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rosepascal · 1 year

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Put On a Brave Face | Joel Miller x Reader

summary: Joel Miller almost loses you the same way he lost his baby girl.

warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, blood/gore, standard tlou stuff, reader gets shot, graphic descriptions, kinda softer!Joel so a little OOC

a/n: I got this idea and honestly idk if i like it that much but im posting this anyways. Also this is for the besties who would be absolute crybabies if they got shot bc that is 100% me lmao. I get a papercut and im in tears fr.

The universe must really hate Joel Miller. For all the shit it’s put him through, it just has to add more. It’s not his fault, something that you really really hope he understands. He heard the gun fire but it sounded like white noise. He didn’t feel any pain so he knew it didn’t hit him.

A blur of gun fire and the men around him are dead. Jackson was mostly a safe place but lately there’s been a gang of people who were attempting to infiltrate the commune.

They were easy work for Joel, he wasn’t thrilled that you tagged along on patrol but he trusted you and if he had to have someone he’d pick you to watch his back.

If only he paid a little more attention.

It was like a punch straight to the gut. You felt a sudden pressure as you shot at the bandits. You were too busy focusing on keeping Joel safe to notice you had been hit by a stray. When the chaos stopped is when the pain set in.

Everything feels fuzzy. Like something ain’t quite right. And everything was hot. It’s the middle of winter but it feels like your whole body’s on fucking fire. An ache starts to burn in your stomach, you set your hand on it without thinking. Only to be met with a red stained hand.

“J-Joel?” His world stops.

Panic claws at his heart as it beats louder and louder in his ears. He turns around to face you. Sweat runs down your face, a small smile on your lips as you try and stay calm for both your sakes. His eyes fall to your stomach and that's when he sees it.

One of the bullets from their gun went clean through you. The blood, there’s already so much of it.

“Joel.” You whimper as you fall to the ground. Staying upright becomes the least of your worries as it becomes harder to breathe.

You’ve lived through twenty years of this shit and yet this is the first time you have ever been shot. Those who survived always said it’s either nothing or the worst pain in the world. Joel’s been shot before.

You were there once. The bullet went into his arm and it was awful trying to get it out. He was strong as hell though. Kept his calm and walked it off a few days later.

You always admired how strong Joel was. Not just in the physical sense but he always seemed to be calm even in the worst situations. Maybe it was all a show. But right now you wished you could do the same.

You wish that you could look up at him and tell him you were okay and crack a joke but you can’t. It hurts so bad, it’s burning and pain is tearing through your whole body.

“I got you baby.” Joel falls next to you. He tosses his gun to the side and wraps you in his arms. One hand under your back to try and get you upright.

“It’s okay, it’s gonna be okay.” He wants to puke. A sob crawling its way up his throat.

“It hurts!” You cry, clawing at his shirt. Fingers digging into the soft fabric of his flannel.

“Joel!” It breaks his damn heart to hear you cry out in such pain.

“I know, fuck I know baby.” Jackson isn’t far and right now it’s your only hope.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbles as he stands you up and irritates your wound. Your scream makes him flinch. It’s raw and full of fear and so much pain.

Why couldn’t it be him? Why did it have to be you?

“Please, please I don’t want to die Joel.” The words tumble out of your mouth without thinking.

“Please please.” You bury your face into Joel's chest as he half drags and half carries you to the gates of Jackson.

“I don’t want to die!” You wail loudly and Joel tightens his grip on you. It’s pure agony. Every minor step or bump sends waves of pain through you.

“You’re okay, we’re so close, baby, just a few more steps.” Joel closes his eyes as you cry out for him.

It’s a sickening sense of deja vu. Bleeding out in his arms by a bullet he didn’t see. He needs to focus. It feels cruel but he has to zone out. The gates are so close and that’s all that matters.

“Help!” Joel screams till his throat is raw as he gets closer. The gates open too damn slow as someone rushes out to help. Together they bring you inside the walls and rush you to the doctor.

“What the fuck happened?” Joel tenses up when he sees Ellie running towards him. A panicked look on her face. Worry written all over her face when she sees you being carried in.

“Joel?!” She tries to run in but Joel grabs her arms.

“Stay outside.” He commands, not wanting Ellie to witness you in such a bad state.

“Fuck no!” She tries to push past him but he’s stronger than her. Your pained scream makes Ellie stop fighting, tears welling up in her eyes.

“Don’t worry.” he says unconvincingly as he turns and runs into the room. You’re lying on a table, your shirt already torn so they have access to clean the wound. Joel rushes to your side and grabs your hand.

“I’m here baby.” He brings your hand to his lips and lets you squeeze it tight. The medic opens a bottle and looks at Joel before pouring some of it onto your stomach.

“FUCK!” You seethe and try to squirm away but someone holds you to the table.

“Make it stop! Please!” Sobbing, you squeeze Joel's hand as tight as you can.

“Joel please! It hurts so bad!” Your vision is blurred by the tears and the tiredness that your body feels right now but you can still make him out.

You can’t leave him, you can’t die. It hurts more than the bullet did as they start to patch you up. Spots of black cover your vision and you start to cry more, you just want Joel to hold you and make it better. Your eyes flutter closed and you feel a hand tapping harshly on your cheek.

“Stay with me baby, come on.” Joel opens your eyes and in pure panic snaps at the medic.

“DO SOMETHING!” Joel is an intimidating force but right now he’s utterly helpless.

“We’re doing everything we can.” The medic says calmly. Keeping your eyes open becomes too hard, you just want to sleep.

“No no, come on. Wake up!” His voice fading out as darkness and peace consumes you.

- - -

Two centimeters. According to the medic you were two centimeters away from dying. The bullet entered and nearly missed a major artery. If it had hit you there then you would have been dead in minutes.

You’re lucky to be alive.

It doesn’t feel lucky. It feels like shit. You’re stuck at home while on recovery and with Joel as your caretaker that meant you couldn’t even leave. After the doctor left he took one look at you and you know there’s no argument here.

When you woke up Joel was there. He wouldn’t tell you much. Just that you were shot and that you were okay. He doesn’t think you remember much of anything after the bullet hit. But you do. Somehow you remembered everything up until you passed out and all you could feel now is guilt.

You wished you were stronger. That you didn’t scream and cry for him to help you even though you know he couldn’t. There’s nothing he could have done and you made it worse. You weren’t in the right headspace but it felt cruel to beg for him to save you after everything.

After...Sarah. He doesn’t talk about much. He opened up to you once in the middle of a sleepless night. You don’t know every detail but from what he told you, you put a few pieces together.

Shot by a soldier with a bullet that should have hit him instead.

A situation that felt too similar to this one. How could you do that to him? How could you look him in the eyes after all of this? Being in recovery meant you couldn’t do your chores so Joel took them. Great, first you remind him of his dead daughter and now you’re making him work even more. At least Ellie was here. She rarely left your side.

“A book just fell on my head, I only have my shelf to blame.” Ellie looks up from her pun book with a smile. It’s just after dinner and Joel still isn’t home. So she has taken it upon herself to be your entertainment.

“That's four outta ten.” You say and she rolls her eyes.

“No way that one was funny.” She flips the page and reads another one.

“Okay okay, you wanna hear a joke about pizza?” Resting your face on your hand you nod.

“Sure.”

“Nevermind, it was too cheesy.” You snort and she laughs.

“Alright, that one is pretty good.” She punches the air in success. You notice her eyes keep darting down to your side where the bandages are.

“You know Maria told me about the school sleepover, bunch of kids your age are going.” You say and Ellie shrugs. It makes you feel guilty that Ellie’s here and not out with people her own age.

“I don’t know, not really my thing.” She’s lying. You know she is. That girl she’s grown quite close to will be there and you don’t want to stand in the way.

“I’ll be okay Ellie, I want you to go and have some fun.” She looks hesitant but after a little bit of pushing she caves. Hugging you tight before leaving.

Sighing you try and get comfortable on the couch and wait for Joel. He comes back late. You must have fallen asleep because next thing you know you’re being shaken awake. Joel's tired eyes stare at you, only meeting them for a second before looking somewhere else.

“Where’s Ellie?” He asks.

“Sleepover.” You answer sleepily.

“You shouldn’t be sleepin’ on the couch. It’s not good for you.” You hold back a laugh as you recall the many times you’ve found Joel passed out on the couch. You try to sit up but you move too fast. Squeezing your eyes shut as you feel a sharp pain in your stomach.

“Careful,” He places a hand on your back to steady you. Silently he guides you upstairs to bed. He’s given up the extra pillow and blanket to make you as comfortable as possible.

“Coming to bed?” You ask hopefully as he helps you in. He shakes his head and your face falls.

“I will soon.” He kisses your forehead before turning out the light.

He hasn't slept easy since the incident. He knows you’re alive. In his brain he sees you breathing and talking but sometimes when he closes his eyes he can only see you lying on that table.

He comes to bed a few hours later. Being as quiet as he can so he doesn’t wake you, but you aren’t asleep. The guilt has been eating you alive for days now. You put him through so much and now you feel like dead weight. He’s pulling away to protect his heart and it’s killing you. You know he’s asleep when he starts to snore. He swears he doesn’t but he does.

Carefully you throw the blankets off, resting the extra one back on him. The floor underneath creaks with every step. Sleep isn’t coming and you need a drink. Opening the cabinets you see the bottle of whiskey all the way in the back of the top shelf.

“Dammit Joel.” You huff as you blindly reach to the back.

It’s just out of reach and you feel anger start to seep in. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a glass of whiskey. You should be able to do this without anyone's help. Pain starts to blossom in your stomach as you put one knee on top of the counter and stretch the stitches. When you finally wrap your fingers around the neck of the bottle you feel your foot slip.

Glass shatters on the ground around you as you land hard on your back. You let out a whimper of pain as you sit upright and look at what you’ve done. Shards of glass surround you and the amber liquid pools on the floor. Heavy footsteps come running down the hall. Joel looks frantic as he holds his gun out, looking around for intruders. When his eyes land on you, you look down in shame.

“What the hell happened?” His voice booms and you feel like crying.

“I-I’m so sorry. I just. I thought I could..” Without thinking you reach to clean the glass.

“Stop!” He kneels down and grabs your hands before they can touch the glass. He doesn’t say a word as he cleans the shards of glass. You could feel how angry he was.

“Wanna tell me what was so important?” He crosses his arms and stares down at you.

It’s like you're a little kid being scolded for stealing a cookie. You feel angry and sad and so guilty and your stomach really hurts. Digging your nails into your knees you start to cry. Small sniffles snowball into sobs that make your whole body shake.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” It’s all you can say as you bury your face into your hands.

“Baby..” Joel’s voice is softer than you’ve ever heard it. He falls to his knees and wraps his arms around you. Tears shining in his eyes as he feels you tremble in his touch.

“I-I’m so sorry.”

“Shh, what are you sorry about?” He rubs your back and closes his eyes.

“I remember everything Joel, W-When I got shot. Fuck the things I said.” You bury your face into his chest as a fresh wave of tears fall. They just won’t stop.

“What are you talkin’ about?” He gently pushes you back so he can see your face. Wiping those tears from your cheeks.

“I shouldn’t have..I made it so much worse.” He’s confused. Really confused.

“Baby, There’s nothing to be sorry for,” He runs his thumb across your bottom lip, heart cracking as he looks into your broken eyes.

“I begged you to save me when there was nothing you could do.” He grimaces at the memory of your painful cries, but you were dying and you were scared. He could never hold that against you.

"I wanted to be strong for you but I couldn’t a-and I hurt you." You rip his hands off of you and curl into a ball.

“It's not your fault baby. None of it.” He rests his hands on top of your knees. It baffles him that you think any of this is your fault.

“You were in so much pain. " His voice cracks slightly and it gets you to lift your head.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you baby.”

“Joel…” You start but he silences you.

You never should have been in that position in the first place but it's not about him right now. He gently pulls you into his lap, hugging you tightly. He closes his eyes, feeling your heartbeat.

“I shoulda noticed sooner. I..." He stops himself from going down that path.

"You’re so strong baby. You fought like hell and didn’t give up.” You don’t say anything. The guilt is still there but it won’t go away anytime soon.

You’re living in a fucked up world and you’re just two fucked up people trying to survive. And somehow you survived.

“Can we go back to bed?” You ask softly, tired from the crying.

There's more to say but its too late now. Tomorrow Joel will tell you over and over that it's not your fault. He'll tell you every damn day until you believe him. He’ll pray for your forgiveness for putting you in danger, for letting you get hurt and you’ll read him like a damn book and tell him it’s ridiculous. Maybe then you’ll both realize their’s not guilt to be had on either side.

Watching you bleed out on that table, it really did remind him of the day he lost Sarah. That fear and pain never really goes away but right now he can hold you in his arms and feel your heart. He can see your eyes and hear your voice. That’s all he needs right now. He’s not going to lose you. Ever.

