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class1akids · 20 days

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Am I the only one that finds it weird that the shoto - dabi fight is the one that has the least child visuals between them toga-uraraka and deku-shigaraki.

I think it weird bc unlike the other two dabi and shoto have a lot of similarities between their childhoods and their anger towards their father so child visuals would have been imapctfull bc it isn't just about saving the other but it's about the fact that shoto understand dabi.

We only got one visual of them as kids but it didn't hit hard bc that wasn't how they were feeling (at least on the outside) at that point the fight was between dabi the villain and shoto the hero

Neither was looking at the other in a sentimental way (at that point)

I disagree that it didn't hit. It's true that it wasn't sentimental, but Touya is different from Toga and Tenko. His child "origin self" is a grumpy 13-year old.

I think in the fight between Dabi and Shoto, the question was whether there was even a "Toya" anymore to dig out or did that boy die on Sekoto peak. Dabi says that Toya "died" when he went home and found no change - which means that this boy who kept believing that his family would look at him if he kept trying lost hope at that point and was living for revenge.

Shoto showing up, making a move for him, forcing him to look his way achieved in the end that we finally saw Toya's inner self come through, we saw that he's still very much just a crying boy desperate to be still seen.

I think that the child selves we see here manifest actually what they are doing in the real world perfectly. Toya is still desperate to prove himself. Shoto is a child fighting for his family. The image is tragic and in the next chapter you see the devastation on Shoto's face - how hard this was for him. And I think it is left on this note because next we go to Endeavor, the man who didn't show up for Toya and who is not there while his sons are engaged in a death battle. So I think this is the mood that this image aims at, and it's not cute or sentimental, but I think it hits really hard. At least for me, it does.

And yeah, maybe it would be easier if we saw them do some kind of cute play-fight or whatever, but because saving Toya is the job of the entire family, we don't get this image until they all show up for him (primarily his father who wronged him). And because Toya is the "family villain", not only Shoto's villain, this child-image gets spread around. Toya sees his child self surrounded by his family and then he also sees Shoto as a child.

I think that means something, and I hope Hori will follow this up later - and it will lead to more connection between Shoto and Toya.

It's harder for them than any of the other "pairs", because while Toga and Tomura sought out Ochako and Izuku and they both just someone / anyone to show up and accept them, that's not what Touya needs.

His inner child is older, and not only he never wanted Shouto, he represents to Touya "Endeavor's masterpiece", the replacement, the reason he was thrown away. Shouto is probably the last person Touya wants. It's not as simple as them bonding over hating their dad. Shouto does validate Touya's anger (but not his methods) and he's trying to find common points between them. But bonding over rage would be counterintuitive to what the narrative tells us about negative emotions. Shouto has been ruled for long by his rage too and took him a lot of work to change. I think that Touya needed to be confronted with Shouto's change - and feel that literally on himself when he copied Phosphor. Phosphor is Shouto's self-expression, his healing, his heart - and Touya being able to copy that I think means that there is still hope for him.

So considering how Shouto had nothing Touya wanted, the fact that he was able to dig out Touya's child self from under Dabi's rage and then make him see Shoto not as a puppet, but as a real crying child / brother as well is hard-earned connection between them.

Not as cute maybe as the others, but to me it really means the world. I think just because the no-jutsu is not easy in their case doesn't mean that what happened is less important.

I still have hope that Shouto will get his narrative reward too in a more direct depiction of connection. If Hori thought Toya was irredeemable, and was planning to make him die full of hate, I don't think he would have drawn Touya as a child at all.

#c1a asks #todoroki shouto #dabi #todoroki touya #dabi vs shouto #i don't know #this fight is so beautiful and haunting to me #there are a lot of very difficult emotions in play

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phantomcodes · 1 year

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#tumblr themes #tumblr theme #tumblr resources #code hunter #tumblr codes #phantom code #phantom theme #completeresources #allresources #userbru #useraashna #usernik #userbrina #tuserlucie #userdre #claudia #responsive #instagram theme

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i-am-cesear · 9 months

Text

Listen! You know I am a big Natsuhiko simp. It was normal for me to wonder about his necklace.

I think his necklace is REALLY important. What we know about Natsuhiko's necklace? It is a present from Sakura and it is germanium. He is just so casually says it in here.

I needed to check what is germanium and

1) Why did Sakura gave Natsu a germanium necklace?

Let's start with germanium itself. If I pass the more scientific stuff about germanium, this is what I get so far:

• It is a metalloid in the carbon group that is chemically similar to its group neighbors silicon and tin.

• Germanium is not thought to be an essential element for any living organism. Similar to silicon and aluminium, naturally-occurring germanium compounds tend to be insoluble in water and thus have little oral toxicity. However, synthetic soluble germanium salts are nephrotoxic, and synthetic chemically reactive germanium compounds with halogens and hydrogen are irritants and toxins.

•The major end uses for germanium in 2007, worldwide, were estimated to be: 35% for fiber-optics, 30% infrared optics, 15% polymerization catalysts, and 15% electronics and solar electric applications. The remaining 5% went into such uses as phosphors, metallurgy, and chemotherapy.

•Germanium supplements, made from both organic and inorganic germanium, have been marketed as an alternative medicine capable of treating leukemia and lung cancer. There is, however, no medical evidence of benefit; some evidence suggests that such supplements are actively harmful.

So. We use germanium more in technology and it is not usually harmfull for people. Wanna know what I decided to search? Germanium necklaces. Just to see if it has any meaning.

I checked the first web-site and I know, I should've search more but I was curious. I searched "germanium necklace benefits" and wanna know what I found out? Apparently, germanium jewelry;

• Increases blood circulation

• Increases metabolism of body cells

• Removes harmful toxins

•Alleviates physical stress, stiffness, cramps or discomfort

• Controls swelling

• Reduces water retention

• Relieves fatigue and tiredness

• Promotes quality sleep

• Slows down aging

• Increases and maintains body warmth

But Cesear, why are they important??

It's because, I am almost sure that Natsuhiko is not wearing his necklace in this panel.

He is not wearing it. He can't. That necklace looks more like a collar than a necklace. For exemple, look here:

And here, now look at his germanium necklace:

That thing is not loose. I don't think he can wear that thing under a shirt that buttoned all the way up and a necktie. Look again. Do you see what I mean?

And in these panels, it is the first time Natsu talks about something that hurts him. He experienced some wild things before with Nene.

He looks scared but totally ok in here.

He looks scared, not in pain.

And he just comes back like nothing happened. These panels was one of the reasons why I thought he was immortal in the first place. He is wearing his necklace in all of them. He looks fine, he looks like his usual self. But in the raws, he looks tired. My friend pointed it out for me that in whole manga, this is the only time Natsu look genuinly tired and also, he mentions himself as a "human."

Maybe it's because he is losing blood but I don't think that much of blood and that much of a time is long enough for him to feel tired. I think he is not wearing his necklace and that necklace is healing him.

But Cesear, what does the necklace healing Natsu from?

Good question.

Before these raws, I thought that Natsu was sick and he was dying. Remember where people use germanium? Don't bother scroll back up, I'll show you again.

• Germanium supplements, made from both organic and inorganic germanium, have been marketed as an alternative medicine capable of treating leukemia and lung cancer.

But now that we have the raws, I know what the necklace heal Natsu from.

I think it is healing him from his own blood.

We now know that Natsuhiko is immortal (like I was saying for months now) because of a rumour that Sakura released but Natsu is not entirely supernatural. His blood causes the supernatural things to break down, it is toxic for them.

And if Natsu is at least somewhat immortal, that means that his blood might be toxic for him as well. He is also immortal. Which might put Natsu in a circle; his own blood keep hurting and killing him inside while his immortality forces him to live. It must be painful, he feels pain. He says that either cutting his palm or his blood hurts so he feels it. He can't be useful like that. So, how are we going to fix it?

By giving him a healing necklace which is also believed that helps with aging process.

So. Now you know why I found that necklace really important.

#toilet bound hanako kun #hyuuga natsuhiko #headcanon #i think it is really important #that necklace must mean something #it can't be just a random necklace #no fucking way

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farolero-posting · 3 months

Text

Energy

Summary: How the Barrens became empty.

Words: 3009

Read on AO3:

(full work below the cut)

It was 6:30 when the sky finally went dark, after weeks of instability. At that moment, Silver was watching over the phosphor shrimp monitoring project, along with a scientist with a mug for a head.

The man asked her to order all the units in the area to take samples of adult shrimp without being selective and place them in jars. It seemed that under the circumstances, it would be necessary to use them as a provisional source of lighting, as they investigated the issue. The robots were called to distribute the jars around the west northern area, being in the lookout for organic beings who may need assistance.

Robots had a text based messaging system that made communication faster during work. All robots were online, back then, connected to the same server. If she scrolled up far enough, she could still read those same orders in the main logs of the area.

She didn’t need to scroll that far to find them, anyways.

As head engineer, it had been her duty to call a meeting with the leaders of the ongoing research programs and the mining operations. She can’t remember the full sequence of conversation —and found a significant percentage of it to be irrelevant nowadays—, but she can recall the things she said, and the reactions that resulted from it. It was in her programming to have preferential attention to social interactions, and use her resources in decoding them for self monitoring.

After an update on the state of the area and the inner rings, the topic of conversation drifted towards the future of the Barrens’ operations. Silver listened attentively, adding up the arguments each of the researchers had to continue or halt their current operations, and the factors they had to watch out for. Food, source of light, trips across the ocean to the inner rings, salaries, healthcare…

At last, she added her own information:

“Our generator works on solar energy. Most of our machinery and our robots rely on the main generator to function. We don’t have enough people to sustain operations without the work provided by them.”

“Your area should’ve stopped exploiting the mines long ago, if you ask me.” An older man tilted his head in a way that accentuated his weary eyes.

“It is not my area, I happen to reside in its vicinity, but I am in charge of the Barrens as a whole” she corrected him, and he placed a hand on his forehead, shaking his head.

Disapproval perceived, she noted.

“Either way, we must shut them down, I’m sure everyone else agrees here. These last earthquakes have only been endangering the few living workers we have on them. We lost about five robots to the last collapse, which we can’t replace. It’s for the best that we cease that operation, at least.”

