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#loki tom hiddleston
aphiandhephi · 4 months ago
Y/N: *Holds a knife to Loki’s throat*
Loki:…Oh no
Y/N: You haven’t kissed me in three days and it fucking pisses me off
Loki:
Loki: SO YOU THOUGHT YOU SHOULD THREATEN MY LIFE?
Y/N, shrugging: I know it turns you on.
Loki:
4K notes · View notes
handmaiden-of-mischief · 2 months ago
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𝐁𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐓𝐨 𝐘𝐨𝐮
This one was requested by the lovely @janetsnakehole02 in this post. I hope y’all enjoy it! - Love, Kiki 🖤
𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 |  Loki x female reader
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 |  After having been in a secret relationship with Loki for a few weeks, a fight with him leads you to question what you truly mean to him - and there's a perfect way to find out if the trickster reciprocates your feelings. Who would've thought Loki would be the jealous type?
𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭 |  smut, fluff, jealous Loki, a tiny bit of angst in the beginning and a fluffy happy ending 
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 |  10 k 
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 |  SMUT (ONLY READ IF YOU’RE 18+ YEARS OLD!), (semi-)public sex, unprotected sex (please stay safe in real life and use a condom!), fingering, slightly dominant/possessive Loki, edging, orgasm control, slight bondage, a tiny bit of angst with a very sweet happy ending 
𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐋𝐨𝐤𝐢 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ♡  
𝐀𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬, 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐬, 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐝🖤 
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“I’m nearly done,” you began, your eyes firmly fixed on your reflection in the bathroom mirror as you applied the lipstick, careful not to smudge the vibrant crimson colour and trying hard to stay concentrated despite the sensation of Loki’s hands slowly snaking up your waist from behind, leaving your skin tingling in the wake of his fingertips even through the layer of your dress’ dark fabric.
“You look ravishing, darling,” the trickster purred from behind you, pulling you closer until your spine was pressed flush against his firm chest, and you inhaled sharply as he let his hands wander to your butt, squeezing. “The dress is pretty, but I’d love to rip it away from you right here and now.”
“It’ll be the last thing you do,” you threatened playfully. Though the thought of Loki ripping away your dress to take you right here in front of the bathroom mirror was an intriguing one, nonetheless. You’d chosen the most revealing outfit for tonight for exactly this reason, knowing all too well the dress would probably find its demise by the end of the night, ripped to shreds by Loki’s strong hands. Excitement rushed through you at the thought.
You gave your reflection a little pout while examining your make-up, before you closed the lipstick’s lid with a soft click.
“The others are probably already waiting,” you announced, “It’ll look suspicious if we’re the only ones being late.”
Loki chuckled. “You took your fair share of time to get ready, nevertheless I have a feeling that Thor or Stark will beat you to it.”
You’d hoped that Loki’s answer would be a different one, telling you that it was okay if the others suspected there was something else between the two of you, other than friendship. The bitter taste of disappointment weighed on your tongue as you replied curtly, “If we want to keep up our little secret, I suggest we meet downstairs with the others.”
A few weeks ago, Rhody had announced that for his birthday, he wanted nothing but a whole night of feeling normal again – a night of clubbing, dancing, drinking and partying with all the Avengers.
You turned to face Loki, who’d stepped away from you to lean against the doorway of the bathroom, arms locked in front of his chest. He was wearing black pants with a dark green dress shirt, looking as handsome as always with his beautiful black hair brushing against his shoulders and his regal, sharp features cast in shadows by the harsh bathroom lights. He was the only person to ever look handsome beneath the unnatural bright glow of a halogen lamp.
“If you’d like to keep staring at me a while longer, we could arrange time for that,” he teased, tearing you from your wandering thoughts with a playful grin tugging at the corner of his mouth.
Fidgeting with the smooth plastic case of your lipstick, you said, “We wouldn’t have to sneak around all the time if we just…told the others about us.”
Us. Us had started with a stolen kiss during training – a single kiss, quick and addictive in the best of ways, his lips on yours like a shot of pure adrenaline rushing through your veins to leave you reeling and dizzy and craving for more of it; a single kiss turning into a hundred feverish ones, turning into secret meetings to read, watch TV together, and most of all talk. Which had ultimately led to the first night spent tangled between the sheets and in each other’s arms. And this one night had turned into weeks. The tender rays of sunlight in your chest whenever you were with the trickster had long since morphed into a full-blown supernova glowing in your chest, into feelings much stronger than mere attraction, more than a simple crush, but you kept this truth locked in your heart, afraid Loki wouldn’t reciprocate the feelings you were harbouring for him.
And still, neither of you had broached the subject of what us exactly was.
It wasn’t the first time you’d voiced the thought to stop tiptoeing around the Avengers headquarters and simply tell the others – though every single of your careful attempts to talk about what it was, exactly, between the two of you, and whether it should stay a secret, had been thwarted by Loki. This time, you swore to yourself, you wouldn’t let him brush the topic off with a charming smile and another of his breath-stealing kisses.
“Do you think now is the adequate time to discuss matters like these?”, Loki inquired with a raised eyebrow.
You locked your arms in front of your chest, mirroring the trickster’s own stance, before you retorted, “We both know the timing doesn’t matter. I’ve been trying to talk about this for weeks.”
“Which means it can wait until the evening is over,” Loki remarked with his signature smirk.
“Stop that.”
“Stop what?”
“This little look-how-handsome-and-charming-I-am-thingy you’re always doing to avoid conversations like this one.”
Loki’s smirk widened, obviously unaware of your growing disappointment as he teased, “You can’t just ask me to turn off such essential parts of my personality, darling.”
“And the cockiness, too.”
Loki tilted his head and drawled, “You didn’t have anything about my cockiness last night, when I –“
He was cut off by your own exasperated groan, pinching the bridge of your nose to keep your composure.
Loki seemed to have finally noticed the switch in your mood, because he stayed silent for once.
“What are we, Loki?”, you asked quietly, and the fight had momentarily left your voice. You sounded as tired as you suddenly felt.
When Loki didn’t reply, the words you’d suppressed for so long began to sputter out of you to fill the sudden uncomfortable silence.
“I want to fall asleep in your arms, Loki. For real, without having to fear to oversleep or get caught in your bed. I want to wake up with you, never again wondering how to sneak back to my own room without being seen by the others. I want to hold your hand and kiss you whenever I feel like it, in the broad daylight, and stop pretending to be just friends when there hasn’t been a single night in the past weeks we didn’t spend together. I don’t even know what we are.”
I don’t even know what I am to you.
Your voice had grown impatient, prodding Loki to finally give you a reaction. Any reaction. To tell you that all these things he whispered to you under the veil of midnight, the sweet nothings he murmured into your feverish kisses and breathed against your sweat-glistening bare skin when he was buried inside of you, were more than pretty lies he was spinning simply because it was the heat of the moment, spinning them not because it was you but because it was you lying beneath him in these moments, a replaceable pastime and nothing more.
You’re the most beautiful creature in all of the Nine Realms.
You’re all I want.
You’re mine.
I’m yours.
But never these three words you wished to hear more than anything else, the three words burning alongside the desire that leapt in your heart whenever he was with you. Never I love you.
“It was thrilling in the beginning,” you added warily. “But I’m sick of the sneaking around and the secrecy and the lies. Because whatever this is, between us –“ you waved your hand at the space between the two of you, watching Loki’s expression, searching for the trace of an emotion in the carefully contained mask of calmness, broken only by the small frown that made a fine line appear between his dark eyebrows as he listened, “ – it’s good. It’s something beautiful and trying to hide it from the world makes it feel like something forbidden and…and bad. And I don’t want it to feel bad.”
I don’t want to feel like a fling to be discarded whenever you wish to. I love you, you wanted to scream at him at the top of your lungs, Don’t you feel the same way?
Obviously, he didn’t. Else, he would have already told you that he was in love with you…right? It had always been your deepest, darkest fear, this beast in your heart whispering to you that you were nothing more than a pastime, a pretty plaything for the God of Mischief until he was bored by your company and moved on to the next entertainment, leaving you behind with a shattered heart and tears that would never dry. Right now, this beast which lived in your chest was taking the wheel.
“I might not be able to give you these things”, Loki finally replied coolly.
“Able to? Or willing to?” You hated yourself for the bitterness seeping from your heart into your voice, for how clingy it made you feel when all you wanted was an answer, or at least an explanation for all the secrecy Loki was demanding about this weird little us.
“Do you want me to bring you a dictionary to find more synonyms to throw at me?”, Loki growled.
You could feel anger stirring awake in your stomach, hot and stinging.
“Do you think humour is going to end this argument?”, you snapped, and Loki narrowed his eyes.
“Do you think prodding me will?”
“We clearly don’t want the same things,” you snapped back, and you felt as surprised by your sudden outbreak as Loki looked.
“Clearly,” he replied, and you could feel the air shifting between the two of you. “Clearly, you don’t trust me,” Loki added, and his voice had turned as sharp as the blades of his golden daggers.
“Clearly you’ve never given me a reason to trust you.”
Loki’s frown deepened. “You don’t even deny that you don’t trust me?”
“I’m surprised that you’re surprised I don’t trust you,” you quipped, trying to swallow down the rage which began to simmer beneath your barely composed demeanour. There was a part in you that wanted to take back these words the instant they’d left your lips – but the other part, the one which relished the tiny flash of hurt in Loki’s eyes as these words filled the tense air between the two of you, was stronger right now, overpowering the hurt and disappointment you felt.
“I take it we’ll meet downstairs and pretend we haven’t been busy fucking each other last night, then,” you glowered, earning a glare from Loki.
“Do you want to go first, or are you scared I’ll stab you in the back if you do?”, he snapped. “You never know, with someone as untrustworthy as me.”
A mirthless laugh bubbled up your throat. “Don’t worry, you’ve perfected the art of back-stabbing without an actual dagger just fine.”
With another scalding look at him, you left to join the others.
***
With three cars, you’d chosen the option to ride in a car without Loki – a decision which didn’t even lead to raised eyebrows and curious glances because officially, there was nothing else between you and the trickster but friendship, if at all.
None of the others noticed your quietness as you watched the city lights passing in colourful blurs beyond the car’s windows, the flood of your own thoughts racing each other like the blinking neon letters on an electric billboard, drowning out Sam’s laughter and Nat’s comments, Bucky’s bickering voice and Steve’s chuckles as he drove the car.
“You still drive like an old man,” Nat’s voice floated through the haze of your thoughts, followed by Bucky’s comment, “That’s because he is an old man.”
If Loki didn’t want to tell the others about whatever it was between the two of you, he clearly didn’t feel the same things as you.
A lump was already forming in your throat, tears stinging in the corners of your eyes as you felt heartbreak, a heartbreak you’d wished to never have to experience, rush towards you like a high-speed train.
Pull yourself together, you chided yourself. No tears. Not tonight. There was nothing you could do right now apart from keeping your composure and your dignity.  
Except…there was. Alongside the idea creeping into your racing mind, a small smile dawned on your face.
If Loki didn’t talk to you willingly and give you the explanation he owed you, you’d have to make him. He might have been the trickster…but he wasn’t the only one.
When you finally arrived at the club – located inside of a pretty, white-washed building which you’d have pegged as a library or a court building rather than a club – and the basses from the music inside filled the warm night air of the parking lot, your frown had transformed into a smirk.
Your car had been the last to arrive, and when you sauntered into the dimly lit interior of the club beside Nat, letting yourself get swallowed in flickering, colourful lights and thumping basses, you let your eyes roam over the partying crowd, the dancing strobe lights illuminating snippets of fabric, a flash of blonde or red hair here and there, a glinting bracelet for a split second before the lighting changed. You narrowed your eyes as you scanned the crowd for a flash of raven hair, a pair of twinkling blue eyes.
“Did you spot any of the others yet?”, Nat shouted beside you, and her voice was nearly swallowed by the music, the volume so high that the floor beneath your feet seemed to vibrate. It had been so long since your last visit to a club, to normality, that you’d forgotten how it felt.
“Not yet,” you shouted back, “But they’ll show up, eventually.”
“Let’s get some drinks,” she shrugged.
You let yourself get pulled along with her, weaving through the throngs of people on the dance floor and towards the bar at the other end of the large space. The bar, with bottles of all kinds and shapes lining its glass shelves, illuminated by a dim white glow of the wall behind, was like a lighthouse in the sea of dancing people, and it looked surprisingly pretty. The whole club looked pretty, with its high ceiling, held up by white pillars resembling those in an ancient Greek temple, and the black marble tiles of the floor. Definitely fancier than the last club you’d visited and swore to never re-visit again.
“I think I saw Steve back there!”, Nat chimed up with another shout, pointing to somewhere behind you.
“It’s okay, go to him. I’ll get a drink first.” You were in desperate need of one.
With a nod, Nat left, a flash of fiery red curls disappearing in the crowd to leave you alone as you fought your way to the bar, where it was less crowded – and your eyes fell on Loki, black hair shining in the white glow of the illuminated wall, leaning against the bar, elbows casually resting on the glass top as his gaze scanned the partygoers. He looked gloomy, his lips drawn to a line, his signature amused smirk wiped away. Was he thinking about your fight, or merely annoyed by the mundane Midgardian clubbing scene?
“If you try to look any more gloomy, you’ll turn into Bucky without even having to shapeshift,” you commented as you leaned on the bar counter beside Loki, your elbows casually resting on the cool glass while you feigned to study the list of drinks for a few seconds. Your voice was loud enough to be heard over the music and low enough to still sound sultry, and Loki’s eyes snapped to yours.
“I’ll take a shot,” you said to the barkeeper who’d nodded at you to take your order, and he frowned in response.
“Which one, doll?”
“A strong one.”
With a sideways glance at Loki, you added under your breath, “I’ll need it.”
The barkeeper nodded and busied himself with a few bottles, and you turned to fully face the trickster while you waited for your drink.
“I knew you couldn’t stay away from me,” Loki teased, and you deadpanned, “I can’t imagine why people don’t like you.”
“They’re jealous, obviously.” Loki grinned, exactly aware of how insufferable he was right now.
“This is exactly why I need a drink first,” you quipped.
“It seems safe to assume you’ve decided to stop ignoring me?”, he purred with a gleam in his eyes that told you he was still furious. Great. So were you.
You gave him a smirk as you retorted, voice dripping with sweetness and sarcasm, tasting like rotten honey on your tongue, “Are you salty because I rode in a different car than you? It thought you didn’t want others to know we were…involved. We wouldn’t want them to get suspicious, would we?”
