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didderd · 5 months

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i had a sleep paralysis nightmare this morning.

so i decided to make content out of it 👍

but really, sometimes if i'm not feeling well, i daydream about one of the characters i simp really like helping/comforting me.

n this time i started daydreaming about Nightmare comforting me. bc this was the worst sleep paralysis i ever had, and it left me feeling on edge for a bit after waking up. (i don't usually get nightmare-ish sleep paralysis)

n so i decided to make it into a little Nightmare x reader drabble where reader has a sleep paralysis nightmare, based on the one i had this morning.

this goes from horror to fluff real quick lmao. hope yall like it! :>

if you want to skip the sleep paralysis, go straight to the pink sentence!

(tw: sleep paralysis. sleep paralysis demon.)

_________

You're laying in bed, with half of your vision blocked by the hood of your jacket. All you can see is your bed.

You go to lift your hood.

But you can't move.

But you feel your arms move.

You feel yourself move to grab your hood. As heavy as it may feel, you're sure you did it.

But your hood is still there.

You don't see your hand.

Panic wells up in your stomach. You can't move. You can't see.

Gathering the little strength you have in your groggy state, you try to push yourself into a sitting position.

Again, you feel yourself scoot up the wall behind you.

But you don't see anything change.

Your vision feels frozen.

Closing your eyes, you try again to push your hood up.

When you open them, you can see your hand grabbing your hood.

But your hood is still there. and your hand is frozen in place. even though you feel it at your side again.

It's like your vision is broken.

But closing your eyes helped?

You close your eyes, and attempt to push yourself up again.

Opening your eyes, you think you're sitting up now. at least a little bit.

You close your eyes again and attempt once more to push your hood off your head.

It's off your head. You feel it on your neck.

When you open your eyes, you're laying down and your hood is blocking half your vision.

You try again.

You're sitting up. You can see your room.

You can see your window.

Something passes by your window. A shadowy figure. It looked humanoid, but were those antlers?

You're scared.

It happens again.

Your mother is in the room now. You're trying to ask for help, but she seems confused, and you can't get the words out.

She's standing near the window. Not too close, but you're scared.

Something. someone. appears at the window. but not outside it. They're inside.

Their eyes are wide, and they have an unsettling smile. Something about them seems deeply wrong.

You try to scream, and point at them to alert your mother.

Nothing but air comes out.

When your mother turns around, she only seems more confused. She doesn't see them.

Are you hallucinating?

You see something else in the corner of your eye. A dark figure.

You turn your head to look at it.

... Nightmare?

It's Nightmare. He's standing at the foot of your bed. Looking at you with a calm, yet concerned expression.

You remember you'd been living in his castle for a while now. This is your room in the castle... So why is your mother here?

Looking back, your mother and the unsettling person is gone.

Everything seems clearer. You feel like you can move better.

You look back at Nightmare as he walks closer. "Nightmare?" You spoke. You can speak again.

He stops next to you and places a hand on your head, comfortingly petting your hair. "You are safe. It is only sleep paralysis." His tone is soft, made to comfort you, and it works. You feel some of the fear melt away. You feel protected.

"Sleep paralysis?" You remember what it is, and it makes sense, but you ask anyways.

"Yes." He leans down and places the hand not petting your hair on your chest, just below your collar bones. "You should wake up now."

Everything fades out.

And you open your eyes.

Nightmare is sitting in a chair next to your bed, with a hand on your forehead. He'd pushed the hood off your eyes while you were asleep.

He opens his eye a second after you, and smiles warmly. "There you are."

You blink up at him, but immediately decide not to do that again, as the fear of falling back in runs through you. Instead, you decide to sit up, and Nightmare retreats his hand as you do, looking slightly more concerned, as he likely noticed your fear.

He places the same hand on your back to rub soothingly, and leans a bit closer, using the other to gently guide your chin to look at him. "Don't worry. You are safe.. I'm here." His words are firm, but so gentle.

