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#literally no one would think those were good pictures
random percy headcanons:
wants to be the photographer friend SO bad and he technically is but like 70% of the pics come out blurry or weird bc there was a monster attack in the middle of them. his instagram is truly so chaotic looking.
literally always has seashells on him someone will ask him for a pencil or spare change and he has to empty all his pockets of shells to find it. drops his backpack and a bunch of shells fall out. kicks his shoes off and sand and shells fly out and his mortal friends are like percy What the Fuck
his eyes glow underwater!! bioluminescent king. no one told him though and he didn't find out until he joined his school's swim team and terrified everyone (he managed to convince them his contacts were having a weird reaction to chlorine lmao)
he really likes art!! he doesn't just pretend to for rachel's sake he genuinely enjoys painting with her. he likes splatter paint, collages and pop art styles the best. one day after splitting some edibles they realized percy could manipulate water colors and went CRAZY with it
will ask to be excused during class and comes back like an hour later with scorch marks all over his face bleeding from one of his ears covered in dust missing three fingernails rips in his jeans and a fat lip and the teacher is like percy what the actual hell were you doing in the bathroom all this time and he's just like uhhhhhh I have ibs
the brand from camp jupiter did unfortunately (for sally) Unlock something in him lmfao he keeps getting shitty little tattoos. usually stick-n-poke but someone's friends cousin's girlfriend's brother has a gun that gets brought to parties every now and then. most of them are sloppy but you can tell what they are HOWEVER he has one that was supposed to be a seal that came out looking like one of those shitty ms paint crying memes. annabeth laughed at him for ten minutes straight when she saw it.
he wanted to dye his hair blue but he was too chicken to bleach his entire head so he just did the tips. his hair is curly though so it looks absolutely ridiculous but he loves it
percy and annabeth get a crusty little yappy white dog in college and he carries it around like a baby lmao
back to his chaotic instagram, he's got so many pics of him like, relaxing at the bottom of the mariana trench or hugging a giant squid or riding on a whale shark and his mortal friends all think he's just really good at photoshop and this is a very specific bit he decided to commit to. they're always like lol percy where do you even FIND these pictures are you subscribed to like scientific journals for the laughs? but no he just took them all on his shell phone
has an ongoing prank war with annabeth's little brothers bobby and matthew but like it's Unhinged. they're playing 5D chess and she has no idea whats going on
weird tshirts!!! he loves them! like
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shit like this or those 'women want me fish fear me' shirts, anything with a funny or incomprehensible slogan is going in his closet right along with his band tees lmfao
bought estelle a panda pillow pet when she was born 🥺
can NOT bring himself to eat seafood no matter how many times poseidon has told him its fine. he's like NO these are my FRIENDS JONATHAN WAS TELLING ME ABOUT HIS GRANDDAUGHTERS WEDDING LITERALLY YESTERDAY WHY IS HE ON A PLATTER DAD. they had to give up and just start eating normal land food at the palace every time he comes to visit lmfao
gets into horsegirl antics with hazel she NEEDS to know everything the horses have to say. they spend hours gossiping in the stables.
movie nights in the poseidon cabin were 10000% a thing and when he was missing annabeth and thalia and grover (and a few others) would still sleep in there every now and then and talk about how much they miss him :(
percy and beckendorf had the worlds most elaborate handshake
he DOES impulse buy stuff just because they're ocean-themed. stuffed animals, home decor, school supplies, clothes, you name it he bought it if theres like a fish on it
has more scars from crashing off his skateboard than he does from monster attacks
grover is somehow the only person who's ever noticed percy is severely claustrophobic
has a deep passion for adele. I can't explain this one I just feel and know it to be true.
he and annabeth both proposed to each other at the same time and they were SO mad about it they kept yelling over each other's speeches lmao
he can SING but he doesn't know it. sally keeps trying to record him singing to himself but something always happens to the camera and she loses the evidence
called chiron a brony one time and mr d thought it was so funny he was nice to percy for an entire week
the camp keeps trying to convince him to teach sword fighting lessons to the younger kids but he can NOT bring himself to swing a sword at a 9 year old so he keeps getting injured
has the most complicated iced coffee order in the world his go-to local coffee shop finally just put the damn drink on the menu and named it after him
he IS the quiet kid in the back of your math class that always has his hood up to try and hide his headphones and eats increasingly elaborate meals out of his backpack when the teacher isn't looking. one time someone caught him with a rotisserie chicken in the middle of a geometry final.
he argued that he DID have enough to share with the class
currently obsessed with the image of him knocking back a container of sea salt as if it was a shot and his mortal friends being like hey! what the actual fuck! and he's just like uhhhhh anemia kills!
its his birthday<3
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innerwomen · 2 months
Text
To the paparazzi.
Paring: Husband!Bruce Wayne x (batmom) F!Reader
SUMMARY: At a gala you hear reports negative comments towards you but you brush it off, but when someone mentions your children? Peace was never an option.
TYPE: angst with sweet revenge
WARNING: body shaming. Swearing. This takes place in the original DC AU the only difference is that COVID-19 also took place (quarantine).
Reminder: you are beautiful, so who gives a shit what they say? (If you have any requests, I would love to know!! Don’t be shy!)
“And next we have… Oh my god! It’s Bruce Wayne and wife Y/n Wayne! This is the first time we’ve seen them out in public since Covid-19 lockdown!” The reporter was just one of many people screaming, taking pictures or asking questions towards you and Bruce.
After two years or complete lockdown, Gothams elites were back at it again with the parties, galas, and charities. And as the wife of a socialist, you and Bruce had a lot of events to attend. You and your husband were making your way into the after party for the election of the Mayor, the one Barbara Gordon won. You had to admit you slightly missed the parties, and the music, and the social interactions. But god, you’ve always hated the paparazzi.
“While it looks like Mr.Wayne kept himself busy at the gym during quarantine, looks like Y/n was taking it easy.” You heard a reporter say as she looked you over, judging.
“Seems like we are going to be seeing a weight loss journey from Mrs.Wayne coming soon. Hopefully.” Another snarking comment.
You heard the comments, they wanting you to hear them. Bruce heard them too; it was bothering him and he wanted to say something about it. “Y/n, give me the word and I swear- those people won’t have a job in three lifetimes.”
“Bruce, don’t let it get to you, I don’t. I couldn’t give two shits what those people say about me, what do they know? I look good, and I feel good.” Though you were appreciative, you didn’t need Bruce to defend you. When you were younger, you probably would have let those comments get to you, but as you’ve matured, you realize, no one can pay you enough to care what people think.
You and Bruce were at the end of the carpet and about to make your way inside the building when suddenly you hear, “If this is her, I would hate to see how her sons have gotten. The once handsome Wayne sons, may have let themselves go, and their daughter? She was chubby to begin with, imagine her now….!”
You’re furious, you couldn’t believe somebody had the actual audacity to speak about your children that way. Literal children. You were all about ‘not letting it get to you’ but messing with someone kids? That’s a whole different story.
You let go of Bruce’s hand and grab the woman by the shirt collar, “Listen hear, I couldn’t care less about what you say about me…” you bring her closer, “but if you ever say anything about my children again; I will pull your tongue out of your mouth, drag it around your neck, and strangle you with it.” You keep eye contact the whole time, letting her know, you aren’t playing around. “Do you understand?”
“Y-yes… sorry….” You felt her quiver. Good.
You let go of her and she immediately collapses onto the ground. You walk back to Bruce, grasp his hand and walk inside. “Are we going to act like… none of that just happened?” Bruce asked as he glanced down at you.
“She’s so lucky this dress is tight, if not, I would have punched her so hard in the vocal cords she’d become mute.” You say irritated.
“I think she’s learned her lesson, honey. Let’s get you a drink.” He smiles as he walks you over to the bar. “By the way,” his voice drops and he whispers to you, “that was so hot, seeing you put her in her place.”
You felt your cheeks blush and you shoo him, “Just get me my drink.”
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matchingbatbites · 8 months
Text
"What the fuck did you do?"
Eddie wasn't expecting hostility when he answered Jeff's phone call, his best friend's usual calm demeanor replaced with open annoyance. And yeah, okay, the annoyance itself wasn’t new, but Eddie doesn’t think he’s actually done anything recently to earn it.
"Well-"
"Actually, no. I'll tell you what you did. You retweeted photos of Steve Harrington - internationally beloved heartthrob actor Steve Harrington - along with the caption 'not to sound like a subby slut but GOD I would be his puppy baby boy in a heartbeat'. So I guess the better question is, what the fuck were you thinking, Eddie?"
Eddie's jaw clicks shut because- yeah, he had done that. Had seen those photos of Steve smoking circling the internet and spent god knows how long just staring at them, had curbed the desire to shove his hand down his pants by posting a single thirst tweet about it.
“I was thinking, Jeff, that I'm allowed to post whatever I want to my private fucking twitter, man. I mean it's a free country, isn't a guy allowed to make a horny tweet about a sexy man every now and then?”
“You are, when you actually post it to your private account and not our award winning band's main account.”
No. Oh no. There's no way Eddie actually-
He rips his phone away from his face to open twitter, and realizes two things simultaneously. One, Jeff is right, he had posted it to the band's account. Not on his private, locked, personal account, but on the account that's actually open and free for literally anyone on earth to look at.
The second thing he realizes is that their notifications are currently flooded with responses to Eddie's tweet, somehow racking up into the thousands in the few hours it's been since. 
Jesus Christ.
“Eddie?”
The metalhead jerks back into the moment and put Jeff on speaker so he can scroll through the horde of replies, says “Fuck, I fucked up. Are we gonna have to do damage control on this?”
In the mess is a reply from Gareth's own personal account: @ corrodededdie stop tweeting from the band account challenge 🙄🙄🙄
”Maybe. There hasn't been any type of response from Harrington or his people, but they might ask us to take it down if it blows up too much.“
Eddie hums, thinking they might be too little, too late about it blowing up too much, and flips over to his main account so he can reply to Gareth's little jab appropriately. He isn't surprised to see that he has a couple of new messages, probably from other people wondering just what the fuck Eddie was thinking, but when he goes to check them-
He's never been happier that he turned on messages from followers only, because then he would have missed this, missed Steve Harrington's little profile picture beaming up at him from the screen of his phone, along with a new message request.
”Jeff, I gotta go,” he says, not even realizing he's cut the other man off.
“Eddie, what-
”Harrington messaged me. I'll call you back.“
Eddie doesn't wait for a response as he hangs up on Jeff, and his hands definitely aren't shaking as he opens the message from Steve. And listen- Eddie is a fan of the guy, that much should be obvious. 
Steve had grown in popularity around the same time Corroded Coffin had; he’d gotten some part in a drama film that had skyrocketed him into stardom, and Eddie fell in love the moment he saw that gorgeous face on the silver screen for the first time. He's never had a chance to interact with the guy, has been in the same place a few times but always missed him, like ships passing in the night, but Eddie's been fine with pining from afar, just like every other person on the planet that's even remotely attracted to men.
Besides, even with how popular Corroded Coffin has gotten over the years - a couple of Grammy’s here, a dozen chart topping metal songs there - Eddie doesn’t expect Steve to just. Know who Eddie is.
With all of this in mind, Eddie is expecting some kind of semi-casual request to take the tweet down, that it's not a good look for his image-
Anything other than what Steve actually sent.
'If you're puppy baby boy, does that make me Master? Or Daddy?'
And Eddie- 
Eddie slides down, sinks into his couch cushion as all of the blood in his body suddenly shifts, rushing to fill his dick like it's a fucking race. The phone almost slips out of his hand and he fumbles it briefly before taking a deep breath. 
Is Steve serious? He wouldn't send that if he wasn't serious, right?
This could be it, could be Eddie's one chance to impress Steve, to get his foot in the door of Steve's interest. He bites his lip and types out a reply, something quick that he sends before he can change his mind.
‘I’m open to either, actually. Do you have a preference, sir?’
He doesn’t expect the typing indicator to come up immediately, and just knowing that Steve is somewhere right now, typing out a response to Eddie, is enough to have him nearly vibrating in his seat.