“We will have to shut down everything, not just the mines”, Silver concluded after a few seconds. This did not make the man happy. nor any of the other scientists in place.

“We can’t all lose our jobs, this is ridiculous.” She heard someone mutter, a young lady standing by the door, holding a notebook.

In the opposite end of the room, she noticed someone being hit in their side, by a coworker.

“....course she likes shutting down things, huh—ack” is all she grasped from them, said barely above a whisper, but within hearing range for her.

Silver had heard similar comments enough to know what incident the workers kept bringing up, even if they made an effort to hide it from her.

“I cannot allow operations that do not meet standards as they could constitute safety violations, and within three weeks, our main sources of energy will run out. Our backups are not sufficient, either. There are better chances of survival for living people within the inner rings.” Silver set her hands on the table, in a rehearsed attempt to make her point gain emphasis. “That takes priority.”

“So you propose we should evacuate all workers,” someone responded, she didn’t note who.

“Correct.” A disorganized chorus of voices rose up, but she didn’t keep up with the details. They would come to agree with her, eventually.

Silver does recall someone reaching out for her at her cabin later that night, hours after the workday was finished. Her friend greeted her with a smile, and after inviting him in, they chatted over a game of chess. At some point, the topic of the meeting was covered.

“I think you made the right choice, Silver… I understand it has to be difficult.” He spoke, taking his rook out of the starting point. “I’m sorry things ended up like this.”

“It is the option that is left, given the circumstances. I don’t have much of a choice other than solve the problem with the resources I have.” Silver barely looked at the board as she moved one of her pawns, eyes focused on her opponent’s rook. “Have you… found anything of note about the tower? You said you wanted to study it before.”

He frowned, pursing his lips as he played his turn. “I have not found anything beyond what you already know. I suppose I need to see what the place is like without the Sun…”

“Will you evacuate soon?” She moved her bishop. “Check.”

“I do not depend on the ships to travel, so that isn’t a priority. I hear they’re not the safest, given the… squares, as they have been called by the witnesses.” He retorted to sacrificing a pawn, knowing Silver would repeat the strategy.

“Of course. It makes sense.”

“Silver?” He looked away from the board, already aware of what move she would make. “I heard there are plans to evacuate tamed robots as well. What is your opinion on that?”

She noted the question may hint at more than what it states, but she cannot read further. Her friend’s intentions are not always clear to her.

“I suppose it’s reasonable,” she answered. “There are other purposes they can serve in the City, perhaps even the Glen.”

“What do you think about joining them?” He took out her bishop. “I believe the same can be true for you.”

“No.” She looked away, not wanting to see his disappointment. He grabbed her free hand, instead, pressing it lightly. He was not disappointed, then. “I don’t think I’m welcome. My best option is to look after this area for as long as it is possible.”

“I see, Silver.” He nodded, eyes closed, while Silver played her turn. “I understand, but please consider it, alright? I could take you there, if needed.”

“Checkmate.”

“Oh stars, when did your queen get there?”

The generator didn’t last a week, as it should’ve been expected.

After 140 hours had passed since the blackout, Silver received the first notification of low battery from a robot within the mines. Its location was out of reach, however, and the fact it was still partially functional despite the rubble around it made her… uneasy. Of course, being at a larger distance from the generator meant it would be among the first to shut down. Maybe there was some mercy in that. She wasn’t sure that the robot had enough of a frame of reference to care, or that it ever will. She hoped it didn’t. She quickly discarded that train of thought

The head engineer received interesting news later that day. As it turned out, in a couple of days a small fleet of rowbots would bring a few emergency supplies.

Individual power cells She recognized that kind, but she preferred not to think about them.

She could deduce what they would be used for.

Her friend had told her about some of the words spread around the Glen, and now the City. Some kind of prophecy from decades ago, now becoming true. Words of a dying light, and the long darkness that would follow it, before the ground, trees and rivers went dark as well. Silver was skeptical, but the words matched the predictions that the scientists could make out of their data analysis, and the events of last week had been the biggest confirmation for them all.

There were words of preparations for a savior too, not too many months ago. A later prophecy spoke of a messiah from another world, and how they would make a pilgrimage to illuminate the world again, wording that became more explicit in the last week. If that pilgrimage included the Barrens, then someone had to be ready to receive them.

The world had more problems than just the lack of sunlight, but they refused to acknowledge it, in Silver’s opinion. The fact no living being could stay for that long in this desert waiting for the messiah to come should have made it clear enough.

Silver’s opinion was background noise among the chaos of the last few days, Preparations for the evacuation were far from organized, and new events kept slowing down their progress.

“Engineer! Please, head to the outpost!” popped up in the robot communication feed. The robot stationed there had something to report in person.

When Silver reached the building, she found a mess of shelves, a scared intern next to a robot, and a corner covered in squares. The anomalies dissipated, taking away the supplies with them.

“We… lost our non-solar batteries…, Ms. Engineer.” The intern stammered. “There’s one… there’s a solar battery on the left side but it’s still in its package. It’s not useful.” She looked away.

“What? But we… were supposed to have at least another week.” Silver shook her head, moving on. “Alright, thank you for your report.” She turned towards the robot. “I need you to relay the message to move to stage 4 of the shut down process. Understood?”

“Understood,” a flat voice replied.

As she made her way to the shore, she was interrupted by more notifications.

“Internal battery is running low. Please replace the main generator’s energy source. Estimated time left, three hours.”

“Head engineer, we need you to calibrate your backup cell!” was shouted from a researcher by the shoreline.

But the robot didn’t listen.

At the fifteenth notification, she couldn’t neglect them any longer.

She sprinted into the vent zone, knowing most researchers weren’t wearing protection to follow her. She had three hours to do something right.

Silver approached a group of robots pushing a minecart, and directed them to the chemical processing factory. She repeated this operation all the way to the cliff side, and then backtracked towards the factory. A few robots insisted that leaving their post was outside of their programming, and she let them be, but still managed to gather close to forty of them.

The tamed robot positioned herself in front of the lines of machines. She stood out for her red hair, and unique, humanlike features. She was not like them, and yet there was a sense that she was the closest to them there was in that barren land.

Maybe her friend would think that thought was poetic. It didn’t matter at the moment.

“Stage four has begun. Our power will run dry soon.” She paused. “I think if I don’t explain the next step, you will not see it coming on your own. This protocol isn’t in your programming since this is an unprecedented event, and since nobody else will take the time to guide you through it, I guess it’s my duty to do something about this.”

Glowing blue eyes looked back at Silver.

“There are ways to send a robot into a dormant state.” She began, noticing how her steps sounded against the metallic ground. “Cyclical rest is the one you are familiar with. It occurs based on an internal clock, but can be triggered by an outside force during repairs.”

Arms stood still on their sides.

“There is a method where…” —Silver couldn’t describe what made her hesitate— “you are decommissioned. It occurs when a robot’s system malfunctions beyond repair, usually due to… conflicts in your code. You cannot perform it on yourself.”

Antennas blinked in a constant rhythm.

“Then there is energy loss. I have learnt that a sudden shutdown caused by it can cause collateral damage in the robot afterwards, even if they can be turned on again later. It is not advised. This is what will happen in less than three hours.”

Soft whirring echoed across the room.

“I will trigger a rest cycle on each of you. When the power runs out, your functioning won’t be affected, and when it’s back, you will be manually reactivated. Before I proceed, do you agree?”

One of the units in the first row asked: “What happens if someone needs assistance while we are not active? Shouldn’t someone stay on to wait for the power to go back?” The voice somewhat mimicked a question, with clear struggle, lacking a natural tone.

“Are you tamed?” Silver raised an eyebrow.

“I am not, this is spontaneous curiosity built from experimental code. I do not know what purpose my question has.”

Silver would have liked to ask about it.

“Then, let me ask again. Do you agree to let me make you dormant?”

“No.”

“Understood.”

Silver turned to face the others. “Can I proceed with you?”

Thirty eight “yes” responses flooded the room.

Silver was found by the entrance to the factory, her back resting on the wall, by one of the interns in charge of looking over the factories. She was carried towards her cabin, and was reconnected to a backup power cell, much like her body had been in her first days of existence, back in the City.

Unlike that time, she was woken by a different person. A friend. Maybe one of the few people who wasn’t intimidated by her.

“Silver, good to see you again,” he said, trying to give her a smile. “Apologies for the delay, we had to calibrate you to the cell using a cord. You can take it off now, of course.”

She sat up, reaching for the cord connected to her neck, and removed it with a quick move.

“It isn’t your fault,” she said.

Her circuits made her recall the last moments before the shut down. She remembers realizing she wouldn’t have time to make it to the shore, and deciding to sit down instead.

“I know what I was getting myself into.”

“I think I have an idea of what it was, indeed.” He nodded, holding a closed notebook in his hands. “I can understand the sentiment as well. If you would rather not discuss it I understand too.”

Silver shook her head.

“I reacted in a hurry.” She took a strand of hair, and felt it against her fingertips. The sensation was more intense than usual, likely a result of her awakening. “I know my purpose is to do whatever ensures the safety of the people and this action was reckless on my end.”

“What drove you to try?”

“I think… I think it was fear.” She shook her head, trying to change her phrasing. “It’s not fear for myself. I cannot fear harm coming my way when I know that someone else will be hurt if I act on that fear.”

“Have you felt fear before?”

The robot took a pause, trying to look back on her experiences, looking for a coincidence she knew existed.

“Sometimes silence speaks for itself,” he interrupted her thoughts. “I know you must be looking for it. You suspect you have felt it before, even if you aren’t sure.”

“When a robot is lost, sometimes it’s not fully broken,” she explained. “They can send distress signals to call for backups, and give an updated report of their damage. They are trying to preserve themselves, because there is something that pushes them.”

He nodded along in silence, writing down in his notebook. “You bring up an excellent point.”

“And… I am the only one who catches these signals. They drown among other reports, orders from someone else. Requests for help are spontaneous. If someone has to respond, it needs to be me.”

“Do you think you did the right thing?”

“Not exactly…” She paused. “Perhaps it needed another approach. But someone needed to do it. Not like it will matter from now on. It’s all over.” Pause. “I did the right thing but it doesn’t matter.”

“It isn’t all over, however.” He stopped writing, and looked at her. “Your actions will ensure that, one day, in the future, getting this place running again won’t be so hard.”