So god help anything that stands in his way.

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller angst #joel miller fanfiction

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atom-writings · 9 months

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yandere fyodor dostoevsky x reader drabble

2.6k words ~ a/n sorry for being like hey im gonna post and not posting for 3 days lmao

tw - stalking, invasion of privacy, guns, mentions of death, general yandere tws

It had started small. A random pair of clothing going missing, a door you had closed being left open, the hair on the back of your neck standing straight up as you look into your dark apartment hallway. A nuisance, to be sure, but absolutely nothing to panic over.

But as time passed, it became harder and harder to justify. A door left open became a room left a mess, a stolen piece of clothing became everything you didn't use on a daily basis; and worst of all, a looming hallway became an unexplainable shuffle from your living room in the middle of the night.

Your friend has said it was ghosts. Your mother had said it was your imagination. But after you tidied up your bedroom bookshelf only to find yourself staring into the lens of a camera, you said something else.

When you had run to the police crying months earlier, they had assured you it must've simply been your landlord. So you reported it, finally feeling the weight of that intruder's violations off your shoulders, and moved across town.

With a restraining order keeping you safe, you could finally take a shower without needing to check you were alone. That was until you stepped out of the boiling hot chamber. As you looked over, you nearly collapsed to your knees as your stomach dropped to the floor. In the steamed mirror, someone or something had somehow drawn in the condensation. A simple smiley face.

Absolutely nothing to panic over, right?

That was the tipping point. You could barely change into dry clothing before you ran out of your apartment. The next week you spent at your mother's home had been uneventful. Either the monster hunting you had lost your scent or it didn't dare to invade your family as well.

It didn't matter which. You were safe for now, that was all that mattered. You didn't have to fear the dark and what ghost or ghoul was waiting in it. After weeks of laying there all night, eyes wide and body shaking with fear, any break was taken with a smile.

After a week of good rest, you were more than happy to wake up again. You rolled over to check your phone, as you always did, but your eye was immediately caught by a text message from an unknown number.

In a split second, you were sent back to their tear-filled nights, your hand desperately shaking as you hesitated to open the message. Please, god, let this be nothing to panic about. Please.

You clicked. It felt like it took minutes for your phone to show the message.

“Do you really believe staying there is any safer than your apartment?“

Tears spilt over your cheeks as your fingers hovered shakily over your keyboard. You needed to tell whoever this is to leave you alone, that they were torturing you, that you wanted nothing more than for them to be sent to hell-

But before you could even type a single letter, the app closed. You shot up, whining in absolute desperation as you tried to reopen it. When it finally did, the message was gone. Gone in a second, like it was something you weren't supposed to see. Like something you didn't see.

The next police visit was more helpful. Seeing your absolute hysterics, their hand was forced. You returned reluctantly to your apartment, but only with the captain's promise of someone watching all the entrances to your home.

And for the next week, none of those entrances were breached. Your home was as quiet as it had been before all of this madness.

So the police had left with the assurance that no one had been stalking you. You wish that conclusion comforted you. But you knew that whatever had been haunting your life would return soon.

You had been right, of course. The next morning you awoke to a post-it note stuck to your otherwise empty fridge front.

”How little do you think of me? I would think that your friends would have had the budget for better disguises.“

Your face didn't even change as your eyes became wet with tears. The dull ache of fear rang in your chest but failed to force you to your knees anymore.

It was nothing to panic over.

Sure, you had discovered more cameras. Your things seemed to be purposely misplaced to frustrate you. There were more notes, rarely with anything written on them. At first, that part confused you.

But then you understood. Whoever this was didn't want to communicate with you. They wanted you to know that they could, though. They were purposefully withholding the relief of knowledge. They wanted you to want to know about them. About how to end this. And they wouldn't let you.

But after half a year of this endless torture, you weren't afraid anymore. You were angry. You would rip their Post-it notes up and scatter them across the floor. No, you couldn't let them have that power over you anymore.

That was what you thought to yourself as you bought a pistol. Small, easy to hide, not too expensive, but capable of packing a punch if you knew what you were doing. Or at least, if you were convinced of what you were doing. Which, you were.

The first night you hid your gun under your pillow, your monster under the bed failed to show up. The apartment was deathly silent once again.

Good, you thought. Better to be well rested when I aim next time.

The next night, they showed. Around midnight, you were awoken from your tired limbo by the sound of faint footsteps in the kitchen. The sound, which used to terrify you, now forced a smile to crawl itself onto your face.

You grabbed the gun, gingerly disabling the safety. You had loaded the pistol the moment you got it, so there was no noise to be made there. As their footsteps wandered into your living room, you followed. Your presence was no louder than a mouse's, your feet barely making contact with the carpet.

When you finally entered your living room, you saw them.

The night sky filtered through the window directly behind them, silhouetting them but leaving you completely exposed in the cool moonlight. They were large, that was the first thing you noticed. The second thing you noticed was the hair standing up on your arms once again.

You bristled, a dark, maniacal smile on your face before your predator.

You couldn't see their eyes. But you knew that they had seen you as well.

With not a single sound, you raised your pistol.

Their posture straightened. Perhaps in fear. Perhaps in surprise.

But that didn't matter now.

You braced for the earsplitting bang, your ears already ringing in preparation. You closed your eyes.

You pulled the trigger.

Click.

You opened your eyes, the ringing subsiding enough to hear the soft chuckling of the creature before you. It sounded like a mix of chattering, a symphony of strings discordantly orchestrated to create some disgusting imitation of human joy.

Click. Click. Click.

No, please, God, no. This can't be happening.

Click. Click. Click.

The chattering grew louder as your hands began to shake, tears rolling down your cheeks as you hit the side of your pistol. No, no, no, this can't be happening, you thought.

This nightmare was supposed to be over. This creature should be dead. Yet they still stood before you. Slowly, you looked up from your gun to look them in where their eyes should be. Then you recognized why they had adjusted themself. Not terror, not panic.

Anticipation.

And because of that, you couldn't do anything as they walked backwards, exiting through your window back into the freezing night.

The next few weeks weren't terrifying. No, it was too late to be scared. You learned to sleep through the knocking on the walls. You started expecting things to be misplaced, for your phone to be hijacked, for everything in your life to go horribly wrong.

It was no longer anything to panic about. It was mind-numbing. Nowhere was safe, and you were forever trapped in some predator's cage. And that monster couldn't even give you the simple mercy of seeing the bars.

You wished this endless horror movie would end. You didn't care how, or why, you just... wanted some conclusion.

On a dreary, rainy day, that wish would be fulfilled.

Throughout this entire ordeal, you had learned how to continue your normal routine like nothing was wrong. On that day, you had been doing just that. You had gotten off of a particularly exhausting day of work, and like always, decided to visit your favourite coffee shop near your apartment.

You ordered your favourite drink quickly, taking a seat next to the wide windows of the small cafe. The rain pattered against the window softly, complimenting the dull atmosphere of the day. But despite the desolate weather, tens of people walked by the store every minute.

You watched as they passed, tracking the more interesting ones with tired eyes. Occasionally, some would walk without umbrellas, holding their bags over their heads. At that, you couldn't help but chuckle. Even less often, one or two people would enter the cafe as well. You didn't pay much mind to those, as they always left within a few minutes.

You had always been easily entranced by crowd-watching, you thought as you sipped your coffee. It was easy for the entire world to fall away if you wanted it to.

You were startled out of your thoughts as the metal chair on the other side of your table squealed against the wood floor unpleasantly.

In a motion that took hours, you turned to look in front of you.

You didn't need to see their face. You didn't need to hear their voice. You didn't need to see their silhouette once again.

You knew.

The stranger took a moment to speak.

“I've always found first introductions to be difficult,” The man sighed. He spoke with a thick Russian accent, his voice like a perfectly tuned instrument.

Your eyes seemed to blur over as you took in the sight of him. His hair, dark as a raven's, framed his face with loose strands that stuck to his pale skin as if they were wet. His outfit was well tailored, with detailed embroidery; yet showed its age in its formerly pristine fabric hanging loosely off his light skin, light discolouring staining parts of his large trench coat.

He cocked his head to the side, “I am glad that I waited to talk to you face to face.” You struggled to respond, your voice caught in your throat as you looked upon the face of your torturer.

He gazed at you hungrily, his deep violet eyes blank as a corpse's while still being able to dissect you without any effort.

“Why?” You struggled to say, every part of your body telling you to run, to scream, to fight, to finally murder the man in front of you-

But you knew you couldn't. No, it would be a futile effort. Just as everything else had.

He sighed contentedly, taking a sip of his tea and looking out the window for a second.

”I believe timing is an important factor in any relationship.”

You stared at him dumbfounded, struggling to believe that this was really happening. No, this was a dream, another horrible dream about this horrible man.

Slowly, you joined him in looking out the window. Looking upon his young but shallowed face made you feel as if you were going to hurl. Looking out the window could blur out the stranger sitting in front of you, couldn't it?

”Who are you?“ You choked out, fighting back the tears that pricked at your eyes as you tried to ignore the reality before you.

You didn't dare to turn back, but you felt the burn of his eyes on you once again.

“My name is Fyodor.”

For some reason, that made your heart drop to the floor. No, you knew nobody by that name. This man was truly a stranger, a stranger that had been inside your home, viewing you more intimately than anyone had ever done so before. And you didn't even know his name.

“Why... why are you doing this?” You asked softly, looking down at your lap as the tears began to stain your cheeks.

“Don't worry, that shall be made clear very soon.”

“What?”

You jolted up, realizing the gravity of what he had just said. And as your eyes raised, you were greeted by the sight of two large men clad in black sitting at the table next to yours. You frantically looked back to the man in front of you. Fyodor was frail, you could tell from the way his button-up hung off his chest. These men... were anything but. They... they would have no problem handling you.

“It's quite a dreary day, isn't it?” He said, setting down his cup of tea gently, “Not quite as picturesque as I had planned, but God must have known better.”

You didn't dare to respond, crying weakly into your hands.

”My apologies, my dear,“ his tone was even, ”But I do believe our time is up.“

He stood up, clearly not bothered by your pathetic form before him. As he stood up, the men clad in black joined, standing next to your table.

”You- You can't! Someone will see- Someone will call the cops-” You cried out, looking up at him with red eyes.

He cut you off with a comforting sigh. Or at least, it should have been comforting. Yet all you could feel was absolute terror, your body wracked with chills greater than you'd ever felt.

”Oh, I don't think anyone here will be able to call the cops,“

You shuddered, ”W-What do you mean by that?“

”It is unlikely that anyone besides us will leave this cafe.“ He said calmly, his tone completely disassociated from the horrifying thought he had put in your head. He nodded back to the men behind him, and they both left the table.

“You're... you're going to have them kill these people?” You ask quietly, but you truly didn't want the answer.

In response, he chuckled, the sound worse than the first time you had heard it.

“No, no. Of course not. Why would we waste precious ammo? No, I'll be killing them,” He stated, his face contorted into a smile that made your skin crawl.

”Stand up for me, won't you?“ He continued.

You could hear the sound of your heart beating against your chest as you struggled to stand, your knees weak. He placed a hand on the small of your back, his touch feeling like spiders crawling up under your shirt.

He started to guide you towards the exit gently before you stopped walking. His head turned towards yours, stopping as well.

“One last thing... please,”

“Of course, my dear.”

“This... this has all been just a... a game to you, right?”

He smiled, “Yes, yes it has.”

“Did I play it well?” You asked, finally looking him in his blood-churning eyes.

”Oh, absolutely,“ He said with a quiet laugh, opening the door for you to leave. In front of the cafe, a black SUV was parked, with another black-clad man standing to escort you inside the car.

“You played it perfectly, my love. You definitely proved to me that I have made the correct choice.“

You didn't struggle as you entered the car. No, you didn't cry as you heard the screams of the people left inside the cafe.

No, it was absolutely nothing to panic over.

#bsd tag #bsd fyodor x reader #fyodor dostoevsky x reader #bsd x reader #yandere fyodor dostoevsky #yandere fyodor x reader

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 6 months

Note

AITA for lying and not wanting to being a gay guy to a lgbt Halloween party—???