Your face is warm at how intimate his hand on your chin feels, and his very smooth and handsome voice in your ears, yet it also helps so much to relax you and make you feel safe.

Half to distract from the warmth in your face, even though he's definitely noticed, judging by how his expression turns more smug than concerned, and half out of genuine curiosity, you finally speak. "Um... was that- was that really you in my dream?"

It seems to work to distract him as he answers. Moving his hand from your chin to tuck some hair out of your face as he does so.

"Darling, that wasn't a dream, that was a nightmare." His expression regains a bit of concern for a moment as he pauses, but it's gone before he speaks again. "But yes, that was me. I'd felt your fear as I was passing by your room, and when I came in, I saw that you were having a nightmare, so I decided to lend my aid." His hand had moved from your hair once he was done righting it, and is now resting on the bed, next to your thigh.

"I'm sure you know of my ability to enter and control dreams and nightmares. Sleep paralysis is no different. I was happy to help you out of yours, little shadow." His smile is fond as he raises his hand once more to cup your cheek, and rub his thumb over it, leaning a little closer as he does.

Your cheeks feel warm again, at how close he is, and how gentle his hand is on your cheek. You can't help the urge to lean into his touch, and so you don't even try to fight it, placing your hand over his as you lean into it.

Even though you know you weren't in any real danger, you still feel like he saved you. You're grateful to him. You're not sure how to repay him, but you do know what you so badly want to do in this moment.

Placing your free hand over his collar bone and lightly grip at his sweater, you lean a bit closer to his face, and look down at his mouth. but you stop there and look to the side.

You retreat that bit you'd just leaned in, your face feeling much warmer now. You don't know what you're doing. Maybe your lack of good sleep gave you too much confidence. As if The Guardian of Negativity would want to kiss you. What were you thinkin-

Nightmare chuckles. You look back at him with widened eyes.

His smug expression is mixed with that of fondness... You sometimes forget that he can basically read your mind... Fuck.

You look away again. Your face feels like it's burning.

But you quickly look back when he gets much. much closer. His hand moving from your cheek to the side of your neck, and brushing into the hair on the back of your head, while his other hand slides down your back to the lower half.

He chuckles again, no doubt at how red your face is, and your shocked expression. "Darling, if you thought I wouldn't want to kiss you just as bad as you want to kiss me right now, you'd be sorely mistaken.~" He just about purrs, inches from your mouth.

The hairs on your neck and arms stand as he speaks, and both your hands ball into his sweater over his chest. You didn't think you could get warmer, but you do.

His cheeks are looking a little flushed too as the lid over his socket lowers, and he looks down at your lips, before slowly, and gently closing the gap.

It's a very tender and loving kiss. Not what you were expecting coming from him, but it's amazing.

You lean into it the moment the shock melts away. You feel like you're melting in his arms.

After another long, blissful moment, he pulls away, before picking you up to move you over and make room for him on your bed, and climbs in next to you.

Once he's laid down, he pulls you close again, and combs through your hair, nuzzling your face, before sighing into your cheek, and then kissing it. "You make me soft..."

You're so full of warm feelings right now, it's almost overwhelming, and you hope it's not overwhelming for him. It's all so hard to believe, but seems so genuine. More genuine than you'd ever seen Nightmare. To think he'd let his guard down so much with you.

You almost let out a giddy giggle as you bury your warm face in his sweater, just under his chin, and he wraps his arm tighter around you, using one of his tentacles to pull your blanket over both of you.

As you lay comfortable and warm in his arms, feeling his chest rise and fall against you with his breath, you start to feel yourself falling back to sleep. You forget you even had that nightmare before all this.

The last thing you hear and feel before you're asleep again is Nightmare placing a kiss on the top of your head and speaking, almost in a whisper.

"Goodnight, little shadow."

