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#lmao imagine embarassing yourself like this anon
thatdeadaquarius · 1 year
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I have recently come to the conclusion that if my Genshin Impact account was self aware, my Bennet would be slightly even more unlucky than a regular Bennet. This is due to my birthday and since its coming up I've been brainrotting for the past few days. Let me explain:
Bennet's birthday is February 29th, aka Leap Year. This means Benny only has a real birthday once every four years, which is bad enough. But according to canonical game lore, when he doesn't have his actual birthday, he celebrates it on the 28th.
My birthday is February 28th.
Now, I'd like to think that in your typical SAGAU the creator's birthday is a BIG DEAL. I'm talking festivals, parades, feasts, gifts exchanged between friends and family as well as gifts offered to the creator! The whole nine yards! An entire world partying from sunrise to moonset.
So with this in mind, Bennet's birthday would either be celebrated the day after the biggest holiday party in Teyvat (meaning everyone who attends would be all partied out) or during my birthday (meaning that everyone would be focused on ME instead of Bennet, which is just unfair! He can't even take pride in being born the same day as the creator b/c he was born the day after!!!!).
Anyway, if I was isekai'd to Genshin and worshipped as a god, I would simply give Bennet his own holiday. Poor kiddo deserves a win and if it takes me telling my acolytes quote, "Everyone will to celebrate Bennet's holiday. No exceptions, no excuses. And if his holiday party doesn't end up a success, I will destroy all of Teyvat and then myself. :3c" then so be it. That last statement is a joke, but watching everyone try their absolute hardest to give my adopted little brother the best birthday possible would be worth the fear of the vague threat of the world's destruction in the eyes of my worshipers me thinks.
If you add to this brainrot, please feel free to ignore that last part if everyone panicking over the possibility of apocalyptic destruction makes you uncomfortable. Likewise, don't rush this out by my birthday if you don't have time. I'm also in college and have multiple assignments due both before and after my birthday so I know this upcoming week will be hellish in terms of academics. So don't push yourself, okay?
So yeah. Thanks for reading! Hope you have a nice day!
JOKES ON YOU IM DOIN THIS FIRST BC ITS NEAR UR BIRTH WHEN I SAW THIS - HAHAHA (also timezones r wack so hope i timed it good enough for u lmao)
HOPE ALL UR ASSIGNMENTS VANISH / R SUPER EASY AND TAKE NO TIME AT ALL TO DO SO U HAVE MORE FREE TIME TO READ MY BIRTHDAY GIFT TO YOU ANON <3
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Have a pretty miku hatsune gif <3
YEAH SO U ENTERED UR BDAY INTO GENSHIN U KNOW THAT RIGHT??
WELL SINCE THAT WAS THE BASICS OF THE GAME/AT THE START-
TEYVAT HAS KNOWN YOUR BIRTHDAY AS LONG AS LIFE HAS LIVED ON TEYVET LOL
So if it's your birthday and you have been isekaied to Teyvat in time for it,
or been there for that long bc how does one un-isekai themselves?? anyway
and its like,, pandemonium.
bc idealistically u surprise these bitches around/close to ur birthday, so everyone's gettin in that festival mood and then BAM- itd be like if the spirits/demons showed up irl for Halloween randomly one year, like- ???!!!
so everyone's just
"well we usually have a lot of fun/praise the highest being anyway, hoping they'll hear us thru whatever barrier's between us (coughstupidcomputercough), but now... we've got to go harder than any century before guys, they're actually here, nobody panic, this isn't a drill- somebody fucking grab the champagne- "
So for a second, imagine the sweetest anyone has ever been to you.
now imagine another person does something just as sweet for you, now add another, now add another, now add-
yeah i hope u got a hoddie so u can go to sweatertown when u get too embarassed/shy, bc the compliments??
"I really like your voice btw, this may sound strange but it was always so comforting pulling those all nighter for another akademiya project, and just hearing you joking around or humming, what felt like only for me or to keep me company ;) " - Lisa
"I hope you don't mind me doing this, as I wasn't trying to invade you privacy when I came upon this knowledge, but I thought it would make a useful gift. I know you were frustrated when you came here that there wasn't as much cosmetics so I used alchemy to aid your cause, this is some color changing nail polish-"
-Albedo has gotten u ur exact foundation shade, concealer, a skin clearing serum that works 100x better than any skincare routine u had going/or not lol, and if you dont really wear makeup or do skin care, he has a backup of all ur fav perfumes/colognes that u wish u had in ur old world (he heard u ranting abt wanting those scents/stuff u liked like cherries or sandalwood etc.)
bc even if ur not the type to feel that way when ppl do things like that for u, i promise u will be by the end of your birthday week.
everyone in teyvat wants your first in person birthday to be perfect,
ESPECIALLY the allogenes, or the playable characters
doesn't even matter if your FTP and dont have a single character outside of the beginners,
(they all had access to things like your voice, your actions, your social media, yae miko may or may not have personally printed off enough copies of a book full of any selfies/pics with you in it to reach every corner of teyvat ahem, she means what- nothing at all my beautiful god-)
anyway that is to say, your birthday month is generally really bountiful, both in festivals and teyvat itself, regardless if its dead winter or scorching summer
but for the sake of ANON'S BIRTHDAY-
You have now been forcibly converted into a Pisces - gasp - from this moment on,
ik tragic im an aquarius 😔,
Bc this is anon's Teyvat rn and we're just living in it
(genshincharactersaboutyoubelike-)
You don't know which authority figure to thank first for helping organize your week so you can go to a different city's festival for you every day of your bday week, it must have been hell to make 💀
(rip ningguang alhaitham jean and ayaka/ayato yall will be missed 💧🙏)
U kind of worked ur way backwards actually from game release country's dates, like Sumeru, Inazuma, Liyue, Mondstadt
Bc when they asked if u had a preference u whole heartedly spoke up in front of a room full of arguably the most influential and powerful people on the continent, in the world really- well besides you-
"Mondstadt would be a great festival to have on my actual birthday! After all one of my best boys Bennett, also has his birthday that day too!" :)
...
