#littlefucker

[lashids]

Welcome L4Gl1tch! Designated label: Experiment #33!

He comes from the Descent Project in which some crazy cult tries to create a perfect body for their god! (they are doing a terrible job, most are either gaining sentience or melting in matters of seconds).

Gl1tch was created as the first digital experiment. His purpose? To try to create a program that The God could communicate with his believers through. He gained sentience shortly after, and after Experiments #34 and #35 started wreaking havoc, he hacked the laboratories systems, letting them escape.

The crystal above his head is actually a drone that projects a hologram with his likeness.

He now roams the realms with #34 and #35 trying to cover up their mess.

Contrary to popular believe he is not a rat, but a cat-thingy! In his free time he loves watching mr beast, arguing with people over twitter and starting drama.

#oc #ProjectDescent #Rat #Glitch #LittleFucker #SillyBilly #MrBreastSimp

[atopvisenyashill]

Going through your asks, what happens if Littlefinger wins the duel, Brandon slips in the mud or a bird randomly craps in his eyes?

Catelyn is not going to marry him but I am wondering what the fallout would be?

H U H.

Okay so kind of returning to The Themes Here, I'm thinking specifically of this comment from George about feudal structures:

And then there are some things that are just don’t square with history. In some sense I’m trying to respond to that. [For example] the arranged marriage, which you see constantly in the historical fiction and television show, almost always when there’s an arranged marriage, the girl doesn’t want it and rejects it and she runs off with the stable boy instead. This never fucking happened. It just didn’t. There were thousands, tens of thousand, perhaps hundreds of thousands of arranged marriages in the nobility through the thousand years of Middle Ages and people went through with them. That’s how you did it. It wasn’t questioned. Yeah, occasionally you would want someone else, but you wouldn’t run off with the stable boy. And that’s another of my pet peeves about fantasies. The bad authors adopt the class structures of the Middle Ages; where you had the royalty and then you had the nobility and you had the merchant class and then you have the peasants and so forth. But they don’t seem to realize what it actually meant. They have scenes where the spunky peasant girl tells off the pretty prince. The pretty prince would have raped the spunky peasant girl. He would have put her in the stocks and then had garbage thrown at her. You know. I mean, the class structures in places like this had teeth. They had consequences. And people were brought up from their childhood to know their place and to know that duties of their class and the privileges of their class. It was always a source of friction when someone got outside of that thing. And I tried to reflect that.

I think Catelyn is an excellent example of a woman who knows her place BUT is able to navigate within her role incredibly well so she retains access to power and privilege in a way that most women can't in Westeros (and also just, OODLES of good luck, from being acting Lady of Riverrun to hitting the Westerosi jackpot of husbands and good hips) while Petyr is very much someone who doesn't know his place at that point in his life. Oh yes, Petyr is very aware of his place after this fight but that's largely because Brandon shows him what his place is through extreme violence. At this point in time, when he's just an idealistic teenager who sees himself as an equal to the Tullys and Starks despite being like, glorified merchant class? He has no idea the violence that awaits him for pulling this stunt but by the gods is he about to learn.

SO THE PETYR OF IT ALL - I don't think Hoster would straight up murder a teenage boy the way, say, the Lannisters push for Micah, Lady, Nymeria, and even Arya to be harmed but I do think that if he's not in terrible shape after the fight, Hoster has him lashed and put on a boat back to the Fingers post haste. Petyr goes home incredibly injured, sick from the sea and being unable to rest from his physical ordeals, maybe even some formal/informal exiling from the Riverlands or Westeros at large. Hoster is likely aware that having a teenager whipped and put on a boat is dangerous but the thing is the Northerners are on the way and Petyr just humiliated Brandon and the entirety of the North with this little romantic stunt of his; again, not saying Rickard or Brandon would demand Petyr's head, but I think Hoster's fondness for Lord Baelish would make him want this dealt with before the Northern faction shows up for the almost wedding to be like "hey what in the FUCK did your ward just do you shit ass??" Given that Petyr's general life philosophy is "piss me off once, get ready to die during my insane xanatos gambit 10-17 years down the line" I don't think this has a major effect on his personality besides pissing him off a bit more. He'll have to be smarter about building his wealth but no way he earns himself a permanent exile for something this stupid, and once the chaos of the war starts up, I'm sure the Iron Throne is willing to overlook some youthful follies.

THE BRANDON STARK OF IT ALL - This one is a bit more complicated.