‘I’m partial to Daddy, myself.’
Fuck fuck fuck.
Eddie takes a breath, tries to think of a response that isn’t just ‘Please, Daddy, can I sit on your massive dick that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about since that one indie film you did that just had all of your junk out in the open?’
Steve saves him by sending another message.
‘But maybe we could start with Steve, and possibly dinner? Though I’d be happy to see where things go after that.’
He- What-
Eddie must have stopped breathing, because the next time he takes a breath his lungs burn, his mid races because there’s no way Eddie’s long term celebrity crush just asked him on a date. He sits there long enough that the screen goes dark and he scrambles to turn it back on, sees the message still there, real and unchanged.
There’s no way he can say no to this, to Steve, and his hands shake as he types out a response.
‘Dinner would be great. Just name the time and place, Daddy.’
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m1ckeyb3rry · 4 months
Text
what it’s like to bring the jjk boys to…have dinner with your family!
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ft. fushiguro megumi, fushiguro toji, gojo satoru, geto suguru, ijichi kyotaka, inumaki toge, itadori yuji, kamo choso, kamo noritoshi, mahito, muta kokichi, nanami kento, okkotsu yuta, panda, ryomen sukuna, todo aoi, yaga masamichi, yoshino junpei, zenin naoya
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warnings: not all of these are romantic! reader is lowkey desi coded in some of them. reader is mentioned to have a brother, dogs, aunts/uncles, and cousins in some of them. reader slanders like 75% of the characters. honestly the characters might be ooc too i wrote this two years ago for fun and giggles and just found it again and wanted to post. also tw naoya!
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FUSHIGURO MEGUMI
Literally perfect
Your parents love him
Your dogs love him
You love him
Was kind of quiet at first but settled in eventually and opened up a bit
Was still kind of reserved but that’s to be expected from him
Your mother found it sweet that he tried to hide behind you when your uncles started interrogating getting to know him 
He let your younger cousins play with his shikigami so that your dogs could get a break from being bothered
Really liked the salad your mother made and asked for the recipe
1000/10 
FUSHIGURO TOJI
Actually not too bad
Was polite enough and liked the food
Showed your parents pictures of Megumi as a baby
They were suitably impressed
Your cousin asked him where he goes to the gym
He told him he doesn’t believe in gyms (thinks they’re oppressive institutions designed to disadvantage the poor?)
Did give him a discount code for some random protein powder that he’s sponsored by though
Asked your parents to donate to his charity
They were happy to do so and thought it was amazing that he has a charity
You decided not to tell them that his “charity” is literally just his bank account
4/10 for scamming your family
GOJO SATORU
Solid 7/10
Goofs around a lot but he did come so he gets points for that
Your parents hated him at first but then he showed them the album of cute Megumi pictures he has saved on his phone and they switched up
“He’s so responsible for raising a kid so young! And it’s not even his!”
Bullshit
He does NOT raise Megumi and you were the one who sent him half of those pictures 
Demoted to a 6/10 just for that but at least your parents like him
Also the fact that he had an album was cute
Somehow managed to keep the dirty jokes to a minimum
Your brother kept making fun of his eyes being so blue so halfway through he had to switch the glasses out for the blindfold
Surprisingly high spice tolerance
GETO SUGURU
Honestly really a fun guy!
Actually brought his own dish to the dinner??
AND IT WAS GOOD????
Your mother wants you two to get married now
Asked if he could take some leftovers back for Mimiko and Nanako
Which was very considerate of him actually
Your mother told him he didn’t have to return the dishes she packed the food in
Let your brother win at Scrabble
Listened to your mother talk about the auntie drama
Apparently he’s going to start putting coconut oil in his hair now
Your parents are going to adopt him and kick you out
9/10 would’ve been higher but he didn’t beat your brother’s ass at Scrabble (he wanted to “make a good impression”)
IJICHI KYOTAKA
Similar to Nanami in that he and your father got along really well
Your brother called him “goofy”
He had to go to the bathroom and cry after that
He did compose himself and came back to eat
Can handle spicy food quite well
Complimented your mother’s cooking
Brought flowers as a thank you for the dinner
Was super sweet and grateful to be invited at all
11/10 would definitely invite him again
INUMAKI TOGE
Everyone was really excited to meet him
Let your cousins play with his hair and do his make up and paint his nails
Was your partner for Charades and you two won by a LOT
Kept sneaking treats to your dogs
Your mother ordered seafood for him because he could only speak in rice ball ingredients and she thought he really wanted salmon
He did eat it though
He would be a 10/10 but he accidentally used his Cursed Speech on your aunt so 8/10
ITADORI YUJI
Somehow lit the grill on fire
Managed to put it out but he did lose his eyebrows in the process unfortunately
Looked stupid without eyebrows
Spent most of his time hanging out with the little kids
Your family actually really liked him though
He’s too sweet to dislike
Helped wash the dishes and did not break any
7/10 because you almost had to call the fire department
KAMO CHOSO
Showed up an hour late
Was friendly but kinda nervous and awkward at first
Loved the food
He and your brother are best friends now
Genuinely he gets along better with your brother than with you
Impressed your father with his history knowledge
3/10 was too perfect and now your parents keep asking why you’re not more like him
KAMO NORITOSHI
He hates kids
Spent the entire first half running away from your cousins
Once he finally escaped he got along great with the adults
They really liked how responsible and mature he is
Thought it was impressive that he’s going to be the clan head
Your aunt told you that he was a keeper and you should “marry for money, hope for love”
Started crying when your mother asked him if she could hang up his jacket for him
It reminded him of his own mother who he was forced to leave as a kid 
All of your aunts have unofficially adopted him now due to his tragic backstory
Deserves 10/10 just for being relatively normal 
MAHITO
-892378/10 your parents couldn’t see him because he’s a curse
He was very happy to hear that and nearly destroyed your house
You had to call Geto halfway through to chase him off
Your family was thrilled to see Geto again though so at least there’s that??
MUTA KOKICHI
Sent a robot in his place obviously
Everyone wanted to know why you brought a robot to dinner
They thought you had hit a new low
You had to explain that Mechamaru was basically his body because of how weak his actual body was
Nobody believed you
-3/10 he was nice but it was overall a humiliating experience
NANAMI KENTO
Cannot eat anything spicy
Started tearing up at the appetizers alone
Had a massive stomach ache afterwards and his face was red for like twenty minutes 
Your father liked talking to him about business and the economy and shit
Did not get scared when asked about his plans for the future
Actually has plans for the future
Your brother is kind of gay for him tbh (??) and threatened to marry him if you don’t 
10/10 because he still finished everything on his plate so he didn’t seem rude even though he was lowkey dying 
OKKOTSU YUTA
Tried his best
Your dogs tried to leave with him because they liked him so much
He brought gifts from Africa for your entire family
Did stop a toddler from getting kidnapped
Is physically really good at grilling but emotionally cannot handle the stress
Had a mental breakdown when you asked for a vegetable burger
Made the discovery that he really likes corn and proceeded to eat all of the corn you had bought for the night so nobody else got any 
Summoned Rika and allowed your cousins to use her as their dress up doll
Rika was very nice and enjoyed the experience
She wants to be a fashion model now
2/10 he burnt your vegetable burger and you were really looking forward to having some corn
PANDA
Is a panda
Your younger cousins thought he was adorable
You got asked multiple times if he was a furry
5/10 he was only invited because he had nothing else to do and you had to chase him with a hose beforehand because he refused to bathe
RYOMEN SUKUNA
-1244129/10
An asshole but what’s new 
Told your family to “go back to where you came from”
Degraded your parents
Degraded you
Degraded everyone really
You got into a fight with him and Gojo had to intervene
Did ask for one of your mother’s recipes so he could get Uraume to cook it for him
She did not give it to him
TODO AOI
See you thought this would be hell on earth
But it wasn’t???
Played with your dogs
Carried your cousins around on his shoulders
Your uncles were impressed by his muscles
He saved a kitten that was stuck in a tree
Did not ask a single person about their type in women
Annihilated everyone in Wii Sports Resort
Absolutely sucked at Just Dance though
He thought he was too manly for the wrist strap but then he threw the remote into the TV while playing Wii bowling and it broke
6/10 he said he’d pay for a new one
YAGA MASAMICHI
Literally your boss
Only invited him because you wanted a raise
He liked the food
Exchanged sewing tips with your mother
200/10 you got the raise
YOSHINO JUNPEI
Really cool!
Gave everyone good movie recommendations
Someone gave him a baby to hold and he nearly dropped it
Burnt his hand on the grill
Found your uncles’ shitty jokes funny so they all liked him
He was decent at debating with everyone and having intellectual conversations even though he cried whenever someone disagreed with him too harshly
Your parents were very dismayed to see the cigarette burn scars on his face
Your mother told him he could always come to your house if he needed to
4/10 because he almost gave a baby brain damage 
ZENIN NAOYA
Told your parents about your sex life
Called your mother “woman”
Your cousins have a crush on him solely based on his looks
He thinks he has a harem now
0/10 they are all like 13 years old
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astonmartinii · 8 months
Text
ultimate wing man | daniel ricciardo social media au
pairing: daniel ricciardo x horner!reader y/n is notoriously single, and her dad decides to take it into his own hands.
masterlist
if you want to leave a tip x
yourusername
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liked by christianhorner, danielricciardo and 603,561 others
yourusername: galentines was a must this year
view all comments
user1: this girl cute and rich how come no man has come in for her?
yourusername: i ask myself that everyday tbf i am a catch 🎣
user2: i need to be her friend asap
christianhorner: looking lovely darling as usual
yourusername: thank you papa
yourbff1: thank you for the champagne father horner
yourbff2: thank you for driving to london to pick us up at 2am father horner
yourbff3: sorry for throwing up in the porsche father horner
christianhorner: no worries girls, all will be forgiven if you convince y/n to go on the date i set up for her
yourusername: will you stopppppppp i just got out of a relationship ur not gonna be grandpa for a good fucking while
christianhorner: you can be the one to tell your mum that
yourusername: please your ego can't take being called grandpa
user4: so what i'm hearing is i need to be friends with y/n to get my nights out paid for by christian horner
user5: i know yall hate christian but his relationships with his kids kinda make me like him
user6: no i agree with you, it's super cute and you can't handle that he's just good at his job
maxverstappen1: oh i see, @danielricciardo why didn't we get our tabs covered?
danielricciardo: clearly aren't loved as much here :(
yourusername: i mean i'm his literal flesh and blood
maxverstappen1: but we make him money ???
yourusername: and i spend it?
danielricciardo: so we're funding the galentines benders?
yourusername: eh probably, i do have a job but i'd rather spend other people's money lol
user7: she's so real
user8: she is my professor of girl maths
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christianhorner
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liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 408,943 others
tagged: yourusername, maxverstappen1, danielricciardo
christianhorner: had to get the grill out for this bank holiday weekend with the family
view all comments
user10: christian referring to max and dan as family sergio i am so sorry
user11: the state of the seasoning makes me think that sergio dodged a bullet
yourusername: thank you papa but disappointed not to see you wearing the apron i got you for christmas
christianhorner: i'm sorry y/n but i'm not going to wear a "this chef wants to fuck toto wolff" apron at a family event
yourusername: shame, you wear daniel's merch all the time
danielricciardo: awwww christian i'm blushing
user12: i'm sorry christian horner owns a "this chef wants to fuck toto wolff" apron and we haven't seen it
user13: y/n horner you are a national treasure for real
maxverstappen1: woah who are those sexy guys in the last picture?
yourusername: the way i can't escape yall even at family events
maxverstappen1: not our fault ur dad loves us
danielricciardo: though there are definite perks
christianhorner: my cooking skills?
danielricciardo: sure...
user14: christian's obsession with daniel needs to be studied
yourusername: i think it's just a horner thing tbf
user15: HUH?
