first tutorial doesn’t focus on this; DIY Book Cloth, since I chose to use fabric for my cover; and DIY Hardcover Book, how to put all those pieces together.
So then I started folding all the signatures. I was watching so much Brooklyn Nine-Nine during both the folding and stitching sections, since it was repetitive actions I didn’t need to concentrate on that lasted hours.
It was at this point that I sliced each signature one by one to make the end smoother and less pointy. In future I recommend not doing it at this point - wait until the very end. Instead, move straight onto stitching.
I don’t have any photos of the stitching portion, since my phone died the morning I started the stitching, and I wasn’t able to replace it until after all the stitching was done. In fact, originally all the photos from before the stitching were lost too. It was only about two days ago that magically the My Photo Stream thing kicked in and brought back all the photos - if it had worked two weeks earlier I would’ve had more. As it is, all photos from September to January are gone forever, unfortunately. But that’s another discussion entirely.
The above is the first book photo on my new phone, so as you can see, all the stitching was completed, the spine was glued, and the purple paper attached. I couldn’t buy two A4 sheets, so instead I had to buy one A3 sheet and cut it in half. Which was difficult cycling home from the city with an A3 sheet that didn’t fit in my bag on account of being A3 and not A4, but oh well.
I don’t have a book press, so I used a pile of DND books and my brother’s weights instead, as shown below.
I then had to re-slice the book after this point bc my first go wasn’t even, on account of slicing each signature separately. Next time definitely I’ll just do it at the end like this. I then also sanded it to make it smoother. It’s still not perfect, but it’s something that’ll take practice and patience so.
Next I made the book cloth, which involves using appliqué sheets to combine cotton fabric and tissue paper. But first I want to talk about the fabric I chose for the cover, because I��m quite proud of it. I spent ages wandering around the shop, trying to find something that fit the feel of the book. Spoilers for the content of the fic if you haven’t read it yet, and also for the source material (999/Zero Escape). I was thinking about some sort of blue swirl thing, because of the Gigantic sinking. I found that, but hesitated because it didn’t fully fit, and my favourite colour is blue so I always pick blue. I also considered flames/fire because of the incinerator thing, but couldn’t find any. I can’t remember if I just couldn’t find any four leaf clover fabric, or if I’ve just since thought about that as a cover. But instead I chose the butterflies below. They fit in several subtle ways that I’m proud of. The colours of blue and pink(/red) matching the receiver and transmitter coding all throughout 999, as well as the moments of purple as well (I don’t think I need to get into that, I’m sure it was analysed to hell and back when the game first came out). The butterflies also point towards the butterfly effect, and in turn the different timelines present in the series. So together it just works. /spoilers over
It’s also just a pretty fabric.
Now the making of the book cloth. I had to make it twice, because I was too impatient the first time, so the iron was too hot and it steamed, which wrinkled and warped the tissue paper, so the fabric was all wrinkly too. The second time took ages and was a worse quality appliqué sheet, but worked well enough anyway.
(My parents: did you have the iron out? what were you ironing? you never iron)
And then I cut the book board to size, using the measurements from the tutorial video. I’ll repeat them here: front and back cover: width = width of textblock minus 3mm, and height = height of textblock plus 6mm, and spine width = width of textblock spine, spine height = same height as covers
I then glued the board onto the book cloth, and put it under the book press. The dnd books are not large enough to cover the whole thing, and also I really wanted the board to stay flat and not curl, so I grabbed way more dnd books and way more of my brother’s weights. I also accidentally started putting the glue on the wrong side of the board (bc one side is smooth and the other is rough), hence the colour difference as well.
The corners were cut and folded and glued over...
And then the textblock was glued in, and put in my book press for a whole weekend. I added a sheet of paper to absorb the glue so the pages wouldn’t become wrinkly, but instead the sheet I added was fine and every other page in the book is wrinkly. So I dunno what happened there. After the weekend I took it out and looked at it, and then put it back for another week to be sure.
And then the complete book is shown at the top of the post!
As I was starting I was talking a lot about it, like about the process I had to go through, or how I was going to obtain what I needed, etc. Mum asked if she could read the story. I froze, like a deer in the headlights... because this is a fanfic. She saw my fear and immediately backed down, explaining she only wanted to read it because if the story was that important to me that I was going to literally turn it into a book, she wanted to read it to yknow like know me better or something? Which makes sense. And when I got over my initial reaction, and remembered that indeed it was technically my dad who introduced me to fanfic, and thought about it more, I said okay. Because since the fic is technically a prequel to the first game, and most of the characters are technically OC’s (like, from the first game we know that all eighteen children must exist, but most of them don’t have names or anything so they are effectively OC’s), then knowledge of source material isn’t strictly necessary. This fic can probably be enjoyed on its own. I mean I’ll probably have to explain the concept of morphogenetic fields, and the last four chapters might not make sense? But I’m okay for my mum to read it. So when she’s less busy at work I’m going to download the epub onto her phone for her - we’ll see how it goes.
Anyway, this fic is a masterpiece, extremely well written and I highly recommend it. As said, most of the characters are effectively OC’s, and yet they are all given such rich histories and personalities. All of them have access to the morphogenetic field, so I’m just so glad that @airdeari explores nine unique relationships with the field - nine unique sibling dynamics, and esper powers and abilities. It’s just so good.
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Back To Us: Reading Map
Someone asked for it AGES ago, so finally, here it is! I tried to minimize spoilers as much as possible just in case new readers happen across this. Hope it helps! <3 (Under a readmore because it’s FUCKIN’ LONG [but who is surprised at this point?])
Chapter One: Prologue
Ladybug and Chat Noir are doing their hero thing when an unforeseen tragedy splits them apart. Marinette struggles with her identity as a hero and Adrien flees the country in the wake of tragedy.
Chapter Two: Seven Years Later...
What it says on the tin. We get a glimpse into an older Marinette as an aspiring fashion student who comes across a grown-up Adrien by chance. As she plots the details of a fashion competition, and laments the state of her internship, an akuma attacks Paris for the first time in seven years. Ladybug appears to deal with the issue, only to discover that Chat Noir has returned as well.
Chapter Three: Strangers pt. 1
Ladybug enlists Chat’s help to take down the akuma, only to discover that his heroic philosophies have skewed over the years. Meanwhile, Marinette seeks to impress Adrien with her fashion prowess, only to be sorely disappointed by his cold response.
Chapter Four: Strangers pt. 2
Ladybug and Chat Noir clash as they deal with an akuma close to home. Adrien makes a date with Ladybug. Later, Ladybug and Chat Noir argue about the past, the present, and the future. (Yes, this is the chapter where @edendaphne‘s comic comes into play.) Marinette finds the courage to stand up to Adrien and assert her boundaries with him.
Chapter Five: Enigma
Marinette decides to start training for akuma attacks. She runs into Adrien (literally) and they jog to a bakery where Marinette’s parents proceed to embarrass her. Marinette seeks hero/boy advice from her old master. Adrien’s date with Ladybug doesn’t go as he hoped.
Chapter Six: Guardian
With Alya’s help, Marinette finds a way to push past recent distractions and start developing ideas for her own fashion line. Marinette’s boss interrupts by sending her to retrieve her wayward assistant Felix. As Marinette goes hunting for him, she comes across a terrifying scene at Master Fu’s. As he recovers, he puts her in charge of very important things. Symone, Marinette’s boss, becomes a hypocrite.
Chapter Seven: Autograph
Marinette struggles with her decision to let her boss plagiarize from her. Eventually, she decides it isn’t worth it. Adrien indirectly makes fun of her for never signing a card years ago.
Chapter Eight: Ruined
Marinette adjusts to life without her internship as well as working without Chat Noir. She and Desiree talk shop, and she becomes suspicious of Felix (not for the first time). During an akuma attack, Marinette gives Chat Noir a piece of her mind, and then shames Paris as Ladybug for being callous towards an akumatized victim. She indirectly pleads for Chat Noir to return to her, but he rejects her.
Chapter Nine: Friends
Adrien and Nino have an unpleasant reunion. This bothers Adrien so much that Marinette has to have a late-night intervention with him that carries into the next morning, when they go to see a familiar face for professional help.
Chapter Ten: Recovery pt. 1
Adrien begins the slow road to recovery. At one point, Nino gives him the business for the way their friendship ended...but leaves the door open to said friendship, just in case. Marinette gets her second jogging gift from Adrien (this is a thing).
Chapter Eleven: Recovery pt. 2
Adrien struggles with his new philosophy on akumatized victims, only for his resolve to crumble when he sees too much of himself in a bruised little girl hiding behind borrowed power. Conflicted, Adrien flees to his therapist and confesses perhaps more than is advised. Nevertheless, Nino welcomes him back into the fold. Marinette gains a clue about a hidden ally. Later, Nino gets a super surprise in the mail.
Chapter Twelve: Surprise! pt. 1
Marinette begins work on her fashion line. Adrien invites her on a not-date. Alya makes a bet with Marinette.
Chapter Thirteen: Surprise! pt. 2
A new hero by the moniker Emerald Shell arrives on the scene to assist Ladybug in her hour of need. Chat Noir pays Marinette a surprise night visit. Marinette shares a secret with Nino. The hidden ally has a name: Pavone.
Chapter Fourteen: Duty
Marinette and Nino seek advice from their aging master. Alya preps Marinette for her not-date. She and Adrien spend time ‘not’ flirting, and Marinette invites him to spend Christmas with her and her folks.
Chapter Fifteen: Mistletoe
The Ball Chapter. Marinette is thrust into a glittering world of the rich and famous, but she finds familiar faces nonetheless in the form of Desiree and Felix. A misunderstanding naturally causes an akuma, and afterwards, Adrien gets closure from Ladybug. Later, he and Marinette stumble under a mistletoe, and after a Christmas gift from Marinette, Adrien realizes he fucked up.
Chapter Sixteen: Trouble
Adrien spends an agonizing session at his therapist’s as he wrestles with newfound feelings. Felix gives Marinette unsolicited advice as she tries to close her parents’ bakery. Later, she stumbles upon Adrien standing in the rain and drags him home to dry off. Goofing off happens...and leads to something more.
Chapter Seventeen: Heat
Tikki and Plagg share a moment. Adrien and Marinette confirm that they are, indeed, attracted to each other. Domestic shit happens. Alya reluctantly wins a bet.
Chapter Eighteen: Deception
Nino finds himself mediating between his overprotective girlfriend and his helpless best friend. He also teases Marinette about her and Adrien’s not-relationship. Emerald Shell and Ladybug deal with an akuma, and then talk relationships. Alya gets the wrong impression from an overheard conversation between Marinette and Nino.
Chapter Nineteen: Faith
Alya doesn’t appreciate the silent treatment. She gets some unexpected advice from Desiree, and decides to do what she does best and investigate matters on her own. Unfortunately, she and Nino are unable to see eye to eye, which puts their relationship in jeopardy. Later, a frank conversation with Emerald Shell becomes too honest, and Alya accidentally discovers a couple of secrets. She and Nino reconcile, and Nino happens to spy a stray cat watching over a ladybug. Nino and Alya’s relationship is taken to the next level.
Chapter Twenty: Balance
Marinette rejoices in Alya’s engagement. Alya interrogates her about her not-relationship with Adrien. Marinette and Adrien privately agree to be ‘friends who kiss a lot’. Later, Ladybug’s negligence results in a suicide, and the widow becomes akumatized. Ladybug is almost defeated, but at the last minute, Chat Noir appears to save the day, and their partnership is restored.
Chapter Twenty-One: Blind
Emerald Shell is not pleased. (That’s it, that’s the chapter.) Nino expresses concern for one of his best friends. Marinette receives unexpected visitors—the first is unwelcome, as opposed to the second. Marinette flirts a little with Chat Noir, only to learn that he’s seeing someone. Uncomfortable after the night’s events, Marinette decides to bunk with Alya for a few days.
Chapter Twenty-Two: Bonds pt. 1
A press conference announcing Chat Noir’s return to the side of Good is not well-received by the citizens. Ladybug registers the change in dynamic between her and Chat, and is not sure what to make of it. Meanwhile, Alya encourages Marinette to pursue Adrien, but when Marinette shows up unannounced, she finds a woman in a towel in his home.
Chapter Twenty-Three: Bonds pt. 2
Marinette behaves like a fucking adult and allows Adrien to introduce her to his friend/ex-girlfriend, Erika. Through Erika, Marinette discovers Adrien and Felix are cousins. She and Erika start a frank conversation about Adrien, but the subject of said conversation interrupts. Erika goes off for a walk, and a couple minutes later, an akuma appears to terrorize the city. A face stealer transplants Chat’s face onto Emerald Shell’s shield when he jumps in the way to save Ladybug. The face stealer is chased off by a Miraculous wielder by the name of Camille.
Chapter Twenty-Four: Bonds pt. 3
Despite Ladybug not trusting her (and becoming overprotective of Chat Noir), she, Camille, and the rest of Team Miraculous devise a plan to track down the akuma. Ladybug assumes she knows who the akumatized victim is, but then circumstantial evidence points her towards Camille instead. Alya accidentally discovers Chat Noir’s secret. Nino points out an inconvenient truth to Marinette. Before Erika returns to Italy, she confides the existence of a troubling Miraculous wielder to Marinette: Shade.
Chapter Twenty-Five: Coincidence...?
The Valentine’s Day Chapter. Marinette and Nino are advised by Master Fu to bring Chat Noir into their counsel. Adrien asks Alya for another favor. Marinette and Adrien go on a proper date, though they spend much of the night confusing each other. An ill-timed akuma appears, and Ladybug and Chat Noir can’t help but notice each other’s fancy additions. Later, a multitude of clues lead Adrien to the conclusion that Marinette may not be who he thought she was at all.
Chapter Twenty-Six: Suspicions
Marinette comes to the same conclusion Adrien does...but then decides that she doesn’t want to know for sure. Not yet. Plagg dresses down Adrien in front of his therapist. Alya does a collective facepalm upon hearing Marinette (sort of) express her misgivings about Adrien. Alya tags along to an akuma fight, much to Emerald Shell’s chagrin. The Anti-Akuma Taskforce bump heads with a new group identified as the Akumatized Victims Anonymous, and chaos breaks out before Alya tricks them all into clearing off with the sound of a police siren. Afterwards, Marinette entrusts the search for a new Miraculous wielder to Nino.
