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onthebirdroads · 4 years

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The Doctor! (if that's too vague, choose your favourite incarnation)

Wow this turned out really long 😂 enjoy! (And watch out for that rant in the middle)

How I feel about them:

Absolutely love them. As a character they've got so many different facets, across different incarnations and within the same incarnation, and that really makes for some interesting storytelling. They can be so kind and caring, but if you go against them they'll turn on you, and sometimes when put under pressure they'll just completely snap and their internal moral compass will go absolutely haywire (see, for example: the "Time Lord Victorious" mode that 10 gets into in The Waters of Mars). That kinda thing always gives me the shivers and I love it. They're also like.. way more "evil" than they'd care to admit, in some incarnations absolutely happy stand by while someone or something else kills their adversary. Again, makes for some really interesting character stuff

Romantic ships:

None whatsoever. The Doctor is 100% aro in every incarnation, imho.

Non-romantic OTP:

I've been really really enjoying the emotionally devastating relationship between 13 and the Master. It's just.. hooooo boy that's the good shit 🍹🍸. The Doctor needs someone who can challenge them in every way, and the only person who can really do that is the Master. And tbh the Doctor is almost as messed up as their best enemy, they're just less directly destructive and sadistic. And I'm really loving Dhawan!Master's style (not just fashion sense but in everything). I've just been like 😱 😭 this whole time and I love it. (Also holy shit LOOMS ARE BASICALLY CANON NOW YALL! That whole story was emotionally devastating and I loved it.)

I also think 7 and Ace make an interesting pair, although most of that comes from 7 being a manipulative piece of shit to her, so not really an OTP... good stories though 😂

Other than that I mean, I really enjoyed the way Donna dealt with 10, and I'd love to maybe see more of Romana, bringing her down-to-earth logical ways to bear on the Doctor. (I looooove Romana II but she probably won't be returning in the TV show, maybe another incarnation?) It would also be cool to see Brax... I bet he's managed to survive all of the numerous apocalypses that have happened on Gallifrey over the centuries. (Again not really an OTP but ehh, it's my post I do what I want.)

Unpopular opinion:

The Doctor is 100% aro in every incarnation. Yes even 10, yes even 13, Th*smin shipping please fuck off.

(Rant incoming 😂 I could put up with the existence of Th*smin shipping if people would at least fucking tag stuff accurately so I can avoid it. Romance repulsion can be really really painful; I literally could not interact with the fandom at all during 13's first series because the shipping was absolutely overwhelming, and all of it was shipping this character whose aromanticism is really fucking close to my heart and very very important to me. Like, this is pretty much the one single heavily aro-coded almost-canon character in any popular franchises, we're grasping for crumbs here and it kills me. And people tagging random stuff as Th*smin for extra exposure really didn't help, cause it meant so much non-ship content was filtered too. Best case never-gonna-happen-widely scenario for this kind of thing—still marginally more probably than people not shipping them with companions in the first place—would be people actually tagging stuff like romance and kissing, as well as any specific ship tags, so that us romance-repulsed aros can safely and comfortably interact with the rest of the fandom. But I'm not gonna hold my breath. Endrant.)

(Oh lmao I forgot River existed for a hot minute there... that was really nice while it lasted.... tbh I generally pretend the whole of series 6 just didn't happen. But yeah River/Doctor is absolutely off the table too, as is romantic Thoschei.)

One thing I wish would happen/had happened in canon:

Some kind of explicit confirmation that the Doctor is essentially non-binary and aromantic, by human standards, throw in ADHD too and I'd probably hurt myself stimming with excitement and joy.

On the NB side of things, a Doctor who uses they pronouns would be nice; that could be addressed by having the TARDIS like, automatically correct the pronouns people use or something, and them being like "??? The words that I just said aren't the words I actually said???" and then some brief explanation involving the translation circuits.

With ADHD, perhaps a companion who's ADHD themself just being like "obviously you're an alien so it doesn't really work the same but damn you're like how ADHD humans are".

And for aro literally just some offhand comment about how they've never really understood the concept of romance and why humans seem so heavily affected by it and attached to it.

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nanarnin · 6 years

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Okay. So.

I may be coming to terms with the realisation that I may very well be aromantic. Or, i don't know, profoundly afraid of monogamy/intimacy/labels and I'm just misinterpreting my feelings wrong and offending a lot of people with calling my experience aromantic (not my intention but someone who IS aro please tell me if whatever this is fits the general consensus or is entirely wrong PLEASE).

This is going to basically be a word vomitty mess but I need to put this down in writing for me so it's here. Yay. I'm fucking sorry in advance this is a mess so welcome to my state of mind always, I guess.