.....somewhere in the Wolvendom wilds Bennett shivers with a bolt of anxiety,
Razor is confused and asks if he's ok, he gives a shaky thumbs up,
"yeah i just... got the scariest feeling.. like something bad's gonna happen on my birthday this week... haha probably nothing!... probably..."
So everyone's been pretty chill and happy for Benny to be so favored/spoiled by you, esp since ur sharing ur bday (most ppl think ur a saint bc of this)
But for some pretentious assholes, who think traditions should be adhered to, they kinda dont even like the stuff ur changing-
"Oh well, if you don't just celebrate Benett's birthday with mine, and really anyone else who's bday is also mine, I'll just ruin your country ;) "
...
Some ppl get ur joking, like alhaitham would never believe u,
But these poor old fools, coughsagescough,
R just like-
"...an eldritch god is angry with us."
Needless to say u get ur way,
And poor Benny is just like, shaking in the corner, he can't tell if this is more unlucky or the luckiest he's been lol
(He's also one of the allogenes who did not rlly get ur joke lmao,,, also Itto💀)
If your somehow not overhwhlemed by gifts and acts of service on ur birthday,
Benny is.
Benny is for you.
Lol, he's like gonna make himself sick bc he cant just say "No thanks" to all the ppl giving you food, but end up giving him some too by proxy
He cant even count how many candies and baked goods are weighing down his pockets
Oh did i mention you've just like, linked arms with the little guy and dragged him wherever Mond's citizens r dragging you for the birthday festivities :)
While he was mostly just in shock all day, Benny does take the time to tear up and thank you for sharing your birthday*
(*both of your birthdays, u correct him all day)
Jean, Barabra, Diluc, Kaeya, Amber, Traveler, Razor Sucrose Fischl and Klee (and Varka + older adventurers/his dads)
are all super happy to finally see the poor kid get the biggest break ever for his birthday finally
Esp after they saw the last few... yknow... non-existant ones... bc he only has a bday every 4 years lol
Nearly starts sobbing publicly when u give him a present for his bday too :')
And after you all do a big toast for an evening bday dinner, u hug him and he actually cries a little, and he squeezes u back super hard
"I always thought I was too unlucky to get a birthday like this, but I guess if even a god like you hasn't given up on me, I shouldn't give up on me either, thank you for the best birthday I've ever had Your Majesty!"
:')
(Tho Klee did sneakily give u and him some of her best and brightest bombs as a bday gift, so he did get a little singed but he barely noticed lmao)
I hope my ass writing/ideas was a decent bday gift anon! :0
I love Pisces sm, i hope ur bday was/will be incredible anon!! :) <33
Safe Travels,
💀♒️
♡the beloveds♡
@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist
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writers-ex · 1 year
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in honor of me buying...toys... for the third time (using money i got from selling some of my itzy pcs! like soon as i got the payment i checked out the items from the online shop lmao) imagine!!! stepsissy! perv! maknae line (and lia honestly) being so so so so delightfully surprised to find that the cute pink popsicle "trinket" in your desk was actually a dildo they "stumbled upon" you using... 😮‍💨 them just going into your room and being all cheeky abt it while u're embarassed w the popsicle toy shoved all the way up in your hole 🥵
- 😚 honestly have no idea if i should join the vday swap bc idk if i can find the time??? college is so??? but on the other hand having a deadline moght honestly motivate me but everyone's paired off and ??? cillege istg like there's so many readings pls ik i said i loved reading but ???? gimme time ??? anw yea haha how's school for u last i saw you were going to college as well right?
