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#literally nothing else matters to me right now
tiredfox64 · 3 days
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Too Late? You’re Still Young!
Prior notes: DILFS! I LOVE THEM! I LITERALLY HAVE A I ❤️ DILFS SHIRT! YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I LOVE? CONSENT! WE 👏 LOVE 👏 CONSENT👏!
Pairing: Johnny Cage (MK11) x Virgin! Afab reader
Warnings ‼️: NSFW, fingering, praising, nipple play, safe sex is sweeter, mating press, aftercare (is freaking important)
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So you spent all of high school and all of college with you virginity in tact. Impressive, but it wasn’t your choice. With a sheltered home life like yours you struggled to understand the dating scene. You were too afraid to have a boyfriend since you worried you would get in trouble with your family. You never had the talk before but your hormones were a big indicator that you were missing some important information about your body. You somewhat found the solution when you placed a pillow between your legs and it felt incredible good to you.
Through Sex Ed class and word around school you figured out what you were in need of. But to get it seemed so difficult. At least now you knew your fingers were a good option.
That frustration grew in you and you couldn’t voice it out. Even telling it to your best friend Cassie felt wrong. You’re almost graduating and you still have your v card! You can’t do this anymore. Maybe it’s time to ask Cassie for advice. Even if she can’t help you maybe one of her friends can. Two of them are engaged to each other you doubt they are waiting till after marriage. Heaven knows you can’t.
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You went over to Johnny’s mansion since you remembered Cassie was staying with him for a bit. You knocked on the door and waited patiently with an anxious look on your face. It was Johnny who opened the door.
“Hey! I haven’t seen you in a while,” He paused for a second, “Woah, what’s up with that face?”
“Hi, Mr. Cage. Is Cassie here right now?” You asked sheepishly.
“Nope, sorry. She just went out with Jacqui. But you should still come in. I’ll get you something to drink.” He invited you in.
You went inside, taking your shoes off at the entrance like a decent human being. You followed Johnny into the kitchen where you sat at the island. He gave you a glass of water which you thanked him for before he started talking.
“So what’s going on? You don’t seem to happy. Let me guess, a professor gave you a bad grade.”
He knows you too well. That could be true but not at this moment. You did smile though which is the reaction he wanted.
“No actually, it’s more of a…body issue.” You tried your best to explain it without saying it out loud.
“Ah, shark week I’m guessing? That’s why you need Cassie.”
“No! No! It’s another kind of issue that I have a hard time saying.” Your voice grew quieter the more you spoke.
Johnny stayed patient. He waited to see if you would say it yourself. You were being vague so he really didn’t understand what was going on. You sighed before continuing.
“The thing is I’m still a virgin. It’s really embarrassing. I feel so frustrated knowing that my body needs something but I either don’t know what it is or I can’t get it.” Now he understands.
He stayed silent for a bit as he thinks about what you said. He would say it’s no big deal but he’s a man with a high body count so he shouldn’t be talking. Still, he doesn’t want you feeling bad about it.
“Cassie did tell me you were a bit sheltered. But I don’t see why it’s a problem. You’re a nice and intelligent girl and I would hate for some dick to take your virginity as if it was nothing.”
“Everybody says that to me! I know what I am and I understand I need a good man to do it with. But how will I know what is considered a good man if no one tells me.” You were really expressing your frustration.
You had a point and Johnny could see that. You were at risk of being misguided. Everyone is at risk of that no matter what but you had a disadvantage. He had an idea that might work out but it seemed so stupid. Hormonal stupid. He’s been deprived for a while now and getting the chance to have some fun is really tempting right now. But he doesn’t want to take advantage of your situation. It won’t hurt to ask.
“Alright listen, how about you and me…do it. I’ll show you how it goes and what a man should be doing to you. It’s up to you. I won’t force you to do anything.” He said calmly.
You froze up and your cheeks started to feel warm. You were surprised he would suggest something like that even though you knew of his flirting habits. Was it a good idea however? He is your friend’s dad and he is way older than you. You can’t deny though that he is still good looking for his age. Older does mean more experience, right? He’s been so nice to you too so you can trust that he’s a good man. Screw it, he’s the best option!
“You wouldn’t mind doing that? I mean I do feel comfortable with you, especially since I don’t have any guy friends.”
“Of course, but only this one time. Promise me you won’t tell Cassie, right? I get it she’s your best friend and best friends tell each other everything and whatnot. But she is still my daughter and I doubt she will be happy that I banged one of her best friends.”
“I promise. She will never find out.” Better make sure of that.
He nodded before taking your hand and guiding you up the stairs. It was exciting yet nerve racking. Johnny could sensed that and squeezed your hand to tell you it’s gonna be alright. He’s gonna take good care of you.
You two walked into his bedroom. His bed was large and comfortable which helped settle your nerves. He brought you over to the bed and had you sit next to him. He may be an expert in this but he has never really dealt with a girl who was so nervous before. He better take this real slow and talk you through it.
“Alright, first things first, a man should never go right into it. Foreplay is very important. It will help make the experience better for you and prevent you from getting hurt down there.” He instructed.
You had no idea what foreplay was but you trusted Johnny enough to not asking him about it. You were right to do so since all he did at first was kiss your neck. Already that was a lot for you. Each kiss felt like a little tingle that shot down between your legs.
Johnny’s hand was slowly tracing down your body till he got to the waistband of your pants. Your breathing hitched which alerted him you were getting nervous again.
“Shh, it’s okay. Remember I’m taking it slow. I won’t hurt you.” He whispered against your neck.
You relaxed a little as his hand slipped under. His fingers lightly touched your clit and you whimpered immediately. It felt way different than when you would do it to yourself. This is way better, probably cause you are receiving it from someone else. Johnny wanted to see how you were a little more down and was surprised at how wet you already were. He could easily slip his fingers in if he wanted to.
“Damn, you’re really wet. I’ve never had a girl get this excited so quickly.” He commented.
You were embarrassed by that. Barely touched and you are soaking wet down there. You turned your head away from Johnny to prevent any further embarrassment. He just chuckled lightly at your reaction.
“It’s not a bad thing. It makes it easier. You’re doing good.”
One of his fingers slipped into your pussy with ease. You gasped in surprise and pleasure. You never fingered yourself since you never felt anything from it. But you sure felt it now. That one finger slowly pumped inside you as his thumb rubbed your clit. You were keeping yourself together which was good. Johnny felt like you could take a little more.
“You think you can take another one?”
You nodded your head confidently. You wanted more anyways. Your body was in need of it. Now having both his ring and middle finger in you was like heaven. He went a little faster while his thumb kept rubbing your clit.
Your whimpers to turned to quiet, breathy moans. Now it felt too good. Without thinking you were trying to close your legs. You don’t know why you do it you just know you don’t want to make it hard for Johnny.
“Gotta keep your legs open for me. I promise it will be better for you if you do.”
You listened and tried your best to keep your legs open, spreading them wider than before. That should do it.
“That’s it, good girl.” He whispered.
Immediately you had a reaction. Your heart did flips and you felt warmth in your stomach. Johnny caught on when he felt your pussy clench against his fingers. Not surprising considering you always did seem excited by praise no matter what. He’ll keep that in mind when he fucks you in just a moment.
Your body grew hotter the longer this went on. It didn’t help that Johnny was so close to you. So close that his other hand went to the small of your back to support you. You didn’t know what to do with your hands so you were left clenching the bed sheets. Suddenly he asked you a very important question.
“Wait, now that I’m thinking about it, have you even had your first kiss?”
Nope, you didn’t even get that. You nodded no.
“Well I must look like a jerk. What kind of man am I,” He said comedically, “Let me help you with that as well.”
This must be some sort of dream. A dirty one at best. A dream where you are kissing your best friend’s hot dad as he fingers you. Even if you weren’t the best at kissing, Johnny was making it work. Thank goodness your lips were soft cause you’d be embarrassed if they weren’t.
This was all enough to send you over the edge. It really didn’t take much effort since you were so deprived. Your eyes were shut tight as you felt pleasure pulse through your body. You were moan against Johnny’s lips. He felt your pussy clench his fingers which was enough evidence to show he just made you cum. Damn, in three minutes? That’s a new record. To him that was impressive and boosted his already high ego. You were embarrassed, thinking that cumming too early was a bad thing. It’s only bad when it’s guys, you’re fine.
“I’m sorry. I thought I would last longer.” You apologized.
“There’s no need to apologize. It just means we can get to the really fun part now. Take your clothes and get comfortable on the bed.” He instructed.
Johnny gave you a quick kiss on the cheek before slipping his hand out from your pants. He wanted to make sure you were still comfortable. There was no need to feel embarrassed around him. The important thing is if you’re comfortable and still okay with this.
You took your time when taking your clothes off. Obviously you never stripped down in front of a man. Even when you would go to the pool you were nervous to take your shirt off. This was a big leap but you felt like you could do this. Deep breathes and take your time.
While you did that, Johnny went over to his bedside table to grab a condom. You could see how prepared this man is when you saw the long line of condoms he had. It’s been a while for him, they’re still good.
When you took all your clothes off you were quick to get on the bed and cover yourself with the blankets. He doesn’t mind he understands. He started to strip his clothes off and oh…wow.