user16: i mean who isn't obsessed with daniel
liked by yourusername
user17: to be honest i would love for y/n and daniel to be a thing i am TIRED of constantly reading about how her latest bf has cheated on her
user18: for real that girl is in the trenches all the time she needs a good guy
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yourusername
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liked by danielricciardo, alexalbon and 650,450 others
yourusername: not really the dress for a pasta dinner but look at the material
view all comments
user22: miss ma'am i thought we were a no on the dating thing for a while
yourusername: i'm dumb i know but i have a good feeling about this one !!
user23: i think i've seen this film before
yourusername: have some faith my dad picked him so it's not my terrible taste
maxverstappen1: wait so you actually went on the date your dad set up for you?
yourusername: uh yeah when you have taste this bad you need intervention
maxverstappen1: you said it not me
yourusername: you said nothing every time i brought them to the garage
maxverstappen1: not to your face lol i was trying to be nice in front of your dad
yourusername: hmmmmmm well part of me thinks you guys won't have any complaints about this one
user23: i hate that i am so invested in this
alexalbon: so the date happened and lily and i still haven't gotten the debrief yet? i see how it is.
yourusername: bro i just got home and sat down give me some time
alexalbon: let me put the kettle on and then call us
yourusername: i can't promise i can tell you who it was just yet
lilymunhe: you're such a tease !!!
yourusername: gentleman don't kiss and tell
user24: walk with me: christian set this date up, christian loves daniel, daniel and the guy in the picture both have tattoos, daniel usually comments on all of y/n's posts but is silent on this one
user25: get a life (i believe you 100%).
danielricciardo
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liked by christianhorner, yourusername and 1,209,667 others
tagged: yourusername
danielricciardo: enchante
view all comments
user26: WHAT IS GOING ON IN THE HOUSE OF COMMONS
user27: daniel really said fuck y/n's soft launch
maxverstappen1: YES the garage owe me $50
yourusername: you bet on who my date was?
maxverstappen1: well i bet even though it was the most obvious thing in the world who your dad would choose
yourusername: my dad has good taste?
user28: it's annoying me how cute this is
user29: i need it to be me next time
yourbff1: father horner can you matchmake for me next please, anyone on the grid will work
christianhorner: my days of being cupid are over unfortunately, pulling this off was way too stressful
user30: you telling me horner gets more stressed over setting his daughter up rather than whole ass races
yourusername: you're lucky you're sexy i had the whole soft launch planned out
danielricciardo: my sexiness has gotten me out of a lot in life
yourusername: it won't get you out of this family dinner though
danielricciardo: oh please your dad is only having dinner so he can see me
yourusername: unfortunately true, at least i love you as well now
danielricciardo: you always did, don't lie
yourusername: yeah but i don't want to inflate your ego any more
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maxverstappen1
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liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and 803,459 others
tagged: yourusername, danielricciardo
maxverstappen1: someone save me from the constant torture of third wheeling
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user32: max is such a mood, i too become suicidal around any happy couple
yourusername: i don't remember you complaining when we literally made you dinner and hung out with you all night because you were "bored and lonely and wanted to annoy us"
maxverstappen1: *annoy my favourites
danielricciardo: we're well aware we're your favourites, we're the only ones who will tolerate you
maxverstappen1: well when you put it like that it makes me sad
yourusername: nooooo maxy we love you
user33: max using a meme of himself is peak max verstappen behaviour i can't lie
landonorris: wait so where was my invitation?
yourusername: this wasn't an invite only event it was me and daniel trying to have an evening in
maxverstappen1: but i thought you liked that i bought jimmy and sassy :(
yourusername: I LOVE THEM PLEASE HELP ME CONVINCE DANIEL TO GET A CAT
danielricciardo: i love you so much but we can barely feed ourselves and max so maybe we shouldn't be in charge of another living creature
yourusername: can we at least cat sit :(
danielricciardo: of course honey
user34: oh to be drinking wine on the couch with my boy friend daniel ricciardo
yourusername
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liked by christianhorner, charles_leclerc and 780,563 others
tagged: danielricciardo
yourusername: thank you dad, you picked a good one x
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user35: i'm so jealous rn don't hit me up
danielricciardo: i think you picked THE ONE
yourusername: he's never going to shut up about this but i'll deal with it to be with you
danielricciardo: i'm blushing y/n
yourusername: i can make you do a lot more than blush
maxverstappen1: CHILDREN PRESENT
user36: this shit is like a straight up fairytale, christian should actually go into professional matchmaking
user37: girl yeah this match was made in heaven but we all know it's because christian LOVES daniel as well
user38: he's been gagging for daniel to be his son in law since like 2014
landonorris: thank god this happened, this man was PINING for so fucking long
danielricciardo: okay like no need to blast me
yourusername: omg you pined too, suddenly i'm not as much of a loser as i once thought
danielricciardo: you were never a loser babe
landonorris: maybe you were if you had a crush on him in 2014
danielricciardo: LANDO I WAS A CATCH IN 2014
yourusername: you've always been a catch babe don't worry
christianhorner: i know what i'm doing, i'm glad you're finally happy
yourusername: thank you dad xx
danielricciardo: thank you soon to be dad xx
user39: WHAT
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danielricciardo
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danielricciardo: i drove in your dad's wedding, but it'll be ours next
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user39: i think i heard christian's screams of joy all the way from the other side of the world
christianhorner: so happy for you two
danielricciardo: thank you so much for having faith in me
christianhorner: i know you'll treat her well and i know she'll treat you well, i'm excited to have you in the family
yourusername: awwww dad you're such a sap
maxverstappen1: do i need to marry into the family to still be invited to horner events?
christianhorner: no you're still invited max
yourusername: dad's golden boys will always have invites so you're safe max - bring seb to the next one too
user40: not all of the golden boys having championships other than daniel
danielricciardo: still ended up with the best prize in the end
yourusername: DANNY oh wow....
danielricciardo: not wrong though, i have no regrets because it all led to you
landonorris: @christianhorner i am painfully single please help
christianhorner: i'm not a miracle worker
yourusername: horners take no prisoners
note: pls enjoy this lil one, i did this as a palate cleanser before i get to p3 of into the arms of another and all the dragging that's about to come
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solitude4chiron · 9 months
Text
Hobie Headcannons cs some of y’all be treating this man like he’s some white goth nga that’s never had black experiences 😭😭 these are js off the top of my head so don’t tweak out… JUH VIBE
He’s most likely Jamaican/British or African/British because he’s from the UK
He has had multiple people try to force him into playing basketball at least once because he’s 6’5
“Man, so you telling me you ain’t never tried going D1?”
“Never even played.”
“NIGGA WHAT?”
Has gotten his hand popped multiple times from touching his hair while getting it done
“How many do you have left?”
“Boy move that damn hand.”
Gives horrible advice then says “but I don’t kno, thats just me”
“She cheated on me bru. Like cheated. Called me ON FACETIME while they was hunchin.”
“Me personally I would find the guy and start a gas leak in their house while his family is sleeping. But ion kno, that’s just me tho.”
Played soccer as a kid with a makeshift paper soccer ball
Was one of those kids who were forced to finish their plate before leaving the dinner table so he would sit at the table till the next day playing with his food
Illegally listens to and downloads most of the music he likes
“Wanna do a Spotify blend?”
“Y’all use that shi?”
“who df are you bro…”
Will side eye you till you burst out laughing if you both see something crazy in public 
Sung chi-chi man religiously as a child before he knew what the song meant (iykyk)
Takes pictures of white people with braids or locs
Hobie: Attachment: 1
disgusting creatures…
Hangs trash bags on his doorknobs around the house
Had entire debates as a child with older people at the cookout on why he should be able to eat ribs instead of hotdogs
“These steaks for the adults, go grab a lil hotdog and a juice.”
“But why? Can’t we both eat and enjoy the same things without you having to dehumanize me and view me only as a child without preferences for food?”
“Boy go get that fuckin hotdog and caprisun get out my face.”
Had his hairline pushed back astronomically far when he was little (Nigerian boy canon event)
On the other hand he probably never had his hair cut as a kid and started free-forming when he was young (I’m conflicted between both)
Constantly had a smart mouth as a kid (he still does), like CONSTANTLY. Once he got his lips snatched and balled into a fist
Would steal, get caught and say is “it cause I’m black?”
“Yo, were you stealing back there?”
“Why bruv? Cause I’m black?”
“Nevermind.”
Touches hot ass food with his bare hands. Like he will flip pancakes with his hands.
Can literally sleep anywhere.. like anywhere. People in his band have pictures of him hunched over on sinks, sleeping on bathroom floors, in bathtubs with the curtains wrapped around him, on the bus. Anywhere you can think of.
He doesn’t spend much money on birthday gifts or gifts in general. He likes to make things by hand even if he has to spend a few weeks
After his shows he loves to meet people in the crowd, even if they freak out. He isn’t really for the idolizing so he doesn’t know how to express his emotions too much on that.
“OH MY GOD HOBIE!?!”
“i aint think i was that special but thanks luv”
• His jacket makes HELLA noise and he doesn’t realize it. Just like if he had beads in his hair.
“imma get bro good this time..”
“Hobie don’t even try to scare me, i hear that big ass jacket thumpin down the hallway.”
• The first time he kissed a girl with lip piercings like his, they got caught on each other. They sat there for almost half and hour trying to untangle each other without hurting each other.
• He’s definitely been called a few different celebrities before, none really looked like him.
“Are you playboi carti?!”
“Bruv.”
over.
“Your that rockstar dude lancey right?”
“bru…”
and over.
“you Opium?”
“I’m starting to feel this is lowkey sterotypical…”
and over again.
• When he’s in the pit at concerts he looks out for the younger people towards the front to make sure they don’t get thrashed around too hard.
“you good young’n?”
“I CANT FEEL MY FACE”
“that’s cool too”
• He only really steals from big corporations, not small family owned places. Just out of respect. Even when they say he can take things for free he still pays, maybe a few dollars over budget.
• He loves collecting trinkets and little things he finds on the streets or backstage. He has multiple spoons, buttons and scrap fabrics laying around
• When he first learned about capitalism he realized it everywhere, like EVERYWHERE. That boy was pissed.
• He loves girls who can beat him tf up, like whoop his ass. Or girls who will cuss him tf out. Sometimes you both will be arguing and he’ll just sit back and let you go off on him.
anyways yawl that’s it lmk if I should drop some more this was fun asl to make ��
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luvjunie · 10 months
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Hey sweetie, I’ve been a real big fan. Can you write some HCS or a fic about the both Miles being twins?
a/n: ABSOLUTELY 10000% YES. i had way too much fun with this oml. and omg thank you you’re so sweet! 😭 btw, let’s just pretend that in this au they don’t have the same name since they’re ‘twins’ lmao
— headcanons. miles and miles as twins
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Twins? Yes. Polar opposites? Definitely.
They both have a completely different sense of style, but one thing they have in common is that they both love Jordan’s. However I feel like miles!42 is a full blown sneakerhead. Has the better collection and often finds miles!1610 wearing his shoes, because somehow 42 always manages to win the snkrs raffles.
“Are those my brand new fuckin’ 4s?” “Uh… no?” “Take my shit off before I tweak out.”
42 keeps his side of the room squeaky clean, gets upset if there’s even a sock that does not belong to him on his side
Absolutely hates the song Sunflower. Cannot stand it, makes him wanna rip his hair out. The minute it came out 1610 played it into the dirt and 42 swears he can still hear it in his dreams till this day
1610 is the more affectionate one (outwardly) while 42 likes to pretend he’s completely devoid of that as if he doesn’t love his brother with everything in him.
“You got exactly three seconds to get off me.” “Just hug me back, damn!”
They’re the kind of brothers to open soundcloud, turn on a random trap beat and see who can go the longest freestyling. They do that thing where guys bring their fist to their mouths and squeal and shove each other out of excitement when they get a good flow going back and forth
42 is definitely the athletic type, plays football and soccer. 1610 is more in tune with his artistic side. Will play sports for fun but doesn’t care for them like that
42 is introverted as hell, doesn’t really like talking to people. 1610 is more of a social butterfly
They’ve never once liked the same girl. Ever. Their taste is drastically different
“Bro, you like a white girl?” “…Yes? What does her race have to do with anything?” “See me personally—“. “Literally nobody fucking asked.”