“I don’t think there is much left. This area will be empty soon. I will stay and keep working, because it is the only thing I can do, but this is… only for a hope we can’t rely on. Let’s admit it, this chance is over.”

“Think of it like a chapter of a book. Perhaps, this period of your life has ended, and the tension is rising… but there is worth in telling those stories, and one day, they shall pass. There is a future ahead of you. Your push for preservation relies on it.”

“What will happen in the next few days?”

“Many people still need to evacuate, and because of the squares, it will take longer than expected. There is currently a project to prepare for the potential arrival of a messiah, and we will do some testing as long as it is still safe to stay here.”

“What about you?”

“I am doing some work here, and will be traveling back and forth when possible. I can visit you as well.” He rubbed an amber necklace he wore, before changing the topic. “I have a letter for you.”

“Does she keep writing them?”

“That she does.” He took the envelope out of his book. “I will leave it for you to read. You don’t need to rush.”

“Alright, I will.”

She opened her logs, to find them in the same state as they were the last time she checked.

She didn’t open them again.

#oneshotgame #oneshot game #silver #the author #my writing #uggggggggasjaf what the fuck #yeah thats all i have to say

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wangxianficrecs · 10 months

Text

fracture fix by phosphorous

fracture fix

by phosphorous

G, 5k, Wangxian

Part of the MDZS Reverse Big Bang 2023

Summary: What he did not say: I don’t want to be anywhere in this world where you aren’t. I want to know you inside out. I want to know you forever. I want you to know me inside out and I want you to know me forever too. I am a burden. But I am yours. I want to be yours, for as long as you will have me. “I love you, Lan Zhan,” he had said instead. It had ebbed and flowed in the space over their heads like tides in a river. Eventually, it had settled. Eventually, it had stayed. Kay's comments: This story felt like a punch in the heart. Ah, it was the kind of sad angst that just hits different. The story is set post-canon with Wangxian in an established relationship. However, Lan Wangji got turned into a jade statue due to a curse and the story basically follows Wei Wuxian on his quest to break this curse and shows how much he suffers and grieves without Lan Wangji by his side. They are just very much in love and that's why it hurts so much that they were separated in this way. The story is also just so beautifully written and features stunning fanart. I am just in love. Excerpt: Sleep does not find him peacefully that night, either. Years ago, it would have terrified him to have so much of him tied to another person, to have said, you can have this much of me, and in return, I will have this much of you , to have lived and loved without reservation and doubts. But he was alone for so long, first by choice and then in the dark, and Lan Zhan— with him, it is so painfully easy. To fall asleep and know that the sun would come up again tomorrow and that they would wake up together, slowly with the rest of the world. That someone would rest their cheek against the pillow and watch him as he yawned. That there would always be someone to kiss. That someone would always see him. That he would always be seen. And if Lan Zhan will no longer be there to see him in the light of the morning sun, then who would? He is sick with longing in a way that he has not been for a very long time. His hands are shaking. He does not know how to make it stop. He does not know how to make it stop, but the sun comes up the next day. It is so cold in the flimsy bed at the inn that it is as if its light doesn’t touch his shoulders at all.

pov wei wuxian, post-canon, established relationship, married lan wangji/wei wuxian, graphic depictions of violence, curse breaking, cursed lan wangji, separations, loneliness, yearning, suicide, sad with a happy ending, angst with a happy ending, lan wangji/wei wuxian get a happy ending, grief/mourning, fanart

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)

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masterwords · 1 year

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stand as one

Summary: Derek & Hotch are invited to a BAU family reunion at Rossi's. They're semi-retired in Chicago, no one knows about them, and Derek is feeling a little self-conscious about his scars.

Pairing: Hotch/Morgan

Warnings: alcohol, talk about scars/trauma (specifically from the episode "Derek", and George Foyet)

Words: 2.7k

Notes: Written for @imagining-in-the-margins CM Comfort Fic Challenge using the prompt: Character is insecure about a physical attribute. Honestly, it was hard to choose, the list of prompts was so good. This story fits into the post-WITSEC retirement in Chicago series: The Chicago Times.

***

“Are we really flying back to Virginia for a pool party?” Derek asks, staring hard into the mirror. Up until this point he hasn't given it much thought. The scar that melts its way from his collar bone to the tip of his sternum has been there long enough that he's learned how to live with it. Therapy has helped some, Savannah helped more, and he's(mostly) okay with it. What was left behind from the experience, tucked away on the inside is far worse, anyway, and he's plodding through that a little slower. He wants to take his time with it, not rush through it and expect grand results.

But that means there are a lot of things he still has trouble with.

Being in crowds, bumping shoulders, he can do it now if he has to but sometimes the light is just the right shade of faded denim blue and the streetlamp pools just the right sodium yellow and he breaks out in a cold sweat. He remembers clearly telling Savannah to call Hotch, call Hotch...it's a small consolation now that when it happens, he can reach out and take hold of Hotch's hand (if it's not in his grip already) and know that he's right there. Not a phone call away anymore, never again. It's usually his shoulder bumping against Derek's.

But a pool party at Rossi's sounds like digging up the bad shit. And then rolling around in it. It sounds like people looking at him with his melted scar tissue dead center, the scar that Jack says makes him look like Iron Man only way cooler, and feeling sorry for him. Remembering what happened to him, how they found him in that cabin, why he left the BAU.

He's so tired of feeling like their tragic baby brother. It was easier to leave when he considered that as an alternative – them never being able to see him as anything more than the sum of his traumas.

“We can decline the invitation,” Hotch says, a little pensive. He's only going out of some misplaced feeling of obligation after having not seen the team in over a year. Leaving the way he had, they'd been forced to move on quickly without him, not even a backward glance, no goodbyes and frankly there hasn't been a time that felt right for him to drop in on them. It seemed easier this way for everyone. Less painful, fewer tears. He didn't imagine they cried many over him in the first place, not with Emily coming back to them. “If you'd like, I can call Dave and tell him something came up.”

“No, you can't do that...we're going to Venezuela right afterward and our flight leaves from D.C, in case you forgot. We have to go.”

“We can change our flights, Derek. They let you do that.”

Derek touches his chest, runs his finger along the strangely sloped ridge of numb scar tissue and frowns. It's slick and smooth in places, nothing like the scars that Hotch carries with him. Hotch's are sensitive and cause him problems, he's in pain more often than he cares to admit after so many surgeries to correct what was damaged. Derek's...well, he looks at it and he frowns at the way it mocks him. It's like someone took a plastic doll and held it up to a hair dryer.

Or set a heated knife to a smear of white phosphorous. He sighs.

“You don't have to swim.”

“You know damn well it's gonna make things even weirder if I don't strip my shirt off and jump in. They're gonna zero in on that and make it worse.”

Hotch is behind him now, arms slipping around his waist, pointy chin digging into his shoulder. He's just a hair taller than Derek, just enough that he can do that without too much effort. “You're still the most handsome man on Earth,” he reminds Derek quietly. There is a sincerity in his voice that Derek can't remember hearing from anyone else. Sure, people look at him all the time and he knows damn well what he looks like, scar or not...but when Hotch says it, it sounds different. Reverent. Sacred.

“You're not wearing your glasses, you're practically blind.”

Hotch rolls his eyes and dusts a string of stubbly kisses along Derek's shoulder and up his neck, ending behind his ear. He hasn't shaved yet today and it makes Derek's skin flood with goosebumps. “Let's just say no thank you, send a case of wine and a card...”

“From all of us? Aaron, you keep saying we. We can decline, we don't have to go...baby, I hate to remind you, but they don't know about us.”

“What better way to tell them than by sending alcohol and not being there to see the reactions?”

Derek twists around until they're face to face, bare chest to bare chest, draping his arms over Hotch's shoulders. “The case of wine isn't a half bad idea, but we're showing up with it. Otherwise they'll come here...”

“Then you'd better get packed.”

- - - - -

Rossi's house doesn't look any different than when he was last here, but it feels strange. There was always something familiar about the feeling of walking up his steps, knocking on his door, feeling small inside his perfectly manicured grounds. It reminded him of afternoon spent running around in great emerald spaces while his parents rubbed elbows with Senators and other rich, important people.

He still does feel small, but he no longer feels familiar.

“Aaron!” Rossi shouts, throwing the door open. He pulls Hotch into a hug, the kind that squeezes the air out of your lungs, and mutters something about missing him and being a stranger and it sounds insulting but sweet at the same time.

Stepping back, Hotch watches as Jack takes his hug and then rushes inside to find Henry and Michael, he hasn't seen his friends in too long. And then it's Derek's turn, Rossi doesn't waste any time hugging both Derek and Hank in one go. He's practically weeping over how big Hank has gotten when he breaks the hold.

“Where's Savannah?” Dave asks, dabbing at his eyes with a handkerchief. Hotch looks down at his feet while Derek begins to tell him about Doctors Without Borders and co-parenting long distance, and finally about their decision to see other people.

“It just made sense,” Derek says with a shrug. He doesn't look sad about it, but Hotch knows it still gets to him sometimes. He misses her. Hank squirms in Derek's arms and babbles something that sounds like half words and half nonsense, and instinctively Hotch reaches out to take him from Derek. He knows what Hank wants.

Rossi watches the interaction with one eyebrow cocked a little higher than the other. He doesn't have time to ask, though, because Hotch brushes past him while talking directly to the toddler in his arms, laughing and smiling as they go. Hank wants to see the pool. Derek has Hank's diaper bag with all of his swim gear thrown over his shoulder, so he follows dutifully while Rossi watches, takes note, and closes the door. They're the last to arrive. His entire family, estranged though it were, is all back under one roof. Temporary, but he's not going to give that more weight than necessary until the sun goes down.

- - - - -

“Poo! Poo!” Hank squeals as Derek changes him into a swimming diaper and covers it with a pair of Iron Man swim trunks. A gift from Jack who, though he was growing up, hadn't lost his love for The Avengers. He'd just moved on to collecting comic books and discussing the lore with his friends, except he loves to watch Avengers cartoons with Hank.

“Is he telling you he's pooped?” Alex asks, extending her hand to Derek, helping him up off of the ground. He laughs, snatching his running baby before he hits the pool by himself. He's already tried it three separate times.