Chapter Twenty-Seven: Aesthetics
Nino and Marinette try to gather clues on the Butterfly and Shade. Marinette runs into Desiree while shopping, and Desiree brings up some concerning questions before Felix interrupts out of the blue. Marinette’s fashion line is finally revealed in her university’s competition. She and Adrien dance around forbidden knowledge.
Chapter Twenty-Eight: Outfoxed
Nino makes a decision on who should join Team Miraculous, but then falls for the oldest trick in the book. Alya gets acquainted with her new powers.
Chapter Twenty-Nine: Changes
On top of everything else she has to do, Ladybug agrees to be the face of a new unity campaign Deputy Mayor Reine proposes when tension between AVA and AAT only continue to escalate. Meanwhile, Alya decides to use her powers for Good by slipping behind enemy lines in disguise.
Chapter Thirty: Shadow
Marinette and Adrien’s alone time is interrupted by fashion disasters. Still, the fashion show goes off without a hitch...until Shade crashes the party.
Chapter Thirty-One: Anarchy
Team Miraculous comes to the unpleasant conclusion that Shade knows more than she should. Meanwhile, AVA wreaks enough havoc that the mayor feels threatened and does the unthinkable. Emerald Shell spots a familiar Miraculous and leaves to confront the owner. Meanwhile, with AVA’s leadership in shambles, Alya suggests that they take things in another direction. When she returns home, a very angry surprise awaits her.
Chapter Thirty-Two: Tension
Team Miraculous (both in and out of their suits) deal with the aftermath of the last chapter. AVA’s new approach to protesting moves Marinette, and she and Alya stage a makeshift fashion show with AVA wearing Marinette’s designs, a decision that does not thrill Adrien.
Chapter Thirty-Three: Revealed
Everything comes to a head in this chapter. Adrien loses patience with Marinette’s constant promises of ‘later’, and they are cornered at the Eiffel Tower by Shade and the citizens under her thrall. Both heroes nearly meet their doom, only to be assisted at the last minute by Pavone. Where one couple of Team Miraculous reconciles, the other splits.
Chapter Thirty-Four: Squad
Marinette makes moves towards her future, despite her love life being in shambles. Vixen is introduced to Team Miraculous, and they have a pow-wow to share information. After patrol, Vixen splits, and Ladybug forces Emerald Shell and Chat Noir into a reveal of their own. Nino and Adrien return to Adrien’s place for a talk, and Adrien is comforted during a breakdown by his best friend.
Chapter Thirty-Five: Amends
The Wedding Chapter. Marinette and Adrien deal with their broken hearts as best they can while sitting through Ivan and Myléne’s wedding. It takes the combined efforts of their friends and the strength of their own hearts for Marinette and Adrien to reconcile at last.
Chapter Thirty-Six: Finale
The Final Chapter. Everyone who hasn’t been revealed yet is unmasked, including Alya, Camille, and Felix. Team Miraculous splits up to deal with the akuma flooding Paris as well as chasing down Shade, who reveals the motivation behind her actions at last. Past mistakes are almost repeated in the heroes’ pursuit, but all is well that ends well.
Chapter Thirty-Seven: Epilogue
What it says on the tin. Banter is shared, relationships have progressed happily, and things are peaceful. Thus, Longfic the Toothy comes to a quiet close.
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Study Break 📚 [M]
Pairing: Jimin x Reader
Gender of the reader: female
Word Count: 2.6k
Warnings: !Mature Stuff! A bit Dirty Talk, Fingering, Vaginal Sex (In General Vanilla Stuff)
A/N: I got this Idea when I wrote on my Exposé for my following "scientific work" in January/Feburary. I'm still in High School but we should learn how to write these kinds of things when we graduate and go probably to a College or University. 🤗
Summary: College wants to kill you in the moment. Exam Phase and then you have to write a 20 pages long scientific work! Jimin and you barely see each other, you gave yourself completely to your studies. Until some specific needs wants some attention again...
「© tipsydipsydo」
This following story is my intellectual property and belongs only to my blog tipsydipsydo.tumblr.com!
I’ll not accept any kind of reposting, stealing or using/editing my work!
That includes reposting my content on other social media platforms too, even when you link me as the original author.
Thank you.
Sometimes you wonder why you want to go on and if you really need a college certificate for your dream job.
For fifteen minutes, you've been looking at the eleventh page of your twenty-page assignment that your most hated professor gave your seminar class.
Deadline? Next week. It's not like there's the written exam phase right now and you also have a side job to cover your expenses.
Sure, your boyfriend Jimin would pay all your living expenses without batting an eyelash, but you vehemently objected and wanted to pay your part of the cost yourself since moving into your shared apartment. You are a autonomous and independent woman, of course you can accept when Jimin wants to pay for your dinner here and there but you can definitely stand on your own two feet.
That's why you also rejected his suggestion that you could take at least a leave of absence for these two weeks in your part-time job, so you have time to study and write your chores. But in the end, your guilty feelings of living on somebodys money and your pride keep you from doing so. And now?
Now you're sitting in front of your laptop, with tired and swollen eyes and an oppressive sense of panic in your stomach. You're surrounded by any kind of useful literature for this scientific short-term work, dirty plates and empty coffee and espresso cups sitting there in the table too. You've only taken the food and drinks that your boyfriend brought to you this whole Sunday. Concerned that you may have been thrown off your writing flow, you have refrained from cooking for yourself or at least making a sandwich. Too much precious Time you'd be wasting for that. Your goal is to finish this damn task today because you just don't have time to finish them in the following days. Tuesday and Wednesday are two important exams and you need to study for them, plus you'll have to go to the bar every night for your shift. For a million times today, you're counting on how fast you have to write the last nine pages tonight, so you still be done somehow tonight.
Meanwhile, Jimin has slipped away into your bedroom and binge-watch a few shows on Netflix. He doesn't want to disturb you, he knows how important your studies are for you and to be able to realize your dream job afterwards. Only on tiptoe he scurries through the apartment, trying to be as quiet as possible.
He takes care that you take food regularly and drink enough. You are ambitious and keep your promises, no question. Yet he misses you, even if you are only a few feet apart.
The last weeks have been exhausting and stressful for both of you, you're in your exam phase and he spends most of the week either shooting the new MV, doing practice or recording new songs in the Music Studio. Actually, you have hardly been aware of each other for the last three weeks, you two just lay down to sleep for a few hours at night, wrapping your arms and legs around each other half asleep.
You haven't really done much together lately, your last date was two months ago, because before all of this happens, there was one month where he has to film abroad for special scenes. And to be honest, the last time you had sex was three weeks ago.
You both had neither time nor strength for even intimate things. But the more your thoughts stray from your real job, namely, continuing to write this scientific essay, you'll realize how urgently you actually needed to be close to Jimin.
He would just hug you right now, without asking why and for which reason. Without reminding you that you actually wanted to continue writing your task. He would hold you close to him, put countless kisses on your forehead and cheeks, caress your back. He would just be there for you.
Without you wanting to, your fantasies continue, remembering the last time you gave yourself to Jimin in a sensual and loving way. How he was panting and groaning above you, sinking with deep but slow thrusts into you while softly whispering your name like a mantra. His body glistened with sweat in the dimmed light of your bedside lamps, damp strands of hair stuck to his forehead and the biceps of his arms tensed and relaxed rhythmically to his thrusts in your tight pussy.
Your breathing becomes hitched at the thought, you feel your body getting hot. You cross your legs to make the throbbing sensation between your thighs a bit more bearable.
"Dammit, concentrate!", you say quietly to yourself, shaking your head to get rid of those annoying thoughts and to return to the really important things in life and not these sexual fantasies. You know, in this moment, you don't need sex right now, you just have to get that damn writing done.
But you didn't have that deal with your sexual needs. Once they've licked blood with your sensual memories of Jimin, they kept throwing delicious images of his god-like body into your mind. His parted swollen lips, the way he always tenses his thigh as you ride him and how his abs contact with each other, even keeps your strong ambition from working.
After some unsuccessful attempts to start your next subtopic, you sigh loudly, close your laptop and stand up.
Slowly you go to the bedroom and want nothing more than to fall straight into Jimin's strong, but also incredibly gentle arms. You open the door and stand with hunched shoulders in the middle of the room, completely exhausted and wanting nothing more than that Jimin pamper you a little because you feel so pointless and helpless right now. Sometimes you just need a strong shoulder to lean on.
Jimin looks up from his laptop in surprise, then closes it immediately when he sees you. He doesn't need words to understand what you need right now and why you just came here. Your tired eyes with dark shadows under them show everything. He opens his arms invitingly for you, it will not take long for you to cuddle up to his chest and curl up on his lap like a cat.
You don't know exactly how long you spend time in this position. Jimin just lovingly massages your head and places butterfly-like kisses here and there in the crook of your neck and holds you with his other hand, presses you close to his chest. This silence is good. This silence in which you can only hear his steady heartbeat with your right ear on his chest is relaxing.
"Jimin?", You say softly, breaking the silence in the end.
"Yes, Mrs. Superwoman?" , He answers in a gentle tone and raises your head with one finger under your chin so that you can finally look at each other. Thanks to the nickname a smile creeps over your lips.
"... can you please make love to me?", you ask quietly, barely audible.
A smile lays on Jimin's lips. "Whatever you want, my dear..." he replies and slowly pushes his warm hands up under your sweater.
He puts his hands on your bare waist and pulls you even closer, so that your lips are only a few inches apart. "Let me kiss you, my beautiful queen," he whispers breathlessly.
"Please Jimin ..."
And your lips already touched, the first move of them is tender until you deepen the kiss and he becomes more and more sensual and passionate. Jimin's grip on your waist gets tighter, ask you to straddle his lap between two kisses.
"You're beautiful, I hope you know that. And to be honest, I'm glad that you're taking a little break, I was seriously worried about seeing you in front of the laptop for days.," he mumbles against your lips and looks with absolute honesty into your eyes.
"I missed you, even if we slept side by side every night."
He scatter soft kisses on your face. "You look so exhausted, please let me make you feel good again..."
Gladly you give in without a word on his offer, hum in agreement and lay your forehead against his. You literally feel his gentle smirk, so a smile creep on your lips too.
He pushes his hands up slowly, notes with a groan that you don't wear a bra under the top, which is underneath your sweater. Where normally the clasp should be, he finds nothing.
"All comfortable bras are in the laundry," you explain simply.
"You're so sexy, even when you're completely done with everything. God, I love you for that."
You giggle lightly, but immediately lift your arms at Jimin's intuitions to pull your hoodie and top over your head in one motion. He exhales shakily as he sees your naked torso in front of him.
"Damn, how can anyone be so beautiful? Please tell me, you look like a Greek goddess."
Even if you were actually used to Jimin's exuberant compliments, your cheeks blush again.
You feel like trash, with unwashed hair and blemished skin after you've stuffed your mouth with sweets in the last few weeks. And Jimin still loves you.
Even after three years of relationship, it's a mystery for you until now. Slowly, his hands slide up to your breasts, gently cupping them with his palms and rubbing your nipples until they're hard.
A small moan leaves your lips. Jimin needs only a few, targeted moves to make you instantly wobbly on your knees.
"Hm, you like that, right?" He doesn't even need an answer, instead his lips wander into the crook of your neck and begin to leave little bittersweet lovemarks on your skin.
"Oh god, fuck ..."
Why does your boyfriend always know so well which buttons he has to press on you. Almost automatically, you roll your hips against his, whimpering softly as you feel his prominent erection in his sweatpants.
"P-Please ..."
You barely recognize yourself, how you could be so turned on in such a short time? Probably because you haven't had any kind of sexual release for the last three weeks and all sexual frustration and tension has build up to this point.
Otherwise, your panties couldn't be completely wet within seconds.
"I know, I know, Honey ... I need you as much you need me, just give me a moment, we have to slow down a bit...I don't want to ruin the moment with my lack of self-discipline. I want to take my time with you..."
Before you can respond, his one hand slips into your leggings and finds his way directly between your thighs. His lips kiss their way down over your collarbone to your left breast, sucking your nipple into his warm mouth.
An electrical shock goes through your body, which isn't used to this stimulation after such a long time. You didn't even take the time to touch yourself. That's why you're so hypersensitive and totally reliant on any touch of Jimin.
"Oh my god, you're so wet ..." groans Jimin against your hard nipple as his warm fingers brush over your folds and wet them with your arousal. With a little devilish grin, he lets his index finger circle around your clit a few times before slowly and carefully letting it sink into you.
"O-Oh Gosh ...", escapes your lips.
"You're so fucking tight, Angel ..." growls Jimin.
This bulge in his pants is hard to miss. He seems to be just like you. If you imagine how sensitive you are to one of his fingers alone, you can only guess how fast you will come when his cock is in you.
Only the thought makes you clench around his finger.
"I want you so bad, sweetheart ..." he gasps, already dipping his second finger into the wetness between your folds. Your moaning and whimpering as well as his groaning fill the room as you begin to ride his second finger.
You cling instinctively to his shoulders, rewarding his actions with those sweet sounds that almost drive him crazy. He can't remember at that moment ever wanting you so much.
"Please ... please ... I-I'm ready ... I need you in me ... now, please!"
You whimper in his earshell and before Jimin can think about it, he tears your leggings with his bare hands in two pieces. You squeak in surprise, your boyfriend throws you an apologetic glance, but is too busy removing the annoying stuff from your body.
"Sorry, Jagi ... I know I ruined the moment anyway... I just need you so freaking bad! I'll buy you new leggings soon!"
You shake your head giggling and in disbelief as you grab his waistband and free his almost painfully hard erection. His cock lays proudly against his muscular stomach and impatiently waiting to finally get his turn of attention.
Jimin looks so good with his fucked out look, lips swollen by all this kissing, the first strands of hair stick to his forehead like in your imagination and only his gaze tells you how much he just wants you.
With a cheeky grin you grasp his cock and pump him a few times until you position yourself over him and slowly let you sink down on him. The stretch is delicious, so filling. Almost a bit painful because you haven't had sex for a comparable long time. Otherwise, Jimin and you have a very active sex life ...
