#lmaooo stupid stupid brain!!!! i’m a clown | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rizadyke · 3 years

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Riza Hawkeye is 17, hearing stories from her teachers in the academy about the hero that is the Flame Alchemist, the way he burns and kills hundreds of enemy assailants a day, hears whispered stories from returning soldiers about charred corpses of all sizes and ever present smoke, and thinking how it can’t be. Her father was a genius, but she’s also just a small town girl who hasn’t seen much of this country, and there’s a chance, slim as it seems, that someone else had found a way to harness flame alchemy. It can’t be Roy, she tells herself, he’s protecting this country, he’s going to make a difference, he’s not the other alchemists, not a blood-thirsty dog of the military. She knows his plans for the future, but more importantly, she knows him. Roy, who helped her cut her hair short when she was 11, and who she taught basic hunting skills in return for stories of the big city. Roy, who was the only person who made living in that big empty house with her ghost of a father anywhere close to berable. Roy, who despite never meeting the woman, brought flowers to her mother’s grave on the anniversary of her death every year. Roy, who had been livid with anger toward her dead father when she’d shown him the tattoo she had never wanted.

Riza Hawkeye is 18, choking on the desert sand, when she sees a temple go up in flames and wonders if she ever really knew Roy Mustang at all.

#riza hawkeye #roy mustang #fmab #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood #just. imagine how absolutely BETRAYED Riza felt seeing Roy do all that shit in ishval #like holy shit #like obviously we don’t rly know the circumstances of her tattoo either (my wager is on. bad.)#but still it must have taken her so much to show him that but she completely trusted him and believed in him #and then. yeah #not excusing Riza being a war criminal just saying her life must have just been. so incredibly fucked up #I’m too dumb to write meta so instead I will just write things that my brain decides to make me sad with LMAOOO #y’all were clowns on so many of my korra posts if even one person is stupid on here I’m goin batshit

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bunny-xoxo · 3 years

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Power Couple Playlist

for my love @ikigaitooru , please enjoy Shawty :)

warning: slight timeskip!oikawa spoilers

Relationship Head cannons

I am not joking when I tell you you guys would be the definition of a power couple, like the kind where when people see you together they definitely get a little nervous assjjjdjsakaka

The team adoressss you too, like you are constantly clowning Oikawa and he’ll just be there like 🧍‍♂️ while the rest of the team loses their minds

Don’t let him fool you though! Oikawa clowns you just as much as you clown him definition of a petty queen

But also let literally anybody else say something to either of you, y’all just go innn on them (unless it’s Iwaizumi of course)

But as much as you two bully each other, you guys are infatuated with each other like you guys got each other on the brain constantly

IMO you guys definitely started off as flirty bullies, to flirty jackass friends to lovers 😶 (I’ll go more into detail with the playlist ;))

Your relationship definitely gives off summer fling type vibes but it just ,,, never ends lmaoo

You guys are LITERALLY the king and queen of the zodiacs and I feel like Oikawa would bring it up constantly “who cares babe we rule the world, let’s do what we want 😩” headass you cannot tell me he wouldn’t say this shit slightly unironically

Stares at you any chance he can get, he loves it when you’re hanging out with someone and you’re doing most of the talking so he can just watch you (will get embarrassed and sheepish if you notice though)

His favorite is when you’re smiling or laughing really hard and then look at him to talk or wait for his response shit gives him butterflies every time

Totally the type to wipe your face with a napkin if you guys are out and you got something on it and then just smile at you like 😊 got it

OKok i dont know much about smoking but he’d DEFINITELY be the giggly type probably horny too but you didn’t hear that from me

Boasts about you literally all the time whenever he gets the chance pls, whenever he gets interviewed at his games in Argentina he relentlessly finds ways to bring you up

Definitely let’s you do his makeup, no questions asked

Sometimes you’re aggressive and chaotic and it scares but also excites him in the best way

OKOK Playlist time!!

(the title is a joke pls don’t come for me asjfkdllsjs)

I kind of made this playlist as a soundtrack to your guys’ relationship and did my best to have it align with your music taste even though I feel like I did horrible job of that

I really hope you enjoy it and if you need me to change anything please tell me!!

