#lmaoo this just makes me sounds sad and desperate
Text
ateez as royals who fall for you (maknae line)
read hyung line here
genre: royalty!ateez x fem!reader, fluff, angst, smut, crack, a brainrot and smutfest of royal tropes
length: 11.3k
c/w: very nsfw scenes - mdni, explicit language (dirty talk, swearing, insults), death, violence, blood & injuries, weapons, heavy & mature themes (sex work, murder, assassination, execution, mentions of misogyny)
a/n: as much as writing royals was tricky, it's kind of 🤢 sad 🤢 to see this au end. that being said nobody ask me for a pt 2 pls i need to recover from the trauma LMAOO and as always, huge thank you to the queen of royal au's herself @sorryimananti-romantic for helping me finish the fic and for teaching me how to make moodboards using something that is *not* word doc :')
san
pov: you're forbidden lovers
“shh,” san hushes you with a teasing curl of his fingers that are buried inside you. “wouldn’t want everyone outside to know what a dirty little slut the princess is, do you?”
his other hand covers your mouth, stifling the breathy moans and desperate whines that escape your lips as you sit in between his legs, naked and pressed back to lean against his chest
there is the sound of water splashing over the edge of the bathtub when san hooks his feet around your inner ankles so that he can spread your legs wider for him
he presses the palm of his hand harshly against your clit and your back arches with a muffled worship of his name
“or maybe you like that,” he teases “you like the idea of people knowing how good i make you feel with my fingers”
san removes his hand from your mouth and lowers it to pinch your nipple, smirking against your neck as you babble incoherently
he coos as he adds yet another finger into you, “imagine that, everyone knows you as the princess who loves being fucked dumb. and by one of her servants, no less”
all caution is thrown to wind and you drop your head back to lean against his shoulder, mouth lolling open with unrestrained pleads for more, more, faster as he angles his fingers to hit that sweet spot inside of you
“cum, princess” he demands
you grip bruises onto san’s thighs and arms when the pace of his fingers doesn’t relent even after your orgasm has washed over you
his arms tighten around you as his thighs flex to keep you still in his hold
you let out a choked sob from the overstimulation, teetering between pain and pleasure
“give me one more, i know you can do it,” he coaxes
the hand that has been fondling your breasts snakes down to rub your clit
with his fingers knuckle-deep inside of your pussy and his other hand playing relentlessly with your sensitive clit, the scale tips over and your vision blurs as another wave of pleasure hits you, more intense than the first one
“princess?” and then a knock. “are you okay?”
san slowly draws out the remainder of your orgasm with lazy thrusts of his finger into you
you just know he’s enjoying himself when you have to hide the shakiness in your voice to answer back to your maid outside, “everything’s fine. i’ll be done soon”
“soon?” san smirks, lifting you up by the waist to align your folds with his swollen cock. “then we better make this quick”
because you and san do not have the luxury of time, much less the luxury of love
he isn’t just another one of the numerous servants who serve you
he is everything to you despite how taboo it is for a princess and servant to love each other
his insignificance within the palace makes it much easier for him to slip away; for nobody to take notice
but at the same time, his insignificance is the whole reason why you two must be secretive in the first place
you make sure san has safely snuck out of the bathroom before you finally exit the bathtub and stand on unsteady legs
you allow your maids to come in and help you into the elaborate attire you are to wear for the afternoon
your parents have informed you that you are going to have visitors, thus requiring you to look your best
without much time left until the appointed meeting due to your…escapade, you make your way to the great hall, catching a glimpse of san’s dimpled smile from amongst the other body servants and waiting staff in the room
you have only just settled into your seat next to the king and queen when the guard outside the doors announces the arrival of your guests - the monarchs from the neodonian kingdom
schooling your expression to one of neutrality, you watch as they enter
and then you realise it isn’t just the neodonian king and queen who have come to visit
but the prince as well
he is undeniably handsome and pleasing to the eye with his sleekly gelled hair, chiseled features and tall, sturdy build
the young prince catches you looking at him and breaks out into a friendly smile and-
oh
he has dimples too
the king garners everyone’s attention with a clear of his throat, before he welcomes the monarchs
prince jaehyun, you learn his name is
“after much discussion between ourselves and king jeong and queen jeong, we are pleased to announce our desire for closer relations between our kingdoms,” your father starts, booming voice resounding within the hall
you can’t stop yourself from looking over at him as he speaks with purpose, a strange niggling feeling starting to twist your stomach
the tight smile that your mother passes you from your father’s other side does little to settle your nerves
“as such,” the king continues, “we shall look forward to the engagement between my daughter and prince jaehyun”
there is a roaring sound in your ears, as if you have been pushed to stand under a raging waterfall
engagement
the engagement
you
prince jaehyun
the engagement between you and prince jaehyun
it takes everything in your body not to bolt up from your seat
your hands grip the armrests of your seat with a grasp so tight you are certain you will leave a permanent imprint of your agony
instead, you look around frantically for the one person your instincts are screaming for
where is san?
you are afraid to see how much this is going to hurt him
you are desperate to tell him that you had no idea about this
you are aching to press confessions of love and reassurance against his lips
but just like the insignificance of his status, san is nowhere to be seen
over the two years that you and san have been in your secret relationship, he has gained extensive knowledge of which particular tasks allow him a greater chance of seeing you, which corridors reach you the quickest, and which times during your schedule you have a break
never would you have thought he would use this knowledge to avoid you
it continues like that for the weeks following the announcement
you have no choice but to spend time with your future fiance when your father tells you very clearly to “ensure the prince feels at home”
prince jaehyun is warm and you find yourself getting along with him like you two are friends, but that is it - there are no sparks brighter than friendship
when you spend time with him, you cannot help but compare him to san; san would’ve said this, san would’ve done that, san, san, san
jaehyun engages you in conversation, easily filling in the gaps and lulls with little comments here and there, equipped with a charming laugh and deep dimples
but it only reminds you of san’s dimples and crescent eyes when you two would race through corridors, fingers tightly interwoven as you both run away to a secluded area with hushed giggles
jaehyun points out that neither of you like mushrooms during a dinner and helps nudge the servings on both of your plates to one side
the smile as you say “thank you” does not fully grace your lips because you think about san, who boasts that he will eat all the mushrooms in the world so that you never have to lay eyes on one ever again
jaehyun offers a soft yet sturdy hand to help you down the stairs or when he notices you are walking in heels across an uneven surface
your body recalls san’s rough, calloused hands that leave a trail of goosebumps wherever they touch your bare skin as he worships your body all night long
jaehyun is handsome and he is kind, but he is not san
the night before the king officially announces your engagement with prince jaehyun arrives
and still, you have not had a moment alone with san since he disappeared during that first announcement in the great hall
hurt and longing consume you to the very core
some days it is manageable, a concealed yet incessant thought, like a sticker stuck to the sole of your shoe
other days it wraps around your soul completely like a constrictor tightening as it slowly squeezes the life out of its prey
but you know that you cannot be selfish
what you feel, san feels with an intensity multiplied several times
after all, you are not the one who must stand in the shadows as the love of your life becomes engaged to somebody else, powerless to do anything but watch and poison your own smile with lies
you are lying on your bed when a quick, sharp knock sounds on your bedroom doors
you make no move to acknowledge your visitor, having told your maids very clearly you did not want to be disturbed tonight
your last night as yourself before you become prince jaehyun’s fiance
but then the knocks come a little more urgent, a little more frantic, just like your heartbeat does as it starts to speed up in anticipation
you hold your breath as you hurry to pull open the doors-
and there he is
“san-”
he swallows the rest of your words in a desperate kiss, his hands coming up to cradle your jaw as he walks you backwards so that he can step into your room
he tilts your head and slots his lips against yours again while he nudges your door closed with his foot
it isn’t until you let out a whine as his tongue swipes over your bottom lip that he pulls back to finally look at you, both of his thumbs caressing your cheekbones
you grip the front of his linen shirt, afraid that he will disappear as soon as you let go
“san, i- i had no idea, i didn’t agree to any of this”
he shushes you gently, a painful smile adorning his handsome face
“i know. i know, so please don’t cry, love,” he murmurs softly
you don’t even realise the weeks of suppressed emotions have started making their way down your face in salty trails until san uses the back of his fingers to tenderly brush them away
“i’m getting engaged tomorrow, san,” your voice breaks as reality settles in
you are so afraid
you are so lost
above all, you are so in love with san
“i know,” he reassures again, “but until tomorrow, you are still mine”
and so you spend your last night together
time has always been precious; conversations, kisses and touches rushed and with fervour
but tonight, san takes his time with you
he lays on your bed with you cradled on top of him, limbs tangled together as he savours the taste of your lips against his
he turns you onto your back as he slowly undresses you, leaving tattoos of his love each time he bares another part of your body
he pleasures you with his fingers whilst whispering into your ears, creating a harmony with his praises and the melodious moans that leave your lips
and as he brings you both to your highs numerous times throughout the night like an ingrained dance routine, it is accompanied with confessions of i love you
san holds you against his chest under your blankets so tightly that you cannot tell where your body ends and his body starts
before you drift off, safe and protected in his arms, he murmurs against your temple, “no matter what happens tomorrow, no matter what happens in the future, my heart will always be yours”
“as will mine”
you wake up the next morning to an empty bed and an equally empty heart
restless and drowning in a mix of emotions, you pace the empty corridors of the guest bedchambers
which is where jaehyun finds you as he exits his room
he is surprised but is quick to greet you kindly, “good morning, princess. what are you doing here?”
you pause mid-step
what are you doing?
“prince jaehyun,” you let the words come out of you before you can regret them. “can we talk for a moment?”
he nods, entering his room again as he pulls the door open wider for you to follow
jaehyun closes the door and then offers you a seat on his sofa, before pulling up his own chair and settling a respectful distance away from you
“i hope you don’t feel uncomfortable in my room,” he explains, “i thought that we would be less likely to be disturbed in here…considering most people know of our engagement today”
“actually, i wanted to talk to you about that”
“go on,” he encourages you with a dimpled smile
you take a deep breath
“i’m sorry,” you blurt out
and then you are admitting to the prince that he is lovely and charming and caring, but you just don’t see it working out with him
you don’t want to get engaged with him
because your heart already belongs to somebody else
“good”
“i’m so sorry, i should have been honest with you from the start but- wait, what?” you look up from where you have been nervously picking at your cuticles
jaehyun is smiling at you - a genuine smile that you did not know he had
“i’m actually relieved to hear that, princess,” he admits. “because i…also have someone that i love back home”
and for the first time, you and jaehyun truly see each other in the same light
“who is it?” he asks
“his name is san,” and then you add on, “he has dimples just like you do”
you ask him the same question
you see the way jaehyun’s expression softens with love from just the mere thought of the other
it makes you wonder whether you have the same look on your face when you mention san
jaehyun jokes, “want to be the one who tells your father we’re calling off the engagement? i don’t fancy getting executed today”
but despite what he says, mere hours later, when you are both standing in the great hall before your parents - the kings and queens of both your kingdoms - he is the one to speak up
“your majesty, we have decided to part ways peacefully and would not like to proceed with the engagement. our kingdom will always be your ally, regardless of marital relations or not”
“what?” you see veins starting to appear across the king’s forehead as he tries to maintain his temper, but the queen and the jeong monarchs seem to be taking the news much better
disappointed, perhaps, but understanding
the queen leans closer to remind the king that they had all agreed to this engagement on the terms that the decision would ultimately be yours and jaehyun’s
you suddenly speak up because this may be the only time you have the courage to
“i have one more thing to say,” you declare. “i revoke my noble status and thus declare nullified all the privileges, rules and traditions that come with nobility. i have someone i love and i wish to marry them as myself, not as the kingdom’s princess”
the king roars furiously, “that is enough! leave!” and he slams his hand against the throne’s armrest
shocked and betrayed by your father’s reaction, you rush out of the great hall with tears welling in your eyes
only to run straight into the waiting arms of san
“oh, princess,” he murmurs against the crown of your head as he engulfs you in his embrace
he doesn’t have to say anything for you to realise that he has heard the whole conversation
but you do not care about anything anymore
you are where you want to be, held by who you want to be with
“how are you here?” you sniffle
“jaehyun approached me earlier. i thought i was going to get beat up,” san’s attempt to make you smile is successful
when you lift your head up to look at him, you realise his eyes are wet as well
then you feel his body stiffen as his eyes shift to focus on something behind you
someone
he immediately steps away from you, bowing deeply as he greets the queen
you turn around to see her face adorning an endearing smile
“it’s fine, sannie,” she says, and you are not sure whether you and san are more surprised by the fact that she knows him by name or by the affectionate nickname she has used
“i’ll, uh, leave you two to talk,” he flusters
she thanks him with a teasing remark, “i won’t keep her away from you for very long”
san waits further down the corridor, back turned to give you two a moment of privacy
and then she is stroking your hair affectionately
“i am so proud of you. you’ve grown up so well and you are so brave,” she says
you don’t understand
you ask, “why aren’t you angry?”
“oh, baby,” she fondly runs her fingers through your hair, just like she used to when you were younger. “before my duties as the queen to my people, i am the mother to my daughter. i love you and all i want is for you to be happy”
your lips tremble with emotion as your mother pulls you into a hug
“does sannie make you happy, dear?”
you nod, “the happiest”
“then that is all i want. now go,” she takes a hold of your shoulders and gently turns you in the direction of san. “i’ll talk to your father”
with one last encouraging squeeze, you race down the corridor towards san
he hears your footsteps and has already turned around with open arms waiting to catch you
you hear him let out an oomph! with how hard you throw yourself into him, but he is then swaying your bodies side to side
san pulls back slightly with an incredulous look. “does this mean we can be together? together together?”
“i goddamn hope so because i gave up my princess privileges for you. no more carriages, no more assorted sweet delicacies, no more daily massages-” you fold down your fingers as you continue listing things off
he cuts you off with a tickle to your sides as he says, “that’s easy to sort out”
“first, you’ll still be my princess,” he unfurls one of your fingers so it stands upright again
“second, i’ll carry you myself so that you never need to use your feet again,” he unfurls another finger
“i’ll give you a treat whenever you want,” he kisses your lips, nibbling on your bottom lip with a teasing tug
“and, dear princess,” he pulls you flush against his body and you have to steady yourself on his chest to avoid tripping over, “i can give you hourly massages…”
smirking, he starts to lower his head to suck pretty marks onto your neck as he whispers in a low voice, “...if you can keep up”
mingi
pov: you're the prince's maid
for what you are about to do, you could very well be executed should somebody catch you
but desperate times call for desperate measures
and there’s no guarantee that you and all the other staff will not be executed anyway…
not with what has just happened in the palace
you push the door closed behind you with a soft click, using the brief changeover of guards to slip inside the bedroom of the youngest prince, unnoticed
you call out softly but urgently, “prince mingi”
when you hear him groggily murmur, starting to bubble towards the surface of consciousness, you dare to give his shoulder a rough shake
“prince mingi, please wake up”
his eyes flutter open, confusion starting to clear the fogginess in his head as he struggles to comprehend the sight of your face hovering inches from his, deep into the hours of the night
“w-what’s going on?” he clears his husky voice, “are you okay?”
you wish you could reach out and smooth the wrinkles of concern from his forehead
reassure him that everything will be okay until he falls back asleep
but there is no time
“the crown prince is dead and we must leave. now.”
the effect is immediate, like you have just driven a knife into his chest
although you suppose it must not feel very different for prince mingi right now
“the crown prince is d-” the word tastes vile on his tongue, so he asks after his second oldest brother instead. “what about prince eun?”
you must drive the knife into him once more
“he was the one who murdered the crown prince, but he has framed you for the murder. there is no time, prince mingi, we must leave now”
“the court will find me innocent,” yet he lets you tug him out of his bed
you hastily help prince mingi into a dark brown robe while you shake your head, “not when your inscribed sword is currently covered in the crown prince’s blood. we do not know who is secretly working for prince eun. until we know for sure, we do not stand a chance of clearing your name”
he knows that you’re right, even if his heart is hoping that you are wrong
the prince slides his hand into the gap between his bed and wall, pulling out a spare sword and wrapping the belt around his waist
eyes sweeping across his chamber one final time, he locks eyes with you grimly before turning to flee
you follow the prince through a back passageway - it’s not entirely a secret and it won’t be long before the royal guards come for the prince, discover his empty bedroom and give chase
but it is long enough to give you two a head start
he helps you up onto the back of his personal horse before he swings himself up easily onto the saddle behind you
with a nudge of his feet, the prince sends the horse into a gallop
you startle with a yelp, having never ridden a horse before, much less one at this pace
prince mingi presses himself a little closer to you and slots his chest against your back as he leans forward to guide your hands to hold the reins with his
“here,” he murmurs, “just follow me”
he shifts one hand to settle on your waist, guiding your body into a comfortable rhythm that dances in sync with the horse’s movements and his own
when he’s sure you’ve gotten the hang of it, the prince places his hand back on the reins, yet he stays close, keeping you safely encased within his arms to prevent you from falling off
you’re not sure how long you two ride for
but at some point the prince slows the horse to a canter
with the slower sway of the steed, the steady clack of hooves against the forest floor, and the warmth of the prince around you, you drift off to his whispered, “sleep, i’ve got you”
you wake up to find yourself on a scratchy pile of leaves
the events of last night piece themselves together when you spot prince mingi, still adorning his deep blue silk pajamas, leaning against a tree a few feet away
it would have been a sight to see if not for the fact that-
“what are we going to do now?” you sit up, and the prince’s robe, you now register, falls from around your body
the prince gives you a warm smile as you rub the sleep from your eyes with fisted hands
“we’ll head into halsburg. the town is small enough the news should not have traveled that far yet. we’ll replenish some supplies and go from there”
it’s unspoken
the fact that there is no solid plan from there
even if the two of you have managed to escape the royal guards, for how long can you two run?
plus, it will be impossibly difficult to find evidence while on the run, when the answers are within the castle walls themselves
but you push those thoughts aside as you two enter halsburg, the prince’s hood pulled up over his face
you do the bulk of the purchases, less likely to be recognised by the townspeople
it’s mainly food and water for yourself, the prince, and his horse, and a simple tunic to replace his royal pajamas - something you have been teasing him about since you woke up
later that night, hours away from the outskirts of halsburg, you two settle for a couple hours of rest
a small fire crackles away to the song of the cicadas, an occasional pop as the licks of flames cast shadows across your faces
you glance at the prince sitting across from you, who is idly fiddling with his pajama top
specifically, the royal crest of the song family embroidered onto its front pocket
your heart clenches painfully, knowing the death of a family member is hard enough to process without the additional weight of being framed for murder, much less by your own brother who is the real culprit
“prince mingi…” you start, voice low
he glances up at you, eyes softening as he curves his lips up into a small smile, “i’m okay.”
you hesitate for a split second before letting the clench in your gut pull you to your feet, and you shuffle to settle back down in front of the fire, except this time beside the prince
all the while his eyes never leave you, not even when you nudge his shoulder softly and say,
“you don’t have to be strong. not in front of me…”
and he knows
because despite the differences in your social statuses, you are the person he trusts the most
you, the girl who used to trip over the lengths of his robes that you carried, now a woman who holds herself righteously and bravely
you, who chose to risk your own life from the moment you woke him up in his chambers
you, who is still risking your life to flee with him
“only if you stop calling me prince,” he jokingly nudges you back, attempting to make the atmosphere lighter despite the wetness that is starting to paint his eyes. “with you, i am just mingi”
“okay, prince mingi,” you tease
yet, you still extend a hand out to him, palm upturned in a silent invitation for comfort should he wish to seek it, because you can tell that he isn’t quite ready to seek it verbally
mingi laces his larger fingers through yours, tucking your interlocked hands closer to his body as he draws his knees up so that he can rest his chin upon them
mingi thinks that he feels numb more than anything, but he finds he isn’t as surprised as one would expect him to be
perhaps he always knew of his middle brother’s thirst for the throne
he just never thought it would be enough to spill blood
for now though, he lets himself be distracted by your thumb tracing mindless patterns against his knuckles
he lets himself relish in the heat radiating from your side that seems to warm him from inside out, even as the embers of the fire slowly lose their glow and die out with the darkening night
the days start to repeat themselves
you two cover as much distance as you can while sparing what time you can afford for yourselves and mingi’s horse to rest
mingi has decided to travel to prince yunho's kingdom, an old and trusted ally who may be able to provide you two with protection while he pulls strings to fight back against prince eun
from his calculations, the journey will take at least another two weeks
and although mingi doesn’t tell you this, deep down he does not know whether you two have two weeks left
the threat of the royal guards catching up hangs over the two of you like a hangman’s noose
neither of you have brought up that night by the fire either
but something has definitely changed in the way you seek comfort and reassurance in each other
as if so long as you have each other, everything will be alright in the end
when you feel him tremble as he sleeps curled around you, restless from a plaguing nightmare, you hush sweet nothings and brush his locks away from his forehead until his breathing steadies out again
and when you’re seated on the saddle in front of him, you now having long grown accustomed to horse riding, he still finds himself resting a comforting hand on you somewhere - your hips, thigh or over your own hand
sometimes when he is laughing softly with you, your arms brushing against each other, you imagine a different story; one where you are worthy of loving him
sometimes when you are tucked into his chest, small exhales escaping your open lips as you sleep, mingi imagines a different story; one where he is able to love you freely
because despite the blood running through his veins that has ultimately led to his downfall, you still look at him as though he has placed the stars in the very sky that you two have spent countless nights under
and although he knows the reality is that he cannot, he tries to write his own story, even if just for tonight
you are lying in his arms, legs tangled together, when the question comes tumbling out of his lips
“will you stay with me, forever?”
he feels you still in his embrace, before you’re pulling back a little to look at him with a chuckle
“you should be asking a princess that, prince mingi, not somebody like me”
“you are a princess in my eyes”
you can’t help the endearing look that crosses over your face as you lightly tap his nose, “you know that is not how it works”
“then we can run away. for i am already as good as dead to my kingdom,” he tells you with boyish determination
“you cannot, mingi. your people need a good prince”
“but what prince would i be if i cannot even boldly love you? the person who is dearest to me?”
under his sincere gaze and the weight of his words, you allow him this moment of solace
because perhaps, you want it just as much as he does
“okay, i’ll be your princess,” you breathe out
“forever?”
“forever”
that night, it is just you and mingi - no titles that separate your world from his, no looming threat of death - just two people in love
even as an uneasy pit settles at the bottom of mingi’s stomach, a growing feeling that gnaws away at him into the early hours of the next morning
he is startled awake, your expression frightened, and he immediately understands when he hears the thunderous chorus of hooves hitting the ground towards you two
mingi had known there was not much time left, but he did not think that the inevitable confrontation would happen this soon, only mere hours after the soft kiss he had pressed against your forehead
the desperate attempt to escape once more is futile, the royal guards closing the distance within minutes
left with no choice but to stop, you and mingi demount and the guards move to flank you both in a wide semicircle
when the head of the guards, prince eun, saunters forward, mingi matches with a stride of his own so that he can step in front of you
“you killed the crown prince, eun,” mingi spits at his brother
“running and denying your actions up until your very last moments, i see,” prince eun laughs condescendingly. “and you even took a little dog with you, too”
mingi presses you closer to his back, hiding you from the leering gaze of his brother
prince eun smiles smugly at mingi’s reaction, before he takes out a scroll and unravels it
“for high treason of the assassination of the crown prince, the king hereby decrees the immediate revocation of nobility of his third son, song mingi, and for the execution of song mingi and his maid upon sighting.”
you press your nose into mingi’s back, taking one last inhale of his familiar scent
the bowmen all take aim as prince eun sneers, “any last words, brother?”
mingi turns around, and all you can see in that moment are his warm eyes and dimpled cheeks
“i love you, my princess,” he proclaims
“forever,” you reply
he brings his lips down to connect them with yours, drowning out the distinct vibration of loosening strings and the hiss of flying arrows with the roaring symphony in your hearts
you’re unsure what pain swallows you whole first - the pain as an arrowhead sinks into your chest, or the pain as you realise that this is the end of your short-lived love with mingi
you struggle to keep the smile on your face as you lock eyes with mingi, trying to memorise the loving gaze that adorns his own face
you see his mouth moving, but the pain exploding throughout your body is too loud for you to make out his words
with your last breath, you gasp out your final confession, “i love you too, mingi. we’ll meet again in the next life”
as the world starts to fade away, cold creeping into your limbs, you hope that in another story, in another lifetime, you and mingi will be able to find each other again
wooyoung
pov: you're the princess of a rival kingdom
“absolutely not, advisor lee,” your mother raises her nose in the air
“your highness, i understand but-”
“oh please, do not flatter yourself, queen cho,” queen jung spits out, “you are not the only one who abhors the idea”
you glare at the prince sitting across from you, your own gazes reflecting the tension in the room
advisor lee has suggested that your family and the jung family host a joint royal ball as a grand display of amity between the two neighbouring kingdoms, particularly between the princess - yourself - and their prince - prince wooyoung
there have been spreading rumours in town of the strained relationship between the two royal families
which aren’t entirely untrue
as a child, the two kingdoms have been loyal and steadfast in their alliance and friendship
in fact, it is not uncommon to find you joining prince wooyoung in his kitchen, begging the chefs to let you two lick the spoons
or to find prince wooyoung squatting next to you in your garden as you both look at the ladybugs
but as power imbalances emerge and political agendas start to diverge, a wedge is driven between your families
the relation is now dangerously close to severing completely, but not without the increasing attention of the towns surrounding the two kingdoms
and one of the last things both royal families need is unease and disunity amongst the commoners
which brings advisor lee to look on with exasperation as he tries to do his job - advise
except neither your mother nor queen jung look ready to accept his advice
your father nods slightly at the two of you, “you are dismissed, as are you, prince wooyoung”
you curtsy as the prince takes a slight bow, before you obnoxiously flick your hair over your shoulder and turn away on your heels
you escape to the garden, knowing that the meeting will take at least another hour before you are required to bid the jung family farewell
except, surprise surprise
who do you run into
you narrow your eyes at prince wooyoung as he steps towards you, who has one eyebrow quirked, “a royal ball, he says?”
“absolutely not,” you fold your arms across your chest
“oh please, do not flatter yourself, princess,” he sneers, not dissimilar to the nasally tone his mother had voiced her dissatisfaction earlier with
neither of you back down, daring the other to say something else
before you two break out into giggles, eyes glittering scandalously
“did you see your mother deliberately pass the salt instead of sugar for the tea?”
“and then the face my mother made when she took a sip of it-”
he pulls you to crouch behind an azalea bush as you both chortle like children, out of sight, before he brings you in for a dizzying kiss
you sigh, resting a hand on his chest
“do you also abhor the idea of dancing with me, prince wooyoung?” a teasing lilt in your voice
“absolutely,” he nods grimly, “why go to all that effort when there is a much grander and longer-lasting solution?”
“and what is that, my prince?”
he sneaks another chaste kiss from your lips, “for me to take your hand in marriage, my princess”
at his words, your smile dampens
“you know that i would say yes in a heartbeat. it is not i who needs convincing, but our parents”
because despite the growing hostility between your two families, the relationship you share with wooyoung has, ironically, blossomed into one of well-concealed adoration, intimacy and love
you two have come to learn that that one slightly lighter stone on the western side of your kingdom’s outer walls comes loose, and is the perfect size for slipping a piece of paper behind it
you two have also come to learn that every fourth week, if you ask your personal tutor enough questions about the plants laid out on the store’s table in front of you during your scheduled lesson in town, you’ll be able to drag it out long enough for you both to just catch a glimpse of each other as he and his escorts cut through the town on their way back to his kingdom
and of course, you two have come to learn the most isolated spots in your own respective kingdoms, like the second stairwell leading down to the cellar in wooyoung’s palace
and amongst the azalea bushes in the back garden in yours
which is exactly how you knew that he would appear, how you knew that he would give you those sweet kisses you have been craving so desperately
as wooyoung cups your jaw to kiss you once more, one that leaves you wanting to chase his lips forever, he bets you that it’ll only take two weeks of close-quarter meetings between your royal families before one of your mothers blow up and the ball idea falls through completely
in response, you bet him that they won’t even last two weeks - one at the most
except you’re both wrong
the meeting turns into two, followed by several more as the planning goes ahead
sometimes, the meetings are held in the jung palace
other times, their family journeys to your kingdom instead
one thing that stays constant is the malevolence in the air
the parents are sarcastic snipes and saccharine smiles
and on the surface, you and wooyoung are further extensions of your own parents’ simmering loathing for the other
but under the intricately-carved wooden table, you two are playing footsies, jeweled heels and leather shoes engaged in a playful fight
you see how many times you can slide your heels up along his shin, gradually inching closer towards his inner thigh with each coquettish touch
he has you pass him anything and everything under the guise of forgoing the help of the numerous royal butlers and maids around the room to deliberately irritate you
really, it is to accidentally brush his fingers over your hands; to see the pretty shade of rose that settles over your cheeks and ears as you both try not to break out into giggles
and perhaps, during the meals that may take place during the meetings, there have been a couple of peas flicked at each other here and there when no one is paying attention
(unbeknownst to you two, the maids and butlers alike must hide their own endearing smiles)
the weeks turn into months and you practically have a permanent glow radiating from you, now that you have been seeing the prince so frequently
(which also does not go unnoticed)
as you select a necklace from the assortment of choices to emphasise the plunging neckline of your off-shoulder gown, you wonder how the day of the royal ball has arrived so quickly
your personal maid, jihye, carefully fixes the clasp of the necklace around you before stepping back to let you look in the mirror
you smooth a hand over the soft lavender charmeuse of your dress, nervously looking at jihye
“how do i look?”