Loki chuckled, his eyes narrowing as they stayed locked on you. “Are we opening round two of our little lover’s quarrel? If so, I’d appreciate it if we could continue outside. Shouting at each other is only half as fun when you need to do it to get heard over the music.”
“I’m not here to continue our fight,” you replied, letting a slow smirk tug at your lips as you stepped towards him, until there were only inches left separating the two of you, and you could feel the air sizzle with tension as you did, Loki’s gaze unwavering on yours, scrutinizing you.
“No?”, he inquired, raising an eyebrow in suspicion.
“No,” you repeated light-heartedly. “We both made our wishes pretty clear. Or did you change your mind?”
“Did you?”, Loki countered with mock in his voice, and anger rushed through you. Anger and disappointment, walking hand in hand. You had a hard time swallowing them back down.
“Then we seem to find ourselves at a stalemate,” the trickster continued when you didn’t reply, tilting his head as he examined you.
“Stalemate,” you repeated, “Is that what it is to you? An entertaining little game?”
“And you accused me of being salty.” His quip, spoken with this infuriating mock-indignation, made your blood boil once more. Loki knew exactly how to rile you up.
It took all of your willpower to school your face into a calm expression. “You’re driving me crazy.”
“With desire? With want?”, Loki taunted.
“Will you ever shut up for a second?”, you retorted sweetly, which earned you a winning smile from the trickster; a smile which, indeed, drove you crazy with want. Though he didn’t need to know that.
“Only if you make me,” he drawled, and the darkness of his voice sent a pleasant chill crawling along your spine.
Keeping your expression in a bemused mask, you quipped, “You didn’t specify how. Stab you? Push you down a set of stairs? The possibilities are endless, and it’s been a long car ride to contemplate them.”
Loki snickered, obviously enjoying your bickering as much as you were starting to, and shrugged, “You wouldn’t be the first to try to kill me.”
“I might be the first to succeed, though, if you keep annoying me.”
“I love it when you threaten me,” Loki purred darkly, and the expression in his beautiful eyes, reflecting the dancing strobe lights of the club when they held your gaze, turned mischievous. Yes, he was undoubtedly enjoying himself – and he was probably testing the waters, trying to assess how angry you truly were.
“And that’s exactly why I’ll stop now.”
“A shame, really.”
You bit your lip, giving Loki a sultry smirk before you retorted, “I was planning on putting this night to better use than fighting. And that mouth of yours.”
“And will you divulge these plans to me, darling?”, Loki inquired with delight, and the pet name dripping from his tongue sounded like an attempt to tease you rather than an actual term of endearment this time.
“My original plan for this night…”, you drawled, tilting your head as you kept watching Loki’s expression while you let your fingertips dance up the sleeve of his dress shirt, slowly dragging your nails over the soft fabric, “was to dance with you.”
You inched closer, closing the remaining space between the two of you, eyes never straying from his.
“Only to dance?”, Loki teased, and somehow the smooth timbre of his voice, as low as it was, drowned out the loud music with ease, and the playful spark in his eyes made heat swell in your body. You knew that spark all too well – and every blissful consequence which usually followed in the form of a flick of his wrist to tear away your panties, or a swivel of his hot tongue against your soaked heat as he made you writhe on the sweat-soaked sheets beneath him.
“Only?”, you smirked, “You know what they say about dancing.”
“And what is that?”, he breathed, his tone as heavy and dark as your own, and you watched these mischievous sparks dance in his eyes when you let your hands travel higher; up his shoulders to lock at the nape of his neck, your fingertips playing with the strands of glossy midnight-black hair, all the while Loki’s hands settled on the curve of your waist to pull you closer to him.
Did he truly expect you to forget the fight this easily? To draw you back under his spell with a few flirtatious words and charming smiles? He was in for a surprise then, you thought, and your smile turned vicious as you began to roll your hips against his, slowly, in time with the rhythm of the song which thumped through the air like the club’s very own heartbeat.
“If you do it right, dancing –“ another roll of your hips while you let your voice grow heavy, and this time, you brushed against the growing bulge in his pants, making your smile widen at the impact of your words, the knowledge that you held this power over him, “ – is like sex.”
“We should put that to the test”, Loki murmured, and let his hands wander further down your sides, guiding you through the slow movements of your hips as you swayed in tune with the song, guiding you against him so your core met the growing bulge in his pants, and a low moan was drawn from your lips at the sensation of it, the familiar yearning which bloomed in your lower belly to accelerate the beat of your traitorous heart and soak your panties with your arousal.
“We should,” you breathed, and gasped as one of Loki’s hands left its place on your rear to grab a fistful of your hair at the nape of your neck to gently angle your head. The movement of your hips against his grew fiercer alongside the desire he so skilfully incited in you.
“Though I cannot help but wonder what else you’d planned for tonight, apart from dancing.”
You chuckled. You didn’t even need to look at the trickster to feel the wolfish grin paying on his lips and betraying the innocence of his tone, and to your discontent, it sent another thrilled shudder through your spine.
“Do you truly think my anger will be soothed so easily?”, you inquired with a purr, and angled your head to let your lips brush against the sensitive skin of his throat, right above the point of his pulse, and you could feel his grasp on you tighten in response to the sensation. Good.
“It was my intention to find out.” The strain in his voice, the obvious need he felt at your closeness and your well-placed touches, was too strong to be disguised by his calm demeanour. He wanted you just as much as you wanted him, the fury after the fight serving as nothing but oxygen to feed these greedy flames of want.
“Then let me indulge you, darling,” you lilted, and let your head roll back as you gyrated your hips against his, your lips parted with the ghost of a moan, painting the picture of what this night could have looked like, had he treated you differently.
“I bought new lingerie,” you continued with a suggestive smirk, and watched as his own smile grew hungrier with every word that spilled from your lips, every languid roll of your hips to rub against his hardening length, every single one of your little moans as you relished the sweet currents of pleasure these touches sent skittering through your body.
“Though,” you leaned closer, so close that your lips hovered mere inches from his own, close enough to breathe in each other, and it took all of your willpower not to let him kiss you senseless and forget about the argument, at least for tonight…but no. He’d hurt you. And your anger was stronger than any lust at this moment. “– one could argue if these scraps of lace could count as lingerie.”
“My favourite kind.” Loki’s gaze left yours to travel down to your lips.
“I know. That’s why I picked them.” You gave him your most flirtations half-smile, before you asked with a low voice, “I’m wearing them right now. Would you like to see them?”
You pressed yourself against him one last time, relishing the soft groan the movement drew from Loki’s lips before he breathed, “I’d love to.”
With these words you leaned even closer, tilting your head as if you were going in for a kiss, and watched as Loki mirrored your movement to capture your lips with his as he always did – but your hand reached down to grab your shot-glass from the bar counter instead, winking at Loki, whose smile had morphed into a crestfallen expression, before you downed the shot in one go. The alcohol burned its way down your throat, and you suppressed a flinch at the sharp taste of it, but Loki’s expression had been worth it.
“Too bad then that – how did you phrase it? – secrecy is all you can give me. Though that’s okay,” you shrugged, “Because obviously, I’m free as a bird. And I’m going to have a hell of a good time tonight.”
For the first time in his life, Loki was speechless.
“See you later, darling,” you purred while pulling a dollar note out of your dress’ deep cleavage to place it beside the empty shot-glass on the bar, and without another glance at Loki, you turned to saunter into the dancing crowd, feeling his gaze burning at your back with every step until you’d vanished from his sight.
To say you felt gleeful in the most malicious way would have been an understatement.
***
You had no problem to find other guys happy to dance with you, careful to set boundaries as you did – and careful to always stay where Loki could see you, raking a hand through your hair as you threw back your head and suggestively moved your hips in time with the music, another man’s hands settled on your waist instead of his own. Occasionally, you caught Loki’s gaze, observing with bitter satisfaction how his expression turned darker, how the dangerous glint of something that distinctly looked like jealousy crept into his eyes as he watched you from his place by the bar. When the guy you were currently dancing with spun you around to press your spine flush against his chest, your gaze locked on Loki’s once more, and with a wicked little smile, you threw him a lewd wink.
It would be an interesting night, indeed. Riling Loki up, making him watch you have a perfectly fun time without him, ignoring his stares for the most part of the night while you danced with strangers in a way only he was supposed to dance with you while he was rendered a mere spectator, was a whole new kind of satisfaction – though you couldn’t help but wonder how much it would take until the God of Mischief finally snapped. And how that would look like.
***
You didn’t know how much time had passed, but you parted ways with the last guy you’d danced with without another glance in Loki’s direction, to search for your friends and take a small break from dancing, making your way to the other side of the dance floor through the partying crowd. The air had become stuffy, and the stench of alcohol wafting throughout the space probably lingered in your hair already, despite having had only a single drink, the warmth of which had long ago worn off in your belly.  
You didn’t get far, though. As soon as you’d made eye contact with Thor and Nat, both standing beside one of the elegant pillars at the edge of the spacious dance floor, colourful drinks in even fancier glasses clasped in their hands, and you gave them a small smile to signal you’d noticed them – someone grasped the curve of your waist from behind, spinning you around to face them.
A flash of ocean-blue eyes under the strobe lights as Loki’s free hand, the one which wasn’t gabbing your waist, shot up to settle on the side of your throat, his thumb flicking over the point of your spiking pulse as his fingertips tangled in your hair, and the words of protest you’d meant to utter at his sudden appearance were swallowed by your gasp of surprise when he crashed his lips to yours with an angry growl.
Your head spun. Dizziness and warmth took control over your senses, a feeling only Loki’s kisses were ever able to incite in you, and despite the anger and frustration at the fight earlier, you didn’t push him away. All you wanted to do right now was to let yourself drown in the hot current of pleasure his greedy kiss flooded you with, that knocked every wisp of breath from your lungs and every rational thought from your mind with its ferocity. You let yourself melt into the possessive grasp of Loki’s hands with a soft groan as he pulled you even closer and deepened the kiss.
You’re mine. Loki didn’t need to growl the words – the possessiveness of his kiss, the way he touched you, as if he wanted for every person in the club to know who you belonged to, sufficed to convey the message. Only mine.
The skin on your neck beneath Loki’s fingertips prickled as if electricity were sparking from his skin to yours, and he didn’t wait for another second to swirl his tongue over your bottom lip, coaxing your mouth open for him, to swirl his tongue over yours and taste you. Arousal pulsated through your veins, dampening the lace of your panties.
You lost count of time as you let yourself sink into the kiss, your mind’s screaming don’t let him lull you in again drowned out by the surge of desire and everything else you felt for him, your pride thrown overboard alongside any reason as you eagerly opened your mouth for him, to taste him, and you vaguely noticed how your hands shot up to bury in his smooth black hair, your body working on muscle memory as your legs turned weak and your traitorous little heart fluttered out for him once more to crush in his icy grip. But for now, all you cared about was the sensation of his lips on yours, his hot tongue dancing over yours, the swirling movement a reminder of all the other things he could do to you with his skilled tongue, making you moan softly into the kiss. With his hand on your throat and his scent all over you, he was a poison pill you’d never be able to get out of your system again, making you crave more and more even if it would probably destroy you in the end.
A whine escaped your throat when Loki pulled away from the kiss as suddenly as he’d initiated it, and the expression in his eyes, the intensity of his emotions churning in their depths, beneath the shadow of his excitement, pinned you to your place.
“Is this what you wanted?”, Loki inquired with a snarl, and your gaze briefly flitted towards Nat and Thor, their mouths hanging open in utter shock and surprise at what they’d just witnessed, before they snapped back to Loki, and the anger in his tone, as if he were the one in the right, momentarily made the rage boil in your veins once more, alongside the hot currents of want which crawled along your bones, the urge to feel his hands on every inch of your heated skin as both of you glared at each other, panting heavily.
“You know damn well that you’ll need to do more than just –“
Your sentence was cut off in a squeal as green light engulfed you and Loki, and you stumbled a step backwards as the club’s interior felt like spinning around you, the ground bucking, black marble replaced with asphalt, and when your hand shot behind you to steady you, your palm met something smooth and cool. The hood of a…car.
Loki had teleported the two of you out of the club and onto the parking lot, which was dimly lit by the streetlamps in the distance and empty as far as you could see.
“Wow,” you huffed, voice still laced with anger, “I didn’t peg you as the jealous type.”
Loki chuckled, but the storm kept raging in his ocean eyes. “Jealous? There’s nobody in there who could compete with me. We both know it.”
“Though obviously, you’re so insulted by me dancing with someone else that you’ve decided to abduct me”, you crooned, but the sarcasm threaded into your voice couldn’t disguise the strain of arousal from this single kiss that had already been enough to rob the strength form your legs and dampen the lace of your flimsy panties, and Loki seemed to know it as well. His smirk turned feline, teeth flashing in the lights of the streetlamps and his eyes were ablaze with an intensity that fuelled the glowing want in your core only further.
“Do you truly think you could start playing these games with the God of Mischief and walk away, just like that?”, Loki countered, and crossed the last step between the two of you, tension sizzling through the air like the static of a radio, and you could feel the hammering of your pulse, accelerated further by Loki’s closeness, as if every single nerve in your body were humming with need for Loki.
You leaned closer towards him, responding with a wicked grin of your own while you quipped, “I walked away because I won the game before it even started. Though for a mere game, you’ve taken it rather seriously, I might add.”
Loki scoffed, a sound so guttural and low that it sounded like a growl, and the throbbing in your core intensified as the trickster mirrored your movement and angled his head, leaning in as you’d done earlier at the bar, close enough for his lips to hover only inches from yours, his warm breath ghosting over your lips, making your skin prickle.
“And for someone who claimed to have fun without me, you seemed to be exceedingly desperate for my attention,” Loki mused, his voice low and dark, inching even closer until the back of your legs brushed against the front of the car parked right behind you.  
“Says the man who got jealous enough to abduct me,” you purred sweetly. The tip of your nose brushed against his, sparks jolting through you at the promise of another of his searing kisses, stoking the heat in your core as Loki closed the remaining space, and his lips were on yours once more, his body pressing flush against yours as he guided you backwards and your spine met the hood of the car, elbows resting on the cool metal to steady yourself and a guttural moan escaped your lips as Loki nudged your legs apart with his knee, to settle between them, rubbing against the soaked spot of your panties as he did.
Never once breaking the open-mouthed kiss, the trickster placed his hands on the car’s hood to corner you further with his body, and the possessiveness of his movements made your mind spin like a carousel with a want that was nothing short of feral.