1. Song for Me - Greer: Ok here we go, friends to lovers gang!! Y’all definitely trying to deny it, but you’re catching stupid feeligs stupid fast. He can really talk to you about these big dreams and you just listen and talk with him so intently that it makes him feel something he can’t explain at first it’s called romantic feelings dumby. And hearing him talk about his dreams with you and just really want to talk with you really makes you so happy; and you can’t help but imagine getting to be by his side with him while he does this and- hold on, did you really just think that? Yeah cue 2:37 of the song

2. This Side of Paradise - Coyote Theory: Yeah, so you guys mutally realize that you like each other and do NOT know what to do. You guys kind of start to dance around it and aren’t sure what signs are real or made up lmaooo. You’re both so playfully flirty it’s like 😏 ahahahah.. 👀👀 bimboz anywayyy cue the side glances from Oikawa and his relentless staring as he slowly falls more and more for you

3. Heavenly - Cigarettes After Sex: UGH DID SOMEONE SAY MUTUAL PINING, pls I feel like this would go on for a fair bit with Oikawa, he’s so dramatic. This song is just the definition of you two just wanting each other. And the fact he’s so nervous to screw it up with you just makes him more nervous cause he’s like oh shit, I really like her. Iwaizumi talks it through with him though knocks some sense into him “If she’s so great why wait until someone else recognizes that and want’s her all to themselves? As a matter of fact I’m sure-” “IWA PLEASE I GET IT” literally runs to your house out of breath after practice to confess to you assjfjdkkd

4. Violet - Hippo Campus: Ok so you guys are definitely together now, and this song just reminds Oikawa of you so hard. It played on his way home from your first date and now he just completely associates with you. Sometimes if he’s feeling extra nervous before a game he’ll listen to it and immediately feel better, it’s like your theme song for you in his mind right now, not that he would tell you that. Whenever he see’s you in the stands at his games this song is like a backtrack in his mind and it just gets him so extra pumped them serves are definitely extra terrifying

5. Michelle - Sir Chloe: Ok we’re gonna get a teensy bit angsty in here 😶 this song is definitely about Oikawa. He’s just so perfect and you hate it, you can’t help but start to love him and it’s so frustrating? He’s just gonna ruin you and you know it. You wanna try to fight falling in love with him so bad but you know there’s just no way that’s gonna happen. It’s like, who are you to be falling for him? It’s intimidating to fall in love with someone you can’t help but see as literally so perfect, knowing practically everyone wants him. He would obliterate you if he heard you think this way but who has to know

6. Sweet - Cigarettes After Sex: This is it, this is the song Oikawa realizes he’s in love with you to. Not just loves you but like in love with you. It starts playing in his headphones while he’s on a run and it makes his heart stop. He just can’t stop thinking of you alongside every lyric (1:45-1:53? Oh yeah) and it makes him so soft; while also scaring the absolute shit out of him. He’s just so in love with you.

7. I Love You - The Post Nobles: OK IM SORRY A LITTLE WITTLE BIT OF ANGST! I do see falling in love scary period, and I do feel like it would kind of scare Oikawa for a second, like he’d really have to sit with his thoughts for a second and be like?? I love this girl? Oh god what if I mess it up? What if I lose her? What would I do? What if she doesn’t love me back? It would just be so much easier if I didn’t love her. So this song is more to himself like, fr my guy?? You love this chick? Wanna take it back? Nope. He can’t believe it but he’s in love with you and has no choice about it, it’s scary but he would let you ruin his life and he ultimately wouldn’t want it any other way.

