#lmao the idea that because sai left while they were so young he doesnt know ryusui turned into a huge casanova is too funny

[megacarapa]

i was not planning on making this many but i just kept adding more n more and it spiraled into an assorteds

#mine #drawings #dr stone #drst #drst textposts #ASSORTEDS SPECIAL ILLUSTRATED EDITION #i took full advantage of my 3 day table having privilege to make as many memes as possible #lmao the idea that because sai left while they were so young he doesnt know ryusui turned into a huge casanova is too funny #ryusui #sai #frans #nanami corp #tsukasa #ryukasa

[dromaeo-sauridae]

Sorry for spam liking half of your promethea tag SHFJKSKFK but I saw one of your posts come up bc I follow the spec evo tag, and I’m intrigued!! I have no clue what’s going on over there, I didn’t see a summary in as far as I scrolled — what’s the story with that world?

AEIFHUJA youre all good i was sleeping anyway! i dont mind spam liking !!

oh god yeah i never have posted a summary of wtf is going on have i. i just draw random shit LOL. ok lemme try to say all this without taking forever. um before i start i want to mention that im making the story with my friend who isnt on tumblr! i do most of the worldbuilding for promethea itself (and the creature design for all of cassandra) and they are in charge of another group of people who are pretty important lol. theres a LOT going on, so im just gonna focus on the main thing for now but if you want to know EVERYTHING then i can go over it all lmao

the story focuses on dawn (friend's character) who used to be a part of a group of sun god worshippers that were in charge of guarding the prison of a dragon named cinder. dawn was going to be the next warden/priest and in charge of keeping the prison secure, but a follower of cinder broke in and killed almost everyone there when dawn was a young child. they escaped when a wolf named theo led them to safety. afterwards, they were found and taken in by the king of promethea, jack. after a while, dawn realizes that something is wrong with him. hes being possessed, and its by the god of death. no one else is aware of this, since its been going on since he was a child and hes "himself" most of the time. however, as time goes on, its getting worse and worse and dawn starts looking for a way to help him. during their search, they find a woman named anuba, who strangely enough is looking for the same thing. well pretty quickly they realize that they both know jack, him and anuba being partners when they went to school together. so they start working together. unfortunately this sort of thing doesnt really. happen. ever. and they keep coming up with dead ends.

eventually one of them (not sure who yet, this bitch of a story is still a work in progress <3) comes up with the idea of calling on the sun god for help. the important thing here is that this god isnt the god of the sun, shes the god of damn everything. shes represented by the sun because of how powerful she is. the problem with her is since she's so huge and powerful, getting her attention is nearly impossible, even for someone like dawn who came from a group of her worshippers. anuba suggests letting the dragon whos locked up, cinder, out, since this god was the one who locked cinder up. dawn doesnt like the idea since cinder was locked up after she attempted to destroy all of cassandra, but they dont have many other options. anuba, who's desperate for literally any solution at this point, gets frustrated and goes off on her own to let cinder out anyway.

cinder is free.

now, there are two pieces of information that have been hidden from everyone up until this point. one, cinder is not just a dragon, she is a god, and she is the god who created cassandra. and two, cinder and the god that has been possessing jack are working together, and have been since the beginning. and jack is the one who killed the sun worshippers.

at this point, jack is beyond saving. hes too far gone and basically dead. his body is being used by the death god and when dawn returns, it attempts to kill them and theyre forced to finally kill him. dawn and anuba end up working together again, this time to kill cinder.

and yeah thats it. the ending is a bit rough cuz like i said its still a work in progress and jesus H christ this is so goddamn long already i need to fucking stop i hope this makes sense sorry for taking literally all day to answer its bc im atrocious at writing and it kept getting confusing LOL. theres a bunch of important shit ive left out bc of. the length. so if you have questions pls ask them

#good god #i had it about halfway written before deleting the whole thing and starting over cuz i didnt like it LMAO #i used to not like people spamliking but at this point my notifications are destroyed i will not mind #people talking to me #promethea #worldbuilding #<- kind of? #fantasy

[faggotgamzee]

hello i have a skephalo vampire au that ill never write but i want it out of my head, a plot outline under the cut, feel free to do whatever the fuck you wanna do with this id just love to see it if you do

Skephalo vampire au: Bbh meets skeppy in the most unfortunate of circumstances, 12 year old skeppy gets bitten and kept as a vampire spawn with no will and servant to the vampire that bit him, bbh and his mentor raid the place and kill all the vampires, bbh takes pity on young skeppy, not being capable of killing a child he decides to feed him the blood of the vampire that bit him to free him of the trance and orders him to run, unbeknownst to his mentor. Time skip 8 years later skeppy has left his hometown where he was bitten and is doing very well for himself, he is a very adept vampire with a clan thats like a family (think idots, invadedlands gang) he is rich and invests in real estate (lol) but tells people he is a magician for a living. Vampires in this au can be in the sun but only for short amounts of time otherwise they’ll get bad skin burns eventually think 2-3 hours max, skeppys strong suit is that he can stay out in the sun double the amount and skeppy is very adept at using vampire compulsion in a way that makes people not realize, it’s very soft and more of a suggestion and planting ideas in people's heads he is also very good at blending in with normal people. Skeppy decides he wants to go back to where he grew up on a whim one day, either to confront his past or something like that, everyone disagrees with him and the he shouldn't because that area isnt a safe space for vampires due to vampire hunters but he decides to hell with their warnings and leaves, they all follow him one by one eventually because theyre worried for him and theyre not gonna leave him alone in case he gets in trouble In almost a string of fate type deal he immediately runs into bbh in a bakery/coffee shop looking for muffins, skeppy recognizes bbh and is almost floored he is just standing there staring at him in shock before he realizes he should probably act normal, he says hi and then he is worried at first that bbh will recognize him but he doesn't skeppy has changed very much from when he was 12, skeppy almost considers following bbh but he knows he is a hunter and doesn't want to risk it, instead he camps out the shop hoping to see him again and he does, bbh comes in every couple days for muffins and coffee After a while he works up the courage to approach him out of impulse and to talk to him he doesn't know what compels him but he needs to know more about him Essentially he tries super hard to befriend him, after a couple false assumptions about dating and a LOT of suspicion and shut downs, bbh agrees to hang out with him after skeppy tells him he is a magician and he gets roped in to do a show for kids that bbh teaches and skeppy is floored thats the thing that gets him to open up Bbh hasnt been a hunter in a long time, he works as a teacher’s assistance for elementary kids, he does become a sort of a mentor to the dteam in terms of vampire hunting picking them up like strays over the years, dream especially is very gungho about being a hunter after a bad experience with werewolves and he is very good at studying and the reputation of the area being dangerous for the paranormal comes from him (i think itd be cool if he gets bit and turned into a vampire later on and skeppy gives his help and its a secret between them)

George comes from a family of witches/warlocks so he is already familiar with the paranormal he met bbh when they were both highschool age and they kinda just.. Knew that the other knew and stuck together Sapnap was bad’s first stray he (dream being second) that he picked up after saving him he was orphaned after a real bad vampire attack and sapnap just kinda stuck to him like glue bad tried to avoid him but sapnap is persistent and real quickly bad kinda just warmed up to him and started teaching him and took on a more father figure role for him Everyone jokes that skeppy really seems to want to date bad cuz skeppy is obsessed with bad and no one realizes why skeppy is so fascinated by bad in that he saved his life years ago, he knows bad would kill him if he knew what he was so he keeps it a secret and he is very good at blending in, he keeps wanting to see how far he can take it and after a bet from one of the idots (they dont know bad is a hunter) that he wouldnt be able to drink bad’s blood he takes it to a next level and starts a dance between them, bbh is immediately suspicious of skeppy and shares that suspicion with dteam only to be met with something along the lines of not everyone who is interested in you is out to kill you Skeppy enjoys toying with bad and seeing how far he can go, its maddeningly harder than he thought to drink his blood, bbh is very prepared and very vigilante, any attempts of following him home are moot he always loses him, he still manages to fuck with him, bad is always doubting if skeppy is a vampire or not until he isnt either via dream getting bit and skeppy helping him and it coming out or something like that, but its important for it to come out after bad and skeppy have grown inseperably close so he doesnt kill him immediately lmao Notable mentions technoblade and skeppy both were orphan vampires in a city and have a sort of camaraderie between them

#skephalo #skeppy #badboyhalo #myfuckinarttagbitches

[lavenderek]

Why were you disappointed by the Howl's Moving Castle movie? I think I read the book years ago, but I don't remember much about it

i'm gonna critique the gibbly movie and it's my understanding that it's a special movie for a lot of people so if that's you feel free to skip this one

so i was delighted and enchanted by the book, which has only twice to date not made the movie a devastating letdown, so my dear friend sending me this book was pretty much signing a contract in her own blood accepting that i would be cranky about the movie. i'm not really a ghibli person either, like i can appreciate the artistry and value in them, and i'll watch it if the people i'm with really need to watch princess mononoke or whatever, but i just don't go out of my way to watch them. (i like reading meta about spirited away, though.)

i did go out of my way to watch this one because i loved the book so much.

it's important to remember the culture in which the movie was made as opposed to the culture in which the book was made. howl is welsh, if that says anything to you. (his name is howell, and he adopted the name howl to run from himself and seem more magical. i love him and movie howl had none of those elements except for when he told us he was a coward and i was like. ok lol, i'll jot that down because i didn't see it in the text)

so i'm not necessarily surprised by the creative changes they made, but i am confused, because those changes drastically affect the characterization, the character motivations, and the pacing of the story.

(i also was only able to get my hands on the dub and i loathe and detest christian bale as howl lmfao but that's subjective)

so first of all, does movie sophie, like, want anything? she's flawless as a character. even though she has a completely different personality as an old lady than she does as a young lady, there's nothing wrong with her. everybody is fond of her, she's shy, she's gentle, she's beautiful, and she's kind, and her only motivation in the whole movie is this vague desire to cure the curse, but even then she doesn't work on it much at all. her life before howl is about being buffeted around like a leaf in the wind, and her life after howl is about being buffeted around like a cow in a twister. sophie in the movie is a blank slate. she is insecure about her looks (seriously, they couldn't even give her like a crooked nose or something, only doll-faced, thin, pale women over here), and her confessing this and crying about it for about four seconds was the first truly deep emotional response i had seen of her. i cried when she cried, who doesn't grapple with feelings of inadequacy? then the kid came out and she was like, okay, i'm done being upset now :)

second of all, howl is a little eccentric, but mostly he's just a glorious gentleman who has a messy room and one (1) overly dramatic depressive episode. it was disturbing to me as a viewer because it was violent and came out of nowhere, and it never comes back again lmao. it was so bizarre, he's introduced as this suave, debonair man in a cape, and he stays that way the entire movie, except for a weird moment in the middle where he screams at sophie naked and then lists the character flaws that we the viewers have never witnessed. why does he like sophie? why does sophie like him?

why did they turn michael into a child? i just don't see what that added to the story lmao. i get them taking out the complexity of secrets involving sophie's decidedly interchangeable sisters and their mystery beaus, it's a lot to fit into a little movie; but like, why did they turn him into a child though lmao

there's a lot of fatphobia in the movie too.

the change that upset me the most, though, was that the element of sophie having the ability to influence things without her knowledge was totally abandoned. like i said, things just sort of happen to her. in the book, her hats are the most lovely because she's inadvertently cast spells on them to make whoever wears them seem alluring or mysterious to people. the witch curses her because she recognizes these little spells and believes sophie's trying and failing to trick her (and also because sophie snaps at her lmao, why is movie sophie only an asshole when she's old? leave my daughter alone).

book sophie unknowingly protects howl by worrying over his cape (which she previously shredded because she got mad at him, i love her), she unknowingly enchants the scarecrow by helping it stand and complimenting it. she does that the entire book. she also starts the book already feeling sort of dull and trapped, and spends the story trying desperately to solve mysteries and protect loved ones. movie sophie doesn't like, sit around and knit demurely, don't get me wrong; but all the major plot points are things that howl makes happen to her lol.

i think the scarecrow is an excellent representation of book sophie's inner struggles. it's something she inadvertently enchanted, and she doesn't understand it, so she runs from it. she's terrified of the thing. in that way it kind of stands in for her own agency: only when she was forcibly in disguise did she feel free to find out what she wants her life to look like, and that kind of power is foreign and frightening to her. i loved that for her.

and very late in the book, howl reveals that he knew all along she was under a spell, that he tried to get rid of it out of curiosity (book howl doesn't seem to notice that he's just as imperious and nosy as sophie is), but she resisted it. he couldn't get the spell off. so he assumed she wanted to stay that way and let her be about it. so basically it's very huck finn on the raft, she realizes that in running to get away, she was already away. she had that agency all along.

all of that was missing from movie sophie. the idea of her inadvertently hanging on to the curse is still there, we see that she sort of fades back to her young self while she's asleep (not the case in the book, we know this because howl doesn't know what she looks like until she turns back in the end); but she doesn't seem to gain any knowledge about herself because of this. the only time she seems to have any personal drive, it's to learn about and help howl. her inner struggles are about howl. and i hated movie howl lmao, i hated his design and i hated his voice and i hated how like, patronizing he was to everyone around him. book howl was a condescending dick at times and just weird and distant at others, but he never came across like he was absolutely positive he was seducing sophie at any given moment. it was clear that he was the star of the movie and sophie was just the audience stand in to be like 🤩🥸🧐

the scarecrow who is a prince was the most hilariously egregious moment in the entire movie. in the book, the missing prince is introduced as a plot in the beginning and is referenced repeatedly throughout. and he's a major player in the climax. in the movie, it's the last like five minutes of the film and the scarecrow turns into a dapper boy with bread for hair and is like, "you've cured me! i'm a prince who went missing from a nearby kingdom and i was cursed but now i'm free." and i was like NICE, so we just found out there's a nearby kingdom that has a prince who's been missing. love that for us

the book had a lot of themes that i don't often encounter in fantasy novels - themes of female agency, of disguise, and of chaos. the chaos is my favorite part, every chapter is equally chaotic at various levels. you'll have michael fretting over some spell, sophie fretting over her own spell, howl trying to get someone in disguise to fall in love with him, THAT someone pining over michael, and all the while sophie and howl are bickering because she is cleaning (it seems like she cleans to clean up her mind) and he doesnt want her to (he is afraid of change and of reality), and he needs a huge favor of her, and she needs to wheedle out of it, and she promised calcifer she would free him, and calcifer is repeatedly promising to die of not being appreciated enough, and everybody is having three arguments at once. it's like that in every chapter, culminating in the moment howl and sophie realize they're in love, and they stand clasping hands and sort of smiling at each other in the middle of a room full of panicking and perplexed people just yelling over each other lmfao. surrounded by chaos and no longer thrown by it, rooted there in the middle of it, stabilizing each other in a way. i loved that. i actually flipped back a few pages so i could read that moment again.