“stunning, my princess,” she assures you, before adding, “prince wooyoung will definitely love it”
“prin- he- what? i- sorry?” you say unintelligibly, before you try to salvage the situation by tucking a lock of hair behind your ear as you laugh her off
but jihye just looks at you knowingly
meanwhile, prince wooyoung is already at the grand hall, the jung family having arrived two days prior for the final preparations of the ball
he and his friends, princes from kingdoms located further up north and towards the east, are lingering around one of the tables decorated with flower arrangements and elaborate candle holders, ignoring the longing glances of other attendees, women and men alike, thrown at their striking posse
wooyoung is trying to keep his gaze subtle, scanning the vast number of people at the ball without craning or turning his head, searching for one particular face
yours
prince yeosang nudges the others, jerking his chin to motion towards the distracted wooyoung
when wooyoung finally realises he isn’t as subtle as he thinks, all his friends are already looking at him with varying degrees of smirks
“just know that if there were not so many people here,” wooyoung begins with a pleasant smile, “i would flip you all off right now”
before he can try stepping on his friends’ toes in the form of petty revenge, prince seonghwa points towards the entrance as his smile grows impossibly wider
“look”
wooyoung turns around
and like any typical man who is head over heels in love, the world around him slows down
the gushing whispers spreading throughout the ballroom fade into the background
because finally, there you are, gracefully stepping past the threshold of the arched doorway in all your alluring beauty, accentuated by the way your curled locks and flowing gown frame your body
for the briefest moment, you lock eyes with him, and wooyoung feels his brain shutting down on him
“you’re going to catch a fly in your mouth, woo”
“pick up your jaw. it’s on the ground”
prince yunho pretends to dab wooyoung’s mouth with the ruffled sleeves of his cream shirt, “you’re drooling, darling”
at that, wooyoung smacks his lips dazedly before coming to a moment of realisation, blinking hard twice to bring himself back to reality
“god, you’re hopeless. just go up and talk to her,” prince hongjoong snickers. “the whole point of this ball is to show off how ‘close’ your families are anyway”
wooyoung grumbles that he knows, he’s just looking for the right timing
which, unfortunately, does not seem to come
you spend what feels like the next two hours being whisked around, feigning polite interest as you are forced to engage in dull and bland conversations with numerous men of differing royal statuses, all of whom are no doubt trying to make an impression on you in hopes of becoming a potential suitor in the future
not that you have eyes for anyone apart from the one who already has your heart
the very same person who is currently fed up with watching you converse and let your hands be kissed by men who are not him
even if he knows you are pretending, he thinks that you sure are damn good at giggling at all the right times
you are trying not to let your smile turn into a grimace as the older-aged man, lord ryu you think, boasts of his wealth to you, when wooyoung enters your peripheral vision
“princess, lord ryu,” he greets you both, before looking down at the latter, “pardon me as i take the princess for a dance”
lord ryu, visibly irked but unable to say anything to the prince of significantly higher status, lets go of your hand to step back into a bow, “of course, prince wooyoung”
you giggle, this time genuinely, as wooyoung takes your hand to gently lead you towards the center of the ballroom, where several others are starting to waltz to the soft music that is now playing
you rest a hand just below his shoulder, feeling the sturdiness of his muscles flexing beneath his shirt, as he places his other hand to settle on the dip of your waist
a little possessively, you might add
“you look beautiful today,” he murmurs lowly, away from any prying ears
“only today?” you quirk an eyebrow teasingly
his voice drops down an octave, “well it’s not every day that i can tell you, princess”
wooyoung’s eyes flicker down hungrily to look at your lips
you run your tongue slowly over your bottom lip, knowing it will drive him absolutely crazy that he cannot just take you right there and then in front of everybody
and you can see the moment his resolve snaps
“meet me for some fresh air in ten,” bringing his lips as close to the shell of your ear as he dares
and then he’s gone
you become progressively antsy as you wait out a generous amount of time after he leaves for you to also slip away from the ballroom
wooyoung pins you against a pillar as soon as you emerge in the garden, aching to kiss you and fight for dominance until you’re both breathless and light-headed
“you don’t know how desperately i wanted to kiss you in front of everyone - let the whole world know that you’re mine,” he nips at your bottom lip
you rest your hands on his chest, fingers curled around the pleated front of his satin shirt to hold yourself steady as he turns your lips into an artwork of swollen cherry reds
he tilts your head back a little more, your mouths moving in tandem, soft moans drawn out of you, when-
“what in god’s name is going on?”
you and wooyoung startle apart at the shriek
the blush dusting your faces pale almost immediately at the sight of not just your mother, but also queen jung and a few of the royal staff
it’s kind of amusing that of all things for the two queens to have the same mindset about, it is the discovery of you and wooyoung’s secret relationship that unites them, both sharing twin expressions of horror and revulsion
you’re ripped from each other’s arms as you are forced back into the confines of your bed chamber, royal ball long forgotten
your only solace is learned later that night, when jihye brings a trolley of food you have no appetite for, that the jung family have not yet returned to their kingdom
they are still in your palace somewhere
yet that does little to soothe your tears, overwhelmed by the drastic turn of events, and you do not know when you fall asleep that night
all you know is that it is to a bed too cold and a longing in your heart too gaping to ignore
“princess,” you look up to see jihye standing at your door the next morning, almost apologetic, “the king and queen request for your presence in the throne room”
as you approach the room after tidying your appearance, your breath hitches when you spot him just by the double doors
you barrel forwards into his waiting arms, uncaring of the staff following behind you
not that they have the heart to stop you either way
“i thought you would have been forced to leave,” you blurt, unable to believe that wooyoung is right in front of you
“i’m still here,” he chuckles. “i have been summoned by your parents”
your heart drops down to your stomach at his words as you realise what this meeting is about
“and i am glad they did, princess,” wooyoung is quick to interject before your apology makes it past the tip of your tongue. “i am going to ask for your hand in marriage. officially”
“what if they banish us from ever seeing each other again?” worry overwhelms you as your breathing quickens
wooyoung gently laces his fingers through yours, bringing up his other hand to cup your face and run his thumb comfortingly over the curve of your cheekbone to keep you grounded
“no matter what happens today, no matter what the outcome is,” he looks at you with the fierce determination of a man ready to give up anything and everything for your sake, “i will never ever stop fighting for you”
he presses his soft lips against yours
“for us,” he vows
your breathing evens out, and while your heartbeat still pounds inside your ribcage, you know that it marches in rhythm with the man in front of you
this time, not afraid to appear in front of the rulers of your kingdoms - your parents - you and wooyoung nod in reassurance at each other once more, hand in hand, before you both push the doors to the throne room open
together.
jongho
pov: you're under his protection as your royal guard
over the din of volunteered names in the meeting room, jongho steps forward
“your majesty, i will accompany the princess,” he declares
“choi jongho?” your father scans him up and down with regard before nodding in approval, “it is decided then”
“him? surely i need another person with me as well?” you protest
your father quirks an eyebrow at you, a subtle reminder that whilst he is your father, he is also the king
“no, you will need to travel in disguise and stay as discreet as possible. only jongho will accompany you as your royal guard”
your father looks away and starts to address the next item on the meeting agenda; it is quite clear there is no room for argument
meanwhile, jongho sidles up to you
“you trying to catch bugs or something? close your mouth, princess,” he teases under his breath
you nudge him with an elbow, “you’re the only bug i see around here”
he rolls his eyes but you both snicker in unison when one of your older sisters turns around to shush you with a dirty look
regardless, you stay silent for the rest of the meeting
you’re not sure why jongho stepped forward to take on this task
because for someone who is your main royal guard and is supposed to be loyal and obedient, he sure makes it clear that his job is about as gratifying as babysitting
(“you can’t talk to me like that. i’m the princess”)
(“no, you’re not. you’re an idiot”)
in fact, when you had been notified a few days prior that you would be traveling with one other royal guard - who had yet to be decided at the time - jongho had spent every single day gloating that he would finally get a break from babysitting you
and yet here he is
with the opportunity to hand you off to somebody else
but instead, baring his teeth at the other guards who offer themselves up for this scouting mission
he would never admit to it either, but jongho personally spoke to the king years ago about being rostered on as your main bodyguard since he’s “known the princess for the longest and so i can protect her the best”
you don’t want to travel to the border
you’re in charge of maintaining security and defense along your borders and with neighbouring kingdoms, usually dealing with complications remotely through the ministers and advisors who work for you
this time though, there has been recent unrest near the southern borders of your kingdom near denport, a city notorious for bandits and fugitives
the situation has worsened with increased risk of bloodshed, thus has the need for you to survey the borders in person
and as the youngest sibling of five, the king has made it very clear that this is your opportunity to prove your capabilities
jongho makes sure to remind you of this fact when you grumble your way through packing a satchel of essential items to take with you
(“your fluffy slippers are not essential, princess”)
(you listen and throw them back onto the floor of your bedchambers, but stuff in a few paperweights when he isn’t looking out of petty revenge because you know he’ll end up carrying your bag for you later when you ask him to)
it’s a relatively long journey to denport, so as soon as you are ready, jongho having long finished packing his own bag, you leave your kingdom with him at your side
by the time the sun is starting to set later that day, you’re passing through a small town
he suggests calling it a night and recuperating at one of the inns
you wait while he inquires about available rooms and then follow him through a small alleyway to the inn that he has chosen for the night
you take all but one look at the rotting wood and creaking sign at the entrance before you are crossing your arms like a petulant child
“there’s no way i’m staying the night in this sorry excuse of an inn”
he merely blinks
“you’re technically not the princess right now so you better listen to me or god help me, i’ll-”
“you’ll what,” you challenge, nose-to-nose
or nose-to-throat, you suppose
but before you can dwell any further on your height difference, jongho picks you up, slings you over his shoulder like you are nothing more than a sack of potatoes, and walks into the inn without a care in the world that you are screaming bloody murder
you resign to your fate and flop uselessly against his back as he carries you up the stairs
instead, when he throws you onto the bed upon entering the room, you look up at him sultrily and smirk, “ooh, now i’m turned on”
jongho shakes his head with exasperation but you don’t miss the redness that is creeping up the back of his neck as he turns around to close the door shut
“wait,” you sit up on the bed, “we’re sharing a room?”
“it’s safer. i’ll sleep on the sofa”
you scrunch your nose at the arrangement, but you do admittedly feel a little more at ease in the unfamiliar room of the inn
you start to take a shoe off before a thought flits through your mind and you point the shoe in your hand at him like a weapon, “you better not snore”
jongho rolls his eyes as he steps forward to take the shoe out of your hand, and then he is bending down to help slip off the shoe from your other foot
a thank you lies on the tip of your tongue
“you’re the only snorer in this room, princess”
nevermind.
it’s gone.
you’re settled in bed, waiting for jongho to finish washing up and turn off the lights, when you spot it
holy shit
your immediate reaction is to seek his protection
“jongho!”
the door to the bathroom swings open almost immediately as he rushes out, eyes alarmed, alert, and zeroing onto you
water drips off the ends of his hair and you can still spot suds on his exposed torso
“what’s wrong? are you okay? are you hurt?” his voice is laced with restrained panic
you point to the corner of the room and then he sees it too
his body stiffens completely
because, mere metres from the two of you, presence sinister and dangerous…
is a fucking spider
all is quiet and still for a while, your eyes flickering back and forth between your royal guard and the spider in a tense standoff
then, just as you are about to speak up, jongho grabs his bag and swiftly turns on his heels to head towards the room’s door
“where are you going?!” you shriek
he looks at you forlornly from over his shoulder, “to prepare for my execution”
“what the fuck are you on about, jongho?”
“for abandoning my duties and failing to protect you. farewell, princess. you are on your own from here-”
his sentence is cut short as the spider scuttles towards him
and that is how you two, disguised, but still a royal princess and royal guard no less, are given an eviction warning because he streaked through the corridors of the inn half naked and screaming at the top of his lungs
needless to say, the innkeeper ends up having to remove the spider for the two of you
“you’re so embarrassing,” you whisper to him once you two are finally settled in bed and on the sofa
“no, i’m jongho,” he cackles
you don’t humour him with a response, but you know he snickers himself to sleep that night
you can’t help but let the corner of your lips tug up as well
a few days later after leaving the town, you two are resting side by side against a tree trunk when you decide to grace jongho with the opportunity to redeem himself
he’s currently halving a sandwich so you two can share
“if i were trapped in a forest full of spiders and you were the only person who could save me,” you ask gravely, “what would you do?”
without missing a beat, he replies, “prepare to grieve your death and make sure your pet cat is well fed in your honour”
he passes you the bigger sandwich as you turn to look at him with the most scandalised expression
“can you at least pretend to think for a bit?” you grumble
there’s a hint of a smile on jongho’s face when he apologises, “okay, sorry. ask me again”
you hit him with a different scenario this time
“if you had to fight a giant spider who had taken me hostage, what would you do?”
he hums thoughtfully for a few seconds, unscrewing a canteen of water for you and placing it by your side
“i would say, she is all yours, your spidery majesty, and then i would bow and walk away”
“fuck you,” you shove him good-naturedly with your shoulder
he swipes the canteen before you can knock it over and presses it into your smaller hand instead, giving it a quick pat as he dismisses your insult, “sure, if you think you can handle my dick”
“like they say,” you waggle your eyebrows at him as your voice drops down lower, “practice makes perfect”
jongho’s stoic facade finally cracks when you lean in closer and he hurries to stand up and put some distance between you and him
he shifts his legs subtly, clearing his throat to say, “we should go, denport is close”
when you’ve finished off the last of your sandwich, you dust off your fingers and grab jongho’s offered hand to stand up too
“let’s go”
one thing you have both noticed is that the closer you get to the border between your kingdom and denport, the quieter and thicker the atmosphere seems to get
the small towns you pass through have less people roaming around; in fact, most people seem to flee back into the refuge of their own houses, locking their doors and closing their windows when they catch sight of your pair
and then it happens
your plan goes awry
you and jongho are harshly awoken by a commotion outside the small room you have rented for the night
there’s a sickening smell accompanied by wails of grief in the air
when you rush outside, all you can see is a huge crowd of people gathered and your ears strain to pick up on the broken hushes of information being thrown around
“his son is lucky to have been spared”
“lucky to have seen his father slaughtered by bandits?”
“i heard it wasn’t money that they were after, though”
“those damned denport devils are up to something”
that’s all you pick up on before jongho snatches your arm and leads you back into the inn, telling you that it’s too dangerous to be out there; too dangerous for you two to continue traveling
which leads to the very first argument you ever have with him
you two butt heads all the time with your own fiery fronts and hardheadedness but more often than not, he yields to you
you’re facing him in the dim room - it is shadier than that first inn you two made a stop at weeks ago, but you’re both sharing one room just like you two have done at every single inn since
“we need to go check it out!” you shout at him
jongho takes a shaky breath as he tries to keep his voice even, “no, we should go back to our kingdom, report on the situation and call for backup!”
you throw your hands up into the air, “we’re already here - we’re basically at denport! what if something blows up soon? it might be too late by the time we go back”
jongho steps in closer as his eyes narrow
you don’t cower because you know he would never hurt you, but you do step backwards because you don’t think you can keep a clear head when he is standing so close to you, proximity dizzying like the buzz of alcohol
“of all times for you to play hero and do something that you weren’t asked to, why now? why put yourself in danger?”
your back hits the wall as jongho corners you
your chest heaves, as does his, both of you overwhelmed with emotions
he holds your gaze but his eyes are rounded with agony and distress
you don’t understand why he is so against your decision
you don’t know what to say, until your eyes flicker down involuntarily at the movement of his lips parting to exhale-
“damn, jongho, your lips are real chapped. you should use some of my lip balm”
he blinks hard at the absurdity of what you chose to say
he looks at your lips
he makes a decision
“then give me some of yours,” he says, a little breathless
and then he’s pressing his chapped lips against your smooth ones, the taste of coconut filling your mouth as your lip balm smears
suddenly, he pulls back with the audacity to look shocked as if you are the one who kissed him
and then he leaves the room without another word
he doesn’t return that night and you don’t manage to sleep either
you wonder when you started becoming used to falling asleep with him in the same room
jongho clears his throat awkwardly when you open the door in the morning and find him leaning against the wall just by the doorframe
you’re not sure whether he came back not too long ago from god knows where, or whether he was actually standing guard outside all night
you think you know which one it is, even if he doesn’t confirm it
“we’re checking out,” he mumbles, shuffling briskly into the room to grab his few belongings he had left and exiting the room again with you trailing behind
neither of you say much more to each other
you think that he’s going to lead you back the way you two came, lead you back and undo the weeks’ worth of journeying and go back to the castle
but then he’s sighing, deep and burdened, and he gently takes your hand to continue on towards denport
he’s never held your hand before
not like this, at least, tenderly tugging you along with every step so that you are no more than a few inches away from his side
you want to bicker with him and chortle together like usual but you keep quiet, giving him the space that he appears to need even if he is physically ensuring you are tucked right into his side
you two walk until the sun has dipped below the horizon
from what you know, you are right along the southern border and denport will only be another half day’s walk away
jongho makes a small bonfire before he joins you to lean against a fallen log
he shimmies off his coat and drapes it over your legs and then the forest also settles into silence along with you both
it’s now or never
“why are you so against us going to the border?” you ask him
he runs his fingers through his hair
an unruly tuft of hair stays upright and you fold your arms to stop yourself from reaching out and smoothening it for him
he looks at you as he says, “i’m fine with me going to the border, it’s you i’m not fine with. you do remember that i’m your royal guard, right”
“is that all there is to your reason,” you push, “that you’re my guard?”
you both know you’re referring to more than just the argument itself
jongho’s gaze breaks away, looking ahead at the flames of the fire instead
he is silent
for once, jongho is unarmed; no immediate snark or teasing remark to toss back at you
you hear him swallow and take a breath
“i…i don’t know,” he starts. “all i know is that with each passing day, the more i want to keep you safe”
jongho looks at you again, eyebrows drawn down ever so slightly
“why do you make me feel so worried?”
at his words, your heart clenches in an unfamiliar way and you attempt to lighten the mood, “maybe you like me”
“maybe i do”
oh.
with the reflection of the fire dancing in his eyes, it almost looks as though he is about to cry
“please, don’t go to the border, princess,” he begs softly
his plea remains unwavering and you find your heart doing the exact opposite
after a few seconds of silence, you say
“okay, jongho. i won’t”
the tension from his shoulders seeps out and he gently tugs you towards him so he can tuck you into his side once again
“you promise that we turn around and go back tomorrow morning?”
you nod against the warmth of the crook of his neck, then murmur, “do you think father will be disappointed in me? for returning?”
he rubs a hand up and down your arm soothingly
“of course not, princess. you’ve already done so much more than you needed to. he’ll be proud of you”
and then he adds on, “just like i’m proud of you”
this is the first time anyone has ever really validated your efforts; being the youngest of a large family means you are often overshadowed
caught off guard, all you can do is whisper out, “thank you, jongho”
he hums and you feel his smile against the crown of your head
you’ve never been drunk before, but you think that this is the closest you have ever gotten
you are intoxicated by him
“if you’re thankful,” the rumble of jongho’s voice against your cheek is pleasant, “can i ask for something?”
“whatever you want”
he eases you from the comfort of his neck and tilts your chin up slightly with a finger, cheeky grin plastered across his face
“can i have some more of your lip balm?”
#loren writes#ateez fics#ateez smut#ateez x reader#san x reader#san smut#san scenarios#mingi x reader#mingi scenarios#wooyoung x reader#wooyoung scenarios#jongho x reader#jongho scenarios#ateez ot8 x reader#ateez fluff#ateez angst#ateez crack#ateez scenarios#ateez imagines#ateez headcanons#ateez au#royal ateez#prince ateez#prince!ateez
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kotobuki “notes” aka slightly edited reaction thread
HYUUGA IS SO CUTE
i literally forgot i couldn't shout after he said (”remember aruji, you cant shout during this era” “haii-”)
URASHIMA IS SO CUTE
almost cried when they bowed over how cute they were
almost cried at seeing mikazuki again, mario was so beautiful
it took me a While to even notice the face shields, im surprised
im really glad that they confirmed the ones who werent there (or horikawa at the very least) were on an expedition :-)
mutsunokami casually dropping an i love you to yasusada like SO TRUE of course he would!!!!!
ookurikara in kazaguruma was so GUTTING god damn his face.....
legit Fear when i heard the sound of those geese before yume no ato
and akashi and kotegiri and matsui in yume no ato make so much Sense
muramasa absolutely would be telling everyone to strip if he were rn yes :-)
and the way even tho muramasa wasnt there in person he was there in Spirit bc everyone was pestering ookurikara about him anyway lmaoo
its so weird when hizamaru is in a position very clearly intended for muramasa w
everyone making excuses to get out of kotegiri’s practice :(
so ig he?? just imagine buzen kuwana and matsui joining him? lol
AND THEN THEY DID
i actually cried. theyre so good together!!!
and matsui joining in bc buzen is. he would be so uncertain without buzen here :(
and buzen offering kotegiri to lie on his lap :’)
my stream dropped out but the subtitles were still running and i could tell it was urashima and my Desperation to reload was so great i started crying again
and then like Begging hachisuka to Please please please please go fishing with them.... nagasone wants to but he wouldnt if hachisuka wouldnt let him.......
THE KOTETSU BROTHERS ARE SO GOOD
and urashima saying he’ll be stronger than his brothers one day and hachisuka and nagasone being proud of him!!!!!
koyoshi....
yasusada and kiyomitsu’s song made me cry even MORE
"in reality it just wants to be loved" literally made me clutch the wall for support
like theyre So much. theyre so much. just the. just THE
“theres a cat that is you / theres a cat thats you too / and he SUCKS / and HE sucks too!!! / but they just want to cuddle together”
^ Heavily heavily paraphrased but thats what i got from it :-)
like thats so insane.
mikazuki's new eyelashes make him look so sad
kurumu and mario sound so good together
hachisuka’s suit really really suits him
the past shows on the screens behind and the comparison between them now and when they first appeared made me cry again like theyve grown so much in five years!!! and as someone whos watched all the shows in order up til now (skipping bakuten20 for the moment) that really hit so hard for me
spi was SO insane
god he looked so good and then he did some breakdancing as well?? like tonbo killed me a Disproportionate number of times to how much i go out of my way to pay attention to him
additional times hisashiburi
akashi and matsui in can you guess what is SO UNFAIR. my non mihotose oshi?? in a mihotose song???
that grouping of mikazuki tsurumaru and kuwana is very strange no
like yesterday with utaawase i feel like shinsengumi + hachisuka got loads of nibu songs while i think mutsunokami and kogitsunemaru and otegine maybe were a little neglected
that being said dare no mono ga demo nai jinsei without tomoe was strange but hachisuka (who i was staring at for all of it) killed it so whatever
s in the timeline frames....
otegine and his braces.....
YARUKI GENKI KUNIYUKI!!
matsui's dialect slipped out a little i think :’)
who knew akashi’s legs can go that high jesus christ
when everyone lay down like akashi why did matsui clasp his hands together on his stomach like a dead body.
ookurikara: i can do this on my own
everyone: ok bye
ookurikara: wait what.
i was gonna say i didnt think ookurikara wouldnt suit a bowtie like the others so i was glad when i noticed he had a regular black tie like his mihotose19 nibu
ALSO i think if nikkari were here hed have one of those ribbon ones with a pin like hizamaru or just a regular tie like ookurikara
tsurumaru kashuu utsukushii higeki insane
myu at this point had five wakizashi and two tantou and somehow only two wakizashi and one tantou were here. so like hyuuga was taking over from kotegiri for wakizashi mc duty while he was with the other gous
gou danzen good
hizamaru jounetsu no symphonia jesus Christ
like i will always favour the original version of a song and jounetsu no symphonia is from tanki17 which was My First Myu so kashuu’s version really does have a special place in my heart but Jesus Christ Hizamaru
(also hizamaru joins chair-gumi)
since today was hizamaru with his version of jounetsu no symphonia i wonder what tomorrow with muramasa will be. blackout? that would be nice
yasukiyo in this were so insane.
yasusada every time he has a long stick has the urge to wrap one leg around it. (utsukushiki hibi yo, the mic stand in scarlet lips)
urashima doing horikawa replacement duty in scarlet lips too :’)
actually i quite liked what they did with the formations for the swords who were missing. like i can generally Sort Of See why they chose that sword to replace them
yeah after seeing scarlet lips i Do Understand why people kept saying they want to be a microphone bc My God.
the yari kemono lightsticks were so cool!!!
I DIDNT KNOW there would be messages from the missing swords so when monoyoshi-kun appeared i Instantly burst into tears and then cried even harder when nikkari came on after him
he looked so good too meccha meccha nikkari :sob::sob:
he Just. looked really happy.
in universe id like to think he sent that message just before he left on his journey and he was really settled and happy with his decision to request it (before all that Shit happened on the way)
out of universe of course araki was probably at tanki rehearsals
dude i genuinely do love that the ones who were missing were either on their journeys or on expeditions
mikazuki and ryo as kogitsunemaru FINALLY getting to sing that song to make up for atsukashiyama18 !!!!!!!!!
the karaoke for touken ranbu kotobuki ver? lol what
i do like the individual lines for each formation and then there was one for the starters too :’)
hizamaru going wait. is anija in the audience.
and hizamaru’s Powerful haiku
mario telling akira to come with him and then hes like no you use THAT door and akira like :T amd following him anyway
almost cried at tomoe’s message it was like he DIED
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omg this sounds like so much fun pls ship me
im a gender apathetic 5'0 intp and aquarius, im usually pretty quiet and awkward when i first meet someone (unless im w my friends) but once i get closer with someone im basically the chaotic evil fight causing funny friend, im really mean to my friends but i dont mean it most of the time, and i always do dumbass shit without thinking or caring about the consequences, i also have adhd which is the main source of most of my hyperness lmao, i have bad trust issues tho and i get nervous that my s/o or even my friends sometimes will drop me and find someone else, and i also am very insecure about my body and have had a past of eating disorders (i am getting better w the ed part tho dont worry) and im very physically affectionate with my friends and even more so with my s/o, i honestly dont have many hobbies and i mainly either just hang out w my friends or go on my phone after school, im also pretty bad at communication and talking abt serious stuff with my s/o, but if they start the convo abt it then it usually will go fine
i just realized i wrote so much sorry lmaoo
The man who fell in love with you understands your trust issues.
One time he cried so hard he desperately needed some tissues.
Your hyperness is up to par against his.
He's that sweet boy---
Kalim Al Asim!
(image: Kalim Al Asim Tomonui.)
Kalim isn't reliable even though he tries. For you he will try to be more serious. He finds out you're insecure about yourself so he tries to cheer you up by inviting to his many parties or have private magic carpet rides, though half the time you two end up crashing in the sand or the oasis, but when you two don't crash it would be quite romantic! Kalim loves your playfulness and how spontaneous you can be, so whatever you do he will follow, and vice versa. He is convinced that you are his second half because how so alike you are. When you are sad he saddens him that you don't talk about your feelings for him, but it doesn't mean he doesn't understand. He wouldn't pry so Kalim would sit next to you and talk about mundane things.