#had to hold myself back from turning this suggestive lmao #wanted it to jus b fluff so ppl who don't like suggestive can enjoy it to :>#nightmare feels a bit out of character here #but that could just be bc out of context. him being super soft to someone seems vry out of character lmao #reader makes him feel soft and mushy inside #n he's finally letting that out wif cuddles :3 #i thought abt making it rice bc this feels more in character for him #but yall barley know rice lmao if at all #don't even have his design out. so ye #nightmare x reader #i rly like the 'little shadow' nickname for nightmare's reader -v-)#nightmare sans #dreamtale #undertale #undertale au #sleep paralysis #didderd writes #the person in the nightmare with the unsettling smile actually looked kinda like chucky the doll but with like. an adults body #i was gonna kinda describe that. but this felt like it kept the pacing better :p

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sunsetzer · 1 month

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On one hand, I want a final fantasy 6 remake, because the game is criminally underrated and the amount of fan content (which is all absolutely fantastic btw) is Not Enough for my neurodivergent, hyperfixating brain.

On the other hand, that would inevitably encourage more people to join the fandom, which would be great, except it seems these days the bigger a fandom gets the more toxic it becomes, and I really like what we have going on over here in our little corner. We all just love the game and its characters and nobody fights about who should and shouldn't date who or who you shouldn't like because they're ~problematique~. Nobody's trying to make one ship morally better than another, nobody's calling anyone names or threatening to doxx people who don't agree with their opinions. It's so peaceful and I love that for us. We're just vibing. Moisturized. Unbothered. In our lane. Flourishing.

#as someone who was in an extremely toxic and chaotic fandom and lowkey still traumatized #to the point where I'm afraid to mention which fandom it was/what my ship was #i have to say #i genuinely love it here #i was nervous at first sharing my ships and headcanons but everyone is so chill i was worried for nothing #thank you to everyone I've interacted with who has made this fandom a healing experience for me #i shudder to think about what some of the people i interacted with in a previous fandom would do with ff6 #probably would take edgar's flirting at face value and call him problematic for objectifying women #instead of considering the narrative and what we know about him and the way he actually treats women #my man drinks loving and respecting women juice he's not a creep #or that weird moment with relm that admittedly made me double take before i realized what he meant #theyd have a whole campaign against him lmfao #bc those people boil characters alive until they're just a formless pile of tropes and stereotypes #and seem to disregard all positive aspects of a character they don't like which is fine #but then they go and try to force other people to think like they do and ugh #theres a lot of silly moments in the game and aspects of these characters that make them well rounded and realistically flawed at times #and i fear that would get lost in the chaos if the floodgates opened after a remake #maybe im just jaded lmao #im jaded and i have anxiety so im always thinking about The Worst Case Scenario #the collective positive spirit of the dwellers in this fandom might actually foster a positive space if more people were to come in #ff6 #my post #i was gonna say maybe this is bc we're mostly adults #but that falls flat when i remember how some of the most toxic and immature people in some fandoms are grown ass adults #who bully each other and younger fans #and some of the most mature and cool people were actually younger #maybe ff6 fans are just built different lmao #also idk how old anyone else actually is there might be teenagers here i just don't think about it a lot

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autisticaradiamegido · 3 months

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day 26

someday if i can figure out how the hell people get these things made i would like to do some little destiny & malice acrylic charms. i think those are so fun. and while i mostly want them for Myself i figure that if i DID figure out the process, i should maybe open up the option to anyone else that might want them, soooo...

informal poll: if i figure out how all that works, would any of y'all be into that, and approximately how many of you?

#day 26 #year 5 #my ocs #destiny chainsaw #malice winterfang #i know i've said i don't really like the idea of commissions and this isnt like a PROMISE or anything #i still have a lot of research to do before i commit to a shop of any kind #BUT. i think like a redbubble or something in that vein might be a manageable project #i mention stickers specifically because that seems like a very manageable thing to produce and ship even if i didnt go through like #a service to do so #particularly because i dont think id get a TON of orders for my niche OCs lol #but if i got some practice with something small like this it MIIIIGHT help me build up to making things for a larger market like...#say... well you know what i'm about over here lmao #we've basically all but gotten the official blessings of the powers that be to make homestuck merch without fear of reprisal at this point #ANYWAY that would be a ways off and be a much MUCH bigger project both artistically and in terms of like #me learning how Online Commerce works from the seller end.#BUT I HAVE BEEN CONSIDERING IT. and it seems to me that it would at least be relatively simple to sell like. prints of old art maybe #i dunno! like i said i'll see how the poll shakes out while i do a bit more research

