#lmao so yeah we aren’t close at all and there’s like major differences in our behaviors

[dawnstarranger]

@imperial--orthodoxy

…I did this to myself, so here we go lmao

(Im on mobile so the formatting will suck. I make no apologies lmao. I had to close out of the screen a bunch so I saved as a draft rather than trying to reply to your ask.)

1. Nope! I try not to dwell on it though.

2. Also no?

3. Statistically probably, but not everyone lucks out.

4. Not really.

5. Nope, found family counts too.

6. Yes. Friends are important!

7. I am!

8. I think it’s the same emotion, it just manifests differently.

9. Not as happy, but people do live fulfilling lives without finding romance.

10. Yes.

11. Absolutely lmao.

12. I don’t think so?

13. I don’t disbelieve in it, if that makes sense.

14. I mean, if reincarnation is how it goes, that’s just the way she goes.

15. Cosmically special, no. Special to friends and family on the micro level, yea.

16. Yeah. But debate for the sake of your own understanding. You’re never going to convince everyone else to see things your way, so don’t expect to change minds.

17. Can favorite characters be like imaginary friends?

18. I say no to this because I’m not involved in anything organized and am not looking to be. Insert “the gods are names for what’s already in your heart” here :)

19. I don’t, but I feel like it’s one of those things that if life leads me to change my mind, I change my mind.

20. Isn’t that just life?

21. I mean yeah? Different circumstances would have probably led to me finding love with someone else. I don’t think it’s healthy for current relationships to dwell on “well, what if…” for too long, though.

22. So previously I would have said a loooong fucking time. However, I knew I was with the right person in a matter of about a month, so I guess when it’s right, it’s right?

23. I think it takes a very special relationship to survive when there is no “convenience.” Yes, yes, love is magical and can transcend barriers and whatnot, but long-term I think the simple things like being able to tolerate living together matter a lot, maybe not to the emotion of love, but to the act of it.

24. I think so lol.

25. Probs not as fluid as if I were gen z, but people are people and love is love.

26. Going to college and pursuing what I’m passionate about.

27. I’m a little afraid of losing out on things I want to do, but not especially.

28. Based on family history I will definitely live for at least a century lol. Would not want to live forever though. Maybe it would be cool to have an elven lifespan, complete with slow aging?

29. Yep.

30. I like to believe in free will, at least to an extent. Such as life is, we usually aren’t as free in our choices as we think, or wish, that we were.

31. I’ve survived my mental illnesses so far, so with that off the table I have no idea lol.

32. Ummmm no. If I had a dollar for every time someone asks me this after I tell them I study astronomy…

33. I really don’t think adulthood kicks in until 25ish.

34. By drow standards yes :)

35. A million dollars

36. I married that person and we either get along perfectly or literally not at all.

37. In some things, yes.

38. Absolutely not and I’m glad of it.

39. Sure. Kind of. Maybe.

40. Trying to do what you sincerely believe is good, as long as you’re reducing harm to others. I try my best.

41. Being independent and pursuing what I care about.

42. Kind of, yeah. Most of us are pretty boxed in by various limitations.

43. I used to be much more artistic than I am now. I’m no art major, so I’ll leave the definition to the experts here.

44. I’m generally truthful. Sometimes people don’t need to know your business.

45. Hopefully I’ll be remembered for groundbreaking research one day.

46. Probably not.

47. Suffering is part of the human condition, so yeah. It doesn’t have special meaning, life is just hard and arbitrary sometimes.

48. Insert “there is no freedom, there is only survival” here. Freedom is relative and somewhat up to how you define it.

49. Yes.

50. Honesty, loyalty, and a willingness to tolerate my bullshit.

51. I really don’t know. Probably a few on this list would be good contenders.

52. I’m sure I have inherited beliefs just like anyone else. I try to be able to justify what I think, at least to myself. Should I get really cringe and add “little of what I say or do is opinion”?

53. Could be any of them. I’m not an expert on plenty of things, and I tell to take the approach of time and experience will tell in the end.

54. I don’t think so, not at present, anyway. As a physicist I’d obviously like to, though!

55. I suppose? But that does open the door to the whole “what counts as consciousness” and can AI ever get there and what about really smart animals etc etc etc

56. Useful, inevitable, and very dangerous to society.

57. Yes, and yes, but I think it’s part of what makes us human, and it isn’t a bad thing.

58. Statistically yeah? Probably? But that shouldn’t stop us from continuing to create art.

59. AI generated 15 second clips of remixes lol

60. At the moment we seem to be bringing back the ‘00s, who knows what’s next?

61. Everyone thinks they’re living through hard times. With that said, I do think technology plays a role in how crazy the modern day feels compared to times previous.

62. No and fuck no. I don’t like actual current me enough to want to deal with a clone.

63. I’m not, but fake it till you make it, amiright?

64. Not remotely.

65. Honestly I don’t know. There’s an argument to be made for raising the voting age, but also I don’t think that younger adults are voting “stupidly” more than much older adults.

66. It’s destructive and petty and unfortunately for the world I am a destructive and petty little bitch.

67. A Karen :)

68. I like it fine.

69. If you’re really truly in love with someone (assuming monogamy here) I think part of that entails respecting the other person enough not to dwell on crushes to the point that they get that far. Sometimes it happens, but I don’t think it plays out as nicely as it does in the movies.

70. Bruh, I’m alive. That’s the tragedy.

71. I wouldn’t go see it.

72. Uhhhhhh well, we prosecuted nazis who were acting with the full support of their own laws, so in some cases yes. Maybe just as importantly, we should pardon and rehabilitate people who were arrested for things that have since been decriminalized.

73. To defend it, yes. I live here whether I like it or not.

74. Yes. I do think it’s an important goal.

75. Yes, I think the consequences for not taking care of others is higher than many people like to admit.

76. I crave positive academic feedback and the warm fuzzy feeling I get when my grades are high.

77. Ask Shakespeare.

78. Idk but your mom said I was satisfying ;)

79. I listen to whatever, usually not dependent on mood.

80. I listen to whatever I happen to feel like. I’m not a big mood listener.

81. No can do, am already tied down.

82. Lmao probs not

83. Uhh maybe? I’m happy to do my thing from earth, but the temptation is there. #rememberthecant

84. Binch I don’t have the first clue who people think I am. I don’t even know who I think I am half the time.

85. “Would I be happier if I was born into a perfect and advantageous body instead of the one I’m in” yeah duh, but I still wouldn’t want to flip a switch and change like that.

86. All of them:)

87. Not as easily as in years past.

88. Im definitely more on the jealous side.

89. Maybe some of the same core traits, but I’d be so different without my memories that I don’t know if it matters.

90. That’s a 50/50 question. Some days yes, some days no.

91. Absolutely, and I fucking hate [REDACTED], obviously

92. I’m working on a German minor but I am NOT fluent at all

93. I don’t draw meaning from them, but I do tend to have vivid dreams. Sometimes they’re like a nice little vacation :) sometimes they’re fucked up tho

94. Consistently

95. Really depends. I feel like if it’s unrequited, you aren’t able to get to know that other person on the level it takes to create genuine, long-lasting love. You’re in love with the idea of them more than with the actual person.

96. Again, I can’t read minds so I literally don’t know lol

97. Yes

98. All the time, but I think a lot of people feel that way on some level

99. Not especially. I think there are things we can’t yet explain and may never fully explain, but I don’t believe in magic per se.

100. You only get so many good rolls per dice per dnd session, and you should try not to use them up on stupid shit (this belief is nothing but logical)

[httphyucks]

.

#do ur siblings ever stress you out #trick question of course they do #my eldest sister is 11 years older than me so we aren’t that close bc of our age difference she was grown by the time i formed a personality #lmao so yeah we aren’t close at all and there’s like major differences in our behaviors #and i know she means well #but she always gives me unsolicited advice and it’s always in kind of a condescending i-did-it-so-you-can-too kind of way #and she’s just messaged me and asked me to move in with her so that i can ~expand my horizons~ and learn how to be an adult #but here’s the thing #she lives in texas #and not just texas but south texas really close to the border #like she’s closer to mexico than she is our hometown #and that’s 10 and a half hours #and while i would love to have the experience and live somewhere new and make new friends #i’m not mentally ready to move that far away from home

[castiellesbian]

i feel like i need a glossary of terms or a contact list for all these people involved with the show. i have shit memory and dont pay attention to the credits who is sera (sara??) and why does everyone hate her!! why is he Bobo!!!!!! please... has anyone posted about this im desperate

lol well including everyone involved with the show would be difficult, but I’ll give you some highlights

Eric Kripke: creator of Supernatural, showrunner for seasons 1-5. People have differing opinions about him but general people enjoyed his run and he’s considered the best showrunner in the series overall. Not much to say because there’s a lot to say lmao (notable episodes: “Pilot,” “Lazarus Rising,” and “Swan Song”)

Sera Gamble: writer who was involved from the beginning of the show, became showrunner after Kripke left. Her seasons, 6 and 7, are typically regarded as the weakest seasons. She was a huge brothers-only supporter, and was responsible for Misha being written out of the show (as well as Jim Beaver, Bobby) in order to get the show to just be about the brothers again. There’s a lot of drama regarding her treatment of Misha/Cas, but more recently she’s known for the Magicians debacle, a horrendous example of the Bury Your Gays trope. She’s also involved with (the showrunner of?) You on Netflix. She was a pretty good writer, but overall fans dislike her because of her showrunning tenure (notable episodes: “Faith” with Raelle Tucker, “Death’s Door,” “The Born-Again Identity”)

Jeremy Carver: writer from season 3 that was promoted to showrunner from seasons 8 through.... some time in 12, the timeline has been a little murky to me. He was the one who brought Cas back into the main plot, as well as allowing the deancas storyline to become genuine subtext (we can argue whether it was queerbaiting or what he was intending to do if he had been running the series finale, but yeah). Unfortunately, he was also the showrunner when Charlie was killed off brutally, which dampens his legacy. People are conflicted about his seasons, but generally he’s looked upon favorably (not related, but the picture that comes up when you search him on google is NOT him, he’s really like a typical white nerdy looking dude lol) (notable episodes: “The Rapture,” “Sacrifice,” “Do You Believe in Miracles?”)

Andrew Dabb: writer from season 4, promoted to showrunner during season 12 and is the last showrunner of Supernatural (he wrote the finale). He was well-liked by deancas fans for awhile because of how much screentime they were allowed to give, and because of the focus on extended/found family. Sam and Dean only fans didn’t like him for the same reasons. Unfortunately, HIS legacy has been marred by the awful series finale, though it’s debated whether that was his fault or because of network meddling. (notable episodes: “Dark Side of the Moon” with Daniel Loflin, “The Prisoner,” “Moriah”)

Robert Singer: executive producer since the beginning of the show (he’s also co-showrunner throughout Supernatural, but I don’t think he typically was involved with the plotlines too often). He’s directed quite a few episodes, including the infamous wire fight episode (s13 finale) as well as the series finale. Married to Eugenie Ross-Leming, writer of the show

Eugenie Ross-Leming/Brad Buckner: writing partners TECHNICALLY from season 1, but they only wrote one episode until they were brought back in season 7. They are regarded as the worst writers in all of Supernatural, responsible for tactless death scenes of fan-favorites (and typically minorities) like Kevin, Charlie, and Eileen. They also feature a gross amount of dubcon/noncon, racism, weird unnecessary sex stuff, and are SUPER into Lucifer for some unknown reason (they have a crush on Mark Pellegrino I guess). They’re also just kind of bad writers in general, their pacing is weird and their plots convoluted. To be fair, though, they have written some good moments, like Dean trying to reach Cas in Hell’s Angel and Dean’s confessional scene in Paint It Black. But overall, they suck. Why are they still on the show even though BOTH sides of the fandom (who never agree on ANYTHING) dislike them? Well, because Eugenie is married to Singer. Nepotism. (notable episodes, the ones I can stand to watch lmao: “Holy Terror,” “Hell’s Angel,” “Our Father Who Aren’t in Heaven”)

Ben Edlund: writer from season 2 who left after season 8, but people STILL talk about him simply because he is arguably the strongest writer of the series. Cas fans particularly like him because he did most of the heavy-lifting regarding Cas’ characterization. He also wrote the famous bi!Dean scene with Aaron in season 8, where Dean is flustered after being flirted with. (notable episodes: “On the Head of a Pin,” “The French Mistake,” and my all-time favorite “The Man Who Would Be King”)

Robert “Bobo” Berens: writer from season 9, his first episode was “Heaven Can’t Wait,” which is all you really need to know about his influence on the deancas storyline. He’s also gay, so people particularly enjoy seeing how he approaches destiel in his episodes since it’s not just another straight guy potentially just catering to fans. He was also the one who was meant to go off and run Wayward Sisters, and is responsible for a lot of their development in recent seasons. I believe he also created Rowena? He wrote the episode this season where Cas confesses his love to Dean (along with other heavy deancas episodes like “The Trap”). Sam fans typically don’t like him because he doesn’t give him much focus. (notable episodes: “Heaven Can’t Wait,” “Who We Are,” “Wayward Sisters” with Andrew Dabb)

Steve Yockey: writer from season 12 through the beginning of season 15. Also gay, and also responsible for deancas moments in recent years. Generally loved for his deancas subtext but ALSO because he is an amazing writer who came out with iconic episodes. (notable episodes: “Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox,” “Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets,” “Peace of Mind” with Meghan Fitzmartin)

Robbie Thompson: writer from seasons 7 through 11, and wrote some fan favorite episodes in the meantime. He is also the creator of fan favorite characters like Charlie and Eileen. He was also one of the few writers who was vocally supportive of destiel during his tenure rather than just later. I’m not implying anything about his intentions, but it was validating for him to encourage fans during a time where most of the cast/crew ignored or actively dismissed it. Plus his episodes are just fun! (notable episodes: “LARP and the Real Girl,” “Fan Fiction,” “Baby”)

Meredith Glynn: writer since season 12, has worked closely with Bobo during their seasons together. She and Bobo cowrote “The Future,” which is the mixtape episode, so she has been taken in by deancas fans haha. She also wrote the episode where Cas makes the deal with the Empty, so it’s pretty safe to say she and Bobo had worked on the deancas plotline together :) She’s also liked some deancas-related tweets on twitter, so she’s being subtly supportive (notable episodes: “Regarding Dean,” “The Future” with Robert Berens, “Byzantium”)

Davy Perez: writer since season 12 (a lot of the ones I’ve mentioned are, since this is when Dabb became showrunner and made changes in the writers room). His episodes tend to either be horror or bizarre. I mention him because he’s responsible for episodes like “Stuck in the Middle (With You)” (Cas’ first “I love you”) and “Tombstone” (aka Brokebacknatural lmao). I don’t know much about him otherwise, but that’s why he’s brought up usually (notable episodes: “Stuck in the Middle (With You),” “Tombstone,” “Atomic Monsters”)

hopefully this helps, and hopefully I didn’t forget about anyone major. There have been a LOT of people behind the scenes so it’s hard to say who to include. Like, I didn’t mention Jerry Wanek, Jim Michaels, Kim Manners, Thomas J. Wright, or others who might be mentioned from time to time.

#Anonymous #long post

[jiminrings]

bestie what if jungkook finally finds out that jin’s friends with y/n 😭😭😭 he’d live in embarrassment for like eight business days

cold senior!y/n x stem major!koo masterlist :D

jungkook wants to crawl in a ditch for bADLY misjudging a situation he should’ve foreseen in the first place

yoongi has never been this dedicated to curing his hangover

well actually, nO ONE was really forcing him to pick you and taehyung up anyway

you didn't even ask!!! you could 10/10 just call for an uber to bring back taehyung to his place

maybe, just maybe, it's your fault that when yoongi asked you where you were when he's just woken up from a long night of partying, you mentioned "i'm with taehyung" and hospital and go home in the same sentence so that's why he went to overdrive

did he process what you said correctly?? probably not <3

that's the whole reason why yoongi had wasted sIX eggs this morning!!

he read somewhere in passing and watched song-hwa from hospital playlist enough to know that drinking eggs apparently helps you with your hangover and some other things

first, he wasted tHREE eggs because apparently, you're not supposed to drink the eggs !!! whisked !!! because it "defeats" the whole purpose

but it's still an egg whether you whisk it and no one's sane enough to drink raw eggs unprovoked

yoongi nailed it on the second try and he might have gagged a few times but the important thing is, his hangover is all-cured from the stress of digesting raw eggs :D so now he can safely drive at a borderline dangerous speed to pick you and tae up

"hey kiddo."

you peer your head up to see yoongi looking down at you, ruffling your hair in greeting

you've been held up here for less than five hours anyway, and it's not that yOU look tired,,, it's just that maybe you could use a little more sleep

lol you got yoongi thinking for a second that you're the injured on

"hey champ," yoongi acknowledges taehyung who's smiling from his bed, getting a forehead flick from his senior to which he rolls his eyes to

taehyung's... dressed up already in his normal clothes?

he already has his shoe on too so yoongi doesn't quite get why the two of you still aren't standing up

"you're lucky you just got a flick," you add helpfully, yawning in remembrance, "he punched my arm when i fell down the stairs at the dorm."

and wHY is this conversation all pointing to him now??

"because the both of you did stupid things that landed you in the ER!"

"i was just trying to see if i can go down the stairs three steps at a time!!"

"i just wanted to embrace y/n!!!"

very stoopid decisions if you ask him

yoongi shifts his weight from one foot to another, still a little lost because he's already here, and the two of you are all-ready to go, and he's not really a fan of the smell of the hospital —

oh wait

"has the bill already been settled?" he asks in curiosity, fishing out his wallet from his pocket

"mhmm. already did," tae answers instantly, nudging yoongi to put his wallet back where it came from

uhm wait maybe it's the eggs that are talking but uh

..... if the bill's already paid-

"then why are we all just sitting here?"

taehyung opens his mouth but he cLOSES it shut the moment it all clicks in his head, belatedly looking at you whose face screams conflict

yoongi's eyes turn to you on instinct, narrowing his eyes because you're choosing not to meet his eyes

"we're uh, we're waiting for jungkook to come back from the restroom."

...

.....

.......