and it seemed to me that the movie tried to imply that with visual chaos, but everything else was really quite linear and simple. everything was very airy. and since the conflama and the general atmosphere and character dynamics of the book is what made me fall in love with it, the movie didn't work for me.

tumblr user door pointed out that the book and the movie are extremely different and she appreciates them both as separate entities, and she's wise and correct; i knew this and i tried so hard to engage with the movie on its own terms. but i couldn't divorce them in my mind. i felt the same way about ella enchanted and practical magic. i cant stop thinking like, i wish they hadn't gotten rid of x, i wish they hadn't added this weird element of y.

also it was boring. i checked to see how much more was left three times. sorry. i can't express enough how little i cared about the plot with the witch and somebody's secretly evil boss and time traveling to yell at howl or something, because i didn't connect with the characters. and the feathers growing out of howl triggered my weird phobia about things being embedded in skin. i'm skeeved just remembering it.

anyway, yeah. the movie was beautifully animated and whatever atmosphere they were going for was pretty consistent throughout. oh and i LOVED calcifer. he was my favorite in both the book and the movie. in fact, he was the only character in the movie who they didn't really change, he was petty and bitchy in both versions. i loved him. he's like, "SHE FED ME SOMETHING YUCKY" my perfect, horrible boy.

oh and. book sophie was a redhead. that's all.

after i finished the book i tried to draw how imagined them:

couldn't finish it though, i wasn't super jazzed about how it was coming out.

she's sitting in like, a window well altering a coat of his without permission. and he's like, i guess i'll have to wear this one instead, and she's like, i guess you will

#haters #who is this even #long post #howell's mobile home #talking out of my ass

[thisstableground]

do you have any hcs for if usnavi's parents hadn't died? it would change him and his story a lot and I feel like it could be really interesting, how he's still him but with such different experiences. and you write him and get his character so well so you're definitely the person to ask about this kind of thing if you're up for it :) (also as a fellow brit the uk au is really really weird to me, I can't quite work out why)

(lmao ikr? i wouldn’t actually call it a uk au because i firmly do not believe it could work as a fully-fledged idea without changing way too much about a very culturally specific story in a way that has very uncomfortable implications, tho it is hilarious to briefly entertain the idea of ITH except it’s all set in fuckin milton keynes or something because Simply No Thank You)

THIS WILL BE LONG, BUCKLE UP

i think that a lot of canon usnavis traits are perhaps things he already had but that got magnified by a huge amount after losing his parents, because they could also be seen as ADHD traits; particularly the anxiety and the difficulty with making changes or starting new things. he’s still worried about messing up, about making a fool of himeslf, or just doesnt have the executive functioning to do things. but the difference is prior to losing his parents he had a lot more optimism and self-confidence to push himself past those anxieties or to find it easier to listen to his friends and family when they encourage him, because he has this certainty when he’s younger that things will turn out okay. an usnavi who never loses his parents carries that certainty into adulthood (i think even after abuela passes, because while it’s difficult and tragic for him, it isn’t deeply traumatising in the same way). so this version of usnavi still worries about failure, but the stakes are so much lower; he might embarrass himself but he has the safety net of his parents support, whereas the fear that fuels canon usnavi’s difficulty with changing things or moving forward is “what if i fuck up and lose someone else important to me again?”, where things which aren’t actually literal life-or-death tend to feel that way to him, and he’s a lot more cynical about whether things will have a positive outcome.

with his parents still alive doesn’t find it so terrifying to look into the future – “today’s all we got”, he says in the opening song, and i think he would still say that but in a way that means “live for today, live in the moment, enjoy life”. that might be the attitude he’s trying to get across in canon, but he also uses it as a way to hold himself back and keep himself stuck in place, to not let himself hope for anything in the future: in canon, he knows in a very painful way that he isn’t promised a future, and nobody he loves is promised a future, so why make plans or hypotheticals or even seriously believe that he’ll ever go back to DR? (i genuinely think there’s a subconscious part of him that’s firmly convinced he’s going to die young, but that’s a whole other tangent). he’s living in the moment because he’s scared of what he’ll see when he looks past it; usnavi with his parents still around lives in the moment because he likes the moment he’s in.

i wonder if him and vanessa would have ended up dating, or at least if they’d have been so successful and long-lasting as a couple. they’e always known each other and got on well, but i see their deeper feelings as growing out of  this shared understanding between them based on the difficulties they’ve been through – would they have still had the champagne bet, if usnavi didn’t have that grief and loss and extra responsibility that drives his vague non-plans to go live in DR? would he even want to leave new york, in this version, or would he still be content with the place he grew up because it doesn’t have those painful memories? 

the character arc of reconciling moving forward from a place that symbolises a painful past without having to completely sever from the good things about it is something that both of them share in canon. without those moments of both being given too many responsibilities and too much independence way too young because they don’t have parents who can ease the transition into adulthood, or this unspoken recognition that even with all their barrio family around both of them are very much on their own in some ways, would they make the deeper emotional connection that makes them work so well together in a more long-term way? or would they just have gone on a few casual dates that didn’t stand out from any other casual dates they might have with others?

and hell, maybe usnavi would’ve already been in a relationship with someone completely different – he’d be working at the store with two other people who were experienced in running it. he’d have so much more time to go out, have a social life, go to clubs and hang out with more people his own age. usnavi after losing his parents became quite disconnected from the larger group of people him and benny would hang out with at school; he doesn’t have the time, he doesn’t have the energy, and for a long time while he’s still so deep in grief i think they find it hard to know how to be friends with this quiet, broken, listless usnavi. they’re all still friendly but internally i think he loses his sense of place with his peers because he’s been rapidly catapulted into a stage of life that none of them are in. an usnavi who doesn’t lose his parents also doesn’t lose his sense of being around the same level and life stage as his peers, so who knows who he meets or develops feelings for?

his relationship with sonny is definitely different. his love and care for him isn’t so full of fear, because he doesn’t feel this need to protect him from every little thing or like it’s his personal responsibility to keep him alive, because it doesn’t really occur to him that he could lose him. canon usnavi i think has a lot more of a somewhat parental vibe, and often an overprotective parent at that. i think this usnavi, because he doesn’t have to grow up so quickly and he isn’t sonny’s boss, has much more of a fun big brother role. and i think sonny in return doesn’t feel so much responsibility for usnavi as he grows up - he doesnt feel like he has to force him to have fun or get some rest or put himself first every so often because usnavi doesnt push himself nearly so relentlessly and because his parents can look out for him when he does. 

maybe sonny doesn’t start working in the bodega until much later, either – a lot of why he spends so much time there is because usnavi watches him while his mom’s at work but can’t just close the store. if his parents are there to keep working then usnavi watches sonny at one of their homes, or they go out and do more stuff. the bodega is still important to both of them but it isn’t nearly as much a main setting for sonny’s adolescence as it is in canon.

on that note, since in my version the first thing that makes usnavi hold an instant vendetta against pete is catching pete tagging the store only a few weeks after losing his parents, where his feelings are still so intense and raw. the store hasn’t reopened and so the graffiti feels like someone else making a claim on the only thing he has left of his parents. in this version he’d be annoyed to catch someone tagging the store at most but much quicker to forgive and forget. so in a world where usnavi doesn’t lose his parents, usnavi also doesn’t hate graffiti pete.

 if we’re assuming that things did go roughly similar to the point of usnavi being in the club with vanessa on the night of the blackout, here’s the things that would change:

- sonny isn’t the one at the bodega, his parents are, and they’re together so usnavi doesn’t feel the same urgency to get back and check on things there when the power goes out. instead he finds vanessa and walks her home and by the time he’s back at the store, i think his mom would already be with abuela making sure she’s okay, and usnavi would focus on helping his dad make sure everything was safe and secure at the bodega

- he’s also probably still pretty drunk at this point, so there’s a chance that when everything at the store is secured he just goes straight to bed; it’s been a long night, and he’s tired, and he doesn’t have the trauma of past loss making him feel like he personally has to check every little thing himself. he trusts his parents to take care of abuela, it isn’t all on his shoulders. so they don’t have their moment together on the roof.

- whether the store gets looted in this version or not, i don’t think usnavi’s waking up at sunrise to deal with it, but even if he is then he gets up, helps his parents, is upset and annoyed but not in the same visceral, overwhelming way that he is in canon because he doesn’t have all those other long-term anxieties building up in him, he doesn’t have that pressure of his parents legacy tied up in the store when they’re still right there, he doesn’t have that conversation with vanessa where she’s hurt and betrayed that he left her in the blackout and didn’t check up on her.  (sidenote this may even mean that vanessa doesn’t move downtown, because if he isnt looking for a way to make things up to her before he leaves then he might not think to speak to dani about co-signing her apartment)

-  this means he probably doesn’t get overwhelmed and abandon cleanup to go visit abuela in the morning like he does in canon when we get Hundreds of Stories. he might not even be around, since he tells sonny in canon to get a generator and candles to the church and that’s probably an errand he’d do himself while his parents manned the store. this means he probably does not see abuela that one final time or have that one final meaningful conversation with her before she passes.

final sad note: in a version of events where usnavi never loses his parents, christmas is still his favourite time of year.

#in the heights #usnavi de la vega #fandom: in the heights #long post #good to know that no matter what universe i find a way to make myself so sad about usnavi #Anonymous

[one-doesnt-simply-walk-in-bagend]

MDZS Pacific Rim au

Ok I’m gay and love soulmate shit like souls just meant for each other whether platonic/familial/romantic just that shits so good and what better way to express that than in huge robots beating up giant monsters?

So jaegers right? Ok sect backgrounds

Yunmeng Jiang: Specialize in water battles with controlled yet fluid movements. They specialize in midranged battle with swords and whips that keep kaiju at a distance but theyre also very adept at close combat. They definitely have hidden daggers in every open crevice of their jaegers

Gusu Lan: Specialize in more aerial battles, not like sustained in air battles but using different maneuvers to gain the advantage over kaiju. They tend to work in pairs and work in tandem to disorient and overwhelm the kaiju. They’re strict because not only do you have to vibe with your copilot but you also have to know what other pilots are thinking so you can work together 

Qinghe Nie: Ok so Nies made some of the og jaegers with nuclear power and low shielding because it give them a Massive Boost in power but it was also dangerous for their pilots. While the other sects went for better shielding and less dangerous power sources, the nies kept the trade off because pilots felt that risking their lives was worth protecting their people. Nie pilots tend to die young

Lanling Jin: Kind of like the Nies the Jin style has trade offs. They opt for thing light plating so they are quick to maneuver and get at weak points on kaiju. They specialize in speed and precision to keep them alive and effective. They’re basically squishy genjis 

Qishan Wen: Idk I feel they have experimental but dangerous tech that they test. The sects are wary of them but they get results so there’s not much they can complain about. The wens have the advantage because so many of their population are drafted for their pilot program where the other sects take volunteers and people who want to become disciples.

This might get long so imma put the rest under a read more :L

Ok so do we want plot or soulmates first? Hmmm plot to explain the soulmates

We start with wwx and jc. Yzy trains them fast and hard with the other disciples and they both excel in their training. Wwx and jc have a jaeger named Night’s Envy. 

They are a team to be reckoned with as they balance each other. Wwx is impulsive but has great instincts and his ideas are brilliant if risky. Jc on the other hand is calculating and analytical and he takes his brothers ideas and turns them into a viable plan they can both pull off. 

Yzy is always harsh on wwx for his tactics saying hes going to get his brother hurt one day but wwx just laughs it off with jc bc they trust each other so well. 

Also because they drift, they know of each others insecurities and help each other when tensions spike etc etc. We are here for supportive brothers ok?? They are the Twin Heroes of Yunmeng and are inseparable. 

God I havent even gotten to the plot yet. Ok this is a bit of a step back to their training days but this is where wwx and lwj met. Wwx and jc go to the Cloud Recesses training facility because its the most advanced in the country. It’s strict there but their training is top notch and keeps their pilots alive. Ofc wwx gets busted by lwj for alcohol and thats how wwx gets on lwjs radar.

Lwj doesnt know how to feel about wwx, besides annoyed, because hes such an amazing pilot but doesnt control his actions. Wwx excels in the studies and training but is so carefree and flippant about everything that it frustrates him to no end. Doesn’t help that wwx loves to rile lwj up to get a reaction

They end up developing a competitive relationship and always try to outdo each other in training sims and sparing. All the other disciples know about the top two students duking it out for top spot but they keep switching between each session. Before they get to actually try drifting together wwx gets into a fight with jzx and gets kicked out (spoilers they are drift compatible) 

Ok back to our Twin Heroes. Night’s Envy gets deployed for a kaiju but their fight starts to drift into Wen territory. Idk regulations or smth say they shouldn’t infringe on anothers territory so yzy tells them to come back but wwx spots the kaiju headed for an undefended village. It would take the wens time to deploy their own pilots so wwx and jc look at each other and nod. Wwx says their headed to save the village and yzy is furious telling him off for being impulsive and not listening but it was also jc’s idea (he wont say that tho bc he doesnt want him to get into trouble)

Wwx has a wild idea, jc finds out how to make it work, and they go after the kaiju as it bears down on the village. They’re able to push it back but it gets a hit in and jc gets injured and knocked out. Wwx is left to pilot solo and manages to subdue the kaiju before piloting the jaeger to crash next to the village

This is where Wen Qing and Wen Ning come in because this is their village and they pull wwx and jc out from the wreckage. Wq stabilizes both of them and wwx is the one to wake up first. Their comms were broken in the fight and the village doesnt have advanced enough comms to get to the jiangs so wwx stays and helps the village while taking care of his brother who is still Out

Little do they know that the Wens are Unhappy about them infringing on their territory and bar yzy from sending parties to collect her pilots and jaeger and theres now Tension. (Wens are just using this as an excuse bc they want more power in the jaeger industry and want to incorporate the other sects)

Once wwx catches wind of this, he enlists wn’s help in getting them out and they’re able to get an unconscious jc back into the jiang’s hands but then he himself gets caught by wen chao and wen zhuliu. he’s able to say wn was his prisoner and forced so hes safe but wwx is now in their hands.

He gets beaten, tortured, etc for information but manages to escape and find his way back to the wen village. Wq helps him back to health bc he protected her brother and he stays there because he can be safe there. (This is where he basically adopts a-yuan bc i say so)

When jc wakes up hes back with the jiangs but his brother isn’t there. He goes Off and hes doing everything he can to try and get back to find his brother but he was unconscious and has no clue about the village let alone where it is. 