“It’s not an abduction if you’re not tied up,” Loki mused against your lips, and before you could register the meaning of these words, your sharp intake of breath already filled the night air as your hands were pinned to the cool metal above your head with the invisible force of Loki’s magic, effectively tying you to the car’s hood.
“There. Now it’s an abduction. We wouldn’t want you to stroll away again, hmm?”, Loki crooned and rolled his hips against yours, so his thigh rubbed against your core through the soaked fabric of your panties, summoning a half-suppressed moan from you at the sensation of the pleasure which rushed through your body like liquid fire at the contact.
“I wouldn’t have strolled away if you’d given me a reason to stay,” you panted, desperately rutting your hips against his thigh to gain more friction, knowing too damn well he wouldn’t grant you release that easily. No, it was payback time, and the devil’s grin on Loki’s lips was indication enough that he was planning to make you beg.
His hands splayed on the car’s hood on either side of your head, Loki leaned closer to you, but instead of continuing the greedy kisses you’d anticipated, the trickster angled his head and let his lips brush against the shell of your ear as his hips met yours once more in another deliciously slow motion, making your eyes fall shut with the feeling of his hot breath caressing the exposed skin at the side of your neck while he whispered, “I’m giving you a reason to stay.”
Strands of his raven hair tickled your cheeks, and you groaned softly as he planted a feverish kiss to the point of your thundering pulse, as feather-light as the touch of a moth’s wing and bruising at the same time.
“You intend to leave me chained to a car for the rest of the night so I won’t dance with others? Is that your plan?”, you challenged, though the intended sass was lost to your voice breaking with the strain of your want as you gyrated your hips against his, tugging at the magic still restraining your wrists above your head and render you helpless and at the trickster’s mercy, but they didn’t budge. “You’re right, Loki. That doesn’t seem jealous at all.”
“I’m merely giving you what you wanted” Loki breathed against the side of your neck. Loki’s body was pressed so tight against yours that you could feel the flex of his abs, the heat of his skin seeping through the green fabric of his dress shirt. When his tongue darted out to trace the column of your throat, claiming you, tasting you, you suppressed the moan which threatened to spill from the back of your throat.
“Making me jealous,” Loki cooed, pulling away slightly to watch you intently while he dragged the tip of his index finger along your cheek and down, following the side of your neck down to your collarbone. “Making me give in to your will.”
It cost some strength to snicker in response. “You’re pretty confident, darling. What if this wasn’t about you, for once? What if I just wanted a bit of fun?”
Loki’s eyes flashed dangerously, and it drove you crazy with the need for him throbbing in your dripping core. “If you actually wanted me to believe it wasn’t for my attention,” he drawled slowly, “then you did an exceedingly bad job acting like it.”
“What did you expect me to do? Crawl back to you and apologize for something that’s your fault?”
“How boring that would have been,” Loki purred, “You played me well, darling. I might even admit that I’m impressed.”
“How very generous of you,” you quipped, breathless, wishing nothing else than to have his lips on yours again, exploring every inch of your body. Starting with the aching spot at the apex of your thighs.
Loki’s voice darkened when he added, “But now it’s my turn to play, darling.”
His voice, darkened with lust, was like claws which gently raked over the curve of your spine, chasing the goosebumps his touches elicited on your skin.
Your witty retort died before it could leave your lips, devoured by the low moan tearing from you as Loki’s lips found the side of your neck again, and his hands strayed to the hem of your short dress, to hike up the fabric, his nails scraping over the sensitive skin of your thighs. You arched your hips into his touch in response, desperate for him to remove the panties. The thought of being in public, in the middle of a parking lot, was pushed back into a hazy corner of your mind for now.
“Do you think anybody else could make you feel as good as I can?”, Loki drawled, and his fingers danced over the damp lace of your fabric, followed by your reply of another incoherent moan.
“Use your words,” Loki commanded softly.
“Nobody,” you panted.
“Nobody what?”, he teased, his voice raw and dark, his lips barely grazing the skin above your collarbone as he spoke.
“Nobody else can make me feel as good as you can,” you forced the words out on a groan. If this was a game of control, you’d lost it already.
“It seems like you need a little reminder of who you belong to,” Loki drawled sweetly as he continued to trace the delicate lace of your panties, torturingly slowly, and you felt as if you might burst with the need for him to take you right against the hood of that damn car. You wanted nothing more than to grab him and pull him closer, but his magic’s grasp on your wrists was unrelenting.
You were too proud to beg, though – at least for now.
“You seem so sure that I’m yours” you breathed, imitating his dark purr as you gyrated your hips to meet his, “But if you were as sure as you make it sound, there would be no need for you to tie me up.”
“Then I’ll need make sure to ruin you for every other person in this realm,” Loki growled, and his teeth grazed the sensitive spot above your pulse, making your mind go momentarily blank with the sensation.
“How?” Your voice was breathless, urgent.
“I’ll make you beg.”
Another groan spilled from your lips as Loki’s hands tore away the panties, and the delicate lace ripped under his strong grip as if it were nothing but a piece of paper, discarded on the glittering asphalt.
“These were new,” you hissed, but the protest was half-hearted.
“I could always stop,” Loki whispered against the sweaty skin at the crook of your neck, trailing open-mouthed kisses over the curve of your shoulder, “You only need to tell me to let you go, and I will. Though we both know that’s the last thing you want right now.” He let his fingers explore the wetness of your folds, tracing up towards the sweet spot where you needed him most, and you blissful whine turned into one of frustration as he deliberately avoided the swollen bundle of nerves.
“And what do I want?”, you panted. “Because once more, you seem all talk and no action. Or did you simply tie me up so I wouldn’t walk away in the middle of your villainous little monologue?”
Loki’s dark chuckle filled your core with aching need, and he replied mischievously, “If you want me to give you what you need, be a good girl and beg for it.”
“Or what?”, you replied sweetly, and your voice broke into a drawn moan as he let his thumb finally, finally graze your aching clit, making you urgently snap your hips to meet his thumb, to gain some friction, and the raspy chuckle that tumbled from his throat at your obvious despair seemed to vibrate through your own body as his lips found the spot above your pulse again. Loki’s teeth sunk into the sensitive skin of your neck to leave his mark, visible for everyone who’d lay eyes on you in the next days, and you cried out – not in pain, but raw pleasure. You wanted his fingerprints burned onto your skin, his teeth marking every spot on your body, his scent of magic and herbs and leather to linger on your skin for everyone to know you were his, and he was yours.
“I don’t see how you’ll make me beg like this,” you teased breathlessly, relishing every ounce of pleasure the greedy movement of his fingertips over your clit bestowed on you as you kept rocking your hips in time with him, helping him expertly build your orgasm. Loki pulled away from your neck to watch you writhe and quiver beneath him, the cool metal of the car’s hood hard against your back, though you couldn’t care less right now. The first glowing waves of your climax made your spine tingle.
“Fuck, I’m – “, you began to moan, but the soft sound fused into a desperate whimper as Loki pulled his fingers away in a flourish, and his smirk turned even more wicked at your indignant glower.
“How does it feel,” he crowed innocently, “to be teased like this, darling?”
“You tell me,” you retorted, quickly catching yourself to not give him the reaction he was aiming for, trying your best to ignore the throbbing in your core as you added gleefully, “It was the first time I saw the God of Mischief himself speechless when I left you at the bar.”
Loki only grinned. “The way I see it, the scales have tipped in my favour rather quickly. How would you like it,” he rasped while slowly dragging his fingertips over your wet folds, careful to avoid the swollen nub of your clit, relishing how your breath caught in your throat at the motion, “if I just left you tied up here, all needy and wet for me, craving your relief?”
“Don’t you dare,” you hissed, or rather panted, earning another grin from the trickster.
“Either you’ll need to beg for me to continue…or I’ll leave.”
“You won’t.”
You both knew he would.
“Fine.” Loki pulled away from you, taking one step backwards, then another, his pace leisurely while he raised his hands in feigned defeat. “Maybe you’ll be cooled down a bit until it’s time to leave –“
“Wait,” you blurted through gritted teeth, and Loki froze mid-movement, waiting for you to continue.
“Wait what?”, he demanded, voice raw with his own arousal and lined with delight while a slow smile curved his lips. “I don’t like to be told what to do.”
You glared at him, before you breathed with defeat, “Please.”
“Use your lovely mouth, darling. I’ll need more than that.”
“Please stay.”
“And what would you like me to do if I did?” Loki purred, inching closer again, dragging his nails over the inside of your thigh to fuel your need even further; oil feeding those hungry flames only he knew how to incite in you. At this point, every nerve in your body felt like a live wire, the coil of need in your belly pulled as taut as a bowstring.
“Fuck me,” you whispered – pleaded. “I’m begging you. There. Happy now?”
“You have no idea,” he rasped, but the vicious smile curving his lips suggested he was, indeed, happy.
“No idea how beautiful you look, sprawled for me like this. Dripping wet for me.”
He didn’t wait another second, and you cried out with bliss as he grasped the side of your head with one hand, watching you as he slowly, torturingly slowly, slipped a digit inside you and added a second one, stretching you, and your head fell back onto the hard metal of the car’s hood beneath you while your eyes fluttered close, your moans were growing louder and louder as Loki started pumping his fingers inside of you, his gaze leaving trails of fire on your damp skin. As you forced your eyes open to gaze back at him, the blue of Loki’s irises was gone, swallowed nearly entirely by the darkness of his lust-blown pupils betraying how much he wanted you right now as he watched you fuck his fingers.
“What if anyone sees us?”, you asked meekly, but Loki only chuckled.
“You’ll have to tune down these lovely noises then. It’s on you, darling. Though for all I care…” His voice grew darker, as dark as the spark in his eyes, “You can be as loud as you like. That’s what you wanted after all, didn’t you? Let them know about us?”
“Such a needly little thing for me,” he crooned with delight as you rolled your hips in time with the thrusts of his fingers, your eyes fluttering close again as he hit the spot deep inside your walls, curling his fingers just right…
You were putty in his hands. A puppet dancing on his strings – and how good it felt to do so. You arched your back with the force of the pleasure, letting yourself dive into it, listening to the low drawl of Loki’s velvety, dark voice while he pumped his fingers in a pace so achingly slowly, teasing you with the movements, making your senses light up like sparklers at New Year’s Eve as you desperately chased your relief, a moan building at the back of your throat in time with the tension in your body as your climax rushed towards you again –
And this time, when Loki pulled his fingers out of you just before relief could finally drown you for good, you hissed, “What the fuck?!”
“Oooh. You should watch that filthy mouth of yours before Rogers hears you cursing like this.”
“Loki, I swear I’ll –“
“Do what, exactly, my darling?”, he teased, and the glee in his voice made you grit your teeth in frustration, jerking against the cuffs of magic. They still didn’t budge.
“I begged.”
“Not enough, obviously. I can be awfully petty.”
“I wouldn’t have noticed,” you deadpanned, but your voice was giving in as much as your legs had at this point.
Loki angled his head, his midnight curls glossy and beautiful in the orange glow of the city lights seeping into the night sky above as he hovered above you, his eyes wandering down to your kiss-swollen lips once more before they locked on yours. Your glare left him unimpressed.
“You’re getting your relief when I allow it,” he purred. “I bet you wish you hadn’t riled me up like this.”
“No way,” you replied innocently, “It was worth your expression when you realized I don’t need you to have fun.”
“Your current predicament begs to differ.”
“What about you, Loki? Does it leave you hot and bothered to have me soaked for you, craving you? I see that you’re just as desperate for me as I am for you. Do you want to know how I know?”, you drawled, and Loki raised one eyebrow, waiting for you to continue, and your eyes narrowed.
“I know,” you whispered, letting the arousal weigh heavy on your voice, watching how Loki’s chest heaved with his own laboured breathing, the glaze in his eyes, the feverish blush which had crept into his pale cheeks before you continued, “because if you didn’t need me as much as I needed you, you’d just have hooked up with another person in that club. We both know you could’ve swayed pretty much anybody in there within a second. But you didn’t. Because just as much as I belong to you – you belong to me as well, Loki.”
Something shifted in Loki’s darkened gaze, a switch being flipped by your words, the confession carefully woven into them, the question buried in these few sentences.
Loki didn’t need to reply. When he leaned down to capture your lips with his, the movement of his mouth as greedy and urgent as yours, his body pressing you further against the hood of the car, with his fingers buried in your hair at the back of your head and his soft moan spilling on your tongue, the magic which had tied your wrists finally loosened to set you free. Your hands shot up to finally tangle in his silky raven hair to summon another growl from him that made your knees give in for good, and you let yourself sink further against him, your grasp in his hair tightening. You knew how much he loved it when you raked your fingers through his hair.
“I want you, Loki.” It was a whisper, drowned by his ravenous kiss, a hidden confession to so much more than your need for him right now.
Green light engulfed the two of you for the second time this evening, and the cold, hard metal of the car’s hood against your back vanished, replaced by the smoothness of leather. Loki had teleported the two of you onto the backseat of a car. A car you definitely didn’t recognise.
“That’s not our car.”
“We’re borrowing it,” Loki breathed with a smirk, “Except you draw the line at theft, in which case you’ll have to stay patient until we’re home.”
“Theft is a red flag I can comfortably ignore. I’m not waiting a second longer,” you announced eagerly.
One hand on the leather seat beside your head to support his weight, the other working open the fly of his pants to free himself, Loki’s grin widened. “That’s my girl.”
His lips were on yours as he shifted and settled between your thighs, your legs locked around his waist as you impatiently rutted your hips against his, the sinful sounds that tumbled from his lips only spurring you on. You extended your hands to rip open the green dress shirt, but with a devious chuckle and a snap of his fingers, the magical cuffs were back, pulling your hands behind your back to render you at Loki’s mercy again.
“Don’t you think it’s a little pathetic how anxious you are to stay in control?” The tease in your tone was strained by your anticipation.
“Did you truly think I’d be done with you yet?”, Loki taunted, unfazed by your scowl. “Go on, act like you’re angry about being tied up, but we both know you love it.” He leaned closer, and you shivered with the sensation of his lips brushing against the shell of your ear when Loki added with a dark whisper, “Otherwise, you wouldn’t be as soaked for me as you are, darling.”
Traces of sparks erupted in the wake of Loki’s fingertips as he let his free hand travel up the outside of your thigh. Your reply was swallowed by a growl as he dragged his tip along your slick heat, continuing to tease you, grazing your clit until you arched your back with lust, but still denying you what you truly needed.