Jimins rolls his eyes in pleasure, biting his lower lip, trying his best to not immediately pushing into you. The tight grip of your pussy almost kills him, he has to suppress his instincts to make it as pleasurable for you as it is for him. It takes a few moments for you to get used to this sense of fullness and start moving, riding him.
In these moments, he really wonders if you aren't the Cleopatra of the 21st century, so sensual and majestic you move on him, your breasts swaying gently to the rhythm, your Lips open to a silent moan.
While Jimin watches you breathless, you completely lose yourself in the pleasure. Your eyelids flutter in surprise as Jimin thrusts into you for the first time and you are completely overwhelmed by the sensation.
Searching for support, you lean on his chest, trying to get as much as possible of his powerful thrusts. His hands lays on yours, you open your eyes for a moment, see the smile full of love on his lips.
Holding hands in this moment makes the moment even more intimate. As you tense and relax your walls, Jimin let slip the most erotic and sensual sounds you've ever heard in your life. Despite all the years you've been in a relationship, you didn't know that his voice could reach these kinds of octaves.
"I'm so sorry, darling ... but ... I can't hold much longer ..." he whispers, his face telling a story of pure ecstasy.
You also notice how this fireball in your abdomen is about to burst. The moment when he interlock his fingers with yours it's too much. Only this gesture will make you come.
Your entire body tenses, a silent scream leaves your lips, showing Jimin that you have reached your high. Just that sight take his last bit of self-discipline, cum spurt into you and coat your pink walls white.
The silence returns to the room, Jimin wraps his arms around your upper body, enjoy the feeling of being so close to you what has been denied for both of you for so long. Your thoughts linger for a while until your voice breaks the silence.
"I think I've just build the perfect sentence for the beginning of my subtopic, Jimin!"
[Links]
My Imagines!
My Masterlist!
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Oh gosh fluff alphabets are the best!! Could I have one for best boi Midoriya pretty please??? :'D
Midoriya Izuku Fluff Alphabet
I’m currently working on a overhaul x reader, but since two requests came in for broccoli head canons, might as well 🤷♀️🤷♀️
A - Affection (How do they show how much they care in their day to day lives)
Midoriya is a lot more hands on when showing his affection. When talking he’s a stuttering mess, so he prefers to let his actions speak for him. Whenever he sees you, he’ll come up and give your hand a small squeeze, just letting you know that he’s there for you, and always thinking about you. He also says small complements every once and a while if he’s just passing you in the hall or something because then he can hide his blushing face
B - Before (How did they act before the relationship/ what was the relationship like?)
You honestly didn’t realize he liked you. Deku is a very kind person so you thought he treated you the exact same as everyone. Of course you thought nothing of it whenever he’d always come to you in a villain fight and back you up. Or constantly asked you questions on your quirk and complained it. Okay, maybe you’re just a little dense, or he needs better flirting skills.
C - Comfort (How they act when their S/O is sad)
He’s dealt with his far share of sadness, so of course he’s going to be good at comforting you. His first response is to figure out a way that counteracts the sadness. Your favourite character died on a show? Hey look they are staring in this new show you two can watch together! Someone said something mean about you? We’ll he’s going to make an alphabetic list of all the reasons you’re amazing.
D - Dawn (What are mornings like?)
Izuku has gotten into the habit of training in the mornings. If you decide to join him, you’d train together, then ending it with a light jog to a breakfast place or nearby park. If you decide to sleep in, that’s okay too. He’ll make sure you’re comfortable before leaving, then come straight back to bed after his workout for more of your world famous cuddles.
E - Embarrassed (How does their S/O make them flustered? How do they return the favour?)
Let’s get this straight, all you have to do is exist to make your boyfriend flustered. Say hi? He’s flustered. Of course that won’t last forever, but that same ‘butterflies in his stomach’ feeling will never truly fade. But whenever he gets into his hero mindset, get ready to be the blushing one. He says things that he doesn’t realize are smooth, while also doing everything in his power to protect you.
F - First date (Were did you go and what did you do for your first date together)
You never really had an official first date. You went over to his house to study for exams soon after you two finally started dating, and it just kinda dawned on you, ‘Hey, this is like our first date!’ You smiled. ‘O-oh ya I guesss it is!’ He managed to say as he kept his gaze on his textbook. You had also met his mother for the first time that night, and she kept gushing about how adorable you two were together.
G - Gentle (How Gentle are they with their S/O? Or do they like to rough house with them?)
As we all know, Izuku cant always control the intensity of his quirk. Thus there is always a lingering thought of him accidentally going to hard on you. Yes he’s happy to train with you, but he won’t go all out. Not even 75% of what he normally does.
H - Habit (What do they repeatally do in the relationship?)
Poor boy doesn’t even realize that he’s analyzing you’re intire relationship. It’s good around Christmas time when he has to get gifts for you, but normal days can be a bit much. Somethings he will come up to you and ask about something weeks ago, like you would be able to tell him exactly what you meant when you said that you and him were matching (aka your uniforms)
I - Intreating (What do they find fascinating about their S/O? And vise versa?)
He’s a fan boy, and thus he will be your fan boy. He finds almost everything you do to be interesting, but he mostly finds you’re smile and kind heart to be his favourites. He loves how you’re exactly what he loves in a hero, and honestly just in a person. And if you ever need reminding, just ask to borrow his hero note book. You have you’re own chapter.
J - Jealousy (How easily do they get jealous, and how do they deal with it)
Midoriya turns into another person when he’s jealous. No more stutters, no more embarrassment, he’ll just walk up to you and blaintantly show everyone that you’re his. He’s always a little self conscious about why you’d date him, so he can get jealous easy even if it may not seem like it. Either way he’s still nice about it, just more touchy and affectionate around someone who’s hitting on you, and maybe the occasional dead eyed smile.
K - Knick Knack (A random momento they still have from their S/O)
With all his All Might merchandise, it’s not surprising that his little momento is also All Might related. It’s a picture that he keeps on his nightstand. When you had started dating, you didn’t keep it a secret but you didn’t go around telling everyone. So somehow it was Midoriya’s fault All Might found out and quickly rushed to confirm this news with you and Izuku. ‘We need to document this!’ He shouted as he pulled out his phone and picked the two of you up onto his shoulders. You have a matching picture on your nightstand as well.
L - Location (Favourite place to go on dates)
Study dates or movie nights after grabbing a quick coffee from some new cafe. They are simple, and it’s nice just to be around eachother without having to be surrounded by other people. Plus during movie nights one of you always falls asleep, so it’s always a good excuse to stay the night although you don’t really need an excuse
M - Movie (What cliché movie trope has actually happened in the relationship?)
There’s this cliche where basically the two people who like eachother, think the other is dating someone else. So with Midoriya and you being clueless, you kept your mouths shut about your crush. That is until he told Todoroki about you, and was promptly told by the half-half boy that you were infact single, and you did seem to like him.
N - Nickname (What do they call their S/O?)
What he calls his S/O:
*incert the 10000+ nicknames he uses, which are usually some sort of play on from your name*
‘Princess/prince’
‘Mine’ uses it sparingly cuz his face will look like a tomato
What his S/O calls him:
‘My number 1/ my hero’
‘Broccoli boi’
‘One for me’ you only uses it after you find out about one for all
O - On Cloud Nine (How they act when they are in love/ Is it obvious to everyone around them?)
Honestly there isn’t much of a change unless you’re around him. If you are it’s completely obvious to everyone in a ten mile radius. This boy has the puppy love look plastered all over his face, as he just loves being around you. If someone calls him out on it, he’ll denie it, but from the way he was smiling when you explained how your day was makes it pretty obvious
P - PDA (Do they like showing off their s/o, or are a little shy to kiss in public)
Nothing too extreme, but definitely PDA. It’s the simple vanilla kind, mostly just hand holding where he’ll rub his thumb over your knuckles. Occasionally he will give you a forehead kiss, or a large hug, but it can embarrass him so don’t expect them to happen everyday. But seriously give this boy affection and he will never let you go.
Q - Quirk (A random ability they have, that’s helpful in a relationship)
Izuku is very observant, so lying to him is a big no no. He’ll always be able to tell if you’re upset, even if you’re trying your best to hide it. Plus he’s also good at reading the situation. He knows exactly what to do to make you feel better, and sometimes he knows when you just need to get it out. Above all else he’s just caring, and wants the best for you because this boi is a little ray of sunshine.
R - Rearly (Something they love to do, but it doesn’t happen often)
Since you two are always making the most of your time together, you often don’t get days to just relax with eachother. Days where you wake up at noon and just binge watch hero’s on YouTube for the next few hours as you eat breakfast more like lunch in bed. Letting the worries and the soreness of your muscles fade as the butterflies appear from all the wonderful cuddling. Is there any better way to spend a day?
S - Special (Something that only them and their S/O do together)
(This may not apply exactly to this but I really wanted to include it) it’s obviously that you’re boyfriend wants to keep you safe at all times, and what better way to do that then hire you at his agency once he becomes a full pro. Weather it be as a fellow pro, or as a support staff, he wants you beside and fight crime as a couple. Out of all the other pros, he can trust you the most, and know that you have his back above all else. So I see him almost never working with anyone in your department aside from you. Which is probably why you’re the top hero couple in Japan... soon, in the world!
T - Together (How often do they spend time with their S/O?)
With how hectic his life is, he doesn’t get that much time to spend with you. He will however make up for it by being the literal best person ever whenever you two are hanging out. It’s less about quantity and more about quality. He of course wishes it was both, but he’ll make do with what he can for now. One day he will be the top hero and he has to work for that, but when that day comes, he will make sure to spend as much time together as you wish.
U - United (In which way does the relationship become a whole? Marriage?)
Probably once you’re lives have calmed down a bit, and you two are able to fully focus on your relationship more. With Izuku’s goal of being the top hero and the goals you have for yourself, it’s hard for your relationship to be the center of attention. So once he’s a full hero, and you’re goals are completed, then you two will likely feel your relationship finally come to it’s final emotional stage.
V - Value (What do they treasure the most in their relationship?)
With how everything in this life is going right now, he’s happy that you are strong enough to deal with all of this with him. You are always there to help take off some of his burden, even if he doesn’t think he has any. You stay strong and planted by his side, and honestly he couldn’t ask for more.
W - Wish (What do they hope will come from the relationship?)
Midoriya is just a hopeful little kid at heart, and he might not always say it out loud but he thinks of his mother as a hero. His mother is so kind to him, and he hopes that you two can have a similar loving relationship, and maybe one day have a kid that you can share that relationship with.
X - XOXO (Favourite types of kisses and hugs)
Definitely likes cheek kisses. Just kinda peppering them on whenever you see eachother, or suggling close and having a quick kiss before you fall asleep. Hugs are more like cuddles. Either you’re full on cuddling him or he just has his arm around your shoulder. No inbetween.
Y - Yearning (How do they cope when they're missing their partner?)
Usually, he’ll just throw himself into hero studies. If he can’t be with you right now, he can sure as hell study your quirk and ways to enhance your fighting style and equipment. He’ll act like an excited puppy when you return, and you’ll probably have to scold him for not eating anything, but hey, at least you have some good ideas for modifications to your costume.
Z - Zeal (Will they go great lengths for the sake of the relationship? What kind?)
If nessissary he would give up one for all for you. As much as he wants to help people and follow his dream, his new dream is to be with you, and that will overrule the previous ones. Of course it would have to be after you were 100% never going to leave eachother, like full on family life and shit. But still, he loves you, and doesn’t know what he would do if something ever happened to you.
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La Devotee - Part XIV
Warnings: cussing (probably), gets a little racy but not many details, fluff
Word Count: 3.5k
Summary: The first night with Calum gone, Emily decided to get a little brave over FaceTime.
A/N: It’s Saturday (kind of, it’s midnight so technically it’s Sunday), but as promised I am updating so that I don’t forget about this lovely WIP. Thank you to everyone who continues to read!! 💖💖🥰🥰(also thank you to @thesubtweeter for finding that gif for me, love you mucho 😘) Feedback and requests are always welcomed!!! (Want to be tagged? Let me know!)
Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII | Part IX | Part X | Part XI | Part XII | Part XIII
Masterlist
After the guys were out of sight, Crystal held onto me and allowed me to cry for a while. Once I composed myself and we walked out together. She parted from me as I approached Calum’s Range Rover, and I waved at her. I was standing at the driver’s door, I realized I had never driven Calum’s car, only driven in it. If it had been up to me, we would’ve taken my car, but he thought his baggage fit better in the back of his car. As I sat in the driver’s seat, I ran my hands up and down on the steering wheel. I turned the key in the ignition and listened as the engine roared to life. Before pulling out of the parking spot, I dialed Mikayla’s number. If I didn’t actively talk to someone, I was going to cry the entire way home.
“Hey, Em.” She knew today was the day Calum was leaving, and she knew how it was absolutely destroying me. “How’d it go?” Even though I knew she would literally take my call at any point during the day, I glanced to the clock to see what time it was. A sigh fell from my chest realizing she was at lunch, it meant I had the entire drive home to talk to her.
“I ugly cried in the middle of the airport.” I ran my hand over my forehead and sighed. “I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I just, sobbed, and it’s not even like he isn’t coming back. I just wasn’t ready.” My elbow leaned on the edge by the window as I turned onto the highway.
She sighed, trying to console me. “Did you tell him?” I wanted to slam my head on the steering wheel. Of course I wanted to tell him, that would’ve been the best moment to tell him. It took everything in me to not tell him. My resounding silence gave away my answer. “Emily, why did you not tell him? You made it very clear to me that you want to tell him in person, that was your last chance for the next two months.” She kept going.
I hit my hand on the steering wheel, the anxiety and the anger finally boiling over. “Because what if he doesn’t love me back?” I yelled, and she stopped talking, almost as if I stole her voice right out of her throat. I cleared my throat and spoke softer, “What if he’s not at the same point I am in our relationship? I don’t want to tell him I love him right as he’s leaving for tour and have him just say, like, ‘okay’ or something.” Mikayla stayed quiet, just letting out a sigh. My eyes closed for a split second, trying to calm my own mind. “I know I should’ve told him, but he didn’t exactly make me feel as if he wanted to hear it.”
