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#lmao remember when they told us we were delusional
fyeahvarchie · 2 years
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chenswire · 5 months
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overdue Episode 11 post
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basically the chenswire part of my stupidly long twitter thread covering ep 11 with more delusional thoughts and I ended up TLing their last scene in CN I guess (scroll to bottom) i wish i had the energy to make 1morbillion gifs but i do not so.. Excerpts from my 200 image screenshot folder it is
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So the ep starts off with a super pensive Swire which was very cute when will my wife return from the war energy
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And then she breaks out into a super un-ladylike run whaddahell!!!! this sequence was sooo well drawn wtf. handsome
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(Something here about how people were joking this part is summer chen because they call chummer 水陈 'water chen')
I like how relaxed the atmosphere was like this definitely isn't the first time something like this has happened, well I mean after all they are Professional Co-workers who do not fight 24/7 (they get into an argument immediately after)
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When they break eye contact to turn towards Hoshiguma they basically don't meet each other's gazes again as they take turns to glare at each other its insane... Also Swire saying she should take over and Chen needs treatment... Chen you understand what that means right...
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Another detail I love is how at the start they already show her battered jacket/clothes for us gamers to point at the screen and then later who those who don't know/didn't notice we have a whole close up of chen reacting to it...man.jpg And swire leaving right away once she knows chen is fine (and one of her good points. lol. lmao) you guys are sure so quick
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Link to CN version of the PUUK GAI LUNG in Paci Plaza I love how she's like 'Chen you stay right there' at the end like she's going to idk fly over ASAP to whack her (as opposed to just 'hey, chen!')
Here's a clip of the last scene with CN dub because not only do we get 'ah chen' it just hits so different...
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Hi~ Still there, Miss Ah Chen? Ah? What d'you mean by ah, huh? Aren't you a Dai Siu Ze too? Enough of that, don't you have something to tell me? What happened at Paci Plaza… I'll make sure to sort it all out and file for damages later.
Had a feeling they would go with the JP loc's 'aren't you an ojou too' since you know, anime, but keeping the 'ah chen' and that 阿什么阿 response the unparalleled casualness
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You… Remember the Cha Chaan Teng at Sheung Wan? Trying to change the subject? The one near the LGD HQ, right? I used to stop by there on my patrols sometimes. Let me treat you to something there next time. Hmm~ If we go there… I want a steak tomato and egg burger! Wait, no! Like hell I'd want you to treat me to a meal!
the longer pause after 'you...' like she was considering something else before she decided to go with her 茶餐厅 MENTION!!!!! gives this a whole different flavour... chen outright offering the meal instead of swire guessing??? THE WARM SMILE CLOSE UP i feel like im intruding on something
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Then send your bill to Chief Wei. I'm hanging up. Wait, don't hang up just yet! I heard you ran straight out of Rhodes Island in the end. What are you planning? Weren't you looking for their help? Ugh, stay down! Take a nap over there! You sure sound busy. Guess I should hang up. Tch… I'm not done speaking with you yet. Was leaving the little bunny (and the others) over there weighing on your mind? Well, whatever. (We'll just do this) Just let me help you clean up the mess over here.
It just sounds so much more casual in CN than the JP dub (which is excellent ofc) >let me do it for you instead of 'ill do it' (head in hands)
the opposite lighting and angle and chen looking away vs swire looking straight #KINO
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Don't talk like you understand me very well, Miss S. Enough!!! How many times have I told you not to call me that!! Got it, got it.
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You don't seem to get it, so I'll be nice today and explain it to you. Life is extremely precious. You're always risking your life chasing what's right in front of you. Stop doing that. Got that? Your advice… I'll take it.
That exasperated 'Enough!!!' i (turns into a plane and flies away) and the last line... it as 'thanks for the advice' which technically isn't wrong but you know the nuance of uh. kind of, almost, somewhat, accepting a... confession... (of her concern ofc) also CN chen lets swire finish speaking instead of interrupting which hehe... like i said..the flavour hits different. also that subtle movement as chen like eases in more and more between those lines aaaghhhhhhhhhh
their earlier argument was so explosive and quick, but now their banter is so tender and slow like bruh. what. even the act of chen putting down her sword to sit down in a comfortable position (loved that she sat like that One leg sitters rise up!!!) was so ??? the normally yolo speedrunner chen being so leisurely like damn. ok. ok. From 'you think you can order me around' to basically agreeing to an order (Londinium cannon vine boom) I thought Chen being this warm was more or less a delusion that I inferred through in game as subtext (since in game her expression then is usually like her default rbf face...) and seeing it here as 'text' in the show is like 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯 holy shit can't believe i got FED after four years incidentally i've been obsessed with a certain CN writer's fics lately because the way they write chen like a sad wet dog while showing warmth is crazyyy maybe i will blog about it next time because i was legit taking notes lmao
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rise-my-angel · 6 months
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Defenses of Rhaegar are always like, "if you just ignore his in text, canonical actions which include abandoning his wife, that had almost died giving him a male heir after he put her through two back to back pregnancies, along with his two babies to be brutally slaughtered....and listen to the words of *checks notes* Jorah the Slaver, Dani, Viserys, Jon Con, Cersei, and Barristan Selmy (all of which either never knew him or were never in his inner circle) than he is a good guy."
Hmmm....it's almost as if GRRM only having the most delusional targ bootlickers that lie to themselves in their POVs and only speak of Rhaegar in the most vague terms being Rhaegar cheerleaders will be a plot point in the later books, should they ever be published lmao. None of these men can give actual examples of Rhaegar's supposed honor or goodness, just the most vague terms being used to describe him. This is basic reading comprehension, 'consider the source 101,' and a lot of the fandom failing concerns me. And even if GRRM intended Rhaegar to be a tragic hero....he has done a piss poor job at actually depicting that in the books, so I don't care. Martin can attempt to spin this however he wants, but readers are a lot more discerning than they were in the 90s.
Jorah didn't know him, Dany only knows what Viserys told her and Viserys was too young to know him, Cersei only remembers him in spite beacuse she had to end up marrying Robert.
Barristan doesn't speak badly about him, but he also takes his job seriously and doesn't even speak badly about Aerys when we know he disaproves of what he did. He seems to prefer to see better of people and he was a Kingsguard not a close friend.
JonCon is the closest we get but it's marred in purposeful subjective opinions. It's very likely he was to some degree, likely in love with Rhaegar and he remembers him in a way that we know is false. We know Rhaegar didn't care about him as much as JonCon still cares about him, but he's been dead for so long and JonCon feels guilt over being exiled and thus feels he failed to save his life. He has a very survivors guilt view of a man he was in love with and it's been so long that JonCon has tricked himself into thinking that his cope is just the truth now. He was never meant to be taken literally, he clearly speaks of Rhaegar from the point of view of someone like Robert does Lyanna.
Robert didn't really know Lyanna, but lost her in a way that was out of his control and thus has obsessions about her decades later that do not correlate with the truth. He feels like he knew Lyanna in a way that he never did, beacuse he feels a guilty loss over not being able to save her. JonCon views Rhaegar in the exact same way. He knew him better, but he clearly is seeing those memories through a lens of lost supressed romantic feelings and trauma of survivors guilt.
Rhaegar when he is brought up in the first book always feels like a blight. Something that correlates directly to trauma, especially with Ned as he only ever thinks of Rhaegar when he is in situations that he can directly connect to him, Robert, and espeically beacuse by that point Ned is struggling with traumatic flashbacks of his sisters death.