You don’t care what anybody says he is like fine wine. He looks like he’s still in his prime. You couldn’t deny you felt yourself get wetter and you pressed your thighs together to alleviate the pressure down there. Then he took his pants off. Girl, you’re in trouble but a good kind of trouble.
You’re not mathematician or scientist but you can definitely say he was bigger than average. Was it supposed to be that thick? He saw how wide your eyes were and decided to tilt your head up so you could look at him instead.
“You should probably keep your eyes on me for now. Might scare you if you look down there for too long.” He’s not wrong but he sounds arrogant saying that.
He got on the bed and slowly pulled the blankets off you. You were still being shy which is fine. There is no need to rush into this he will make sure you are comfortable with going ahead. Plus, he’s gotta comment on those tits.
“You have a nice pair on you. Do you mind?” He was asking for your permission to play with them.
You nodded and he went in slowly. You felt his hands cup your breasts gently. His thumb rubbed against your soft skin. You were surprised by how calming it felt. Sure you were even more turned on but you also felt less nervous. Johnny came in closer and started to leave kisses all over them. At first it was gentle but then he decided he wanted to leave hickeys on them. Nothing too big but they were the perfect spot since no one will see them. It was definitely a new feeling but when you saw the marks he left on you, you knew you liked it.
You know what else you liked? When his tongue ran over your nipple. It surprised you but you soon relaxed again to the feeling. He sucked on your nipple gently, not wanting to overstimulate you just yet. His other hand went to pinch your other nipple which excited you more. Once again it was another situation where it felt better when someone else did it instead of you. With all this combined you started to grow needy. There was no sense of embarrassment or nervousness anymore, only this need to be fucked. You started to whine which let Johnny know you were ready.
“Alright, alright, I get you. Just give me a second, babe.”
It didn’t take long for Johnny to put the condom on, what a manwhore. He angled himself before holding your hand. It was for support.
“Just tell me if you need me to stop, okay?”
Then he started to push into your wet pussy. The feeling of being stretched out for the first time was deliciously painful. It’s not what you expected. You expected to be screaming and for a bunch of blood to come out. Nope, not at all. Inch by inch he slowly pushed himself inside of you till he was fully in. He didn’t start thrusting immediately since he knew you had to adjust.
“You okay?” He asked.
“I’m more than okay.”
“That’s good. You’re doing so good. So good for me.” Johnny started to give you kisses on your face which you appreciated.
After a few moments he started slowly thrusting into you. Your hand squeezed his but you never told him to stop. The pain slowly turned into pleasure. Finally, the pleasure of being fucked. Each thrust was another wave of pleasure through you. It was confusing at first, like your mind couldn’t comprehend something this good. Your body could.
Johnny started picking up the pace when no sign of pain was present in your face. You stopped having control over your moans. You weren’t being loud like a porn star. It was more like you couldn’t fake it even if you tried.
Damn, that’s what I sound like?
He didn’t want to push it too far but he was so tempted to pound into you. It’s been so long and you honestly felt amazing. He loved looking down at you and watching your breasts jiggle every time he thrusted in. You squeezed so nicely around his cock. He was trying to hold himself back from getting rough and you could see that. You wouldn’t push your lucky but your body says otherwise. Hormones are crazy like that, they will yell at you to do anything to get the pleasure you need. Your arms wrapped around his neck and your legs around his waist. You looked into his eyes and you said something that seemed so out of character for you but was what you truly wanted.
“Please go harder.” You begged.
“Fuck, are you sure?” Trust me, Johnny wanted to but he was still worried about hurting you.
You whined and wrapped your legs even tighter around his waist which let him know you weren’t playing.
“Alright, I get it. Never would have expected you to be so needy.” He teased.
He’ll do you one better. How about a new position? Nothing crazy but you will like it. He grabbed your thighs and pushed your legs back before putting you into a mating press. And you thought he was already deep enough. Good thing you are surprisingly flexible.
You really do need to keep your legs open more. It felt amazing to you when Johnny started pounding into your pussy. This position made it easier to hit that sweet spot inside you which you didn’t even know about.
You could hear a wet, squishing sound coming from down there every time he pulled in and out. Not only that but there was also the sound of skin slapping every time he rammed into you. It turned you on even more. You know why? Cause that’s the sound of being fucked, honey!
Johnny had a nice view in front of him. Listening to you moan for him as he continues to fuck you. You make him feel young again. He still has it in him. The energy to have fun with a girl and make her moan. Fuck, he is so glad he is doing this now.
You would be thinking the same but all you could focus on was how big he was and how all of that was slamming into you. At this point why hide any of your moans. No one is around and this is your first time. You should have as much freedom as you want. Get the full experience. You were keeping your eyes closed out of embarrassment but that won’t last for long.
“Come on, open those pretty eyes for me. Can you do that just for me, gorgeous?” Johnny whispered to you.
When he says it like that how can you deny. You slowly opened your eyes to look up at him. Sure you were still embarrassed but you realize that it was just hotter this way. The connecting that the eyes make. You’ve never seen a man look at you in such a way. A look that makes you feel desirable. There might even be some affection behind it. Because Johnny does care for you. Even if this is a one time thing he wants you to have the best experience and walk away with no regrets. It’s working for you.
It was all so much. The sounds, the feelings, the connection, the intimacy is all getting to you. Your nails started scraping against his back lightly. Your toes curled and your legs shook a little. Your eyes almost rolled back and your moans grew louder. You were about to cum and Johnny could see that.
“You’re gonna cum? You wanna cum, pretty girl? Go ahead. Just keep looking at me.” He commanded.
You kept looking at Johnny as he slammed into your sweet spot again. This orgasm was better than the last one. It felt like a heat radiated through your body. All your worries came undone just like you. Like a knot just unraveling in your stomach. You looked at Johnny with half-lidded eyes as you let out breathy moans. Damn, he could have came right there on the spot but he was holding himself together.
“Bet that felt good, didn’t it.” He teased before leaving some kisses on your face.
You knew Johnny would feel like a king after making you cum twice. He’s cocky like that. Ah, but you forgot. He hasn’t cum yet.
“You think you can go a little longer for me, baby? Just a little longer.” He asked to keep going so he can cum.
He didn’t wanna overstimulate you during your first time but it’s your call. You’re a trooper, you can go a little longer even though you are incredibly sensitive down there now. You nodded which made him smile.
He stopped pressing down on you which was a relief for your legs. He still kept them open. He started thrusting into you again, not as rough as when he had you in a mating press but it still felt great. He watched as his cock went in and out of your pussy. Your wetness coated the condom and it still made a wet sound. Oh how he wished he could just take it off and fuck you raw. Fell how warm you are and cum into that sweet pussy of yours. But that’s a stupid idea. One that young Johnny would make and he’s a better man than that. Still won’t stop him from thinking about it.
And that view of you, mwah! Watching your legs shake slightly from being overstimulated. Your hands gripping the sheets around you. Your breasts kept jiggling no matter how hard he pounded into you. He can see your eyes grow wet as you handle the sensations. All that combined with his little fantasy of cumming inside you sent him over the edge. One more thrust in and he was cursing softly as his cum filled the condom.
You both were left panting after that wonderful experience. Johnny pulled out and went to dispose of the condom. Damn there was a lot in there.
You were pretty exhausted but happy nonetheless. You don’t really know what you are supposed to do after. If you’re supposed to just put your clothes on and walk off as if what happened didn’t happen. That’s not how this goes. Not with Johnny.
He came back to you with a bottle of water in his hand. He went next to you and helped you sit up, placing his other hand on your back.
“You’re probably really exhausted after that. Here, drink this.” You gladly accepted the bottle of water, not even realizing how parched you were.
“So, what now? Do I just leave?” You asked which just proved to Johnny that it was best that he did it with you first.
“If a man ever told you to leave right after he’s an asshole. Don’t ever let a man do that to you. Come here.” Johnny pulled you close to him and made you lay down.
Your head laid on his chest which his arm was wrapped around you. He pulled the blankets over you to make sure you were comfy. His fingers ran through your hair which soothed you even more. This was incredibly nice. You didn’t realize how tired you were till he put you in this position. Your eyelids started to grow heavy and your breathing slowed down. There was only one thing left to say to him.
“Thank you…” You said softly.
You drifted off to sleep in his arms as he gave you a kiss on your forehead. Maybe Johnny was getting pretty old since he needed to sleep as well after that. He too started to fall asleep, happy to have a wonderful girl next to him again.
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Cassie and Jacqui just came back from their little, or more like big, shopping trip. Cassie was about to call out to her dad till she saw your shoes at the entrance.
“Oh shit, she’s here?” She said.
She went around calling your name, surprised you weren’t out in plain sight. in fact, neither was her dad. She guessed that maybe you were upstairs in her room. Nope, not there either. Well if anything her dad had to be in his room or something. She knocked a few times but no answer. She just decided to open the door herself.
“Hey dad, do you have any idea where-“ Cassie stopped herself when you looked at the scene in front of her. Even Jacqui gasped out loud.
She slowly closed the door again, a shocked expression on her face. She looked at Jacqui who confirmed what they saw was true. Out of all of Cassie’s friends she would have never suspected you of sleeping with her father. She doesn’t even think you did it on purpose you’re not that kind of person. This was all so much and she could only mutter three words.