Usually he would hold you close and sing, "♬♫♪I can show you the world. Shining, shimmering, splendid~!♪♫♬"
Was he good at singing, debatable. But it was sweet that he does that for you. Kalim's embrace is warm and strong, he wants to make sure you feel safe. He wouldn't want to leave your side, so please rely on him. He cares for you a lot, so all he asks is for you to trust him.
"'Do you trust me?' A poor boy from long ago asked that to a princess he fell in love with. I'll ask you the same thing... Do you trust me? Please say yes."
#mellowshipsyuu#mellowshipsu#mellowshipsyou#twisted wonderland#anonship#twst#twisted oc#oc x canon#kalim al asim#kalim x you#kalim x mc#twst kalim#twisted wonderland kalim
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as someone who read your fics before you rewrote them, i do love the way you write now as it has a certain level of maturity that wasn't present before (which is saying a lot, because i remember being so shocked that you were a baby millennial/gen z when i first discovered your fics when you were...what... 18??) buttttt i will say i miss the originals only because it invokes nostalgia!! i used to come back to them every once in a while, and i'd remember where i was at that time when i first read them, and it's a little sad to not have that anymore. but anyway, i really do love your writing, and i can't wait to see what else you publish!!! have a nice day beloved ✨✨
i totally get what u mean cuz obviously i have to reread my old fics to rewrite them and i'm always filled with memories..... some make me cringe bcs why would people let me get away with writing some of the things i wrote 😑 but then i have a small appreciation for it bcs she was just a baby doing her best and genuinely enjoying the process of writing.
i do remember when people used to be shocked about my age lmaoo that was so funny bcs my posts were always like "kyungsoo i'm desperate for the tiniest crumb of cawk plsss let me peg you" and like.... none of that sounded mature at all ahsjahskwkesj
also i'm kinda grinning from ear to ear reading this 😭 it brightened my day a bit cuz i lowkey fell off so it's nice to know that people still care about my silly little fics 🤧
#remember when everyone thought i was funny and talented omgggggg#i was just very unhinged with no filter whatsoever but now i'm grown and i keep my unclassy thoughts on my private twt LMAOOOOO
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Breathe in. Breathe out.
Just a little drabble I wrote of my LMK OC. Just a little bit of her backstory sprinkled along with her being just.. an angry person in defense. She literally runs on anger on the surface LMAOO if she feels hurt, sad, lonely, anything that makes her feel terrible, it gets converted to anger.
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“Run. You hear me? Run, and you don’t look back. Not even for me”
“B-but-”
“I need you to promise me.”
“O-”
“Go. GO!!”
Yunwen snapped awake in her bed, sitting up quickly with her back as straight as a rod, sweat beading down her face. Her breathing came out erratic, air leaving and entering her breath at an irregular pace, as she lifted her hand to rub away her sweat. She could hear her heart thundering in her ears with a high-pitched ringing in the background, every other sound muffled under the beat of her own body. It took her a good minute before she could finally let out a heavy sigh, rubbing her face with her hand as she began to settle back into her regular calm.
“That nightmare again…” She mumbled out in an exasperated tone.
How many years has it been? 5? 10? No… 23. It's been 23 years. Her mind felt like there were pins and needles embedded in her brain– a desperate attempt to wipe that memory from her mind. To wipe the haunting screams of her mother that echoed to this day. Even now, even in her clean and safe room, she could feel the smoke entering and clogging her lungs, constricting her windpipe like the vice grip of a smoky hand.
Deep breath in. Deep breath out.
With a quiet groan, she threw her legs over her bed. What she knew she needed right now was a nice glass of cold water. Plus a splash of water in her face. And so, she stumbled out of her room with her hand supporting her head, her thumb harshly rubbing her temple as she tried to clear her conflicted and foggy space of a mind. She had to remind herself over and over that it was the past. She couldn’t have done anything about it. She was only a child.
Breath in.
Within a minute, she was in her kitchen, grabbing a glass of water and chugging it. With her thirst quenched and her throat soothed from the chill of the water, she let out a sigh and leaned over the sink, her lower back arched inwards as her elbows rested on the counter. She stared out the dark window, looking out at the bright streets of Megapolis. There was no fire. No smoke in the distance. Other than factories, places that have chimneys, anything like that. But there was no fire. No destruction.
Breath out.
Slowly, she began to focus on her faded reflection in the window, the city in the background blurring out of focus. She gazed at her disheveled appearance: her fear-ridden jade-colored eyes, her messy bird's nest of hair, her sagging eyebags from nights of nightmares. Wow. She looked like shit to put it simply. With a sigh, she began to comb her fingers through her hair, pulling apart the tangles and knots as her fingers slid through the locks of hair. Honestly, she really didn’t know why she was cleaning her hair up, especially when she was only going to go back to sleep in less than an hour. But she found the action of combing her fingers through her hair, the slight pain from the tugs of her hair, feeling her silky black hair curl around her fingers, soothing. It was grounding, telling her that she was here. She was here, in this moment, not the past.
After a few minutes of idly combing through her hair, she felt an increase in warmth – coziness that immediately made her body relax – causing her to look up. She saw, in the dark reflection of the window, the transparent figure of a fenghuang, its wings wrapped around her body. It looked like a hologram–its presence flickering in and out of existence while also appearing transparent – but it was real enough for her to feel the heat from it. She let out a small huff, a small smile rising to her face as her eyes slipped shut.
One more breath in
She personally found it funny that she had so many people around her, friends, foster family, regular customers, new customers, coworkers, yet the only comfort she could find was in something that existed within her, within her blood. She couldn’t even comfort herself. She could tell herself that it wasn’t her fault, that she was just a child, but she couldn’t believe her own words. She could tell herself she was okay, that she wasn’t affected by her past anymore, but she knew that wasn’t true. Who… who could just walk on, move on, when they watched their family, their clan, get slaughtered?
The warmth that encased her body grew in the slightest, spreading over her body like how the light casts away the darkness, stopping her mind from its rapid descent. Technically, yeah, the fenghuang was part of herself, so she was technically comforting herself. But… she liked to think of it as something else, someone. She liked to think of it as an actual separate living being, rather than something just part of her. She’d rather think of it as her mother hugging her one more time
Last breathe out
Her eyes slowly opened, settling on her reflection once again. The fear in her eyes was gone, replaced with a longing fire, a rage that couldn’t be silenced. The ghost of the fenghuang was gone now, but she could still feel its lingering warmth, encapsulating her in a protective barrier of safety and comfort. Or was that what she wanted to believe?
But never mind what she wanted to believe. It's not like it mattered anyway
With newfound resolve–her emotions muffled and smothered by the anger Yunwen created within herself–she finally stood up straight and stretched out her limbs, hearing and feeling her joints crack and pop, sending jolts of satisfaction and relief from her arms to her toes, followed by her fatigue finally setting in. She took one last glance at her reflection, gazing at her anger-driven expression, feeling an emotion so close to hate flow through her body. Yet she remained blind to the true reality of it all. She didn’t linger on her gaze for long.
Deep breath in. Deep breath out.
One more time.
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Probably going to go do a drabble with her and another LMK character just being little friends. Or little enemies. Either one works for my motivation.
#lmk#lmk oc#oc#my ocs#female oc#lego monkie kid oc#writing#drabble#angst#To simply say she hates celestials. For the reason... I shall not say.#I've been brainrotting over her.. just a teensy bit. ANYWAYS-
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we did it lads. another day with no girlfriend 🙃
#heavy yearning rn#i just wanna cuddle with a girl i dont ask for much#and yet here i am#continuing to be painfully single#lmaoo this just makes me sounds sad and desperate#which is true but like do i need to post it? no. am i gonna? absolutely.
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swim
Spencer Reid x Reader
Warnings; smut, unprotected sex, semi-public sex, degradation, light choking, creampies, slight thigh riding
Synopsis; during a night out with your friends you spot a tall man in a dark suit with an even darker look in his eyes
a/n; this is literally just smut with very little plot lmaoo uhh i’ve been struggling in my smut writing/writing in general so here’s this, hope its not completely trash and you enjoy!
fic inspired by swim by chase atlantic, bc god knows i can't write anything original sdhfdh
***
It was 10 o’clock when your girlfriends rounded you up for a night out, hopefully full of sweet drinks and good company. By 11:30 you were happily buzzed and the feelings of warm bodies around you brought a heat to your lower stomach. Maybe tonight you’d go home with someone, wake up the next morning with that delicious sense of soreness between your legs. The only task at hand was finding a companion.
Once the current song ended you walked over to the bar grabbing a water and taking a seat next to your friends.
“How are the prospects lookin tonight y/n/n?” Jessica, the short brunette you’d known for years asked. Being around her had rubbed some of her boldness onto you. Hopefully that could make an appearance tonight.
“No luck so far,” you sighed “but my eyes are wide open.” You brought the straw to your lips, gulping down the cool water as you looked around the dimly lit room.
“Woah check out suit and tie over there. He’s been checking you out for a while,” chimed Erika. While she has happily taken, that didn’t stop her from going out with you guys and pushing you into random laps.
You looked up to see the darkest pair of brown eyes on yours. Maybe it was the lighting but here was something in them. Lust perhaps? His eyes travelled down your frame as you stood up. The tight lilac dress you had on hugging each of your curves perfectly.
"I'm gonna get some air, let me know if you guys wanna head out," you said never letting your eyes drift away from the handsome stranger a few feet away.
Once outside you let your back hit the brick wall. The music from the building could be felt vibrating through the cracks. You looked up seeing the stars barley visible through the city lights.
"Contrary to popular belief you can never see millions of stars, they simply aren't close and bright enough. On a really exceptional night, with no moon and far from any source of lights, a person with very good eyesight may be able to see 2000-2500 stars at any one time."
You turned to see the same man from inside. He was gorgeous, a light stubble grazing his cheeks, long hair falling past his ears. He was a lot taller than you had thought probably taller than 6'0 but all that made you think about was him towering over you.
"Did you make that up off the top of your head? Or do you approach all your conquests with astronomy facts?"
"That depends do you usually let strange men corner you behind bars or am I just special?" he said walking closer to where you stood.
"Touche Mr."
"Doctor actually."
There was a brief pause where you both let out a giggle. The dark eyes from before seemed lighter and you cold almost make out a blush on his cheeks. The lack of alcohol on his breath told you it was from the conversation, though there was nothing to be flushed about yet.
“But seriously a pretty girl walking out to a back alley late at night is just a recipe for disaster,” he finished scanning both ends.
“Well do you plan on hurting me doctor?" you said coyly. You did you best to flutter your lashes looking up at him.
"Is that what you want?" he said letting one of his hands tuck a stray piece of hair behind your ear. That same hand ended up resting loosely around you neck making you gulp.
"Yes," you breathed out, "please doctor."
He wasted no time in crashing his lips to yours. You moaned into his mouth as he slid his thigh in between your own. His unoccupied hand went down to your hip, slowly guiding the pace of your frantic rutting.
Your lips parted as your head tilted back onto the brick wall. A symphony of whimpers leaving your mouth.
"Look how desperate you are for me. I haven't even done anything and you're already such a mess," he said leaving wet kisses, cooling on your scorching neck.
"Oh fuck doctor," you said clinging onto his arms, "need y'to fuck."
The power he had over you turned your brain to mush. It was sad how quickly he had you melted in the palm of hand without even doing much but kissing. At this point you didn't even care. The only thought swimming in your head was having him inside you.
A pout formed on your lips as his hands dropped from your frame. However it was quickly wiped away as you heard the familiar sound of a belt unbuckling.
"Is this what you needed baby? You need my cock to stretch you out?" he said pulling your hips closer to his.
You looked up at him for permission before you reached forward to pump your hand along his shaft. He lifted your right leg, hooking it over his arm as he pulled the thin material separating the both of you to the side.
Guiding his length to your glistening folds was a sight you'd want engraved in your brain forever. The first intrusion of his fat tip in your tight hole had you mewling a mix of curses and his title.
All you could do was wrap your arms around his neck and hold on for dear life as his thrusts gained speed. The sound of your skin slapping luckily wouldn't have been heard through the door with the loud music playing inside. But anyone who walked by the alley or decided it was time for a breath of air would surly be in for a show.
"Fuck you're such a good little whore for me," he said gruffly against the skin of your shoulder, "letting me fuck you out here where anyone could see."
Your pussy clenched at his words and your moans amplified as he continued to pound into you. The curve of his cock hitting the spot inside of you that had you seeing all the stars in the sky contrary to what he said before.
"More doctor! Please wanna cum," you whined.
He made a noise of disapproval before pushing you back farther into the wall. At this point you and the red bricks were one. You were sure to have crescent marks on how hard he was holding up your thigh.
"Greedy little whore aren't you," he gritted out, "You take whatever I wanna give you."
"Please I need it! Need t'cum please please please," you rushed out bucking your hips to meet each one of his thrusts.
His hold on your hip got tighter as he started drilling into you. You could feel his heavy breathes on your shoulder and the way his cock was throbbing inside you ready to fill you up.
Your mind was dizzy. It felt like you were in a bubble of him, the scent of his cologne trapped in your senses. Your nerves were on fire, any pressure on your neglected bud would be sure to set you off.
It was as if the gods had answered your prayers when he spoke, "I can feel you clenching around me baby. Go ahead and touch yourself for me," he rasped out.
Reaching between yourself you felt the slippery mess where you both connected and started rubbing at your stiff clit. Your fingers sent lighting strikes through your body, breaking the damn that was building in your lower tummy.
"Gonna cum! I'm oh god cumming doctor," you all but yelled out. If people walking around the corner were unaware of the spectacle they sure would be now.
"That's it.. such a good girl."
Your arms around his neck let up as you pulled him in for a sloppy kiss. His lips swallowing the moans you let out as he helped you ride out your orgasm.
"Where do you want-," he tried to speak out but you cut him off.
"Inside," you begged, "Need to feel you cum inside." His thrusts turned frantic as you spoke against his lips. Pleading for hum to fill you to the brim with his seed.
You sighed as you finally felt the warm liquid coat your walls, his thrusts continuing to pump into you.
He pulled out stepping back to watch the creamy mess spill down your center before be swiped it away with his fingers, bringing them up to your awaiting mouth.
Happily you took his fingers in your mouth, moaning around them at the salty taste of your mixed release. You looked up at him keeping your gaze on the sliver of brown around his dilated pupils.
_
Walking back into the bar Jessica and Erika's eyes nearly popped out of their heads as they took in the limp in your walk and your disheveled hair.
"You whore!," Erika screamed out greeting you with pats on the shoulder.
"Shut up," you said looking down feeling the heat rising to your cheeks.
Jessica giggled handing you her compact mirror, "Yeah I bet we're not the only ones who called her that," she finished with a raise of her brow.
Looking back up across the bar you saw the same dark eyes from before staring at you with a smug smile, proud how much of mess he left you in. If the little business card tucked in your bra told you anything, it was that the stunt from outside would be far from the last.
#spencer reid smut#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds smut#mgg x reader#mgg smut#matthew gray gubler x reader#matthew gray gubler smut#spencer reid fanfiction#chellewrites
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it's never too late... | b. jacob
🏀 pairing: crush! basketball player! jacob x fem!reader
🏀 genre: high school!au, fluff, (sort of) strangers/acquaintances-to-lovers
🏀 word count: 5.2k
🏀 tw: very cliché 😳 and it goes kinda fast lmaoo
🏀 a/n: lisa I'm sorry I took this long to do your request, but I hope you'll like it nonetheless!! ALSO: to my fellow Americans, here football = soccer!!
🏀 requested: yes! thank you lisa!! @skrtbabe
╰☆☆☆☆╮
You had waited for this time since the beginning of your academic journey there. Graduating from high school was two months away, and it felt just as exciting as weird.
It felt like you had started your first year last week, but the amount of work and time spent in those dull buildings makes you feel like you’ve been there for at least five years.
It was exhausting to attend classes and see the same people every single day of the year, with repetitive subjects, annoying or cool teachers depending on your luck and everything that followed. The homework, the assignments, the small -or not so small- fights between classes or groups of people, you were praying that university wouldn’t sound like that.
However, at the same time, you were almost starting to feel nostalgic for this time. The last years where you could remain a bit silly before entering the adult world, being in your last teen years with people that you appreciated and met there. You chose to do this before letting them go and live your own lives, memories that will disappear if you don’t cherish them enough.
So, with Soyeon, your best friend, you decided to enjoy the time that you had left to do things together while still studying and revising for the exams, which was sometimes not easy to do. Yes, you shared classes, but personal and private activities sometimes came in the way and prevented you from hanging out.
“It’s life after all,” she said one night over the phone as you shared your opinion on this topic, “it’s good that we can be together almost 24/7, but sometimes, things don’t allow us to be together. It might be for the best, we never know,” she said, trying to be positive no matter the situation she was in, but you knew her well. As much as she wants to appear strong, you had found her many times crying on her own. But it was her personality, and no matter how hard you tried to change her, what's bred in the bone comes out in the flesh.
Soyeon wasn’t your only friend, you were getting along well with most of your girl classmates, as well as the boys that weren’t suffocating under the number of pick-me-girls that were populating your school and your class.
Sadly for you, you’ve been eyeing the most popular (and prettiest) boy in your whole school since you crossed gaze with him at the very beginning of your first year there. Jacob, your crush, was also the star basketball player of your school, and constantly surrounded and attracting cheerleaders or rich, random, good-looking girls, which had a knack for getting on your nerves. He was always spending time together with his pals and teammates, but other people as well. Everyone wanted to be his friend because you know, he had a promising career ahead of him, so it was always nice to be friends with a potential future celebrity.
As defeated as you were, there was still a small voice in your head telling you to do something before he left to go back to his home country, South Korea, where he had a career already planned and traced out.
You were confused as it was almost impossible for you to get a chance with him since you were not one of those girls and you simply couldn’t compete against them, but Soyeon and her boyfriend Sunwoo were always there to praise you and reassure you about your potential chances of dating him. Never convinced by your friends’ words, you had tried many times to get him out of your head and focus on someone else, but it never worked. Everything came back to him. He was unique and oh so nice, everything reminded you of him, and it was sickening at this point.
“He won't get out of my head, it’s getting on my nerves,” you shared your thoughts to your best friend as you braced your head in your hands, slapping your cheeks as if it were going to change anything and help you throw Jacob out of your brain.
“Why do I keep this stupid boy in my head when I know I don’t stand a single chance against those girls,” you slapped your cheeks harder and whined as Soyeon’s hand landed on your wrist.
“Y/N, stop your nonsense. You are perfect, you don’t need to change anything for him!”
“It’s easier said than done, you pulled the football star player!” you exclaimed, and she rolled her eyes, shifting closer to whisper.
“He pulled me because he knew that I am pretty, and that wouldn’t change a single thing for him. If he’s not happy with who I am, he can leave,” she shrugs, signalling you to do the same if you dated Jacob.
Sunwoo was also among the popular boys, but your friend remained the same, not even trying to fit in with the popular girls. She claimed that Sunwoo fell in love with her for her true self, so she didn’t see the point of changing to please other people. And you wished you had her confidence and her strength, admiring her for not changing anything about herself to please others.
Back to the present.
You felt stuck, desperately in love with an unapproachable boy who was too popular and way out of your league to be lucky to have his eyes sparing you any sort of attention. Even if he was a sweet young man, he was always surrounded by popular people, who were trying to hook up or use him for his school fame and sharp features.
One day, while studying with your best friend at the library, Sunwoo and one of his friends, Hyunjae, the football captain, burst into the library and come not so quietly to your table.
“For the love of God, can you both be quiet for once?” Soyeon whispered-yelled but her voice got toned down by Sunwoo vividly pressing his lips on hers, an arm wrapping around her shoulders. Hyunjae laughed but quickly gagged as they didn’t stop the kiss as quickly as the captain wished.
“Gosh, please, get a room,” he mumbled before hugging you, your knee resting against his as his arms pressed you against his chest.
Your friendship with Hyunjae felt more like siblings, he was genuinely nice and caring with you, making sure that you were okay and that you had enough of everything before allowing you to go home. Despite all the teasing and a few rumours going around school, you were not dating and didn’t have any romantic feelings for each other. He simply checked that you had an older brother figure since you were the first-born child, and it felt relieving.
The thing you did not know was that Jacob and a few of his basketball teammates, Juyeon, Eric and Younghoon, were a few tables away from yours, your back facing them, the future star looking at you and Hyunjae from the corner of his eyes. He nodded at his friend at your table, who gave him a wink as an answer, Jacob’s eyes burning holes into your back as Hyunjae was close to you. Too close to you for the basketball player not to feel something churn in his stomach.
Two long, manicured fingers snapped in front of his eyes to get him out of his reverie, lazily looking at the girl that sat across from him, who he was supposed to get help from.
“Jacob please, pay attention to meeeeee,” she whined and pouted, giving him puppy eyes that he couldn’t give a single fuck about, too busy in his mind to hear what she had to say.
She had volunteered to help him study History, but she wasn’t any better, probably worse than he was. It was already the third time Juyeon corrected her basic knowledge without being an expert himself, not even caring about the death glares she kept sending him. It only made him smirk as he knew it irked her dearly yet amused the rest of the table a lot.
They all sighed as she finally took the hint and left their table, Jacob bitterly chuckling as Hyunjae rolled his eyes when she walked past your table, his demeanour making you laugh.
╰☆╮
“Bro, do you think I should ask Y/N for help? Isn’t that a bit… lame?” Jacob sat on one of the soccer balls, hands joined and panting as Sunwoo practised his dribbling skills before shooting the ball in the cages, aiming for the up-right corner. He trotted to his friend and collapsed on the grass next to him, the last rays of sunshine offering his skin a wonderful, honey glow. He ruffled his hair after plopping down, checking his phone for any message before answering.
“If you need help, you shouldn’t be afraid to ask her. I mean, she’s super smart in every subject, but she’s just the boss in History. Her presentations are always golden, and she explains things a lot better than some of the teachers.”
“I got Smith as a teacher,” the basketball player grimaced, his left hand holding his right wrist as his gaze wandered in the grass.
“We’ve got Antal, and I can tell you that she’s always mad when Y/N does a presentation because they honestly just sound better than her lessons,” Sunwoo chuckled as Jacob pondered his friend’s words, the gears of his mind working at full speed.
How is he going to be able to approach you and get to talk to you?
╰☆╮
“Bestie, no. I swear I saw that in the other book,” you said as you found yourself back in the library the following week, bending over the table to grab the book your best friend was resting hers on. You started flipping some pages when a loud, masculine chortle followed by some whispers of annoyance drawing your attention.
“Hi, babe! Hi Hyunj- Oh hi Jacob!” your neck almost snapped as you abruptly lifted your head up at the mention of your crush’s name, a small, embarrassed smile making its way on your mouth. You were a bit sad that your brother best friend was not here with Sunwoo, but you weren’t going to complain to have your crush instead.
“Can I sit here?” the basketball player asked in a soft voice while pointing at the empty spot next to you, making you quickly nod and gather your stuff to make him some space.
You resumed searching for the precious paragraph you were searching for your project as if it were nothing, trying to ignore your stammering heart in your chest and the couple eating each other's mouths. The only thing you hoped was that Jacob couldn’t hear the loud, irregular beats in your ribcage because it would give in your attraction to him.
“Hum, Y/N?” the voice next to you made you flinch, surprised that he knew your name and that he said it aloud.
“Y-Yes?” you said, cursing in your head as you stuttered.
“I heard that you were the Ace when it came to History,” Jacob started, and you couldn’t look at him in the eyes, fire spreading in your chest up to your face.
“I can’t really say that I’m the Ace, but I really love that subject, so yeah I have some… knowledge,” words tripped over your tongue, and your best friend pulled away from Sunwoo and scoffed.
“Some knowledge? Are you kidding?” she said, Sunwoo placing a hand on her mouth as she was louder than intended. She removed his palm and furrowed her brows at him, before turning her head back at you with the same angry expression.
“She knows so fucking much that Antal hates her because she feels humiliated compared to Y/N. So let me tell you one thing, Cobbie, if you need help, you’ve come to the right person. Y/N is just a living encyclopaedia,” your best friend proudly smirked as you glowered at her, Sunwoo chuckling at his girlfriend’s behaviour before immediately stopping.
“Wait, did you call him Cobbie? How come you call him like that when I get nothing other than babe or baby?” Sunwoo argued while pouting, and your best friend sighed, ruffling his hair before pressing her lips against his one more time, making you slightly grimace as envy flooded your veins.
You sighed and dared to look at Jacob, who was reading the beginning of your essay written on your computer, leaving Sunwoo and your best friend bicker like the cute couple they were.
“Do you have this project too?” you asked, and he shook his head, eyes remaining glued on the computer screen.
“It’s so interesting what you wrote, I like your way of writing and explaining stuff,” he offered a small smile as he looked at you, clearing his throat. For someone that was super popular and constantly surrounded by friends or people at parties, he behaved and sounded quite like an introvert.
“W-Well, thank you,” you said with a smile and turned your head to the side for a second, taking a deep breath before looking back at him, opening a new tab on your computer after he gestured to you that he was done reading.
“What do you need help with?”
╰☆╮
You were astonished at how quick-minded Jacob was. Behind his fit, muscular appearance and obsession with basketball, he had the soul of a thinker and grasped the knowledge of historical concepts quite easily and rapidly. He just wasn’t good with the way Smith was teaching, the method not suiting him.
“You retain things well for someone who hates History,” you joked, and he shyly smiled, scratching his neck. His smile looked gorgeous, and you were pleasantly surprised at how much of a genuine person he was.
“Well, History is not my cup of tea, but it might be a bit more thanks to you,” he said, and you tried to stifle a smile, thankful that your best friend was no longer sitting across from you because she wouldn’t have let you two live.
“It’s nothing. You can come back to me if you need help, I really don’t mind. I actually like explaining things,” you said, and he nodded, clicking your pen close before placing it in your pouch.
“Thank you, really. Sunwoo was actually the one that told me about you, so I have to thank him as well,” you stood up and slowly started to pack your stuff, shutting down your computer with a smile.
“I’m glad he did so, I just hope it was positive,” you giggled, and he quickly joined you, twirling his pen in between his fingers as he cleared his throat.
“You know, it’s Sunwoo. It can only be nice and positive,” you genuinely smiled at him and fall in silence, throwing glances at each other from time to time as the conversation was slowly starting to die down.
“And... How’s basketball going by the way? Is everything going well?” you asked, and his heart skipped a beat at your question as it took him off guard.
“I-It’s going pretty well, I’m excited to finish high school to be able to focus on basketball. I’m gonna have to take some of my last finals in South Korea because the season and the training start pretty early in Summer so…” his voice trailed as his eyes widened, a hand slapping his mouth as you both stood up.
“What?” you quizzed, confused by his sudden change of behaviour.
“I… was meant to keep this a secret,” his voice trailed, the end of his sentence falling in a whisper as he started panicking. “Can we pretend you didn’t hear what I said?” he asked as you placed your bag strap on your shoulder, taking your sweater before pushing the chair against the table.
“Said what?” you replied with a smile, and Jacob sighed in relief, somehow feeling like his secret was safe with you, even if you’ve talked to him for the first time at the beginning of the afternoon.
╰☆╮
The rest of the month rolled off smoothly, yet the stress and the revisions became more intense as the days went by. You didn’t hear anything back from Jacob, but you’ve caught him staring at you a few times, offering him an awkward wave and a smile as not to get noticed by some of his “fan girls”, as they called themselves.
You still had a whole month left before finals, and you felt blessed as summer decided to start a bit earlier this year. It was only the beginning of May, but you were already able to wear shorts and dresses. It felt good to see the blue sky and being surrounded by the warmth of the sun hitting your exposed skin after the cold, lonely winter and spring you’ve just got out of. Everything looked prettier and warmer, and it did nothing but make you happier and brighter, despite the stress of the finals piling up on your shoulders.
So, to get rid of this pressure, you decided to leave town with Hyunjae and let him drive to one of the lakes that surrounded your town, knowing that the beach and parks would get crowded in no time. It was a place that you used to go to with your parents when you were still a child, memories that you shared with your friend coming back flooding in your mind.
Hyunjae and his family tagged along to give you some company and take care of you as your parents were busy looking after your newborn twin sisters, Hyunjae and his younger brother acting like elder siblings to you.