“Pool,” he says, bending and twisting to hold the wiggly boy in his arms. “He wants to go in the pool. It's all he can think about.”

“It's very nice, Rossi keeps it pretty warm.”

Derek looks at the pool and nods. “I bet. Maybe in a bit, huh? We're still makin' the rounds.” He's avoiding the pool, that's all. And they're about to notice. Alex is the third person to remind him that the water is warm and that he'll enjoy it. That's why they're here, right?

JJ beans him with a squishy basketball, soaks the entire front of his shirt. “GET IN LOSER!” she hollers, wrestling Henry back down into the water before he can climb out to grab the ball from Derek.

Penelope has already made several comments about depriving them all of the Derek Morgan gun show, even Reid has mentioned that Hank looks like he'd really like to test it out. Finally, when Hotch can't take it anymore, he downs the rest of his beer and pulls his own t-shirt over his head.

None of them has ever seen him without a shirt, never even dreamed that it was a possibility. Frankly, most of them probably thought he slept in his suits (and they weren't exactly wrong on occasion, he had been known to fall asleep sitting at his desk or on his couch, curl up in a ball for a quick nap on top of his hotel bed...) so when he shows up in sweaters and khakis, or today in a t-shirt and swim trunks, people are already more than a little off guard. It doesn't look like the Hotch any of them remembers.

And when he takes his shirt off, baring for the first time not only the notes that George Foyet left scrawled all over his skin but a map of cruelty that stretches in a timeline of silvery scars back to his childhood, they can't help but look. His back is just as scarred as his front. “Hank, come here buddy,” Hotch says, extending his arms to the little guy who crawls happily from Derek to Hotch. He doesn't hesitate.

"Poo!!"

"Yes, buddy. Let's go try out the pool."

Derek is even staring. He can't help it. The sight isn't new to him, Hotch and Haley had a pool at their house and he was no stranger to disarming the alarm and hopping their fence late at night when his nightmares wouldn't quit and taking full advantage of the water. Most of the time he would find Hotch already in the same place, floating away from crime scene photos that whispered in his ear when the night stretched out a little too long. Got a little too dark.

But this sight, he's realizing now, has belonged to him so long he's not sure how to share it. Or even if he wants to. He wants to protect it. Like their eyes will wound him. He knows damn well that's stupid; Hotch isn't even that bothered by it anymore, it's just a comfort thing for him...he doesn't like to be cold. He likes layers.

All eyes are on Hotch and Hank as they take the steps down into the shallow end of the pool one at a time. The crystalline water laps at his ankles, his calves, his knees, and he hisses when the cold meets his waist and everything below. The shock of it takes his breath away. Hank giggles when the cold water tickles his toes and he tightens his grip around Hotch's neck.

“It's okay,” Hotch whispers against his ear. “I've got you.”

He bends his knees and lowers them down into the water until Hank is up to his knees and trying to scale him to get away from it. “You're choking me, bud,” Hotch laughs, trying to pry little fingers from his neck.

It doesn't take much thought before Derek takes his shirt off. If Hotch can do it, so can he. That was the idea, right? All eyes on Hotch, a distraction. He appreciates the gesture. Derek dives into the deep end and swims like a shark, stealthy under the water all the way to his son and Hotch teasing the water with baby toes. He surfaces, water pouring over his head and down his shoulders and he grins, drenched and happy. Hank claps.

"Den! Den!"

"Again?! What do you think I am?" Derek asks, but he obliges. Dripping wet, he hops out and repeats the stunt two, three, four more times until he's winded.

“Want me to take him?” he asks, standing close to catch his breath.

“Not a chance. He's keeping me warm,” Hotch insists with a smirk. “I was told the water was nice. These people are all liars.”

“I coulda told you that,” Derek says, wrapping his arms around both of them. He's sunny and warm, already mostly dry, and he can't believe that even in the afternoon sun Hotch's skin feels chilled. The man's circulatory system is a joke.

Now everyone is staring, but they're not staring at scars. “You two wanna let us in on whatever this is?” Emily asks, stretching out like a cat on top of her pink floatie and extending her arm to the edge of the pool, silently asking whoever is near for a refill. Rossi takes the bait gladly and gives her a heavy pour of something blushy, ice cold and sparkly. Her drink matches her floatie.

Hotch glances at her, and then at everyone else, and smiles. It's easier now, he's finding, when he doesn't have anything to lose. No job to protect, no secrets, no lies. In the morning they'll fly to Venezuela and spend a week exploring with Savannah during her break, and then they'll go back to their life in their house and their jobs in Chicago. Some of these people watching the standoff will return to their own BAU-free lives, and the rest will report to Emily bright and early Monday morning.

What he is surprised to find, in that moment, is that it all adds up to one simple fact: he has nothing to hide. No reason to hide.

But he can have some fun.

“If we have to explain this to a group of profilers, you may want to re-evaluate your team, Agent Prentiss.” He says it softly, not a trace of Agent Hotchner and his biting tone anywhere in it. And the smile actually reaches his eyes. She can't help but laugh at the rebuff.

“Touche.”

They swim until nightfall. Well, most of them do. Hotch's grand gesture to make Derek feel more at ease was short lived, his skin was flooded with goosebumps the minute Penelope and JJ took warm little Hank from his arms and he had to get out, get his shirt back on and hide beneath a sun-baked towel. He might come away with a sunburn but better that than freeze to death in summer.

Exhausted from the excitement of swimming and playing lawn games with the other kids, Hank passes out on Hotch's chest sprawled out like a starfish, leaving a puddle of drool that drenches his entire side. Derek plays pool games well into the evening with JJ and Will and Luke while Emily and Penelope float and drink. In the shade, Reid and Alex are playing a card game while Rossi and Luke trade stories. There are more people everywhere, some Hotch knows well and others he only recognizes, but it feels like a family. Some of them see each other every day, others pop in and out for special occasions, but they're all welcome.

“Thanks for inviting us, Rossi,” Derek says, shutting the car door on two sleeping boys and Hotch who looks about ready to join them. He's already spent the last couple of hours napping on a lawn chair. “Sorry we can't stay any later, our flight leaves early tomorrow.”

“Thank you for coming,” Rossi replies, hugging Derek for the third or fourth time that day. Harder this time. He smells like wine and is crying again. “You two...” he starts, allowing for the tears to have their places. “Don't be strangers.”

“Yeah. We won't. Thanks for bringing us back.”

#aaron hotchner #derek morgan #bau team #team as a family #hotchgan #mortch #pool party vibes #fanfiction #criminal minds #hotch x morgan #aaron hotchner x derek morgan

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rarijackistheshit · 7 months

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stole it from @randomisedmongoose

rules: give us the links to your fic with the most hits, second most kudos, third most comments, fourth most bookmarks, fifth most words, and fic with the fewest words.

As the title says. Okay!

Most hits: I have to say I was surprised. I was pretty darn sure it was annother one but... Dork Diaries - The chronicles of a (not so) succesful lesbian takes the top. 10000 views. Sweeet... Adora as Nikki. Catra as Mackenzie and its all downhill from there.

Second most kudos: Hmmm. This needs some calculations, I have a few others... Okay, I will say this is the one.

Twilight Sparkle vs. Christmas. A blatant ripoff from a moomin short story but I have no shame. Yes, I have stories on fimfiction as well. Look at it in awe, Archive of our own! THIS is how you design a website!

Third most comments: Mmmmkay... Another one where I have to get my pocket calculator... It was a close shave, but this is the one.

The coochie snorcher that could. If you catch the reference, cool. This is smut, but I am pretty satisfied with it. It's also a pretty rare pair, Fluttershy/Adagio Dazzle. This one goes out to my fellow bronies. I know you are there. We will never forget.

Fourth most bookmarks: You know what, this was a boring post. I will just put one up here that I think more people should read.

You're welcome. Me and Bagges attempt to do crackship. Castaspella/Shadow Weaver. The psychology of how their relationship would work. This one I am really damn proud of.

Fifth most words: I'm gonna cheat with this one as well, because the real fifth is unfinished and I don't think that's fair on a list.

Best Friend Squad RIDES AGAIN. A rambling tale of a middle aged Adora getting her mojo back with the help of her old friends and a few guns.

Fewest words: Another cheat. The real one is supposed to be a selection of drafts but I have only made one entry. So have yourself some nice Derpy/Rarity as a send-off!

Live long in Phosphor!

#Not the fics I expected but still fun #Do steal #I want to see what others do.

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oaresearchpaper · 3 months

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Oyster Nut: Ethnobotanical Insights from Northern Tanzania

Abstract

Telfairia pedata (Sims) Hook is an important native climber plant commonly grown in East Africa. It bears nuts which are eaten either raw or cooked and is consumed mostly by expectant mothers, and as cooking oil. The survey was conducted between September 2019 to February 2020 in Sambaa, Meru, and Pare communities of Lushoto, Bumbuli, Arumeru and Same Districts, Northern Tanzania to assess the ethnobotany of T. pedata from a sample of 346 respondents using semi-structured questionnaires. Results indicate that, 21% of respondents used T. pedata for cooking with other staple foods while 18% claimed that the nuts are used by pregnant and lactating mothers for medicinal and breast milk stimulation and nine (9) percent indicated that the nuts are used for cultural and ritual purposes. Despite its importance, the cultivation of T. pedata in the study area is declining and the gap why such decline is experienced needs to be answered in further studies. Secondly, respondents within the 36-50 age groups reported the greatest diversity of uses of T. pedata 51% compared with those aged below 36 years old 21% signifying that the traditional knowledge known by younger aged groups may be declining. Thus, this gap of traditional knowledge between the groups should be addressed in order to improve utilization and conservation of this seriously declining yet important nut in the study area and other places of Tanzania.

Introduction

Local societies are known to have ethnobotany knowledge that is inherited from one generation to another through word of mouth on economic, medical, ecological and cultural benefits (Hamilton, 2003) (Young, 2007) (Tamalene et al., 2016). Ethnobotany assists in explaining utilization and preservation of the plants biodiversity thus maintaining local ecological systems and culture (Reid et al., 2009).