“What the fuck.”
After notes:🍊…🦊so like, you gonna pay rent or something? Do I gotta feed you? Fuck do you even eat? One of your comrades came crashing through the window this early morning. Who the fuck gonna pay for that? Ah, anyways. My daddy issues have come to say hi. Can’t tell if fucking Johnny will heal me or having him be a father figure to me will. Just need him to ruffle my hair and tell me my professors are the bitches not me. Hope y’all have a good day! Adiós!
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hongthoven · 3 days
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do not disturb ✘ seonghwa x reader (smut)
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one-shot ✦ 3.1k w pairing ✦ seonghwa x fem!reader au ✦ Ateez OT9 (reader as 9th member) tags ✦ smut; established relationship; jealous!hwa; voyeurism ; reader is close with Mingi; bit of angst if you squint summary ✦ while on tour with your band, it's finally time to relax for a couple days in Paradise. At least that was the plan until your boyfriend gets jealous of your sudden proximity with another band member. 18+ only | mdni
notes ✦ this was a request sent to me weeks ago ♡︎
networks ✦ @newworldnet
pls reblog & comment if you like it 𖹭
© hongthoven
You didn’t know how long you had been here. All you knew is that the sun was slowly going down and your entire body felt sore, starting with your back as it hit the wall at a strong, steady pace. 
“Hwa— slow down, they might— hear us” Your words were barely mumbled through heavy pants as you looked up to meet your boyfriend’s gaze, his entire face showing signs of exhaustion mixed with his typical manic stare. There was something in his eyes telling you not to push him too far, although you might have done that already, all prior decisions leading to the moment he had lifted you up from the floor and unexpectedly slammed you against the nearest wall with his lips already feasting on your neck.
“So what? Let them hear you” His voice was cold as stone, like a command, and with the blink of an eye, you knew exactly who “them” truly meant to him. Mingi. Whose room just happened to be next to yours. You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t noticed the fuming look on your boyfriend’s face the minute your feet had left the ground only to climb onto Mingi’s back and perch your bikini cladded butt on his shoulders. Actually, anyone could tell Seonghwa genuinely hated the idea of you two paired together, even as a team over a silly beach game Yeosang had suggested, calling it “team building” with a chuckle when it had done nothing but push Seonghwa over the edge of whatever sanity he had left. 
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“Now that’s just stupid, someone could get hurt…” Seonghwa stated as soon as he was paired with Wooyoung over rock paper scissors, purposely ignoring the little celebration dance you and Mingi had quickly come up with, as the opposite team.  “Isn’t the whole point of this vacation to actually rest, by the way?” 
“Relax, party pooper! Some of us would like to have fun… now giddy up, beautiful!” Although Mingi meant no arm, his words reached Seonghwa like a bullet right to the head as he struggled to compose himself, his eyes glued to his friend’s hands— painfully gripped to your thighs. If his heart wasn’t beating like crazy already, seeing Mingi’s face comfortably tucked between your legs was his last straw. Everything suddenly turned into a blur as he reluctantly lifted Wooyoung off the ground to help him up. The least he could do now was to make sure this game wouldn’t last long enough for him to spiral into more sinister thoughts— like the devastating eventuality of Mingi feeling your flesh through the thin fabric of your bathing suit. Or you getting worked up over the mere friction of his hair against your slit. Every nasty, fucked-up thoughts he could have were now piling up into his head until he couldn’t think straight any longer. 
“Let’s get this over with” You knew he meant every word literally and judging by the look on his face, Seonghwa wouldn’t hesitate to go hard on his bandmate, even if that meant for you to fall head first into the water in the process. Nothing else mattered but for this nightmare to end and for his visions to stop. Anything seemed like an excuse for him to dive deeper into paranoia— the way your hands were framing Mingi’s face, sometimes to the extent where you had to pull at his hair a little not to fall back, sending him to a darker place and a scenario that definitely involved your fists tearing his brown strands apart while you came from the constant flick of his tongue against your clit. Lucky for him, Seonghwa had been paired with the noisiest member, Wooyoung’s excited yelps coming to the rescue everytime he drifted back into the absolute nonsense of his vivid reveries. 
“Watch out!” Wooyoung’s high-pitched voice was the last thing he heard before everything turned to a sapphire blur as the youngest dragged him along through his fall until they both disappeared under water. Everything seemed so much more peaceful down here, from the muffled sound of voices to the infinite quietness of the Abyss— and for a second, Seonghwa felt suddenly thankful for the short yet unexpected lull of his defeat. 
“Baby, are you alright?” Your voice sounded familiar yet faded from his blocked up ears. Eyes red with salted water, Seonghwa struggled for a while, adjusting to the brightness of the sun as he finally found your gaze, pleased to find his favorite face painted with worry— yet your body still attached to Mingi whose hands were now tightly locked above your knees, keeping you still as you towered over everyone from 6 ft above. 
“C’mon man, don’t be such a sore loser!” Mingi called out as Seonghwa decided to escape without a word, his feet anchored into the sand as he walked back to grab his clothes on his way back towards the hotel. But as all the members were quick to joke about Seonghwa’s tendency to turn into a grumpy mess anytime he failed a game, you couldn’t help but notice the slight difference in your boyfriend’s attitude this time. He wasn’t angry over the game. He was entirely consumed by jealousy. 
Running in the sand wasn’t your best decision, but still an unexpected work-out, especially when Seonghwa’s legs would take a single step when yours needed three to four more, but eventually, you managed to catch up with him, your hand instantly wrapping around his arm.
“Hwa? Is everything okay, baby?” If facing his broad, muscled back wasn’t enough to dismantle you, the look of absolute rage on your boyfriend’s face as he turned around definitely sealed the deal. With his long black hair pushed back, his caramel skin merely sunkissed and a few droplets plummeting over his cheeks like a comforting memory from the Sea, Seonghwa looked absolutely ethereal, making it hard for you to focus on any of the words coming out of his plump lips. 
“Let’s not do this here” He almost commanded, his mind still playing tricks with him as his eyes lingered over your body and how tightly hugged you seemed in that bikini now that it was soaked, your nipples perking against the fabric as goosebumps traveled up to the back of your neck under Seonghwa’s touch. With his palm pressed to the small of your back, his pace more determined than ever, Seonghwa led you back to the Hotel, his lips completely sealed through the entire walk to your room. 
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There wasn’t much of a fight, let alone a talk happening as you reached the corridor, waiting for Seonghwa to unlock the door with the plastic card you’d been given when checking into the fancy hotel for a couple— much deserved— days of vacation in the middle of touring Europe. While Greece wasn’t on the few stops planned for the Summer tour, you were the one suggesting the destination, your body craving some sunlight and delicious food while bonding with your members. Sometimes it wasn’t easy being the only girl among eight, only male members, but somewhere along the way, these guys had quickly become your chosen family. Brothers, for most of them, with an obvious soft spot for Seonghwa who had been promoted to the boyfriend status within months of putting the group together. Mingi was close behind, his contagious smile and perpetuous cheerful mood always coming handy in times of stress or hardcore promotion— though it sometimes dragged you into a difficult position within your relationship.
And now here you were— taped to the wall with Seonghwa’s hands keeping your legs tightly wrapped around his hips as he rocketed himself into you. By now, your bikini top had risen above your breast from your boyfriend constantly pulling at the fabric without much patience, eager to attach his lips to your sensitive skin, the flick of his tongue over your erected buds almost sending you over the edge as you clenched endlessly around him. 
Seonghwa was — for the most — a gentle yet passionate lover. Always taking his time to get you hot and bothered, nose deep into your cunt while edging you just the right amount before he decided to have you in his own way. But somehow, his jealous side turned him into a whole different person. Whenever his boyfriend ego was triggered, he suddenly became a man on a mission, eager to claim your body and to make sure you knew who you belonged to. 
The room was filled with an obscene mix of your moans and the perfectly cadenced sound of your skin slapping against his, air heavy and warm, almost suffocating as your neck found a collar in the shape of Seonghwa’s lean fingers wrapping tightly into your flesh, forcing your eyes to meet his dilated pupils. 
“You’re gonna cum for me, love” 
Not a question— very much more of a statement. There wasn’t a second of hesitation in his tone as the words slipped off his lips like a command. You were gonna cum for him. 
Still, the fact he made sure to use one of his favorite pet names was enough of a hint for you to find comfort in his usual warmth. 
And with a single nod, you allowed Seonghwa to ruin you some more.
With long strands of black hair plastered all over his face, tangled into a thin coat of sweat like a chaotic mix of spiderwebs and some glue, Seonghwa looked absolutely dismantled— so far from the perfectly neat aura he typically brought into a room and though you could barely think straight as he hammered his hips between your abused thighs, you couldn’t deny the sparkle of pride in your eyes as you realized no one else would ever get to witness this version of him. 
Pins and needles were slowly invading your legs, creeping up your thighs from being held up against a wall for too long but all thoughts were long gone when a particular sharp thrust sent you off, forcing your eyes to roll at the back of your head as the taste of blood finally hit your tongue, teeth sunk into your bottom lip until the skin broke from the permanent pressure.