Used to help each other break out of their cribs when they were babies. Either that or Jeff and Rio would wake up to find that 42 had climbed into 1610’s crib after they’d been put down and slept with him instead. it was impossible to keep them apart from each other, so eventually they just broke down the second crib and let them use the one.
You can tell who is who in their baby pictures. You guessed it, 42 was the oddly solemn one who always wanted to play by himself. They worried about him for a bit. They also had to tickle him as an attempt to get him to smile in pictures, and just their luck, he’s never been ticklish
When they were eight years old, 1610 accidentally broke the wolverine action figure 42 never went anywhere without, and 42 cried about it for three days straight
They definitely ask for each other’s opinions on their outfits
“Do you think this shirt goes with these pants?” “The entire outfit is black… how would it not go together?”
They both obviously love their mother but 42 is the biggest mama’s boy. Always in the kitchen helping her cook, will watch her telenovelas with her and actually keep up with the plot. He’ll willingly follow her to the grocery store or accompany her on her ridiculously long Ross/Tjmaxx sprees because he likes hanging out with her
They terrorize the fuck outta their dad and have been doing so since they entered this world because they think it’s funny. Stupid shit like dying his boxers pink, or looking up a cracked tv screen video on youtube just to watch him nearly have a heart attack thinking they broke it. They used to twin-swap when they were younger to get out of certain things, but it’s 100% impossible to pull off now. They’re way too different, physically and mentally
Uncle Aaron took 42 to get his ears pierced when he was thirteen, something 1610 would never do. Rio basically had an aneurysm when he came home with them in and Jeff was not pleased but Aaron took the blame for it, said it was his idea. 42 made up some bullshit lie about how if he takes them out before they heal completely they’ll get infected. Still has them in till this day
42 is exactly fourteen minutes older and refuses to let 1610 hear the end of it, but 1610 is taller by an inch and weighs a little more.
“I don’t know why you’re talking shit like I’m not older than you. Pipe down lil’ bro.” “Sorry, is someone talking to me right now? Cause I sure as hell can’t see ‘em.” “Nigga it’s ONE INCH”
They’re definitely scrapping over that, and both get smacked upside their heads by Mama Rio for fighting with each other
42 needs the tv and the fan on, SIMULTANEOUSLY when he sleeps or he’ll be up the entire night. 1610 can’t stand it
1610 will try and turn the fan off after his brother’s been asleep for probably two hours, thinking he’s in the clear until he hears—
“Do you value your life? Turn my damn fan back on.”
Deep down 42 is a big ass softie and loves spending time with 1610, he has no idea what he’d do without him. He’s just not the best at expressing it. 1610 teases him about it simply because he enjoys aggravating his other half
“You still got plans with Ganke tonight?” “Nah, his mom’s dragging him to some baby shower.” “Oh, cool, cool… So what movie are we watching?” “Huh?” “Huh—Headass. What movie are we watching tonight?” “Sorry, I’m not understanding. Are you—asking to spend time… with me?” “Damn, I need to say it in Spanish? Matter fact, you probably won’t understand that either. No sabo ass.”
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rougepancake · 1 year
Text
Pervert!
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Ft. Giyuu, Shinobu, Obanai, Uzui, Gyomei, Sanemi, Rengoku, Mitsuri
Warnings: Panty/bra stealing, mentions of masturbation, just sexual themes overall. Afab reader. Minors and ageless blogs dni!
Summary: Just some headcanons! Not proofread!
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GIYU TOMIOKA:
He’s so sly about it. Like the two of you will be hanging out and as soon as you turn around, he’s checking you out.
Though, he does feel a little guilty since you’re one of his closest friends (and his neighbor-), but at the end of the day, it won’t matter because he’ll be moaning your name until he passes out.
He’s the type to feel guilt in the moment and then think back on it later and be like “worth it.”
Giyu tells himself that it’s only natural to feel these types of things. (It is, right??) It kind of makes him feel less bad about it.
He walked in on you changing once and was never the same afterwards, I’m talking about the hardest hard on to ever befall a man ✋☠️
He’s not totally perverse though, because he respects your personal space and doesn’t try to hug or feel you up, but every time he gets off to you it makes him feel worse.
This man is borderline about to just get down on his knees and beg for you to be his because he’s so desperate for you.
However, he does enjoy catching sneak peeks of you when you’re in the shower or while you’re changing.
I mean you’re just right there so how can he not stare?
SHINOBU KOCHO
She sleeps over. All the time. Doesn’t even try to hide that she might be a women enjoyer.
She’ll do little things like “Y/N have you ever kissed a girl to see how it would feel? Why don’t we test it out to see if we’re lesbians hehe~”
You two also go skinny dipping together in the nearby lake frequently, and often times she’ll come up behind you and grope you jokingly (Because girl things amiright?)
This chick openly steals your bras and underwear. AND WEARS THEM. IN FRONT OF YOU.
SHE’S PUTTING SHIT DOWN AND YOU’RE NOT PICKING IT UP. LIKE THIS ISN’T PERVERSION, SHE IS HARD ON FLIRTING
She takes you out to places that are referred to as make out spots and likes to give you little sexual innuendos here and there, but you’re so oblivious it drives her up a wall
She literally offered to “demonstrate” how to properly give someone head AND THEN PROCEEDED TO EAT YOU OUT LIKE HER LIFE DEPENDED ON IT
Recently, however, you’ve noticed that some of your vibrators (the ones that weren’t gifts from Shinobu) have gone missing
Not to worry, they’re in good care as long as they’re with Shinobu, and honestly, so is she.
She is shameless.
IGURO OBANAI
He’s so bbg istg, but he’s a DEVIL when it comes to you
He lives for hugging you and brushing his fingers against your ass, or dropping things on purpose and watching you bend over to pick them up
Speaking of bending over- this man has an entire photo album dedicated to pics of your juicy ass
He is definitely the type to get turned on at the thought of you finding that album; He just loves the riskiness of it all
He takes you out for drinks and gets you a little tipsy so he has a reason to ‘watch over you’ because it’s simply not safe for a girl like you to be alone and wasted
Obanai also has pictures of you sleeping, ones where you can see how tight your shorts are and ones where you can see your perky nipples through the shirt you’re wearing
He really can’t wait until you find those ones.
Once after a night out together, he went through your room while you were asleep on your couch and stole one of your vibrators
That night, he used it until the battery died, shaking from pure overstimulation and excitement. However, he never got tired of moaning out your name desperately
He does feel some form of guilt though, after all, what he’s doing isn’t exactly morally acceptable. And he would have made his move a while back if he wasn’t so scared about ruining your friendship
So for now it’s just useless masturbation, pretending it’s your pretty little lips wrapped around his aching cock
TENGEN UZUI
Has more self control than Shinobu, but barely.
He openly slaps your ass in public, placing his hand in your back pocket as you walk together and glaring down anyone who gives you funky looks.
He’s also a lightweight, so whenever the two of you go out for drinks, it always ends in him flirting (poorly) with you and asking you to join in on a foursome with Hinatsuru, Makio, and Suma
He gets all whiny when you say no and offer for him to spend the night at your place so he doesn’t have to walk home alone, but then again, he’s gonna be at your house for a night 👀
The next thing you know, your favorite pair of panties are missing, along with your most worn bra and even your favorite perfume.
You ask him about it the next time you see him but he denies all accusations. Low and behold, the next time he spends the night, your bra and perfume return, but sadly, you’ll never see those panties ever again.
Whenever he’s wasted and at your place, he begs for you to bathe him to help him sober up, but the last time you did that, he got a hard on when you ran your hands down his broad shoulders.
Your friendship dynamic is the dumb idiot (Uzui) and the tired mom (You), so it’s often that you wind up taking care of him in situations like this.
However, unlike Obanai, he hardly has any photos of you, instead, he prefers to take sneak peeks while you’re showering
He gets even more painfully hard when he catches a glimpse of how the water runs down your gorgeous body, your head turned away and your ass facing him is the best sight he could ever behold.
But he’s not the type to masturbate alone, moaning your name like a slut, he takes it to Makio, Suma, and Hinatsuru, who are far from worried when he ‘accidentally’ moans out your name while they’re pleasuring him.
He’s sworn them to secrecy though, so they’ll never be able tell you how terribly he shakes when he calls out your name.
GYOMEI HIMEJIMA
Out of all of them, he’s definitely the one to feel the worst about it. Like, it goes against his views to be thinking of someone like this and it causes him to feel MASSIVE amounts of guilt.
Since he’s blind, he has to imagine what you look like, which isn’t hard because he had you describe yourself to him when you first met.
He sees you as the most perfect woman to ever grace the planet, he’s 100% smitten. He is legitimately in love with you 🙏🙏
The two of you share an apartment, and due to Gyomei’s strong desire for you, he’s considered moving out.
He hates it, he genuinely thinks it’s wrong to think of you in such a way. But Uzui and Rengoku told him that it’s totally normal for a man to think like that and not to worry about it.
There was one night when he had come back from work later than usual and had assumed you were asleep, only to hear you pleasuring yourself in your bedroom.
He may be blind but he sure as hell ain’t deaf. He’ll never be able rid his mind of how beautiful your voice sounded, of how lewd the noises you made were.
He’ll never stop picturing it either. There’ll be times when he’s at work and he thinks of you like that, immediately having to excuse himself and head for the restroom as soon as possible.
You just get him so unbelievably hard. It drives him mad how he can’t have you, and it creates a deep pit of shame in his stomach when he masturbates to your perfect being.
He can hardly hang out with you like he used to because he starts to think about how it would feel if he had you ride him on the couch, or if he bent you over the kitchen counter and made you scream.
While he dreams of fucking you endlessly, he’d die a happy man if you’d just kiss him.
SANEMI SHINAZUGAWA
You’ve been tutoring his brother recently, and he just can’t get you out of his head.
Like he loves the idea that you’re so willing to help Genya, so maybe you’d be able to help him?
Or better yet, he could help you.
He’s so mean whenever you come over, openly bullying you whenever you’re trying to teach Genya. He hopes that he’ll get to see tears run down your beautiful face one day, but instead, you only return his comments with a smirk
The first time you did this, it caught him off guard entirely. Like you put his ass in his place with ease and it left him hornier than ever.
He dreams of you on your knees, tears in your eyes and he fucks your throat harshly.
Poor Genya can’t catch a break either- He literally caught Sanemi jerking off to a pic of your ass, literally traumatizing the kid.
You take no bs, so you’re used to going over to their place, immediately shutting Sanemi up and watching him scurry of to do lord knows what.
He has videos of you insulting him and often uses them to get off, but he’d never tell you that even if he managed to pull you.
As far as he’s concerned, he’s going to dominate you, not the other way around. (He just wants you to sit on his face.)
KYOJURO RENGOKU
He’s such a gentleman when it comes to you. But like- whenever you grab his arm and drag him around, or bend down in front of him to look at something, he starts thinking some unholy things-
He does have a couple upskirt pics, but only out of curiosity. He wanted to know what it would feel like to do something risky like that (and Uzui kind of talked him into it-)
He loves hanging out with you, but you’re so innocent. He’d make sexual innuendos if he wasn’t afraid of you asking what he meant. The thought of someone ruining your innocence literally makes him break out in a cold sweat.
(Oh but he gets off to the thought of him ruining your innocence all right.)
He often wonders what it would be like to make you moan in pleasure, how easy would it be to get you to cry out in pleasure?
You’re just so sweet though, and it only makes him feel like a horrible friend when you meet up after he’s been masturbating to your cute little face.
Honestly, he couldn’t care less about how you would make him feel, he practically strives to make you happy. He’d eat you out endlessly if you turned around and asked him to.
I mean it. He’d do it no questions asked, right then and there. As long as you’re satisfied, then nothing else matters.
But it does suck when he’s stuck humping a pillow, pretending it’s you. He’d much rather it be the real deal.