Telfairia pedata (Smiths ex Sim) Hook (Fig. 1), is Cucurbitaceae family from a small genus of flowering plant which is native in Tanzania including Zanzibar Island and other countries of Africa including Uganda and northern Mozambique (I. A. Ajayi et al., 2004)(Aregheore, 2012). It is also well known by its local names in regions of Kilimanjaro, Arusha, Tanga and Ruvuma as "mkweme", "ngoimee" or "ikwemee" and "makunguu", “nhahani” and so forth. It is a woody dioecious climber with coiled tendrils which bears squash like fruits containing nutritious oil seeds and grows well in well drained loamy soils (Van der Vossen & Mkamilo, 2007), Fig. 1. The plant is a facultative perennial which is grown in slightly shaded and mulched areas but not damp soils and also creeps on host trees, live hedges or staked on wooden framework (Ajibade et al., 2006; Grubben, 2008; Paul & Yavitt, 2011). T. pedata nuts are rich in oil content, fat, protein, polyunsaturated fatty acids, monounsaturated fatty acids, minerals including magnesium, phosphorous (Akoroda, 1990b; Mwakasege et al., 2021).

In Tanzania, ethnobotanical facets and uses of T. pedata have not yet been adequately documented specially in terms of local people’s livelihoods, how it used, cultivated, marketed, preserved and its conservation measures. Among local plants long used by the Pare, Chagga, Sambaa, and Meru tribes, the T. pedata is one which is harvested from the home gardens and agroforestry systems (trees mixed with annual crops) as a source of food, for cultural rituals and medicine. In these communities, traditional knowledge about T. pedata has been passed down and applied for generations (Ajayi et al., 2004; Odiaka et al., 2008).

Therefore, this study aims at documenting and collating knowledge on the indigenous uses of T. pedata nuts and its cultivation practices in order to support the consumption and utilization of the plant in a sustainable manner, while providing benefits to the local communities through conservation of traditional knowledge. We examined the ethnobotany of T. pedata in northern Tanzania with the expectations that, the socio-demographic characteristic on T. pedata differ across the study sites; there were different ethnobotanical uses of T. pedata across the study area; areas where T. pedata were cultivated differ across study area with gender; perception of abundance of T. pedata differ across the study area and T. pedata nuts were stored in different methods across the sturdy area.

Source : Ethnobotany of Oyster nut (Telfairia pedata) in Northern Tanzania

#Telfairia #Livelihood #Utilization #Indigenous knowledge #Conservation

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luhatev · 6 months

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Risa: "Can i lick it..?" Calliope: "No?? Damn?? dont do that?" Risa: "But its yellow, what does yellow taste like?" Calliope: "Phosphorous? maybe??" Luna: "Mmmm, egg colour, yolk, egg flavor, omlette.. zzzz" Calliope: "Do you not see the red skull on the bottle?" Risa: "Im gonna do it-" Meanwhile Byakuya to Makoto:

Byakuya: "Theyre reagents, to put it simple, theyre used in experiments to bring out a chemical reaction."

He hears Risa behind him wanting to touch and lick the powder on the floor.

Byakuya: "Risa- stop, don't- tch whatever. How have you lived in such ignorance for so long?"

The sentence was aimed at Makoto but he was clearly still looking at Risa when he said it.

Byakuya: "I mean- makoto, it must truly be bliss." Byakuya: "What, you think studying science and mathematics has no practical application in the real world?" Risa behind him: "no." Byakuya: "Tch.. The words of a lifelong loser. Which, i suppose, suits you well." Aimed at both Makoto and Risa.

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annakie · 1 year

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Four Hours and Fifteen Minutes

I cannot put into words how normal today was until about 11:15 this morning.

Fry woke me up, mostly, around 6am. I also needed to pee, so I got up, then went back to bed. Fry kept being annoying, so I didn't really sleep that last hour, and eventually I sat up and browsed Reddit. Fry started being EXTRA annoying, telling me every few seconds that I needed to get up and feed them, so I put on my headphones and played music, especially when Leela started joining in the chorus from the living room. They don't get fed until after 7am, or they start expecting it earlier and earlier.

Later, as I was still sitting up browsing, Leela jumped up onto the bed. She occasionally comes and visits in the bedroom since it's opened up after Patchy died in August, but rarely stays long. She didn't stay long this time either, but for about five minutes she walked around me, and I petted her a bunch as she did. She hopped back down and headed to her bed on my desk, between one monitor and my computer, a bed on a heated mat on fairly low heat.

Always in the back of my mind now, especially the last two months, is a reminder that I almost lost her in April, 2021. Since then she's been on borrowed time, when the emergency vet brought her back around when one of her kidneys started failing and got infected. She's only had one working one since, and her blood levels have started inching up in bad kidney-related ways. So the last two months she's been on a pretty strict diet of low-phosphorous food.

Tomorrow, I reminded myself, she had a vet appointment to get those levels checked. I was hoping for a good report, though she does still get her treats, and sometimes sneaks off to eat Fry and Pemily's not-low-phosphorous food. Still, she's been happy and energetic the last two months and I had very little to report.

Eventually I got up, fed the Outside cats (still working on making them inside cats), grabbed a small handful of their food, sprinkled some on the floor to make Fry hunt for it. Opened the bedroom door. He, Pemily and Leela ran in. Fry ran to his hunting spot while I called Leela and Pemily to follow me back to the Office.

Leela got about six pieces of the junk food, Pemily got about twice that. I grabbed Leela's water bowl and now-empty-except-for-crusties food bowl and Pemily's little water bowl, along with my Yeti mug.

Leela yelled for food as soon as she finished her few pieces of kibble. I opened a new can of her food and spooned out over half of it into a clean food dish, filled the two small water bowls with cold, filtered water from the Brita, and walked back to the desk.

I set Pemily's water bowl down first, and Leela headed for it, before I called her back over to her own bowl of cool water and plate of food. She ate, ravenously, and drank her cool water with gusto. I headed back to the kitchen, filled my Yeti with ice, refilled the ice tray, poured water.

A little while later I made coffee and a bagel, Leela had almost finished her food and wanted the remainders smooshed so she could eat it better, I smooshed it.

A little while after that she was about done and calling for more food, loudly. So I went back and put the rest of the food from the 3.3oz can in the dish, knowing she wouldn't quite finish it. That's fine, Pemily or Fry could have it before I got Leela's dinner that evening.

I was right, she only ate about half of the remainders of the food. Whatever.

At 10:30 I had a meeting. I had to tell Leela to shush a time or two and apologize for her friendly talkative nature. I also told my boss about the vet appointment the next morning. He asked if everything was OK. Yeah, I said, probably! Just a check on her blood levels, since she only has one working kidney. She's old, almost 18, but aside from that, she's doing great. Hopefully we'll get a good report tomorrow!

I stopped Pemily from eating Leela's food as she snuggled in to the other bed on the desk, then the meeting started in earnest. I was mostly just taking notes, which is easy but requires a lot of looking at the screen.

At about 11 Leela hopped off the desk and went to her bathroom spot, and relieved herself. Then she had a good run around the house for about a minute, as is her way after her morning constitutional. She was yelling as she ran, as is usual, but I had my mic muted so didn't have to shush her or apologize for her. I don't mind it. She's running and happy, which must mean, she's healthy. Run all you want, itty bit.

At 11:15, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Leela standing up on her hindquarters for an inordinately long time. I looked over and she was falling backwards off the desk. I didn't have a hope to catch her. I expected her to leap back up in a few seconds.

But she didn't.

So after about fifteen seconds I got up and went behind the desk and looked, and she was laying on the floor, looking dazed. She didn't look like she hit her head, more like she was splayed out.

I carefully checked her to see if she was hurt, but didn't seem so. She was slowly moving herself. Still, I was concerned. I unmuted my mic and said I need to be out of the meeting for a bit, remuted, then took my headset off.

I picked her up and put her in the other cat bed so I could see her easily, Pemily had left at some point. For about a minute she just laid there looking around slowly, then she got up and walked back to HER bed.

OK. She's alert, she's walking. Nothing seemed broken or hurt. She just had an oopsie, she'd caught her claws on something, yanked her arm back too hard, lost balance and fell. Clumsy, but it happens. I'll keep an eye on her.

After being out for five or seven minutes, I put my headset back on and finished out the meeting.

For the next two hours I was checking her every ten or fifteen minutes. She seemed a little slow, but mostly alert, and she didn't throw up or show other signs of trauma, so I let her be, and let her sleep. I’d mention it tomorrow at the vet.

Leela was awake around one forty five. She was alert and acting completely normal. She ate a bite or two of food. I was watching her, with one eye on my work screen, when her entire body tensed up, she pulled one arm to her body in a true claw-like manor, and was shaking a little.

No, something WAS wrong. I tried comforting her for a second then grabbed my phone. By the time I got my camera recording it was mostly over, but I caught some of it at the end.

She has a doctor's appointment in sixteen hours, I thought. What is this? Can I google it? She went back to being normal within a minute of the incident. I thought about the icy roads outside, if it would be safe to leave, or if it was an emergency now.

I tried, for about ten minutes, and of course none of it was good. I realized I was being dumb. I grabbed my phone and started pulling up my vet's number.

And then she did it again. It was definitely some kind of seizure. Now near freaking-out levels, I dialed, and it connected to my fucking headphones, and the next time too despite me trying to stop it. The third time, now I was full on shaking as I held Leela through the end of whatever was happening to her, I tried to hold my panic in as I talked to the office.

They put me on hold to check to make sure they had the capacity or if I'd need to go to the emergency vet. I quickly threw on clean clothes while waiting, forgoing a shower I probably really needed.

Bring her in, they said. I'll be there in twenty minutes, I said.

The ice had, thankfully, mostly melted on the roads throughout the day. I slid a few times, there was a lot of slush out there, but I told myself from the second I got her in the carrier and into the car, that I had to drive safe.

I did. And I talked to Leela the whole way, wanting to hear her cry because that meant she wasn't seizing.

And I thought about December 28, 2016. Driving Cebu to the vet after I woke up and he'd been throwing up blood and barely responsive. I thought about my dashcam recording of that morning that I found myself watching, listening to Cebu moan in pain and me begging him to hang on, knowing I was taking him to leave, more peacefully than now.

I thought about December 25th, 2016. When I didn't take Jim to the vet soon enough and he died in the middle of the night, alone without me, and probably scared.

