#literally the only thing that prevents me from acting on one emotion is a different stronger one

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Propaganda for Sergey Razumovsky and Oleg Volkov (Major Grom comics)

I picked "implied" but I'm gonna be straight (haha) with you, if they were officially canon everyone involved in the making of this book would be at least fined out of business. It's from a russian publisher, they're doing their best but they also don't want to go to prison over fictional characters. They're as canon as they can be though, and have been since the 2010s. Anyway Sergey and Oleg are always together, they're basically a single unit and when they're separated it's almost always because something bad is happening to them. For the entirety of Plague Doctor they act like a married couple. They literally live together in an apartment that only has one bed and fuss over each other and flirt with each other. In Major Grom (their first appearances) Sergey was the villain to Grom's hero, and Oleg was his childhood friend / current head henchman, but after some (a lot) of plot happening they agreed that they're actually equal partners (in a conversation that sounded more romantic than some actual kisses). One of their most important plot points is that Oleg is as important to Sergey as Grom's girlfriend is to Grom. Literally that was on the page. They had a one-shot issue that was about them taking a trip to Mexico, which in comic book imagery pretty much always means a honeymoon. Idk, you tell me if that's implied or canon. Technically they're murderers / terrorists but the Plague Doctor comic book (their own spin-off! woohoo!) is pretty much all about them raising a younger woman to take up the mantle of the titular vigilante plague doctor because they're retired from that. Which doesn't prevent them from getting into bloody fights, mostly for each other. Sergey loves his knives and Oleg is very proficient with every weapon, and even when they're not physically in the fight they stay together to make sure nothing goes too wrong. After a spousal abduction and spousal rescue arc they now have matching scars. The artists / writers regularity spend a page or two or three just focusing on them fighting in synch. They literally fight back to back many times, because it's more safe and efficient and they trust each other like that. A couple in work in life and in battle. Also the artist who pretty much defined their entire characters drew a lot of fanart of them, which I'm aware doesn't really count as canon, but. Well.

They sleep in the same bed. When Sergey is working on his computer and worrying too much Oleg makes him a meal. The things Oleg does for Sergey include breaking him out of prison, kidnapping and/or killing people, training someone to be the next Plague Doctor, even dying for him. It looks like a very unbalanced relationship to some other characters but those characters don't really know them. There was an entire arc that was mostly about Sergey being willing and ready to risk everything (his recent comfortable anonymity, his long-term project, even his sanity) to go save Oleg. At a time when he thought Oleg was dead Sergey agreed to let a god take control of him and effectively erase his own existence. It didn't work ultimately but it still happened. Their post-injuries "oh god I thought you were dead I'm so glad you're mostly alright" hug was the most emotional scene in the entire series. They're not doing physical fighting so often in this comic book because while they're main characters the actual protagonist is the girl they're training to be the new Plague Doctor, but they're always working together behind the scenes, and when they do fight it's a feast for the eyes (very violent and bloody). They have different weapons because Sergey just loves knives and Oleg is much more pragmatic so he mostly uses guns when he's at liberty of choosing his weapons, but they work extremely seamlessly together. If the publisher wasn't in Russia they'd be wearing matching wedding bands for years.

3. i think the reason they're not currently wanted by multiple countries is because they're still presumed dead. they're officially criminals, maybe terrorists? sergey began his criminal career by killing the corrupt rich, so then of course the publisher had to make some late changes to the story and his motivations to make him less likable. i don't think they really managed it. he's most people's favorite character from that comic book, i'm pretty sure that's why they gave him a spin-off years later. oleg is an even later addition (actually just an arc or two later), because they needed sergey (the villain) to have someone who would be a parallel to the hero's girlfriend. so they introduced his childhood bff / kinda estranged best friend / worried right hand man to fill that role. they made him a scary mercenary with experience from the special forces and he's ready to kill anyone who needs to die for sergey's plan. sergey can also stop him anywhen too. they weren't really equal in their first arc together, because sergey was going through a lot and his alter didn't like oleg and was always bossing him around, but since then they both went through A Lot More and talked a lot and made things between themselves clearer. they're equal partners, for better and for worse. sergey once killed over a dozen of mercenaries just with a knife and a wire, because someone had kidnapped oleg as a trap for sergey and he knew it and still went there to save oleg. they're fighting for the same things, together, and sometimes it's literal and they go kill people with guns and knives, sometimes separately but more often together. their canonicity is… it's complicated. i think you'd consider sergey and oleg canon if you consider the guys from good omens to be canon. * like there's no i love yous, no kisses, or maybe just not yet, who knows, but it's still evident that they care so much about each other and only have eyes for each other. except in this case i'd even say they're more canon because there's no yearning or will-they-won't-they anymore, they're just together since their childhood or teenage years, they have no problem talking or touching or holding each other or living together.

*Mod note - This was submitted before season 2 of Good Omens came out.

#coupleganda masterposts #major grom #bubble comics #oleg volkov #sergey razumovsky #serovolk #i HOPE i'm tagging this correctly i do Not know anything abt this franchise #these guys seem great though #congrats on the murders and basically-marriage

[dragons-homebrew-hoard]

A general reminder to gms to never turn a recurring or tag along npc into a plot device as your players will notice and it will piss them off (rant incoming)

The last dnd game I was in as a player I wound up leaving due to this exact thing. My character’s whole deal was protecting and caring for a child npc that shared their tragic backstory. Unfortunately for me, this npc became the gm’s favorite new toy and not only did they make this npc more powerful than every one of the players and more intelligent than all of us, the dm used them to facilitate literally almost every plot point from the moment I joined the team.

I spent so much in game time dealing with this npc’s bullshit that I barely had any time to actually get to know the other characters or make any meaningful bonds with them. This npc was constantly dragging me away from them and derailing the story because the gm used them like a carrot on a string to create drama. I don’t even know what our goal as a party was other than collect the macguffin and take down the government because every plot after I joined revolved around finding this npc because they ran off or protecting them from their own idiocy or having a crisis because this npc wants to kill themself.

I cannot describe to you how annoying it was walking into every session expecting this npc to act in any consistent way. One session they would be moping about how they don’t belong in this world because they are too smart for their own good and the next they are being manipulated and kidnapped like a normal 5 year old by someone plot convenient so the party gains plot relevant information. One session they don’t want to use their insane power because it’s too much and the next they want to practice by torturing people and animals and the next they leave the fortified base to go flower picking to drag the party to learn more plot relevant information. Every single session I was dealing with an entirely different character whose levels of intelligence and emotional maturity changed on a dime to suite the gm’s needs. It was exhausting and this on top of a few other things made me leave the group.

If a player hands you something like this, show some restraint. Please. Especially right after they join the crew. I’d say restraint is one of the most important aspect of being a story teller in general.

I gave this gm two big red buttons with my character and they pushed both of them immediately. The dm brought in my characters personal antagonist session 2, before I had any kind of bond with the crew and was at the point where when I had the option to have my character lose their memories of this antagonist I took it just to remove that button because I could immediately tell this gm has zero restraint.

I talked with the dm out of session and asked them to tone it back because ever since I joined literally every single plot had my character at the center and she kept pushing me/my character to drastic measures that were preventing my from actually interacting with the rest of the crew or even learning what our goals were. For fuck sake I removed my character’s memories of their antagonist because they were nearing the point of saying fuck it and leaving the group just to escape this person.

Did the gm listen? No. Not only did they continue dragging my character’s antagonist into the plot, they kept using this npc to create drama and push the plot forwards in inorganic way.

If you have to use an npc as a plot device, then at least keep their characterization consistent. If story is the main focus of this campaign, it’s like watching the gm reach into the game and tell you directly: hey, hey, players, go here for plot. It breaks the immersion. If it happens on occasion, that’s fine it’s bound to happen eventually. But when it’s happening every session… oh boy is it extremely annoying and hits one of my biggest pet peeves in writing: seeing the hand of the author. There are a million ways to make a plot hook feel in congruence with the story and the world. If you need to take an npc out of character to make it happen, your players will notice.

Tldr. If you are running a long form campaign- use restraint. I promise you that holding back and waiting to push the big red buttons your players give you will be so much more rewarding for everyone if you wait. Don’t force the story. Let it breathe.

#thoughts I fall asleep to #it’s 5 am #I’ve been awake since 3 #I keep think about this so blah #out it comes #maybe I can get some sleep now

[koogl001]

Headcanon that Wammu and Santana definitely caught some nice emotions (in a cute way) and they must have literally had stars in their eyes. Wammu and Santana (both at once or one at a time) could fawn over been petting a busy reader who was not paying attention to them due to their busyness. So when the reader, without looking, stroked the men on the head and cheek, calling them good boys (imagine, Santana on the head between his cute horns), the men froze and literally blurted out into a puddle, because they had not yet received such praise.

One-shots and HCs Masterlist

Wamuu 

When you entered his life, Wamuu was apprehensive at first 

What are these feelings he was experiencing? He had no idea 

His strict upbringing didn't allow him to feel much of anything, especially when it came to emotions 

The only things he felt were loyalty to his superiors, pride in his abilities and excitement from a good fight 

To his lords, he was nothing special but to you, he was extraordinary 

His height, his body composition and ability to change it however he pleased, his quick regeneration, his strength, his strange wind powers and so on 

His very being intrigued you to no end 

He was very helpful when you were first abducted and forced into being the bargaining chip for the Red Stone of Aja 

From necessities such as clothes to things to please you, like flowers or things that could aid you in spending your free time more pleasantly (like books, painting supplies, etc.) 