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

yoongi's quiet, almost like he's calculating the variables in his mind

his mind's working harder rn that it did on his finals last week

"so jungkook is here?"

he gets war flashbacks every time he hears his name

he just shudders at the thought of him and he doesn't mean it positively lmao

"y-yeah! did i not tell you that at the call? he helped me get taehyung here," you scratch your nape in explanation, not accounting for the fact that yoongi still vERY much loathes jungkook when you called him

tae's not actually sure if he's helping you when he opens his mouth but he's trying his best <3

"yup! his shoulders were my crutch for like, three blocks. he also bought us food from the cafeteria while we were waiting to have my leg cast!!"

he glances at the fancy paper bags from the cafeteria downstairs, even some take-outs in there that makes it look all-stuffed

how in the living hELL is yoongi suppposed to feel about all of this :|

"i'm back! should i call an uber now? sorry, i bought these tiny hand sanitizers because they were having a sale at the pharmacy. y/n what scent do you-..."

jungkook happily chirps as he rummages through the bag he was given, preparing to scoop all the different scents to present them to you when he jUST had to look down at a familiar pair of shoes

as in the same black converse that he had the relief of looking at when someone was particularly asking him if he ever had a knuckle sandwich

"h-hi yoongi."

yoongi narrows his eyes at the kid who just squeaked, mouth puffed-up in disbelief that he looks like he's hiding a hamster in there

"bye jungkook."

yoongi uses tae as an excuse to shoo jungkook off as fast as possible but that kinda bites him in the ass

taehyung's going through a learning curve with his crutches and yoongi's making him wALK faster!!!! he still needs a little-

oh wait a minute :-)

"jungkook! help me walk to yoongi's car."

no

there is nO way that even taehyung's conspiring against him now

first jin and now taehyung????

tae solidifies his point by winking at yoongi, leaving you alone with him as you carry the paper bags of cafeteria take-outs

he's not exactly sure if he's helping you out at this situation, but once again, he's just trying his best and having fun alright!!! he likes to be included in these types of things hee-hee

yoongi has no choice now but to aLSO drive jungkook home, and the thought just makes him grumble from thinking about it

he'll have to disinfect his seats ://

"i haven't fully forgiven him if that's what you're thinking about," you chime in with his thoughts, looping your arm around his to help quell the visible stress in his mind

"it's your life," he puffs out because he doesn't want to meddle with you, consciously trying not to be overbearing when it comes to your choices

"i know. i just want you to know that your closest friend has the pride and the brains to not forgive an asshole, a goddamn junior, who said really mean things to her," you add thoughtfully and transparently, making yoongi break into a smile

ok that's got the heaviness in his chest a little lighter

"we should probably talk to each other one of these days."

you haven't had a heart-to-heart talk with yoongi for quite some time now because there weren't really any pressing issues of the sort to make the two of you talk face-to-face, but now it's probably needed

"we should."

:D

jungkook has never feared for his life in a car ride tHIS much before

and he's even wearing his seatbelt!!!!

you're sitting at the front seat and he's with taehyung at the back, the latter dozing off because yoongi indulged his request for sleep music with soft rain on the background (it doesn't make yoongi sleepy) in an attempt to make him feel better about his leg

the one-hour loop's working wonders because you're passed out on the front seat too

normally, this would also make jungkook sleepy

but how the fuck can he sLEEP when yoongi looks at him through the rear-view mirror like an apex predator??????

kook could take the easier route of pretending to sleep so he could get to avoid yoongi's gaze

but then if he pretends to sleep, yoongi would clearly see how his eyeballs are still very much trembling even when his eyes are shut and he's the furthest thing from being relaxed

don't get him started on stoplights too!!! that was just pure torture because jungkook was conflicted to whether or not he should look at him rIGHT back

taehyung and jungkook live in the same building anyway so that's more convenient because he actually wouldn't know how to act if he had to drop j-name (he honestly can't digest saying his name) separately

now that that's all over, jungkook feels oddly fulfilled in a way...?

fulfilled in a sense that even if partially, he managed to earn your forgiveness

he feels like he could sleep a little more peacefully knowing that he atleast did something right this time!!!

which is for the exact reason, he's gonna gUSH about this to mr. kim from student affairs!!!

it's uh the weekend and he walked to campus because he thinks that admin works even on weekends (mad respect)

it's noticeably a lot more empty compared to weekdays and it's just filled with freshmen with their hectic class schedules and some students who are just fulfilling units to graduate early

jungkook walks straight to student affairs and it instantly looks empty, the only familiar face in there being namjoon

as in mr. kim namjoon who's wearing a windbreaker rn and whose hair is dEFINITELY blonde than the last time (two days ago) that jungkook saw him

he's not here to work isn't he

wait is he here to rob the place ???!?#?!?

"and what are you doing here?"

namjoon is as confused as jungkook, his mouth opening and closing in dumbfoundedness

"o-oh! is mr. kim here? w-wait, you are here. i mean mr. kim seokjin, sorry. did he-"

"nope," namjoon shakes his head, putting his bucket hat back on to leave jungkook all by himself

namjoon from work and namjoon every other time besides work are TWO different entities

"we just came here to collect our paychecks. you missed jin by ten minutes."

oh well

his momentum's not entirely ruined!! jungkook just has to cram thinking of a recipe to put in your lunchbox by tomorrow and jin is his tried and tested saving grace

technically, jungkook already saw you this morning because of the whole taehyung in a cast thing, but he feels as if that the take-outs from the cafeteria aren't gonna cut it

he still needs to step up his game of course :D

so that's why jungkook forcibly enlisted jimin's help to make fish and chips for dinner and put them in two lunchboxes

one for you and one for yoongi!! he didn't skimp on the fish nor the chips and made sure they're still toasty and in peak-flavor when he delivers it to your dorm

is he intruding? is this a bad time? he didn't exactly know how to process when yoongi told him that he wouldn't stop him from making it up to you

he just iSN'T sure if delivering homemade lunchboxes at 7 in the evening to your dorm is optimal

oh good!! the door's opening :D

"good evening!! i uhm-"

... what

.......... WHAT

what the fuck is going on

seokjin is suprised to see that the guy at the door isn't from the delivery place he ordered from two minutes ago

... he may be disappointed

but what he is amused about is the way jungkook looks beyond confused and intimidated

jin's in a sleep shirt and some boxers and jungkook doesn't kNOW what to feel about all the variables present that he's trying to connect

"you look like you're hiding a goldfish in your mouth."

seokjin remarks and yawns when a fraction of a minute passes and jungkook's still frozen in his spot, his eyes darting to what the kid's holding

"oh c'mon! one for y/n and one for yoongi? you trying to make it up to him too? and none for me?" jin jives him further, leaning against the doorframe with a sleepy smirk on his lips, "i practically live here, and i gave you the tonkatsu recipe, and i'm the one who doesn't get a lunchbox?"

he eventually saw this coming lmao

jin knew that someway somehow, jungkook would come to know that hE's your close friend throughout the whole time

that he's been the sort of middleman all this time but nah he's on your team of course <3

that all this whining he's done to him has all been in the name of you and seokjin had to sit through ALLLL of that with his fists clenched underneath the table to calm himself down

"oh my god," jungkook's literally WEAK in the knees as it all connects in his mind, the gravity of this scenario kicking down on him

he really iS such a fucking asshole

how did he not hypothesize this????? how wasn't he able to connect you and yoongi and jin as each other's closest friends???

his legs are literally about to give out so that's why seokjin snatches the lunchboxes from his hands

"i am so, so, so sorry mr. kim. i-i really didn't-..."

jin pays him no mind, opening the lunchboxes slightly as he whistles at the sight of fish and chips

meanwhile jungkook is so sO close to crying both in realization and very very slight relief because he knows atleast one of your friends doesn't hate him that much

the door opens wider, the creaking getting both of his and jin's attention

"what's taking you so long? is the-..."

yoongi switches his gaze between the two lunchboxes on jin's hand and jungkook sitting on the floor looking like he's had the shock of his lifetime

wow this is really amusing

this is in fact so amusing that yoongi can't help but to snap a picture for him and jin to laugh at later

"bye, jeon."

yoongi grabs one of the lunchboxes from jin's hand and goes back into the dorm, leaving jungkook alone with mr. student affairs

seokjin chuckles as he outstretches his hand to make jungkook stand up and shoo him off sooner than later so he wouldn't look like a pebble in front of your dorm

he pats him on the back, only having to pull him slightly to get him closer to his ear

"we're still mad at you kid, don't get it twisted. you're lucky i didn't expel you."

jungkook pales at the realization overall, only weakly nodding his head as he attempts to take in everything while trying to look at the bright side

seokjin cheerily closes the door, waving at him who looks so close to passing out from hock

"bye jungkook!!!"

#AHHHHHH WHAT R UR THOUGHTS WHAT DO YOU WANNA SEE NEXT #stem koo #jungkook imagine #jungkook imagines #jungkook oneshot #jungkook oneshots #jungkook au #jungkook college au #jungkook x you #jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook headcanon #jungkook series

[petersasteria]

hope ur ok || holland!reader

sour masterlist || holland!reader || sour taglist

3,637 words tw: sad shit bc spoiler: someone dies, italics are flashbacks, bold is a letter i don't have a holland reader banner so i used the olivia banner instead. also, sorry for the delay of posting this lmao

* * * *

You were in your room, sitting on your bed as your eyes looked around. Your room was painted your favorite color and it made your brothers jealous because their rooms were painted white, it was boring. Yours had posters, polaroids of you and your siblings, fairy lights, a bean bag chair, and a simple full body mirror. You heard a knock on your door and you looked to see that it was Tom smiling brightly with a plate of your favorite cookies.

“Hey.” He said softly as he entered the room and shut the door behind him with his foot while balancing the plate of cookies in his hands.

“Hi.” You smiled.

“Sam kicked me out of the kitchen, but I was there first and fortunately, I finished the cookies on time. I hope they taste alright.” Tom said as he sat beside you, the plate of cookies in between you.

“They smell good, so you did a good job.” You chuckled. Tom took one cookie and looked at you, “Taste test.”

He took a bite and chewed it a few times before saying, “It tastes alright. It’s not like how Sam makes it, but I’m not Sam. I’m Tom.”

Both of you erupted into a fit of giggles as you talked about random things. The plate of cookies were now on your bedside table and only half of the cookies were eaten.

“Hey, how’s your friend?” Tom asked casually. Both of you were laying on your bed, facing the ceiling.

“Which friend?”

“The blond one who had one hell of a musical talent.” Tom said. “He used to come here and play on Sam’s piano.”

“Oh, James! I don’t really know what happened to him. We, uh, fell out of touch.”

“I see.” Tom said. “I hope he’s okay.”

“Same here.” You told him. “My friend, Madeline, got a scholarship last time I checked. She got accelerated in school and she got to attend uni ahead of us. I’m really proud of her, y’know?”

“Where is she now?” Tom asked.

You looked at Tom with sorrow in your eyes. He glanced at you and he could see how hurt you were. “We don’t talk...anymore. We used to. She’s basically like a sister to me, but we don’t talk anymore. Regardless, I’m really happy for her and I miss her. Wherever she is, I hope she’s alright.”

Suddenly, there was a knock on your door and Tom sat up quickly. The door opened and revealed Sam. “Hey, it’s time to eat dinner. You’re washing the dishes tonight, Tom!” Sam said before leaving.

“That little shit.” Tom laughed. “C’mon, Y/N. Let’s eat!” He got up from your bed and you followed suit with worry and concern in your eyes. You shook your head and shrugged it off. What you’ll say can wait.

Both of you went down to join everyone on the dining table. You sat in your usual seat, but didn’t contribute in the conversation. You were just happy to be there. You looked around and saw how happy your brothers were. You looked at your parents and saw them smiling. It was a beautiful sight to see. After all, all you wanted was for them to be happy. They deserve to be happy.

Harry and Tom cleaned up as you watched them help each other. “Next time, we should cook Y/N’s favorite dinner.” Tom said. Harry looked at him and shrugged, “Why not? I never liked it, but I’m sure she’d appreciate it very much.”

The next few days were spent with Tom. He never left your side and he made sure you were alright. You were the youngest and as the eldest Holland child, he made it his job to look after you. He wasn’t close with you before, but somehow as you grew older, it changed. Tom was now excited to spend time with you. He loved talking to you and he loved laughing with you. In his opinion, you make his stress and worries fade away.

Your birthday is coming up and he wanted everything planned out. He already had plans, actually. He knew what cake you wanted, he knew what decorations to put up, he planned the food, and he even had a theme in mind. He was really prepared. Paddy had to go with Tom in town just to buy balloons. Tom was really going all out.

“Are you going to help me set up tonight? Y/N’s birthday is tomorrow and I want her to be surprised when she wakes up. I can already imagine her face.” Tom smiled excitedly as he parked the car in the driveway.

“I can’t help you tonight. I have homework.” Paddy said as he looked at Tom who just shrugged. “Alright. No problem. Stay in school, Pads.” Tom smiled before exiting his car with Paddy following him.

They walked in and Tom saw you sitting on the arm of the couch with Sam and Harry. Tom smiled at the sight. “Hey, guys!” He greeted, causing the three of you to look at Tom and Paddy.

“Wow, you went shopping for a lot of things.” Harry pointed out.

“Yeah, what’s up with that?” Sam asked with a grin.

“Nothing.” Tom smirked. “I’ll put these in my room.” Tom left and went upstairs to his room as Paddy walked to the couch and sat next to you. You looked at Paddy and smiled. You weren’t close with him, but you loved him dearly. You were only one year younger than him and he was always kind to you and you liked hanging out with him.

You looked at Sam and Harry and you held back a chuckle as you watch them annoy each other. It was a lovely sight to see.

Night time came and dinner was over a few hours ago. You were just standing in your backyard feeling the wind blowing and you knew that something was about to happen. You just didn’t know what. The backdoor opened and you turned around to see Tom with a small smile.

“What’re you doing out here? It’s cold.” He said as he tugged his jacket closer. He walked towards you and stood beside you. “What’s on your mind?”

You shrugged, “Nothing. I guess I’m just tired. I think I’ll rest now.”

Tom nodded. He suddenly remembered his plan and said, “Yeah, you can go upstairs now. I, uh, prepared your room.”

“Thank you.” You smiled at him. You walked towards the back door and stopped to turn around to look at Tom. He was already looking at you and you said, “I- Good night, Tom.”

“Good night, Y/N. Sweet dreams.” He smiled sweetly. You opened the door and walked in and went straight up the stairs to your room.

Tom stayed outside for a minute before walking in. He locked the back door and went to the living room where his brothers were. “Hey, guys! Ready to decorate?” Tom asked with a huge smile on his face. It was evident that he was excited.

“What’re you talking about?” Sam asked, looking at Tom with a confused face.

“Yeah, what’s happening?” Paddy questioned.

Tom scoffed and crossed his arms, “How could you guys forget?! It’s our sister’s birthday tomorrow and you guys aren’t preparing at all!”

Tom was yelling as the rest were looking at him sadly. Sam’s eyes were clouded with tears as he looked at Tom. Harry and Paddy looked at Sam, not wanting to be the ones to remind Tom. Sam sighed and closed his eyes and his tears fell. He wiped his tears and opened his eyes to face Tom.

“Tom, mate, she’s dead.” Sam said softly. “She’s been dead for two months now.”

“W-What are you talking about?” Tom shook his head slowly. He looked away from Sam and he saw you standing behind Sam. “She’s right there, Sam! She’s literally right behind you! How can you not see it?!”

“Tom, stop! She’s gone, okay?!” Harry exclaimed. “Y/N’s not here! She won’t be here anymore and it’ll be that way forever. We just have to accept that.”

“It was leukemia, Tom. She didn’t make it and we had a funeral and everything.” Paddy said softly.

You were confined in the hospital for about a week now and you were getting weaker and weaker as the days went on. Your family was trying to be positive, but all of you knew that it was your time to go. Before you were confined, you had written letters for them to read after you die and it was now hidden in their drawers.

Tom and Harry weren’t there when you passed because they were in a different country. They immediately went home when they heard the news. All of you knew that you weren’t going to make it, but all of you ignored that fact. Everyone except Tom was grieving. He held his mother as she cried and he stayed strong for his brothers. He couldn’t remember the last time he and his brothers slept in one room and he hated that they chose to do it again as soon as you were gone.

It was like a sleepover. They all talked about you and everything you did that the others didn’t know about. Turns out, you had secrets you shared with everyone except Tom.

“Wait, she told you guys about her secrets?” Tom asked that night.

“Yeah.” Harry nodded, eyes bloodshot from all the crying. “If something happens to her, she tells the first person she sees.”

“She never told me anything.” Tom stated.

“That’s because you’re the eldest. No one tells people about themselves to the eldest sibling.” Paddy answered.

“That’s unfortunate.” Tom frowned. “I wish I knew the things you knew.” He added.

“It’s alright, Tom. She didn’t have major secrets, anyway. Besides, she was just scared to tell you. That’s why she did that.” Sam explained.

Tom couldn’t sleep that night as he looked at his brothers. They were cuddled up next to each other and were fast asleep. Tom couldn’t help but think of you before finally drifting off. Days later, it was the funeral. The whole house was quiet and while your mum, Nikki, would appreciate it, for once in her life she wanted the noise. She wanted to hear boisterous laughing, heavy footsteps running up and down the stairs, yelling, the sound of Sam cutting vegetables, Dom’s loud typing, Paddy talking to his friend on the phone, Harry telling you to wake up and calling you a lazy bum for not being productive, and Tom playing with Tessa outside. Now, there was none of that.

When a husband or wife dies, the one they left behind is called a widow. When a child dies, what do you call their parents? No one’s ever come up with a word for that yet because it’s too painful to think about. You were young and you deserved all the best life has to offer. Nikki was devastated, but she knew that wherever you were, you aren’t in pain anymore and that was enough for her.

Tom wanted to scream, but he didn’t. He was numb. After the funeral, he and Harry decided to take a break from traveling to spend time with the rest of the family. He stopped working for a while and everyone understood that.

When they got home, Tom went straight to his room and cried. He cried and cried until no tears came out. His head ached, but he didn’t want to get up and get himself a glass of water. He grabbed his phone from the bedside table to ask Harry, but his phone died. Tom scoffed, sat up, and reached the drawer of his bedside table. He leaned over to look for his phone charger, but he saw a letter instead. It had his name on it and he realized that it was your handwriting. Tom quickly grabbed it and put his phone back on the bedside table. He opened the envelope and read what you wrote for him.

Dear Tom,

Hi. When you read this, you know that I'm gone. I'm sorry that we never got to bond a lot. I guess it's my fault because I was so scared of you. Despite that, I want you to know that I'm really happy for you and I'm proud of you.

You're my inspiration and please know that I'm very proud to be your sister.

I don't know where I'll end up when I'm gone, but please don't worry about me. I'll be okay, I can feel it. I'll just go where the wind takes me.