The sound of her fork clinking told me she was getting frustrated with me. “Emily, he is in love with you. It’s obvious by the way he looks at you. He’s probably just waiting for you to say it first.” My stomach twisted with regret, but it wasn’t like I could go back and say it. With a sigh and another minute of absolute silence, I changed the subject and continued to drive towards the house. Our timing was perfect since right as I pulled into the driveway, Mikayla said it was time to go back to work. I bid her a goodbye and quickly made my way into the house.
The house was eerily quiet, and eerily empty. My heart twisted as I placed Calum’s car keys in the bowl next to the door. Duke came padding towards me, tail wagging. As I walked behind him toward the back door, I pulled my phone out of my pocket to text Calum. “I just got home. It’s quiet here without you. I hope you have a safe flight. Call me when you land. Xx” My phone found it’s home in my pocket as I tried to continue the rest of my afternoon alone.
It was around nine in the evening when I found myself cuddled underneath a blanket on the couch with Duke sleeping in the bend of my knees. My phone started to ring, causing both Duke and me to jump. Realizing how long it had been since I got home, I scrambled to grab my phone. My stomach filled with butterflies seeing his face on my screen. “Hey, handsome.” I answered, my bottom lip finding its way between my teeth.
“Hey, sunshine. We just landed, we’re headed for the hotel and then we have an insanely busy day tomorrow.” His voice was like angels singing. My stomach twisted as all I could think about was touching and kissing him.
My eye shut and I rubbed my cheek. “I’m glad you had a safe flight. Do you want to face time me once you get to your hotel room?”
“Yeah, I should be settled in like a half hour. I’ll call you then?” There was voices all around him, sounding like they were directing him. Then it suddenly got loud, like he was in a crowd. “I’m sorry, babe, I have to let you go. Talk to you in a bit.” I wasn’t able to get a word in before he hung up. I tapped my phone against my forehead a few times before standing up and heading towards the bedroom. Duke followed behind me and jumped onto the bed. I started shuffling through the drawers that held my clothes remembering I had something that I had bought a long time ago that Calum would enjoy.
I looked at myself in the mirror, the blue lace nightie still fitting the way it had when I bought it almost four years ago. I lifted my arm and ripped the tag that was still attached off and then spun around and looked at the little dog who’s tail began to wag. “What do you think? You think your pops will like this?” Duke barked as if he completely understood what I was saying and I giggled, leaning forward to scratch under his chin.
Just as I finished scratching Duke’s chin, my phone rang. I answered, holding my phone just far enough that Calum was only able to see from my shoulders up. When he showed up on my screen, he was laying on a bed, covered in white sheets. He looked tired, but not tired enough to flash me a bright smile. “Hello, my love.” He said while lifting his free hand to place it under his head.
“How’s the hotel, darling?” I sat on the end of our bed and held onto the phone. Duke trotted up next to me and I looked down at him.
Calum shrugged and looked around. “It’s alright. I’ve stayed in so many hotels that they all are kind of the same at this point. Nothing will be as good as my own bed with my girl in it.” He turned to reach for the lamp and I felt my cheeks flush.
“Your girl, huh?” He looked at the phone, a smirk pulling at his lips. He just nodded, and then put his hand back under his head. My eyes flickered down at my specially chosen outfit for him, and I pulled my lips into my mouth out of nervousness. “You don’t have to share your room or anything, do you?”
He shook his head. “No, we always get our own rooms. I love those guys, but not that much.” He chuckled and I couldn’t help but chuckle back.
My eyes flickered back to my phone screen, and I pulled my eyebrows together. “Can I show you something?” He nodded, eyebrows furrowing. I pushed myself off the bed and held onto the phone perfectly still as I placed it on the TV stand. “Promise you’ll be nice?”
He rolled his eyes and chuckled, “I’ll be nice, what are you going to show me?” After I was sure my phone was stationary, I stood up, exposing the lace outfit. His eyes widened and he shifted so that he was sitting up and ran his hand that had been under his head down his face. His fingers paused on his lips, but the wide smile behind his fingers could not be hidden. “When did you get that?”
I looked down and ran my hands down my sides. “Like, four years ago? I’ve never worn it, the tags were still on it when I just put it on.” My head lifted back to my screen and I bit my bottom lip. “Do you like it?”
Calum let out a breath and ran his hand through his hair. “Fuck, yeah, I like it. What does the back look like?” He asked, his face flushing a slight pink. As he chewed on his bottom lip, I turned to show him the open back and the large amount of exposed skin. He released his lip and replaced it with his finger and stared at the phone, his eyes darkening. As I turn back around, he smirks and runs his hand through his hair again, only this time leaving his hand on the top of his head. “So, if this is what I get for being gone one night, what am I going to get when I’m gone for thirty nights?”
I smiled and shifted my weight, biting my bottom lip. “Not sure, I guess we’ll have to see in thirty days.” As I picked up my phone, Calum blinked and his eyes returned to their normal color. Calum cleared his throat as I sat back at the end of the bed. “I think I might go change and get ready for bed. Do you want me to let you go and we can talk tomorrow?”
Calum ran his hand up and down his cheek, “Can I see your outfit one more time?” I nodded and put my phone back on the TV stand. “You’re so beautiful, Emily. Can I see the back again?” Without a word, I turned around. “Thanks, baby. I just wanted to see you one more time. Will you call me back when you get into bed?” I smiled and nodded. He smiled back and hung up.
After I was sure he had hung up, I pulled out a pair of shorts and grabbed one of Calum’s sweatshirts that he left behind. Duke and I traveled around the house for a while, making sure everything was locked up and grabbed a glass of water. Once all the lights were off and I was sure the doors were locked, Duke and I made our way back to the bedroom. Duke jumped back onto the bed as I set my glass on the night stand and then made my way into the bathroom to brush my teeth. I leaned against the door frame to stare at the empty bed in front of me, Duke’s tail wagging slightly, as if to remind me that it wasn’t completely empty.
I climbed into bed, leaving the blanket around my hips. The face time tone rang out a few times before it ended and asked if I wanted to try again. Today had been a long day, so it wasn’t surprising that he probably fell asleep in the amount of time it took me to get ready for bed. After I placed my phone on the night stand, I rolled onto my side and pulled Calum’s sweater over my nose to take in the scent of his cologne. Tonight was going to be a rough night.
My eyes were wide open when my alarm started going off. I closed my eyes in frustration and groaned. The entire night as spent tossing and turning. If this is how I am going to sleep every night for the next two months, then I have no idea how I am going to survive. I sat up and pulled my knees to my chest and rubbed my eyes before stretching my arm out to shut my alarm off. As I shut the alarm off, I grabbed my phone and saw there was a text message from Calum. The time stamp was from two hours ago. He must’ve had problems sleeping as well. “I’m sorry I missed your call, sunshine. I fell asleep, been tossing and turning all night. Have to be up in a few hours for an interview, I miss you so, so much. Have a great day at work. Xx Cal.”
I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and tapped a message back to him. “It’s okay, you had a long day yesterday. I tossed and turned all night as well, the next two months are going to be horrible. Have a great day as well, honey. Xx” My phone bounced a little as I tossed it onto the bed to head into the bathroom to shower, and get ready for work.
My shower felt refreshing, but it still didn’t rid of the exhaustion sitting behind my eyes. After curling my hair and putting on my make up, I pulled on a pair of tight black jeans, a white tank top, a pale pink, loose fitting, long sleeved button up, and a pair of pointed toe high heels, the same color as my top. I grabbed my phone and placed it in my back pocket as I opened the bedroom door and followed Duke into the kitchen. The door slid open as I opened it for him and he went bounding outside into the grassy patch in the backyard. I left the door open for Duke to come back in when he was done when I turned and started making my coffee. Duke came trotting back in as soon as I put his food bowl down on the ground and gave the top of his head a light scratch.
After locking the back door, I grabbed my bag, and my coffee and squatted next to Duke, “Have a good day, handsome boy.” I kissed the top of his head and headed out the front door, locking it behind me.
“Welcome back!” Mikayla announced, turning in her chair to greet me. “How was your first night with Calum gone?” Mikayla put the straw hanging out of her cup to her lips as she spun to watch me as I made my way to my desk.
I placed my bag in the bottom drawer and closed it with my foot. “I tossed and turned all night. I don’t know how I’m going to survive two months.” Mikayla gave me a look asking if anything else happened. I placed my hands over my face in embarrassment as I plopped down into my chair. “I found this lace outfit I’ve had for a long time. The tags were still on it, I figured he’d enjoy it.” She raised her eyebrows. “It was your idea! Why are you acting so surprised?”
She dropped the straw out of her mouth and laughed in offense, “I told you to do something sexy, not basically stand naked in front of the phone.”
“Oh god.” I laughed and put my hands over my face again. “I don’t even know how to top that? Now he’s going to expect me to be half naked every time he calls me at night.” My phone vibrated in my back pocket and I pulled it out. “Busy day ahead of me. I’ll FaceTime you tonight when I get back to the hotel. Thinking about you, I know I haven’t seen you today, but you look beautiful. Xx Cal.”
My cheeks flushed, and I tapped my phone, trying to think of what to say back. “Thank you, maybe I’ll take a picture and send it to you later. Can’t wait for the FaceTime date tonight. Sorry I don’t have any sexy outfits planned. Xx”
The gray bubble appeared and I waited for the message to come through. “That’s okay, sunshine. I just want to see you, it doesn’t matter what you’re wearing. I would love a picture, you always dress so wonderfully for work. Michael says hi. Xx Cal.” I set my phone on my desk and concentrated on my work before my boss bit my head off.
When lunch came around, I told Mikayla that I’d meet her downstairs. As I grabbed my phone out of my pocket, I pushed the door to the restroom open. Quickly, I stood in front of the floor length mirror and snapped a picture of myself. Before leaving the restroom, I sent the picture to Calum without a caption. When I opened the door Mikayla was standing on the other side, causing me to jump out of my skin. “What-cha doing, Em?”
“I know what this looks like, but all I did was send him a picture of my outfit.” I turned my phone towards her to prove it. Mikayla shook her head with a laugh and we walked together towards the elevator. Once we stepped into the elevator, I sighed. “Do you want to come spend the night on Friday?”
“I thought you’d never ask. I’ll have Trevor drop me off here on Friday morning, that way we can go to your house together.” Mikayla smiled and nudged me.
As I opened the front door, Duke came running to greet me. I set my bag on the floor and squatted down to scratch his head. He ran away satisfied by the interaction and I reached down to take my shoes off. I carried them into the bedroom and tucked them away and changed into some sweatpants and Calum’s sweater that I slept in the night before. The house was lonely without him, and it never failed that I’d turn a corner and expect him to be there, and it never failed to surprise me that he wasn’t. Calum had made sure to make a trip to the grocery store with me before he left so I had food to last me a while. Which was nice, but the thought of eating right now made my stomach turn. Instead, I grabbed a glass of water and made my way to the living room and turned on the TV.
I was on my tenth consecutive episode of The Office when my phone started ringing, scaring the ever living hell out of me. Calum’s contact photo appeared on my screen and I answered the Face Time. He was lying in the same hotel bed he had been lying in the night before, he was wearing a grey hoodie with the hood pulled over his head. He smiled a tired smile, “Hey, gorgeous.”
My back touched the back of the couch and I smiled back at him. “How was your day?”
He turned his head and yawned, moving the hood off his head as he scratched through his blonde hair, “Busy. Sometimes we don’t even get a chance to eat, thankfully most interviews are accompanied by snack tables. How was your day?” He rubbed his eye, trying to keep the other one open.
I shrugged, most days I have nothing exciting to report to him, it’s been that way since we met. “It was alright, nothing exciting ever happens.” A chuckle left my chest and he let out a chuckle as well. His eyes stayed closed and I could tell he was absolutely exhausted. “Cal, do you want me to let you go so you can get some sleep?” He protested against hanging up through fighting off sleep. “Honey, you’re falling asleep.”
He hummed and got in a more comfortable position. “Can you just leave the call on and I’ll go to sleep?” He opened his eyes long enough to place his phone up right on the night table next to him. He reached above the phone and switched off the lamp. “Good night, sunshine. You can hang up in a little bit. I just want to fall asleep seeing you.” He kissed his fingers and then pressed them to the camera. I mirrored his actions and watched as he pulled the comforter up to his chin. Just as he finished getting comfortable, I placed my phone on the coffee table, propped up by my glass and returned to watching The Office.
Duke jumping off the couch startled me awake, not realizing I had even fallen asleep. When I looked over at my phone, it had died while the FaceTime had continued. I pushed myself off the couch to let Duke out then riffled through the kitchen to find a phone charger. Once I found one and Duke came running back inside, I shut the back door and made my way back to the couch. My phone came to life and I set an alarm for the morning and laid back down, promptly falling back asleep.
************
tag list: @thesubtweeter @thinkofmehlgh @viiirg0
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Peter’s Mission - P.P
Pairing: Husband!Peter x Wife!Reader
Warnings: Language, and fluffiness ^-^
Summary: You leave clues around the house whilst Peter’s out doing his daily neighbourhood patrol, and when he comes back home it’s his mission to follow the clues to find you... and someone else.
A/N: Just wanted to say hi, and I hope you enjoy the story >.<
Masterlist
It was at this time that your husband should have come home from his afternoon patrol. He'd always come home to you there, adorning a massive grin upon seeing his presence.
This time when he came home at his usual hour, something was different. He ripped his mask from his face, quickly running a hand through his damp locks.
"Hey Y/N, I'm home!" He called, throwing his mask across the living room, till it hit the plush sofa sitting in front of the couch. He frowned. Usually you'd be in the living room, and would occasionally catch the mask if he'd thrown it that way. When there was no response he stopped walking, waiting for a sound to let him know you were there, but again there was nothing.
"Babe?" Only one of his brows raised, as yet again no sound came.
He walked toward the couch to grab back his mask, though as he did so he found a note attached to the back of piece of furniture. It was obviously written by you, and so his lips curled upward at the sight. Moreover, the note was carelessly ripped by the margin which nearly made him laugh, because you didn't put in much care into the presentation.
He read the first few lines of your handwriting. After you read this line, please read out loud the rest of the clue.
"Oh so this is a clue," He said out loud, piecing together that you must be hiding somewhere close by. "I will find you, I'll make it my mission!"