bestie you should lmk what site you use…for research for a ff… ;)
OMG CHAERY AND YUNA BEING SO PERVY AND CHEEKY FOR THIS THOUGHT IS JUST YES + lia s w o o n
like they would be coming home from being out with their friends and you're too into the feeling of the dildo to notice that they knocked on the door wondering where you were and enter to see the toy stuff all the way in you with one hand as your twisting your nipples with the other, seeing you all sprawled out on your bed half clothed and red with embarrassment you try to cover it up with a pillow and get stopped by lia as yuna and chae go to their rooms to get their toys to show you how its done and it's just the four of you on your bed with yuna and lia using a duo sided dildo as they take turns making out with you while chaeryeong has a vibrator up her ass and thrusts the cute popsicle trinket up inside you making the four of you cum at the same time with your moans and skin slapping echoing across the empty house TWT
also its up to you abt the vday swap, don't overwork yourself though <3 and i would gladly write smt for my favorite anon we could pair up together…too… and college is ok in dental assisting class we got a new girl so we're six now… and i'm crying bc we learned so much today i'm putting off doing my hw in favor of spamming everyone <3 T~~T
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bettercostume · 7 months
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never have I ever had such an intense love/hate relationship with an athlete/celebrity/public figure/whatever as I do with Neymar 😭 like he’s genuinely one of the dumbest men alive and also a horrible guy but I’m such a nostalgia merchant that I still love him and feel like he had so much more to give to football :/ I know there’s a lot of other talented players out there and I like a lot of them but idk if I’ll ever feel the same *spark* I felt when I first watched ney at santos/barça. sorry to bring this to your inbox I know the transfer is a few days old by now but it still makes me sad. I hope Bayern dunk on psg in the next CL 🫶
hi anon its fine can I show you where I am:
youtube
laliga being a lil bitch as per usual but the sheer number of videos like this i used to hoard in my bookmarks to watch over and over because watching neymar made my chest explode into glitter. I started watching Ney because my partner at the time was a brazilian dude who was obsessed with neymar and santos so i was like, alright, I'll try. and then I really saw Neymar. my feelings now are all a result of the weird combo of circumstance and emotion: it was the time, the place, the community i found online for fcb. funnily enough I don't remember watching a single game with my boyfriend, other than a few clasicos i watched with him and one of the only nice madridistas i've ever met irl, i know he was there but he's just out of frame in these memories, i was so focused on the game and then the after party, coming on tumblr and talking with other people who loved him and barca the same way. it was important to me. Ney and his meet cute story of being able to play with Messi, the way he moved, his skinny little legs and embarassing insta uploads, the way he and dani would dance in spite of the ire of the spanish crowd....man.
i am a professional nostalgia merchant lmao so im just here to enable you. think nostalgia is an extremely beautiful human instinct, because while it is born from loss, it is kind of remarkably warm. a gorgeous rosy encapsulation of the best moments of something, cherry-picked for your own soothing, for brightening your internal world and doing that double-dip into being in love. for a moment you can just catch the edge of what it felt like, truly, before it slips away and fades into a softer re-imagining: the past, and you're still here. Neymar has been faded and soft for me for a while because I'm seven years older and more present in the real world, not the love-world of watching him, but I still would see him play sometimes with a dismal psg side and it would be back, that love, the embarrassing pull of it that defies logic. so I am also going to mourn this and then make dumb jokes about it and then also get kind of mad at the colossal waste because it's all a part of it. its always fine to bring this to me. what else are we on this goddamn website for!!!!
take care of yourself <3
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nar-nia · 1 year
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hi
i have come here cuz i feel like shit wow i wish there was a better way to start, i did miss u too and lifes been not so good lately
gosh, that sound so dramatic but its the truth, its december already, time rly flies, i remember not long ago how scared i was of uni, im even more scared now it seems
its very discouraging when teacher makes u feel like shit and makes u feel like garbage for making a mistake
i was sick for sometime and today i was supposed to go back to uni and on the way there when i was thinking about the classes with that teacher i got so anxious, i started crying and ran back home
hmm what else? the crush? i decided in my head that all i will do if i talk to him would be embarrass myself so i gave up on that, thats fun also
i just feel like nothing is there for me anymore? thats just how life is so far - nothings really wrong but nothings feels right either
that 2am drabble with hee kinda killed me, it was really nice in the saddest way possible, where is my heeseung to comfort me (lmao)
how have u been, nina? are doing good? i hope u are taking care of urself, ily
-beloved anonie i missed u
beloved anonie <33 i missed you so much and now i can't help but worry about you.
i really wish i could help, but i'm sending you the biggest and most comforting hug you can imagine <33 i'm so sorry that things have been so bad lately.
i don't know how your uni system works but in my case we had a new teacher every semester, and i hope that's the case for you too. Teachers should encourage you, not discourage you, and i'm sorry that your teacher is failing with that. I don't know what the mistake was, but i promise we all made so many mistakes during our time at uni, it's nothing you should feel bad about. And definitely nothing a teacher should make you feel bad about. I hope it will get better or that you will at least get a new teacher soon. And i'm proud of you for making it this far, i know you can do it <33
i totally get the crush thing, i once had a crush on a guy in class and it took me half a year to talk to him (only to find out he had left our school a day later.. fun times). I'm sure you won't embarass yourself but i get why you don't want to try if things are already so nerve wracking. Maybe just start with a simple hi and a question about class? But please don't feel bad if you don't talk to him, this is your first year at uni and you have so much time left to meet someone great.
i hope you can feel my hug and it can help a bit, and i promise things will get better. And it's okay to feel that anxious about uni. It's okay to pull through until you get a better teacher and it's okay to drop out of uni to look for something else to do if that's what you want and what you might need. No matter what you decide to do, it will be the right decision and i'm very proud of you <33
i'm glad you liked the hee fic, it was a lot of self inserting which should already answer the question how i am. I get how you feel, anon, but i really promise that things will get better. I love you so much and i hope the next time i see an ask for you you are already feeling a bit better <33 take care of yourself please, and i'm wishing you the best of luck with everything 💖
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kaveuh · 2 years
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hi, i’m so happy ure back! (assuming u were @chifuyous if not im gonna be embarassed LMAO)
shawty boo thang can i request smth?! bcs requests are open and you know im ur fav anon 😍 /hj … ok so yk those character!reader aus and how im obsessed with yours … so i was thinking 🤨 hutao!reader with petshop trio bcs i remember she was the first one u did 😼 ty in advance!!