8. Pretty Boy - The Neighbourhood: I mean c’mon, this SCREAMS falling for Oikawa vibes. But it’s kind of like your song to each other like fuck it, we’re in love and we can’t do a damn thing about it. ~acceptance

9. Hot Faced - Margaux: I don’t know how to explain it but this is definitely you and Oikawa?? (”King” C’mon now 🙄) I have a feeling people are easily intimidated by you (you look like someone I’d be scared to talk to you) and Oikawa is so charming and inviting, like everyone loves him. So I’m sure there’s people who are like 🧍‍♀️ she’s intense, how’d he just get her like that? And she got him? Power Couple

10. Driving - Donna Missal: Honestly, this is totally just a ~vibe time song for the two of you :)

11. Burning Pile - Mother Mother: Ok TELL me you two wouldn’t blast this song, singing your lungs out together when someone’s had a bad day or is particularly stressed out? Definitely becomes somewhat of a ritual between you two 🖤 you guys are so cute I love you

12. Sunrise - Kevitch: This song is just the definition of your guy’s infatuation and love for each other. People are definitely jealous of you two cause it’s just so obvious on your faces you love each other.

13. The Girl - City and Colour: Don’t hate me - slight Oikawa angst 🧍‍♀️ It’s Oikawa, he’s angsty. I strongly HC he’ll just never feel quite good enough for his s/o. He just feels like he’s dragging you around so he can chase his dreams and he hates how selfish he feels for doing that to you, but he just couldn’t imagine loving anyone but you. He has these big dreams of becoming a professional volleyball player, and even when he makes it to Argentina with you he feels like he constantly needs to do better for you and just loves you so much it hurts, and he just hopes that that’s enough for you :(

14. Cover Me in Roses - Holden Laurence: Intimate much?? Oikawa would most definitely make you slow dance to this song with him. It plays in his head if he wakes up before you, or if you fall asleep before him, all while he just can’t help but look at you and feel so so soft while he caresses your face and just thinks: this is it, this is all I need to make it through anything.

15. I Wanna go to the Beach - Algernon Cadwallader: Did someone say laughing and dancing in the hot night air or Argentina in nothing but your underwear inside your house with all the windows open? Cause that’s what I heard.

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OKOK THAT’S IT BABES, I really hope you liked it, pls tell me if you’d like any changes.

And if anyone else see’s this I’d be more than happy to do this for you, too! Just send an ask with your music taste, tell me about yourself (a fair amount pls lmaooo) and whether or not you want someone or want me to pair you up! (haikyuu only please!)

#haikyuu x reader #playlist #oikawa hcs #oikawa angst #oikawa torū #oikawa playlist #haikyu x reader #haikyu requests #kageyama x reader #hinata shoyo x reader

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ayzrules · 3 years

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10 Signs That You’re in an Ayz Novel/Project/Writing Collab/Rp/~Thing~

tagged by @homesteadchronicles <3! tysm for tagging me - i love these things!!!

1. SILK & STEEL MOTIFS - [ mai, rowena, camila (ish), all of proper young killing machines! ] ever since i was 14-15 and obsessing over book!sansa / book!margaery, and only enhanced by my gail carriger phase. maybe it has to do with the fact that i’m too lazy to ever get into a physical fight myself? LMAO but i love writing snakey political girls who don’t really do ~fighty~ stuff but absolutely are plotting something and will manipulate/backstab their way to getting it. and ofc they hide all of that behind perfect manners & designer gowns & high heels ;D. normally about working with the system & bending it to their advantage for w/e reason (revenge is pretty common lol), not necessarily destroying the system & making something new/better. which segues into:

2. ICE QUEEN TROPES - [ izzy, mari, yinmei ] i first started writing these girls as a direct foil to #1; i would say characters in both of these categories are just as ruthless as each other, but #2 are more obvious/overt about it and v v v blunt. instead of working with & manipulating the system, these girls tend to be the type to just break it apart with a sledgehammer, hahahha. sub-category/spinoff being the too-old/tired-for-your-shit-so-pls-fuck-off kind of vibe ;DDD

3. THE VERY MEAN VERY TERRIBLE GIRL W QUESTIONABLE MORALS IS A MAIN POV AND ALSO MY FAVORITE AND NO I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE - [ tess + camila, kyvana, tselvya aka the murder princess trio of lay them to rest ] ummmmm no excuse except i might be not 100% straight lmfaoooooooo. i just can’t resist ruthless amoral girls in flouncy ruffles & floral frocks ok next (!)