Being the polite person you are, you never forgot to thank the gentle giant 

This was something new to him, his acts being appreciated was strangely comforting 

In no time, he started helping you with whatever you did 

He especially liked to pass you things that were too high up for you to reach 

Your praise was never ending, working like a drug for him 

He soon started coming to you every day, boasting pridefully about anything and everything he did, silently demanding your admiration, seeing as he never got any from Kars nor Esidisi 

“Little human, today the great Wamuu once more won in a spectacular battle” 

He barged in on day, bragging 

Today was different though 

You were currently in the middle of one of the books he provided, completely sucked into the story 

Your non-existent attention towards him led him to lean close to you, so close you could feel his breath on your skin 

You knew why he came; he wanted your praise, it was painfully obvious to you 

Yet what you wanted was to finish your book 

So, in an attempt to shush him, you without paying it any mind, reached your hand towards his head, stroking it gently 

Caressing his defined cheeks, you simply mumbled “Good boy”  

Suddenly, you were on your back with Wamuus’ head snuggled into your chest 

Taken aback, you stiffened but soon realised you were in no danger 

“Little human, praise me more...” 

He purred contently, basking in the warmness of the feelings he felt at that moment 

Santana 

You knew of the secret lab situated near your town as you were friends with some of the employees 

What you didn’t know however, was WHAT exactly they kept there 

In your mind, you had some theories but as your friends were prohibited from talking about it, you never got any confirmations 

Santana has a keen sense of smell, as you probably already know 

Yes, he was now a stone surrounded by lights from every direction that prevented him from awakening once again, but his senses were still with him 

He could differentiate anyone and anything by it 

But the confusion of a new smell mixed in with one of your friends was a novelty 

And being the curious one he is, he loved novelties 

Why was there suddenly a new vague smell attached to one of his observers? 

Where did he acquire this new smell? 

Why was it not there before? 

All of these questions he quickly figured out with his super intelligence, coming to the conclusion that it originated from a new acquittance that the primitive must have been in contact with before coming to work 

The smell was nice, calming even but oh so faint 

There was a power shortage in your city one night, making everything dark and eerie 

For some troublesome, for some scary, but for Santana it was perfect 

His form soon turned from stone to skin 

It didn’t surprise him that these primitives evidently didn’t prepare for the crisis 

Absorbing the guards was relatively easy, even though he was technically only a torso 

Their vision was limited compared to his, making them completely defenceless 

Soon enough, his body was fully back to original  

Now all he needed to do was follow your scent 

When you first saw him, you knew he was no ordinary human 

His height and muscles kind of gave it away 

Seeing his curiosity with pretty much anything he laid his eyes on, he reminded you of an innocent child 

You took pity on him, inviting him into your home 

Even he didn’t anticipate just how extremely easy it would be to get to you 

But for some reason, he didn’t wish to kill you or feed on you 

He never really spoke up on his own, but neither did he refuse to answer your questions, no matter how many there were 

The tragic story of his upbringing nearly brought you to tears, silently promising yourself to give him the love he deserved 

It also explained why he had abandonment issues and why he constantly questioned his worth 

Was he not good enough for Kars? He once asked you 

No, Kars was not good enough for you. You replied 

In order to help with his doubts on his value, you made it a daily occurrence to praise him as much as possible 

Opening a jar? You are so strong! Passing you something from the higher shelf? You are so tall! Disassembling and assembling back your technology, understanding how it worked in the process? You are so smart! 

In your eyes, everything he did was praise worthy 

In his eyes, every praise was worth everything he did for you 

You were awakened at night from a certain pillar man shaking you, showing you an old non-functioning phone that you gave him to tinker with 

But surprise surprise, when he hit the power button, the screen actually lit up  

How he fixed it you had no idea but you had an idea as to why he did so 

He was confused when he didn’t hear your words of admiration, pouting slightly  

You patted the spot next to you on the bed, signalling for him to lay down 

As he did so, in your groggy state you didn’t actually really think about what you did next 

Placing his head on your chest, you stroked him in between his horns gently 

“You’re such a good boy...” 

You whispered, feeling the man go putty in your arms instantly, holding you close around your waist 

In your sleepy state, you almost didn’t register him sighing contently followed by the words “Praise me more...” in a pleading way 

#reader #reader insert #jjba #jojos bizzare adventure #fanfiction #oneshot #fanfic #jjba x reader #jjba part 2 #caesar zeppeli #joseph joestar #kars #esidisi #wamuu #wamuu jojo #jjba wamuu #wamuu x reader #pillar men #lisa lisa #santana #santana x reader #jojo #pillar men x reader #headcanon #request #praise

[littlemisssquiggles]

With the recent episode having been released many shippers are saying this was the proof that Nuts and Dolts was canonized. Via through Ruby’s actions towards Penny’s sword and her speech about her. What are your thoughts on it?

Personally I never saw their relationship as romantic. Their interactions to me have always been things that friends just do. Now if they acted like Blake and Yang I would be more convinced but I just don’t see the romance shippers claim is there with them.

But then again I am aroace so romance is lost on me sometimes, maybe I just don’t understand that aspect but I always valued their friendship more.

Hello there anon-chan.

Speaking for myself here--- while I’ve been fond of the close dynamic between Ruby and Penny in the past, I too share in your opinions of never once perceiving their relationship to be anything more than simply platonic.

Similar to Whiterose, I’ve never one gotten romantic vibes from neither Penny nor Ruby. That’s just never been the nature of their relationship as portrayed in the show.

Penny and Ruby are friends. Heck, I’ll even go as far as to say that Penny was more of a best friend to Ruby than Weiss who was supposed to fit that role.

There is no doubt that Ruby cared deeply about Penny. Ruby was literally the first friend that Penny ever made. Even Penny’s theme that was featured for the first time at the end of V8 was titled “Friend” and was clearly about her friendship with Ruby.

Ruby and Penny are friends and always will be.

Ruby’s expression of her from today’s episode doesn’t change that; at least in my opinion. Penny was someone important to Ruby. Not as a lover or even a crush. Just a very dear friend she clearly loved and has now lost.

And the reason why Penny’s death is deeply affecting Ruby right now in the story is because, for the second time, Penny has been killed while Ruby was far away completely powerless to prevent it from happening.

We already saw how much Penny’s death deeply impacted Ruby the first time based off of what she told Oscar back in V5 and how the imagery of Penny’s murder at the Vytal Festival acted as a mental block to Ruby using her silver eyes on the Leviathan back in V6.

Now it’s happened all over again and unlike the last time, Penny is gone for good this time.

Ruby failed to protect her friend AGAIN! So it’s no surprise that it would eat at her both emotionally and psychologically.

But like with everything else that has happened, Ruby will attempt to bottle her emotions up for the sake of not giving into her unhappiness. Her negative emotions.

What Ruby is feeling right now for Penny is grief. The pain of losing someone who meant something to you.

Yes, Ruby cared a lot for Penny. I’ll go as far as to say that Ruby may have even loved Penny. But that doesn’t signify that Ruby was ever in love with Penny and vice versa. There’s a difference.

Basically what I’m saying in a nutshell is not all forms of love and incredibly deep connections are romantic only. Platonic love exists and that’s what I believe we’re seeing with Nuts and Dolts. Penny was one of Ruby’s most dearest friends so it makes sense for her death to hit her. Doesn’t mean there’s any romantic intentions behind it.

Anyone who thinks otherwise…well, that’s their opinion. And this is mine.

As someone who has become completely exasperated by the nonsensical nature of the shipping wars that go down in the RWBY community, I am sincerely not interested in digging up any dead horses and having debates/arguments with any shippers about the probability of their ship being canon or not. Despite being a romantic and have a gigantic shipping heart myself, I’m just so tired of shipping drama when it comes to RWBY. It’s not fun. It’s just so tiresome to listen to which is why I’ve disconnected myself from it entirely.

That being said, if the Nuts and Dolt shippers wish to claim today’s episode as a so-called “win” for their favourite pairing as they  attempt to cling to any tiny remnants of it, then let them have their fun, I guess.

Bottomline, I don’t see Ruby’s speech about Penny confirming anything. Once more, I think the shippers are merely overexaggerating things to help rationalize their push behind their favourite ship while completely ignoring the actual context of the scene in the show.

To me, Nuts and Dolts is, was and always will be just a really good FRIEND-ship that ended in tragedy.  

Nothing was confirmed (except Penny being the catalyst to Ruby’s eventual emotional breakdown to come later in the season).

Ruby and Penny’s “romance” isn’t canonized at all because their romance never existed to begin with.

Today’s episode does not change that. Ruby’s speech about Penny from today was not a proclamation of romantic love.

Just a girl clearly in pain sharing nothing but sincere words of admiration for her deceased friend while trying to keep things together and not crumble under the weight of how sad and angry she is about that.

It was like listening to Ruby give a eulogy for Penny at the funeral she never got to have rather than a love confession. What about that is romantic?

At least that's how this squiggle meister sees it.

In order to change my stance on this, I would actually need to hear Ruby Rose say in the show that she loved Penny Polendina as more than just a friend and not like family either.

And that’s NOT what happened in today’s episode.

Those are my thoughts on that. Hope I answered your question anon-chan.