Southron Ambitions is hashtag real and Brandon getting his ass handed to him looks so fucking bad for Rickard and also puts a huge dent in the idea of "everyone outside the crownlands intermarries so if Aerys overreaches we have each other's backs" because now Brandon looks like a wuss and Hoster looks like he can't control his vassals.

They can't just throw Catelyn at Ned yet because Hoster seems to be picky as fuck about the marriages of his kids and Ned is second born and functionally useless. Not good enough for Hoster's favorite child (yet).

Brandon himself probably feels humiliated by this whole thing and maybe even wants to put the blame for the loss on Cat or Hoster. I mean we are talking he loses because he like, trips in the mud and Petyr gets the drop on him. Humiliating, unlucky, bitch made behavior lmaooo that just doesn't look good for a man like Brandon.

The Northern faction is, I say again, literally on the way to Riverrun.

I think what happens here is that Brandon runs back to the approaching Northern faction licking his wounds and pride with a note from Hoster that essentially just says "maybe we should renegotiate a little bit" but before they can get to Riverrun, Lyanna disappears. Brandon is already a hothead so with his pride wounded, absolutely he marches straight up to the Red Keep and tells Rhaegar to come out and die and all of that goes more or less the same - maybe if Aerys had heard about Brandon losing the fight, there's some humiliation going on there in addition to the torture of the deaths.

AND FOR THE NEDCAT MARRIAGE OF IT ALL - I think Ned feels a lot more pressure to prove himself here. Which doesn't mean he makes any mistakes - Ned shows himself to have a good head for battle tactics even under pressure - but I do think it puts him politically in a weirder position but perhaps emotionally in a better one. For one thing, Ned escapes the Vale by sneaking through the Fingers where Petyr is from - that might be a problem here. From there, it ripples out when he joins for the Battle of the Bells; perhaps he's a bit more ferocious, takes a few bigger risks in battle in an attempt to make up for Brandon's failure and impress Hoster.

I think it's likely that the war still forces a Cat-Ned marriage but I think the way these two approach the marriage is going to be different than how it goes in canon. For one thing, I think Cat's reputation takes a hit - she'd come across perhaps as a bit ~unruly because her lil boyfriend defeated her fiance (who cares that she asked Petyr not to do it, who cares that she gave Brandon her favor, Petyr humiliated Brandon so now it's Cat's fault) and I also think Catelyn would feel. Idk, not duty bound to be loyal to Petyr after defeating Brandon, but certainly would be feeling something very complicated that Petyr pushed through her no's and then won. Then there's the conflict of not wanting to piss off her new husband. Meanwhile, Ned is probably thinking about how another man won her hand fair and square and how he's essentially stepping on someone else's toes. I think in this situation, Ned's feelings of not being "enough" get split between Brandon - who proves that he wasn't "enough" either - and Petyr, the feudal middle class upstart who proved he IS enough. I think it would be likely that Catelyn and Ned have a more tense relationship for much longer. Possibly Ned doesn't even name Bran after Brandon because he's worried it might seem a lil tacky.

BUT. I DO KIND OF THINK. THERE IS ANOTHER PATH HERE.

I think it's just as likely that to get around this whole awkward issue, Hoster decides that Ned should marry Lysa and that Jon Arryn should marry Cat. That changes everything radically. I don't think Ned would like Lysa's clinginess nor would Lysa appreciate the stern ways of the North. I do not think those two would ever have a happy marriage and I think Lysa still attempts to start something with Petyr. The problem there is that the affair would be conducted compeltely through letters because Ned is not sticking around KL the way Jon Arryn does nor imo would Ned just completely miss the fact that his wife is having an emotional affair with the man who beat his older brother's ass. If Ned finds out, I think it's going to swing him into a PTSD driven, flashback addled depression spiral and remind him way too much of Lyanna/Rhaegar. I'm not totally sure how he'd react to this; Lysa isn't physically having an affair but Ned knows damn well that emotions can turn into actions real quick.

Then we've got Catelyn-Jon Arryn. Now...the subject of children is kinda weird here. I think Lysa's issues with children are partially caused by the forced abortion + Jon's age. It's possible that Cat has an easier time conceiving BUT all this means is she has three or four children with disabilities instead of just one. I think we would see a Cat that has also sunk deeper into her own depression, blaming herself for the Brandon-Petyr debacle, thinking about how she could have married a man born in the same decade as her instead of one older than her father, etc. Maybe it's Catelyn that winds up having an affair with Petyr - though again, it would be harder to carry it out because if Jon is at the capital, I can't see Petyr being able to land Master of Coin or be put in charge of the gold cloaks. I think it becomes difficult for Petyr to gain any foothold at all in fact which means he has to be smarter once again - but we know Petyr is perfectly capable of that.