I thought about August 12th, 2022. Worried, but not really giving thought to the fact that Patchy had gotten THAT bad. Thinking they'd re-hydrate her, give her some anti-nausea meds and tell me to double her prednisone again, buy her a few more weeks or months. Until Dr. N saw her blood levels.

I tried not to think about that, tried not to think that this could be Leela's last car ride. That I could be leaving there without her.

I mean fuck, her KIDNEYS are supposed to kill her. I've known that for almost two years!! What the fuck was THIS!?

I made it to the vet, with only a light amount of crying and icy road problems along the way. Took her inside and she'd been vocal the whole time AND while waiting in the lobby, voicing her displeasure. Got her into a room and she'd peed in the carrier.

I took her out and was starting to clean it up when Dr. N came in.

I gave him the history of the day. Of how ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY NORMAL she was all morning. The time of her first seizure. I was sure I hadn't seen anything like it earlier in the morning or anytime yesterday. I was with her like twelve to fourteen hours most days. It's possible she could have had one overnight but... she was normal by Breakfast so I didn’t think so.

Yes, she ate a lot. She pooped and RAN before the first one.

Okay, he said. It could have been a lack of oxygen and too much stress from the running. While we were talking, she tried jumping off the table, but I caught her pre-jump and held her.

Let's do bloodwork.

He took her, took some blood, they cleaned her up of any pee and cleaned the carrier as well.

They brought her back in and it was awhile for the results, so I was just holding her, talking her, then she climbed down and was hanging out on my Kaidan hoodie crumpled in the corner of the bench. I was absentmindedly petting her watching animal planet on the TV in the room... when she fell over onto me. Seizing.

I stood up carefully and laid her flat and called for Dr. N. A few seconds later he and the vet tech rushed in, put her on the exam table and held her through the seizure.

And when he was done, he looked up at me, still petting her as she recovered and told me the news.

Her bloodwork was very different this time than last time. Her kidney levels looked fine.

But some other numbers (he said them but I don't remember) were off the chart.

She's got lymphoma.

FUCKING. LYMPHOMA.

THE SAME. FUCKING. THING. THAT. KILLED. PATCHY.

They aren't related.

It happened in the last two months, and we didn't do any further tests, but he was sure that at the levels she had, and you know the fucking SEIZURES, it must have spread to the Central Nervous System.

He said we could TRY anti-seizure meds and prednisone, the same medicine Patchy was on for the last thirteen and a half months of her life. But this had ravaged Leela much faster than it had younger, healthier Patchy.

I could take her home and try over the weekend, he said. It would be at least a weekend before we knew if it would help.

If it didn't help, she would be seizing all weekend. She could die at any time from one of the seizures. It would be uncomfortable and painful for her. It would be difficult for me, especially if she didn't respond well.

It's possible it would buy her weeks of life, but literally one of the numbers she had was off the chart. Normal bad was like fifteen thousand. Hers were like two hundred thousand, he explained. They ran the tests twice, that's why it took so long.

It was my decision, he said. Give me a few minutes to think about it, I said.

He left. I held Leela and cried and tried to decide. She was worth the pain of trying to me. Tomorrow is Friday, I could see how tomorrow went on the meds, and they were open half of Saturday so I could bring her in then, if things didn't go well---

she seized again. In my arms.

Each one looked worse and lasted longer.

I called for the doctor but he was with another patient. I just held her and rubbed her head through it, until she twisted so much she almost slipped out of my arms.

I put her back on the table, and kept her warm while waiting. Dr. N came in and I told her she seized again, just minutes after the last one. He looked at me, and we both knew. We knew. I nodded.

He gave me a few minutes to say goodbye. I told her over and over again how much I love her, and that she was going to go see Jim again. Tell him, and Target, Sampo, Cebu and Patchy how much I love and missed them.

They took her to put the catheter in, I texted my boss and my family.

They brought her back in, already sleepy.

And then the medicine went in, and I petted her until her last breath. She still had bits of food on her nose from breakfast.

I thanked Dr. N. Told him I wanted to full package individual cremation, gave Leela one last kiss on the head, and left.

It was like, four hours and fifteen minutes from "Leela fell off the desk" to goodbye.

I left the vet in a daze, feeling like I'd been punched in the face.

I came home, changed into clean pajamas, didn't look at her spot where she was supposed to be on the desk. Grabbed my Yeti and a new box of Puff's Plus and went to the bedroom, where I laid for three hours, crying wondering how the fuck this happened. Texted one person, then felt like a jerk for dumping on them.

Called my mom, telling her all of this made me feel better.

Eventually got the courage to come out here and start typing this. After I cleaned up her bathroom area, and swapped out her tiny cat bed for one of the bigger beds. There's no reason why Fry and Pemily can't sleep there now.

I tried showing Fry he could go there now, but he left immediately. Different reaction than them happily reclaiming the master bedroom the instant I left the door open when Patchy was gone.

I've wracked my brain for some kind of sign that I'd missed.

Patchy had slowly gotten sick, eating less and less and throwing up more and more when she got lymphoma.

Leela has been eating like a horse and only thrown up hairballs a few times.

Leela gained weight.

There was a sneezing thing Leela had done a few times lately but it didn't seem neurological. I had videoed her doing it last week, once out of the like, three times she did it in the last two months. I didn't ask about it today. I could next time I go in, I guess. Not that it matters now. That’s the only thing I can think of, though.

I just... I can't wrap my head around how fast she went from "having a great morning!" to rapidly seizing five times in four hours.

I still worry that I should have given her a CHANCE. It was four hours. It's not impossible that she would have gotten through it and...

...and her blood numbers were way off the charts. And she likely would have had many more seizures, and she could have died here at home and I could have done nothing to stop it but watch her suffer.

Fuck.

She deserved to leave peacefully, and not in pain.

She was old. Two months and a week from eighteen. Once she became mine, she had a mostly happy life, once Fry stopped bullying her.

I very nearly lost her almost two years ago and every day since then has been bonus time. I used to morbidly joke that the money I spent on saving her life back then would be divided by the number of days that she survived past that, and I paid that much for every day of her life had been worth that much. The number is $7.71. I'd so gladly give $7.71 every day for another almost two years with her.

She's with Jim now, I am telling myself. In my little cottage in heaven. Cuddled up with Jim for the first time in a long time. They were friends. Jim didn't really like other animals but he did tolerate or even love Leela. They didn't cuddle often, but he let her when she wanted to sometimes.

So now I'm imagining her up with him, Cebu hanging out nearby. Meeting Target and Sampo, checking in on the bedroom and seeing Patchy there. Jim and Leela in a spot near where they know I'm going to be, just within arms reach, waiting.

I'll write a memorial post later, write down everything I want to remember about her. Right now I just am in that place where I am trying to believe it's real while desperately hoping it's all a very bad dream.

#my pets #pet death tw #memorial post #very sad post feel no guilt for not reading

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haleigh-sloth · 2 years

Note

Tenko/Tomura shares his regeneration quirk with Bakugo? Bakugo breaks down the door in vestige world so Deku can get in? Any new or changed ideas with Bakugo and Shiggy becoming friends? And any theory on what Deku is doing? Currently I wonder if he stopped to have lunch at a fancy restaurant.

Gonna say it's unlikely on the regeneration thing. Giving and taking quirks probably (hopefully) won't be a solution for anybody outside of Deku and Shigaraki because of the whole "eating away at your life force" shit. Plus it's not really a good or interesting or creative way to progress the plot. Plus it'd be way out of place here anyway. ShigAFO has no reason to give him a regeneration quirk.

I saw some post pointing out how Nitroglycerin is used to help hearts or something. Given Hori's recent inclusion of using elements (phosphorous lmao) I may expect him to use that somehow. But if not that, Bakugo will be fine some way or another. Just because your heart stops doesn't mean you're dead. Peoples' hearts stop and are resuscitated often. But we don't even need to get medical with it, because Shigaraki came back after his little near death experience in the dream scape also.

On Bakugo breaking down the vestige door and Izuku entering: POSSIBLY. Maybe. Definitely a possibility.

We need more information. But for theorizing--either Bakugo will literally be in the vestige and open that vault door while Izuku enters and then gets to Tenko, or he metaphorically opens that vault door. And by that I mean, on the outside he creates an opening or an opportunity for Izuku to GET to Shigaraki on the outside, so that he and Shigaraki can both enter the vestige together and settle their stuff there, while Bakugo remains on the outside still. I feel like if it went the metaphorical route (which I'd prefer tbh), it would be incredibly obvious visually that he's still following in the 2nd user's steps. Somehow Hori would pull it off if he did that. And I think it's possible.

Regardless---Bakugo is that bridge between Shigaraki and Izuku. Bakugo has been in Shigaraki's position in a few ways (hijacked body, sought out by Shigaraki, rejection and understanding play a part in his arc). All while simultaneously walking the same heroic journey as Izuku. Again, he doesn't have a villain counterpart. So imo, his position would best be used to bring the two sides together. In his case, it would be the villain and hero he IS associated with in the saving challenge. So those two.

On what Izuku is doing: Probably fighting seagulls.

On the endgame with those three: My prediction hasn't changed. I think the three of them will team up together to defeat AFO, the common enemy. And after that experience I still think in the end they'll be friends and all three like each other. And be in each other's lives from that point forward, like implied somehow (photos at the end showing them older or something idk).

My long term predictions haven't changed since like, 2020: Shigaraki and Midoriya--->friends; possibly annoying sibling dynamic since AFO/OFA is a brother feud. Shigaraki and Bakugo and Midoriya--->disasters when together, but they have fun. Touya--->with family, annoying dead beat oldest sibling. Toga and Ochacko---> Toga at UA with them, they're besties, Tsuyu too.

#i don't have a serious guess as to what deku is doing i'm sorry lajfasj #i'm assuming either fighting or it was a fleet of people sent to get him and transport him maybe #but that feels like a stretch #i'm guessing he's fighting #bnha #boku no hero academia #anonymous #bnha asks #bnha spoilers #bnha 362 #shigaraki tomura #shimura tenko #bakugo katsuki #midoryia izuku #bnha predictions

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class1akids · 1 year

Note

My fears for phosphor for Dabi came true, not only can he use it without any draw backs but now he can burn Shouto which is a load of bullshit. Otherwise this chapter wasn't that bad.

If only Dabi gets an upgrade, I would agree. But I don't think that will be the case.