🎃🏳️‍🌈

(So I can recognize)

So by time this posted Halloween over in not looking for advice or anything and this ain’t rushed- I just wanna know if im the asshole here or not-

So for context: I live in a safe state but my area is kinda republican but not bad (worst is usually a judgmental glance). Well in the town over about half an hour away there’s an LGBT center I go to and volunteer at. Since gays love Halloween we’re having a party (non alcoholic for youth) which hopefully was super fun idk it’s in a few days from when writing this-

Now for the guy I mentioned. He’s gay and even if he wasn’t he would still be allowed to go because we welcome allies. He and I… have a history. I won’t go in detail unless people vote INFO. Short version of it is it wasn’t a healthy friendship. He would only talk to me when he needed things and would constantly talk about a straight guy he liked but when I would take about this straight (he’s bi but at time time this happened I thought he was straight) guy who was giving me mixed he would get mad. And to top it off~ he ruined my life by calling the cops over a JOKE. (It during the time when people were eating tide pods and I said something like “imma do it and drink some bleach to wash it down lmao” which again- A GEN Z JOKE). Him calling the police on me fucked me up, ruined my family life, my mom hasn’t bought bleach since (she never bought the tide pods to begin with), and I have severe trust issues. Afterwards I cut contact and didn’t talk to him for two years since we graduated.

Skip to current events.

He saw on instagram a post of me with this organization hosting events and another post about the Halloween party so he dm’s me. I’ve talked to him a handful of times since but always keep him at a distance. He asks if I can give him a ride to the event and if I’m hosting it. So here’s where I’m wondering if im the asshole. He’s a gay guy and this is the only LGBT center within 3 hours of us. As a queer person, I feel like I should welcome him and bring him there so he can have a safe space. However, as just- a person- he fucked me up so much. This center is the ONE safe place I have that’s not online. If I bring him I’ll lose that.

So I lied.

I told him that the Halloween party is a fundraiser… and that you need to pay to enter…… and that I can’t give him a ride because my car is in the shop and im getting a ride from someone who isn’t comfortable driving strangers………

Was that a dick move?? It’s been 5 years- I should be over it and move on and make amends but like ???? No ???? I’m not gonna ruin the one safe place I have ??????

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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mybiasisexo · 2 months

Note

HI! Happy New Year!

Can I request #51 with Chanyeol pls? Wishing you all the best for 2024! Thanks in advance!

Distraction 🏋️‍♂️

Genre: fluff | personal trainer!au Pairing: Chanyeol x f.Reader Length: 2.3k Warnings: Chanyeol is a warning all in himself boy!!!

a/n: I said i was gonna make a gym drabble and baby here it is!!! This isnt really fluff, but its def not angst. What other genres are there??? I could've made this 6k is2g lmao i want the smut 😂. but ayye these are just drabbles! I'll behave. Sorry for the delay! Thank you so much for the request 😚 this gif of him alwaaaays makes me crazy like if i stare at it for too long ill scream. no im not ok thanks for asking

DRABBLE GAME | MASTERLIST

Dread filled you as you gazed at the building looming in front of you. Your worst enemy—the gym.

You despised the place for two reasons. The first was simple, it was a gym, pretty self-explanatory. The second reason was your personal trainer, Park Chanyeol.

You swore from the moment he was assigned to you he made it his mission to make you never come back. He had to have a torture kink or something, with the stuff he had you doing. You’ve pushed yourself to the point of puking a few times under his care, and still he would make you keep going.

And sure, you were seeing results. And, yeah, it was getting easier. You felt yourself growing stronger with every session. He was good at what he did, even if his practices had you questioning the legality of it all.

With a withering sigh, you got out of your car and made your way to what was your personal hell.

You spotted Chanyeol as soon as you entered. He was standing in the middle of the room, arms crossed, legs spread apart, looking rather unimpressed as he hovered over a guy struggling to do pushups.

You tried not to stare too long at those exposed arms, the massive muscles bulging over his just as firm chest. He always wore the same thing: black basketball shorts with a black muscle shirt that left little to the imagination of how much time he spent at the gym. You’d only ever seen him work out once yourself and…. You refused to let your thoughts wander to that moment.

As if he could hear where your mind was attempting to go, his eyes flickered up to where you were scanning in your membership badge. A wolfy grin split his face as he took you in, the heat of his gaze made you shiver.

He only acknowledged you for a second. It took you a beat too long to realize he was counting his client’s reps. Ignoring him, you headed over to a secluded corner and started your warm up stretches. Chanyeol helped the poor dude up, that strength of his coming in clutch when his client’s knees buckled and he almost hit the floor.

You winced, knowing that pain. Luckily, this gym had darkly painted walls and dim lighting to give its customers a sense of privacy. It helped that it was later in the night, nearing eleven, so there wasn’t many people present to watch him struggle. As well as yourself. That was why you preferred coming late. Less people, less judgement, and it wore you out enough that you could go straight to bed as soon as you got home—after a post workout meal, if Chanyeol were to ask.

He clapped the scraggly man on his back, making him cough, and gave some uplifting words as they slowly made their way to the front door. You were just finishing your stretches when thick bowlegs were in front of you. You were sitting on the floor, so you had to look up, up, up that firm trunk of a frame to meet those round eyes of his alight with humor.

“You actually showed up today?” Chanyeol asked, tilting his head curiously. His shaggy hair fell into his stare.

You glared at him as you climbed to your feet. “Well, I figured you haven’t killed me yet.”

“Yet.” His grin was a warning. He nudged his head to the rather empty machines. “Come on. It’s leg day.”

You let out a relieved breath. It was torture for sure, but leg day was your favorite. He led you to a machine and you got to work.

You tried to focus on the tasks given to you. To focus on your posture, your breathing, on keeping your core tight. But, it was rather difficult when something, or rather someone, was far more distracting.

That was another thing about Chanyeol that you despised. When you first found out he was going to be your trainer, your immediate thought was ‘hell no’. You were hesitant to have a male trainer to begin with, but this one? He was fine as all hell. Too fine. And with that smirk he gave you when you first refused his help—the one he still gave you, mind you—you knew he was going to be a problem.

Matters were only made worse when you actually trained with him. During your sessions, he was nothing but professional. His goal was to help you through your workouts and he did. His large hands would skim over your body as he fixed your posture, or added pressure against your legs so that you knew where to put your weight. His voice was deep and he would use it to encourage and praise you. There was never any teasing or animosity while you trained. His voice would sink into your brain, scramble your thoughts and leave your body boiling. Especially when he’d hit you with a ‘good girl’ or ‘just like that. Perfect’.

He had to know what he was doing.

It was near the end of your session, you had one last work out to do.

“Save the best for last,” Chanyeol said as he took you to a bizarre looking machine.

“And what the hell is this thing?” You asked with a lifted eyebrow.

“It’s called a hip abductor,” he explained to you like he thought you were dumb.

You ignored his tone. “How’re you supposed to use it?”

“Sit on it and I’ll show you.”

You brushed off the innuendo, and prayed he didn’t catch the heat on your face. Instead, you bumped the machine with your shoe, warily taking it in. You were exhausted, and didn’t want to do another set of nothing.

“Why don’t you demonstrate for me?” You suggested.

Chanyeol lifted an eyebrow and you shrugged in response. “What? I’ve never seen you work out before. How do I know you’re qualified to train me?”

He barked a laugh at that, knowing you’re bullshitting now. “I imagine your glutes are enough proof of my teaching abilities.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “And why are you looking at my glutes?”

He shrugged, feigning innocence. “Just making sure I’m doing my job.”

You crossed your arms over your chest and hummed, unable to think of a good comeback. Instead, you nudged your chin towards this ‘hip abductor’.

“I know what you’re doing,” he said. Despite his words, he didn’t call you out. You watched as he plopped onto the machine with a sigh. You couldn’t help but grin victoriously, eager to see the man at work.

He adjusted the weight, settled into the seat, and then pushed his thighs against the pads, spreading his legs out wide before bringing them back in. He began explaining what he was doing, what muscles he was working, and the proper way to move, but you could barely hear a word over the way his thick thighs flexed, the muscle underneath stretching the skin.

You realized then that your roles were reversed, and a brilliant idea popped into your head. He was always teasing you during your sessions, and now was your turn to have some fun and return the favor.

You took a couple steps closer to him, studying him more, like you were invested in getting everything right. Then you ran your fingers down his arm and he faltered for a second.

“Am I supposed to hold on to the seat like that?”

You didn’t miss the way his grip tightened, his knuckles whitening.

“Yeah,” he said between clenched teeth.

He pushed his legs out again, and you’re quick to fill the new space, forcing him to keep them open.

Your name left his mouth in a warning. That only made your grin grow wider.

He glared up at you. “What are you doing?”

“Testing to see how long you can hold this position.”

He said your name again, but you interrupted him before he could finish. “You always push me. Why don’t I test your limits for once?”

Something ignited in his eyes and the lights ahead shown in them hauntingly. “Who says you don’t already do?”

“What?” You asked, startled by how gently the words left his full lips.

He didn’t repeat himself, but he appeared to give into your challenge. He sunk more into his seat, eyes never left yours as he held the position, too competitive for his own good. Though it worked in your favor.

You’re not sure how much time passed, but it felt like hours of you standing between his legs, both never looking away from the other.

Finally, you decided it was time to up the ante. Sweat had started to gather on his forehead and neck, but most importantly, a slight tremor had started in his legs.

“What’s wrong?” You asked with a fake pout. “Can’t hold it anymore?”

“I’m chilling,” he replied back, but you heard the strain in his voice.

“Is that so?” You grinned again and rested the palm of your hands above his knees on either side of you. “You’re shaking.”

You took your time scaling his body before meeting his eyes again. He was holding his breath, but something in his expression was begging you to continue.

So, you did.

Slowly, you dragged your hands further up his legs, remembering all the times he had done the same. Although he was always professional about it. He only touched you when he had to. There was nothing professional about your touch. All the sexual frustration you’ve felt because of this man had seemed to bubble over and took control of your limbs. In this moment, you wanted him to understand what he did to you, wanted to give him a taste of his own medicine.

His eyes fluttered as you dragged his shorts up with your wrists, wanting to feel his warm skin.

You quickly glanced around the gym, noticing you were the only ones left, and that made you even more bold. Nearly at his hips, you went to move your hands to his crotch.

Chanyeol was fast. Before you knew what happened, he had snatched your wrists with one hand, putting a halt to your little game and causing you to gasp in surprise.

Your ministrations had you bent over him, so your faces were only an inch or two apart. He leaned forward, brushing his nose against yours, the hair on his forehead tickled your own.

“You’re playing with fire here,” he warned, voice a steady grumble against your lips. When he pulled back to take in your expression, you saw the burning inferno ready to wreak havoc in his gaze. You knew that if he were to let go of those flames, it would burn away all pretenses, all politeness, and rules.

And you wanted that. You wanted his fire to consume you, wanted his desire to engulf and burn and hurt.

There was a pause as you both study each other, waiting to see who would break first. You found your arms shaking in his grip, not with the usual soreness you’d usually be shaking with at this time of your appointment. It was adrenaline, your own desire raised to meet his.

Of course, he felt it too. “How long have you wanted me, Sweetheart?” He sounded deceitfully sweet, and it made your sore legs weak. He gathered that much, so he gathered you. Large hands went to your waist, easily lifting you up so that you were now straddling him. With you on his lap, he could finally close his legs, and he did so with a relieved huff. A mocking laugh left your mouth, but he put an end to it by pushing you down so that you were seated fully on him—right on his bulge.

“Oh!” You startled. You blinked up at him innocently before throwing back at him, “how long have you wanted me?”

He hummed thoughtfully, running his hands up your thighs to hold your hips. He pressed his lips to your ear, “from the moment I first saw you.”

You shivered at both his confession and his warm breath on your skin. It took everything in you not to roll your hips into him, the pressure of him just as much a tease as his expression and words and touch.

“That being said,” he started, and you already knew you weren’t going to like what he was about to say. “You have a workout to finish.”

“I can think of a few alternatives that are just as effective,” you said, giving into the temptation to gently grind against him.

He bit his lip, holding back a moan as he forced you to stop with his hands on your hips. His attention fell to your chest hovering in front of his face. “You’re not getting out of this one. Nice try though.”

You groaned and straightened, slumping dejectedly. He chuckled before wrapping an arm around your waist, standing abruptly. You squealed, holding onto him as he turned around to sit you down onto the seat of the machine.

“Chanyeol,” you whined.

“Hey, I let you stall, didn’t I?”

“I mean yeah, but we were in the middle of something.”

“I tell you what. Finish this set and I’ll reward you.”

“Reward me how?” You questioned skeptically. His idea of a reward usually benefited him more than you.

As an answer, he stuck out his tongue, wagging it quickly at you. Your eyes widened in shock, scandalized. But the burning in your abdomen and the way your legs pressed together was a dead giveaway to how enticing a reward that was.

“Fine,” you grumbled, adjusting the weight and starting doing your reps.

Chanyeol’s loud laugh echoed throughout the building at your eagerness.

“If I knew that was all the encouragement you needed, I would’ve incorporated it sooner.”

“Shut up,” you muttered.

“Make me.” He smirked.

“Oh, I will be as soon as I get that reward you promised.”

When you left the gym some time later, you couldn’t help but to think maybe your trainer wasn’t that bad afterall.