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vaguely-concerned · 5 months

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I just finished padawan by kiersten white and had a blast with it -- it was exactly the kind of thing my brain craved this week, just some nice character study and adventure story stuff for my brain to chill in. thoughts:

a) I love obi-wan and his poor anxiety-ridden teenage self so so much. peak a delight to have in class to the point of nervous break representation, someone help him. local boy manages to become parentified child to an absent father somehow. that part where he's so afraid he's so bad and useless that the force itself might just decide it doesn't want him after all........ heartbreaking. that's exactly what I would have thought at sixteen too probably. (also my personal headcanon has always been that obi-wan is on the ace spectrum, so that was a very nice thing to find supported in this book! canon is vast and can support any number of stances that way honestly everyone should go hog wild with it in whatever manner they please, but that's always been my vibe)

b) qui-gon fucking jinn if you don't step up and do something to help the child in your charge with his ACTUAL DEBILITATING ANXIETY DISORDER RUNNING HIM RAGGED other than ask him to meditate so help me I will come over there and do maul's work for him ahead of time I swear to fucking god

c) no, really, it says some not very good things about qui-gon's mentorship abilities that obi-wan really only manages to grow and be calmer when he's outside of his influence. I know this book means you to come away with the feeling that obi-wan takes a big step towards enlightenment and adulthood on this trip (and I do think that's also true to be clear!), but there is a part of me that also thinks that just as much as personal and spiritual development what we're seeing here is an avoidant attachment style definitively entrenching itself as a result of having no adult that can be consistently trusted to meet him emotionally. (which also makes a horrible kind of sense, thinking about what obi-wan and anakin's relationship is going to be like in the future -- obi-wan is avoidant and self-contained when it comes to trying to deal with his emotions, and anakin skews far more anxious and towards lashing out, and they never quite understand each other for all the love that is there. you can trace that all the way back here. sins of the master, huh.) obi-wan finds some agency and catharsis in being able to help a group of abandoned children, you say. hm. I'm sure this means nothing and has no parallels in his own inner world. you let the kid think you'd completely abandoned him instead of communicating with him openly for like five minutes. For His Own Good of course. Wow I didn't realize I was this angry about this but here I am once again livid on obi-wan's behalf, actually. 'I'm an incredible teacher and this lack of honest emotional communication I'm fostering in favour of (benign!) manipulation is never going to come back and bite the jedi order in the ass, surely'; the qui-gon jinn story

#as someone who has been asked to meditate to cure mental illness since I was like twelve: obi-wan should be allowed to kill. murder even #star wars #padawan 2022 #obi wan kenobi #I may of course be doing some projecting here but knowing how it turns out..... I don't think I'm entirely off base either #I uh. I wonder a little bit at how the jedi actually approach mental health in general because obi wan is A Mess in this #and no one fuckign seems to notice or care b/c he's obsessive about not making it anyone else's problem lmao #he's been allowed to develop crippling eldest daughter syndrome among a bunch of enlightened force sensitives #there is so clearly a lot of warmth and wonderful things in the jedi temple don't get me wrong at all! but uh.#they've clearly got some weak spots that will also be there by the time it's anakin's turn with the generational trauma lol #star wars meta

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difeisheng · 7 months

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Do you know how the ship name liansanjiao came to be? The "lian" part I understand but not the rest and I don't know any chinese.