~LMS (2023)

#squiggles answers: rwby #rwby volume 9 #rwby volume 9 spoilers

[analyzingadventure]

Took my sweet ass time but I beat Survive! TWICE! Here to give some onions, spoilers be ahead

But TL:DR; Survive good, you should play it if you haven't already

Also apologies in advance, this is gonna be slightly incomprehensible

So my first playthrough was a Harmonious route (my only survivors were Minoru, Aoi and Saki, I'm still not sure if that could've been better but from what I know it couldn't have been worse) and I then did a NG+ as a Truthful route

I do know there might be some interesting shit on the Moral and Wrathful routes (I literally just had to look up what the fuck is up with Pinocchimon who was just casually namedropped and ended up seeing interesting. Things. In the YouTube reccomendations) but right now, I've played a lot of this game and like, I've kind of had my fill for now? Also TOTK is taunting me and calling my name and I can not wait a second longer to play it so two Survive playthroughs is good for now

But to kind of start off with the negatives I have to say about the game, although there is some replayability to it with the different ending variations and whatnot... I dunno, I feel like Toby Fox has ruined varying paths/endings for me, or like. At least risen the bar so high that it's hard for other games to really compare. Of course, to be fair to Survive, it's a much longer game and the visual style makes a lot of it quite same-y, not to mention being a visual novel the focus of the experience is on the story, not combat or puzzles. And it's also a bigger game, in the sense that it has a large cast with voice acting and being a big-ish budget game, they have a larger interest in making sure they don't waste resources making single-use game assets, etc etc The point being, Survive could never do what UT/DR can with storypaths, so demanding it to pull off the same level of replayability isn't fair to it, let alone compare the games (especially when one is almost like a low-budget anime at times). But I can't help but to do so anyway.

Quick minor complaint; the music is good but the OST feels so small that makes the few songs on it feel super repetetive. Althought it might be just because I played through the game twice in a row

My other main negative about the game is that... You know making sure everyone survives (🥁) the game to the very end is so important to the story and the characters? It's a story about surviving (🥁) after all, making it through all the personal, emotional troubles you might have, not letting your fears and doubts consume you and just surviving the hazardous situation you've found yourself in. And that idea, the wish to make sure EVERYONE makes it through and is saved at the end... it doesn't apply to everyone It applies to the humans, it applies to the Digimon who have human partners and it applies to the part-human antagonist who has caused so much of the pain and suffering everyone is going through.

But it doesn't apply to the Digimon.

Yes I'm biased because That's My Blorbo, but I'm sad that the Digimon antagonists were just left to die without Takuma's helping hand never reaching out for them just makes me sad. Like yes, save the Master, the one who has literally consumed the souls of tens of thousands if not millions of humans and Digimon alike, but the Digimon who were actively trying to prevent the destruction of the world and save everyone, nah, they can just die, we don't need to save them, they don't need to survive. And like obviously what Piemon and his crew were doing was wrong, but they didn't know that. They really thought that offering up humans to the Master would spare their world from destruction, and would do anything to do so. But instead of sparing them and/or trying to reach out to them, they all were just. Left to die. Because they don't matter.

Shoutout to Miyuki for trying to convince Piemon he had been fooled (🥁), you tried girl and I love you for the effort.

(This isn't to say Takuma and co are ~evil~, it's just the double standard that bothers me)

(I will say though that it's really funny to think about Takuma kicking Piemon back into the other world would leave him just dying in some ditch by himself, UNLESS Kaito just HAPPENS to walk by him while being in a particularly bad mood)

(Also it's a shame because if Piemon did survive for a day or two even after returning to the other world (before dying of his injuries, never found by anyone and too depressed/frustrated to do anything anymore), like. He wanted to get revenge on the Master for using him. He came to realize that what Miyuki tried to tell him had beenthe truth. What if the kids had found him. What could've happened? It's not like he would've had the motivation nor power to fight them anymore. Like IDK I feel like there's a timeline where Piemon marches into the final battle with his remaining goonies (who are still loyal to him mind you, and fear him) like fucking Aragorn with the army of the dead, trying to hold back the Kenzoku so the kids can go ahead)

Sidenote this is the funniest fucking part in the whole game

UNHINGED, ABSOLUTELY FERAL

BUT POSITIVES!

Literally everything else.

I don't know what to point out exactly because it's all very good. The story was fun (very fun to see the Adventure story like re-explored from this angle), I love the cast so much, the gameplay mechanics were fun, it's just a good game man.

Like it could've been better, but the way it is? It's a fine experience, and if you like me are yearning for more Digimon anime after Ghost Game left a void in all our hearts, well, this isn't quite that, but it's pretty damn close

It's a bloody good game

#Text post #Survive

[remyfire]

((It is the anon, I return having watched Period of Adjustment. Talk away about fun timeline thoughts all you like!))

First of all, I'm sorry. The only way I got through the triple whammy of that episode and the one before it was because my extremely zooted metamour was sitting next to me like :D as an emotional support while I was weeping. I literally put it off for a month because I knew what was coming.

The rest requires your input but I'm putting it under a cut anyway because I also know a few people following me who are making their way through the series and avoiding spoilers.

Blanket statement that anything I say in this is a very personal opinion of how I view a few points of the series and that I'm not suggesting there's a right or wrong way to consume it or be fans of specific characters.

This is one of a handful of episodes that I'm always interested to hear the thoughts of former Trappergirls (gender neutral) turned Beejgirls (same) on because it seems to me that chronologically it's the second episode (following Preventative Medicine in S7) that really forces viewers to decide if they're still gonna like this guy or not.

Preventative Medicine is the tipping point of if the viewer misses the uncomplicated dynamic between Hawk and Trap and prefers that perfectly-in-sync rhythm where they rarely questioned or combated one another. Another option is if they really appreciate that Beej and Hawk butted heads there. It's served with a chaser of "Do I think BJ is being enough of a hypocrite in where he draws his line in the sand that I've lost respect for him/find him annoying?"

Unsurprisingly, Period of Adjustment comes next as the tipping point of if the viewer can't abide by the Beej and Hawk arc of that episode. It poses an interesting question as well, right? Does the viewer find it forgivable that BJ strikes Hawkeye while having a drunken meltdown, then doesn't directly apologize for it? Is there room for the viewer to let that stand as their friendship—and relationship, if one ships them that way—continues to develop? Or does it give the viewer a bad enough taste in their mouth that there's no real going forward while still liking him as a character/potential ship partner from that point?

It's especially interesting to me because at the end of the day, Trap and Beej have quite a similar experience. They both essentially get triggered through a letter from home regarding their children. They both get drunk as skunks. They both act incredibly irrationally. They both strike Hawkeye with enough force to send him flying into his bed. Neither of them apologize directly for what they did. The difference is that Trapper used a very large bag and Beej used his fist. Beej left a mark, Trap didn't. Beej had a breakdown where he was able to get everything that had triggered him out, Trap buried it again. And yet this is still one of those crucial episodes that really determines if a viewer will continue to find Beej palatable or if they decide they would really rather not.

So that all being said, I really would love to hear your thoughts on it because iirc, you were quite a fan of Trapper, but also fell for BJ pretty fast once he arrived. There's no wrong answer, no judgment call being made, and both ways of thinking—or even a secret third, fourth, fifth, however many thing—are incredibly valid. I'm just curious to know where you feel like you're leaning or if you're not sure yet.

#the way i know tungle is gonna put this in the goddamn search #i am not looking to jab a hornet's nest i am simply curious #anybody who follows me for long knows that how much i adore BOTH of them could not be any bigger #my ramblings

[merrysithmas]

Force Ghosts as Enlightened beings, each representing a Theme

This meta presents a theory that all characters who become Force Ghosts were reincarnated souls close to nirvana that needed to master one final lesson before becoming eternal in the Force.

Once they do, they are allowed to become Force Ghosts, serving as bodhisattva-like entities for the Galaxy. I propose Jedi (or force-sensitives) are these particular reincarnated souls close to nirvana. This explains their "powers" in the SW universe. Importantly, only a few of even the Jedi are close enough to nirvana to reach Enlightenment - thus becoming Force Ghosts.

A bodhisattva is a person or entity who can reach nirvana but they basically stay behind to help assuage the suffering of others. As a follower of buddhism, I have always sort of assigned the Force Ghosts this role in Star Wars because even out of the Jedi they are special. This is only my personal interpretation and application of the concepts mishmashed with Star Wars. To me, each of them represents a Master over a different version of Suffering.

In their latest incarnations (aka the Jedi characters we know them by) they are tasked with trials and tribulations by the Force that are intended to be insurmountable, these tasks are intended to test them to see if are ready to leap over that final hurdle towards Enlightenment so they can act as guides to humanity (bodhisattva-like entities or Force Ghosts).

They are already all good people- but to reach this final stage requires immense inner balance and understanding of the true Way (as reflected by the Eight-Fold Path). The EFP is a buddhist guidance system which does not rely on concepts of "good" or "evil" but rather personal integrity and things like "right effort", "right intention" which can include taking actions or POVs which may be seen as morally ambiguious to others. This guidance system is used to prevent "the painful cycle of rebirth" and free oneself from, essentially, physical/psychological/spiritual deja vu.

Obi-wan: Forgiveness

Obi-wan begins his journey as a Jedi as an uppity, arrogant young man. He is portrayed in TPM as rule-follower with an intense dislike of deviation from "the books" so to speak, and is baffled by his Master's lackadaisical adherence to the Code. He finds it difficult to bend tradition and holds himself to very high standards of his own design.