You're a kind person for the whole time I've known you. I'll miss everything and I'll miss your pranks and jokes. Please never stop doing those just because I'm gone. I hope you think of me whenever you tell a joke or pull a prank on Harry again.

I wish we bonded more. I wish we made cookies until Sam kicked us out of the kitchen because he needed to prepare for dinner. I wish we watched movies together and I wish we spoke often.

I'll miss you all the time and I love you. So much. Never forget that.

Your sister,

Y/N/N x

Tom cried again until he slept with the letter resting on his chest. The next morning, he got up to go to your room. He dreamt of you and he wanted to tell you about it. He glanced at the door and noticed that it was unlocked. He slowly opened it and to his surprise, he saw you standing there watching everyone outside from your window.

“Y/N.” Tom said.

You turned around and smiled at him, “Hey, Tom.”

“I dreamt of you! And in my dream, you were a ballet dancer. We did ballet together. Wouldn't that be something? It could be a bonding thing for us." Tom said with a big smile as he fully entered your room. All of a sudden, he forgot about your sickness, your death, your sickness. From an outsider's point of view, it was a sad sight to see. He was clearly in the denial stage.

Harry was on his way downstairs when he heard a voice coming from your room. He quietly opened the door and saw Tom excitedly talking to thin air.

"You know, I'm not doing anything anytime soon. Why don't we go out? It'll just be you and me, Y/N." Tom smiled. Harry's heart broke upon hearing this. His older brother was imagining their dead sister. Harry kept it to himself because he thought that Tom was coping that way.

It wasn't until Sam witnessed the same thing. Tom was in the kitchen and he was talking to thin air once more. Sam watched as Tom laughed and said a bunch of things. Sam kept it to himself too.

Paddy, however, was different. He went to Harry and Sam's room, unannounced. He closed and locked the door behind him as the twins looked at him in confusion.

"Okay, I can't be the only one to notice it." Paddy said with arms crossed.

"What're you talking about?" Harry asked.

"Tom." Was all Paddy said. The twins looked at each other before looking back at Paddy.

"What about him?" Sam asked, his eyebrows were raised a bit.

"Tom told me that he'll bake Y/N's favorite cookies tomorrow because Y/N said she was craving for it." Paddy explained.

"I saw Tom talking to thin air the day after the funeral. He was in Y/N's room." Harry confessed.

"I saw him doing that too, but he was in the kitchen this time. I'm worried about him." Sam said.

"What should we do?" Harry asked with a frown on his face.

"Let's just let him be for a while. Let’s just intervene when it gets out of hand.” Sam decided as the other two nodded.

They just let Tom be until they had enough.

Tom couldn't believe what his brothers were telling him. He felt sick to his stomach. His baby sister was gone and the thought of it ate him alive. He shook his head and Sam said, “Tom, everything will be alright. We’ll get through this together. We’ll be fine.”

“That can’t be true. I’ve been speaking to her. Stop fucking lying.” Tom cried.

“Tom, wake up! She’s not here, alright?! She’s not in her room anymore. Her things will forever be untouched and her books will be dusty. Her phone hasn’t been charged since she died and it’ll stay that way. All we have left are pictures, videos, and memories of her. We should accept that because no matter what happens, we can’t bring her back!” Harry said as his voice was raised.

“Just go to bed, mate. You’re tired.” Paddy said softly. “We’ll deal with this in the morning.”

Tom wiped his tears and went up to his room, slamming the door. He went to sleep and dreamt of you again. Both of you were on top of a small hill and the wind was blowing softly.

“Why can’t they see you?” Tom asked you.

“Because I only showed myself to you. I know that we haven’t been really close and I figured you’d want some kind of closure. In truth, I’m only here because of you. The light has been calling me and they want me to leave already, but I can’t because I know you’d be sad. I hate seeing you sad.” You explained.

“Then stay here.” Tom begged, but you shook your head.

“You need to let me go, Tom. It’s time. I can’t stay here forever.” You chuckled lightly.

“I just- I feel like nothing. When you were around, I felt like I had a purpose. Now, I just wish I could be with you.” He admitted.

“Don’t say that. Imagine how everyone will react if you’re gone. They’ll be upset. I’m so proud that you’re alive and well because you’ll get to go on with life and grow old. If you can’t do it for yourself, then do it for me. Live the life I never got to live. Trust me when I say that you’ll be happier when you move on.”

“I don’t want to forget you and I don’t want you to think that we’re having fun without you.” He said.

“I won’t think that way because all I ever wanted for all of you is to be happy and healthy. I love you and I miss you, but I want you to have fun and to keep doing everything you love. Don’t stop because I’m gone. Don’t let me be a hindrance because that’ll make me sad and I’ll haunt you forever.” You said as Tom chuckled. “Besides, you don’t have to forget about me. I’ll always be in your heart.”

“Alright.” Tom said. “I think I’m ready to let you go.”

You smiled and nodded as you walked away and stepped into the light. Tom shouted, “Happy birthday, Y/N!”

You looked back and smiled. With that, he knew you were thanking him not just for greeting, but also for everything.

Tom woke up and it was already morning. He decided to get ready and to head to the cemetery. He walked downstairs and saw his brothers eating breakfast.

“Where are you going?” Harry asked before eating his cereal.

“The cemetery. It’s Y/N’s birthday.” Tom said. “I’ll go now. I don’t know what time I’ll be back.”

Tom left and the drive to the cemetery was short and quiet. He parked the car and walked to your grave. He smiled when he saw a small, framed picture of you that Harry placed there not too long ago. He sat in front of your grave and smiled, “Hey, Y/N. I know you can hear me.”

“I guess I did look crazy for a while and I now understand how everyone felt. I, um, I read your letter. I’m sorry too, y’know? I’m sorry I never made the effort to spend time with you. I guess it’s because all my life, I’ve only known about having brothers and when you came along, I didn’t know how to act. But I’m really happy that I got to see you grow up and I’m happy with our few moments together.”

“When you were five, I was fourteen. It’s a wide gap and I remember being so annoyed because your toys were everywhere.” He chuckled at the thought. “Regardless, I loved you and I still do. I’m happy that you grew up to be kind and loving. I’m really fucking happy for that.”

“In your letter, you said that I shouldn’t worry about you. Y/N, I’m sorry, but I can’t promise that. I’m your older brother and that automatically makes me sort of like a second parent especially when mum and dad aren’t around. So, I’ll always worry about you even though I know you’re okay and not in pain.”

“I do, however, promise to always dedicate my pranks to you. I know you’d love that. I’d wish that we bonded, but we already did that. You gave me a chance to get to know the sister I never got to know and that, above all, makes me so happy and grateful. That’s enough for me.”

“I don’t want to say cheesy shit and ask for guidance. I don’t want to burden you in heaven. Like, it’s called a resting place for a reason and I want you to rest easy. I just want to say that I miss you so much and I love you. Happy birthday.” He finished.

Just then, he felt the wind blow in his direction and he knew that you were okay.

* * * *

𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @celestialholland @alinastarkrovs @piscesparker @prancerrparkerr @spideyspeaches @givebuckyhisplumsnow @blueleatherbag @theonly1outof-a-billion @hollandbroz-n-haz @starlight-starks @webmeupspiderdaddy @studiesinspanish @bi-lmg @minejungwoo @blossomhollands @markhyucksmells @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch

#tom holland #harry holland #sam holland #paddy holland #holland!reader #tom holland x holland!reader #petersasteria #k's works #sour album

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

What’s your opinion for Leo’s reaction to finding out the mc was immortal as well- not necessarily a vampire, maybe they’re some other type of supernatural. I’m really curious because Leo seems like he’s mainly in love with the mc bec they are human.

Hi lovely!!! Always wonderful to see you, hope you’re well! 💛💛💛💛💛

Tbh I think my opinion remains the same about something like this? I'm going to link to an ask I wrote up a while ago, only because it's v pertinent to the subject matter and good background for what I’m going to expand on here.

That being said, I'm happy to kind of tl;dr/expand on what I talked about there. Basically I had the feeling that Leonardo choosing MC as a lover was more circumstantial--regarding the state of his life in the moment, regarding his general feelings about vampires and vampire society, and regarding his unresolved trauma as a young kid.

I guess my answer to that question--and forgive me if it seems like a cop out--is that it really depends, I feel? I think his attraction has a lot more to do with the kind of person somebody is, their sensibility, more than it has to do with mortal vs immortal. If it was an immortal MC that showed ridiculous fortitude and self-control, measured patience and maturity, I really don’t see him not noticing that? I think he would be wary at first (assuming it’s all a front) but with time would likely feel a great deal of love if they were interested in a life together. If they were able to see and understand what he needs and answered those needs, I guess I just really doubt his ability to say no. It’s all he’s really looking for, and the fact that he hasn’t found it after so long really speaks to his frightened evasiveness and the rare nature of that kind of unshakeable strength.

I also think a lot of his hinging away from purebloods (true immortals, in other words) is that he 100% does not want his familia having any involvement in his meaningful relationships. Which might be why he shows more acceptance towards turned vampires, or potentially different supernatural beings.

But I also don’t like giving a vague answer without some kind of explanation as to how I got, to that conclusion, so a boatload of analysis follows below the content warning.

Spoilers for Leonardo’s route and a few mentions of JPN ver content:

I think he has less of an obsession with the idea of mortality, and more like a constant association of goodness and freedom and maturity with humanity. And while it's understandable, there are signs that--when he has the proper time and space to heal--his views seem to soften from those extremes. I mean his decision to live with Comte is pretty much his first step in that direction; it was him acknowledging for the first time that vampires aren't inherently loathsome or incapable of normal living. (On a revealing note, I think it says a lot that he agrees with MC that she is living in a “wolves’ den” but also feels the need to clarify the men are basically the domesticated equivalent. They don’t pose the same threat other vampires typically do to humans because of their lifestyle and sire.) Additionally, his tsun-like behavior towards Comte also seems to solidify this concept for me: Leonardo’s trying to come to terms with something he's sworn to reject since he was young, but also can't entirely deny that Comte is as chill and mature as purebloods come lmao

[There was also an event in the JPN ver–which seems to be approaching the ENG version rapidly, though only the first part is here right now–in which Leonardo fully offers to turn her. MC is essentially on her death bed, and Leonardo doesn’t want to lose her after so little time together; it’s MC that rejects the future as a vampire out of sheer principle. Even more noteworthy is that, when a reincarnation of MC is reunited with Leonardo in modern times, he is revealed to be exceptionally shaken by that loss. There are suggestions he can’t take losing her again, which could mean succumbing to the desire to bite her.]

Two things I feel are necessary to hit home:

The first being that, at least within the storyline so far, the most mature and human-like vampires we’ve seen are Leonardo and Comte. They seek to emulate the maturity they see reflected in the human beings they’ve known all their lives. Given how vampire society and their hierarchies work, I get the feeling humans are nothing more than amusing tools to them--a way to survive and creatures to exercise control over. There’s an objectification and delusion that comes with what I’ve seen, and I think it’s important in this discussion? If the vast majority of vampires behave this way (because I’m ngl, Leonardo and Comte don’t seem very keen on remaining in touch with other vampires all that much) then it only makes sense they prefer the company of humans who can at least share this sensibility of “been there, done that--stop hurting people bc you’re bored/repressed, grow up.”

One event story where this was exceedingly evident was actually Leonardo’s proposal story. If y’all remember, an old pal/acquaintance of Leonardo’s finds out he’s gunning for a human woman and basically goes “lmao not on my watch.” His name was Adam iirc, and he felt he had every liberty to try and pressure Leonardo into turning MC. Failing that, he insisted they should break up and not be together anymore. Now, on the one hand, it’s fair to say that he was looking out for Leonardo in a way–he didn’t want him to end up miserable and alone when she was gone. But at the same time I feel that Adam’s behavior is deeply revealing of vampire society as well lmao. He doesn’t really try to understand the situation, just immediately assumes it’s the only appropriate outcome. It does insinuate a lowkey cultural disdain for humanity: they are imperfect, they do not last or cannot have real value without preservation. If Adam was really Leonardo’s friend, wouldn’t he realize that Leonardo considers vampirism nothing more than a burden that he would wish on no one, much less his future wife? Additionally, wouldn’t he also keep in mind that Leonardo considers human beings beautiful just as they are? Since he fails these basic requirements to understand Leonardo, my impression is that he is influenced by the larger vampire culture to some extent. Furthermore, it underscores just how thoroughly Leonardo has been trained to keep his cards close to his chest for fear of ridicule/violent reprisal: no vampires know his true feelings on the matter because he would be vehemently rejected outright.

[One can also offer that maybe Adam wasn’t being malicious, maybe vampires find human women they fall in love with all the time and turn them (or any other permutation of companionship that occurs), so he doesn’t understand why Leonardo wouldn’t. But even then, to try to force them to break up if she doesn’t turn? A bit overkill imo but also revealing--Leonardo’s will is being ignored for the sake of upholding a kind of ill-founded superiority complex lmao]

While Leonardo does have a somewhat overbearing need to control the pacing of his relationship and who sacrifices what, I don’t think it’s wrong to be cautious--to want to think things through. I think it’s fair to be afraid that the person you’re with can’t handle what you’ve seen/known. But that also leads me to a core issue I have with MC: she doesn’t inspire much confidence that she can handle the life he’s lived, and that’s a problem of both incapacity and incompatibility. I have to wonder how he reacts when he’s with somebody at the same maturity level, or at the very least somebody with whom he can see her strength with time. When MC’s life was dying out he was desperate enough to accept biting her because he didn’t want to lose her–human or not. It’s MC that rejects this solution, which leads me to further believe that he just doesn’t care about the divide when it comes down to it; it has more to do with his difficulty with being vulnerable and fully trusting someone to care about him. (Assuming they also have the fortitude to stay hopeful and relatively strong over the course of a very long life.)

In line with that, the second thing I think it’s important to acknowledge is how deeply hurt Leonardo is as a result of his family treating him like a fool/black sheep. He outright says and heavily insinuates that his family would write her off as worthless, that they’d never accept her--that's his first thought:

Leonardo: “My familia would call you frail. I think you’re strong and beautiful. You do more with your time than we try to do with ours.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MC: “And those letters were from your familia?”

Leonardo: “Yeah. I don’t talk to them or see them anymore. We don’t agree...on a lot of things.”

[Brief intermission here. But lmao. Who does that sound like? If any of you guessed Isaac, that’s exactly what I’m alluding to. Isaac says in his own route smth along the lines of “Why bother trying to get through to people when no amount of talking does any good or gets you any closer to being understood?” Which also explains the way they get along to uncanny degrees: they find comfort in making things/researching because it means being able to avoid the distress that comes with being blatantly misunderstood by others. Their pain simply comes in different dimensions; for Leo it’s about loss and hiding who he is out of fear of rejection, for Isaac it’s about betrayal and people turning on him--ultimately abandonment for both. But I digress, back to the main argument.]

Leonardo: “Once they discovered my location, they began hounding me with letters again. They don’t want me to be with just anyone...They want more purebloods. I’m no more than one half of an equation for them.”

There is a clear implication that his desire to choose somebody that truly makes him happy means jack shit to them. They keep talking over him and trying to wear him down to force him into what they want. It’s no wonder--imo--that he has such a hard time just saying what he wants in his life, to feel like he has the freedom to wish and pursue anything freely. It’s no wonder he just expects MC to spit on everything that’s important to him. It appears as though only other human beings in general and Comte have ever come close to understanding him.

At some point MC realizes that his insistence on being compagni provvisori was originally just another act of sacrifice, and that he was fine with giving up his time and a little privacy if it meant she would be safe. The thing she doesn’t seem to realize in the course of this--and he struggles to say it until later on--is that it stopped being blind generosity. He really did start to fall in love with her, and that’s the whole reason things became even more messy; because he didn’t anticipate not being able to let go on top of the vulnerability. And it’s a big part of why he’s hesitating to speak. He feels he has no right to those feelings, and that he’s imposing on her--not that he’ll be welcome.

And when she did finally admit those feelings were welcome, it was compounded by the parroted views of his family and larger vampire society as a whole. Saying that she herself wasn’t enough, that she had to become a vampire to make him happy. Imo that sounds very potentially retraumatizing given his experiences (people trying to force him into marriages with other vampires who didn’t remotely understand or care about him because it was “the right way of things”). It’s no wonder he freaks out and does something incredibly stupid and insensitive–which is pretty insanely ooc for him.

Leonardo: “...It shocked them. Quieted them down a bit. Hard to get peace when your familia is immortal. Grazie, cara mia.”

Leonardo: “You’re strong, and you’re kind. So probably you won’t cry while I’m here to see it. But when I’m not looking, you’ll cry. If I had done that to you (bitten her, in other words), you’d still be crying when I wasn’t watching... Maybe it’s selfish of me, after what I did, but I just wanted to make you happy. You always look pretty, cara mia, but your smile takes my breath away...It’s not your destiny to love someone who will only make you cry.”

This man literally cannot handle anyone deeply sad or in despair. He’s always going to try to cheer people up and care about them, but general tragedy/emotional discord affects him very powerfully--and it’s likely a reflection of what I’ve mentioned before. He can’t bear to see people feeling helpless or miserable because he’s just been there too many times to be able to cope. He wants to help and heal (even if he’s suffering from prolonged compassion fatigue), but he knows that his powers are limited--even if he is a pureblood.

And the thing is? While it’s misguided to believe she would cry alone when it comes to the context of healthy romantic love (bc the idea would be that you lean on each other when something upsetting happens) he has zero reference point. He was not born as a result of authentic love (his parents never married, he was the result of a procreative arrangement), his family talks over every wish and belief he has and they still claim it’s done out of love/honest concern for him. One can only imagine the serpentine and obnoxious lengths to which his family has deceived or tried to force him into reconnecting with them. Every person that ever did know him/care about him in a real way is gone. Love, for him, has only been a series of losses that left his heart hollowed out; I don’t really blame him for expecting further disappointment and isolation and exhaustion. 

He’s also not wrong in the sense that he partially saw MC do what he outlined, and it’s a big part about what he loves about her. When she was feeling alone and lost–powerless–all she did was shrug and move forward. That doesn’t make it hurt any less, but focusing on what you can do instead of what you can’t do is healthier. And they both have the tendency to hide when they’re in pain or feeling lost, all because they don’t want to trouble anyone. Remember that when he says this, it’s a reflection of himself too: because even if he was heartbroken beyond measure, all he would do is hide it every second; he would never expect anyone to see right through him or care.