The only thing said about him they can quote is the brothels thing but they exclude massive context. That Ned is at a brothel, beacuse he is looking for Roberts bastard children. He thinks of Robert having so many bastards around the city due to his behavior, he correlates it to Lyanna and then it leads him to Rhaegar. Why? Beacuse Ned in my opinion, wonders if Rhaegar visited brothels a lot beacuse he is now wondering, are there more Jon Snow's out there? And he decides that is unlikely. He isn't trying to figure out if Rhaegar not sleeping around a lot was better for Lyanna as a pairing. He's trying to figure out whether or not there are other half Targaryean children out there that haven't been protected the way Ned has raised and protected Jon. He thinks of Robert, leading to Lyanna, leading to Rhaegar beacuse he is surrounded by this mystery of bastard children and it can all be tied into Ned having this innate fear of Jon's secret being found out and whether or not he could still protect his son should it all come out.
Ned doesn't even think badly about Aerys when talking about him despite what he did to his father and brother, and it's beacuse Ned simply internalizes a lot of grief and trauma. It's why being so plauged with flashbacks of Lyanna stands out to him beacuse he's long since developed the ability to push back such painful negative emotions for his own sanity. Something we see with Jon, who internalizes a lot of grief over losing his family so far out of his control.
I just hate that R+L=J has turned into a direct association of it as a love story, when that theory literally only states that Jon's mother is Lyanna by way of Rhaegar. It was never meant to be a theory that it was a love story, only a theory of direct identificaiton of Jon's true parantage. I do not beleive for a second that a character who one of the first things we learn about him, are that everyone beleives he kidnapped and raped Lyanna Stark was always meant to be a good morally upstanding guy.
Most characters who are intrinsically good, do not get introduced with the accusations of kidnapping and rape.
But gods be good maybe I wouldn't feel so strongly about the way they screech about Rhaegar, if they didn't obsessivly attack people who just want to talk with like minded anti Rhaegar people.
I hate Danaerys, but I'm not going onto pro Dany blogs to scream in their asks about how they are totally wrong. No, they prefer to come to me and get mad that they intentionally read a post they knew would make them mad.
If you like Rhaegar that's fine. I don't. And I shouldn't be accused of writing "fanfiction meta" just by stating general opinions of what I think of his canonical behavior.
Every Rhaegar stan are just JonCon's alt accounts, change my mind.
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duovxq · 3 months
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You had to be there to fully understand the YunJae phenomenon (but if you love Yunho and Changmin, both as people and artists, then it was a bad time for us). We were constantly bombarded with YunJae anywhere we looked and told that JaeJoong is the soft, cute one *cough*bottom*cough*, while Yunho is the manliest man that ever manned (then they'd talk on TV about putting his tits in a bra, but okay). Do I even need to mention "Dangerous Love"? 😭Anyway, when they did the "Couple Talk" with all of them it became glaringly obvious that Yunho is much closer to Changmin than anyone else. But ofc some people remained delusional. I looked it up now and damn, Changmin really didn't vibe with JJ (I watched that part because I remember JJ trying to sabotage the Homin couple).
As a person who doesn't like talking about their emotions (I don't mind fights😂) I can definitely say that it's so much worse when you don't hash things out with other people. But the way you do it is also important, that's why Changmin's somewhat aggressive demeanor wasn't great either. I can only imagine what it was like behind the scenes.
yeah i can see that yunjae was really a "you had to be there" thing LMAO....the personas that shippers projected onto them are so funny to think about in the present day bc in contrast to the manly man image yunjaes had of yunho ik there's a faction of homins who view yunho as a demure princess and it's just like well. both sides of this coin are weird 👍 yunho is yunho. what's all this. the boobs story was crazy though idols back then could just say anything omg
stoppp i saw a clip of them filming dangerous love and icb they made them do that 😭 i know those onlyoneof guys are playing lovers but like at least those are characters with different names....yh and jj were playing themselves from what i saw like it's kind of twisted. is this the same media where they read the yunjae fanfic or is that from somewhere else 😭 yunjaes are insane i remember watching a fancam from tvxq's catch me tour in 2012 and there was this very noticeable "yunjae" sign in the crowd. they probably had to see that every time they were near that section of the audience i was cringing so bad
i can't speak too much to how yh and cm were with jyj before the split but my mutual is of the opinion that yunho and junsu were really close. and omg thanks for reminding me about the couple talk i loved yunho and changmin's it was cute <3 they kept saying we haven't changed....we're always the same...we need a change....they don't even know what's about to happen 😭
yeah....i know someone who lashes out and says the meanest unrelated thing they can think of when they're frustrated about one thing in particular....communication is an art and idk that many people have mastered it lol
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naxcoffe · 9 months
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Hii Ana! I hope you're doing well! ♡♡
I'm that lying anon lol (you can call me "Sara"). As you adviced me I am fulfilling myself in my imagination and I could feel my habits changing + also my manifestations "skills" are like 📈📈 I mean I could just assume something and it happens. I'm so shocked. But today I had a dream, where I got my exam results and found out that I "failed" I affirmed in my dream "that's not true I got full marks" then I checked my scores (in my dream) it said I got full marks lol but then I doubted and told myself that I was being delusional it can't be true, even though I saw my desired marks 💀 also in my dream I was feeling guilty of not getting good grades and not able to make my parents proud, I was being so dramatic in my dream lmao but was keept telling myself that "it shall pass too"
Probably I still subconsciously or unconsciously think that I don't deserve it and in the end I'll "fail" even though I AM capable of winning. Also I think the guilt that I have carried for so long is "holding be back".
How do I get over the guilt and trust myself? It physically hurts you know, feeling that I am undeserving.
How the fuck do I get over the guilt and trust myself when manifesting?
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Hey Sara,
I totally get where you're coming from. Dreams can sometimes mess with our heads, right? So, you had this dream where you saw your exam results and initially affirmed that you got full marks. That's awesome! But then doubt kicked in, and you started questioning yourself, thinking you were being delusional. And to top it off, you felt guilty about not getting good grades and making your parents proud. It's a lot to deal with, I know.
Here's the thing, Sara. Guilt is a heavy weight to carry, and it's time to let it go. You are absolutely capable of achieving success, and you deserve all the good things that come your way. Trust in yourself, trust in your abilities, and trust that you are worthy of the success you desire.
When those doubts or guilty feelings arise, take a moment to pause and remember your desired outcome. Focus on the vision of achieving full marks and making yourself proud. Let go of any past mistakes or perceived failures. They don't define you. Instead, embrace a mindset of learning and growth.
Don't assign too much meaning to every little thing in the 3D reality. Sometimes, things happen that may seem contradictory or confusing. Instead, shift your attention to the wish fulfilled. Imagine yourself celebrating your success, feeling proud, and making your parents proud too or other way that makes you feel full filled.
Also, we all make mistakes, but that doesn't make us unworthy of success. Be kind to yourself and let go of any judgments or negative self-talk. Replace those thoughts with positive affirmations and beliefs that support your deservingness.
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Remember, you have the power to shape your reality. Focus on the outcome you desire and trust that it's already on its way. Release the guilt, trust yourself, and keep persisting in the assumption that you are capable of winning. Trust me, you've got what it takes!
Don't assign too much meaning to every little thing in the 3D reality. Sometimes, things happen that may seem contradictory or confusing. Instead, shift your attention to the wish fulfilled. Imagine yourself celebrating your success, feeling proud, and making your parents proud too. Sometimes happens? Go back to the wish fulfilled (because you already have it in your imagination)
So, let go of the guilt, my friend. It's time to believe in yourself, trust yourself, and embrace the deserving, capable person that you are. Keep your focus on the wish fulfilled, and watch as your reality starts aligning with your positive beliefs and assumptions. You've got this!
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papirouge · 2 years
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"These dead kids? It's a sad but a small price we pay to keep our god given rights" I was told that.. to my face. By my dad. Guns are loved over babies. I'm really lost right now and feeling so sick and shaken
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I've called out this madnesss since a while now.