4. TREE-HUGGING SHIT / POETRY IN NATURE - [ verdínqa, dulcifera, of daisies & ddt, a bit of run devil run ] i’m an envi sci nerd & study something similar w my degree program so no surprise :D ever since high school i’ve been into subverting the light = life & darkness = death trope, just after learning about shit like eutrophication & hypoxic waters etc where growth/a surplus actually leads to death, and sort of the belief that death in nature isn’t inherently bad for the entire system (ecocentric holism & alla’ that). and also a point that’s been driven home countless times by lectures, talks, books, webinars, what have you - the earth as just a planet will be fine even w all the anthropogenic shit going on, it’s humans who will be fucked. so that makes its way into my work a ton!

5. REINCARNATED QUEEN BEES - [ jenny, chae ] idk there’s just something so iconic about that aesthetic. zombie girls in chanel & luisa beccaria ya feel. the absolute vanity/arrogance/haughtiness of your typical hs movie rich bitch TM meets oh shit im not really alive and also eating brains is gross (i once googled human brain nutrition facts. quora saved a girl but also my search history is wack lmfao)..... yea! :kermitdab:

6. DITZY PINK SIDEKICK WHO IS ACTUALLY PRETTY BOOKSMART - [ steph, lea, lyra ] to (sort of) go with above, i like writing the bubbly girly girls who can throw front tucks and scorpions and double arabians like nobody’s business but also aren’t your stereotypical ‘dumb cheerleader’ trope; they’re just thought of as ditzy because of how nice/sweet/outgoing they are. also 3/4 times they drive crusty mom vans. yes this is me projecting my own driving experience no i will not change

7. SARCASTIC IDIOT MEME QUEENS - [ chrissy, inferna/vicky, angie ] always obsessed with memes, usually obsessed with food/sbux, kpop, or both. these girls are fun to write bc it’s like, 2 brain cells and they’re all devoted to simping for girl groups or copping free food deals (yes i make them all blackpink fans yes i am basic no i do not accept criticism) which is just #same. usually tend to be pretty scathing & hotheaded, also with a bit of a too-tired-for-this-pls-fuck-off energy ;D and that’s highkey my entire internal dialogue so like..... :kermitdab:

8. GLITTER + GORE / MURDER PRINCESSES - [ robot unicorn attack & its spinoff ‘rua: guts & glory’, proper young killing machines, lay them to rest, this new hyper-girly pokemon yugioh-esque collab w loml <333 ] traditionally “”””””””girly/feminine”””””””” aesthetics meets murder/other very dangerous activities you should not try at home!

9. FACETIOUS REFERENCES TO RL - [ gem quest, robot unicorn attack, lay them to rest, other things im prob forgetting ] basically i’m super facetious and also a clown and i like to poke fun at stupid things in my own life hahahah. gem quest is very modern meme culture meets high fantasy fairyland (& it was a collab with fanfan! so literally just my aes meets hers ;DDDDD) in the way i wrote it (references to twilight, phineas & ferb, kpop, other memes in the fairytale setting basically); robot unicorn attack is allllll about that petty celeb drama (just with a glitzy cyberpunk backdrop & also unicorns) LMAOOO & it does have tons of similarities to the kpop industry! & lay them to rest - aka murder princess aesthetic heaven - has me pulling out shit like ‘picstagram’ and ‘versacci’ (versace + gucci lol i’m so lame). one of the murder-y girls is a social media influencer/beauty guru. yeah!!