“Now be a good girl,” Loki rasped, “And let me hear you beg for me one more time. After hearing how nicely you could beg, I don’t think I’ll get enough of that.”
This time, every last ounce of belligerence had left you, every last dreg of self-restrained robbed with every teasing touch of Loki’s skilled hands and every rasped command.
“Please,” you begged, “Make me feel good.”
Your surprised gasp filled the air inside the car as Loki’s hands grabbed your rear and he flipped you, sitting up and pulling you with him onto his lap so you were straddling him, your hands still firmly tied at your back.
“Only because you begged for it so nicely,” he cooed with his rascal grin while he grabbed your butt to slightly lift you. You watched the muscles in his bare forearms flex with the movement, and the feeling as he slowly pulled you down onto him again, burying himself deep inside you, robbed the breath from your lungs and the strength remaining in your body, turning you utterly delirious with the feeling of his throbbing length sheathed inside you
You didn’t wait another second to start moving your hips languidly, watching how Loki’s eyes fluttered close with bliss, the way his long, dark lashes brushed against his sharp cheekbones, how his lips parted to let out the wanton moan he’d tried and failed to hold back before his head fell back against the headrest of the car seat as every roll of your hips drove him deeper inside of you. It drove you crazy not to be able to grab his hair, to let your hands wander over his chest in equal parts. The sight of Loki losing control, coupled with the thought of how jealous and possessive the trickster could be for you, to know how much it had riled him up to see you dance with others, only doubled the bliss of having him inside of you.
“You have no idea how hot you are when you’re possessive,” you drawled as you deliberately slowed your pace, soft waves of pleasure rolling through you with every languid thrust of your hips against his, the slickness of your arousal soaking the black fabric of his pants, relishing the sinful sound tearing from Loki’s throat.
“And you have no idea how hot you are when you’re begging for me,” Loki purred in reply, and his eyes fluttered open to reveal the devious gleam that told you it wouldn’t be the last time he’d made you beg.
The next rut of your hips was firmer, and you threw your head back with another growl – just as the car’s radio was brought to life with a spark of Loki’s magic as he lost control with the sensation of being buried inside of you. The tunes of a song floated through the car’s interior to tangle with the string of moans tumbling from your and Loki’s lips in unison with every thrust.
… And I'm so down if you're ready
I'm floating but I'm heavy …
You snickered as the meaning of the lyrics seeped through the haze of lust clouding your mind, and the sound morphed into a cry of pleasure as Loki’s grip on your butt tightened, his nails digging into your skin to leave a beautiful pattern of crescent-shaped imprints when he slightly lifted you, only to slam you down onto him again and bury himself deeper inside of you, hitting the spot deep in your velvet walls just right.
“You’re mine,” Loki groaned. “Tell me you’re mine.” It sounded like a plea, rather than a command, and you obliged without a second thought.
“I’m yours, Loki,” you whispered as another jolt of pleasure surged through you.  
…You're buried in the pillow, yeah, you're so loud the voice drawled from the radio speakers,
But I'm about to show you, baby, slow down
Slow down…
The side of your nose brushed against Loki’s as you leaned closer, and your lips brushed against his with the ghost of a kiss when you murmured, “I want you to leave bruises.”
Loki’s eyes found yours, a flicker of a question displayed in their darkened depths for the blink of a second to see if you’d truly meant it. You knew no matter how angry and possessive Loki felt, he’d never leave a single bruise on your skin without your consent, though his voice was coarse when he growled, “As you wish,” and you moaned when his grip on you tightened even further, your head falling against the crook of his shoulder to breathe him in as you felt your climax building with each thrust, pleasure glowing in every cell of your body until you thought it might consume you, burn you alive with bliss bolting through your body.
…Push a little further on the edge…
“Come for me,” Loki commanded with a soft rasp, and this time, you didn’t need to be told twice, gladly heeding his command as you let go, happy to succumb to this sweetest relief that robbed your breath and erased every other thought in your mind but Loki’s name, tasting sweet on the tip of your tongue.
…I'm burning up, yeah, all I see is red…
When Loki felt your body tremble and your walls clench around him with the force of your orgasm, his name floating through the car’s interior carried by your voice in a broken cry of pleasure, he allowed himself to chase his own relief alongside yours, slamming you down onto his cock one last time as he came undone, his grip on you tightening with the intensity of his climax. His groan seemed to vibrate through your own bones when he angled his head to brush his lips over the mark his teeth had left on the feverish skin of your neck when he’d kissed you earlier, and the sensation of his hot cum spilling inside of you was another sweet reminder that you were his; another beautiful reminder that you belonged to him.
It took a few heartbeats for your senses to return and the blur of pleasure to recede, leaving your body tingling with the afterglow of your climax, slumped against Loki as both of you waited for your ragged breathing to calm. The next song playing on the radio accompanied the thundering sound of your pulse in your ears as it slowed.
“We should join the others inside,” you breathed, and the magic’s grip on your wrists vanished to set you free.
“Probably.”
You pulled away from him, already missing him – the feeling of him pressed as close to you as it was possible, his breath against your skin – and realization sunk in with a painful sting that you still hadn’t resolved the matter of your fight.
You couldn’t walk in there, having done what you’d just done with Loki, and still none the wiser as to what you meant to him.
“What are we?”, you whispered softly, against your better judgement screaming at you to stay silent. With the craze of lust gone from your system, the numbing disappointment crept back in, accompanied by the anger and the feeling of heartbreak the fight with Loki had left you with. “Will it always stay like this? Me, wondering what we are and if you’ll ever be ready to give me a real answer, wondering if I’m somehow not enough for you? I don’t think I’ll ever have the strength to walk away from you, no matter how you play with my heart. And I’m hating myself for being bound to you like this, for allowing it. More than I could ever hate you for your silence.”
There, you’d said it, had given voice to the things you’d buried so deep in your heart to hide them from him. The anxious beating of your heart against your ribs was the only sound filling your ears – and still, it wasn’t loud enough to drown out the sudden silence.
Loki’s gaze softened at your words. Gone was the edge, and the oceans of his eyes were calm, as if the storm had never happened, when he held your gaze. His hand gently brushed away a stray strand of your hair which had fallen into your face.
“I love you, Y/N.” His voice was calm and quiet, and your heart clenched in your chest with newfound hope upon hearing these words you’d so desperately wished to hear from him.
“If you really love me, why did you never tell me before?”, you inquired. Doubt was creeping into your heart, and there was no way to stop it. “Why are you so intent on keeping me at an arm’s length, keeping this thing between us a secret? If you love someone, you want to shout it from the rooftops. Not hide it.”
Loki swallowed, obviously trying hard to find the right words, and you kept quiet, giving him all the time he needed while simultaneously dreading his next words.
“You don’t believe me.”
“I want to believe you. But I need more than a few words for it, Loki. As beautiful as they are…they’re not enough.”
A few seconds passed, turning into minutes, and the silence descended on the two of you once more, settling on your heart like a coat of lead.
Seconds passed, stretching into minutes. When Loki still didn’t reply, you muttered, “I think I need another drink,” and shuffled to climb off his lap, extending your hand to reach for the car door’s handle and leave, but Loki was faster, his fingers gently closing around your wrist to stop you.
“Wait. Please.”
The cockiness was gone from his voice, as was the rasp of his arousal. He suddenly reminded you of the scared little boy you’d imagined when he told you about hiding away from Thor and his friends whenever they chased him for another prank, and your expression softened while you let your hand sink. Loki’s gasp on you, though, didn’t loosen.
“If I tell you that I love you, allow for us to be a real couple instead of hiding our relationship…there’s more I can lose.” He swallowed. “It was never my intention to play with you. I only ever wanted to protect myself, and I’m sorry I did it at the cost of your own happiness. Will you be able to forgive me?”
Your head snapped up, eyes widening as his words filled the small space of the car’s interior, building a bridge over the rift the fight earlier had torn open between the two of you.
“Why do you think you’ll lose me?”, you whispered.
“Because losing the people I love seems to be inherent in my nature, probably owed to the fact that I either betray them, or accidentally kill them.” There was no trace of the usual amusement when he spoke the words. Only sorrow.
Loki’s breath was trembling as he inhaled, and you noticed that tears were glazing over his eyes as he held your gaze with a steadiness that avoided his voice.
“Will you betray me?”, you asked quietly, and the grief in his gaze was overpowered by the gleam of fierceness as he slowly shook his head.
“Never. I promise.”
“Then the risk of getting accidentally killed is one I’m willing to take if it means to be with you.”
Instead of an answer, green light flashed for a third time, and you stumbled against the side of the car you’d just occupied, until Loki’s hands snaked around your waist to settle on your spine, and when he kissed you, the urge and greed were gone, the previous possessiveness softened to gentleness, and you hummed happily.
“I want to be with you, Loki,” you murmured, “And I think I can live with hiding away if it soothes your fear, now that I know the reason for it.”
There was no devilish gleam in his eyes, no mischief in his smile when he pulled away to look at you, astonishment written all over his lovely features.
“I trust you,” you added softly, your words accompanied by the sting of your own tears which threatened to spill from the corners of your eyes.
Loki’s smile was radiant, as if the sun had risen over the darkened city, warming you from the inside, and you couldn’t help but reciprocate it.
Never leaving you out of his eyes, Loki extended his hand towards you, palm up, and said, “No. We’ve been tiptoeing around enough. It’s time to shout it from the rooftops how much I love you. Let’s go back inside and show the world how a proper kiss looks like, my love.”
Nothing you’d ever felt in your life could have compared to the happiness surging through your heart as you placed your hand in Loki’s – for the first time without having to worry if somebody would see it.
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Loki taglist (let me know if you’d like to be added): @boneheadduluc @spiderhostia @a-midwinter-night-dream-86  @zemosimp05 @justfangirlthingies @cazzyimagines @rumblelibrary @victias @justanothertruebeliver @chiptaylormybeloved @vverliebt @madhatter2727 @a-simp-recommends-fics @morphoportis  @superavengerpotter @savvywords @thatoneleoslytherin @clockblobber @jhawk608  @spooksgalore69 @paetonnn @chaosbringer566 @jesuisbenny @idkimjusthere23  @dirtytissuebox @sarahpaq08 @janetsnakehole02 @swimgirl5665 @wojciechovsk  @flawed---by---design @the-maroon-panda @charistory @lokiperfection @jen-w @i-l-y-3000​  @spicy-acocado @fallinallinmendes​ @awkward-and-indecisive​ @whiskeywinter89​  @cringingmemeries​ @osugahunnyicedtea​ @dead-mitochondria @littleone65  @theaudacitytowrite​ @marchingicenotes7​ @palepurserebelcloud @variant59​ @lokistoriesblog​ @classicmarvelavenue​  @confettucini​ @1marvelnerd3000​ @gabewerk @huffpuff10​ @pugcess​  @wh0reforthemarauders​ @pictsiepanda​ @sititran​ @butterflyloki​  @notyourfuckingbusinesss​ @damnzelsoul @itsybitchylittlewitchy​  @that-one-girl-that-simps @psyc-hot-ic-gingers-kitten​ @extrodinary-disaster​  @d1a2n389​ @idkdude44 @realandloud​ @sherlockhss​
@kingtwhiddleston​ @glee-ghost​ @glacial-snowflakes​
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sabine-leo · 3 months ago
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Loki Doki finding his dear curled up in his shirt dozing off while reading one of his books??
The images in my head to this made me all fuzzy :) and soft... @mama-mischief
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After a weeklong trip to Asgard, Loki found himself at the foot of Stark Tower, looking up with a smile. Knowing who he would find inside did this to him. It was a strange thing, this feeling of warm fuzzy emotion but he happened to find himself linking it. It was a welcome change to the constant thinking, dreading what would come and the feeling of ennui that had taken residence inside of him over the years.
He took in a deep breath and walked inside. He needed to find you, but first he wanted to change out of his formal attire and change into something more casual. Another thing he had found himself liking on Midgard…casual clothes. Although Tony assured him every time that there was nothing casual about the luxury black suits he wore instead of his Asgardian leather.
Loki rode the elevator up to the private floor. All throughout the last week he had longed for a conversation with you. Someone who listened to him, and was worth his time listening to. You had called it dating…when he asked what the two of you were doing spending so much time together.
Dating…another strange concept of Midgard to him. So different to the courting of a beloved in Asgard. Another smile spread on his handsome face. Yeah, he had come to like a lot of things on Midgard. Maybe it was because you made them all fun and worthwhile. Maybe it was because everything the both of you did besides working together was yet kept as a secret… He liked the stolen glances, the soft touches while passing each other…the way he sweet talked you into kissing him in a hidden corner or in your quarters late at night. Each kiss after kiss getting more sensual and heated…
Now, suddenly feeling in a hurry, Loki undressed directly after closing his door. The familiar feeling of hot water was a welcome sensation to his body after an interdimensional travel… Although he liked it even more when the sensation of your touch awakened every cell of his body back to life.
Loki had no patience to dry himself like a normal person according to Tony. So, after a shrug of his well-defined, muscular shoulders he was dressed and styled to his likings. Glancing out into the empty corridor, he made his way down to your door. Tony was probably with Pepper or in his lab. Steve was likely training with Bucky and the Spider Kid was already way past his bedtime anyway… nobody would find out where he was headed.
Another glance to either side of his before his fist lifted and he softly rapped at the wooden door.
Nothing.
Another try.
Still nothing.
Dread filled his gut. Since he had not been able to tell when he would be back before leaving, Loki found himself thinking you weren´t home. Maybe out with Nat?!
A deep sigh left him.
Not knowing why exactly he tried the doorknob. The door opened. Maybe you were listening to a podcast on your headphones, not hearing his knocks? Quietly he walked inside.
“Darling?” He tried in his deep timbre, closing the door softly.
Still nothi… Loki stopped and tilted his head. He had heard a rustle. Slowly he walked around a corner and bit his lip. He tried to keep himself from sighing. But he could not stop the smile spreading on his face.
“There you are, my sweet…” he murmured. Before him was his beloved, laying all curled up on the sofa. In a blanket AND his favourite black shirt with his current read on her alluring upper body. Loki walked over and hunched down. Almost non audible he said.
“Was my book so tiring or are you simply dreaming of me…?” A stray strand of hair hindered him to adore your features fully, so he put it softly back where it belonged with graceful fingers. Loki was not able to stop himself from caressing your face before breathing a kiss onto your forehead.