He meets Anakin who is his litmus test, his foil, and his eventual partner. It has been said many times that Anakin taught Obi-wan adventure, energy, freedom, flexibility. His other half. The one person he finds purpose with and literally cannot live without. So what does the Force serve him? Betrayal. He is betrayed by Anakin. His rock. His defining partner. The person by whom he defines himself.

Not only has Anakin failed, but ergo he himself failed. An insurmountable grief it takes him years to come to terms with.

How does one learn forgiveness? To find detachment from the need to hold onto grief? To anger? To sorrow? To define oneself by loss as much as by love?

To free those who need forgiveness (ourselves or others), one must free oneself from judgement - judgement of ourselves and others. This judgement comes from a desire for control. This is Obi-wan's journey.

And each time Obi-wan succeeds - he forgives Maul for the murder of Qui-gon and Satine, and helps him die with compassion. He understands Maul's pain, even if his actions were painful. He knows it truly has nothing to do with him. Experiencing emotional pain is different from mentally centering oneself as the target of suffering.

He has an extremely important conversation with Maul here. As Maul is dying he asks Kenobi, "Is he the Chosen One?" to which Obi-wan replies, he is. Maul, with relief, dies in his arms with the last words, "He will avenge us all."

This exchange is extremely important! Not only does Obi-wan make the step to forgive Maul, but through that effort he gains more understanding of Anakin and Vader (his biggest hurdle!). He gets closer to overcoming his greatest challenge.

Along the way he forgives Padme for lying to him about her marriage to Anakin and raises her children. He forgives himself for the blame he carries for Qui-gon's death and Anakin's fall. He forgives Anakin.

Until finally, most importantly, he forgives Vader by realizing there is still light in him, too. That Vader suffered and is a Being of suffering, made of suffering, making others suffer.

He has compassion for Vader! Because one only suffers if they have goodness in them, if they are in moral conflict with themselves. And so he understands Anakin has always been there in Vader. He is not lost and never has been.

This is why he smiles when he dies. He knows neither of them are lost. The circle is now complete. He reaches Enlightenment.

This is how Obi-wan becomes a master of Forgiveness.

Anakin: Balance

Anakin of course is a demi-god and agent of the Force's will. His entire life he is torn between two ends of a spectrum. IMO if we follow Buddhist tradition in this example, the Force is the entirety of dark and light, all-encompassing, the unit, the whole. There is no nominal "good" or "evil", just well-intended deeds and unwell-intended, failures and successes, both dependent one another.

As an agent of the Force with no real "free will" Anakin is tossed back and forth between extremes and opposites his entire life, fighting desperately for an identity and freedom. The Sith or the Jedi. Obi-wan or Padme. His mother or his duties. Ahsoka or the Council. Republic or Separatists. Sage or Warrior. The Son or the Daughter. Anakin or Vader. Good or Bad. Slave or Master.

This duality tortures him until he finally accepts something most people cannot accept or comprehend about themselves (even the Sith and Jedi): he is both.

We all must balance and accept we belong to the dark and the light, to every edge of our desires, to take responsibility for ourselves - without judgement, to stop fighting, stop warring with ourselves and one another, to see we are all struggling, and to most importantly, not become slaves to our engineered suffering.

When he dies, like Obi-wan, he is smiling, because he sees his son Luke. The person who was able to finally help him see he is not a monster, torn and tortured - he is just a person, like everyone else; and he is the Force, like everyone else.

This is how Anakin becomes a master of Balance.

Luke: Failure

Luke's arc really is intriguing and my personal favorite. He is a wunderkind and Light of the galaxy. He is revered, worshipped, loved, -- he can do no wrong.

But soon, the Force begins to test him. Grogu rejects his teaching. His Jedi Academy fails. He finds himself distanced from Leia and Han. He takes on the apprentice Ben Solo and fails spectacularly to protect him from the Dark.

He considers ending Ben's life, in a mirror to Vader's slaughter of the younglings, and comes to the personal notion that the Jedi way itself is corrupt. If it wasn't, wouldn't it protect these souls? These children? Wouldn't it make him strong enough to resist that urge.

He feels the Jedi Way (or any adherence to a Way that creates duality) is what corrupted not only him, his father, his nephew, his relationships, but the whole galaxy. He is convinced the Jedi need to end and flees to isolation.

He considers himself a failure to his father, his legacy, his apprentice (Rey), his masters, Obi-wan, Ben, and the Galaxy.

Yet when he seeks to burn the sacred texts he hesitates. Yoda appears to make it clear to him. The greatest teacher failure is.

Luke the Wonderboy needed to face the fact that he was fallable man, not just Luke Skywalker: untouchable son of the Chosen One.

When he faces Ben Solo he accepts that he failed. He wants Ben to know it is okay to fail.

To fall.

And that is how he eventually saves his nephew and gains Enlightenment. The Order fell, not the Jedi way (aka "goodness"). And that's okay, because the Order was only an institution. Maybe it was wrong and corrupt.

And so from that Luke understands the Jedi Way did not fail, he did. And that's okay, even if he's Luke Skywalker.

He says "See you around, kid" because he knows with this last lesson he has finally given hope to a new generation of Force-sensitives. He knows he will not be the last Jedi.

This is how he becomes a Master of Failure.

Leia: Acceptance

We don't get to see much of Leia's life on screen but it is easy to surmise what her lesson from the Force is. Fierce, independent, fiery Leia, rebel leader Leia, who is convinced she can do or achieve anything - must learn to accept things she cannot change. Must give up control. Understand that some things are unchangeable. Some things you cannot fight.

Leia cannot know her birth parents (Obi-wan tells her only what he can). Leia cannot save Alderaan (an impossible choice). Leia cannot save her son Ben.

It doesn't matter if there is still light in Ben (she can't save him alone and must have Han). She cannot bring Luke back alone (she needs Rey to do that). She cannot save Han (he sacrifices himself). She cannot win the war (that is left to another generation).

No matter how hard she fights, she must admit to herself there is no winning, no "end" to conflict. That the conflict and need to heal it is also within herself.

Leia the fighter must finally lay down her arms. And how does she finally bring her son back to the light? Not kicking, not flailing, not burning into the night - no, she literally lays down, and rests. She finally rests, giving the last of her life to help him survive Rey's saberhit.

And that's when Ben finally hears her.

Leia dies at peace, asleep. Knowing she will never again see her son, knowing the war is not won, knowing Alderaan is not entirely avenged, knowing she cannot fight her way through the truth. Having to accept her effort was enough, even if they never outright win. That winning is not victory, but simply a resolve.

This is how she becomes a Master of Acceptance.

Qui-gon: Responsibility

With Qui-gon we go briefly to the EU here. Qui-gon was considered for the Council but rejected it on the basis that he would not align with their POVs. He was a freethinker and disliked the Council's orthodoxy and adherence to the Senate's will. This stems from his suspicion about them following Dooku's fall, which wounded him deeply.

He trains Obi-wan but is so damaged from the absence of his Master Dooku that he stays distant and unattached to Obi-wan, causing the boy to seek perfection to obtain respect from his peers. He shirks the Council and insists on training Anakin. He makes jokes of levity about "not being there to free slaves". He leaves Shmi on Tatooine.

Qui-gon avoids responsibility because he does not want to disappoint anyone as Dooku did. He does not entirely trust the Council, either. He can't stand the idea of that failure and is so, so damaged by it. And so, he never commits to anything and rejects responsibility.

So what does the Force hit him with? Maul. The first Sith in ages. And Anakin. The freaking Chosen One. The two biggest responsibilities to ever exist in their time!

He is tasked with protecting the Queen of Naboo and preventing an all-out Galactic War!

When he dies, fighting the first Sith in memory, he finally is putting his money where his mouth is. He steps up and sacrifices himself for his beliefs. He begs Obi-wan to train Anakin, knowing his importance and commiting his only padawan to that belief.

He is the one who figures out how to become a Force Ghost! He is tasked with training all the masters and sent back to rehabilitate Obi-wan in the desert - his apprentice who deserved his attention long ago. And he gives it, taking responsibility and committing to Obi-wan.

This is how he learns to be a Master of Responsibility.

Yoda: Loss

And of course, last but not least, Yoda.

In a lot of "anti Jedi"-centric meta is it pointed out Yoda had a huge part in the making of the past 900 years and thus takes a large chunk of responsibility for the path of the Jedi/Sith through the SW timeline.

The fact that Yoda has an enormous influence on the ebb and flow of the SW universe is undeniable at least. Yoda's attachment to the Jedi Order and way, to the outcome of continual balance, to the search for Force-sensitives, to teaching, to leading the Council is something the Force needed to challenge to test Yoda.

Of course we know Sidious defeats Yoda and the Order crumbles. Yoda himself admits the Jedi's attachment to the war, Senate, and rules contributed to the end of the Order as they knew it. He was blind to Sidious' plans because Sidious preyed on Yoda's weakness -- his faith in institutions. Sidious became the institution, something Yoda would never suspect. I am the Senate.

In the end, Yoda dies a hermit. At peace at last. No Order to serve, yet he gets over his shame and fear of his failure and starts again by training Luke. He warns Luke he will be scared. Just as he was to lose the Light, Goodness, and Order of the World. And that fear is sometimes the biggest challenge and roadblock of all.