MISTURI KANROJI
MY GOD SHE’S LITERALLY JUST LIKE SHINOBU
She uses the fact that you’ve been best friends for a long time as a way to “test things out”
She also occasionally says things like “Do you ever wonder what it would feel like to kiss a girl?” And “jokingly” flirts with you during sleepovers.
There was one time you two were dancing around and you told her you liked her jiggle physics, resulting in her flashing you
She once found where you kept your toys and judged you for how cheap they were. She mocked you for “not knowing how to pleasure yourself” and offered for you to use hers whenever you liked
You did take her up on that offer once, and she used it right after (cleaned of course)
She jokingly gropes you along with you groping her and just messing around with your sexualities in general. (Just normal gal pal things-)
Though, you’ve always taken her flirting as a joke, since you’ve always been flirtatious with your friends.
She loves cuddling with you on your couch when you watch movies, making fun of the characters and eating popcorn together.
She definitely takes a lot of advice from Shinobu, which is where she gets most of her confidence from. If it were anyone else, she would be a blushing mess.
She’s just a fan of physical contact in general. Like hugs and little cheek kisses in general-
My god she loves physical contact so much that like the slightest touch has her shivering a little. Full blown goosebumps.
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colonelarr0w · 11 days
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Across the Universe
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The JJK characters in various alternate universes!
INCLUDED - Satoru Gojo, Suguru Geto, Kento Nanami, Choso Kamo, Toji Fushiguro, Ryomen Sukuna, Hiromi Higuruma, Ino Takuma, Yuuta Okkotsu, Inumaki Toge, Yuuji Itadori, Megumi Fushiguro
! PIECE BEGINS UNDERNEATH THE CUT !
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!TATTOO ARTIST GOJO is such a smug bastard — pearly skin adorned with intricate inked designs that each house their own specialized meaning and sparkling aquamarine eyes that search for you every time that the tiny shop bell dings. If it is you dropping by with a bag of his favorite takeout, he’ll momentarily pause with his client to lovingly greet you. Sure, it may annoy his client, but when it comes down to you, Satoru would allow cities to burn before his attention was ever pulled away from you.  
!TATTOO ARTIST GOJO is absolutely over the moon when you tell him that he can practice designs on you, offering him your arm or your leg with that smile that he can’t help but press a loving kiss to. He’ll make sure that you’re nice and comfortable before starting; he likely offers you a stress ball or something similar before getting to work. And once the piece is finished, he happily accepts the compliments (and kisses) you give him for doing such a beautiful job. (He also will not say no to the thousand Instagram pictures that you order him to take). 
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!BIKER GETO is, quite literally, a doberman wearing a pristine leather jacket. So when you politely text him to pick you up from your girl’s night, he’s already grabbing your helmet and speeding his way from your shared apartment to whatever bar you were at. He tells you to stay put, that he would be there in ten minutes, and that he loved you. The moment that you hear his bike’s engine, you’re moving towards it like a moth to a garden light. He wastes no time in throwing his jacket over your shoulders and wrapping you up in his arms, tucking your face away and pressing comforting kisses against your hairline.  
!BIKER GETO absolutely adores the fact that you want to use his bike as a prop in your Instagram pictures, posing with the vehicle in an outfit that is planned to perfectly match the color of his bike. He doesn’t mind being your photographer at all, praising you and making sure that he gets all of your good angles. He also doesn’t mind helping you pick which ones to post — just as long as you make sure to tag him in them. And as long as you don’t mind him mercilessly attacking any other male in your comments that even dares to compliment you.  
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!COWBOY NANAMI is an absolute sucker for the domestic mornings that you both share; he loves waking up to the smell of freshly brewed coffee, bacon, eggs, and occasionally, sausage. (Though he doesn’t like waking up to you not lying beside him, you making him breakfast is a very easy solution.) He loves coming downstairs to see you humming and dancing around the kitchen, wearing one of his button-ups that dwarfs you completely. He just loves how comfortable and in your element you are — you make him so incredibly soft. 
!COWBOY NANAMI is already picking out a ring after you meet his family for the first time … extended cousins and all. The little ones dance around your legs and compliment you in those adorable Southern accents, his aunts and uncles smile fondly at the way that you present yourself and talk about your relationship with him, and his parents are simply overjoyed at the little jewel that their son decided to bring home. His hand wraps comfortably around your waist — and in that smooth Southern accent that melts you into a puddle — he agrees with his parents’ compliments and sneaks in one of his own. 
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!DAYCARE WORKER CHOSO doesn’t want to think that he likes you at first. After all, you only ever stopped by his room to check in on the little ones, other than that, you remained in the daycare’s main office working as an assistant to the owner. So then why does his heart flutter every time that you make your routine stop to his room? Why do his cheeks feel warm every time that you talk to him? Why does he never want you to leave every time that your checks are finished? Why doesn’t he ever want you to leave? 
!DAYCARE WORKER CHOSO who can’t help but smile a little wider when he watches you interact with the kids in his rooms on your days off; how you never fail to make sure that each and every child is accounted for and is included. And Choso also doesn’t fail to notice how the children light up when he mentions that you’re stopping by — already asking what toys you were going to bring and what games you were going to play. It warms his heart that they love you just as much as (if not more) than he does. 
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!BLUE COLLAR WORKER TOJI who spots you on his lunch break, talking so prettily with your little gaggle of friends. The coffee cup in your hand is decorated with the deep red of your lipstick — it makes him wonder what shade of red it is (and how it would look on his skin). Of course, he can’t talk to you at that moment, but his coworkers make sure that you know that he’s interested in you. And sure, you don’t catch his gaze just yet, but he knows that it’s only a matter of time until you do.  
!BLUE COLLAR WORKER TOJI who all but melts into your arms when he returns home after a particularly long day, savoring the warmth of your arms and burying his face away into your shoulder. Your hands rub up and down the length of his spine, cooing sweet reassurances into his ear and pressing kisses against his temple. He can’t help but smile at the fact that he was being babied, but considering that it was you … who was he to say no?  
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!BODYGUARD SUKUNA who, at first, is very cold and distanced from you — considering that it was your father who hired him and gave him the instruction to keep an eye on your every move and make sure that you were properly kept safe. His answers to you are short and clipped, spoken in a tone that is laced with venom. It only drives you further away from him, which both satisfies and frustrates him. He really does love you from the moment your words are directed at him, but because of his current situation, he pushes those feelings deep down and forces himself to forget about them. 
!BODYGUARD SUKUNA who sneaks into your room in the middle of the night, smirking to himself when he enters to see you patiently waiting for him. You smile softly at him as he enters, crawling into his arms once he makes himself comfortable on your bed. Your head tucks comfortably into the crook of his neck, arms winding around his waist with your legs tangling with his own. He tilts his head to rest his cheek against the side of your head, humming against you — savoring the warmth of your embrace and relishing in the chaste kisses that you plant against his neck.  
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!PROFESSOR HIGURUMA who is the first member of staff to greet you on campus, standing in the doorframe of your empty classroom with his arms crossed over his chest. You pause what you were doing — which was reviewing your lesson plans — and turn to the mysterious man standing outside of your classroom. He greets you politely, clearing his throat after realizing that he might have been staring at you for a moment too long. You return his greeting, and a comfortable conversation flows between the both of you; it’s mostly him inquiring about your lesson plans.  
!PROFESSOR HIGURUMA who enjoys the nights that you both spend grading together. You sit beside him with your legs propped up on his lap, essays piled high on top of your legs while he quietly scans over the last few tests that he had procrastinated. On the coffee table are your unfinished cups of tea, sugar completely dissolved and milk creating a swirl across the top of the tea. The silence is comfortable, occasionally filled by the sound of a turning page or a hum that rumbles up from the back of his throat.  
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!PHOTOGRAPHER INO who adores when you sit beside him to go through the pictures he’s taken on his laptop, offhandedly commenting on how many candid shots he has of you (three folders to be exact). Your chin is resting on the top of his head, eyes trained on the pictures that he tries so hard to click quickly through. His cheeks are burning red, not that you can really see them from your position above him. You want to tease him, but pause at one of the pictures. It’s of you on your latest date, body half-turned to look at him with a bright smile painted onto your face. You think you look terrible, but with the way he gazes at the same picture, you could have hung the moon and stars. 
!PHOTOGRAPHER INO who never misses an opportunity to capture precious moments with his camera. Each date you go on, you can bet that he’s going to be snapping photo after photo to “commemorate the moment.” In reality, you know he’s just gathering pictures of you, but the thought behind it all is so pure-hearted and tooth-rot-tingly sweet. Nine times out of ten, he’ll pick his favorite from the night and frame it, gifting it to you after the night’s over.  
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!ROYALTY YUUTA who can feel his heart momentarily stop in his chest the moment that he sees you standing at the top of the palace steps, dress sparkling in the light provided by the ballroom’s grand chandelier. He watches you carefully as you descend the stairs, waving politely to the other patrons who greet you first. The warmth in his chest transfers to his cheeks as you approach him, greeting him with a gentle peck and a smile that has him weak in the knees. He regains himself quickly however, offering you his hand and asking you to dance — an offer that only a fool would decline.  
!ROYALTY YUUTA who is all smiles and giggles when you sneak out of your room to join him in the palace’s darkened hallways. He tugs at your hand as you both sneak past the various guards that are stationed throughout the palace’s second floor. He turns to you with a finger pressed against his lips, smiling in response to your own as he finally sneaks you into the palace’s grand library, where the both of you remain until sunrise and the king and queen go searching for their son and his betrothed. 
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!COLLEGE STUDENT TOGE who makes it very known that you are his beautiful, stunning girlfriend. Yes, you’re set as his wallpaper (on both his laptop AND his phone). Yes, he references you in almost every conversation that he has. Yes, he’ll hold your hand in the crowded halls and sit next to you during the class that you both just so happen to share. No, he has no shame in hugging you tightly in public. No, he has no shame in kissing you and emphasizing it with a disgusting “mwah!”.  
!COLLEGE STUDENT TOGE who memorizes your coffee order and, before class every day, surprises you with it along with a small pastry. Does it absolutely ruin his bank account? Sure. But is there anything that could ever compare to your smile and the kiss you lay against his cheek in thanks? Absolutely not. He would gladly run his bank account into the ground if it meant making your Monday mornings just a touch brighter. 
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!BARISTA YUUJI who swears up and down that he doesn’t have a favorite regular — besides you that is. He swears that he doesn’t remember your coffee order at all … and yet it’s always waiting on the pickup side of the register when you walk in. He swears that he has no idea who you are … and yet he perks up like an excited dog when the coffee shop’s bell dings at 9:15 every morning. No, he definitely doesn’t have a favorite regular. 
!BARISTA YUUJI who adores when you accompany him during his closing shifts, waiting patiently at your designated table and watching as he finishes up any nightly tasks. He jingles the keys to the shop in your face when he’s finished, already asking you about your day and peppering your face with a flurry of kisses that you can never escape. His fingers lace into yours as he locks up, both of you already setting off down the sidewalk back to your apartment complex.  
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!SHELTER VOLUNTEER MEGUMI who promises you before his weekly visit that he won’t bring home another dog — knowing that your apartment was barely large enough to house the two Shepherd pups that he had brought home. He kisses the top of your head and promptly leaves before you’re able to get another word in … and deep down you know that he’s going to return with something. He can’t help it, and when he holds the puppy up to your eyes, you quickly understand why. 
!SHELTER VOLUNTEER MEGUMI who all but melts when he comes home after a long day to see you and your (now) three dogs all curled up on the couch together. The two black-and-white shepherds are laying protectively in front of the couch while the newest little addition lays comfortably across your chest, little puppy snores rumbling in its nose. He has to resist the urge to take an unhealthy amount of pictures of you and the dogs — instead, he decides to silently lower himself to sit down and watch you. He reaches a finger out, stroking it over your cheek and smiling to himself … God, he was so absolutely in love with you.  
584 notes · View notes
norrizzandpia · 8 months
Text
Used (LN4)
Summary: A bet can do more harm than good.
