#logistics of suffering

[theriverbeyond]

if you’re looking for stuff about necromancy as violation I always considered the cow thing to be a big example of that! Maybe it’s my inner 4-H kid, but it’s such an undignified and horrifying way to slaughter an animal IMO. It’s this drawn out, grotesque death that parallels both Mercymorn’s death and the 7ths blood cancer. It’s just such a disrespectful way to slaughter an animal, and I think you can read it as John’s first major betrayal of self, especially as it relates to his indigenous roots. Anyway. There’s just so much there.

you're RIGHT and i also think this is a case of how this is a feature, not a bug of necromancy.

death fuels necromancy, but it is specifically cruel, violent death that results in the most necromantic potential. gradual death/senescence en masse gives general ambient power (necromancy only works in areas where things have lived and died) but it is a mass of sudden violent death that flips a planet. Siphoning, in both the style of the Second and the Eighth house, lends necromantic power via an exquisitely painful process that can easily end in death. Necromancy itself eats away at the tissues, leaving all necromancers essentially physically disabled (Ianthe barely had the ability to hold her arms up to braid her own hair). Babies give off the largest burst of power when they die, and the Fourth House -- a planet that could very well be filled with only children -- specializes in suicide bombs.

and then of course you have the eugenics that is built into both the Seventh and the Eighth Houses -- and the Heptentary blood cancer specifically fascinates me because of how it is positioned as, essentially, a boon. If you get death-fuel by being in proximity to death, and you yourself are always dying, then you always have access to a very personal well of power. Until you die. "A dying woman is the perfect necromancer"..... An entire House that values short-lived necromantic potential over anything else and breeds their heirs to have this violation embedded into their blood.

and that isn't even really getting into the fact that this is just the violence that the House enacts upon it's own citizens. the majority of people on the business end of necromancy aren't House citizens at all, but non-House civilians whose death and dead bodies are hijacked to serve the Empire's purpose. but that's another essay

#(This is actually why I have a personal headcanon that 7th house adepts who suffer from the Heptentary blood cancer are the only “normal” ne #i.e. the adept who made that giant death spiral ghost ward in HtN could do it because she had access to a very personal source of thanergy) #necromancy #ask #anon #sorry this is sorta rambling i RLLY appreciate the 4H perspective #that's an angle i didn't think about before bc i have such little experience with the like #logistics and standards of practice and such of the animal slaughterhouse. much to think about #im brooding my other essay like an egg she isn't ready yet. she is really getting away from me

[tranny-fragrance]

ppl clearly just hate veganism because the idea that something you’ve done since you were born is bad is uncomfortable

like no vegans are not more likely to be eco fascists whst the hell are you talking about

like i can see the reasoning but it doesn’t make it true

yes there’s vegan fascists just like there’s fascists who will follow basically any philosophy you can find

you just have a problem specifically with veganism because it makes you uncomfortable

#vegan stuff #yes gathered some genuine worries some people have about veganism but like vegans know about em #if you’re worried about what vegans are saying about ppl who can’t only eat plants to live you can just ask vegans #some of them will be assholes who don’t care but much more will understand and give you the actual answer that #we don’t want people to die either #vegans take medicine tahts most certainly made off the back of animal suffering in some way #but people need meds #people think of veganism as a plant based diet but it’s much more than that #you don’t even ‘need’ to be fully plant based if you can’t do it physically or financially or logistically or whatever #probably expressing myself bad but who cares it makes me mad

[b4kuch1n]

hi! birthday. which means it's finally time t

yo what the itch store is fixed up now

damn what? I don't know where this came from. look all the comics I put on g*mr**d a year ago are back here again with all the formatting and typesetting by @fireflysummers as well as the exclusive bonus art wtf who did this. my werewolf comic on here too what the hells!! that one also got re-toned for printing if u want to AND an exclusive cover spread !!! what the fuck!!!!! come see for urself I can't make this shit up

#bakuspecial #comic #itch.io #bakugoods #<- made up a tag for when I sell things that aren't commissions just now #for folks who still remember me talking abt a physical run of these comics: I'm so sorry this year and the last have been brutal #and I live in a well and suffer a curse of international mails never going well. so the logistics became Very complicated #I still think abt it tho! I've prepped up all the assets just bc I thought abt it so much... we picked out a gift print for the orders #And a bonus print for the pack #but I couldn't gather my brain enough to make it happen. yet #it takes a bit of overhead so I gotta build that up. which is. right now talk for after the shit that just happened to me got smoothed out #but I do want it to happen. I've been sitting on this exclusive custom print for like two years now #I really love that drawing its so cute. I still hold that project close to my heart #anyways uhh itch store! happy birthday to me! #last year this time was so rough I didn't even Want to think about my birthday lol #strangely enough with this small little fragmentation grenade we just got I became more motivated to fuck around on my bday lmao #probably out of spite. hammer philosophy #my parents love making a whole thing out of me and the brother's bdays lol so dinner's gonna be something #but for now I can still chill. and prep up stuff. and do my thang #if u look thru the itch store and get something from there thank u so much! I hope the comics treat u well #and now. I make hot drink. have a good day lads! do a little jig for us let's go