Soon war breaks out between the sects bc the wens are using their weird tech to take territories from the other sects and now the sects are fighting on two fronts: the kaiju and the wens. Finding wwx is lowest priority for the sects but jc is still out there searching and when lwj hears of it, so is he

I think once the war breaks out wwx starts to move his village of wens to a safer territory from both the wens and other sects bc he knows no one will be spared. During his time at he village, he ventures out to bigger wen cities and learns about their experimental/dangerous tech and learns how to use it and program it to his advantage

He makes his way back to the jiang territories once he has amassed a thorough knowledge of the wen tech. he uses that knowledge to take out wen pilots and outposts in the territories he pushes through and becomes a ghost. the only evidence of his presence is the destruction left in his wake. 

Jc and lwj at this point have just started searching together and thats when they stumble upon wwx using wen tech against the wens. Jc is so angry with wwx for leaving him and being away so long but hes also crying as he hugs him close. Lwj is wary of the tech wwx is using because its experimental and dangerous idk. Jc takes wwx back and they continue fighting the war.

Now the jiangs and thus the rest of the sects have an advantage because they have an insider who knows the wen’s plans (meng yao) and someone who knows how their tech works and can use it against them  (wwx). wwx is able to set up some tech to hold off kaiju so certain forces can be pushed to the wen front to end the war quicker

in the final battle wwx is able to get them a huge advantage with the tech but gets hit hard with backlash and gets knocked out during the battle and lwj and jc defend his unconscious figure as meng yao gets the final blow on wrh and the battle ends. 

Idk i want lans to still be healers cuz i want lwj to take care of an unconscious wwx while jc and the others deal with the end of war idk meetings etc plus there are still like,,, kaiju attacking lmao

jgs is gonna be targeting wwx since he knows the wens tech and its uses etc. the jins go after the remaining wens bc they want their tech blah blah. they find wq’s village and wwx goes off. he goes and rescues them (wn is injured but alive) and takes them away. jgs spins this as wwx trying to amass his own tech to take over or something and people believe that for some reason w/e

the massacre at nightless city is wwx trying to talk to them about the wen remnants being no fighting army etc etc but doesnt matter and someone attacks him and he fights back but of course experimental tech isnt always good and it accidentally gets too powerful and hurts a Lot of People (jyl is alive). wwx is knocked out by the backlash and lwj takes him to safety. 

wn is there and he takes wwx back to where the rest of the remnants are hiding and lwj fights off 33 elders who try to follow/intercept wn and wwx

I haven’t decided how the rest is gonna go but I have Ideas. Tbqh there’s a lot missing in between the bullets but i wanted to get this all down 

#mo dao zu shi #wei wuxian #jiang cheng #lan wangji #mdzs pacific rim au #wwx #lwj #jwy #mdzs #mine #long post

[blookmallow]

i finally rewatched Us watching for details... I also took a bunch of screenshots, I’ve mentioned before I live in santa cruz and grew up going to this boardwalk so im obsessed with this movie, I’m going to go try to take some better comparison shots sometime (here’s a few I took before) (and here’s a Tethered mannequin that was outside of the frightwalk for a while. i havent been inside for ages so I don’t know if they moved him inside or if he’s just gone now) (i HOPE they did something with the theme considering the frightwalk is literally a horror attraction beneath the boardwalk. i dont really want to go in there by myself though lmao. not a fan of animatronics jumping out and screaming at me) 

this is a lot, i have many things to say 

-----------------

- the opening news segment is 11 at 11 

- you can faintly see adelaide/red’s reflection in the tv screen, with a toy rabbit (her shirt also has twin lines on it in multiple places but that could be looking too far lmao) 

- in the “Hands Across America” segment (aside from the obvious red figures linked together in the logo) : “from the golden gate bridge to the twin towers” another possible 11/twinning, and it starts in california, which is where the tethered revolution begins 

- on “from sea to shining sea” the exact same coastline image is just flipped 

(there’s also another 11 on the side of the TV here) 

- “This summer, 6 million people will tether themselves together” 

- brief mirroring in the boardwalk ad, not just two girls running on the beach but also two girls with upside down reflections in the ground, 

- fairly obvious one, but “find yourself” (as a sidenote there’s nothing in that spot irl, the roller coaster and the swings are real but there was never a ‘vision quest’ or a ‘merlin forest’ as far as I know and there’s no door or anything there either, the interior shots must’ve been done separately somewhere else) (nothing’s left here from the movie now either, I have no idea when they filmed it because I never saw anything or heard anything about it) 

- adelaide/red whistles “the itsy bitsy spider” when the lights go out in the vision quest - “down came the rain and washed the spider out,” it’s raining outside when her tethered comes up (and she is dragged down). she also drops her red apple on the ground before she enters 

- zora’s rabbit shirt 

- everyone else is eating fast food of some kind, except adelaide, who is eating red strawberries 

as well as being a visual cue, its possible she has an aversion to meat if she was forced to eat raw rabbit as a child

- young adelaide arranging animals in the sand (it seems like some of the tethered tend to mirror their counterpart’s movements, so it’s possible she’s mirroring red, though it’s probably not that likely she’d be planning this early/the dance hasnt happened yet so its probably just foreshadowing) 

- young adelaide very pointedly watches “her” mother crying, saying “I just want my little girl back” - she will never have her little girl back again, though she doesn’t know it (I’m not sure if adelaide still remembers what she’s done at this point either) 

its also mentioned that ‘grandma’ has passed away as of the present time, likely adelaide’s mother (i dont remember if its stated outright but since the house belonged to the grandma, and it’s in santa cruz, that would line up) so. the tethered mother, if she’s still alive, would not kill red’s real mother in the uprising. dont know about the father, or if red knows/cares about this, but. thats there. that also means the original mother will never know what happened with her daughter (likely the father won’t either, it’s not clear if he’s still alive but there’s no mention of him being around/he’s not at the house so it seems likely he passed already too) 

- adelaide, her reflection, and a (not so) itsy bitsy spider 

theres even two spiders, one a toy, one real 

- jason crawls out of a cabinet at zora’s feet and scares her while she’s looking in a mirror (which is also a very pluto-like movement) 

- adelaide finds the toy rabbit in a box; assuming the intro was chronological, we saw “her” with it in the tv screen reflection before she went to the boardwalk, so this was red’s rabbit first (she probably does not remember this, though) (red also later finds this and cuts off the head, not sure why though)

- adelaide “sees” her child self in the room with her (in her memory) learning her dance alongside her reflection

 but the reflection is the one she “sees” looking directly at her 

(she’s also interrupted by hearing her son, above her, screaming because he’s trapped, but that might not be intentional) (though when red comes down here later, she is also interrupted by her son getting stuck in the closet too)

- she’s also wearing a choker necklace with a matching gold bracelet, maybe an allusion to. the choking and the handcuffs, again i might be looking into it too much, but. the white clothes which steadily become red with blood seems very intentional so i wouldnt be surprised if the jewelry was planned specifically too 

- its really hard to see and its a split second throwaway comment but kitty goes “oh isnt that beautiful” showing her the magazine and i thhiiiink thats a white girl in a native american headdress :’  ) probably doesnt have. much deeper meaning other than ‘clueless white friends’ but 

- guy buried in sand comes bursting to the surface again and scares his friends (also eyyooooo you can see the wharf in the background im down there all the time) (sorry this is still wild to me. i grew up here ive been to that beach like 9 million times)

- i didnt catch it and was waiting for it to be shown again and it wasnt and i dont want to go back for it but anyway jason has a drawing of a bunch of people holding hands in a line like the hands across america thing in his room, theres a lot of drawings around and we see his drawing of the first untethered, so he probably drew that as well

- jason has a hard time communicating, but he seems to use drawing as a way to express himself. he doesn’t tell his mother about the encounter with the old man (and only shrugs when he’s asked about it) but he does draw it. adelaide found self expression through dance when she was a child before she was able to talk, so he probably got those traits from her. her voice also goes low and hollow on the line “I just didn’t know if you were lost, or... taken” 

- her voice also gets very strange when she’s talking about her memory of the encounter in the vision quest. low, shaky, harsh. its fascinating hearing how much alike the voices are (obviously they’re both the same actress/if the tethered are clones it makes sense that they’d have identical vocal chords but like. red’s got a fucked up voice. hearing echos of that in adelaide is wild and i didnt notice it at all before) 

- its not clear whether adelaide actually remembers what she did, or even realizes she was the copy - is she trying to protect her family from what she believes was the girl who almost took her, or trying to stop her from getting her revenge? she describes the event to gabe as if she was the one who was attacked but escaped, and im not sure if she’s lying or has convinced herself that’s the truth

something’s going on with jason and pluto too but I don’t quite know what it is. when we first see jason he’s wearing a Jaws shirt, kind of a similar vibe to the thriller shirt, and when the tethered arrive he’s wearing a white tuxedo t shirt, white matching his mother’s white outfit. the others all go off to kill their doubles but pluto holds jason’s hand, sits with him quietly, watches his magic trick, he’s told to go “play” which. obviously has a violent undertone to it but he doesn’t actually try to kill him. i dont even remember seeing him with the scissors. why are jason and pluto different. why does pluto get stuck mirroring jason’s movements even to the point of his death but the others dont. why didn’t adelaide mirror red

i guess its possible its because pluto is the youngest in the family so maybe he hasn’t broken out of his connection yet? they didnt really ever explain how they learned to do that 

and as for the connection with adelaide it. could just be that jason takes after his mom more and zora takes after her dad more but that seems too simple. i mean theres the theory going around that jason was actually switched with his clone too at some point and its got some good points (jason forgetting the magic trick, getting stuck in the closet again, etc) but theres a whole line of logic to debunk that too so its just. What’s Going On Here  

cal 11 

i took the first pic to get a comparison shot at the same place later irl but then noticed the ambulance they come across is the same one (#2) they saw earlier 

pretty obvious but the real rabbit comes out through the picture of an identical rabbit (there’s also probably a “rabbit hole” allusion here) 

i noticed this before too but now i have a screenshot of it, im the rabbit in the background just chilling on the floor during the climax here

- im sure i must have seen this before but i forgot about it. the 11:11 guy’s tethered didn’t have a sign so he just.......carved it into his head

- it never healed, either, he did it badly enough to scar

- red says “I couldn’t stop thinking about you, how you could have taken me with you” - she doesn’t mean adelaide ran off and left her there. adelaide made the choice to trap her in the underground. its possible red might have even been thinking how she would have let adelaide come with her if given the chance, which. i mean, i dont know how her parents would have reacted to suddenly having identical twins out of nowhere, but like. knowing there’s a chance red might have accepted her. and all this could have been different 

this is definitely a movie that’s not really intended to be fully explained, there’s a lot of questions that aren’t really supposed to be answered, but nonetheless one of my biggest concerns is where do the clothes come from underground. red tells us they were all abandoned down there generations ago so nobody’s supervising or providing anything. how do they end up with copies of the clothing their counterparts are wearing. and here adelaide has a messed up faded old shirt that either looks similar to red’s shirt or is the same shirt just badly damaged, she switches it with red’s before she goes out for good so that explains how she gets the new shirt, but where did this one come from. why is it different if the other clothes aren’t

and of course there’s the whole question of “where did they all get these red jumpsuits from” but again. questions that aren’t really the point, i guess

#liveblog general #Us #us movie #jordan peele #us 2019 #pinned #media analysis

[lordeasriel]

I’m back with my impressions, from chapter 12-19. I was gonna include chapter 20 as well, but it’s an 1 hour long, and I’m getting forgetful already, so i’m keeping it out to include after. under the cut for spoilery reasons:

Giorgio Brabandt after telling lyra about the secret commonwealth:  “You don't look like you believe a word of this”. Lyra monkey side eye meme: "I do". She absolutely didn’t. LMAO

Olivier throwing the photo of the girls away after taking Lyra's face out of it, because "the girls were too English to be attractive" what a garbage can of a man lmao he is so irritating, I cannot deal with that.

Malcolm is so sly while interrogating the murder associate dude lmaooo I love how he perceives Oakley Street members: "so liberal and tolerant, so civilised, and the organization they embodied" That was so beautiful and so, idk, romantic perhaps? Which is completely out of character for me to enjoy, but I did.

Did they turn the mausoleum into an archive? I wonder if I understood that correctly. That is a weird choice for an archive.

The fact Oakley Street is not as strong, but in fact, it is actually weaker than it was before oh no That was a sad blow. I think they’re doing everything wrong. They should be worried about recruiting, not marching into a war with the Magisterium. I love Godwin, she is powerful, reasonable, imperative, she reeks of wisdom and I love it.

Pan’s chapter where is looking for a boat to board, it made me realise Lyra’s world would be much cooler if daemons could roam free. He notes that he doesnt have the opportunity to speak and ask questions, because daemons without their people are something terrible. But if that was more widely accepted, Pan would have less trouble than he is actually having.

Pope Calvin was a dumbass, he turned an already bad is institution into a horrible corporation LMAO and it keeps on getting worse. I loved the conference so much. I think it embodies nicely how I envision them, as a nest of vipers; big Galactic Senate vibes to be very honest.

Speaking of Star Wars references, Marcel makes me think of Palpatine, all that cunning, all that slyness or whatever. He really does Marisa’s justice in some ways, but he is indeed too cautious.

His modesty speech with the woman/nun was... awful, in some ways. As in he is so blatantly manipulating things it feels too good to be true. I do like him, hell I’m attracted to him LMAO somewhere in the Abyss, Asriel is heavily disappointed with me. I am sorry, I still love you, I just find trashy men attractive, Asriel.

Olivier is irritating, but cunning, and made I’m projecting, but oh fuck, he is too much of a millennial for my taste. I think he is too cliche, sulking, brooding young man; it was fun on the first two appearances, but now it’s getting tiresome the way he is described as a persistent, clever man. It feels force, I don’t know. I’d rather he be a woman of different qualities, it would be much more interesting for me.

Marisa is Marcel’s sister, and she’s supposed to be his older sister as Olivier’s daemon tells him. I loved that, although it’s a little odd. I like the idea that they were twins better, but oh well. I wish we could have more women like her in the Magisterium’s arc, because it’s mentioned she was a prominent force. I love that, it does her so much justice.

Their mother is the stuff of nightmares LMAO but Marcel is so nasty to her, it makes me feel that the whole family has issues. I do wonder if Marisa changed her name to Van Zee, or if they changed theirs to Delamere. I prefer van zee to be very honest.

Lyra reminding herself of the time when she could intimidate gyptian boys, it was a neat display of her self assurance and I wish there were more parallels between her and Marisa because a lot of the things she treasure about her, things she now lacks, are things I think come from Marisa.