Warnings: i dont think ive ever wrote something this angsty, its very sad so be warned, lando is a back stabbing bitch but hes stupidly in love, literally stupidly, insecurities, loss of virginity, major betrayal, sad ending but there will be a part 2 bc as we all know i cant do sad endings
Note: im very sorry for this one
Word count: somewhere in the 4k’s
When Oscar got into F1, Y/n promised herself she wouldn’t follow her brother around the paddock like a lost puppy. With cameras all around and prying eyes, she wanted to come across as independent and strong rather than pathetic and small. For a while, that translated, but it got lonely after a few months. Missing her brother as he was busy doing interviews or creating connections, and losing her parents in the mass of people, she always found herself alone. That was until Lando fully came into the picture. He hadn’t wanted to overstep boundaries with his teammate by befriending his sister, but the boy couldn’t resist when he continued to catch glimpses of her struggle to fit in. She was too young to hang out with any of the racers’ girlfriends, yet too old to hang out with the children of powerful people. She was only 19, still figuring out what life was, why she was here, and what she was meant to do. So, overcoming his own anxieties, Lando approached the girl on a rainy Sunday when the race had been postponed because of the wet weather.
“Can I sit here?” He had said, smiling lightly at her as her head slowly moved up to make eye contact with the popular driver.
She had moved over on the bench, nodding quickly as if she was afraid any time in which he had to wait would set him off.
At first, things were awkward with Lando not knowing anything about her and Y/n being too shy to form any words in front of the boy she thought was cute. Nonetheless, after 20 minutes, words were spoken, and conversing became second nature.
Gradually, Lando felt Y/n warm up to him as she realized the driver was someone she found solace in.
Her first friend in Formula One.
Everyone in the paddock began to take note of the budding friendship quickly evolving between the sister and the driver. While people were happy to see a new connection growing, Oscar was weary. It was no secret Lando had a track record of sleeping around, pretending to be close to women for only one night in order to get what he wanted. The women in question always understood the pattern and never found offense or distaste with it, but Y/n wasn’t that mature, Oscar knew. His sister was still naive and her lack of attention toward media outlets played into her lack of luck as she didn’t realize Lando could be around for all the wrong reasons. Oscar did, though, and he made it incredibly clear to the British boy that any impure advances on his sister were not, and never would be, welcomed.
“You pull any weird shit and I’ll have your head.” He said sternly to Lando in a tone that no one had ever heard come out of the Australian before.
“I’m not going to, Oscar. I’m sorry if this makes you uncomfortable, but we’ve realized we just have so much in common. There’s nothing else behind it, I promise. I just like your sister’s company. That’s it.” He reassured.
And, for a while, that was true. Lando saw nothing else behind their friendship, however, that soon began to change. He noted the way he became so comfortable being touchy with her or giving her impromptu compliments about how pretty she looked that day. Being experienced in that realm of life, Lando also noted the way her cheeks blushed ever so slightly under his eye, and he couldn’t ignore the way his insides twisted at her subtle happiness over him.
They danced around each other and their feelings for some time until a drunken night changed everything. Lando had invited his friends from DJing over, one of those people being Martin Garrix. The men had laid themselves out on Lando’s luxurious couch with beers in hand, chugging away as they gossiped like 13-year-old girls.
The conversation came easily with these people as Martin interrupted and changed the topic to something a bit more interesting, “Lando, I gotta ask. What’s going on with you and Oscar’s sister?”
At this point in their relationship, Lando was still in the stage of denying any deeper feelings for her, “Nothing? What do you mean?”
Martin shook his head as the boys around him knowingly eyed each other, “Come on, you two are definitely sleeping together.”
“No, we aren’t.” He said immediately, not understanding why he had become so invested in protecting Y/n’s image.
Martin’s eyebrows furrowed, “So, you two aren’t sneaking around behind the brother’s back?”
“No,” Lando said firmly, but his defiance on the subject proved to worsen his situation as Martin set his beer down and looked at him with a mischievous look.
“Then, I have a proposition for you.” His arms rested on his knees as he leaned forward.
“What?” Lando mirrored his stance.
“Obviously, you know I have that really big gig next year at The Cabin in New York.” Lando nodded, “Well, if you can get Y/n to fall in love with you, maybe even sleep with her, I don’t know, then you can play it. Play the set at The Cabin.” Martin’s idea made Lando’s eyes bulge out of his head and his body leap from the couch.
The alcohol in his system proved to do its job by impairing his judgment as he didn’t ask questions or try to understand why Martin would get off on playing with someone in that way. All the boy did was scream his agreeance and then excitement for playing at The Cabin in New York.
“YOU ASKED MY SISTER OUT!?” Oscar had screamed in fury at Lando 2 days later.
Putting his hands up, Lando tried to talk down an aggravated teammate, “Listen, Oscar. Listen,” He pleaded, “I didn’t see it coming, really. But, I…” The words felt sour in his mouth as the guilt for what he was about to embark on set in, “I didn’t expect to fall for her, okay? I just did and I hope you’ll trust me enough that I’m not going to play her like I do the others. I wouldn’t hurt you like that and I especially wouldn’t hurt her like that.”
His words seemed to calm the blonde boy as he looked Lando in the eye, trying to decipher if he was being truthful. And, even though he wasn’t, Oscar found Lando’s spewed sentences to be genuine.
“Fine, but, I’m serious, Lando,” Oscar shoved a finger into Lando’s chest, “if you pull anything, I won’t hesitate to find crazy dirt on you and blackmail McLaren into firing you. Trust me, I’m smart enough to ruin your whole career.”
His threats went in Lando’s right ear and out the other because he found his British accent flooding the room they stood in as he said, “I promise, nothing will happen.”
“Is there any specific you want for tonight, my love?” Lando whispered against her skin as they lay in his bed, tangled together after a busy morning of meetings and conversations discussing their announcement of their relationship to the public with McLaren’s PR teams.
She breathed against the crook of his neck as she toyed with his shirt, “No, just excited to go out with you.”
He chuckled as he breathed the scent of her shampoo in, “Me too, baby.”
After nearly 3 months, the couple had fallen easily into the norms of a romantic relationship. Having not yet slept together or fully opened up and shown the other dark parts of themselves, they had a long way to go, but, at that moment, the two were content.
Content with having casual dates, hidden under baseball caps and sunglasses to keep from someone seeing them and outing their newfound connection. Content with the star gazing they had scheduled a few weeks back for that night, fulfilling something Y/n had mentioned she wanted to try.
They found themselves lost in the sky, weeds surrounding them as they lay side by side on a thin blanket to separate them from the rough grass beneath. In a quiet moment with Y/n’s fingers pointing out constellations to him, Lando sunk into himself.
His past few months with her had proven to be a lot more interesting than he had expected. Pretending to be in love with her started to feel less like a forced feeling and more like something he had been destined to feel for her and her only his whole life. The guilt ate away at him, but the love that was slowly consuming him for her trumped it every time.
“Lan? You still here?” Her sweet voice cut through his thoughts, making his head turn to meet her eyes.
He smiled at her, “Yeah, sorry, just lost track of my thoughts, I think.”
Her hand trailed up and down his stomach, “You okay?”
“Mhm, just don’t want to leave.” He nodded, looking at her so she could understand that he didn’t just want to leave this moment, he didn’t want to leave her.
She cracked a small smile, “Oh, me neither.”
A beat of silence went by before she sat up and turned to look down at him, “When did you realize you wanted more than just a friendship between us?”
This question was something he was anticipating and absolutely dreaded because, if he were to tell the truth, he would have to tell her she was a bet with his friends and that was the only reason he had been pushed to confront his underlying feelings for her. Although, wanting his gig, Lando tried to tell a white lie.
“I don’t really know when it happened. I just know that one day I really liked talking with you and the next I just liked you.” Simple and sweet, he thought. That was the trick to getting away with this.
Her blush complicated things and the butterflies in his stomach over her smile laid out the strong counterargument to his mind.
“Hm.” She said as she lowered herself back to the ground.
Lando’s curiosity took over as he asked what she meant by the ominous sound.
“Just that, I didn’t expect you to like me. I mean, you’re past is a lot of picture-perfect models and well-rounded, intellectual, impressive women. Not a 19-year-old kid whose major is undecided as she enters into her second year of college.” Her words struck a deep cord within his chest that he couldn’t not play.
“Is that all you think you are?” He was complicating the situation further, he understood that, but to think Y/n didn’t understand how amazing she was was something he couldn’t ignore.
She shrugged her shoulders, “Well, Lan, what else would I be?”
He was internally shocked at her obliviousness to her own perfection, “‘What else would I be?’ Y/n, what? You’re not just some lost college kid. You’re Oscar’s best friend and the person I would call first no matter what the situation. You’re so much to everyone around you. How can you not see that?”
Her voice came out trembly as she stared at the stars, “It’s hard when your brother’s constantly outshined you your whole life. My parents never realized they had another kid when I was growing up. It was all about Oscar and his races, his success. I never lived up to anything to actually make them notice me.”
His heart broke for the hurt little girl she was clearly entrusting him with, “Y/n, look at me.” His hands wrapped around her jaw to turn her head to the side, their eyes meeting in an intense stare, “Oscar could never outshine you and the fact that you’ve gone your whole life thinking anyone, let alone your brother, has the ability to take other’s attention from you is preposterous. You are the first thing that catches people’s eye when they walk into a room. You’re intoxicating with the way you carry yourself. You’re not just a confused child, you’re you. You are your best friend’s safe space, Oscar’s go-to person to brag about, you’re my favorite person, and, even though you might not think so, your parent’s pride and joy. You’re so many things, darling. Just because you aren’t an F1 driver doesn’t mean you don’t mean something. If it means anything, to me, you mean everything.”
His forehead rested against hers as he whispered the words to her, her eyes closed against his skin as she took in what she had longed to hear since she was 7. Lando’s thumbs rested against her cheeks, collecting the soft tears as they fell from her eyes.
“Sorry,” She whispered as she tried to back away from his hold, apologizing for the wetness that was pooling around his fingers.
However, Lando was quick to pull her back in, “No, don’t apologize. Letting me in isn’t something I’m afraid of, Y/n. It’s something I’m grateful to experience.”
She nodded, at a loss for words as she reveled in his gentleness. His hold on her tightened as he pushed her against his chest, whispering words into her ear.
Words that spoke truths he believed deep within himself and words that complexified the bet he had made.
“So, tell us what’s going on with you and the hotshot driver!” Y/n’s best friend, Paige, exclaimed at breakfast weeks after Lando and she had gone public.
Y/n rolled her eyes playfully, “Nothing! We’re just together. It’s not that serious.”
Paige reeled back in her seat, sending her a questionable look, “Really? ‘Not that serious’? Are you kidding me? He took your virginity!”
“Shh!!! Shh!!” Y/n jabbed a finger in her friend's face in response to the loud volume accompanied by the exposition of her situation.
“Sorry!” Paige squeaked, looking around to make sure no one had heard her, thankfully no one had. She continued, “Does he know?”
“That it was my first time? Yeah.” Y/n informed as Paige smiled triumphantly at the girl across from her.
“So, was he sweet? Did you like it?” Paige fired off the questions.
Y/n blushed, being taken back to the night before where Lando had assured her he would be gentle.
He had.
“Yes, he was very sweet. We got back from the date and decided to watch a movie. During it, we started kissing and then, you know, one thing led to another, and…”
“You told him.” Paige finished her sentence.
Y/n waved her head slowly to the left and right, “Well, it started getting intense, so I just let him know. I tried to be pretty nonchalant about it, come off like it wasn’t that big of a deal, but the moment he heard it, he was telling me how much he cared about it.”
Paige’s eyebrows furrowed, “What do you mean?”
“He just wanted to talk about it, wanted to make sure I wasn’t rushing into anything and that I actually wanted to do this with him. He told me how he didn’t want to screw anything up and how he really wanted it to go well for me, so if I needed him to change anything, I could just let him know. He was really big on communication through the whole thing and, honestly, it made things so much easier. And, then, after we were done, I got up to leave, but he acted like I had just said he wouldn’t ever win a world championship, and then insisted on me staying. Paige, he was so perfect.”