After driving for a few dozens of minutes, you settled your stuff in the shade, right under a weeping willow that offered you freshness throughout the entire day. Your best friend napped almost the entire time you were there, hand lingering on his abs while the other plucked out some grass until he dozed off, trying to store as many hours of rest as possible before finals. By his side was you, reading a book and enjoying the chilly water to cool down from the hot temperatures of early Summer, playfully nudging the young man next to you each time he was starting to snore.
It’s near the middle of the afternoon that you heard another car pulling up near the lake, a bunch of excited teenagers coming out of a van. You didn’t pay much attention to them, only sighing as your peace was about to get ruined, their screams when they jumped in the water woke your best friend up.
He abruptly sat up next to you and rubbed his eyes, some sleeping marks lingering on his face, making you giggle. Being the short-sighted idiot that he was, he squinted to try and recognise some people, but he didn’t have to.
A young woman screamed and started jumping up and down, waving her arms above her head in your direction, hearing her scream something towards you.
You looked at each other with Hyunjae, confusion painted on your faces, hearing your phone buzz in your small bag hidden by your folded clothes.
“Hello?” you said as Hyunjae’s phone started vibrating too, picking up the call as well.
“Y/N, it’s us! We’re on the opposite side of the lake! Come and join us!” you heard your best friend yell in your ear, hearing her as well through Hyunjae’s phone, who picked up a call from her boyfriend.
“Okay, we’re coming!” you excitingly said as you hung up, waving at your best friend from your spot as you started packing your stuff to get back in the car and meet up with your friends.
Your best friend excitingly jumped in your arms as soon as you got out of the car,
“Tt’s crazy how we’re so connected! Did you also think that the beach would be crowded?” she asked, and you nodded with a smile, happy to see her this joyful to see you.
The inseparable duo was here, as well as Younghoon, Jacob, Eric, Juyeon and Sangyeon, the striker of the football team. They all engulfed you in a tight hug, Jacob staying in the background the entire time.
“Hi Jacob!” you brightly said and wrapped your arms around his neck, hugging him close.
“Hi Y/N,” his answer vibrated in his chest and had repercussions in yours, sending your heart flying in your ribcage.
You looked so good being this carefree, it was thankfully a sight that he managed to imprint in his mind despite the shortness of the moment. Being surrounded by all your friends felt so good that you forgot to be awkward and worry about the stupidest things, and Jacob adored seeing you this natural and smiling in the company of your friends. He was a bit sad that he wasn’t fully the reason for your smile though, but he still managed to enjoy the rest of the day with you and your mutual friends, whether you were on the ground or in the water.
Sangyeon, Younghoon and Juyeon copied Hyunjae and joined him in a restoring nap, while Eric, Sunwoo, Jacob, Soyeon and you played different games in the water, improvising a volleyball match with an imaginary net and the ball Sunwoo took with him as the volleyball, but it did the job. It was just a bit hurtful for the liberos since it wasn’t as soft and bouncy as a volleyball, but the joy of the moment allowed any type of pain to become bearable.
The evening eventually started to settle in, and you all got out of the water, drying yourselves before deciding to spend a part of the night here. You helped Sangyeon build a bonfire in the safe area by bringing some different branches, the eldest placing them correctly before lighting them with his pocket lighter.
“Hyung! I didn’t know you were a boy-scout,” Sunwoo exclaimed and made everyone laughed as you all were sliding some marshmallows on a stick, Sangyeon smiling with modesty at everyone.
“Ya, don’t say this,” Sangyeon mumbled, and you smile, rubbing his upper back as he sat down next to you, thanking him when you handed him over his marshmallow stick.
“Oh no! Mine burnt,” Soyeon pouted when she retrieved her snack from the flames, and her boyfriend was quick to give her his sweets, Eric cooing at the gesture of affection.
“Give it to me, I like them burnt,” he mumbled as he bit in the fluffy texture, immediately regretting it as it was boiling. His girlfriend handed him water as he stood up, bouncing up and down to try and reduce what felt like flames in his mouth.
“Oh my, thanks babe,” he muttered with his mouth stuffed when he gulped down everything with a pained expression on his face. Eric’s eyes filled with boredom locked into yours and you both chuckled, your friend shaking his head.
“When is it gonna be my turn,” he huffed and Sunwoo hit him playfully in the back as you all laughed around the bonfire, relating to your friend.
“When you’ll stop being obsessed with football and mango juice,” Eric grunted and folded his arms over his chest as Sangyeon called him out, making you coo and playfully run to him, holding him against you as he fake-cried on your chest while everyone was laughing at him.
Except for Jacob, who only offered a weak smile, but you didn’t catch it, too busy having fun and being light-hearted with your friends.
After your stomachs were filled with sweets and soda, Sunwoo pulled out his guitar and strummed a soft melody until some became heavy-eyed or fell asleep against the other, his girlfriend succumbing to his musical talents first. Jacob looked exhausted as well but forced his eyes open, finding him even hotter with hooded eyelids and his hair slightly curling with the humidity of the air and the lake water.
When it was time to go home, Hyunjae, as well as Younghoon, Sunwoo, Soyeon and Eric decided to jump into Hyunjae’s car to go to the beach, feeling the urge and the thrill of going skinny-dipping. On the other hand, you and the rest of the boys were too exhausted and modest to do this, only wanting to go home and get some good rest.
Just like they had arrived, Sangyeon was behind the wheel while the rest was either next to him or in the back seat. And you didn’t know how it happened, but you got stuck between the window and Jacob, who was struggling to keep his eyes open.
“You good?” you asked, and he turned his head towards you before offering you a tired yet sweet smile, moving his head up and down.
“I'm just exhausted, tonight was simply amazing,” he mumbled, and you expressed your agreement by a happy hum and a nod, bringing your attention to your eldest friend.
“Are you sure you’re awake enough to drive?” you enquired on the current situation and Sangyeon looks at you through the inner rear-view mirror, eyes forming two crescent moons as he smiled.
“I just jumped in the water, I’m nothing but awake,” he clapped in his hands to motivate himself and started the engine, your best friend’s car already gone.
Jacob rested his head against the headrest and closed his eyes, his head rolling to the side each time Sangyeon took a turn. You settled yourself on the window and let the vibrations of the car lull you to sleep, the small talk that Sangyeon and Juyeon were having in the front seats acted like a background noise, which helped you dozing off.
However, when the car pulled up in front of your house, they didn’t expect you to have your head resting against Jacob’s shoulder, his hand on your knee. The two men smiled at each other before Sangyeon got out of the vehicle, drawing the door open. As he was about to carry you to your doorstep, Jacob’s arm was quick to wrap itself around your waist, keeping you close to him.
You woke up confused, blinking a few times as you saw the striker standing next to you with a wide smile on his face. He removed a limb around your body, and you felt someone groan under your right shoulder, noticing in dread that you snuggled up to Jacob for some warmth in your sleep.
“You gotta go before the beast wakes up,” Sangyeon joked and winked as he helped you get out of the car, closing the door behind you. It opened again a few seconds later, Jacob looking just as confused as you were.
“Come on, lovebirds, we don’t have the night.”
“Lovebirds?” Jacob and you asked in unison, the basketball player rubbing his eye with the back of his hand. He jumped out of the van and gestured to Sangyeon to get back in.
“You can go, I live just around the corner,” he drowsily said as he vaguely gestured behind him.
“You sure? Your house is on my way back home, I can drop you off,” Sangyeon suggested but he refused, offering a handshake to the striker before letting him go.
Being more awake now, you waved at your friends driving away before turning to your crush, who looked even more adorable as he was super sleepy and just woke up.
“Are you sure you’re gonna be okay? You look really tired,” you asked, voice still laced with sleep yet sounding caring, which made Jacob’s heartbeat fasten. He nodded and weakly smiled, taking a step closer to you. His attitude was a bolt from the blue as he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you to him, nuzzling his face in your neck.
“You felt so warm during the ride, it’s almost like I could get used to this,” he tiredly said with a smile, gently pulling away to stare at you, his fingers leaving your back to come and slide a wild piece of hair behind your ear. Your whole body stiffened at his words as he stared at you in the eyes, noticing a small, washed-out smirk plastered on his face.
“Don’t you think it’s a bit... late to start something with someone? I mean, we have finals and then y-you’re le-leaving for South Korea and-” you started stammering as his thumb gently stroked your cheek, loving watching you lose your composure at his display of affection.
“It’s never too late when you love someone,” he whispered, feeling his warm breath tickling your lips in such a delicious manner that you have to resist the urge to move forward and press your lips against his.
His words punched the air out of your lungs, leaving you breathless as he kissed your cheek, mouth slowly moving to the side until it reached your lips. The kiss was soft yet a bit on the rougher side as if he wanted you to understand every feeling he had for you. Instinctively, your arms wrapped around his shoulders, and you kissed him harder, deeper, his hands on your lower back pulling you flush against him.
You had dreamt, wondered about what it was like kissing Jacob, but it never felt as good as you were experiencing it now. Fireworks and butterflies were erupting in your stomach, leaving you dizzy with love and passion as one of his hands came and cupped your cheek, the pad of his thumb gently caressing the skin.
Once you pulled away for oxygen, you held onto his shoulders for your dear life and he chuckled, his mouth slowly travelling down to your neck.
“I-I think my… my- oh my god, my parents will worry,” you gently pushed him away and he stared at you with a smile before diving in to capture your lips in another soft kiss.
“I'm only letting you go if you're free tomorrow. Let's put that off to tomorrow, shall we?” he asked, and your eyes widened at his suggestion.
“We can go back to the lake if you want, but only if we’re alone,” he said, his hand caressing your cheek while the other was busy stroking your upper back up and down.
“I want to enjoy this with you and you only,” he added, mumbling against your mouth and this time, you’re the one pulling him for a kiss.
“Come and pick me up at 10, then,” you said as you pulled away.
“I’ll be there, I promise,” he answered and started walking towards your house, closing the front gate behind you, waving at him with a smile.
He sent you a flying kiss with a smile and you waved at him one last time before closing the main door of your house behind you, both sighing with a huge smile and warmth painted on your faces.
You peeled the clothes off your skin and went straight to the bathroom to take a shower, shaking your head left to right while chuckling as you recalled what just happened in your last month of high school.
Nothing was making sense, you didn’t know how you got there, but you were happy.
And that’s what mattered the most.
#the boyz soft hours#the boyz fluff#the boyz imagines#the boyz#the boyz jacb#the boyz reactions#the boyz soft imagines#the boyz soft#the boyz fluff imagines#the boyz jacob imagines#the boyz jacob scenarios#jacob fluff#jacob soft hours#jacob imagines#bae jacob#jacob scenarios#jacob soft imagines#jacob reactions#jacob#bae jacob imagines#bae jacob scenarios#the boyz bae jacob#the boyz timestamps#jacob fanfic#jacob x reader#bae jacob x reader#jacob drabbles#the boyz fic#high school!au#bae jacob au
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“idfc; blackbear (again it’s so easily related to hawk vibes, maybe he’s afraid to open up again for a relationship after moon so he acts like he doesn’t care about the reader but the mfs actually so in love😩✋🏻)” - @hawkwhore
ugh i love this sm and blackbear 😛 ty for the request as always <3
idfc | eli “hawk” moskowitz x reader
warnings: just cursing?
summary: based on idfc by blackbear :) hawk doesn’t like you and you don’t know why
a/n: soooo i kinda strayed from the song LOL sorry but this is kinda more cutesy and less angsty than the song. i actually like it though :)
You don’t know why he seemed to hate you.
Ever since you walked into the dojo for the first time, it was like you couldn’t escape his death stare.
Eventually, you got closer to Miguel, his best friend, so you two started going to the same parties and hanging out more often. But he never seemed to warm up to you.
Miguel said Hawk was just intimidated by you because you always beat him when Sensei calls you both to spar. So you let him win one time, but he seemed to hate you even more after.
Which is why you started Operation Get Hawk To Like Me.
It seemed like a fun challenge to get the broody boy to enjoy your company, but you also sincerely wanted to be friends with him. When he would laugh with Miguel and he smiled like the sun, it made you sad that he was so cold towards you but so warm towards others. You wanted the sun.
You decided that the first part of O.G.H.T.L.M was to subtlety be nicer; you didn’t want to be desperately kind out of nowhere and make him dislike you even more.
“Hey!” you called after the red haired boy who was about to open the door to the dojo.
Hawk turned around slowly at the sound of your voice, and you winced at the annoyed look on his face.
“I- uh, I got this for you,” you held out a blueberry smoothie. When everyone hung out at Golf N Stuff, you saw that he got that flavor and took a mental note.
The boy stood in front of you with a twisted face, not reaching out to take the drink. “Why?” he asked.
You shifted awkwardly, feeling nervous under his stare. Was this too forward? “Um... I accidentally got an extra one?” you made the excuse lamely. “Just take it.”
“Give it to Miguel,” Hawk turned around and sauntered into the dojo, leaving you with a frown. But you wiped off any trace of your disappointed expression and walked into practice too.
-
You tried everything.
You waved at him every time you passed each other in the halls. You got him drinks at parties and you even offered to be the designated driver so that he could get wasted with Miguel.
When you two sparred, you lost on purpose each time. Sensei even pulled you aside to ask if something was wrong. “Hawk is getting better,” was all you said, but he didn’t seem convinced.
The list of things you were trying to do for Operation Get Hawk To Like Me seemed endless and you were totally kissing his ass. His feelings about you weren’t budging, and it seemed like this was just a hopeless mission.
“I just don’t get why he hates me so much. I’m trying so hard,” you groaned.
“Maybe that’s why. You’re trying too hard,” Miguel said across from you with a mouthful of fries.
“Well I don’t know what to do then. I want him to know I’m trying.”
“He knows,” your best friend nodded his head nonchalantly.
Your face scrunched up in confusion, causing Miguel to give you an amused look. “Then why doesn’t he care? I’m starting to think there’s just something wrong with me,” you huffed, crossing your arms.
“You should just talk to him if it’s bothering you so much,” Miguel shrugged.
“I guess I should,” you slumped, feeling intimidated by the thought of confronting Hawk. Was it even worth it? If he didn’t want to be your friend now, then what would change if you talked to him? If he would even agree to talk.
-
Tonight. The final step that would determine if you were going to give up on Hawk.
The truth is, it really hurt your feelings how little he cared about you. And it hurt even more when you went out of your way to get him to even acknowledge you as an acquaintance.
You don’t know why it affected you so badly; maybe you’ve always had a teensy crush on him. And maybe this little plan you formulated was actually motivated by your subconscious desire to really get to know him, even though you passed it off as wanting to simply be his friend.
So tonight, at the party you were all going to, you were going to talk to him. And get the truth on why he was so persistent in shoving you away.
“Woah, slow down Y/N. Miss lightweight,” Miguel eyed you cautiously when you downed another cup of beer.
“I just need some liquid courage to face Hawk,” you licked your lips, already feeling the effect of the alcohol clouding your mind. You started to sway without noticing, making Miguel laugh at you amusingly.
“Well good luck with that. But that’s enough, or you won’t even get any words out,” he took the cup from you and you pouted. Miguel subtly motioned behind you, and you turned around to look.
It was the red haired boy you’ve been avoiding all night; the one who made your palms sweat when you thought about the conversation you were planning to have.
But with the alcohol giving you a rush of confidence, you walked up to him with no anxiety. His eyes widened when he saw you rushing forward, and he almost looked afraid.
“Can I talk to you?” you said solidly, feeling braver than you usually are. Hawk looked at you, confused, but nodded to his friends before following you to go somewhere quieter.
He traced behind you as you opened the door to go outside, where there were less people and the music wasn’t so loud.
“Um... is something wrong?” Hawk stood awkwardly in front of you, scratching the back of his neck nervously.
“Of course there’s something wrong,” you replied in a meaner tone than you intended, but you brushed off the guilt.
“Well what is it?” he asked in his usual annoyed tone that he used only when he needed to speak to you.
You felt your cheeks heat up with frustration. “Why don’t you like me?” you blurted out, and the expression on his face told you that he wasn’t prepared for it at all.
“W-What?” Hawk stuttered, his previously composed persona was gone.
“Why don’t you like me?” you repeated, more forcefully. “I am so nice to you. But you just hate me and I have no idea why! And you’re just best buds with everyone else, so I know you aren’t incapable of having friends. Do you know how shitty that feels? Especially when I try so hard to just get you to treat me decently!” your mouth ran on and on and words were coming out without you thinking.
Your blurred vision from your anger cleared after you caught your breath, and you focused on his shocked expression. It was the most expression he’s ever shown you.
“I-I-” Hawk stammered, but you cut him off.
“Look, I’ll leave you alone if you just tell me to. But tell me why, so I can give up. I’m sorry, okay? For whatever I’ve done that makes you not even want to be near me. And I don’t even know why I feel like I need you to like me, I just-”
This time he was the one to interrupt you. “I do like you.”
You blinked in confusion, taken aback by his words.
Hawk licked his lips anxiously, taking a breath in before speaking, “I’m sorry. I know I’ve been a dick. The truth is... I’ve been... um... catching feelings for you. And I guess I was trying to protect myself by pushing you away.”
Your mouth dropped open at his confession. Out of all the responses you were expecting when you were overthinking about the conversation, this one was one you could have never seen coming. But surprisingly, it made your stomach turn and your heartbeat accelerate.
He continued, this time looking into your eyes with his blue ones. “I don’t hate you at all. I just... I just felt like last time I caught feelings for someone I just got hurt. And I was all in, but they weren’t. That’s why I keep myself from getting close to you. I’m sorry Y/N,” Hawk confessed his whole heart, leaving you speechless.
After barely getting a few words out of him everyday, his confession of feelings was overwhelming. But you finally understood him. You knew about his relationship with Moon and how it went down from all the school gossip, but for some reason you never pieced together that it was why his guard was up so high.
“I don’t really know what to say,” you admitted, still feeling woozy from both the alcohol and his speech. You weren’t sure about your feelings and you didn’t want to say something you didn’t mean. Yes, you had feelings for him too, but everything was going so fast.
Hawk gave you a smile that calmed you from your worry. “It’s okay, sorry. It was a lot. But if you still want we can be friends.” He reached out his hand for you to shake and confirm your partnership.
Instead of taking it, you took him by surprise by wrapping your arms around his shoulders. He melted into the hug after a few seconds, and you smiled from behind his view. “Friends,” you pulled away and he beamed at you warmly.
You finally got the sun.
a/n: omg bye this was not like the song at all SORRY there wasn’t that much action it was just fluffy IVE BEEN WATCHING TOO MUCH MIRACULOUS LADYBUG like they r so soft and u can see the influence of it on my writing lmaoo anyways hope u enjoyed!! :)
#cobra kai#eli moskowitz#hawk cobra kai#cobra kai imagine#cobra kai x reader#eli moskowitz imagine#eli moskowitz x reader#hawk imagine#hawk x reader#cobrakai
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Hiiiiii Can I request Headcanons of reader x Himari, or Reader x Sayo? Love ur blog btw <333
thank u sm!! and yes ofc 😩 i love them so muchh
UEHARA HIMARI / HIKAWA SAYO X GN!READER - GENERAL RELATIONSHIP HEADCANONS
himari's a very cheerful and supportive person, and that doesn't change one bit when it comes to dating
she adores your company and wants to be around you as much as she can, always calling out to you when she happens to find you in public or at school- sometimes she even tries to sneak up on you to scare you
unfortunately for her she never succeeds, since you can hear her giggling like a madman from a mile away
gives you a lot of gifts, especially sweets made by her along with notes that have random compliments written on them
there is not one single moment of awkward silence with her, just saying
she's also a very affectionate person, so hugs and hand holding are an absolute must
she cannot handle kisses in public though, i mean she almost faints when you do it in private-
but she absolutely LOVES cuddling, no comments on that one. she prefers being the little spoon but won't mind holding you instead from time to time!
whenever she sees you at afterglow's concerts, well, her excited laughter sounds like manic cackling instead, so that's something tsugumi had to consult her about LMAO
but either way, she works twice as hard to make it worth it whenever you're part of the crowd!
but she gets super sad when you don't so that might end in a bit of a flop
she also loves using pet names - baby, sweets or hon are regulars (sometimes you have to complain about her using them in public because they can be a bit embarrassing at times)
a personal himari headcanon of mine is that she claims to love pop music and that's the types of songs she has on her public spotify playlist, but she actually really REALLY loves heavy metal and listens to bands like NEMOPHILA or TELECiDE but didn't really tell anyone because she was scared it conflicts with her image
you're the only one who's allowed to know what she jams out to
surprisingly, sayo is extremely soft and sweet to you in private once she trusts you enough
however, that doesn't change how strict she is about schoolwork... she actually acts like a mom to you in that way
like you'd be just done with the backlog of homework you got and suddenly a text from her pops up saying "have you finished your homework? if so, please send me images of how you resolved the exercises so i can make sure the answers are correct."
if you aren't particularly good at studying, she's more than willing to help you with your work or explain the subject to you before an exam
she doesn't have a personal preference regarding nicknames, but if you start using them, she might do so too once in a blue moon (or when she's half asleep and you're cuddling <3)
they're usually something like dear, love or darling
desperately tries to hide the fact that you're dating from hina because she knows she'll be talking about you non-stop
unfortunately for her, hina finds out about everything
so you'll have to put up with "isn't onee-chan so cool??!! you'd know, right? :DD" or "did you and big sis smooch yet, hmm hmm?? insert maniacal laughter"
it's sorta funny especially when you tell sayo about it because she'll start screaming into her hands if you quote exactly what her sister said LMAOO
secretly loves it whenever you lean your head on her shoulder on bus rides, but you can always tell by the way she cards her fingers through your hair
will definitely play guitar for you if you ever asked her to
and she has to recollect herself mentally whenever you show up at a roselia concert
refuses to talk about you in an overly flattering manner to her band members after they find out about your relationship in order to avoid teasing
but they know
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IF LILY DATED...
HI this is a long post. the idea for this was inspired by my favorite @delicatejisung who also has an nct dream oc that you MUST follow. also i know the edit sucks. also also i write very light nsfw stuff in this. like mentions but no smut cuz i don’t do that. HOWEVER there are no nsfw mentions w jisung. ik teens do whatever and lily is only a year older than him but 1.) i will not do that because he is still a minor and 2.) they just aren’t like that together. they don’t need it
THIS IS ALL HYPOTHETICAL NONE OF IT IS OFFICIALLY CANON. lmk which ones sound cute cuz even tho it’s not gonna happen .. lilno and chenlil might have stolen my heart
mark:
you can bet they’d be so completely in love with each other
very sweet, very romantic
“baby” “babe”
in front of the camera they’re normal, the same amount of affection as usual, oftentimes less
lily, when mark is talking or being unintentionally attractive: *bites bottom lip, looks up a little, seems like she’s trying not to smile*
he does his rap in mfal to her randomly and it’s cringey and funny but he does it to make her smile because he knows it’s her fav title track
when she sings he smiles so wide because in his opinion. there is no sound more beautiful than her voice
they talk to each other so well. like. they can sit for HOURS just talking and it never gets old to them
writes genuine love letters to her but will cringe and hate himself if he gives them to her until she gets teary and smiles
her basically giving him book reports about the books she reads and he literally falls more in love with her when she’s screaming about the novels because she is so PASSIONATE
her falling asleep in the practice rooms or studio late at night because she INSISTS on staying with him
and when he kisses her he likes to tilt her chin up with his hand of holds both sides of her face
hyuck taking credit for the whole relationship
she has a collage of polaroids of them, of him (including some of the ones from qtah) that are separate from her other photos of friends (she has a lot)
mark has a few polaroids of her that he keeps by his bed and he always smiles when he sees them
HE 10000% WRITES SONGS FOR HER AND SHOWS HER BUT HES REALLY NONCHALANT ABOUT IT
she never calls him oppa (even a bit before they start dating tbh)
when she has to do sexy performances or just acts sexy you will 100% find mark at his most awkward
they will have fun doing ANYTHING they’ll be happy through anything if they’re together
they could go through five watermelons in a day
konglish all the time. and getting excited/thinking something is funny and jumping and screaming
“can i have your netflix password, lils?” “mark you’re literally richer than me and still use all of my accounts”
her getting embarrassed by him and giggling
she will continue her campaign to get mark to play spiderman
lazy days making music, him watching her cook, binge watching american reality shows she likes, and literally just days where theyfe in bed and make out and talk and make out
shopping trips all the time
they love to do activities together. like, they’ll go places and try new things
she’s desperate to visit his home and his family
and they have their ideal life planned. like. if they weren’t idols they’d get an apartment together. they wanna have some pets together. they have trips they’d like to go on together
they grew up together, they’ve loved each other for years, they’ve been pillars of support
but as much as they’ve loved each other they grew to be IN love with each other
but teased by every unit especially 127. wbk.
they’re more.. private than the others. they’re alone together a lot and don’t overdo it in front of the others
SLIGHT nsfw below. no smut but. and then some fluff near the end <3
ummm so like. vanilla for the most part even tho lily is a bit more ✨wild✨
oh um. ass grabs. when they’re alone but. constantly
when they get comfy with each other (read: when mark finds confidence and is comfy) he will always have his hands on her ass
even just resting there
mirror selfies with his hand on her ass
if he can’t touch her ass, it’s always a hand on her thigh
very affection when alone together, moderate when they’re with others
he likes to lay on her stomach and she loves when he lays on her shirtless
so many days where they just lay in bed together, tangled in lily’s blankets, music playing in the background, lazy makeout sessions... need i go on? CUTE SHIT
mark isn’t great at expressing his emotions publicly, and they hold so much of their relationship just between them. they both always know how much they love each other
renjun:
so they’re SOFT
song covers together
she tries to learn mandarin but. she ends up getting frustrated that she can’t get it and renjun kisses it better
he tells her the wrong words in mandarin a lot and it has fucked her over a lot, especially in lives
“oppa, how do you say ‘i bought that shirt for renjun?’”