"god given rights" lmao they are literally admitting their guns are their idols. These people genuinely think America is Godly or anything when its forefathers owned slaves and were Freemasons... Truly delusional.
What's next? USAmericans are the nu Israelites ? 💀
It's really fascinating to the the theatrics of gun idolaters right now. They're now shifting all the blame on the police (which indeed messed up big time) and argue that putting a retired veteran gunman in every school or straight up removing gun free zone would've made none of this to happen...
Word? Did every masss shooting happen in gun free zone? 🤔 Where were these brave armed American patriot citizens to stop these mass shooters? Why is there still so much criminality in America when there a more guns than citizens? 🤔
America has this weird superhero complex, thinking that people owning guns would magically turn into saviors willing to sacrifice their own life when confronted to a menace or mass shooters 🤡
"wHy wOuLd yOu tRuSt tHe pOlIcE tO prOteCt yOu aFtEr wHat tHeY dId uVaLde?"
1) interesting🤔 I remember that the same distrust about police has been brought up by plentiful of Black people a few years ago and the same White conservatives (currently whining against Uvalde police) laughed at them and bragged about #standingwithBluelives🙃
I guess it's a glo up to finally realize the police isn't above reproach now that they've shown such an outstanding incompetence (which price was dead kids unfortunately....). But at least we have the definite proof their defense of #Bluelives was coming more from a pathological willingness to shut down Black activism rather than a genuine pro police stance. Criticizing the police has suddenly become okay as soon as it started to benefit them = shifting all the blame to the police for poorly handling this shooting rather than the existence of mass shooting in the first place (bc it would threaten the legitimacy of gun carrying for anyone, which is unacceptable for gun idolaters you know? 🙃)
2) "Switzerland too has many guns and no mass shooting!!" Yeah and unlike USAmericans Swiss are civilized and well behaved. They don't have an epidemic of mental illness and drug abuse too, so that may explain that. Don't you ratchet USAmericans ever dare comparing yourselves to Swiss people lmao
Beside, Switzerland doesn't have an army and the responsability to defend their country abide to citizens. It's totally different from American owning guns to play superhero and constitutional fetishism. If guns fixed crimes & helped building a more civilized society, America, with all its guns, still wouldn't be plagued with as much criminality as it currently does.
3) "France has more death by mass shooting than America"🤪 *says the person literally using TERRORIST ATTACKS to screw stats* how any more dishonest & desperate does one has to be to argue exceptional events such as terrorism (that didn't happen in years!! and hopefully stays that way) was remotely the same as weekly shootings..... Terrorism isn't endemic in french society to the point of french kids having shooting drills at school...
4) "well I guess it's time to ban knives too🤪"
Knives main purpose isn't to hurt/kill people, I hope it helps. And if knives are as dangerous as gun, I want EVERY MARINE to drop their guns and start battling with sword and knives - old style. You idiots will quickly understand why guns are on a whole different level of lethality & dangerousness compared to knives.
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2004videovixxxen · 8 months
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random late night thoughts i have about my ex that i should come back to when i feel like i'm missing him
not my ex hating my cole tattoo because it's another man tatted on me? the tattoo is done poorly and it's literally an outline of his head and hair from like.. 9 years ago lmao after we broke up he dead had the nerve to say "yeah i like j cole now" ?????????? little dick energy fr, meanwhile, the guy i like has a cole acronym tatted on his arm (i was going to get it tatted but never got around to it) and we took a picture of our tattoos together and talked about how much we love j. cole and how his music inspires us to be better people. (my ex asked me why would i say i love j. cole and i was like i mean it in the way that i love what his music does for me, how it makes me feel, the way he writes and tells a story, not in the way that i want to fuck him) he didn't care. i can't wait to get this damn signature tattoo covered up, i didn't want to honestly but the way i need to stop being the only one who cares!!!! (and not me and my crush getting wine drunk and he asked me "would you ever get someone's name tatted" and i was like "ummmmm hello!" and he was like "i was trying to figure out what that meant" and we laughed and he was like "yeah you def gotta cover that up and do mine") lmao i love how opposite they are emotionally because i need a lover boy heavyyyyyyyy like YES BE ALL ABOUT ME AND DONT THINK ABOUT IT FOR THE NEXT FUCKING 8 YEARS !!!!!!!!!
2. omg i just thought about this man waiting til after we broke up to say "and there were women who were telling me they were waiting on him to be single" like??????? when men were telling me that shit i would tell him cause i thought it was hilarious but whole time he had people saying this to him and never thought to share???? why did he keep so much shit to himself and wait til after we broke up to express his feelings???? why is he so emotionally underdeveloped omfg.. i asked one thing of him and that was to not tell me things after the fact!!!!!!!! cause he literally waited like 3 months to tell me the other half of the story of his roommate trying to fuck him where he said "im not gonna lie her pu$$y was wet" HOW WOULD U KNOW???????? did i get cheated on bro???? bUT HE LEFT ME CAUSE IM FUCKING GORGEOUS lol k
3. oooffff how about him and i sharing porn with each other, well honestly, i think i shared some things i've watched maybe once or twice, but i've seen on more than numerous occasions what he was into and it never bothered me- until i also just remembered that my sexuality was a big factor in our breakup and the only reason i was oozing sexy vibes was because he stopped having sex with me on the regular like we did! and when we talked about it he made it seem like i was obsessed with sex or only liked him for his dick which is crazy cause i liked him before i ever fucked him, i loved him before any of that, it just grew into a bigger love and became romantic. he was the one who always tried to have sex when we were friends.. he's the one that used to send me videos of him fucking a different woman every night... he's the one that initiated a threesome between us.... he's the one that continued to follow women that he fucked and only told me about it bc i was going somewhere they would be at.... i'm not upset or bothered actually just finding myself having little realizations here and there about how much more i loved that man than he ever claimed to love me. and i know this because i put up with SO much BEFORE us ever getting together thinking "this really fucking hurts right now but it'll be worth it because one day you'll be together" and THAT was actually delusional. not saying i was perfect but aside from me going crazy ONE night, LOL, i never put him through the ringer of [making him feel like i was finally ready to be with him and then go and tell him i actually might be getting into a relationship.. with someone else... even though i told him many times it's not for me right now.......... and then when i let him know a year later that i'm actually forreal forreal ready and i want to be exclusive... he finds out i'm still fucking other men... that i had just met the week AFTER telling him i want to be together].......... LOL yeah, i was suuuuuuuuuuch a dumb bitch for this guy like the least he coulda did was buy me something nice! asking to go out to dinner was just too much omg ???? how you say you're my best friend and don't know i'm literally okay with some cheap snacks and wine in the park???? idc just wanted to spend time and NOT ONLY when it came to his god damn music.... i literally slept on an air mattress that constantly deflated annnnddddd a twin size (he is 6'2 i am 5'8) where i basically cuddled the wall AND DINNER WAS TOO MUCH??????? yall????
4. he complained about money as if i didn't have a job too???? but me offering to pay didn't sit right with him so i honestly stopped but he never shared with me his true thoughts about it like i said he kept a lot to himself, how tf am i supposed to be the best partner i can be if u dont fucking tell me anything??????