[luvscharlos]

welp, happy birthday to alex ig (his birthday present is logans car)

#i do understand bc (logistically) they have more of a chance for points w alex #if he doesnt tho.. like what was the point #BUT thats so unfair to logan who wasnt the one who made the mistake in the first place #why should logan suffer when the team also fell behind and doesnt have a spare chassis??? #in terms of team and driver morale i do see how this can put a dent on that #most importantly this is just another lesson that this sport is all about money #like imagine they did that w ferrari (either guy).. the uproar would be ASTRONOMICAL??? #australia24 #williams #alex albon #logan sargeant

[princessnijireiki]

like the fact that people are saying, "we/our forebears were killed, trafficked, raped, genocided, muilated, brutalized, and are still facing echoes of the same and the aftermath of those blows to this day, all while the memories of those before us are erased when they are not denigrated and desecrated," and some of y'all think the only reason they have to be upset is MONEY?

y'all think this is about MONEY. okay.

meanwhile,

so you agree? to those who stand to benefit from all the above actions and reduplications of the histories and narratives that led to them, the genocided and enslaved represent an investment of capital and a means to acquire it, either through bodies living or dead, labor, trafficking, the act of dehumanization itself, or land, so the colonial agenda has always been one of a reduction to some humans' value to property, and to a dollar price?

you agree with the slavers and slaughterers that what's important is who the blood money goes TO and not that the blood was for sale to begin with?

#and it be the same people anti reparations too lol #(frankly I'm against it logistically just bc I see no way to execute it as a goal while maintaining safety for affected persons #and I do not believe it is ever going to be possible to set a ''fair'' price on half a millennium plus of human suffering #but y'all know what I mean) #cannot bee leeeeeeave I was so caught up in the ''SLAVERY IS THE BAD PART ACTUALLY TF?!??'' part of the convo 6mos ago #that I did not notice that like ''oh dw the checks aren't endorsed to alexander hamilton lol'' shit at the time #like that shit is bugged ENTIRELY the fuck out smh #not to pull a drive by on this other person's blog all after the fact & shit but you have GOT to be kidding me #hp #jkr #ofmd #hamilton

[dreamlogic]

2024 year of charlie gets a fucking break (hopefully. maybe. tbd.)

#ctxt #i'm on medication that's reduced my post-hysterectomy pain by about 70% #i have an intake appointment with a physical therapist in march & a referral to start trigger point injections #to hopefully finally recover as completely as possible from the nightmarish neuropathy that's plagued me since uuuhhhh #going on 2 years ago. holy shit. genuinely can't believe i've been surviving & functioning as well as i have for this long #while suffering a disabling & extremely painful surgical complication. fuck my original surgeon for brushing me off during that time #but the new provider i'm working with is so responsive & thorough in her approach & seems genuinely committed #to helping me finally get relief after all this time. she listens to my feedback & is flexible in her approach #and her assistant is a great communicator who's been handling most of the logistics of care coordination for me #and what a huge fucking relief that is. to not have to drag my doctors kicking & screaming towards maybe treating me eventually #i wanna cry. i finally feel like i'm being taken seriously and cared for. and i'm not BETTER yet (might never be the same as i was pre-op) #but i actually feel optimistic for the first time in over a year that i won't just have to deal with this agonizing pain on my own forever #i might actually see enough improvement that i can start to get back to living my life instead of just surviving it #money is tighter than it's been since i got laid off during early pandemic and that's stressing me out #but i promised myself that i would put my health first in 2024 and that means only working the bare minimum needed to pay my bills for now #genuinely i so fucking needed a break. i felt like i was trying to swim through a meat grinder last year #and it wasn't until i ended up in the ER about it that i finally was able to take my own pain seriously enough #to put my foot down & make some necessary changes that are now letting me focus on Getting Well With Myself at last #in hindsight it's like. really freaking me out how thoroughly i was able to compartmentalize & dissociate from how miserable i was #bc nobody who had the ability to help me would take me seriously & my shitty boss was like. extremely textbook emotionally abusive #and on one hand that was a survival mechanism that kept me on my feet during one of the worst times of my life. so props to myself there #but it was also very maladaptive how long & unnecessarily it went on before i snapped out of it & escalated things for my own safety #it was the same helpless frustration i often felt as a kid of like 'well nobody is on my side but me so i gotta suck it up & help myself' #and i think the family trauma shit that was going on last year definitely contributed to that. idk sense of doubling across time? #and things had to get Extremely Bad before they were bad enough for me to realize that although i felt like it #i am no longer an isolated & parentified island of a child who is beholden to the whims of ignorant & indifferent adults #i actually can and should take action to advocate for myself bc i am an adult and i CAN now change my circumstances as needed #instead of just enduring them as if i'm stuck there with no agency or chance to change things #and i have a really solid support system who helped me feel like it was possible to stand up for myself to get the help i desperately need #chronic blogging