*in mandarin* “i am in love with renjun”
they’d be a bit more obvious about their feelings, a bit more touchy
when they confess, they’re together right away, no questions asked. they literally need each other
sleepovers every night and they’re generally really cozy
lily reading, renjun drawing, a movie playing on her laptop that they aren’t paying too much attention to
renjun has specific articles of clothing he puts aside in his closet because he KNOWS she’s gonna take those specific ones
he is very into giving her flowers and little gifts
shes asked him to give her mf art lessons LMAO
ended with them covering each other in paint and making a MESS
they’re silly together, they’re the couple who knows how to cook but starts playing with the ingredients and makes a mess
they leave sticky notes for each other everywhere
lily jumping into his arms
constant pecks on the lips. the dreamies are sick of it. so sick of it.
deep talks late at night
lily being funny and having a box of his stuff in her room even though they live in the same place
nomin threatening renjun
but then lily fourth wheeling with them all
somehow they become even more of a savage duo
when they make eye contact while performing they’ll make faces at each other
he turns the koala joke into her pet name
so he calls her koala and she calls him a pain in her ass
SOFT KISSES he always cups one side of her face
he braids her hair a lot or does cute little styles
lots of cafe dates
will KILL any of the others if they wake her up when she’s sleeping
the type of romance that’s sappy but also they can most definitely roast each other
she likes to wrestle him LMAOO
the way they’re basically chenji’s babysitters is SO FUNNY it started to happen a lot right after they got together
they want to adopt a puppy and name him moomin
SLIGHT nsfw below. no smut but. and then some fluff near the end <3
okay so it’s kinda.. more hesitant and sometimes she takes the lead more than he does
their make out sessions are more heated but don’t always lead to something
like the way it’s going youd THINK it’d be something, but then they just decide to watch a movie and go to bed
he really likes her neck and collarbones but can’t do much to her neck because yknow they’re idols
there’s almost no insecurity in their relationship
it’s very relaxed and loving, and everyone around them can see and feel the love
jeno:
a bit unexpected
a ✨whirlwind romance✨
lilno? more like lilmino because jaemin is always there
a part of her was genuinely sad that she broke up nomin and everyone looks at her like she’s crazy
torn between her love for him and letting him go if jaemin confessed
they can be a bit more obvious in front of fans than the others, because for some reason there isn’t much suspicion there
in front of czennies he lowkey flexes and picks her up over his shoulder a lot, has his arm around her a lot, and they wink at each other from across the set
he holds her waist a lot, and he’s super protective
but also the !! softness !!
have literally been walked in on several times of them just peppering each other with kisses and laughing and its literally lowkey a movie romance
working out together
practicing dances together
the type of guy to literally ignore everything she’s saying because her beauty distracted him
she hits him on the arm for that
passionate kisses
there have been too many times where the others walk in the kitchen and lily is sitting on the kitchen counter with her arms around jeno’s neck as they’re just making out
they’re the couple that’s yelled at by the dreamies the most because sometimes they need to chill out
LMAO THEYRE LIKE THE HORMONAL HIGH SCHOOL COUPLE
and like they love each other deeply and fully, it’s not high school in that regard
but they giggle too much and are kinda all over each other sometimes
they use pet names just a BIT too much
the older guys are a bit more protective of her with him than they would be with any of her other options
cuz while they’re softies
they escalate their relationship super quick
and it’s RIGHT for them
but the hyungs are protective
jeno surprisingly isn’t that jealous because if he could actually get lily
he knows neither of them are going anywhere
him constantly telling her how beautiful she is
her encouraging him and telling him he’s so talented and more than he thinks he is
when they ride the tandem bikes (i think that’s what they’re called? the bikes with two people?) it’s just jeno pedaling
OH and when they make eye contact during stages it only enhances their stage presence because they both wanna look sexy for their boo
jeno is rooting for lily solo because he knows she deserves it
super sweet and wholesome and they make each other smile so WIDE
she pops his zits for him LMAO
cuddles for DAYS and jeno’s fav thing is when she falls asleep in his arms
touches his muscles all the time
SLIGHT nsfw below. no smut but. and then some fluff near the end <3
they make out so much OMG
a bit wilder than she would be with others
she loves to run her hand down his abs
when she does that or touches his biceps it lowkey turns him on
jeno is a bit more reserved than the others at times, but with lily he feels utterly HIMSELF
he doesn’t feel like the jeno who is just a hot rapper. he feels more than that with her
they bring the light out in each other
hyuck:
another unexpected pair but a lot more expected than jeno/lily would be
they’re both literal sunshine and they would be such a beautiful couple
lily aka the only human alive to fluster hyuck
and even THAT doesn’t happen very often
hyuck’s lap = lily’s seat
SO touchy and affectionate but not in the way lily/jeno would be
it’s like constant hand holding, hugging, sitting on each other, leaning on each other, stars in there mf EYES
while they still tease each other and mess around
i have a very specific image in mind of them waking up together, hyuck leaning over her, the biggest smiles on their faces, and then kissing each other
and lily’s just like “hi” with the cutest smile, and then he says it back with the same smile
it might surprise you but hyuck POSSESSIVE
will gatekeep her and not let anyone hug her
always calls her his girlfriend in front of the members
he stands behind her with an arm around the middle of her torso a lot and she’s just absentmindedly playing with his fingers
only a tiny, lil bit obvious in front of czennies because they’re both so affectionate?? and before they dated lily would call him the love of her life?? and keep her face close to his?? this is NORMAL for them
but one of the biggest clues is hyuck being physically unable to not stare at her lips sometimes
they read each other’s tarot nearly every day HAHAH
very romantic as well
she sings him “you are my sunshine” all the time, just stroking his face and staring at him with all of the love in the world
like i said, they still tease the fuck outta each other and roast each other and are at each other’s throats but then they can flip INSTANTLY
he kisses her knuckles and traces her face
he games and she’s falling asleep on his lap
127 squad doesn’t like when they’re being forward because haechannie is the maknae
she loves life cuz more hyuck = more taeil
he will move mountains to make her laugh or see her smile
he’s begging sm for a sexy dance break with the two of them
she’s obsessed with how gorgeous his skin is
the type of boyfriend that notices the tiny little things
he’ll do things/get things for her just because he thought of her or remembered something she said
SLIGHT nsfw below. no smut but. and then some fluff near the end <3
another one that’s a bit wilder
theyre not shy LMAO
steamy intense makeouts like
how is he so good? lily is very satisfied
overall they’re such a fun beautiful HAPPY couple
theyre both so loving and wonderful and there is not one single doubt in anyone’s mind that they love each other fully
jaemin:
literally impossible in any universe
chenle:
lily and chenle have always been two sides of the same coin and he had been waiting for so long
the SMILES
the most beautiful happy smiles at each other ALWAYS because how did they get so lucky?
they were each other’s first proper kiss (canonically, as well)
it’s perfect because they’re best friends and always have been
nothing much changes except the affection and little things because they’re both still best friends
jisung being on all of their dates
he always buys her expensive shit and she hates it so much
she puts on lipstick JUST to kiss his cheek
jisung has walked in on them vibing, on them making out, and yeah he’s sick of it and so happy he only saw them kissing
always sleeping in the same room (usually at his place 👀) but theyre a huge mess when they sleep at night and someone ends up hitting the other because chenle moves too much for her liking
they’re still competitive and of course they still have their alliance
because dating or not, they would fight to the death on that rooftop
chenle literally will kiss every inch of her face because he likes hearing her giggles and he can’t believe he finally got his lily
CUDDLING ALL THE TIME and they’ve fallen asleep on the couch in the dorms and when they’re sleeping HARD the others like to see how many things they can balance on their heads
he will HYPE HER UP ALWAYS
but then say summ like “her face is weird tho” after and unless they’re in front of fans he ends up kissing her after she hits him
when she has to be sexy on stage, he is HERE FOR IT even if the stage is with another person because!! YES his girlfriend is hot, he’s LUCKY
she loves going to his house!! mostly because his family but also
they get to have privacy and be a couple
they’ll hold hands on camera cuz they don’t give a single fuck
they’re definitely outed and have to go public
which just makes their competitive streak and constant roasts WORSE
she loves the sound of his laugh but will yell at him if it hurts her ears
threatens to get one of his predebut photos tattooed on her
a big part of them loving each other is annoying each other and being soft behind the scenes
always together
SLIGHT nsfw below. no smut but. and then some fluff near the end <3
the more intimate aspects of the relationship were really weird at first
but they’re very compatible so it was just fun to them
he WILL honk her boob. has done it in front of the others by accident and jaemin forbid her to see him for a few days
they kinda taught each other how to kiss way before they dated so it was funny when they did it as a couple
peak friends-to-lovers and even czennies can’t help but love then
jisung:
god their shyness is kinda annoying
really confident in private- they talk a lot, they’re very good at just chilling
but lily has to be the one to hold his hand because he’ll get nervous even when he’s so comfy in the relationship
i mean not that the dreamies have time to be in a relationship, but jisung was so SCARED to kiss her and have his first kiss
she thought it was funny
clumsy duo and they tease tf outta each other for it
chenle always being around
they can’t tell who the members are more protective over in the relationship
hugs!!! she loves to backhug him and he thinks it’s cute cuz she’s so tiny
they watch harry potter too much
she has almost convinced him to ride a rollercoaster but ended up failing
he makes fun of her height a lot and then she’ll trip him or something
he’s kinda protective and gets insecure that he’s younger than her sometimes but she just kisses his cheek and tells him to stop worrying
tbh they’re the most innocent, wholesome couple
they wanna go out on dates and they do but catch another member tagging along to babysit them
she gets wine drunk next to him and he can’t drink so he just has this drunk woman on his hands and doesn’t know what to do but honestly she just wants him to cuddle her to sleep
his voice is her favorite sound and she wants him to sing more
whenever anyone says something weird about jisung they both hold up the handcuffs cuz
they’re super weird they can be so confident and then one of them gets flustered and will be a shy baby
trading lines in concerts
lily making cute faces at him, staring at him blankly, winking at him, acting cute to him in front of fans
they share one braincell together and probably accidentally outed themselves by using pet names and like. holding hands on live
and then the OH SHIT face happens
they’ve given the older members heart attacks because he’ll give her a piggyback ride, they’ll hug really tight, or WORSE... they’ll give each other a lil kiss
they’re more innocent by nature but they love kissing and he loves holding her face because her skin is pretty and soft
he wears her perfume on his wrist so he can smell her and smile
the type of boyfriend who is CLUELESS about girl stuff
he wants her to try a different hair color. like a weird one
she refuses
taeyong actually loves them together so much
them dating and being IN LOVE and jisung still gives her cash for her birthday
the “i love you’s” are so. cute. and full. of. LOVE
she is merciless when theyre playing something against each other. she’ll TRY to get him out
usually lily is clingier but when she’s standing and jisung is sitting with his arms around her waist and his head squished to her side it’s so cute
he gets randomly really clingy at times and won’t let go of her
emotional bub will get teary because he loves her so much
#na jimin#na lily#nct addition#nct dream addition#nct dream oc#nct oc#kpop addition#kpop oc#nct 22nd member#nct dream 8th member
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clairvoyant. (m) part nine.
masterlist
pairing: jungkook x reader , taehyung x reader
word count: 13k
warnings: lots of crying, mentions of sex, but nothing scandalous happens
author’s note: let me know what you think, i live off feedback and attention no cap lmaoo also this series is almost over and im upset and forcing myself to not drag it on
Jungkook is sat hunched on his bed, his feet dangling in front of him as his eyes focused on the floor. The sound of Taehyung slamming the dorm room shut made him flinch slightly, his body finally relaxing now that his room mate was gone.
He slumped back on the bed, his head nearly missing the wall behind him as he settled back into his sheets. He wiped his sweaty palms on his sweats, shutting his eyes and trying to calm his racing heart.
Taehyung had just chewed his ass out, he had been holding it in after you told him what had happened between you, Jungkook, and his stupid friend. You hadn’t meant to say anything at all but when you and Yoongi made it into your room Taehyung was already waiting there, taking note of your flustered appearance and thats when the questioning commenced. You had tried to play it down but with the way Yoongi looked Taehyung knew whatever happened had hurt you.
For the next few days Taehyung had just given Jungkook the silent treatment, ignoring when Jungkook asked him innocent questions or made small talk. Taehyung was petty, leaving the drawers to Jungkooks desk pulled out so Jungkook would ram his knee into them when he entered the room, not closing their room door fully when he left in the morning so Jungkook would have to decide if he wanted to drown out the noise of the hallway with his pillow or haul himself out of bed to shut it.
The last thing he had done was unplug his phone from the charger, successfully letting his phone die in order for the alarm to not wake him up on time for the class Taehyung knew he shared with you. Luckily Jungkook’s internal alarm had woke him up and that had apparently been the tipping point for Taehyung, his quick words and low jabs coming out and succeeding in wounding him.
Jungkook had never seen Taehyung as scary, or intimidating but the malice in his eyes as he tore him a new one made a fear creep up his spine. Never had he thought Taehyung was a violent man but when he had given him an open ended threat of not wanting to see him near you Jungkook decided that Taehyung was in fact very scary.
All the younger one could do was sit there and take it, refusing to make eye contact and silently praying that he wouldn’t get decked because even though Jungkook was buff he was also completely clueless on how to fight. His muscles were useless and he didn’t think he’d have it in him to even fight back if Taehyung swung first so when Tae stormed out it was a blessing.
A shuddering breath left him and before he knew it he was crying, his hands balling into fists as he felt the hot tears stream down his face. A small whine left his lips as he tried to get himself to stop crying like a fucking child, one of his fists slamming into the mattress beside him.
“Get yourself together.” His voice strained, aggressively wiping at the tears on his face as he sat up in bed again. His chest hiccuping and a few more tears slipping past his lashes. He had been holding that down for a while, not wanting to cry when Taehyung was there & still having some dignity left to not cry in the shower but he couldn’t sit here and act like he was the victim.
Jungkook took a deep inhale before standing up, going to his desk and swiping at his computers trackpad to see the time since his phone was lying dead on the desk. It was 7:30, Taehyung had apparently decided to become a morning person in order to tell him off.
He stared at his screen for another moment, he had half an hour to get ready for your shared class and he was dreading it. He had only seen you once since what happened but thanks to the fact that you had this class twice a week he was going to have to relive it again today. It didn’t help his nerves, seeing you ignore him entirely as you walked past his seat to go up to yours just made him want to fix everything.
Taehyungs threat still rung in his mind but considering that his friends words had been the reason he was in this predicament he decided that if Taehyung wanted to beat his ass then so be it.
He had made peace with the possibility of getting jumped by Taehyung, and possibly Yoongi as well because he seemed like the type to fight to kill if his friends needed him too.
He could feel the dark cloud of dread creeping up on him as he approached the cafe he had been avoiding, he had to suck it up and face it in order to do what he wanted. The cafe door felt like it weighed a thousand pounds as he pulled it open, the warmth of the building hitting his face, the smell of coffee making him realize how much he missed his morning cup.
Jungkook patiently waited in line, his eyes peeking behind the counter and thanking whoever was responsible for Jisoo not being on the clock. He ordered himself his typical americano, ordering your drink of choice as well, an iced coffee with white mocha and half and half, something he used to get you on the regular, before making his way to class.
His phone was still lying on his desk, charging this time, so he hoped he was early enough to class to be able to leave your drink without having to actually talk to you.
When he makes it past the students huddled around the door his eyes scan the upper row, sighing in relief when he doesn’t spot you in your seat. Jungkook sets his cup and backpack down at his desk, going up the steps until he reaches the last row. Jackson is sat at his seat next to yours, a very confused look on his face when he sees Jungkook approaching.
“Sorry dude, seats taken.” His reaches over, spreading his palm over the expanse of the desk top.
Jungkook hesitates as he holds the iced coffee, “Oh, yeah I know. This–uh, this is for Y/N.” Jackson relaxes at that, his hand coming back to rest on his own desk and a smile on his face, “Damn, I don’t get one too?”
Once again Jungkook blanks and his classmate takes pity on him, letting out a laugh, “I’m just teasing you. I’ll let her know you left it.”
“Okay.” He sighs, rolling his lips together as he sets the drink down, “I’ll just, uh, leave this here.”
He doesn’t wait for a response, nervously skipping down the stairs and sliding into his seat, his head immediately downcast and focusing on the shiny surface of his desk.
When you walk in its like he can sense it, his body tensing up, desperately wishing he had his phone so he could fiddle with it and not look as nervous as he feels. He spares a glance up at you when you pass his seat, seeing you with an oversized university hoodie and your hair in its natural state, your attention very clearly not on him.
As you walk up the steps you spot the iced coffee on your desk, smiling when you slide into your seat and turning towards Jackson, “Did you buy me this?”
Your hands grasp the cup, stirring the straw to properly mix the half and half into your drink and thats when you spot the black scribbling on the side. Jungkook being the name scrawled into your cup and you freeze.
“You wish I bought you coffee.” Jackson jokes, “Freshman dude got it for you.” He points down at Jungkook and he can feel the back of his head burning from the attention. This was a bad idea, why did he do this?
Your heart betrays you as it swells in your chest but you’re stronger than this, only letting yourself take a tiny sip, okay a gulp, before getting up from your seat. The ice in your drink rattles together as you clench it on your way down the steps, the class is filling up but the professor hasn’t walked in yet so you don’t draw attention to yourself.
Jungkook holds his breath when he hears your shoes against the floor, seeing you appear from the corner of his eye and he thinks you’re gonna talk to him but you keep walking until you’re stood by the teachers desk, right in front of him.
Thats when he properly looks up, his eyes widening when he sees you staring straight at him until you look down at the trashcan by the desk and drop your drink into there with a wet thunk. Your eyes meet his again and see the clear sadness in them, but again you’re stronger than this. A fucking iced coffee is not going to be his method to fix this, he had hurt you and if he wanted to make amends he was gonna have to try harder than this.
Jungkook crumbles under your stare, choosing to focus on his hands fidgeting on top of his desk as you went back to your seat.
Jackson sat there slack jawed, turning to you with wide eyes when you sat back down, “I fucking knew you had it out for him, you still sure you don’t want me to set him straight?”
Jungkook hears that too, sinking further into his seat and thanking his luck that the professor chooses now to walk in, saving him from having to hear an answer to Jacksons question.
The rest of your day continues without a hitch, the practice exercises you had to do in your lighting studio class taking up your brain and letting you forget about the coffee dumping incident of this morning.
You exit your building and your hair gets swept up by the cold wind, your hands wrapping around it and holding it down. Taehyung spots you rewrapping your scarf and pushes off the building he was resting on, he was absolutely freezing as he waited for your final class of the day to end but he had grown to like seeing you at this hour. He approaches you, his smile hidden behind his own scarf but the way his eyes crinkle up let you know he’s grinning at your struggle.
When he reaches out and grabs the ends of the scarf you give up, letting him wrap the material around your neck twice until its fully protected from the cold air.
“Thanks.” You mumble out, accepting the kiss he gives you and smiling when he lifts up the edge of the scarf to cover your lips.
“You’re welcome, how was class?”
He reaches into his pockets and pulls out a pack of hand warmers, giving you one that you clutch onto as he wraps his arm around you to pull you in for extra warmth.
“Good, every time I leave this class my love for natural lighting grows. I fucking hate soft boxes, like I get it, totally essential or whatever but nothing and I mean nothing will ever top the beauty of golden hour.”
Taehyung chuckles at your mini rant, another smile spreading across his face when you wrap both hands around his waist and give him a gentle squeeze. The position has you both waddling awkwardly towards your building but he doesn’t care.
You had yet to clarify what your feelings meant but Taehyung didn’t care, he was a patient man, especially when it came to you. He had told you how he felt and now the ball was in your court, whatever you chose to do with that information was okay with him but with the way you’re holding onto him like you don’t wanna let go, you don’t blame him for hoping you want the same as him.
“Golden hours when the suns kinda setting and everything is like glowing almost right?”
You hum against him, your chin resting on his chest as you look up at him and smile, “Yes, exactly right. The prettiest almost magical portraits come from that lighting.”
He grins right back down at you, pressing a kiss to your forehead, “Teach me how to take photos one day, I wanna take a pretty almost magical portrait of you to make it my lock screen.”
He had been saying things like that often now and it just made you blush, not used to hearing Taehyung say such mushy cute things, the cute things you were accustomed to him saying was him calling you a twinkie as he stared at his cum leak out of you. It definitely took some getting used to, for sure.
“Sure, maybe you can replace the canvas of your ass with a picture of me instead.”
He laughs loudly as he remembers something, “I just might, Namjoon finally told me I had to cover up my ass or take it down because one of the students complained when he saw it one day. I currently have some post it notes over my butt cheeks as a compromise. I’m sure a photo of you would be nicer to stare at too it’ll give Jungkook a nice reminder to back off.”
You separate from him as you both enter your building, waving at Joy and entering your elevator, his hands being quick to grasp yours almost as if he just needed to keep touching you. “What do you mean?”
He clears his throat awkwardly, leading the way out of the elevator and towards your room, “I kinda...went off on him this morning?”
You gasp at him as you open up your door, waving at Wendy as you both step inside and start taking off your scarves and coats, “Taehyung, why?”
He gives you an innocent shrug, getting comfy on your bed and patting the space beside him so you can snuggle up, which you immediately do, “Im sorry, I was pissed okay. Theres no excuse for what him or his friends did and he has to know that acting like that is gonna get him his ass handed to him one day.”
The groan you let out just makes him laugh, especially when you bury your head on his chest. He wraps his arms around you, fingers raking through your hair as his eyes meet Wendys, shes smiling as she works on her laptop and he smiles back at her before looking back down at you when your head peaks up again.
“Is that why he did what he did this morning.” You speak more to yourself but Taehyung frowns, “What did he do?”
“Okay relax,” your hands pat his chest, “he just bought me an ice coffee. Left it on my desk, didn’t say a word to me, I threw it away in front of him though.”
“Did he seriously not get it?”
You sigh as you sit back up, reaching over for your laptop in order to pull up netflix for you guys to watch something, “I’m sure he got it loud and clear now.”
Jungkook had in fact not got it loud and clear. In his defense this was the only thing he could think of doing that didn’t involve going up to you out of class and risking getting jumped, sure Jungkook was dumb but not dumb enough to believe he could take on Taehyung and Yoongi.
He had tried reaching out to you via text message but when his usual blue bubbles had turned green and never stated they were delivered he realized he had officially been blocked. You had also gone ahead and blocked him off your instagram as well, the only way he knew what you were up to was thanks to Eunwoo, the only one of his friends who was sympathizing with him.
So for the time being iced coffee was his way in, his pockets were hurting seeing you continue to toss drink after drink away in the trash but when the third time came around and you didn’t stomp down the steps and Kobe your drink into the trash in front of him he felt like he was making some progress.
Until class is dismissed that is. You were prepared, having all of your things prepacked and ready so when your professor let you go you could bolt right after him.
You had the drink in your hand, the majority of which you had consumed because you were a fiend for caffeine, your bag was thrown over your body haphazardly as you took the steps two at a time to match Jungkook’s pace.
He was halfway out the door when you reached the bottom, chasing after him as he made a sharp turn and continued down the hallway. You probably looked like a psychopath as you hunted down a giant freshman but you didn’t care.
He was completely oblivious to you as he exited the building, thinking he could relax when the fresh air met him and thats exactly when you pounce. Your finger coming out to jab him in the arm and he lets out a small yelp, his heart kicking up when he sees you step in front of him and the look on your face is not the one he had been expecting.
You’re breathing heavy from having to practically run after him, the plastic cup being crinkled in your grasp and he stares at it, trying a smile out when he sees that you had drank it.
“Stop this.”
Jungkook looks up at you again, his eyes wide in the classic Jungkook way and you have to look away, instead focusing on the center of his nose to not let his eyes sway you, “I just–“
“I didn’t throw it away today because someone told the professor I was dumping liquid into the trash and I’m not trying to get in trouble because you don’t know how to fucking act.”
Just as he thought he had made progress it all falls apart in front of him and his expression pains you, the look of utter defeat on his face hurts you.
“Im sorry, I’ve tried reaching out but you blocked me on everything.” He says the words so quickly, scared you’re going to cut him off again before he can speak.
“Of course I did Jungkook, you hurt me. I don’t want you to reach out. Don’t be simping over a slut like me, right?” You drop the iced coffee on the floor between you two before walking off, the cup stays standing up and thankfully not splashing all over his shoes and pants.
Jungkook just stands there, his cheeks turning red when he notices the attention he’s getting from the students that were walking by. His hand comes up to awkwardly rub the back of his neck, bending over to pick up the cup and dispose of it before he’s speed walking with his head down, no destination in mind.
There really was no way out of this for him, he wished he could be more assertive, confident even when it came to talking to you. Maybe then he would be able to properly explain himself before you cut him off and threw words in his face that he swore weren’t true.
Jungkooks chest ached, the seed of a crush that had burrowed its roots was barely hanging on. He was trying to keep it in tact but you and his friends had taken to digging and stabbing the soil surrounding it and now he was the one hurting.
He walks deeper into campus, arriving into the makeshift lounging area, a bunch of benches and tables set around with trees and plants scattered in between. Jungkook deems this spot is fine enough and hunkers down into the ironwood bench, his body hunching over as he rests his elbows on his knees with his head hanging low.
His eyes are shut for a minute or so, the small chatter of students around him filling his ears, the crunching of leaves being heard approaching him, and then the sound stops in front of him. Jungkook furrows his eyebrows, cracking an eye open and seeing a pair of tan strapped boots a few feet away from his, and thats when he lifts his head up and meets the blank stare of Yoongi.
The older one is stood there, a beanie on his head and his bag strapped on, an unreadable look on his face that only makes Jungkook nervous. Had you told Yoongi that he had bought you coffee and now he was going to get jumped? On campus? Really?
“You know,” Yoongi starts, his sharp eyes looming over Jungkook, taking in his appearance and look of pure sadness, “I’m normally a really understanding guy but I can’t for the life of me make sense to how you fucked up so badly.”
Jungkook can only swallow, not entirely sure where this conversation was leading to. Yoongi didn’t seem pissed, but he was usually really good at holding a pokerface.
Yoongi had been walking around campus, killing time between classes when he stumbled upon Jungkook looking like a wounded animal on the bench. He knew Jungkook had hurt you and if you didn’t want to give him the time of day anymore then that was your call, Yoongi being as observant as he always was, knew there was more to whatever the fuck happened. He had grown a soft spot for the kid and the time they had spent around each other let him see that what happened between you two was so very out of character for Jungkook.
He wanted to figure it out, blame it on his boredom or his love for problem solving, but he also knew that Jungkook most likely couldn’t talk to anyone right now so he also wanted to do this for him.
“Are you here to kick my ass?” Jungkook mumbles out softly, his mind already accepting defeat.
Yoongi frowns, “What? Kick your ass?”
When Jungkook nods, suddenly flinching when Yoongi starts to laugh, “You really think I could kick your ass? Thanks man.” Jungkook cracks a smile, letting himself relax now that he knows he knows Yoongi isn’t a physical threat. “Where are your friends?”
Yoongi ruffles his messy hair and readjusts his beanie as he waits for an answer, Jungkook sighs, rubbing his palms down his pants, “I don’t know, haven’t really talked to them much lately.”
After that evening Jungkook had distanced himself, it was the first time he ever raised his voice and Mingyu never expected it. He had only stayed in constant contact with Eunwoo but because his friends had formed their friendship before Jungkook joined the bunch he just felt it was best if he was the one to step back. He wasn’t sure if it was temporary or not but he wouldn’t be going back to acting like buddies unless something was discussed.
Yoongi hums, his hands gesturing to the spot beside him and Jungkook nods, reaching over and grabbing his bag to plop onto the floor by his feet. Yoongi chuckles to himself at the motion as he sits, how Jungkook was always so quick to accommodate for friends, and that’s exactly how he knows what he had done was very much not Jungkook.
“So are you gonna tell me what happened between you and Y/N?”
Jungkook gulps at the question, his heart not ready to rehash this again with Yoongi of all people, would he run to you and gossip over whatever he said?
“I mean you saw it all happen.” Jungkook mumbles out, referring to that evening when his group ran into you and Yoongi.
The older boy sighs, resting his elbows on his knees to lean forward slightly, his eyes focused on the hedges a few feet away because he knew Jungkook would squirm if he stared at him. “No, what I saw was your friend be a douchebag and Y/N telling you off. It feels like I’m missing a pretty big chunk of the picture.”
He can feel Jungkook fidget in his seat, his thighs rubbing against Yoongis as he tries to readjust himself. Jungkook feels like hes sat in front of the principles office after getting in trouble at school except Yoongi is far more terrifying than any school principle, even as hes sat there patiently waiting for Jungkook to say his half.
He just groans softly, his palms coming up to cup his eyes in shame, dropping back onto his lap as he leans fully against the bench, “I was an idiot, thats what happened.” Yoongi hums in agreement and Jungkook isn’t even offended at that, his mind being made in telling Yoongi everything he hadn’t been able to tell his friends. His friends hadn’t known that you were helping him with the girl problems he swore he had, his friends just thought Jungkook was swooned by you, his mind fixating on the relationship you had with his room mate and forming that into a mindless crush.
But he tells Yoongi all of it, tells him about the cafe meetings and text messages, leaving out details of any sexual activities you did but he admits to hoping his date with Jisoo didn’t work out because you were the one thing constantly on the back of him mind. How he had let his dumb friends influence his thinking when all he had wanted to do was come clean to you.
“I like her, so much Yoongi and I fucked it all up and the worst part is she thinks I saw her as this object I wanted to obtain but fuck–“ his eyes look up at the sky, frowning at the grey overcast, “theres no saving it is there?”
Yoongi licks his lips over as he stares at him, the distraught look on his face shows how sincere hes being and Yoongi doesn’t doubt him. He had been telling you about Jungkook’s feelings before this had all crashed and burned and its because he saw the way Jungkook acted around you compared to the moments he’d see him in passing.
“If I’m being honest, I think there was still a chance until you sealed the nail in your coffin when your friend called her a slut and you said nothing to defend her.” He shrugs at the expression on Jungkooks face, “Y/N’s stubborn, and I know she acts hard but if you really want to try to make this better no one can help you but you. I’m not going to give you tips or pointers because she’s my friend and if she wants you to keep your distance I’m going to respect that.”
Jungkook sighs with a nod, “I’ve brought her coffee these last few classes and she kept throwing them away and today she yelled at me for it.”
Yoongi laughs and Jungkook finally looks offended, a pout forming on his lips, “Dude really? You’re trying to buy her attention with coffee?”
“No thats not what I’m doing.”
“Hm, kinda is man. Have you tried not bolting out of class and going to talk to her like a human being.”
When Jungkook looks embarrassed at the realization that you had told your friends of his olympic worthy bolts Yoongi just laughs harder, his hand coming out to shove his shoulder playfully. He’s pulling out his phone, seeing the time and getting up, “I gotta get going to class but its just a suggestion, or you can talk to her out of class. These aren’t tips though, I swear.” He raised his hands in front of him before giving Jungkook a wave and walking away.