You felt it coming, the familiar warmth knotting at the pit of your stomach, flames licking at your cheeks as they turned a brighter shade of pink from gasping for air. Eyebrows knitted together, Seonghwa’s gaze found your face— you knew he could feel it too, the way you were clenching so much harder around his throbbing cock, how your velvety walls swallowed him with such ease as he suddenly got sloppier with his thrusts— and when he leant just enough for his lips to ghost over yours, his breathing tickling your tongue as your mouth awaited desperately for the kiss you had been craving for too long, a sudden whine traveled up from your throat, dying in the air still hanging between your faces as his mouth failed to connect with yours. 
Desperation found its nest in a soft grunt as you tilted your head back, hitting the wall behind you while Seonghwa smirked in victory. He had you precisely where he intended you to be. Putty in his hands. Desperate. A single tear prickling in the corner of your eyes from the lack of compassion he was providing while still driving you to the finish line. 
A knock on the door suddenly dragged you out of your thoughts, your eyes instantly landing on the corridor, irrationally worried someone may have complained about the noises coming from your room— and while it would be the perfect time for a break, Seonghwa unexpectedly decided to ignore the intrusion, his fingers pressing into the flesh of your ass as he hammered himself into you harder than ever. If you weren’t too dizzy to think straight, you could see the adrenaline in his eyes, the thrill of getting caught and the twisted urge to let whoever was behind the door know he was balls deep into your cunt and unavailable to greet them.
The knocking eventually stopped after a few attempts, leaving you nervous, breathless and worried about the consequences while hoping it was just one of the other members and not some concerned employee of the hotel or even worse, your manager.
“Lost in your own thoughts, love?” 
You had been downgraded to just “love” , no longer his , but he still loved you. 
“Worried someone might hear us? Mingi, maybe?” 
Though you knew what this was all about, having Seonghwa express himself and boldly mention his band member as the issue was a new perspective. Not only was there anger in his eyes, but you could now perfectly see the hurt in his black pupils and the way he frowned. That was the look of a man too scared to admit he felt threatened, a man who feared to lose you, as insane as it sounded to you— you were hook, line and sinker in love with Seonghwa and never in a million years would you dare look at someone else. How could you, when he was exactly and precisely what you needed?
“Speak of the devil” Seonghwa added, forcing you to frown a little as his hand reached for his phone on the table right next to you. You had missed the buzzing sound of a call, deeply anchored into your own thoughts, but when your eyes caught a glimpse of Mingi’s name on the screen, you couldn’t miss the way your heart almost stilled in your chest. 
Moreover, you went absolutely livid when Seonghwa decided to answer while still perfectly sleeved into your cunt. 
“ ‘sup man? “ he simply asked, his phone tucked between his shoulder and ear while pushing himself into you at a slower pace but so much deeper, stealing an unfortunate squeal out of you. Head foggy with nerves, arousal and fear, you could hear the muffled sound of Mingi’s voice on the other side of the line as Seonghwa found some sadistic pleasure in keeping the conversation casual. Like he wasn’t wrecking your insides. 
Looking into your eyes with a devilish smile, you could see the darkness draping over your boyfriend’s face as he moved you to the table, sitting you comfortably on the edge while pressing a palm on your stomach so you would lay back on your elbows just enough to enjoy the show he was about to put on. 
His phone laid next to you now, Mingi on speaker, making you nervous and exposed while Seonghwa pushed your legs apart, kneeling in front of you while keeping the conversation going with his friend— something about a song they were working on together the night before and struggling with some lyrics, not that you cared much about it when Seonghwa’s tongue eventually pressed flat against your slit, collecting your arousal with a single, strong flick as you shivered uncontrollably against the table.
Everything felt so wrong, so perverted, like he had invited Mingi to join a private party of two, offering a chance for him to stand in the corner of the room, cock in hand, while Seonghwa made sure to show exactly how you liked to be owned. 
Arching your back to push yourself further into his tongue, you could already see some stars dancing on the ceiling, almost dragging the air out of your lungs as Seonghwa wrapped his lips around your clit, sucking at it like a starved man, making a show out of it. 
“Anyway— are you guys coming down for dinner?” Mingi voice interrupted, forcing your hands to cover your face, teeth pressed around your thumb as you tried your best to compose yourself, to stay quiet as you squirmed and shook into Seonghwa skilled hands. 
“Maybe later— had a late snack” Seonghwa muffled, his tongue flicking around your sensitive bud as you soaked his chin, praying that the awful sound of your own depravity couldn’t be heard over the phone. 
“Yeah you sound like you have a mouthful” Mingi joked, laughing at the realization as he eventually ended the call. And while you should have been mortified, the way Seonghwa looked up to smirk triumphantly almost sent you over the edge.  
Seeing you squirm and clench around nothing, Seonghwa traveled up to find your lips, pressing a palm against your mouth while the other guided his hardened member to your aching hole, pushing himself in one hard thrust without warning. Screaming into his hand, head tilted back and almost over the edge of the table, you could feel the way it rocked against your back, ready to collapse as Seonghwa fucked himself into you at the roughest pace, printing the varnished wood into the back of your thighs. 
“Fuck— Hwa— I’m… close” you were a blurbing mess at this point, almost drooling into his hand as he traveled his gaze back and forth, smirking at the way you swallowed him perfectly and up to your perfect, fucked out face. 
“You are, uh? I can feel it…” his teeth sunk into your flesh, biting into your collarbone as he bottomed out one more time— and then nothing. 
Gasping for air, your whole body still trembling from skimming over the edge, you looked up to see Seonghwa unfolding himself off your embrace, pulling out and tucking himself back into his underwear. 
“Wh—what are you doing?” you dared to ask, sitting up although your entire body felt like it was about to collapse. Sore and halfway between climax and deprivation. 
“I’ll go work on that song with Mingi” he smiled, leaning for a quick peck on your lips as you stared at him, completely puzzled. Offended, even. 
“Are you fucking kidding me now?” you were fuming at this point, ready to put on a fight according to his next answer. 
“I said you’d come for me, my love, I didn’t say when” 
You watched as Seonghwa gathered his clothes, fixing himself up in the mirror and pulling his messy wet hair into a tight bun with only a few strands framing his face. You had never felt such an insane mix of humiliation and thrill all at the same time. 
“You better be ready for me when I come back, I am nowhere near done with you” walking towards you, Seonghwa pressed one firm hand behind your neck, his lips finding yours— at last. There was something different about his kiss, more demanding, quite not as desperate as you wished it to be, but meaningful enough for you to know he wasn’t upset anymore. 
“Maybe I’ll let Mingi watch, this time” he smirked against your lips, his tongue tracing the outline of your mouth at a devilish slow pace while a chuckle died in his throat— and while you hated to admit it, you could feel a fire sparkle into your guts at the eventuality. 
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it always struck me as kind of hilarious that you have to pass a 30DC check to convince shadowheart not to kill dame aylin but if you're just like "sure do whatever lol" she chooses not to kill her anyway. tsundere ass fuck. killing is bad unless it's out of spite. i have morals unless you try to tell me what to do
but i just got to that scene in my new replay and it made me realize that that's not what's at stake at all
because the persuasion check isn't "don't do this". the persuasion check is, your life is whatever you make of it. you don't have to do something just because your goddess tells you to.
convincing shadowheart not to kill dame aylin is easy. she knows it's wrong, and she doesn't want to, not really. if given the choice, she is literally unable to go through with it even if she clearly wants to, or wants to want to so badly she can't tell the difference
the problem is convincing her she has an option in the first place
the problem is convincing her that her life is her own
shadowheart has never belonged to herself since she was captured. not in body, not in soul, not in mind, not even her memories. she quite literally doesn't know who she is in more ways than one. she doesn't know her past or her family, she doesn't know who her loved ones are (including the sharran loved ones, like nocturne), all she really knows about herself is a fear of wolves that's been implanted into her by lies and an attachment to a flower she can't remember the details of. and a mission. always a mission. the will of someone else she has to carry on, that is not for her to understand or question or think about. she can't even want to serve shar, because she isn't allowed to pursue her intention to become a dark justiciar. she is supposed to be well and truly nothing, empty as the sharran doctrine
(oh, and pain that she doesn't know the reason of. no matter what, she must bear the pain)
how can she see herself as more than her goddess, when she quite literally doesn't know anything about who she is other than her devotion to shar? how can she choose her own destiny, when she couldn't even choose how to devote and give herself over to her?
she can't, which is why, unless you have infinite rizz points and/or roll a nat20, shadowheart attacks you. not dame aylin. you. and she never argues about whether or not it's the right thing, because she knows. what she's rebelling against isn't the idea of letting dame aylin go. what she's rebelling against is the idea that she could leave her cage and belong to no one but herself. because the idea is scary and she quite literally doesn't know where to begin. which is why her obsession becomes to find her parents, even though she doesn't remember them at all. because maybe they can tell her who she's supposed to be, and she can have the comfort of having her path laid out before her again
(which is also why she has to kill them. not because of some hand hurty curse bullshit. but because she just wants them and selûne to become the new shar, and she has to let that go if she truly means to claim herself again)
and now im sad. because it's easier for shadowheart to do turn against shar and everything she's ever had on the grounds of saving someone else than on the grounds that she deserves better than to be a puppet. even if you do nothing, saving dame aylin, to her, is easy. saving herself is a wholly different matter, one she's not sure she has any right to, or wants to, even if it's what she really needs. accepting a selûnite's humanity is easier than accepting her own. losing everything is easier than gaining her own autonomy. and she will fight tooth and nail to be allowed to stay in her own, metaphorical soul cage
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iris-black13 · 3 days
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In honour of Merlin trending for literally no reason today, I would like to share my theories that I came up with during my recent rewatch. (I'm only up to season 3 right now so there really aren't that many theories yet.)