He leaves Luke with one final warning, no longer a Jedi High Master but an old reclusive man living in a bog.

"There is another," Yoda says. He means Leia, of course, but symbolically he is always giving Luke pivotal life advice that he has finally come to understand after 900 years.

Whatever way you think you must go, never forget there is another.

Let it go if you must.

Fighting endlessly to keep something is sometimes much less valueable than letting it go.

And never forget that this alternate path might be worth walking.

This is how he becomes a Master of Loss.

-

Of course there are only the Force Ghosts we have seen on screen! So assumedly others may also reach Enlightenment.

#star wars #anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #yoda #qui gon jinn #luke skywalker #leia organa #there are other others like kanan etc but i wanted to focus on these few rn #ahsoka and windu were also speaking to rey in tros but i dont thjnk we ever saw them as ghosts? not sure! #my buddhist witch self is pleased i finally wrote this after telling myself i would for 500 yrs

[aspd-culture]

Mentions of family death and child abuse

Is it an aspd thing, or I guess anything really, to not feel a lot of grief when someone dies, or to not feel grief because of who died but for more practical reasons like how life would materially change without them.

Anyway, through most of my life growing up it seemed like members of my family died all the time and I never really felt that much, even after I learned that I needed to act like I did so no one would say anything. A lot of the time it was semi understandable since this was with extended family I wasn't extremely close to, but it also happened with my grandparents who I saw more often, and both my adoptive parents and biological mother. I just...I wasn't happy they were gone, but I didn't feel that much overall or four that long, some sadness but not the deep long term grief it seemed like everyone else felt, and with mom's death I was more than anything worried about if we would lose our house since the paramedics had finally seen the unsafe condition it was in. To be fair, they were all abusive to me in some way, but even then I've known people who's abusive family members who still seemed much more affected. That and this is also how I reached to my aunt dying, and she was basically the only family member who never hurt me in any way, who I felt fully safe with, yet when she died I barely grieved.

If it's anything it's been the same with pets too. (To be clear I did still try to prevent them from dying, and I'm well over my 9-12ur old phase of being violent to animals, though the few times I've had to kill an animal for some reason over the years it's just been...not that hard or anything). Anyway with deaths it's been either nothing or the sadness is shadow and short term. It's not like I ever wanted anyone in my life to, at least not that I realize, but it also...didn't hurt much when they did? Sometimes I was more relieved than anything, especially with my parents. I don't know, maybe this is normal?

In contrast (and addition) to the last ask, it *is* an associated trait (not a requirement) to have a decreased or transactional reaction to grief and death in general. This is especially true if you weren't close with them or if you experience emotional blunting due to ASPD.

Many pwASPD process relationships as transactional when people are alive, so it makes lots of sense to process death in a similar fashion.

Especially in cases of abuse, this is a very normal response regardless of if you have ASPD or not, but in the case of non-abusive individuals, we have to look at how the brain handles attachment in ASPD to understand why grief can look so different in pwASPD.

Generally, ASPD comes with severe attachment issues due to a malformation of the bond with the caregivers in the life of a child that goes on to develop ASPD. These attachment issues can manifest one of two ways. You may have very strong, intense attachments to only a very small number of people (generally referred to as Exceptions by pwASPD), or you may have extremely blunted attachment to everyone.

In the case of the latter (which exists for both pwASPD who do have Exceptions and people who don't), it makes a lot of sense to see a decreased grief response. Your brain literally developed around the idea that attaching to people is dangerous, so it makes sense that you would not have the response of someone who was more attached. Comparing it to neurotypicals, expecting someone with blunted or maldeveloped attachment to have the same grief response as someone with a secure attachment style is like expecting someone who met the deceased person twice to have the same intensity of grief as the deceased person's sibling. It's just not realistic since they didn't have the same type of relationship.

However, as I mentioned in my last ask, this decreased feeling of grief is an associated trait, not a requirement for an ASPD diagnosis, so there are plenty of people who have ASPD who have a very typical presentation of grief, and even pwASPD who have a more intense reaction to grief (mostly due to trauma surrounding abandonment).

#tw death #cw death #tw death mention #tw abuse #tw child abuse #cw child abuse #cw abuse #aspd-culture-is #aspd culture is #aspd culture #actually antisocial #actually aspd #antisocial personality disorder #aspd #aspd awareness #aspd traits #cw grief #anons welcome

[juniperhillpatient]

The Library Re-Watch

This episode is possibly the strongest Book 2 episode (with no Azula anyway) yet. I like that it starts out with the group talking about taking mini vacations & you think that it's going to be more of a goofy side adventure plot & it turns out to be a very integral episode that moves the plot forward a lot. I've been complaining a lot this season about how Sokka keeps getting relegated to the butt of the joke so I really enjoyed everything he got to do in this episode from pushing to find a Fire Nation map to staying behind in the sinking library to learn the date of the next solar eclipse.

This isn't saying anything new, but I continuously love the world-building of ATLA. Of course if a lunar eclipse weakens water-benders a solar eclipse will weaken fire-benders. I wonder if there is an equivalent for air or earth benders? I can't think of natural phenomena that would weaken either of their elements on a certain day, but it's interesting the way different settings affect Toph's earth-bending, with the sand making things fuzzy (although I suppose she could probably technically learn sand-bending eventually? I guess her style & technique is less fluid & more grounded though, which I think would make sand-bending very difficult for her...side tangent. anyway!)

Professor Zei is a fun character & I can't believe he literally stayed behind to get buried in the sand because he couldn't tear himself away from the books. That's some dedication to your profession as a historian! Also, pretty dark.

I love Wan Shi Tong. He's a truly fascinating neutral spirit. The idea that he doesn't care about which side has committed which atrocities and wants to prevent humans from seeking methods to destroy one another altogether is fascinating to me. I just really loved this scene:

Sokka: You don't understand. If anyone's evil, it's the Fire Nation. You saw what they did to your library. They're destructive and dangerous. We need this information.

Wan Shi Tong: You think you're the first person to believe their war was justified? Countless others before you have come here seeking weapons or weaknesses or battle strategies.

Aang: We had no choice. Please, we're just desperate to protect the people we love.

Wan Shi Tong And now I'm going to protect what I love. [Flaps his wings and the library starts shaking.]

I just loved everything about this scene. It's scary & also tells you a lot about Wan Shi Tong. Also, can't believe Zhao is dead & he's still ruining things. I never thought about the library's origins & how Wan Shi Tong & his foxy knowledge seekers became the guardians but now I am. It's a really interesting setting & it's tragic that it had to be destroyed.

The ending scene actually made me emotional. I just felt so horrible for Toph for trying to hold up the sinking library & not being able to protect Appa. And Appa....Appa getting taken just hurts so bad. I remember the first time that I watched the show I could barely even enjoy the episodes following this one because all I cared about was where Appa was, & I'm dreading 'Appa's Lost Days' in this re-watch. That's a rare ATLA episode I've only ever seen once because it makes me too sad.

Points for Iconic Behavior this episode: Well, no one made me mad in this episode & it was a great episode but I didn't have too many moments where I was like "oh, that's iconic" for what the characters were doing or how they were acting, which is how points are assigned. Only Sokka earned any in this episode. 1000 for bravely staying behind to learn when the next solar eclipse will be & insisting on this adventure in the first place / generally leading the episode.

#the library #atla re watch #atla book 2

[lilyfreshwater]

i think one problems of having so many young people in this fandom is, when it comes to talking about something like grooming between a 17 year old and a 20 year old, almost everyone is younger than 20 and does not have lived experience at both ages. so as a result, they see both the 17 year old and the 20 year old in the context of a 17 year old. as someone who does have lived experience at both 17 and 20, i can confidently say that, yeah, it might be a 3 year age difference, but the amount of mental and emotional development you go through in that period is simply unfathomable if you haven't experienced it. i feel like i've aged a decade just in the years since i started college, and that distance from me then to me now only grows faster and more extreme as time goes on. there are so many situations that have happened to me now that, when i think about how i would have handled them as a teenager, i realize there is no way i could have handled it in a mature and competent manner. and i was a smart kid! but there's just some skills and experience that we do not have as a teenager which prevents us from handling situations like these like an adult. these aren't necessarily things that develop from some landmark event or experience, they just come from having an almost mature prefrontal cortex.

now, this isnt to say that adults can't be groomed by other adults. that can and does absolutely happen, but in this situation what makes the simple act of speaking privately in dms so egregious is the fact that there is such a large developmental gap between a 17 year old and a 20 year old. but the young people of this fandom haven't experience that yet, so they just brush that off when people talk about it. i remember when the carson situation happened, and although i definitely believed the victims, i was still kinda iffy on whether the age difference was problematic. looking back on that situation now that i'm older, its easy to see how carson could have not even been a content creator and still been grooming those girls. again, there's such a gap between 17/18 and 20/21 that you simply cannot conceive of if you have not experienced being both ages and interacting with both people your age and people older/younger than you. so when a situation like this happens again, now with someone literally too big to fail as we've seen, it unfortunately makes sense why his young fanbase would defend him or minimize the allegations

#ask #dream situation

[selamat-linting]

so, last time i left off on homestuck, i was introduced with the cherubs, and meenah peixes' bizarre (afterlife) adventure. as always, some thoughts :

-i kinda feel bad for dirk lol. out of all the group, he was the one caliborn felt is the most tolerable to talk to. and worst of all, he kinda let him play his shitty games. eugh, if that was me, i'd just scoff at caliborn's threats on killing his sister and accidentally kickstarted the apocalypse too early since my ignorance pissed him off. to be fair, the porn drawing game feels like a pretty lackcluster attempt at trolling. its so cute how dirk draw himself kissing his crush.

