#literally took a break from tumblr for about a week just to find this out

[itsmattchou]

lightning straight to my heart !

pairing: zb1 maknae line x gn!reader warnings: none i think, english isn't my first language!!! genre: fluff synopsis: their reaction to their crush falling asleep on their shoulder notes: first zb1 post! tbh i love the zerose community on tumblr so i hope i find lots of friends here🫶🫶 part 2 will be posted on friday or maybe saturday :D

SHEN QUANRUI

this is fine. this is fine! this is… AAAAAHHHHHH

you two were just peacefully hanging out and watching a movie at your place but you ended up falling asleep. with your head on his shoulder. obviously.

eyes widened, he still tried to maintain his cool guy facade (literally no one else is in that room) but soon enough he couldn't fight the lil smile anymore and then shyboy lovelicky took over

takes your hand into his and softly caresses it (he will let go of it the second he notices you're about to wake up)

his heart is pounding slightly faster for the entire time being, but tries to distract himself by watching the movie you picked for the two of you to watch

clears his throat every 5 seconds??? pls save him he's too shy for this

KIM GYUVIN

uhmmm

uhm?

he just… broke???

doesn't move, doesn't breathe, just stares at your peacefully sleeping figure on his shoulder

so suprised that he has no idea how he's supposed to react

windows shut down sound

his heart is beating like CRAZY though. super loud too! he probably dies from a heart attack soon

he thinks you're totally adorable 💔💔

starts to move again after a minute and takes like 50 pictures of you, firstly to remind himself of this moment and secondly to tease you with them afterwards

yes he likes you a lot but he would never not tease you🤭

sets one picture that came out well (in his opinion) as his background wallpaper

PARK GUNWOOK

inner panic

screaming inside his head

trying DESPERATELY to control his face muscles- he feels so many emotions at once, he might break his face if he allows all of them to show now😭

but he can't fight the redness on his cheeks HEHEHEHE

ready to hush everyone with that unnecessarily loud "SHHHH" and a death glare if anyone dares to make a sound 👹

he tells himself that he should be confident rn, as you, HIS CRUSH, just fell asleep on him during a study session in the library

… wait. you fell asleep. during a study session.

he's flustered, head over heels in love, ready to marry AND kind of upset now😒

HAN YUJIN

you're on a schooltrip and you're sitting next to each other on the ride back

his eyes went as wide as a saucer as soon as your head hits his shoulder, he didn't even notice you falling asleep because he was busy playing a game on his phone

literally as stiff as a board and more awkward than ever

of course he finds this whole thing kind of cute but… pls give him a notice like 1 week in advance so he can mentally prepare himself for this next time

puts his baseball hat on your head in order to save your eyes from the blazing sun or something idk he saw it in all those romance kdramas

he may looks like he wants you to wake up to everybody else, but he actually wants to spend more time like this (maybe in private next time *cough*) 💔

#zb1 headcanons #zb1 x reader #zb1 scenarios #zerobaseone #zb1 reactions #zerobaseone reactions #zb1 #ricky shen x reader #kim gyuvin x reader #park gunwook x reader #han yujin x reader #ricky x reader

[cidnangarlond]

some of these r people I made up some are based on actual mutuals or inspired by posts if not directly drawn from them but know I came up with these out of love. I love uuu my mutuals

mutual 1: made more art of the war criminal as a catboy in the style of Cabanel's The Fallen Angel. drawn in a fugue state in 2 hours

mutual 2: wrote a little poem as I waited at the bus stop *one of the most heart-wrenching poems you've ever read*

mutual 3: I NEED SLOPPY FROM THAT OLD MAN NOW‼️

mutual 4: I NEED SLOPPY FROM THAT OLD WOMAN NOW‼️

mutual 5: inventing a new kind of drug *photo of a joint made from columbo-themed rolling papers*

mutual 6: if this team scores against mine again I'm flying to their stadium to personally blow them all up

mutual 7: now see her sillay *photo of their cat everyone knows by name*

mutual 8: now see her sillay *photo of their car on fire*

mutual 6: which one of y'all reported me to the authorities I WAS JOKING

mutual 9: dnd session today if glumpus and glumpo don't resolve their sibling issues and put it behind them then the world is gonna end they are LITERALLY having this much beef and a character is already dead in the middle of this fight to save the world

mutual 10: I'm gonna have glumpo fuck old woman cheddar tonight

mutual 11: they were insane for this one *screenshot of them listening to the alphabet on youtube*

mutual 12: look at my son *oc everyone knows by name and loves*

mutual 13: hey guys staff terminated me again because they said my repeating replying to dumb as shit tumblr ads with the wikipedia article text for japanese giant salamanders was "harassment" reblog to help me find my followers again

mutual 14: hey guys my blog got nuked because I told a proshipper to kill themselves reblog to help me find my followers again

mutual 15: *callout post for mutual 14*

mutual 16: *20 reblogs in a row of art of dio brando with huge tits*

mutual 17: did a quick makeup test for the show! only took me half an hour this time ^_^ *photos of intricate professional-level work to make them look like a skeleton*

mutual 18: going to the arctic to find out if those men fucked on the doomed expedition wish me luck 👍🏻

mutual 19: hey guys we haven't heard from mutual 18 in a week I think they were serious

mutual 20: i think i hauve covid *photo of a sheet of white paper*

mutual 21: if I don't get to see this band in concert I'm making a pipe bomb (FOR LEGAL REASONS THIS IS /J)

mutual 22: got high with my manager on break and why's he kinda... like he's married (for now) butWIAT THE BUILDING IS ON FIRE

mutual 18: in the arctic just killed a seal. I've never felt more alive

mutual 23: just got to heavensward sooo excited to play this expac... heard it's crazy good

mutual 24: hey mutual 23 what do you think about haurchefant

mutual 23: he's my favorite. why

mutual 25: DYING POSTPONED I JUST HAD THE BEST SOUP EVER!!!!!!!!

mutual 26: LOOK AT MY WOL BOY *picture of their warrior of light with massive boobs*

you: awesome *reblogs it*

#addendum the war criminal mentioned he's fictional I'm not. mutuals w someone drawing art of real ones. before anyone says anything #because I know how people can be sometimes. anyway

[feelmyskinonyourskin]

Pink Roses [Fake Dating Trope]

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Trope de Sept Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Fake Dating situation 1. Two characters pretend to date for some purpose such as social gain, only for real feelings to get involved at some point "Bucky asked you to pretend to be his girlfriend to keep his elderly sister happy. You’re just platonic friends/coworkers, what could possibly go wrong?"

Warnings: Lil’ bit of angst into a happy ending. Reader uses fem pronouns and is referred to as ‘girlfriend’. No use of y/n. Friends to lovers. Reader spends Christmas and Easter with Bucky but doesn’t necessarily celebrate them herself, but they are mentioned.

WC: 7,000 baby!!!! Kicking off the Trope De Sept event strong!

*I never give permission for my fics, manips, or any other original creation I post on this site to be copied, posted elsewhere, translated, or fed into any AI program. The only platform I currently post anything on is Tumblr. Thanks!*

“Thank you for the flowers by the way, they are beautiful.” Rebecca sighed, playing with the pink petals of the roses in front of her

“Of course Rebecca,” you responded. “Bucky picked them.”

“Oh my, he has good taste. He gets you flowers right?”

“Oh…” her question caught you off guard.

Bucky had merely introduced you by name when you arrived with him to visit his sister for Christmas. You assumed he had warned her he was bringing a coworker, but she seemed to not have gotten the memo and thought your relationship with her brother was something else.

“All the time, Becca. Mom raised me right.” he said, giving you a playful wink as he did

It was a lie, but Rebecca didn’t catch on.

“See I knew my brother was a gentleman. Oh he is so lucky to have you in his life.”

You shot Bucky a curious look and he merely shrugged in response.

The reason you were there with him at all began a few days before, right before Christmas.

“Hey Bucky, just heading out. See you in the New Year!” you said, tying your scarf tightly around your neck, ready to leave the Avengers compound for the two week break from work.

“Hey yeah! Have a good winter break! You got any big plans?” he asked

“No. Keeping it quiet this year.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah I just…I got so sick of my family asking me the same thing and all my cousins flaunting engagement rings, and wedding plans, and ultrasounds, that I just don’t even bother going home for holidays anymore.”

“Oh yeah, I get it. You should meet my sister. I’m going to see her on Christmas and all she does is worry about me. She’s convinced I’m unhappy because I’m single. She literally tries to set me up with every new nurse they hire at her nursing home and I just know most of the Christmas dinner conversation is going to be asking me when I’m going to find someone nice to settle down with.”

“Oh gosh that sounds fun.” you said with a chuckle

“Hey if you don’t have any big Christmas plans, would you want to come with me? My sister loves company and we can even get takeout afterwards. You know, just so you don’t have to spend Christmas alone?”

“Bucky, that’s very sweet of you. I’d love to. Your sister sounds amazing. I can't wait to meet her.”

“Great. Yeah Rebecca’s a fun time. She’s 98 and still smart as a whip. You’ll love her!”

“Okay sounds like a plan.”

The Crown Heights Senior Living Center knew how to throw a Christmas party, with Rebecca Barnes leading the charge on the caroling group and Bucky helping her coordinate the gift exchange.

You couldn’t remember the last time you’d had such a fun time, with a group of octogenarians no less.

“Wow Rebecca! How did Bucky keep a pet racoon in the attic for a whole week without your mother noticing?”

“Well that old Brownstone we lived in was solid. They don’t build them like that anymore. The walls were so thick it took her a while to figure out where the scratching noises were coming from.”

“Yeah well she also got suspicious when I swiped an extra serving of her meatloaf and ran upstairs with it right after dinner.” Bucky chimed in

“Speaking of, Becs they’ll be serving your dinner soon and we’re getting hungry too.” Bucky said, standing and giving his sister a kiss on the forehead

“Darling, it was lovely to meet you.” Rebecca said to you, then turned to her brother “James, please bring your girlfriend around more often, she’s a treat.”

You and Bucky smiled at her and departed the room, making your way down the tinsel decorated hall.

“Awe, she thinks I’m your girlfriend!” you teasingly commented, playfully smacking his arm

“Yeah well, literally every time I visit, she’s trying to set me up with a new nurse they’ve hired and she’s always asking me when I’m going to find someone nice to settle down with.”

“I think it’s sweet.”

“Now when I come back to visit next week, she’s gonna ask about you and I’m gonna have to break her heart and tell her I’m still alone and destitute. I…” Bucky trailed off

“What?”

“It’s a dumb idea.”

“What is?”

“What if we… look this might be crazy but. Would you want to, you know, pretend to be my girlfriend? Just come with me to the nursing home every once in a while on like holidays and things? Just to keep my sister happy. I mean she’s 98 years old, there’s not a lot left going on in her life and I’ve literally never seen her more excited.”

“Okay. This is either going to go really well or really poorly. Either way I wanna see it. So yeah. Let’s do it.”

You saw Bucky at work nearly everyday in the New Year, exchanging pleasantries and making small talk like all coworkers do. At the beginning of February, he brought up his sister again, mentioning that she asked about you and asking if you’d like to join him to visit her again on Valentine's Day. You agreed.

Bucky gave your front door three knocks and you swung it open to greet him, still fiddling with the clasp on your necklace as you got ready.

“Hey, I’ll be ready in a few.” you said as he entered your apartment, stopping in your tracks as you noticed the bouquet he held in his metal arm.

Pink roses, just like the one’s he’d brought Rebecca at Christmas.

“Oh these are for you.” he said, noticing your gaze traveling to them

“For me? But…”

“Don’t worry I have another bouquet for Becca.” he said, pulling an identical bouquet from behind his back “But at Christmas I told her I got you flowers all the time, so I figured I actually should, you know, not be a liar.”

“Not be a… Bucky, we are quite literally about to go see her and lie to her a bunch! You know, about us.” you gestured between the two of you

Bucky laughed and shook his head.

“Fair, but why lie about one more thing? And besides, I think I owe you more than just a thank you for doing all this.”

“Fair.” you said, mimicking his tone and taking the bouquet from him

As you filled a glass vase in the sink and placed the roses in it, Bucky stepped behind you, grabbing the necklace from where you had placed it on the counter and wordlessly fastened it around your neck.

A chill ran down your spine as his fingers fiddled with the clasp, finally connecting it with the hook and pressing his palm against the back of your neck to lay it flat.

“Now I know you aren’t just spending such a romantic holiday just visiting an old lady. What are your plans? James, how are you romancing your lady today?”

You and Bucky looked at each other nervously. You hadn’t really discussed backstory or any other thing she might want to know about your relationship.

“I’ll tell you later Rebecca, don’t want to ruin any surprises!” Bucky finally spoke up, and you made a point to reach for his right hand, intertwining your fingers with his like any couple might and put on an excited look on your face for the non-existent Valentines plans. His palm was warm as he rubbed his thumb in delicate circles around your hand.

“Oh good! Well don’t let me keep you kids too long!” she exclaimed, shooing you out the door of her room

“Okay we really need to discuss more backstory and stuff before we come here. She’s asking too many questions.” he commented as you walked down the hall

“Bucky, maybe this is a bad idea. Your sister is so sweet and I feel bad lying to her like this.”

“Hey, look, she's happy because she thinks I’m happy. We can call this off if you want, but I really think it’d break her heart if I tell her we broke up. Please, just a few more visits? Just so she doesn’t think I’m totally alone.”

“But you are.”

Bucky shot you a look that you’d only ever seen when Sam got on his nerves.

You gnawed at your bottom lip and gave it some thought, Bucky’s blue eyes staring you down. “Okay. But we need to come up with more of a back story. Let’s go grab a cup of coffee and set some ground rules?”

“It’s a date.”

Your eyes went wide at the word date.

“Sorry. It’s a ‘platonic coworkers pretending to date’ not-date.” he said with a grin

“Fine, but you’re buying.”

“It’s Valentine's Day, it'd be absolutely ungentlemanly of me to not.”

The coffee shop around the corner was decorated for the occasion, with heart-shaped foil garland cascading from the ceiling and a cupid chalk drawing taking up a large portion of the menu board.

The barista topped your hot chocolate’s whipped cream with red and pink sprinkles and Bucky chuckled at the foam heart she drew into the top of his latte.

Every other table seemed to be occupied by couples, all looking gooey-eyed at each other and whispering sweet nothings across the small marble tables.

You were so busy taking in all the displays of love that Bucky had to clear his throat to get your attention, arms stretched out behind you reaching for your coat.