Hi! so Liansanjiao (莲三角) was actually a thing I originally came up with just for my own blog tagging/organizing system 😅 My fandom before Mysterious Lotus Casebook was DMBJ/The Lost Tomb, and the main three protagonists there are referred to as the Tiesanjiao (铁三角), 'tie' meaning 'iron' and 'sanjiao' meaning 'triangle', so Iron Triangle. I took that naming convention and just called the trio from MLC the Lotus Triangle, which is Liansanjiao. It caught on among some of my mutuals though, and then possibly some people outside of that circle adopted it as well? I'm not too sure lmao. But yeah that was just me being silly and wanting a little inside joke for myself in my tags :) hope this helps!

(For what it's worth, I believe Chinese fandom calls the trio Lianhua Sanxia (莲花三侠), or The Three Lotus Heroes. Some people also just say Difanghua although I believe it might depend on whether or not someone is referring to the relationship as romantic or platonic. I use Liansanjiao interchangeably to refer to the three of them in any context)

#feihua as a ship name for li lianhua/di feisheng was. also my doing 🫣#i just started calling them that for the homophone pun because feihua also sounds like 'nonsense' in chinese #but that one seems to have caught on broadly across the fandom here even more than liansanjiao #outside of tumblr people call them dihua #i still don't know why y'all listened to me guys lmao but it's very sweet #mysterious lotus casebook #liansanjiao #ashton answers #hello-casualbouquetcycle

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villainanders · 1 year

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what ages do you guys truth for the companions btw (idk which ones have canon ages i forgor <3) sound off in the tags or replies or w/e

#4 ME.... i think like 20 y/o ali and maybe like 25/26 year old zev and leli. im controversial i think morrigan is like 27 #and just emotionally stunted. i think wynne is late 60s early 70s and canon genuinely make a math mistake. sten and oghren are prob both #in their 40s #for da2 as of act 1 i put anders somewhere in 29-31 age range. bela at maybe 27/28. fenris around 25/26 and seb around there too.#merrill maybe 24ish and varric and aveline both in their mid-late 30s #for inq josie in her late 20s dorian at about 30 and sera at like 19/20 and cole also around there. bull maybe late 30s #solas early 40s (or so he seems..) cass like 45/46. and i know blackwall is probably on the older side of his 40s but i put him on the #younger side bc he already has an insane age gap with my trev lmao #if i forgot anyone here obviously i don't care about them and you should probably send me hate mail

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vvelegrin · 15 days

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i'm really enjoying pathologic 2, actually. i mean, i didn't think i wouldn't enjoy it as much as i was worried it would just, i don't know, muddy the water. and maybe it will, but i'm not really bothered by that anymore. that said, i do think patho 2 took a fairly unsubtle game and increased its unsubtlety by about tenfold.

well. calling og pathologic 'unsubtle' doesn't feel quite right, but i'm not sure what word would feel right. maybe it's 'distinct in its sensibilities'. I think og patho felt more obtuse, whereas patho 2 is like. here. take it. do you get it. here is the information. do you see the themes. i am announcing them to you in such a way that you know that i am saying something thematic. i'm not far enough into the main story of 2 to be able to say that there's less reading between the lines, but it feels very much so far like there's less reading between the lines. whereas the original had a somewhat different... i don't know, affect? it felt like a hostile workplace where everyone recited shakespeare about even the mundane. in patho 2 nothing feels mundane in the first place, everything feels loaded in a way that og patho was but didn't feel, if that makes sense.

but i think that's okay. at the very least, it feels very much like leaning into the 'theater' aspect of it, which is enjoyable. pathologic 2 feels to me more like... bonus content? not to be Stuck Up For Pathologic HD but i enjoyed the feeling of grinding my face against a cinderblock, having to tease out information and conclusions. it felt like a game that you had to figure out, but you actually weren't really doing any ground-level figuring out of much; you're not a doctor, your character is, so the puzzle of Solving the Plague belongs to The Story, whereas the question of What the FUCK is This Town's Deal is your job. it's a very linear game in most respects, but all three playthroughs come through as a thematic package deal.

i so far get the impression that pathologic 2 can be played on its own and be enjoyed in its own right! however it exists to me as like. director's commentary. i'm really liking the playing with different character relationships and alternate things, the expanding of steppe language and the kin, love my worm guys, but i like it because of how it enriches my eternal mind rotation of og pathologic. sorry guys i played the original pathologic and it broke me and remade me in its image. sorry.