-poor calliope though. last time i saw her she's very much a ghost, maybe stuck around the furthest ring along with the other very dead ghosts, but is somehow able to subtly influence things like guide caliborn into doing his quest from the viewport, and allegedly maybe stop meenah and vriska from having their duel and waking up john. this is only a maybe though, im not very convinced at my perception of events here.

-speaking of calliope and caliborn, this is where things started getting meta right? homestuck has always have a bit of metafiction elements to it, and a lot of its themes seems to be deconstructing and examining popular culture. act 6 is where things started getting off the rails, i mean, where references to internet subcultures gets more blatant, more up to date with the current time it was made (direct meme references instead of making its own inner jokes derived from irl shit like sbahj), and started to put a mirror on homestuck since it has grown into a notorious major fandom now. it makes sense that hussie would start writing about homestuck instead writing about the internet in general. there is no way act 6 can be something else. and it has its negatives just as much as it has its positives

-first of all, meme references in media has always been hard to do right. remember that burger ad fiasco? some of the jokes on act 6 doesnt land as well as in act 5 and 4

-wait shit i went off the rails. i want to talk about caliope and caliborn first. caliope is a hypothetical fan of hs meanwhile caliborn is a hater right? he was also a representation of misogyny which fits with the times. a lot of cringe culture ppl in the 2010s, at least the loudest ones, tend to be misogynists. i've seen the case over and over again. people who said they hate the fandom when actually they just hate to see teen girls having fun. they also tend to be ableists esp their attitude around bullying and autistic ppl but hussie is also an ableist too, so even though he was the one being bullied by cringe culture people online and benefitted from autistic kids making fanworks, he made caliborn to be the guy with a learning disability. hilarious bitch ig.

-but other than that, caliope's insult to caliborn implies that the murder he did was detrimental to his growth as person. not just metaphorically, but literally. im not so up to date with cherub lore and alien biology, but killing your headmate before their natural death and integration Sounds Bad. and based on calliope's word alone, it might even make caliborn perpetually stunted in cherub equivalent of puberty forever, unable to reach maturity. poor dude. but, is actually a pretty good commentary on toxic masculinity preventing one's full growth as a person because he can't allow himself to gain emotional maturity and do so called female activities.

-okay, moving on from the cherubs. the dancestors. personally, i like their designs, i spesifically love meenah, porrim, and aranea. meenah is scratching the vriska itch but with a different flavor. and i guess kankri, despite his massive annoying factor was nice too. i know a kid who actually act like him. the kid in my town went drunk with his friends and when his friends started being sad about his ex, the kid called him a sexist pig. a few weeks later i got news that this same kid persistently try get girls into having sex with him. educating him was a bitch and a half yknow and im not even that sad the kid decides to withdraw from organizing for now. but it is a bit hopeful to see that a kid like kankri, in another timeline, if given the chance to grow up and learn would be a terrific leader. maybe a few years later the kid in my town would change too?

-but other than that its... man how do i say this. okay, its bad. a lot of the characters are just there just for the sake of having to be there. hussie, you dont have to complete all 12 of the dancestors its okay. youre just wasting more energy animating stuff that you obviously dislike by now. like idc what they says, but the 12 dancestors wasnt even a good mirror of tumblr subcultures. its just there as a one off gag instead of something they wants to delve into later on. the jokes wasnt even that funny like, i've spent two years on reddit making fun of softboy nice guys and gamer gurls the joke is old at this point. and hussie seems to delve deeper into being an ableist asshole the more people criticize them. its pathetic to make a strawman character of your haters and criticizers. honestly, caliborn would have been a better character if its just a stand in for toxic masculinity instead of a homestuck hater. the story is too bloated at this point. just give it a rest.

-also, act 6 weakness is that most of the story elements would fly over someone who never know the heydays of 2012-2015 tumblr. okay, this applies to homestuck as a whole honestly. like its about the internet and american 90s nostalgia. only a terminally online person would fully appreciate it. but dear god the mental illnes you'll get if youre one of lucky demographics to understand... hussie might have hit and miss on some things, but when they're right theyre right. i do think there are merits on making things that will never have mass appeal.

-okay, now thats out of my system im gonna say that from now on, im not gonna take homestuck as seriously as i did yesterday. i can see this is the point where things started to fall apart. bloated character sets, too many authorial self inserts, plot is becoming overly convoluted, the social commentary are becoming incoherent. hussie can make an entire page about dirk explaining the downfall of western civilization using historical materialism to jake but this will always be the webcomic where the 'scariest' troll is a rapper who made vodka pie, slept in a bed of honks, and taped wings on his godtier cosplay.

-okay this is getting too long. on to facking part 2 of my post!!!!

#homestuck #homestuck liveread #homestuck liveblog

[ren-c-leyn]

Happy STS, Ren^^

Tell me a bit about the dynamics between the Sparrow and other prominent characters? It's your most influential wip and I know so little about it.

Also a writing update and how have you been please :)

@writingonesdreams

Happy STS to you as well, Dreams. Always good to hear from you ^^

The Plight of a Sparrow is my oldest WIP, and played a major role in developing my style to what it is today. I used to talk about it a lot, but other WIPs have stolen the spotlight ^^;

Here's your read more as per tradition, I hope you enjoy the lengthy ramble and the breakdown of the dynamics ^^

Sparrow's dynamics with the other characters is as complex as the plot, because it is a major part of the plot. In fact, the plot is mostly centered around the characters and the mess that is their dynamics.

Sparrow's not entirely honest with all of them, doing her best to suppress her old life's influence on how she speaks and acts so she doesn't get unnecessary questions. She's not sure how they'd react to finding out she's from another world. That she was a fan of a game based on their world, that she knows more about many of them than she's letting on. Unfortunately, she's not nearly as successful at hiding herself as she had hoped, though it does not draw as many questions as it should since she was born with a rather powerful magic. And children born with strong magic do tend to act a bit off and learn much quicker.

Though, if I'm being honest, none of the characters are entirely honest. All of them have their own cards they're holding, their own agendas they're pursuing, and their own secrets to keep. So it's not a one way street. I once laid out the whole spider web of what each character is doing in the story for my writing partner and she couldn't believe just how complicated these secrets and agendas get. Because no, no I can not make even a test project simple on myself XD

All of that to say, what I'm going to tell you about the dynamics is very much surface level and most of these change drastically throughout the series as these characters all play their cards and their secrets come to light.

Raina -

Raina is Sparrow's adopted mother and the former best friend of her biological mother. She's very quiet, reserved, the picture of cold elegance and detachment, but she's very patient with Sparrow and would lay down her life in an instant to protect her. And anyone who threatens her precious daughter will find out just how hot her anger can burn. She does her best to protect Sparrow from the ugly truths of the world and has even joined the human army against her kin in order to open up more opportunities for Sparrow's future.

Every so often, Sparrow can catch Raina's real emotions cracking through the cool mask. In the game, Raina was a minor side character and a quest giver with an unfortunate fate. Depending on how the main character, who again is not Sparrow, did things Raina could be killed, exiled, or any number of other tragic fates due to her half-moon elf heritage getting her accused of being an enemy spy. Since Raina is the only family Sparrow has, she's trying to find a way to keep that from happening irl, desperately searching for ways to protect Raina, like Raina has protected her. It makes Sparrow nervous to know Raina's life is literally in the hands of someone she knows exists but has never met.

Hugh -

Hugh has a complicated dynamic with Sparrow, and the worst part is is he has no idea that the dynamic is complicated XD

On one hand, he was one of her favorite characters from the game. Confident, sassy, a bit mischievous, clever, and able to bend almost any situation to his advantage. It was one thing when he was a game character, but seeing him use it in real life to talk Raina into joining the human army, and basically sending her to the fate Sparrow wanted to prevent, was an entirely different matter.

Sparrow's torn between wanting to get along with him and trust him, and not trusting him at all, all for the same reasons. Eventually she resigns herself to the fact that it's ultimately Raina's decision and calms down enough to finally consider him to be a friend.

Meanwhile, Hugh has just been talking her ear off since he's a talker and Raina very much is not. I think Sparrow also reminds him of his younger sisters, so he goes out of his way to find interesting stories to tell her and otherwise keep her entertained, all while completely oblivious to the fact that their dynamic was ever complicated.

Jalen -

Up til then end of book 3, Jalen is the most prominent of the side characters and is probably the only one who matches Sparrow in being a complete disaster.

The poor kid was hired to take care of Sparrow while Raina was sent off to war. He's socially awkward, clumsy enough that Sparrow fears for his life every time he goes to sweep the floor, and is terrified of Raina, but he's doing his best. He saves Sparrow's life several times after her curse comes into play, and does his best to teach her about things. He's protective of Sparrow, though he honestly couldn't fight well enough to save his own life, but he'd try if it came to that.

She kind of considers him to be the older brother she never had, and is constantly trying to give him little pointers to try to help him survive doing the day to day chores. He's one of the few people she let's her guard down around a bit and they'll have deep conversations about various things.