“Oh gosh sorry.” you said, shrugging out of it as he placed it on the hook on the wall and then pulled the wooden chair out for you to sit.

“Shit, your sister is right, you are a good boyfriend.” you said

Bucky rolled his eyes with a smirk and took his seat across from you.

“Okay.” you said, placing your palms on the table in front of you “ground rules.”

“Right, if you want to add a third to the bedroom, it has to be Sam. We made a pact a while back, it’s a long story but sorry it’s the only way...”

“Bucky!”

“Shit doll, sorry! I was kidding! I mean kind of, Sam and I did sort of agree…”

“Bucky!” you cut him off “Look if you don’t want to take this seriously, then fine I can just go and call it here. This is for you and your sister after all.”

“No, dammit I’m sorry, you’re right. Okay, go ahead.” Bucky replied

“Well we need to establish a backstory. And know a little more about each other so it doesn’t seem suspicious.”

“Okay. You go first. Ask anything you want to know about me.”

“Okay um. What’s your favorite color?”

“Really? You think what’s gonna make us not believable is whether or not you know my favorite color?” he looked at you in disbelief

“I don’t know! What else do couples know about each other?”

“Not sure. I haven’t dated regularly since 1943. It’s blue, by the way. What’s yours?” He responded

“Purple. Is that your usual coffee order?”

“In the winter, yes. In summer, I go for iced coffee.”

“Okay. Um. I guess it might be more important to have some facts about us. As a couple.”

“Right. Like what?”

“Well like where was our first kiss? Or our first date?” you asked

“In Central Park under the Cherry Blossoms. I’m romantic like that.”

“Bucky you told her we just started dating in the fall…”

“Fine, in Central Park under the orange leaves.”

“Who said I love you first?”

“You, obviously” he replied

That made you roll your eyes “Why is it obviously me?”

“Do I seem like the kind of guy to be open with his feelings?”

“No, you're the quietest on the team. It took four months of me working with the Avengers for you to return my good morning greeting everyday with even a nod of acknowledgement.”

Bucky raised his eyebrows as if to say “see I’m right”

“Fine. What’s the most romantic thing you've ever done for me?”

“Decorated your Christmas tree while you were at work.”

“I didn’t have a Christmas tree.”

“Well since all of this is pretend, let’s pretend you did.”

“Fine. While we’re on the subject, what did we get each other for the holidays?”

“I got you that necklace.” he nodded in your direction to the string of delicate pearls he helped you put on earlier. In reality, it’d been a gift you got yourself for your most recent birthday, but you were fine with the alternate story.

“Fine. I guess I got you a Frank Sinatra album for your record player.”

“How’d you know I have a record player?”

“Lucky guess.”

“Is it because I’m old?”

“I mean, yeah maybe…”

He sat back in his chair, looking thoroughly unamused.

“Since I know she’s going to ask next time you see her, what did you do to woo me on Valentine’s Day?” you asked

“Took you to a coffee shop and got you pink roses.” he gestured at the cafe around you, a proud smile on his face

“You know what, it’s actually the best Valentine’s Day I’ve ever had.” you said with a grin

“See, I am good at this boyfriend thing. What else should we know?”

“What side of the bed do you sleep on?” you asked

“Trick question, neither. I sleep on the floor because of my nightmares.”

“Bucky thats…” you trailed off

“Hey, it's something my girlfriend would know.” Bucky said so casually, as if he had not opened up to you and revealed something incredibly sad and personal about himself.

“Right. Um… what else do you and Rebecca talk about? That way you can think of things to weave into conversation about us that make us seem real.”

“Honestly, we talk a lot about our childhood. She helps me remember a lot of things I’ve forgot thanks to the, ya know” he pointed to his head

You nodded in understanding.

“Anyway, like last week she told me a story I’d totally forgotten about the time Steve and I snuck into the movies and when we got caught, we pretended we didn’t speak English to avoid getting in trouble.”

You listened as Bucky shared more stories about his life in the 30s and 40s, eventually laughing so much and talking so long, the cafe employees had to ask you to leave so they could close up for the evening.

He rode the subway with you to your stop and even walked you to your door as if he were really your Valentine’s date. You felt much better about seeing Rebecca again, confident now that you and Bucky could convincably appear as a real couple after today.

By the time Easter rolled around, you’d established a solid back story and even hung out with Bucky a few times outside of your work relationship to get to know each other better. You always loved every visit with his sister and hanging out with him felt easy.

You were, however, very nervous when Mother’s Day came. You’d finally be meeting Rebecca’s children and grandchildren, all of whom loved their Uncle Bucky, but loved Rebecca even more.

“You seem nervous.” Bucky commented

You had been silent but fidgety the whole subway ride from your apartment to the nursing home. Bucky, of course, picked you up at your front door every time you met, even though it was out of his way from his place to the nursing home.

“I am.” you replied

“Why? Becs loves you. She’s excited to see you again.”

“Yes but I’m meeting everyone else and it’s making me anxious.”

“Why?”

“Because they love you and your sister a lot. I want them to like me”

“I like you so they'll like you.”

“Bucky, you’re only pretending to like me! I love your sister, but it feels a lot easier to trick one old lady than to trick a bunch of people at once into believing we’re real!”

“Okay. First, I do like you. I promise, that part is not pretend.” You know he just meant it platonically, but it still made you blush.

“Secondly,” he continued “Rebecca is the sharpest person I know, so if she’s convinced, then they will be too.”

“I’m still worried they’re gonna find out and kill me.”

“Hey” he reassured “They won’t find out and they won’t kill you and even if they try, like they’re gonna get past me.” he wiggled his metal fingers in your face.

“She hasn’t said anything right? Like she isn’t getting suspicious?”

“Doll, take a chill pill. Even if she figures it out, it’s on me not you. I’m her brother, remember?”

“I know but Bucky she’s been so sweet and nice to me and I adore her and I don’t want to let her down!”

“You won’t, now just relax.”

Rebecca’s son, Scott, had prepared a fabulous meal and as you all sat around a table in the community room of the nursing home eating, her daughter Kim gave a beautiful speech about how Rebecca taught her to be a great mom and how loved she was by the family.

Tears sprung to your eyes at just how loved and revered this woman was and how lucky you felt to know her, even if it was under the false pretense of being her brother’s girlfriend.

Bucky noticed you getting emotional and placed an arm around your back, absentmindedly rubbing circles with his hand in comfort as Kim continued to speak. You shot him a look of thanks and winked at him as you saw tears welling behind his eyes as well.

After dinner had been cleared and dessert had been served, you were locked in a pleasant conversation with Bucky’s grandniece Jenny.

“I don’t know, maybe I should change my major…”

“Well, you’re young. Lots of people take years to figure it out.” you replied

“Uh oh.” she exclaimed, pointing toward the door “Looks like you’ve got some competition.”

Bucky was standing in the hall, deep in conversation with one of the nurses, who was throwing her head back in fits of laughter at whatever he was saying to her, and playfully touching his arm.

“Well, you know Bucky, he’s just… friendly.” you shrugged it off, trying to not let the interaction bother you

Jenny gave you a quizzical look, knowing that was a bold-faced lie and Bucky was the most surly and quiet person either of you had ever met. Except around you and Rebecca, of course.

“So tell me more about your thesis,” you said, directing the conversation back and hoping to distract yourself from whatever it was Bucky was doing

The subway ride back to your apartment was mostly silent, which wasn’t abnormal for him, except all you could think about was the way that nurse was with him, and more importantly, how he was with her. The way his eyes crinkled when he smiled at her, how he had leaned into her touch everytime she placed a hand on his arm, how they had talked nearly the whole afternoon.

“So David told me he and Shelby are expecting.” Bucky said, finally breaking the silence

“David and …? Oh yeah, Scott’s oldest.” you said, still mentally trying to keep all of Bucky’s nieces, nephews, and their kids straight in your mind, having just met all of them in one go today.

“Yeah. Which means Rebecca is going to be a great-grandmother.” he continued

“Oh my gosh that’s right! That’s so great! Did they tell her?”

“Yeah. She was pretty excited. Then of course, she asked me when you and I are going to start…” he said

“Oh yeah? What did you say to her?”

“Told her we’d get to it eventually. That we were still enjoying being young and in love.”

“Bucky, you’re 106…”

A smile formed across his face and he shook his head.

“You know what I meant!”

“Well we’ll never fictitiously get around to it if you for-real flirt with nurses.” you snidely commented

“Ohhh not my pretend girlfriend pretending to be jealous!” he joked back

“I’m not jealous, Bucky, I’m just trying to keep up appearances. But I don’t blame you, she was cute.”

“Yeah she was.”

“Okay serious question, what if one of us gets into a real relationship?” you asked

“Why are you planning to?”

“No, I mean I wouldn’t complain, but I don’t exactly have any great prospects right now.”

“I don’t either.”

“Um, that nurse was absolutely a prospect.” you argued back

“Doll, will you drop it with the nurse already?”

“No. Look, if you want to be for-real happy and quit lying to your sister, I think you should ask the nurse out. This has been fun, but don’t let us pretending to date hold you back from an actual relationship.”

Bucky sighed and hung his head.

“Okay. When I visit Rebecca this week, I will ask the nurse out. Just to get you off my back about it.” he conceded

“Well just be sure to add in the fact that you have prospects lined up when you tell your sister we broke up, just to soften the blow.” you joked

“Wow, you make it sound like I have women out the door, just waiting in line for me.” Bucky joked

You could if you wanted, you’re a fucking catch, is what you wanted to say, but instead just chose to lightly chuckle at Bucky’s joke.

“I think I will wait and see if the nurse says yes and if she does, see how the date goes before breaking it to my sister. And if it goes bad, at least I still have you.”

“Wow, make a girl feel more special to be your backup plan, why don’t you?” you joked

“You know what I mean! Wait, you will still keep this up for me if the nurse says no right?”

You sighed.

“Yes. I’ve actually really been having fun spending time with your sister.”

And you, you wanted to add, but again, didn't.

“But I do want you to be happy, so I will sacrifice hanging out with the coolest 98 year old I’ve ever met if it means you get a for-real girlfriend and stop being a grumpy, lonely old man.”

“Thanks doll, you’re the best.”

Things at work got hectic that week and you didn’t see Bucky until midway through the next week.

You were sitting at your computer, combing some case files when Bucky snuck up behind you.

“So things got complicated…”

“Jesus, Bucky, don’t scare me like that!” you said, practically jumping out of your seat when he spoke

“Sorry!”

“Wait, complicated how?”

“Well I asked the nurse out. And she said yes. And apparently it was the hot topic in the nursing home all weekend. And my sister asked why I was two-timing you. So I had to tell her we broke up.”

Your heart sank at the thought of not hanging out with Bucky and Rebecca anymore.

“Okay. Well, we knew that might have to happen. And the nurse?”

“Her name is Maddie, by the way. And we went out last night.”

“And?”

“It went well. She was nice and it was fun and we’re going to go out again this weekend.”

“Bucky, that’s great. I’m really happy for you.” you replied, trying to truly mean it and push your own feelings towards the situation aside.

But your mind just raced with worry about how well it actually went. Did he mean it went well like it was an agreeable evening and they talked a few hours and went their separate ways? Or did he mean it went well like she got to find out if his lips were as soft as they actually look? It went well like they hooked up and had steamy sex and she got to feel how his toned muscles felt under her hands while he brought her to ecstasy the way you’d always imagined and … no. You needed to stop. It was a bad idea to think about him that way. Especially since he now belonged to someone else, and never really belonged to you in the first place.

“Doll, I really can’t thank you enough.” Bucky spoke and broke you out of your spiraling thoughts “Rebecca had so much fun with you and you know… I think pretending to date you might have actually given me the confidence to ask Maddie out. Don’t know if I thought I could be a good real boyfriend without being a good fake one first.”

You laughed and shook your head.

“Well I’m happy to have helped. And by the way, yeah you were a phenomenal fake boyfriend. Better than most of the real ones I’ve had.”

You tried not to let the tears come to your eyes that you could feel brimming to the surface. You were just sad to say goodbye to Rebecca, that’s all. She was so special and spending time with her was a gift. It helped that Bucky was also so charming and funny, but it was absolutely just about Rebecca. Afterall, you’d still get to see Bucky at work. You wouldn’t really talk as in-depth as when you were with his sister and hanging out in service of keeping up the lie, but it would be fine.

However, much to your disappointment, it seemed like after that conversation, Bucky avoided you like you two had actually been a couple and actually broken up. He wouldn’t look you in the eye during mission briefings, wouldn’t say more than two words to you and they were always related to work, and if he ever found himself alone in a room with you, he quickly found an excuse to leave.

It had been about two months since you had “broken up” and you had given up hope of even having any sort of friendship with Bucky. But the truth was, you missed him. You missed making fun of him when he made a reference so outdated, historians wouldn’t even get it. You missed the way his smile rose more on his right side when you’d crack a joke. You missed when he’d sing along to one of Rebecca’s records and try to dance with both you and her at the same time, inevitably spinning you into each other and ending in the three of you in a fit of giggles.

You tried not to think of it though, threw yourself into work and tried to forget. But you couldn’t. Everything reminded you of him.

And you tried not to think about how much you missed him as you watched him walk onto the ramp of a quinjet, prepping to take off for a ten day mission to take down a Hydra base in Latvia.

Six days later, you were in your apartment, making your evening cup of tea when your phone rang.

You picked it up and put it down three times before finally processing that it was Bucky’s name popping up on the screen. With the time zone difference, it had to at least be three in the morning where he was.

“Bucky?” you finally answered “Is everything okay?”

“No. Doll, it’s not.”

“What happened? Are you okay? Is Sam okay? Did something go wrong?” you panicked, knowing of all the hundreds of people the Avengers employed, you were not the person to call if something went wrong with the mission.

“No, it’s Rebecca. She um…” Bucky sounded on the verge of crying and your heart broke in an instant “Kim called and Rebecca is in the hospital. I didn’t get all the details, but it’s not good.”

“Bucky, I’m so sorry.”

“Listen, I know I’ve already asked so much of you, but can you please… Can I ask you to go for me? Go see her? Sam and I are trying to wrap up as quick as we can, but I just can’t bear the thought of not being there with her and she loved you so much and I know you being there would really mean a lot to both of us.”

You had never heard Bucky ramble like that before. His voice was shaky and unsure and it broke your heart.

“Okay. Of course I can go.” you replied without hesitation. You loved Rebecca too, of course you wanted to be with her.