I mean I tend think of that one post I saw that talked about how people often see themselves as a social burden when most of their life has just been a series of neglect and loss. They don’t really have a concept of “you’re not heavy because I want to stay with you. It’s my choice to care about you.” How do you feel worthwhile an existence when four hundred years later your family still won’t treat you with basic dignity. The men in the mansion also all look to him for guidance and soothing because of the kind of person he is–he’s either silent in the periphery or helping. He never betrays so much as an inkling of insecurity or distress. 

I mean the whole reason Leonardo comes to the mansion is because he has absolutely no issue helping Comte in a pivotal time of need without seeking much of anything in return. Remember that Comte explains how Leonardo came to the mansion in response to Comte’s distress about the future. This makes sense considering Comte was rapidly trying to stop Vlad by beating him to the punch, and had only enough time to plan the basics. He had no certainty things would work out, much less that his boys would thrive. But Comte, unlike the boys, has become acutely aware of how much Leonardo is hiding his fatigue and despair in the course of being helped. As such, he wants to return the favor--and tries to be a good friend to him as much as he can (handles his insane familia, keeps things light and silly time between them, takes him seriously as a person, doesn’t pry beyond what’s fair.)

[I also think of that psychology concept of “the good enough mother.” It’s not always about being perfect every second of your life. It’s about paying attention and acting where it really counts. I feel like people who grow up under an enormous burden of neglect or parental/mentor abuse have a hard time coming to terms with the idea. This notion that just trying is enough for a lot of people, that showing them they’re not alone is enough to make  difficult memories bearable. Because it’s the oppressive silence and apathy that tends to kills people, imo--not people who mean well. But Leonardo doesn’t really understand any kind of reciprocal or non-self-emptying model because the concept is beyond him. He has no experience with it beyond Comte and a select few humans he’s befriended.]

Let’s continue on this point of MC crying where he can’t see her, shall we? The reason this scares him so much is not because he doesn’t care, or doesn’t want to make the effort. It’s precisely that he cares to the point of madness. It’s that he is legitimately convinced nothing he has to say, nothing that he can do, no part of him is enough to ease what she will have to trade away to stay with him. The core issue is not one of disregard or objectification, I find it to be more about his belief that he just isn’t enough. He doesn’t trust that anyone can love him to the point where just the sight of him or time with him can heal. And while there is a foolishness to this belief, it’s understandable when you consider where he’s coming from. You can call it selfishness, but it just feels involuntary--he has a lot of fear when it comes to love.

I mean Comte even says it himself? His words here always strike me: “I want you to understand, it’s because he cherishes you just as you are--more than he cares about his future or his well-being.”

Comte is openly identifying the way that Leonardo has a tendency to give more than is healthy. That Leonardo isn’t hesitating because his feelings are lacking, he’s doing it because he knows it’s going to hurt like a bitch trying to love her and never ask beyond what feels reasonable. (Spoilers: no request is reasonable. That’s the problem here. He’s convinced he deserves nothing.) Therefore turning her into a vampire to stay with him is--consequently, to Leonardo--out of the question. This is the literal hingepoint at which Comte and Leonardo divide; Comte simply tells MC he’ll take full responsibility for asking so much of her. He intends to make her happy with every single resource and skill he has at his disposal. Even if he doubts his ability or fears losing her to vampire rhetoric madness, he’d rather try than live with the regret and immediate loss. Leonardo is more resistant because of his dour outlook, that her fear of immortality is never going to be something that either of them can overcome. And/or he’s likely afraid she’s only going to regret being together after so long, and might succumb to the ridiculous sort of power/greed complexes vampires seem so attracted to by nature.

I think Leonardo is still coming to terms with the idea that he isn't alone in the world in a lot of ways, and I think he's also coming to terms with the idea that immortality does not equate to evil. Sure, human beings on average are probably more open to flexible modes of thinking and living compared to vampires--their maturity is in some ways guaranteed due to the instances they're forced to adapt to survive. However, just one look at the ruling class and oligarchies of all kinds (even just stubborn human beings) reveals how they are not immune to the same sort of megalomania, arrogance, and thoughtless violence purebloods/vampires are capable of.

So I guess I hesitate when it comes to the thought that he only loves her because she's human. If anything, I think he loves her for the fact that she's very rooted in reality--not quite so bound by the extremes that trouble him. It's one of the many reasons I believe Leonardo needs a lot of maturity and patience; the ability to differentiate between his panicked/overwhelmed/hurt reactions versus his calm is a skill in and of itself considering his capacity for concealment. To say nothing of getting him to slow down when this happens, too.

I suppose I think about it in a way that’s similar to how Napoleon’s main story narrative is framed. While Leonardo’s route doesn’t focus on the grandeur of being a former emperor, there is a clear insinuation here that he also craves normalcy? Just a little life, with a person he loves dearly, where he can rest and be himself for once. I think because he gives off such an appearance of steadiness, people fail to see that he is barely holding on--not to mention the kind of experiences he’s been deprived of (the exact security and understanding he so expertly emulates).

Closer to your question, it’s worth mentioning that Leonardo’s life goal for a while was the creation of an immortal human being--in that he fully recognized human beings could not offer what he needed as they were.

He loves humans because of their adaptability, their frequent desire to keep seeking out hope and making the best of the broken pieces they have. But then again, it has more to do with the nature of how frequently that sensibility occurs in humans vs vampires (and immortality in general): mortality does demand some level of necessity to change and grow. Which is one of the largest trauma points for him; the vampires around him just refused to grow up, always demanding at him like children and obsessed with their power complexes.

Thing is I also don't know enough about vampire society to know how correct this perceived ratio is. However, given Comte's similar avoidance of other vampires and general inability to live with them (he and Vlad were literal childhood best friends and Comte can't stand him anymore lmao) I think Leonardo may have more validity here than people give him credit for. Which begs the question--why did he quit trying to make a human immortal? What was it that stopped him? Was it the horror of what needed to be done to achieve it? Or would a potential companion start to fall more in love with the idea of immortality than they do with life itself/him? I think it’s a worthwhile question to ask, given the disdain he seems to aim at Shakespeare in particular--once human, but now emulates all of the violence and insatiability marked by vampirism.

This is where the transition from human to vampire/immortal contains another hingepoint: is Leonardo so incapable of finding a middle ground because he feels like any choice he makes will be a wrong one? Marry a human, deprive them of a normal love where they can grow old together. Marry a human and turn them, what if they are reborn with immortal wounds/psychological harm? What if time proves they get bored of him or hateful, what if they begin to act like the predatory purebloods he hates so much? Marry a pureblood/immortal, and be hounded by his family for heirs--risk being with somebody who will never love him or their children, and only inspire more misery in the world.

Does it make sense how this can really start to become an anxious downspiral for someone like him? How the personal insecurity and life history comes together to just compound stress endlessly?

That's the thing that's important here, I think. Leonardo just needs somebody who is open-minded, firm, and not easily deceived. If one takes a look at Leonardo's main story route, the whole reason everything goes to shit so disastrously is because MC stops listening at a critical point. Granted Leonardo could have been more forthcoming for sure, but when she started assuming Shakespeare was right instead of seeing how Leonardo was feeling/reacting, she responded in ways Leonardo wasn't prepared for. He never wanted to shake her faith or insinuate whatever she is is not good enough for him, and tbh I think Leonardo downspiraled because it was just the same thing all over again. What he is--a vampire and immortal--keeps ruining everything he wants with his life. 

#asks #ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp meta #ikevamp leonardo #ikevamp leo #ikevamp saint germain #ikevamp comte #can you tell i think too hard about these things kjhdglshf #sorry this reply took me a little longer than i meant to--but i really did want to do the topic proper justice!! #leonardo is such a dear person to me and I can't help but sympathize #people are free to disagree with this but it's just how i feel about the topic #the more i see about him in event stories--the sense this his trembling heart is slowly easing--the less i can believe such things matter #to him all that much tbh #i also think the event where he loses her is just all the more telling too? #i feel like if it really was a matter of principle and not love he would have just accepted it #humans have a v short lifespan--what can be done #sort of reaction #but that's not how he reacted at all: he was a man beside himself with dread and sadness #and even when he meets her reincarnation he can't help but want to be with her again #iirc he starts shaking at the slightest mention of when she died--and shows a lot less ability to resist the urge to turn her #so anywho brief summation is that i think this is more about so many sad boy hours and fear of widespread immortal megalomania #than it is abt hatred for immortality #he has no confidence good things can last without being warped--and that's the key issue here #'nothing gold can stay' #long post #rambles #not incorrect quotes #if you manage to read this without falling asleep i applaud you ajkhldghkfjsdg #thanks for the ask tho--i love any excuse to yell abt leo <333

[bonesingerofyme-loc]

Let’s discuss Eliksni

This current season, Season of the Splicer, has a focus on Mithrax and the House of Light and Eliksni in particular as a species. Following with the landmark alliance between Caitl’s leftover Imperial Cabal and the Vanguard, now Mithrax has founded the House of Light and reached out a hand of peace to the Last City.

To this end, he has offered his services to the Tower and the Vanguard and in return, Ikora offered the House of Light resettlement within the City limits, under the Traveler.

This is the start of how incredibly poorly thought out everyone has acted in this season.

Ikora offered shelter to the House of Light without Consensus approval - hell, without even consulting with Zavala. She invited aliens into the Last City unilaterally, which, yeah, no shit that’s going to cause friction. 

Mithrax, in the first mission, when we chat with him, Osiris and Lakshmi in the Fallen Quarter, states that he will keep his House here and away from the rest of the City. We then have quite a few lorecards from weapons and whatnot detailing Eliksni out and about, alone, in the greater City. So was that a lie, Mithrax?

I get what the angle is here. I really do.

But allegory is fucking stupid.

There is nothing remotely similar between the Fallen/Human relations in the Destiny universe and hostile relations between nations or peoples on Earth IRL.

I think it’s all too easy for a reader to forget that Eliksni are alien. No matter how different a person’s culture might be on Earth, they are still human. They are still exactly the same as anyone else. You can look at them and see yourself. Their internal existence is, at least if you’re not going full solipsist, the same as your own. And you can bet on that because they’re human. We all grew up on the same planet. We all ate the same things, shat under the same stars, watched the same moon come up at night. It doesn’t matter from which corner of the globe you’re from or the divergence of phenotype, we’re all still human, closer than close. 

Eliksni (and Cabal, and Hive, etc) are alien. They are fundamentally different in a way that two cultural groups on Earth can never, ever be. Their brain chemistry is nowhere remotely comparable, assuming they even have brains in the way we’d describe it. There is no way to bridge the species gap about internal lives and existence - they are intrinsically other. They share none of the same, most  fundamental experiences of being that humans do, just as we do not for them. 

This isn’t to say that an alien can’t be empathized with or treated fairly, what I’m saying is that you cannot, in any way, compare an alien to a human, especially in how a person would relate or react to them.

Take a horrible war on Earth. From any time period. You’re going to have belligerents on both sides, deep-seated dislike and hatred of each other. But these things can pass and there are always, always those who are against it on either side. And they fade away. The scars can remain, at times, but these differences are driven by cultural rivalries and those cultures can fade away or move together. And over time can be lost in the collective visage of humanity, which does not bear a brand on it’s sleeve of ancient allegiance to one or another.

Do you know what cannot ever change? Biology. An alien will always be alien, no matter how close you associate with them or how long. There will always be a deep, fundamental disconnect in some major areas that cannot be crossed because you cannot be them and they cannot be you. 

And this is fine - a human should be human and an eliksni should be eliksni, or insert whatever favorite alien you have there. 

What gets me, though, is when writers treat ‘race’ and ‘species’ as interchangeable. It’s why I tend to take issue with using ‘race’ when referring to fantasy species, especially when there is no interbreeding possible. Dwarves and elves can get a little loosy-goosy there. 

You have these lorecards about Eliksni getting hate crime’d by the human population in the Last City or being shunned or prejudiced against and the r/dtg subreddit is all up in arms about the evil civilians and it’s like look - they’re aliens.

The fuck else did you expect?

This isn’t a case of accepting some human refugees in, this is a group of aliens that for seven hundred years have been the bogeyman for very real and very literal reasons. 

Humans have positive experiences with other humans all throughout life.

Humanity has not had a single positive experience with aliens since we learned alien life exists. I’m excluding the Traveler here, frankly, because it’s a cosmic god. 

For the seven hundred or so years that alien life has been a reality for the human race, they have been devoured, hunted to extinction, brutally sacrificed, used as torture fodder, used to feed eldritch gods and other, lovely, lovely things. 

Is it any surprise that the first time alien faces are seen in the Last City it’s met with hostility? There are zero positive experiences with aliens for all of humanity. The only ones who have had some are Guardians. The face of an alien means death or worse. The face of a human can mean that but again - we know so many humans in our lives, of all stripes. Here though, an alien, any alien, any face that is not comfortably human, means death. Something that the entire population of the Last City was very forcibly and violently reminded of just recently with Ghaul’s invasion and the subsequent slaughters that happened. Did we forget the citizens thrown to the warbeasts to be devoured?

The eliksni of House Light don’t deserve the hostility, of course. But it’s not surprising and really, it’s not the fault of the civilians. The fault is squarely on the shoulders of Ikora for deciding this incredibly poorly thought out move unilaterally and Mithrax for not recognizing that this was going to happen.

Because it goes both ways. Fallen haven’t had a single positive experience with aliens in all their existence, either, remember. For them, any alien, including humans, meant death. The thing with Saint-14 being a demon? Excellent! Perfect in showcasing this dynamic! But the stupidity is in recognizing this and then just going ‘lmao nah just give them free range in the Tower which is infested with Guardians, which they’re going to be terrified of.’ This is the purest of idiocy, a complete failure of leadership on all sides and is really quite insensitive to the needs of both species. 

So is the solution permanent segregation of species? No, but it’s definitely not just letting Fallen wander at whim and go to fucking ramen shops. This is seven hundred years of human-side bias and god-knows how long for eliksni to overcome. 

Aliens aren’t human. It bothers me when they’re treated that way because it’s lazy. This is a unique and fascinating angle in a story, one that is uniquely science fiction. Treating it as just a clumsy allegory for human relations is a waste of text (and also, ironically, a bit insulting to what the allegory is about. Unless you’re cool with implying that some people are as inhuman and inscrutable as literal bug aliens which is a yikes from me, dawg).

Maybe the salient point that Bungie is trying to make this season is that Ikora and Mithrax are complete knobheads and worthless leaders, but I’m gonna hazard that’s not the case.

#destiny #destiny 2 #destiny season of the splicer #eliksni #house of light #allegory is shit

[purple-dragon]

in defense of chapter 139 (spoilers!)

it's still hard for me to get my thoughts in order so this might be a little disjointed but:

the (seemingly) extremely unpopular opinion: i liked it. a lot.

first let me go over the things i'm !!!! about that don't need further discussion: EXTRA FUZZY CONNIE!!!! jean and connie live!!! jean and connie see sasha and get some closure!!!! lmao this is just the jean and connie show isn't it

okay next. did the chapter feel a little rushed? yes, of course. is there stuff i wish was elaborated on? yeah, no shit. i wanted to see how the battle with hallu-chan ended. i wanted to see historia's side of the story. i wanted to see ymir's side of the story. if yams ever decides to come out with a series of epilogues or something that go more in depth, i would 100% support that. i want more. however, i'm still happy with this chapter because even though it didn't answer all of my questions, it was thematically consistent with the rest of the work. the ending made sense with where the entire manga has been building up to. it wasn't some kind of ass pull that came out of nowhere.

on ymir... i'm a little conflicted on how her story ended. i interpreted her backstory like this: she was in "love" with fritz the only way she knew how to be. fritz slaughtered and enslaved ymir's people, and yet he gave her attention, favor (i'm assuming), and sex (which we know to be rape, but she probably did not). this of course isn't actually love, but to an orphan with quite literally nothing else and no one to teach her differently, it must be love, right? it's got all the right ingredients (but we know it has none of the necessary dynamic).

so with all of that, ymir had no concept of what love actually is until mikasa came along. mikasa, who, much like ymir, loved someone so much that she dedicated her whole life to him. who would willingly lay down her life for him, just as ymir did for fritz. they're incredibly alike wrt the people they love, but with this major difference: mikasa is able to put herself and the world first, even if it means killing eren, while ymir has chained herself, intentionally or not, to fritz for 2000 years. mikasa ends up being the real inspiration for ymir - that's why we saw her smiling at the end of 138, because she sees the real, true love between eren and mikasa, but mikasa is still free, so ymir can free herself too.

actually, now that i've typed all that out, the more i realize that i like it, i just wish we saw it, rather than me interpreting a whole character based on a handful of panels.

now i guess i'll talk about reiner and levi? first off, i'm so so so happy that they both survived. levi was arguably the most damaged character through the whole series, and reiner was actively suicidal - i know a lot of people thought they were going to die as the end to their character arcs, but i'm so glad they didn't. i'm very happy that they both get the chance to rest and heal from everything that happened. reiner gets the chance to figure out what he wants to do with his relationship with his mother (and he's still simping for historia alskdfjasld), levi can live quietly (with the kids!!!!!!). they've both found something new to live for and i love it

also,,, gabi and falco are so cute i love them so much (wish udo and zofia were here too tho,,,)

okay. to the meat of the chapter.

i can't fit all of my thoughts on eren here, i'd have to write a whole essay on him, but i will say a little. i didn't see this chapter as a character assassination at all - i saw it as us finally seeing what was under the hard, cold mask he's been wearing since the time skip. because like, we know eren. at his core, he's the same emotional person he's always been - more grown up for sure, and more of an edgelord, but still him? and he must have been in constant pain, seeing all of time all the time... my poor boy. and even knowing that he has become an irredeemable monster, he still wants to live with mikasa and his friends, winning their freedom at the cost of his own... that's tragic, man. that shit hurted.

