#literally pulsate with stress. i started watching a c drama

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#hhhhhh ive been teetering on the edge of some sort of breakdown this week... this month #but like yesterday i was so physically and emotionally exhausted i stopped functioning at like 6 but bc sleep makes me #literally pulsate with stress. i started watching a c drama #and today i just went: fuck whatever im supposed to do and streight up watched 22 episodes #it wasnt even fun. just really stressful #and now im just procrastinating drawing a thing that i really want to draw and im just so tired #so im gonna write out what i need to get done and it will happen. it will #ill actually get sleep tonight. in the morning ill go to the lab and move stuff around on the computer #then ill go home. eat breakfast. and spend the rest of the day drawing algae #i will draw a rainbow of algae. its gonna happen #then sunday ill do some coding and write some stuff for my manuscript #and maybe write some for this other stupid thing #ive just gotta make up for the lack of productivity bc Wednesday i destroyed my brain and it has yet to recover #uuuugh its so annoying. brain!! just do things!!! #this is what happens when i get bored. i engage in self destructive neglect and everything starts spinning out #stop that. y must we do this? not fun