The Seven Stages of James Potter Falling in Love with his Best Friend's Brother.
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Stage 1: Oblivious.
James is oblivious to his feelings for Reg.
He goes about his day as though nothing's changed, because for him it really hasn't.
If you look close enough though, you'll see the slight shift in James' posture, always subtly tilted in Regulus' direction.
Or the way he stares a fraction of a second too long, but mostly when he's lost in thought, so it really doesn't mean much.
James now talks a bit more animatedly around Regulus, he'd always been kinda nervous talking to him, afraid of scaring him off. But they've gotten a bit closer and James can't wait to get to know him better.
James and Regulus are becoming good friends, and James seems overjoyed by that fact.
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Stage 2: Denial.
James realises that maybe he has been acting a bit different towards Reg recently, but he doesn't see anything wrong with that.
They started bonding over Sirius, over what it's like being a brother to him. Surely that's not a negative thing?
James doesn't think it's bad they've gotten closer, or that they'll stay up late into the night on the astronomy tower so Reg could show him constellations and they could talk about their favorite things.
They were just trying to get along, just like Sirius hoped they would.
So what if he started sitting a little closer to him than everyone else? It was just easier to talk that way, that's all.
And yes, it's completely normal to be fascinated by the way your best friend's brother's eyes catch the sunlight and turn the most beautiful color you've ever seen.
But James has always loved the color of people's eyes, he probably gave Remus more compliments on his eyes than anything else.
Maybe James looks to him automatically every time they're laughing in a group.
And maybe that's because he spends the majority of his time waiting to hear that laugh again.
But who doesn't? His laugh is contagious, it brightens up the room instantly. Of course James would be excited to hear it. That's totally normal.
Yeah, James ditched quidditch practice, (something he had never, ever, done before) to hang out with him. But that's only because they hadn't talked at all that day, it would have been rude not to.
James and Reg are closer than ever, and there's no reason at all James should be worried about that, right?
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Stage 3: Avoidance.
James started liking Reg a little too much, and the thought terrifies him.
He decides to keep his distance a little, wait for his feelings to sort themselves out. He could go without talking to Regulus every minute of the day, couldn't he?
Whenever Reg would go to sit next to him James would panic, muttering something about an essay due later that week and jumping up from the couch.
Every casual touch sent shocks through him, it got to the point where James would stay at least a meter away at all times.
Sure, the distance was a little awkward, and Regulus' expression when he'd jerked away from his touch felt like a knife to his chest, but it was for the best, wasn't it?
James was way too interested, and he knew he shouldn't care as much as he did.
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Stage 4: Anger.
James gave up avoiding him, he couldn't live in a world without Reg, but that doesn't mean he wasn't angry about it.
He should have never developed feelings in the first place. This was Sirius' brother. That is against so many rules.
He hated himself, spiraling in guilt and rage and all things torment.
It made it worse that Reg was always there to comfort him.
And even more so that he desperately needed it.
James and Reg could never be together, he was furious with himself for ever falling for him.
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Stage 5: Depression.
After a while, he lost the energy to be angry anymore. He was so sad. He didn't want to have to fight his feelings for Regulus, he wished something was different, anything.
Regulus was so kind to him, showing a softer side of himself nobody else got to see. It made James' heart skip a beat, the way he touched James' cheek, reminding him to breathe.
James laid awake most nights crying, he wanted to be with him so badly it physically hurt. But he knew he could never betray Sirius like that.
So every touch was like a knife to his chest, every calming whisper an open wound. Regulus was dangerous to be around, but James would take the pain a hundred times over before he ever left.
James and Reg can never be together, the thought broke James' heart a little each time.
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Stage 6: Acceptance.
James was in love with Regulus. It was a fact, as simple as that.
He loved him with every piece of his soul, he knew they could never be together, knew that it would take moving mountains and earth itself to get Reg to ever like him back, but he didn't have a choice.
He was unwillingly, unrequitedly, and so impossibly in love with Regulus, and nothing was going to change that.
The touches weren't so painful anymore, they were a part of his day just as much as breathing was, he laughed louder than he ever had, smiled brighter, looked deeper, it was Reg. Reg made him whole, made him alive.
So he could never be with him, so he would always be the background in Reg's story, he could be okay with that as long as he was near.
James knows they can never be together, knows Reg will never like him back, but he can't help falling for him anyways.
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Stage 7: Love.
By a miracle James will never fathom, Regulus told him he loved him. Like... he loved him.
Regulus confessed his feelings as they lay on their blankets in the astronomy tower, watching the stars twinkle in the night sky.
James felt so many things at once, hope, fear, excitement, confusion. He was terrified, terrified of what that meant for them. He was so, so happy, happy that he lived in a world where Reg loved him too.
They started dating in secret, they snuck off to that tower every night, holding each other under those same stars. James found his hand fit perfectly in Regulus', and Regulus' head fit perfectly in the little space between his neck and shoulder.
They were made for each other, in every way physically possible they were so entirely perfect.
James knew he needed to tell Sirius, not only out of the guilt, but because he was so happy, and Sirius was always the one he went to first with good news.
Reg and James made promises of forever underneath those stars, and neither of them could ever imagine spending their life any other way.
James and Regulus are madly in love and there is nothing anyone can do about it.
And, if James is being honest, he's never been happier.
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