#live the life

[amrsquared]

Who am I? I ask myself that too.

My name is Amber. I'm 5 days into being 30 and turning 30 is why I am here. The milestone birthday I have dreaded for so long ,has left me feeling the need to reflect on the past and to take a journey of self discovery as I enter this new decade of life. And hopefully learn something useful along the way. Plus I've got some interesting experiences that at least call for a good story.

I'm the mommy of the most amazing two year old little boy. He's legitimately my miracle baby so nothing can ever mean more to me than him. His daddy and I are so lucky and proud to have him. I go to school online full time for business management. I am the Green Bay Packers biggest fan and have been my whole life. I'm not from up there (my family is), I was born and raised in the Southwest US. My hobbies would probably be considered thrift shopping and some reading and writing a here and there. I love Greys Anatomy. And I've bowled a 300 before.

Once I get to writing, it will be relevant to include that I am an alcoholic. In June Ill have 5 years sober. I also have been diagnosed as schizoaffective bipolar type one. I am a domestic violence and suicide survivor.

In my 30 years of life, I feel I have had a lot of experiences that others would never have. Of course that is true almost universally but, I would like to share with transparency and as an outlet and the hopes of something resonating with someone. To maybe have a lesson I've learned that someone needs to hear. For someone to maybe have a feeling of not being alone in tough situations...Not to mention my age anxiety related need for reflection and discovery.

While this won't be easy to do and there is so much ground to cover, here's to unleashing the past and be engaged and mindful the present. Its time to discover who I am beyond what can be told.

#about myself #introduction #follow me #personal #live the life #likeforlikes #quote of the day #new to tumblr #my writing #pic of the day #reflection #discovery #omg

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Live the Life :: from my flickr files

* * * 

“He was the solitary and lucid witness of a many-shaped world, instantaneous and almost intolerably precise. […] It was difficult for him to sleep. To sleep is to become distracted from the world.” — Jorge Luis Borges, Funes the Memorious

[alive on all channels]

#flickr #sky #live the life #my flickr files #Jorge Luis Borges #quotes #Alive On All Channels

[onlytiktoks]

#tiktok #blind #visually impaired #braille #mona lisa #inclusion #inclusivity #accessibility #disabled lives matter #disabled life #disabled #louvre #art museum #museum #louvre museum

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours? #also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that! #unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

[fantastic-nonsense]

#god: rosalynn you've lived such a long and wonderful life #what would you like me to send to your beloved husband to let him know you're being taken care of? a bird? a rainbow? a random sunbeam? #rosalynn: kill henry kissinger. he'll know I asked. :)))) #jimmy carter #rosalynn carter #henry kissinger #us politics #world politics

[selfhealingmoments]

#Social media #true #keep going #keep moving forward #don't take it personally #don't take it too seriously #living in the present #living for myself #new life #new beginnings #new me #new day #new you #reminder #life lessons #life

[blazeball]

i just rediscovered the pelican spider. give me 1-2 business days to stop laughing at how they're shaped and ill be normal again

#i have a skewed perspective on what makes a creature weird looking on account of being a bug fan #but this thing is so funny to look at its just so ridiculous #and it lives its whole life like this. that's awesome #quincy.txt #inverts

[stil-lindigo]

Bisan is calling for another global strike!

I saw some posts just outlining Jan 21st, and wanted to clarify that Bisan has called for a full seven days of action.

What a global strike would look like is:

calling in sick to work

purchasing bare essentials ahead of the week so you can observe the general boycott of goods / buying as little as you genuinely can

putting in a concerted effort to elevate Palestinian voices and make it clear that this strike is in support of a permanent ceasefire!

For those who will have to purchase necessary goods during this time, please observe the brands that the BDS movement is asking us to boycott!

♢♢♢

Right now is also a good time to mention some better uses for your money during this week.

Available e-sims in Gaza are running low!!

Mirna El Helbawi and her team are working round the clock to continue to connect Palestinians as Israel does its best to cut them off from the rest of the world.

You can learn how to purchase and send e-sims here, and below you’ll find a list of what is currently needed (the areas in brackets indicate what region you should select to buy e-sims in).