Jungkook waves back and sags into the bench when he’s gone, his hand coming up to ruffle his hair and he finds himself grinning for the first time in a while. If Yoongi told him to try then maybe he still had a chance.
It’s not until a few days later, on the last Saturday of the month, that you realize you might need to speak to Jungkook. You’re sat at your desk at work, organizing files in their respective folders, you’re grumpy and anxious since today is the day where you would have to be Jimin’s plus one at his parent’s event. You love Jimin, really you do, but you’ve been to a handful of these events with him over the course of being his friend and his parents were not shy to lay on the back handed compliments and sly digs to get under yours and his skin.
The thought of having to be in a stuffy dress, surrounded by people all of which were insanely more financially stable than you could ever dream to be, trying to make small talk and going along with whatever lie Jimin decides to throw into the mix was making you irritable and your hands clammy.
“Okay, what’s your deal.” Yoongi challenged, his hands slamming down onto his own desk with a loud slap. He was officially fed up with you, having to hear the small remarks you let slip under your breath at literally anything he did or said today was pissing him off because he had done absolutely nothing to you.
His harsh tone snaps you out of your small grumpy haze, a pout forms on your lips as you sink into your chair and slowly spin to face him. The way you look in your chair cracks him, a smirk spreading across his face when he sees the dramatic change in emotion, “Are you on your period or something?” He teases.
That makes you sit up straight again, the scowl returning on your face as you stare him down, “I’m going to ignore how demeaning that question is, but for your information no, I’m not due until the 22nd you asshole.” You let your head hang back over the chairs headrest, the thoughts of the awaiting night flashing through your head, “I’m just dreading having to go help Jimin fulfill his wish of making his parents stare at us in horror.”
Yoongi hums at that, a curious look on his face as he just waits until you lift your head back up to give him another glance, “What?”
He only gives you a shrug, his eyebrows raising up softly as he sneaks a glance at the calendar icon on his computer screen that says its currently the 28th, “The 22nd huh?” That doesn’t give him a reaction at all, your mind was whirling too much from everything consuming your life so it doesn’t register, “Y/N, are you with child?”
That gives him the reaction he was hoping, your eyes bulging out as you whip back around to grab your phone from its place beside the computer. “Shut up,” you choke out, your now shaky hands unlocking the device and going directly for the period tracking app you had, the loading screen taking its sweet time until it finally opens up. The small dot on the circle calendar that shows your typical ovulation cycle and period cycle is now hovering a little past the date you were supposed to be starting said period.
“Oh god, can you imagine the offspring you and Taehyung would create, demon child I tell you.”
You only give him a weak laugh as you lock your phone again, late periods were fine, it’s not like they never happened to you before. Plus you were on birth control, always on top of making sure you took it at the same exact time everyday, even taking the placebo pills to not fall out of routine. But that sinking feeling still lingers in your gut, the realization that you and Taehyung actually hadn’t slept together since the night he asked you out on a date, how he had used a condom and finished on your face. Then comes the small flashes of the two mistakes you made on halloween night, fucking Jungkook without a condom and begging him to cum inside you.
“Yeah.” Is all you can muster out at his comment, he takes note of the forced smile on your face and can tell you’re starting to panic a little and he’s not sure why since the amount of times you’ve let Taehyung bust inside you has lead to one other pregnancy scare before. But when your now glassy eyes come back up to look at him, his own face falls, the unspoken question hanging in the air.
Was it Taehyung’s?
That same question haunts you the entire night, as you get to Jimin’s apartment and finish getting ready with him, the both of you decked out in expensive outfits that are down right insulting, not even him joking with you as you got into the car was enough to get you out of your head.
Jimin takes note of this, more so when you both arrive at the event, the way you cling onto his arm like you do during these things is normal but the way your eyes focus on the floor or chandeliers with a spaced out look on your face is not the norm.
The way you float along side him as he talks to the majority of the people here, this being one of the rules his parents give him that he respects, you barely speak up. Its a stark contrast from the way you two usually behave at these events, he’s used to the way you add on the small white lies he tells, how meeting new people was exciting because you could come up with a brand new scandalous story on how you two met. Jimin refrains from that today, the spacey look on your face only making him worry.
It’s not until two of the shareholders he’s currently speaking to, out of formality, start to give you weird glances, possibly wondering if you were under the influence of something from how out of it you looked, that Jimin respectfully excuses the two of you.
His arm wraps around your waist as he leads you towards the hallway, out of earshot from the nosey guests here and the way you let him drag you away without any complaints only worries him further. When the soft music no longer reaches your ears you seem to come back, your eyes blinking as you focus back in on where you are, seeing Jimin stood in front of you with his hands on your shoulders as he presses you against the wall gently.
“Are you on anything?” He asks softly, his head peaking down to stare up at you, your eyes aren’t hazy anymore but its clear your mind still isn’t fully tuned in, “Y/N, you gotta let me know if you took something ‘cause you’re kind of scaring me sweetheart.”
His hands come up to cup your cheeks, turning your face up to properly look at him and something about the way he stares at you, worry clear on his face and his lips pursed in concern, snaps something inside of you. Your eyes well up with tears, your lower lip trembling slightly as your face crumbles, hot tears spilling past your lashes and splashing against his hands still on your face.
“Jimin, I’m so fucked.” You garble out, the confession only making you cry harder which in turn makes Jimin even more worried. A few people attending the outrageous event pass you two in the hallway, giving you an odd glance but Jimin just glares at them, moving his body to cover you properly as you have a breakdown.
“What’s wrong?” His mind is desperately trying to remember if he saw you take anything, maybe you had drank something spiked, it could be a combination of things. “Did you drink too much champagne?” He tries to make light of the situation but his words only make you grip the lapels of his suit and tug him closer to you, burying your face into the black material.
Another sob leaves you, his hands wrapping around your body and holding you close, “Jimin.” You whine out, your voice sounding so broken and helpless and he knows something more serious is wrong. He glances behind him, into the full room, everyone mingling around with glasses in their hand and he spots his mom, grasping another flute of champagne as she stares directly at him and you.
She has the ever present disapproving stare on her face, watching her son holding you as you cry in a hallway. A few of the guests had jokingly mentioned your behavior to her in passing and the last thing she needed to hear was that her son and you were currently on drugs.
Jimin watches as she shakes her head and makes her way to another group of people, his jaw tensing at her judgmental gaze, “C’mon, lets get out of here.” He speaks to you softly, his fingers patting your head to get you to calm down, your breath hiccuping until you even it out slowly.
“O-okay, I’m sorry.”
He shushes you with a smile, grabbing your hand and leading you towards the back entrance of the building, “No, don’t be, I’ve been wanting to blow this joint for an hour now.”
Jimin knows he’s going to get the lecture of a lifetime for leaving but a couple of threats about his money being taken away seemed less important than his best friend having a mental breakdown. You let him drag you along the hallway, your other hand wiping underneath your eyes to try to fix your appearance any way you could.
By the time you two make it outside Jimin had already messaged the driver his parents had provided him with for the night, the black car already being parked out back. When you slip inside Jimin just asks him to take you both home, his fingers pushing the button to bring the partition up and you sink into the seat, avoiding his gaze.
The carpeted floors seems infinitely more interesting than you admitting to why you were absolutely losing your mind, you didn’t want say it out loud, scared that letting the words fill the air would somehow make them truthful. If you actually were with child like Yoongi had so kindly put it you wouldn’t know what to do, this had happened once before with Taehyung but you had gotten your period before you were even able to take a test so it had become kind of a joke.
But this, yeah this wasn’t funny, the possibility of being pregnant after sleeping with Jungkook when you two weren’t even talking any more was a nightmare and nothing could make this a laughing matter.
“You fucking scared me.” Jimin admits, resting his elbows on his knees as he leans forward in his seat, the layout of the car letting him directly face you. “Thought you took too many downers, you looked so out of it.”
You finally look up at him, your eyes red and burning from your tears and the mascara that bled into them, your cheeks are puffy and streaked up, a frown on your face when you see how sincere he looks. You hadn’t meant to scare him, you didn’t even realize how you were acting and the way anyone would perceive it. “I’m sorry.”
He waves off your apology, he didn’t need it, he was just relieved you had stopped crying, “Tell me what’s wrong.” Jimin watches as you chew on your bottom lip, your hands fidgeting on your lap as you give him a lame shrug. He stays silent, not wanting to speak until you fess up.
“I think,” You start, taking in a deep breath while your thumb scraped the nail polish off your index finger, “I might be pregnant.”
Jimin, much like Yoongi, knows how to keep his reactions in check, his face doesn’t move a muscle while he stares at you thoughtfully. His mind however is currently freaking out, trying to flick through any possible response he could give you that won’t end up making you cry again.
“Have you taken a test?”
Shake.
“Okay, have you told Taehyung?”
The silence that fills the car at his second question lasts for what seems like forever, the way your face twists up at his name, your eyes once again filling up with tears as you stare at your best friend. That same unspoken question hanging in the air.
Was it Taehyung’s?
Jimin doesn’t need you to answer it, the look on your face is confirmation enough, your words inside the event and the way you clung to him as you cried was more than enough. He brings the partition down a crack and tells the driver to stop at a convenience store nearby instead, telling him to drop you guys off there and that you’d walk home since his apartment wasn’t far from there.
The pair of you must look like a sight, Jimin dressed in his black Armani suit while you stood in a black Alexander McQueen dress he had forced you to wear, it would look picture worthy if your under eyes weren’t caked in mascara and you weren’t standing in the aisle that held pregnancy tests. Jimin hovers beside you for a moment as you stare at all the different options, stepping aside for a minute only to come back with a small green basket that was full of different things.
You’re clutching onto a pink box that promised to let you know 6 days sooner, your eyes glancing down at the basket he held, “What’s all that?”
He lifts it up higher with a smile, “Well, tissues and your favorite comfort snacks in case you...you know,” he gestures with his hand, also not wanting to speak the cursed words out loud, “and alcohol to celebrate if you’re not.”
As you stare at the items you feel the urge to vomit out of nerves, the possibility of not being able to celebrate is very probable. Your hand clutches the box with more force, bending the cardboard material slightly. Jimin reaches out and peels it out of your grasp, taking it upon himself to reach past you and grab two more tests from different brands and stuffing them in the basket as well.
“I think you should call him.”
Thats all he tells you, a sympathetic smile on his face as he walks around you to go pay for everything, leaving you in the middle of the aisle. The lump in your throat is back again, your hands twitching by your side at the thought of having to talk to him. As much as you don’t want to see him, or talk to him, you know Jimins right. In the off chance that you were...you know... it would make sense to have him there, he was partially responsible so it wasn’t fair that you’d be the only one suffering through this.
With much hesitation you reach into your small crossbody purse and pull out your phone, the screen lighting up instantly and showing you the recent messages Taehyung had sent you, asking you when you’d be home from the event along with an invitation to watch movies at his dorm since Jungkook wouldn’t be there.
When you read his name your brows furrow, why wouldn’t he be there? If he was out with friends would he even want to talk to you, would he even care, the Jungkook you knew before would but you weren’t even sure if that was still the case. You opt for sending him a text, simple and to the point, it would give him the option of reading it and responding instead of having a forced conversation on the phone.
You unblock his number and open up your thread of messages, not being able to delete the entire thing after blocking him. After sending the message you lock your phone and stuff it back into your bag.
Y/N 11:28pm
We need to talk, it’s important.
On the receiving end of things Jungkook is stood in the backyard of a party Eunwoo had forced him to go to, his room mate Moonbin was currently trying to force him to chug whatever concoction was in his cup.
“No, I’m good–“ Jungkook mumbles against the plastic, Moonbin not caring as he tips the cup up, the cold liquid hitting his lips as he squeezes them shut, spilling out and down his face, successfully soaking his shirt in the strong liquor.
Moonbin just laughs, pulling the cup away, his eyes looking at the large wet patch on Jungkook’s chest, “Oh shit, I’m sorry.”
Eunwoo rolls his eyes, playfully shoving his friends shoulder while Jungkook shakes his head, “It’s alright, I’ma just,” he motions his hand towards the house again, the both of them nodding in understanding.
Jungkook slips his way in between people, a small grimace on his face as he feels the way his shirt now sticks to his skin as he makes his way towards the bathroom. He didn’t know why he agreed to come to this party, he didn’t hate parties, but he was used to going to them with your group. They seemed less intimidating when he was surrounded by seven extra people, and as much as he liked Eunwoo and Moonbin, he didn’t feel entirely comfortable in this environment with them.
When he manages to get into the bathroom, luckily not occupied by lovers, he grabs a fist full of toilet paper, peeling his shirt off of his chest and wiping the excess moisture from his skin. His white shirt is officially ruined, stained a faint red color and reeking of–his lifts it up to his nose and sniffs–vodka he thinks?
After tossing the soiled napkins he rests against the sink, fishing his phone out of his pocket to glance at the time and when he sees your name flashing on his home screen he momentarily wonders if he had in fact drank the poison Moonbin has spilled on him.
You messaged him. You had unblocked his number. You wanted to talk, and apparently it was important.
He slides the message open, his fingers hovering over the screen as he thinks of how to properly respond. A loud bang comes from the door and he flinches, “Hold on!” He shouts out, typing out a one words response of where before hitting send and exiting the bathroom.
Jungkook ignores the man stood by the bathroom door, shoving past him and through the bodies of everyone in the living room as he heads for the front door. He doesn’t bother letting his friends know that he’s leaving, already out of the house and walking down the street of a neighborhood he wasn’t familiar with.
His phone is clutched in his hand as he walks, the two short vibrations making him pause as he brings it up to his face, seeing you tell him to meet you at Jimin’s as soon as he could.
You’re sat on Jimin’s couch, your phone resting on his coffee table, the screen lit up after you read the message Jungkook had sent ten minutes ago, confirmation that he was on his way. Jimin was stood in his kitchen, trying to occupy himself while the both of you waited, he had been opening and closing his cabinets and rearranging whatever was inside them for a few minutes now, the constant slamming of the wood would normally get to you but right now your eyes were just glued on the three tests resting beside your phone. They were still in their boxes, you could have taken them before Jungkook got here but you didn’t have it in you.
So when you hear three brisk knocks coming from Jimin’s front door you shoot up from your spot, ramming your shin on the coffee table in your haste to get to the door. You bend over with a groan, clutching your leg in pain while Jimin beats you to it, opening the door with a gentle greeting.
His face scrunches up when he catches a whiff of Jungkook, his hand waving in front of his face as his eyes catch onto the wet spot on his shirt, “Fun night?”
Jungkook looks down at his shirt as well, “No, not really.”
He steps inside and spots you stood by the couch, not exactly sure how you should greet each other. He takes notice of your outfit, the black dress looking elegant on you even without your heels on, and he briefly remembers you mentioning the event Jimin needed you to come with him to, “You look nice in that dress.” He can’t stop himself from complimenting you, even though it makes you squirm as you stand there.
You ignore the compliment entirely, rolling your lips together as you take a look down at the coffee table, reaching for one of the boxes and holding it close to your chest. Jungkook follows the motion, his head tilting slightly until his eyes decipher whats written on the box, “I might be pregnant.”
It takes him a minute, his mind wondering why you could have possibly text him to come talk about this, and then he’s also remembering the two dreadful mistakes that happened halloween night. The way he had no complaints about fucking you raw, the idea of cumming inside you spurring him on and he can’t believe he had let himself act that stupid.
Jungkook takes the few steps necessary to reach you, standing a foot in front of you with his eyes wide in that same classic Jungkook way, “Have you taken it yet?”
“No, I was waiting for you to get here.” He watches as your face grimaces, your fingers pinching your nose as the stench of vodka hits it, “You reek, are you drunk?”
He shakes his head immediately, his fingers pulling the damp fabric again and Jimin takes sympathy on him, pushing away from his spot lingering by the door to go to his room and fetch him a clean shirt to wear, coming out with a black shirt. He tosses it at Jungkook wordlessly before announcing that he’d be leaving to give the two of you some privacy.
You force yourself to look away while Jungkook yanks the liquor soaked shirt off of himself, not giving him a glance until he’s dressed again in your friend’s clothes. “Sorry, my friend spilt his drink on me before I left.”
That didn’t matter, you honestly didn’t care if he was drunk or not, this might be a little easier if the both of you were drunk. Your fingernails start to wedge underneath the seal of the box, peeling the cardboard flap open. Jungkook reaches forward and grabs the second test on the coffee table, his trembling hands mimicking your actions. His mind was currently blank, not yet coming to terms with the fact that you could be pregnant with his child. He couldn’t think about that right now, maybe in a bit he’d feel the dread that usually comes with this but for right now all he heard in his head was static.
“Are you gonna take all three?”
You toss the empty box onto the table, holding one of the small plastic sticks in your hand, rotating it in your grasp with uncertainty, “Maybe? Should I take two and save one for tomorrow just in case?”
Jungkook doesn’t know, he’s completely clueless on what to do but he finds himself nodding because sure, leaving one test up for chance for tomorrow morning seemed to ease some of the anxiety off your face. “Yeah, yeah that sounds good.”
“Okay.”
When he pulls out the remaining test he feels the first hint of fear creep up his spine, the plastic feels heavy in his grasp, these stupid flimsy things held the answer on whether both of your lives would change or not. His brows push together as he reads the blue font on the edge of the stick, his mind now thinking of the what ifs.
He wants to throw up.
The sound of you walking towards the bathroom makes him look up from the test, seeing you standing at the edge of the hallway with an expectant look on your face, “Do you want me to come with you?” He manages to ask even though his throat feels dry.
You hold the test tighter in your hands, “Can you, I’m sorry I’m just kind of scared.”
Jungkook stands up straight, forcing his nerves away because you were whats important right now, he nods at you as he makes his way towards you, “Yeah, of course.” You thank him silently, hearing him trailing behind you as you enter Jimin’s bathroom, catching sight of yourself in his mirror and cringing at how you looked.
You set the two tests on the countertop, your eyes analyzing them, picking out the first one with the pink cap on the top of it. Jungkook can only stand there, watching as you walk towards the toilet thats right beside the sink, the dress you wear is long enough to fully cover you as you reach underneath it and tug your underwear down but he still finds himself looking away. He chooses to haul himself onto the countertop, a few feet away from you with his eyes glued to the obscure photo Jimin had hung up on the wall.
He hears the shuffling of your dress as you pick the material up around you, trying your best to bunch it up as you uncap the test and awkwardly wedge it between your thighs when you finally sit down. The idea of peeing in front of Jungkook, on a pregnancy test nonetheless, feels too domestic, too out of place for your current situation but it needs to be done.
You thank Jimin for forcing you to chug as much water as you did before he got here, your urge to pee aiding in the task. After a few seconds you pull the test out from between your legs, handing the plastic part to Jungkook and he hands you the second test, already uncapped as he sets the first one down gently on the black granite.
No words are exchanged as you do this, you just needed him here with you so you wouldn’t feel so alone, whatever you were feeling you knew he was feeling too and as much as you knew Jimin would be there for you, he wouldn’t be able to relate to these emotions right now.
Once the second test is done with and you’re no longer sat on the toilet, patting your hands dry after washing them you stand there, nibbling on your lip as Jungkook sets a timer for five minutes on his phone, “I can’t stand here and wait.”
He agrees, stepping his way out of the bathroom and motioning for you to follow him back out to the living room, plopping down onto the end of the couch. You walk around the coffee table, sitting on the opposite end of the same couch, bringing your legs up to clutch your knees to your chest as you rest your head on the back of the couch.
Five minutes feels like forever, the two of you lost in thought as his phone counts down the minutes. You can see Jungkook’s face, the way his hands are raking through his hair nervously, his nose twitching ever so often as a million emotions cross his face. God you didn’t want to be pregnant, not like this. The thought makes tears mist your eyes again, it starts as a silent cry, one or two tears slipping down your face undetected but once the dam is broken you can’t contain the sniffles you let out.
That catches Jungkook’s attention, his head whipping over to look at you, balled in on yourself as you cried, your shoulders shaking with every gasped breath you took. Seeing you look so broken and scared makes him slide his way over, not letting his uncertainty stop him from wrapping his arms around your body and bringing you into his chest.
For a brief moment he thinks you’re going to shove him back, but your arms let go of your legs as you let Jungkook hold you close, hearing his own breathing stuttering as he tries to hold in the tears he desperately wants to shed. “What are we supposed to do?” You sob, feeling his hands gently rub your back as your own hands finally wrap around his frame, needing all the comfort you could take.
“I don’t know,” he admits softly, his jaw clenching when that only makes you cry harder, “whatever you wanna do.”
You don’t believe that, “Really?” You rasp out between gasps, “So if I am and want to keep it you’re fine with that?”
He nods, licking his lips in thought, “Yes, if that’s what you want.” His hands pull you in tighter, “Like I said, whatever you wanna do.” Jungkook wanted kids eventually, ideally when he was married and had a good job, but if this was the cards life gave him and you wanted to keep it then so be it. The thought of this happening was scary, the image of having to tell his parents, of having to rethink the five year plan he had, having to potentially become responsible for a tiny human was frightening but he wasn’t going to force you to do anything, especially when he could only imagine what thoughts were swimming in your head.
When your breathing evens out, your hands still holding him close, he can’t get himself to revel in it, to enjoy the feeling of you holding him like you don’t hate his guts because he knows its just because of this. After this was done you’d go back to hating him, regardless of the outcome so when his timer rings out he dreads having to let you go.
The two of you pull apart from each other, your hands weakly rubbing away the stray tears as you stare at him, seeing his face is just as red from the silent tears he managed to shed. You share a look, a deep breath being let out between the both of you, you couldn’t put this off any longer so you force yourself to get up and somberly make your way back to the bathroom.
The light was left on, both of the used tests being face down since you and Jungkook couldn’t bare to stare at the small countdown on the tiny screen, you and him stand at the doorway, the reflection on the mirror showing just how distraught and unprepared you are for whatever the results are.
“Should we each flip one over?” He suggests, his fingers twitching at his sides, just wanting to get it over with.
“Yeah. Let’s do that.”
He reaches for the pink capped test and you grab the blue one, your fingers lingering on the sides of it with uncertainty, “On three.” He begins, seeing you nod in the mirror as you stare down at the stick.
One.
Two.
Three.
The both of you flip the test over, mentally bracing yourself as your eyes make out the tiny words on the gray screen. A small gasp is shared between you two, eyes wide in disbelief you crane your neck over to read the words on the test Jungkook holds and he does the same, not wanting to react until you know they both say the same thing.
not pregnant
“Oh thank fuck.” He whispers out, the test falling out of his grasp and clattering against the floor. Jungkook crumbles against the sink, resting his weight on his elbows as his head hangs low. You let yourself finally take a breath, dropping your head back to stare at the ceiling with the test still clutched in your right hand. The turmoil in your brain halts for a second, no longer thinking of how your life is on a downward spiral just when it had finally seemed to fall together.
The bathroom is silent for a moment, the pair of you trying to compose yourselves from the roller coaster of emotions that transpired in the past 15 minutes. You weren’t pregnant, you weren’t going to become a mother and Jungkook wasn’t going to become a father. Thank fucking god.
“Would you really have let me keep it if I was?” You break the silence, leveling your head back down and staring at his hunched over frame, his own head peaking up to stare at you resting against the nearest wall of the bathroom.
“Yeah.” He admits quietly, sending you a small nod as he looks into your eyes with the utmost sincerity.
“Were you ready to be a dad?” You give him an incredulous look, once again not believing he’d be ready to uproot his entire life over one night together. Hell, you weren’t ready to be a mother, you were selfish and the only thing you were focused on was finishing school and not being in debt. Having a kid was not in your near future.
Jungkook stands up again, giving you a shrug and staring at the marble floors, “No, not at all,” The relief on his face is clear as he takes in a breath, “but considering I had no complaints about not wearing a condom I don’t think I’m in any place to tell you what to do with your body.”
That wasn’t an answer you had been expecting, and for a moment you’re reminded on the Jungkook you had developed a crush on, the one that was always so willing to sacrifice his own comfort to make his friends feel better. When you had been in this position with Taehyung, after knowing you were in the clear, you had text him asking him what he would have done if you were actually pregnant and all he had sent you was the cartoon meme of a lady tossing a child into the air like a basketball.
It had made you laugh because realistically, that would be the route you would take but hearing someone voice how it was indeed your choice was nice, comforting even. You’re grateful it didn’t have to come to that though, hypothetically you know what you would’ve done but if you actually were pregnant you’re not sure if that choice would change.
He stares at you again, seeing how your face looks at ease now, your eyes focused on your feet pressed against the cool marble floors. “I’m sorry.” He begins, scared of where this conversation would lead to but he needed to suck it up, he had to properly apologize to you. If you shouted at him and threw him out afterwards he could live with that, as long as he was finally able to speak to you.
“That I’m not pregnant?”
“No,” he shakes his head, resting his back on the wall adjacent to the sink, seeing the realization sink into your face at what he was apologizing for, “I’m sorry for handling my emotions the way I did. For focusing on myself and not thinking of how it would affect you.”
A tiny scowl makes it way across your face, your free hand curling into a fist at your side but he looks about ready to barf so you let him continue, “I was scared of how our relationship would change after that morning, which sounds stupid now considering thats exactly what ended up happening because of me.” He’s forcing himself to maintain eye contact, not wanting to look away from you, “It was never my intention to make you feel like I was using you.”
He sees the flash of anger in your eyes at his words right before you bite, “How the hell did you think I would feel after that Jungkook? We sleep together and you immediately drop me, what did I do for you to treat me like that, should I not have asked you to have breakfast after?”
“No, god no. You didn’t do anything.” He wants to bang his head against the drywall, wanting to release his inner frustrations out on himself, “It was all me, I could feel the crush I had on you growing and I knew you didn’t want a relationship so I didn’t want to confess and then put you in an uncomfortable position. My friend’s got in my head-”
“Do you not have a mind of your own?”
He stops mid sentence, his head tilting slightly at your words, “What?”
You stand up straighter against the wall, your arms crossing under your chest while you glare at him, “You’re telling me that instead of doing what you wanted to do, you rely on whatever the hell your friends told you. The same friends that called me a slut I’m assuming.”
His face scrunches up at that, an apologetic look on it as he sighs, “I’m sorry-”
The hand you raise up stops him from apologizing again, “I don’t want to hear that, whatever you say now won’t change the fact that you did nothing when I needed you to.” He could say sorry a million times for the way his friend acted, tell you he fought him or yelled at him for what he said, none of that mattered because he had stayed silent in front of you. “I just want to know what they could’ve said that convinced you that treating me like this had a better outcome than admitting to a crush.”
Jungkooks eyes drop back down to the floor, landing on the forgotten pregnancy test laying beside his feet, the tip of his shoes pushing the plastic on the floor. He wants to go back to that day, he knows what his friends said shouldn’t have influenced him because he knew you, but the way they hounded him made him doubt everything. He had already been so unsure of the way he was reading things and their reaction just made him feel like he had no idea how to behave in situations that they claimed were regular occurrences for them.
“They told me I was stupid for thinking of telling you how I feel, that there was no way you’d see this as more than one night because you have Taehyung, to just let it go because you didn’t view sex the same way I probably did.”
His words just make you frown, “Jungkook, was I ever a bad friend to you?”
He shakes his head, his courage gone, no longer being able to look at you.
“Did I ever make you feel uncomfortable?”
Once again he shakes his head.
“So then why did you think you couldn’t talk to me. You know me better than any of your friends do, why were their opinions of me more important than yours?”
“I don’t know, but they shouldn’t have been. I was just scared of admitting my feelings.”
A sigh leaves your lips, you weren’t in the mood to shout at him, or argue, you were emotionally drained for the night. “You wanna know why I liked you Jungkook?”
He finally looks up again, his eyes dimming slightly at the word liked, past tense, you had liked him. “You’ve always been sweet to me, you trusted me enough to come to me for help, you always let us drag you along to places I could tell you didn’t want to be at just because you knew it would make one of us smile. Every time we hung out together I knew it was genuine, you were hanging out with me because you wanted to, not because you were expecting to get something out of it, but then you did this and it has me wondering if everything leading up to it was a lie.”
The hurt is evident on your face and Jungkook just wants to make it right, he doesn’t like being on the receiving end of this, “No I promise it wasn’t, I loved spending time with you, it wasn’t all for some end goal. You were the first person to make me feel comfortable in school.” He recalls the first day he saw you in your shared class, the way you had let him know he didn’t have to be wary talking to you, the open ended promise of a friendship before you parted ways.