Hunter -

Hunter is another prominent character of the early books, and Jalen hates it, lol. He's a mysterious man who sells hides and other materials to the workers in Claude's workshop. He doesn't show his face to anyone, hiding it beneath a fabric mask and a low hood, and like Jalen, he also seems to have a hard time connecting to people.

However, his knowledge of the wilds and history with Raina and Sparrow's love of stories and asking questions leads them to becoming friends... even though he and Jalen antagonize each other. He comes and goes throughout the story and eventually becomes the one who teaches Sparrow about surviving in the wilds, wielding weapons, and the wood elven dialect.

Claude -

Claude is perhaps one of the biggest influences on Sparrow, though he becomes the most prominent in book 2: The Sword's Curse. He's a master enchanter and the only full human enchanter known in the world. He's a stubborn man full of determination who looks after his friends. Does his best to be friendly, though the constant pain his magic puts him through makes it difficult at times.

Claude is the first magic wielder introduced in the series, and Sparrow immediately curious about his magic. When Sparrow learns about her magic, he becomes her mentor. He teaches her both the wonders and horrors of enchantment magic and does his best to guide her onto a better path than the one he had chosen for himself. Claude is both an inspiration and a warning for Sparrow. He's the power and wonder that magic can bring, and the living embodiment of just how cursed magic is. Sparrow both looks up to him and worries about him.

Those are the main characters she interacts with so far in the series, and it gets complicated to explain the roles of the others without starting to get into spoiler territory.

I've been tired, thanks to some changes in my schedule, but am over all doing alright. I got started on Kitan's introduction chapter of Forgotten Gods (Chapter 3: The Goddess's Chosen Fool) as well as starting the next chapter of The Shackles of Time. I know I keep saying this, but I'm pretty sure I'm almost done with the stormy road ahead arc. I think the end will either be this chapter or the next one. It got much, much longer than I was expecting, but I think it's one of the more dramatic arcs to date.

I'm currently working on one of the anniversary posts today. It's turning out well so far. I'm definitely glad I gave myself the extra two months to do these, though. They're taking quite a bit of time to work through.

I think that's about it. If you have any follow up questions or get curious about anything, you know where to find me ^^

Thanks for stopping in, I hope you have a lovely day/evening.

#sts #The Plight of a Sparrow

[zachsgamejournal]

PLAYING: Sable

I'm seeing some cracks in the experience. It is an indie game. Still, I enjoy it very much.

Readying Metro 2035, which has been translated from Russian...and somewhat poorly I believe. There's inconsistency in capitalization of certain letters in names, sometimes inconsistency in the names themselves. Plus, there's sentences that simply don't make any sense. Kind of like, "he jumped the shark". I barely even know what that means--so imagine someone reading a literally translation of that in another language: "Whoah, what shark?! I thought they were in a Metro...there's sharks in Metros?"

Point is, i feel like my opening comments above read like a poor translation.

So, SABLE!!

I'm starting to get the hang of the game a little more. While I love story, I don't love how this game handles dialog. We're given descriptive prose which provide insight into the main character's psyche. I think this is because the developers couldn't allocate resources to animations in order to provide visual storytelling. I mean, did they try? Final Fantasy 7 had about six different animations that it reused over and over to communicate unspoken emotion, and that worked perfectly fine. And it avoided the this annoying thing Sable does of over-explaining a conversation/interaction with prose.

Example:

I will walk up to a new character and click interact. The character will say, "Hey, how can I help you." Then I'm presented with reasonable dialog choices: 1. "Who are you?" 2. "Where can I find [quest item]? 3. "I'm just looking for general advice." And once you click on a choice, instead of assuming that is said to the other character, the game provides a few sentences such as:

"I nervously look up at this imposing figure, wondering if they're the kind of person that helps strangers. But I remember why I'm here, and that I shouldn't allow myself to be intimidated. That's when I manage to squeak out: "Who are you?"

Is that all necessary? I don't think so. It was kinda cute at first, but now it's getting on my nerves. I almost feel ashamed that I speed-read through most of the prose stuff and just get to the dialog. I think Roki handled this better, but only providing dialog but allowing the characters to express and auditory sigh of joy or sadness to bring forth the emotional weight of the scene.

I'm a little torn on how large the world is. On the one hand, it allows you to enjoy the act of traveling by hover bike. On the other hand, the world is pretty empty. There's not much to see or do in between major landmarks. I think there's two issues at play--the hover bike is kinda boring, but also--clunky.

I think about Sea of Thieves, which I love, and how sailing from one island to the next takes work. The winds are always shifting, which requires the player(s) to constantly adjust the sails. Uncharted rocks can appear, require a concerted effort to maneuver. And events like rain storms and accidents can require the player to manage war and ship damage. The point being, traveling is an experience in of itself. Sable's hover bike doesn't have that. it's just a vehicle that moves you about and there's no management really. No fuel or anything--just travel.

But travel is a bit clunky, because the hover bike constantly handles the uneven landscape in strange ways. I'll ramp off a hill and land funny, cause the bike to flip and roll out of control. You can't fall off, so it's low consequence, but it's frustrating and disruptive how poorly the bike handles the terrain. I've played tons of Jet Moto and expect more from my hover bike. I think this "punishment" would be fine if the player were given more controle, like in Jet Moto. Give me control of the pitch, yaw, and rolling. While a little more complicated, it would make the driving of the hover bike more of an experience, and would make these "crashes" preventable with good management of the bike's rotation. OR, if you're going to not give me control--make the experience less clunky--like in Destiny. The bikes just always know how to handle the environment.

I've done a few quest. One involved trying to solve a mystery of a stolen power source. The game gives you credit for trying, and there doesn't seem to be a right answer--but I felt I was mostly right. It was kind of neat, but also annoying. Otherwise, I'm mostly just doing fetch quests. It's got that World of Warcraft vibe I like--big open world with long travel times. It's a real chill experience. The quests are sometimes interesting, like using smokey rocks to get glow worms to drop off a ceiling or collecting lightning crystals.

Also, the lightning crystals are worth 100 monies each. I plan to go get more of those. Did you know merchants will run out of money?

I've started doing fishing. It's weird to think you catch fish swimming in sand. There's a cute minigame to capture a fish. It's kind of annoying though. Not as annoying as real fishing, so maybe I should be grateful.

They've made some interesting structures and areas. Sadly, these areas rarely have much more than a single treasure box and a collectable. It's both awe inspiring and disappointing. I mean, Shadow of the Colossus had a large but mostly empty world and it's well loved.

I'm still enjoying the game and it's tone. I think I'm starting to get hints of how this world came to be. I climbed a giant, dead sand worm. That was interesting. I'm already itching to play more as I write this.

#Zach's Game Journal #PLAYING #Sable #PC #PC Gaming #Steam #Steam Gaming #Video Games #Gaming

[limetimo]

1, 2 and 31 for Regulus/ur OC love interest lol

My... OC love interest??? Oh dear, do I even have one of those. Aren't all Marauders Era characters our OCs with how little canon material there is about them...? I'm sorry this ask is literally blowing my mind lmao

*stares blankly in the distance trying to remember a single OC I've ever made*

Okay, okay. Simone from the Regulily Bingo series. She doesn't have much screen time or character yet but more the reason to sit and flesh her out a little

1) Who would end a heated argument by defending their actions with ‘because I love you!’ ?

I'm not a big fan of this 'argument' in general, it has manipulative connotations to me for some reason.

Regulus might blurt it out because there are no other words that encompass the big conglomeration of emotions he feels. It might be a revelation to him, too. The first time he says it would be the first time he truly realised it? A "Wow, I have been acting irrational and weird about you. I would like to go drown in a lake now please, thank you," kind of thing.

Simone would stop a heated argument by... She'd say, Stop, we're fighting each other an not the problem. We'll take a twenty and regrup with snacks present. Yeah. I like that for her.

2) What would they do if the other woke in a manic state after a nightmare?

I think touching Regulus when he's like that would only make it worse. Talking grounds him, but Simone is sleep-stupid when woken up in the middle of the night so she sings instead because then she doesn't have to think about putting words into sentences that make sense. It's jingles, those repetitive folk songs with a zillion verses that differ region to region, sea shanties, and such. When Regulus calms down he cuddles down to her, and she keeps singing until one of them falls asleep. Regulus usually stays awake until morning and sneaks out to start his day, and makes Simone an extra strong coffee as an apology for waking her up.

Simone doesn't have nightmares often but they tend to be silly but frightening nonsense, like her mother coming over and throwing out all their plants for reasons that made sense in the dream. She wakes up manic and with an urgent need to fix whatever was wrong in her dream to prevent the bad thing from happening; Regulus gets up with her and helps. She feels silly and embarrassed about it in the morning when she's faced with the results - for example whole flat turned upside down from their search for her high school diploma - but Regulus just shrugs. He' doesn't mind it.

31) Can they sit side by side without touching the other or are they handsy? (lacing fingers, touching knees, etc.)

They can sit side by side without touching but they prefer to have a little ✨connection✨. They're more likely to be toughing with their arms than legs. Like, they bump elbows/shoulders rather than ankles/knees.

#holly shit i have mail

[a-spell-a-rebel-yell]

June

oh my god, i think this month's monthly update is the most delayed one i've ever posted here... i'm so sorry huhu but anyways to make it up to you guys: hello friends, wherever you are i hope you guys are happy and safe.