Coram telling Lyra to let Will go. Well, fucking finally, a person with a good sense. I thought she was finally gonna stop with that, but oh no, another bunch of paragraphs of whining. I can’t.

And Coram being so fragile.... I’m Sad.

“Was the universe alive or dead?” That was a horrible question that left me heavy breathing for five minutes. I too have been questioning things like these and I love the pain in Lyra’s exstential crisis.

Marcel enjoying Olivier’s discomfort: that was so funny, Marcel is so bad, but he does sometimes feel like overly mean for no reason and I wish, I don’t know, I kinda hoped that Marisa’s family would be normal, or not so nasty.

My favourite part so far, a summary: “What do you know about Marcel? Well, he is not married and we think he ain't gay.” The fact people don’t care about him because he makes himself uninteresting to tabloids is... a skill.

“Knowledge is like water it always finds gaps to leak through” That was, I don’t know, powerful? Touching? Something I relate to heavily and that I will not elaborate as of now.

Tatiana Asrielnovna 😭😭😭😭 That made me sad. The fact she thinks of Asriel for this things, and then I noticed, how Asriel comes first, and how she thinks so little of Marisa and that hurts.

Malcolm pov is smooth and entertaining and much more action-driven than Hannah's was, for many different reasons, including the fact that she was more scholar than spy, in comparison to Malcolm’s more physical disposition. I like him a lot. He is charismatic and sweet and very, very clever. But he still makes mistakes and I like it.

"Useful idiot" hahahaah I love Marcel, he is too funny and he is so done with humanity in general. I find that #relatable.

The blind girl was a nice addition, it was a sweet moment and a little sad too.

Pan remembering Lyra lashing out at Asriel. Pullman keeps on hurting me and the very few feelings I have. These little remarks, the small things about her parents, this is what keeps me so entertained to be fair. I just love the connections, I love to feel that she still acknowledges them in some way, even though they don’t deserve it.

Brande’s take on fear, which I now forget the entire quote, but that it’s a parasite to human nature, it’s powerful and absolutely and entirely wrong. LMAO Fear is what keeps us human, it keeps us alive. Lyra is constantly afraid.

Malcolm "I'mma steal a boat" hahahah he really has too much chills, even for a crime.

I loved seeing lyra contesting Talbot’s theory, which I did with her. I disagree entirely with everything he says and so does she, at least, she begins to. The man has not a single argument that is solid; he does what many people do: manipulate words that mean nothing, to a sentence so difficult to understand if you’re not sharp or focused enough, that you believe it with not a second guess. Peak Academia elitism.

i feel like Marcel’s either involved with the schools of thought that are causing a rampage or that he is taking advantage of that. It’s too convenient. I don’t know.

I did went back to LBS and I heard Marisa’s voice and I did notice that Michael chose to make Marcel speak in a very similar paced way. I don’t know if it’s deliberate or not, but I thought that was cool. They both sound smooth and condescending. I hope they mention Marisa more, I hope Lyra thinks of her, I don’t know, for a second maybe.

I had hoped to finish this weekend, but I doubt I can because there’s 9 hours left still and I can’t stay awake till late today because I work tomorrow. But so far I’m having lots of fun!

#tsc spoilers #the secret commonwealth #effie reads the book of dust

[tenacious-scripturient]

a run-down of / my thoughts on the novel ‘trade secrets’

so! i’ve recently finished this beautifully written novel by @bettsican​, and am anxiously anticipating for the second book in the trilogy! (seriously, give it a read. it’s a great lgbtq+ thriller and mystery story, i promise you’ll love it!! you can find trade secrets in many places, including amazon, where it’s only $6)

as i was reading it, i noted down all the thoughts i had. it was fun, interesting, and kept me on the edge of my seat!

oh, and spoiler warning, of course.

Chapter One

okay. this is interesting. why are they in paris? or rather, why are they NOT in paris?

2080. damn.

who is cooper hall and why is he important i want to knowwwwwwww

Chapter Two

HOLY FUCK

CHAPTER ONE WAS A PROLOGUE

OKAY IF I DIDNT NEED TO BEFORE I HAVE TO READ IT NOW

-ahem- anyway

nate literally everything you think of has to relate to smoking, doesnt it?

clyde you absolutely bitch raccoon

im sort of piecing together what’s happening here? either way this is a SUPER interesting concept.

i love the idea of every word being important

nate look at you being a nice guy. testing the CAPS before giving them to ur clients

or maybe it’s just good business

but whatever

okay, so credits are money in this world. but how do people get them? obviously there’s what nate’s doing but what’s the legal way to get them? ill probably find out soon

if it wasnt explicitly said by betty that nate ends up with another guy (i forget his name. cooper?) i would have thought audry was the romantic interest

audry you loving caring hypocrite

i feel like she’s gonna be one of my favourite characters

who is this young man that dares disturb nate’s slumber

cooper? cooper.

Chapter Three

nate get up

u turtle get up and hurry down the stairs

or—okay you can fall into that drywall that works too

ohhhhh so nate is a detective. that’s interesting

i also love this idea of keeping secrets (haha trade secrets)

dude are you sure that your embarrassing entrance wasn’t the ONLY reason you blushed? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

HEIGHT DIFFERENCE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE HEIG—

nate ur spending an awful lot of time looking at his features you funky little bisexual

oh damn ur smarter than u seem, just watching him take a single breath and you’re already making connections. i guess that’s why he’s a detective

im gonna assume this is cooper, even tho it never explicitly says so

i feel like we aren’t gonna get his name for a while, bc clients and whatnot and not getting attached

Chapter Four

NATE WEARS GLASSES???????

that’s kind of cute

im lowkey gay rn

anyway

NATE CALLED HIM SWEET-FACED AND PRETTY-FACED O K A Y

oh he has curly brown hair

and oh the glasses aren’t real glasses. oh. the use is actually pretty cool!

so from what im gathering civilians are people who don’t live in sanctuaries, and lemnis are people who do?

cooper sweetie why do u need so much money what have u done

nate’s pretty clever

HAH I WAS RIGHT WE AREN’T GONNA GET HIS NAME FOR A WHILE

well that’s that i guess

Chapter Five

he’s so timid awh

hehe he’s on nate’s bed

sorry

goddammit man calm down or else you’re gonna get everyone in a 5-mile radius around you arrested

wait…. zero-credit balance?? didn’t he just have a few hundred thousand credits???

OH THIS IS A FAKE PROFILE HE MADE

so cooper isn’t his real name either

oh

Chapter Six

oh we’re back to 2080

oh they’re back in the apartment??

it was obvious before but at this point it’s confirmed that they’re going to be doing some travelling together or something

Chapter Seven

this is getting really interesting i dont wanna stop reading and type everything that comes to mind

these are gonna be shorter now hehe

“i’d been a petri dish of mixed emotions and wild chemical changes for half the day” I LOVE THAT METAPHOR LMFAO

what happened with nate’s mom

i want to know

my prediction: she wanted him to either change up or completely remove the chip bc she did something horrible? or maybe she just wanted to leave idk im bad at predictions

either way it said she was crazy

o h

that’s why he’s terrified of cutting the chip

poor nate

Chapter Eight

oh this is strangely intimate

very intimate

i feel that, because cooper has such high pain tolerance (or doesn’t show pain), he has some backstory for it

Chapter Nine

lmao nate just went off didnt he

THEIR FLIRTING IS CUTE FHJKJDLSKAJDKLSJAK

also is being lgbtq+ widely accepted as the norm in this setting? bc nate considered cooper to be flirting with him

ughhhh it’s so good so far, from the character interactions to the suspense, especially in this chapter

Chapter Ten

rude cooper is rude, rude nate is even more rude

F E D O R A

“coop”

Chapter Eleven

aw i love jimmy already—

WHAT THE FUCK COOPER

EXCUSE ME

JIMMY

WHAT

HOW COULD YOU

goddammit

what the fuck is cooper hiding

cooper oh my god

you

you’re playing a dangerous game, mate

are you really that heartless

“deceptively innocent eyes” you got that right

this chapter hurted

thanks a lot jess

Chapter Twelve

“like a weeping wound on the canvas of my home” this has got to be one of my favourite similes ever omg

the way nate’s describing cooper makes my heart hurt awh

i feel like butterflies have some sort of symbolism

maybe being ugly on the outside and beautiful on the inside, or vice versa? the vice versa was basically cooper lol

aye we finally get to meet audry!!

PEANUT BUTTER AND TRICYCLE I WANNA HEAR ABOUT THAT

i love audry omg

IT’S NATE’S BIRTHDAY?? HAPPY BIRTHDAY YA SMOKEY CONMAN

“bright eyes” is the cutest nickname ever

Chapter Thirteen

oh we’re back to 2080

wait what they’re trapped together

is this story gonna have a sad ending

please no

Chapter Fourteen

OH IT’S THE LINE ON THE COVER

i like that

nate’s back to where he left cooper

also if it wasn’t obvious before, it’s definitely obvious now that nate and cooper or gonna find each other again. hm. not sure how i feel about that

kind of pissed at cooper but also we need him for the story to progress

O H

COOPER IM ONLY KIND OF PISSED AT YOU NOW

IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE

NATE IVE SAID IT BEFORE BUT YOU’RE PRETTY CLEVER

also who is ‘her’?

COOPER WANTS TO BECOME A?? LEMNIS?? GODDAMMIT MAN

I CAN FEEL THE PRESSURE RISING

nate’s in danger

wow this chapter is

a lot

i need a break

-cue a break-

Chapter Fifteen

i’m back

eisley is a cool last name

oh wait so even people outside of sanctuaries can become a lemniscate

i’m still not 100% sure what a lemniscate is

it’s so ironic elijah’s last name is king, but i assume you did that on purpose. i also like the slight nod to royalty by his first name

OH

COOPER’S BACK

why hello there

Chapter Sixteen

they’re

competing

to become a lemniscate

and one of them dies

do they fight back?? is that why they end up in prison??? so many thoughts are going through my head right now

nate, your fantasy about becoming a lemniscate is surprisingly dark. i’m totally down for it

Chapter Seventeen

oh wait so joshua is cooper’s blackmailer?? Interesting that it’s a lemniscate

i keep forgetting nate is wearing glasses

cooper, my dude, calm the fuck down. you’re gonna get yourself and nate killed

it’s the return of soft™ nate

Chapter Eighteen

oh there’s another one

oh this is very ominous i don’t like

Chapter Nineteen – Twenty-One

okay i was eating while i read so i couldn’t type here but just know that these chapters were really really good

Chapter Twenty-Two

wait fuck what’s happening this is all happening so fast

cooper brought out his gun,,,, it’s aimed at ivonne,,,,,,, they’re walking,,,

OH IT WAS A FAKE KIDNAPPING

nice

i like ivonne a lot

Chapter Twenty-Three

the entire story just changed course

this isn’t just about cooper and nate anymore, it’s about a corrupt government

NATE AND COOPER ARE HOLDING HANDS AS THEY RUN THROUGH THE BARRIER THAT’S SO ROMANTIC

also the line “only the dead are ever truly free” is beautiful

THAT’S WHERE PARIS COMES IN

THEY ALL GO TO FRANCE DON’T THEY

I’m so curious to find out where this story is going

Chapter Twenty-Four

this is doin me a confusion

but tbh these hints/ visions of the future, if you could call them that, are giving just enough information to keep me super interested. props to you

Chapter Twenty-Five

AUDRY STOP TEASING NATE

just joking keep doing it, this might actually get their relationship somewhere

ivonne is definitely my favourite character so far. she reminds a little of melia from xenoblade chronicles, in that they’re both ‘royalty’ that rebel. also they’re badass and smart

oh fuck the brother is here

okay thank god he’s not an asshole

oh god things are happening again

Chapter Twenty-Six

nate stop ogling at cooper when you’re in a life-or-death situation

holy shit the lemniscate are messed up

this crew is pretty great, it sucks that it’s almost the end of the book

WAIT I FORGOT THERE’S A SECOND COMING SOON HECK YEAH

anyway

YES COOPER PULL THROUGH

awwww yiss

Chapter Twenty-Seven

oh

oh

O H

oh my god i ship them so hard

THEY KISSED

THIS IS SO STEAMY

this chapter was art thank you so much for this

Chapter Twenty-Eight

AHAHAH AUDRY

once again, i’d like to state how much i love her

oh the tension just grew twentyfold

this is… great

oh god nate what are you planning, you just got together with cooper and now you want to leave him?

Chapter Twenty-Nine

what’s with all the dancing?