#sorry to be the quintessential 'guy who played pathologic and now doesn't stop thinking about pathologic'#i'm having a lot of fun trying all of the different things in marble nest though #i do worry in general that the inclusion of sprinting and fast travel will really fuck up my flow #the walking feels SO much slower now so while i was content to plod along in the original i feel like there's not a middle ground #so it feels a bit contrary to it all that i'm sprinting everywhere and just chugging bottles of water and calling it good #though at the very least it does seem like it will take some of the weight off of the 'route planning' aspect of the original #which was. honestly a load bearing part of... gestures vaguely #and i understand why people don't like it! i think that's a very reasonable thing to not like #having a game on a time limit that requires you to walk slowly across the map multiple times #i don't know what brainworms it activated in me but i quite enjoy it #on paper i should not like this game but here we are #that's not true. i play a lot of Bad To Play games for the story.#but 'guy who has no sense of time' playing 'time limit: the game' is... well i'm not arguing at the results #so that's my main Thing that i 'dislike' but even that word is too strong #i don't dislike it as much as i am keenly aware that i will have to play the game differently and i Don't Like Change lmao #that said these are preliminary impressions as i'm only about 4-5ish hours into the main game #pathologic

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romansmartini · 2 months

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the thing that drives me crazy about the james baldwin post apart from the blatant racism is just the complete incuriosity. like idk i don't think you should pretend you know Everything just to keep from ever appearing ignorant because like yeah everyone has gaps in their knowledge that are a product of your family and home country and schooling system and things you were exposed to growing up and what degree path you chose. but don't you like. want to know more? when you see a quote that you like from a named author, don't you want to look that name up to see who the author is before you proudly say you don't know who they are and you don't care? why is your response "well my school never taught me that so why should i care!!!!" instead of "oh wow i've never heard of him! which work should i check out first?" are you proud of your ignorance? do you want to go through life spending your time, energy and resources defending your lack of knowledge rather than learning something new? are you not the most pretentious person in the room by proudly condemning a generation-defining black author you've never heard of and wearing your ignorance like a badge?

#jillian.txt #idk i think a lot of it is like. guilt based. people not wanting to seem like they're imperfect or something so hoping to pass the blame to #someone else for their lack of knowledge. but it's like actually just do better lmao. you're a worse person for having this attitude #and you're actively missing out on things that could enrich your life and you're also being racist.#like at the very least man. i don't know. look him up and say 'oh fuck it looks like his work was really important. i can't believe i've #never heard of this guy before! my fucking family/school/etc never taught me about him! where do i start?'#UGHHH it makes me so mad. much more i could say but i will stop here

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sydmarch · 1 year

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he cleaned your room for you....

#i was already planning on drawing exactly this w this caption then i got That dialogue post tribunal & was like ah its meant to be #had to make him all embarassed & flustered looking at being dressed up bcus you know he would be. need to dominate this man like i need air #garte enjoyers come get yall juice lmao #disco elysium #de #i. dont know what tag people use for him i don't really go in tags on here #garte the cafeteria manager #lawrence garte #my art #finished this the other day had it in my drafts for a bit & well. seems like a good time to post this LOL #garte

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stillcominback · 9 months

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𝚆𝙴𝙻𝙻, 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚅𝙴𝚁𝙳𝙸𝙲𝚃'𝚂 𝙸𝙽: as a lot of you may know by know [ if you've caught any of my previous posts about it ], i'm moving with my parents back to california from texas -- where i've been for about 30 years -- because overall? it'll be good for me. i'm sick of texas for the most part, i literally can't afford to live on my own [ and honestly? i like being near my parents and would just have more security and better quality of life in CA ], and i just think sometimes a change is good!