“Thank you. So much. Really. I’ll text you the room number and the hospital. I’ll let Kim and Scott know you’re coming too.”

“Okay.”

“And um… I just wanted to say I’m sorry. For how it’s been lately.”

“Bucky, It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not. But um, we can talk more when I get back.”

“Okay. I’ll go see her now, just text me.”

You were pulling on your shoes already when Bucky’s text came through. You were out the door and to the hospital in less than twenty minutes.

Kim greeted you with a big hug when you arrived.

“Oh, she’ll be so excited to see you!” Kim said, leading you down the hall of the hospital towards Rebecca’s room “You know, she still talks about you all the time even though you two broke up a while ago.”

You tried to bite back a smile, not wanting to feel happy in such a grim situation. But knowing at least Rebecca missed your presence and made sure Bucky didn’t forget you lightened your mood just a little.

Any hint of a grin was knocked off your face as soon as you stepped in the room. Rebecca was looking quite different from when you last saw her. Usually so healthy and spry for her age, she looked frail in the thin hospital gown, laying limply in the bed in the middle of the sterile room. Her gray curls were not in their usual coiff, but unkempt and wild. Her eyes looked sallow and dull. But her beautiful smile still came through when she saw you walk into the room.

“Oh my dear!” she reached out a shaky hand toward you. “It is so good to see you!”

Her hand wrapped around yours and she patted it a few times.

“How have you been? Oh, I’ve missed you! You know I was just saying to James the other day, it was a shame he let such a gem like you go.”

“Rebecca, that’s very kind, but how are you? Are you resting? Are you feeling better?”

“Oh, don’t worry about me. I was fine, but the nurses at the home, they called an ambulance and made me come here!”

“Mom, you passed out and your heartbeat was at 22 bpms!” Kim interjected

Rebecca waved her hand, then turned back to you.

“Where is James? Did you come with him?” she asked

“No. He’s away on a mission, but he’ll be here as soon as he can. He asked me to come see you until he could get here.”

“Oh that’s so kind of you. You know, he really loved you. I could see it every time he looked at you and every time I’d ask about you he’d talk and talk. I told him to hold on to you, but, well my brother never wants to listen to me!”

“Mom!” Kim interrupted again and you couldn’t help but chuckle. Even in this state, Rebecca’s personality was still shining through.

You caught up a little more, filling Rebecca and Kim in on your life since you last saw them.

Finally, Rebecca’s eyes kept closing mid-sentence and you and Kim left her to get more rest.

As you and Kim walked down the hall of the hospital together, she filled you in more on Rebecca’s health and explained that Scott and Jenny were also taking shifts visiting, currently hanging out in the waiting room down the hall.

“Sweetie, it’s getting late, let me give you some money so you can get a cab home.”

“No, Kim, I’ll stay here with you guys tonight.”

“You don’t have to…”

“Please? Just until Bucky calls again. Maybe by morning we’ll have a better idea of when he’ll be back.”

Kim nodded and gave your arm a light squeeze in thanks.

The waiting room was small and featured dated furniture and peeling wallpaper set under the glow of harsh fluorescent lights. Scott was asleep, curled in an uncomfortable position in a chair in the corner. Jenny flashed you a tired smile as you entered. You sat on one of the worn couches and laid your head back, attempting to drift off into sleep.

The night was rather restless, dozing in and out, but never really getting pulled into sleep fully. Between the buzz of hospital employees rushing about, the cramped sleeping arrangement, and the worry chewing in the pit of your stomach about both Rebecca and Bucky, it was far too difficult to get solid rest.

Would Rebecca be okay? How would Bucky act towards you when he got back? Would things go back to being friendly between you as a thanks for being there for his family or would he simply continue to ignore you and act as though this also didn’t happen?

You must have finally gotten to sleep, because you were pulled out of slumber by a metal hand squeezing yours and a soft calling of your name by a familiar voice.

Your eyes shot open to find Bucky, crouched down in front of you, face meeting yours as he gently woke you. Despite the exhaustion painted on his face, he was a radiant light in the otherwise dim environment.

“Bucky!” you sat upright and pulled him into a tight hug

“Hey Doll.” he said, squeezing you so tightly you thought you’d burst like a can of Pillsbury Crescent Rolls.

“How did the mission go? When did you get back? Have you been in to see your sister yet?” you asked

Bucky shook his head.

“We can talk about the mission later. Thank you so much for being here.”

“How is Rebecca?” you asked

“I… um. I don’t know. I just got here and came to see you guys first.” he nodded toward the sleeping forms around you.

“You should go see her. Hopefully she got plenty of rest over night.”

Bucky shook his head some more.

“I don’t know if I can… she’s the last thing I have of my old life. I don’t know if I can bear to see her like that.”

“Bucky, she needs you. She wants to see you, she asked where you were last night.”

Bucky sighed, wetness welling in his worn blue eyes.

“I’ll go with you.” you volunteered

“Doll, you’ve already done so much. I can’t ask another thing of you.”

“Please, Bucky, I want to be there for you. And for her.”

He nodded and took your hand in his flesh one, helping you off the couch and not letting go as you walked down the hall together towards Rebecca's room.

She was sitting upright in bed and her face lit up at the sight of you and her brother, nearly spilling the applesauce the nurses brought her for breakfast into her lap.

Bucky finally let go of your hand, giving his sister a hug much more gentle than the one he gave you.

“Oh James, you know you didn’t have to rush away from work just to come see me!”

“Becca, yes I did!” he smiled

“Well, your girlfriend had things covered here.” she gestured towards you

“Oh, Becs no, we’re not back together.” Bucky explained

“Oh? But why not?” Rebecca asked

“It's not important right now. What’s important right now is getting you healthy.”

Rebecca smiled and shook her head.

“James, it is important right now. I’ve lived a lot of years and I’ve learned the most important thing in life is holding the ones you love close to you. I learned that when my big brother ‘died’ at war. I learned that when my children grew up too fast and moved away. I learned that with every grandchild born and held in my arms. And I learned that when you came back into my life after so many years.”

“Rebecca…” Bucky spoke, but she held up her hand to cut him off.

“I don’t know why you two broke up or what happened. But what I do know is how much the two of you clearly love each other. Look, James, I’m old. I know I don’t have much time left. But you, you have a life to live still and running away from the good things is not what your baby sister wants for you.”

“Rebecca, this is a conversation for her and I and another time.” Bucky argued

“You know for being my older brother, you sure aren’t wiser than me.”

“Wow, even sick in the hospital, still trying the younger sibling thing.” Bucky joked back

A knock at the door took the three of you from the conversation as a cheery nurse stepped inside the room.

“I’m so sorry to interrupt, but I need to run a few tests the doctor ordered. It’ll only take a little while.” he explained.

Bucky sighed and gave his sister a kiss on her temple, then gestured for you to step out with him.

Once in the hall he finally broke down completely, the stress of the past few days catching up to him.

You cradled his head in your arms as he sobbed, knowing the longer the two of you stayed like this, the longer you could put off having a conversation.

“Can we go for a walk?” he asked, finally calm enough to stand and wipe the tears from his eyes

You nodded and took his hand again, leading him out to the front of the hospital into the sunshine.

A few open benches along the sidewalk provided a place for the two of you to sit. Still, it took a few minutes for Bucky to finally speak up.

“I’m sorry I let it get like this between us.” Bucky mumbled, barely loud enough for you to hear.

“Bucky, please. We don’t have to do this right now. You should be worrying about your sister, not me.”

“No, Doll, Rebecca’s right.”

“Yeah?”

“About everything.” he nodded his head “About life. About us. But don’t tell her I said that, or she’ll never let me live it down.”

You giggled.

“I wanted it to be real. Not at first, but after a while. When she tells you a story about us as kids and you smile at me the way you do. Or when your eyes light up when I make up a lie about the latest romantic thing I did. I wanted it all to be real. And I still do.”

“I wanted it to be real too.” you confessed “But if you wanted that, then why did you not just ask me out for real instead of Maddie?”

“Because, like Rebecca said, I was running away from the good things. I was scared that after everything I’ve been through, no one would stick around knowing all of that about me. But then you did, and it scared the hell out of me. And I wasn’t sure if I was reading it all wrong. Asked Maddie out as an excuse to push you away. I thought maybe avoiding you would make me get over it, but it didn’t, it just made me miss you.”

“And Maddie?”

“We went on a few dates and it was fun, but of course, I kept her at a distance. Didn’t want to let her in like I did with you. So she broke it off with me after a while.”

You chuckled and shook your head.

“You know, the leaves in Central Park aren’t quite orange yet, but it’s still a nice time of year for a first date there.”

“Yeah. It is. For real this time?”

“For real this time.” you agreed “But let’s worry about getting Rebecca healthy first.”

“I bet if we go up and tell her we’re back together, she’ll run out of that room and steal a cab just to make sure we make it to Central Park today.” he joked

You softly pressed your lips against his, feeling him melt into your kiss as the tension between the two of you these last few months finally evaporated.

When you finally pulled apart, you realized now you were the one crying, relieved that things between the two of you worked out.

Rebecca was released from the hospital a few days later, new medication bringing her health back into balance and making her as vivacious as ever. She was even well enough to join you and Bucky in Central Park for your 8th date, though she didn’t know that, as you and Bucky decided it was best not to tell her about the lie even now. And of course, when Bucky and Rebecca stepped out of the cab on 5th Avenue, he held two bouquets of pink roses in his hands.

#bucky barnes #bucky x reader #sebastian stan #bucky barnes x reader #winter soldier #fatws #mcu #marvel fic #bucky x fem reader #trope de sept #trope #fake dating

[softpascalito]

javier peña x f!dea!reader - we got your back - chapter 2

Summary: You work as a new DEA agent alongside Peña and Murphy. A not-so-kind colleague reveals more about you than you would like. Also, who the hell is still in the office in the middle of the night?

Relationships: Javier Peña x FemReader

WC: ~2800

Tags/Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Slow burn, mention of canon-typical violence, no beta we die like Colonel Carrillo, family Issues, they arent specified but reader is implied to be from a dysfunctional family, Steve is here too, literal sleeping together, one bed trope if you squint, tac vest javi

AO3 LINK // PART 1 // PART 3 (on tumblr)

Notes:

helllooo! i am really proud of this chapter and ofc i had to put tac vest javi in because i am a slut <3 comments are very welcome, have a great day!

spanish translations can be found at the end :)

_______________________________

Chapter 2

The rest of the day passes without any hiccups. You can only assume that either Javi or Steve have made good of their promise to make sure that Raquel doesn't bother you again. You can't say you regret it.

Throughout the afternoon, you find both men glancing over at you more frequently, evidently making sure you're okay. Noone mentions the events that took place in the same room mere hours before. Not that anyone other than Steve and Javi really cared. Office gossip existed just as it did anywhere else but so far, you had steered clear from it. The DEA section had more important things to do either way.

You watch the clock go by. You can't really see the sunset from the office. The windows aren't very large to begin with and the curtains are always required to be closed. Safety and all that. As a few wayward rays of the sunshine steal their way into the office, most of your coworkers start packing up. You don't.

When you had arrived in Bogotá after a long flight and a daunting drive to your apartment, you had stood in your new home in shock. The embassy had apartments of all sorts all over the city. It was helpful to use different comunas for safehouses. Most agents lived in the northern part of the city in fancy highrise buildings guarded by fences and security. Some, especially the ones that were doing a lot of undercover work, had apartments in slightly more dangerous places. As did you. It was a tiny bit closer to the embassy than the northern city apartments. The first few nights you had barely slept, scared that someone would break down your door. Judging by the way it hung off the hinges slightly, it wouldn't take a lot of effort. Then there were the gunshots. They weren't uncommon, really, but they still scared the shit out of you. You knew how to handle yourself in combat, you'd successfully completed the grueling weeks of DEA training after all, but gunshots during a raid with a bulletproof vest strapped to your chest were something different from gunshots during your dinner time at the small, wooden table with nothing but your pajamas on. Or worse, when you were sleeping. Or at least trying to. You don't even notice that Steve is leaving until you hear Javier call after him:” Give Connie my best.” He looks after his partner for a moment before his gaze wanders over to you. When your eyes meet, you quickly force yourself to look away. The files in front of you. You're not sure how long this one has been on your desk but you don't seem to be making any progress. Whenever the search bloc finds something that could be of importance, you are given 24 hours to look through it, make copies and find any potential clues. So that is what you're doing. The murky paper in your hands feels like it's going to suffocate you. But between this and another sleepless night at your apartment, you feel like the choice is an obvious one. Javier is still looking at you. You can feel his gaze on you as you try and continue reading the file. Has he noticed you've read the same page about four times? “You should go home too. Get some rest.” His voice rips you out of your thoughts and back into the present. You simply shake your head, muttering something about the time limit and not wanting to piss Carrillo off and to your surprise, Javi actually lets it go.

Or, you think he does. That is until half an hour later when he leans against your desk again. “Hermosa, I appreciate you doing this but you look like you're about to fall off that chair.” He raises his hand and when you follow his movement you can see his car keys dangling from it:” I'll drive you?” He offers and if you weren't so irritated by your lack of sleep and, well, everything else, you would almost think it's cute how much he cares.

You don't feel like arguing so you just stay quiet and focus your attention back onto your paperwork. He groans a little in annoyance but the two of you know each other well enough to know that neither wants to give in. You're just as stubborn as he is. “Look, how about I-”

You never actually learn what he thinks will get you to change your mind because he is cut off by his walkie springing into action. It's the second raid being conducted tonight and someone is asking if the DEA wants to send an agent. You're not sure why they even bother to ask. Javier will happily jump into action at a moment's notice, no matter the time. You watch him as he shoves his cigarette between his lips to unlock his desk drawer with two hands, pulling out his gun and a tac vest. “Be careful,” you say, too late. He is already hurrying down the hall. You're not sure how long he is gone when your head begins to droop, sleep slowly but surely taking over. With a frustrated huff, you get up from your chair, ignoring the creak it gives as you push it aside.

The jacket will do fine, you think, as you sit down against the nearest wall, wrapping it around yourself to give your body some sort of signal that it can relax. In the back of your mind, you remember that someone kept a blanket and pillow around, just in case, but you're not sure where it is and even if you did, you feel like your body might not want to get up again just now.