5. when he talked about moving into a new place it was "his place"... we were dating for almost TWO YEARS but we couldn't live together because according to him it was smarter for us to live separately............................... i'm shocked i didn't accuse him of cheating on me right there because bitch what???? i was at his place all the time with ROOMMATES so u getting ur own spot isnt an invitation for me to move in?????? i can pay bills??? but again goes back to the whole "keeps everything to himself" he could talk about his skeptical thoughts on irrelevant shit for 4 hours straight but the real life shit? LOL K
6. to be honest...... the worst thing he ever did to me was give up on our relationship. he gave up on it because i sexted some dude, no i didn't send nudes i just suggested sexual acts between us, it never happened tho. and this was WHILE WE WERE ALREADY BROKEN UP????? he went through my phone while i was asleep. granted, i did the same to him and found WORSE shit than what i did and I FORGAVE HIM, we had gotten back together a month after this, and broke up again like 3 days later because i hit him in the chest because he refused to talk to me?????? again with the keeping shit in. and then later proceeded to say "it didn't even hurt me" after making me feel completely awful for doing that, cause i dont do that but the way he wouldn't speak was getting to me. after this break-up is when i messged that guy, about 2 weeks later, because he gave me everything i gave him back and he took my key to his place, he didn't want to see me and wanted to talk on the phone about what we should do and that phone conversation went like this "we should do our own thing right now and i can't be mad at you if you wanna fuck other people, i might get my dick sucked you know but...." and what did he do? he got mad at me MESSAGING someone saying my sexuality got the best of me. okay. i only messaged him because i thought we were really over this time, i was two glasses of wine in and looking to be entertained, that's all. but the thing i realize now.... when he did the same thing to me, i didn't give up on us. i knew in my heart that it was just dumb talk and it didn't mean anything to him and that what we had could withstand those stupid messages, but apparently he didn't feel the same about me. i get it, i do. he just wasn't with it and that's okay, i'm not mad at him, i'm just expressing that i think it's dumb how he went about things. BUT this is my last time adding to this list because overall brandon was an amazing friend, my best friend, a great boyfriend, a wonderful lover, talented artist, devoted to his family, very goal-oriented and more more more. at the end of the day, i would not want to block his blessings by making him feel he HAD to stay with me LOL. i just never really got to talk to anyone about the things he did to me because i didn't want to tarnish his name or have anyone thinking he's a bad person because he's not, so hence why i've been ranting on here about him so much cause no one fucking reads this shit lmao so i think i'm done, unless i see him in my dreams again. i only want to focus on the present moment and what's to come, asé
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mommyhot3lbows · 9 months
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living the delusional life: episode 1: how i would plan our MGP ⭐
truth to be told yes i am still jealous towards other batch that got to have their mgp and all of this couldn't be done due to stupid COVID-19. robbed our high school life forever ngl. like wdym i don't get to have a special prom night after 5-6 years going through hell? and the worse part is the school literally just ignored our batch after what we've contributed to the school. like girl are you serious rn....... anyways this post is basically me relieving my stress so i started organising and making up shit in my head to cope. pls bare with me.
time
the way i imagined who it's going to be done is when all of us were done with our degree and internships (and other names so to speak for other courses) and after all people that are studying abroad to be done and come back to Malaysia.
yes, we're going to be super old but i think it somehow made it better because it's like a reunion which we never had and we're going there by that time most of us have already have our own money and car and shit, so its going to be easier.
place
i was thinking somewhere big, like a big hall or ballroom which looks super fancy. like really nice venues. also i feel like the hotel or place need to be near to the accommodation nearby like lrt and such, to make it easier to get there and stuff. and the hotel doesn't have to be super fancy or what not, it's like you know, like a decent hotel like how you expected a normal room should be? yes, that's the vision.
food
honestly i feel like a serve-on-the-table kind of thing should be the way for dinners, but idk i feel like its somehow better if its like a buffet? where you can take whatever and how many things you'd like. considering we're going to be wearing like dresses and look hot and etc, i don't think we'll be eating much.
at least that's what it is for me, because i never enjoyed formal dinners because i used to handle something at the same time so i never got to enjoy it fully. oh well that's kinda sad LOL. like seriously, i mostly took pictures at the end of the day and eat leftovers from food and drinks that most people have already finished and such. kinda sucked, but yeah, it is what it is i guess.
also the menu should be like not too heavy, i feel like western should be nice but idk malay cuisines should be there too. but if malay food are there it would be like a kenduri fgs lmao....... maybe we should just have both choices. OH AND THE DESSERT NEED TO BE SOMETHING LIKE EITHER SUPER SWEET OR JUST NICE.
dessert i was thinking maybe something like chewy cookies and brownies... cakes are so idk, its like meh... or like a dessert cup, where there's like some cream and maybe some brownies or what not along with some fruits like berries or bananas... it should balance out the sweetness of everything imo.
goodie bags
i remember doing a poll and most of us voted for having the goodie bags as like those brown aesthetic boxes, filled with those paper stuff. and in there wil be like jewelleries or like a necklace or a bracelet with calista's name on it. also maybe some sea salt choc chip cookies in there, some pastries as well. we never really eat candies anymore these days.
oh and maybe like a shawl or shirt or like a tote bag, basically just something calista based. it would be pretty cool to do so.
additional stuff
it would be cool af if there's like a polaroid service, where anybody can just take how many pictures they want and etc but we pay the service provider per hour. i think those type of services exist....
PHOTOBOOTH. VERY VERY VERY IMPORTANT.
games
it would be boring asf without games. i imagined this to be literally just us, without teachers, or parents or kids, literally us. we can act and be how we act normally without caring what other people is thinking.
some of the ideas i had for games are like those typical sleepover games, but we turned it into like a big one for the whole crowd. i think its going to be pretty cool. or maybe like a game related to what we used to be back in hs, so maybe incorporated something from that. like guessing what house they're from (since we'll not remember most people's houses lmao), it sounds tacky and cringe but idk.
theme
something elegant. plain b&w would be dull af. elegant might be the theme for it. instead of colours, we pick the vibe we're into. like formal-elegant-hot-people type of elegant. like old money, and shit. it would be pretty cool to see each and everyone's dresses and outfits.
no rules ofc. this ain't the hs no more (thankfully).
0 notes
janedoe-ing · 1 year
Text
living the delusional life: how i would plan the MGP ⭐
truth to be told yes i am still jealous towards other batch that got to have their mgp and all of this couldn't be done due to stupid COVID-19. robbed our high school life forever ngl. like wdym i don't get to have a special prom night after 5-6 years going through hell? and the worse part is the school literally just ignored our batch after what we've contributed to the school. like girl are you serious rn....... anyways this post is basically me relieving my stress so i started organising and making up shit in my head to cope. pls bare with me.
time
the way i imagined who it's going to be done is when all of us were done with our degree and internships (and other names so to speak for other courses) and after all people that are studying abroad to be done and come back to Malaysia.
yes, we're going to be super old but i think it somehow made it better because it's like a reunion which we never had and we're going there by that time most of us have already have our own money and car and shit, so its going to be easier.
place
i was thinking somewhere big, like a big hall or ballroom which looks super fancy. like really nice venues. also i feel like the hotel or place need to be near to the accommodation nearby like lrt and such, to make it easier to get there and stuff. and the hotel doesn't have to be super fancy or what not, it's like you know, like a decent hotel like how you expected a normal room should be? yes, that's the vision.
food
honestly i feel like a serve-on-the-table kind of thing should be the way for dinners, but idk i feel like its somehow better if its like a buffet? where you can take whatever and how many things you'd like. considering we're going to be wearing like dresses and look hot and etc, i don't think we'll be eating much.
at least that's what it is for me, because i never enjoyed formal dinners because i used to handle something at the same time so i never got to enjoy it fully. oh well that's kinda sad LOL. like seriously, i mostly took pictures at the end of the day and eat leftovers from food and drinks that most people have already finished and such. kinda sucked, but yeah, it is what it is i guess.
also the menu should be like not too heavy, i feel like western should be nice but idk malay cuisines should be there too. but if malay food are there it would be like a kenduri fgs lmao....... maybe we should just have both choices. OH AND THE DESSERT NEED TO BE SOMETHING LIKE EITHER SUPER SWEET OR JUST NICE.
dessert i was thinking maybe something like chewy cookies and brownies... cakes are so idk, its like meh... or like a dessert cup, where there's like some cream and maybe some brownies or what not along with some fruits like berries or bananas... it should balance out the sweetness of everything imo.
goodie bags
i remember doing a poll and most of us voted for having the goodie bags as like those brown aesthetic boxes, filled with those paper stuff. and in there wil be like jewelleries or like a necklace or a bracelet with calista's name on it. also maybe some sea salt choc chip cookies in there, some pastries as well. we never really eat candies anymore these days.
oh and maybe like a shawl or shirt or like a tote bag, basically just something calista based. it would be pretty cool to do so.
additional stuff
it would be cool af if there's like a polaroid service, where anybody can just take how many pictures they want and etc but we pay the service provider per hour. i think those type of services exist....
