reading heartstopper makes me both happy and sad
Happy because duh it's heartstopper how could that make me not happy??? Have you read it??? It's perfect, everyone should read heartstopper
Sad because i never had what Nick and Charlie or any of the other characters had, i also didn’t go to partys, i barely did any of those "typical teenage things" i went to school, got good grades, came home, lost myself in fandoms (which i don't regret) and wished to be someone else, now i'm in my 20s and still have no sense of self
Like in the beginning of solitaire Michael asks Tori who she is and she says nothing and i relate to that so deeply which is lowkey embarrassing cause she's 16...idk i guess i just hoped to at least act like a mentally ill person in their early 20s by now and not a 16 year old mentally ill person
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Jethro Tull, Living In The Past, 1972
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a part of me is stuck in the past
and most days, it's all of me
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Forgive me for wanting things to go back to the way they were before. I just don't know how to live in the present.
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why does it feel like i’m the only one sad about growing up. what makes me stagnate in the past while others live so fully in the present. why am i the only one who cries about my sisters new last name, what makes me feel like my life is on pause until my best friend comes home for the summer, why does my throat hurt thinking about how my room will one day be reserved for guests, what makes me long to return to my first summer job, why do i still miss the boy i loved at 16, what has me yearning for the chaotic nights in my grandmas backyard i’ll never get back, why must my heart ache while putting 2 less forks on the dinner table, what makes me so different from the others, why can they move on so easily while i am trapped living in the fantasy my mind calls the past
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Well When You Look At It That Way I Was Put Here To Change The Youth Of This Generation😂
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Then she realized that she was still in her own past!
"Incarnations of Immortality: Being a Green Mother" - Piers Anthony
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what a strange thing it is to have your heart in one place and your body in another
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i feel like i'm living in the past because everyone has moved on with their lives and i'm still just..here, stuck from the fear of change that keeps me chained
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It doesn't matter what they think of you. All that matters is what you think about yourself.
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i am stuck in the past
a past that doesn't last
for everyone but myself
everybody puts it on a shelf
of memories long forgotten
they think it's rotten
but i keep on living there
i don't even know exactly where
but I hold onto it
desperately
until i get hit
by the truth inatvertently
that that time will never come back
there's just too much that i lack
no matter how much i hope
but still i keep on clinging onto that rope
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"If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present"
Laozi, also romanized as Lao Tzu and various other ways, was a semi-legendary ancient Chinese Taoist philosopher, credited with writing the Tao Te Ching. Laozi is a Chinese honorific, generally translated as "the Old Master".
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