--

CareforGaza is an organisation that does verifiably good work, distributing supplies directly to Palestinian families.

They have a Gofundme set up at the moment, but because of Gofundme’s poor track record regarding refusing to transfer funds to Palestinians, I’d recommend continuing to donate directly to their PayPal here.

Good luck to all of you. Don't turn away from Palestine!

#i know that for some people their first instinct will be to scoff. how can anyone just not buy things for a full week? #what about groceries? rent? #and personally. i wanna say yes. there are some things that we have to spend money on to survive. #but it is possible still to make a concerted effort in your life #to carve out seven days where you can minimise that amount of money #i know its a lot. #for some people who are living on a tight budget. i know its not possible and i dont fault you for that #but i know for a fact that so many of us would be able to take out a few daily purchases in observance of this strike #do your best #dont turn away from palestine #free palestine #palestine #from the river to the sea #call to action

[words-at-night]

#quotes #dark academia #wordsnquotes #beautiful quote #dark academism #beautiful words #dark aesthetic #quoteoftheday #book quote #spilled poem #self love #sad songs #sylvia plath #punk #poetry #live #lit #literature #life #love #moon poetry #midnight musings #moodboard #musings #music #makeup #sad notes #i have no words #spilled poetry #poetry spilled ink

[frostedpuffs]

does anyone else hate that work takes up like 90% of your life and you literally are always working and have to form plans and important things and even seeing friends or eating meals around work. it's always just work. im spending my life just being At Work. i don't have time for hobbies or for seeing friends bc it’s always Work. like two days off a week isn't even enough because my days off aren't consecutive so i just spend those days exhausted or doing errands or house chores. there is not enough Time. all the time goes to Work. WHY IS LIFE THIS WAY. humans were not meant for this

#literally so frustrating how im always at this damn job LMAO #working full time is a joke. you spend most of your life at work just to not even be able to make enough money to live #bullshiiiiiityee #text post

[destinationtoast]

My grandmother is Japanese and really likes to give gifts. Often those gifts are Japanese desserts or other food, but sometimes she just slips me cash, folded up inside a tiny, beautiful envelope. But she likes to pretend she's not giving me money, so when possible, she'll hide it somewhere that I will find later.

Today I spent the afternoon with her doing chores and tech support, and she clearly felt this warranted a significant gift in return (no matter that I enjoyed myself). But she forgot to slip something into my pocket or bag before I left, so instead she rushed outside as I was starting my car, making the old-school "roll down the window" gesture. Once I complied, she was forced to acknowledge she was handing me money, but she also tried to minimize the gesture.

The result was that she said, "Thank you, dear! I just wanted you to be able to... to buy yourself a hamburger," and then handed me a darling little envelope that turned out to contain $100. And all I could think was:

#we live in california and even here that's a lot of hamburger #do kids these days still know the old signal for #roll down the window #? #do they still use it? #it does have the advantage of being distinctive #in a way that holding down an imaginary button does not #toasty life #the value of a hamburger #memes #it's one banana michael #op #50 #100 #500 #1K #5K #10K

[miothle]

Farewell, Kakavasha.

#honkai star rail fanart #honkai star rail #hsr aventurine #hsr kakavasha #hsr fanart #my art #fanart #art #im crying so much this scene was so beautiful and yet the most heartbreaking one #as someone who has had a difficult life #seeing him choosing to keep on living is #crying sobbing throwing up #im rooting for him sm

[reasonsforhope]

Sometimes you just have one of those moments where the progress we've made as a culture get thrown into stark relief. You look at something and go "Holy shit, that would never have happened when I was a kid."

Today, I had one of those moments when I realized that the teenage boys I'm working with are just. genuinely, openly enthusiastic about going to Build-a-Bear for their outing.

These are sixteen and seventeen year old boys! They just had a whole conversation about what to name their "cute", mostly new squishmallows! They're genuinely excited that they're going to Build-a-Bear this weekend and asking other kids to pick up specific accessories for them!!

Holy shit, that never would've happened when I was 16. None of the boys would have dared to be visibly interested - and neither would most of the girls! There would have been a million gay jokes and "Haha, you're a girl" jokes and "What are you, a baby?" jokes. Teenagers weren't even supposed to care about anything back then!