— suki <3
[ note ] : IMAGINE I WASNT AND YOU JUST SENT THAT TO A COMPLETELY RANDOM PERSON LMFAOAKA but omg im actually so touched that u could tell it was me
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hutao!reader — chifuyu, baji, kazutora
masterlist | requests are open ♡ | warning(s) : spoilers obv
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m. chifuyu
• i feel like he’d be the most patient out of all.
• he’s perfect so 🤪‼️
• ok but seriously, chifuyu would also get so nervous when he’s hanging out with you LMAO
• especially if you guys are with baji … lord, have mercy on him.
• "[name], please refrain yourself from doing anything reckle—" before he could even finish his sentence, you were already off doing god knows what.
• ok but imagine a pet shop owner & a funeral parlor director dating 💀
• you’d show up at his shop promoting ur fucking business
• "oh? wanna die? here, have some 50% off coupons! we customize coffins as well by the way!"
• cute scenario tho ‼️ he’d definitely let you put posters on the windows of his shop, and you’d promote his while you’re talking with a client sometimes LMAOO
• "about the coff—" "oh! and by the way, if you have time, you know, maybe after the funeral, my sweet precious boyfriend’s pet shop is right across the street from here~ maybe you’ll find something cute there!"
• baji loves hanging out with you ‼️ that means extra stress for chifuyu /j
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b. keisuke
• PERFECT COUPLE TBH
• especially if ya’ll were still in middle school, which obviously u would be cos yk… he’s kinda 🪦…
• omg imagine you two burn cars together…
• he’ll join in whenever you’d go and prank people, and even plans some with you that you could pull on toman members.
• one time baji and mikey had an argument bcs mikey fell for a prank that you and baji planned LMAO
• but, he thought he was safe… baji’s also been one of your victims and it was hilarious.
• yk how he’s scared of his mom right ?! you’d def convince his mom to go along with your shenanigans LMAOAOA
• his mom would pretend she had found out about baji’s grades at school, and force him to leave toman, obviously baji was confused because he hasn’t failed one single subject since
• HE EVENTUALLY FOUND OUT IT WAS UR DOING ONCE HIS MOM REVEALED THAT IT WAS A PRANK HE DIDNT TALK TO YOU FOR A WHOLE DAY LMAO
• then he eventually came over because he loved you a little bit too much :(
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h. kazutora
• he thought you were one of a kind tbh 💀
• kazutora met you after he got out of juvie and immediately he went ???????? bcs u started promoting ur fucking business to him outta nowhere like
• "hey, u wanna die or someone died? come visit the wangsheng funeral parlor!"
• literally doesn’t even know how he fell in love with you 😐‼️
• "lmao remember when i met you after u got out of juvie"
• "?? why are you bringing that up?"
• "idk kazutora it was kinda funny."
• 24/7 victim of your pranks :/ literally so tired of it
• actually touch starved tho and yk that so you always try to show that pranking him is ur love language :(
• but he gets so caught off guard whenever you’d slide ur hand in his LMAO
• "what are you doing?" "oya? getting shy now, are we~?"
• honestly loves you alot but doesnt know why he thinks ure braindead /j
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lovingkaede · 3 years
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I enjoyed sally's mask ask with sdr2 cast can i have same but with ndrv3 cast?
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Here you go, anon! I hope you enjoy this — you also requested this with THH cast so I’ll be writing that today, too! :D -Mod Kaede
Shuichi Saihara
He is aware of your boundaries so he won’t pressure you about it but he is really curious of your face!
The first time he met you he thought you were wearing it because you lacked confidence but when he found out the real reason he felt sorry for you
If you were to take your mask off in front of him, he wouldn’t look away though he’d be shocked but also happy that you trust him enough—he gets really emotional🥺and sweet🥺
He doesn’t really mind your appearance. He fell in love with you because of your personality and he still thinks you’re the (most beautiful/handsome) prettiest person in the world!!
Kaito Momota
He’s so noisy about it LMAO
Constantly begs you to take it off and he acts like literally a child—i ain’t joking😌😌
Though he knows his limits and will stop insisting once he senses it annoys you-
If you trust him enough to take your mask off in front of him, he’ll be more than excited
Once you take it off he’ll give you A HUG because he wants you to know he APPRECIATES it
If anyone dares to hurt you or judge you he’ll back 🤺 them 🤺 off 🤺 grrr
Not on his watch😌
Ryoma Hoshi
He’s a member of “Appearance? More like Personality ✨✨” Squad
Seriously though, he isn’t even gonna ask you to take it off. If you felt confident enough about it, you would and he knows that
Doesn’t pressure you not even a bit🥺
If you were to say something like “You won’t probably like it,” he’ll disagree as soon as you say that. He’s like: Not in my house.
He wouldn’t be against the idea of you taking off your mask when you two are spending time alone.
If you took your mask off in front of him, he wouldn’t think pity, he’d just feel sorry that you’ve had gone through something so harsh.
Gonta Gokuhara
Gonta, being the gentleman he is, won’t let anyone or anything hurt you🥺
He’s probably the most understanding one bahahah
He’s the type that will caress your wounds and will tell you how amazing you are if you’re having struggles or looking down on yourself
Just stoooooop. Gonta thinks you’re amazing and you don’t deserve this!
Gonta won’t judge you if you were to take your mask off in front of him—he wouldn’t mind your appearance—he’s the type that will compliment about it!!