I have never had a crush. Ever. I've thought people were hot? Yes. Have I had any desire to be in a 'committed relationship' with said hot people? Never. A couple of times I've gotten to know people and then thought that I might like to date them (because that's what people do apparently and so I thought that's what I had to do too) but looking back on it? I just wanted a deeper, more profound friendship. As a teenager I actually made up a crush on someone just so my friends would stop calling me a liar every time I said I had never had a crush.

The thought of never being in a romantic relationship does not scare me. Honestly? That is how I picture my future?? I do not understand why anyone would actively seek out a romantic relationship. It holds absolutely no appeal to me, it honestly never has, I do not want or need a romantic relationship in fact the thought makes me so profoundly uncomfortable I do anything in my power to actively avoid that situation. I'm not kidding when the idea of me personally in a romantic relationship has felt so wrong I've had panic attacks about it. Because, you know, the whole 'getting married is a societal expectation' thing that has been shoved down our (especially girls) throats our entire lives. Long story short IT SCARES THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ME THAT IN THE FUTURE I MIGHT BE IN A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE I DO NOT WANT THAT FOR MYSELF RIGHT NOW AND I DO NOT SEE MYSELF WANTING THAT AND IT FEELS WRONG AND THIS IS NOT SHORT AT ALL FUCKING GOD.

I like casual sex. I like friends with benefits (and none of that tropey, they were in love all along because to be perfectly honest I fucking love my friends and I would happily fuck them on the regular but I do not want our friendship to change into whatever the fuck a romantic relationship is, and I think that means I am not in love with them). I have no problem with multiple partners as long as everyone is consenting and communicative and enjoying of said fact. I find multiple genders attractive i.e I am very comfortably a bisexual women.

IF A 'RELATIONSHIP' WAS DEFINED AS JUST BEING FRIENDS WHO FUCK (BITCH I ALREADY DO THAT ITS CALLED FWB) THEN I THINK I WOULD BE FINE WITH BEING IN A 'RELATIONSHIP' but it's not, it's something else (apparently) and I've never felt that and I literally still do not fully believe that it is a real thing that everybody is experiencing and not just hyping up because it is just so outside the my own reality and sphere of experience. But I've seen my relationshipped friends and I know that whatever it is, it means something fucking real to them so. I guess I'm a believer. Whatever.

I guess my problem is, i cannot comprehend loving someone differently from how I love my friends? And yes I love all of my friends 'differently' and it is expressed in different ways but I'm pretty sure it all falls under the net of 'friendship love'. Which I guess we can call platonic except I do find a number of them attractive and I would/have had sex with some of them so is that still platonic? I think it is? I would never date any of them, in fact I've almost dated some of them and it sucked because I hated every second of THAT.

Okay so maybe I'm afraid of intimacy? Possibly? Except I can be pretty intimate with my friends, to the point where some people call it weird lmao. god. I've been called the Ultimate Third Wheel because I know literally everything about some of my friends relationships/sex lives/personal lives and it's just something a lot of people feel comfortable sharing with me? Maybe my easy nature makes people relax a little too much around me? (Lol they probably can feel that i have no desire to be in a relationship so I'm not gonna slide in there like a little snake hiss hiss so they don't have to get all possessive or whatever). Maybe I just have really open friends I don't fucking know.

So basically intimacy isn't an issue BUT it does take a long time to build up that intimacy/I'm an intovert and really make no effort in making new friends unless they make a bigger effort/I do not open up around new people at all and it sometimes takes years to reach the levels I am at with some people. So maybe it is still a problem but I just overcompensate when I do have intimate friendships by going ham with the intimate part??? FUUUUUUUCK!?! Maybe I'm just fucked up??? I don't know okay. But if that was true wouldn't I want to date at least one of my friends? And I really do not.

Okay so maybe I have a problem with labels?? Also possible. Took a really long time for me to comfortable label myself as bi because I personally think everybody experiences sexuality differently and that to label it is to place it in a box and take away from the fact that those labels in themselves mean different things to people because we all interpret things differently blah blah blah bisexual is just easy and best fits how I feel about my own attractions to others. I don't think we NEED labels for something to be real to us but I also think in some circumstances we've been forced to label things to give them credibility in a world that would rather they did not exist.

So maybe I have a fear of labelling a romantic relationship as a romantic relationship because the connotations of a romantic relationship scare me??? Is that what is happening??? I'm pretty comfortable with friendships as explained above, in fact I'm overly comfortable lmao. Maybe what I consider a deep and profound friendship others would consider a romantic relationship? And therefore it is the label of romantic that makes me so very uncomfortable to apply to my own relationships???????????????? Again. I don't fucking know.