& last but not least-

10. MORE AESTHETIC THAN PLOT - [ insert everything i’ve ever written ] look i can NEVER come up with coherent plot lines WHATSOEVER but at least my pinterest is popping & my prose is all overly detailed descriptions of dresses & flowers LOL

tagging: @bebemoon @vampirkaninchen @morningstar1399 @now-on-elissastillstands @atimefordragons @tudorgirl @lend-your-lungs-to-me @bulletgirl @unholieds @artless-whimsy @interluxetumbra @clarienanaberry << sorry i cant splel ur writeblr @n-eusex + anyone who sees this & wants to do it!!! <3 <3 <3

#my stuff #my writing #TYSM FOR THE TAG THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN

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chrsitophwaltz · 5 years

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MICKEY MEETS FC BAYERN (PART 1/4)

for the entire houston clownery experience click here

psa: excuse my face and the pic qualities. up until this happened i haven’t really taken pictures of myself (less than 10 in the past two years for family and work purposes and NEVER selfies) and when you meet people you’ve only seen on TV in a very unexpected circumstance, then don’t expect your brain and motor functions to work 100%.

okay. i posted part 1 of this a few days ago but i’m gonna redo it again to flush out the details. before i start, know that i arrived in houston wednesday afternoon. my original flight back home was scheduled sunday after the game (i booked my flight and lodgings months before like a good binch) but since bayern clowned again and announced the full detailed schedule really late, and put ALL the major fan stuff on SUNDAY, i grudgingly rebooked and extended one more day. how much that one extra day cost me will haunt me for a while but hey, it was more than worth it! of course, i didn’t know it would work out like that at first...

the hotel reception was around 6:30-7 pm on friday so we went there a few hours earlier to get good spots. met up with The Niko Thirst Gang (big shoutout to @screamingoranges, @saquonbrkley, and @simplyirenic! it was great meeting y’all hope we could do it again sometime) and waited patiently in the houston heat and humidity outside the hotel. finally the team bus arrived and got my shirt signed by boa, fiete, benji, leon, and thomas! made a post about it here and i also have the full reception video if y’all wanna see!

but being the greedy thirsty binch that i am, i wasn’t satisfied at all. thiago and niko weren’t there. the coaching staff were the first to go down and hansi flick, dr. broich, and even Witch Doctor™ müller-wohlfahrt were there, but NOT niko. after the bus left and all the other entourage cars were off, i was about to rage outside the hotel bc i was really banking on seeing niko that day and taking a pic with him there (my blood pressure had been raging for 4 hours and then to be let down just like t h a t...). apparently he and thiago went straight to nrg stadium from the airport for a press conference. and guess what? NRG STADIUM WAS JUST DOWN THE ROAD FROM MY PLACE 💀💀💀

anyway, come saturday and it was game day! i was so pumped since my seat was five rows behind the bayern bench! y’all know what that means: unlimited firsthand access to peak drama!!! i also had this huge ass sign asking for niko’s bottle sdhfsdjfh. the game was great (bc we beat madridies and it was just really exciting all the way) and i saw stuff that we normally don’t get from TV (e.g. ALL the angry niko antics, leon changing into his kit on the bench, etc.) at one point niko finally looked at my direction while drinking from his bottle and i’m pretty sure he saw my sign but he just kept on drinking sultrily from that goddamn bottle sjadhksfksdfdk i hate him!!!!!!!

after the game i was feeling pretty let down and desperate bc i know sunday was the team’s last full day in houston and i didn’t want my extension to be for nothing. the practice session and paulaner bbq were invite-only events (ugh) and the mall meet-and-greets won’t have niko or everyone else in them. so i set my alarm, went to bed, and decided to try my luck by randomly going to the hotel again to see if i can get something. i had no idea if it was gonna work or not. it was a shot in the freaking dark.

sunday morning. 8:30 am. i went out armed with a sharpie, my cardboarded jersey, a pack of gum, and two bottles of water.

my uber drove me to the hotel entrance and i even got the whole five star welcome sjdhfsjdfbjkds

hotel staff: ”hi! welcome to the post oak hotel!”

me: “oh lmao i’m not actually a customer i’m just here to see if the team’s still here. have they left for practice yet?”

hotel staff: “oh no problem at all. they’re still here they just finished breakfast i think”

me: “oh cool i’ll just wait here then”

hotel staff and some guy in a bayern audi fcb tour polo shirt: “it’s so hot here, though. don’t you want to wait inside?”

me:

me: “............i can do that? am i allowed in?”

bayern guy: *shrugs* yeah sure. i’ve seen you around before anyway (nice guy talk for: i know ur stalking them lmao)

just like that.