He turned back to the piece of paper and read it in a loud voice, "You have found the first clue, but this is only the first of four. Peter, I know you must be wondering... why the hell isn't my wife here right now? Well, you'll have to work your way to earn my attention--" He shook his head with a laugh "--To find the next clue, you'll have to search where the monsters hide. Quickly, before they collect your screams for electricity."
He checked the back of the note. That was the end of clue number one.
"'Where the monsters hide'." He laughed again, running another hand through his hair, "I love the Monsters Inc. references, babe!" With the mask and note in hand, he made his way to yours and his bedroom. Peter was curious as to whether there was a surprise by the end of the mission or not. In any case, if this strange treasure hunt was just you being bored and trying to have fun then he wasn't complaining, because so far he was beyond excited.
He placed the mask onto the foot of the large bed and got down onto his knees. A small gasp passed his lips as his eyes made contact with the second clue, positioned under the bed. Slowly, he made his way to sit onto the soft mattress, reading aloud for you - wherever you were - to hear. "Congratulations, Spider-Man -- Thanks, Y/N -- you've found clue number two! The answer to this question should help you continue... Why did the bee marry? This is a joke, right? I must have said to her before." He paused for a moment to think. "Aha, Because he finally found his honey!" His shoulders jiggling with small laughter as he stood up. "So, is the note in the kitchen? Maybe?"
With that conclusion, he sped through the apartment past the living room into the kitchen. All the while his smile grew and his heart pounded against his chest at the thought of getting closer to you. Just as the clue had prompted the next note was folded under the jar of honey, close by the fruit bowl on the counter.
He took the note and flattened it out onto the table. "Getting closer, love, getting closer. Just you wait, Y/N! You better be ready once I find you..."
Peter quickly closed his mouth, and froze, listening in to any sound, a hint of movement perhaps. Nothing again. You were certainly good at hiding.
He read on with not a minute to waste, "The fourth clue may well be in your hands. That is, I retrieve this item by the couch where I stand. When you come through the door and I give you kisses that are so grand. I hope this clue will help you, I know you'll understand... And a winky face, that can't be a good sign."
With a sigh he leaned back from the table and fiddled with the gloves of his suit in thought. He closed his eyes, picturing the moment he'd walk through the door every day. "When I come home Y/N is usually by the couch. But she's never holding anything... 'I retrieve this item'... OH! My mask!" He ran back to the bedroom, and snatched up the said item, looking inside, shaking it, trying to find a note, a piece of paper, anything. He hadn't noticed anything inside it while on patrol, so how could you have put a clue in it?
Peter's eyes widened in a revelation and he slid the material over his face.
"KAREN—."
"Hello again, Peter."
"Did Y/N get access to you in the past few days?"
"Yes, a day ago, in fact. She told me to keep it a secret until you'd find the third clue."
He smirked, loving the way you managed to get to his suit when he wasn't looking. It was rather thrilling and made you more endearing.
"Can I please see the fourth clue?"
No more was said by the Artificial Intelligence, instead a video popped into his mask's vision, zooming in and then playing.
You were there, most likely holding your phone to film. Your smile was cheeky, and you wore the same outfit from two days ago.
"So... you found the last clue?"
Peter snorted at your Captain America impression.
"It feels weird filming this now, knowing you'll only watch it in a few days, but anyway, you're probably wondering if there's even a catch to this whole..." Your voice drifted off, trying to find the next few words, "this whole mission or quest. Well, I'm happy to let you know that you haven't wasted your time. There is something waiting for you. Now, you'll have to be very patient..."
"What is it?" Peter giggled. Your voice had slowed dramatically and turned very soft.
"Because our surprise won't be here for nine months."
"N-N..." His heart flipped, cartwheeled, somersaulted, finally putting pieces together. Recently in the mornings you looked 'green around the gills' as Peter observed, and you'd picked up strange cravings. How had he not seen it sooner? He needed to see you.
"Peter." Your voice snatched him from his thoughts and his wild heart beating. Only, it was still you from the video talking. "Take off your mask, love."
He didn't need to be told twice as he yanked the mask right off, making it fly through the air and land on the ground with a small splat.
"Y/N, get over here now. Where the—?"
Two small taps on his shoulder ensued, and as soon as he felt your familiar touch, he spun around. Laughing heartily as he scooped you up into his arms, hugging you tightly. You let out a little squeal at his sudden action, however quickly laughed along with him as he swayed you from side to side.
After a moment he stopped, looking down at you with literal heart eyes, only they were slightly blurred by the edges.
"You're fucking pregnant." He whispered.
Not knowing how to respond due to the sheer excitement of having finally told him, you nodded in response and bit your lip.
"You're really pregnant..." Not even believing his own words coming from his mouth a joyful tear rolled down his cheek, making you both share a giggle. "Oh my God, I'm so happy. I'm—."
With a pull of his neck, you planted your lips onto his. It was short, but let Peter know how much you loved him without having to say anything.
The kiss lingered on his lips when you pulled away, and he wanted you to do it again.
He placed you down onto the bed behind him, and then knelt down between your legs which hung over the side of the bed. "Why didn't you just tell me straight up, instead of putting on this mission thing? Baby, how long have you known?"
"I wanted it to be fun," You answered sheepishly, fiddling with his gloved fingers. "And I've known for a week now."
"A week? Just to set this up? I mean it was fun but... slightly flawed in that you should've just told me, or showed me the test result, you know?"
His cheeks rose further up his face when you responded with a laugh. He leaned forward and kissed your forehead.
"I hope you don't plan on telling everyone else the same way you told me."
"Oh, not a chance!"
He squeezed your hands, "You haven't told May yet have you?"
"Of course not. You know she wouldn't be able to keep it a secret from you."
"You're right. I'm the only one who knows, right?"
You nodded, "The only one."
"God, I love you." He leaned forward again and kissed your lips, letting his hands rest on your hips.
"I love you too, Pete." You brushed a hand over his forehead, moving any stray hairs back away from his eyes, and wiping a tear "So much. You're going to be such an awesome dad."
His eyelids hovered in a loving gaze, thankful for your compliment. In a smooth motion, Peter had let his hands fall to your waist, close by your belly, causing you to lean slightly back, allowing him access to your midriff.
Your heart melted, as he began to speak. "Hey little one. It's your dad, haha. I hope you don't give your mum too much trouble during these nine months. I'll be right beside her, and supporting her, but I'll need you to do the same because she's going to be doing a lot of work."
When he said 'mum', he looked up at you in pure adoration. It made your heart melt all over again, and your stomach to fill with butterflies - the same butterflies that had appeared back when you were both 17 years old, the first time he confessed his feelings for you.
"We're super excited to meet you, baby." With that said, your husband placed a kiss on your stomach, despite the material of your oversized shirt covering your bare skin. You grabbed his hands and put your lips on his knuckles, looking down at him with a suggestive eyebrow.
"Should we tell Aunt May now?"
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Log Cabin And A Brewing Fire Part IX (Trevante Rhodes x Reader)
Pairing: Nebraska Williams (Trevante Rhodes x Reader)
Word Count: 3133 (It was supposed to be 2k but I went waaaay over lol)
AN: Hi lovelies, I know I don’t really write anymore but this chapter was commissioned by one of my beautiful readers so I tried really hard to make this chapter great!
If you would like to catch up on any previous chapters please see my MASTERLIST. If you would like to be tagged please see my TAGLIST. If you would like to commission a fic yourself, please go HERE for prices + information.
Thank you so much and I really hope you guys enjoys this!!
~*~
“Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit,” you panted, face currently buried into the pillow on the bed Nebraska currently had you pinned down against. He was pounding into you mercilessly, exerting his full weight into each thrust while effectively pinning you down so that you were left virtually helpless to do anything but lay there and take that dick.
“Nebraska please, I can’t take another one, I’m too sensitive,” you begged in a muffled whine. He had been making love to you all night and this was the end of the third round. You were spent from the multitude of orgasms he’d been showering you in for hours and you were pretty sure there wasn’t a part of your body left that wasn’t throbbing in oversensitivity.
“C’mon baby, give me one more. Cum for me one last time,” he growled in your ear, his grip on your plush ass unwavering.
“It’s too much. I can’t even feel my legs,” you whine, your whole body trembling from the overstimulation.
“Good thing it’s not you legs I want you to feel,” he groaned, leaving a trail of sloppy kisses down you spine. You could feel your stomach tightening yet again and you knew it wouldn’t be long before you were pushed off your peak.
“Holy sh- Nebraskaaaaaaa,” you wailed, your orgasm coming crashing down. You felt like you were floating, like you had actually rose off the bed into the air. Wait, you actually were. Nebraska lifted you up and flipped you over before diving right back in, more determined than ever. His army stamina was literally off the charts and there was no way you were able to keep up.
“I t-thought you said that was the l-last one,” you stuttered, trying to push him away with one hand but he simply caught it and started kissing the inside of your wrist.
“I wanna look at you when I cum inside you,” he said peppeing kisses up your arm. You swear you felt your heart palpitate as you rolled your eyes, a grin breaking out on your cheeks. He was such a freaking romantic.
“Fuck Nebraska, I’m gonna be hollow if you keep this up,” you said breathlessly, watching his amazon length drill into you.
“As tight as you are? I doubt it,” he grinned, slapping your thigh.
“You’re just fucking huge,” you threw your head back while he continued charging into you. He brought his thumb up to your engorged clit when you felt shocks go through your entire nervous system.
“Not there, Braska, it’s swollen,” you gasped and he backed off immediately, moving to massage your breasts, careful to steer clear of your areola. You couldn’t deny, Nebraska Williams was one hell of a lover. Every touch, from rough to soft, was considerate and careful not to push you too far. It almost felt like he was more in sync with your body than you were.
He finally came, his thrusts in the end near- bruising in their strength. He stayed inside you, admiring your sweaty, exhalt state before him. When he finally did break the eye contact and slide out of you, he got up and left the bed, going to your bathroom to wash up then returned with a warm rag and cleaned you off. You could barely lift an arm you were so tired, your limbs felt like cement beneath your skin.
He climbed into bed, drawing you close to him, his fingers tracing patterns along your side.
“I been craving that for so long.” Nebraska hummed into your wild hair that had long since slipped from its bonnet. He had put it down so good, you couldn’t even bring yourself to care. You’d just do your hair tomorrow.
“Oh really? How long?” You said playfully, looking up at him.
“Since the first night you fed me that poison Lasagna,” he chuckled causing you to roll your eyes. You’d smack him normally but you were just too tired.
“And there wasn’t anyone else to…. satisfy that craving for you?” You alluded but both of you knew you were implying Tonya.
“Not a soul. No one compares to you, Y/N.” He said stroking your cheek. You felt electricity buzz in the wake of his fingertips. You were in heaven. Maybe it was the euphoria from the activities of the last few hours or just his natural sweet nature and affection but it felt as if you were walking in cloud nine.
You felt yourself fighting to stay awake, wanting to savor the moment but sleep won out in the end as you drifted off into one of the best slumbers you’d had in weeks.
~*~
You awoke the same way you fell asleep, with Nebraska curled around you, encasing your body with his own. His face was peacefully still, all his usually stresslines almost nonexistent in this state. You had a newfound appreciation for this view, especially with the radical turn in your relationship in the last week.
Ever since your hysteric moment in your Aunt’s bathroom, the two of you became remarkably close. Every look seemed to be followed by a soft smile, every little touch almost searing in warmth. It was as if nothing could stop the butterflies beneath your skin every time you were in his presence. Nothing except the sexual tension of course.
Despite your absolute willingness to take him right then and right there, Nebraska was adamant about no more ‘intimate encounters’ while at your aunt and uncles.
“The lieutenant would have my head if even the thought of us being together crossed his mind.” Nebraska chuckled, leaving you frustrated in your room on the last night of your stay.
But oh how he had made up for it and more upon arriving home.
Home...
Lying here next to Nebraska, his arms encased around you, felt more like home than ever before. It was as if you found a puzzle piece you weren’t even aware you were missing. Was it because he was right for you or had it been so long since someone sincerely cared for you that you were deluding yourself into thinking this could work?
“Morning,” Nebraska purred. You could feel the deep timbre of his sleep-laden voice practically reverberating through his chest.
“Good morning, Stallion,” you giggled, watching as a sly grin broke out across his face. He turned over so that he was leaning over you and began nuzzling into your neck.
“I like that one. I like all your pet names for me,” he murmured in between nipping at the base of your throat.
“I like-” you were cut off by an embarrassingly loud growl from your stomach protesting its own emptiness.
“Sounds like someone’s hungry. I’ll go make breakfast.” Nebraska winked, beginning to crawl off of you. You watched as he picked up his discarded boxers and pulled them on.
“Wait, no. You don’t have to go.” You whined, sitting up in bed. Nebraska chuckled, leaning down to land a gentle kiss to your forehead. You wrapped your arms around his torso, pressing your cheek against his warm abdomen.
Once you finally released him and he resumed his mission to fix breakfast, you too got up and began your day. One long shower, followed by a quick breakfast and getting dressed, later and you were out the door to work.
Life was... the best it had been in a long time. You didn’t know a relationship could feel this good, if that’s even what you could call this little adventure the two of you were embarking on. Labels didn’t matter at this moment because he made you feel amazing and vice versa so that was enough for now.
~*~
Weeks later.
Nebraska was a nervous wreck.
For the past few weeks, things with Y/N had been absolutely... heavenly. It was like a dream he felt he’d wake up from at any moment. He could have wrote down, in great detail, every single quality he desired in his ideal ‘Perfect Woman’ and still not been able to construct the vision that was you.
It was as if you knew what he needed before he even knew himself. Casual acts of affection would always set him at ease when he didn’t even realize he was tense. One glance his way and you could tell if something was bothering him, and even if he would prefer to talk about it or not. Nebraska could feel his walls crumbling down when it come to you, walls he’d been building since adolescence. He was never one to open up, he always played it smart in the background, no one really getting to know him. But with you, it felt as if you already knew him, long ago and all that was left was him subjecting himself to the inevitable fate of being known.
All of these things were new to him and despite dragging him further from his comfort zone than ever before, it wasn’t what was causing his current internal conflict.
No, what had him in such a distressed state was the encroaching holiday, Christmas. Christmas was never a good time for Nebraska. It was such a demanding holiday with a false pretense of happiness at every turn. It only aided his depression, reminding him that his own joy was all a facade and that he would never be truly as happy as everyone else, that he was just an imposter.