Sleeping in the office isn't allowed, technically, but you know that Javier and Steve have done it before. Likely, more than once. You set an alarm on your watch to make sure you'll be up before anyone starts to arrive in the morning. You hadn't expected him to come back. You should have known, really. ___________________________________________

Something had been off. None of them got nearly enough sleep as was, but today you had seemed like you were barely there. Javier wasn't sure if it had anything to do with what had happened earlier with Vázquez but either way, he didn't like the way you had looked. So, when he finally left the lab they had raided, he decided to drive back to the embassy instead of going home. Surely enough, there you are. Huddled into a corner in the dimly lit room, breathing steady with your eyes closed. He sighs as he takes in your form for a moment, already knowing you'll wake up to back pain from the way your body is twisted up against the concrete wall. Javier crouches down in front of you and for a moment, he considers not waking you at all, simply lifting you up and carrying your form into his car to get you home. He isn't sure if it's the concern of startling you or the anger he'd inevitably have to face if he did, but he lets it go, settling on giving you a gentle nudge instead. “Wake up, dormilona ,” He hums softly, his brown eyes focused on you as he gives you a moment to regain consciousness. You wake up the way you always do, slowly at first and then with a start. Your eyes fly open to stare at his form, taking in his gaze on you and the tac vest he's still wearing, and you blink a few times in confusion. When you don't say anything, Javi gives a small chuckle and gently grabs your jacket before standing and picking up his car keys once more. He rummages through his drawer for a moment before finding another cigarette and lighting it. When he turns back to you and sees you still slouched against the wall, his eyebrows involuntarily go up a bit.

He ponders for a moment before he opens his mouth:” Vamos, get up.Te llevo a casa.” It comes out as a mumble but in the empty office, it's still loud enough for you to hear. It's not as much of a question this time, more of a gentle command. You sigh, your shoulders dropping involuntary. You don't want to explain, don't want him to know, but you're too tired to put up a fight. His gaze is still lingering on you and you distantly wonder if this is the longest he has ever looked at you. “No quieres ir a casa.” He says gently, and again, it's more of a statement than a question. God, he sees through you so easily. “No.” You admit silently, finally averting your own gaze. Both of you stay quiet for a moment. Him waiting for an explanation and you trying to think of one. Again, you feel the need to close your eyes but you know better. Just get it over with. “It freaks me out a little bit. The empty apartment. And it's so far from the embassy, from everyone.” From you, you add in your mind. Not that you'd ever admit it out loud. Javi slowly crosses the space between you in a few long strides and crouches down next to you again. He takes a drag of his cigarette as he looks at you, waiting for you to go on. “The gunshots creep me out. And I-” You shake your head ever so slightly:” This is stupid,” you mutter under your breath:” I never really unpacked. I didn't want everything- the pictures of-” You can feel yourself getting choked up at the thought of your family pictures and simply bow your head a little. If Javier thinks your explanation is stupid, he doesn't say so. To your surprise, he doesn't say anything for a while. You're the one to break the silence:” Look, you can leave. I'll be fine.” He looks at you, cocking his head a little as he seems to consider something.

“No.” No? At that, your head whips around to find him standing up and pressing his cigarette into a nearby ashtray. His face doesnt convey any emotion, and you silently curse him for his poker face. “No?” You repeat, still a little dumbfounded. That gets a small chuckle out of him. “Me quedaré,” He says, as if that explains anything. When he looks down at you and sees the confusion evident in your features, his gaze softens a bit:” Vamos. Come on.” He stretches out a hand to pull you up, gives a quick glance towards the clock on the wall and then leads the way into a small office room that you know Murphy and him use for file storage. Indeed, there are several old file cabinets placed on both sides of the cramped room. The blinds are shut and when you follow his gaze, you notice a small couch that looks like it's been here since the Embassy was built. Maybe even before.

“I crash here sometimes. It's a hell lot more comfortable than a concrete wall, don't you think?” He teases softly but his tone immediately lets on that he isn't serious. At an inviting gesture from him, you sit down and immediately sink into the cushions a little, involuntarily giving a small sigh. It is a hell lot more comfortable. “Here,” he pulls a worn-down blanket from one of the drawers and along with your jacket, throws it over at you. To your surprise, you catch both before looking back at him as he starts to undo his tac vest. You want to say something. Something smart or at least funny. But your mind is still so tired so you just keep looking at him.

That is until he catches your gaze, his small signature grin creeping back onto his face:” Like what you see?” He asks as he throws the vest into the corner, left in one of his white short-sleeved shirts:” Or are you sleeping with your eyes open?” You roll your eyes ever so slightly and give a small huff:” Both .” You shoot back, trying to ignore the underlying message in both your words. When you glance over at him and see him sit down on the floor, you give him a look:” What are you doing?” “It's called being a gentleman, querida,” He replies, that small grin on his face again. Even if this wasn't Javi, or if he wasn't as attractive as he is with his stupid faithful eyes and small brown curls, you weren't going to let him kill his back by sleeping on the office floor.

“It's your couch.” You try gently, hoping he'll take you up on the offer. He glances up at you from where he is sitting, cocking an eyebrow:” Technically, it's George Bush's couch.” You can't help the small chuckle that escapes your lips as you shift a little to make room for him:” Get your ass over here, Javier.” The use of his full name seems to make him understand that you won't back down on this one and with a small sigh, he gets up again and crosses the space between you before sitting down next to you. “You okay with turning the light off?” He asks, his consideration taking you by surprise once more. You murmur a small agreement and feel him shift as he reaches over to turn off the small lamp placed on one of the file cabinets. A few orange rays from the streetlight are falling in through the blinds, just enough to make out his form beside you. You're not sure if you've ever seen him up this close and you allow yourself to study his features for a moment, the way his nose perfectly aligns with the small crease in his forehead, his breaths escaping through his slightly parted lips.

The couch is too small for you two to not touch but to your surprise, the warmth beside you is somewhat comforting. You're squished between the backrest and him and if you weren't so tired, maybe your brain would think further, more. But it doesn't. Nor do you. He has his arms crossed, no doubt thanks to a lack of other comfortable and, well, unassuming positions. You watch his form through the corner of your eye. You break the silence.

“How did she know?” You ask silently and you feel him tense ever so slightly beside you. Of course he instantly knows what you're talking about. “They have files on all of us. What we do here, what we did before DEA.” He gives a small shrug:” I'm assuming she saw yours in passing.” At that, a new fear creeps into your chest, one that seems a lot worse and scary than Vázquez could ever be. “Have you seen them?”

Even in the dark, you can see him turn his head slightly to look at you. He studies your face for a moment. You're not sure if he finds what he is looking for but after a moment of silence, he hums.

“No, I haven't.” “Okay.”

Your answer makes it clear you trust him. Javier wouldn't lie to you. Not on this, at least. He seems to follow your train of thought, his eyes never leaving yours. “Are you okay, cariño?” He asks silently. You instantly know he isn't talking about Vázquez or the files or even Colombia. He is talking about something without knowing what it actually is. It makes your heart ache a little. “Yeah.” You mumble back and you think you mean it. Right now? It doesn't seem so bad.

“You know you can always talk to me, right? I won't judge.” He isn't sure if you're ashamed of anything in your past, if that is the reason why you're so hesitant to talk about it. He just knows that something is there that gives your features a look he doesnt like on you. He wishes he could take it away.

“I know.” You simply say, again meaning your words. Before the silence between you can get too overwhelming, you add:” Lets get some sleep, yeah? Estoy cansada.”

“Yeah, me too.” He mumbles and he seems to hesitate for just a moment before he reaches out and wraps an arm around you, pulling you into him ever so gently. His movements are slow enough that you could stop him if you wanted to. You don't. If anything, you cuddle a bit closer to him, taking in the way his shirt feels on your skin, the way his arm seems to fit so perfectly around you. In return, you move the blanket a bit, readjusting it until it covers him and you. Again, both of you still.

He is the one to break the silence this time.

“ Vázquez can suck my dick.”

He thinks he can still hear you giggling as you're drifting off to sleep.

____________________________________________

hermosa - beautiful

dormilona - sleepyhead

vamos - let's go

te llevo a casa - i am taking you home

no quieres ir a casa - you don't want to go home

me quedaré - i'm staying

querida - dear

cariño - honey (romantic nickname)

estoy cansada - i am tired

_________________________________

thank you for reading, subscribe on ao3 if you like and maybe leave a comment? <3

#javier peña #javier peña x reader #javier pena x reader #javier pena imagine #javier peña imagine #javi peña #javier pena fic #javier pena x y/n #javier pena x you #javier peña x you #javier peña x y/n #narcos fic #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedrito #javier peña x dea!reader #javier peña x female reader #softpascalito

[pasiveagressive]

Broken Bones III // H.S.

PART 1   PART 2

Tumblr and I messed up so you get two parts today🫣

Enjoy!

Harry took the steps of her apartment building two at a time. She lived in a nice set of apartments on the seventh floor and the elevator was broken. He couldn't find it in himself to care.

707. He knocked. It was about 5 till 8 and he hoped she wasn't that serious about waiting till 8, he hadn't been able to contain himself from seeing her any longer.

The door opened and a very different Y/N was looking at him. At the hospital she wore scrubs and looked like she was ready for anything. On Friday her make up was all done up and she had been sporting a dress, ready for some fun. Today she was wearing a too big shirt tucked into the front of her soft shorts and a pair of fuzzy socks on her feet. Her hair was back in double braids and her face clear of all makeup. She was nothing short of adorable.

"Hey." He said from where he was leaning against the door frame.

"Hi." She opened the door for him. "I like the pajamas."

He grinned, looking down at himself. An old pair of sesame street pajama pants and a t-shirt.

"Figured you would."

She shook her head leading him into her apartment. It was big, the kind of apartment you'd expect a doctor to have. It was filled with whites and grays, modern looking everything. Everything besides the pictures lining the walls. All colorful, all standing out against the bleakness of the apartment.

She led him through her kitchen, also modern but with brightly colored centerpieces and to her family room. There was a fireplace in white stone, also adorned with colorful pieces and a large tv in front of a large sectional. There were floor to ceiling windows instead of walls, thick curtains hanging on their sides. It was homey and modern all at once.

He put the movie on the coffee table and plopped down on the couch next to her.

"I like your place." He commented, looking over at her.

"Thanks." She smiled. "Normally it's really messy but my brother stayed the week a couple weeks ago and I haven't been around long enough to mess it up again."

He laughed. "Are you close with your brother?"

She nodded. "Very. He's an FBI agent and a workaholic, like me. He just finished a difficult case and he needed a break so he came and stayed here for a bit. I forgot how much I missed him until he was standing at the other side of the door."

"That must be hard, having a brother in danger all the time."

"Kind of." She shrugged. "He's really good at his job and he's not as reckless as he once was."

Harry nodded, wondering what kind of test he'd have to pass if he ever got anywhere with Y/N. And God did he want to.

“So I had an idea.”

“What’s that?” He replied

“How about instead of a dance I paint your cast? I’m not a half bad artist according to my family.”

He found himself nodding.

"Alright. Ready to make my cast pretty?" He asked her, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Born ready." She laughed climbing to her feet. "Come to my office."

He laughed, taking the hand she held out to him. She pulled him up and lead him through the kitchen and down a hall. He passed a guest bedroom, a closet, and than he was walking into what was supposed to be another spare bedroom. Instead it was filled with her art. There were canvases everywhere, both finished and blank. Bottles of paint were everywhere along with brushes.

"This is what the rest of the house normally looks like." She grinned at him.

He was to busy staring at some of her works to really notice.

"You're literally perfect." He said, aware of the awe in his own voice. "At everything."

There were paintings of oceans and mountains. People and animals. Colorful and black and white ones. Realistic and cartoonistic. Everything.

"These are amazing." He said, looking over at her. He hadn't really thought of how good she'd be but she was perfect at everything else so he wondered how he could have thought she'd be anything but.

She shook her head, blushing slightly. "Just tell me what you want painted."

He shrugged. "I don't know. You're good at everything, surprise me."

She shook her head again, grabbing a basket and putting several different colors in them. He took them from her and walked back to the living room after her. She was carrying some newspapers and brushes.

"Alright, you make the popcorn and I'll get the movie ready."

He did as he was told, finding the popcorn button on the microwave and letting it do its thing. And then he was going through her cabinets trying to find a bowl to put the popcorn in. He finally found one, a large blue tub, when the popping stopped. There was nothing he hated more than burned popcorn. He poured it into the bowl before walking back to the couch.

She already had the movie in and ready go. Star Wars episode one. He had taken a gander and judging by the look on her face he had nailed it on the head. And he also hoped it would be an opening, there were several more to watch.

"How'd you know I loved The Notebook." She asked when he sat down, an extremely large smile on her face.

"I took a guess." He shrugged. "You seem like someone who appreciates good cinema when they see it."

She laughed before grabbing the remote and pressing play. While she was gone she had also poured multiple colors on a board.

"Figure out what you wanted to paint?" He asked, laying the newspapers on the floor and on the couch. She didn't seem all that bothered by the potential disaster it could cause.

She nodded. "And if you don't like it it's your own fault."

He put his cast in her lap over a newspaper and told her to have at it.

"It's a surprise." She told him, pushing his head so he was looking at the tv. "No peeking."

"Alright." He laughed, grabbing the popcorn and putting it in his lap.

If it wasn't for her quoting the movie and laughing at the right parts he wouldn't have been known she was watching it. He had looked over a few times, not at the cast, and has seen the look of concentration on her face. Her eyebrows were furrowed, eyes never looking away from his cast, and body tensed and relaxed all at once.

"And done." She told him when the movie had an hour left.

Her looked over and his jaw promptly dropped. It was an ocean. complete with silhouettes of animals and a sunset. It was beautiful.

"Y/N, literally how." He asked speechless.

She laughed. "Shhh, the movie isn't over yet."

He honestly didn't really care, it was something he'd seen a million times. He was too busy turning his arm every which way to see the masterpiece that was on his arm. He never wanted to take it off. So he told her that.

Y/N gave him a look. "I'll paint you something else." Her attention turned back to the movie.

Harry wondered how much better her work would be when she had a flat canvas with no bumps on it. He really wanted to find out.

"Promise." He held out his pinkie.

She looked over at him. "Promise." She took his pinkie with hers.

When the painting on his arm was dry he got up and turned the lights off and grabbed a fluffy blanket from the rack.

She put everything on the coffee table and rested against his side, his arm around her. The blanket lay across them and he thought he might be in heaven.