i've been waiting to see if my job will let me keep my job [ and continue to pay me dirt, even! ] ... all i was asking is that i can live in california and work remote. well, the owner has decided he will not allow me to do that. is there a good reason? in my opinion: no. he's framing it [ in his conservative white man rich business owner brain ] that I'M the one making the choice to move because i could apparently just as easily stay in texas and get my own place etc etc etc. so it's on me! unfortunately, it's just not that simple, but i guess from a guy who runs a family business and has multiple homes, it's just hard to really grasp that concept.

i'm literally so furious and so heartbroken at the same time. i know it's not the best company, and yeah i guess, we can say this is for the best in the end? but that doesn't make it hurt less. i've been there for almost 11 fucking years. my ENTIRE career out of college. through ups and downs, i was always working my ass off and being a great employee ... shining reviews and reputation with literally everyone. it just hurts that that ultimately means nothing when i'm finally asking for something in return. i take the poverty wages, take the working in the office when i hate it for the most part, i've taken having to hear misogynistic, homophobic, transphobic, every-phobic thing over the years ... then i ask for ONE thing in 11 years [ that's literally not even a big ask ] and it's a ✨no✨.

i feel so lost. like i don't even know how to be without this job, and as much as people tell me YOU'RE SO TALENTED! YOU'RE SO GREAT! YOU'LL FIND SOMETHING SOOOO MUCH BETTER! i wanna believe it, but my brain just ... doesn't. maybe it's imposter syndrome or just how fucking down on myself i feel right now. i still appreciate it because i literally don't know what i would do without my friends and family's support right now like ... even if i can't see it for myself, it means the literal world to me.

plus sides [ i guess ]: i should be able to keep my laptop [ but i'll lose adobe cc so ... i may need some recs or help on how to at least get photoshop cause idk how i'll carry on without it lmao ]; my manager who is a literal saint and one of the best people i know [ she actually pissed the owner off going to the mat for me lmao "he doesn't like to be questioned" ... insert the biggest eye-roll of my life ] ... but she said she would help me with literally everything from linkedin to my resume to a portfolio, and i know that'll be like everything to me while i just .... try to navigate all of this ON TOP OF trying to move.

ALSO: i think i can work until i leave, if that's what i want to do ... i'm still trying to figure all of this out because honestly? even though it's not much? i need the money. but then i'm also like i don't wanna do the owner any favors by having me work while they maybe start putting out feelers to replace me, yknow? BUT THEN AGAIN, i'm hurting my boss more than him [ and that's the twisted, frustrated thing about all of this ... it hurts us way more than it does anything to him but he still gets to make the choice for us ]. SO! i dunno! i may just use all my PTO and see how far that gets me lmao but i feel like at the end of the day, i have to look out for myself and maybe just trying to pull in as many paychecks as i can [ since we also don't have a hard 'we're moving!' date at the moment ] is the best idea ... even if the idea of going into the office and acting normal like literally makes me so ... 😤 but i dunno! my brain is a mess! afjhksdfda

SO YEAH. i just wanted to update you guys because i do consider you friends. whether we talk a little or a lot, i appreciate all of you so much and just wanted to keep folks in the loop with where my life and my head's at right now. not the best but ... just trying to keep it moving. honestly nooooo clue when writing is gonna happen here again??? i do miss / enjoy the distraction of plotting and talking about all this stuff so don't be shy, i just don't know when i'll have the time or capacity to just write here [ maybe once we move and stuff settles a little bit? ] -- but yeah, in the meantime, please come chat with me, let's plot dynamics and all that shit because it still makes me so happy and lets me take my mind on a little vacation lmao love you all, truly! ❤️