Monogamy is not something I care about at all. If you want to be monogamous fine do that. If you want to be polyamorous... fine. Do that. Don't care. Carry on with you day. Do I fear monogamy in my own life? I have no idea. Maybe that's the reason I don't want a romantic relationship? But then I don't particularly want a polyamorous relationship either. (I do have to admit that the idea of a polyam relationship does not make me as uncomfortable as a mono one but I think that's because I perceive a polyam relationship as somehow more casual than mono one which is completely untrue and I know that but that's just how my brain WANTS it to be so that's just a me being biased/stereotypical/internalizing misinformation thing...). So yeah that.

Any this is how I have felt my entire life and one of the reasons why I personally have black listed the tag 'reader insert' because even though I find fictional relationships incredibly interesting I do not ever want that for me for some reason.

I. I need a fucking cookie that was emotionally draining to write Jesus Christ.

Anyway. This has been a fun, am I fucked up or this something that normal people experience too, essay.

Fuck.

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kawowru-nagisa · 7 years

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(1) i dont get it. why does everyone have some sort of mindset that you have to be persecuted in specific ways/ a specific amount to be lgbt. I realize that there has been some pretty ridiculous comments by certain people in the aro/ace spaces but honestly most people i know aren't like that? and it makes me sad to see people picking those specific instances and spreading them. i dont think its fair to make statements about what’s “worse" since that's generalizing people and everyone's

(2) experiences are different and weigh differently for each person and their set of circumstances. but i DO acknowledge that there are more systematic ways of oppression for other lgbt members. idk it makes me really sad to hear all this because people seem to always brush things off/make jokes about being ace/aro without actually trying to understand or talk about things. it feels like people are trying to be exclusive, which is ironically what other people have done to the lgbt? i’m(3) rambling i guess, but i guess i'd like to hear clearly what your feelings about this are since i cant see your full thoughts in the tags and also you seem to identify as (grey) aromantic yourself.tw for mentions of rape and general overall homophobia woohoook so i finally got onto a computer so i’m gonna answer this as shortly as i can so everyone knows where i am in this whole debate lmfao. you’re correct, i am aromantic. and i think that aromanticism and asexuality are real and valid things. but they don’t make one lbgt or automatically qualify a person to be part of the community. like i’m part of the lgbt community because i am trans and pansexual, which means i am not cis and not heterosexual or heteroromantic. i’m not part of the lgbt community because i’m aromantic, as if i were aromantic or asexual and otherwise heteroromantic/heterosexual and cis, i would not be oppressed as i would be straight and cis and there is no system of oppression built around not wanting to date/have a long term relationship/have sex if you’re a straight (heterosexual or romantic), cis person. the only true instance where i see asexuality and aromanticism as being part of the lgbt community is if the person who is asexual or aromantic is otherwise not heterosexual/heteroromantic and/or cis. straight cis people have built this idea that the lgbt community is dirty for having sex, but it is also weird for them not to have sex, so if one is a gay cis female, for instance, she would be given shit by straight cis people for wanting to have sex without a relationship, and she would also be given shit by straight cis people for wanting a relationship without sex, because for some reason when you’re not straight or cis that means that your entire relationship has to be built up around sex that is “dirty” (so if one is aro and not dating someone but just having sex, they’re “dirty,” but if one is ace and not having sex at all straight cis people will question the validity of one’s relationship) while also not being sexual at all as to not make cis straight people upset. that ties into oppression against cis gay women specifically, therefore making her oppressed for her asexuality or aromanticism. this applies to gay, bi/pansexual, or otherwise sexually fluid humans as well. on the other hand, if someone is a cis straight person, regardless of whether or not they’re a man or a woman, there is obviously some taboo around not wanting sex or relationships, but there is no real oppression, as straight relationships comprised of two cis people are not inherently expected to be sexual, and when two cis straight people have sex it is not considered “dirty.” to put it simply, when people who are ONLY aromantic or asexual but are otherwise hetero and cis try and reclaim words like “queer,” say stupid shit like “i could be having DIRTY gay sex but instead i’m not doing anything at all !!” or literally anything else that they do on this stupid website, it ticks off people from all stretches of the lgbt community and it’s awful. then they claim oppression when we get upset with it, and then they turn off their computers and their “oppression” about their sexuality goes away. asexuals on this site have also tried to use the term “corrective rape,” a term coined by gay, lesbian, and trans people for when someone tries to “fix their gayness” by raping them, to describe sex they’ve had and have been uncomfortable with or even sexual assault. like i’m sure that there are some instances of sexual assault or rape because someone said they’re not interested in that stuff and obviously any sexual assault is absolutely horrible and nobody deserves that, but going so far as to call that “corrective rape” when you’re not homosexual or trans is really truly pushing a line in my opinion.

anyway this is starting to get really long and i’m starting to just kind of become annoyed so i’m gonna end this here lmao. if there are any questions or if i didn’t go into enough detail about something, feel free to shoot me an ask and we can talk about it.

tldr: being aromantic or asexual doesn’t make you lgbt !! sincerely, an aromantic person

thanks for the ask !!