1. Merlin and Arthur 100% fell in love with each other in season 1, but they aren't aware of it at all.
2. Merlin is so gay. I'm not sure if he knows it or not, but Merlin is not attracted to women. Every time he's seemed interested in a woman, it's because she's been a powerful sorceress or a magical creature. Speaking of Freya; his only real female love interest, what he loves about her is that he sees himself in her. He feels a sense of kinship towards her as someone who is trapped and hunted for something out of her control. I don't think he feels any actual romantic love for her. He loves her, sure. But I think he's confusing romantic love for something else. (But idk I could be wrong.)
3. I don't think the Morgana we got back after her disappearance is the same Morgana we had pre S2E12. I think she probably died and came back wrong. Because otherwise the personality difference is too drastic. Her relationship with Gwen for instance. It makes sense if she didn't forgive Merlin for what he did, but why is she so mean to Gwen?? Gwen was her best friend and maybe even her first love? Morgana was never classist before season 3, but afterwards she acts like Gwen is lesser than and it just doesn't make sense. Anyway that's my in-universe explanation for her terrible shift in character.
4. This is the most important one. Merlin doesn't realize he's in love with Arthur until some time shortly before the season 2 finale. Before the finale, Merlin is happy to cheer on the romance between Arthur and Gwen. Two of his best friends fell in love! Why wouldn't he be happy? Even if they think there's no future for their relationship, he's more than happy to help them get together because Merlin believes in loving who you want to love.
Now, I could go on about how falling in love with Gwen is basically Arthur's way of expressing his repressed feelings for Merlin since Gwen and Merlin are of the same social standing and since Gwen is a woman he can experience the love he could have had with Merlin if it was allowed, but I won't do that. This ain't about him. What's important is that Merlin, in the season 2 finale- knows he's in love with Arthur, and that Arthur can't love him back. After the finale, he's still happy to help his friends in their affections for each other, but his bright goofy smile is gone. It's replaced with this melancholy smile and a hesitant voice.
I'm so serious right now. If you don't believe me, just go rewatch seasons 2 and 3 and see the shift in his demeanor yourself. He actively avoids them when they're interacting in season 3. In- I think it was the changeling episode, at the end, Arthur and Merlin walk into a hallway at the bottom of the staircase. They both see Gwen on the staircase, and when Arthur starts up the stairs, Merlin immediately leaves. It's not a "I'll give them their space" moment. It's a "I can't be here right now" kind of moment. He doesn't even try to stick around to protect Arthur on their date in the episode where Morgana frames Gwen for witchcraft. (and don't even get me started on that episode of my god.) Normally, he would stick around in the shadows to make sure nothing goes wrong and they aren't attacked or anything. It's weird that he doesn't try to stick around!
And oh my God. There are so many moments where Colin Morgan's acting just makes my heart ache. In the crystal caves, Merlin trying to banter with an unconscious Arthur while trying desperately to heal him makes me want to cry. And any time he's encouraging Gwen to follow her heart and be with Arthur just makes me ache. In the "...you still have feelings for him." And the "you like him. He likes you. Isn't that all that really matters?" I just can't.
Honestly, I could go on, but this post is already wordy enough. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.
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thehollowwriter · 2 days
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(Idk if I send a lot of asks but)
💚: What does everyone else get wrong about your favorite character?
💛: What is a popular ship you just can't get behind, and why?
💛: What is a popular ship you just can't get behind, and why?
Fucking
Leoruggie and jamikali. It's a tie.
Leona is 20+. Ruggie is 17. Ruggie is in a servant role and far less privileged than Leona, who is a prince. This ship just frustrates me so much, and so many fics involve Leona treating Ruggie even worse than he does in game so it's just... bleh.
Jamil is the Asim family's slave. He is a slave. "Servant", "caretaker", "bodyguard", etc are are all nice ways of putting it. Jamil's entire being revolves around Kalim. He cannot exist outside of Kalim. He takes the subjects Kalim takes, thinks of Kalik at all times, and can never truly enjoy himself. His life from the start is deemed as lesser than Kalim's, as he's his poison tester as well. He resents Kalim for this.
Kalim essentially owns Jamil. He is a kind boy but so awfully unaware of the harm he himself is causing Jamil. In his vignettes, in the events, etc, whenever he's faced with a problem or wants something done, he tells people, "Jamil will handle it!" And carries on with no regard to Jamil's feelings or if it's even possible to do such things.
When Jamil tells him to stop doing something, or that he can't get this thing done in time, Kalim ignores him and says "I can count on you Jamil!" Why? Because Kalim is spoiled and even he is sweet, doesn't really understand the word no. Obviously, he's not doing this maliciously, but it's still very harmful and does nothing but contribute to Jamil's stress and suffering.
Idk, this whole ship doesn't sit right with me because it just feels like romance is a bandaid slapped onto a gaping chasm of a problem. Not to mention, no matter how kind Kalim is, it's very toxic and dangerous for Jamil to be dating someone with complete and unquestionable control over his autonomy like Kalim.
💚: What does everyone else get wrong about your favorite character?
Azul beats out the tweels by 0.0000000001% so...
People either make him too much of a soft hearted crybaby, or too much of an evil capitalist.
Azul was hurt deeply as a child. The emotional scars left will take a very long time to fade. To cope he strived to make himself better, stronger, more desirable, and so on. In doing so, he's hardened his heart and it's a lot more difficult to get him now. It's literally stated in game that he hasn't cried in years. So no, reader giving him some affection won't make him burst into tears. He's not emotionless, but he's not going to turn into Season 1 Deku 2.0.
Then there's the other end of the scale. Some of ya'll make Azul way worse than he actually is. No, he's not going to force someone to date him. No, he's not going to make a potion to fucking... drug the reader??? Idk so many fics make him so overbearing and aggressive it's just... not like him.
And, let's not forget, he's a restaurateur's son and is literally just... a guy who owns a restaurant and wants to expand it. Sometimes people treat him like he's going to be the next CEO of Amazon or something. Azul is not ever going to be as viciously awful as most if not all CEOs are. Remember those guys are also sexist, homophobic, and racist and often fund bigoted organisations. Which... Azul would not do?
I know Azul can be a difficult character to write. It's hard to get a good balance when he's so morally grey. He's not an angel, but he's definitely not a complete monster either.
Sorry this is so long Elena, I got excited 😭
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imakatperson22 · 13 hours
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Some people who have their head far up their ass that everything must be racism. Like a certain character? Racism.
It couldn’t possibly be that some people (queer people) feel represented by him in a positive manner and that deeply means something to them.
Just because you are not attracted to him, doesn’t mean others can’t be, and if they are it doesn’t mean it’s because he’s white. Maybe it’s because he’s confident or interesting or because he has a cleft.
Just because you think the actor “only plays douche characters well” and their acting is “sub par” doesn’t mean everyone else see it that way and just likes him cause he’s white.
“Literally nothing to put over a POC actor”? How about simply because this is where the story is right now? How about that? How about it doesn’t matter what color the actor is? Race and ethnicity have zero to do with the story being told.
How about there’s literally zero reason to compare and pit white actors against POC actors? White actors are not the enemies of POC actors. White actors are not harming POC actors simply by doing their jobs and doing them well. Acting and creating art is a collaborative process and everyone involved is part of a team, white or not.
Art is subjective. You’re allowed to not like a character. You’re allowed to not like a plot line. You can think Tommy is an asshole or that he’s not attractive to you. What you’re not allowed to do is label anyone who disagrees with you as racist like there’s no other possible explanation.
And saying this makes me racist, then put me in blackface idc.
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they managed to massacre Aang's character and all the struggle and importance of his choice in the finale in a SINGLE page, and yet there are people who think the comics are good
and of course Katara's would have nothing to say on the matter, toootally in-character
Not to mention: yes, Zuko is right that a lifetime of indoctrination won't magically stop affecting him just because he's aware of it now, but the way the comics really said "If you're not perfect, you deserve to die. Not rehabilitation, not even incarceration despite it being an option, just straight to violent, lethal punishment" is horrying.
And lets not forget the blatant abuse apologism of having Zuko, the kid who was told by his abusive parent that his disfigurement and banishment was "for his own good" after he made one "mistake", turning to his closest friends and asking them to be his "safety net" by MURDERING HIM IF EVER STEPS OUT OF LINE - and said friends then agree to it.
Are you fucking kidding me? The real Aang would have double-down on the "You're NOT your father" bit, and the entire friend group would have been super concerned about Zuko because a victim of abuse saying they're as bad as their abuser thus deserve to die is one hell of a red flag as to how their mental health is going.