Chapter Thirty

oh god the description

so he’s going around and giving people credits, all the while confessing things that would help the lemniscate track him down. i assume this means he’s going to die, but why?

just what are you planning?

oh we’re back to clyde, the guy who started it all. it feels full circle

Chapter Thirty-One

OH

HE’S MAKING HIS CHIP SHOW THAT HE’S DEAD

that’s much smarter

FUCK

NATE YOU IDIOT—COOPER’S REAL NAME

SHIT NOW KING IS HERE

everything’s going downhill now isn’t it

Chapter Thirty-Two

wait that took an even darker turn

there’s so much happening right now i can’thandlethis

cooper and nate are couple goals

Chapter Thirty-Three

king isn’t as horrible as i thought

still horrible, but not a monster

NEVER MIND YOU’RE A FUCKING MONSTER WHAT IS THIS BS

cooper

actually

shot

nate

Chapter Thirty-Four

OH MY GOD

WHAT

THIS IS HOW YOU END IT

I CAN’T

HOW DARE YOU

NO

NO

NO

NO

i need the next book

like right now

what the hell

Final Thoughts

okay so this book was SO good, and so well written. like damn

aside from that horrible ending how could you do this to me

i’m joking, it was an incredible and emotional ending, i loved it and hated it at the same time

it very rarely felt static, and especially in the first half, there was a good mix of action and backstory/description. it was never boring

the story is just,,, so unique. i seriously haven’t read anything like it, EVER

the world-building?? Is?? so vast?? and insane??

the increasing tension and speed as the story progressed is perfect, i felt my heart beating faster the more i read

anyway that’s all from me

this book was amazing i cannot wait for the next

#writeblr #other writeblrs #trade secrets #phahbiyah speaks

[anyhao-archived]

okay im finally getting around to posting this, tbh i had to take a few days to (rest) before i thought more about this lol. also sorry it’s so long, ill put it under a read more. ANYWAYS my vav experience, as follows:

so for the fan sign there was a Lot going on so i forgot most of it but.. barons teeth sparkled when he smiled lmao anyways st van was first and I told him he was my moms favorite and he went rly?? in a really cute voice and he just seemed so surprised, it was endearing

and then jacob... i don’t mess with him anymore. jk lol he was so freaking attractive but like in a Hot way? his smile was so nice that im pretty sure i garbled my words but i tried to tell him i really like love night.. and I was going to ayno and like idk if i was joking to myself or what but just loud enough i actually said, oh that’s lots of bling! and both ayno and jacob heard me, ayno laughed genuinely and jacob was like omg i can’t believe this idiot.. i don’t think i said anything to ayno, he seemed really uncomfortable so i didn’t want to bother him anymore. but his laugh was genuine i could tell, and for a split second i don’t think he was wearing his Idol Mask(TM) when he smiled. but that’s probably just wishful thinking lol

ACE I CANT BELIEVE HIM he looked so fucking good oh my god i got to him and i called him a Casanova and he went ayyyy with a thumbs up and finger guns and i wanted to die lmfao

when i got to baron he said my name but kinda pronounced it wrong but i corrected him, and he said it again. and then i told him my name rhymes with his and he said mine like four times in different ways trying it out and rhyming it with his stage name😭 HE DIDNT have to say my name that many times, god. his English was so fucking good holy shit and his pronounciation??? Amazing and he’s so handsome up close, like literal Disney prince handsome

ziu talks sooo much!!! I love it and he’s so good looking and kind and he shook my hand and ??? he said to enjoy the show and i told him to enjoy doing the show and he did like a shy smile kind of thing !! you could tell he was trying hard with the English i was rly proud of him

lou had a flower crown on and i complimented on it and he said my name so well and there was more with him but i forgot 😢

but that was just the fan sign lol so much other stuff happened... later during the show i nearly died bc of ayno.. they were picking people to go up on stage, right? and there was a girl in front of me also with her hand raised, like freaking out (maybe a bit too much?) and i was like okay she probably wants it so i kinda like.. stopped raising my hand and gestures to her? If that makes sense... he almost picked her but when he saw me be nice and let her have it, he literally stares at me and picks me, dead on...but someone random that he wasn’t pointing at like ROWS back walked on stage before we could realize it was me but that fucking eye contact i had with him made him SHOOT up my bias list lol now I have to rethink my entire order. im like 75% sure that he picked me because i wasn’t a crazy fan, like the girl in front of me was a bit much.. and obviously if i was willing to give it up im not that insane... ladies, it pays off to be a nice person!

AND JACOB WITH THE BABY please end me i fell for him so much like he’s almost overtaking baron that’s how much i liked him last night and how nice is vav that they tried to pick new people?? like they picked the fan boy, the little baby, the elderly lady.. and they even helped her to and from the stage 💗😍 AND SPEAKING of gentlemanly stuff there was a guy with a wheelchair during the snapshots in line for jacob and when they were done he personally pushed the guy in the wheelchair all the way to where the man needed to go. he breaks my heart and heals it simultaneously, he’s so underrated but still a genuinely and QUIET nice person.. he doesn’t do good stuff to be noticed. like when winter breeze was over, they had the rappers sing it too... but not jacob. i was so upset and he also didn’t do his solo song that i specifically told him i liked, but ayno did two of his. im not bitter at all what do u mean ??? 🤷‍♀️

i feel like more happened at the concert but i can’t think of much more, im sure other fan accounts will have it all. the only thing i can think about is the snapshots anyways lol

the group picture was ... interesting. the hi touch wasnt much except it reinforced my idea that ayno recognized me, bc instead of a high five he held my hand for as long as possible, probably an apology for earlier. i nearly died. the pic ended up looking awful but thats okay lol. then we tried to leave but i ended up going the wrong way, and a staff handed me roughly like actually grabbing my shoulders and pushing me in the right direction (which i did not appreciate, please chill, u just didnt tell us the right way to go...) and a few members saw that and didnt like either. ayno looked irritated but im sure  hes just irritated at everything at that point lol, lou and ace looked at me sympathetically, and i gave ace the happy bday present someone asked me to give to him. he was so surprised it was adorable.

OKAY, NOW FOR THE SNAPSHOTS: so i actually had 7 snapshots but ended up getting 2 with jacob and 2 with ayno instead of one with everyone (which.. if u look above is not a surprise lmfao) so the first snapshot i do is with baron, obviously.. and this ASSHOLE wants to kill me like... for everyone i tried to pick poses that werent too touchy bc a) im not comfortable w that and b) im sure they were all tired of being touched lol so i picked the one where you make fingerhearts while standing next to each other, but NOOOOO

baron decides he doesnt like that pose enough so he literally puts his hands on my shoulders, guides me to a position thats not only in FRONT of him but CLOSER TO HIM than i was originally!!! what the fuck!! thats not all after that he had to lean around me and basically like... he was so fucking close to me oh my god. he smelled so good i need to know where he gets his cologne. also lol when he moved me in front of him i was like... omg are u sure??? im kinda tall.. and he just laughs and smiles and leans into/around me. that picture of me looks so stupid bc i was so.. happy and Not Ready lmao

anyways i go to jacob next and do the e-t touch pose lol since like i said... didnt want touchy ones and he seemed amused that i picked that one. i wonder if it was one of the least popular ones? probably.. and GOD hes rly such a gentleman hottie like i rarely say h*t but.... jacob was hot. since we did the e.t touch pose we had to touch fingertips and (eyes emoji) not to have a hand kink or anything but hes got. really nice hands. long fingers. also lmfao he had long ass fingernails and i kinda joked with him like “youve got longer fingernails than i do!!” and he laughed and smiled at me. and okay i turn to leave like gotta have the next person go but APPARENTLY he wasnt ready for the next person yet...  i literally had to have the staff be like wait! jacob is saying bye to you!!! and i was like WHAT and turned around and ran back to him basically to say bye he was grinning the entire time and he waved his hand and held it up for (i thought) a high five but he grabbed it and i swear i fell for him right there. JACOB WHEN WILL U BE MINE godfjkdgd and i watched him for a little bit but he didnt say bye that enthusiatically to anyone else (that i saw, at least)

then i did the prom pose with st. van, it was adorable. you could tell he was rly trying to interact with everyone and idk what it is about him but i felt comfortable enough to actually do a Touchy pose (the holding arm pose, like prom yknow). we love an amazing leader~

oH i did one with ziu too!! i did the byung byung pose with the hands together and we both looked ridiculous lol. i dont remember much about him except he was so tall wtf taller than i expected.

at this time i keep looking at my pics and THE E.T PIC WITH JACOB??? makes me crack the hell up.... it had to have been fate, obviously. in the pic (from the camera flash, i guess) where our fingers were touching, it just SO HAPPENED THAT THERE WAS A FLASH OF LIGHT......... iconic. jacob n i are meant to be. so i get in line for him again bc i want to show him the pic, but by the time i got up there again i had forgotten. i was also like... ready for a touchy pose with him bc why not. i cant remember what pose i did with him or if anything happened, im sure i was in a trance then lmao. pretty sure he recognized me but i cant be sure. 

then i get in line for ayno and i have two snapshot tickets left, and the staff announces theres only a few mins left so i was like SHIT and figured id just do two with ayno bc i didnt wanna waste any. his line was so long and staff had to keep reminding ppl not to hug/touch him and i felt soooo bad. i picked poses that werent too close to him, and even those in the pic he looked like he was trying to not be close to me lol. i feel so bad for him, im sure he got a lot of weird fans that night. i think he recognized me (again) because he smiled genuinely like he was happy i was there. i think he appreciated that i picked poses that didnt require touching -- he probably had a Lott of that. when the second pic was being printed the staff member laughed at something someone said, but i thought she was laughing at my picture bc i take shit pics and i got offended for a second and so did ayno LMAO but then she explained and i said bye to him and he went back into Idol Mask(TM) and i think that was it. 

i also ate at ihop that night, it was great, we didnt get back to our hotel till after 2am, it felt so... young adult-ish to be out so late lmao. i was very proud at how everything turned out, i dont think i wouldve changed a thing

anyway, long story short: im in love with jacob, baron is a disney prince, ayno shot up my bias list (he was like... last lmao) and i appreciate him as a person. those three were the Big Three, but i still loved meeting the other members. 10/10 would recommend vav

#vav #mtxt #vav in chicago #vav meet and live tour #please reply to this i spent so long typing it lol #honestly i cant tell 100% about ayno but.. #idk it might be wishful thinking #but i really thought i saw changes in his aura depending on who talked to him #anyways.. my time of death was ayno eye contact o clock #lmao

[byunrelatable]

ok on the ask game, 5 + 19 !! this is gonna get long bear with me oof. i’ve confessed to two people, one was a boy that i was once close with but he ignored me after we broke up :”) it’s fine he’s an ass anyway. but the second person is my current gf and holy uh this is actually kinda personal so i won’t go too in depth but we can say i did it bc it was too much not to anymore (pt 1/?)

.hi kam!! i love u thanks for the asks and thanks for sharing your story!! im really glad things worked out with you and your gf, sounds like you two have truly been through thick and thin together, you must have a very strong bond. that makes my heart feel very warm, im so happy for you!!

im going to put the rest of your asks, as well as my responses to the questions, under the cut so this doesnt become a super long post. to answer 5 and 19 in short, i will say that my answer to 5. have you ever confessed your feelings to someone? is yes, and its an embarrassing story, it also involves underage drinking so anyone uncomfy with that should not look under the cut!! and my answer to 19. share a positive memory about the last person you texted, i’ll probably keep that answer pretty short but true to my word, everything is going under the cut from here on out. thank you for sharing your story kam

send me two way asks!!

here’s the rest of kam’s asks:

we didn’t date then bc things were complicated (like i said, pERSONAL) and i,,,, did it a second time with her months later,,,,, i wouldn’t have if my friends didn’t push me to do it but they did annnddd we started dating then!! and haaaaa i uh,,,, did it once more at the end of feb this year,,,,,, bc we weren’t together at the time (this is also very personal so i could tell you abt the whole thing privately if you wanted) (pt 2/?)

in short i woke up and she asked me to be her gf again sOo, lol it’s all fun. aaannnddd here we go okay i literally just texted my gf as i write this oof but i think one of the fondest memories i have is both kinda negative but i view it positively? it was around the end of january in 2016 and we had been talking for a month or so. at the time i wasn’t in the best state of mind. (pt ¾)

i don’t remember the conversation word for word, but i have recollection of crying a lot at school waiting for my exam and just realizing how much i cared abt her and her about me and i think that marks the moment we became best friends rlly and damn who would even think to get to where we are now oof not me?? (pt 4/4 i went all out i’m sorryajsndnf)

what a story!!! like i said before, im really glad it all came together in the end, and that you have such a wonderful supportive gf

5. have you ever confessed your feelings to someone? yeah okay. from seventh grade until 11th i had a huge crush on this boy in my class. he was always doing crazy cool exchange programs. in 8th grade he went to school in coasta rica for a year, we e-mailed (lmao) all the time while he was gone. he came back in 9th grade and i was so so excited to see him again. he left again in 10th grade, and that was a hard year for me. my dad and step mom (who practically raised me) were getting divorced and i was going through some weird shit with an older guy (gross. he’s gross and predatory and i didnt know better cause i was like 15/16). so i started drinking and sneaking out and partying. 

the kid i had a crush on came back in 11th grade and i was ecstatic. we picked up our friendship where we left it off. but here’s the kicker: he was (and probably still is? but probably isnt as much of a hardass about it) a devout christian, and drinking was NOT in line with his values. he had heard from his mom that i had been doing stuff like that, and he brought it up and said he was concerned. i told him i’d stop, because i was young and i had had a crush on this kid for over four years at this point, and our mutual friend kept dropping hints that he was interested, and.. sigh. so i told him i’d cut the partying and he said he had to see it. fast forward to spring, i applied and got into a program which sends students to japan for two weeks, and this kid also got in, and i was STOKED to be in japan with him for two weeks. the first week it was fun. our last night in tokyo, i wanted to spend some time alone with him, and the rest of our friends were planning to buy some sake (we were literally 16 but they did it, they didnt get carded) and drink it at the hotel, and they wanted me to distract him cause they were worried he’d rat them out, and i was so down to try that because i wanted to spend time with him anyways. so i asked if he wanted to go on an adventure–just go get on a random subway line and see where it leads. he kinda blew me off, which stung. then in an effort to get him to hang out with me, i told him what the other kids were planning (they had specifically told me not to tell him). i told him, and said “so i really think we should just go somewhere else so we dont have to be around that.” he didnt listen to me, instead he followed the rest of the group into the convenience store and they were like uhhh, then he went up to my friend hannah and was like “so you’re buying sake huh?” and she looked at me like what the fuck arianna and i looked at her like im sorry i couldnt get him to come with me and he was like whatever and then he left the convenience store and our other friend jay went with him. i assumed they went back to the hotel. so i went back as well but they werent there. when i asked someone else where they were, they said “oh, they went out into the city on a random subway line just to go on an adventure!” the literal exact thing i had suggested. i was livid. moreso, i was really hurt. so i decided to say fuck it and get drunk, cause i had been abstaining from alcohol ALL YEAR for the sake of this ONE GUY who had really played me and led me on ALL FUCKING YEAR and lowkey for the past FOUR YEARS. so i was like, whatever. so i got drunk. then jay and the guy came back from their adventure. i asked my other drunk companions if i seemed sober (bad, bad idea. they were not good judges) they all said i seemed fine, so i went to give the kid a piece of my mind. get to his room and its just him cause his roommate had been with us in the drinking room. so i say, hey i need to talk to you. the first thing he asks is if i had drank, and i said no, like a liar with a big fat crush. then we sit down on opposite beds, and i told him i was really hurt that he rejected my offer to go on an adventure and immediately did the same thing with jay. he gave me a bs excuse like “it was kinda spontaneous” and i was like, thats bullshit. then i poured out my heart, about crushing on him for the last four years, about being a good friend when he dated hannahkate in seventh grade, about always waiting for him to come back, about working so hard to stop drinking just to be the person he wanted me to be. and i told him i loved him.

his response? “thank you for telling me.” and it shattered my heart.

when he walked me to the door of his room, he said “by the way. you were slurring the whole time, and your breath smells like alcohol. i knew you had drank from the start.” needless to say, THAT was embarrassing.

i go back to the room, drink more, eventually everyone leaves and its me and hannah. i tell her what happened, freak out a bit, cry.

the next day we woke up kinda early and went to this man-made island place i dont remember the name of, and we spent the day there. i was really quiet and reserved all day (not like me, then or now). i did not eat. when we got back to the hotel that night, hannah gave me a melon bread, and i said i wasnt hungry. she said “you havent eaten all day. if you dont eat this right now, im going to take your phone, delete [kid’s name] from all your contacts, delete every picture or video you have on your phone, erase him from your life. do you want that?” to which i said, no. and i ate the bread. it was tough love and i needed it. i was a little better the next day.

a few days later in kyoto the kid and i talked on a rooftop at sunset. i felt a little better after that. it was hard going through all of that, after four years of pining for him, but.. it was good. it was closure. i laid my cards on the table, i finally told him how i felt, and he rejected me. and it hurt, but there was nothing left to say, and it finally closed that door that had been slightly ajar for four years. and i was able to move on after that, fairly quickly actually. jumping back into partying cause i didnt have someone to impress kind of helped. well, it also kind of spun my life off in a horrible direction that led to a horrible depressing senior year of high school, but thats another story.

yeesh, that was long. on to the next one!!