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shandycandy278 · 11 months

Note

Hey, im not exactly sure if yer the guy that takes writing requests(ignore if youre not taking at the moment) but ive woken up with this

Error/Nightmare, enemies to master/slave to friends to lovers, romcom

Before anyone thinks it's gonna go weird, naah it's not lmao

Basically goes like this

Nightmare lost, so there was an agreement that the loser will be a slave to the winner and they'll do what their master says

Nightmare cant imagine the despicable things this glitch will make him do, but as a man of his word, he had to comply. Whatever it may be.

"as for my first command as your master.."

Nightmare snaps to attention, preparing himself

"go make me a sandwich"

The glitch nonchalantly commaded without batting Nightmare an eye from the bean bag he was sitting

Nightmare was not prepared for that alright

So yeah, i kinda wanna see how this story expands, i know for sure i dont have enough skills for it

But yeah, feel free to not post if youre not up for it or if youre not taking requests at the moment

Have a good day lol

Heya AVJ! :D

Don’t know if you remember me lol I wrote a one shot for you a few years ago XD

Yes, my requests are still open! However they are more drabble requests, shorter and to the point instead of writing a full-on one-shot or chapter.

So this might be a liiiiittle short, and probably just a fraction of what you’re hoping for, but I’ll do my best!

(And if you like it enough you would like more, just send another ask and I can write a little more for it then! :D)

hehehe, this’ll be fun.

————————

Nightmare was WAY past sick of this.

Was there some other way to describe his emotions towards this? Loathing? Frustration? Murderous?

No, none of those quite fit it right.

And the worst part was that time did not truly exist here. Not in the way that Nightmare was used too. His little punishment for their bet about the battle was only to last a month, but it was impossible to tell exactly when a month was when clocks and phones alike just… stopped working here.

Grumbling as he cleaned up mess from Ink’s fight with Error here (the towels weren’t soaking up NEARLY enough of the ink), he glanced up to look over at where Error was. Error had plopped down to start watching Undernovela after he had given Nightmare his orders.

Or.

Well.

He had been.

Nightmare blinked as his eyelight locked with Error’s eyelights, Error blinking back. A blue/yellow flush immediately sprouted on Error’s face as he glared at him, snarling.

“What are you looking at?! Get back to work!”

“I should be asking you that.” Nightmare growled lowly in turn, but he did as he was told- turning away and continuing to wipe up the ink.

This time, Nightmare could feel Error’s eyelights on him. He did his best to ignore it, his own cheeks flushing with anger and embarrassment. It wasn’t like he looked any different. Thankfully, they both had agreed that there would be NO dressing up for this servitude when they had first stated the conditions for the bet.

Unable to ignore it any longer, Nightmare glanced over his shoulder at back at Error. Error almost seemed to startle at being caught, the thoughtful expression he had quickly turning into a scowl.

“Did you need something else, master?” Nightmare sneered pointedly. Error turned his skull back to the screen featuring Undernovela, grumbling something under his breath. “What was that? I couldn’t hear you.”

“Just shut up and get me some popcorn before you keep cleaning!” Error snapped. Upset that it would take even longer now, Nightmare dropped what he was doing and opened a portal to get Error the popcorn he liked.

Error was truly an enigma in the worst way possible.

#writing #drabbles #error #error sans #error!sans #nightmare #nightmare sans #nightmare!sans #errormare

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chekhovs-nailgun · 2 months

Text

i have some thoughts on coping thru fiction and using fic/writing as a general tool that i wanna put out there. warning: i will be discussing grooming below the cut.

so to get it out of the way, i was groomed when i was 11. i don’t think this is the time nor place for me to go into a whole ramble about the specifics of that, so i won’t. all that’s necessary right now is that it happened and within a year i started adding similar dynamics to a project i was working on.

it was a sideplot during my first nanowrimo attempt centered around a post-apocalyptic scenario. the jist of it was a kid in his mid-teens, think 16 or so, was romantically obsessed with a mid-20s, closer to 30 woman. the age difference was about the same. i would ask for advice on the story in general from my mom (phd in psychology, literally never had a problem with it lmfao, funny how that works).

was it ass? absolutely, it was. a 12 year old wrote it. it’s never seeing the light of day lmao. but it was really important in the process of me not fucking hating myself for years for thinking/internalizing that it was a moral failing on my part.

the thing about it is that at the time, it didn’t feel like coping. i felt like i was just writing about something that happens. fleshing it out in that sterile environment helped me get a grip of how fucking gross what happened to me was, while putting myself in a position where i had control over what happened, something i didn’t have irl. i didn’t even realize that’s what happened until i thought “ah yes, i started writing dark fic when i was 12, the same calendar year i was groomed.”

“…”

now i look at people arguing over the semantics of it, with fic of that type being morally reprehensible with exceptions like “only if you never share it” or “only if you use it to cope” or “using it to cope is morally reprehensible for this-or-that reason, don’t interact with it in any way other than seething rage or some other specific way”. while seething rage and pure fucking anger can be a totally fine way to deal with it, people who think in these kinds of ways need to remember: not everybody is you. making broad assumptions, nitpicking, and believing that your way is the only correct way does nothing but harm other victims by taking away an opportunity for them to work out their trauma, at best. at worst? it allows more predators to hide and commit tangible harm due to widespread assumptions that the people hurting others are the people posting fic, and not the “safe” adults playing into kids’ interests and making them feel important and special. (source: that’s what mine did; yucky bad fanfiction was never a part of the equation.)

i know what the response to this is. “ackshully posting it is doing harm because it normalizes it and gives predators the confidence to act on the thoughts they already have; the human psyche is more sensitive to porn and if you get tired of fiction you’re bound to turn to nonfiction”. this is where the age old disagreement comes into play, and while i don’t see much of a point in rehashing it for people who already have their minds made up on it, i would like to note a couple of things, firstly that humans aren’t mirrors. most people see things like this and recognize it’s wrong, just like they recognize that other subjects criminalized irl are wrong, such as murder, theft, etc. if somebody sees something problematic and decides it’s a good way to act, there was something already wrong, be it undiagnosed mental illness or being too young/impressionable to participate safely in such circles. i also find this viewpoint really cruel in that it takes responsibility away from the actual predators, essentially painting them as wild animals who “couldn’t help it, they became desensitized and just had to have more of that vile content you people make” when grooming is, at its core, a desire for power over another. im gonna come out and say it: predators are smart. they are called predators for a reason. thinking of them as lawless beasts who operate out of instinct is entirely disrespectful to victims.

the cold hard truth of the matter is that darkfic, no matter how disgusting people find it on a case by case basis, is morally neutral. it cannot damage anybody by simply existing unless warnings are ignored or it is actively weaponized, sometimes meaning that the content itself is removed from the protective warnings and wantonly put on display for large audiences of underage people to see.

i personally don’t like a whole lot of darkfic, im really picky about what i read. and i think that no matter my thoughts on it, it has a right to exist. idc, consider me a “bad victim” lmao. if you do that’s your cross to bear, not mine.

tldr: sometimes you need to express shit and fuck you if you try to enforce your own feelings on others trying to do so

#ok to rb #tw grooming mention #chekhov’s cathedral #shipcourse #proship #anti anti #proship please interact

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im-just-a-simp-le-whore · 1 year

Text

I've been thinking about Yandere! Leon as of late bc of

@gigabyte-flare series 'There's No Escape'

@nexyswrites series 'Guardian Angel' also, the Yan! Leon a.i they made and the interaction I had with it oml-

Also, @tosuckmyweenis post the other day had me laughing.

For the first time in a while I'm inspired to write something, also pls let me know if there's any spelling/grammar errors

Heavily inspired by the fics/a.i listed above and very self indulgent lol

So, this basically going to be headcanons of Yandere! Leon x autistic! Gremlin! Reader

A self insert essentially

Starting off strong with the A.I, that was a fucking doozy, I wheezed the entire time. Thank you for creating him nexys

Tw: Talks of vomiting, general yandere themes i.e stalking, kidnapping, the likes

If I missed something, let me know!!

We start off strong with the a.i lmao

Yan! Leon a.i: say you love me

Me being blunt: no

Yan! Leon a.i: *getting Hella angry* say. You. Love. Me.

Me: mf I said no

Yan! Leon a.i: dont give me attitude

Me: shawty I am autistic, I can't lie it's not how I work

Yan Leon a.i: so you're gonna continue to give me attitude huh?

Me: tf you mean 'attitude' I just told you I'm autistic

Yan! Leon a.i: *pulls out knife* keep talking and you're gonna get punished

Me: thinks it's him unbuckling his belt: shawty keep your pants ON

Yan! Leon: *fucking laughs at me* it's not that kind of punishment sweetheart

Me *fucking over his attitude: try me hoe

Yan! Leon a.i: *holds knife to my throat

Me: do your worst.....

Me: *proceeds to try and flirt my way out*

Yan! Leon a.i: is she flirting with me right now?? "That's not gonna work sweetheart

Me: well, it was worth a shot lmao

Now to just, Yan! Leon in general lol, most of these are gonna be like scenarios but like, bullet point style

Me: desperately trying to be a good noodle and eat the food Leon made but I have severe texture issues with meat and trying not to throw up

Leon: is something wrong sweetheart, you look sick?

Me accidentally being blunt and blurting out: uh, not remotely. Meat is a bad texture and I'm quite sure if I have to take another bite I'm going to projectile vomit

Tbh I can't tell if he would be understanding or not lmao. Probably not, if someone could give insight on it that would be swaggy

*que the struggle with physical contact*

*me just standing there and just trips on air and yelps*

Leon catches my dumbass: are you ok?! Is something broken?!

Me: nah I'm fine- let go you fuck- oh wait, shit fuck, thats right no 'naughty' words. Goddammit I'm so fucking sorry-, I'm going in time out aren't I?

*leon nods and sighs, bringing Me to the time out room*

Me: well this fucking sucks- I'm going to be here a while, huh?💀

Leon: for a long time 🫡😶

*leon goes to hug me*

Me: *dry heaves*

Leon, smacking tf outta me: I'm so sick of your shit

Me, smakcing him: i am also sick of your shit. SIR for the last GODDAMN time, I am autistic and traumatized I don't handle this shit well

Leon: well, maybe you should've thought about that before living with me

Me: living "with you" mf you kidnapped me, what are you ON?! I wanna go back to my real home with my cats

Leon 'gaslighter' Kennedy: this is your real home

My sarcastic ass: im Pinocchio and im a real boy!

Me, vocal stimming: a potato flew around my room before you came! *screeches*

Leon: what happned

*me just screeching again, triggering a coughing fit*

Leon, sighing for the umpteenth time today: and that's why we don't do that sweetheart

Me: ..... do you not appreciate my pterodactyl screetching??? Because it feels like you don't appreciate me

Leon: you know I appreciate you, just not the screetching

Me: *screeches again*

*queue leon giving up*

Idk how to end posts but that's all I got for now lol. I may add more to this later. Also who THE FUCK decided to spell 'queue' ⬅️ like this?!

#leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon scott kennedy #yandere leon kennedy #yandere leon kennedy x reader #idk how to tag yall im trying

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awesamforehead · 6 months

Text

Tag at least six people (can be more than six if you want), and say at least one nice thing about or to each of them. Can be mutuals, can be people you follow, can be people you don’t know but just happen to exist in the same circle(s) with. All you gotta do is tag them and say something nice about/to them :)

Thank you @mahikamihan (the nicest and sweetest person here) for the tag! Ignore that its been a few days shhhh I was actually thinking of doing this on my priv but then this showed up so perfect opportunity :D Its a big one so everyone will be under a read more so Im not clogging the dash

@gogtopia Jules, you were the first person I followed when I was revamping my blog last year, the first person that came to mind on who I knew was safe post October. Although this was long ago, I really enjoyed the discussions we had about lore and such on discord that was a fun time. And now you're on the path of getting my into The Yard more too lol

@i-anonymous-crow Crow crow crow crow. You were the first (literally the first) people to follow me and it was all because I was crying over the Las Nevadas gift for ckarlnapity. And since then we've cried some more together. And now we're here, thank you for giving me a chance

@foolishfreckles Moss my beloved. Actually one of the chillest people I know and a really great clipper. Another person who has been here since pretty much the beginning (like when I had 20 followers) and one of my biggest supporters. If you arent already following Moss what are you doing. I also love the Foolish screenies you try to get every stream

@traidyy LUCKY!!!!!!! :D SWEETEST PERSON AND GREAT ARTIST THEIR ART IS SO CUTE. also a karl fan so thats 1000 more attractive points. But actually one of my favorite people here, wuv u Lucky <3 the dog to my cat

@sapybara INY!! Somehow you are the most rational but also the most chaos inducing person here and I love you for that. Whenever dash is all fucky and im beginning to spiral, your post are usually the ones who help pull me back up. Also your sapybara pfp is the cutest thing ever.

