I am struggling to exist
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I did a big thing today. Exhausting, but necessary.
...I took care of myself. I showered. I did laundry. Just basic human necessities. and yet, a big accomplishment.
Isn't it weird, when you illnesses force you to the point that it takes conscious effort to do normal things like eating and caring for yourself?
Anyway, I did it. I'm proud. Even if to everyone else it's nothing, to me it means a lot.
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The urge to die is so strong I can hardly breathe.
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@lammydraws Come get your soup! Lol
I wanted to write something about Aym and Baal and came up with this. Just a little fic about them reuniting after the Lamb revives them. Hope you guys enjoy! Feedback appreciated as always.
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i find it funny when parents say what did we do to you? why are you like this? HUH. do you wanna know why? it's because you weren't there for me, ever , you didn't even know that you hurt me, you didn't know that your girl has been crying all night because you yelled at her, hit her, you traumatized her for life, gave her wounds she would have to die to heal them. what did you do to me? well... I am this me because of you. All the yelling hitting you did in the name of love ruined me inside, made me alone, made me think I am okay on my own. you hurt me in the roots and being normal? normal like laughing, wanting to live, socializing, eating well all this seems unnatural to me...because i am used to half meals, hurting eyes, fake smiles, fake words. questioning my existence. At least , please, let me have a little relief by blaming you. I wish, for once you asked me how exactly i feel inside, what i want to say.
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"I imagine death so much it feels like a memory..."
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tricks for when you're hungry and the damn electric stove is soo slow
cut the veggies smaller, so they cook through quicker
use only just enough water, so it boils quicker
actually, just pre-boil the water in the kettle
curse the invention of electrical stoves yes i get gas stoves are more fire-prone and less eco-friendly shut up
wish you had an induction stove
check the food again
decide you quite like barely al-dente foods
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I'm happy I finally can draw something so very personal. Even tho these illustrations that takes weeks to finish barely get response and likes, drawing is very entertaining again. Every day I'm grateful these people, this game and such a sweet character appeared in my life in such a good timing,in such a bad time.
Every time I think that this idiot used brujah's primogen favour to get a pretty raspberry bouquet for Glinda, I'm happy that he is who he is
>crying noises<
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Ugh i wanna vent but I'm not that type of person...
Jk I'm totally that person
I hate myself and I know I'll never be good enough for me or anyone else because I'm just an awful person in every way.
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I'm so tired that I don't seem like it. I've got so good at hiding and masking that even I can't see those emotions. All I want is to go to sleep. Rest my head on someone's lap and being put to sleep while they run their fingers through my hair. And just hum. I hear nothing but a rhythm that puts me at ease. It doesn't make things better but atleast I go to sleep. I forget. I don't exist for sometime. It's not better but I don't exist at that moment either.
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Constantly at war with myself
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reblog if sometimes u js forget to breathe
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My good days make me wonder if it’s all in my head.
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i’ve only assembled 1/5th of my bed and i already want to go to sleep on the floor
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It has come to my attention the i am being perceived. This is truly disturbing for i was not aware i chose to exist today
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