But he means it. You’re pretty/beautiful/handsome just the way you are!
Kokichi Ouma
Aaww, he’ll do anything to see what’s behind that mask of yours!
He’s asking you many questions and messing with you—simply does anything for you to take off your mask (didn’t pass the vibe check)
But I feel like he’d stop if you told him to- THANK GOD
He’d be reaaaally impressed by your appearance and if you were to look down on yourself—well, let’s say you’ll be receiving LOTS OF KISSES AND LOVE
“You look stunning and that’s no lie, S/O!”
He thinks you’re so charming, literally flawless. Tell them, Kokichi 😌
Still a perfect match, hehe
Korekiyo Shinguji
Same people different fonts
He’s already blinded by u!! If you were to take off your mask you’d just make him love you more bahahah 💀
Nothing really changes, he just admires you
He doesn’t mind if you decide to wear your mask, he’ll let you know he’s gonna accept you anyways,
He’s ready to tell you nice words and show his affection if you’re feeling insecure
“S/o, I can’t believe you were hiding this from me. You’re still breathtaking.” ajjejtjrkgfgk he’s cheesy like that<3 kthkyhhjj he’s just being sweet
Your appearance don’t really matter to him since he fell in love because of your personality and your beautiful nature🥺🥺
Rantaro Amami
He’s a chill guy but when it comes to you I can say he’s the sweetest one around <3
He’s so easygoing and will not hesitate to tell you how beautiful you are needed or not aejtkktg
He’s like your biggest supporter!!!
You taking off your mask around him means so much to him because it basically means you trust him enough to do that and he holds back his tears all the time:(
Fuck it. Not only that, you trusting him itself means the world to him😩💞💞
Rantaro, you guys have been together for a long time now lmao why’re you so surprised-
Let him have his happiness
K1-B0 (Kiibo)
He. 🥺
He kiNd oF wants you to know that you’re the prettiest human he has ever seen
And if you’re having a hard time accepting this absolute TRUTH, he’ll take that as an insult
He’s reaaally curious of your face but he doesn’t know how to bring it up and always stutters and embarasses himself so do a favor for him and tell him it’s okay
When you first took off your mask he,, screamed because he thought you dropped your mask and didn’t do that intentionally😤
He stared for a sec,, then looked away because he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, pff:(
But if you assure him it wasn’t a mistake, he’ll tell you the sweetest words you’ll ever hear🥺
Kaede Akamatsu
I kin her sm omg
She thinks you’re a literal sunshine and you didn’t deserve this
Neverthless she LOVES you and will let you know that anytime or anywhere!
She’ll support you and will tell you nice things about you if you’re seeking support 🤧
Respects your boundaries but can’t help but wonder about your face, too
So when you took it off for the first time she was so hyped about it!!
She thinks you have an angel’s face, it’s such a shame you had to go through that
Insists on keeping your mask off when you two are alone, if you say yes she’ll gonna be so happy about it aah
Tenko Chabashira
She couldn’t help but imagine how you looked like behind that mask of yours
You had to scold her multiple times for daydreaming too much, ugh
She thinks you still look stunning! You’re her S/o, there’s no way you’d look otherwise!
And she means that.
The first time she saw you she stared you for way TOO MUCH and you had to ask if anything’s wrong ajtkgrerkhhk
And she just says it’s because you look so pretty without your mask rkykyyjhjj 💍🧎‍♀️
She’ll ask for you to take off your mask more often
So you keep it off just to see her reactions and she boosts your ego with her kind words
Just kiss already smh 🙄
Tsumugi Shirogane
Okay but she was fangirling over you?? Before even you took off your mask??
Yes, your personality was what mattered to her the most. She loved how sweet, how nice you are to her🥰
If you were to call yourself mean things, she’d immediately disagree! “But how could you, S/o?... I think you’re really pretty...! With or without mask.”
If you’re having insecurities she’ll be there for you—her easygoing nature and kind words really helps you!
The first time you took off your mask...? *Fangirl Tsumugi noises* She had a nosebleed lmao
“You’re so beautiful/handsome, S/O!!!”
Maki Harukawa
She won’t ask you to show your face unless you mention it
She acts cool
But inside, she’s begging you to take your mask off so she can see your blessing face😤
Won’t admit but she already knew you looked cute under it, pff
“S/o, why you still bother to wear it? You know, you don’t have to when it’s just me and you,”
Bahahahah she’s finding excuses just to see your face-
If looks could kill, she’d die from your beauty but will she ever tell you that? Nope.
Also will kill anyone that dares to attempt hurting your feelings, I mean how could they?
She feels sorry for you and understands you. As her S/o, you’re someone she can open up to and is actually grateful you can open up to her as well🥺
Angie Yonaga
You didn’t even have to take off your mask in the first place because she was already ready to accept you!!!
She thinks you’re already perfect
If you were to take off your mask she’d have a big smile on her face and would give you cute compliments about it just to express her happiness
“S/o, even Atua thinks you’re breathtaking!” Yeah, and by compliments I mean she conveys compliments told by Atua.
They’re her true thoughts
She thinks you’re so precious you even inspire her to do more art ✨✨ Whenever you are around she feels herself filled with passion
Since you make her feel at her best, she’ll do the same for you. Her favorite thing to do is planting kisses on your face.