"thank you for becoming a mass murderer for us" excuse me??? armin??? sir hello?? is this allowed hello??? armin what the fuck?

also,,, did eren reincarnate as a bird? is that what that was implying? what was up with the birds through the story then?

eren and armin finally seeing the world together... i am in Pain

hooooooly shit, that dina reveal was not at all what i expected out of this chapter. like i knew the theory was out there, but i didn't expect it to be confirmed at all? i've seen the interpretation that eren just directed her into shiganshina, or that he directed her straight to carla, and tbh i like the second one more. it's darker and more messed up and i just think it's neat. ymmv, though.

i don't know how anyone thinks this is a happy ending, rather than bittersweet or outright tragic. like sure, our favorite characters are alive (except the obvious), but the world is still massively fucked and will be for the foreseeable future. 80% of humanity is dead, there's probably even more wildlife gone, and most of nature has been absolutely flattened. ecologically speaking, eren might have pushed this world into a mass extinction. additionally, removing titan powers from the world wasn't a magic ticket to peace - all it did was level the playing field between countries, and we can see that where the alliance becomes ambassadors and it says in the narration "this fight won't end until either the eldians or the rest of the world is wiped out". the equivalent to this would be to magically remove all nukes from existing and stop them from being made in our world - would it magically bring peace? no. of course not. would it put countries on a slightly more equal footing? perhaps.

basically, what i'm trying to say is that the fight hasn't ended, it's only been brought down to a human v human level, rather than human v titan v technology. what the implications of that for the world are, i don't know, and i wish yams had elaborated on that a little.

what eren did, then, with the rumbling, was give back the world's choice. there's no more titan threat, no more of his friends being forced to fight and die in 13 years, no more babies born with their choice to fight already stolen from them. he gave them freedom by eliminating the titans - exactly what he said he was going to do.

also on that note, what is up with the jaegerists? it seems like in and before the rumbling, all the extremists died out? maybe? like floch and his ilk, and that's why they aren't rushing to massacre the rest of the world, but who really knows... i want more post-rumbling worldbuilding...

finally (i think), that brings me to mikasa. i'm... not mad about the way we see her story end, tbh. i've seen people saying she just stays on paradis forever with eren, alone and practically in exile, but i don't think that's it? like we only see the gang 3 years in the future. mikasa loved eren so much, she dedicated her life to him from the time they were 9, and in the end he died because she killed him. let that sink in, y'know? the love of her life didn't just die, she killed him herself. if it were me, it would take me a lot longer than just 3 years to heal from that. and i think that's what we see her doing there at the end - resting and healing from undoubtedly some of the worst moments of her life. healing from grief isn't a quick or linear process; you don't just get over something like that. i know the saying goes "time heals all wounds" but sometimes it doesn't.

if we saw her maybe 10 years down the line, it might be a different story. maybe she would be in a much better place, with her own new family and goals. maybe she would be worse off, still missing eren and stuck in the past. i don't think that would be the case, though who knows? but for 3 years in the future, i think chilling on paradis with the memory of eren was the right place to leave her.

here's what i like to think happens in the future (and this is why i love semi-open endings, because some things are concrete but there's so much left open to interpretation): over the years mikasa heals, as does the world. she goes traveling the world with armin, and sees the rest of her friends often. she and levi are close - you can often find them having tea together. on occasion, she returns to paradis to share stories of her adventures with eren('s grave). in the end, she lives according to her definition of happiness, whatever that may be now, and though she never forgets eren, she keeps moving forward, and much like reiner and levi, finds a new purpose in life.

annnddd... that's all. unless i come back to add something i forgot about later, but we'll see if that happens.

#long post #snk #aot #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #spoilers #snk 139 #snk spoilers #in defense of chapter 139 #the dragon does meta

[the-starset-system]

Do you got any ideas for increasing communication? I really wanna talk to my system but it's so hard :(

I could just give you the common advice but you can find all of that with a quick Google search. Lemme give you some stuff that's personally helped us:

GET OUTTA mY RoOm IM PLAyiNG MINECRAF

Lmao I couldn't resist, but yee, Minecraft has actually helped us communicate more than anything. It gives everyone creative freedom and with mechanics like signs and books it's easy to leave notes within the game. The littles adore it too :D

I actually have a lot to say about playing as a system on Minecraft, so I might make a separate post if any of you want to hear. I'll probably be discussing how it helps and how to set all that stuff up, since figuring out how everything would work with inventory and stuff rattled our brain at first (;ŏ﹏ŏ)

Art!

Creating things is a great way to learn more about your system and maybe uncover trauma details in a more gentle fashion! We personally draw and write, but music, dance, videos, etc. all work!

It doesn't even have to be about your system, it could be feelings or thoughts. Just something to pick your brain, to learn more about yourself since it's easy to fall down a pit when you don't know who you are, let alone your system.

That's one of the most important things in my opinion, having a grounded sense of self before really jumping into everything. When we jumped in not really knowing who we are ourselves it was hard to understand one another and I do believe that carelessness still affects us to this day, so just try to understand your own self as well

Don't laugh, but dress up games

Yeah yeah I know the kinda reputation some of them hold, but when we first discovered we were a system and started trying to work together that was the first thing we done. We knew we didn't identify with this body, but at the same time a majority of us were particularly unsure of what we did look like. Having little avatars to dress up was so helpful cause we would ask ourselves "does this feature have any significance?" or "Why am I attached to this certain feature?". Slowly after sifting through different options we could say "that's me". It was really reassuring and helped us recognize each other. It even helped with figuring out who was fronting because someone would feel unsettled about a certain feature being missing.

We still use little apps sometimes for fun or if someone new split / came out of dormancy :]

Making time

This is gonna sound silly, but think of communicating with your system the same way you would in a relationship. This is something you're likely gonna be dealing with for a good while so it's good to have close bonds with everyone. Bonds are the key to communicating cause I mean, would you wanna talk to someone you dislike?? If you're having trouble with system conflict I'd recommend checking out my other post I made about it.

But where does making time come into this? Aha sorry I actually got off topic but I feel like it's important regardless so I ain't erasing it-

What I mean by making time is well, making time. It's harder to communicate when there's so much going on around you cause you'll get distracted. What we do is set out however much free time we have that day to bundle up in our room and pretend we're sleeping, when in reality the low amount of sensory stimuli makes it easy to focus on talking to everyone. This doesn't always goes as planned, sometimes we just have bad days and can't communicate. If that's the case we'll keep trying for a few minutes before going off to do something else.

That's one thing to always remember, everyone has bad day and that's okay!

So, those are some ideas, but I also wanted to go over some things you should avoid too, kinda like do's and dont's!

Forcing communication

There's often a reason someone in the system avoids communicating, as well as a reason you may not be able to communicate with anyone. At the end of the day you gotta remember this was formed out of survival, needing to not be able to communicate, to forget, in order to properly function.

If things aren't helping then maybe give it some time, you might just not be at a good point in your life right now and your brain knows, saying "hey, we still don't feel too good, I wanna be prepared for any other tough situations we might go through" and that's okay. The mass media loves to portray ppl with DID having flawless communication and that's just not the truth. People understand it's a hard battle and I can assure you many in the community have your back :]

Fake claiming

-One of my worst habits, it's easy to say "no that's not real". Sometimes it might not be but I know from my own mistakes that more than likely it is. It can hurt a lot of system members, making them feel like their voice doesn't matter or even make them go on a spiral if they really are real.

I don't really have much more to say, it's pretty self explanatory. Just keep an open mind

You don't have to be differentiated

Another thing we're all guilty of, we thought we had to all act super different to be valid. Spoiler alert: you're valid no matter what

Once again, I feel like it's pretty self explanatory, but forcing yourself to be different from x, y, and z person sucks cause you never get to be yourself. You don't need to be differentiated, your perfect the way you are, regardless of who may share those same traits

That's all I can think of right now, but knowing me I'll come up with a million more things after I post this

I did come up with a really good explanation of what building communication is like though and I wanted to share:

Think of it as leveling up in a video game. All these tasks may seem useless but slowly your collecting XP and getting closer to your goal. That's why you gotta keep at it!

So, keep going on those seemingly useless quests and fighting that boss monster no matter how many times you get thrown to the ground, cause every last bit is worth it (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

I hope this helps! Sorry if I got a bit off topic! I have a habit of that (• ▽ •;) I was writing on and off so things may be a bit choppy. Aaaa sorryyyy but thank you for the askkkk! And remember, I am not a professional and my words should not replace / overwrite seeking professional help if possible! Regardless, I hope you have a good week! 💫

#roar.exe #👾 #ask response #advice #long post

[fizzingwizard]

So I’m sure you’re ALL on tenterhooks to find out what I thought of episode 36... the answer is.... LOVED IT!!!! No I really did. If you like Taishiro friendship, this is an essential episode to watch. Doesn’t blow me out of the water, but still just good.

Although Taichi has a big something to do as usual, it’s still very much a Koushirou episode. FREAKING YAY. I have a dozen thoughts about it, and what bugs me the most, of course, is how we needed this episode AGES ago ugh. But we’ve now had two or three episodes in a row that have actually felt like Digimon Adventure, so perhaps all that finger-crossing is working?

They could unravel all that good work in a minute by never addressing it again... or not letting Koushirou show his personality unless it’s his “turn” for an episode from here on... but you know, I will cross that bridge when we come to it.

Pic of the day:

“I don’t like people. But they are occasionally useful.” - 2020 Izumi Koushirou’s life lesson, lmao

*The red strip at the top is about the big earthquake that hit Eastern Japan yesterday. It’s annoying to have it there for the entire episode - usually they only stick around for a couple minutes - but this WAS a large earthquake. It caused many people to lose power. So making sure everyone knows what’s going takes precedence over Sunday morning cartoons. (I’m in Osaka and didn’t even feel it, but my friends in Tokyo prefecture very much did.)

Lots and LOTS of ranting from a rabid Taishiro fan under the cut!

(also I didn’t check for typos so. yeah)

The episode starts right off by assuring us this is a Koushirou episode. We get the trademark Izumi Koushirou floating in the void of space sequence, which is excellent and very encouraging framing.

Koushirou Kenobi: “Use the force, Taichi.”

Taichi: “Use it yourself.”

(the episode in a nutshell)

The initial thing that bugged me - okay, so the kids got separated for the umpteenth time many episodes ago, and since then we’ve stuck to Taichi like barnacles. The only glimpses we’d get of the other kids showed: Yamato running towards something, Koushirou flying towards something while researching the satellite malfunction, Jou in the hot springs, and Mimi at the crystal caves. For Jou and Mimi, I don’t care, because they never tried to move, but Yamato and Koushirou were constantly moving. Yet, in the end, it’s Taichi’s group that catches up with Koushirou, rather than the other way around. It DOES make sense - it seems like Koushirou told them to “meet at the giant gold pillar” because that’s where they needed to be to save the world, so it became the rendezvous point. But it just bugs me because, once again, all the activity is on Taichi’s side. But that’s a minor quibble. The end result is still THIS:

More of the team is together!!! Taichi and Koushirou are together!!! Yaaayy!!!

... the betting pool for how long it will be till the next separation is now open >.>

Poor Komodomon’s long mop dog fur is so dirty. “Fizz his fur always looks like that.” He’s tracking mud everywhere. “Fizz look at his ears his fur is supposed to look that way.” Next episode - everyone gives Komondomon a bath.

So the start of this episode is just a bunch of talking about how dire things are with the satellite situation. I’m not gonna bother translating. Watch the sub when it’s out if you really want to know :P The important thing is, the gold pillar is directly causing the malfunction, no one on Earth can stop the satellite from plummeting to Tokyo, the city is being evacuated, and there are only 20 minutes till impact.

Koushirou has an elaborate plan which Sora adorably sums up as “So, we’re gonna shoot it out of the sky *makes punching motion*”

The crux of Koushirou’s plan hinges on a repeat of how Omegamon saved Tokyo from the missile way back in like, episode 2 or 3. Taichi says, “Yeah, but I barely remember how we did that.” Which is hilarious because I don’t remember either because it was 30 EPISODES AGO. Once again this episode feels like it was meant to happen WAY EARLIER THAN IT DID. It’s just weird to be referencing something that happened 30 episodes ago after everything else that’s happened, AND on top of that, there are many references in this episode and none from later than like, episode 10 or 12. Making this all seem very oddly timed.

I’m not quite sure if, within the story itself, it matters that Taichi “doesn’t remember well.” He also doesn’t remember the Devimon battle where he and Agumon were infected with dark energy. That one makes sense for him not to remember. If that hadn’t happened, I would just take his “I don’t remember how we stopped the missile” to just mean it was so long ago. But together, it’s making me wonder if something else is going on.

Or maybe Taichi’s just been hit on the head one too many times (okay, that seems the most likely of all, haha)

People of Tokyo: Is it Godzilla again? I heard he’s itching to fight King Kong. You know, given how often our city is attacked by kaiju, some might wonder why we haven’t moved away by now. But home is home, ya know?

The group sets up to fly to the peak of the gold pillar. Obviously, without Yamato, there’s no Omegamon. No one points this out, but Koushirou seems very stressed with his plan, and it seems that he contacted Taichi in the first place because he thought “Taichi’s the one who can pull this off.”

After hearing the plan, Taichi shoots him through the heart with another “Koushirou, you’re so awesome!” and YAY I MISSED THIS SO MUCH!!!!!! *sobs*

Then he does his best to reassure Koushirou by remaining positive and determined that they can and will do this no matter how much Koushirou waves. The majority of the episode is them flying up the pillar while being assaulted by enemies trying to stop them, so it’s not like they get to talk about their feelings (lol). But at least we get a bunch of close ups of Koushirou’s and Taichi’s expressions, and that’s how we see this dynamic in play. Yes, Koushirou is the brainy one who made the plan, but he doesn’t have the confidence to take the lead, so he handed the reins to Taichi. As for Taichi - yes he has the confidence, yes he can do it... but he also has absolute faith in Koushirou. So that’s why this episode makes my little Koushirou fanatic heart skip a beat.

First of the enemies is this guy, aptly named BladeKuwagamon.

They’re actually pretty scary! They do real damage. (Blood in Digimon word is glowy unicorn-like stuff haha). Birdramon gets stabbed, but before Sora can get too upset, she just yanks the blade out of her chest...

... and then crushes it into dust with her beak.

Sora: Holy crap, my partner is metal AF.

Forgot to mention earlier but 5 whole minutes of the 20 minute countdown are used up just by digivolving apparently xD Taichi keeps asking Koushirou “how much time is left” and Koushirou’s panic grows more visible with each passing second...

MetaLiffeKuwagemon looks cooler than he is. Supposedly he’s there to bring out the big guns, but to be honest...

... the BladeKuwagamon don’t seem to need the help :P The enemy’s strategy is obvious: isolate each member of the team to prevent anyone from getting to the top. This is why Koushirou’s so stressed: he’s got a plan that is totally reliant on there being a leader strong enough to pull it off AND there being enough backup to protect that leader from the large number of enemies. And Koushirou doesn’t like these odds.

Garudamon gets stabbed AGAIN

Sora: Go on, we’ll be fine.

Taichi: Are you sure??

Garudamon: *DESTROYS EVERYTHING WITH FIRE*

I MEAN HONESTLY! Garudamon is not only my favorite of Piyomon’s evolutions, it’s pretty much my favorite Adventure evolution. Always has been since I was 11 years old. And she (and Sora) NEVER get that credit. Like. Growing up, with US dub Adventure, I interpreted Sora as more of a straight up tomboy than she is in the original. That’s okay, that’s whatever, but what was most important to me was that I saw her as the third “strong” member along with Taichi and Yamato. Those two were clearly in a class above her, but I saw her as being in the same “Taiorato” league. Garudamon seemed to prove that: she was so cool, so powerful, and... yeah, I just always thought she had so much potential to be awesome and never got why it wasn’t used. That’s also why I was disappointed in Tri - like, I liked Soushitsu, but I just wanted more from Sora’s arc. Same thing in Kizuna: I understand Sora’s arc, I don’t hate it or anything - I think it makes sense for her. But since I wanted something different for her all those years ago, it just left me feeling a bit flat.

but enough about other Digimon series :P Garudamon gets to be super cool here and I only hope we get to see more of it in this reboot. I’ll forgive it some of its other mistakes if we do :D

With Takeru/Hikari and Sora isolated by the BladeKuwagamon, it’s up to Taichi and Koushirou alone to race against the clock! Their teeth are clenched, sweat runs in rivulets down their skin, their hearts are pounding in desperation...

Koushirou: Taichi-san! If we don’t get to the top soon it’ll be too late!

Taichi: Just don’t call me late for dinner!

Koushirou: ASDFGHJKL;’ DAD JOKES NOW?? REALLY????????

MetaLiffeKuwagamon makes life that much harder by knocking them against the pillar. However, this is a pillar of data, which enabled the BladeKuwagamon to evolve into MetaLiffeKuwagamon in the first place. Bugs aren’t that bright.

Taichi and MetalGreymon are nearly submerged inside the pillar as a result, and then we get this sequence of red and black. The pillar had been emitting dark lightning, so I started to think... omg... is MetalGreymon gonna get a Dark Evolution???????

.... Nah. That would have made sense, but.... nah :P

Overall I’m glad though, because that would really have turned this into a Taichi episode instead of a Koushirou one.

I’m not personally certain what the point of bringing BlitzGreymon out was. I had figured he would be like, a super fast evolution that would enable them to make it to the top. That would also have turned this into a Taichi episode. But...

... Taichi tells Koushirou that he will have to go divert the satellite because Taichi has to deal with MetaLiffeKuwagamon.

I was both really pleased and really surprised. Because, again, now what’s the point of BlitzGreymon...? Why did we need a new Agumon evolution? There’s no particular reason why they couldn’t have just isolated Taichi with the enemy the same way the others were and had him tell Koushirou to keep going on his own then. They did do that, but first they gave him a new evolution. Why? Just because it’s cool?? I assume that must be the reason but we don’t even see BlitzGreymon fight xD It’s... it’s weird. But whatever.

Taichi: Go, Koushirou!!!!! You can do it!!!!!

Fiz: *dies a thousand brilliant deaths*

So, Koushirou tells Taichi that he can’t do it - he can support Taichi, but he can’t take the lead. Taichi’s just like that’s wack, dude, of course you can do it. What I LOVE about Taichi and Koushirou’s dynamic is just that: Taichi never sees Koushirou as a weakling. The fact that he’s small, or that he’s brains over brawn, or even that he’s kinda antisocial - those are all reasons an energetic, extroverted kid like Taichi might bully, or at least think poorly, of Koushirou.

But Taichi values Koushirou. He knows how hard he works and is impressed both by that hard work and his talent. What’s more, he doesn’t see Koushirou’s brains as his support system. The whole time Koushirou’s thinking he’s there to support Taichi with his plan, Taichi was thinking, “I’m here to support Koushirou’s plan.” That is SO, SO important. And that’s why I LOVE this episode. The one thing the reboot seemed to really understand, that hooked me from the start, was the way it just GOT Taichi and Koushirou. They each support and follow each other, while each feeling like the other is better than them. Ugh I could like, cry over Taishiro now... omg....