A soft sigh of yours made him huff out a smile. Slowly he wrapped you in his arms and got up with you tightly held against him. You stirred.
“Loki?!”
“Hush my sweet, it is I…I am back…” Loki held you even closer. “There was no room for the both of us on your sofa and I am in need of you in my arms tonight… if that is acceptable to you….?”
You took in a deep breath…breathed in his intoxicating scent and nodded drowsily.
“Very acceptable…”
Loki smiled and climbed onto your bed. His magic helped him to get rid of his clothes, except his boxer briefs and shirt. The way you trustingly cuddled up to him; The way your warm, naked legs felt against his; The way your head snuggled into the crock of his neck made a jolt of sizzling sensation shot through his entire body. And when your hand found it´s way under his shirt, up his abs, to come to rest above his heart he felt it again.
“Love…” he rasped in a vibrating deep timbre.
With a sleepy smile you looked up into his hooded eyes.
“Welcome home…” You said when his hand weaved through your hair and his thumb stroked and parted your lips.
Loki dipped his head and met your lips with his in an unhurried yet longing kiss.
He was home indeed!
Loki general tags :
@drakesfiance @confessionsofastrugglingteen @inlovewithfreyamikaelson-blog @heart-shaped-hell
@theoneanna @marikochi @xxxeatyourh3artoutxxx @awkwardfangirl2014 @rainbowsinthestorm @maggiefollows @lots-of-loki @traceyaudette @ellaenchanted91 @catsladen @dr-kayleigh-dh @mrsstyles033 @usedtobegoodfriend96 @hiddles-thomas @noplacelikehome77 @ladyblablabla @myoxiisbroken @lumoswinchesterkazy2y5 @viviandarkbloom06 @snoopy3000 @alexakeyloveloki
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tender-tales · a month ago
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dancing with Loki
- your dancing in the kitchen of the compound singing and swaying your hips to the song you played
- the next song plays “til forever falls apart”
- you start singing your voice is beautiful and you forget about your cleaning and dance with your eyes closed
- you feel as if your being watched
- you open your eyes and Loki is standing smirking leaning against the doorframe
- your face flushed in embarrassment
- but then you forget about your embarrassment and continue to sing dancing over to him and taking his hand
- “if the tide takes California I’m so glad I got to hold ya, and if the sky falls from heaven above oh you know I had the best time falling into love”
- he reluctantly holds you rolling his eyes as you lead him around the room, but he can barely hold back a smile
- “your a terrible dancer” he says
- he takes the lead and guides you around the kitchen you continue to sing
- towards the end of the song you slow down
- you are on a high from the song and the smile remains on your lips as you look him in the eyes
- he leans down to whisper in your ear “your voice is angelic”
- then when he pulls back again to look into your eyes, you pull him down towards you for your lips to meet in a soft kiss
- his arms wrap tightly around you like he never wants to let go
- you are both disrupted by someone clearing there throat and turn to see Natasha
- she is smirking and both your faces go bright red
- when she leaves laughing the two of you look at each other again and nervously laugh
- you both know this won’t be the last kiss you share
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mgxart · 4 months ago
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I just finished ‘Loki’, the new tv show, and it was really great and now I’m low key obsessed🤧
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plainlo-inthemorning · 3 months ago
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Loki Appreciation Week 2021
August 10th / Day 2: Favorite episode
Episode 2: The Variant. Also known as: David Fincher does Loki.
Each of the episodes in the series have their own distinct look and feel, and are obviously littered with pop cultural references (the Scream/Casey/fish gag in episode 1 being especially inspired).
Although at first glance episode 2 appears similar to episode 1 in style, the former quickly delves into a stand-out visual homage to David Fincher’s Se7en.
Complete with Bach's Orchestral Suite No. 3 in D major, BWV 1068 playing as Loki goes through the files at the TVA library, just like in the iconic library scene with Morgan Freeman.
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The cinematography and color grading throughout the episode are masterful and completely removed from anything MCU has done before, and Kate Herron seamlessly blends elements of crime thriller, all-out humor and, in the finale at the mall, a sense of real horror.
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Highlights:
Loki finally getting to show off his intellect. Yes, in the movies he schemes and fakes his own death, but we haven’t really seen his brilliant mind working more intricate mysteries.
“Don’t set fire to the palace…”. Owen Wilson delivers some of his best acting to date in his exchanges with Tom.
Tom and Owen’s chemistry. The pair are the stars of the show in episode 2, and I would gladly watch an entire crime series with them rummaging around libraries and dimly lit hallways.
Loki getting truly excited about a project that hasn’t got to do with taking over the world or stabbing anyone in the back. Something he’ll never do again, btw.
The entire mall climax. Thrilling, legitimately scary at times and bathed in so much dark blue that the shock of the red in the last frames feels almost violent.
“Shh!” / “Nothing matters!” Loki being his most childish, self-important self is a delight.
Holding out for a hero. A menacing and excellently shot opening sequence showcasing the value of mischievous storytelling through one the nose music cues.
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vicioux · 4 months ago
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LOKANE FIC RECS
this was sevens years in the making lol but better late than never! had the best time dusting off my loki x jane bookmarks - big shoutout to all the amazing authors out there that keep this ship afloat all these years after some pretty big hits (although things are certainly looking up after the loki show and the upcoming thor movie...) so whether you're an OG, new lokane fan, or just want to read some loki fics here are some of my favs HAPPY READING 💚💚💚 p.s you can find the rest of my fanfic rec lists HERE.
multichapter
THE WRITING ON THE WALL by amidststars Eating the apple Loki gave her seemed harmless. At least, until Jane realized the consequences. Can a mortal come to terms with immortality as she lives through the ages? There's a fine line between an act of mischief and an act of fate.
LOKIDAY by artemis_day "I'm sorry, Dr. Foster, it just doesn't make any sense. People don't fall in love after only knowing each other for one day!" "With all due respect, Agent Romanov, it's been a VERY long day."
PAINTING ROSES by born-of-elven-blood Jane meets the man of her dreams. Literally. Now she just has to figure out how one lives happily ever after when the handsome prince is already dead.
THE LOKISTONE by alydia rackham Jane Foster suspects why she has been relocated. But then another version of herself appears, warning her that the seams of space-time will rip apart if she does not complete this task: save Loki from the Avengers, with only a violet stone to guide her.
THE HANGMAN'S HANDS by mercurie Thor and Loki never make it back to Asgard. Now S.H.I.E.L.D. is stuck with the world's most hated war criminal on their hands and everyone wants a piece - unless they can find a way to get rid of him for good.
EYES ON ME by artemis_day The first time Jane Foster and Loki Odinson meet, she is sixteen and he's over one thousand, but they've been together for much longer than that. Some bonds can form from across the universe, and come what may, they can never be broken.
SCHEHERAZADE by grecianviolet Odin never gave up his grasp on Yggdrasil. He sends his children to bring Midgard into line with Asgardian rule. Captured and sentenced to death, Jane Foster spins out her life with a new story each night.
TEXT ALERT by startraveller776 Late one night, Jane found herself in an online chat room for Harvard alums. She and the user youweremadetoberuled hit it off and began a strange, anonymous friendship.
OUR DARKEST DAYS by bitumz She finds herself confused, sick, and stowed away in the Asgardian prison under the Allfather's bitter command. He can only bear to believe that circumstances may just finally be falling into his favor.
oneshots
BLACK INK by artemis_day There is no such thing as soulmates on Asgard, so when Loki wakes up one morning to find writing on his arm, it's more than a little distressing. soulmate!AU
SEVEN by tianaluthien Loki remembers nothing of his life for the past three years, thanks to Huginn and Munnin. Never trust an oracle.
IN WHICH LOKI HATES TO SHARE by liana_slane Jane's experiments land her in an unknown realm without a clue who to trust. Loki discovers something intriguing in a seaside cave. (Jane ends up in Asgard instead of Thor falling to Earth).
MISCONCEPTIONS by dristi5683 To unite two realms as permanent allies, the rumored mercurial and devious second prince of Asgard is set to marry the supposedly plain and peculiar princess of Earth. What will happen when the pair finally meet?
A LOVE LIKE WINTER by rhiannon_a_christy Jane had always felt a discontent, a sense of not belonging in the world she lived. After the encounter with the Destroyer, Jane begins to understand why.
STARCROSSED by startraveller776 They begin after she meets him, dreams of a love that spans the ages. Dreams that feel disturbingly like memories. But there are no such things as gods and past lives and curses. Are there?
STARMARKED by skatzaa Jane Foster was, simply put, an anomaly. And it was because, in a world full of soulmarks, she was born without a single word on her skin. soulmate!AU
TOUCH by startraveller776 The first touch was her fist to his jaw, and she thought the last was when he pushed her out of the way of a Dark Elf bomb—until he showed up years later with a proposition she had trouble turning down.
ONE HUNDRED LIFETIMES by ideophobic A collection of unrelated and some interconnected oneshots of varying ratings and lengths based off of prompts sent in by lovely readers.
LET IT ALL UNFURL by notmyyacht With the TVA gone and the multiverse freed, Loki must now face off against someone who is both familiar and a complete stranger.
smut
A LIGHT IN THE DARK series by starhawk2005 After he is taken back to Asgard, Loki escapes his prison and decides to return to Midgard. How can an angry and hurting god pass the time? Oh look, there’s Thor’s woman. He did promise to pay her a visit, right?
THE FIERCEST FABLES by audreyii_fic Loki doesn't know what's so special about Jane Foster, but he's not letting her go until he figures it out.
LOOSE THREADS by subjunctive Aliens kidnap Jane and Loki and make them have sex. (That's it, that's the whole story.)
GIVING IT ALL by godsandstars Six months post-breakup with Thor, Jane has been on her own, working on her Einstein-Rosen Bridge with Darcy on SHIELD's dime. When Loki shows up in Jane's house to confess that he's the one who's been sending those strange dreams of hers, everything changes.
BEST YOU EVER HAD by calie15 "How about something more physical?" Loki whispers into her ear and flexes his hand on her hip. "Here you sit waiting, wanting, only to be denied in the end. I'm sure you could use a release, or two or three."
anything and everything by these authors
ARTEMIS_DAY (one // two) NOTMYYACHT STARTRAVELLER776 ALYDIA RACKHAM AUDREYII_FIC MERCURIE TYRANTSANDCREAMPUFFS CALIE15
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rins-love-wins · 2 days ago
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I love "The Night Manager", but every time I look at him in this show I catch myself thinking:
I don’t believe such a dandelion can hit anyone!
He’s going to say “Sorry” now.
He is a soft ginger kiwi fruit, I'm scared about him.
This cinnamon roll can't be aggressive.
This wild Dandelion hits someone in the face, oh gods, he can get hurt.
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aphiandhephi · 27 days ago
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Loki: Why didn’t you tell me?!
Y/N: Because you have a tendency to overreact
Loki, slamming fist down on the table: I DO NOT OVERREACT!
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handmaiden-of-mischief · 3 months ago
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𝐂𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐂𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫
Hi lovelies! Here's some soft smut with a dash of angst (because I seem to be incapable to write anything without at least a dash of angst 😂). I hope you enjoy! - Love, Kiki 🖤
(PS: I’m still working on all the other lovely requests you’ve sent me 🖤)
𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 | Loki x female reader   
𝐑𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 | by @sunshineyrosie , I hope you like it, dear!
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 | An accident at Dr Banner's lab brings you to Loki's doorstep, desperate and in pain, to seek the trickster's help. Loki, who'd once been your friend; who stole your heart and then left without any explanation. (reader is an Avenger & the whole story takes place after the second Thor movie)
𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭 | smut, fluff, angst with a happy ending 
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 | 9 k 
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | SMUT (ONLY READ IF YOU'RE 18+ YEARS OLD!), unprotected sex (please be safe in real life and wear a condom!), sex pollen (it's a dub-con trope but these two idiots are secretly in love with each other and I've written it with as much consent as possible) 
𝐀/𝐍 | the part written in italics is a flashback
𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐋𝐨𝐤𝐢 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭  ♡  
𝐀𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬, 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐬, 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐝🖤 
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“Bruce,” you greeted, after a short glance at your phone’s display before accepting the call, “Let me guess, Tony was getting on your nerves and you finally murdered him?”
With your free hand, you shovelled a spoon full of sugar into the mug of fresh, steaming coffee on the kitchen counter in front of you.
The doctor laughed. “Not yet, but he’s working hard to get there. It’s a miracle I haven’t turned into the Hulk yet and smashed the whole town. What about you? I was sure if we left you and Loki alone for a whole week, one of you wouldn’t survive it. Which makes me wonder, since I’m talking to you right now, if we’ll ever find his corpse.”
You forced yourself to a short giggle, but it sounded fake and strained even to your own ears. So, the icy silence between you and Loki had not escaped your friends’ notice.
“Is that why you called?”, you asked with a light-heartedness you didn’t feel, and hadn’t felt in a while, “To make sure I’m still alive? I’m a big girl, I can take care of myself.”
“I called because I forgot to pack my notebook and I need you to send it to me.”
“Can’t FRIDAY just send the necessary data to you?”
A beat of silence, before he answered, a little indignantly, “Notebook as in paper-and-pen, not laptop.”
“How very old-school for somebody who’s working together with Tony Stark.”
“It prods him as much as he keeps prodding my nerves.”
“I’ll get it for you,” you huffed.
“Great. Thank you. It’s a little black, leather-bound book, somewhere in the lab.”
Somewhere in the lab. He could as well have asked you to find a lost ring somewhere in the streets of New York City – the last time you’d set foot in Banner’s lab, which he occasionally shared with Tony, you’d felt as if you’d stepped right into the Room Of Hidden Things from Harry Potter, what with the chaos lurking behind the metal doors.
“It might take a few days. If you don’t hear from me again, I might have gotten lost in there so please send help,” you deadpanned, and told him goodbye.  
It felt strange, this quietness which had settled over the Avengers headquarters, like a once lively, bustling city which had been abandoned. It had turned into a ghost town, with everyone gone on separate missions, on visits to families and science conventions. The only two people left to wander the empty rooms were you…and Loki. Ghosts roaming around and haunting each other, you thought with a bitter smile as you grabbed the cup of coffee you’d just prepared and left the kitchen, only to bump into the raven-haired trickster in the doorway.