Keeping in mind all the dozens of ways this ripples through the plot, the biggest change here is that Petyr has to handle the Jon Arryn situation way differently with Cat married to him instead. I think there's a not unlikely chance that Petyr manuevers himself to off Jon Arryn sooner so Cat isn't wasting her fertile years on Jon but keeping them with Petyr because Cat no longer has a healthy, beautiful daughter for Petyr to get fixated on, if she manages to have a daughter at all. I think if he can throw suspicion onto someone else, no one will find it odd that he and Cat remarry, even if they do it in a really tacky way - it's just Been Known that he's holding a torch for her, Jon Arryn is old and ugly, Cat is sexy as fuck, and she's already had a true born heir by Jon Arryn, so really, who cares if she remarries someone beneath her. What that affects is a) when Ned comes South b) How Petyr handles Ned and c) whether Jon and Stannis find out about the incest or not.

Anyways point being if Petyr wins I think this is kind of a hell scenario for the Tully girls. Lysa will either still be miserable with Jon or be miserable with Ned. Catelyn has to carry around the fact that Petyr humiliated her betrothed and caused this huge scandal. Petyr is probably forced to get real creative much sooner if he wants to marry Catelyn.

Although now I'm thinking about Cat still rejecting Petyr for humiliating her, Jon Arryn still getting offed by Petyr, but then Ned comes South and now he's dealing with newly widowed and free Catelyn Tully Arryn and her sickly little kids. It's like a fucked up romance novel omg, give me a second chance romance where Ned and Cat fall in love while he's investigating what killed her husband!!!!!!!!!

#canon divergent au #i'm putting this in the tags bc i'm fascinated and curious about other people's opinions #valyrianscrolls #asks #riana one #catelyn stark #lysa tully #jon arryn #ned stark #i'm not tagging littlefucker until later i don't want his stans in my ask box asking why i call him littlefucker all the time

[feenmies]

he should give me a kiss. hahaha. it'd be so funny. haha. pls

#he looks so funng in this picture #his littlefucking teeth #good god. so funny looking. so silly. we should make out.

[glitteratti]

vibes of me at home one drink down and planning on a second to pair with a fancy little meal they like to call “chicken top ramen with frozen dumplings” while my roommate goes out to a nice dinner with a friend to celebrate his birthday and one year of sobriety. idk what those vibes are but they sure so fucking exist

#.txt #WHATEVER. first drinkof the nigjt was FREE and i have some littlefucking FANCY $8 cakes that i got for FREE. that i will also have tonight #or tomorrow or some point in between idk. so take THAT!!!! #AND i will watch the classic h2o just add water because i am GIRLBOSSING!!!!!!!

[avandrenart]

Lana nfr sticker pack available now! Link in bio! #lanadelrey #lanadelreyfans #lanadelreyedit #art #digitalart #etsyshop #etsyseller #stickers #stickercute #stickershop #ldr #normanfuckingrockwell #nfr #Normanrockwell #lana #lanafans #littlefuckers #stickeraddict #stickersforsale #smallbusiness #smallbusinessowner #artistsoninstagram #artofinstagram #artfriends #artsupport #etsyfinds #fyp #foryoupage https://www.instagram.com/p/Cn3jlykuDWA/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#lanadelrey #lanadelreyfans #lanadelreyedit #art #digitalart #etsyshop #etsyseller #stickers #stickercute #stickershop #ldr #normanfuckingrockwell #nfr #normanrockwell #lana #lanafans #littlefuckers #stickeraddict #stickersforsale #smallbusiness #smallbusinessowner #artistsoninstagram #artofinstagram #artfriends #artsupport #etsyfinds #fyp #foryoupage

[4arconinoma]

Love Minecraft man

#Such a ncie littlefucking game you can ujust do stuff #special interest o fmine *explodes* #txt

[elongatedursus]

babies

#my cats #kitties #cats #babies #furbabies #littleguys #littlefuckers #littleassholes #myhandsarescratchedtoshit

[eebie]

theres a littlefucking beast here 

[thewingedwolf]

wild to me that got managed to get several dream casting choices in sean bean as ned, alexander siddig as doran, and ciaran hinds as mance, then convince thee michelle fairley, lena headey, indira varma, and stephen dillane to sign on only to absolutely waste the vast majority of them for dick jokes made by bronn, overacting to the extreme by littlefucker and whatever the hell emilia was doing. i was robbed!!