Taichi is successful in pushing Koushirou to go on, but of course Koushirou himself is still plagued with doubts. He reflects on how he’s always been fine being alone. He hasn’t particularly wanted friends and didn’t mind not having them, even though adults worried.

(Side note: this is a normal, if kinda rare, personality trait. I have it too. I always score Koushirou on “what Digimon character are you?” tests too lmao. Just like some people feel the need to be surrounded by others at all times, there are those whose social needs are very very low. I’m one of them. There’s nothing wrong with it except that even those people can get lonely and it’s easy to misunderstand them as shy or snobby. So what I love about Koushirou is, yes he learns to value his relationships more, but also learns to value himself. He is Koushirou: a brainy kid who’s happy on his own, but also happy with friends. While some people, like Mimi, struggle with that aspect of his personality, others, like Taichi, just accept it. To me that’s the best life lesson there is: there are always people who can and will be friends with you. Yes, I’ve lost friends because I just wasn’t social enough for them. But I have other friends who I’ve known for literal decades now. And I REALLY love those friends.)

Koushirou feels grateful that he has AlturKabuterimon, and also that he has Taichi. So... here he is, reflecting on the last time he had meaningful interaction with that great friend Taichi... back in episode three. -____________-

Seriously, this would mean a lot more if this dynamic had been built on continually until this episode...

Koushirou then briefly reflects on each of the other Chosen. Notably, every single solo image of them is from an episode that Koushirou either wasn’t in or wasn’t with them at the moment. Then we get this group image. It’s from EPISODE 12. (I’m actually not sure of the episode number but the point is, it’s from A LONG LONG TIME AGO. I think it’s the swamp episode??) That drives me NUTS. We shouldn’t have to reach soooo far back to find meaningful moments!!! Urk.

Koushirou makes it to the peak of the pillar and AlturKabuterimon attacks the satellite to drive it off course. We see the impression of what looks to be HerculesKabuterimon and I really thought we’d get an evolution - it seemed way more appropriate than freaking BlitzGreymon - but nope.

Oh well. Koushirou still saves the day. The people at home get to see the Crest of Knowledge take over their screens, hopefully giving rise to the idea that a nerd superhero is protecting them. Koushirou is the hero we deserve.

The satellite falls into the water. I was like, shouldn’t that cause a tsunami lol?

... be careful what you wish for >_>;

fortunately people were evacuated soooo things will be okay.

He did it!! He’s so happy! AlturKabuterimon’s triumphant holler is adorable.

Taichi and BlitzGreymon fought hard OFF SCREEN!! OFF SCREEN!! HIP HIP HOORAY! And then we get to see him leaning on Sora T_T could this episode give me any more perfect moments?? Looooove it

So yeah, if you can’t tell, I’m thrilled with this episode. There are just a couple things I would have liked to improve: better animation, at least one palpable heart to heart between Taichi and Koushirou, or just a bit more time spent explictly in Koushirou’s head - but honestly we got something that is pretty darn good, especially for this reboot. I hope we do get more like this, both for Koushirou and for the others. I hope the growth here isn’t forgotten moving forward. I really, REALLY want to see more of that “I lead, you support me - you lead, I support you” mutually beneficial relationship that is the foundation of Taishiro <3

So next week! Mimi’s back and the heads are gonna roll!

Lmao!

My theory that she’s finding crystals to make Crests seems unlikely to be the case now that we know the rocks constract the rock Digimon. But... hey, we’ll find out next week.

Also Taichi’s gonna make this face after talking with Mimi bahahahaha. I can’t wait.

#digimon adventure 2020 #digimon adventure: #digimon adventure reboot #digi spoilers #fizz watches digimon 2020 #digimon

[riarushi]

nct as cousins.

❥ genre- serious crack, fluff ❥ word count- 1.7k

Alternatively titled “NCT at Family Gatherings”. I think the universe wanted me to write this? Thank you to markleeholdingthings on Instagram for helping me out! (We made the most basic family dynamic on the planet.) ~Ness

➵ 

Taeil

Talks to the adults and enjoys it.

Some of the babies originally thought he was their uncle. 

Not necessarily close with any of his cousins except the older ones that took care of him growing up.

The younger ones aren’t too familiar with him since he doesn’t talk to them, but he likes to give them little trinkets when he sees them. 

Will offer to supervise the kiddos if they want to go outside. 

Has a music degree (big no no in this stereotypical family) and works in music production.

Johnny

The cousin that’s stuck in college, everyone loves him but the adults don’t think he is a good life example to the youngsters.

Second favourite of the adults (because the favourite has a degree and a job).

Likes talking w his fellow millennials while sipping his wine

He likes to give advice to high school cousins.

The baby cousins fear him :( He smiles at them lots and gets them the best presents to make up for it. 

Is probably still in college because he doesn’t want to join the adult table.

Taeyong

Taeyong likes the babies. 

He’ll sit them on his lap while he talks to the adults, making sure to play with them a bit so they don’t get bored. 

If they do anyway, he’ll get up and carry them back to the rest of the cousins, chatting with them for a while. 

The adults think he would make a great father. (Some of the nosy aunts and uncles like asking about his love life lmao) 

He treats the cousins around his age or older with respect. 

Overall everyone likes him because he’s happy to talk and easy to get along with.

Yuta

A social genius, he tailors his approach perfectly for every generation.

Has to greet every single child at the reunion before doing anything else. 

Every moment you look at him, there’s a different youngster in his arms and he’s high-fiving a different high schooler. 

Well-mannered with the adults and friendly with cousins of all ages. 

The high school-aged cousins love that he doesn’t treat them like angsty teenagers and he’s become a favourite among them.

Not jobless, to the relief of the parents.

Kun

Kun is the favourite, the cousin everyone gets compared to. 

He’s always busy working so he’s usually late to family gatherings. 

Is basically whisked away by the adults immediately to talk about adult things. 

He asks high school cousins “How’s school?”. Chill with them because he saw them grow up.

Has a huge soft spot for the baby cousins.

He’ll be in the middle of a conversation and drop everything when they tug on his sleeve.

Doyoung

Quiet, he does and talks about anything but only when he’s prompted.

He’s as successful as Kun, but not as sociable. 

Sits beside his parents most of the night and minds his own business. 

Doyoung’s awful at supervision. 

He just sits there and watches the kids make chaos.

His relatives get shocked when they see him outside of gatherings acting casually with his coworkers/friends.

Ten

He just got out of college but decided to take a year break before looking for a job. 

Is a kid favourite. 

Even though he’s one of the older cousins, he’s the most “hip with the kids”.

Teaches them how to cheat on tests and in general, be an awful student. 

Ten does not enjoy the adult table.

All the parents think he’s talented and has a lot of potential but will he!! Stop ruining their children’s minds!!!!! 

He only gets friendly with the older cousins when he’s wine drunk. 

Has never met the baby cousins. (The adults are sheltering them from the chaos that is Ten at family gatherings.)

Jaehyun

Jaehyun starts off by greeting the adults and being the sweetheart he is.

The adults always want to know about his love life because “Our nephew is very handsome, no?”

Hangs out with the older cousins later, drinking beer and chatting away like best friends.

He enjoys watching them fight with each other. 

Probably the youngest at his table, gets teased quite a bit. (”Yoooooo, Yoonoh’s growing up!”)

The younger kids aren’t really familiar with him.

Winwin

The favourite among the youngest cousins. 

They get excited to see him every time he arrives at family gatherings. 

Participates in their games (They like making him count for hide and seek.) and sits with them while eating. 

He spends very small amounts of time with the adults, quickly answering any questions they have about his life. 

The older cousins think he’s cute :( 

After the little ones go home, he watches whatever drinking game his generation has gotten into.

Jungwoo

Jungwoo is a free soul.

He’s just there to entertain himself, watching whatever cartoon the little ones are watching.

When they turn around and see a grown man on the couch, they’re a bit startled.

The adults think he enjoys taking care of the kids, but no. The boy is there to watch Tom and Jerry for his own enjoyment. 

Nobody remembers that he’s an engineering student, one moment he’s watching Blue’s Clues and the next he’s leaving to finish an assignment for class. 

The high schoolers try to ask him for advice, but he just says “I literally don’t know what I’m doing.”

Lucas

This boy walks into every family gathering dressed like he’s gonna be on a runway. 

Enjoys talking to the high schoolers about how their school’s changed since he graduated. 

Other than them, he joins any conversation on invite. 

The youngsters climb him like he’s a playground item. 

There’s just kids hanging off him while he laughs at some joke his uncle made. 

Sometimes, they shout “Big brother Yukhei!” into his ear and he just pats their head silently before continuing on with his business.

Mark

Follows his parents around.

He’s wrapped up in his own thoughts instead of whatever his mom is talking about with his relatives.

I’m kinda hungry, should I grab that cookie? I’m gonna grab that cookie. 

At some point, his parents get fed up with him “acting like an eight year old,” so he gets sent to play with his fellow cousins. 

Asks for the WiFi password and then sits on the couch all night scrolling through his phone. 

He doesn’t talk to his cousins because he never knew how to.

Xiaojun

A sweetheart with the most patience. 

Same question from every single adult about school? No problem, he’ll answer it as many times as he needs to. 

The youngsters like to pull pranks on him because they know he won’t scold them afterwards.

“Did we get you good, Dejun-ge?” “Yeah, I almost had a heart attack, haha.” 

Helps the babies get food. 

Just has a great family bond with everyone.

Hendery 

Hendery likes to look for the older cousins that take care of him, initiating conversation.

If they’re busy or stop talking to him, he goes to the crowd of younger cousins on the couch and chills with his phone.

Occasionally, he’ll show them all some memes he has.

“Haha, guys look at this one.”

Mimics the children screaming in the background to get some chuckles from them, too. 

The adults don’t think much of him, he’s a chill kid doing his thing.

Renjun

He’s quiet and polite for the most part, especially towards the adults.

With his cousins, he jumps in to say one-line roasts about people mentioned in conversation and then goes back to being silent.

They might say something like “My school friends are so weird!” and Renjun simply replies with “Makes sense why you’re friends, then.” 

One of the baby cousins likes to hug his leg, and he smooths their hair or holds their cheek absentmindedly.

An art major, but the adults aren’t worried since he’s smart. 

When alone in a room, he’s doodling on some scrap paper he found.

Jeno

Close with the cousins around his age.

Has a group chat with them and texts them to come to the living room. 

When they arrive he just goes “Wanna play Spaceteam?”

He plays party games with them for the rest of the night. 

If the other cousins want to join in, he’ll teach them how to play. 

The adults don’t think much of him, they usually just ask how he is and he replies with “Good!” and a smile.

Haechan

Haechan is The Annoying Cousin™. 

He comes off as very cold and bitchy usually. 

At family gatherings, he participates in games and gets overly competitive.

WILL cheat or flip the table, causes all the chaos.

The parents aren’t a fan of him, the kids either love him or hate him.

Older cousins think he’s entertaining lmao

Jaemin

Normal until some random kid screams his name. 

From then on he is in full kindergarten teacher mode.

Brings an entire crowd of noisy toddlers to the tables and everyone is just in shock. 

His older cousins know he’ll come around and chat with them once the kids go home, so they save him a bottle when he gets there. 

The adults have a good image of him: handsome, smart, charming. They think he’ll get married early. 

It’s a celebration if his mom announces he’s seeing someone.

Yangyang 

Starts heated debates among his cousins. 

If he’s in the zone and an older cousin tries to put an educational twist on the argument, he’ll start bullying them out of the room.

“From what I learnt in college--” “THIS IS A DEBATE AMONGST THE YOUTH.”

Two seconds later, he’s back to being friendly and cheery, talking casually and normally. 

The adults don’t believe their children when they tell them what happened upstairs with Yangyang. 

They think he’s the sweetest kid of the bunch.

Chenle 

Chenle is just comfortable and gets absorbed in the atmosphere.

“Chenle, go play with your cousins.” “Hey guys! My mom said to play with you”. 

All his cousins get along with him. 

He thinks the baby cousins are cute and will baby them. 

Lets them sit on his lap while he plays card games. (Probably lets them choose cards for him sometimes, too.) 

Youngest of his generation, everyone loves him to pieces.

Jisung

He does not want to be at the family gatherings. 

Awkwardly trails his parents because he doesn’t know what to do. 

Has to be pushed towards the food by relatives and just goes “Oh. Um, okay.” 

The older cousins ruffle his hair and ask him, “Aye, Jisung! How’s school?” “I-It’s good...” 

The younger ones do not find him approachable. 

Asks his parents when they’re going home as soon as 9 PM hits.

#my family is enormous so that's why i made it out so that each family was like 20 cousins ASKJSDF #neowritingsnet #nct #nct 127 #nct dream #wayv #superm #nct imagines #nct blurbs #nct reactions #nct fluff #nct soft hours #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 blurbs #nct 127 reactions #nct 127 fluff #nct 127 soft hours #nct dream imagines #nct dream blurbs #nct dream reactions #nct dream fluff #nct dream soft hours #wayv imagines #wayv blurbs #wayv reactions #wayv fluff #wayv soft hours #superm imagines #superm blurbs #superm reactions

[girloikawa]

carry on youtuber au

baz starts out as a cover artist, occasionally posting his own songs (he does violin stuff too)

but eventually he gets recognition and people are like “who is this person?????” so baz does a few q&as

oh BUT THEN he reveals that he also has so many other interests (books, movies, planting, coffee, Controversal Topics) that people want him to do other types of videos

and that is what starts baz on the long road of his channel basically being an everything bagel where he does a bit of everything and people find it very chill

agatha and baz become friends over their mutual love of gossip in the community (as long as they’re not apart of it)

(because baz and agatha and simon and penny aren’t problematic)

which brings me to agatha, she’s one of those channels that keep everyone updated on the drama and the shitty stuff that happens on YouTube as long as regular media

very opinionated, this gal is, so she shares her opinion on...everything

though, sometimes she’ll do a q&a and do her makeup and talk about fashion or what she’s into at the moment

she’s basically angelika oles

penny’s a booktuber!!!

she mostly reads and reviews fantasy books, as they are her favorite, but she’ll also do those videos where it’s like “i just read a shitty wattpad romance story, let me rant” or “my top ten favorite ya pairings” or “tier ranking every harry potter character because life has no meaning”

now, simon, the babe, he’s (and you cannot fight me on this) basically jenna marbles

his videos are so random and spurratic, he doesn’t even plan what his next video is, and he’s the youtuber

i would also like to point out that simon probably totally has adhd and would talk about it and his experience with it

his most popular videos are of him baking. he’s like (and hear me out) very good and very bad at it. like, all throughout the videos, everybody’s holding their breath’s like “oh no this is going to turn out terribly” because simon being in the kitchen is like a horse babysitting a dog, it’s a mess, however the end product is always perfect and amazing and by the end everybody’s drooling behind their screens

simon is also widely conceived as the weirdest straight guy ever. like people (from just looking at him) think he’s just So Striaght but a very Cool Straight Guy who people wouldn’t actually mind being around

simon has the most subscribers (the majority being that they find him funny and see him as a friend, the minority being people who think he’s Hot As Hell and okay yeah he’s a good person too but have you seen those freckles-)

then it’s baz because he actually started first and his following has been a journey, then agatha (she’s the newest, and her subscriber rate is growing rapidly), then penny (booktube is a small community sad face)

penny n simon are irl best friends and penny was the one who convinced simon to make a channel bc he needed something to help let out his energy, “plus it’s a little fun hobby”

snowbaz now :)

simon has followed baz from pretty much the beginning. he saw his cringy covers, his development as a songwriter, and the walls built around baz crumble over the camera

baz...well, he’s one of those people who think simon is Hot As Hell, but he also genuinely enjoys the videos. at first, baz was like “I’m not watching him, everybody watches him, and I’m different” so he always avoided the recommendations youtube gave him of simon’s videos (but it was also bc he didn’t want to confront that he was very attracted to simon)

and then, one fateful night, agatha sent baz a link to a video called “coming out” and under the link she wrote “youtube angel!”—that’s their nickname for simon—“shocking the world!”

baz click click clicked because hot guy is lgbt+????? and baz watched the video, commenting “proud of you” or something along those lines, and then he watched so, so many more of simon’s videos

simon, a boy who just came out as bisexual, just had his youtube hero comment on his video where he came out and is like !!!!!!

simon’s sexual awakening is baz

also, simon breaks the internet with that video, because he isn’t striaght and that’s so mind-boggling to everybody. but there’s always that one group of people who are like “i saw this coming. do you not remember that one time simon showed his socks and his jeans were cuffed-”

simon replies to baz’s comment and is like “oh my god thank you so much. you’re like my actual favorite youtuber” like a fucking Nut and people see that and say “omg collab” because they’re both relatively high status youtubers and their collab would be Powerful

then, summoning all his courage, simon dms baz on instagram with just a simple “hey, a lot of people are saying we should collab lmao”