The two girls giggled together as they dug into their food, “So, you’ve let him in completely then?”
Y/n giggled, not having a clue of what was to come, “After he saw me completely naked and I told him about my deepest insecurities? Yeah, I have. I just hope this doesn’t backfire in my face.”
Lando was Y/n’s first love. There was no doubt about that. So, surprising him at the Silverstone Grand Prix sounded like a good idea. However, as she and Oscar stood outside his Driver’s Room door, accidentally eavesdropping on his conversation with Martin, the world proved to her that being there entirely was a horrible idea.
“Mate, I think it's gone too far. I want to back out of the bet.” Lando’s muffled voice sounded through the wall as Oscar and Y/n glanced at each other, matching confusion on their faces.
“No way, Lando. We made a deal. I don’t want to do this gig, I’ve done it so many times before it’s boring now, but for someone like you who has never done it, it’ll be fun.” Martin pleaded.
Y/n could practically hear Lando shake his head, “No, Martin. We should’ve never made it in the first place. I don’t want to play at The Cabin. Dating her for a bet is so cruel. I should’ve stopped it so long ago. I should’ve told you ‘no’ immediately.”
She didn’t even really comprehend what his words meant for a few minutes. She just stood there, eyes fixed on the door, trying desperately to figure out a way to explain away what he had just revealed.
Oscar’s hand gripped her arm as he watched her realize Lando’s true intent. His lip trembled, trying to keep the tears at bay, as his little sister broke in front of him. Her mouth opened and closed before her eyes watered and her gaze was shooting around the hallway in an attempt to find her brother. The fact that he was right in front of her didn’t translate in her brain, which had been in immediate turmoil once it dawned on her.
“Y/n, I’m right here.” He repeated to her as he slowly coaxed her into his embrace. Blind rage threatened to fill Oscar’s body, wanting nothing more than to storm into Lando’s room and rip him to shreds, but, as his sister quietly sobbed in his arms, he knew she needed him more than his fist needed to collide with Lando’s face.
Fortunately, his room wasn’t too far, so they weren’t seen by anyone as they made their way. The tears never ceased, only intensifying once they found themselves tucked away in the privateness of his own four walls.
“I was a bet?” Her choked sobs fought to silence her, but she continued to repeat the words as if it could cause her confusion to be fixed.
She clutched onto her older brother as she willed herself to go back in time and never step foot in an F1 paddock. Her mind raced as it tried to erase their time together and the love she had for him, the love she still had for him.
Hours after crying so much the tears dried up, Y/n found herself numb as she poured steeped the tea bag into the steaming hot water. No longer caring if she ran into him, she stood in the middle of McLaren’s hospitality, still trying to understand when she went wrong.
When she started loving him in the way that she did now. Even after finding out it was fake, his love for her was fake, she can’t stop the way her heart still beats for him.
The way, even after he had hurt her as badly as he did, she still searched for him in the crowd.
Oscar was off doing an interview, something he begrudgingly went off as he wanted to sit with his sister longer, as she made her walk back to his resting room.
Her attention was on the warm temperature that surrounded her face when she sipped her drink, she didn’t see the man of the hour turn the corner nor did she see the way his gaze landed on her or the way he began running toward her, confused as to why she was here.
“Y/n? Love, what are you doing here? I thought you had a test you couldn’t skip?” His voice forced feelings into her body whether she liked it or not. However, this time instead of feeling suffocating sadness, she felt pure, bewildered rage.
Turning around, she met his eyes, “What set do you think you’ll play at The Cabin?”
Lando’s eyebrows furrowed together at her question as well as the look on her face he wasn’t accustomed to.
“What?” He asked simply, not believing she could know.
She took a step closer to him, letting the betrayal take control, “When you play in New York at The Cabin, Lan,” Her smile was sickly and incredibly fake, “What are you going to play? I was thinking that one remix you have that you said makes the crowd go wild. I mean, it has to be big seeing as you went through so much trouble to get the spot. Ya know, dating me for a bet and all.” She took his silence and blank stare as an invitation to keep going, “Inspiring, really, Lando. The amount of dedication you must have when it comes to being a DJ that you would exploit someone else’s vulnerability, allow them to tell you all the internalized bullshit they’ve struggled with their whole lives, and, then!” She exclaimed, her voice translating ferocity rather than joy, “And then!” She dryly laughed, “Take their virginity just to spice things up! Wow, Lando, you have a certain level of determinedness I think society doesn’t address enough.”
His hand reached out for hers, but she quickly pulled her own back to her chest, looking at him in disgust, “Y/n, let me explain.”
Not wanting to look at his face any longer, she turned around, hightailing it to Oscar’s as she heard Lando follow her.
“Y/n, I’m serious. Please, there’s an explanation. Listen to me, baby. Please, I’m begging you.” He pleaded with her as he continued to reach for her, but he was always just a little too late.
“Y/n, I never meant for it to go this far. I though-” He tried, but Y/n was whirling around and jabbing a finger into his chest as she interrupted him with a fiery gaze.
“You never meant for it to go this far? Really? That’s the best you can give me!? I was lonely and you took advantage of that! You didn’t mean for it to go this far? Are you kidding me? You should’ve never even looked in my direction. You’re sick in the head for knowingly taking my virginity! For taking what was supposed to be something special and eventful, something meaningful, and twisting it into some stepping stone all a part of your grand plan to gain a bigger audience for your hobby! That was mine. That moment, when I allowed a guy I trusted and loved to take something so sacred, was supposed to be something I looked fondly back on. That part of my life, my girlhood, you exploited for your own personal gain. Where the hell do you get off? I trusted you. I told you things about my life, about myself, I’ve never told anyone before, and, what? The whole time it was a bet to you? A task you had to complete in order to turn some tables at a club in a dirty city?”
He stared at her, trying to peer into her soul and tell her all the things he didn’t know how to say, but, with all the hurt he had presented her with, she didn’t see him. She didn’t see the anguish he was going through over his actions catching up with him and abusing someone who was completely innocent. She didn’t see how hard he was trying to tell her he loved her and he always had.
“Y/n, it was never that to me. Please, you have to understand. You’ve always been so much more to me. Y/n, I love you-” Once again, she was shutting him up.
“That’s not love, Lando, and it’s pathetic you think it is.”
With that, she stepped into her brother’s room, closed the door, and locked it. Effectively, shutting Lando out.
For good or for the time being, he didn’t know.
2K notes · View notes
dumbseee · 10 months
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noticed pt2.
f1 au/fic: having her celebrity crush as her boyfriend was something y/n didn’t expect to happen, which she also didn’t expect is the hate she would’ve receive.
lando norris x reader.
fc: bruna marquezine.
part 1.
note: i wasn’t planning on doing a part 2 but you guys asked so you shall receive :) (i wrote that very quickly so it’s not that good i’m so sorry)
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liked by landonorris, francisca.cgomes, pierregasly and 230 997 others.
y/n: lil photo dump because i’m living my best life with my loved ones <3 have a nice week guys!
_
landonorris: pretty girl <3
liked by y/n.
francisca.cgomes: had the best time with you baby
yourfriend: you’re shining girl
fan1: who tf is y/n? why is she even so popular?
fan2. @.fan1 bc she’s fucking lando and people have an obsession with wags
fan3: ew such a whore
fan4: why is she always half naked?
fan5: i’d be so embarrassed if i were lando bc wtf is she wearing?
fan6: lando RUN
fan7: y’all see a pretty woman dating y’all favourite driver and decide to hate her for no reason
fan8: y/n get behind me
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you couldn’t stop crying, you didn’t know what you did to deserve that. you deactivated all your socials so you won’t receive any messages from people with bad intentions, and turned off your phone that kept buzzing with notifications from friends and family. you tried to call lando, to make sure he knew that this was bullshit and that never would you even think about cheating on him. you did go to neymar’s party but only as your friend’s plus one. you talked with the footballer but for literally five minutes. the girl in the picture wasn’t you and you prayed that lando knew that. but he wasn’t answering his phone and that actually made you panic even more. your whole body was shaking, you were having a panic attack and you didn’t know how to calm it since you never had one before.
this situation was horrible for you, you didn’t even know how to fix it, of course it was all a lie but would the internet believe you? deactivating all your socials could be seen as suspicious by fans. they hated you anyway so whatever excuse you’d come up with, they’d never believe you. would lando even believe you? that thought made you sob even more, you struggled to breath and fell on the ground, resting your head on your knees. you could hear your heart beats going way too fast and you prayed for someone to help you because you were going to die from that damn panic attack.
"y/n! hey y/n!" you heard a voice, but it was faint, as if someone was calling you from very far away. "y/n, please baby! breath!" lando. it was lando’s voice. you opened your eyes and saw your boyfriend, shaking you to make you come to your senses, his eyes were glossy and he looked worried, when he saw you open your eyes and look at him he sighed softly and smiled at you. "welcome back, baby." he kissed your forehead before putting your hand on his own heart while he did the same to yours. "breath for me. we’ll do it together, okay?" you nodded slowly and started to follow his breaths. "one. two. three. yeah, you’re doing amazing my love." he smiled again and rested his forehead against yours, closing his eyes. "you scared the shit out of me." he whispered, still against your forehead. "i am so sorry, lando, i swear it’s not-" he shushed you and wrapped his arms around you, giving you a long and soothing embrace. you felt silent tears roll down your cheeks.
"don’t say a word, i already know." he says, he grabbed your face in his hands and kissed your tears away. "those pretty eyes can’t be drowning in tears, love." he added. "i trust you y/n. i love and trust you with my life, i know that you’d never do such a thing." he finished by kissing your lips. "then why did you ignore my calls?" you asked. "because i needed to get back home asap to confort you." he smiled and you swore that your heart exploded.
that was the moment where you realised how deeply in love you were with lando. he was so perfect with you, always taking care of you and putting you first. you sometimes wondered if you deserved that kind of love.
"we’re going to watch your favorite tv show, order some food and take a bath later. today is y/n self care day. and don’t think about that rumour, i’m going to take care of that." he kissed the top of your head and helped you get up from the ground.
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liked by y/n, carlossainz55, danielricciardo and 1 790 007 others.
landonorris: i’m going to say this once and for all: y/n l/n is the sweetest most loving and respectful person i’ve ever met in my entire existence. she’s the light that keeps shining during my darkest days, she’s the presence i crave after a long day away from her. y/n has been the victim of disgusting rumours and death threats, i’ll be taking action against every single ones of you who even just commented one single bad emoji under her posts, i’ll come for you. you made her cry, i think it’s fair enough that i make you pay back for every single tear that she shed because of people like you.
_
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taintedcigs · 1 year
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✦ POLAROIDS | perv!eddie x reader ✦
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part II is HERE!
wc: 2k+
pairing: perv!eddie munson x (kinda perv)!reader
warnings: 18+ !!smut, smut smut!!, MINORS DNI!! absolutely no minors!! male m*sturbation, or*l (male receiving), PERV!EDDIE, praising!! panty-stealing perv!eddie. slight dubcon, this is kinda dark so if this kind of stuff bothers u DO NOT READ!! i am not responsible for the media you decide to consume!!! JUST OVERALL FILTH MINORS DNI!!!
summary: eddie knows it's wrong to go through your drawers and steal your panties, but he can't help it, especially when he has a great idea on what exactly to do with them.
authors note: okay I CAVED IM SORRY BUT i cannot stop thinking about perv!eddie, and more specifically i cannot stop thinking about perv!eddie who's obsessed with stealing your panties... this is proofread but i only read it once so pls ignore any mistakes !! enjoy this filth that im ashamed to post for being down this bad for EDDIE!! ALSO YES THOSE ARE TAYLOR SWIFT'S 1989 POLAROIDS I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT POLAROIDS 1989 COMES INTO MY MIND YES I HAVE ISSUES AND IM OBSESSED W TAYLOR SWIFT YES I EXIST!!!