Usually he was left alone to deal with his own demons but that wasn’t the case this year because of none other than you. He could tell by the sheer energy and excitement you had for the entire festive season that it was your favorite holiday. It was an experience you wanted to share together but Nebraska once again just wasn’t sure how to give you what you need...
“Why the long face, Williams?” Colonel McNeal, the veteran coach, asked from beside him. The two of them were currently standing in the center of the schools indoor track watching as the students ran lap after lap. Their last physical examination before the holiday break was within the week and they were trying to get in the best shape possible for that.
“Just a lot of my mind as of late,” Nebraska uttered, exiting his train of runaway thoughts.
“Yeah, you do seem different as of late,”
“Is that so?”
“Yeah. You seem happy,” the colonel, chuckled. “Usually all it takes is the love of a good woman to turn it all around.”
“Yes it does,” Nebraska muttered in agreement.
“Takes a lot for a man to do what you do. Especially for a woman with kids. Being a stepfather is a deal-breaker for most but yo-
“Stepfather? To whom?” Nebraska cocked his head in confusion.
“Principal Manning’s little ones of course,” the fellow coach said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“Principal Manning!?”
“You two aren’t together? You two seem so close and she’s always going on and on about you, everyone just assumed...”
“Tonya Manning is my employer and colleague. Nothing more. I go home to the love of my life every night and it most certainly is not her.” Nebraska said, completely floored by the coach’s bold assumption. Actually, he said it was everybody’s assumption, that Tonya herself was undoubtedly fueling.
Nebraska was at a lost of how to go about the situation. He didn’t want to overstep and bring it up with her if that meant risking an uncomfortable work environment but he also felt guilty leaving her to believe there was ever a chance of her obtaining him when he knew how strong his love for Y/N was.
He ultimately decided to leave it for now, determined to focus on his relationship with you and making sure he didn’t mess that up in any avoidable way.
~*~
That night you came in hours late, which worried Nebraska to no end. He thought of calling you several times to make sure you were safe but he didn’t want to seem too obsessive so he settled for a text to which you replied with a short one word answer.
Imagine his surprise when you rushed into the house, eyes glassy from the cold, practically bouncing with excitement.
“Nebraska, Nebraska, Nebraska!!” You said so fast it almost sounded like one word. Nebraska wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you close both to warm you and to still you.
“Hello to you too,” he smirked, rubbing circles into the small of your back.
“Can you come help me with something real quick? And then help me with something after that? And then one more thing after that?” You asked, the biggest grin spread across your face.
“Of cours-
“Great! Let’s go!!”
The next hour found Nebraska and you in the living room decorating the enormous Christmas Tree you brought home along with boxes upon boxes of decorations (all brought inside by Nebraska naturally.) He set up the tree by the fireplace (which you ignited) so now all that was left for the two of you to do was decorate. There was a soft lull of Christmas music playing in the background and Nebraska couldn’t deny the serene feeling of content as he watched you stand on your tippy toes attempting to hand a bulb near the top.
You spotted him laughing at you from his seat on the floor below and decided to come down to his level, plopping down beside him. You held his hand intertwining your fingers with his own. He loved it when you did that.
“Hot chocolate or eggnog?” You asked, big brown eyes looking up at him innocently. That never failed to erupt something deep inside him. A need to have you.
“C’mere,” he said, patting his lap. You turned to straddle him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders while his hands found their home on your hips.
“Can I have a kiss?” Nebraska gazed up at you, mesmerized.
“Do you even have to ask?” You giggled, leaning into his lips. He captures yours slowly, savoring the softness of your plush lips. He remembers how they felt wrapped around his shaft and his dick jumps in excitement. You feel it.
“I want you...,” Nebraska groans once the kiss is broken as he nuzzles into the base of your neck. He couldn’t help himself, the feel of you on top of him was driving his senses through the roof. You were so damn thick and being between your pillowy thighs was a weakness he couldn’t resist.
“Then have me....,” you whimpered, big brown eyes peering into his own. Fuck, why did everything you did turn him on in this moment?
Nebraska didn’t need to be told twice as he sprang into action. He threw the huge Christmas sweater you were wearing as a dress over your head to reveal your undergarments. Your panties were a bit too small, causing your generous lips to spill out of the sides. Nebraska pulled at the sides, tightening the fabric and accentuating the image. His mouth was watering at the sight.
“What are you doing?” You asked in slight confusion, squirming in his lap.
“Your pussy’s so fat... and wet... I think I’m ready to propose,” You laughed at this only for it to quickly morph into a moan as he began stroking your mound.
He pulled your panties to the side, allowing one of his digits to delve into your opening. He added another finger earning an explicit moan from your lips. You were gushing over him already, juices beginning to drip down his arm. Nebraska watched as you rode his hand in utter amazement. It was the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen, you panting and mewling by the power of his hand alone. He couldn’t take it anymore, he had to have you on his dick.
He released himself from the fabric encasing his length and it was already standing at attention. He lifted you by your chubby waist and positioned himself under your entrance. Slowly he lowered you, your eyes rolling in the back of your head as you sank onto him.
“Shit, Nebraska hold on. Give me a second,” you said breathlessly, adjusting to his size. Nebraska wasn’t oblivious, he knew he was well-endowed and that it could be a lot to take, especially with you being so much smaller than him.
He allowed you to take control, increasing speed at your own pace as you began to ride him. The sensation of you rising up only to drop your weight on him always worked him up way too fast. Nebraska had never really dated a chubby girl, not that he was actually opposed to it but the occasion just never arose. He had no idea the trajectory of sex would be this different and he would love it so much. He couldn’t understand why at times you were still so self conscious about your body, especially around him. You had Nebraska absolutely wrapped around your finger and didn’t even know it.
Fuck, he was about to cum...
Nebraska wasn’t ready to release, especially without making sure you had had your own first, so he resorted to his number one tactic for prolonging his own pleasure. He switched positions.
You uttered a sigh of relief as he lifted you by your waist once again and laid you down on your back. Your legs were tired and your thighs were trembling. It was obvious you were able to ride for long but it sent Nebraska into such a tailspin that his nut was never far behind.
In this new position, Nebraska has you exactly where he wanted you. You were putty in his hands, arching into him while your toes curled in ecstasy.
“Braska, please, it’s-, I-, I, ahhhhhhh!” He had hit that spot again and before you could even finish your pleas, you were squirting uncontrollably. Nebraska couldn’t hold it anymore, the clenching of your walls around him, along with your post-orgasm mewls, sent him over the edge and he was releasing inside you. Your walls continued to grip him, taking every ounce he had to offer.
“That was um... woah,” you planted beneath him.
“It always is with you,” Nebraska hummed, pressing a kiss to your forehead.
“And what does that mean?” You giggled as he slid out of you and laid down beside you still catching his breath. His arms instinctively wrapped themselves around your waist.
“Means I can’t seem to get enough of you,” Nebraska said, watching the twinkling lights of the Christmas tree above.
Nebraska still wasn’t a fan of the holiday, but if he got the chance to fuck you under ever tree he had to decorate, then honestly how bad could it be?
~*~
A/N: I was originally supposed to upload this a week ago but at the last minute I decided to add that ending Smut scene and I had to make sure it was well written! Let me know what y’all think!!
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A Cross-Time Caper
When Hawk Moth's machinations inadvertently lead to the akumatization of Ladybug, it will take a bunny, a butterfly, a monkey, two ladybugs and three cats to set the world to rights again.
Chapter One of Three
3,564 words
*
It was all still very theatrical, of course. He bowed low, head nearly even with his hips, one arm bent across his stomach, the other extended up and out. The broad grin permanently etched on his face these days was the perfect compliment to his exaggerated manners. “A pleasure as always, Ladybug, but I’m afraid I must be going.” Another paw pad on his ring vanished, leaving him with two. Chat Noir straightened, and drew his baton.
Two weeks ago, this would have gone down differently.
Probably, he would have bowed over her hand. His performance against the day’s akuma victim always informed his flirting. When he was pleased with himself, he was the old world gentleman. He thought it charming to bow over her hand, kiss her knuckles and call her m’lady. Ever hopeful good work would earn him romance, he’d resist leaving her until his ring demanded it. (Or until she teased him so much that he lost his nerve.)
If he had embarrassed himself during the fight, then he’d be defensive. All sass and unearned bravado, the sort that a girl with self-respect just couldn’t let stand in a boy who couldn’t back up his trash talk. He’d call her Bugaboo just to hear her yell at him. That was his other favorite persona—the little boy on the playground who didn’t know how to tell a girl he liked her, so he antagonized her instead. Sometimes she answered his absurdity with cleverness, but more often than not she’d cross her arms and feign annoyance. Chat Noir always wanted attention, but when he was disappointed in himself, he usually tried to goad her into being upset with him, too. A good job meant looking for rewards he wouldn’t find and his easy acceptance of their absence; when he performed poorly, he’d force a scolding out of her if he had to. With hindsight, she’d let him have his way too much. When Chat Noir went fishing for a set down, his partner should have been the one propping him up.
Now she was Ladybug, always.
And she wasn’t the clever one anymore.
Giving up on Adrien and watching him ride off into the sunset with Kagami should have ended with Marinette climbing atop Luka’s white horse. He was sweet, and she liked him. Maybe he was a little too punk rock and anarchy for a beautiful house and three children at the end of their story, but it’d still be a good story. They would be happy together. The disparity of their feelings had left their friendship unbalanced, but if they were together, then Marinette could reciprocate. She could appreciate and support and respect him like he always had her.
But.
Life never wants to follow the path it should.
Her heart, Marinette learned, was interested in hopeless pining exclusively. As for her stomach, well, that started doing flip-flops for Chat Noir. And although her tongue was just as adept at barking out a plan to defeat the an akuma as ever, once that was finished so was her ability to string together a coherent sentence.
Ladybug wished she could say it was because Chat Noir had matured a lot recently. Because he had! Chat Noir stepped up during the battle against Miracle Queen and it turned out quick thinking and strategy agreed with him. There had been more equal division of labor in the past two weeks than the entire preceding year combined. Just in time, too. Without Master Fu to guide them, they were on their own. Ladybug could not have shouldered the burden of the Miracle Box and come up with all the plans and always be ready to wind her yo-yo around Chat Noir’s ankles to yank him out of the line of fire. Saving Paris had never been a game to him, exactly, but he’d enjoyed it in a way Ladybug couldn’t. To don a mask and smack a monster with a stick was how Chat Noir blew off steam. It was his escape from stress. Now even he could not deny the magnitude of the job before them.
The identities of their entire team had been compromised.
The loss of Master Fu’s memory was bad enough, but it also meant they lost their access to Guardian lore and the Grimoire.
The only council they had left was their kwamis, and transformation cut them off from Tikki and Plagg. Ladybug and Chat Noir had always been fond of using the two of us against the world as a rallying cry, but now it was true. And Chat Noir was pulling his weight.
Ladybug wished she could say she fell in love with him because of that. It would have been poetic, somehow. It would have been worthy of him.
But no.
Marinette had a good cry over Adrien—a dozen of them, really—binged ice cream and terrible rom coms with Alya, heard some variation of if he doesn’t see how special you are then he doesn’t deserve you from literally everyone she’d ever met—most in good faith, though the Chloe version was excruciating in it’s backhanded compliments and the Lila version was pretty obviously designed to make her feel worse—and bought a new diary. New pages for a new era. In general, Marinette did her absolute best to put her feelings for Adrien behind her.
If Adrien and Kagami made each other happy, then that was all that mattered, right? Right.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Marinette did her absolute best to put her feelings for Adrien behind her and they went absolutely nowhere because feelings don’t go away when you ask them nicely. But the loyalty to Adrien that had once made the idea of dating someone else feel so relentlessly wrong? That did leave. It turned out the world was filled with people as cute and smart and funny and kind and gentle and charming and vulnerable and brave and good as Adrien. Her heart scamped right up to Chat Noir and went, Well! How about this one? Isn’t he exactly who you’ve always wanted?
And when she tilted her head and squinted, he kinda was.
Only...she didn’t have to squint, actually.
Or tilt anything.
Looking back, Ladybug had probably been half in love with Chat Noir all along. Her dislike of the cute nicknames and attempts to steal kisses had simply been part of the mask. Another means of distancing Ladybug, Ultra-Competent Hero of Paris from Ladybug, Regular Teenager Making Up How to Save the World As She Went. For a while, she even fooled herself! Before Felix, she might have said Chat Noir pushed her boundaries and ignored her comfort zones. But after? The contrast between her playful partner’s irrepressible flirting and the actions of someone who pressed onwards without caring about her feelings could not be sharper.
Looking back, Ladybug had definitely been completely in love with Chat Noir all along. When viewed through the lens of having loved him, their year fighting side by side made so much more sense. It was her own love that she called upon to conquer Dark Cupid’s spell. When Chat Noir wondered if he would have had a shot in a world without Adrien, Ladybug couldn’t imagine one—but Oblivio soon stripped her of her memories, and photographic proof suggested that in a world where she was at least ignorant of Adrien, she would have fallen into Chat Noir’s arms immediately. And then there was Chat Blanc’s timeline. Ladybug could never know what really happened in that twisted world. Chat Blanc had babbled a lot about them being in love, but in the moment, Ladybug had thought nothing of it. It was simply his one track mind run off the rails. But from the safety of distance and a repaired timeline, she started to wonder if Chat Blanc had been more lucid than he let on. Maybe something had happened between them…
And ended with the boy she loved akumatized, Paris a half-submerged hellscape and herself dead.
Rationally, she knew Ladybug and Chat Noir could go get an ice cream at Andre’s together without triggering the end of the world. There must be a step in between their love and the destruction of the city they were charged with protecting. It was a moot point. He had a girlfriend now.
(Sometimes, she was confident she could steal him away if she tried. He’d wanted Ladybug for so long. Surely if she just apologized and told him how she felt, he’d forget all about other girls. But doing that would make her a bad person, wouldn’t it?)
(Other times, it wasn’t right and wrong that stopped her, but the fear that he didn’t care anymore. That Chat Noir would say no, and Ladybug would have to face that she’d lost her chance with him forever.)
“Pleasure’s yours, I mean, nine. Mine. I mean… See you next time, Chat Noir.”