PHOTOBOOTH. VERY VERY VERY IMPORTANT.
games
it would be boring asf without games. i imagined this to be literally just us, without teachers, or parents or kids, literally us. we can act and be how we act normally without caring what other people is thinking.
some of the ideas i had for games are like those typical sleepover games, but we turned it into like a big one for the whole crowd. i think its going to be pretty cool. or maybe like a game related to what we used to be back in hs, so maybe incorporated something from that. like guessing what house they're from (since we'll not remember most people's houses lmao), it sounds tacky and cringe but idk.
theme
something elegant. plain b&w would be dull af. elegant might be the theme for it. instead of colours, we pick the vibe we're into. like formal-elegant-hot-people type of elegant. like old money, and shit. it would be pretty cool to see each and everyone's dresses and outfits.
no rules ofc. this ain't the hs no more (thankfully).
0 notes
cam-cam · 1 year
Text
12/16/22
🎵Song of the Day: When You Were Young----The Killers
Its 8 o’ clock and I’ve been taking it easy all day. I still have not washed my bedsheets. But I did go driving yesterday. I went and picked up my transcripts and handed it to my college. The next step is to register for next semester’s classes. At my old high school a teacher who I fucking hated (story for another day) tried to have a whole ass conversation with me in the parking lot and I just smiled and nodded. I plucked my eyebrows. I get compliments on my eyebrows’ shape all the time, but that’s because I’m so diligent with them. My right eyebrow is pissing me off. It’s all wonky and shit. I’m sure I’m the only one who cares but it still bothers me. 
I had fun with Sophia. We went to Fire house subs and then to the amc. Before that we went to Target. I never go to Target anymore. I got some lighters for my candles, some more charcoal toothbrushes, and encouraged Sophia to get some (she comments on my teeth being really white), some cartilage rings and the actual summers eve brand, whenever I ask my mom for some she gets the offbrand kind because its ‘cheaper’. There wasn’t much good playing at the amc because there never is. I told Sophia we wouldn’t have to buy tickets in advance because it won’t be crowded. Nobody goes and sees movies anymore, for many reasons. We went to see Violent Night. I knew it wouldn’t be that good. We were kind of debating seeing ‘A Strange World’ or whatever that movie is called because apparently its really woke and we wanted to just make fun of it. (shes the only friend I’d be able to do that with). I reallyy wanted to see Black Adam. I’m a huge dc fan and I saw a clip of that one scene playing ‘Paint it Black’ (love that song)
Violent Night was good to see as a Christmas movie, but it was not a good movie. At least we didn’t give any money to disney. Sophia only bought one ticket so we could just find which theatre was playing it and I snuck in with the small popcorn she wanted. It was funny because when we went in there was a couple our age sitting in the back, clearly pissed that we were there. Sophia hated the movie and I said “I told youuu”. She insisted we see it. We kept looking backwards to see if the couple was doing anything lmao
I didn’t go jogging this morning like I did yesterday morning. Let me jog tomorrow morning. 
Its been like 40-50 degrees consistently the last three days, accompanied by rain. If you don’t think thats bad youre fucking delusional. Its been cold as shit. 
So a little update on the bus biting situation at my old high school. Apparently the vp didn’t get into any trouble (i know shocking). He didn’t do anything wrong. Ofc everyone is still trying to make it a race issue. My old high school has always been like this. Filled with mindless fucking animals. I’ve witnessed everything there. I personally filmed a video of a girl getting her shit rocked by a guy twice her size. I still have it deep in my camera roll along with a bunch of other fight videos. I got into two fights myself. Ofc with other girls. My freshman year this nasty weird girl in my fake friend group gave a dude head behind the staircase. Someone recorded it and started spreading it. It took a while to actually get out. Because I remember her confiding in us about it. I wasn’t really close with her (she would occasionally try to talk to me before it happened and I was always nice because thats who I am). I remember after it got out and around lunch time everyone was staring at her and at us by extension. I got to tell all the classes all the juicy details because I knew all about it. 
Anyway let me stop talking about my nasty old high school. I’m going to get ready for bed. Tomorrow I want to go jogging, FINALLY put up my Christmas tree, and register for spring classes. Let’s manifest it.
0 notes
daphne-dauphinoise · 2 years
Note
I am socially awkward I feel out of place a lot... do you have tips for that? OH and I took your tip about Eventbrite and today I went to an event but there were only men in their 30s and 40s LMAO
Unfortunately it is just a matter of putting yourself out there. But I think I have a few things I could help with.
1. I heard this quote "things are only as embarrassing as you think they are" and it made me reflect a bit. I was in an 'awkward' situation with my Uber driver some time ago and the oddness of the drive was making nervous. I started working myself up and for what ? Nothing. There was nothing awkward going on. I think it is important to remind yourself to get out of your own head in social situations. You are not actively present when you live in your head and you won't be able to fully participate with what is going on in your surroundings. We think of ourselves as worse when in reality there is nothing embarrassing or awkward happening. And if embarrassing or awkward, tell yourself otherwise. Your brain is very good at being delusional after it has been told something many times so use ghat to your advantage.
2. Speaking of silence, I think we tend to think of silence as a social enemy, but I think when we try to remedy the silence and we turn frantic-we do the damage then. Silence is better than a rushed comment, a sudden change of conversation, interrupting, a bad joke that doesn't reflect the person you are talking to. I don't think silence as a void or something empty. I think learning to view silence in conversation as a progression is better for oneself. Take the silence as an opportunity to observe your group and surroundings. Think over what has just been said.
3. In saying that, if you are out of depth in a conversation, just keep to being quiet. People don't care if you are quiet during a conversation but if you risk trying to sound smart by saying the wrong thing, they will mind and they will remember. Whenever I am in conversations where I am out of my depth I just stay silent. I tell myself it is not awkward that I am silent, I am listening and I am paying attention. And if someone does ask, an honest 'oh sorry, I don't know much about the topic' goes a long way. People are more than happy to introduce you to the topic or give you a mini crash course.
4. Don't over-think a conversation. Just go with the flow of what is on your mind and give too much thought if it is correct or not. Of course, it should not be offensive or anything. This one takes practice but you will be fine. Overanalysing is a root of social anxiety and awkwardness so just stop your brain for a while.
5. Listen for the sake of listening and not responding. Like what I said a out jumping to clear a silence, listening to respond just makes you anxious and prone to social mistakes. It takes the pressure off you to respond so when you do have to respond, something natural and befitting the conversation will come out.
6. Social cues. A lot people just miss them. I know if you have certain health conditions, it is harder for you to pick up on these things so I highly suggest to take time and actively learn. Whatever works for you, use that tool to help you learn. Literally just google how to act in certain situations. I do it all the time.
7. You are not as awkward as you think. It is okay even if you are.
I don't even know if this makes sense but hope it helps!! And omg! What event did you go to 😭😭 i hope it was still fruitful in someways and you had fun!!