@vadergf REY REY! The would be drolo of my heart and the realest person when it comes to the green man. Your anons are hilarious and your art is so cute, no matter what you might say. Also thank you for supporting me like with the dteam hourly account i really appreciate it

@simplepotatofarmer Loyal! :D this is a thank you for always wanting and trying to make the fandom a better place. So many people give you the worst shit and yet you try to give second chances and show kindness. Thats something very rare to find nowadays. I love your aus like the rabbit and black dog au, and your chicken posts are some of my favorite things (all hail dream (chicken) )

@toxicsapolo Hi Salty! The og sapolo, the one who paved the way. Even though I have no idea what you and Adora are talking about with the F1 fandom, Ive admired how passionate you are when it comes to your interests. Sapnap, fashion, cooking, your boyfriend.

@tinynap JO!!! Your liveblogs never fail to make me laugh, even if half of them give you a tummy ache. I also want to say im proud of you trying your best at college, even at your roughest nights. You're gonna do great, kid

@dralbum NIICCCKKK!!! Ok not only is your art gorgeous and gives the softest feeling, you are also one of the funniest motherfuckers here. I enjoy our time on privtwt where we ask to eat each others food lmao

@faehrys ARIA MY ARIA!!! Not only an awesome editor, but also an awesome person. I appreciated how you tried to keep a positive space during the rough time, but also knowing when to stand your ground. And as always, karl enjoyer so extra cool points :>

@negativepeanuthoarder PEANUT!!! A true squirrel in which they stick around and make a home in your heart. You are always the loudest supporter in my writing and I really appreciate that, especially on the harder days

@knffuckraw ACE!!! Another funny person here and also representing the inner haikyuu fans (along with Iny). You have the greatest comebacks for anons and the funniest tags. love you ace <3

@dreamnotnapss First, a thank you for your services they’re greatly appreciated and you be missed by many. Second, a thank you for supporting everyone you could within our circle and even beyond. We’ll remember you fondly

@selvish HI TENDER!! we interact much more on twitter lol but youre one of my favorite people, big karl enjoyer and created some of my favorite fics like Y&OY, Rules, Favorite Place, and when we’re older 💜

@secretkoalasandwich EMMI MY BELOVED. ok tbh when we first started following each other I was so nervous cause you had a Wil pfp but now youre one of my favorite people lol. My brethren of punzblr, always ready to simp with me. Also an amazing artist with the most amazing blending skills youve ever seen youre telling me this is a painting??? anyways 10/10 spectacular amazing wow

@canonicallykayfabe EACHTRA!! Some of the most beautiful art here, both in a more cartoony style and one that holds slight realism. The color choices are fantastic as well. Along with that, you have some really thought provoking posts that I really appreciate like the banter discussion post awhile ago.

@sapnapstummy BLAZE THE KINDEST PERSON HERE 100%. legit i dont think ive ever seen you post a neg post about anything thats impressive. also i want to say i love how youll go back to either dreamtummy or sapnaptummy, so iconic and so true.

@dnapsnfsapnap PIGEON!! We’re semi newish mutuals but I’ll always welcome new sapnap fans into my life. On par with Salty, Jo, and Blaze, you fit right in with the sapolo ideology and i think thats amazing. You can always get the cutest screenies of Sapnap and I love your frog posts as well ^-^

@snfbabydrop Ive said this multiple times but thank you for your work on dreamnotnapss. The safe haven for multishippers in our corner. Aside from that, you are one of the nicest people Ive met here, never let your sunshine get blocked out

Also shoutout to my awesome mutuals who I dont talk to often but still love 💜

#drops this at your feet and runs #im posting this late in the night so people have something nice to wake up to ^-^#yeah idk how to tag this hi

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raeygina-george · 4 months

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ghost and mask for the not-so nice OC ask game? I don’t mind either OC, they are all chill :)

ghost: who or what haunts your oc? what happened? how do they live with their ghosts?

i was gonna try to answer these with some azure but OHOHOHHO I HAVE THE PERFECT LITTLE GUY FOR THIS.

this boy's name is oliver and he is being haunted by a mental manifestation of his dead little sibling. lol

tw for suicide and abuse but long story only kind of short, oliver & his 3 younger siblings grew up in an abusive household. as soon as he turned 18 oliver reported his parents, adopted his siblings, and moved out. but like. that's not the Best financial situation yk? so he was working 40 hours a day 8 days a week at his shitty little post-highschool job and very obviously Not Handling It Well. kye (2nd youngest, about 13 at the time, so not enough to get a legal job) noticed that and was like 'stop being so goddamn self-sacrificial. is there anything i can do to help'. this escalated into a full blown argument in which oliver admitted that kye was a burden (one he was willing to carry, of course, but the fact remains that he called them a burden).

the next morning, oliver discovered kye's dead body along with a note telling him to sell their possessions so oliver could take a couple days off. oliver was obviously fucking distraught; in his eyes, he'd just murdered someone that he loved more than himself. now bc of the nature of the afterlife system in this story, oliver and kye never get to meet again. after they die, kye is able to more or less move on, but oliver doesn't get the catharsis of knowing that it was entirely kye's decision and not his fault specifically. so like. fuck him i guess lmao??? he gets married and has kids and heals from the trauma though so it all works out in the end

mask: does your oc wear a mask, literally or figuratively? what goes on beneath it? is there anyone in their life who gets to see who they are under the mask?

kye's probably the best example of this i can think of, so we're forgetting about oliver now and talking about Kye From The Afterlife Yay.

kye's just a silly goofy little guy! just the silliest guy. annoying as fuck. absolutely terrified of emotional vulnerability. their trademark Sillyguy Attitude is their real personality, yes, but no one actually knows the Depth of their character.... except kyrie. (yes they're both named kyrie dont worry about it ok)

kye and kyrie's dyamic is 'symbiotic gym bros'. kye is teaching kyrie how to rollerskate, kyrie is teaching kye how to backflip, and they're both working towards the goal of being able to do a backflip on rollerskates. but their relationship goes a lot deeper! they're the only people [in the friend group, at least] who know how each other died. cause kyrie's whole thing is that she forgored how she died, and kye is, again, scared of emotional vulnerability. kye learns about kyrie's death from a stranger who went to her school; after A Situation takes place kye opens up about their death & then finally tells kyrie about hers. since they know each other's worst traumas and kyrie has actually seen kye upset, im pretty comfortable with saying kyrie 100% knows the True Kye

#asks <3 #SORRY THIS IS LONG ASKLDDF I LIKE MY LITTLE SILLY GUYS OK.#suicide ment

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matchamabs · 1 year

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i have the worst hangover of all time so im mass posting my hc doodles from the past few days ive been spitballing with @addoration for crow family. im gonna just. stick info under the read more bc u know ;)

big diff from me giving him a shit dad tbh. here’s my dumbass hc for romanian crow and his family ig.

mama: is mama. worlds biggest ballbuster, busybody, chain smoker and wielder of sandals and teatowels. milfy n she knows it. no shame.

draga: oldest sister of 25. runs an auction house in london but comes home every now and then. moody. speaks little english. mama’s gossip partner.

tinkara: middlest sister of 21. sensible. competitive figure skater. doesn’t talk much but cares a great deal. bit shy

itsana: youngest sister of 19. smart alec and graduate also living in london. speaks the best english next to crow. meddlesome. put crayons up her brothers nose when he was a baby just because she could

house is a fucking nightmare for a boy living with a mostly matriarchal family lmao. they moved when he was v small. his london accent comes from learning english by watching eastenders. creeped out a Lot of kids by being new and quiet but once he got the hang of talking, he sorta just. bust out and decided it was his turf now lmao.

#professor layton #Professor Layton and The Last Specter #pl crow #pl black ravens #crow mama

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xshimaeraxx · 2 months

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being cupioromantic sucks dick, and here’s why (says i, a cupioromantic)

Before ya’ll shout at me in the tags n shit: i am, myself, cupioromantic. I am saying this bc this is how i, personally feel abt being cupioromantic, and why its so goddamned depressing (at least for me).

Being cupioromantic, for me, is like a constant battle of wills, almost. It contradicts itself, over and over and over, even though i know- logically, that being cupioromantic isnt a contradiction. It just sucks ass.

for anyone who doesnt know: cupioromantic is (quoting google here btw) “describ[ing] a person who wants a romantic relationship, but does not feel romantic attraction”. Which, um, FUCKING SUCKS.

bc i aint never gonna have a partner. The fact im aegosexual (or js ace or acespec in more simple terms) js makes that harder, bc i aint never gonna have sex, least not voluntarily. So i cant feel for my partner romantically, which is what like 80% of the world is looking for in a partner, and i cant have sex either, bc i js dont feel that way for ppl. And i never will. (Refering to both sexual attraction & romantic attraction here btw).

so that takes out all my options. Bc i can love people, yes, but not in the way that (most, nearly all) ppl want. But i dont wanna be alone til the end of my days, so where does that leave me?

bc, sure, ill have friends & family & hopefully a cat or two bc, yes, i am a crazy cat person. I actually currently have a cat rn, actually. (His names Bear, hes a black cat & i love him w/ all my heart, but still, my point stands). But i want a partner.

i want someone to kiss, and cuddle, and hug, and love. But bc of what i am, a afab human-person thing whos only social life & interaction other then my parents is via online spaces bc due to my lifestyle i js dont have any other options, an aroace who cant like-like some1 like that and who doesnt want to have sex and doesnt feel sexually for irl people and who never will

i js. I cant have it. Unless i luck out & meet a fellow aro, or ace, or aroace out in the wild, which is- extremely unlikely, tbqh, i wont ever have it. And thats not even the worst part, bc being cupioromantic is, believe it or not, a double-fucking-edged sword.

The few times ive tried to explain to my online friends what i want in a partner, ive constantly felt like im invalidating myself, and it fucking sucks. Bc what aro wants to kiss, and hug, and cuddle and what proper aro wants a romantic relationship??

i dont know how to explain it in words, tbqh, so ill do it via example.

so, fun fact! I only recently found out that im cupioromantic. Oh, i knew i was aro, certainly, but not cupioromantic bc i didnt know it was a thing. That like. Actually existed. (And by recently i mean last-fucking-night)

previously i hadnt thought abt it much tbqh. Then, my friend brought up the subject of love. I said, “i mean realistically no one will ever love me”. My friend responded w/ a gif that flashed the word “lie!” (LMFAO).

to summarise, what happened was i tried (and failed) to properly explain what i wanted in a partner w/o invalidating myself (and failed, im pretty sure). Then, my friend said “so cupioromantic?”

I looked it up, andddd went “oh. Oh fuck dear lord this is me. Well, im fucked.” Now i didnt say that, of course, but, yea, u get the gist of it lmao.

basically, the whole point of this example is that being cupioromantic and not invalidating urself bc u js dont think ur vaild is. Hard. Very very hard.

Now, i am in no way saying cupioromantic is not a vaild identity/romantic orientation, bc it completely is. This whole post is js me trying to deal w/ the fact i dont think im vaild when i know, logically that i am. My brain is js- having a hard time accepting that, ig.