“Sorry,” you muttered, eyes downcast to avoid his gaze, a gaze which you could still feel on your back as your steps quickened to leave him behind in the hallway, to bring as much distance between the two of you as possible, and as fast as possible. All the while your heart screamed at you to walk back to him, to finally ask the question which kept burning through your mind: why did you push me away like this? What have I done to make you shut me out? It wouldn’t have made a difference, you told yourself. All of the bridges had already burned down. Loki had made sure of it with his rudeness and his silence, and so had you.
***
Ever since you could remember, you’d had trouble sleeping. Nightmares, sleep paralyses, insomnia – the list was endless, and so you regularly found yourself in the living room in the middle of the night, watching whatever trashy TV show was on air right now to silence the thoughts in your mind which seemed to get louder the deeper the hour of the night.
In one of these nights, a short time after Loki’s arrival at the Avengers headquarters, you sat on the sofa, watching TV with a steaming mug of fresh tea clad in your palms to spend some warmth and calm your nerves so you might be able to at least get an hour or two of sleep in the early morning, when a smooth, dark voice chimed up from behind you, “I thought this part of Midgard was opposed to having a harem.”
With a squeal of surprise, you jumped from the sofa – nobody had ever joined you in the living room at three in the morning – and the hot tea spilled all over your hands and bare legs, the short pants of your pyjama no match to stop the scalding water, and a second yelp escaped you, this one distinctly more pained than shocked.
“HEAVENS!”, you half-screamed, half-hissed as you whirled around, coming face to face with the trickster who stood right behind the sofa, having strolled into the living room as silent as a cat.
“I beg your pardon,” he said, eyes wandering briefly down your bare legs before they snapped up to meet your gaze once more, a sly little smirk playing on his lips as he added, “I didn’t think you’d be so immersed in the harem TV show.”
“It’s The Bachelor,” you grumbled while you placed the now half-empty cup of tea on the coffee table beside the sofa and grabbed the fuzzy blanket to wipe the droplets of tea from your legs and arms, all under the god’s scrutinizing gaze, “You could have warned me instead of creeping up on me like this. What are you, a cat?”
“Well, we can’t all announce ourselves by thunder and rock songs”, Loki quipped. “I take it you’re having some trouble sleeping as well?”
“My sleep schedule is none of your business.”
You took a few moments to hold his attentive gaze. Even with only the flickering TV screen as the sole source of light in the room, painting half-shadows over his handsome face as he watched you, you could see how tired he looked. Not as arrogant and witty as he usually carried himself. As if the illusion he cast over himself in the light of day was slipping at night, fading away like Cinderella’s shimmering gown at midnight to turn back into the scraps and rags it was actually made of. Showing what he kept hidden beneath the façade. And beneath, there was loneliness.
“Well then, I’ll see you around, Lady Y/N.”
You heard his footsteps padding softly on the cool tile floor, retreating to the door, and felt a pang of guilt in your chest. Loneliness was a feeling you knew all too well.
“You could join me,” you chimed up, following some strange impulse, and it sounded way more timid than you’d intended.
The footsteps halted, and you turned to glance at Loki.
“Aren’t you afraid I’ll stab you if you fall asleep?”, he inquired smugly, and you rolled your eyes.
“That’s a great conversation starter,” you quipped, “But don’t worry, you’re not as threatening as you think. And I don’t sleep in the presence of people I don’t trust.”
He chuckled and seated himself at the other end of the sofa, as far away from you as possible, before he inquired with a critical yet confused glance at the TV, “What even is it we’re watching?”
“The Bachelor,” you explained. “There are a lot of women he dates and at the end of each episode, some of them get a rose from him, which means he’ll keep dating them. It goes on until there’s only one woman left.”
“What happens with the ones who don’t get a rose?”
“They’re stabbed and given over to the sea.”
Loki blinked, before a wicked little grin flashed on his face, and your heart stumbled a little in your chest.
“I wouldn’t have expected for your humour to be as dark as the shadows under your eyes, but you’re proving me wrong. I’m impressed.”
“I bet you’re quite attractive when you shut your mouth,” you quipped sweetly, and Loki’s smirk morphed into a delighted grin at your clap-back.
“You’re a feisty one.”
“You’ve been here for a minute and, between the criticism of my looks and the vague death threat, you’re already more annoying than every commercial break combined,” you remarked with raised eyebrows, “How do you do that?”
“I consider myself a natural talent, but honing these skills through practice from time to time doesn’t hurt, either.”
You couldn’t help the little snicker which escaped your lips at his words.
From this night on, you knew you wouldn’t be able to stay away from Loki. One night spent watching TV together from different ends of the sofa, both of you careful and wary of the other’s presence, turned into a second night the day after, and finally a third, until it was an unspoken agreement between the two of you: you met in the living room at night to watch TV and, with time, talk.
When Loki had joined the team and moved into the Avengers headquarters, you’d expected a ruthless criminal who still posed a threat to the world and everybody in it. You’d expected him to be arrogant and reckless, to dislike him at best – and despise him at worst.
And now, it turned out that Loki was neither of these things; not even close. No, the first thing you’d noticed during this first real encounter with the trickster had been the shadow of loneliness which seemed to surround him like a layer of clothing, a loneliness you could all too well relate to.
Loki, you discovered, was not menacing or arrogant, but witty and…kind. In the span of the following weeks, these weird, clandestine meetups in the living room in the dead of night, when everyone else had fallen asleep a long while ago, became your highlight of the day – so much so that you found yourself, for the first time in your life, looking forward to nightfall and padded downstairs to wait for Loki even in the nights where sleep would have come easily.
And with every night spent in front of the flickering TV screen, with the winking city lights outside like an upside-down sea of stars, the distance between the two of you on the sofa shrank as fast as the distance between your hearts while Loki told you of his childhood as a prince of Asgard, and you told him of your own life. He never spoke about how it had felt, growing up in the shadow his brother was casting, but he didn’t have to. It was all there, between the lines.
The loneliness, the feeling of never quite belonging. Most of all, though, Loki told you of his mother, and the softness and love shining in his beautiful eyes alongside the grief as he did, made your heart bleed for him. You knew how Frigga’s life had found its brutal end as she’d tried to protect Jane Foster. Thor had told you, though you couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something else to the story. Something Thor didn’t know, but Loki did – but of course, you never asked.
Over these next few weeks, something was changing.
You began to fall for the mischievous trickster – slowly at first, and then faster and faster, as if the fall was picking up speed. And you let it happen, because hearts are stubborn things, evading every reason and command. All you could do was hope that Loki would be there to catch your fall, eventually, and you never needed to find out how it would feel to hit the ground in the end.
In one of these nights, you woke with a start – to realize that you had fallen asleep with your head resting on Loki’s shoulder. As you stirred awake now with a yawn, you murmured, “How long was I gone?”
Your eyes drifted to the windows and the darkness beyond. The sun hadn’t yet started to rise.
“Maybe half an hour.”
I don’t fall asleep in the presence of people I don’t trust, you’d told him that first night. You could tell from the expression on his handsome face that he was remembering your words as well.
You righted yourself on the sofa, and your gaze met Loki’s. The light of the TV danced in his stunning eyes, and the expression in them, a mixture of softness and something else, made your heart rate accelerate and your breath hitch in your throat as the last wisps of drowsiness loosened their grasp on your mind. You realized how close the two of you were sitting, your legs brushing against his, faces only inches apart as you kept gazing at each other in a silence only broken by the low voices droning on from the TV. All of a sudden, you felt more awake than you ever had in your life. It had nothing to do with the power nap you’d just taken, and everything with the gentle look in Loki’s mesmerizing ocean eyes.
Never had anybody looked at you the way the Loki did now.
“Did I…miss anything important?”, you asked, clearing your throat as you realized how hoarse your voice suddenly sounded.
“You did, indeed. Peach – I still refuse to believe it’s her real name, though – had a date with the Bachelor, and they kissed. When she told the others, the blonde one – the one with the ugly shoes – slapped her.”
“They slapped each other and you didn’t wake me up to witness it?”, you retorted with feigned shock, placing your hand over your heart for good measure to underline the dramatics, and Loki smirked.
“I didn’t think it was important enough to wake you. After all, we’re here because we’re dealing with insomnia.”
The last sentence sounded like a question rather than a statement. I’m here because of you, you wanted to tell him. But like so often in life, the lack of courage had stopped you.
“Though do you think the Bachelor will pick Peach in the end?”, you finally asked with a low voice, trying to break the awkward silence which had settled over the two of you.
“That was an awful pun,” Loki commented, before his face grew serious again. “I don’t think he’ll pick her. The kiss wasn’t real.”
“Real,” you repeated hollowly, not knowing what else to reply at the intensity flaring in Loki’s gaze as he still held yours. “How do you know if a kiss is real, then? I suppose you’ve had your fair share of experience, as a prince.” It stung, to think about all the other princes and princesses Loki might have kissed and bedded, beautiful immortals compared to whom you surely faded like the reflection in the glass of a tarnished mirror.
Loki chuckled softly, and his eyes drifted down to your lips – a fleeting moment, so brief that you wondered if you’d imagined it before his eyes snapped up to meet yours again, and he said, “None of it has ever been real. None of it has ever been anything else than lies and illusions. But if I had to take a guess how a real kiss should feel like…I would say fireworks. Bursts of sparks in the most radiant colours in your chest, loud and explosive and all-consuming against the darkness of the night sky.”
You could feel your pulse racing with every one of his words, spoken in a voice which slowly morphed into a hoarse whisper as Loki leaned closer to you, so close now that the tip of his nose was brushing against yours and your eyes fluttered closed with the sensation of his warm breath prickling on your lips, his scent all around you –
The brush of his lips against yours was fleeting, as delicate as the fragile wing of a butterfly, and it made your whole body tingle as if every single nerve had burst into colourful sparks. Fireworks, indeed. You tilted your head a little to deepen the kiss – but Loki’s hands grasped your shoulders, and he pushed you away, shock written all over his face. His eyes were wide, as if he were horrified by what you’d done – what you both had done.
“I’m sorry,” you stammered, “I –“
“I can’t.”
Your mouth fell open, and for a few stunned, horrified seconds, there was nothing you could do but gape at him before Loki finally spoke, “I should go.”
“No – wait,” you began, “Loki, I’m sorry, let’s just forget it ever happened…” The words were spinning in your mind in the whirlwind of embarrassment and hurt and the fear to lose Loki as your friend – because that’s what he was, that’s what he’d become over these past weeks – and you stammered, voice soft and pleading, “I don’t want to lose you.”
“You can’t lose what has never been there.”
With these parting words, he left. It had been the last clandestine TV night, and it had been the last time you’d talked to him. The distance was back between the two of you, like a vast, frozen lake too dangerous to cross, the ice waiting to give underneath your feet and the freezing water to swallow and drown you, should you ever try to get to the other side.
***
Before you’d met Loki, you’d always made fun of the term “broken heart”. A heart was a muscle – an important one, but still nothing more than that. Hearts didn’t have anything more to do with love than lungs or kidneys. And they most certainly couldn’t break.
But the moment Loki had pushed you away, had rejected you without any explanation and shut you out of his life, you realized that you’d been wrong all along.
Hearts could break. Yours had been shattered into a million pieces. And it hurt – a pain deeper than any physical pain could ever feel, a pain which never seemed to cease but only grew dull over the days, ready to flare to life whenever you met Loki in the hallways, the kitchen, the training rooms. It felt as if a monster had settled in your chest, nestled itself between your ribs, ready to sink its teeth and talons into your heart whenever your eyes fell on the raven-haired trickster to tear open the barely healed gashes and make you bleed all over again.
Avoiding someone who was living in the same building was no easy thing to achieve. But seeing him was worse. So much worse. So you’d changed your schedule. Meals were taken as fast as possible. You trained whenever Loki didn’t. The living room had become a restricted area altogether.
How was it even possible for someone to, in the span of mere weeks, steal your heart, paint your world in the most vibrant, beautiful colours – and leave you behind bleeding and heartbroken and grieving? Loki had been the one. You’d felt it with every smile, every shared laugh, every glance which lingered longer than it should have. He’d been the love of your life, and he would always be. Maybe his blatant rejection would have hurt less if he’d given you an explanation, instead of this frozen silence which had left so much room for your own dark thoughts and musings.
You’d known him for a few weeks, but when he’d started to walk away from you, he’d taken all the colour with him, leaving you behind in this sad world of hues of grey. You missed him so much. The secret nights of watching TV together, his laughter, the way he’d made you feel safe. Safe, and safe to be yourself around him, as safe as you’d never felt with anyone else.
From strangers to friends – and to strangers again.
Loki had become the headlights on your path, keeping the night of loneliness at bay for you, a guiding light in the darkness surrounding you. Now, it was dark once more.
You were glad he wouldn’t see the fresh tears which spilled from your eyes, and hurried down the corridor without another word.
***
The tears were still wet on your cheeks as you reached the laboratory in the tower’s lower levels, and your hands trembled slightly as you punched in the security code, before glancing into the camera for the retina scan.
“Your eyes are very puffy,” FRIDAY’s pleasant voice droned from an invisible speaker.
“Gee, thanks. You know how to give a compliment. Can you please just let me in?”
“You look as if you have cried, miss.”
“That’s because I have,” you muttered your reply as the metal doors swung open and you stepped inside.
As Bruce Banner’s assistant, you’d visited the laboratory more times than you could count – but you’d never been down here alone. There had always been Bruce, silently adjusting numbers on screens or preparing ominous liquids, or Tony, AC/DC blaring through every speaker at an ear-shattering volume as he tinkered with one of his many iron suits. Now, with the two of them temporarily gone, the lab held an eerie atmosphere. Like the lair of mad scientists rather than heroes.
But FRIDAY wasn’t done yet with her enquiry. “Is there anything I can do for you, miss?”
“Yes”, you answered with a half-hearted quip as you walked on, “Let it go.”
You nearly jumped out of your skin when the first tunes of the Disney song started playing, and the coffee you’d still clutched in your hand spilled over your shirt, the hot liquid burning your skin as it seeped through the fabric, and you hissed in pain.
“Not the song, FRIDAY! The topic!”, you shouted into the vastness of the lab, groaning in frustration as you searched for something to dab at the stain of coffee quickly spreading on the front of your shirt. There you were, stained with coffee, heartbroken, crying alone in the middle of a lab as queen Elsa herself continued to sing her heart out, while you were screaming at an artificial intelligence program – and felt guilty about snapping at it nonetheless.
“Apologies, miss. You haven’t been clear about it”, FRIDAY answered – did she sound indignant? – and the song stopped, drenching the room in silence once more as your gaze roamed the space.