Much love,
Daphne xoxo
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esther-dot · 2 years
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Been seeing some people in the asoiaf AND Sansa tag predicting that Sansa will become a handmaiden/lady in waiting to queen D*ny... like a genuine prediction based on Queen Alysanne having a Stark lady in waiting apparently?? Bizarre because it obviously completely ignore Bran's future kingship, amongst other things... I just gotta sigh and feel sorry for these Targ stans, because no way in hell is that happening lmao. And they talk about us being delusional!
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You know, not being a goldfish I remember the fandom (and some critics too!) acting like Sansa and Dany not becoming bffs was sexist and I will always laugh that just because she’s a girl, Sansa wasn’t supposed to care about her freedom, that the feminist solution was for her to acquiesce to Dany’s every whim.
So, hearing people celebrate the idea of Sansa being Dany’s handmaid…it doesn’t sound all that mutually beneficial, or feminist-y to me. It is laughably transparent. I’m going to copy in another anon here too:
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I don’t think any of this “speculation” has to do with what might possibly happen in the books or what would be good for the Starks. Seems more like self-serving bullshit to me. I understand why show fans thought Dany going to Westeros could be a good thing because they bought into Cersei being the big bad. I don’t understand how book fans can think that Dany will be welcomed or that her arrival ends in anything other than destruction.
Also, the first anon is right. We all have our preferred endgame, our fanon and headcanons, but the one thing we know about the ending is King Bran.
“[Showrunners] David and Dan told me there were two things George R.R. Martin had planned for Bran,” the actor said, “and that was the Hodor revelation, and that he would be king. So that’s pretty special to be directly involved in something that is part of George’s vision. It was a really nice way to wrap it up.” (link)
and GRRM himself:
"I told them who would be on the Iron Throne" (link).
Why do people still act like this is up for debate? We can write fic about whatever we want, but when speculating, there’s no point in pretending like the author hasn’t already made it clear that what they want isn’t going to happen. No Stark will serve Dany, Sansa won’t have to wait on her because Dany won’t be queen in the end. It’s Bran who will rule. They don't have to like it, but it's the only thing we know for sure.
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ichinoue · 3 years
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remember when they celebrated the sauna scene even though ichigo had black lines over his face when he saw her bare ass meaning he was seeing something he didn’t want to and only blushed a tiny bit at the lewd peach comment lol
Oh god lmao. And they actually tried to argue that the lines over his face was a blush and not a sign of shock/mortification? But the best part was how that was literally the last "interaction" between Ichigo and Rukia in the manga until they met up again in the epilogue. That happened towards the end of 2012-ish (around the time I started this blog, actually), and it was all they would talk about, the peach ass scene. They paraded it around from that point forward, like it was some huge victory they had over us. Then, fast forward about two years later to the summer of 2014. Chapter 589 drops. Ichigo spends five pages blushing about Orihime, being teased about Orihime, being encouraged to flirt with Orihime, etc. The biggest, most obvious shiptease/Ichigo blushing scene of all time. The only time he was ever shown blushing about someone who was also blushing about him. It was mutual!! Bulldozing that tiny little blush he had from Kirinji's "peach" comment into the ground. It trumped their scene that they were so smug about in every possible way! And they still told us we were delusional for celebrating it and that it didn't mean anything lmao.
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haikyuuthots · 3 years
Text
You want to kiss me so bad right now. (Headcanon)
He says “you want to kiss me so bad right now.” during an argument. That’s it that’s the tweet.
Characters: S. Daichi, T. Oikawa, T. Kuroo & M. Atsumu
A/n: it’s 2 am and i saw this concept and wanted to try it out. Also if u don’t know who lord farquad is, please watch Shrek then come back cause you’re missing out hahahah.
—————————————————————————
Daichi
You were upset because he cancelled your plans for the third time in a row.
You understood he was busy and needed to focus on volleyball but that didn’t make you any less hurt.
“Baby I told you I was sorry, practice just took longer than expected.”
“Yeah, this always happens Daichi, practice always takes longer than expected.”
“Please just try to understand...”
“I have been understanding! I’ve been trying to let it slide but three cancellations in a row. That’s fucked up.”
He feels bad. He knows you’re a really good girlfriend
“Ok love, let’s just hang out now.”
“Nah, I’m good.”
You’re just being petty honestly, but you did wanna hang out with him.
“C’mere.” He reaches to grab you.
“Nah.” You pull away and begin to walk away.
He gives a sly smirk. He actually finds your attitude ✨hot✨
“Nope.” He grabs you quickly and turns you to face him.
You two are extremely close right now, and he just stares at you with a teasing smirk.
You’re hella flustered and he knows it.
“You want to kiss me so bad right now.”
You’re a blushing mess, your natural reaction is to push him away. “Shut up.”
“C’mon baby. A small kiss. I know you want to.”
What a fuckin tease.
You can’t help it, with the way he’s looking at you. You cave and give him a quick peck on the lips.
He smiles, and holds you tighter.
“I’m still mad at you, ya know.”
“What can i do to change that?”
“Buy me frozen yogurt and maybe I’ll consider forgiving you.”
He laughs at your response. “Sure baby. Anything you want.” He leans down to give you a gentle kiss.
You honestly couldn’t stay mad at him. He was too sweet.
Oikawa
You hated that your boyfriend entertained his fangirls so much and practically flirted with them back.
“It’s so disrespectful Tooru. You were practically flirting with her right in front of me.”
“No I was not. I was just accepting her compliment.”
“How are you gonna tell me. I was right there. You said her hair was pretty too!”
Maybe you were overacting. But you were just having a bad day honestly.
“Come here love. Don’t be mad.” He tries to go reach for your hand.
You pull away. “Nah how about you talk to her some more.”
Oikawa finds your jealousy cute, so decides to tease you a bit.
“Jealousy is an ugly color on you. Ya know.” He chuckles out.
“Ha! I am not jealous.”
“Yeah?? Your attitude tells me otherwise.” He’s leaning closer towards you and closes the gap between your bodies.
“You’re delusional Tooru. I’m just saying it’s disrespectful.” .
He’s staring into your soul. With a mischievous smirk.
“Ya right.”
You’re looking up at him with an annoyed look on your face.
Oikwas smirk only gets wider. He’s fully entertained.
“Oohhh. You wanna kiss me so bad right now, I can see it.”
Your cheeks flushed red. You were so flustered at his sudden words.
“Tch. Leave me alone. ” you give him a slight shove to add space between you two.
“It’s ok love I don’t blame you. If I were you I’d wanna kiss me too.”
He’s fully teasing you now, he finds your flustered state adorable.
“Alright oikawa I’m just gonna head out.”
You try to leave but oikawa grabs you by your arm to restrict any further movement.
“Wait. I’m kidding.” He let’s out a small laugh.
“I really am sorry. I don’t want you to feel that way. You’re the prettiest and only girl for me.”
Your heart flutters at his words.
“As I should be.” 😌
Ok you’re over it now. Lmao
He lets out a small laugh. “Ok now give me a kiss.”
“Ohhh you want to kiss me so bad right now.” You repeat the words he said to you earlier in the same teasing manner.
“Yes I do actually.” Oikawa leans down to give you a soft kiss.
Y’all start making out. Oops.
Kuroo
You’re walking home from school with your boyfriend.
Everything was normal until Kuroo randomly started teasing you out of no where
You were used to Kuroo’s teasing, but today when he mentioned how short you were, it struck a nerve.
“Babe wait. Are you really mad?”
“Yes.” You’re walking away from him.
“Oh c’mon I was just kidding.”
“You called me lord farquad Kuroo. Where the hell did that come from?”
“You called me a rooster head first!”
Lmao whoops guilty. Yup you were the one that initiated the teasing.
“Ok but that doesn’t mean you have to call me a name.”
Kuroo’s laughing. Honestly he’s very entertained, your annoyed expression is very cute to him.
