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#loki: I have some ramen leftover do you want some
worstloki · 4 years
Conversation
Fury: How did interrogating Loki go?
Natasha: I got nothing. All he did was ramble on about his childhood trauma for five hours.
Fury: Maybe lower the dose of the truth serum next time.
Natasha: I didn’t use truth serum...
Fury: oh
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whatthefoucault · 5 years
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A Chronological List of Works by me, whatthefoucault: the Everything Edition
So it turns out I’ve actually written a very good number of words.  Almost all of the superhero things I’ve written fall into the same timeline/continuity, which I like to call Earth-212, adjacent to a few canons and then sort of also has a life of its own. I wasn’t sure how best to organise this, but here’s an attempt at placing all of these works into a vague chronological order, though almost all of them can be read independently and the reading order doesn’t really matter. Largely stucky, with some other Cap Fam shenanigans, and also a lot of entries for frostmaster and other Revengers business, some Hawkeyes, and various others. Heed the tags in each fic, but bear in mind I’m here for softness, recovery, finding one’s place in the world, and that’s largely what I’m here to write about.  If this list of everything-in-chronological-order is overwhelming and you want to get more specific, here’s:
Cap Fam
Revengers
Miscellaneous
The Stargazer’s Field Guide To Constellations
By the time Bucky happened upon him, doubled over on the front steps of the library, Steve was already as green as a plate of creamed spinach.
And My Heart Beats So That I Can Hardly Speak
Steve doesn't dance, but this was a special occasion.
(A Few Inches Too Far) Underneath The Mistletoe
It was purely by chance that Steve happened upon a scruffy little sprig of discarded mistletoe on their way back from dinner with the Barnes family.
So Take It From Me, Captain America
"Ok, Captain America PSA number four, take one, and... action."
Sextown, U.S.A.
The message was vague on details, but the urgency in Wade’s voice told Steve it was serious, and that he should come alone.
“Help me, Steve Rogers,” he pleaded. “You’re my only hope.”
Steve had to admit that that got to him.
(It would be three months before Steve would see Star Wars for the first time. Needless to say, he was not amused when he did.)
... In which two supersoldiers form a very special bond across several time zones, many states, and more all-you-can-eat breakfast than anyone should ever eat in their life.
Advanced Seminar In Postmodern Cultural Analysis, Lesson Five
In which Steve Rogers and his very good friend Wade Wilson hang out.
The Sand And The Sea
Clint and Kate have not talked about that thing that happened.
Bring Your Silver Arrows
After that thing that happened with Kate, Clint's going through some stuff.
Continental Breakfast Not Included
Sam had definitely asked for separate beds, but they had been driving since before sunrise, and it was almost midnight.
This Is Going To Make For An Interesting Expenses Claim Form
The scene before him as he rushed to the bathroom door, one pant leg still flapping awkwardly underfoot, would have to anyone else been highly out of the ordinary, but they were superheroes, after all.
The Season For Plums
One day, a man went to the market to buy plums. 
Notes From A Dirty Attic
I don't know what I'm doing.
My name is Bucky. I come from Brooklyn. I died in the war.
Particle-Wave Duality
While Bucky is napping, Steve reads to him.
Blackout Nights And Tight Spaces
It was cold, then sleep, but it was different this time. He was dreaming.
Caprine Management
In which Steve meets Bucky's new friends.
Everyone’s A Winner
Little did the Grandmaster know, when he settled in by the pool, that his evening was about to become much more interesting.
The Art Of The Co-Operative Endgame
The Grandmaster surveyed the board as Loki prepared to make his move, and - oh, this was interesting, he thought - there was a very good chance indeed that Loki might actually win.
Moonshakes
"Hey Scrappy," said the Grandmaster, "what do you think of the new guy, uhh, Loki?"
Gamalost
In which the Grandmaster has found the right companion with whom to share one of his very favourite things.
or
When Loki falls out of the sky and into the Grandmaster’s lap, he gets everything he hopes for and more. The more comes in the form of cheese. A lot of cheese.
Two Seat Sofa, Hensta Light Brown
"So..." Steve hesitated to finish the question, "are we dating?"
(In which Steve and Bucky come home.)
I Guess That This Must Be The Place
He closed his eyes, and prayed his words would project over the distance, somehow:
Count down from a hundred, and then come and find me, my sunshine.
... in which the Grandmaster embarks on an intergalactic road trip in search of his love.
A Constellation Of Sunlight, Beneath The Cherry Tree
It was well into the night when they lay together, but it was not until the morning that they made love.
Rugbrød, Fløtemysost, og Molter
There were some things the Grandmaster needed to know about Loki, and it seemed, from the shift she felt in her bones as she awoke, that this was the morning to address them.
No Less Than Three Kinds of Cheese
The sun was out and the park was beautiful, but it was still too cold for a picnic.