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Speaking of mental health: I talk a lot about how Azula was constantly being abused by the supposed heroes in the comics, and how the justification of it is rooted in ableism, but this nonsense with Zuko asking to be put down like a dog is also peak victim blaming, and one of the few moments in which one can actually feel bad for comics!Zuko.
And it ties into a disturbing pattern I noticed among Avatar fans - and mainly Zuko fans. They don't truly understand that what Ozai put his children through was wrong, they simply think he chose the wrong kid as the escapegoat. They think Azula should have been the one that is constantly punished just for existing, while Zuko is the golden child that can do no wrong - or else.
This moment right here? With the people that he trusts agreeing to inflict violence on him if he ever makes a mistake? This is that "or else". This is literally the same mentality that led to Azula's breakdown because NO ONE CAN SURVIVE UNDER THAT MUCH PRESSURE.
And that leads us to the main reason why the comcis suck: Yang was using Zuko as a self-insert.
"Zuko‘s relationship with Ozai is something we – Mike, Brian, Dark Horse, Nickelodeon, and I – talked about extensively when we first started working together. There’s this strange thing that happens to people in power. The pressures of power often blur the lines between enemies. That’s part of what happens to Zuko here. Ozai is the only one who knows what it’s like to be Fire Lord, the only one who has the wisdom of experience. I also looked at my own life. I used to clash with my dad quite a bit when I was a teenager. However, as I grew up and found myself in roles that he used to have, I began to understand more and more of his decisions. My father isn't thoroughly evil, of course, but I imagine Zuko feels a little of the same pull."
Yang. My guy. My dude. The words "Ozai" and "wisdom" should NEVER be in the same sentence. Every single action of Ozai's as Fire Lord was based on him being an abusive piece of shit that finally got access to absolute power. He is not a stern dad, he is abusive. He's not misunderstood, he needed to be stopped and locked away. He is a human being with feelings and motivations, yes, but he is WRONG ABOUT LITERALLY EVERYTHING EVER. He NEVER had a point. Zuko has nothing to learn from him except what NOT to do. That's why he looks like an older, unscarred Zuko. A version of Zuko that never changed.
This is the core issue of the comics, and why it had so many moments of unintentional abuse apologism: they say Ozai is a villain, but they're going out of their way to constantly make the characters come dangerously close to saying "Maybe he had a point." That's why they have Zuko turn to Ozai for advice despite claiming he wants to avoid becoming like him - because the guy writting them couldn't understand that the bad guy was, in fact, bad and in the wrong and has no wisdom to offer to anyone.
Avatar, the series, is about the world moving past from the sick mentality people like Ozai had, and about his son realizing that he did not deserve to be abused. The Avatar Comics are about telling Zuko (and others) "Ozai isn't wrong actually, you'll understand when you're older."
No, Yang, they won't. Because there's nothing to "understand" here other than THE GUY THAT ABUSED HIS CHILDREN AND COMMITED GENOCIDE WAS WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING, YOU DUMBASS!
Saying "the villain had a point" does not make a story better unless it is true - and in Ozai's case, it simply isn't. Insisting otherwise doesn't make the story and characters more mature, it just means you couldn't understand a cartoon aimed at 7-year-olds despite being a grown-ass man.
And I won't even get into Bryke approving of this bullshit otherwise I'll start tearing my hair out in rage at how badly they seem to have lost touch with the message of their best work, so let me just use a simple statemet to make everyone understand just how much of a disaster this is:
Even M. Night Shyamalan didn't misunderstand ATLA to the point of thinking Ozai wasn't actually wrong, but Bryan, Mike and Yang did. The comics understand the show less than M. Night Shyamalan did.
I rest my fucking case.
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Sorry for not being very active on here
Just wanted to give an update because a lot has been going on with me and I haven’t even had the time or energy to think about writing or being on this blog because of everything lol.
So, I recently got into a car wreck on the 14th on my way to work. Some guy was trying to make a left turn into the neighborhood I live in on the highway and his engine stalled and (even though he saw me coming and knew that his 20+ year old car had engine problems) he pulled out in front of me to cross but because his engine stalled he didn’t make it and I crashed into him. I’m okay btw!!! Luckily and thankfully I only made it out with a bruised leg, but my car is in bad shape and is most likely totaled because the engine went out after the crash and I couldn’t move my car out of the road nor could I even get out of my car from the driver’s side, I had to escape from the passenger side.
So…yeah, there’s that and I’ve been dealing with a lot of mental health issues because my work has been overworking me and pushing me to my limit and I’m honestly getting really tired of giving my all and breaking my back for this store and getting nothing out of it, like not even a raise (when I asked for one they said it was “being processed by corporate” and apparently this raise has been in the works for me since December so…I don’t think I’ll be getting a raise any time soon tbh and even if I did get a raise it probably wouldn’t be enough to keep me there). Like, just last Wednesday I had a stressed induced illness because I was so burnt out from work and worried about stuff that it made me physically ill so (for the first time ever in 1 year of working at that store) I called out sick (and then that same week I got into the wreck so that was great).
I’m currently working on finding a new job because what I’m dealing with now is getting ridiculous and I honestly really want to be on here and talk to you guys and make posts like I used to, but I feel like I can’t anymore because of life and that sucks. Legit, my boss is making me work 35 hours this week (AFTER MY CAR WRECK 😑) even though she knows what I’m dealing with right now and knows how overworked I am. She had the nerve to say “I don’t want to overwork you” as she adjusted my schedule for the 3rd time because someone who is CONSTANTLY calling out in the store (and they refuse to fire her for some reason AND there’s another employee that’s going to be out all month) can’t come to work for the rest of this week so I have to cover for her. Oh yeah…and you know what else??? I have to train a new employee on top of all of that. I’m not a manager. I’m not even full time. I don’t get vacation time or sick days or paid holidays (even though we literally only get 2 holidays off and that’s Christmas Day and Thanksgiving Day, so not that it even matters anyways) or any kind of benefits. And I don’t get paid extra for training new hires. It’s ridiculous. My boss even asked if I felt comfortable training a new employee after what I’ve gone through with the wreck and how stressed I am (which I respect) and I told her no because I really am dealing with a lot and don’t need the stress of training someone on top of that, yet here I am so…I’m just tired of being a doormat for this company and letting them treat me like a workhorse. It was fine at first because I needed the money (and I still do), but the lack of sympathy after the wreck and being so overworked and stressed that I became physically ill is concerning and I think it’s a sign that I need to move on and find something else.
So yeah, sorry for the rant there but I just wanted to share what I’m dealing with and what I’m going through. Like, I still have stuff at home I have to deal with too and financial issues (and getting in a car wreck certainly doesn’t help that at all), so yeah. I have an interview tomorrow for a job that would really be beneficial to me and would be a perfect fit for me and I’m really hoping and praying I get the job because it’s would just help me so much and it’s such a good job!
Anyways, I know I share updates a lot, but I realized I haven’t really been active on here and I just wanted to share why and kinda release some tension because I’m really going through it lol.
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buddieswhvre · 1 day
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Requested by @buddiesmutslut here's number 9 the lawyer Eddie and innocent Buck fic! I tried my best to make things clear but still keep the air of suspense lol. Also, yes Buck is going through it right now.
Tick, tock, tick, tock, the hands of the clock continued moving but Buck was frozen still. This was a warning, this should be a warning, right? He may act as if he wasn't scared but in reality, he was losing his goddamn mind. Coming home to his place being absolutely trashed was a big wake-up call. He needs to stop this. Yes, his loft wasn't his home, never was, but still, it was a place that gave him shelter for so long, and seeing it like this was painful.
There was a time when he was his own person, and had no one who could suffer the consequences of his actions but now it was different. He had Bobby, Chimney, Hen, and Eddie, oh my god Eddie.
It was as if Eddie had some special power when it came to Buck and suddenly his loft opened to reveal Eddie.
“Hey so Bobby was doing some research and I think-”
“I'm withdrawing the case.” Eddie looked at him as if Buck had lost his mind but in reality, today was the first time ever since this all started that he was really thinking.
“What are you talking about and why are you cleaning the loft?” Buck needed the previous Eddie who didn't care about him so much. He needed him to ask less questions and do what he was asked to.
“Because it doesn't matter. It's not like I can practice after this so why even bother?” Some time ago they were standing at the exact place where Buck screamed about how important his job was to him and how he needed Eddie to trust him and today at the same place he's asking, no begging Eddie to leave him alone.
“Buck-”
“No Eddie, maybe I deserved it. I mean it was my fault, right? I took an oath to save people and I couldn't so maybe I do deserve it. Or what do you know, maybe I did kill him? Maybe-”
“Buck! If there's one thing I know about you is that you'd never hurt anyone on purpose-”
“What do you even know about me? Nothing. I just want you-” Buck needed Eddie to just go away. If Eddie said anything else Buck would completely break down and tell him everything that happened. And that's what Buck didn't want. He didn't want Eddie to put himself and in turn Chris in more danger because of Buck.