He knew he was when he woke up to her practically laying on top of him, head rested on his chest. The sun shown through the window and he wondered what time it was. It had been a long time since he had slept past 8 in the morning. The clock above the tv told him it was 10.

"Y/N." He ran his arm up and down her back. "It's 10 o'clock, when do you have to get to work?"

She grunted against him, burrowing herself further in his chest. He laughed slightly, still running his hand up and down her back.

"Y/N." He tried to coax her out of sleep. "Let's make breakfast."

She turned slightly at that. Eyes blinking their way open.

"What time is it." She sleepily murmured, fists rubbing her eyes.

"It's a little after 10." He moved his hand from her back to her hair. "What time do you have to be at the hospital."

"Not till noon." She yawned, sitting up. "Breakfast sounds good though."

He sat up with her, smiling. "Good, I'm starving."

"I fell asleep on your abs and now I'm wondering how you have those."

Harry let out a surprised laugh. "I work out, and run around a stage for a living that's how."

She shook her head, climbing off the couch. "Come on." She gave him her hand. "I want bacon. And pancakes."

He took her hand. "All I know how to make is bacon so you're on pancake duty."

"Deal." She grinned.

He followed her to the kitchen and watched her take out everything they needed, trying to remember where she kept everything for next time. Hopefully there'd be a next time.

"Here." She got out the electric skillet for the bacon. "You'll take longer than me."

He got to work, opening the packet of bacon and squeezing as many as he could in the pan.

"How do you want yours cooked?" He asked her.

"I like mine crispy." She smiled over at him.

"Good." He smiled back. "Me too."

"Waffles or pancakes?" She asked, staring at the bag of mix in her hands.

" Waffles. " He said automatically.

"My favorite."

And they worked in silence, her finishing before he did.

"What do you want to drink?" She asked, breaking said silence.

"What do you have." He asked, flipping the bacon for the final time.

"Tea, orange juice, coffee, or water." She read off.

" Orange juice. " He smiled over at her. "Please."

"You got it."

"This smells so good."

Before he could say anything his phone started ringing from the living room. He wouldn't have answered it if it wasn't Mitch's ringtone.

"One second." He told her and ran to get his phone .

"What?" He asked in to the phone.

"Where are you?"

" Why? "

"You were supposed to be at the studio 20 minutes ago."

"I'll be there soon."

"Where are you?"

"Bye Mitch." He said, hanging up the phone.

"Everything alright?" She asked as he slid into his seat.

"I forgot I was supposed to be at the studio today.”

"Oh." She looked apologetic. "Do you need to go?"

" I've got time. " He smiled over at her. "You're only about a five minute drive from my place, plus they can’t really do much with out me."

She smiled. "Good, cause I can't eat all this myself."

He laughed, taking a bite of his waffle. It was really good.

"Is there anything you're not good at?" He asked her.

"Anything that requires musical talent." She said instantly.

"Really." He laughed. "One of the very few things I can do."

" I prefer to express art in other ways. " She shrugged.

"Yeah well you need to teach my sister how to cook cause she's complete shit at it." He told her, munching on the bacon.

"You're literally eating waffles." She told him. "Anyone can make waffles. "

"I can't." He stuck his tongue out at her.

"Sorry." She shook her head. "Anyone with half a brain can make waffles."

He gasped, bringing his hand up to his heart. "You take that back."

"Or what?" She challenged, narrowing her eyes.

"I'm going to tickle you." He raised his good hand menacingly.

"I'd like to see you try."

He got up as quick as he could, surprising her slightly. She shrieked and ran around the table, him catching her in about two steps.

"Stop." She laughed loudly.

"Say I'm smarter than you and have way better abs and a better personality than you."

"Someone's desperate." She said through her laughter.

"Say it." He tickled her harder.

"Okay okay. " She swatted his hands away. "You're smarter than me and have way better abs and a better personality." She turned in his arms. "Now can I get back to my waffles please."

He nodded, letting go of her before he did something stupid like kiss her.

"Want to come to my place on Tuesday?" He asked before he lost his nerve.

She smiled at him. "Can I come in my pajamas?"

He smiled back. "Of course."

"Sleepover?" She asked. "I get off at midnight on Monday and I normally sleep the whole morning away."

He nodded again, wondering if he was friend zoning himself.

"Sounds like a plan." He finished the last of his food and took it to the sink. She followed him, dropping the dishes next to his. And they did the dishes together, something that he normally hated but she somehow made fun.

"I've got to go." He dried his hands on a towel. "Thanks for everything." He dropped a kiss to her head. "Have fun at work."

She smiled up at him. "Anytime. And don't kill anyone, I don't have time to take on another off duty patient."

He laughed, walking out the door. "You're mine anyways."

The door closed behind him, shutting the laughter off from his ears. And when he finally made it to the studio, the smile was still on his face. Even if he got interrogated by Mitch and then Gemma when she arrived.

_______________________________________________________________________

"Here." His phone dinged at 12:37 on Tuesday morning.

He smiled despite the time, heading out the door and down the stairs so he could walk her up.

"Hey." He greeted when he saw her at the bottom of his stairs.

She looked up surprised, and very tired. "Hey." She sounded tired too.

"Ready for bed?" He asked her, holding out his hand.

She nodded, taking it and following blindly after him. She was still in her scrubs and she had a bag on her back. He hoped she had brought her pajamas cause he had made sure he put his on. Red with fire trucks on them, he never thought he'd wear them again, or let anyone know he still had them.

"Long day?" He asked her.

She nodded. "There was a lot of near deaths and actual deaths tonight."

He stopped in front of his door.

"I'm sorry." He brought her into his arms, running his hand down her back. "People shouldn't do stupid shit." He tried to make light of the situation.

To his horror she started crying. "There was this old man who had a heart attack and I had to tell his wife of 50 years that he didn't make it." She wiped angrily at her face.

"Shhh." He ran his hands through her hair. "You should go take a shower, wash away some of the pain."

" I was thinking of punching a wall actually. "

He smiled despite himself. "You mean you didn't learn from my mistake."

She smiled through her tears.

He laughed this time, thinking that maybe it was okay and she wasn't going to start crying again.

" I mean the unbearable pain you go through when the annoying x-ray guy pokes and prods at your freshly broken arm for 20 minutes as he tries to keep his eyes open."

She laughs, running her hands down her face. "I'm sorry I'm such a mess, I'm normally okay, I just." She stopped, swallowing a visible lump in her throat.

He grabbed her face in his hands. "Hey, it's alright." He kissed her forehead. "I want to be this person to you, I'm here for you when you're tired of being perfect all the time."

She choked on her laugh. "Thanks. Now about that shower?"

He laughed, opening the door and pulling her in with him. The apartment was rather messy, something that happened whenever Gemma was in town.

"Sorry." He smiled sheepishly at her as she tripped on a heel. "Gemma's a mess."

She laughed, finding her balance on a wall.

"It's alright, I'm just like half asleep right now."

He smiled at her, leading her through the kitchen and to his room. He had bought a three bedroom apartment with the thought that maybe Gemma would need a place to stay if she ever left the bastard.

He used the master himself, he didn't care about the size, he just liked that he got his own bathroom. Y/N shut the door to it and he smiled to himself, walking out of his room, shutting it as he went. Gemma is waiting on the balcony to talk, something they did every time they came. Drake was on the couch sleeping. They had a rule, Gemma had to sleep alone, something he thought she was secretly grateful for.

He stepped out on the balcony, taking a seat next to the two.

"She's here." He told her. "But she's had a long day so I don't think she'll be ready to see you guys."

Gemma whined. "But I want to meet her, for real. In her non-doctor form."

Harry shook his head. "She'll be here tomorrow. Which reminds me, don't come in to wake me up, she needs a good rest."

Gemma sighed. "I can't wait to meet her, she sounds perfect."

Harry grinned. "She is." He stood up, pulling her in for a hug. "Goodnight Gemma." She hugged him back.

She called good night over her shoulder at him as he walked back inside. The bastard was still out cold on the couch and he resisted the urge to dip his finger in a glass of warm water and make him pee himself.

He snorted to himself, walking back to his room. The water was no longer running as he laid down on the bed. He wondered, not for the first time, how she managed to do everything she did. Being a doctor, having the life of someone else in his hands, Hell he could barely handle his own life.

The door opened and she walked out, hair soaking wet and curly, face void of all make up and a tired smile on her face. She had worn a pair of fuzzy pajamas and an old t-shirt this time. She was adorable. And he was really smitten.

"Feel better?" He asked her as she climbed in his bed.

She nodded, laying down so she was propped up on his many pillows.

"Want me to sleep on the floor?" He asked, he would willingly if that's what she wanted.

"No, I like sleeping next to you." She mumbled, eyes shut.

He tried to bite back the huge smile threatening to overtake his face and failed.

"Alright. You sleep with a fan?" He asked, getting out of bed.

"Can't normally sleep without one." She mumbled, eyes still closed.

"Me neither." He turned it on, flicking the light off as well.

He climbed back on his bed and helped her get under the covers. He liked seeing her this way, all vulnerable and like she needed someone for once.

"Thanks." She mumbled as she rolled to bury her head in his side. "You know I normally don't do this." She yawned. "But I really like you."

He tried to bite back another smile and failed again.

"I really like you too." He dropped a kiss on her head. "Now get some rest, superwoman."

She was already asleep, arm wrapped around his chest, legs intertwined with his. He joined her fairly quickly, the smile still on his face.

"Harry."

He grunted sleepily, hugging the softness closer to his body.

"Harry." She laughed. " I have to pee. "

His eyes blinked their ways open. Y/N was wrapped in his arms, looking back with a smile on her face. She looked a lot better.

"Good morning." He said, kissing her cheek.

"Good morning." She whispered back, closing her eyes as his lips made contact with her cheek.

He reluctantly let her go, hoping she'd come back if he didn't move. And she did, sliding back in his arms like she never left.

"What time is it?" He asked, nuzzling his head into her neck.

"Almost noon." She intertwined their feet.

"Wow." He muttered. "I feel like a teenager again."

She laughed. "What are we going to do today?"

"What do you want to do?" He rolled on his back, bringing her with him so she rested on his chest again.

"Something fun." She started drawing on his chest with her fingers.

"We can talk to everybody and see what they want to do, I mean as long as you're cool with hanging with them."

She nodded. "Yeah, that sounds good."

Harry nodded.

She sat up in the bed and stretched. He watched as her shirt lifted up revealing her freckle covered skin. Before he could stop himself his finger was tracing them. He had a thing with finding constellations in the stars and she had a ton on her.

She turned back with a small smile. "They're everywhere."

"I like them." He smiled back.

"Really?" She raised her eyebrows. "They're so ugly."

"No, they're cute." He grinned at her.

Before she could say anything her phone started ringing from her bag.

"Hello." She answered.

"A little warning would have been nice." An eyeroll.

"Yeah just give me a minute." She put her hand over the phone. " I have to go. My friend is standing outside my apartment waiting for me. " She gave him a sympathetic sort of smile.

Harry frowned. "Everything okay?"

She shrugged. "I think so, he tends to pop by unannounced because he thinks I have no life."

He. He resisted the urge to tell her to stay. "Alright, another time then?"

She nodded, reaching across the bed to place her lips on his cheek. "Yeah, I'm sorry, he's an idiot really."

"See you Thursday?"

She nodded, smiling as she grabbed her bag. "I really am sorry, tell Gemma I'm sorry I had to go."

Harry nodded, disappointment coursing through him. It was one thing to be ditched for hospital duties, it was another to be ditched for another guy. He tried to hold his jealousy and anger in.

"Of course." He got up to walk her out.

Her hand still covered the mouth piece and he wondered what it was that she didn't want this guy to hear.

"Thanks for cheering me up last night." She said as she slipped her shoes back on. "I'll see you Thursday."

And than she was gone. He sighed, running his hands through his hair.

"Harry." Gemma's voice called from the living room. "Did she just leave?"

He walked to her, collapsing on the couch next to her. Drake was nowhere to be seen.

"Yeah." He looked over at her. "Apparently one of her friends showed up at her apartment wondering where she was."

"Why do you sound so bummed?" She asked.

"It was a guy. I'd been thinking I knew a lot about her lately, we talk a lot and we're constantly texting but there's still stuff I have no idea about."

"Than ask." She pointed out like it was obvious.

"What if she doesn't want me to know." He looked over at her. " I think I really like her Gem, I don't want her to not feel the same way. "

"I think she really likes you too." She said, "What kind of person would come to a strangers house after a long shift at the hospital just to spend the night."

" I don't know. " He shrugged. "Maybe she just thinks we're friends."

"What's her last name." Gemma asked, pulling out her phone.

" Why? "

"We're going to look her up on social media, make sure she's single."

"Y/L/N." He responded. Even that was pretty.

She opened up Instagram and typed her name in.

"That's her." He pointed to the third one. @/yourinsta.

Her profile picture was of her and a blonde guy. His heart sank a little.

And there was a common feat in her pictures. A scrawny asian boy with glasses and a tough looking white haired guy with the same eyes as her.

"That's her brother." Harry pointed out to Gemma. "And I have no idea who that is."

"Her best friend." Gemma said, clicking on a picture. "Best friend since birth."