[cambriancutie]

why is drawing kissing so fucking hard

#getting over the embarrassment of it so i can suffer with the logistics of it #????

[rhaenys-queenofkhyrulzz]

Someone give me an mctna reincarnation fic where won-jun and gun-woo hold hands and kiss under cherry blossom trees and have lil coffee dates in gunwoo's mom's Cafe or so help me God I will do it myself

#Listen idc how this works logistically #I just want seonhwi to be free to be in love without having to stab eo every 5 seconds #Even though mutual suffering is their whole relationship aesthetic #Cmon give em a break #mctna #yang se jong #woo do hwan #seo hwi #nam seon ho #doona! #bloodhounds

[fiendishartist2]

it is so incredibly important to me that paul is the one playing petscop the entire time. with the way it is so deeply personal to paul i can't understand why you would want to seperate him from the narrative

#i keep thinking about nexpos theory and finding more gripes with it sorry #the ai think just. doesnt make sense and also just kinda makes me sad #dont take paul out of his own story man...... #aside from the fact that it doesnt work like logistically i think its a weirs way to rationalize seperating paul from the story of petscop #which. idk. kinda defeats the purpose of most of it lol #esp the second half where paul is really suffering bc of both the game and the family #whenever i think about the ai theory i remember the ghost room and keep console running screen #i think about paul in anna's or jill's house. afraid and depressed and absolutely obsessed with a mystery he cant solve #slowly driving himself crazy #but every time he thinks he wants to quit. every time hes laying in bed at night and wondering if he should just call belle to come get him #the tv lets out a blaring alarm and turning red. pleading with him to keep console running to not let go to just keep playing the game #and eventually he gets up. sits in his chair. and starts again #h

[elishamanning]

Happy matchday Bayern fans! It’s time for FC Bayern March Madness (2023 Edition)!

It’s the question that every Tumblrina has undoubtedly been looking for an answer to: who is Bayernblr’s favorite player?

Starting on Monday, March 6, I’ll be posting a series of 1:1 polls matching up FC Bayern players. Seeding is determined by number of caps with the (senior) team. Players featured are those who are affiliated with FC Bayern in the spring of the 2022/23 season, including players that are currently loaned to and loaned from the club. Each poll will be live for 24 hours and the winner will move on to the next round until we determine Bayernblr's #1 player.

The bracket for the tourney is:

The matches will be posted at 9:00am EST on the following dates:

Round of 32: Monday, March 6 - Thursday, March 9*

Round of 16: Saturday, March 11 - Sunday, March 12*

Quarterfinals: Tuesday, March 14

Semifinals: Thursday, March 16

Final: Saturday, March 18

Results: Sunday, 19

*Due to the number of matches in the first two rounds, there will be 2-4 days with 4 matches

I will be tagging all updates and polls with "fc bayern march madness," should you want to track (or blacklist, I will not judge).

I hope y'all vote and enjoy!

#fc bayern march madness #i'm really committing myself to 2 weeks of this #so please participate and don't make me suffer more lol #also decided to use loan players! #largely cause they made it a nice round 32 which really helped with the logistics of the bracket #(also i know choupo’s name is missing the g the bracket generator cut that off rip)

[symptoms-syndrome]

Being. Really mean and unfair under the cut. I'm ashamed of how I feel but still need to shout it. It's about financial stuff. Don't take this as anything but my own emotions. Not reflective of my actual beliefs and morals and shit. I hold myself to a higher standard than this in behavior and action.

Just saw a GFM from someone else who raised my annual income in less than a month. It's hard. I know it's not a competition. And they deserve that money. But some small part of me is yelling "that's not fair! I have it harder than them and that's not fair!"

Of course. I don't know their whole story. Only their short summary on their GFM and post. But still. I can't help it. I wish when I stumbled I could have that. It's just not fair. When I didn't have money for things I did sex work or stole or whatever. It's not fair some people can just. Ask and receive. Like they're owed money for suffering. Suffering that's not as bad as mine. Why do I not deserve thousands of dollars? I've made GFMs before. Have I suffered too much? Am I just not good enough? Am I not pretty enough? Not relatable enough? Why do others get so much when I don't? When is it my turn? How much is enough suffering for me to deserve to be paid for it? I wish I could take time off work and pay my rent too. But I don't because I can't. I can't rely on the generosity of strangers THAT much. It's nice when it happens. It warms my heart. But I cannot guarantee it will always be there.