(also a bit TMI: this is my second time writing this post. for unknown cause, while i was already 90% done with my post, Tumblr decided to crash and i lost all of the words i've written. sighs. from this second, i will always remember to do 'save as drafts' now and then)

so the reason of me going behind schedule is really just the classic excuse of me being super busy. so many things happened and it just kept me away from this website and update you guys, literally until i can only write these down 2 days into July! 🥺

June started just like any month this year. work wise, the clinic ran just like how it does normally. nothing worth noting happened. life went on as mundane as it is, just the way i like it: staying in comfort zone.

but then, at the end of first week, i received a terrible news: the passing of a second father figure, an uncle. it was so abrupt, happened at night, but that's how heart attack is. this post also serves as a public service announcement to please please learn how to do the CPR! it might save lives and prevents further serious damages. the steps leading to and during cardio-pulmonary resuscitation aren't hard to memorize and trust me when i say it will make a huge difference. there are just a few steps, simple yet effective and important that i'm sure you'll thank yourself for studying it beforehand and keeping it in mind. especially if you have family members or friends with cardiovascular disease, please take a CPR course.

what's worse was having to deliver the news to his daughter, my closest cousin, who was at Brisbane at that time. dealing with the loss will never be easy, no matter how many times we've gone through this. it doesn't even lessen the pain in the slightest, it just acts like a warning sign to brace ourselves for the surely harsh waves. it crushed and still left an irreparable dent on my heart.

my mum also got the worst impact. my uncle and her were close, they were like comrades and always trusted each other. she said it feels even depressing to realize there are only three siblings left, where originally there were seven. it brought back the topic of death, and of course my parents got me into another drill of instructions to do should their time come. i honestly can't imagine a world without my mum and dad, i've always thought them and my grandma are immortal and inseparable part of my life i will never lose. but i guess, death and losses are just like the shadow, we can never outrun it. we just learn how to live with it.

now the main and only focus is to spend as much time as i can with my loved ones. cherish everything i have with them while they're still here, and give them the best while they can still witness it. i don't care how much we have left, even if it's just a speck of time, that is ours to preserve in the best state.

on another note, i watched Broker 브로커 and Everything Everywhere All At Once at the cinema! these two movies are just awesome, pure masterpieces. i recommend you to watch it!!! i can't even really describe what i feel while watching them, i genuinely think no word can break down the emotions you get during and after watching. they just get your thinking gears move and force you to step on their shoes for a couple of hours... i think i will rewatch them from time to time. not to mention the scores oh my god!!! Jung Jaeil did Broker and Son Lux did EEAAO, and i kid you not my favorite score that i listened before watching is actually played also on my favorite scenes! Broker also got listed into Festival de Cannes competition and won Best Actor... so i think i've said enough to convince you guys to watch it 😁

on the same weekend when i watch Broker, i met my Twitter friend K! she was at Jakarta to watch her favorite athletes at the Indonesia Masters, so between her badminton matches watch party we managed to sneak in some time to watch Broker together and sit to eat, talking from A to Z! it's fascinating really, how even though when i meet my internet friends it's our first encounter ever, we interacted like lifelong best friends finally reunited 😂 she brought a friend along, so naturally i became friends with her too haha

i forgot to mention, but i bought yet another Dufan annual pass! if you guys know me, yes i go to Dufan just like i go to malls, so having this pass is like one of my most treasured lol. going back to Ancol complex and finally getting on my favorite rides, it was... cathartic. even if it was a me-time, alone Dufan date with myself, i feel so liberated, so free. my only mistake was going on a Sunday, which means a packed crowd wherever i went, it took an hour queueing for every ride 😭 but i just let it all out, scream and shout, emptying my lungs every time the ride sent me soaring high into the sky. i put my arms up, complete surrender. i even heard someone saying i was so brave to do that in Kora-Kora, because i sat aaaaall the way back so as the big boat swing i will get to the highest point in an angle where even though i'm actually seated, it forced me to go into standing position. almost like i'm flying! the adrenaline rush and all the fond memories are the reasons why i keep coming back to Dufan 😊

work wise: i'm starting to get interesting cases this month! the most memorable one is again from another pediatric tooth extraction case like last time haha. but for this one, it's not about me having to handle crying kid, but it's what happened during the extraction: the deciduous teeth i extracted has a long, perfectly fine root just like a permanent teeth!!! i swear i already did intraoral examinations before the procedure so i'm sure it is a deciduous teeth, but i have never seen a root that intact it sent me into a panic fit 😭😂 apparently it is normal, it just doesn't happen often. the next case is a mysterious diagnosis of an upper molar, it took me many discussions with my head dentists and professors to determine what to do next. last week i just had the patient in for radiograph analysis and next Tuesday i'll be starting the procedure. prayers i can deliver the best treatment for my patients 🤲🏻

also another thing to add into the pile of things i'm working on: i was writing another fiction, yes!!!! after so long not writing a fiction, i admit i become a bit rusty and have to check Thesaurus a lot, but it's fun designing the mind map, doing world building, and characterization! had to dig deep to find the right emotions and words to portray them, but i finished it. it's just a short 6.8k words, but i'm very satisfied with it hehe.

that's all, the monster update for what June has been to me. i hope anyone reading this will have a superb July!!! stay safe and healthy, see you in the next post 🥂

#phew that was long #i wrote this TWICE thanks to that Tumblr glitch smh #alhamdulillah always #a day in my life

[thebipolarhoneybee]

hey you amazing human you! I hope you are here with love and positivity; you can leave your negative vibes at the door because they are like, totally not needed here! Let me start off with a few assumptions— First one being, we don’t know eachother… so I guess I should introduce myself..? K well that’s easy. My name is Melissa, and well going on the assumption that we don’t know eachother; I’m thirty years old and most likely the most pessimistic optimist in the world. LOL. I am easily what you’d call a writer; someone who genuinely enjoys literature, poetry and the simple act of writing with a royal blue inked pen on a fine crisp piece of paper. Aside from writing, there are few other things I both enjoy and succeed in, I mean if you ask what my interests are in regards to what I am actually capable of….? Oooooor maybe that’s just the clinical depression talking ..? That’s another thing I should probably introduce early on; I am an unbelievably strong advocate for mental health support and ending any stigma that may prevent any kind of healthy mental recovery. Again, another thing I should inform , or introduce is that personally I have [currently] battled with ADHD, Clinical Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Agoraphobia and Bipolar 2 Disorder.. (and Cronic Physical Pain ) for the last decade of my life. I have been through it all, when it comes to mental health — I see a psychiatrist, I’ve cried my fair own fair emount of unnessecary tears; ive spent weeks in bed because there was ‘no point’ to get out.. I spent time in the mental ward at Bluewater Health (which im sorry, but was a joke), faking my way through the week stay because I needed right the fuck out of there, and ive spent my time down “medication-change-emotion-spiral alley thinking, this is how my life ends”. I will always fight for mental health both because I truly believe it is a thing ,and simply because not enough people do , and I don’t think that is okay. I am an avid weed smoker, like snoop dogg style and I legitimately could not give a smaller fuck about what anybody thinks about it because—-smoking weed has honestly given me SUCH a life to live back.. A life that I thought only mountains and mountains of drugs would give me. (you know, the other kind of drug) which I've since learned is not necessary. I live in an apartment in the small smelly Sarnia , Ontario with my beautiful sister Carrissa and out overabundance of pets! I, like every other person in this world, have a story to tell. Now, whether you’d like to follow along is your choice, but I have been through my own personal hell and back and I think that I have come a very far distance from where it had all begun. Usually, on a given day— I try to document each of my days in my paper journal, and when I do, i [usually] take a daily picture to go with it. Now, you are more than welcome to an invitation to join and follow my journey into [what is foaled to be] recovery; honestly the more the merrier. Any love and support of any kind that I have received from any body else literally lifts me to such high spirits, and throughout my journey I can’t even explain just how much love I have truly gotten and how many receiving hands and hearts I have had offer their support. All that I ask of /you/ personally is that if you are not here to support, nor do you have nothing positive to bring, that you simply do not be here at all. As we all know, im sure, life is a difficult place for us all, and everyday we all face a different set of challenges that we’ve each woken up to. N O B O D Y needs the added pressure or guilt of the opinion of another who does not support their fellow human, weighing down on them—simply because they are trying to change a shitty hand of cards.  SO, I ask you now, if you are here to with any other intention but to support me in a healthy happy way, or quietly read along, you do not have to come back. So Thank You, and Take Care. After that being said, if you are still here— HEY YO! And welcome. Thank you for giving enough of a shit to even get through these first few little blurbs. I’m going to take the time in my first few entries to bring you all up to speed, but first I feel the need to explain my goal behind even documenting this all.. THE overall purpose here is to look back each day, each week, each year..and view my changes [which, I can PROMISE there will be changes] that will hopefully one day adapt to that of a healthy balanced individual. However, along the way I hope to be able to have my story heard, or told— for that somebody who maybe can’t speak theirs, or for that somebody who is going through something similar to what I am, and maybe doesn’t understand, or feels alone, or needs someone to talk to. My purpose here is to change a life. Maybe my own, maybe someone else’s..who knows.  Maybe I wil get lucky and hit them both? So come.. Follow alongside my journey and who knows, maybe the bipolar honey bee and you have more in common than you think.   I can’t promise it’ll be good, but you can bet your ass that I’ll always have something to say. 

 Thank you guys,   

 And much love! 

-melissa

#thebipolarhoneybee