“I know how you act like you like dark coffee when your favorite is oat milk vanilla frappuccino. I know how you feel bad for killing a moth, a literal moth because it did nothing wrong. I know how you give your whole heart for someone without anything in return because that's how selfless you are, Buck. So yeah, I know you. I know you to the core and that's how I know that something is wrong.” One side of Buck wanted to cry in front of Eddie after everything he just said. There was finally someone who saw his whole existence and still thought he was worthy of something and yet he couldn't.
Christopher, the absolute treasure of his life would be in danger and Buck would literally walk through fire alone if it kept Chris safe. And if the fire was Eddie's disappointment and hurt, then so be it.
“Eddie, I want to withdraw the case”
Tags: @smilingbuckley @wikiangela @theotherbuckley @cinematics123 @honestlydarkprincess @cal-daisies-and-briars
Please let me know if you'd like to be added or removed🩷
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topaztimes · 2 days
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Hi this is a vent post! Continue scrolling if you'd rather not see that
#Giving time...#Still more time...#Wouldn't want to plague any previews#Maybe another filler. Just for some fun#Is this enough?#It certainly is now#Alright start:#I'm so bored. I am so incredibly; intrinsically; entirely bored. I have been taught the same thing for four years straight#'It's only four years!' that's literally a quarter of my lifetime right there. My formative years are being spent stressed and in a state /#/of constant self-loathing#I was watching a YT video and the phrase 'attention-starved STEM major' came up and I was like. Yea#What am I even working towards? The hope that my version of capitalist hell isn't as bad as everyone else's? I'm just so sick of not /#/having a stable future what with politics and normal working people becoming more and more oppressed#I don't want to work and that's not because I'm lazy. It's because my brain is recognising that there is no reward anymore#I used to have such a little spark in Yr7. I remember having things to say and wanting to share everything I've done#I still do that now; sure I do. I don't enjoy it though#I thought I liked drawing but I'm realising that all I really like is the attention. I COULD draw things I like drawing... but then I /#/ don't get attention which my mind then classifies as zero reward#I'm very tired of doing things for no credit; reward; or validation. This is becoming a theme#Then I wonder what I'm doing wrong. What part of the algorithm am I not hitting. Then I realise that I'm just not marketable in a way#God. I'm seriously breaking rn. It's not even only because of GCSEs#It's just a culmination of doing all these things to be told that I am unworthy of Having as a result. It doesn't matter if I'm smart; my /#/ parents still don't own their house and can't afford to pay for heating most days#Literally what am I doing this for#And then I realise that all of this is ALSO attention-seeking behaviour! I'm my own worst problem; I recognise exactly what's wrong with /#/ myself but the body wants what it wants. And what it wants is validation that I'm not going to get in this life#Hi guys! Maybe don't interact. That could fix me#Wean me off of needing virtual numbers just to feel something. Jesus#I can't even be happy with the things that I make for myself. Because I make nothing for myself anymore#It's just a whole sad existence of an expected 12hr+ of school every day until I get a job I guess. Then it's 12hr+ of job every day until
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vairiance · 1 year
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I really think Pokemon should go back to 2D. Not even necessarily like HD 2D or whatever like Octopath Traveler (although that'd be cool I guess), but just what they had going in Gen 4/5, but polished up to modern tech standards.
So much charm was lost in the shift to 3D (not without benefit, of course, but still), and it brought a whole host of space issues, all in the name of making Pokemon look less appealing and having awkward movements. Like, compare these images of Hippowdon:
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Leftmost is Gen 5, middle is modern, and rightmost is the (leaked) sprite from S/V.
Gen 5's is awesome! Grainy, obviously, by design, but otherwise it's super cool. You see a fierce looking hippo, posed threateningly, spewing sand to demonstrate its signature mechanic. Perfect.
Modern Hippowdon makes me sad. It's still kind of grainy (beyond what the resolution change of this image did to it), and it just looks like me on a Monday morning. You'd have no idea that this thing shoots sand, and you'd only get to see it look cool for a fraction of a second when it attacks, sometimes.
Then there's S/V Hippowdon. It's just a menu sprite icon, but look how clean it looks compared to modern Hippowdon! Imagine the Gen 5 Hippowdon pose, with the SV Hippowdon style. That'd be ideal for me I think.
3D has its benefits for sure, obviously, but I think 3D should be saved for spinoffs where a smaller scale can be enforced, and thus more care can be put into what is in the game. Comparing the 3D animations of Pokemon Colosseum/XD and what we have now proves this; in the Orre games, the Pokemon really feel alive, because they move in a way natural to what you'd expect, whereas in the modern era, everyone stands there idly and twitches once in a while to attack or get hit.
Move animations suffer as well. Let's compare the animation of Earthquake, a move that's supposed to be a terrifying massive quake of the earth. Here's how it's depicted in Gen 4:
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Pretty cool, right? The magnitude of the quake is shown by literally everything shaking violently, with some dramatic flashes and rock effects. Not bad. But this could really benefit from 3D, let's take a look at how a powerful explosion of the earth is shown with the cutting edge graphics of Gen 8:
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It is what would be considered a god awful green screen effect if seen in a movie.
Sure, but how much better could a 3D Earthquake animation be? Well, let's turn to the love of my life, Pokemon XD, to see how it's done:
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Look, maybe you disagree with my assessment of these images, and that's fine. But I strongly encourage you to go back and play, say, Emerald, or Platinum, or what have you, if you haven't recently. You'll be able to palpably feel the difference between it and the newer games, and the visuals are just the surface of this. They're just what tends to come to mind whenever I think about it.
Idk I just miss when Pokemon games were delivered as strong single player games with multiplayer capabilities meant to last a decent while and then be put down, and returned to in a few years when you're feeling wistful, as opposed to increasingly lightweight multiplayer focused games with increasingly less single player endgame content so that they can push subscriptions of the god awful online pass
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tabzanite · 1 year
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sometimes it genuinely escapes me that i have an identity that no one else has
i am me, yknow
#When you take an original character and slap on a new race or feature of identity to them you're saying you cant make an original characte#character with that kind of value.#like sometimes i forgot not everyone else is bengali American and when i find another one out in the wild its like#woah.... woah hi#and then it really like hits me yknow#cuz i can be as homo as i want. its easy to find others#but to find a bengali person with similar interests to me? i don't have that#aint even gotta be bengali. love my pakistani and indian siblings#and ig seein velma doin the race swappy thing#at first i was like “bro does it really matter all that much man like its a shit show stop getting angry over it” i was#honestly treating it lik rage bait lmaooo i still dont think its fully processed its not#but then i saw another bengali dude talk about it. like actually talk about it#and then it hit me like. i am south asian. this velma is south asian.#but is she actually? is this character I am seeing right now#is this what people see when they learn i am brown? is this what they imagine? is this an actual brown women?#and the answer is no. maybe if it was mindy kaling then yes it would be#now i cant say race swapping makes me angry. i don't care bro#literally its so much more EFFORT to care and why should i it'll all die down when its over#hate watching does nothing but fuel the things you dislike#but ig i rlly like sat down and thought about it. like rlly think about it#this character. even if the original ip WAS south asian. or even if this was an original character#its not perpetuating what its like. no no no not at all#its just putting the label on#making it known and#i dont know man i never expected stuff like this to irk me#i saw the guy i watch say this that stuck with me#smthn like that#and idk man#sorry for the rant but FUUUUUCK its hit me my identity is my identity
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cats-in-the-clouds · 1 year
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it’s important to try very hard to be as patient and understanding and reasonable as possible and i tell myself aw c’mon how hard can it really be to just chill out and be nice? but every now and it hits me again how we’re all being subjected to a mass gaslighting campaign and then i’m like ah that’s why i’m exhausted deep in my soul all the time. i’m being made to think i’m utterly insane for wanting words to have actual meanings so maybe that makes me a bit cranky y’know
#there really is just an attack on the art of human communication going on right now huh#man it’s so much easier talking to people about literally anything else other than transgenderism#even if it were the most controversial; vitriol-filled topic in the world#nothing compares to the exhaustion of going back and forth with a person because the two of you have different definitions of basic words#the exhaustion of you trying to use pronouns that the basic rules of the english language call for#becetse you paid attention in first grade#but being instantly shut down for it because no matter how hard you argue they do not care if you’re right#you get slammed for being ‘disrespectful’ as if they have a real definition of that word either#like you can’t even converse with someone else like that if the basic parts of the language are something that can’t be agreed on#but neither of you can even concede and agree to the other’s terms because that undercuts the point of the argument#it is a war over language itself and that sure does make communication with those on the opposite side impossible#like in other cases conceding and agreeing to use a specific word in conversation is totally fine and easy#i have no problem saying ‘fetus’ as opposed to ‘baby’ because those terms aren’t mutually exclusive to me. it’s fine#but i can’t say ‘trans woman’ when the correct term is man#i refuse to act like ‘transgender’ is just another simple adjective#as opposed to a buzzword that indicates that the following word is actually the opposite of whatever it says#it’s very tiring having to read through a message written in this kind of opposites day code and have to translate it to yourself first#but i’ll do it idc i’m not giving an inch