19. share a positive memory about the last person you texted the most recent person i texted is my friend named nico. the first memory that comes to mind is last summer, we used to hang out a lot, one night we went to this 24 hour diner called beth’s cafe that we both love. we went at like 4 am and it was so so so fun. afterwards we watched emperors new groove in his bed and then passed out. i love nico so much. we used to be a lot closer in the summer, but at the end of summer i fucked up and we had a falling out. we still are friends and we still talk (i.e. we texted today planning to hang out this week) but.. its not the same. and i really miss the way things were before. golly isnt that bittersweet. now im a lil sad. but thats okay

thank you to anyone who read all that garbage uidsgfihjs

#asks #lovely mutuals #GOSH my confession story is LOOONG

[fatalefcmme]

                  money makes me romantic.

ELIZABETH ZABINI is A DEATH EATER SUPPORTER in the war, even though HER official job is as A POTIONEER. the TWENTY year old PUREBLOOD is known to be AMBITIOUS and CHARMING but also CUTTHROAT and DECEITFUL. some might label them as THE FEMME FATALE.

trigger warnings: spousal abuse, child abuse, alcoholism, murder (also mentioned in every bullet point!)

youth !

elizabeth is born ready for a life of nannies, of pampering and being spoiled and getting everything she wants. for the first few years of her life, that’s exactly how it goes, too. her father’s a successful businessman, having connections all over the world, his business bringing in the money the zabini’s depend on, breathe on, sleep on. her first four years are spent on silk sheets and expensive clothes, in a massive penthouse apartment overseeing swansea.

it all falls to pieces when her father’s debts catch up on him and he goes bankrupt. there’s no money left. it’s a surprise to her mother, who thought business was booming and that there was nothing to worry about, but they have to move out either way, swap their massive place for a tiny flat that just fits three people. elizabeth is four years old and doesn’t understand what is going on.

[ spousal abuse tw, alcoholism tw, child abuse tw her father starts drinking. a lot. he goes job hunting every day, at least, that’s what he says, and comes home smelling of booze and stumbling every evening. at one point, he starts drinking at home, too, having lost any sense of pride. the zabinis have been knocked from their pedestal, so there’s no room to pretend at home. when he starts drinking at home, the fights between him and elizabeth’s mother increase. her mother screams and her father sits still until he’s done listening and ends the fight with a smack against a cheek or something more. his anger turns to her at times, too, but not as much as it does to her mother, but it does, and that’s enough for her hate to start growing. end of tw ]

they are kicked out of their house for the first time when she’s ten. they couldn’t make rent for the second month in a row and their landlord is done. her parents play the blaming game and elizabeth cries in the dry sheets at the motel they stay in now. they itch and are cold and she just wants a place to call home. 

hogwarts is an escape, a place for elizabeth to leave behind the endless fights and the new shitty flat and to focus on something else than keeping quiet and not becoming too bored. she’s sorted in slytherin, like her mum was ( her dad went to school in italy, never even saw inside hogwarts, and perhaps that made the place even better ) and flourishes. socially, academically: suddenly elizabeth grows into something more than what she was before, learns how to use her disadvantages as advantages.

she mixes with the pureblood crowd like she should have done years ago, tells lies as to why she wasn’t at many events ( things like my dad travels a lot so we were never in the uk much, to be honest ) and reconciles with people she went on playdates with before everything turned to shit. she gets into the slug club, grows ambitious when she finds out she has skills, proper skills, in potions.

her ambition becomes a drive, becomes a plan: she signs up for summer internships, for ways out of the live she has been living so far. she talks to slughorn ( who likes her, even if her dad’s a failure ) and searches for opportunities, chances, anything to become successful, to do what a zabini is supposed to do.

later life! (imma timeline this bc its a Thing)

june 1977: once graduated, she starts working to earn the title of potioneer, staying in contact with slughorn and meeting members of the Most Extraordinary Society of Potioneers, making connections and impressions. she’s nineteen  (november 1978) when she gains the title. she’s young, but not the youngest, and she’s reveling in it. she starts making potions for st mungo’s and the aurors, works freelance, and so for no one but those she wants to work with. she makes her own money, and feels on top of the world.

august 1978: she marries young, too, only a year after graduation. he’s older than she is, but a few years, merely. a family friend from her mothers’ side, who is a respectable surname, who’s respectable and rich and kind, someone who’s a better husband than her father ever was. she doesn’t love him, though, loves his money, and she married him for that only. his money allows her to move out of her parents place, allows her to start living the life she was supposed to be living all these years. she doesn’t love him, but she loves all he gives her, and it gives a sense of power, because he does seem to love her, and so she holds all the cards. 

[ MURDER TW may 1979: it’s after ten months of being married, that dies. a potion -- a poison -- stops his heart, making it seem like a natural death, but he’s too young to die this soon, but no one stops to question it. she’s pregnant, and she does not want him as a father. easy as that. she doesn’t want her child to have a father, doesn’t want him to be the father --- she doesn’t love him, and she won’t let her son grow up with parents who don’t love each other, like she had. she won’t allow that. she holds the cards, and she decides to stop the game and win.

there’s something twisted in elizabeth, like there’s in every zabini, in every rowle: it’s always been there, but the moment she starts toying with the idea of poisoning her husband, it grows. she makes the poison herself and feels the most alive than she ever has, and while she tells herself that she’s doing it for her son, she knows, somewhere, it’s also because she wants power. him dying would leave her a fortune, and she needs it. end of tw ]

15 november 1979: her son is born and she names him blaise and loves him more than she has ever loved anyone else. she promises him a good life, a youth she never had, the youth she should have had. she promises him silk sheets and fortune and love, because she loves him, truly, deeply, loyally.

post blaise’s birth: elizabeth is still making potions, though more for friends and acquaintances (and death eaters), but has put her career on a backburner. she’s found a better way to make money, after all, her dead husband has taught her that. besides that, she’s a single mother, and most of her time is eaten by blaise, blaise, blaise. she has cut ties with her parents at this point, has left her past behind and not looked back, and in stead only focuses on the future. she focuses on pretending to grieve and raising her son and being the face of perseverance for other widows ( because god knows the war makes many ). she wears red silk and red lipstick and cries fake tears and flips her hair and is in search for a new man to marry, to pretend to love, to steal his money from when he dies under strange circumstances.

personality n tidbits !

basically the ‘then perish’ meme tbh. really doesnt care about anyone besides her and her son, when it comes down to it, and lmao. a selfish being.

really sociable and charming. she’s made a name for herself over the past few years, too, is growing more respected in pureblooded circles because of her beauty, of her money, of her position. she’s appearing at balls and spending money on charities and smiling her best smiles and playing the game right.

likes red wine and cider!!! a lot!!

Bitter Bitch at times, but mostly a Determined Bitch and a Beautiful Bitch.

responds to beth too btw!! 

as for purist shiz: she sticks with it as well as the de’s bc it puts her in a position of power and well ... power is everything? gotta love it. gotta have it. if her being a pureblood with a respectable last name puts her higher than others, she’ll gladly accept that. 

Aesthetic Goals

what can i say besides all this?? she loves slow jazz ?? here’s a pinboard.

#maraudrshq:intro #( money power 'n glory. ) #abuse tw #child abuse tw #spousal abuse tw #alcoholism tw #murder tw

[survivor-kuwait]

Episode 11 - “i am the balrog elder gay” - Kait

i am the balrog elder gay 

Losing Chloe BROKE ME. listning to Bye Bye mariah carey and crying!!! this is for the people who just lost somebody... SHOOT. I wanted her to blurt out more of her votes in tribe chats. RIP. a fallen Goddess...

SWEET BABY JESUS I GET A SECOND LIFE IN THIS GAME!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!! OMG I LOVE THE LAGOON RN! BUT HOPEFULLY I CAN MAKE IT TO THE POINT WHERE I CAN RETURN BECAUSE I HAVE A FEW PEOPLE TO STRIKE BACK AT.

I’m so dumb, completely missed the voting deadline, in my defense i was teaching, but still. Never again, its merge (maybe) and im not gonna jeopardise my game like that.

I'm glad we merged but two people are returning to the game? This has been the most cracked game I have ever played.

Renee and Chips have a chance to return. Between the both I hope Renee comes back. She was an ally for me and most probably work together again.

Go rennee!

---

boo chips

MERGEMERGEMERGEMERGE!!!! glad my zodiac sign is known for being loyal cause I sure ain’t. 

This challenge is always weird but i think if people tell me the truth i may have cancelled out some of my stuff im getting. M&M&M are good standings hopefully. I also trust kait thomas and timmy. Hopefully i can make itndeep in the game.

---

This challenge was a total meh i guess this works. Hopefully i win immunity. If not hopefully im not a target. My relationship with Madison may be rocky right now cuz i blindsided her tribe friend in another game. So im kinda nervous. Hopefully she doesnt pass it her vengence here and tries to take me out.  Im slightly worried a but for this tc.

This merge is a little different from my norm game, I usually have 2-4 alliance chats going but I don't have a single one so far this game.  All my deals have been side deals so far, I do not know if that is a good or bad thing as of this moment in time.  Corey did fill me in that there was an alliance being formed that included him, at least it's indicative of him wanting "The Bull and the Lion" to continue to work. I am also way to mentally drained to give a damn, I just needed to make a confessional to not strike. I worked for 14 hours today but I made 325 dollars and now only owe 4k on my student loans.  Thassss a win in my book even if I get voted out, I'm just gonna drink some beer, hold Jenifer and go to bed.  Good night Moon.

THANK GOD I WON IMMUNITY. You have no idea how good it feels to not have to stress out too much this round. Considering there are 14 of us, really anything could happen, but it's great to know that I will make it through at least one more round. The only key here is just making sure that I stay on the right side of the numbers. The line will most likely be drawn in the sand, so it's important that I stay on the right side of it. So far, I think the people that trust me the most are Ian, Corey, and Matt. I talk to them the most out of everyone, and I do trust them all to an extent, Corey and Ian the most. I would love to find a way to get all three of them on the same page, but I know that will be a heard feat. Next in line would probably be Maynor, Madison, and Kait. I talk to these three a good amount, but for some reason I am having a hard time putting my full faith into them. I talk to Owen a good amount too, but he is a MAJOR threat, and someone that I do not want to be in the game for too much longer if I'm going to have a chance to win. For this round, in an ideal world, Thomas would go home. But that seems too easy. I am hoping someone starts throwing names around, but if not, I guess it will have to be me.

WHY DOES MATT HATE ME SO MUCH?!?!  I genuinely wanted to work with him after first impressions, I bet he was the one who voted Taurus now.  My idol now has a name attached to it, so thanks for that Matt.  In a way, I guess you did end up working with me in some fashion.  Ideally this round goes down with a clear majority on Stephan and Corey can get his save a vote activated and I play the slow burn on good ole Matteo, I wanted to butt heads with Owen at merge, but Owen has been a delight while Matteo has been nothing but a thorn in my side.  

Phew child this merge! 14 people is so so so many and I did in fact vote out Adrian and Chloe, both people who I’ve worked with. I’m left in a really interesting spot because of the warzones it’s still hard to see who has a pattern of voting together. I feel that I’ve positioned myself to be in a lot of threesomes, and hopefully nobody really catches on to that? I know Kait is my number one currently and I have trust with Madison and Devon and Corey. But I’m also fully aware that everyone is a huge threat, and I have to downplay myself as one as well. Hopefully a stepehen vote will provide me with good positioning, as we’re removing someone I personally can’t reallt work with, and lessening the numbers. I also wanna really work with chips but I’m sure everyone was chomping at that bit! Who doesn’t want a bite of chips!

I wish I could put an image in this form bc the joke I’m about to make is so funny Anyways lol I told Kait about the idol I felt like I had to or else I’d break her trust if I ever used it. But THEN LOL SHE TOLD ME THAT matt also has one LMAO THAY HE NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT!!!! So that meme I linked above is literally me and matt with our idols Here’s my prob tho I like l.... I have to tell matt bc he knows I guess the coordinate. So I guess that’s a thing that’ll happen

Finally have an alliance chat with Kait and Owen...it’s been so many rounds in the making tbh, it just needed to actually be made. I feel safer having that as well as us going to make one with Matt and Maynor as well, making sure that Matt is okay with it...Maynor already seems to be on board. The only name that’s been going around is Stephen so that kind of sucks because I wanted to work with him, but he isn’t around enough to try and rock the boat for in this game unfortunately. 

I found a hidden immunity idol which is awesome! Also, everyone has been silent this round after we decided on Stephen so that’s a bit suspicious 

This is a really hard round because I really like everyone. If any good came from it, it's that I solidified myself into a strong alliance that should be able to keep me safe for at least a few rounds. Corey did not seem to bite on my idea to vote out Owen. Matt says he is most threatened by Ian and Timmy. And everyone just seems to want to vote Stephen. I think this round will be pretty easy, but from this point on it just gets harder. I assume that Chips is in a bad spot and most likely will go next. But at final 12, it's going to be a doozy to see who can stay on top of the vote.

So thisrounf there is an alliance of 6 however I have 0 faith in Thomas. He is a wild card and will be hard to judge and work with. No idea what’s going to happen tonight. 