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the-cooler-king-finnigan · 7 years

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Tagged!

I was tagged by @a-schuylerr! Yay!

rules: you must answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people today I’m too lazy to tag so if you wanna do this, blame it on me and just go for it xxx

the last: 1. Drink: half a glass of diet coke 2. Phone call: my dad lmao 3. Text message: my mom (I need a life) 4. Song you listened to: The Cave by Mumford & Sons 5. Time you cried: this morning, Summer knows why, but please don’t ask (actually you can ask cause I’m still salty about why) 6. Dated someone twice: if this question was dated someone once, the answer would still be no 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: no 8. Been cheated on: nah 9. Lost someone special: nope (except MYSELF) 10. Been depressed: yea 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: I drank one (1) beer a few months ago and I vowed to myself to never drink alcohol again because it’s DISGUSTING 3 favorite colors 1. Yellow 2. Pink 3. Blue (but also Green) (but also Red) In the last year have you: 15. Made new friends: Heck yeah! 16. Fallen out of love: I’‘m aromantic. ‘nuff said. 17. Laughed until you cried: so many times 18. Found out someone was talking about you: yea, but I didn’t really mind, I don’t really like her that much in the first place :/ 19. Met someone who changed you: Heck yeah! 20. Found out who your friends are: it was nice finding out I had friends in the first place 21. Kissed someone on your facebook list: nah

General 22. How many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: 60-70? 23. Do you have any pets: :( 24. Do you want to change your name: nah, I’m good, thanks 25. What did you do for your last birthday: baked some cupcakes, went to see FBAWTFT in the cinema and studied cause my bd was like during the exams 26. What time did you wake up: 7 AM 27. What were you doing last night at midnight: watching youtube lmao 28. Name something you can’t wait for: I guess first day of senior year, and obviously the holidays 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: I am looking at her right now 31. What are you listening to right now: my parents talking 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: ????probably???? 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: me 34. Most visited website: Tumblr, Youtube, and Facebook 36. Long or short hair: Short 37. Do you have a crush on someone: again, I’m aro 38. What do you like about yourself: eye color, nose, and hands (cause the fingers aren’t too long, or too thick, they’re really good at playing violin, my nails always look great without effort and somehow I never get calloused hands no matter what i do) 39. Piercings: one in each ear 40. Blood type: A+ 41. Nickname: Frodo 42. Relationship status: single af lmao 43. Zodiac: Sagittarius 44. Pronouns: she/her 45. Fave tv show: Doctor Who atm 46. Tattoos: none 47. Right or left handed: Right 48. Surgery: twice. One time to put tubes in my ears and one time because my sinusses were so swollen up I could barely breathe through my nose and I was producing snot 24/7, so a large part was removed. 49. Piercing: more like PIERCING EYES *ba dum tss* 50. Sport: going up and down the stairs to get food and also biking to school 51. Vacation: Germany, leaving tomorrow! 52. Pair of trainers: 2, one jeans, one crimson red 53. Eating: Lasagna 54. Drinking: i love me some dr. Pepper 55. I’m about to: eat 56. Waiting for: an existential crisis since I just realized I have nothing to wait for the next 9 weeks 57. Want: food, be happy 58. Get married: hopefully 59. Career: ER doctor!

which is better: 60. Hugs or kisses: Hugs 61. Lips or eyes: eyes 62. Shorter or taller: I’m short so everything needs to shrink tf down lmao 63. Older or younger: Younger, older makes me think of baby boomers 64. Nice arms or nice stomach: ?????all arms and stomachs are nice????? 65. Hook up or relationship: who even says hookup here? 66. Troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant, because troublemakers bring, well... trouble

have you ever: 67. Kissed a stranger: nope 68. Drank hard liquor: nah 69. Lost glasses/contact lenses: so many times 70. Turned someone down: no one wants me anyway lmao 71. Sex on the first date: sex??? date???? such wild concepts wow 72. Broken someone’s heart: whom’d’ve????? 73. Had your heart broken: again.... I’m aro 74. Been arrested: hell nah 75. Cried when someone died: yeah 76. Fallen for a friend: ARO do you believe in: 77. Yourself: hell yeah and you should too! 78. Miracles. Yes 79. Love at first sight: nope 80. Santa claus: never have, I used to believe in Saint-Nicholas tho, it’s a Dutch thing, google it 81. Kiss on the first date: only if it’s like a long-known best friend turned lover cliché, otherwise, no 82. Angels: yea

other: 83. Current best friend’s name: Roxanne 84. Eye colour: blue 85. Favorite movie: Lord of the Rings trilogy

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