Less than 15 years later, and I'm watching three 17 year old boys treat all that as not even worthy of comment.

So let's call that a reason for hope. Even when the kids aren't alright, in some ways apparently they are alright. Go Gen Z, honestly. It's so lovely to watch you guys just openly doing and saying stuff that, when I was a teen, would've been a social death sentence.

#obligatory disclaimer that this really really obviously is not universal #I do live in a major progressive city #there's definitely a level of a liberal bubble effect here #but it's still really powerful to see it #because even in a major liberal enclave there were so many limits on the gender roles and homophobia etc. etc. fronts #and also the limits of the oppressive weight of obligatory teen apathy lol #seriously go gen z. so glad you guys decided cringe is dead. I love you for that so much #and I love it for you #not news #life #hope #homophobia #sexism #teens #teenagers #progress #gen z #btw if it wasn't clear I'm a #millennial #plush toy #plushie #squishmallows #build a bear #stuffed animal #like the idea of almost any teenager much less teenage boys #saying IN FRONT OF THEIR PEERS #that they are excited about their STUFFED ANIMALS #when I was a teenager #????? #cannot imagine that ever happening.

[cryptixotic]

Be real with me. You're sitting in a bar and a 𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔩𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔬𝔣 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔰𝔢𝔞 with a massive sword rams into the door. Do you or do you not laugh

#one piece #dracule mihawk #one piece live action #i wasn't planning on posting this but a good old shitpost is always enjoyable in a while #can you believe i've been writing with a fountain pen my whole life yet i am the most mediocre calligrapher to bless this earth ?

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

woke up and someone spilled vanilla extract all over my dash, so as punishment you strange little beasties are getting all the VANILLA FACTS i know:

vanilla is the 2nd most expensive spice in the world (2nd to saffron)

which is why more than 99% of what we call "vanilla extract" is actually vanillin (vanilla's dominant flavor compound) and is not extracted from real vanilla.

luckily, even professionals struggle to tell the difference when it comes to things like baked goods. but there is a distinct difference in non-heat treated products like vanilla ice cream. real vanilla has a more complex, individualized flavor profile.

why is vanilla so expensive? because it is a ridiculously delicate & demanding crop. complete primadonna.

vanilla beans come from vanilla orchids. these crazy flowers bloom for A SINGLE DAY and have to be HAND-POLLINATED in a process that is exhausting, delicate, and requires specialist knowledge passed down over generations.

then, if you're lucky, you get vanilla beans.

which then require months of further specialized treatment.

the entire process takes about a year and can go wrong at any stage

vanilla has been cultivated for over 800 years (possibly much longer). the first known cultivators are the Totonac, an indigenous people of Mexico.

the Aztecs used it as a sweetener to balance out the bitter taste of cocoa. it was popular in a drink called xocolatl--the precursor to modern hot chocolate!

it is only pollinated by a very specific orchid bee!!!

which is why no fruit could be grown outside of Mexico until the 1800s

Edmond Albius, born into slavery, invented the pollination method we still use today--launching a global industry when he was just 12 years old.

today, the majority of the world's vanilla is grown in Madagascar

if you want real vanilla, read the labels carefully--it's harder to find than you think!

in conclusion, those tiny black specks you see in fancy vanilla ice cream? those are vanilla bean seeds! itty bitty orchid seeds!!! they are delicious and also a PRISSY BITCH!

(src)

#Vanilla Extract #i open the tumblr app and immediately my nostrils are invaded by the overwhelming stench of vanilla #also if you want real vanilla extract at a discount: check out stores like HomeGoods TJMaxx Marshalls etc #the foodstuffs section tends to have fancy nonperishables for much cheaper than upscale grocery stores #you can get things like saffron truffles fancy oils at surprising prices #still expensive but like. 50% cheaper #or just shoplift if that's your thing i won't tell you how to live your life #did i just spend an hour writing this? yes. why did i do that? i don't KNOW

[gastrophobia]

Friendly reminder!

#draw a dog tuesday #tumblr live #life hacks #illustration #tips and tricks #living the good life #public service announcement #helpful doggos