“Wait.” He grabs your by your wrist to stop you from walking any further.
You’re face to face, and are only staring at each other.
Your annoyance only grows when you see the giant smirk on his face. He’s so entertained by this.
“Why are you smiling like that. We’re fighting.”
Kuroo let’s out a small laugh. “This doesn’t really seem like a fight.”
“Well it is cause I’m mad you so what’s up.”
“Yeah? But you want to kiss me so bad right now. I can tell. Look at you just staring at my lips.”
Fucking TEASE
“Kuroo shut up I’m not gonna kiss you we’re figh-“
Kuroo cuts you off with a kiss
And you reciprocate right away.
Your arms are wrapped around his neck and his are on your waist.
As you pull away the first thing you notice is kuroo’s smirk.
“Thought you didn’t wanna kiss me.”
But like honestly how could you NOT kiss him who are you kidding.
You give an annoyed smile. “Oh shut up.”
“So does this mean we’re not fighting anymore?”
“You’re lucky you’re a good kisser.”
He laughs at your response and holds out his hand to grab yours.
“Let’s go baby. I’ll buy you some food.”
Are you kidding he was almost as sweet as he was a tease.
Atsumu
He yelled at you because you asked him if he wanted a piece of your sandwich while he was observing a volleyball game on t.v
Obviously you were hurt because, wtf??? How rude.
When he was done watching the game he headed over to you to cuddle.
But nah you were mad so no cuddles for him
When he approached you and you pushed him away he was hella confused
“Why are you pushing me away princess?”
“Mmm idk why did you yell at me for asking a simple question?”
“Yell?”
This man couldn’t even remember yelling at you lmao.
“Yes Atsumu. I asked you if you wanted the rest of my sandwich and you said “wait y/n don’t talk to me right now!”
“Ohh baby I didn’t mean to yell.”
You’re pouting and avoiding his gaze
“That was still really rude and for no reason.”
“Aw c’mon how about we just cuddle and forget about it.”
He tries to wrap his arms around you but you push him away again.
“Nah I’m good.”
You get off the bed and walk out towards the kitchen leaving Atsumu in the room alone.
He can’t help but laugh at how petty you were. He honestly finds your attitude really cute cause he knows it’s very innocent.
He walks out to find you in the kitchen and wraps his arms around your waist.
“Princess dont be mad.”
Silence
He turns you to face him and holds your face to look at him.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
“You yelled at me Atsumu and for what!!! I was just trying to share my food with you. I never share my food you should consider yourself lucky!!”
You ramble a bit longer and Atsumu is only staring at you with a slight smirk.
“What are you smiling about?”
“You want to kiss me so bad huh.”
THIS MAN IS SO ANNOYING LMAO
That genuinely caught you off guard and made you laugh.
“You’re so annoying.” You roll your eyes playfully
“I love you too. Now stop being a brat and let’s go cuddle.”
“Wait. So do you want a kiss or no??? Because I’m down.”
He lets out a loud laugh. Your goofy ness always made him so happy.
He leans down to give you a warm kiss.
You were honestly mad at him for like 10 mins but the minute he started talking you ignored that cause he was just too sweet.
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firelord-frowny · 2 years
Text
sad blah blah
almost unanimously, people have only ever said extraordinary or at least good things about me. anyone who’s ever seen me do anything, whether it’s writing related, music related, performance related in general, or intellect, no one has ever reacted to me with “meh.” 
i went to college on a talent based scholarship that i barely even had to apply for. literally, immediately after my audition, i somehow wound up mentioning that i had missed the deadline for the scholarship application or something. the entire panel of judges FLIPPED OUT and basically demanded that i go complete the application right away because they wanted me bad. 
in my first semester, we had to work with some local ~professional artists~ in baltimore and one of our assignments was to complete some sort of art project that explored the concept of ~refuse versus environment~ or something like that. We were supposed to complete it over the course of a week and then bring it to our next meeting with the artist. i did my project ON THE BUS while we were on our way to that meeting. I scribbled a few stream-of-consciousy paragraphs about... something lmao i don’t remember. but i read it out loud to my group and then the artist spent like a solid 15 minutes gushing about how ~in all his years of being an art professor at some of the most distinguished programs in the world, he’s never heard such an elegant and artful take on blah blah blah~. 
the president of my university???? asked me personally to come and perform at his home for fancy events with other Important People like donors and politicians and researchers??? and like. this man had a whole “60 Minutes” special about what a critical role he’s had in using education to strengthen communities. this man sat at tables with obama while he was in office. he paraded me around to other Important People and talked about what an outstanding artist i was, my sparkly personality, my ~delightful wackiness~, blah blah. 
Not one, not two, not three, but FOUR professors who were all world-class musicians at a festival i attended, singled me out as particularly gifted. the kinds of shit they were saying to me in front of everyone did not get said to anyone else. 
when i was at Tanglewood, even though i fucking sucked because i clearly hadn’t practiced all the music, all my chamber coaches STILL made sure to let me (and the other people in my groups???) know that i was the more skilled player in the ensembles. I wound up having to sit last chair at one of the concerts because there had been some miscommunication that led to the directors thinking i was leaving the program (i was super homesick and had been asking my parents to come get me), and despite that fact, after the concert, the conductor - who had never even spoken a word to me personally - made sure to hunt me down in the crowd as everyone was leaving, and tell me what an outstanding player he thought i was, and that he felt lucky to have had me in his orchestra. 
i spent a summer at Summit Chamber Music Festival in upstate new york. the skill level among the students ranged from Laughably Inept to Why Aren’t You At The Curtis Institute. I was by FAR not the worst player there, but I also definitely felt like I was nowhere near the best. But the program director specifically, deliberately placed me in the highest level orchestra, surrounded by players who were fully capable of playing shit like paganini and weiniawski and whatnot. When he wanted to put together a small chamber group, he pointedly selected me to play 1st chair. My string quintet included 3 other string players who were lightyears better than me. Yet our coach frequently turned to me to demonstrate the ~right way~ to play a lot of the more difficult passages. And like... I was the 2nd violinist lmao. It’s almost aallllways the 1st violinist that coaches will ask to demonstrate stuff for the rest of the group. but he asked me. every time. our quintet was ultimately selected to close out the entire festival, a la Saving The Best For Last. The pianist in my quintet, according to his mom, thought i was incredible. this pianist was a bona fide prodigy and he thought i was incredible.
LITERALLYYYYYY everywhere I’ve ever performed, everyone has been so impressed with me. directors of major musical organizations have always made a point to get my name and contact info because “we’ll definitely be contacting you for more work.”  
Everyone who’s ever seen me teach violin thinks I’m uncommonly good at it. i mean, i’m no galamian, duh, but apparently i’m able to get students to sound better than the average teacher can.  
everyone who read my first screenplay claimed to be floored by it. i spontaneously read some of my prose at an open mic night and uh, accidentally snatched the show right out from under the featured artists' feet. 