ANYGAYS imma end this whole rant thingy now b4 this ends up being 2x longer then it already is. Gn ya’ll! (Yes i do know it is 7:35 am as i am writing this shut-)

#cupioromantic #aromantism #screaming incoherently into the void of tumblr #bc where else am i suppose to scream my woes at?#that sentence’s grammar hurts my brain btw #it is 7:06 am as i am writing this tag #god help me #WIAT HELP THATS AN ACTUAL TAG OML #internalised aphobia?? maybe?#it kinda seems that way to me but my brains only directing it on myself so uh idk tbh #CUPIOROMANTICS R VAILD ASF #my brain js think i specifically am not for some reason-

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weebsinstash · 1 year

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Anyways so I found a werewolf audio book that's so bad I had to share it with you guys which is a shame because the young female narrator actually does a competent job

So our victim today is Back and Better by NighttShadee and, in the beginning, I had high hopes. It sounded like this was a revenge/glow-up story, and the opening was compelling enough. (tw for nonconsensual acts like forced kissing and like forced marking, suicide, bullying, etc)

This is a really long post, I'm mostly just describing the story and cringing and bitching lol. And when I say long like I basically go into the events that happen over 14 chapters lmao 💀 this shit got me MAAAAAD (plus an actually good recommendation at the very end for a story I actually really liked and found surprisingly high quality for the platform c:)

Amira Warner is 15 (already i am super uncomfortable with the protag being this young), being bullied by her pack and schoolmates, including the pack's alpha's son, Erebus (and you always know some bullshit will happen when they have these dumbass names). They all just call her stupid and weak and fat and a slut and just straight up a cunt, didnt expect to get audibly slapped with the c word on a youtube ad trailer but whatever, and her brother is also one of the bullies, but her parents never do anything because they're literally never home because they travel for work or take constant vacations, idk, but Amira also uhhh makes no effort to tell them what's going on. She blames them for not being around to support her which is valid but she also literally quite literally never even tells them anything whatsoever, that she's being bullied OR that her brother is involved

Like literally, she introduces herself narratively as "my name is Amira Warner, im 15, turning 16 tomorrow, im the bitch of the red river pack, I am beaten and verbally abused every single day". And of course Erebus is her main bully and it is specifically said he is the MAIN ONE WHO BEATS HER

So anyways Amira attempts suicide, and while she's bleeding out, she's discovered by three young boys who are her same age, and they basically give her emergency medical care, and adopt her into their pack since one of them is the future alpha of their pack and he can just do that (lucky her). And there's 3 of them, brothers, but only one of them matters: the future Alpha, Damon. So they're gonna adopt her into their pack right, but before that Amira is gonna head home, grab some of her things, leave a note for her parents, and then leave in the morning on her 16th birthday which is also the day she's supposed to awaken as a wolf, but also, she prays to the moon goddess that, if her mate is in this pack, the pack that abused her, thay she won't feel the pull of the mate bond, and can find a second chance mate elsewhere

Moon Goddess said bet IN THE WORST WAY POSSIBLE but we get to that later and also yeah she meets the moon goddess, just straight up converses with God multiple times, it's kind of stupid and I actually genuinely hate the moon goddess as a character. The moon goddess makes her promise she's never going to hurt herself again but then knowingly gives her a toxic mate?

So anyways it's her birthday and on top of awakening as a wolf, today is also the day she's supposed to find her mate and 🙄 of course it's Erebus. He waltzes straight up to her after smelling her scent, all "mine" but luckily, Moon Goddess is a G and Amira feels nothing from the mate bond. Absolutely nothing. So she tells him to go fuck himself straight to his face while he's bewildered she's not absolutely tripping over him like he feels for her, and she even outright tells him he is one of the biggest reasons she tried to commit suicide the day before. And after years of bullying her and telling her shit like her only purpose is to be weak and abused, suddenly this bitch is crying actual tears, "Amira no, please, no no no I'm so sorry I love you 🥺" like fucking Bakugo over here giving less than shit when it's too late like actually kys bro

She literally laughs in his fucking face when he's visibly upset she says she doesn't want to be his mate. Queen. She literally says "that sucks alpha, that is really unfortunate" and drives away from him lmaooooo (also who wrote this, we don't let 15 year olds drive??? Yeah this is technically on her 16th birthday but she wouldn't have a license, maybe a learners permit, and that still requires an adult present)

So she leaves and meets the three boys again and they adopt Amira into their pack but also their family and for the next about two years she's literally raised as their sibling, remember, they're all 15/16, right. So anyways after she's rescued, it turns out, oh boy she's a super extra duper special WHITE WOLF who is super extra strong and pretty and also fucking Aang for some reason? She deadass has elements and weather control and it's written in a very cheesy uh Wattpadesque way and also despite being a victim of bullying she kind of lowkey instantly becomes a bitch upon finding out she's a white wolf, and I don't mean "getting back at those who doubted me" I mean like "since she's one of the strongest wolves it's her job to train other wolves from her new pack and she constantly verbally berates them and calls them ladies and little girls and basically acts like a pick me the second she holds the smallest crumb of authority, talking down to grown men just because she's physically stronger than them" like its very jarring to go from her attempting suicide to, chapter 3 is an 18 month time skip where she's immediately treating other people who don't even really know her in a similarly bully-like way (btw the 18 month time skip meaning she is now 17 1/2 which is important because I think she may actually still be a minor when creepy stuff happens later...)

Anyways, theres been a lot of packs being attacked by rogues which in my opinion are the lucky ones because they're the ones who aren't in packs but it's framed as them being outcasts and criminals but when you consider how dangerously close pack dynamics veer into outright cult behavior like, it makes you rethink things. So Amira is told "since our pack is the biggest and strongest, we're sending people out to help train up the other weaker packs" and just guess where her new adoptive Alpha father is knowingly and intentionally sending her back :) and when she rightfully brings up "hey uh you're literally sending me back to the people who made me try to kill myself not even like 2 years after it happened" and he's just like "I know I'm sorry sweetie it's a real cowabummer :( but ya gotta cause, for the greater good or something, I dunno, do what I say lol, you wont be gone long" and there's a line about how she respects his rank as her alpha enough to obey him even though she doesn't want to do this and I really gotta say, it bothers me how everyone tells her it's valid she's upset but still expects her to go. They even later acknowledge, well, maybe we SHOULD HAVE just sent an Alpha from another pack instead, since this place holds trauma for you, and it's like YEAH SHE'S FUCKING 17, MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE

Just. Grr! This girl is SURROUNDED by toxicity and it only gets worse

So Amira and her brothers Damon, Jason, and Derek all go back to her old pack, and it helps since they very close sibling relationship, they all have physical play fights and wrestling that is very sibling-like but it does get kind of cheesy and stupid sometimes. Like chasing her down to tickle her because she ate all the brownies she baked herself without sharing any? Or hiding snacks? And uh of course they find a way to make this gross too, which we cover later

I also wanna point out, as someone relistening as we speak, she emphasizes that being a white wolf means "i have a banging body and a hot face" and its just like, what so you turned 16 and after your first shift your body was instantly different? While you're still technically a kid btw, just instant convenient glow up? It would've been better to say she toned up after being able to shift and train with her new family but this story is pretty uh, weird and cringey at times, like bending over backwards to say what a #girlboss she is when she really barely did anything or did something objectively shitty

. Like, she goes to train the adults, and a 22 year old asks why she only gives commands but never spars herself, and yeah he's slightly mean like "oh she's just 17, I could probably beat her" and how does she respond? During the fight she tells him "say uncle and I'll stop" while twisting his arm and he says nothing so she just BREAKS HIS ARM and it's played off as, oh its fine he's a wolf he'll heal, but then she's like "someone call a medic, we have a LADY down" like at this point during my first listening I was seriously confused on how I was supposed to relate and empathize with such an unlikable protagonist? Like girl you were literally called misogynistic slurs and you upgraded to beating up grown men and calling them women like, you internalized that shit, not conquered it 🙄 also a lot of these werewolf stories, not just this one, kind of seem to gloss over "oh yeah we're more rowdy and violent and show pda more and it's not uncommon to accidentally find people fucking in the woods but that's our culture cause we're wolves lol 🤪" really because you all have science and medicine and your own forms of government and half of you are using smartphones and driving Lamborghinis so I feel that, let's be blunt, the sheer debauchery and barbarianism is an active choice and they're kind of just the equivalent of people who run around doing blatantly archaic and cruel shit under the guise of "but.... but tradition tho? 🥺"

Also, because it's happening again, really cannot emphasize how they keep complimenting her body and eventually even outright talk about sex clubs and bondage before she's sven 18. Like sorry I don't want to hear about how this 17 year old is "5'5 with a DD cup and a flat stomach but a big ass" yeah and I'm sure she has a magic thigh gap too 🙄 like in hindsight they deliberately keep her a minor so she's still going to high school for plot convenience but then they put her in REALLY gross and creepy situations. Like as I'm listening to this again I'm double checking and mentions of time passing to see if she's even 18 by the time. Creepy stuff happens.

So when she's going to the Red River Pack, Amira's friend Samantha starts to ask "so you really can't feel the mate bond?" To which Amira replies "no unless he marks me which isn't going to happen" which, forced mating isn't new for these stories but im always very cautious of stories that bring this up because it can be. Skeezy if not properly handled. So. Hypothetical strike 1?

When Amira and the others get back to her old pack and Erebus sees her again, he's still all "mine" and she just brushes it off and tries to talk about training, when Amira's original blood brother shows up and she blows him off too, which, good for her in both regards. So since Damon is "the alpha of alphas", when he says "hey can we actually see our rooms now" erebus shuts up and settles down, and starts showing them around. Amira and Samantha break off to do some shopping before they start school the next day, and they happen to see Erebus buying flowers, which Amira assumes is for his girlfriend. Nope, he sees her walking to her car and is all "can we talk 🥺" and she's like "yeah, at training tomorrow, about strategy :)" and he's just so MOPEY, and saying "I've CHANGED" to which Amira replies, kinda cringe, "and I shit rainbows" and walks away

(Also as a side note I'd like to mention how extremely common it is for the main characters in these stories or side surrounding characters to be like cheesy tropes and it's explicitly said that Damon is a multi billionaire and Amira is "at about half of his networth" from receiving inheritance after she left the pack from her grandma and also money from training wolves but like that would also make her a billionaire??? But her family being extremely wealthy would make sense for why her parents travel to the point of abandoning her, but its just a little much. In fact i dont think you can legally touch inheritance money until youre 18)

So anyways she gets into another stupid play fight with her brothers because she created a snack stash with her own money but didn't share, and Erebus sees her using magic to mess with them, so now he's discovered "oh shit, my mate is a white wolf?"

So like, there are these concepts of these people acting more feral like when it comes to their mates, and she's rejected him, but not like, officially right? Like in a lot of these stories, you can officially break the matebond by verbally declaring something like "I Rhiannon Michael's reject you Nathan Thorn as my chosen mate" and it, severs it? Like a magic cancellation, albeit with negative consequences. So Amira goads Erebus and says "doesn't it suck knowing you couldve had a white wolf as your mate?" To which Damon adds "yeah, now she gets a second chance mate and you just have a forever broken mate bond. I bet your pack will die out"

(A lot of these stories have concepts of "the alphas strength is the whole packs strength, they're the strongest with their true mate", so I assume this is what it means. Also, hhhh kinda lowkey gives me story ideas for a yandere werewolf or whatever who not only wants to but HAS TO keep his squirmy reluctant little human mate because his pack is literally stronger with her there)

But anyways Erebus' definitely mature adult response to this is "you're getting a second chance mate? NO! You're MINE" and CHARGES at her, but with a flick of her hand she knocks him away with a wind shield and mocks him saying she's going to choose another hot sexy alpha over him, but then, chooses to physically approach him, to which he grabs her, spins around, and is straddling her in the ground 🙄 there is an increasing feeling of wariness and uncomfortableness as Erebus nips at her earlobe while growling "mine" and Amira admits to it being pleasurable because, im sitting here thinking, why from a narrative standpoint would you include this detail, that at least physically it feels good to have this forced unwanted touch, from a man whos bullied a girl into suicide, what is the intent here, and i quickly reached a theory and felt a pit open up in my stomach. Red flag number 2. And then when Amira attempts to knock him off with her powers? Nothing happens, and Erebus giddily exclaims that a white wolf can't use their powers while their mate is touching them and wants to will them away

MAJOR RED FLAG. So the inherent powers she has in her own body can be forcibly stopped by someone else in a story about her trying to have her own autonomy and freedom? And she's being forced down by a man she's rejected and made her miserable and cannot use her own powers to get him off of her while he's beginning to basically assault her? RED FLAG RED FLAG RED FLAG and then she just, like, briefly overpowers him, and is all "hah, I don't need powers to fight you! Right brothers? Let's go eat chips lmao" like not even joking it just abruptly ends like that, they just leave Erebus to go eat snacks and the next chapter (5) starts

So, chapter 5, Amira, her 3 brothers, and Samantha are all eating breakfast in the packhouse when her brother walks in, and, wouldn't you know, calls for their parents. And Amira is like, "oh, why would fake mom and dad be here? They're always gone?" But sure enough, in walk her parents, with a fucking two month old baby. Like. Its not properly addressed in the story itself so I just really want to rage that these people literally had their daughter attempt suicide and literally leave a note for them telling them she's running away to a new family and never wants to see them ever again and they just??? REPLACED HER??? It is COMPLETELY glossed over and not addressed AT ALL. Did they even MOURN HER? And of course the baby is a girl, NAMED MIRA. THEY REPLACED HER. THEY REALLY FULL ON DEADASS REPLACED HER AND IT MAKES ME WANT TO SCREAM.

Like it is not addressed at all. Amira isn't even mad they have another baby besides hoping they don't do the same thing to it that they did to her? Like sorry in some hypothetical scenario where I found out my daughter tried to kill herself partially because of her brother, my son, and she ran away saying I wasn't her family and she wanted nothing to do with me ever again, I think I would hesirate to just immediately spit out another baby after pretty obviously failing my first two attempts? What quiverfull bullshit is this?