#at least mark addy got to be a really good robert. #also sean bean was wasted bc ned stark doesnt cry ONCE and also doesn’t get to have his lyanna fever dream. he’s a great fake crier!! #I DESERVED RICHARD MADDEN HOLDING HANDS WITH ISAAC HEMPSTEAD WRIGHT AND CRYING IN THE DARK TOGETHER #rani liveblogs asoiaf #aidan was a bad littlefinger and i said that shit!!! #also bronn wasn’t well acted either he was just there for sexposition and comedy except he wasn’t funny or hot

[simiansmoke]

[ BLOCK ]: sender blocks an on-coming attack from the receiver. (( from @swcllcwscng as this boi would try to block DK's swings! :D ))

Things to Do While Sparring

------------

It's not like he's trying to HURT the kid. He just has a trigger finger - or rather arm when it comes to little shits. Diddy knew. (Littlefucker.)

Blinking when he doesn't feel the confirmation of skin against skin via little baby ass boy vs his calloused palms, he gives his young company a curious expression before creeping closer to him with a non-threatening drop in his shoulders.

"...where did you say you were from again?"

#//i wrote it more as a dodge #//but i guess his hand could hit wood shield or sword or something #swcllcwscng

[atopvisenyashill]

i think it’s so funny when people say stuff like “people villainize littlefinger” and “people make tywin a bad guy” bc idk how to tell you that selling an 11 year old to a brothel and slaughtering a bunch of people at dinner is like, a quintessential villain thing to do lmao.

littlefinger is straight up embezzling from the realm and tywin’s line is going to fall specifically because of his mistreatment of his children okay, those dudes are, in fact, bad guys who do bad guy things and that’s why tywin got merked on a toilet by his own son and that’s why littlefinger is gonna get his neck sliced by sansa, brienne, or lsh lol. it’s cuz they’re bad guys!

#it’s so funny like i like sandor a lot but i’m well aware he’s a bad creepy dude! u can like a bad guy and realize he’s a villain it’s fine #anti petyr baelish #anti tywin lannister #i mean i’m anti littlefucker bc i think he’s boring. tywin at least has charisma

[it-s-a-me-oli]

If you were to censor the second part of the name of Littlefoot, the little dinosaur from the children series The Land Before Time, it would be funny.

"Oh, you can't quit now. What if the Great Valley's just over the top of these rocks?"— Littlefuck

#the land before time #littlefoot #in einem land vor unserer zeit #shitpost #it-s-a-me-oli #unnecessary censorship

[garbage-salt-scraps]

i love when baby kittens look like littlefucked up alien guys. excellent character design

[makerkenzie]

No one ever audited Littlefinger

Something that's been on my mind recently:

In terms of King Robert's Small Council? I honestly don't expect anyone to have considered that Varys was trying to sabotage the realm. He's the Master of Whispers. The job is sketchy by definition.

Whereas...Littlefucker? Someone could've figured him out before the start of AGOT. Master of Coin = Kingdom's Comptroller = Secretary of the Treasury = high-level accountant. You don't need a Citadel-level education to be an accountant. You need to be moderately literate and good at arithmetic, to start. The rest is on-the-job training. Even in the setting of ASOIAF, it's not a super-rare skillset.

I can say this because I used to work in Accounting. It's not magic, and it's not supposed to look like magic. In fact if an accountant seems to have magical powers, they're probably up to something illegal. Like 90% of an accountant's workload is keeping everything as transparent as possible. There are accountants whose entire job is to interrogate the Accounting departments at other businesses and make sure they're not covering stuff up. They're called auditors, and answering to them is a standard part of every accountant's job description.

Surely there must have been a handful of people in KL who could've audited the crown's balance sheets. Someone would've figured out that Littlefucker wasn't doing what he claimed to be doing.

#asoiaf meta #small council #littlefinger was allowed to get away with shit

[ladycatofwinterfell]

The show got most things wrong but I appreciate the way Ned absolutely glares at littlefucker every time they’re in the same room, especially when cat is there and littlefucker’s being slimy as hell

#ned stark #littlefucker #catelyn stark