“i’ve seen that” “heh uhm yeah” “maybe we could get to know each other and see if that would be a good idea” “yes! i’d love that”

and they do. they get really close and stuff,, but people don’t exactly...see that

you see, on twitter, they get in millions of arguments. people genuinely think that they hate each other to some extent, when in reality, they’re swooning at the sight of the three dot bubble

baz, on twitter: “you cannot tell me that people actually enjoy sparkling water. it’s trash, move on” (they had an argument over it, privately, and baz is making it public to cause a rise out of simon bc he finds angry simon cute)

simon, in response: “yo I’m throwing you in the trash as we speak. fuhhhck u”

so, when they collab for the first time, everybody at home is just like *shocked pikachu emoji* they end up doing a video where simon bakes baz’s mom’s recipe of cherry scones with baz. it’s kind of a big deal bc both simon and baz don’t want to ruin baz’s memory of his mother

in the end, baz tears up and gives si a big ass hug because they’re perfect, simon. i love them, thank you. the fans start shipping. hard. it’s simon’s highest viewed video

that surprise hug is also what makes simon realize that his feelings are much deeper than attraction and surface level forms of knowing someone

on baz’s channel, they were going to film a video where they talked about their experiences being queer, but then simon realized that his biggest, most prominent example was staring at baz’s jawline, so he had to be like “uhhh, actually, I’m not really comfortable with that yet” which is part true. instead, they do a video where they have argumentative discussions, like on twitter but in depth and with less insults

anyways, they receive pretty positive feedback on the videos, people enjoy them, so they decide to do more. also, they both live in LA, so it’s actually pretty easy to do them, plus they have a diverse area to do them in

also, i think it’d be nice to mention that simon will sometimes do twitch streams of him playing minecraft and then he puts edited versions on his channel. it’s worth mentioning because during this one stream, he ends up slipping up and saying “we talk a lot, actually. and i—i like him a lot” about baz, then he blushes like hell because i really just said that and it’s live oh god

all the while, baz and simon actually just start hanging out (without hiding behind wanting to do a video). one meet-up, they go to disney world and halfway through baz is like “uh, should we be filming this?” and simon gives him a smile and replies, “no” because that moment is for them and them only + the fans who see them together and ask for a picture/just take pictures of them being like a couple

their next collab is a bit of a fun one. behind the scenes, pen, ag, si, and baz all become friends, because of that one time baz came over while penny was there and he barely payed attention to simon, too busy talking to penny. anyways, they do a big four person collab where agatha basically teaches them how to do makeup

on penny’s channel, it’s book related. they have to do a look based on the synopsis’ of each other’s favorite books. baz gets simon, simon gets agatha, agatha gets penny, penny gets baz. baz: “snow, you’re holding it wrong. it’s like this” simon: *stares longingly at the brush that gets to touch baz’s face*

on agatha’s, the video is just titled Teaching My Friends To Do Makeup (ft. idiots who test my patience). they all suck. majorly. well, by all, i mean simon and penny suck at makeup

on baz’s, they do a trivia of sorts. if they get a question wrong, they have to skip a product. simon: “oh thank god less work” agatha, deadpanning: “i think i might kill him”

on simon’s, they have agatha and penny go against simon and agatha. si and pen being the ones who have to actually do makeup because, according to agatha, “since you decided to bitch so much, you guys are doing our makeup” “but-!” “nope, I’m Peak Brains of us all so I call the shots” “you’re not even-” “shut up” Everybody (and by everybody i mean the fans) is actually glad that they got to see simon doing baz’s makeup, because it’s literally them just being so flustered the whole time

the collab stuns everybody bc: “they’re all friends??????” plus, some people start calling them the Four Fucks because at one point penny says “fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, and most importantly, fuck me” after simon flinged a bunch of eyeshadow on her

okay so agatha and penny are just like: “these idiots need to get together already” because it’s very obvious that they like each other. like the eiffel tower in paris, you can’t miss it. everyone watching the videos also sees it, so you can imagine the comments

during one of si’s live-streams (he’s playing the hunger games minigame on minecraft), the chat goes wild because baz pops in. he plans on surprising simon with a picnic (he just thought that they could go into simon’s backyard or the park that’s a few miles away), but it was pretty spur of the moment so he didn’t think about simon doing a stream. and to be honest, simon’s stream was also spur of the moment, so it’s not like he made sure to tell baz about it

“simon! hey, i let myself in!” baz called from the front doorway. the chat is freaking because: “is that baz???” “omg baz has a key to simon’s house!!” “are they dating???” simon kind of just freezes up and starts sputtering as he reads the chat and tries to reply to baz

of course, baz doesn’t understand that simon doesn’t want baz to go into his office/room with his computer, so he does go in and as soon as he sees the livestream he’s like: “oh, uh, I’ll go” and simon unfreezes and goes “no, no, stay, I’ll just be a bit” “do you want me to...leave the room?” “you can watch if you want” (baz wants) “okay, sure” so simon pretty much shows baz how to play minecraft

i never finished this, do i?

#simon snow #tyrannus basilton grimm pitch #baz pitch #@rainbowrowell #penelope bunce #agatha wellbelove #was shepherd in this? #i dont fuckin remember #kinda just want this novel out of my drafts #i was going to write a whole fic on it... #*john mulaney voice* #and then i didnt! #so yeah #i can make a part two if people read this fuck shit #roight #carry on #wayward son #co/ws #awtwb #any way the wind blows #I AM SO FUCKIN SORRY TO ANYONE WHO FOLLOWS ME AND SEES THIS AND HAS TO SCROLL IM REALLY SORRY MY APOLOGIES #so much scrolling christ on a bike

[bitterxweetencounters]

~5 months later~

Ok I lied. I’m not going to talk about my Japan trip in this post. Instead I’m going to provide an update on what’s been going on in my life for the past 5 months since my last post. Lol. 

Okaaaay. So we ended up having a second wave. Hahah..aha..hah. A very intense and overwhelming one, at that. There was a day I believe when the number of new covid cases reached almost 800? It happened around mid this year. I remember it being a really devastating and disappointing period of everyone’s lives. It would seem like the number of new cases would only get worse everyday. I would be so put off from watching the news or reading about anything related to covid ‘cause it would only make me depressed. 

Today is a notable day to write this post ‘cause today’s the first day, since this second wave started, that VIC reached 0 new cases and 0 new deaths. 4 stages of lockdown (plus an extension) later, we're finally here! Everyone up until this day had been feeling it - despair, restlessness, anger, hopelessness - at this lockdown that seemed would never end. But today we got the news that VIC will be re-opening again (1st stage) this Wednesday (it’s a Monday today), then even more on Nov 8. The glimmer of hope we’ve been waiting for, for literally months now. 

Now for the non-covid related updates. Lol. 

It’s tempting sometimes to overgeneralise 2020 as “the year wasted”. “Nothing happened this year” (besides covid of course). But there have been a few new things I’ve experienced this year which I think would be worth noting. And a few thoughts I’ve been having lately that I really need to deposit somewhere before I forget them. 

Ever since I became single early this year, I’ve received some interesting dm’s via Instagram. One of the first ones was from this guy from Canada, who sent me one of my posts via my DM then proceeded to comment “cute haha *monkey covering it’s mouth emoji*”. I got this message while I was showering, at like 3am, so it was pretty unexpected. This was the beginning of a very strange friendship (?) thing. Long story short, and around a month later, I found out him to be a very strange guy. He was cute, seemed like a catch at first. BUT he gave off major player vibes and also, he was basically 4-5 years younger than me, and didn’t live up to the maturity he claimed to have (emotional maturity mainly). He would make it seem like he was after a relationship with me sometime in the future but also kept implying that he wasn’t necessarily after a relationship right now, and just wanted to “go with the flow”. He was always complimenting me, always wanted to FaceTime everyday, and would sweet talk me with things that were nice to hear. But I couldn’t shake off the feeling that he was bad news and wasn’t really serious about any of this (I even kept telling him I was thinking this). I should mention he was asking for a selfie and wanted to FaceTime from the very first conversation we had (after only exchanging a few messages). We didn’t even know each other yet?? Lmao. After a few weeks of talking to him I eventually caught him in a lie, and yeah. That was one of the biggest red flags. I had a weird feeling about him from the get go, but I guess I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt (and also what threw me off a lot is that he told me that he told his Mum about me - but I’ll never know if that was just a lie too). He also told me that he was going to visit here from Canada in August (it’s October now) and kept going on about how he wanted to spend a whole week out of the two weeks he was going to be here, with me, and how I’m so chill and fun to talk to that we would have so much fun spending time together. Lmaooo. He told me he’s dated a lot of older girls (I’m not sure if this is a fetish of his), but every time I asked him how many exes he’s had, it would always be a different number (which is hella sus ‘cause it seemed like he was lying then). He tried to do some weird sexual stuff as well which I never entertained and pretty much shut him down straight away whenever he tried. Not sure if he was just joking, but it was disturbing nonetheless. I won’t go into detail ‘cause this isn’t the place for it. It eventually got to a point where I was decided on the fact that I couldn’t take this guy seriously and didn’t want to waste both our time so I started replying less/later to his messages, basically friend-zoned him by calling him “man” and “dude”, and teased him about other girls saying that he had potential with them. I think he eventually got the hint ‘cause one day he just stopped texting me “good morning” everyday. Lol. But anyway, yeah that was more or less the main stuff about guy #1. 

Guy #2 was from London and it started with one of my girl friends messaging me and asking me if I was talking to someone at the moment. I said I wasn’t and she proceeded to tell me that one of her boyfriend’s friends found me really pretty and wanted to follow me on Instagram. She then sent me a few photos of him (screenshots from his IG account), asking if I would be interested (I felt like I was on a dating site for a moment lmao). While flattering, I remember thinking this was so bizarre. To be honest with you though the guy wasn’t my type (looks-wise). My friend said he was “a real sweetheart”. Even though he wasn’t my type, I gave it a chance and told her that I don’t mind him following me. We both agreed that the guy and I had nothing to lose, and if anything we’d just become international friends. Lol. So soon enough the guy follows me on IG and then starts a convo via DM. He introduces himself, seemed like a nice/decent guy. Very articulate, and well versed. He would comment on my stories here and there and try to get a conversation going, try to get to know me better and try to share things about himself. I think I recall him saying he thought I lived in Japan ‘cause I had a lot of posts from Japan. Lmao. It would get to the point though where he would write massive paragraphs, but the energy wasn’t called for, and didn’t feel mutual. I think I found it a bit overwhelming and felt like he wanted to take every opportunity to write an essay about his views on everything. There was a particular time I did an IG story post where I was venting about something, and he replied to it with like two long paragraphs worth of his thoughts, and then said he would be there for me even though we didn’t really know each other that well yet etc. Which was really sweet - yes. But also felt too early, premature. It almost felt like he was trying to forge an emotional connection too early on in a relationship which wasn’t even at the friends stage yet. We’d only been talking for like 2 weeks or so. I couldn’t help it, but I think my neutral and short replies gave off a hint, and he commented less and less on my stories. Till eventually he stopped altogether. Lol. Also I think I may have accidentally called him “man”....on purpose. I feel like a horrible person. There was a point early on though that I looked through his IG profile and tried to find things about him that I liked (I basically tried to convince myself that maybe the guy wasn't so bad). But I think that wasn’t successful. And yeah, it was hard to hide that fact for long I think. 

Guy #3 is this random guy that just followed me out of no where and liked a bunch of my photos on IG all at once. He then started commenting on my stories quite a lot. He would leave brief comical comments, and tried to get me to play animal crossing with him. Lol. He tried to start a convo one time but I didn’t reply to it for a few hours, and then found that he deleted it. Lol?? He would then like a few more of my IG pics. He was a bit strange. I wasn’t quite sure if he was trying to show that he was interested, or if he was just bored and wanted more friends. But yeah he doesn’t comment on my stories much anymore.  Now that I’ve gotten those out of the way, just thought I’d go on about my recent thoughts. So lately I’ve been feeling really stuck. I have a quarter-life crisis pretty much every day. I feel like I’ve plateaued, and I’m not really growing much right now. I feel like I need new experiences, new company. Most of the ones I have at the moment aren’t serving me well or helping me become a better person, if I’m honest. And I’m not happy. The company I have right now aren’t encouraging me to level up, or helping me expand my thoughts and horizons. I’ve noticed that a lot of the friends I was close to pre-covid have changed a lot, and so have I, so we’re not really offering much to each other. I’ve become so low energy lately that I find myself trying to avoid or escape dealing with people or situations that I feel aren’t worth my energy. Which I want to start doing more of from now on. I want to be more selective of the people I chose to surround myself with. I also want to find my community or a new community which I can be part of and grow from. Not sure how or where I will find that, but it’s something I’m keen on delving into more as time goes by. I want to be more myself, I want to change up my look, my fashion. I want to expand my knowledge, expand my vocabulary, expand the diversity of ways I talk/present myself or respond/reply to situations. I want to feel like I have something to offer - not only to my future partner, but to the friends I make in this lifetime. I feel like I’m too basic and uninteresting. I feel like I’m also too careful, too slow, too afraid to make mistakes. Too afraid to take risks. I want to stop “complaining about things, but doing nothing about them”. I want to be confident in myself, no matter what I feel that I am. If that makes sense. I want to speak more clearly, slower. I want to be able to speak Filipino fluently. I want to find the career that I love and work in it. I want to work with people that I can genuinely be friends with, not just colleagues or “fake friends”. I want to not care about what people will think about me, and just do me (especially on IG). I want to be unapologetically myself. But before that, I want that self to be the kind of self I aspire to be. Can you want to be different, but also want to just be yourself at the same time? Can someone confirm this? 

#personal #update #coviddays

[phoebehalliwell]

Ok so like I know it won’t happen but how would Sheridan and Warren feel about meeting their younger twin cousins Tam & Kat? Because then they wouldn’t be the only twin in the family plus the chaos of having mutiole sets of twins in one place would be amazingly hilarious! Like everyone is like Tam/Kat/Sheridan/Warren NOOO and they’re like >:3c ✨

[who tf are these kids so glad you asked warren & sheridan and tam & kat]

i feel like that would be a really wild ride bc i feel like as sets of twitches one would think they are very similar but they are indeed actually like. very different. i mean a there’s this age delta of like 7 years so that’s one thing so you’d have two grown as dudes and two teenagers but then there’s also differences like. tam and kat each have their own unique set of powers while warren and sheridan have identical powers. tam and kat were raised within magic by a charmed one in a happy could with a younger brother and a boatload of cousins they’re insanely close to warren and sheridan were raised by jack. tam and kat know how to preserve sea slugs warren and sheridan don’t even know why you would need to know this. and, of course, the major difference between the two is tamora and kat have a psychic link and warren and sheridan definitely do not nor do they want one. like for starters if they had the ability to be in each others head the odds of them just using that skill to annoy the other is like through the roof but also it’s like. tamora and kat’s subconsciousness are linked like their dreams border each other and like overlap and i think warren and sheridan would genuinely rather be lobotomized than let the other take a stroll around their dreams. but i mean like beyond that just like their dynamics with the other are insanely different like kat literally ran off to italy and tamora stayed behind in sf and they’re just like. fine with that. whereas warren and sheridan have never ever actually like. lived apart. and in the back of their minds they know at some point that’s gonna happen but like hey man that’s my twin brother i know him i know he’s a fucking idiot and i don’t trust him not to get himself killed. like both tam and kat have done solo vanquishes where they didn’t even like mention anything to their twin bc like. they were busy doing this vanquish. warren and sheridan are a lot more attached at the hip when it comes to magic i mean they also have a lot less experience but like if kat every mentioned casually that she’s currently living on the other side of the globe from her twin w&s would short circuit (and if that didn’t do the trick tam and kat being like yeah i mean it’s never like we’re cut off from each other bc u know like the psychic link would Definitely send warren and sheridan over the edge).

that being said similarities i mean for starters both are twin sets where they’re identical but one twin has short hair and the other long so if they ever met i feel like someone has to comment on that bc like. hey does the author have some weird need to visually distinguish identical twins in an easy-to-read way? yes. also it’s a spilt where one twin’s gay and the other’s straight (kat being a lesbian, warren being bisexual, and tamora and sheridan both being like the lone heterosexuals out of everyone they know) but like. beyond that i think both twins definitely have this stubbornness and like. a tendency not to involve parental figures in their work bc they want to prove that they can do it on their own. there’s also like. a sense of impulsivity to them all in varying degrees ranking sheridan kat warren tam but like. in a wstk team up a battle plan probably will not be drawn they’ll say the vibes of the situation and then like. go time.

if i were to spin a yarn for a tamora kat warren sheridan team up i would set it in warren and sheridan’s world and simply for convenience i’m keeping them both at the ages they are in their respective stories so 18 and 22 and i’m not entirely sure of the circumstances which would land tamora and kat anywhere but the sets would id each other when someone freezes somewhere and they hey who’s that moving over there there’d be introductions where tamora and kat are like hi we’re tamora and kat mitchell and they’re like a lil confused when that gets no reaction bc quite frankly like they are the daughters of a charmed one and where they’re from the majority of witches & other magical beings know their name bc like. they do. and this only gets weirder where warren and sheridan are like we’re warren and sheridan halliwell and kat’s like no ur not. and they’re like excuse me? and she’s like ur last name. and they’re like yeah?? halliwell???? and tamora and kat are like yeah??? bc again where they’re from this name carries insane weight to pose as a halliwell w/o having the last name would be fucking insane but where warren and sheridan are from the charmed ones died in a basement in 2005 halliwell name going with it and also they really don’t know that much about their mom’s side of the family anyways so their like i don’t get what you’re not getting here our last name legally is like halliwell it’s from our mom’s side and tamora and kat are like Who is your mom????? and they’re like her name was prue and tam and kat are like !!!!!!!! what the fuck. what the fuck? and warren and sheridan are like okay. what. and tamora and kat are like hi thrilled to meet u we’re ur cousins. and warren and sheridan are like cool and immediately try to freeze them to talk amongst themselves but then realizes that Doesn’t Work bc they’re Also Witches and they’re like well fuck. new plan we take them back to the house and we hold swizzlesticks in their face (the house cat, a familiar) and go off the cat’s reaction. so blah blah blah tamora and kat are like trying to explain no no no see your mom was a part of the charmed ones right and warren and sheridan are like okay i think that was mentioned in passing idk what that means tho and kat and tam are like fr? whatever we don’t have time the point is in our world prue died and they’re like oh no don’t worry she died in our world too and tam and kat are like oh. my condolences the point is the charmed ones were reconstituted when piper and phoebe (your aunts) found our mom, who was their half sister, an illegitimate child patty had with her whitelighter. and warren and sheridan are like okay cool. the fuck is a whitelighter? and tam and kat are like !!!! bc how tf can you be a halliwell and be so far removed from magic next stop obvi would be the manor which was been magically secured to the nines debatable whether or not they break in warren and sheridan might have like a couple memories i mean less like memories and more like vibes from when they were raised in the manor for 90 seconds and um. they’re definitely getting a premonition of prue’s death, and then also the reconstitution of the po3 with paige for good measure confirming tk’s story. then the mission is obviously find whatever it was that sent tam and kat here and get them back and uhh breaking into the manor was of no use bc when piper phoebe and paige completely remade their identities and faked their death like they took the book with them. they’re not just gonna leave it in the house lmao. and so tam and kat are like okay magic school? and warren and sheridan are like What Down and the girls open a door into magic school to find it totally decimated and almost entirely deteriorated after the death of the charmed ones evil tried to claim it which ate away at the core of magic school until it was uninhabitable. so that’s a no go. okay warren and sheridan what do you do. and they’re like um okay so there’s the school library. and there’s google. and we have some friends who are witches. and tam and kat are like you have friends who are witches but still have never heard of like. the charmed ones. and warren and sheridan are like hey man they’re not Witches Witches they’re like. witch practitioner. but they’re good and they like. know plants and stuff. and of course worse comes to worse fun fact most demons aren’t expecting you to punch them so like. that also works. and tamora and kat are like okay cool what i’m hearing is we’re gonna be trapped in this world forever. but i think it would be a really nice blend of warren and sheridan learning the craft (these lads don’t even know how to scry 💀) and tamora and kat really taking a step back bc they were raised in a world immersed in magic and really have never like. seen the craft done in this way. and i think like they can definitely learn some lessons here. also debatable whether or not kat brings her sword but if she does warren and sheridan would Totally lose their shit. and would probably buy swords 4 themselves.