The amount of money that some people raise for things that are optional could change my life. And I know it's changing their life too. But part of me is bitter. Part of me says they should do everything they can before relying on the generosity of strangers and friends. Part of me says they need to suffer as much as I have. It's just not fair.

#it's not even. a logistical thing. i don't know how i would cope with others giving me that much #everything feels so transactional to me #i know this is wrong of me. They don't deserve my suffering

[shiawasekai]

So because 1) I don't hate myself that much, 2) they look so uncomfortable they are m a s s i v e, 3) Nela IS specialized in transmutation (Brown-Fur Transmuter is a beautiful archetype)

I was wondering if she could intentionally make her wings (and only the wings) smaller when she has no use for them... She can waste a mid level spell on that... As a treat... Got greater enduring spell for that...

Whenever she's in official business or has actual need for the wings, she can just dispel the spell.

#personal rambles #oc: nela damasio #look the idea of working out the logistics of those wings every time tives me shudders #having the most hilarious mental image of she changing sleeping poses and slamming her wings into the face of one of the companions #a certain someone may be much likelier to suffer such fate and would approve of the wing reduction spells I think

[mean-vampyre]

Time machine to jump 48 hours into the future

#hired? bought? idk the vet service to put my dog to sleep at home and all the other shit #but it's for monday since oh weekends it's harder to get them (do pets only die on working days?) #and we are worried she is not going to be strong enough until monday #and lowkey my brother is kinda panic because we don't want her suffer and if she dies now then what #and I'm highkey silently panicking because if she dies is on me to call and arrange everything to happen asap #but i don't know if the guy from the service website will pick up his phone today or tomorro after so called working hours #so yeah can it be monday already and everything go according to plan so I can be only worried about being sad and not about the logistics #of death?????? #i just want this to be over so I can be sad and she can be at peace #it's been sooo crazy idk know anymore I just want a fucking break #thursday my biggest concern was what should I have for lunch and look at me now #my dog is dying and I can't breath for the next 48hours

[desperatepleasures]

trying not to think about it but also i need to figure out what im gonna do with my hermit crabs and it's not like. urgent but at some point im gonna have to figure out how to change out their substrate and also there's a solid chance i'll have to rehome them someday :(

#(not rehoming them anytime soon but i wanna mentally prepare myself a little for when that day comes) #anyway re: substrate change. this is a 45gal tank filled with ~50lbs of sand etc. and i live in a 4th floor walkup #playsand comes in 25lb bags which i am not physically capable of carrying up 3 flights of stairs. my ex had to do it when we moved here #maybe i can like. hire someone to carry it up the stairs??? #but then i have to figure out how to dispose of their current substrate which again. LOTS of sand. #i could probably board them at work for a week or so in a smaller tank while i do the changeout #idk man it's just like. a lot #i feel bad their tank is so fucked and it's like. i can't physically fix the problem!!! #and as far as rehoming like. idk if move out someday i really doubt im gonna wanna move the tank. #i guess it depends on what kinda living situation im going to #and eventually i'll have to move out. or my roommate will move out and i won't be able to afford the mortgage on my own #and still have to move out lol #anyway again none of this is happening soon i just need to accept the reality of the situation #and like am i really gonna go through the nightmare logistics of a substrate change only to rehome them soon after? #but on the same token. am i really gonna give someone a nasty-ass tank? lmao #so. idk. i gotta think on that one. #i just feel bad for them i mean they have a fairly good quality of life #especially considering what most hermit crabs suffer lmao #but. i wish i could do better for them #i could probably find someone to take them at least because of my job lol #the logistics will suck no matter what and also i love those little guys and i'm getting sad just thinking about it :( #but they're only gonna get bigger and i definitely can't upgrade their tank in my current living situation #so either way something has to give ya know?

[npdlangley]

trying to do fun research on an oc project vs seeing an extremely alarming n possibly paranoia inducing article

#✴ idol error! #the price i pay suffering from autistic whos a fan of logistics

[blue-maiden4]

Father and son bonding time.

I firmly believe Arven would be a better dad than his own father and you all know I'm right ✊

The boy's name is Ryan and he is Arven's pride and joy. Is also kind and sweet (and a bit stubborn) like his mother.

#pokemon oc #my ocs #pokemon violet #suffered with the coloring of the kid's hair #really #what are the logistics behind Arven's bicolor hair??? #and don't even ask who the mother is we all know who it is #or at least you should know if you've seen my previous pokemon violet posts