Aight a lot happening this merge!!! Fourteen people we losin our minds. First of all let me say half these ppl were kinda boring to talk to but I’m liking it a little better today. I came in wanting Stephen GONE because I lied to him during the taylor vote and we haven’t clicked since and I promised I would get out whoever lied to me in this food challenge and his bitch ass didn’t submit so I didn’t get my perfect ZERO!!!! So I was all ready to press him but suddenly Devon had already thrown out his name! Easy as pie. I rlly trust Kait and her and corey get along. I was branching out to some others too like madison is bae, Devon is fun, I like talking to Ian. My FAVORITE is Maynor I rlly like him but I’m scared matt has a hold on him. Anyways I helped set up some alliances today that I hope are solid. One is me Kait madison corey and then they wanted to add Devon and tommy which is cool. Still kinda pressed at Thomas because yesterday I said ily to him and he replied with lol but other than that it’s a good group. But then suddenly Timmy wanted something with Kait and I so I took that as an opportunity to solidify something with Maynor! Precious angel. Kait and I are worried because the tension between corey and matt lmao which is honestly kinda stupid. Matt was sus about corey after he spearheaded the renee vote which like I understand. And I stirrred the pot a little because I told corey that matt was after him lmao. But for now I’m rlly working hard to keep them from targeting each other and so is Kait. Idk how long that can last tho. Ummmm trace’s THOT HOE ASS told corey he wanted me out?!!! So he gotta GO! And Kait and matt think Ian is dangerous which I’m like ok maybe..., sure. Ummm Cullan is just mind boggling. He ate tater tots for breakfast who does that. But he’s sweet I guess. Id prefer him and Ian and trace gone soon but corey likes all those people oop. I rlly think Kait wants to stick with going to the end with me and matt which like.... I rlly will keep allegiance to Kait but matt? Idk. He kept his idol secret from me and it’s clear he doesn’t trust me as much which is fine, I wasbsure Stephen would target me tonight but apparently now he’s going for Thomas. Hopefully it’s an easy vote and Stephen goes and I get what I want and next round I’ll figure out what to do when it gets harder

Well. Tonight the vote is Stephen. Well, for the majority of us. For little young me, I will be voting for nobody! We acquiring a save vote. Hopefully, at our next tribal, Timmy leaves! Woo! I am in 2 alliances: Mighty Happy Meal (Owen, Kait, Madison, Devon, Thomas) and Queer Eye-ish (Madison, Matt, Trace). Period... I am loyal to my own people. Madison, Owen, Ian, Devon. Kait too, to an extent. The rest need to go at their time. I do what I can. Matt is a priority for me to get rid of. Unless Timmy wants Matt gone, I want him gone too for next time. x

Ep 11: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-fEEBtT8R4hk_587qknbxwLmB8yhN_lt/view?usp=drivesdk

This is my placeholder confession for until I am at a computer and able to type something out. I got back in the game!

alyssa said put ep 11: just a quick recap bc i have to play this silly flash game now before i pass out - corey and matt allegedly not liking each other is still a problem - owen found an idol - i told owen matt has an idol bc i have a big mouth - corey told owen all this shit about the vote and idk just other game sensitive stuff and not me and - there's an aliens of trace, matt, madison, and corey that trace allegedly made. this is a big question mark bc either it's just really random and people that trace wants to work with despite what they said or this beef??? between matt and corey is fake which i wouldn't be too surprised by - corey told all of this to owen before tribal but told him that he was going to wait until after tribal to tell me like.... i don't appreciate that. - i think that kind of solidifies that if/when corey v matt happens and i have to pick a side i wanna go with my matt. - im sure i will think of more tomorrow oh also i want ian to get deleted from skype thx

EP 11 Confessional: I got an idol this round which is cool. I heard the vote was stephen however it’s been kinda quiet. Not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. 

Aight a lot happening this merge!!! Fourteen people we losin our minds. First of all let me say half these ppl were kinda boring to talk to but I’m liking it a little better today. I came in wanting Stephen GONE because I lied to him during the taylor vote and we haven’t clicked since and I promised I would get out whoever lied to me in this food challenge and his bitch ass didn’t submit so I didn’t get my perfect ZERO!!!! So I was all ready to press him but suddenly Devon had already thrown out his name! Easy as pie. I rlly trust Kait and her and corey get along. I was branching out to some others too like madison is bae, Devon is fun, I like talking to Ian. My FAVORITE is Maynor I rlly like him but I’m scared matt has a hold on him. Anyways I helped set up some alliances today that I hope are solid. One is me Kait madison corey and then they wanted to add Devon and tommy which is cool. Still kinda pressed at Thomas because yesterday I said ily to him and he replied with lol but other than that it’s a good group. But then suddenly Timmy wanted something with Kait and I so I took that as an opportunity to solidify something with Maynor! Precious angel. Kait and I are worried because the tension between corey and matt lmao which is honestly kinda stupid. Matt was sus about corey after he spearheaded the renee vote which like I understand. And I stirrred the pot a little because I told corey that matt was after him lmao. But for now I’m rlly working hard to keep them from targeting each other and so is Kait. Idk how long that can last tho. Ummmm trace’s THOT HOE ASS told corey he wanted me out?!!! So he gotta GO! And Kait and matt think Ian is dangerous which I’m like ok maybe..., sure. Ummm Cullan is just mind boggling. He ate tater tots for breakfast who does that. But he’s sweet I guess. Id prefer him and Ian and trace gone soon but corey likes all those people oop. I rlly think Kait wants to stick with going to the end with me and matt which like.... I rlly will keep allegiance to Kait but matt? Idk. He kept his idol secret from me and it’s clear he doesn’t trust me as much which is fine, I wasbsure Stephen would target me tonight but apparently now he’s going for Thomas. Hopefully it’s an easy vote and Stephen goes and I get what I want and next round I’ll figure out what to do when it gets harder

#survivorstarzone #episodes

[lunarmoonacnh]

i was tagged by the amazing @unhugme

Rules: Once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose 25 people to tag!

THE LAST… 1. Drink: diet coke

2. Phone call: my mum

3. Text message: my best friend telling him goodnight 

4. Song you listened to: Michael Jackson - Pretty Young Thing bc it was on the radio 

5. Time you cried: like last night or the night before coz it was 2am and life

HAVE YOU EVER… 6. Dated someone twice: ive barely even dated someone once lmao

7. Been cheated on: yup...

8. Kissed someone and regretted it: no i dont think so

9. Lost someone special: yes, my great grandpa

10. Been depressed: yes, im currently seeing a therapist 

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: yes! every time i drink unless its wine, for some reason wine doesnt make me sick. i think its because i once totally over did it on spirits and cider so not they just taste like the time i almost died and my body cant take it

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS:

12. grey

13. mint green

14. blush pink

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… 15. Made new friends: yes, i started college so i made new irl friends because of that and i have also mad new internet friends through this blog 

16. Fallen out of love: kinda, depends how you look at it. i didnt know i had fallen out of love until the relationship had ended and i didnt feel as sad as i thought i would

17. Laughed until you cried: always, when i’m with my friends all i do is cry laugh 

18. Found out someone was talking about you: yes, it happens a lot, sometimes negative and sometimes positive 

19. Met someone who changed you: yes, for good and bad. 

20. Found out who your true friends are: yes, once i left school i knew who my real friends are because they are the ones who kept in touch and the ones who didnt do other things that they knew would hurt me

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: yess

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: most, i dont know them all personally but i know of them all, no strangers for me

23. Do you have any pets: not at my house but we are getting our little puppy Sully in 14 days. i do have a cat and a dog at my dads house but i very rarely go visit 

24. Do you want to change your name: no, i used to want to when i was a kid because i used to get bullied because i had a ‘boys’ name (Billie) but now i like it because its unique  

25. What did you do for your last birthday: met my friends that i met on the internet that are now irl friends for a meal and to go shopping. we went for pizza and bowling and then shopping before they had to leave again:(

26. What time did you wake up: usually between 8am and 9am without an alarm 

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: i think i was actually sleeping for once if not i was watching youtube videos

28. Name something you cannot wait for: to get my puppy and to meet up with and have a party with my internet/irl friends again in summer

29. When was the last time you saw your mother: like 15 minuets ago befroe i came upstairs to do this

30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i wish i could control my anxiety and depression or even not have it at all. i also wish my dad would pay me more attention and want to see me more because i miss him and its almost like he forgets i was his first kind before he mt his new wife

31. What are you listening to right now: the 1975

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i mean i have a cousin name Thomas? but never someone just called Tom without it being shortened 

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: life? no but like the fact that im not allowing myself to do the things i want to do out of pure fear

34. Most visited website: Tumblr of course... it is never off my browser 

35. Elementary: ive honestly never wanted to go back to a time in my life more than i want to go back to elementary/primary school 

36. High School: no thanks to that. i wish i could have been one of the people that called it the best years of their lives not 5 years of asshole bullying me 

37. College/university: im commenting on this as England college (16-18 year olds) and ive just dropped out of one part (sixth from) where i was taking 3 subjects Media studies and Film studies which i loved and will miss and Psychology wich i did love but wont miss because i couldnt do it and it made my anxiety sky rocket. in september i start a makeup course and i am so excieted to be a qualified makeup artist this time next year

38. Hair colour: mousy brown

39. Long or short hair: long, like almost to my butt long (yes its natural)

40. Do you have a crush on someone: yes, but i could never pursue it bc he is my friend and i wouldnt want to ruin that. ive made that mistake with my ex.

41. What do you like about yourself: my eyes. they are grey and kinda ombre like they hae a really dark ring on the outside and they get lighter closer to my pupil

42. Piercings: yes, my first and second lobes on both ears, my helix and forward helix on my left ear. half way up my ear and my rook on my right ear and then my nose 

43. Blood type: i have no idea, do people actually know this?

44. Nickname: Bil and B although i dont like B (pronounced like Bee) but its what my cousins have called my since i was really small so it doesnt bother me that much with them 

45. Relationship status: extremely single

46. Zodiac sign: Aquarius 

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favourite TV show: pretty little liars, it has just finished and now i am re watching it to find clues about A that i missed 

49. Tattoos: no, but i have a couple planned 

50. Right or left hand: right

FIRST… 51. Surgery: teeth removed they are the only ops ive ever had and will ever have to have touch wood

52. Piercing: ears

54. Sport: i danced as a majorette does that count?

55. Vacation: i honestly have no idea, i think i went to Devon though (its a place in the UK) all i know is my first holiday was during 9/11 

56. Pair of trainers: probably like Nike Airs or something Adidas i have no idea 

57. Eating: i actually know this bc my older cousin fed me a wham bar (a british, i think, chewy candy thing) when i was 3 week old, so i could have died the ifrst time i hate lmao

58. Drinking: i was 14, i know i shouldnt have been drinking because my mum made me promise her i wouldnt, but i remember being so drunk (idk if it was real or faked tbh) on alcopop thats right 4% alcohol and i probs had like 3 

59. I’m about to: go get my cousins baby off his Nan so she can get his older brother from nursery

60. Listening to: idk if this is like asking the same as earlier? coz if so t]still the 1975

61. Waiting for: my friend to reply to me an tell me when he is taking me for coffee 

62. Want: my dog

63. Get married: probs idk

64. Career: i dont have one rn but hopefully a makeup artist

YOUR TYPE… 65. Hugs or kisses: rn hugs i need to hug someone while i fall to sleep so bad its been so long 

66. Lips or eyes: eyes

67. Shorter or taller: taller bc im also tall so i need someone taller than me (i dont need but i like a partner to be tall)

68. Older or younger: older, people y age are immature so any younger and i may as well spend my time with a 10 year old

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: i dont mind tbh

71. Sensitive or loud: both? not too loud though ya girl has sensitive ears 

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship, im demisexual (it took me 17 years to figure that out) so hook ups aren’t my thing

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: it depends because i tend to be the cause of arguments and things because im honest but im not out there to cause trouble i just dont like to lie

HAVE YOU EVER… 74. Kissed a stranger?: no

75. Drank hard liquor?: yes, dont do it, its bad kids

76. Lost glasses contact/lenses: yes, i lose my glasses all the goddamn time

77. Turned someone down: yes, i always feel bad but you cant force feelings

78. Sex on first date: nope

79. Broken someone’s heart: not that i know of, i doubt it though

80. Had your heart broken: yes, again not fun

81. Been arrested: nooo

82. Cried when someone died: yes

83. Fallen for a friend: yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… 84. Yourself: not always

85. Miracles: yes, the baby i spoke about earlier? yeah hes my miracle, he was born with a new strain of meningitis, he has had 3 lots of brain surgery (at a week old) and the doctors said it was a very low chance he would survive. he did 3 times. his heart also stopped 3 times, again he is here. he also had multiple surgeries on his joints, we got told he wouldnt walk but here he is at 16 months running around like a crazy person and loving life with his older brother  

86. Love at first sight: i mean no, how can you fall in love with someone based off their face (no matter how many cute people you see on the street that you think you love, you probably dont)

87. Santa Claus: hes real in my house

88. Kiss on the first date: ive never been on a proper date so

89. Angels: yeah, i really love t believe in thse things because its cute

OTHER… 90. Current best friend’s name: im not saying their name coz idk if thats a good idea tbh

91. Eye colour: greyyy

92. Favourite movie: Tim Burtons Alice in Wonderland i just love his aesthetic and the story of Alice so put them together and you have a winner

ok i dont have 25 people to tag but i do tag @theflowerkingdom @kinkylildanny @creepyphantasia @imjustacanforallthephantrash and @dead-nightingale 

if you are reading this and you want to do it, go for it and just say i tagged you!