i’m in. i made it.

u n s u p e r v i s e d. totally no barriers whatsoever. with full blast A/C too!

cue happy lil me, relieved to be out of the houston heat, entering the hotel and chilling in their nice plushy seats. (if y’all have cash to burn, it looks like a real good hotel too if you get to houston sometime). i kept on looking over my shoulder bc i still can’t believe they just let me in like t h a t. i tried to make myself look as harmless and innocent as possible and saw some of the training staff milling around and chatting in german (for a moment i thought i was back in munich it was so surreal). at some point, a very sleepy and very casual javi martinez in slides came up to the reception and i nearly passed out. he looked over at me and i waved and said hi and raised my shirt (signal if he wants to sign). he shook his head no and gestured to reception and i was like “oh sure no problem!” (i was trying not to freak out even if i was sad ok)

i’ve been trying to kill time by screaming here on tumblr until about 10-15 minutes later i heard the huge ass team bus pull up out front. a few moments after that, it all started.

i saw the kitmen carrying stuff to the bus and greeted them “guten morgen!” they were so cheery lmao (idk if it’s bc they just had breakfast or bc i greeted them in german). then i saw dr. broich and hansi flick come out in their training gear (both looking hella tanned sfnsjfjsdfn) and greeted them both again. dr. broich waved, said hi, and went straight to the bus but i was able to flag hansi down for an autograph. in my excitement (he was my first catch of the day!) i forgot to ask for a pic ugh but oh well

me: “thanks hansi! and welcome to bayern!”

hansi: *handing me back my shirt and trying (and failing) to put my sharpie back in its cap* “oh, thanks so much!”

after hansi went on his merry way, i saw dieter nickles (the press conference guy) and asked him for a picture and autograph too.

me: “hi dieter! can i please have a photo and an autograph?”

dieter: “are you sure? i’m not a player...”

me: “haha i know but if it’s all the same to you...”

he seemed pretty chuffed that i knew him and happily signed and took pictures (score #2!)

that was it for a while (they were the early birds) until giovane elber himself came out. i freaked (i love him) and tried to keep my voice from shaking when i asked him for the standard photo and autograph. in my haste, the first was pretty blurry and against the light but giovane, angel that he is, was like “oh no that’s bad. let’s try again” and maneuvered me to another angle. success! i luff u, giovane ;__;

then The Voice of the Allianz Arena himself came out. i semi-shouted “stephan!” and startled him that he nearly dropped his coffee snbfsdbfsdfsb. while he was signing my shirt, i asked him if he could give me a lil soundbite and HE DID! he sounds exactly the same as he does on TV during games omfg

the younglings started to come out too. i missed a few of them because they went out in a group so i was only able to flag down sarpreet and ron. oh well! they cute af! go bayern babies! grow up and save us from clownery!!!!!!

(ignore the pen in my mouth i was multitasking lmao)

after that, the ground started to shake (just kidding) bc Big Uncle Nik was there! after i got his autograph (a very simple N.S. lmaooo) , we tried to take a picture. i say “tried,” because i’m 5′3 (and 1/2....on a good day) and he’s built like a fuckin skyscraper. in the end, since he was so nice and realized it was hopeless, he bent down to my level so we could both fit in the frame sdhfbsdjfsbdfjd COME ON SÜLEEEEE

then Pure Angel Baby Fiete came out! i already got his autograph and had a pic with him in the hotel reception, but hey, one more can’t hurt! lemme tell y’all: he looks like an angel, and IS an angel. he’s always so game for photos and even said thank you after we took the pic and i’m like “um???? no, thank YOU!!!” he laughed and i cried lmaooo

also, javi finally showed up again. i raised my pen and phone and he was like “oh sure! yeah!” my brain was fried from Beautiful Athlete Overload that i forgot NOT to take a pic from that cursed angle. javi looked like he was in a hurry though so i didn’t even try to ask for a better pic. oh well, at least here he looks like he came down from heaven (he really looked like he did huehue)

(tumblr has this stupid 10 photo per post limit thing so stay tuned for more pics in part 2!)

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