“I literally gave you a black eye with my camera when I met you.”
“Yeah, but I deserved it right?”
That gets you to crack a smile, the way he scrunches up his face as he remembers the way your camera had felt when it sucker punched him in the face. He hadn’t deserved it, no one deserved to get a bloody nose and black eyes on their first day of college, you had just said that to hurt him.
“Yeah, you did.” You tease him, seeing the way he relaxes slightly when you let out a small laugh.
“I’m really sorry Y/N, I don’t expect you to forgive me, or not hate me anymore but I just needed you to know why I acted like a dumbass.”
The air falls silent once more, the both of you look utterly defeated, drained and vulnerable while you stand in the giant bathroom. You bring up the test that was still in your grasp, your lips pressing together as you reread the text. “Jungkook, you were ready to become a fucking dad, I don’t think I could totally hate your guts.”
Jungkook can feel his chest ache again, his hands clenching at his sides, urging the feeling to go away, he couldn’t think about the stupid seed of a crush still hanging on to his heart. The both of you had been through enough tonight, you admitting to not being able to hate him was good enough for him.
“Really?”
You push off the wall and toss the test into the trash bin by the toilet, Jungkook bends down and picks up the one on the floor, handing it to you as well. “Yeah really, you’re on thin ice though.”
The soft smile you give him makes him sigh in relief, “I’ll be on my best behavior. Scouts honor.”
You snort as you turn and walk out of the bathroom, hearing him flick the light off and follow you back out to the living room, you pass the coffee table and turn into the kitchen, pulling out the bottle of red wine Jimin had bought, grabbing the giant bag of chocolate chip cookies and wine opener as well before walking back out towards the couch.
Jungkook eyes the items in your hand, flopping onto the couch as you sit beside him, holding the bottle of wine between the two of you. You hand him the wine opener and he makes do, twisting the end of it into the cork and popping it open quickly, setting the device onto the coffee table, “To not becoming parents.”
The bottle is raised high between you as you smile, bringing it to your lips and taking a giant gulp of the fruity liquid, wiping your mouth as you hand it to Jungkook. He repeats what you do, taking a massive gulp and setting the bottle down with care, scared of spilling the red liquid on Jimin’s light couch.
To not becoming parents.
Somewhere in between finishing the bottle of wine, you find yourself sprawled out on the couch, your legs curled up by your chest with your head resting on Jungkook’s thigh. In turn his body is sinking into the couch, his head resting on the back of it, one of his hands laying on the arm rest while the other gently plays with your hair. You’re lazily munching on a cookie, the warm feeling of being wine drunk settled into your bones, Jungkook’s touch only aiding in making you feel sleepier.
“I think I’d be a really shitty mom.” You mumble out between chewing, your hand reaching down between your legs to stuff your hand into the cookie bag once more.
“What, why?”
Jungkook feels you shrug against his legs, “I don’t know, I’ve never really been maternal, kinda selfish.”
His eyes are shut, his cheeks are flushed and he feels warm but content, “Don’t say that, do you want kids?”
“Maybe, thats why it scares me though.” The thought of having a kid and being a lousy parent is what stopped you from visualizing a future with a family, you didn’t want to be a shitty mom. Flashes of the way you were raised flick behind your lids when you shut them, the strained relationship you have with your parents, the reality that some people really should’ve never become parents. The last thing you’d ever want to do is bring a child into the world and instead of nurturing it with unconditional love all you manage to do is tear them down.
“I think you’d be a great dad though.”
Your words are quieter now, your eyes slipping shut as he hums in thought. You could picture Jungkook as a dad, married to someone just as sweet as he was, living near the beach or somewhere suburban. He’d be the kind of dad who took his kids to all their sporting events, teaching them a little bit of everything because Jungkook had that talent. To think that might have been kickstarted tonight if things had gone differently.
“You think so?” Its a soft question, almost as if he hadn’t meant to voice it at all but you mumble out a yes in response, smiling once more when you hear him sigh gently, almost picturing the grin thats surely on his face.
Silence falls over you two again, and for a moment you think maybe he had fallen asleep since you weren’t too far from it, but his fingers continue to comb through your hair, “Are you with Taehyung now?” He asks shyly, he had heard about you going on dates and hanging out with him alone more often but he didn’t want to assume anything again, thats exactly what got him in this predicament in the first place.
“No, I’m not.” The words fall from your mouth instantly, almost as if you’re eager to let Jungkook know he had a chance, no matter how small, you want to blame it on the wine, on anything really, but you can’t deny that Jungkook had you charmed the minute you met him, the feeling only growing as you got to know him more.
His fingers freeze in your hair for a split second before continuing like your words had no affect on him. He smiles though, his lips curving up softly, his eyes blinking open and tilting his head down to stare at your drifting form, nuzzled onto his thighs in a way that made him forget the events that had happened these last few weeks.
When he doesn’t speak you take it upon yourself to tease him the way you knew best, “So, you had a crush on me huh?” Your words are mostly slurred together from sleep slowly taking over but he hears you clearly.
Expecting him to be bashful, scoff and deny it, pretend like he was over it but instead he sighs, his body sliding down the couch half an inch, the hand in your hand coming down to drape across your shoulder softly, “Yeah, I have a crush on you.”
The words replay in your head, the soft warmth in your chest spreading throughout you and you really can’t fault the alcohol for it, for the way you feel fuzzy at the confession of him still having a crush on you but you reel it in, shutting your eyes once more and humming in response. The two of you slowly drifting off on your best friends couch after the events of tonight, exhausted and relieved all at once.
When Jimin finally makes it back in a little before 1am he holds his breath, shutting the door softly when he makes out the shape of your silhouettes sleeping on the couch. His eyes lock onto the empty wine bottle and he feels his body sag in relief, thankful that you had drank the alcohol in celebration and he wouldn’t be walking into another scene of tears because he wasn’t sure he’d be able to hold his own back this time.
Jungkook looks boneless on his couch, his head hanging off the side with his mouth dropped open slightly, his hand is still draped across your shoulder while you sleep soundly on his thighs, the dress you wore to the event still on you and the two of you look like complete messes but Jimin still smiles.
He reaches out and grasps the empty bottle, gently pulling the bag of cookies from where its wedged between your legs, deciding to save the lecture on crumbs for tomorrow morning. As he pulls back, giving you and Jungkook another once over he freezes when he sees Jungkook’s bleary eyes blinking at him in confusion.
“Congrats.” Jimin teases softly, ruffling Jungkook’s hair with his free hand, seeing the soft smile that spreads across his face, his body sagging into the couch once more.
“Thanks.” He murmurs, adjusting the arm draped around you to go back to raking through your hair. Jimin and his eyes lock once more, a silent conversation between them and Jungkook understands and hopes that the second morning after plays out better than the last.
#btsghostie#jungkook angst#jungkook smut#taehyung smut#jeon jungkook#jungkook fluff#bts smut#bts fics
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anyway im so out of the loop on the mcelboys
i pretty much only keep semi-up to date with Sawbones at this point, not cuz i dont still LIKE everything else, just a lot has been goin on in my life
if anyone wants a long and rambly update on All Of The Bullshit im gonna stick a read more down here, asks are open and its cool to message me abt any of it if u want cuz i have some really nice and cool followers/mutuals here that make me comfy talkin abt that shit
as far as the future of this blog goes i wanna start using it more again! the mcelroys have gotten me out of some really dark places before so i hope having more connection to this community and the people here and their content again will help me like it has in the past! ill probs post more general mcelroy content here than previously rather than just taz btw i just gotta fuckin uhhhhh,,,, catch up on a bunch of shit again before this blog is even semi active lmaoo but im like alive and on tumblr regularly again!!
Wow u clicked on this and wanna hear me talk? Ur awesome and sweet, thanks for caring!
These past two years have been extraordinarily tough. This is gonna be a pretty long and detailed post that deals with the sensitive topics of emotional abuse, abusive relationships, and alcoholism. Please read on with caution.
Back in March of 2019, so this was about 3-4 months after i left tumblr, I got a new boyfriend and things started out really good, he was kind of a "bad boy" and it was fun at first. Im kind of a goody-goody so it was very interesting for me at first to be with someone so different who had such different life experiences than me. I liked hearing his stories of living in a traphouse, and running with gangs, and selling drugs, and knowing people who had killed people. I assumed a LOT of it was lies, obviously, who just brags about that shit u know? I just rolled with it, didnt take it seriously, and found the imagined scenarios interesting to listen to. So much of it was obviously played up to make him seem cooler, and I shouldve seen that as the red flag it was, and all my friends did but I didnt.
He had a serious alcohol problem, I mean I had coffee in the morning and he had 2 four lokos before noon. it was bad. about 6 months into the relationship he decided i was cheating on him with my ex who i had recently reconnected with, we missed being friends and things were really going well talking and being friends again, he was really important to me! but my boyfriend saw this as yet another thing i was doing wrong. when he decided i was cheating, that become his focus of alcoholic rage. nearly every time he got drunk, which was several times a week, he would accuse me of things, he would yell and scream, he would call me horrible names and make me cry for literal hours, he never hit me but that shouldnt even matter, i was emotionally battered and mentally bruised and everything hurt. he gaslit me into believing i said and did things i never said or did, i admitted to things that were not real, and then i was yelled at for admitting them. i didnt know what to do.
he was threatening my ex too, he would get drunk and say he knew where he lived (he didnt) or he knew what car he drove (he didnt) and explained to me many times that although he had never killed someone, people had been killed before at his command. he said a bullet in the back of my ex’s brain was just a phone call and $500 away. somedays he would tell me he was just going to do it himself, with a hammer, or a kitchen knife, or whatever weapon he could get his hands on during his explanation of how he would do it. my only option was to agree, to say it didnt matter to me what happened to him, i had to pretend my on
/ly concern was him going to jail for the crime, if i showed any sign that i didn’t want my ex murdered, it clearly meant i was cheating on him.
i pretended to block my ex on social media to get him off my back and it worked a little bit but he still brought it up. and even if he didnt directly mention him, he would always tell me when he was drunk that i was the cause of all his problems, i was why he was so self conscious, i was why he drank so much, i was why he had to work so hard, i was why every single issue he had was happening. logically i knew it was wrong, but i was so conditioned to it by then that i just went with it. i knew that agreeing and apologizing made the fighting end quicker.
things spiraled this past summer. his job needed us to relocate so we moved like 4 states away, away from all my family and friends, and lived in a tiny hotel room for a month. during this time, his drinking was somehow worse. he was drunk literally every night but he was passing out so we didnt fight and i was relieved. i was depressed being stuck in the hotel room all day alone, but thankful i wasnt being abused at least. then he started getting into drunken fistfights with his coworkers in the hotel parking lot. one day he came home just in time to find one of his drunk coworkers trying to break into the room with me there desperately trying to keep him out. i was terrified and wanted to go home but he convinced me to stay. a couple weeks after that we travelled for his work again several more states away. his drinking got a little bit better here, but i was so depressed and lonely, i was so isolated, he was all i saw day in and day out besides his coworkers and i was nervous around them. one day the guy who tried to break in on me, purposefully, while drunk, hit another coworkers car and totaled it and tried to run the guy over and i saw the whole thing. a week later my boyfriend was also fired because he got so drunk he passed out in the hotel parking lot and the company needed to save face with the hotel after the whole car incident.
so we travelled back home, but not my home, to his where we lived isolated on a mountain with no phone signal or wifi. the house was old and not well kept from being empty for several years, half the appliances didnt work. i was more isolated than i have ever been in my life. for 4 months i stayed there and just dreaded him coming home because i knew he would be drunk again and he'd yell or accuse me of things or otherwise belittle me. it was horrible. my friends all said to leave and my parents said to leave but i was so brainwashed into thinking that if i was just a good little housewife and if i just stayed home and did the dishes and the laundry that he would be nicer but he still found things to point at and say i was cheating. he was also becoming really controlling about my food intake and weight and i already struggle with an eating disorder so that just made me feel even more like i had to stay, my brain felt like if i wasnt under his watchful eye id gain weight again, like somehow it was thanks to him i had lost weight and not my own choices.
one day last week i expressed to him wanting to leave, saying how unhappy i was, i told him how sad i felt and how i didnt think we were such a good match. he didnt take me seriously, so the next day when he got sloppy drunk before 5 pm i packed a small bag and went to my moms. i was just gonna stay for a night or two but he called and screamed at me for leaving without telling him, i told him he just didnt remember me telling him because he was so drunk, and he accused me of not caring about his feelings and made me sound like the bad guy for leaving without his permission. i told him it was just for a few days but the angrier he got the more i knew i was in the right and told him i was done. i told him we were breaking up and id come get my stuff soon.
i got my stuff while he was at work this past weekend and moved in with my best friend. im safe and happy now. things are looking so much better for me and im so thankful to my friends and family who supported me all the way to the end.
i just wanted to make this post because, i know its not mcelroy related, and a lot of ppl probably dont care for stuff like this on this kind of blog, but i think its important.
its important to friends and family of people in abusive relationships to be steady. dont give up your ground. even if the person keeps pushing back and wont leave the person, keep being there for them, it can take a long time, it took me almost 2 years to leave, it takes some people even longer, but just stay there for them and be there for them when they finally make that step. dont give up on them.
and to those who have been in these kinds of relationships, and especially those who are there right now: it is not your fault. it is so, so hard to leave, i know, but please try to find help and support and resources to do it. if all your friends dont like someone, theres a good reason for it. please dont fall into the trap of thinking your friends dont have the best intentions for you. there are so many things you may overlook in the moment that others can see from a mile away are horrible. especially if you have been abused in the past. its incredibly hard to tell what is a red flag when your gut instinct is that anything and everything is a red flag. surround yourself with people who you can trust and listen to them
and trust me, i know how hard it is when youre stuck in that spot of KNOWING you should go but fearing that first step away. its scary. its difficult. but it is worth it. find someone safe you can be with. and if you arent sure, find a reason to leave for just a few days, an excuse, anything. give yourself space from the abuser, tell yourself youre going back in a couple days, just get out from under the thumb long enough to clear your head and things will make more sense with the fog lifted.
when i first got in my car and put my kitten on my lap and told her we were going to my moms for a couple nights, i didnt know if that was the truth. i planned to come back and i knew i didnt want to. i only took enough stuff for a couple days. i couldnt imagine my life changing so drastically. where would i live? how would i make money? who take care of me? i had no clue about any of those things. but after a couple days away I realized i would take care of me. i remembered that i had worked jobs before i was with him, i could do it again. i remembered that i had options of where to live. all of those things were so clouded when i was with him, they felt like impossibilities. once i was away, even just for a short time, things were so much easier to parse.
and i know i had many privileges in this journey not everyone is afforded, and my heart goes out to those who read this and are in this situation and the options i had just arent accessible to you, i am so sorry, i wish i had something more to offer you but all i have is my story, and a wish that it gives you some hope at the very least, and a promise that if you need someone to talk to, im here, i will listen, and you will be heard and loved.
i just want everyone who reads to take something small but important away from it. love your friends, love yourself. please stay safe. please dont give up. remember love should not hurt.
#angus.txt#getting deep in here but it felt good to write#i love u all so much ok pls be good urselves
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6:13pm
Pairing: Chan/Reader
Word Count: 2.2k
Tags: Lingerie, tail plug, oral sex, face-sitting, begging, riding, sub!Chan, dom!Reader, female reader
A/N: I have a few more of my own prompts that I’m gonna slip into smutmas so that I can get myself back on track easier lmao, the next two ill post will be my own so stay tuned for that if ur a fan of Jae’s hands or being mean to Jisung bc those are my main 2 interests lmaoo
Smutmas Masterlist
AO3 Link
Chan had woken up a few hours after you had left for work this morning, he always missed you while you were at work but today was different. He was needier, not wanting to bother you while you were working he did his best to distract himself until there was about an hour left until you would be home and he just couldn’t take it anymore. He had begun to prepare for when you got home, starting by hopping in the shower and using his favorite coconut and vanilla scented body wash. After his shower he grabbed his collar, gray tail plug, and matching gray cat ears. He made quick work of prepping himself for the plug, not wanting to linger on it and make himself cum on accident. Once the plug was in place he put the ears on his head and the collar around his neck. He looked at himself in the mirror admiring the way the ears looked in his hair before deciding that he was missing something. He rummaged through his lingerie drawer before pulling out the Christmas outfit you had bought him last year. He slipped on the red thong, adjusting himself so that the head of his cock just poked out of the waistband before slipping into the red fur-trimmed skirt complete with a black belt. He tied the matching bralette onto himself before turning back to the mirror and trying to get the santa hat to sit on his head without disturbing his ears.
He smiled once he got it situated before checking the time and realizing you were due home any minute. He hopped onto the bed and got onto his knees, sitting back on his heels. He moved the end of the tail around his leg so that you would see it when you walked in before placing his hands obediently on his thighs. He straightened up as soon as he heard the door open, the telltale signs of you dropping your bag to the floor and slipping out of your shoes echoing through the otherwise silent apartment.
You called out to him, you paused waiting for a response and when none came you figured he must have been sleeping. Deciding that a nap sounded really nice after the stressful day you had at work you headed straight into the bedroom. Opening the door your knees went weak at the sight of Chan dressed so prettily and sitting so obediently on the bed. "Oh, kitten," you said as you walked up to the edge of the bed, "Did you do all this for me?" you asked.
He nodded quickly, “Yes Miss, I was hoping you would take care of me.” he said looking up at you hopefully.
“Cute.” you cooed as you brought one hand up to his cheek holding his face gently while your other hand made its way down to the tail. You tugged on it gently making Chan bite his lip and dig his nails into his thighs to keep himself from squirming around. “You’re such a good kitten.” you said with a smile, “Did you get all worked up putting your tail in?” you asked softly.
“I tried not to pleasure myself too much, Miss, I know I didn’t have permission.” he sad looking down like he was worried you would be upset with him.
“Have you touched yourself at all today?”
“No, Miss, I was waiting for you.”
“Good boy.” you said, letting go of his tail before slipping your hand underneath the front of his skirt. You traced the outline of his cock through his underwear making him twitch and let out a small whine, “I think you deserve a reward.” you said.
“Thank you Miss.” he responded with a happy sigh as you switched to fully palming him through the fabric.
“What would you like your reward to be?” you asked, moving the hand that was on his cheek up to pluck the santa hat off of his head and toss it to the side so you could run your fingers through his hair.
“I get to choose, Miss?” he asked, eyes wide with excitement.
“You’ve been so good, kitten, I think it’s only fair that you get whatever you want today.”
He smiled, “Miss, can you, uhm, can you ride me?” he asked, looking up at you hopefully.
You smiled back at him, "Of course, kitten." you pulled your hands off of him and stepped away before walking to the closet to rummage through your box of toys and pull out the cuffs. "Lay down, kitten." you instructed, moving back to him. You waited until he got comfortable before fastening the cuffs around his wrists and bringing his arms up to connect them around one of the poles on your headboard. He tugged at them gently to test how it felt while you ran your hands over his body, occasionally you used your nails leaving soft red lines all over his skin.
He let out a soft whine, "More, please." he begged. You smirked and slipped your hands underneath his bralette, you tweaked his nipples making his back arch off of the bed. You moved your hands down beneath his skirt and shifted his thong to the side, admiring the way his erection pushed up the fabric of the skirt. You pulled your hands out from underneath the skirt, setting one on his thigh and the other one on his cock through the skirt. You squeezed your hand around him moving across his erection the drag of the fabric making him hiss. He squirmed beneath you his toes curling from the stimulation, "Miss.." he whined his hips twitching slightly.
"What is it, kitten?" you asked.
"Please, Miss, I've been ready all day."
"Such a needy kitten." you cooed. You pulled back, slipping your clothes off and tossing them into a pile on the floor before climbing onto the bed and straddling his waist. You put your hand on the bed behind you and leaned back giving him a good view of your pussy as you pressed your fingers to your clit.
He watched entranced as you pleasured yourself, "Please, Miss, please I need you please." he whined tugging at his restraints.
"Aw, kitten, you want to be the one to get me off?" you asked, he nodded quickly. You smiled before removing your hand from yourself, you made your way up his body before turning around and placing your knees on either side of his head. "Beg for it." you instructed before reaching down and dragging your fingers along your pussy, collecting some of your wetness before shoving them into his mouth. He whined and sucked them clean before attempting to beg around your fingers, the words tumbling out as a garbled mess. You chuckled before pulling your fingers out of his mouth and wiping his spit off on his cheek.
"Please, Miss, please let me eat you out let me make you feel good please Miss." he begged.
"Good boy." you said softly before lowering yourself close enough for him to reach you. You sighed contentedly as he licked a stripe down your folds, "I'll ride you after you make me cum." you said and he let out a whine. You felt him pick up the pace now desperate to make you cum so he could get his reward. You reached up to flip up his skirt revealing his erection, you ghosted your hand over his length watching the way his thighs tensed at even the slightest touch. He moaned as you wrapped your hand around his dick the vibrations making you let out a soft moan in response. You stroked him slowly, keeping your grip loose and teasing while your other hand gripped the base of the tail moving the plug gently and making him squirm beneath you.
Every noise he made as you teased him pushed you closer to the edge, he was working hard with his tongue switching between pushing it into your entrance and swirling it around your clit. Soon enough he pushed you over the edge, his movements slowed as he worked you through your orgasm, your thighs clenching around his head. You lifted yourself off of him, turning around and going back to straddling his waist you groaned as you saw his face slick with your juices."Such a messy kitty." you said as he licked his lips.
"Do I get my reward now, Miss?" he asked.
"Yes of course you do." you said with a smile before leaning over to the bedside table and pulling a condom out of the drawer. You tore open the packaging and moved back so you were over his dick before slipping the condom onto him and lining him up with your entrance. "You ready kitten?" you asked as you dragged the head of his dick along your pussy occasionally letting him catch at the entrance but not letting him push inside.
"Yes Miss, please, I'm ready, please ride-" he cut himself off with a moan as you sank down on his length. The stimulation was a little uncomfortable so soon after your orgasm but it was worth it to see the way he lost himself in the feeling of you clenching around him.
"What do you say, kitten?"
"Thank you, Miss." he breathed out, letting out another moan as you began to move.
You put your hands on his chest to support yourself as you lifted up and sank back down. You kept your pace steady, not wanting to tire yourself out too quickly. He began to buck his hips up, entirely too lost in the pleasure to remember his manners, normally you would punish him for being impatient but you decided to let him enjoy his reward. "Go ahead kitten, I'll let you set the pace." you said as you lifted yourself barely up off of him and held yourself still.
He looked up at you his pupils blown wide, it was almost like he was confused as to why you stopped until he registered what you said. He smiled goofily before planting his feet behind you getting better leverage so he could thrust up into you. His pace was quick and aggressive, the first thrust almost knocking you over if not for your hands stabilizing yourself on his chest. Almost immediately you could tell that he was getting close all the teasing had been enough to get him more than worked up.
You moved one of your hands to your clit, rubbing quickly as you moved slightly on top of him angling yourself just right so he would hit your g-spot with every thrust. "Miss, can I-" he gasped between moans.
"Not yet, kitten, just hold on a bit longer." you instructed, the added stimulation from your hand serving to bring you to the edge faster than before. He whined, his thrusts slowing down in an attempt to hold back his orgasm, “Nuh uh, kitten, you chose that pace you better keep it up.” you said, emphasizing your words by tweaking one of his nipples. He let out another whine but picked the pace back up, he bit his lip and squeezed his eyes closed, trying desperately to keep himself from cumming. “Good boy.” you praised him before going back to focusing on the feeling of Chan filling you up.
“Please, Miss, please I can’t hold it much longer.” Chan begged, tugging on the cuffs and doing his best to maintain the pace he had set.
“You can and you will, kitten, you’ve been so good today don’t start acting out now.” you said quickly, he whimpered in response. Watching him try so hard to please you combined with the feeling of your hand on your clit and him thrusting into you was enough to push you over the edge. You clenched around him as you rode out your high, he let out a loud whine, his entire body tense as he tried desperately to ignore his impending orgasm. “Go ahead, kitten, you can cum now.” you instructed, he came practically before you were done talking, he cried out loudly as his orgasm washed over him. His hips stuttering as he released into the condom, thrusting up a couple more times before relaxing with a sigh. You lifted yourself off of him and reached down to slip the condom off of him and tie it off. You heard the noise of him tugging at the cuffs as you got up to throw the condom in the trash.
“Miss, kitten needs cuddles.” Chan whined softly, his voice thick with exhaustion.
You made your way back to him and undid the cuffs quickly, letting him stretch his arms before pulling him into a sitting position, “Let’s get you changed kitten, as cute as you look that can’t be very comfortable.” you said. Chan pouted but let you slip the lingerie off of him, you gently removed his plug and pulled the ears off of his head but he stopped you when you reached for the collar. “Still wanna be my kitten?” you asked and he nodded, “Okay, baby.” you said and you ran your fingers through his hair. You grabbed him a pair of underwear and some pajama pants and helped him into them before getting changed yourself. As soon as you were in comfortable clothes Chan let out another whine, he reached out towards you and you cooed at him stepping close enough for him to pull you into his arms. He held you tightly and buried his face in your neck a soft smile resting on his face as he fell asleep quickly.
#stray kids smut#stray kids chan smut#bang chan smut#chan smut#chan x reader#kpop smut#stray kids oneshot#bang chan oneshot#kpop oneshot#smutmas#smutmas 2019#c.b
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Things I learned while re-watching Star Plus Mahabharata (Part 16/many):
1) As ever with Duryodhan, I cannot disagree with anything he says.
2) Oh god. This scene. Panchali’s curse. Her walking away as Arjun looks on. Gold.
3) Not sure I like this new version of Krishna seekh.
4) Also we have not seen Krishna fight once in this battle of Dwarka vs the King of Shalva.
5) I also don’t like crying Krishna. Not saying he can’t. But I can’t take him seriously when he cries. I need him to be infinitely more chill than SRJ is being right now.
6) Ah, Arjun swearing at the Kurus. A+ 10/10.
7) Oh my fucking god, Subhadra’s opening line to Arjun: how could you let this happen? I expect nothing less from her.
8) Madhav is back now, after chilling in his war. He’s still in a self-driven chariot.
9) Wow, he’s so pissed at the Pandavas and rightfully so.
10) Draupadi telling Krishna that she’s become impure. And anyone who comes near her would also become impure. No. NO. Every woman in the world knows this feeling.
11) Okay, first of all, Krishna, you moonlighting feminist, the first thing you should tell Draupadi is that she has not become malin because of what Duryodhana and Dushasan did. This is on them, not on her. I cannot but compare StarBharat with BR Chopra Mahabharat, the comparisons come very easily to me. And the truth is, they just did some things better.
12) Draupadi’s now fallen at his feet. Krishna is just like, Lord give me strength.
13) This scene is important because I feel like for once Krishna is putting his grand plans on hold for one second to give Draupadi back her peace of mind. Because first and foremost, the Lord is kind to those who follow him.
14) It’s so nice that StarBharat has shown this sort of sisterly solidarity between Draupadi and Subhadra, which is so important.
15) Draupadi is not even remotely impressed by Yudhishthira’s theatrics.
16) Draupadi’s pratigya makes her sound like Bhishma. Intentional or unintentional.
17) I cannot imagine Subhadra watching idly by as the Pandavas and Draupadi walk to the forest. I’m sure she put up a fight against her brothers to be allowed to go.
18) Speaking of, where is Balaram in all of this? His cousins are heading for vanvas and he is still chilling in Dwarka? Unrealistic.
19) Oh nice, Abhimanyu hasn’t even been born yet but somehow Krishna has managed to name him.
20) That scene where Arjun stops Subhadra from touching his feet. Some of StarBharat’s dialogueless scenes are just as touching.
21) Krishna’s glare as Shakuni enters the Indraprastha palace lmaoo.
22) A well executed scene but the watering hole scene happens only towards the end of the 12-year vanvas period.
23) This is hilarious. Yudhishthira is basically like Krishna is going to whoop my ass if I let something else happen to Panchali.
24) Oh god. Everyone loves Arjun the most. But I think Yudhishthira loves Bhim the most.
25) It’s time for Yudhishthira to meet his bio daddy!
26) Arjun doing tapasya for Shiv is my jam.
27) Bhim is such a cutie.
28) This Hanuman story is different though, right? Something to do with some lotus for Draupadi.