#charmed #next gen #tamora mitchell #kat mitchell #warren halliwell #sheridan halliwell #charmed next generation #i also think it's funny bc like. despite being in the same family and both being identical twins #i think the twin gene comes from their respective fathers sides #i mean obvi it comes from jack's side of the family #and then as henry doesn't know his family but we have the warren line documented quite well #i think it's safe to say tamora and kat as identical twins is a henry thing #is that how it works? #idk i really don't know that much about literally any of the life sciences #but i know like twins tend to be like. hereditary. #💌

[sheepyships-archive]

Stickers And Sweets

summary: some gojo satoru self-shipping headcanons with small drabbles sprinkled in for the headcanons i favored/had more of an idea of.

warnings: major spoilers!!!! trauma/angst

genre: fluff and cheesy stuff, angst/comfort

a/n: i have been simping for this man since i started juju, and even before that. look i watched episode seven today(lmao the second of january was when i started writing this) of jjk and i am... simping. ALSO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG MY WRITING BRAIN IS DUMBB

-i don’t have a concrete idea on how we meet

-but i’m thinking that if i am a jujutsu sorcerer, we probably met at jujutsu high?? for him it kinda just... formed from afar

-gojo pegs me at the time to not pay attention in class, and would get into trouble for that, despite having absolutely perfect grades and doing completely fine in the class

-(he’s a jokester too, but won’t be annoyingly distracting, “people like that are annoying, and probably won’t get very far as a sorcerer, or at life in general.” he’d say)

-he sat at one side of the classroom and i would be sat at the other, and he quickly noticed that his gaze would shift over to look at me, lingering for a moment before breaking it away with a light blush

-but eventually, when seating was changed(i don’t know how it works where juju is set so just work with me here), he was set to be seated by me, and that’s how we start talking

-slowly it starts with him asking for a pencil, pen, eraser, etc. and while i was reluctant, i let him borrow one

-he always gave it back with a small sticker on it, and i continued to let him borrow the pencil, more stickers being put onto the pencil

-occasionally, as this continued, he’d grab my attention during class and pass me he sticker sheet, pointing at one of the stickers with a raised eyebrow

-‘this sticker today?’ is basically what he was asking

-before we became comfortable with each other i’d be confused and nod slowly before watching him as he put the sticker on the pencil, it made me smile faintly and i’d nod as a thank you, he’d just grin and nod back

-but eventually as we interacted more and became more comfortable, he’d continue to put more stickers on, but would ask me which sticker i want first instead of just picking one and sticking one on

-which i didn’t mind, he had a good taste in sticker sheets

-when he chose a sticker, i’d either smile and nod in agreement, or shake my head and point to another sticker with a small pout

-this makes him chuckle and place that sticker on instead, he could feel his heart swell and he just felt... happy

-it became our own little thing and would happen when we had class together, and this is how we would silently interact with each other

-that was, until he started to actually talk to me or distract me with topics outside of school and studies, quietly whispering to me whenever we could

-this would get us(mainly him) into trouble

-“do you think alligators can sleep?” “gojo please, you’re smarter than me. i’m not a top student or sorcerer like you are, so please let me study.” i say while cracking a smile, trying not to start giggling at his dumb comment

-“hey! i was just wondering..” “mister gojo and miss [insert my last name fuck you], is there something that you want to share with the class?”

-queue gojo being like “😎 nope.” all confident and cocky, while i’m sinking in my seat, “no, sorry.. 😰” i say apologetically

-when the teacher returns to what they’re doing, i smack gojo’s arm gently and huff, he just chuckles silently and ruffles my hair

-he definitely enjoys teasing me, but he’s also a lot more... softer with me in general

-he becomes a lil protective, since the jujutsu sorcerer world is dangerous, so he always makes sure i’m in perfect health and that i am okay in general

-at first he thought the gazes, the little inside jokes, and teasing and conversing were all just from his little crush that had formed, and that he would get over it

-but then it didn’t go away, it continued to grow more. when he realizes that it doesn’t go away, he himself is shocked at the fact, but keeps it hidden

-you can just picture him with his chin resting on his hand and his black sunglasses lowered somewhat on his nose, looking down at me and zoning out as he was studying my movements

-his piercing blue eyes are half-lidded and he has a blush growing on his usually pale face and fingers, and his face feels warm. but he’s content

-he’s brought back to earth by me either tapping his shoulder to ask him if he’s okay, since he’s been staring at me for so long (which makes him most embarrassed because i caught him staring, but he’ll try to brush it off)

-or by being called out by the teacher for distracted in class again and to answer the question, which annoys gojo but he answers it quickly

-shock to the teacher of course, because satoru gojo was just staring at me and not paying attention to the class discussion at all????

-truly a mystery that he’s so smart... yet never paying attention...

-but the teacher doesn’t dare split us apart because despite the fact that gojo may not listen, and i get distracted by him, we work well together

-this is especially evident in group/partner projects

-we goof off, but get the work done and get (almost)perfect grades

-eventually, we start to meet up outside of class/school, where he’ll take me on small adventures to local shops, to either look around, or he will buy stuff for us(like treats or more stickers), and since it’s usually crowded wherever we go, he will hold my hand to make sure i don’t get lost

-“we don’t need you getting swept up in the crowd, shortie.” “fuck you and your abnormally long body.” this makes him laugh

-he always enjoys going out and getting sweets because this is where he starts gaining his sweet tooth, and enjoys seeing me munching on them happily and having a delighted time, even though they probably aren’t good for us, to him it’s everything he ever dreamed of when going on a date

-wait. date? silly gojo, this isn’t a date!

-gojo always had to remind himself that this wasn’t a date, he was just dragging me around places, like friends do!

-right?

-eventually, gojo’s crush becomes much more than a “crush”, he is now head over heels and in love, as much as he wants to deny it and brush it off

-this results in more teasing, more stickers, y’know the usual just happens more, but now satoru wants to hold hands, cuddle, etc., his arm will almost always be wrapped around my shoulders and will rest there whenever we’re with each other

-even though we aren’t in a relationship, it becomes a common thing

-once the pencil we share is covered up with stickers, we move onto putting stickers on other belongings we own, or onto each other’s faces, arms, or hand during class, but we have to be sneaky about it so the teacher doesn’t notice

-part of him wants to confess his feelings, but the fear of being rejected and possibly ruining everything holds him back for awhile. but he’s observant and will watch for any sort of hints or see if i feel the same

-he’s able to notice the differences there are when we interact versus how i interact with others, like close friends, or with strangers, and it helps put him at ease, and he finally gains the confidence one night and heads to my dorm

-when he gets to my door and raises his closed fist up to knock on it, he pauses and stares at the door, beginning to have second thoughts for the first time in... well, awhile.

-’is this the right time? have i been reading her wrong? what if she actually doesn’t feel the same as me?’

-he shakes his head and smacks his forehead, but freezes upon realizing how loud the ‘slap’ noise that was, ‘well, it’s now or never.’ he thought before knocking on the door finally

-when the door opens, i peak my head out and look up to see him, a smile immediately forming on my features as i greet him joyfully, gojo could feel his face heat up and his shoulders tense up, but he grinned nonetheless

-”c’mon, i wanna take you somewhere.” “oh boy, where are we sneaking off to this time?”

-he felt his heart swell when he heard we, like that’s how it was supposed to be, he held one of his hands out and put a single finger up to his lips. “you’ll see..” he whispers, grinning at me raising an eyebrow at him before taking his hand, “suspicious bastard..” i mutter jokingly

-he would lead us outside, not too far, just out to a small field where the stars were bright and clear in the sky. he sits down in the grass and raised his glasses up, a gentle sigh falling out of his lips as he places them on his head

-i sit down close beside him and wrap my arms around my legs, “this seems a little.. odd, i was expecting somewhere more crowded.” i joke with a laugh, he chuckles and his arm falls over my shoulders

-”yeah, i know, but.. i wanted to ask you about something, and i didn’t want tons of people around us.” he says, a frown forming as his eyes narrow and a hint of hesitation is in them, which is out of character with his usually confident and laid back nature

-i immediately become worried, scooting closer to him, letting our shoulders brush, “gojo.. what’s wrong? you seem.. nervous, is everything alright?”

-“satoru.” “huh?” “call me satoru from now on.”

-i blink in disbelief, quietly muttering the name in shock before i raise my hand up to my mouth and giggle, delighted at the fact i can call gojo, well, satoru by his first name now

“why are you laughing?! this is serious.” “i know, i know! i’m just.. happy that i was given permission to call you by your first name, i think satoru is cute..”

-queue satoru going red before a sudden surge of confidence overrides his original anxiousness

-he reaches over with both hands, gently grabbing one of my hands and placing his other hand on my cheek, staring down at me as i look up and make eye contact with him

-“that’s not the only thing, you have the opportunity to be my girlfriend too. if you would like to, of course.”

-i gasp and blink again, staring at satoru’s piercing gaze that was filled with determination, but also fear

-we sit there for a moment in silence and satoru feels his stomach drop down to his feet

-“please, say something.” his voice is just above a whisper, thumb moving along my cheek, letting his cool facade down to show a more vulnerable side of him

-i lean up and kiss the very corner of his lips before pulling back, “i would love to.” i say, and before i can say more, he tackles me down onto the ground into a hug

-i giggle and snort, but snuggle into him, letting my eyes close as we hold each other for a bit longer

-time skip to many years later: we are both teaching at the tokyo metropolitan curse technical college, he’s now the strongest jujutsu sorcerer and i am like his unofficial sidekick, but also branch out and do my own thing(like missions, training, etc.)

-we are definitely just as love with each other as we were when we first got together, if not more. even if years have passed, it still feels like it was only yesterday that we officially got together, and our feelings have only grown ever since high school

-leaving notes, stickers, treats, etc. is still a normal occurrence, and we never really grow out of the habits that we formed during our time in school

-(yes we still keep the pencil, fuck you)

-since i don’t really teach any classes, i will find him before he has to teach his class and goof off like usual

-he will be sitting in a seat that’s backwards with his arms wrapped around/resting on the top, and i will be sitting on a table in front of him either talking about our days, missions, events that are going on, you know the drill

-during these moments i’m usually combing my hand through his spiked up hair, or putting stickers on his face or hands, despite the fact that he has a class to teach in like fifteen minutes

-but he keeps them on, he isn’t a pussy

-“if someone has an issue with them, they can sort themselves out because i’m not doing anything wrong.” —satoru gojo about the cute hearts and stars stickers on his face

-before he has to go teach a class, i will kiss his cheek as a good luck before he heads off

-when he has to go on a mission that will last a few days though, i make sure to help him prepare for it, and sneak in a few sweets for him

-when he returns he always and i mean ALWAYS sneaks into our shared apartment, i’ll be cooking and focused on other things when he comes in as quietly as he can

-he sneaks up behind me before placing both hands on my sides, making me jolt and look up at whoever grabbed me just to see satoru

-“YOU ASSHOLE I ALMOST SHIT MYSELF!”HE CACKLES AT MY REACTION EVERY TIME

-“sorry love, but your reactions are just priceless!” he says, kissing my neck and cheek before holding his hand out, which has a few of those left over sweets i had snuck into his bag

-“will you accept my apology with these?” he asks with a grin as he looks at me, i roll my eyes with a smile and take one, “i’ll consider it.”

-he feigns a hurt look and places his now free hand on his chest like a drama queen, “you sure know how to wound a man, my love! but you also know how to make a man weak for you too.”

-“my lord satoru, i think your sweet talking is the one making me weak.” satoru grins once more and leans against me, wrapping his arms around my waist and holding me

-“we’re weak for each other.”

-on missions where either of us get hurt or go missing, we will panic

-satoru tends to be a little late coming home because he’s just stupid, but if he’s gone for later then usual, i will try to text him and make sure he’s okay, but he ends up always walking through the door right after i text him

-usually he’s completely fine and maybe has a few scratches, but when he comes back and has more wounds than usual, i will sit him down on the couch and patch him up

-”SATORU YOU HAVE TO BE MORE CAREFUL I KNOW YOU’RE STRONG AND ALL BUT I DON’T CARE-” he just watches with a dumb grin, just letting me rant as i patch him up

-but in the end i hug him and tell him again to be more careful, which he complies and hugs me back

-when i get hurt, if it’s nothing major he’ll just kiss the bruises/scratches, but when it’s more major he completely drops everything and will rush over to me and take me out of the situation we’re in

-specifically if it’s a fight with a cursed spirit, he will pick me up bridal style and escapes with me, more focused on getting us out of that situation that we were previously stuck in

-when he gets to a safe spot, he’ll make sure i’m not in critical condition before pulling out his travel sized med pack(yes i headcanon he brings one on missions we go together)

-this is the only time where he’s actually panicking, he’s cursing under his breath and chewing his bottom lip to prevent himself from cursing to himself under his breath, trying to patch me up as quickly as he can but also being wary of possibly hurting me more

-once he finishes, he sits there for a second to make sure i’m okay, and that no cursed spirits are around before setting me down softly and jumping back into the fight, ready to beat the shit out of the cursed spirit that fucked me up

-he returns back to my side in seconds, able to fight the cursed spirit a lot quicker since he was running on ANGER, but he picks me up and gives me a piggy back ride back to our home, he lifts his blindfold up to his forehead and looks back at me

-a wave of relief washes over him when he sees that i’m asleep with my head resting on his shoulder, he relaxes and smiles before turning forward and continuing home

-when i wake up i’m in bed and he’s laying beside me, passed out with his head buried in the crook of my neck, i smile and run my hands through his hair with a sigh

-anyways lets move away from angst bc the angst took over for a sec

-whenever one of us wakes up, we’ll put stickers on each other’s faces and wait for the other to wake up and the stickers will go unnoticed, or, as time goes on, we’ll feel our faces for stickers

-satoru always makes stupid doodles on post-it notes and will stick them everywhere

-’see you later honey-bun. <3′ with a lazy doodle of him with a peace sign

-”what a dork..” i mumble as i put it in my book collection of all the cute post-it notes

-SOMETIMES HE MAKES IT A TREASURE HUNT AND WHEN I FIND THE “TREASURE” IT’S ONE OF THE TREATS HE BOUGHT ON HIS MISSION AND SPECIFICALY ITS ONE OF MY FAVORITES

-he comes home seeing me munching on it and walks over, wrapping both arms around me and kissing my cheek

-”enjoying the treasure?” “yeah, thank you..” queue satoru kissing my cheek again and making me flustered before i kiss his cheek in response

-we are in love, and that's it

-(he proposes on valentines day, if you’re wondering ;))

#🍡sweethearts . since . highschool 💌 #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #sylvie . writes ✎ #❀ romantic . f/o

[la0hu]

realized last night and today when talking to my mom that i absolutely did not need her telling myself that i’m too sensitive (and childish), and i really did not need my friends mocking me for being silly and playful and dramatic, especially when half of my humor was self-derisive mockery of my own interests habits and feelings because that’s what they found funny

anytime my feelings got hurt by someone laughing at something i did or something i liked, i either was told by my mom that this was evidence that i’m still too sensitive, or i kept it to myself and told myself to get over it and to get over myself, and SURPRISE -- it never got better because i was basically feeling guilty about having fucking feelings

like anytime i brought out my knitting in front of some college friends, they would smirk or make a little joke and i would just have a little voice in my head be like “haha emma ur such a little freak” and then it’d be like “oh look who’s trying soooo hard to be quirky and Different” and then i’d be like “but i just like knitting though... i like it not bc it makes me seem cool just bc it’s fun” and then another voice will be like “oh boohoo did that hurt your feelings? fucking baby” LIKE HOW DID I NOT REALIZE HOW UNHEALTHY AND UNFAIR I WAS BEING TO MYSELF

it’s only after i stopped being around that environment and stayed at home for months, and then was surrounded by people who didn’t know me and didn’t mock my interests even if i gave them the opportunity, that i was able to not have my feelings fucking thrashed every time i interacted with someone

like being around my brother is such a refresher bc no matter HOW genuinely weird i act in front of him, he never ever ever ever mocks me for it and he enjoys it when i’m being silly and dramatic and playful, and even when he’s making a joke at my expense, it’s always clear that he doesn’t think any less of me for it

sometimes i would literally try to bait ppl at the bootcamp and be like “yeah i knit, it’s a grandma activity lol i’m just prepping for my 70s” and they would always be like “that’s really cool!” like. what? are u being serious? “what kind of stuff do you knit?” you’re asking me questions abt knitting that are actually earnest? what the fuck? and then i’d snap out of it and realize they’re just being nice and polite. like what the fuck was i expecting, them to agree and be like “lol you knit? aren’t u like 22 lmao” LIKE WHO TF WOULD SAY THAT?? WHYY did i think ppl would always speak to me like that?????

and it sucks bc i really was close to my college friends and i enjoyed hanging out and i miss them, and it wasn’t entirely their fault that i built up this complex in my head, but they sometimes WERE really insensitive and condescending, and i think our friendships were too cemented in how we saw each other. they did always see me as the quirky, offbeat friend who was overdramatic and a little sensitive, and they were so used to ribbing me and mocking me bc to them, it seemed like i handled it well and it was funny for everyone. and i should’ve said something earlier, but it was so new to make new friends and to really act like myself in front of them that it felt like being constantly teased was just part of the deal, and somehow evidence of how close we really were. and i didn’t even realize until this YEAR how fucked up it all was

like when i dyed my hair green, everyone started calling me ‘green haired girl’ and then just ‘green hair’ and make jokes about how i’m so quirky bc i have green hair and no one ever just said “i like your green hair” unless they weren’t a close friend like strangers were nicer to me

or whenever i wore a tight-fitting dress or wide leg pants, a couple of my friends would joke about how “thicc” i was, which especially sucked bc all the other east asians in our friend group (6 out of 8 ppl) are the prototypical super skinny, kind of petite build and it was like calling me a whale and cow to my face

or ANYTHING related to my majoring in art, ANYTHING! me liking rollerblading, me liking animation, me talking to my mom on a regular basis, i felt like a walking talking caricature of a human being and it was my own fault for being so sensitive when ppl mocked me for it. they’re just teasing! can’t i take a joke? actually no i fucking can’t and i’ve tried to be the butt of the neverending joke for the past three years and i’ve decided i’m gonna quit thanks

#p #lots of unexpected introspection happening in the past 24 hours