#danielhowellsbooty

[hoetron]

okay christ i got tagged in htis massive tag game by @mothable but i love a good ol challenge lets do this buckfucks

RULES: ANSWER THESE 88, THEN TAG SOME PEOPLE

BASICS:

a. NAME AND PRONOUNS: Rae, she/her

b. AGE (and birthday!): 13, Aug 28th :3c im a fucking fetus ny’all

c. SEXUALITY: am i bi? am i lesbian? am i just craving existential death 24/7? i dont fucking know a thing my guy

d. GENDER: cis female hooooh

e. COUNTRY: AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE OI OI OI

f. FAVORITE AESTHETIC: pastel colours and really nice fashion i guess..??? (also smoking is kind of aesthetic eyes emoji eyes emoji)

TRIGGERS/MENTAL ILLNESSES: i’m not actually sure :x

THE LAST:

1. DRINK: salt water hah normal water is for the WEAK (dont drink salt water please im begging y

2. PHONE CALL: my brother asking what kind of pizza i wanted

3. TEXT MESSAGE: “:3c” im such a fufcking furry...fuckck,,,,

4. SONG YOU LISTENED TO: Daydream warriors by Aquors listen nyall im reconnecting with my hidden buried weebass side of me okay im crying

5. THE TIME YOU CRIED: i dont actually remember? probably like last year unless you count me having tears from laughing too hard as cryng then thats yesterday during the meme aka now called lightning mcqueen server

HAVE YOU:

6. DATED SOMEONE TWICE: nahh

7. KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT: dont think ive ever kissed someone thats not my family before im #Pure

8. BEEN CHEATED ON: nope lmao

9. LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL: my grandfather i guess? but he died when i was really young so at that time i didnt really undersyand the feeling of loss and mourn so ksdjfk but we had some goodass memories together

10. BEEN DEPRESSED: they ask you how you are and you just have to say that you’re fine when you’re not really fine but you just cant get into it because they would never understa

11. GOTTEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: im severely underaged please

TOP 3 FAVORITE COLORS

12. red

13. yellow

14. either black or lavendar,,

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. MADE NEW FRIENDS: yis

16. FALLEN OUT OF LOVE: ya,,

17. LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED: okay im known as the most giggly person in class i laugh so easily that i easily have tears over everything

18. FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU: nahh dont think i wanna know if its like in a bad way :x

19. MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU: aw y e s

20. FOUND OUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE: ya :,) (Thanks em, lily, mae and imogen for making this year truly greater than last year and for being the best friends i could ever ask for)

21. KISSED SOMEONE ON YOUR FACEBOOK LIST: facebook is dead to me

GENERAL

22. HOW MANY OF YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE: serious facebook is dead to me i roasted above the flames of negligence (also because i have like two facebook accounts one using my pesonal email and the other using my more general email , the one using my more general email keeps recommending to me my OWN personal account and its personally so hilarious)

23. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: a cat called lucky! (i love him even though im p sure he hates me)

24. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME: i guess my irl name uhhh im 50-50 with it? but granted on the internet i waaay prefer using the name Rae over my irl one because its short and simple and nice-

25. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOU LAST BIRTHDAY: just want to a chinese resturant with my fam and my uncle because we’re simple that way and like. back then i didnt had that much friends so uh l m a o (but vidhi gave me a nerf gun so that was Really Cool and i love her)

26. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP TODAY: 9 oclocK BECAUSE A HOUSING AGENT WAS COMING OVER (but then i fell back to sleep and woke up at 12 so lmao)

27. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT: watching a video on why ‘anime art isnt technically allowed in art school’ because i was just curious and then drawing 

28. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR: VOLTRON LEGENDARY FUCKNG DEFENDERS SEASON 3 SHIT BABES IM REA LLY FUCKING PREPARED AND NEAR END OF MONTH AVCON BECAUSE EYES EMOJI

29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM: an hour ago lmao shes like just outside my room 

30. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE: sighs my shyness and social anxiety and awkwardness (all three of those are counted in a pack right? the pack of “socially inept” people)

31. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: daydream warriors... by aquors..... (listen im RECONNECTING with my weeb side like said above im actually weeping)

32. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO A PERSON NAMED TOM: uh idk mate

33. SOMETHING THAT IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES: i havent brushed my teeth yet but im lazy to move my legs lmao

LOST QUESTIONS

34. MOLE(S): um quite a lot like a few small ones on my arm and like one on my face below my right eye and theres one underneath my boob i think lmao tmi and the rest i cant be bothered to find

35. MARK(S): a kind of burnt scar mark on my left shoulder from like 6/7 years ago when i got too close to someone smoking and their cigarette burnt me oh and a scar on my knee from the time i fell off my bike while playing bike catching in the neighbourhood with a couple of other friends like 4 years ago?

36. CHILDHOOD DREAM: vet (now im eh about that tho im probably just going to pursue some art career)

37. HAIR COLOR: brown eyy

38. LONG OR SHORT HAIR: long

39. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: yeah. hopefully its dying down now especially since the person is straight (its hard when she sits next to you in class and you guys are sort of friends now and u somehow feel really satisfied when you make her laugh :,) shit )

40. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: im generally kind with people regardless of whether or not i dont like them or i dont know them well or i know them i guess? (at least in my group of friends im probably the most willing to socialise with others) and uhhhh i guess i can make people laugh? im a huge fucking loser meme nyall

41. PIERCINGS: none and personally dont really want to 

42. BLOODTYPE: shit  i think it was either a B or an O i cant remember (i think its B tho)

43. NICKNAME(S): maggie, migi, bela, bob, bobbo

44. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: single pringle 

45. ZODIAC: virgo

46. PRONOUNS: she/her (lmao yay for repeated question)

47. FAVORITE TV SHOW: fuckngin,,, voltron,,, (probably going to stay my favourite for a long while tho)

48. TATTOOS: none atm (unless you count waterbase tattos then yes stick all the water based tattos on me) but like when im Much Older maybe? just a really small tattoo tho not anything big that covers an entire limb

49. RIGHT OR LEFT HAND: right

50. SURGERY: had a surgery on my foot forgot which side when i was in kindergarten because the skin was *censored for tmi* and yah stitching up your skin fucking hurt babes

51. HAIR DYED A DIFFERENT COLOR: nahhh i dont think id dye my hair tho who knows

52. SPORT: im probably going to retake up basketball again eyes emoji eyes emoji

53. VACATION: ooMMF nothing planned so far

54. PAIR OF TRAINERS: like uhhh what kind of sneakers?? just normal canvas sneakers i guess????? im, what.

MORE GENERAL

55. EATING: OXYGEn

56. DRINKING: IN OXYGEN

57. I’M ABOUT TO: complete this fucking 88  questions then chat on discord and scroll tumblr and tell myself “hey finish up your art!” but then 5 hours later im still scrolling tumblr. oh and im watching wonder woman later so :3c

58. WAITING FOR: nothing atm i guess?

59. WANT: my family’s financial situation to be solved and so that money isnt going to be a huge bother anymore...

60. GET MARRIED: sounds nice but probably only marriage idk the idea of kids doesnt really sound v appealing atm

61. CAREER: artist! (i wanna either work in a game development team or an animation studio eyes emoji ) 

62. HUGS OR KISSES: HUGS

63. LIPS OR EYES: lips erally nice to draw really nice to look at

64. SHORTER OR TALLER: buhhh im short so i guess taller would be nice (tall people have such nice legs too im frankly a little jealous)

65. OLDER OR YOUNGER: what is this in regards to

66. NICE ARMS OR NICE STOMACH: arms so that dO YOU SEE THESE GUNS

67. SENSITIVE OR LOUD: shrug emoji idk man

68. HOOK UP OR RELATIONSHIP: relationship

69. TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT: troublemaker pardnyars in crime amirite

HAVE YOUR EVER:

70. KISSED A STRANGER: no

71. DRANK HARD LIQUOR: nope 

72. LOST GLASSES/CONTACT LENSES: yeah p sure i had to go through a whole day of school half blind once without my glasses

73. TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: nah..

74. SEX ON THE FIRST DATE: nO IM 1 3 

75. BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART: dont think so?

76. HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN: nah babes

77. BEEN ARRESTED: nah

78. CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: somehow when someone dies i decide to laugh instead of breaking down in tears i guess laugh away the pain?

79. FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: ...shit its a bad idea babes dont do it

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

80. YOURSELF: shrug emoji

81. MIRACLES: sometimes? sometimes no?

82. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: even bigger shrug emoji

83. SANTA CLAUS: nah lmao listen i caught my father and mother wheeling in bicycles for my sister and i when i was like what 8? usually i just played along because hey i was a child

84. KISS ON THE FIRST DATE: ehh depends i guess

85. ANGELS: not really lmao

OTHER

86. CURRENT BEST FRIENDS NAME(S): Emily, Mae Shuen and Lily

87. EYECOLOR: dark brown?

88. FAVORITE MOVIE: this changes all the time

only tagging uhhh @pluminkdot (KASJD I FORGOT IF YOU HAD A MAIN REBLOG ACC IM SORRY RACH), @jaspereffect , @blabrabs / @spaceboomerang (it isnt letting me tag ur main boomers skldfjksd) and uh im too lazy for the rest

#raedy to talk shit #mattie #mothable #w e eps #this took fucking forever babes #LONG POST

[therewas-a-girl]

so - i got this amazing ask some days ago, and then like an idiot, accidentally deleted it. thankfully for me, outlook saved the copy from the notifications, so here it is

How do you see the Laurel/Oliver relationship? Otp? Notp? Brotp? More than friends, less than lovers? I always thought that their relationship was somehow complicated. Did you think that 5x08 showed that Laurel was really the love of Oliver's life, not Felicity? I love both ladies, but I kinda see Olicity as Otp and Lauriver as, actually I'm not sure what I see them as. They love each other, not romantically, but they're not exactly friends?

anon im so sorry for my carelessness, and for the late reply - free time is scarce for me these days. 

i wouldn’t say complicated - though they sure are! - it’s just that that is not the very first word i would pick for them. laurel and oliver’s story is just really long lol. it spans something around two decades, it has changed so much - just as they have, as people naturally do - so of course, it’s going to be complicated. it’s a really layered relationship - that’s the word i like for them. maybe it should be analysed by ‘historical period’ the way i study political systems in different countries lmao.

they’re not otp for me (though they’re not a notp either), because the way canon built their relationship, the dynamics of it and the dynamics between them, has some really ‘nope’ moments. i dont ship characters where one treats the other like shit. (i dont ship ships where the story treats one character like shit for the sake of another, either)

I do think that through the course of 4 years they finally made it to ‘friends’ status, yeah. in season 4 i really thought their friendship was cemented, because in season 2-3 they felt more like... acquaintances with a dangerous history. they had too much conflict between them to really earn a friend status to each other. (not to mention the way oliver failed time and time again to be what a friend should have been to laurel. and vice versa, ofc. tho i dont think in laurel’s case it’s as flagrant as oliver, but at this point im basing my opinion on general impressions cause i haven’t seen s3 in a while.) but, despite that, many times they protected each other, and supported each other throughout the show, even when they didn't seem to like each other much. 

in season 1, their relationship felt kind of muddy, to me because there is so much going on there. i mean these two used to be childhood friends at some point. then they got together and i think... i kid of think they weren’t friends anymore. i think oliver didn’t see it that way anyway. laurel was in the girlfriend category. and laurel was really young and, i believe, really idealistic, trying to fit into all these ideas that she believes a girl is, and a girlfriend is, and what love means. it’s everywhere in film and our culture that ‘complicated love’ is great and romantic when in most cases it just bad for your health. but we’re not trained to think of it that way. and that may be easy to see when you’re 26 y.o. but it wasn't when i was 17, and i imagine it wasn't for laurel either. i imagine she thought that hear-breaking and intense and painful is the way love is supposed to fee. all movies say so. 

[in parenthesis here, i don’t think oliver cheated on her as much as fandom likes to think he did. there are other ways to make sense of their relationship than to pretend laurel was an idiot or spineless or a ‘stupid girl’. 

he either got with other people when they were in their ‘off’ periods, which we know they had, because everyone says they were the kind of couple that was on-again off-again. or he cheated and she did not know about it. i tend to think it’s the first, from the interaction in the flashbacks between sara and laurel - when sara says ‘we both know at leas 10 girls he’s slept with.’ *slept with* , not *cheated on you with*. and i think this is the case also because it fits with my idea of the rest of laurel’s characterization: an idealistic girl who is so enamored with the idea of love, as well as her boyfriend, that she can’t really see the cracks. someone like that wouldn’t forgive cheating so easily, BUT it is entirely within this laurel’s character to believe she can help people change, and take oliver on also as a sort of project. 

(and when i see people sneering at this, and at laurel for having this idea, i remember, absolutely drowning in irony, about how many fanfics there are out there where ‘felicity changes oliver’ and ‘is oliver’s light’ or just the general romanticising of this idea that love is ‘a woman changing a man’ and being responsible for his ‘goodness’. like, it’s everywhere, so criticizing a girl for having this idea, any girl, feels a little hypocritical, because we all have to work to drain this kind of shit from out psyche.)]

and then the gambit happens and their relationship in s1 is just really heavy with the history of 5 years of accumulated emotion on both sides. not all good kind of emotion. laurel was all about “life, interrupted” and ‘what could have been’ and the possibilities of sth that never was. oliver was all about guilt and pursuit of laurel, the person, in order to find in her what had been keeping him alive - laurel, the idea, aka home, aka the end of all the violent fuckery, a time when things were simpler - throughout the five years he was away. s1 is such a mess of regrets, and broken hopes, of ‘you were mine once how dare you see/try to be happy with- other people’ kind of jealousy, on both oliver and laurel’s parts, and fear of attachment on laurel’s part - being afraid of getting with tommy after how she was betrayed the last time she let herself love someone. being left by tommy too, falling back in oliver. 

there is this poem by warsan shire that always makes me think of s1 laurel and her decision to sleep with oliver right after tommy refuses her again at Merlyn Global, after she tells him she loves him: 

when the one i wanted, did not want me.

I was almost rabid for love. Would’ve lunged at anything thrown my way carcass, shadow, memory, promise shell of a man. I thought it was better to be loved by a dead thing than to be left alone. Then I loved a dead thing and was completely alone

at some point in s1, i do think they were tentatively trying to be friends again, but there was a lot of shit that remained unresolved between them and that stuff doesnt just, go away if you ignore it because its awkward af. 

i dont even know if i take that s4 episode and the whole ‘love of my life’ seriously, to be honest with you. it’s not that it contradicts my idea of laurel’s development as a character. i can very well imagine that after seeing who oliver had become , how much he had changed, laurel might very well fallen back in love with him. laurel loves and admires strength and goodness. she falls in love with potential, as much as with the actual people. so no, it’s not impossible to me that she might have, during the course of season 4, fallen in love with oliver. again. if it were not for one detail. 

oliver didn’t tell her about the pit. laurel believes that for all that happened , he STILL does not see her as an equal. and i cannot believe that someone who has gone through the things laurel has gone through, can love someone who sees her as beneath himself. it’s just not realistic to me. her character would require a deep respect of her person, to allow herself even the smallest possibility of opening her heart again. 

5x08... i honestly only have my own idea of what that episode was. i rationalized it like this: oliver has a serious difficulty letting go of guilt. when laurel told him that she’d loved him all the while, that really cemented oliver’s regret after her death. canon hasn’t given us any hints on the fact that oliver might still be in love with her, romantically. but he does love her, she is a friend. she is someone important in his life. and knowing that she is dead , that kind of pain is deepened by the knowledge of how unhappy she must have been. specifically, how unhappy he made her. this combines with the trait oliver has that, whenever he regrets something, whenever he feels he has wronged someone he loves, that guilt pulls really heavily on his judgement. and he has this compulsion to give people what they want, what they might need from him. 

and that’s how i saw oliver’s dream world. a sort of tiny little prison he and the others were trapped in, where to get out they had to face their enemies and fears. and my idea was that, after defeating deathstroke and merlyn, the real test of strength was saying goodbye to an alive and happy laurel, for both sara and oliver. because in that moment of their lives, laurel - alive and happy and getting everything she had ever wanted, according to what oliver and sara thought she’d wanted - was their deepest wish, their latest and freshest regret. (this totally fails to account for  William in oliver’s life, and how that is also a big regret for him. but that’s details) 

so, yeah that’s how i think about it. basically, they’re friends with a fucked up childhood lmao 

#laurel lance #laurel lance thoughts #replies #Anonymous #arrow