Himiko Yumeno
At first she might look as if she isn’t really interested about your appearance
But that’s just her nature. She’s actually curious in her own unique way but doesn’t know how to bring that up
Even though compliments from her are rare, they always make you feel better about yourself because they’re coming from HER
But how she wants to see your face? She’ll probably say stuff like her magic can cure your face or something like that lmao
But when you actually take it off, she just forgot her words
“Your face doesn’t need my magic, S/o. It’s already perfect.”
You’re like: 💆‍♀️
But at the same time: 🥺
Kirumi Tojo
As the amazing person you are, your mood being as amazing as you are is one of her priorities
So if you’re feeling down, she’ll be there for you until you’re feeling better
Holding you, cuddling, telling you nice words etc.
You’re someone she can be relaxed around, so she wants you to feel the same
So she’ll politely ask you to take off your mask when she’s around you, which you’ll agree after thinking a little about it
She doesn’t judge you and she’s down to do anything to tell you she appreciates your existence
Which makes you feel a lot better about yourself
“S/O, please know that I’m here for you anytime. And know that you’re pretty.”
Miu Iruma
Hahahah this girl
This girl wanted to see you so much that she literally kneeled down and cried to you
Seeing her like this, you played along a bit more, it was fun seeing her cry like that
“Okay, okay, stop. But don’t freak out, okay...?”
She didn’t get what you exactly mean. Did you look bad??
When you took off your mask she was even more confused. Because there stood you that looked as much as pretty as her???
No! She can’t drool over you now!
“What?! You’ve been hiding this from me? What’s wrong with you, S/O? You’re so hot!”
And she boosts your ego like that even when you don’t need it
If nobody got you, Miu got you, amen
Aahhh this took so long aıekfgkrkfgkkhj REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!! And you can always dm me if you want!! :) -Mod Kaede
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batarangsoundsdumb · 3 years
Text
hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .
if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation
Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh
this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.
Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries 
i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho
speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible
tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist. 
Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏
how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???
'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right?? 
about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.
you are the only funny person on this hellsite
how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.
Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)
check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)
dick grayson but he's nicki minaj
his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless...... 
Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol
you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link
...
why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.
Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery
ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.
i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD
THANK YOU
bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.
people tend to do it in the bathtub.
WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns
i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think
lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.
if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk
i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.
saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3
literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.
I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.
fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)
It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece
OH my god dude lmao
there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more
it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :((((  )
i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)
shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.
Wait, hear me out
Bernothy @redlightofdawn
great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname
Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?
Wait no, I regret sending that ask
these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.
crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-
WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY
Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol
she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.
Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god
lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.
Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like
send to me or lose a toe
🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋
thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/
⬆️
This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.
Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow 
fanksss also lmao.
That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but
There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?
oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.
"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure
yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.
I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!
haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.
Doot doot!
noot noot
I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me
lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.
sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"
lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing 
(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”
yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.
so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side
i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’
ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.
wow. the IMPACT.
Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝
this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.
Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.
May I ask where your username originates from?
yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.
yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim
no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho) 
How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited
fenomenal next question.
Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that
(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)
i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts
You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel
you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.
Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main 
he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.
Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.
lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy
stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀
oh yes it is my darling.
did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily
no he did it bc fuck the french.
im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist
okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.
your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue
i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.
suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩
sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.
Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit
yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW
Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics
clark reads smut confirmeeed
NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM 
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector
that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.
One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy
literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.
superfam and batfam associations??
-batman and superman
-dick/barabara and supergirl?
-conner and tim
-jon and damian
pls enlighten me I am confused
nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl
I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)
sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.
good human what are your pronouns?
wouldn’t you like to know?
I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes
everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont
don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily
dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants
Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.
damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo
Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨
stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!
All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet 
batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.
I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this
vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.
seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go
emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet
People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.
dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME
dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet
all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise
bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves
thoughts on teen titans and young justice
haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!
ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them
log off tumblr?
Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc
huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.
I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something
fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.
lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh 
unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right
why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf
idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)
There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.
all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you
is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa
no. find her as owa owa as you want.
aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:
1. tim
2. Steph
3. dick
4. Duke
5. the rest
you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED
oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs
i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.
dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.
super random but
jason 🤝 damian
old english
lmao fair enough.
tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.
yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.
I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.
i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.
so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?
no. dunkin donuts all the way
One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker
now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao
my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context
bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.
crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown
SO CRAZY HUH?
batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink
absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.
unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator
dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.
When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution
bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.
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barsformars · 4 years
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reaction: pirate!ateez seeing y/n dolled up for the first time
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a/n : ok im really about to use the same roles as my first pirateez au post 😭 so you can check it out here if you wanna get to know pirateez better, thanks to anon for requesting this ❤️❤️ hope you enjoy this
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it had been months out in sea but y'all were finally returning home from the voyage. Mingi had offered his mansion (ahem yes he's filthy rich, that's how he got to go to school and become a doctor) for everyone to come and celebrate the safe return home. Since there was a formal dress code, you had to doll yourself up, surprising everyone with how good you looked, especially ()
Seonghwa
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SMITTEN. He was almost shy even? No more intimidating quartermaster hwa, he was soooooo whipped for you that he couldn't even maintain eye contact for long before he felt his heart flutter and had to look away. It was almost as if he was a completely different person lmao so you would try to tease him for that. But of course, he would snap back into his sexy quartermaster hwa persona to kiss you to teach you a lesson if you started teasing way too much.