29) Is Hanuman a Yadav? He wears the same tilak. Or is this some Ram/Krishna connection we don’t quite know about.
30) I love Hanuman’s character! He’s so playful. And also the Hanuman Chalisa in the background score.
31) Oh so Hanuman knows that Krishna is Ram/Vishnu avatar and says he will chill on the chariot that’s being manned by God.
32) Oh no they never told us about the magic bowl Draupadi had that was gifted to her by Surya Dev which gave them unlimited food.
33) Also, do the Pandavas and Karna ever realise that they are all ‘gifts’ of Durvasa.
34) Krishna creeping in the background like some mega creep 😂
35) This is a conversation for another time but some day we need to talk about the incessant whitewashing of our gods such as Ram and Krishna in modern mythological serials. Also of Draupadi/Dhrishtadyumna/Arjun—basically anyone who’s described in canon as dark. There is some modern fetish for fair-skinned gods that just doesn’t sit right. I miss the dark-skinned Aruns and Nitishs.
36) Durvasa is still not impressed by Krishna. This man is literally god.
37) Arjun is fishing.
38) Oh nice, Indra is also here. Old gods and new.
39) Not sure whether I like this Shiv. Shiv in general I love.
40) Aaaand Jayadrath is here. Can’t wait for this guy to die in tomorrow’s BR Chopra Mahabharat episode.
41) Duryodhan low key throwing shade at Jayadrath is my jam.
42) Really, what does Dushala see in this man?
43) Kaun ho tum? Really? Draupadi doesn’t know her own brother-in-law? That seems highly unlikely.
44) Why is Arjun wasting time with all this trash talk?
45) Arjun is having a lot of second thoughts about keeping Jayadrath alive for Dushala’s sake but this is going to change very quickly during the war. Also Nakul rightfully points out that this man will give grief to Arjun later on.
46) This is by far the worst and most inaccurate map of Aryavarta to ever exist.
47) Oh no Jayadrath’s hair makeup is so not on point at this moment.
48) Mamashri Shakuni is literally fortune telling at this point and this is my jam.
49) So it’s canon that both Shakuni and Krishna are Slytherins, right? Yet they are the two most diametrically opposite Slytherins we have ever seen.
50) Also I want to see Dushala but these shows never give me what I want. When I make the Mahabharata I will make sure the women get equal and opposite screen time and character development as the men.
51) Yudhishthira is getting on my nerves.
52) This Draupadi is infinitely nicer than BR Chopra Mahabharat’s Roopa Ganguli who used to give it to her husbands every opportunity she got.
53) I also have lots of complaints. They didn’t show Dhrishtadyumna taking Draupadi’s sons home to Panchal to raise them.
54) They didn’t show Arjun chilling with his bio dad in heaven! They didn’t show Urvashi hitting on him and him rejecting her advances! Then she curses him, causing him to lose his manhood. And then she reverses the curse after Indra begs her and she limits it to lost manhood for one year of his choosing. That’s how Arjun uses the Brihannala guise for a year during agyaatvaas!
55) Shakuni training himself to think like Krishna. Looool.
56) Nakul bullying children is my jam.
57) Clearly this sattoo ke laddoo business is some sort of secret code amongst the Pandavas.
58) At least Uttar and Uttara are aptly shown as young teenagers.
59) My fav is back! Brihannala! 😍
60) Also what is this face covering nonsense by Sairindhri?! Women in the Later Vedic Age did not cover their faces or their heads behind purdah!!!
61) The Pandavas meeting together after a long time is giving me hope! This is what it’s going to be like when lockdown is over and I meet my friends 😭😭😭
62) This Keechak guy looks evil but I can’t take him seriously because his voice makes him sound like a prepubescent boy.
63) What is this casual classism from Keechak? Like Jesus, what a dirtbag.
64) Again there was no ghunghat back in those days?!?!
65) But iss Keechak ne toh consent ki maa behen kar di.
66) How happy the Pandavas are to see Panchali! Arjun the most, perhaps 😍
67) Virat making a dig at Dushasan. I’m here for this tea.
68) I can’t take Keechak seriously because of his voice.
69) This logic whereby if Draupadi has five husbands so she can have one more—like I will never understand this! She consented to five and no more???
70) Brihannala, my one true fav, is back!
71) Keechak vadh is my favourite episode, behind Shishupal vadh and Jayadrath vadh. Do you see the pattern?
72) Why is Draupadi here? I wanted to see Bhim’s giant form hidden as a lump under a blanket, enticing Keechak.
73) Bhim is here! 😍 Seriously, no one loves Panchali as much as Bhim does. Arjun toh is smitten by our Yadav homegirl.
74) Now Arjun is going to do his tandav dance. This should distract the others from the noise nicely.
75) Oh nice. Nakul and Sahadev are also participating.
76) Predictably, Jyesth Bhrata, Yudhishthira, is not invited to this Keechak vadh party.
77) King Virat is like oh no what a loss.
78) Yudhishthira looks pissed, as always, when his brothers have done something good.
79) Haha. Duryodhan has caught on to the fact that Bhishma is trying desperately to stall so that the Pandavas are not found out.
81) Now Duryodhan is now accusing Vidur of partiality. Again, he is not wrong. I’m so impressed by how well his character has been written. Not one word he says is incorrect.
82) Nice. Duryodhan has his father wrapped around his little finger. He knows exactly how to manipulate him so that Dhritarashtra rises to the bait.
83) After all these centuries Bhishma realises that Shakuni is after the destruction of Hastinapur.
84) Shakuni is admitting now that all of this is revenge for Gandhari. Oh man. Do you think Bhishma knew that the Mahabharat was the result of his poorly executed actions (intentional or otherwise)?
85) King Virat is so smart. I like him. I’m going to be so sad when he dies.
86) Brihannala is going to stay behind. Great. It’s so interesting to see this story in retrospect (which is how it’s told to Janamajeya and Vajra) in the first place.
87) I like Virat with open hair.
88) What the hell is this? I cannot be attracted to Pitamaha Bhishma and Mama Shakuni with their open hair and battle armour?! Adharm!
89) Oh what a cool sundial!
90) I’m glad they showed Uttar as nothing more than a teenager.
91) Mama Shakuni is so fit.
92) Do you think Bhishma recognises Arjun as Uttar’s chariot?
93) Poor Uttar is probably shitting his pants.
94) Arjun praying to Agni Dev to return his Gandiv. Old gods to the rescue.
95) This background score! It’s my absolute favourite! Parthasya Dhananjaya! My fav song on my fav, Arjun 😍
96) Bhishma looks thoroughly pleased. He recognises the sound of the Gandiv’s twang.
97) Now they will fight about the authenticity of the calendar. They should go to a calendar expert.
98) Bhishma looks proper chuffed at Arjun. How on earth will they fight against each other in the Great War?
99) Oh man, Karna is here. Ugh.
100) Karna is here to trash talk as per usual. Oh god both these men are useless. Fight no instead of talking so much.
101) Oh man, the charioteer’s son has been thrown from his chariot but not before taking a shot at Arjun.
102) Ah Karna’s divine armour makes an appearance!
103) Oh shit, this just got real! They’re calling on divine weapons!
104) Bhishma steps in. Of course.
105) Duryodhan’s hah! 😂😂
106) Arjun crying that if he is responsible for Bhishma’s death, it will be hell on earth for him. Oh, Arjun. You must still suffer, a lot.
107) Arjun’s threat, that all the Pandavas will come to avenge Draupadi’s insult. Yes. 100%. I hope in this yug even if men are not punished for their crimes against women on earth, they will suffer forever in hell for their misdeeds.
108) The Pandavas and Draupadi are ready. It’s time for the Great War. It’s time for Mahabharat.
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Fate/stay night Réalta Nua Part 4 - Unlimited Blade Works Route (2/2)
Day 11-16
Omggg I love their date! Saber is there as well but I think it’s so adorable how Saber is on Rin’s side most of the time, and it’s so cute how Saber loves to eat different things haha. I think the funniest was when Saber hated losing to them in the batting cage so they had to play a lot of games hahaha. But I guess, through the dialogue, I can kinda understand more of why Shirou was always insistent on Saber not fighting in the Fate route. Saber is actually smaller than Rin and she’s apparently weaker than them physically as well if she’s not using her magic power! She must be pretty small then! And omggg lmaooo when Shirou figured out the mystery of the stolen loaf of bread🤣🤣 Shirou thought Rin took it as a late night snack and ate up the whole loaf when she actually used it to make them lunch hahahaha. Honestly, it was really sweet of Rin to plan such a day so that Shirou could relax and have fun, especially since he’s never really found anything fun for a long time and he doesn’t even think he deserves to have fun at all. Honestly though, I still find Caster’s Noble Phantasm Rule Breaker such a…I don’t know how to say it, I mean, I understand that the Command Spells was magic done by one of the three families and since Caster is like from the time of the Gods or whatever, I guess it’s possible for her to cancel it and stuff, but I feel like when powers like this exist, it kinda makes the rules of the war and everything feel so…cheap? Like, I guess I liked the war because each Servant presents different powerful Noble Phantasms and abilities but they’re all respectively things that pertain to their strengths and utilised within the boundaries of the war, but Caster’s ability just negates a lot of that and makes things feel like such a free for all with no rules and that just feels boring tbh. Otherwise, Saber being able to stop herself from listening to Caster’s orders and attack Shirou for a bit so he can escape was saddening, especially with those tears in her eyes. But yeah, the way everything went was really understandable, Shirou would never give up on Taiga’s life (since Caster took her hostage) even if he has to sacrifice his own, so really, it wasn’t a situation they could really win from at all..sad that their cute date turned into this disaster though.
Rin always tries to sound mean to Shirou, but really all you can hear from her is concern for him all the time. She hates seeing him get hurt and always wants him out of the war because he’s too kind. I can see why Shirou is adamant about going to save Saber since her being controlled is his responsibility, but at the same time, Rin is right, there is nothing he can offer to the battle right now, especially with his injuries. Lmaooo at Tiger Dojo 22 where Caster calls Taiga for advice on how to be a better character, hahahah even she knows she’s plain lmaoo. Honestly though, I love how Shirou is always able to tell that Rin is truly kindhearted and that underneath her role as a magus is a normal girl that’s very sensitive and sweet. I love how he got her to release her emotions and cry after she felt betrayed by Archer (who left her for Caster). I love the CG with them talking to each other back to back! And I love how Shirou is always there for Rin to help her get herself together. He’s right though, Rin is someone who resolutely stands on her own path, even if she regrets something, she will retaliate and destroy it to make her path what it should be to her. She gets sad but she never gives up, and I can see why Shirou would admire her so much tbh. It’s so cute how Shirou so honestly told Rin he likes her a lot, blushing Rin is so adorable!
I feel like Caster’s past is supposed to make me feel “something” for her but honestly, she still feels as bland as she is. Maybe it’s because ever since she was born, she’s been (literally) controlled by others, forced to abandon her country and kill her brother etc, used as a scapegoat to be the epitome of crime and thus viewed as a witch, but everything about that story is kinda just told to you as a reader, so really, it’s hard to feel anything for her. Like, I feel sorry for her that she had to experience all that, and I get how grateful she is towards Kuzuki for saving her when she nearly disappeared (after killing her crappy Master), but as she says, she really has no motivation or goal aside from helping Kuzuki and he himself doesn’t really want anything either, so they’re kinda like a duo that has no real purpose than to exist and fight if confronted and I guess fight to find a place for themselves.
Tbh, Shirou always admires Rin for being able to go full on ahead without regrets, but I think someone like him who is able to be so decisive on walking on the path he decides and is ready to accept it even if it’s “wrong” is something very admirable as well. I LOLed when Shirou and Rin went to Illya’s castle (to ask to co-operate against Caster) and Illya’s “alarm” magic that alerts her to them entering the forest zapped Rin so badly compared to Shirou, it was hilarious hahahaha. Honestly, seeing Berserker so desperately protect Illya from Gilgamesh and Illya being so scared really shook me. But I think seeing their past was worse, they were both used and controlled by the Einzberns to get the holy grail, and Illya was forced to go out in a freezing forest with just Berserker so that they could train her into controlling him properly. And I guess it was then that they both realised in their hearts that the only ones they could trust in were each other. I always wondered why Illya didn’t seem to do anything aside from rely on Berserker to fight, but after the flashback, it seems that all those Command Spells on her body that were put by the Einzbern family are there to control Berserker and that puts a great toll on her body and probably even shortens her lifespan. It used to practically destroy her and make her scream in pain, but now it’s a bit better, and I guess that’s why Illya just allows Berserker to do everything for her, it’s mainly because it���s cumbersome enough for her to just control him. But yeah, Gilgamesh slashing her eyes and stuff made me feel so uncomfortable and sad. In the end, Illya’s just a kid… But yeah, I totally understand why Shirou couldn’t help but appear to try and help Illya knowing it was futile. But! I still blame him because him revealing himself also endangers Rin and he should have thought more about her. Buuuut, I’ll admit that it wouldn’t be like Shirou if he was able to restrain himself, and I think I would have been disappointed in him haha. He’s lucky Rin was there to help save him tbh, and I guess we should be glad that Shinji is Gilgamesh’s Master lolll, I mean, if it was anyone more useful, they would have been totally screwed~
Hahahaha, it was so cute how Shirou and Rin kept arguing about who should be running away when Lancer appeared. It was hilarious how Lancer waited for them to finish arguing hahaha. HAHAAHA it was such a tense atmosphere when Shirou agreed to co-operate with Lancer, but then when he said under one condition, and whilst everyone was wondering if he wanted to know Lancer’s Master or something, all Shirou wanted was for Lancer to stay away from Rin hahahaha, he’s so cute🤣🤣🤣 I’m amazed that Archer could create a shield (Aias) that blocked Lancer’s Noble Phantasm, it wasn’t easy for him to block it, but nevertheless, he did end up blocking it. I guess that’s the benefit of being able to project weapons or shields etc that are strong against each Servant’s respective Noble Phantasms. Rin is so cool though! She got Caster to let her guard down and then used martial arts to defeat her! Well nearly, because Kuzuki comes to save Caster since he’s stronger than Shirou, I mean, it’s pretty amazing that Shirou could fend him off for so long. Guess they should be glad that Archer wasn’t a traitor and dealt the last hit attempting to kill Kuzuki, but Caster sacrificed herself to protect him. It’s kinda funny though, Caster’s life as Medea was ruined because of a “man” (she was controlled by a God but the God made her love that man so I guess same thing?) and even as a Servant, even though this time was her first time truly falling in love, nevertheless, she still ended up giving her life up for love, and it’s always for a man that will never love her back. It’s nice to see that even though Kuzuki was pretty disinterested in everything, he was ready to fight until the end even after Caster died, tbh although Shirou wanted to stop it and save Kuzuki, I think Kuzuki would have preferred being killed by Archer as an end rather than surviving. Rin really does save Shirou all the time though haha, it was thanks to her smart thinking of taking Saber as her Servant that they could fend off Archer from killing Shirou.
Honestly though, Lancer is such a great guy. He really knows how to appreciate Rin hahaha, I couldn’t believe her “thanks” to him stopped him from wanting to really kill Archer when they had their duel, and even now when she’s kidnapped by Archer (to ensure Shirou will come to save her and thus fight him), he’s so ready to go help them out. I guess Shirou was right to tell Lancer to stay away from Rin hahahaha. Honestly, it’s so heartbreaking to hear Archer talk about how he had to keep killing in order to save many, and that’s why he feels that he must kill Shirou, because if he doesn’t kill him, he’s going to become him, the hero Emiya. I think it’s so heartbreaking to hear that because you can feel how much Archer wants to kill himself, and in order to do that, he must kill Shirou. He thinks that his existence gave happiness to no one and only caused death and destruction since he killed people to save people…and it’s probably disheartening for Saber to hear this too, since she and Shirou are similar. I guess that’s why she wanted to stay here instead of going to save Rin (from Shinji) with Lancer.
Omg, I didn’t realise that Archer was executed because he was accused by the person he saved, even though he was the one who gave his all to stop the conflict, he was accused of starting the conflict and died for that “crime”. I think something that really hit me was when Archer described his role as a Guardian, he calls it being a “cleaner” because “they do not save people. All they do is eliminate harmful people, without distinction of good or evil. They do not save people in despair. Instead, they eliminate people in despair in order to save others who are enjoying life.” It’s so true. It’s something that’s ever present in life, we are always eliminating the people who are unable to live happily, we are always killing them because of the destruction they cause, and it’s understandable, but at the same time, it’s exactly against what Shirou desires. He knows that he can’t save everyone, but he wants to, and at the least, he wouldn’t want to kill others he wants to save in order to save others. I feel like the more Archer killed, the more he felt like he was killing the people he was supposed to save and that really destroyed him. And because he became a Guardian, he didn’t even have the choice to not do these things. The world itself had already decided that these people were harmful to it, so Emiya had to kill them, all the times he was summoned, he had no free will to decide for himself what should be done and what shouldn’t be done to save the world, the world already decided it and willed him to just kill them to “save” the world. The world deemed them irredeemable and unable to be saved, and Emiya had to accept that, but it must have been such torture to have to experience that over and over again. Even if killing Shirou doesn’t cause Archer to disappear, I’m sure the satisfaction of killing the past him that he thinks is silly and caused all this would at least relieve Archer somewhat.
Kotomine definitely let his guard down against Lancer. Although he used his Command Spell to order Lancer to kill himself, he hadn’t even disappeared yet and he already let his guard down! In other news, Shinji is a shit as usual~ and seriously, after seeing Kotomine get stabbed by Lancer, I don’t know why the dumbass Shinji doesn’t think about how Lancer could still be a threat, and what makes him think Gilgamesh will help him with such a lowlife job lol. It was really cool when Lancer used bits of his last strength to protect Rin until the end though, he’s such a hero. I also liked how resolute he was in death and was ready to burn the whole room to ashes to make sure Kotomine wouldn’t survive. I guess Kiritsugu’s last words of relief over Shirou saying he’ll be a superhero in his place was like a curse to Shirou. He said it because he admired Kiritsugu and wanted to be just like him, but he probably didn’t realise how much it really meant to him until he said it, and because of that, Shirou had no choice but to become a protector of justice, he couldn’t disappoint the guy who was so happy to have found him alive in that fire, he couldn’t disregard a dying man’s wish, and really, he just wanted to be just as strong as his father. In this sense though, there’s a similarity between Shirou and Rin. The both of them have been “passed on” an ideal or dream that they must fulfill. For Shirou, he needs to save people as a superhero. For Rin, she needs to win the Holy Grail War as the successor of the Tohsaka family and for her father who died because of it. But really, you wouldn’t say that Rin’s will is hypocrisy, because she has practically made that dream her own, and I think that can be said for Shirou as well. Even if it all started from someone else, it doesn’t mean it’s a “borrowed” ideal, because it had already transformed into their own ideal with the strength of their convictions and beliefs. And honestly, even if it is a borrowed ideal, it’s fine, because that is the path they chose, whether it was for someone else or not, this is what they chose and what they will commit to do. In that sense, who can really judge them? I honestly felt really touched when Shirou relentlessly attacked saying his dream is not a mistake, because he believes in it and will continue to believe in it no matter what. Really, I can’t help but feel so affected by Shirou’s will and determination all the time, he’s so mentally strong, it’s crazy. It was kinda relieving but at the same time hurtful when Archer admitted his lost and was stabbed by Shirou. In the end, this was never really a physical fight, because Archer could have killed him if he really wanted to imo, in the end, it felt like everything was set up by Archer to see the strength of his ideals again within Shirou. Archer had experienced tragedy after tragedy that deteriorated his heart for too long, so I feel like in a sense even though he hated his younger self, he also wanted to rekindle and remember the emotions he once had towards his ideal of becoming a superhero. I feel like he wanted to see whether he would be able kill himself first or remember why he was so adamant on being a superhero and how strong his mental fortitude towards it was first, so it was great that young him aka Shirou succeeded in showing him once again why his choice wasn’t wrong and wasn’t a mistake.
Anyway, Gilgamesh always ruins the mood, doesn’t he?! So the reason why Servants have to fight until the last one is because their heroic spirit souls are used as pure magical energy afterwards to kinda “create” the holy grail contents and give the remaining magus/Master power to use it for what they want? Lmao at Gilgamesh leaving the castle and wanting to change locations because the castle was burning down and he didn’t want ashes to go on him. You know, now that I think about it, if all the people Archer witnessed destroying the world was like Shinji, yeah I think I would feel the same hatred towards humanity and their ridiculous conflicts too. Ooh I guess although I’ve seen it, it never really clicked to me that Gilgamesh stopped Illya from becoming the holy grail by taking out her heart and putting it inside Shinji so he would become it? HAHAHA omg, Rin and Shirou need to have sex so he can share her magical circuits and use her magical power to create the Reality Marble (where Archer can project and use all those swords etc) and fight against Gilgamesh?! No wonder why Rin became so shy mid way through the strategy meeting hahahaha. Well, that was a pretty long and detailed H-scene! Rin looked really cute though loll.
Hmmm how interesting, so Servants who are magi can summon other Servants, but they must have a host to keep the Servant in this world, and for Assassin, that is the mountain, therefore, even though Caster is dead, as long as the mountain exists, Assassin will be there to protect it. However, he still needs magical energy, and so even though he’s still “alive”, he will disappear soon, since Caster only gave him a limited amount of magical energy. Although I guess the main reason he still stands is because he really wanted his life to end in battle with Saber. Assassin’s true identity is rather saddening. He’s just a no name guy that was most fit to be seen as the guy “Sasaki Kojirou” because he can perform techniques Kojirou could, and so he is assumed to be him according to what this Kojirou character should be. In the end, he’s “nothing”, and I guess such an existence, being able to fight with Saber before he disappears would be a nice thing to do instead of meaninglessly disappearing. I mean, it’s understandable that Saber is in a rush to distract Gilgamesh so that Rin and Shirou can destroy the grail, and then they can all destroy Gilgamesh together, but honestly, that’s not Assassin’s problem and he has no reason to stand aside when Saber did once promise him that she’ll fight him properly again. I guess that means it’s time for Shirou to shine haha. I think Shirou’s “impossible” dream really reminds of Kaoru’s dream in Rurouni Kenshin. Honestly, their dreams are probably naive, probably impossible and probably ridiculous to others, but just like Kenshin, I think you can’t help but want to believe in it hoping that it can be possible, and continuing to fight to make it possible. And I really feel Shirou’s resolve in that. It took a while but I’m glad he finally realised that what he could do wasn’t infinitely create swords to fight against Gilgamesh, but instead create the Reality Marble that contains an infinite amount of swords aka unlimited blade works. But really, I’m happy that regardless whether it be the Fate route or this one, Shirou is the one who helps Saber realise that she needs to move forward, well, Archer and his burdens is the one who made her realise it in this route, but they’re both Shirou after all! I’m just glad that she’s not living in regret anymore and can go back peacefully after destroying the Holy Grail.
Although I’ve been rather sceptical with how a lot of fights went in this route, I think Gilgamesh against Shirou is probably the most satisfying and understandable to me (alongside Shirou against Archer), mainly because it’s true that Gilgamesh had always won his battles through the amount of Noble Phantasms in his treasury and how relentlessly he uses them as “arrows” rather than as swords. He lacks the skills and techniques to use them because he is merely an arrogant owner of them. And that’s why I think it’s understandable how Shirou can face off against him. Not only is Shirou physically capable, his Reality Marble gives him swords right by him, he can pick them up much easier than when he had to project them over and over, so in the end, it becomes more of a battle mounting on their determination and strength, which Gilgamesh lacks because he lives thinking that he doesn’t need to work hard for anything since everything is already his. And seeing him lose because of that is much more satisfying than in the Fate route because what Gilgamesh really lost against here isn’t something like Saber’s OP armour, he lost against his own lack of skill and what he prides himself in, his own arrogance. He let his guard down against a “faker” that can only do imitations of his swords, and was unable to recover his composure facing off against someone much “lower” than him being able to overpower him, even if it’s only for a bit of time. Not sure how I feel about the black void from the destruction of the Holy Grail coming to consume Gilgamesh though… Lmao at Tiger Dojo 24, the hanging mini Shirou getting smacked by Taiga and being blown away like a star was so funny hahahaha.
I find it quite a miracle that Archer was able to survive this long into the end game and was able to watch over their battles and save both Rin and Shirou in the last minute! Like, he was already weak at the castle, fought with Shirou, took the hit from multiple Noble Phantasms by Gilgamesh and he was still able to project so many weapons to get Rin away from the Holy Grail monster and then project another one to prevent Gilgamesh from dragging Shirou into the void?? I guess I should be impressed rather than in disbelief haha. Honestly though, I do believe that Rin is Shirou’s “true love” because you can really see how much Archer still loves and cherishes her after all that he experienced. His silly banter with her was so similar to how she and Shirou interacted, and I think the fact that he still held on to her jewel (that ended up allowing her to summon him) is enough reason to really see how much he thought about her and how much he wanted to be with her. But at the same time he couldn’t be with her because it was his love and admiration for her that probably allowed him to move forward and follow his dream/ideal and end up becoming Emiya the heroic spirit. I honestly wanted to cry when he asked Rin to support himself and take care of himself aka Shirou. And I honestly believe in Archer’s belief that if Rin is beside Shirou, he won’t become the regretful hero Emiya. It’s saddening that even if Shirou leads a different life, Archer will probably always still be a heroic spirit doing what he had to do before. The only relief to be had is that after encountering Rin and Shirou here, he’s kinda rejuvenated himself by being reminded of past him’s beliefs, wishes and his resolve for becoming who he has become today. So, he’ll be fine, even if it’s painful. Archer’s last smile looked so much like Shirou. And omggg, something I never realised! In the beginning, Archer chose to call her Rin and continued calling her that because calling her Tohsaka is something Shirou does! By coming to terms with his own self as Shirou, he can finally feel like he can call her Tohsaka like he used to… It’s so cute and bittersweet😭😭
I loved how adorable Shirou and Rin were (in the true ending) when she kept asking if he would come with her to London as her apprentice at the Magic Association training academy or whatever and Shirou was too shy to openly say yes when it was obvious what his answer would be haha. The good ending was something I would have also liked to see in the Fate route but I guess seeing it here is nice too! It’s a bit like a harem end lmao, but I think Saber deciding to stay in this world to see if she can find her own answer by watching over Shirou (since Archer said she is wrong but she doesn’t really understand in this ending), so now Shirou, Rin and Saber can always hang together! It’s so cute honestly~ It’s kinda like how everything was in the beginning of this route, so playful, fun and happy with three of them haha.
Overall, I really liked UBW. Imo, I still think that the fights with Caster etc were the weak parts of this route and it can kinda detract your attention because I didn’t think it was really interesting lol. But everything is worth it when it comes to Shirou’s fight with Archer and then Gilgamesh. It really felt like everything that was built up since the beginning was made worth it. It was nice to see how much Archer and Shirou were natural enemies against each other without Shirou even realising who he was, yet they both couldn’t help but be influenced by the other. I thought Archer’s story really made UBW such a highlight emotionally. His story was well developed and nicely explored against Shirou’s ideals and you could really see how much they couldn’t help but clash. I honestly really loved how no matter what Archer did that seemed contradictory to what “Shirou” would do, in the end, he was Shirou through and through with how soft of a guy he really was. I really loved the concept of Shirou being the one to make possible future him/Archer realise why his original ideals were so important to him and why despite everything, he really doesn’t regret how everything came to be anymore. I really think that it was such an important growth to both Archer and Shirou and I loved it. It allowed them both to further their resolves and be proud of the path they’re walking on. Another great thing about this route was Rin, she’s such a great heroine that totally matches well with Shirou because not only does she drive him to become a stronger person like her, Shirou also makes her want to improve and be as driven as him even when things don’t go her way. I just think that not only do they work to bring their best out of each other as people, they’re also very capable in being silly with the other. They’re just as cute as they are strong and I love their relationship. As for the other Servants, I think only Lancer and Assassin really hit me emotionally. Lancer being such a ladies man and fighting for his own beliefs is something I always enjoy seeing, and Assassin finding meaning by being able to fight with other true swordsmen was something I couldn’t help but feel happy for. It really felt like a 8.5-9/10 route!👌
And nowww, on to the last route! Since the last Heaven’s Feel movie isn’t out yet, I don’t really know what happens at the end of it, so I guess aside from the Fate route, this will be the other route I don’t have much idea about what will happen and that kinda makes me excited haha!
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