At least the precarious nature of their transformations meant Ladybug was never trapped in a long, awkward conversation with Chat Noir. When she made a fool of herself in front of Adrien, that was agony for hours. Chat Noir only had two pad paws left, and her earrings were not faring any better. He was leaving, and she wouldn’t see him again until they were in the thick of a fight.
He was kind enough to never question her sudden tendency to get tongue-tied. Ladybug knew he noticed. His banter came slower, like he had to make a mental adjustment when her confidence disappeared.
It was in that beat of silence—the one that used to not be there, but hung over her like the blade of a guillotine while Chat Noir cautiously decided how to respond—a brand new opportunity for chaos that two weeks ago would not have existed, but did today—when she wished a black hole would open up and swallow her whole
that one did.
Sort of.
“Minibug! Kitten Noir!”
It wasn’t a black hole, but the white-blue void of the Burrow. Bunnyx hung half out, arms making sweeping gestures to urge them closer. “It’s go time!”
As far as holes to swallow you up so that you don’t have to confront your own embarrassment went, the Burrow was kind of a lousy one if Chat Noir was invited. “We’re about to transform back!”
“I came prepared, Minibug. I’m sure you both did, too, with snacks for your kwamis.”
Chat Noir tossed Ladybug an uneasy smile. “Bunnyx wouldn’t be here just for chit-chat. We’d better go.”
(He had lately developed an irritating tendency to take his job seriously.)
(The love and support of his girlfriend was so freaking good for him that it was a little grating.)
Bunnyx’s security measures were, unsurprisingly, a pair of bowls slapped over their heads before she ushered them blindly into the Burrow. Well. Ladybug more or less knew to expect that. Chat Noir yelped. It was good to hear his facade drop, even if just for a second. He had come into his own recently, but underneath it all, he was the same pratfalling goofball he’d always been.
“Spots off.”
“Claws in.”
Familiarity with her purse made any awkward groping unnecessary. Producing a macaron for Tikki was as natural as breathing. For her part, Tikki seemed to be in awe of what she could see. Marinette heard a tiny “Wow” pass Tikki’s lips and from further away, de-transformed Chat Noir trying to placate Plagg. There was a job to be done. No rest for lazy cats, and no time to explore for Tikki.
“Tikki, Spots on!”
“Plagg, Claws out!”
The Burrow was full of secrets. Bunnyx monitored untold timelines, ushering their lives along the best possible path. Although she had heard Chat Noir transform and knew their identities were safe for another day, Ladybug did not dare remove the bowl. Bunnyx would tell her when it was safe to look.
“That—”
“Don’t!”
“—is the mini-est Minibug I’ve ever seen.”
Ladybug tilted the rim of the bowl back. Bunnyx was glaring daggers at a thoroughly unconcerned Chat Noir. A taller Chat Noir. His shoulders were deliciously broad, and his mop of blond hair was not a smidge neater. What should have been absurd—a grown man in a skin tight cat costume, bell and all—simply wasn’t. He stood with the complete assurance that he belonged in that outfit, and so it looked natural. Right.
Ladybug eyes darted to the boy Bunnyx had brought with them. He’d also tipped his bowl back, and was staring dumbfounded at his future self.
“I mean it,” Chat Plus Sombre said, looking thoughtfully at Ladybug, “What are you? Thirteen?”
Ladybug bristled. So he was a grown-up, so what? That didn’t mean she was useless. “Almost fifteen.”
“She may be a newbie,” Bunnyx interjected, “but she’s good.”
Chat Plus Sombre held his hands up in surrender. “No need to remind me how fast Ladybug picked up the ins and outs of being a superhero. I’ve been playing catch-up since the day we met. I’m just surprised you went this young, Bunnyx. Isn’t the goal to pick her up five minutes before she quit?”
Quit.
Quit.
The casual way the word rolled off his tongue, as if Ladybug quitting could ever be normal, made her blood run cold. It was one thing if she wasn’t needed anymore. She’d happily hang up her yo-yo if Paris was safe. But it sounded like she’d left Chat Plus Sombre high and dry, reduced to plucking partners out of the timestream in order to keep on fighting.
She was going to quit.
Bunnyx treated the revelation like it was normal, too. “For you. They’re gonna take a quick detour. I found something else in the timestream that needs fixing. We’ll get back on track once Minibug and Kitten Noir have accomplished their mission.”
Chat Plus Sombre frowned at Chat Noir. “I don’t remember being tagged for one of these.”
“One of what?” Chat Noir cried. “And where’s future Ladybug?”
“We can’t tell you,” Bunnyx answered. “It’s bad enough you saw him as it is.”
Chat Plus Sombre shrugged. “Nah, it’s fine. I don’t remember this at all. He’s definitely gonna get mindwiped.”
“And her?”
Crossing his arms, Chat Plus Sombre acceded the point to Bunnyx. “Okay, since I don’t know my little lady is also gonna get mindwiped, I’ll be infuriatingly obtuse. That suit you better?” It didn’t appear to placate Bunnyx, but Chat Plus Sombre had evidently compromised as far as he was willing. “My Ladybug—by which I mean the Ladybug of my time, attach no further significance—is fine. She’s taken a temporary leave of absence. We—she planned it in advance. No Guardian mindwipe activated. She’s coming back. But since Paris still needs a Ladybug, we take one from the timestream as needed. There’s a gap of about three years between when she made the plan and when she needed it that we usually swipe a Minibug from.”
That felt...reckless. Tentatively, Ladybug said, “I thought time is delicate.”
“It is,” Bunnyx answered. There was a slight air of scolding.
“But,” Chat Plus Sombre interjected, “you’re not replaceable, and the earrings are too powerful to sub out even if just anyone could do the job.”
Ladybug looked away, embarrassingly flattered.
“We’ve wasted enough time,” Bunnyx declared. “Better get back on track.”
“She says that,” Chat Plus Sombre added merrily, “but it really doesn’t matter. It’s time travel. She’s gonna drop you in the same nanosecond no matter how much time we spend in here.”
“You can only say that because you haven’t faded from existence.”
Chat Plus Sombre flailed. “Don’t you dare listen to her, Minibug and Mini Me! I’ve stopped existing loads of times! I’m an expert at it! You just—whoosh!” He snapped his fingers. “Stop.”
So the new and improved Serious Chat Noir was not a step away from pointless self-sacrifice. His adult self sounded like it was half-badge of honor, half-hilarious to disappear. “It isn’t funny,” Ladybug said, feeling vaguely faint.
Cat Plus Sombre softened. “You liar, you’re not almost fifteen. That was pure fourteen-and-a-half.”
Ladybug crossed her arms. “Like you can tell. You thought I was thirteen a minute ago.”
“You had a bowl on your head! It’s not fair to judge my level of knowing you-ness by what I thought when you had a bowl on your head. I demand a re-do. Get me another Minibug, Bunnyx.”
“No. Stop.” Bunnyx inhaled. “Here is what is going to happen: they are going to do their mission. We are going to wait here. If they fail, we dip back into time and try again. We’ll do it as many times as it takes for them to get the win. Then, we’re going to go back to our time for the mission we were supposed to be doing. I will not be taking questions.”
Chat Plus Sombre held up a finger. “Not a question. Comment: We broke Mini Me.”
Bunnyx fisted her hands in her hair. “You said you don’t remember this!”
“I don’t. He’s just not having any fun with this, so I have concerns.”
It was a good point. Chat Noir had been awfully quiet. “Can you give us a minute?” Ladybug asked.
Chat Plus Sombre gestured to the Burrow. Yes, it was surprisingly large, but there was no privacy to be found. “Not really.”
“Pretend.” Ladybug shooed Bunnyx and Chat Plus Sombre to the far side of the ...what even was this? Plane of existence? Pocket dimension? Chat Noir sank to the floor, knees up and put the bowl back on his head.
“Kitty, what’s wrong?”
“Him. Me.”
Well, that was just crazy. “You realize you grow up to be Doctor Who, right? Pulling companions from time and space. You should be excited!”
“I’m trying so hard to not be that guy anymore. Looks like it doesn’t even matter.”
“What’s wrong with that guy?” Ladybug happened to like that guy a lot. So much so that seeing him curled in on himself like this was a complete crisis, disastrous enough to forestall all stuttering.
“Were you even paying attention to the way he talks about you?”
“I don’t like how me quitting seems normal to him, but I guess I just don’t understand why we’re both going to think it makes sense someday.”
Chat Noir’s shoulders hunched. “Thought so. He keeps calling you his and you don’t even notice. I stopped doing that.”
“I noticed you.”
“I know the nicknames didn’t mean anything to you, but they mattered to me.”
She should tell him that she missed the nicknames. She wanted to be his lady, his Bugaboo, his everything. But that wasn’t fair to him. He had a girlfriend now.
“Are you really fourteen and a half?”
That it was even a question to Chat Noir struck Ladybug with unexpected force. That level of specificity into their ages was so far into Secret Identity territory that they’d never gone there. Chat Noir didn’t know how old she was. But his adult self could pin it down within a span of months. Chat Plus Sombre knew her better than Ladybug had ever thought she and Chat Noir could realistically know each other.
Ladybug didn’t answer, but they both knew she didn’t need to.
“You quit, and he goes through time looking for different yous instead of just getting a new partner.”
“That’s not his fault,” Ladybug protested. “If I don’t give up the earrings, what else can he do?”
“It isn’t fair. I’m trying, Ladybug. I really am.”
She laid her hand on his shoulder and squeezed. “I know you are. You’ve matured so much. I’ve been really impressed these past couple of weeks. You’ve been awesome, and you shouldn’t look at him and feel like you’re not. Because he’s awesome. You’re still a superhero when you grow up, and a really good one. I’m jealous. I don’t grow up to be Doctor Who.”
Chat Noir eased the bowl back. “Let’s just do the mission and go home.”
Probably, Bunnyx and Chat Plus Sombre couldn’t avoid overhearing the conversation, but the polite thing to do would have been feign ignorance. Yet the moment Chat Noir announced he wanted to get it done and go home (and probably get an ego boost from his girlfriend), the illusion of privacy was shattered.
“That sounded like ready to roll to me!”
“Cross-Time Caper is go!” Chat Plus Sombre cocked one hidden eyebrow. “When are they going?”
Ladybug pulled Chat Noir to his feet and tossed his bowl aside. They followed Bunnyx to the window she beckoned them towards. It was Paris, of course, the beloved skyline marred by a whirling, writhing mass of red hovering in the air near Notre Dame. Bunnyx zoomed in.
The red was…ladybugs? Ladybug bit her lip. Those were her Miraculous Ladybugs of creation, but they weren’t repairing magical damage and disappearing. They were hard at work, diligently crafting something in the sky.
Bunnyx scrolled down, and on the street stood Chat Noir, (a third Chat Noir) staring up at the ladybugs, his face streaked with tears.
“Oh,” Chat Plus Sombre breathed. “This I remember.”
She had a feeling she knew the answer, but Ladybug asked anyway. “What’s going on?”
Grim, he said exactly what she suspected he would: “You’ve been akumatized, m’lady.”
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Miracle P3
Plot: What if it was love at first sight? Jihoons lost all passion for music after being wronged two years ago and right as he was about to quit, someone unexpectedly enters his life and changes it for the better
Pairing: Reader x Jihoon
Words: 3856
Warnings: A lot of chapters have a bit of swearing
Words: 3927
[11:00pm] Unknown - OMG I AM SO SORRY JI! (This Jihoon right?) I totally didn’t mean to not text you but I came home, had a small talk with Yoongi and literally passed out :(((( I am sooooo sorry!!!
[11:01pm] Woozi - Oh thank god...I almost called Yoongi and yea haha..I put my producer alias in your phone cause I already saw another Jihoon in there
[11:01pm] Woozi - Its okay...you were tired right? Why aren’t you sleeping?
[11:03pm] Y/N - You’re THE Woozi!? And why aren’t you?
[11:04pm] Woozi - I’m THE Woozi and I asked first ;)
[11:04pm] Y/N - I can’t believe it! Also I have some stuff to do~ Yoongi must’ve set an alarm for me or smth.
[11:04pm] Woozi - So late?!
[11:05pm] Y/N - Work never stops :)) Plus I have this tune in my head I need to get out or else I’ll hate myself if I forget it ><
[11:06pm] Woozi - I know that feel...listen, there was something I actually wanted to ask you…better yet..can I just call you?
[11:06pm] Y/N - Sure?
It was literally a few seconds later before your phone rang and you saw Jihoon’s number pop up and you quickly answered it.
“Hello?”
“Hey Y/N...sorry, I know it’s late…but”
“No...its okay whats up?” you asked as you heard the hesitation in Jihoons voice.
You could hear him let out a nervous breath and you patiently waited for him to continue.
“Do you...want to hang out next week? Like...just the two of us?” he asked quickly and you had to confirm that you actually heard right.
“Hang out…?” you asked and saw Yoongi standing by your bedroom door.
“No way” you mouthed as Yoongi’s eyebrow rose and he came to sit on your desk chair to listen to your conversation.
“I mean if you don’t want to it’s fine. I just thought..” Jihoon started as thoughts of taking back what he said started popping into his head.
“Oh no” you said cutting him off, “It’s not that. I’d love to...it’s just like, I dont know...Unexpected.”
“And fast.” you whispered away from your phone and Yoongi became more intrigued so he came to sit next to you on the bed so he could really listen to what Jihoon was saying.a
“I know...it’s just yea...It’s weird okay? I’m not really good at talking to girls but with you its just so natural and yea... Wait did you say you’d love to?” Jihoon asked sitting up straight in his bed and his eyes wide with surprise.
“Yes?” you answered and looked at Yoongi weirdly, as he started making kissy faces at you. “We’ll be starting the dance season soon so just let me know a time and place.” you smiled. You couldn’t believe the guys were right of all things.
“I will.” Jihoon said as an awkward silence engulfed you two. “I should get going...I can hear a rat on the other side of my bedroom door…”
“Oh really? Maybe I should send the cat that’s currently in mine to take care of the rat.” you said making Jihoon laugh as he imagined Yoongi showing up this late just to kick Soonyoung. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Jihoon said as you heard shuffling, “Oh, there’s two rats here that I’m going to have to squish.”
“See you tomorrow...and go easy on them. Rats are just rodents after all.” you said with a giggle.