I used to act???? and was pretty fucking good at it?? I starred in a small handful of local plays? i was cast in ~large roles~ in everything i ever auditioned for. 
my talents in visual art are decidedly Well Above Average. 
i have such a fucking long list of things people think are outstanding about me, and an incredibly long list of people who have bothered to tell me that i’m outstanding, and it makes me feel so fucking sad and frustrated bc like....
lmao why the fuuuUUUUCCCKKKKK does it continue to be so difficult to find anyone who feels like giving me any legit career opportunities?? Even when they’re aware that i’m available?? and willing?? 
i’ll have a 10 minute conversation in which a professor or a director or a coordinator is telling me all about how impressed they are by my skills at Whatever, and how i should do This and i should do That and i should go Here and i should go There and then they ask me where i’m currently working/what i’m currently doing, and i say, “oh, you know, mostly freelance gigs and lessons as i’m looking for full time opportunities,” and then they say “cool! good luck!” and leave. 
i feel sad and confused and delusional. if im so fucking great, why aren’t people reaching back when i reach out in search of a means to earn a fucking living?? 
i know the short answer is that i still don’t ~put myself out there~ and i give up too easily. but also like... i have BEEN out there. the total positive experiences i’ve had with influential superiors over the years have been plentiful and frequent enough that SOMEBODY should have wanted me to contribute something substantial to whatever programs they represent.
and since i feel like i must be delusional and that i must not actually be such hot shit and that everyone is lying to me to spare my feelings, it makes me not even want to try harder bc i’ll wind up discovering for certain that everyone thinks i’m trash. 
what do i have to doooooooo to find The Right Opportunity other than reach out to the same people who told me how phenomenal i am? i make sure Potential Employers see/hear me being fantastic. i apply for jobs in their organization if i know they’re hiring. if i know they’re not hiring, i at least convey that i’d be interested in possibly working with them. but nobody reaches back.
i’m so good at things and i feel like a fucking deadbeat loser lmaoooooo
maybe they don’t actually know that i’m fucking jobless??? lmao maybe they’re assuming that i must already be active in a real career? maybe i need to literally TELL them as they’re praising me, “i’m unemployed and i need a job, do you know of any full time opportunities you could point me to?” but i feel like people think it’s a ~red flag~ when a potential employee doesn’t already have a steady job??? but also... how the fuck is anyone ever supposed to get a steady job if nobody’s willing to hire them because they don’t have a steady job???
i feel Stupid and i think that whenever i finally get the fucking resolve to start therapy again, i’m gonna just show this whole ass rant to my therapist. 
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tht-lesbian-fangirl · 4 years
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Do you ever 100% have those days when you believe supercorp is in fact canon in all the ways compared to the het tropes? But there’s the thorn on your side that’s “waiting” on everybody behind the show to “confirm” what we’ve been saying and preaching for years now? And if it highkey comes down to the show pulling a catradora on us with supercorp I’ll be totally fine with it because I’ll just take that as a big fat “I told you so” to the haters. Analysis GO OFF 😚
Dude, you have no idea how many little break downs I have every once in a while because I just feel so confident that Supercorp will happen! Everything in the Supercorp-specific writing, music, cinematic tropes, actress choices, etc. has shown that Kara and Lena will and should be canon. Look, I’m in graduate school for psychology and I haven’t taken a film class in my life. I’ve never even been a big “shipping” person. But I watched Supergirl live all throughout undergrad, often with my straight friends (who were less into the show) and even they noticed all the things that we "delusional" fans discuss.
Iconic Superhero/Love interest tropes
The Hero having to choose between saving their LI or kids/city/world, but miraculously save both. May I present Exhibit A:
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The LI standing between the Hero and their one weakness: literally every time Lena has built anti-kryptonite suits, protected Kara before she knew her identity, and specifically Exhibit B:
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Dramatic saves of the LI: I present the longing looks mid-rescue for Exhibit C:
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The Hero running flying toward certain death to save their LI: Kara disregards a kryptonite bomb in Exhibit D:
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The LI being the last to know the hero's identity, but Hero will still risk their identity to save the LI: Everyone say hello to Exhibit E:
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The Hero finding strength from their LI: the CW sure loves using El Mayarah in Supercorp posts! And social media aside, we've seen how confident and strong Lena makes Kara, both in dialogue and visually. (And it's a bonus that Kara makes Lena stronger too!)
Everything with food
Kara literally referred to food as a love language when talking to Nia. Only an episode or so away from bringing Lena food from 3 different countries. And let’s remember how Kara offered to fly to Italy for her first date with James...
Kara also always brought Lena food, even before season 5. That was their Thing.
We also have to talk about the absences of food: Kara dropping potstickers at Pulitzer ceremony when she sees Lena and not accepting Dansen’s invitation to get food after her falling out with Lena.
It was established all the way back in Season 1 (very much so in the fun Flash crossover) that Kara thinks food is more important than everything and will often use it as a coping mechanism when she’s sad (like in Season 2/3 about Mon). Yet, she’s so devastated over Lena that she can’t even eat her favorite foods? Interesting.
Color schemes and certain shots
The red/blue color scheme consistently used with Supercorp, with exception to the purple tones used in Season 5 to represent their conflict.
No other love interest for Kara has consistently used that iconic Super/LL color palet. Not James, Mon, William, or the two episodes with Adam.
I'd like to specifically remind everyone how Kara chose to wear purple with William, against Alex's explicit advice.
There are always lighting choices made with Supercorp shots. No other duo (besides dramatic Danvers sisters shots) seem to have such artistic care.
Do I even need to mention the balcony scenes? Both at the Pulitzer Ceremony and in scenes from multiple seasons where Kara has hovered over Lena's balcony-- most notably in 5x03.
Like seriously, do I need to mention the scene from 5x08 where Kara and Lena are looking longingly at the same picture of the two of them?
Music
If I know anything as a musician, I know scores. And Blake Neely has created certain melodies just for Supercorp saves. There’s the typical “Supergirl hero” melody, but it’s rarely used for scenes with Lena (besides the one instance in 5x07 cliff scene, when Neely combines the Leviathan theme with the Supergirl theme).
If you want to listen to examples: the brief save in 2x15 and the plane save in 3x05. Both melodies are unique, unreleased scores that (to my musical knowledge) have not been repeated with other Kara rescues. 
Also, can we talk about how Supercorp has their own heroic theme, composed specifically for the 100th episode? Played by a live orchestra? For the one AU where Kara and Lena were partners from the start?
Decisions made by Melissa and Katie
We know they've known about Supercorp since at least the end of Season 2. Melissa showed Katie and they've been aware for years.
Yet, they play into the Supercorp dynamic. Longing stares, giggly dialogue, tear filled eyes, etc.
Regarding Melissa specifically: for her directorial debut she made two significant decisions. 1. She chose to have a camera pan over the room during Lex's speech, showing only Lena noticing Kara leaving and upset. 2. She dressed Lena in two comics Lois Lane outfits, one of which in red to parallel Kara's blue.
Melissa also has played Kara's interractions with Lena very similarly to how she played the Kara/James dynamic in Season 1. Something she chose not to do with Mon or William. But let's get into my next point...
Direct parallels with heterosexual superhero couples most on the CW
This includes Westallen, multiple iterations of Clois, Olicity, WonderTrev, Karolsen, PeterMJ, Deckerstar, Brainia, SpiderGwen, Lanolsen...need I go on??
On my blog, I have them tagged as: supercorp and hetero hero parallels
Individual ships are tagged as: [couple]/supercorp (ex. clois/supercorp)
Apologies for just giving links, but damn if I wrote all of the parallels out then it would probably take days and this post would be absurdly long.
And let’s not forget all the parallels Supercorp has with canon w/w
This includes Korrasami, Catradora, Clexa, Dansen, Avalance, Harlivy, Sanvers, etc.
I have these examples tagged similarly to the het examples: supercorp and canon sapphic parallels (same with individual ones)
You’ll notice there are actually more posts and parallels between Supercorp and het couples (the couples that most non-LGBT fans think of as more valid lmao), so take that as you will🙃
Despite the mistreatment of Supercorp fans, and LGBT fans in general, by some actors and crew, and despite the tone deaf plot lines and usage of characters, Supercorp has consistently held up with all of my points stated above. That's why I still have days where I can just feel it in my bones that Supergirl is playing the slow burn game with Supercorp. It clearly won't be as well-done as Catradora, because of how much sh*t they've pulled over the seasons. But just like you, I have days where I get strong feelings that maybe it’s all part of their poorly thought out plan and we’ll get that validation and happiness.
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