He didn't know what to think of that. Everyone said those made the best relationships but he could see the way she looked at him, like he was her brother. He sighed, adding this to the list of things he didn't know about her, a list that was longer than he wished it was

#harry styles #x reader #one direction #harry styles x reader #fanfic #harry styles x y/n #x y/n #fluff #harry #harry edward styles #imagine #harry x reader #styles #harry styles fanfic #harry x y/n #harry styles imagine

[doverstar]

in more or less words, lost and rewritten has kept me alive for the past 1 week since i finished it. it is perhaps the best fanfiction i have ever read. i read at work on my break, at home until 1 in the morning, and i am begging you, please from one person to another ... post the sequel. pls? i cannot articulate in enough words how much that would keep me going <3 i'm desperate

Hi there, sweet person! Thank you so much for sharing that with me, that's a very big deal. If you mean this literally and not metaphorically or figuratively, I can say first of all that this is very humbling and surprising to me, that something like my lil Doctor Who fanfic can give you so much motivation to keep going on hard days. I'm so thrilled you enjoyed it, and I'm absolutely flattered that you think it's the best! Secondly, if you do mean it literally and you have been struggling with thoughts of ending things, I want to take that very seriously. I would urge you, like you said, from one person to another, to find hope not in something material like a story you have loved (mine or otherwise!) but to find hope in something immaterial, something that lasts. Good stories are so great because they mimic truth, and beauty, and goodness, and those qualities are found infallibly in proper hope: Jesus Christ. I'm telling you this from personal experience, because that's where I find my hope on days when I want to quit. I would absolutely love to talk to you more about what I mean if you feel up to DM-ing me. Or if you don't have a Tumblr, I'm also on X (Twitter) as well as Discord; just shoot me another anonymous Ask and I can link you so we can talk more! I am happy to listen and just talk through things with you as well, if you need. And of course, I would also urge you to seek professional help because day-by-day I know that that, in the right circumstances, can also benefit some people in dark times, though I do believe that other human beings who also struggle can only do so much. Like I mentioned, I 100% believe there is only real lasting hope and the strength to live life (especially nowadays when everything is so dark) in a relationship with Jesus. I don't know what you believe, but like I said, I'm so down to talk about it with you if you want. You seem to need hope, and how could I not share it if I have it? Thirdly, very kind Anon, I do have about 80% of LAR's sequel written (needs fine-tuning!) just for myself, and I am more than happy to send you some of it if there's a way we can do that somehow? Again, send me another Ask if you don't have an account, so we can coordinate together on how to get it to you! Email, Google Drive, something. I have no problem seizing the opportunity to make your day a little cheerier with my writing if I can. Thank you again for sharing this with me; it was so intentional and thoughtful of you! It means a lot that you took the time to tell me how you're feeling and how you enjoyed my work. <3 Please don't hesitate to reach out again, any time.

#stay alive! there is hope! please don't hesitate to DM me if you need to talk! #I will definitely share what I believe because it's real hope but I would also be there to talk with you and chat and listen #don't be a stranger! #anon #anonymous #ask #asked #answered #fic comment #doverstar writes #christianity #lost and rewritten #lar #LAR #timepetals #elevenrose

[cheolhub]

Talk about your moots; what do you like most about them (could be a paragraph or a single sentence, spread the love!!)

p sure i did this just a few days ago but everyone knows i adore my moots so i dont mind doing it again :)

it’s kinda long! (took me a literal hour and a half to write) and i tried to get everyone i talk to on a tri-weekly basis at least 😅

@ncteez i know you said to pick what i like most abt my moots, but i love everything about hon from the way she looks (she’s literally the most gorgeous person ever— she still owes me a selfie now that im thinking abt it) right down to her core. 🥹 the only mark stan who has ever walked the planet actually,,, i love hearing about her sex dreams and i love the way that she gives the best advice bc she only wants the best for me and how genuine she is. I LOVE HER & she makes me a better person every day, seriously ⭐️ i <3 my wife

@jeonghantis 🩵 there are about a million and three things that i can write for keir but i think the thing i love most about them is that… i can just be sar with them, i never have to worry about being judged for the things i like bc 9 times out of 10, keir feels the same way. like who else am i gonna talk about [redacted] with chan with ??? or [ censored beeping for 10 minutes straight ] with sangyeon ?? my jeonghannie, my bff, my ride or die <3 (they also hate everyone that i hate and watch my instagram lives even tho im super annoying which means i am going to die for them)

@onlyseokmins literally just love elv’s personality. she has this infectious positivity and it makes me so happy to be alive like dhahdh,,, every time i see her on the dash reblogging the silliest things or cute pics or even talking to other people, it makes me smile so hard like idk she’s so bright PLUS she’s resident dk lover on tumblr like there is no one else. tumblr user onlyseokmins is quite literally the only dk stan alive

@lovelyhan ok two things i love the most — one: kai’s writing will always get me out of a reading slump. i re-read their fics an ungodly amount of times, like i actually need to be blocked by them ( i definitely didn’t re-read inflection point again TODAY on my lunch break, nope! i didn’t! 😂……) TWO: kai is literally so sweet and funny and we don’t really talk much, but from what i know, they’re a really great person and anyone would be lucky to have them as a moot! ^^

@agustdiv1ne ash and i are actually moving to alaska and we’re gonna be neighbors /srs,,, srsly tho, i told her this already, but she’s an amazing listener and she puts up with my shitty texting and i seriously cant appreciate that more 😢 she’s so wonderful and lovely and my favorite yoongi stan to ever exist and i will shield her from the heat. don’t worry, ash, 𝖎 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚.

@soonigiri MELODY <333 the soonyoung to my cheol!! she’s also someone i enjoy seeing on my dash sm!! she’s literally an angel and it’s so endearing to see her in her engene era. like i look forward to seeing jungwon on my dash every day /srs — OKAY ACTUALLY, ik im an awkward freak but i would love to talk to you more bc i think we have a lot in common T-T

@etherealyoungk SKYE i know we interact like every 3 weeks but each of them do really mean a lot to me <33 i think she’s really kind-hearted and i get really happy when i see her jn my inbox from time to time!! it’s like a nice little surprise which i love 🥹💝 it’s like finding a rice krispie at the bottom of my lunch box (if you don’t know the feeling, think immense joy)

@rubyreduji JJ THE COOLEST GUY EVER. he’s such a joy to talk to and i love that he’s lowkey my hypeman. every time i run a concept or idea by him, he makes me feel really good about it and i adore that. he’s so supportive i love him and i need to hug him so bad actually 🥹 (i give good bear hugs jj, pls let me hug u) also jj doesnt care that im a weirdo awkward freak and i have to commend him for that too ☺️

@toruro mikalicious always know what to say which is what i love the absolute most abt them now. when im in a shit mood, she knows exactly how to make me feel better and always helps me take my mind off of it. she’s so cute and wonderful inside and out and i really am so eternally grateful to have her as a mutual and a friend <33 also, mika, this is my formal apology for being the world’s worst texter 😅

@gyuswhore EM THE COOLEST PERSON EVER. i love her so much actually. she and i just started talking and i have to say, she is just so,,,, amazing? idk, i dont have the words for it. she was so kind to me when reading my wonu fic and she just read over my new cheol wip and she has given me such great feedback and im so appreciative of her!! + sending pics is lowkey my love language and she lets me send her the most random shit (my pc collection, my room, etc.) i love her 💝

@hwanghyunjinenthusiast MY FAV JOKSTER dbehdh talking to rj is seriously a breath of fresh air lol I LOVE her humor and she understands my humor. ALSO….. something about rj’s writing also does something to me… like i remember i was super depressed while i had strep and on a brief tumblr hiatus and i came onto the app for just a second and saw that she’d posted … mean dom!chan… i remember reading it and crying bc she GETS IT. no one gets me like rj (i forgot to rb now that im thinking abt it but im gonna get on that) my fave dinonara <3

@heesbaby TUMBLR USER HEESBABY SINGLE HANDEDLY GOT ME BACK INTO ENHYPEN. i never thought id see the day, but bc of her smau’s and writing, i’m back in my engene era… i love how much of an angel cinna is like,,, we talk every once in awhile but she makes me the happiest girl ever when she replies to my asks or i find her in my inbox. i’ll actually fight jay for cinna

@hyuk4ngel RESIDENT MINGYU STAN,, fay has been here with me since what feels like the fucking beginning and i seriously can’t thank her enough. she’s really encouraging and amazing and she has the best ideas ever. i swear half of my writing discography is thanks to her (just my mingyu fics which is lowekey half my writing discography begsgs) she also is always checking in and i just love her for that and many other things 🥹

@baeksbyunny / @baekhyunnybyun (you’ll have to remind me which acct im supposed to tag) BEX MY BELOVED!!! THE LOVE I HAVE FOR HER IS SERIOUSLY INDESCRIBABLE!!! she’s the nicest person to me. like i’ll never forget when i was anxious before my txt concert and she was so reassuring like i felt a weight lift off my shoulders. INSTANT (sar)otonin boost every time we talk, idk what it is. probably the fact that she has the most comforting presence. i love her, you honor. i rest my case.

@majestyjun mills was like the first moot i’d ever talked to,,, but i remember i was so intimidated the first time we did bc millie is literally so fucking cool like,,, i have always thought this and when she said //I// was cool and i was genuinely so honored like…. idk >< ALSO HER WRITING IS SOHSHSBS OUT OF THIS WORLD … the concepts the description,,, she’s a genius!!!

@sunnylovespickles even tho we just became moots, i thought it was really sweet that she dropped off pics of pink!cheol for me 🥹 my day was really bad and that brightened it so much <33 i hope to have more interactions with her in the future bc she seems so nice!!

#[ 💌: anon ! ] #[ ⭐️: mutuals ! ]

[hypaalicious]

My internet was out for a week & this is my survival story.

No deadass I was kinda struggling 😭

But at the same time, I learned a lot about how social media is absolutely affecting my brain chemistry and it’s enlightening.

I’ve often had to take breaks from certain platforms whenever I find myself overwhelmed. But I always had an escape to like, other media.

When I ghosted FB for years, I took solace in Tumblr.

When I got burned out on fandom stuff on Tumblr, I ditched it for Twitter.

Whenever Twitter gets to be too annoying, I just scroll on Reddit.

But this was the first time in many moons that I had absolutely NO access to any of my vices. 🥲 Worst part was not having access to my besties on Discord, I felt so isolated and restless and bored. I depend on Twitter as like, my news station as well so there was a lot of FOMO on my shoulders. I was just sitting in the house like

I’m an asocial introvert but being absolutely cut off from the world at the safe distance I already kept it was brutal.

But, I went back to reading. I absolutely tore through Jacqueline Carey’s newest release in a day. I picked up an Astrology book I’ve had forever and read through that. I spent my time doing more chores or just… not having constant stimulus. I was still anxious because I couldn’t talk to my besties and also work on my VN stopped cause the team was waiting on ME to catch up 😩 But…

I’m calmer, overall. I feel less polarized and combative mentally. I have a lot to catch up on but it’s not as overwhelming in my head as it usually is. I feel like despite all my attempts at trying to get to a deeper understanding of astrology by following knowledgeable astrologers, I got more of a breakthrough NOT being pelted by a thousand astro opinions a day. Reading Carey’s book absolutely reignited my love for Terre d’Ange and adult writing in general; she has such a mastery over words I’ve only been able to grasp like ONCE in my life. I was all up in Joscelin’s story like

You really don’t notice how much you’re not being challenged in your reading until someone with her skill runs you over and you thank her for the privilege, LMAO!

I’m scrolling on Twitter now and feel detached from it in a way that’s good, I think. Being constantly informed is a double edged sword and I’m TRULY understanding how just… very reactionary social media is even when you follow people/topics that mean well. It literally cannot be healthy to absorb the knee-jerk takes and think pieces people make all the time, even if it shows me a perspective on issues I hadn’t considered.

It’s sad that my eternal fight with Cox internet forced me to take a sabbatical but I’m thankful for it. I need to be more disciplined and make my own planned absences from social media because I feel better not being constantly plugged in and doom scrolling. Idk how I’m gonna wrestle my ADHD to comply but ima figure it out, lol.

I guess this ramble is a reminder to take breaks from this hellsite and any other form of social media. It seems like nbd when you’re jumping from a YouTube video to IG to Tiktok all in the span of maybe 20 minutes and have been doing that for years. You don’t notice when you’re being overly influenced. You think cause you’ve curated your feed very well that you’re not stressed, especially when there’s extreme examples of unwell people on display to reassure you that you’re doing just fine by comparison.

Bestie, no you’re not. 😭 You’re drowning in stimulus and giving yourself no time to sit in stillness and find YOURSELF outside of all of the noise. Detox from all that and see how far you’ve REALLY come.

#also if you have a choice? do NOT use Cox #the customer service is excellent the reps are kind but the actual service is ASS #I wasn’t able to use my internet for a week and they only credited my bill 7 dollars #not the reps fault mind you but I’ve had so many battles with just getting continuous service before this shit that I’m just done #if they didn’t have a monopoly out here then I would have already gone with someone else #they charge too much for what they give

[clairelsonao3]

Author Ask Tag Game

Thanks to @i-can-even-burn-salad @tabswrites and @mysticstarlightduck for this tag a few weeks ago, around the time I took a break from tag games. Back on the horse, though.

1) What is the main lesson of your story (e.g. kindness, diversity, anti-war), and why did you choose it?

I don't really "choose" lessons or themes. They emerge. But if Good Slaves Never Break the Rules had a lesson, it's probably about The Power of Love, not only romantic love, even though it's a romance, but love for our fellow humans and love for ourselves. And the power of choosing love over hate, despite how cruelly we may have been hurt in the past -- or how we may have hurt (or perceive that we have hurt) others.

2) What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding (like real-life cultures, animals, famous media, websites, etc.)?

The world of GSNBTR owes a lot to (mostly) fanfics with modern slavery AUs that I have read and enjoyed over the years. I basically took all my favorite elements from those stories, mashed them together, and threw in a few of my own unique touches. And of course, the worldbuilding has expanded from there, in many cases in much more detail than I imagined it would when I started.

3) What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness, help readers grow as a person?

My two MCs both start out with their separate goals -- her to get through university and become independent, him to find his sister -- which end up merging into one singular goal (save their loved ones and defeat the villain, essentially) by the end of the story. Learning to trust and work together is part of the journey they undergo, and with their individual strengths, they end up making an incredible team. So I guess demonstrating that is what I'm trying to achieve with them.

I want to make readers feel something. It doesn't even have to be necessarily what I feel, or what I set out to make others feel. If you feel anything -- love, fear, sadness, shock, hate, disgust -- while reading this, my work here is done.

4) How many chapters is your story going to have?

At this point (I just posted Ch. 27), I suspect not more than 40, give or take. (But take this with a grain of salt; the number has already expanded several times). We are in Act III and it's outlined in detail, with may of the scenes at least partially written, but I'm just not sure how long each chapter/scene is ultimately going to be and how and where they'll be divided. I have an idea of that, but I can't decide it ahead of time; I only know when I sit down to write and edit the chapters.

5) Is it fanfiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it?

Original (although I'm not afraid to admit there are some fannish elements/tropes to it) and I'm posting it on Ao3! It will eventually be an ebook as well. It probably won't ever migrate over to Tumblr, unfortunately, not only because of the time and energy that would require but also because the NSFW and romance elements make it much better suited for Ao3, I feel. Also, having it in one place only allows me to gauge exactly how many people have read it and engaged with it (not that that really matters, but still!)

6) When and why did you start writing?

When? As soon as I could pick up a pencil and string together letters on a page to form words. Why? Because telling stories is in my blood (literally; my dad is also a writer).

7) Do you have any words of engagement for fellow writers of Writeblr? What other writers of Tumblr do you follow?