#** reblogging on some of my blogs to pass it around but! applies across the board: you can find most of my blogs in my pinned post here! **#been on and off crying since like 4PM yesterday so it's been a ride lemme tell ya!#nothing like feeling like you wasted over a decade of your life at a job that never really cared about you #like MY boss does but stupidly she doesn't get to make all the decisions for HER own team #even though the owner is barely present and doesn't really know anything about us or the day to day so ... very cool of him #to make big decisions that can hurt a lot of people (and don't affect him one bit either way)#he just really doesn't seem to give a shit at all that it makes our lives so much harder for NO reason #it's just that he literally doesn't “like” remote working and doesn't want to set some kind of company-wide precedent #even tho i'm like moving isn't THAT easy lmao people aren't all just gonna mass exodus out my guy #(also we have a C-level employee who lives / works from new york but ... apparently that's SUUUUPER different because she lived there when #she was hired ........ *stares into camera*)#anyway!!! i'm just really frustrated and hurt and fucking terrified #and i appreciate literally anyone who bothered to read all this! lmao #i'll be around on mobile as per usual ❤️❤️❤️#00. // OUT OF AMMO ( OOC POST. )

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gorespawn · 10 months

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oh right, i changed main accs like last year and transferred this side blog, but never got back into using it! so now i don't follow a single account </3 so if we used to be mutuals (or if you'd like to be!) could you please reply to this or interact somehow...? i've missed being here

#but it's so hard to what's it called... burst the bubble! like pop the surface! when you start fresh on a website like this #i made my old tumble account in 2013! and i was on here till like... early 2021? but SOOO much has changed! it's a little crazy #now i don't know how to use the website anymore lmao #the culture seems to have changed a bit (both the humour and like... idk it seems more lainback and less high stakes than it used to be?#which is nice! but i'm a little out of it haha)#.txt #anyway. please interact with this or inbox me if you'd like to be mutuals! i have a grand total of zero (0) mutuals rn. and followed blogs #and the whole what's it called! interface! like the whole website design and how it works! there are so many goddamn tabs now??#recommended posts. staff picks. for you. followed topics and tags. based on your tags... everything! so much new stuff #(old man voice) back when i was young and a tumblr user we had none of this 'functional website' bullshit #we were downright rawdogging it but we were sticking together!

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thefrogdalorian · 5 months

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Three years since The Believer aired and it feels like yesterday but also a lifetime ago? It was the episode that tipped the scales for me from "oh The Mandalorian is a cool show" to "WHO IS THIS MAN I NEED TO MAKE HIM MY ENTIRE PERSONALITY??" I was a bit late to the party anyway (Mando wasn't released until months later here) but I watched every episode as soon as they dropped. I really enjoyed them but it didn't quite transform into full-blown obsession until I watched Chapter 15.

The Believer just changed something within me... not just because finally seeing Din's face at a moment where he wasn't near to death meant I could finally appreciate how GOOD he looked (but yes, I do have eyes and they can appreciate Pedro Pascal when they see him).

It was more the fact that Din Djarin was prepared to sacrifice everything because of how deeply he loved Grogu. The character development from how he was at the beginning of the show, going from a slightly selfish solitary bounty hunter with absolute devotion to the Way, who didn't really care about anyone else, to willingly breaking his Creed for the love of a child... it's just a beautiful story. I absolutely love it when tough men actually have a heart of gold. Din is really such a caring person under all that armour. I don't know a better man, truly.

Anyway, happy three years since The Believer to all who celebrate! I don't know about anyone else, but it definitely feels as though Mando should be airing right now. I hope Season 4 airs later in the year, even if that means it's late 2025 and we have to wait a bit because having Season 3 release March-April just felt wrong somehow. It's a festive show!

Also, I miss Din so much it hurts. DIN PLEASE COME HOME THE KIDS MISS YOU!

#din djarin #the mandalorian #pedro pascal #spud rants #seriously i miss him so much it's twisted #also three years since i 'discovered' pedro lmao i don't talk about him much because truthfully his fandom sort of scares me but he's such #a talented and funny person and seeing his career flourish this year has been amazing.... good for her!#genuinely i don't know him but he just seems like a good guy and i love it when good people succeed and i only want the best for him!!#also the amount of content people make for his characters on here FLOORS me like i am solely here for din but people focusing on random #characters from kind of shitty movies and pumping out endless fics is very impressive I LOVE FANDOM

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