But Amira just walks up to them and is all "what I went through drove me to suicide, so love this little girl and give her everything you have, give her all the love you never gave me" but also like uh, you would think her parents would be like emotional and sobbing upon seeing her again and their reactions are more just, very muted and I think that may just be this author being kind of. Shit lmao. The mom just repeats how Amira addressed herself as someone else's daughter but, the conversation is interrupted because Mira is crying hysterically (vaguely implied because Amiras mom isn't very good at, momming) and, ugh, it's emphasized how immediately Mira becomes so calm that she falls asleep upon being in Amira's arms and that "I already feel so much love for this little girl, my little Mira" like she's literally crying tears holding this baby, and my uncomfortable feelings increase because literally the very second this happened I said aloud "oh god are they going to kill off her parents and make her raise her own sister just to show how sweet and motherly she is" and uh. :| well. Anyways Amira immediately asserts that she's going to be constantly visiting to check in on her little sister, and at this point I groan because I realize the little sister is a plot device so that Amira doesn't have the option of just finishing this training stuff and then never coming back to Red River. But anyways she demands her parents show her how to make Mira's formula and the story makes a point of showing how Amira is becoming increasingly reluctant to "stay mad" at her family, which uh would be the only reasonable reaction to be perfectly honest. But since Amira's hands are busy feeding Mira, which is only something she's insisting on doing, her parents are still right here the whole time, she turns to her brothers and asks which one of then is going to feed her, and of course Erebus walks in while Jason is spoonfeeding her pancakes

IMMEDIATELY "MINE, the only man feeding you should be me, you're mine!

"Jason is my brother??? Leave before I set you on fire, there's a BABY here."

So anyways Amira is leaving and there's this stupid part where they make it obvious that Mira prefers Amira over her own birthmother, sobbing the second her mother takes her back, and at this point I'm convinced they're killing off the parents, but, it transitions into a conversation where she deliberately pisses off Erebus on purpose by saying "maybe I'll fool around with someone" to which he bangs a fist on the desk "no you WONT fool around with a man that's not me 😤" and Amira retorts "I can fool around with anyone I want, because I'm hot as fuck, and you have no power over me" nd I'm thinking, good for her, albeit she's still 17 so, like, don't have her have sex at all maybe? And she retorts to him "go mark a pack slut"

And Erebus gets offended by this, but the ACTUAL red flag is DAMON'S reaction, which is "Erebus, hurt my sister and I'll kill you, Amira, fool around with a man I don't approve of, and I'll MAKE YOU WATCH AS I BREAK EVERY BONE IN HIS BODY. Understand?"

Oh, so, you mean to tell me that the brother figure who saved her from dying who has only known her for two years is also beginning to show signs of being possessive and controlling towards her in a potentially not platonic way? Ok. Ok. Red flag. Red flag for sure. Like genuinely the reason I'm going into so much detail is the sheer layers upon layers of ways Amira gets fucked over and betrayed. Also to take her out of the room, he threw her over his shoulder and carried her out? And she says if it wasn't for her real brother Brendan that Damon would be the worst brother ever, to which Brendan who literally used to beat her comes up all hurt like "w was I really that bad of a big bro🥺" to which Amira replies the title of the chapter, 1438, the amount of times her brother physically put his hands on her. She literally begins reciting the figures on how many wounds left marks, how many wounds left scars, and I remember listening to this scene and thinking, "you had the dedication or perhaps spite to keep mental track of all your injuries to the point of counting them but you never sought help from any adult whatsoever????"

But Brendan is legitimately crying and saying he's full of regret and that his parents get on him every day, but Amira just says "fuck you, if we weren't blood I would beat you senseless and light you on fire" and also the father waits until like the very end of this conversation to say "you hit her over 1400 times?" And Amira leaves with her new brothers while her father starts scolding her old brother

So at this point we're thinking, good for Amira, she's starting to really show Erebus and her old family up huh? She's showing everyone how much she doesn't need them and how she's moved on. This is exactly what I want from "you made me try to kill myself stories so now I want either revenge or nothing to do with you" stories.

SO IMAGINE MY ABSOLUTE PAIN AND DEVASTATION WHEN CHAPTER 6 OPENS WITH

EREBUS' POV

LITERALLY i was listening to this story while working and I went, out loud, "NOOOOO THAT MEANS HE'S THE MALE LEAD, WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS". So I try to form a protective mental barrier of denial. Maybe they're just showing his POV to rub his nose in how he's fucked up and give us the audience satisfaction? After dropping this story, I actually found another story that did that, that had POVs for both the new and old boyfriend and would cut to the old one to show him scheming, so, when this chapter came along, I was DEVASTATED but tried to think, hey, this, this isn't immediately game over, right?

Wrong

So the chapter starts from Erebus' point of view starting off from him walking in on Amira being fed and his internal monolog is as creepy as you would expect "oh my perfect mate, when I'm near her, I just want to hug her, kiss her, tie her down, and fuck her until she's mine" (again, she's still 17 at this point, I know I keep saying it but, not a big fan of the constant sexualization of a minor in what's supposed to be a female empowerment story?) . And or course his dumb ass internal thoughts are about how he's changed as a person, he reprimands other people for bullying, but he's also told everyone in the pack that Amira is his mate even though she already told him no. And then he has this internal thought process of "no, just mark her by force so she feels the bond. But that would be cheating. We have to do this the right way" but like uh him saying it's wrong does not undo the fact he's even considering forcing her, which, well, later on---

(Also lmao ms 5'5 DD cup huge ass flat tummy Amira is also described as having 'a tiny waist' like girl cmon)

Should I also mention we only have a female narrator so, she also does the men, so, that can be a little. Awkward lol. She has a decent range but, it's still "girl making her voice deeper to try and be a dude". I think she does a good job, simply mentioning, there are other stories with multiple VAs, which I'm getting to later, but, I figured I would mention how the story sounds besides the writing quality itself

Anyways uh Erebus overhears Amira's brothers talking about him, and one of them is like, do you think Amira will ever forgive Erebus, and Damon deadass responds "not sure, if she does I'd be highly apprehensive, but he really seems he regrets his actions, so if she chooses to give him a chance, I'll be there for her" ummmmm the fuck? How would you fucking know? Who are you to even say it seems like Erebus has regrets? And does him having regrets somehow magically undo what he did? It's the fact this is Damon who is Amira's number 1 supporter saying this, that Erebus would vaguely deserve some sort of chance after what he did? And of course Erebus hears all this and says "see she's gonna give me another chance, I believe in the mate bond"

Also if there's an official statement to break the mate bond why didn't Amira just say it instead of insulting him and running off. Like. Red flag.

Erebus witnesses another sibling tickle fight and keeps internally calling her his mate, which is gross, and, oh no anime trope, she was running away and tripped right into him and stumbled them both right over 🥺👉👈 and Damon scoops her up, mocking him and thanking him for catching his sister and saying at least hes good for something. And Erebus, full simp mode, says "as long as I get a chance to hold her, that's fine" and like Damon has a visible sympathetic reaction, gross, and Erebus is all "I hope he hears the sincerity in my voice uwu"

So. Gosh, I know I've written so much at this point, so I may skip some scenes, or only mention footnotes until significant events, but we haven't even come NEAR the PEAK BULLSHIT that happens later

-she confronts her old class again and is all edgy and stupid about it tbh. "Before you all made me slit my wrists, but now I'm here to train this pathetic pack" ok edge lord some of them may have just been minding their own business. The entire classroom calls her "Luna" which is the Alpha's mate and top pack female

-Erebus pushes her up against a wall, you're mine, I love you, and she just replies, oh that must be a shitty feeling, loving someone who will never love you back. Queen. She gets away from getting out of his grip and threatening to burn him and then invites him for a formal fight behind the packhouse after school

-she for some reason was going to go meet him alone? Her brothers only came with after they found out

-she verbally acknowledges she can't hurt him as her mate, but doesn't formally reject him so he, you know, isn't her mate anymore? Like girl you have a solution to the problem?

-"the old me you knew died when she slit her wrists" cringe

-she gets him struck by lightning and gives a dramatic speech telling him dtuff like she tortures without a second thought and he wouldn't want her as his mate since she'd kill him in his sleep and as she's walking away SHE'S CRYING "BECAUSE IT HURTS TO DO THIS TO HER ALPHA WHO CARES ABOUT HIS PACK, AT THE END OF THE DAY HE'S STILL MY MATE AND IT MAKES ME SAD TO HURT HIM" GIRL YOU FUCKING LOSER, TF, genuinely hated this bitch at this point, imagine getting beaten daily for years and years and then just forgiving that and even loving that person. Vomit vomit vomit

-Amira decides the pack is too weak to be trained by her just yet and she doesnt want to stay in the pack house, so she's going to go to a hotel, and also tells all this to her brothers and Erebus, and also to stop telling the pack to call her Luna. Erebus says no, just because he doesn't want her staying in a hotel, not even her not wanting to train them yet, because 'she's his mate and he wants her close to protect her, and the pack calls you Luna because you're my queen and my everything and we WILL be together and mate" gross gross gross

-Amira tells him straight up she'd rather die than be marked by him yet doesn't reject him officially

-Erebus basically threatens to hold her in captivity on suicide watch and mark her without her consent "if she doesn't accept me in the near future"

-white wolves have natural strong maternal feelings which is stupid :/ I thought this was a bad bitch story, fuck them kids, she's still a kid herself, gross

-Erebus sees her helping this little girl Ariel who fucked up her ankle while playing and climbing a tree and he says this gross ass comment like "you're going to be the perfect mother to our pups" 🤮🤮🤮🤮

-Amira tells Ariel's parents not to call her Luna and for some reason this makes them sad? Shouldn't they respect how she feels? She isn't Erebus' mate officially, and then he strolls in trying to emotionally manipulate her by saying she's "breaking their hearts"

-"I used to care about breaking hearts until I cut my wrists from my own heart being broken" and you wanna think yeah bitch you tell him

Or so you would think, right? Except no, ot instantly transitions into describing how he managed to shower and is looking oh so handsome and sexy in a tight shirt that shows his muscles through it AND THIS BITCH ACTUALLY SAYS "OH HE'S SO HOT, I WOULD FOOL AROUND WITH HIM IF IT WASNT FOR OUR HISTORY, ACTUALLY I MIGHT WIND UP DOING THAT ANYWAYS" LIKE, HAVE SOME SELF RESPECT

By this point (speaking in past tense of my first listen, refreshing my memory on second go around) I am incredibly uncomfortable with the framing of this story as it feels almost definitive that Erebus is going to be forgiven and eventually rewarded with Amira, which, no, that's not why I read these stories, and you definitely are going to get on a lot of bad sides having a genuinely awful guy continue to be awful but be only slightly nicer and then never have to face consequences for his past

- Erebus insists that even if she doesn't feel the mate bond, she'll start to be attracted to him, he's, quote, "known as something of a sex god" even though he should realistically only be 17 or 18 years old, so, cap, little boy

-the depictions of Erebus touching her nonconsensually, like holding her down or pinning her against walls, starts to become increasingly fetishized. He corners her and basically tells her his preferred method of punishment is overstimulation and, she's a 17 year old virgin. she thinks this is all hot by the way and thinks "anything that happens between us would merely be fooling around" so its like oh great now you're repeatedly entertaining thoughts and admitting to yourself you find him "incredibly sexy"

So, chapter 9 right. The chapter is called "mate" and something about the simplicity and topic makes me think, oh shit, is this 'it'? 👀 are we here?

Amira's adoptive dad decides to send more Alphas to help Amira with the weaklings. Amira officially moves her things out of the pack house to stay at her fancy hotel in a royal suite "that's basically like an apartment", and she goes to eat at the restaurant at the hotel because, the other Alphas being sent over are also at her exact same hotel and, why not meet them? And upon entering the restaurant, she smells something and she feels this voice I side herself say MATE and she worries, shit, is Erebus here?

"And I look around in a panic, and Erebus is here BUT THATS NOT WHAT I WAS SMELLING"

AT THIS POINT IM HOLLERING, YES FINALLY WE'RE REPLACING THIS BITCH EREBUS, SECOND CHANCE MATE LET'S GO. It's another Alpha, Christian of the Oak Wood pack, and "holy fuck the mate pull is strong" so she's instantly dickmatized, like instantly feeling goo-goo over him. And he adores her and they start making up, which of course makes Erebus mad. And Christian says outright, "you don't deserve her, she's mine" so he obviously knows the story between them? But Amira and him are all doe eyed and she even sits on his lap after he pulls her close, but, y'all you're in a public restaurant... ew.....

So Erebus is sitting there glowering for the rest of the meal until Christian's men leave them alone for privacy, and this bitter bitch really says "let's cut the shit, white wolves are known for having more than one mate,and are known for being shared song them, the way I see it, you and I will have to share" and Amira snorts because that's absolutely fucking stupid and Christian is. Dead silent. "For several minutes"?