Write what you want. It sounds simple, but I spent way too many years of my writing life writing what I thought OTHER people wanted, and it almost derailed my ability to write altogether because it made me so damn miserable.

For newer writers: If you find yourself beginning a writing question with the words "Is it okay to..." or "Can I..." just stop right there. The answer is "yes."

I follow more people than just about anyone I know and I think most of them are writers; it's in the 4 digits. So I'm going to put this question aside for now and start working on a post of my favorite Tumblr writers and stories, so for future similar questions, I'll be able to direct you to that.

This one was going around a few weeks ago and IDK who's done it so OPEN TAG!

Template under the cut

1) What is the main lesson of your story (e.g. kindness, diversity, anti-war), and why did you choose it?

2) What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding (like real-life cultures, animals, famous media, websites, etc.)?

3) What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness, help readers grow as a person?

4) How many chapters is your story going to have?

5) Is it fanfiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it?

6) When and why did you start writing?

7) Do you have any words of engagement for fellow writers of Writeblr? What other writers of Tumblr do you follow?

#my writing #gsnbtr #tag game

[unforth]

@ltleflrt in reply to your comment, I can only think that the people who say "this would be cool if it were real" are either very young or just extremely isolated/insulated and have never had the kinds of experiences that sound totally batshit impossible except that like. They literally happened to me.

When I was in grad school, I hit it off with a woman, like, we really got along and were well on our way to being besties within a few weeks of knowing each other. The first time I was over at her house, it came up that she went to the same undergrad as my brother, and I mentioned that he ran the radio station there. She gave me this look, went to a pile of papers on her table, flipped through it and produced a photograph of her standing with my brother. She and her friends had done a radio drama. They'd celebrated at the end by taking a pic with the station manager. This was a normal thing for her to do. Her then going to the same grad school as me was a coincidence, us both being gamers was a coincidence, us meeting was a coincidence, and the series of coincidences culminated in me holding this goddamn picture of the woman I'd just met, two strangers, and my brother.

When I was living in NYC, I gave up my seat to a stranger on the bus. She was elderly, and using a walker, and she started to talking to me cause I'd initiated by offering the seat. "Oh, see that building over there? My son used to be a teacher there," she says, using something she can see out the bus window as a conversation starter. "Oh," I reply. "That's where I went to elementary school." Because we're in the neighborhood where I grew up, and yes, I went to school there. "What are the chances...?" we both muse. "Nonexistent," she says. "He only taught for a few years. He's in Florida now. It didn't work out for him." "I mean...we could see...the odds are tremendously low but you never know and wouldn't it be cool...?" And yes this woman's son was my fourth grade teacher. The odds that I'd meet a random person on the bus, then get to talking, then find out that we had a connection, were fucking millions to one, but it actually happened to me.

Whenever I see a really unlikely story on this website, I remember that if I pulled out the most exceptional, weird, out-there stuff that's happened to me, it'd sound absolutely impossible. So, I give people the benefit of the doubt that their hand-selected-from-their-entire-lives anecdote that sounds nigh impossible could actually have happened. Why should I doubt it? If I took either of the above stories out of context the "oh I'm so clever I know this must be fake and made up for (why?????)" crowd would jump on it as Not Real! Made up! But I have no reason to make up a story like that. I get zero benefit. Tumblr clout isn't a real thing, and if it were I sure as fuck don't have it. I think I've had five posts break 1k notes in my entire decade on this website.

I'd rather just believe people. It's so much easier. If they are lying, that's on them.

So when I get a "this must be internet fake" reply on something much LESS outlandish than the above - people doubting that my mother...is a real person? who likes fan things? who might talk about sex??? - I'm really just completely baffled.

Like look, my mom will turn 79 later this year. She was 6 when Isaac Asimov (who my grandfather knew, by the way, speaking of outlandish unlikely scenarios) finished writing the Foundation series. She was 10 when the Lord of the Rings came out. She went to Cornell when she was 16 and tells me stories about the young dude nerds who loved LotR so much that they carried their copies around campus. Those guys would be 80 now. They were geeks before many of the people on this website's parents were born. Mom had just turned 22 when Star Trek: The Original Series started airing. She was hooked immediately and watched the whole series, and the movies, and took me to Star Trek 4 as my first movie theater experience (I was almost 4), and watched ToS in syndication, and loved sci-fi and Murder She Wrote. When I asked her, "do you ship Spirk?" she looked at me like I'd grown a second head, cause she had no idea what I meant, but when I asked her, "do you think that Spock and Kirk were a couple?" she also looked at me like I'd grown a second head, because fucking duh.

It's not a myth that fandom existed before us, before the internet, before our parents, our grandparents, our great-grandparents were born. Some ancestor of mine squeed over the newest Jane Austen chapter (change locality based on origin, but the idea stands). Their ancestor got weak in the knees over Tom Jones. Go back enough generations and someone was fanboying over Euripides (that's a lie, I'm not Greek). But the point stands.

Fandom isn't new.

And don't even get me started on sex. I shouldn't have to explain to literally anyone ever born that sex isn't new. Where the fuck they think babies come from?

I just. This idea that anyone comes onto Tumblr.com to lie about their real lives is fucking bizarre. Just relax and believe people. What's the damn harm???

#unforth rambles #I am gonna be late getting my kid to the bus because of this #apparently today is hyperfixation on nonsense o'clock #when i see a stranger that say they think a post must be made up #what i hear is that they are the kind of person whod make up a story for attention #the phone call us coming from in the house my dude

[weaselle]

dude

so now that i work outside with dogs i seem to have a tick-sense.

the first time i noticed it i was driving home. And you know how sometimes you’ll have a hair somewhere between your clothes and your skin that’ll tickle, or some thread from some seam or something?

I kept feeling that near the top of my sock under my pants. And i’d brush at it absentmindedly and it would stop bothering me and i didn’t think anything of it.

But. I did keep randomly remembering all the times i’ve come into contact with ticks, removing them from dogs etc. Spacing out on my drive home and my thoughts kept getting hijacked by all my memories of ticks.

And right when i noticed hey, weird, i been thinking about ticks this whole drive home... i felt the tickle again. And I Knew. 

Sure enough there was a tick crawling around trying to find a way down into my sock

Since then, i’ve had similar experiences. Like of course I still feel the hair/thread thing and sometimes there’s actually a spider or a gnat or something... but every once in a while, i’ll feel the tickle a couple times without really noticing and then i’ll suddenly get interrupted by Knowledge of Tick. Not all ticks will feed from humans, but if any were going to, I got to them before they could. And once I sense there’s a tick on me, I’ve never been wrong.

ANYWAY

Just now, scrolling tumblr here, i felt the brush of some thread or whatever a couple times, scratching at it a bit, then Suddenly Knew of Tick. So i pinched the spot with one hand, undid my belt and buttons with the other removed my pants, flipped them inside out around the pinched part opened my pinch and of course there was a tick, so i flushed it

As i did so, i realized the whole thing about how the tick sense hadn’t been wrong yet. Even that ant on the back of my neck last week hadn’t set it off in error. And then i was like, okay, but now that you’ve noticed that, you’ll get up in your head about it and wind up going tick hunting after some piece of lint down your pant leg or something.

Walking pants-less back into my room i thought about how for a little while after finding a tick or a spider or something on you, you tend second guess every itch and tickle and get the phantom crawlies (just me? surely not) Anyway, i wanted to alleviate that as much as possible, so i checked over my legs carefully, grabbed a pair of sweat pants that never leave the house and changed out of the shirt I wore outside today.

so i wasn’t wearing anything i’d been outside in. And yet, like 20 minutes later... Suddenly Tick Sense. On my leg almost the same spot as before. 

And i’m like, no way, there’s no way, this is it, this is where the phantom crawlies get me, or i’m going to find a piece of lint or something, and break my streak. But it’s going off like crazy, the Tick Sense, so i pinch off the spot and flip my sweatpants inside out, and y’all,

ANOTHER TICK.

And as far as super powers go, knowing the difference between a tick touching me versus literally anything touching me isn’t, like, it’s not going to get me on the Avengers or anything... but i’ll take it. 

OH and Watson wouldn’t have to wake up Sherlock to figure out the second tick must have crawled off my dog who was napping at my feet after being out walking with me all day.

He has a luscious double coat that’s thick even for a husky (whose insulation is so good they can sleep on top of snow without their body heat melting any) and i’ve found ticks on him hours after a walk, still struggling to find a way past his super thick fur with its tangle-crimp undercoat. So it’s no surprise if one on him picks me for an easier target if he’s leaning on me

don’t you worry, i took a comb to him. They do find a way through his fur sometimes, and even though i give him a good rubdown and check between is toes and in his ears and armpits and things, after the second tick i gave him a good going over just to be sure

here, have a picture of my dog, Badger

#ticks #bugs #insects #dog #my life

[lhck999]

My Stardew Valley OC's ship lore

Been wanting to do this one for a while! Sorry if it's messy, I wrote it straight into tumblr with no planning.

Stacy x Shane

• At first, both didn't really like each other. Stacy was the one who, despite finding socializing difficult, put in the effort to make friends with him.

• During the 2 heart cutscene, Stacy tells him she used to feel hopeless, too. Tells him she's starting to heal, and that he shouldn't give up. He doesn't take the advice to heart.

• During the 4 heart cutscene, Stacy barely speaks. But the look on her face says it all. Worry overflowed her teary eyes. "Hopefully I won't be around long enough to need a 'plan'.." Shane gets slapped across the face. "Don't you dare even think of such a thing!" Tears streamed down Stacy's face. Jas ran to her room, sobbing. None of them had noticed she was listening. Instant regret.

• In a rainy summer evening, Stacy was heading back to the farm though Cindersap Forest. She stumbled upon a trail of beer cans and ran along it, desperation starting to make it's way into her heart. The trail led to the cliff edge where Shane was.

"Stacy... I-I'm sorry..." Shane said, between hiccups. "My life... It's a pathetic joke...Look at me..." Stacy kneeled in front of him, not knowing what to do. "Why do I even try?" Shane questioned, sobbing. "I'm too small and stupid to...to take control of my own life... I've been coming here often...looking down... But I'm too scared, just like always..." Stacy gripped his hand. She felt a knot in her throat as he continued. "Stacy...All I do is work, sleep and drink...to...to dull the feelings of self-hatred. Why should I even go on? T-Tell me why I shouldn't roll off this cliff right now..."

Stacy recalled the time when she didn't feel like enough, when she worked until she passed out, when she didn't have anyone to talk to, when nobody seemed to care. Choosing her words carefully, she told him what she would have wanted to hear back then:

"The decision is yours. Just know that I'm here and I always will be, and that you can count on me for whatever."

Shane's teary eyes widened. "Thanks...I appreciate that...I really do." he paused. "...I think you should take me to the hospital now."

With great difficulty, Stacy carried an unconscious Shane to Harvey's office.

Suzy x Alex

• They bonded over gridball literally in their first meeting. Great friendship material.

• A few weeks after moving in, Suzy decided she deserved a break and went to the beach. It seemed someone else had gotten there first, though.

"Oh, hi. Suzy, right?" Alex asked.

"Yup. What are you up to?" Suzy responded. "Just enjoying this great weather." he paused. "Hey, go long!"

Suzy took a few steps back, and caught the ball Alex threw.

"Nice catch!" he said.

"Your throw was great!" she complimented back.

"Thanks. You know, I'm gonna be the first professional gridball player from Stardew Valley...There's no doubt in my mind."

Suzy looked at Alex, who was now staring onto the horizon.

"I already led my school's team to the regional playoffs... Now I'm just training so I can get a spot on the roster of the Zuzu City Tunnelers. You just wait!"

Smiling fondly, Suzy said:

"I believe in you."

"Thanks, Suzy. I'll remember that."

• As they start talking more, they share bodybuilding tips, book suggestions (mostly on Suzy's part), and plans for the future.

• During the 4 heart cutscene, Suzy was shocked. She had never imagined what Alex had been through.

"You seem like someone I can trust...That's why I'm telling you this, Suzy. I don't want any sympathy. If there's anything good about my past, is that it's made me strong."

She pat his back as she said:

"That it sure did."

"Now, let me show you what Dusty will do for a barbecued steak." he chuckled, holding a large piece of meat in front of the drooling dog, who was clearly super excited.

• "Oh, hello dear! How have you been?" Evelyn said, as Suzy stepped in through the front door after a few knocks.

"I'm alright! Things on the farm are going pretty well. How have you and George been?" Suzy replied.

"Thank you for asking, dear. We're doing well! What brings you here today?"

"See, I found these leeks while foraging and thought I'd drop by to give you some." Suzy said, taking out a few leeks from her backpack and gently placing them on the kitchen counter. "I also haven't seen Alex in a while. Is he here?"

"Oh, yes, he's just in his room! You can go right ahead. Thank you for the leeks, dear!" Evelyn responded.

"No prob!" Suzy said, turning to the corridor in front of the entrance.

Reaching the end, she knocked on the door to her right.

"Come in!" Alex said.

He was standing in front of the bookshelf in his room, looking a little gloomy.

"What's wrong, Alex?" Suzy asks.

Alex sighed. "Look at all these books... I haven't read a single one of them..." He picked a random book off the shelf, examining it's cover.

"But I guess you can't make a living in this world if you don't have brains..." Alex said, putting the book where it was originally.

"...I'm worthless."

Suzy looked at him with a mixture of disbelief and sympathy. She took a deep breath and said:

"Listen, man. Everyone's got their strenghts and weaknesses. Just because you're not good at one thing doesn't mean you're worthless." She placed her hands on his broad shoulders.

"I've seen your skills with that gridball, and they're on par with the pros. You could make it into the Zuzus if you tried." She said, letting out a smile.

"And if that doesn't work out- guess what? You got me here to help you out with studying, job hunting and whatnot!" Suzy complemented.

If he doesn't marry you, that is. (Stop it!)

"...Thanks, Suzy." He said, his eyes sparkling in that way she loves so much. "I mean it. You're a great friend." He now had a warm smile upon his face.

"Thanks. I try to be." She let go of his shoulders, turning her gaze to the ground as she smiled and her cheeks turned a little red.

#stardew valley #sdv #sdv alex #sdv ocs #stardew valley oc #farmer suzy #farmer stacy #alex mullner #shane sdv #sdv shane #stardew valley shane #stardew shane #shane stardew valley #alex stardew valley #stardew alex #oc lore

[luckyqueenreign]

major 🤡 alert!