First, "without any drawbacks" is highly questionable - everyone seems to feel like he's truly burning himself out. What more, Touya himself seems to think he won't last.

Second, I don't think it's bad that he can burn even Shouto. Shouto is incredibly fire resistant, so that means Phosphor + Fire has the DPS potential perhaps of dealing with hyper-regeneration. It may be a break-through they will need in the end.

Third, I think Shouto is getting ready for an upgrade too. Touya got his power-up by watching Shouto and copying him, and now Shouto is also watching Touya noticing things like his battle sense and his determination.

I feel like there is a theme - being separated makes them weaker. Shouto and Touya who were separated for their entire lives are now getting a chance to "mingle" and watch each other and learn from each other. So if Touya is meant to grow from this encounter, so will Shouto.

Also, I feel like the page that refers to the 3 Todorokis specifically regarding the changing of the weather may be foreshadowing that just like Endeavor's way to be No 1 was to make alliances and step up team work compared to All Might's lone Superman act, he'll have to do the same on his family side. Instead of trying to breed an All Might 2.0, strength lies in putting together everyone's power.

Endeavor came up with Flashfire as a concept, Shouto built on it to make Phosphor, so maybe if Touya comes up also with his very first move on his own, it will be the key to unlock something even greater?

So let's see. It's going to be a long wait, but so far it feels like it's going in the general direction I felt it would.

#c1a asks #bnha manga leaks #bnha manga spoilers #bnha 374

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faytelumos · 1 year

Text

I was writing, but then I came upon the fact that I don’t actually know what a healthy diet for my 300-600 pound reptiles would look like.

If you plan to keep reading, please tighten your seatbelts, not because this is exciting, but because we’ll be taking 90 degree turns at 45mph. This is basically just me researching out loud so people can see my process. Also, I will be mentioning various parts of animals that may make some people queasy.

Useveu are a species of intelligent, flight-capable reptiles that, in adulthood, stand between 6 to 9 feet high on average and weight roughly (so roughly) 300 to 600 pounds on average. They are carnivores, but they live closely to humans, and would therefore eventually incorporate other types of foods into their diets.

(I think it’s worth it to note that the humans who live in countries where Useveu are common almost always have a vegetarian diet. There are logistical and social reasons for this.)

Reptiles like komodo dragons and snakes can eat pretty much every kind of meat. Bones and organs are definitely going to be in an Usevuth’s diet, as well. Reptiles like geckos, however, seem to need veggies, and one thing I read specifically said to make sure geckos are getting enough calcium.

Komodo dragons and snakes eat their prey’s bones, but a gecko isn’t big enough to eat vertebrates. Pet birds, also, are said to need calcium-rich diets, and we humans go crazy for calcium supplements, but again, pet birds and song birds don’t get opportunities to eat bones, and humans don’t exactly make an effort to eat them.

So maybe Useveu won’t naturally need calcium-rich vegetables. And maybe they don’t need to avoid phosphorous if their intake of bone is high enough. But they are a social species living with another social species, and both have relatively high populations, and they have to pay for their food.

Poor Useveu will largely exist off of chicken, eggs, and probably fish for their meats. These are all high in calcium when consumed whole. But there are more dietary needs than that. Useveu are huge animals, and in whatever wild conditions their bodies evolved to cope with, they definitely eat red meat. If their body relies on red meat in their diet but they’re too poor to afford meat from larger animals, this could lead to iron and vitamin B deficiencies.

I think the bottom line for the fact of whether these guys are getting everything they need from a diet of animals is pretty straightforward. If they are consuming healthy animals whole, they themselves will be healthy. This is with the sole exception of deficiencies from being unable to afford red meats. These can probably be compensated for with the purchase of blood (iron, affordable) and whatever amounts of liver (B vitamins, expensive) can be managed.

My questions becomes what non-animal items an Usevuth can eat off of a human’s plate.

I know for a fact that Usevase (males) will have citrus in their diets. But citrus fruits require a substantial amount of water to grow, and in a pre industrial revolution world where there are no freshwater rivers or lakes particularly nearby, these foods become expensive. However, there are trains, which can extend the reach of an affordable citrus belt. Flying to buy or deliver groceries like this would be impractical and expensive, since the quantity of products would be small for such a long distance.

Citrus fruits contain a lot of oils, acids, and vitamin C. Usevase have a bodily use for the oils (which can be harmful to digestion in other animals), and will build a tolerance to the acids. Psoralen, which is a substance that can cause cell damage when combined with sunlight in the skin, would be mostly harmless to Useveu thanks to their scales.

So citrus doesn’t pose a threat to my reptiles that I have to worldbuild around. Then I look to staples of human vegetarian diets that will grow in the climate I’m looking at, as these will be foods Useveu are most likely to ingest.

Vegetarian staples are largely going to be protein-rich foods, like lentils, beans, quinoa, and eggs. My climate can’t grow quinoa, but soy and lentil are fine. Another good food would probably be brown rice, which can grow in this climate, as well. Looking at its contents for things that could hurt a reptile, I see unfamiliar things like selenium and manganese, but both are water soluble and will be passed by the body once it has the amount it needs. Bread is another thing that will likely find its way into an Usevuth’s diet, and wheat is both accessible and appears to be non-toxic.

Last on the list of human foods I’m going to bother worrying about is cabbage, which appears to be completely fine for reptiles. Some species have trouble due to acidity or phosphorous levels in various breeds of cabbage, but this shouldn’t be a problem for Useveu.

So there I have it. I wasted what must have been almost an hour and a half finding out that nothing I was trying to feed my reptiles was actually going to hurt them. But at least now I know!

눈_눈

Writing is great. Always do your research.

---

Yes, I have sources. No, I will not format or further fact-check them.

https://ielc.libguides.com/sdzg/factsheets/komododragon/diet

https://www.completecritter.com/leopard-gecko.html

https://birdsupplies.com/blogs/news/144550983-calcium-deficiency-in-parrots-and-what-to-do-about-it

https://reptilecraze.com/what-human-foods-can-snakes-eat/

https://www.fitday.com/fitness-articles/nutrition/healthy-eating/white-meat-vs-red-meat.html

https://www.historyrundown.com/can-cats-and-dogs-eat-citrus-fruits/

https://www.thekitchn.com/10-vegetarian-staples-that-are-always-on-my-shopping-list-252972

https://morningchores.com/growing-quinoa/

https://www.homedepot.com/c/ai/find-your-usda-plant-hardiness-zone/9ba683603be9fa5395fab90108cf77fc

https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/is-brown-rice-good-for-you#nutrition

https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/selenium/

https://www.mountsinai.org/health-library/supplement/manganese

https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/foods/wheat#vitamins-and-minerals

https://homeguides.sfgate.com/conditions-need-grow-rice-wheat-corn-soybeans-80104.html

https://dragonsdiet.com/blogs/dragon-care/can-bearded-dragons-eat-cabbage

https://www.animalhouseofchicago.com/news/reptile-amphibian-herbivore-nutrition

#worldbuilding #food worldbuilding #not canon #dragon worldbuilding #dragon diet #worldbuilding research #writing research #this is what research looks like I guess #just wanted to share the thoughts and process I go through #for one line of a story #this took so long #*drags hands down face*#I am better for this knowledge and now anyone who needs it has it you're welcome #writing

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publicdomainbooks · 2 years

Text

CHAPTER 29

ON THE WATERS—A RAFT VOYAGE

On the thirteenth of August we were up betimes. There was no time to be lost. We now had to inaugurate a new kind of locomotion, which would have the advantage of being rapid and not fatiguing.

A mast, made of two pieces of wood fastened together, to give additional strength, a yard made from another one, the sail a linen sheet from our bed. We were fortunately in no want of cordage, and the whole on trial appeared solid and seaworthy.

At six o'clock in the morning, when the eager and enthusiastic Professor gave the signal to embark, the victuals, the luggage, all our instruments, our weapons, and a goodly supply of sweet water, which we had collected from springs in the rocks, were placed on the raft.

Hans had, with considerable ingenuity, contrived a rudder, which enabled him to guide the floating apparatus with ease. He took the tiller, as a matter of course. The worthy man was as good a sailor as he was a guide and duck hunter. I then let go the painter which held us to the shore, the sail was brought to the wind, and we made a rapid offing.

Our sea voyage had at length commenced; and once more we were making for distant and unknown regions.

Just as we were about to leave the little port where the raft had been constructed, my uncle, who was very strong as to geographic nomenclature, wanted to give it a name, and among others, suggested mine.

"Well," said I, "before you decide I have another to propose."

"Well; out with it."

"I should like to call it Gretchen. Port Gretchen will sound very well on our future map."

"Well then, Port Gretchen let it be," said the Professor.

And thus it was that the memory of my dear girl was attached to our adventurous and memorable expedition.

When we left the shore the wind was blowing from the northward and eastward. We went directly before the wind at a much greater speed than might have been expected from a raft. The dense layers of atmosphere at that depth had great propelling power and acted upon the sail with considerable force.

At the end of an hour, my uncle, who had been taking careful observations, was enabled to judge of the rapidity with which we moved. It was far beyond anything seen in the upper world.

"If," he said, "we continue to advance at our present rate, we shall have traveled at least thirty leagues in twenty-four hours. With a mere raft this is an almost incredible velocity."

I certainly was surprised, and without making any reply went forward upon the raft. Already the northern shore was fading away on the edge of the horizon. The two shores appeared to separate more and more, leaving a wide and open space for our departure. Before me I could see nothing but the vast and apparently limitless sea—upon which we floated—the only living objects in sight.

Huge and dark clouds cast their grey shadows below—shadows which seemed to crush that colorless and sullen water by their weight. Anything more suggestive of gloom and of regions of nether darkness I never beheld. Silvery rays of electric light, reflected here and there upon some small spots of water, brought up luminous sparkles in the long wake of our cumbrous bark. Presently we were wholly out of sight of land; not a vestige could be seen, nor any indication of where we were going. So still and motionless did we seem without any distant point to fix our eyes on that but for the phosphoric light at the wake of the raft I should have fancied that we were still and motionless.

But I knew that we were advancing at a very rapid rate.