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eddie is a pervert.
or at least he feels like a pervert.
he's not proud of it, but he literally can't help himself when you're always around him.
it started out innocent, he would catch a glimpse of you in the hallways, enjoying the way your pretty giggles were infectious, making him smile immediately.
but then it turned into something else, almost like an infatuation, he was so addicted to being around you that he couldn't help it.
from little things to seeing your skirt flip up, to watching your tits bounce up and down with every curb eddie hit "accidentally", to the way he enjoyed you sitting on his lap while the two of you watched a movie, your ass shifting against his cock that made him hard immediately, to the way you made his mind fuzzy when you licked your ice cream, giggling as you swiped your finger, extending your finger so that eddie could also taste it.
it was as if you were teasing him, and it was driving him crazy, everything you did, eddie was obsessed with.
it was fine up until the point he started coming over to your house. it was as if something had taken over him, the first time he saw your room is when he lost it. it was filled with all of the posters of the bands he liked, you had shown it off to him like it was nothing, telling him that you liked listening to whatever he liked.
eddie knew then and there that he needed you in his life. forever.
when you left the room he couldn't help but go through your things, a huge smile plastered on his face as he saw the picture of the two of you, tucked to the side of your mirror.
then he started going through your drawers, he knew it was wrong, and he knew you could catch him at any minute, but it gave him this rush that he couldn't help but be excited about.
his eyes almost rolled into the back of his head when he saw your lingerie, the pink lacy set you had was enough to give him a heart attack.
and he couldn't help but take one, just one he promised himself, he knew it was a lie, he knew he would come back for more, but he stuffed it into the back of his jean pockets, knowing that he would be jerking off to them while thinking of you.
and when stealing your panties became a regular thing eddie knew he was fucked. he would sneak into your room when you were not around, stealing those cute little pink lacy panties you had a thousand of that you always wore with your tight little skirts.
he would jerk off with them, imagining your tight cunt as he fucked the material, finishing off inside as he released his warm load in the soft material. imagining how good it would be to see you wearing them, your cunt covered in his jizz, the thought of that alone would make him go feral.
and soon he would get so comfortable stealing them, cleaning them, and returning them that he would notice how careless you were with them.
he had stolen from you countless times before, and not once had you noticed, you kept going lingerie shopping with him because of how you always lost your panties, it was a win-win situation for him.
this caused him get a bit more comfortable, and soon enough, he was now in your room when you told him you'd be taking a quick shower, he was hurrying to go through your drawers, and he smirked at the sight of the cute little heart-shaped panties, remembering these panties from the day you wore that tight little black dress, showing off your curves and ass every time you bent over to pick up something eddie 'accidentally' dropped.
as he gets on your bed to engulf himself in your scent fully, polaroids on your bedside catch his eye, he slowly reaches for them, and his eyes bulge at the countless pictures of you in a bikini, they were all taken by nancy when you, nancy and robin went to that girl's spring break, leaving him behind.
his sadness at the time of you leaving is washed all away when he sees those pictures. each picture sends more blood rushing to his already aching cock, he curses and groans as he quickly unbuckles his belt, his cock stirs and hardens in his boxers.
and he's quick to release this tension as his angry hard cock springs free out of his boxers, plopping against his stomach.
he stretches the panties against the girth of his cock, and then wraps the panties around his pink tip, pre-cum beading out of his slit, while his other hand is holding the polaroids, examining every part of it.
the polaroid is enough to put a clear image in his mind, the first picture is you smiling, your tits are bursting out of your bikini and the only thing he can picture is how good they would look when you were stuffed with his cock, begging and crying for more beneath him, the way your breasts would bounce with every thrust is enough to cause a low groan out of him.
he's slow to stroke himself with the soft material, a part of him wants you to catch him doing this, a part of him wants you to see how crazy he is for you, he wants to see your shocked face as he fucks your precious panties, and a part of him wants you to help him out, he doesn't want this to be over so soon.
he goes over to the next picture, this time you're laying down on your stomach, your whole frame is in the picture and your ass is sticking out from your thong-like bikini, you face the camera as your gaze is dark, so filled with lust that he groans again, tugging at his cock harder with your panties as he imagines spanking your ass, leaving handprints all over your cheeks.
his fantasies intensify now as he imagines your soft hands over his rough calloused ones, giggling as you stroke him and kiss his angry pink tip. 'mmm, you're s'big, eds.' he imagines you giggling.
he gets to the next polaroid, and the sight alone is enough to make him spill his load all over the picture.
you are looking up innocently as you stick your tongue out, he has no idea why nancy would have this sexy photoshoot with you but he's not complaining as he forcefully tugs your panties along with his cock, his pumps getting intense.
'what d'you want me to do, eds?' he imagines you batting your eyelashes at him as you are standing between his shaking thighs,
'd'you need me to suck you off?' he imagines you asking with your doe eyes.
'yes, doll, need your pretty little lips wrapped around my cock.' he pictures your pretty mouth wrapped around his cock, taking all of him.
'f-f-fuck, just like that, pretty girl.' he groans, praising the imaginary you.
'y'like that eds, y'like me sucking you off?' he winces at your words, his hand began to fist his cock harder, beads of sweat dripping on his forehead from the way he imagined you, he needed to cum.
's'big eds, it's s'fuckin' big, hmmm' you purr, even in his fantasy, eddie is needy.
'need you so bad, princess.' his voice is strained from his groans, he's fucking himself so hard against your panties that the material is straining him, giving him a mix of pleasure and pain.
he imagines holding your hair in a tight grip, pushing your head further as you gag around his cock, all teary-eyed as you look up at him, the image of your saliva mixing with your salty tears causing a strained moan out of him.
'y'gonna cum for me eds? paint my throat with your cum?' the way he imagines you with your doe-eyes and your filthy words is too much for him, his knuckles are white as they abuse his poor aching cock.
'yes baby, need to fill your throat with my cum.' he whimpers now, he feels pathetic, so pathetic, fucking your panties as he's ready to cum all over your polaroid pictures, just so he could show them to you, tell you how fucking pretty you look covered in his jizz.
he imagines you hollowing out your cheeks, as you take all of him with your pretty little lips, his huge cock hitting the back of your throat, causing you to gag around him, and your hands stroking whatever's left of him, massaging his balls, and eddie's eyes roll in the back of his head.
just then, he hears the shower noise turn off, and he knows he doesn't have much time left.
'need your cum, eds. need to taste you.' the imagination is more than enough to get him closer, his grip on your panties is so tight that he can feel his cock ache, he needs to release himself, and he needs to do it now.
'gonna cum, baby, s'good, princess, doing s'good.' his thighs tremble, as eddie's hand sped up now, he bucked his hips forward in a rough movement as the image of you beneath his thighs taking him all was etched into his mind.
'f-f-fuck, gonna fill that sweet mouth of yours.' he groans, and he tugs on his cock faster and faster, his thumb swiping over the tip messily as he releases his warm load into the hem of your panties, animalistic groans leaving his lips.
'take it all, baby, shit.' he murmurs as his cock twitches in your panties, his sticky load covering all the soft material.
the sound of the bathroom door opening causes panic out of him before he can even ride out his climax he places the polaroids on the bedside and then he places the panties next to your clean clothes, getting dressed as he attempts to look nonchalant, sitting on your bed.
'sorry i took so long.' you giggle as you enter, and eddie just hums, his mind still hazy from what happened and the blood is rushing to his cock again as you stand in front of him with a tiny towel wrapped around your body.
your legs are shining and the towel is so tight that he can see the curve of your ass, and your breasts are so pushed together that eddie wants to curse himself for being this perverted about you.
he straightens himself, trying to appear as normal as you walk over to him.
'can you turn around, i'm gonna change.' you murmur, heat rising to your cheeks.
he awkwardly nods as he places himself in front of the mirror, a smirk appearing on his face as he watches you putting on the panties that was covered with his warm cum.
he expects you to have a shocked face, turn around and accuse him, or he expects you to believe that you got so aroused that you immediately soaked your panties, and he thinks he could help you with that.
but what he doesn't expect is to hear you whimper, and his head shots up at the sound, 'mhmm' you almost groan and the blood is quick to rush to eddie's cock again, he's hard as a rock.
'it's not warm enough.' you hum, as eddie turns to face you, his brows knit together in confusion.
'w-what?' he stutters almost, you shrug.
'next time i'd prefer if you actually came in me.' you say nonchalantly, and eddie's jaw almost opens at your words.
his mind is about to explode, he's stuttering, he wants to apologize, but at the same time he wants to know how you knew, he's speechless.
'i- i'm sorry.' he stutters as he attempts to get closer to you, a smirk forming on your face.
'how did you know?' he asks in a timid voice, he can't help but admit how much this excites him.
'oh, eds, who do you think put those polaroids in there?'
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final author's note: OKAY IM SORRY ITS A BIT CHEESY BUT PLSPLPLS PLEASEE LMK IF YOU WANT A PT.2, my asks are open! request away <3 ily all hope yall enjoyed this filth omg mwah xo, em <3
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priniya · 11 months
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hi lovie! could you do some percy (or leo, maybe both?? i love them sm hahaha) headcanons abt dating an aphrodite’s child?
I COMPLETELY LOVE THE IDEA OMG??? tysm for requesting anon <3
sorry if it’s not like you imagined it😭 it’s my first time with headcanons like that
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dating percy as an aphrodite’s child would include . . .
okay you all gotta admit that if percy could, he would brag about his partner being so beautiful that no one can compete with them
i feel like he’s at the university and some guys are talking and he just waits for a chance to show you off and be like “they are literally a goddess’ child”
BUT IN FRONT OF YOU??? he’d get so awkward even if you were dating for so long
also i’m 100% sure annabeth would sometimes point it out and laugh at the way he turns into a hot mess around you
but tbh you thought it was cute, cus let’s be real. it’s percy jackson, if you weren’t a hot mess around him as well, who would you be?
if you two are sent on a mission together, he rarely thinks about himself first, always making sure you’re okay before he checks himself
in his dorm he probably has pictures of you sticked to the wall in like a heart shape and his roommates might make fun of him for being such a simp but those photos gives him strength whenever you two are apart 🔥
he’s all in for that relationship, he even officially introduced you to both his parents and paul
you taught him how to braid hair and whenever you stay at his mom’s he braid his sister’s hair under your supervision ☹️☹️
when he started dating you he probably became such a gossip guy LIKE hear me out, he started paying attention to details and people’s behavior to talk about it with you
“you won’t believe what i heard today from piper.” “nah, she didn’t told me about it directly, her body language did.”, “i know right, how could he do that to her?”
he’s all in for the tea‼️‼️‼️
OH and also when you began dating he started paying more attention to jewellery and his outfits upgraded so much??
HE IS ALSO SO JEALOUS OF YOU AND HE KISSES YOU IN PUBLIC WHEN HE CATCHES A GUY LOOKING YOUR WAY
“i know you’re a child of aphrodite but these people gotta know i am your ares. or hephaestus.” “wait, am i your ares or hephaestus?”
dating leo as an aphrodite’s child would include . . .
this man is head over heels for you, and i know i said percy also is head over heels for his partner but LEO is on different level
he often drags you to the bunker whenever he feels like it and make you sit there with him, while he crafts something (mostly for you)
that man dedicates all his work for you, like
“oh this? i made it for yn cus they said [insert thing] fall apart so i just… did it.”
ngl he is kind of insecure that you’d left him for a child of ares just like your mother did to his father. even though you reassure him he’s the one on your mind, it still stings him sometimes
getting an approval from your mom wasn’t even that hard as you thought it could be. though she wasn’t exactly the most delighted you were in love with her husband’s child but… love is love right?
pet names in spanish ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
n you would pick it up and surprise him by calling him something in spanish <3
EVEN THOUGH he’s insecure about history repeating itself he jokes about it way too much sometimes 😭😭
brags to jason about you so much jason wants to off himself and i am not kidding
he once asked you to charm-speak him just to see how it feels
“what? don’t be like that, mi amor. i gotta know what’s your power’s like in case you do it subconsciously.”
(that’s literally the dumbest excuse you’d ever hear but didn’t care, considering it was your boyfriend who asked)
MANY people says you remind them of charlie and silena and when you heard it for the first time, you broke down crying because it was such a good compliment
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