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milo-is-rambling · 4 months
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Me vs outlining a perfect plan for my day in my head which I can be the only one allowed to change the schedule vs my mom asking me to do 2 simple tasks
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#she was like hey can you take the trash out I was like ughhhh okay yeah give me a min (I was still ordering weed)#my mom less than a minute later : hey if you want to break down all the cardboard out there I’d appreciate it Me: actually I’d rather not I#was about to shower right after I put this weed order in#then she gets all pissed at me bc I never do what she asks and blah blah blah blah blah#like. girl. I know she can’t see in my brain but I was not awake last night watching cleaning videos and psyching myself up for a day full#of cleaning my room and showering and doing laundry and cleaning funks cage and doobs cage and making my bed and dusting my ceiling fan and#taking apart my box fan to clean it and cleaning the water pitcher in the fridge and deep cleaning#like GAH I HAVE SO MANY PLANS TODAY WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DO NOTHING AND JUST SIT ON MY ASS SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP#ripping my hair out and screaming banging my fists on the floor#I literally was like yeah I’ll take the trash out no I will not break down boxes right now and she went off on a whole fucking thing like#just shut up.#I hate it. why do I make plans in my head of the exact order I have to do things and if one person suggest doing anything differently or#pushing my schedule back further than I wanted to myself I get so annoyed I explode into a ball of flames#I wanted to shower dry off pick up weed let out funk refill the humidifier clean the bathroom mirrors throw sort and clean the bathroom#shelves sweep start a load of laundry clean off my desk which means cleaning and organizing my closet or my desk dresser thing to fit the#crap on my desk and I have to clean and reorganize the space next to my desk so I can fit my boombox there bc the humidifier took its place#next to funk and like I want to just cry why does everything have to be so fucking difficult for me why is everything simple for everyone#else and for me every simple task is composed of one million baby tasks that I have to do in the correct order forever or everyone around m#will think I’m stupid and dumb forever like WHAT THE HELL WHY IS IT SO EASY FOR EVERYONE ELSE IN MY LIFE WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU JUST DO THING#IN WHATEVER ORDER AND IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT DO YOU MEAN A 20 MINUTE SETBACK DOESNT COMPLETELY RUIN YOUR DAY#AHHHHHHHHHH I WANT TO RIP MY HAIR OUT#BUT INSTEAD. I WILL GO TAKE THE TRASH OUT. AND NOT BREAK DOWN THE CARDBOARD BC THAT MEANS GETTING MY KNIFE AND MY HEADPHONES AND PUTTING MO#CLOTHES ON WHICH IS COUNTERINTUITIVE#TO THE WHOLE ABOUT TO TAKE A SHOWER THING#UGHHHHHHH#I am the worst human on the planet and I deserve infinite suffering#fuck this whole thing I’m pissed I’m gonna listen to music and rage clean after I pick up weed and shower
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arthropooda · 10 months
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I could probably stream of consciousness complain about my mother and get to 50,000 words in one day
#It is just every single thing about living here#The most immediate current annoyance is that she spends almost all her awake time in the house in the kitchen#Cooking stuff she won't even eat most of#Stopping me from actually using the kitchen or eating anything#Like she's trying to make me so desperate that I want to eat her nasty cat hair leftovers#She puts food in as many containers as possible just only food on the very bottom#She leaves the lid off everything while cooking and while 'letting it cool' in all these little containers#Maximum surface area for cat hair#And besides that half of it is not even good like at all#She tries to make me eat constantly and then go to the gym every single day#I literally cannot get anything done unless she's not in the house#She never wants me to be in my room but also doesn't want my stuff anywhere else#She starts fucking talking to me from the other end of the house like anybody could possibly hear that#She calls me almost every time I am in the bathroom#She just wants me to sit around and listen to her talk indefinitely#She fucking grabs me constantly and moves my stuff whenever she wants#Literally doesn't matter what I do she will either ignore it or be upset if I have a problem with anything#Amazingly I am seeing so many similarities between her and my spouse right now#Any random complaining to invalidate my own consistent feelings#It is just as bad as when I was literally a child so I know it had nothing to do with being a child either or being immature etc
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neo-nomatrix · 4 months
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In a world of boys, he’s a gentleman
Luke Castellan x Apollo kid!reader
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word count: a little over 1k
summary: you’ve had your heart broken many times, maybe the Hermes boy will be different
You have only ever wanted to be loved. For whatever reason you haven’t had much luck. Sure, there were many guys.
Callum from Ares. The only thing hotter than him was his temper.
Ryan from Hephaestus. He would forge copper to make you jewelry, little did you know three other girls had the same gift.
Ezra from Athena. Always thought he was so much smarter and better than you. Made you want to shoot your arrow straight at him.
Aiden from Hermes. A liar who couldn’t take anything seriously.
Elliott from Ares. Was dared by Callum to lock you in a dark room. And he actually listened.
Being the child of Apollo had its perks, but it more often had downsides. Your least favorite being your ability to fall in love so easily. After Elliot you swore off falling in love. A pain even you couldn’t heal. You couldn’t understand why nothing seemed to work out for you, you were a dreamboat!
A beautiful daughter of Apollo who glowed like the sun. Not only were you his daughter, you were his favorite, the hundreds of freckles on your face proved it. You were kind and generous, always willing to take in an injured camper from dusk to dawn. Your smile quite literally lit up a room. Perhaps you were too nice? Maybe they thought they could take advantage of your kindness?
Whatever the reason was doesn’t matter. You decided to take a page from your aunt Artemis’ book. No more boys, no more falling in love. Things will be easier this way. You know it.
You should’ve been at the bonfire with everyone else. You chose to skip it tonight because you wished to be alone, at the archery range. Maybe you’d earn another freckle if Apollo saw you practicing your already perfect shot. Luke should’ve been at the bonfire too, singing with your half-siblings and roasting marshmallows.
“Hey! I need some help!” A deep, painful cry said.
Immediately worried, you turned around and saw Luke Castellan holding his abdomen. You immediately run over to him, taking his arm over yours and getting to your cabin as soon as possible. You decided the infirmary was too far and you could use the cot in your cabin.
You slam through the cabin door and lay him on the cot in the middle of the bunk beds. “Lay down.”
You pull up his blood stained orange shirt to reveal a large gash on the side of his toned stomach. You held your hand on his abdomen for a moment to assess what happened. A second degree burn and large slices, as if by a horn, caused this.
“How did this happen?” You ask as you start to transfer some of the pain to a potted plant, causing it to wilt.
“Accident with a hephaestus kid, wrong place, wrong time I guess,” He says slightly wincing.
“I can take most of the pain but it’ll still take a while to heal,” You explain.
“Weren’t you supposed to be at the bonfire, leading a song with the rest of your cabin?” He asks.
“I could ask you the same thing, wandering around the blacksmiths. You know those things they make are pretty hot right?” You scoff at him.
“Yeah I guess I do now,” he rolls his eyes.
You begin to bandage the wound and give him a slice of bread. “Bread? What the hell is this gonna do?” he questions.
“My sister Melody made it, it can heal the burns for the most part,” you say.
“Aren’t you the girl who dated Aiden?” He asks bluntly, taking a bite of the bread.
“That’s none of your business,” You roll your eyes.
“If you ask me-” he begins to say before you cut him off.
“I’m not.”
“He was an idiot. All those guys were. I mean seriously, didn’t anyone teach them how to treat a pretty girl?” He continues, not fazed by you interrupting him.
“All those guys? You know about them?” You question.
“I guess. I mean after word got out about that shithead Elliot I did some asking,” he shrugs. You frown at the mention of Elliot.
“Whatever, they’re all in the past. No more guys for me,” you tell him.
“You shouldn’t give up entirely, these guys are stupid. There’s someone out there who deserves you, trust,” He assures you.
“Oh yeah? Tell me when you meet him,” You laugh.
“I think i know a guy, actually,” He responds, sitting up slightly.
“Oh yeah? Do tell.”
“Well, he’s tall, tan, and goddamn gorgeous. Has these soft brown curls, and I heard he’s the best swordsman at camp. Perfect for the best archer,” He explains to you, smiling.
“You seem to be fond of him, maybe you should go date him,” You joke.
“Nah, I think he likes this girl from Apollo. Kind, generous, beautiful, best healer and archer around,” He locks eyes with yours, darting between your eyes and your lips.
He holds your face in his hand, circling his thumb. His shirt rides up exposing his stomach and bandages.
“You like what you see?” He teases.
“You’re an idiot,” You smile.
“That seems to be your type,” he shrugs and knits his brows.
Before you can say another word he presses a kiss against your lips, moving them softly against yours. One of his hands stays on your neck while the other ventures down to your waist and then the chair you sat in. He pulls the chair closer to him and puts his hand back on your waist. You move one of your hands to his knee and the other to right beside him, leaning in closer.
“Fuck, you’re amazing,” He’s whispers into the kiss.
You smile at him before pausing. “The bonfire’s almost over, maybe you should head back,” you say.
“Yeah probably,” he gives you one last hard kiss followed by another few pecks.
He stands up and steadys himself, the injury clearly still pains him. He starts to walk away but before he can leave he turns back to you and presses a few more kisses against you.
“Okay, I’m done. y’know for now,” he smirks.
“You’re welcome anytime,” You laugh and he leaves. He gives you two looks before exiting.
Maybe you’ll give this boy one more chance.
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