It wouldn’t have hurt to give it a dusting, you noticed as you strolled through the assortments of tables filled with microscopes, vials, bits of computers and devices the name of which you didn’t know, your eyes scanning the room for the little black notebook Bruce had described to you. It was like looking for a needle in a haystack.
“I’ll spend the night here,” you groaned after a few minutes of futile search, “Somebody sedate me.”
“Anaesthesia prepared. Initiate Knock-Out Protocol,” FRIDAY’s pleasant voice rang through the air, and before you realized what was happening, one of the robotic arms placed on a table beside you swung around, the tip of a syringe catching the bright overhead lights, and your eyes widened.
“No!”, you screeched as you dodged out of the way, barely avoiding the tip of the needle to pierce the skin on your upper arm, “Stop it! FRIDAY STOP IT!”
She didn’t. She didn’t even answer, and with a string of curses, you realized that the robotic arm wasn’t an arm at all but a whole damn robot opening the hunt for you. Another swing with the syringe had you jump out of the way and over a table, but this time, you weren’t fast enough. Metal hit your head, hard, and you were sent flying into the tiled top of the nearest table, skittering over the surface in a rain of equipment and shards as vials burst at the impact, before you landed on the ground on the other side with a huff as the force of your fall momentarily knocked the air from your lungs.
“Knock-Out Protocol paused,” FRIDAY announced cheerfully.
“I’ll pause you,” you groaned as you sat up, wincing a little at the sting at your left forearm, but before you could check yourself for any injuries, a cloud of something that looked suspiciously like pollen, glittering beneath the lab’s artificial lights, rose around you, and you sneezed. When the sparkling dust had settled over the nearby surfaces – and all over you, your hair, your clothes – your eyes fell on the bleeding gash the shards had torn into your arm. It wasn’t deep enough to be dangerous, but it hurt nonetheless, and you sighed at the blood seeping out of the wound to dribble all over your clothes and mingle with the glittering dust.
With another huff, you grabbed the nearest surface to pull yourself back on your feet. Further examination showed you that, during your fall, you’d knocked down a glass case which had contained a plant; the very same glass case which had shattered and cut you. Eyes narrowed, you bent down to save what was left of the – surprisingly sturdy – plant. Despite the fact that you’d fallen on it, it still looked pretty. The leaves and the red blossom, glittering with its pollen, looked strange. Otherworldly. It probably was. Or a mutation of some kind.
You placed it half-heartedly back on the tiled top of the table and limped out of the lab. Enough for one day. Banner’s notebook could wait. You needed to dress the wound and rinse off the pollen, and then, all you wanted to do was sleep.
***
Stepping out of the shower, you quickly dried off, wrapped yourself in the dressing gown Nat had given you for Christmas with a comment on how your wardrobe could use some spiciness – you could hardly call it a dressing gown; it made from black silk with lots and lots of lace adorning the sleeves and barely reaching down to cover your butt, but you had to admit that you felt, indeed, sexy and confident wearing it – and settled down cross-legged on the bed with the little first aid kit you kept in your bathroom to dress the cut the shards of glass had torn into your forearm.
The bleeding had stopped, and the pain was bearable – as an Avenger, you were used to worse injuries, that was part of the job description – but your vision blurred as you tried to dab some iodine on the cut, and you blinked rapidly to clear your sight.
It was also warm. The hot shower had probably boosted your blood circulation, you pondered as you rose from the bed to check if the air conditioning in your room was already running, but all of a sudden, the floor seemed to move beneath your bare feet, shifting like a ship at sea, and you caught yourself on the wall.
Not good. This was not good.
It didn’t take long for the realization to hit that this was neither caused by circulatory problems nor tiredness. The strange plant. The sparkling pollen.
Suddenly, you felt scared. What if you collapsed on the floor? What if the plant had been poisonous? You needed help. You needed to call Banner and tell him –
With a new surge of panic, you realized that you’d left your phone in the kitchen, at the other end of the building. There was nobody else in the tower but…Loki.
You could practically hear your bad luck laughing at you.
Another wave of vertigo flooded you. Warm. It was too warm.
Was your condition serious enough to rouse him? It was already late in the evening; Loki had probably gone to bed already. He most definitely didn’t want to see you. And you…did you want to see him? You did. You were missing him terribly.
Focus, you chided yourself as you worked up the strength for your wobbly legs to carry you to your door and into the hallway. Tiny white stars danced in your vision as the floor seemed to jerked under your feet, as if you were standing on the back of a giant monster which kept trying to shake you off. And right now, it seemed the floor was winning. Yes, you needed help. Now.
Panting, clad only in your dressing gown, hair wet and leaving a trail of droplets on the polished floor, you stumbled through the hallway, into the elevator which would bring you to Loki’s room two levels above your own, along another hallway…there was the door.
It felt like walking through a dream. Everything was strangely detached, and there was the hue of unnatural brightness creeping in at the edges of your field of vision, making you feel as if you were glancing through one of these contorted binoculars they had at fairgrounds. When you raised your fist to knock on the smooth wood, you tried to take a moment to steady yourself and catch your breath.
As if he’d sensed your presence, the door swung open to reveal Loki, and he took a surprised step back at the sight of you, leaning against the wall beside his door. His eyes widened as they briefly travelled down your form before snapping up again to meet yours, and it dawned on you that you were still half-naked, wearing nothing but delicate silk and lace, your hair a soaked mess which dribbled onto the black fabric which clung to your shoulders.
Loki himself, you realized, was wearing something you’d have described as the Asgardian version of a comfortable outfit – which was still one hundred percent more elegant and classy than any sweatpants – but he didn’t look as if he’d gone to bed already. He looked wide awake.
Your heart bled as you took him in, at the loss of his friendship and everything it could have grown into, but there was a twisted spark of happiness as well. You’d missed him so much. If your predicament was the reason you could talk to him again, at least for one last time before he would shut you out once again, it might be worth the pain.
“I’m – I don’t feel good”, you chimed up timidly to break the astonished silence between the two of you, and your voice sounded strange. As if you heard someone else talking. As if you were underwater. The second thing you realized was that the strange roar you kept hearing wasn’t the sound of waves – it was the sound of your own blood rushing in your ears.
“I can see that,” Loki deadpanned.
“As charming as ever,” you retorted, and your words slurred. It sounded as if you’d ran a marathon. Actually, you felt as if you’d ran the whole way instead of creeping through the hallway with the vigour of a zombie, palm always on the wall as you dragged your steps along. Your chest was rapidly rising and falling with every laboured breath.
“Are you drunk?”, Loki inquired with a sceptical glance at your imbalanced posture.
“Wish I was.”
It was so easy, to get back to the usual bantering which had paved the way to your friendship. But we aren’t friends anymore, you reminded yourself. He doesn’t want to be your friend. He doesn’t want to be your anything.
“You look like you downed an entire liquor store,” he went on and took a few steps closer to you, and his eyes narrowed as he tilted his head a little to examine your face with a stern expression of his own. “I don’t want to have you puking all over me.”
“The only thing making me want to puke is you.”
“Why did you bother to visit me at all, then?”
“As I said, I don’t feel –“
You didn’t get to finish your sentence before the floor bucked once more, this time accompanied by a wave of heat travelling through your body like a forest fire, and you were thrown off balance with a groan of pain. Loki was at your side in an instant, catching your fall before you could hit the floor, and he finally seemed to have realized that something was, indeed, wrong.
“You really need help,” he muttered, and despite the vertigo and the sudden pain, you couldn’t help but mumble, “I wouldn’t be here if I could have prevented it.”
“Glad to see you kept your belligerence.”
“Glad to see you kept your arrogance,” you shot back through gritted teeth, with as much dignity as you could muster in your dizzy, pained, half-naked state, with his strong arms around you making your heart race for a whole lot of other reasons, and Loki’s glossy black strands tickled your cheeks as he glanced down at you in his arms, his face suddenly so close to yours, and alarm slowly crept into his blue gaze.
With a gentleness in his honeyed voice which you’d never heard before, never thought the trickster capable of, he said, “I’ll carry you inside, okay?”
You gave a weak nod, and Loki bent down to lock one hand at the back of your knees, supporting your spine with the other as he carefully picked you up and carried you over the threshold like a groom might carry his bride, before he placed you down on his bed.
His bed. Had your mind been clear, you’d have started to protest, but there was no strength left in your muscles. With another agonized groan you rolled to your side, tugging your legs closer to your chest as your whole body seemed to go up in flames and your boiling blood turned into tiny needles which sliced through veins and skin with every heartbeat.
It felt as if you were burning alive.
Through the veil of tears blurring your eyes, you saw Loki’s calm façade crumbling, and concern fused into worry. No, not worry – something way more fierce. Panic. He was panicked…for you?
“Make it stop,” you whimpered helplessly before your voice broke, and at the periphery of you vision you saw Loki settle on the bed beside you, felt the mattress dip, and the flames in your body seemed to roar hungrily as the god’s hands settled on the sides of your face.
“You’re burning with fever.”
“Make it stop. Please make it stop.” Your voice was breaking with the pain, and the strange sensation which was building in your lower belly; a feral feeling of desperately needing something…someone…
“I’ve got you,” Loki’s voice cut through the haze of your racing thoughts as his hands began to gently massage your temples, “I’ve got you. We need to cool you down.”
And he did. Where his fingertips made contact with your skin, a pleasant coldness seemed to ooze into your very blood to ease some of the scorching heat, and a shaky exhale left you as Loki’s hands slowly wandered down over your neck, your shoulders, your arms, spreading the cold throughout your body. It felt as if you were slowly sinking into a lake, its soothing cold waters immersing your aching body, and for a few glorious minutes, you could feel the relief of the sensation Loki’s magic was granting you. Your eyes fluttered close when your strained muscles relaxed. It felt as if you were floating.
“Is it getting better?”, he asked quietly, and the slight quiver in his voice didn’t escape your notice.
You breathed, “A little.”
“Will you tell me what happened?”
You could feel his fingertips hovering over the cut on your arm, and when you opened your eyes to meet his gaze, the softness of his voice was mirrored in his beautiful ocean eyes. He was bent over you, his hands still working his magic, and you could see that the skin on the tips of his fingers had turned blue. When he noticed your gaze, a flicker of sadness crossed his features before he muttered, obviously trying to sound as indifferent as possible, “Being monstrous has its benefits.”
“You’re not monstrous,” you protested softly.
For a split second, Loki looked surprised, and you thought he was about to say something else. Had you missed you as much as you’d missed him? Did he still think about the night he’d pushed you away, the kiss the two of you had shared? But the moment passed, and you cleared your throat. “I had an accident in the lab. One of Tony’s robots went rampage and I fell into a glass case with some plant and cut myself. I went to take a shower because there was pollen everywhere and then I started to feel like everything was on fire, so it’s safe to say I poisoned myself”, you croaked.
“And waited until now to tell – “ he began, but with a look of horror dawning on his face, his hands left their place on your wrists to gasp your upper arms before he pressed, “Which plant? What did it look like?”
At the loss of his cool touch, which seemed to be the only thing to keep the pain at bay, the agony rushed back to you, crawling beneath your skin like a swarm of venomous spiders. You doubled over once more with a low moan as you croaked, “Red petals. Like…like clover.”
Your throat was sore, and your skin, you realized now, was clammy with sweat; your breathing shallow and laboured, and white-hot anguish shot through your lower abdomen like a bolt of lightning, making you groan.  
When Loki didn’t reply, panic seized you – and another wave of this strange heat in your lower belly, this pulsing need between your legs; an ache in your core like you’d never felt it before. Ravenous. Raw. Primal. Intensifying with every passing minute.…And with terror, realization hit you what it was you were feeling.
“Loki, I –“
“It’s an Asgardian plant. We call it crimson clover. In low doses, its pollen has a calming effect, used in the infirmary and to induce sleep. That’s why Banner asked Thor to bring him a specimen of it as a sample. He hoped it could help him gain control over his transformation into the Hulk.” Loki’s voice sounded strangely hollow.
“And high doses?”, you urged, and it cost you everything not to moan aloud with the growing need glowing in your core, the urge to let your hands slide down between your legs and stroke yourself, to ease this ravenous urge. No. Please, no. No no no…
“In high doses, it’s a neurotoxin, which enhances heartrate and…other functions.”
“Am I going to die?” Fresh tears started pricking at the corners of your eyes as you glanced up at Loki’s, whose grasp on your arms had loosened to a gentle touch at your words, before he assured, “No. No, you’ll live. It just makes you…”
He drifted off, obviously searching for a good way to put it, when you finished blatantly, “Horny.”
“You could put it that way.”
“Oh god,” you choked out, pressing your hands to your burning face in horror and embarrassment, but Loki gently pried them away to make you look at him.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered, “Oh god, I’m so sorry –“
“Don’t be,” Loki hushed, and tears choked you at the tenderness with which he spoke to you despite everything that had happened between the two of you, all these things which didn’t make sense and the questions which kept haunting your mind day and night. He cared for you. You’d sensed it before, and you could see it now in the compassion shining in his eyes as he looked down at you, sprawled on his bed.
You wanted the ground to open up and swallow you whole. Everything to be spared the humiliation of the damned plant’s toxin wreaking havoc in your body and twisting your hormones, taking every shred of dignity as you burned alive with this agonizing desire. The sensations which kept flooding your body at the slightest movement, the slightest touch of the bedsheets against your exposed skin, the damp fabric of your dressing gown plastered to your feverish skin, were too overpowering for your senses, and every one of Loki’s touches seemed to worsen your condition further, feeding these greedy flames of need. You felt as if you might go crazy with lust.
“If you…um. Would give me a few minutes?”
“To help yourself?”, Loki asked with a stern expression.
“Either that or to die of embarrassment,” you deadpanned with a croak, “Probably the latter.”
Loki chuckled softly, but the concern in his gaze was unrelenting. “It doesn’t work like this.”
“What do you mean?”
“It has to be someone else. Or your condition will just worsen.”
“How long, then? How long until it stops on its own?”, you urged, desperation growing with every second of silence which filled the air as Loki contemplated his words, before he replied, “Days.”
You would have stared at him in horror, but your world was already fading into the white noise of pain sizzling along every nerve, every sinew and muscle and bone in your body. It felt like dying. You could only hope that the blackness which had begun to slowly creep in at the edges of your contorted vision would hurry to render you unconscious, passed out with agony so you wouldn’t have to suffer through these next few days.