Hey, HELP A GIRL OUT PLEASE i’m stuck in the love triangle with Suresh and Alfie. I KNOW! I’M DOWN BAD BUT hear me out. I actually really liked Alfie in the beginning and wasn’t even thinking about Suresh (hated him to be exact) but we all know what happened how the season progressed. Plus i’ve been reading y’all’s theories and everything on here and yeah that resulted in this. I literally tried to make myself hate Suresh over the past two months so bad but god dammit i just can’t do it 😭Every damn time when i was finally like okay there’s no way i’m taking him back (especially after i found out about Gabi coming in, their relationship and him switching to Lulu from the scripts) i open tumblr AND IT’S BACK AGAIN. Alfie looked like a way better option to me even after kissing Kat but recoupling with Meera after Casa was my last straw. Suresh on the other hand… we know damn well what was happening in the last 2 months. We all figured that in this season we simply gotta pick the least bad option so i feel like they’re both as bad as each other and i just don’t know who to go for. Plus their routes are literally 👏mirroring👏.These theories about them feeling like they don’t deserve MC break my heart even though they did her well dirty. Final recoupling is probably about to be next week and i’m over here on the biggest fence ever. I know it’s probably not a good idea asking this here (where a lot of Suresh stans are) but i would be beyond grateful if you could look at it objectively and try to find some advice 😭coz i’m dying over here. Thank you so much for reading this, have a nice day! <3

OK girly i'm going to try soooo hard to be impartial but I'm so not an Alfie girl so this may prove difficult for me 😩😬.

I also want to preface this by saying that when I was coupled with Alfie I took full advantage of that coupling to make Suresh jealous and I actually did start to like him. I found him super endearing and I felt bad that I was going to break his little heart...that is until he Cherrygated me 😡. And look did I kiss Suresh? Yeah I absolutely did! But Alfie wouldn't even wait two seconds to hear me out. And I've seen other girls post on here who did NOT kiss Suresh and when you didn't kiss him you had an option to tell Alfie nothing happened and he still didn't hear you out. BOO!!! I just also feel like with Alfie some of his words and actions don't line up. He tells you one day he wants to take things slow and the very next day is asking to do bits? He tells you two days in row he wants to end the summer with you, you're his only girl but then he kisses Kat and 2 days after that brings Meera back and is suddenly all about Meera. IDK for me... There just hasn't been enough of a redemption arc for Alfie like there has been for Suresh. And I'll get into his misgivings now. Suresh comes into the villa incredibly unapologetic and extremely cocky. It's clear he thinks that he's got this in the bag and he's going to win MC back, that these guys have absolutely no chance. But MC proves to be a bigger challenge than he originally anticipated and he's forced to deal with ALL of his demons. Suresh thinks he's changed before Arlo comes in but he obviously hasn't hes still acting the exact same way he was before. MC kisses/flirts with Alfie? He does the same with Arlo. He flirts with MC while with Arlo, which in it of itself is a dick move to both women (I mean I loved it...but im being impartial here It was a dick move) Then the whole casa speech. We all loved it but then NOTHING. We were all left scratching our heads confused like WTF happened to this man?? We all came up with theories to explain his odd behavior after Casa but then this week he confirmed our suspicions that he was hurting, he was struggling hard, but most of all he was SORRY. This man has never been this apologetic, this self-loathing without wanting anything in return. this man has properly changed, there's been growth and character development (I mean as much as there can be for a pixel game). I just dont feel like we see the same for Alfie.

But again take this info knowing I am not an Alfie girly. You may find an Alfie girly out there who will give you 845 reasons why he's redeemable and has had growth. 💖

#litg ex in the villa #litg alfie #litg suresh

[omo-queer]

if this is too far, I apologise and just ignore this ask, but I just find it so impressive that your able to keep edging yourself. It just kinda shows how strong you are when you can go so long without getting off and it's going to be so worth it when all the weeks are up and you finally get that release. I've tried edging myself but I can't do it, like everytime I maybe last once before I just can't restrain myself and just the neediness. Which makes me all the more impressed by how good you are at denying yourself, I might have to try harder next time. :)

- 🦊

it's definitely not too far! thank you for sending this in!

i definitely haven't always been this good at edging myself. as soon as i understood the idea of orgasm denial, it was really appealing to me, maybe literally my favorite kink. but when i was less experienced with it, i would struggle just to edge, go to sleep, and then not immediately get myself off when i woke up.

but a big thing about me is that i will make self-control as much as i need to if i want something bad enough. and funny enough, not getting off is something i want pretty damn bad. so with practice i did my first week, and eventually i made it a whole month. that was a while ago, and then i took a break from doing denial longer than 72h just bc i wasn't feeling it—i had a lot of other stuff going on and i just didn't have the time or mental bandwidth to be like. so horny i start to shake a little twice or three times a day.

but then i got back on board with it a couple months ago when i started this blog, and i figured i would try out letting tumblr notes decide when i get to come, which turned out to be 1) way hotter and 2) even more motivation not to go over. it turns out your body can do some incredible things when you don't have a choice in the matter... i do sort of wish i knew someone in person who i could have this sort of dynamic with, because i think that might be even hotter still.

i don't really have sex dreams and i haven't ruined yet so it's been a really high intensity period of absolutely no release... so i can't exactly say it's easy, but it is surprising to me just how doable it feels to just keep edging.

another consideration is (and idk if anyone else thinks this way. lmk if you do!) when i'm denying myself it's almost like my body is the submissive entity and my mind is dominating it? i rationally know that my brain and my body are one thing, but it's sort of the dominance of my conscious mind over all the pathetic needy stuff my body tries to do to go over the edge. maybe that's weird, but it seems to work for me pretty well. i think this is a big part of why i don't get much subbier when i deny myself—if someone else were denying me, i could be submissive to them about it, but i'm basically just denying myself. and in that scene i'm at least as dominant as i am submissive.

there was a blog on here a long time ago, i think it was significantly pre-purge, where the person running it would deny her followers but she also did long-term self-denial. and she never framed her own denial as submissive, even though everyone she kept denied was very submissive to her about theirs. some part of me wants to be like she was—knowing what it's like to be denied helps better get into the heads of submissives who themselves are denied.

anyway! big thanks for the ask, it was a good one... if you do deny yourself, let me know how it goes! especially let me know if you're ever edging to my posts. maybe i could even help push you a little bit further than you've gone before, if that's something you're interested in.

#denial #🦊 anon

[rasparagus]

the status of and my feelings about this blog

honestly i have been involved in fandom since i was way too young to be on the internet. and i took a break from being super active with fan accounts some years back bc its what was best for me. fast forward to 2021 and becoming a carat is quite literally what got me to start posting and interacting consistently again on tumblr bc the fandom seemed really chill and cool and overall just a nice way to find community, especially during a transition period of my life.

but now i realize why every other day there’s a new creator declaring they need a mental health break lmfao. its cus this shit lowkey sucks. ive barely been active in the community for two months and this is the most stress ive experienced in a fandom. i love being able to chat it up and write fics and read fics but the amount of discourse combined with so many people thinking they know every fucking thing about everything is exhausting. some of yall treat this like a job. i come here to chill but so many people use this community as a way to show how virtuous of a person they are or how witty and sassy they can be with no regard for actual human beings. i think some of yall have been on the internet so long that u have literally forgotten how to interact normally with others, even when they say something u disagree with. not every disagreement is worth some huge moral argument or name-calling session. i dont think its normal that i see a different discourse discussion occur on the timeline every day, all of them met with equal vitriol from the people involved; some things are simply not that serious. maybe if we all take a step back and remember we are people writing fake stories about people we will never meet, then the problems wont seem so big after all. hate to be a hippie but like,,,lets just vibe and treat each other like humans, man~

ofc this isnt about any of my lovely moots xoxo i love yall. but its hard to ignore the discourse that occurs within this fandom. and as someone who does a vast amount of philosophizing in my daily life for school/work/community activism and would truly just like to chill on here, the exaggeration of mild issues stresses me out. im someone who is deeply passionate about politics, social justice, and cultural criticism in day-to-day life (just like a lot of other people who tend to start discourse!). but i also am of the belief that we all need rest, and if our leisure time is plagued by the same seriousness of the “real world” then we’ll never truly get that rest. i fear that in an effort to continue my hobby of writing and interacting with other fans, i will find my mind never truly resting and will be damned to a life where i am convincing myself that i’m having fun when im not. and once again, it should never be that serious.

when i started writing for svt i saw myself being here for a while, and i still really want that. but im barely three (very short) fics in and im already exhausted (and impressed) with how much the fun has been drained out of this fandom for me. i liked it better when all i did was watch gose and gush about vernon to my non carat friends. i really cherish the mutuals ive made and bc of those connections i desire to keep this blog semi-alive. i think it’d be really sad for me to give up on the fandom this early. but this fandom has a level of toxicity that is incredibly anxiety-inducing for me. sure my mental issues are my own and it isnt anyone’s fault, but ive noticed a common trend among other creators as well, so maybe its worth considering the environment we all are fostering. who knows. maybe i need to disappear for a while so i can re-discover the spark that led me to become a svt blog in the first place. this isnt me announcing a formal hiatus or anything. i could be back tomorrow thirsting over mingyu and wanting to write and post a new fic. or it could take me weeks or months to regain the fire that made this fun in the first place. this rant is merely a tired, old (not really) soul expressing their frustrations with a fandom that quite frankly takes itself way too seriously. 

#this is ok to reblog #ro's.chats

[purrincess-chat]

I feel like I've been hit by a sledgehammer bc of this ep. Understandably so that people who didn't want pre reveal Adrienette dating are upset and I can get behind that. But I feel like I'm bummed out bc now I think that pre reveal Adrienette dating is not well and terrible. I do enjoy it, but seeing other people's opinions just made me disheartened. Makes me feel like I'm the best who's dumb or stupid for enjoying it.

So, a couple bits of advice that I find work quite well for me:

Stop reading people's salt posts because they're almost always written in bad faith from places of anger, meant to antagonize, and they pass their opinions off as fact, so of course anyone who dares disagree is a fucking idiot because they deem their opinion as the only valid one. (which people like that in general are just yikes)

Filters are your friends. Tumblr has a quite effective filtering system. You can filter words, phrases, usernames, tags, literally anything you don't want to see. If it's someone that you generally like and don't want to unfollow them because of their opinions, ask them nicely to use a specific tag for those kinds of posts so you can filter them. Now you don't have to look at them.

If fandom is stressing you out, take a break. It's the holiday season. Go visit friends and family, decorate some cookies, eat something delicious, go outside and go for a walk and get some fresh air. I am a strong advocate for taking breaks from fandom to clear your head and realign your priorities. Fandom is supposed to be fun. Sometimes people just forget that and take things way too seriously. Take a week off. If that's too much, take a day. Do something else for a bit, and I promise when you come back you'll realize how silly it is to let other people dictate your feelings.

And if anyone is angry at you for having the audacity to *checks notes* enjoy something and is telling you that you're stupid for enjoying something, then that says a lot more about them than it does about you, babe. People can vague post about me until their fingers fall off, but I have neither the energy nor desire to care because I'm not sorry for enjoying what I enjoy. Art and media are subjective, and plenty of people enjoy different aspects of the same source material based on their personal experiences, beliefs, and preferences. One idea isn't better than the other, no matter what anyone says. If you like something, that is totally and completely valid. You don't need to justify it to anyone. (not to mention arguing over the same two ass people has always been and always will be silly to me like the reveal is gonna happen and everything is going to be one dynamic anyway so why are yall pressed)

Additionally, if it helps, I can tell you the reasons why I love their development this season.

As someone who has always related to their dynamic in particular, and whose favorite part of their side is watching Adrien fall for her, the whole shift this season has had me really giddy. From the very first episode of this show, Marinette has been scheming and planning ways to get Adrien to notice her/tell him she loves him. We've seen her grow and overcome her jealousy, we've seen her put him first, we've seen her care about him when no one else did, we've seen her fight for him, which most of those he never even knew because she didn't do those things to make him love her, she did them because she loves him. I've loved the direction they took their dynamic this season with Adrien finally realizing that Marinette means so much to him and coming to understand those special feelings for her are love at the same time that Marinette is dealing with heavy trauma surrounding him. And just the absolute tender way Adrien approaches her and tries to help her through all of that is just *chefs kisses*

It shows huge development on their part for Marinette to even be able to admit that she loves him and wants to be with him (even just by raising her hand). And Adrien meeting her where she is and not putting her down for not being able to speak her mind, but instead being so incredibly patient and gentle and understanding. Adrien loves her in spite of all of her antics. He finds her quirks charming, and he sees through all of it to the girl underneath. She didn't need to go through with some crazy scheme or grand gesture to confess her feelings to him. They just needed to get down on each other's level and talk and communicate with each other and learn to understand each other. It's high time that the show brought the two of them closer and let the two of them work through her anxiety around him together. I completely love the two of them ditching their friends' ideas of what their relationship needs to look like and instead opting to figure out what works best for them together. Having the two of them date pre reveal and sort through that trauma together and learn the ways that they need to be loved is going to help them tremendously when the reveal eventually happens, and I can't wait for that!

And that's just a portion of my feelings for them this season because I don't want to spoil later episodes that people haven't watched yet, but yeah, I think their development is so sweet and satisfying to watch. And if anyone is mad at me (or anyone) for just enjoying the show, then that's their problem. I have better things to do than worry about people being mad at me for liking something because imo, that's a really dumb reason to be mad at someone. Like can you imagine someone being like:

"Hey, I really like chocolate milk."

Then someone else being like:

"Um, how fucking dare you? Strawberry milk is the only good milk, and anyone who likes chocolate milk is fucking stupid and should feel bad for liking it."

You see how silly that sounds? Don't let other people convince you that chocolate milk is gross if you like it. They can get over it or die mad, either way you have a tasty beverage. Let them ruin their own day, not yours. But that's just my approach. I am a very laid back person who's never really given a fuck about what other people think of me tho. That portion of my personality has only strengthened with age because I find that it rarely truly matters, especially when it comes to fandom. If they're not paying my bills or putting food on my table, then I don't particularly care if they don't like the way I feel about fictional teenagers. But I get not everyone is like that, so go with my 3 tips above. Subjecting yourself to salt posts is only going to warp the way you view the show and ruin your overall enjoyment of it. (trust me, I've been there) Leave the salters to their bitterness, and just enjoy the show. You'll be better off for it.

#cat replies #asks #ml fandom salt