About twelve o'clock in the day, vast collections of seaweed were discovered surrounding us on all sides. I was aware of the extraordinary vegetative power of these plants, which have been known to creep along the bottom of the great ocean, and stop the advance of large ships. But never were seaweeds ever seen, so gigantic and wonderful as those of the Central Sea. I could well imagine how, seen at a distance, tossing and heaving on the summit of the billows, the long lines of algae have been taken for living things, and thus have been fertile sources of the belief in sea serpents.

Our raft swept past great specimens of fucus or seawrack, from three to four thousand feet in length, immense, incredibly long, looking like snakes that stretched out far beyond our horizon. It afforded me great amusement to gaze on their variegated ribbon-like endless lengths. Hour after hour passed without our coming to the termination of these floating weeds. If my astonishment increased, my patience was well-nigh exhausted.

What natural force could possibly have produced such abnormal and extraordinary plants? What must have been the aspect of the globe, during the first centuries of its formation, when under the combined action of heat and humidity, the vegetable kingdom occupied its vast surface to the exclusion of everything else?

These were considerations of never-ending interest for the geologist and the philosopher.

All this while we were advancing on our journey; and at length night came; but as I had remarked the evening before, the luminous state of the atmosphere was in nothing diminished. Whatever was the cause, it was a phenomenon upon the duration of which we could calculate with certainty.

As soon as our supper had been disposed of, and some little speculative conversation indulged in, I stretched myself at the foot of the mast, and presently went to sleep.

Hans remained motionless at the tiller, allowing the raft to rise and fall on the waves. The wind being aft, and the sail square, all he had to do was to keep his oar in the centre.

Ever since we had taken our departure from the newly named Port Gretchen, my worthy uncle had directed me to keep a regular log of our day's navigation, with instructions to put down even the most minute particulars, every interesting and curious phenomenon, the direction of the wind, our rate of sailing, the distance we went; in a word, every incident of our extraordinary voyage.

From our log, therefore, I tell the story of our voyage on the Central Sea.

Friday, August 14th. A steady breeze from the northwest. Raft progressing with extreme rapidity, and going perfectly straight. Coast still dimly visible about thirty leagues to leeward. Nothing to be seen beyond the horizon in front. The extraordinary intensity of the light neither increases nor diminishes. It is singularly stationary. The weather remarkably fine; that is to say, the clouds have ascended very high, and are light and fleecy, and surrounded by an atmosphere resembling silver in fusion.

Thermometer, +32 degrees centigrade.

About twelve o'clock in the day our guide Hans having prepared and baited a hook, cast his line into the subterranean waters. The bait he used was a small piece of meat, by means of which he concealed his hook. Anxious as I was, I was for a long time doomed to disappointment. Were these waters supplied with fish or not? That was the important question. No—was my decided answer. Then there came a sudden and rather hard tug. Hans coolly drew it in, and with it a fish, which struggled violently to escape.

"A fish!" cried my uncle.

"It is a sturgeon!" I cried, "certainly a small sturgeon."

The Professor examined the fish carefully, noting every characteristic; and he did not coincide in my opinion. The fish had a flat head, round body, and the lower extremities covered with bony scales; its mouth was wholly without teeth, the pectoral fins, which were highly developed, sprouted direct from the body, which properly speaking had no tail. The animal certainly belonged to the order in which naturalists class the sturgeon, but it differed from that fish in many essential particulars.

My uncle, after all, was not mistaken. After a long and patient examination, he said:

"This fish, my dear boy, belongs to a family which has been extinct for ages, and of which no trace has ever been found on earth, except fossil remains in the Devonian strata."

"You do not mean to say," I cried, "that we have captured a live specimen of a fish belonging to the primitive stock that existed before the deluge?"

"We have," said the Professor, who all this time was continuing his observations, "and you may see by careful examination that these fossil fish have no identity with existing species. To hold in one's hand, therefore, a living specimen of the order, is enough to make a naturalist happy for life."

"But," cried I, "to what family does it belong?"

"To the order of Ganoides—an order of fish having angular scales, covered with bright enamel—forming one of the family of the Cephalaspides, of the genus—"

"Well, sir," I remarked, as I noticed my uncle hesitated to conclude.

"To the genus Pterychtis—yes, I am certain of it. Still, though I am confident of the correctness of my surmise, this fish offers to our notice a remarkable peculiarity, never known to exist in any other fish but those which are the natives of subterranean waters, wells, lakes, in caverns, and suchlike hidden pools."

"And what may that be?"

"It is blind."

"Blind!" I cried, much surprised.

"Not only blind," continued the Professor, "but absolutely without organs of sight."

I now examined our discovery for myself. It was singular, to be sure, but it was really a fact. This, however, might be a solitary instance, I suggested. The hook was baited again and once more thrown into the water. This subterranean ocean must have been tolerably well supplied with fish, for in two hours we took a large number of Pterychtis, as well as other fish belonging to another supposed extinct family—the Dipterides (a genus of fish, furnished with two fins only, whence the name), though my uncle could not class it exactly. All, without exception, however, were blind. This unexpected capture enabled us to renew our stock of provisions in a very satisfactory way.

We were now convinced that this subterranean sea contained only fish known to us as fossil specimens—and fish and reptiles alike were all the more perfect the farther back they dated their origin.

We began to hope that we should find some of those saurians which science has succeeded in reconstructing from bits of bone or cartilage.

I took up the telescope and carefully examined the horizon—looked over the whole sea; it was utterly and entirely deserted. Doubtless we were still too near the coast.

After an examination of the ocean, I looked upward, towards the strange and mysterious sky. Why should not one of the birds reconstructed by the immortal Cuvier flap his stupendous wings aloft in the dull strata of subterranean air? It would, of course, find quite sufficient food from the fish in the sea. I gazed for some time upon the void above. It was as silent and as deserted as the shores we had but lately left.

Nevertheless, though I could neither see nor discover anything, my imagination carried me away into wild hypotheses. I was in a kind of waking dream. I thought I saw on the surface of the water those enormous antediluvian turtles as big as floating islands. Upon those dull and somber shores passed a spectral row of the mammifers of early days, the great Liptotherium found in the cavernous hollow of the Brazilian hills, the Mesicotherium, a native of the glacial regions of Siberia.

Farther on, the pachydermatous Lophrodon, that gigantic tapir, which concealed itself behind rocks, ready to do battle for its prey with the Anoplotherium, a singular animal partaking of the nature of the rhinoceros, the horse, the hippopotamus and the camel.

There was the giant Mastodon, twisting and turning his horrid trunk, with which he crushed the rocks of the shore to powder, while the Megatherium—his back raised like a cat in a passion, his enormous claws stretched out, dug into the earth for food, at the same time that he awoke the sonorous echoes of the whole place with his terrible roar.

Higher up still, the first monkey ever seen on the face of the globe clambered, gamboling and playing up the granite hills. Still farther away, ran the Pterodactyl, with the winged hand, gliding or rather sailing through the dense and compressed air like a huge bat.

Above all, near the leaden granitic sky, were immense birds, more powerful than the cassowary and the ostrich, which spread their mighty wings and fluttered against the huge stone vault of the inland sea.

I thought, such was the effect of my imagination, that I saw this whole tribe of antediluvian creatures. I carried myself back to far ages, long before man existed—when, in fact, the earth was in too imperfect a state for him to live upon it.

My dream was of countless ages before the existence of man. The mammifers first disappeared, then the mighty birds, then the reptiles of the secondary period, presently the fish, the crustacea, the mollusks, and finally the vertebrata. The zoophytes of the period of transition in their turn sank into annihilation.

The whole panorama of the world's life before the historic period, seemed to be born over again, and mine was the only human heart that beat in this unpeopled world! There were no more seasons; there were no more climates; the natural heat of the world increased unceasingly, and neutralized that of the great radiant Sun.

Vegetation was exaggerated in an extraordinary manner. I passed like a shadow in the midst of brushwood as lofty as the giant trees of California, and trod underfoot the moist and humid soil, reeking with a rank and varied vegetation.

I leaned against the huge column-like trunks of giant trees, to which those of Canada were as ferns. Whole ages passed, hundreds upon hundreds of years were concentrated into a single day.

Next, unrolled before me like a panorama, came the great and wondrous series of terrestrial transformations. Plants disappeared; the granitic rocks lost all trace of solidity; the liquid state was suddenly substituted for that which had before existed. This was caused by intense heat acting on the organic matter of the earth. The waters flowed over the whole surface of the globe; they boiled; they were volatilized, or turned into vapor; a kind of steam cloud wrapped the whole earth, the globe itself becoming at last nothing but one huge sphere of gas, indescribable in color, between white heat and red, as big and as brilliant as the sun.

In the very centre of this prodigious mass, fourteen hundred thousand times as large as our globe, I was whirled round in space, and brought into close conjunction with the planets. My body was subtilized, or rather became volatile, and commingled in a state of atomic vapor, with the prodigious clouds, which rushed forward like a mighty comet into infinite space!

What an extraordinary dream! Where would it finally take me? My feverish hand began to write down the marvelous details—details more like the imaginings of a lunatic than anything sober and real. I had during this period of hallucination forgotten everything—the Professor, the guide, and the raft on which we were floating. My mind was in a state of semioblivion.

"What is the matter, Harry?" said my uncle suddenly.

My eyes, which were wide opened like those of a somnambulist, were fixed upon him, but I did not see him, nor could I clearly make out anything around me.

"Take care, my boy," again cried my uncle, "you will fall into the sea."

As he uttered these words, I felt myself seized on the other side by the firm hand of our devoted guide. Had it not been for the presence of mind of Hans, I must infallibly have fallen into the waves and been drowned.

"Have you gone mad?" cried my uncle, shaking me on the other side.

"What—what is the matter?" I said at last, coming to myself.

"Are you ill, Henry?" continued the Professor in an anxious tone.

"No—no; but I have had an extraordinary dream. It, however, has passed away. All now seems well," I added, looking around me with strangely puzzled eyes.

"All right," said my uncle; "a beautiful breeze, a splendid sea. We are going along at a rapid rate, and if I am not out in my calculations we shall soon see land. I shall not be sorry to exchange the narrow limits of our raft for the mysterious strand of the subterranean ocean."

As my uncle uttered these words, I rose and carefully scanned the horizon. But the line of water was still confounded with the lowering clouds that hung aloft, and in the distance appeared to touch the edge of the water.

#A Journey to the Centre of the Earth

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