“Let me help you, Y/N” Loki murmured softly, his voice nearly drowned out by the pounding of your racing pulse in your ears.
“Coldness helped,” you gasped, clammy hands clutching the bedsheets as another wave of pain rattled your bones, and you bit back a groan when Loki’s hands, still cool with his magic, cradled the sides of your face again to gently tilt your head and make you look up at him.
“We can’t put you in a freezer for the next days. You’re in pain. And I can’t…I can’t stand to see you in pain. Please, let me help you,” he implored.
“No,” you said, surprised by the vehemence in your weak voice as you shook your head, “No, I can’t let you do this.”
He frowned with hurt. “You would rather endure days of agony instead of giving in and letting me help you?”
“I can’t…”, you choked, interrupted by a sharp inhale of breath. Breath which seemed to burn your lungs as if you’d swallowed acid. With the last remains of strength you could muster, you whispered, “I can’t ask that of you.”
Your eyes fluttered close at the sensation of Loki’s fingers brushing away stray strands of your wet hair which had fallen into your face, before he murmured, “You didn’t ask. I’m offering. It’s my decision to offer – and it’s your decision to accept.”
The pad of his thumb ghosted over your cheek, and only then did you realize your face was wet with tears. Tears Loki was swiping away with a tenderness in his touch, in his gaze, that made your stupid little heart stumble in your chest. How many times had you imagined him looking at you the way he did now, touching you with such gentleness? But not like this. I couldn’t happen like this.
“We can forget about it, when it’s over,” he offered quietly, his tone growing more desperate, “We can pretend it never happened. Just let me help you. I just…I just want you to be okay.”
He was right. You needed help. And if anyone, you wanted it to be him.
“Okay.”
It was all the reassurance he needed, and the mattress dipped beneath you as Loki shifted and carefully pulled you with him, placing you between his legs with your back resting against his chest, and even this slight touch on your arms made you groan with unbearable desire flaring in your core.
“I’ll take care of you,” he soothed, and placed one hand on the damp skin over your collarbone to uphold his cooling magic and keep your fever as low as possible, while his other hand slowly wandered down to the apex of your thighs and the arousal pooling there, already running down your bare thighs, and you desperately rutted your hips in need of friction.
“Is this okay?”, Loki mumbled softly against the shell of your ear, and you gave him a breathless, panting nod, while he continued to let his hand roam down over the damp silk of your dressing gown, giving you time to stop him should you change your mind. You didn’t, though. You wanted nothing more than for him to touch you, to hold you...
“I promise I’ll make you feel good, my love,” Loki kept murmuring while his hand finally dove beneath the fabric of your flimsy dressing gown, and his voice was like honey running down a sore throat, a soothing balm against the guilt and shame raging beneath this all-consuming desire. Reassuring you that it was okay – something you needed to hear more than anything else right now. In the delirious state of your mind, you wondered if he’d actually called you love, or if you’d started hallucinating with the raging fever eating away at you. The touch of his cool hand against your blazing skin made you bite your lip with a drawn whine, eliciting the sweetest sensations in your fever-addled body.
“No need to stay quiet,” he encouraged softly, “Be as loud as you want to, darling.”
He didn’t need to tell you twice. A desperate cry fell from your lips when Loki dragged his cool fingers along the slickness of your folds, slowly spreading your arousal before he started to caress the throbbing bundle of nerves between your legs with gentle brushes of his fingertips. Your head fell back against his shoulder as you rolled your hips against his hand with the despair of a starving person at a banquet table, and every rational thought left you. The pleasure which flooded your body was unlike anything you’d ever felt, singeing your nerves until you felt like you might burst with it, craving more, more, more…
Loki’s breath against the column of your throat summoned trails of goosebumps on your heated skin while he started to whisper praises you his words a susurration which tangled with your moans.
“You’re doing so good, my love.” The tenderness in his hoarse voice made warmth bloom in your chest. His words, you knew, were meant to convey so much more. It’s okay. You don’t need to be ashamed. I’ve got you. It’ll be alright.
“You…” you breathed, and your lips brushed over the skin of his neck as you angled your head, “You feel so good.” The sensation of your lips against his throat made him utter a low moan, such a lovely sound; oxygen feeding the hungry flames in your core, and you rutted more desperately against his fingers to chase these sweet sensations…
His cheek was resting against yours, ink black curls tickling the side of your face as you tilted your head and the tip of your nose brushed against his jaw, feeling his own thundering heartbeat against your spine as another glowing bolt of bliss made you arch your back as Loki kept building your climax with slow caresses, his cool fingertips dancing over your clit in time with the movement of your hips, clouding your lust-addled mind and stealing every last ounce of control as the ball of fire in your aching core morphed into an explosion.
Your climax was so forceful that it knocked the wind from your lungs and let darkness seep into your mind, and you were glad nobody else was in the headquarters because you were certain the cry which spilled from the back of your throat as Loki’s skilled fingers continued to massage your clit and guide you through your orgasm would have woken everyone up to the highest storeys.
When the waves of your orgasm finally ebbed, consciousness started to reclaim your senses, and the haze over your mind lifted as fast as it had descended upon you, leaving behind nothing but pure, unadulterated grief. Grief, because it was over and you would leave, and you would never again feel Loki’s arms around you, his heartbeat thrumming against your skin, his voice whispering to you.
“Ssshh, it’s okay,” Loki soothed with a whisper, and suddenly his arms were around you, pulling you closer into him, “Did it work? Are you okay?”
“It did,” you uttered on a broken whimper, “It…Thank you.”
With the pain gone, the fire in your core extinguished and the toxin burnt from your system, there was no reason for you to stay. Loki had made it clear that he didn’t want to have anything to do with you, and the least you could do now was respect his wishes. But as you shuffled out of his arms to leave the bed and his rooms, his fingers wrapped gently around your wrist to hold you back and he pressed, “You’re crying, Y/N. You don’t seem to be okay so, please, tell me what’s made you cry. Because there is nothing to be ashamed of, and nothing you should feel guilty about.”
The pain in his words was more than you could bear, and when you finally shifted at the edge of the bed to look at him, his hand still holding your wrist, you could see tears brimming in his beautiful ocean eyes while he held your gaze.
“I miss you, Loki.” It came out as a quiet, broken sob, along with fresh tears spilling from your eyes. “I miss you every day. Every night. But I know that you want me gone and I respect that, so that’s what I’ll –“
You didn’t get to finish the sentence. Your mind went beautifully blank when Loki’s lips captured yours in a kiss which left your breathless and dizzy in the best of ways, urgent and desperate as his hands found their way to the sides of your head and he pulled you closer, making your heartbeat stumble and kindling new flames in your core, flames which felt right, so much better than the desire the toxin had awakened in you.
The world blurred and nothing else mattered anymore as the two of you sank down onto the mattress together, Loki situating himself on top of you, your legs wrapping around his waist to pull him closer while your fingers wove through his soft raven strands, and the blissful moan which escaped him at the sensation sparked another burst of colours in your chest. Fireworks.
“I need you,” you breathed, “I need to feel you.”
Upon hearing these words, Loki broke the kiss to glance down at you, worry flashing in his eyes as he asked, “This…this is real, is it? Not the toxin?”
“It’s real,” you reassured with a breathless smile, and his lips where on yours again, one of his hands gently tilting your head to deepen the kiss, coaxing open your mouth to taste you, and you could feel his clothed erection pressing against your core, eliciting a sweet torrent of pleasure which cascaded through you, and you languidly rolled your hips against his, grinding your soaked core against his length to summon another lovely sound from Loki’s lips as his free hand left its place on your chin to tangle in your wet hair.
Your hands slid between your bodies and down to free him, and the groan he uttered against your lips when you grabbed him and aligned him with your dripping entrance was the most beautiful sound you’d ever heard, and you took your sweet time to drag his tip along the wetness of your folds, his breath hot and heavy on your lips, feeling how his grip in your hair tightened with the sensation.
“Are you sure?”, Loki whispered once more, and your heart seared at the tenderness in his coarse voice, the affection shining in his lust-darkened eyes as he gazed at you as if you were the only person in the world. As if you were his whole world. He was stunning in every way, with the slight flush in his cheeks, the ghost of the soft smile which played on his lips, the stray curls of his raven hair which fell into his face, and you reached out with one hand to brush them away from his forehead before you murmured, “I need you more than anything else.”
His gaze stayed locked on yours as he slid into you, burying himself in your throbbing walls until he filled you to the brim, with a gentleness as if he were scared that he could break you. The sensation of him sheathed inside of you, his chest rapidly rising and falling against yours, breathing in each other, relishing the sensation of each other, made your eyes flutter close with overwhelming bliss.
“You feel so good,” he whispered, pressing a trail of kisses along the line of your jaw. The soft moan which spilled from your lips in reply was swallowed by his kiss as he started to move, burrowing himself deeper inside your dripping heat with every languid thrust, and you felt your walls clench around him with every electric wave of pleasure he sent through you.
Head tipping back with pleasure, you slid your hands beneath the soft verdant fabric of his shirt and to the soft skin of his back, nails leaving scratch marks as you pulled him closer and deepened the kiss, and you could feel the pace of his thrusts quickening, matching the movement of your own hips snapping against his with every wanton whimper tearing from you, every stroke of his tip against the sweet spot deep inside of you.
It was your name on his lips, murmured against your own, which made you come undone with a cry of pleasure as the first waves of your orgasm swept through you, immersing you in this beautiful glowing warmth Loki made you feel, the euphoria he instilled in your very soul, and you clung to him like a lifeline as your muscles went limp and he chased his own high beside you with faltering pace, telling you he was close as well.
“I love you,” he murmured as you felt him come undone inside of you, stealing another greedy kiss from your lips as the feeling of his hot cum spilling inside of you, paired with the confession he’d just whispered, unravelled you for a third time that night, gentle and all-consuming, filling you with bliss and love and the beautiful feeling of being safe and sound in his arms, surrounded by him, bodies moulded and souls aligned like the stars dancing in your vision while Loki gently rested his forehead against yours and helped you ride out both your climaxes.
A few heartbeats of silence passed in which you both waited for your ragged breathing to calm, your heartbeats to slow. You wanted to stay like this until the end of time itself, him buried inside of you, as close as possible with his heartbeat in tune with your own.
“Did you – did you mean that?”, you panted.
“I did. I do. Every word”, he rasped, and his hand slid out of your hair to caress your cheek as he continued, “I love you, Y/N.”
Against the lump forming in your throat, you whispered, “Then why did you push me away after that kiss?”
His expression darkened, sadness obscuring the happiness which had glimmered in his ocean eyes.
“I should never have treated you this way, my love. But I was scared.”
“To let me get close?”
You cupped his face between your palms, and whispered, “I love you, too, Loki. I love you so much. But I need to know why you did it.”
He nodded, and with a shaky exhale, he rolled onto his back, pulling you with him.
“My mother’s death was my fault.”
It took a few breaths for the meaning of his words to sink in, and you could feel the strain in his voice as he went on, “I didn’t know it then, but I told them where she was. I wanted to send them to Odin, and the only person who ever believed in me, who ever gave me the feeling that I was loved, paid the price. And I was scared the same thing could happen to you.”
He swallowed, and you inched closer, placing your palm on his cheek to gently turn his head and make him look at you. Your heart bled for him, for everything he’d went through.
“I’m so sorry. I wish I could help you ease the pain,” you whispered. “But I know, with all my heart, that you won’t hurt me.”
“I was scared, because…I never loved anyone else. I never even loved myself, and I’m still sure that nobody could ever love me.”
You felt as if you could burst into tears all over again upon hearing these words, but you bit it back. There were far more important things to do. You swiped at the tears which had sprang from his eyes, just as he’d done for you earlier, and asked softly, “Can you still do this memory-telepathy-thing?”
Loki nodded with a confused frown.
“Good. Then do it”, you urged gently and grasped his hand to place his palm on your temple, closing your eyes to summon all these memories from the past few weeks. To make him see what you saw whenever you looked at him. Beauty. Pain. Loneliness. Greed. Kindness. Jealousy. Wit. Humour. Compassion. Empathy. Snatches and fragments of colours in a kaleidoscope, and above all else, love.
When Loki released his magic’s soft grasp on your memories, his tears had started flowing once more, accompanied by the most radiant smile you’d ever seen him wear, a smile which chased away all the shadows and the doubts to replace them with nothing but a pure, unfiltered joy.
He didn’t say anything when he pulled you closer into his arms, against the heart which was beating for you. And for the first time in his life, Loki felt…happiness. For the first time, he didn’t feel alone anymore. For the first time, he believed that he could learn to love himself, with you by his side.
Loki taglist (let me know if you’d like to be added): @boneheadduluc​ @spiderhostia​ @a-midwinter-night-dream-86​  @zemosimp05​ @justfangirlthingies​ @cazzyimagines​ @rumblelibrary​ @victias​ @justanothertruebeliver @chiptaylormybeloved @vverliebt​ @madhatter2727​ @a-simp-recommends-fics​ @morphoportis​  @superavengerpotter​ @savvywords​ @thatoneleoslytherin​ @clockblobber​ @jhawk608​  @spooksgalore69​ @paetonnn​ @chaosbringer566​ @jesuisbenny​ @idkimjusthere23​  @dirtytissuebox​ @sarahpaq08​ @janetsnakehole02​ @swimgirl5665​ @wojciechovsk​  @flawed---by---design​ @the-maroon-panda​ @charistory​ @lokiperfection​ @jen-w​ @i-l-y-3000​  @spicy-acocado @fallinallinmendes​ @awkward-and-indecisive​ @whiskeywinter89​  @cringingmemeries​ @osugahunnyicedtea​ @dead-mitochondria @littleone65  @theaudacitytowrite​ @marchingicenotes7​ @palepurserebelcloud @variant59​ @lokistoriesblog​ @classicmarvelavenue​  @confettucini​ @1marvelnerd3000​ @glee-ghost​ @glacial-snowflakes​ @kingtwhiddleston​ @gabewerk
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bchargoistheartist · 3 months ago
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LOKI APPRECIATION WEEK
↳ August 15/Day Seven: Free of Choice
Loki Variants from Episode 2
I love the small cameos of Loki variants from episode 2 of the show!
Full-blood Frost Giant Loki, Tour de France Loki, Hulk Loki, Trickster Loki, and Viking Loki.
I’d love to see them in action where Tom Hiddleston plays each one at the scene, lol! 😂 That’d be one hell of the episode, huh?
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