Hongjoong
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Hongjoong would be one to try and make your heart flutter so that you wouldn't notice how much you made his but he fails anyways. imagine being san in the gif He can't help but burst into a smile when he saw you because you just looked so stunning and he thinks he's the luckiest person on Earth to be able to call you his. There's that but I also feel like he would run away everytime you were approaching because he didn't want to melt in front of everyone, confusing you a little because does he really like you or not???
Yunho
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Constantly telling you how you look so damn good, and teasing you all like "damnnnnnnn, I can't believe you had the potential to look this good, I have really good taste in people" he won't stop looking at you and his mouth is always slightly parted because he's always gasping everytime he sees you at a different angle. Yunho would be the type to embarrass you too, like he would be dragging you everywhere and exclaiming "LOOK AT MY BABY, LOOK AT MY BABY, SO GORGEOUS! Y'ALL ARE JEALOUS! shut up yunho you're embarassing me :"(
Yeosang
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Exactly what joong is trying to be. An unintentionally confident flirt. Yeosang would be staring at you because of how jaw dropping you looked but he just looked so handsome too that you just couldn't stop blushing. And as if that wasn't enough, he would always remove your hands away from your face and lean forward closer to you, so clueless as to why you were even covering it in the first place. "Why won't you let me see your face?" BOY BECAUSE YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL
San
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If it was even possible, he fell even deeper in love with you. Constant heart eyes (just like the gif above) just following you wherever you went but would be to shy to tell you up front that you looked good. He would be gushing over you to all his friends but Seonghwa would get fed up and eventually push him to you and repeated everything he said teasingly "EUFHDBBSBD LOOK AT Y/N, GOD REALLY OUTDID HIMSELF, AAAAAAAAAAAAA SO PRETTY SO BEAUTIFUL SO PERFECT"
Mingi
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SHAMELESS TEASE. Constantly winking at you the whole night and sneaking up on you to plant kisses on your cheeks. He's even more confident now than he was back on board because he's at home and he thinks he can do whatever he wants with your heart. Literally dying on the inside from how good you look though.
Wooyoung
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Wooyoung would tried to play it cool like you would ask him how you looked that night and he would be all like "ehhh.......you look alright, im hotter" but you can tell he's lying about the first part because whenever you turn to him you catch him whipping his head elsewhere, pretending that he was just combing through his hair.
Jongho
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He would be similar to Wooyoung but less 'mean' and also much more obvious. When you asked him whether you looked good he just gave you a shrug. Through the night you just keep catching him smiling at from the corner of your eye before turning away and putting on a poker face everytime someone called out to him. People would ask him what he was smiling at and he would just give the nervous fake laughter and be like "remember when i almost died that one time, ha ha, yea i was thinking about that, it's kinda funny isn't it."
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alo-piss-trancy · 3 years
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okay, i just sent you what i have so far for chapter two of the jade fic through the submit post thing. it's actually not as bad as i remembered, lol 😅 it picks up from before the flashback that started at the beginning of the first chapter. feel free to edit, add on, and post it, if you'd like to. i have it set up so the h/c part will be jori friendship, but you could easily make it borade if you so desire.
OH MY GOD ANON I LOVED YOUR FIC!!! LIKE ABSOLUTELY L O V E D IT!!! YES IT IS BETTER THAN U REMEMBERED BECAUSE IT'S REALLY REALLY GOOD AND YOU SHOULD HAVE MORE CONFIDENCE IN YOURSELF 💛💛💛
I actually had to like, put it down for a few minutes at the wetting scene and just like, stare at the ceiling before I could gain the courage to keep reading, that second-hand embarrassment is SO STRONG oh my god my face was pure red aldkglhl (and just to clarify I 100 percent mean that as a compliment!!! Like it was so well-written and emotional I needed a moment to not die for poor J/ade akdkcl, Top Tier gut reaction to this fic, can't wait to reread it a zillion times and get that gut punch again RIP. IN FRONT OF ALL FIVE OF THEM JFC THAT'S SO MUCH MEANER THAN WHAT I HAD PLANNED TBH, YOU'RE A LOWKEY SADIST AND I LOVE IT)
Why could I picture that C/at-R/obbie-A/ndre bit so clearly lmao, the store excuse was so in character and them having to drag poor A/ndre out bc he didn't get it was so funny. It was right in line with the show's gags XD
The comfort and fluff in this was so sweet and cute oh my goodness 😭 T/ori crying out of embarassment/sympathy for J/ade is such a T/ori think to do akfkhl bless her heart 💛 And B/eck hhhh he felt so bad and this is all so comforting/humiliating for J/ade, you're gonna kill me with this fluff it's SO GOOD
AND THE TEXTING IDEA
I'M EMBARRASSED TO SAY MUCH LIKE POOR J/ADE I WAS ALSO TOO DUMB TO THINK OF THAT LMAO
IT COULD HAVE SAVED HER SO MUCH SUFFERING GOOD LORD c':
I'm lowkey wheezing over that line about saying emojis aloud XD B/eck don't you know? As the main character T/ori has all kinds of amazing powers~ (but lol i love it ngl. I was admittedly squinting trying to figure out what it is too pfft. A planner/calendar? But also if u lean back really far it does kind of almost look like a toilet lmao, is that why u picked it? )
OH MY GOD THAT LAST LINE
J/ADE HONEY I'M SO SORRY FOR LAUGHING AT THE WORST DAY OF YOUR LIFE BUT RIP
Actually one of my favourite things in omo fics (because I love Maximum Embarrassment before they get that sweet sweet fluffy comfort) is that one last awkward kick when they're already down and emotionally wounded, so that was perfect lmao
~~~
Anon istg I really don't even know what I could add or edit for what you have so far, it's like, Completely Perfect as is akdkglkl. 💛💛💛 This fic is such a treasure!!!! And a much better conclusion than my half baked idea lmao (like literally all I had planned was T/ori finds out/witnesses it this time. But I had NO PLAN on how to actually go through with it, much less deal with the other characters so really this is PERFECT. I honestly wouldn't change anything).