“Oh and Y/N?” Jihoon called out before you hung up and you put the phone back to your ear.
“Good night and sweet dreams.” he whispered and you felt the heat rise to your cheeks.
“You too…” you said and quickly hung up just as Yoongi burst out laughing.
“Please tell me I am the best matchmaker in all of this country. I literally got two people together within a two day period.” he said holding his stomach as tears started streaming out of his eyes. “I knew talking about the other person would work but I really didn’t expect Jihoon to make the first move. I am the happiest brother alive right now.”
“Yea well you’re about to be a dead brother soon if you don’t get out of my room.” you said grabbing a pillow and smacking Yoongi with it as he continued laughing. “Seriously? The Woozi you would always talk about when you came to visit was Jihoon this whole time?”
“Of course. You know I never praise anyone unless they deserve it. Heck, you two are the only ones I’ve been mentoring.” Yoongi said, “And plus, you won’t have to worry about me or Jin approving since we already do.”
“Yes, cause you guys approving my relationships totally matter to me.” you said with a roll of your eyes and Yoongi scoffed.
“You know I can scare off any guy that hits on you within seconds flat. There’s no one good enough-”
“Except for Jihoon apparently.” you added.
“To date my little sister.” he finished and he pulled you into his arms, “Because you are our baby and if anyone fucks with you, they fuck with all of us.”
“Like those idiots who spread the rumors?” you asked and Yoongi nodded.
“The idiots who are currently attending the worst performing arts college in the country. Yes them.” he responded patting your hair, “You only deserve the best.”
Yoongi then flipped into mentor mode, you could tell just by the way he was looking at your studio set up, “Now let me see the piece that you had to lose so much sleep over last night to finish.”
Over the next few days, you had suddenly become extremely busy. Apart from working on the project with Jihoon, dance auditions took place and you were happy to see that Jihoon had auditioned and made the team along with three other people. You and Hoseok were also in the process of preparing the after school dance classes for people who weren’t in the dance program but still wanted to do it for fun and on top of that, you and Jihoon had your date coming up.
That didn’t mean that the two of you didn’t talk at all, in fact your friends had a feeling that the two of you talked too much. Even when working in your respective studios, the two of you had time to call one another to share a piece and give advice or even to go as far as to say hi and good night at times.
The guys of the house teased you endlessly about it and at the same time, the guys from the SVT frat house teased you about it too since they were too afraid to tease Jihoon after what he had done to Seungcheol and Soonyoung after your first phone call. Lets just say the two boys were bruised for days after he was done with them.
The date that Jihoon had set up was as simple as he was and you wouldn’t have had it any other way honestly. He took you out for dinner after dance practice one day and the two of you spent the rest of the time hanging out in your studio/bedroom talking and listening to a few pieces you had created till the early hours of the morning. Jihoon by far was impressed with the work you did but then again, you were Yoongi’s younger sister so the talent had to be passed down from somewhere. The night ended with Jihoon leaving around six in the morning to go back to his house and thankfully he had no classes that day and he was able to crash till about three in the afternoon while unfortunately you had to get ready for your usual dance meeting with the captains of the Senior and Junior team which consisted of Hoeseok, Soonyoung and Chan.
“Oh I really like this one.” Jihoon said as he clicked a piece you had worked on while in London, “I get travel vibes with this. Like road trip vibes.”
The two of you were back in your bedroom/studio a few weeks after your first date and it was safe to say that things were going steady. You never really talked about your feelings after the first date but it was obvious that actions showed how you felt for one another.
During classes, Jihoon would more often than not have his hand resting on the back side of your chair while the instructor would explain things or when it was lab time, he would have his hand wrapped around yours subconsciously as you worked on the various projects you were given. Even if it wasn’t a partner project, the two of you spent a lot of time working together, be it asking for input or just advice on the music in general.
He literally felt like he was on cloud nine when it came to spending time with you. Things were obviously going slow since you two hadn’t kissed yet (there were various times where Jihoon had to resist the urge) but it was also because things were new between the two of you and he didn’t want to push for anything and naturally, things just fell into place.
“It’s one of my favorites. I was going to submit it for a project but Yoongi wants me to work on something new for my final so I’m starting fresh.” you said talking about the final composition project, “What about you? Do you have anything yet?”
“I’m working on something.” Jihoon answered vaguely, “Yoongi’s actually giving me some advice on it.”
“Really?” you asked excitedly, “If Yoongi’s helping you with it then it has to be good...When can I listen to it?”
Jihoon gave you a smirk as he rolled over to the couch you were on from your desk. “At the end of year show case.”
“What?!” you said in complete shock, “B-But, that’s like months away! I should be able to listen to it before anyone else though...I am your girl-” you stopped yourself immediately as the words almost left your mouth and Jihoon only stared at you in shock at your almost slip. Had you really?
“What was that?” he asked rolling close to you as you hit your head with one of the pillows on the couch.
“Nothing, nothing at all.” you muttered as you felt him take the pillow away from you and felt lips press against your forehead instead.
Suddenly butterflies invaded your stomach and you felt your face turn extremely red. This was the first time Jihoon had ever initiated intimate contact between you two ever. Sure, he held your hand secretly under the tables here and there and he would play with your hair during class as his arm rested on the back of your hair but other than that, you two never really hugged or kissed or anything of that nature. You figured it was because of Jihoon’s past relationship that he was so careful but in reality, it was because he didn’t want to scare you off by being too straightforward.
“You can listen to the piece at the showcase and I promise that you will be front and center for it.” he whispered as he pulled you into his arms for an awkward sitting hug. All you could do was nod slowly as your arms wrapped around his waist.
“Okay.” you said as your head rested on his chest and the two of you stayed like that for who knew how long before Jin walked in with “snacks” he prepared. Aka low key checking on the two of you to see if you were doing anything “nasty”.
(A month and a half later)
[12:00am] Cheol - HAPPY BIRTHDAY Y/N!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HOPE YOU AND JIHOON FINALLY KISS ON YOUR SPECIAL DAY!
[12:00am] Hoshi - HAPPY BIRTHDAY Y/N!!! I CAN’T WAIT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY PARTY LATER! MAKE SURE JI SPOILS YOU OKAY?
[12:00am] Josh - Happy birthday Y/N! See you in class later!
[12:00am] Dino - Happy Birthday captain :) Does this mean that you’re going to skip our captains meeting for your party later?
[12:00am] Gyu - HAPPY BIRTHDAY Y/N!
[12:00am] Hansol - HAPPY BIRRRRTTHHHDAAAAYYY CAPPTAINNN!
[12:01am] Woozi - Happy Birthday ♥ I hope you’re getting some rest and that the guys aren’t blowing up your phone….if they are, I’ll kick their asses in the morning
At the same time as the texts were coming in, Kimi, Yoongi, Jin, Hoseok and the rest of the BTS Frat house came barging into your room singing happy birthday as you were actually trying to sleep for once since you had a jam packed day planned for your birthday which included going to the dance captains weekly meeting and submitting two projects for different classes.
After blowing out the candle on the cake Jin had made, you were forced to stay awake till three in the morning since the guys wanted to celebrate a bit with you before the big party that night where they were sure Jihoon would take most of your attention. Kimi stayed the night in your room and the two of you ended up talking about Soonyoung and Jihoon for another hour before either of you fell asleep. To top it all off, Jihoon was going to be busy with Yoongi until your party so you wouldn’t see him for most of the day until after you were done your captains meeting that evening.
Jihoon sat on a bench outside the dance building playing games on his phone as he waited for you. He had the whole evening planned out from the moment you stepped out of the building and was ensured by Soonyoung and Yoongi that it was full proof. He quickly checked the time and saw that it was around the time your meeting would finish so he decided to get up and make his way over when a familiar voice stopped him in his tracks.
“Jihoon?”
He turned to the source of the voice and his breath caught in his throat as the girl who had once invaded his mind stood in front of him. The girl who he hadn’t thought of for close to three months now...not since meeting you.
“Hana…” he whispered as the girl smiled with a nod and started walking towards him but she stopped when she saw someone approach Jihoon from behind.
You were finally free from your captains meeting and had sent a text to Jihoon letting him know that you were leaving the building. When you saw his blonde head a few feet away from the entrance, you couldn’t help the grin that made its way to your face and you quickly made your way to him intent on surprising him but you paused for a moment when you noticed her. The girl that had broken Jihoon’s heart, the one who had broken his trust.
You remembered when Jihoon had opened up about his past relationship with Hana a few weeks after you met. He told you one day while the two of you were working in your studio about everything. From how she made the school accuse Jihoon of plagiarism so he wouldn’t get accepted into an advanced program when in reality, it was her who had stolen his music during their relationship and selling it to outside artist behind his back. The only way he found out was through a friend who was part of the music scene saying that he was offered a piece that sounded familiar to something he had worked on with Jihoon before. He had let everything out and it eventually lead him to his biggest confession of the night.
(Flashback)
“Did you confront her about it?” you asked as the two of you sat on the couch facing each other and Jihoon nodded his head.
“She denied everything...she said that I had taken the pieces she worked on and sold it and completely flipped the story. It blew me away, it broke all my trust. I literally felt like I had nothing left…I left my friends behind to go to a different college for her...” he said looking down at your intertwined hands and felt comfort as you ran your thumbs across his palm repeatedly. “I called Soon and Cheol and they convinced me to transfer...apparently they had shown Yoongi some of my work that I kept under wraps and only shared with them.”
“Let me guess, Yoongi was impressed and wanted to work with you right away.” you said and Jihoon nodded his head, “Yoongi knows talent when he sees it Ji. But that’s such a shitty thing that happened to you...It would be like me sharing Yoongi’s works behind his back and making a profit from it. It’s just not right and I’m so sorry you had to go through bull shit like that.”
“I just...I can’t let it happen again Y/N...I need you to understand that I really do like you and aftering hearing so much about you from Yoongi and finally being able to meet you...two years doesn’t really do what he’s told me justice. You’re more amazing than I could have ever imagined and you’re so caring towards all your friends…Everything with you from music, to common interests is just so natural...I’ve never felt this way with anyone before...until you.” he let out a breath and squeezed your hand when he saw you open your mouth to speak and you took it as a sign that he wanted to continue.
“The reason I’m telling you this is because I want you to know that if we...continue whatever we’re doing that you’re dealing with someone whos damaged. Someone who may not love or trust so easily but if you give me the chance will give you the whole world but if at any point you need an out or if somethings bothering you, you need to let me know Y/N...don’t hide things from me...I can’t...no matter what it is. Even if its stupid, I can’t let it go. She’s done so much damage to me that before I met you, I really felt like I had no purpose in life anymore…”
“And now?” your asked softly as Jihoon squeezed your hands and brought them up to his lips to place a gentle kiss on them making you blush intensely.
“I want to work harder on my music more than ever...working with Yoongi is one thing, but getting encouragement from you is another. You make me feel like a better person.” he said looking you in the eyes, “To see that smile on your face... I want to become a better person. Just...don’t do what she did to me...don’t break my trust Y/N..please.” Jihoons voice broke as you leaned over to hug him tightly and you felt his arms wrap around your waist bringing you closer to him and you felt the tears seep through your shirt. He didn’t want to admit to you that he had fallen fast and hard for you from day one. He wasn’t ready for that nor was he ready for your potential rejection.
At some point during that time, Jihoon had fallen asleep after crying and it was around midnight when Yoongi poked his head in to see you on your phone while lying on the couch while Jihoon slept in your bed, the tear stains evident from before.
You gave your brother a reassuring smile and told him that you’d be okay since you were currently working on a piece at that moment and had no intentions on sleeping soon. You had too much on your mind and had sudden urges to rip one Kim Hana into shreds for hurting someone like Jihoon like that.
(End Flashback)
There was no way you were letting a girl like her enter his life again, he did not deserve the pain she put him through and that was a straight fact.
“Ji!” you called out jogging over to him.
Jihoon turned around just in time to see your smiling face coming towards him and suddenly all thoughts he previously had disappeared until he saw the bags under your eyes and he suddenly became concerned.
“Hey Birthday Girl.” he said and poked your eye bags, “Did the guys keep you up with the messages last night?” he asked with a frown and you automatically shook your head.
“The boys from the house and Kimi knocked my door down at midnight because they wanted to be the first ones to celebrate with me till about three am...then Kimi and I talked for another hour after that....” you said and gave him the smile that always warmed his heart, “But your birthday message meant the most to me...more so than the cake Jin had spent the day slaving over.”
“I wouldn’t let him hear you say that…Or else you won’t eat for another week like last time” Jihoon muttered as he interlaced his hand with yours, “We should get going though, there’s something I wanted to do before your party.”
“What’s that?” you asked as he started leading you somewhere, passing Hana in the process.
You were surprised to see Jihoon completely ignore her as the two of you walked by and when you turned around, you saw her staring at the two of you and once your eyes made contact, you finally recognized her as someone who had attended the same program in London that you had but had gotten kicked out for unknown reasons after her first year.
“No freaking way…” you whispered catching Jihoons attention.
“What was that?” he asked and you looked up at him with big eyes.
“Is Hana Seungcheol’s cousin?” you asked out of the blue but Jihoon nodded anyways.
“That’s how we met.” Jihoon said, “How did you know?”
“I’ll tell you later…” you said biting your lip, “Where are we going?”
“Stopping by my place for a quick bit before we go to the party.” he answered as you turned a corner.
“Why?” you asked.
“Forgot your birthday present. Let’s go.” he said walking faster after he looked at his watch. He had quite a bit to do but he also promised Jin he wouldn’t be late for the party either.
Meanwhile, Hana was stuck to the spot she had been in when she first saw Jihoon till someone tapped her shoulder. She turned around to see an acquaintance she had met through a friend at school.
“Hey, you’re Hana right? I’m Lina, we met a few months back at the concert.” the girl said introducing herself.
“I remember you.” Hana said with a smile, “Thanks for showing me around for the week.”
“It’s no problem. You’re actually in luck too. One of the biggest Frat houses here is having a birthday bash for one of their friends and I was lucky enough to get an invite. Want to be my plus one?” Lina asked and Hana nodded her head.
“I’m always up for a party. Let’s go.” she said as the two linked arms.
Little did Hana know, she was about to have the shock of her life once she walked through the doors.
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