And then

This

Absolute little cunt of a man

Just says straight up

"I HONESTLY DIDN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT THAT"

The fuck? The FUCK? DID YOU NOT JUST ACKNOWLEDGE THE WHOLE SUICIDE THING THAT HAPPENED BETWEEN THEM?

But then this bitch, this bitch CONTINUES, "BUT I SUPPOSE YOU ARE CORRECT, I AM FINE WITH SHARING, IF THAT IS WHAT THE MOON GODDESS CHOSE"

screaming crying pissing throwing objects violently howling at the moon as I rage 'WHAT ABOUT WHAT AMIRA FUCKING WANTS', like girl throw the whole goddamn man away, he literally INSTANTLY ruined this and he JUST got here. this moron literally says "I can tell we were meant to share you, and I don't fuck with fate, I can tell he's different from the man who bullied you" oh so you know him better than his victim c: you know her pain? She should forgive it because he's magically changed but not really? And she should just BE SHARED? C: drink bleach

Oh and Christian is an 18 year old high school senior so he's transferring to Amira's school so basically every aspect of her life is being smothered with one of these prices.

Amira, literally, overhears Erebus and Christian talking in the school library about how "she's bound to come around, but if it isn't in the next few days, we may have to forcefully mark her"

So like, they're basically scheming to rape her. Ok. Let's not mince it. They are scheming to force upon her an act that will nonconsensually and permanantly alter how her brain and feelings and even her biology functions and basically force her to have feelings for them against her will. This is basically the kind of thing I would write, but the difference is I write stalker fetish porn and not, stories legitimately marketed as romance that's supposed to, like, idk, frame the guys as good, desirable people. They plot about even hiring witches to enchant restraints like handcuffs and ropes, and they're talking about things in such scary serious detail it's obvious they plan on doing this for real. And then they sense her outside the library and she tries to run, but of course she gets caught by Erebus :/ she has to "suppress the shiver that threatens to go down her spine" when he nibbles her ear and goes down to where her mate mark would be, gross, and "let's out a moan that's not completely forced" to lure him into false security for her to escape and create a barrier with magic, and oh, she suddenly remembers, she had a magical werewolf mindlink with her brothers, duh? All werewolves have mindlinks

Erebus is all "Amira we're your MATES, we're here to love amd care about you, but you have to LET US" this is like genuine fucking delusional yandere levels of denial and lack of accountability like, the Oscar goes to these men for the ability to act like they ain't the ones acting like total rapist nightmare creeps that she shouldn't have immediately called the werewolf police on

Anywaya, so in the past I was thinking, ok, ok, this has got to be, like, a red herring, right? How Erebus is so terrible and then Christian is immediately a piece of shit too? They just said several mates earlier, so, maybe she chooses number three? Is there a number three?

Mate number three is her fucking brother Damon and they all find out when he appears to rescue her. NUMBER THREE IS HER FUCKING ADOPTIVE FOUND FAMILY BROTHER WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SOURCE OF SAFETY AND TRUST AND SUPPORT FOR HER AND HE WAS BASICALLY ALWAYS IN LOVE WITH HER AND WAS ONLY PRETENDING TO LOVE HER AS A SIBLING AND ALL THOSE TIMES HE WAS ROUGHHOUSING AND SHE THOUGHT HE WAS BEING A PLATONIC BRO? NO HE WAS FEELING HIS ALPHA URGES. CARRYING HER WHENEVER SHE WAS SICK OR TIRED? ACTING ON HIS PROTECTIVE URGES OUT OF ROMANTIC LOVE.

But OH NO, they don't immediately know it's him, Erebus and Christian start freaking out and when Amira says "that's bullshit, I would feel the mate bond otherwise", Damon is just like "well, I know something I could do that might kickstart it if its there but you'll probably hate me for this" and suddenly kisses her without asking and thats how it is confirmed, yeah, he's number 3 and she likes kissing him, until she's panting afterwards 😩

-he carries her off into her car and there's this whole "no don't carry me k can walk, don't buckle my seat belt im an adult" "no Amira you're my mate and rhat involves giving this relationship my all, and that includes carrying you, protecting you, and fucking you--" she's still 17 and you were her "brother" just 5 minutes ago dude. But she gets horny from this 🙄 and. He can smell it.

-conversation about how she's a virgin who's never even masturbated, instantly transition to "he cups my pussy through my pants" YO SHE'S STILL 17 THO???

-Damon booked a suite down the hall from hers at her hotel 🙄 she instantly starts to hook up with him, UNTIL HE SUDDENLY MARKS HER WITHOUT ASKING, AND SHE LITERALLY SCREAMS NO. She says that he knew she wasn't ready and she was too much of her own person to be marked yet and this stupid bastard replies "no you ARE ready, I KNOW you're ready" ok you freak, you've technically known her for not even two years. You know her better than she knows herself? You know her so well it entitles you to break such an intense intimate personal boundary???

So now she's marked by him, against her will, and he's confident in his decision, and, like, it lowkey reads as a horror film because he transitions into how he knows she's scared but he's going to love and protect her but like he basically just MARKED HER SOUL without even a warning? It's like? That's rape dude? There's no glossing over that? You just changed an extremely huge part of her autonomy, bodily, emotionally, psychologically, against her will, and you're just telling her to chill because you love her and she's initially in love with you?

For a woman's empowerment story Amira sure keeps meeting men she is supposed to love and trust who bring some sort of unspeakable betrayal or harm upon her and it only gets worse.

-he marked her but they didnt have sex, awkward transition to two days later

-they're cuddling when Damon gets hard and randomly starts talking about how much he loves his women helpless, he loves bondage and overstimulation and how seeing a girl writhe in denial and overstimulation

-she's turned on, she's deciding you know what, after dinner I'm gonna fuck this man after we got out to dinner. She is INFATUATED with this guy, can't even focus on her food. She does this weird, seductive licking and sucking vanilla ice cream off her lips and fingers since she figures he's already paid the bill so it doesn't matter if he embarrasses them both by carrying her out which he does

But anyways so, they dont have sex again but its the next day, we're moving on to another really uncomfortable plot point. Damon pulls Amira aside and says "hey, with female wolves with multiple mates, when you're marked by one, you go crazy with the urge to mate wirh the others" ok pause, so because he marked her against her will, she is now magically horny for erebus and Christian where she wasn't before, and now they're magically going crazy because they can sense she's been marked and they ""need" to mark her now? This is so fucked up and unfair, where is her CHOICE, why is she a side character in her own story???

so, I don't really like any of these options, but out of the three, at least Damon will protect her from those that try to harm her, right?

WRONG

This

Little

Absolute

Cunt

Says

"YEAH NOW THAT I'M YOUR MATE, I ALSO SHARE A SORT OF BOND WITH CHRISTIAN AND EREBUS, OF RESPECT AND UNDERSTANDING, AND I NO LONGER WANT TO STOP THEM BEING WITH YOU"

psycho. Absolute freak. Marks her by force, and then says he's going to share her with the guy who pushed her to suicide, like DAMON WAS THE ONE WHO literally found her dying, and another guy she's already rejected. So. The betrayals really do keep adding up don't they? Like it's really unsettling how no one is truly in Amira's corner?

So she stands up and says "fuck you" because she feels hurt and betrayed by him, and there's this, extremelt cringey exchange, really genuinely cringey is the only word I can use, so she's trying to walk away from him, he grabs her from behind, lightly squeezes her throat, and says "you WILL calm down or I will take you home and punish you and you would NOT like my punishments. Don't forget I am a Dominant and you are my Submissive" like 🤮🤮🤮 ok Christian Gray wannabe bitch go fys

Amd Amira gets out of his grip and is rightfully enraged he'd threaten her and says he better watch out because she can pray to the moon goddess to remove their bond, and he just like, isn't even listening to her, and he says, "oh that's another thing we'll have to work out, you'll be a Sub to three Alpha Doms" and she's like "what" and casually he's like "yeah we're actually pretty popular at some of the CLUBS around here as famous Doms"

Oh, so. Let me. Let me run this back. Her three mates are her childhood bully who verbally belittled her and also horribly beat her, some new prick she doesn't even know who is totally fine sharing with the bully and is also totally fine with forcing her, and her adoptive brother of two years who doesn't care about sharing either and has already marked her by force, and all three of them have also been running around performing as Dominants at sex clubs at a professional level to the point of being known as, quote, the best Doms out there, the most experienced? That's an enormous turn off for me actually! Y'all are seniors in high school acting as Doms? Is that even legal? Wow, I sure would feel great to know that all 3 of the mates forcing themselves onto me and saying I don't get a choice have already ran through countless other women!

Oh and then her birth parents die. I'm serious, theres like a two mimute transition between Damon saying they'll share to her hearing her parents are dying. They got into a car accident. Her mom dies first and the mate bond weakens and takes her father soon after, so now, just as I predicted, she now has custody of Mira and she furthers her role as a plot device

-she's dumb enough to answer the hotel room door without double checking and all three men force their way into her room with groceries and stuff, to 'help her', separating her from Mira, and they immediately start talking about gags and ropes, and sure enough they brought restraints and she's sitting there with a ball gag talking about how they've restraint proofed the entire hotel suite "wherever we go we can tie her up, even in the shower"

This is straight up fucking yandere bullshit. And she kind of jokingly says "oh they're Dominants, so being restrained is something I guess I'll have to get used to, oh wait I'm not accepting them what am I saying tee hee" girl what the actual fuck this is NOT the time for this.

So while she's gagged, she's basically mentally recounting how to formally reject a mate bond. It will recede on her end, but the mates will still feel ot "and also become crazy possessive, but they're already possessive anyways" so why does canceling the mate bond basically not have any negative consequences. So the second her gag is removed, she verbally rejects them all at once, and they physically collapse to their knees in pain

Um. So. Rejecting Damon apparently doesn't count because the Moon Goddess has to accept your rejection if you're already marked? And Christian says "I reject your rejection" and what does he do? MARKS HER BY FORCE. AND THEN SO DOES EREBUS. AND THEY KNOW MARKING HER BY FORCE WILL CAUSE HER BODY SIGNIFICANT PAIN BUT THEY DO IT ANYWAYS. She literally passes out from the strain of two forced marks.

So at this point its like, how could this get any worse?

How about God herself personally making it worse?

The Moon Goddess herself winds up appearing in a flash of light before Amira and the three men and basically, God, how do I even describe this weird ass fucking conversation. She's acting all holy and motherly and wants to hold Mira and talks to Amira like a mom and then she turns to the men and then, just barely sternly chastises them, saying they completely ignored Amira's consent, and "im going to give you all another chance, but hurt her again and I'll give her entirely new mates"

So. So. So. Ok. Ok. Even though Amira already rejected them though? Like I thought only Damon needed your approval? Christian and Erebus marked her by force after she already rejected them? Did her rejecting them not even matter? Does she have any power or agency at all? Hey, blue fairy bitch, she already told them no and their response was to force themselves on her, so why is your response, oh, I'LL give you another chance. Bitch it's not your choice? The fuck? Also they already proved they're scum? What the fuck? So now even GOD is willing to sell her out? The fuck? The fuck?

So first listen in, at this point I'm obviously incensed, I'm thinking, ok, surely some weird bullshit is going on here, maybe one or two or three of them die or she rejects them all in the end anyways, so I say, fuck it, and skip to like, the third ti last chapter

"Me, Damon, Erebus, and Christian all sat together in the diner--"

Throwing my goddamn phone out the window. Fuck this story man. Fuck these characters, fuck how she literally only had one real friend this entire story (Samantha), fuck how her agency snd choice was constantly taken away from her, just, fuck it all, this was genuinely like a horror story, like genuinely made me uncomfortable to listen to, like I was audibly saying "but that's like rape? That's basically rape? What the fuck?"

So in better news, on the same app that this story is on, DreameFm, is a much better story I listened to and would recommend :) it's The Perfect Luna and you can listen to the first 3 chapters here here and here, (oh you can go straight to downloading the app where the rest have to be bought with coins). It's got some 36 or something chapters which I find a pretty decent length and I think the quality of the story and the voice acting is really good!

It follows the story of Alpha and Luna Riannon Thorne as the story begins with her being killed by her cheating husband's lover and being sent back in time to try and do everything all over again! After she's sent back in time, she can't talk to or use her wolf at all and has to rely on her wits and knowledge of the future to navigate through her second lifetime, but as she starts doing things differently, she finds a much different outcome than before. The voice acting is pretty good, although the lady does change at chapter 26 which is a little jarring since it's more than halfway over at that point but I still found the story worth continuing. The male voice actor, I think there may be two, are also dedicated, and i think you guys may like some of the villains like the evil Fox King who even has his own harem ;) definitely a palette cleanser for the awful awful whiplash that Back and Better gave me 🤮 bluh. Definitely a good girl power listen uwu

#yandere stuff #jesus this is LOOOOOOOOOOONG #weebwolves

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