Like if I added anything I guess I could give the h/c with T/ori and B/eck a shot just because the potential awkwardness of what you set up has me so curious lmao. I can only imagine c': Did you have any ideas already in mind for how that was gonna go?
But I'm gonna have to think on it for a bit because my brain is like, just pure mush right now from absorbing all this awesomeness lol, seriously I'm gonna reread this SO MANY TIMES 👀👌
I really don't know what to do with it later as far as posting goes tbh, I'll have to read up on how tumblr submissions work before I touch it~ :0c Although if it's possible to copy-paste, would you maybe be okay with me uploading it as the Official Second Chapter of the fic on AO3? With full credit to you of course! (I could just mention an anon wrote it, or since you already made this throwaway tumblr I could link back to that?)
If you're not alright with that by all means tell me and I won't, and it can just stay in my inbox or something! But even if I wasn't biased about this fic I can genuinely say it's very enjoyable and should be preserved! 💛
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your mind is still reeling from the explanation, from the idea that, while they share a body, this isn’t ray. you know you’re not supposed to, that there’s more pressing things to worry about, but you’re just a bit distracted by how good she looks like this, bright lipstick and dark eyes. staring straight into them feels like being too close to a fire, you can’t look away either. how would her lipstick look smeared against your skin…?
“why do you look at me like that? you’re supposed to be scared.” her voice is low and lips are curled into a sneer, making you feel even smaller than before. you’re a cornered animal, against the wall with one of her arms keeping you in your spot. but, god… she still has ray’s face. you think you’re going to die, not by her hands, but from how embarassed you are from blushing this much, despite everything else.
“what?! are you too stupid to answer?!” she doesn’t give you the time to respond. her nails dig into your skin as she grabs you by the chin, pulling your face closer. she squints as she observes before recognition takes a dangerous glint in her eyes.
“you freak.” she spits out the word like it’s poison on her lips. saeran is still close, way too close, the air passing her lips as she speaks ghosting against your lips. “you like this, huh? you like being shoved around like you mean nothing? i think im going to vomit.” despite her words, her smile tells you this is the most amused she’s been the entire time. her smile is plain cruel without a hint of kindness and it borders on painful to see. you could’ve never imagined her wearing such an expression.
“i’m not-!” her nails tighten their hold and you choke on the rest of the words.
“liar.” it’s an angry hiss, though she still smiles. she moves back, though not loosening her hold yet, and you can breathe again. “poor, poor ray… that idiot was so ready to devote herself to you- and all it takes is being shoved around for you to forget all about her, hm?…” the jab at ray, the woman you love, throws more fuel to your fire than any insult aimed at yourself could.
you grab onto the fingers on your chin, yanking them down and getting in her face. “you know nothing about me- and ray… ray is much better than you could ever hope to be! in everything!” for a moment, saeran is frozen in her spot before she shows off her teeth, using the grip you still have on her hand as a means to send you back against that damn wall, the back of your head banging against it. one hand now has yours in a deathgrip, pressed against your chest while the other has found its spot next to your head.
“shut up! you’re even more of an airhead than her! how can you see anything in that babbling pile of faults?!” she snarls. she’s heaving with deep breaths, eyes wide and dangerous before she slams her lips against yours. it… does it count as a kiss? her inexperience is just as obvious as with ray, but instead of hesitancy, it’s replaced with force. your mouths are merely roughly pushed together. just as you are beginning to comprehend what’s going on, her teeth sink into your bottom lip, making you whimper before you actually struggle.
her lipstick is smudged when the two of you part, some of it clinging to your own. the anger controlling her movements before has ebbed away, now, she looks much more composed compared to you. she wipes her mouth against her sleeve. “nooo, i don’t like this, saeran! im not a freak!” she mocks you, a grin once again adorning her features. saeran got the reaction she wanted, apparantly. “come on. you better start being honest soon, if you want to move anywhere from this wall. i hate liars.”
this is toooooo long and perhaps a tad ooc im so sorry im a bit of a masochist LMAO ~ from ❤️ anon
Anon, you’ve gone and outgayed me. 
I cannot believe you went and took some of the ideas that I wrote down and made them come to life and Jesus Fuck, I’m gay. She’s vicious, she’s angry, and she will pull your hair on the ground the second that you so much as look in her direction and you will have to deal with it. She can’t stand when people liar and when they dodge questions. 
She can tell that you like it. 
She can see it. 
She’s going to rip that admittance out of your mouth if it’s the last thing that you ever do and she’ll watch as she destroys this image that Ray built up and replaces it with her own identity. She wants you to look at her with flush skin and desperate eyes. 
She gets what she wants. 
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