Sugaring
Every morning, Steve sets out from the little cabin to tend to their maple trees. 
Solskinnsboller
The fact that no bakery in the entire staggering metropolis he currently called home had ever so much as heard of solskinnsboller was tragic, but Loki was nothing if not resourceful. He would just have to make them himself.
Butter, Sugar, Flour, Eggs
"What was my grandma's name?" asked Bucky, apropos of nothing.
Syzygy
It was cloudy enough that most people chose to forego the beach that Tuesday, but such things would not deter the Grandmaster and Loki from a day out.
American Globs
Objectively, he knew everything was fine. He knew they were fireworks, and that they were beautiful, and back in the day, he and Steve used to sit under the stars together and watch them light up the sky with wonder and delight.
But time had passed since then.
It’s Like Right Now
Nat and Sam visit a street food market.
Me And My Baby Gonna Touch That Leather
"I think we should fuck," said Bucky, as Steve began climbing back under the duvet.
Say The Magic Word
"Hey, if you're going past the kitchen, do you think you could get me another coffee?"
Two Brooklynites and One Big Apple
“You did good out there today,” Captain America said, brushing a layer of detritus from his unfathomably broad shoulder. “I’ll see you around.”
“Not if I see you first,” replied Miles, fingergunning with one hand as he sent a web rope fwipping off into the distance with the other, catapulting himself away at tremendous speed.
… in which two superheroes battle with bad guys, embark on community art lessons, and a friendship forms along the way.
The Nemophilists
“Conspicuous,” said Steve, apropos of nothing. Bucky was putting away the last of the clean dishes.
“Conspicuous?” asked Bucky, nesting the heatproof glass bowl precariously in a short stack of significantly smaller cereal bowls.
“Yeah,” said Steve, scooping last of the leftovers into a container that, it turned out, was a tablespoon too small. “I’m.”
Nemophilist: (n.) One who is fond of the forest.
The Shape Of A Snake In A Defensive Coil
In which Loki's not very well, and the Grandmaster volunteers a solution.
Long Hair Problems, And How To Outsmart Them
“So I guess we’re not getting up early to line up for brunch?”
The End Of A Century
This is the story of a sister and her brother.
As the shadow of the war fades and gives way to new conflicts, Becca Barnes battles the constraints of the twentieth century: an education, a marriage, a career, with the ghosts of her youth never far from her memory. As the twenty-first century barrels on through its awkward teenage phase, Bucky Barnes builds a new life, with new friends, and a burgeoning relationship with his lifelong companion Steve, the erstwhile Captain America, as they struggle to find their place in the world. The last time Becca saw her brother was on the eve of war; neither of them expected, some seventy-something years, a hip replacement, and one new arm later, to be reunited.
This is a story about family.
And Our Dreams Are Making Us Nice Stories
Steve had been adamant that a party was unnecessary; however, his friends had insisted, bundling into his little Brooklyn apartment with pizzas and a selection of local microbrews and seven-layer taco dip and two dozen supermarket cupcakes emblazoned with the most neon buttercream he had ever seen piped into the stripes of little American flags.
A Ghost That The Others Can’t See
"What'd you tell her about me?"
"Only the good stuff."
From the Mighty Forest of Vacherin to the Belegen Fields
When it came to special events, the Grandmaster did not do understated.
The Littlest Balsam In Brooklyn
In which Bucky and Steve get a tree.
When Life Gives You Limoncello
In which Bucky has baked a pie. 
Blessings
At last, the shape of life after everything had begun to come into focus. Bucky and Steve consider the next steps, and some friends come to visit.
Kinugoshi
When the Grandmaster had suggested somewhere special for lunch, Loki was not expecting a small, four-table restaurant in an unremarkable suburb of Kyoto, but there they were.
Stargazing
"You know what? Let's get out of the city," Steve suggested after dinner.
(In which Steve has a very quiet birthday.)
The Mighty Hrothgar
"Uhh, I dunno about this place, stardust," the Grandmaster said to Loki, his tone hushed. "I've introduced myself to, like, five dogs, and none of them have said a word. Why don't they like me?"
The Fundamentals of Sciurine Linguistics
Sam Wilson was sure about three things: the words Captain America were enough to nab a table for two at the most popular noodle bar in the East Village on short notice, everyone loved a good noodle bar, and ramen was up there with corn on the cob and chicken wings as the worst possible food choice for a first date.
Eight Evenings In The Kitchen
The Barnes-Rogers Hanukkristmas season was always going to be one spent almost exclusively in the kitchen.
Light Showers And A Gentle Breeze
They had been under no illusions that there would be a guarantee of snow, but nothing could have quite prepared them for the abundant, relentless sprinkle of rain.
In which Bucky and Steve go somewhere quiet for Christmas.
Nine And Three-Quarters
"I don't get it, stardust," puzzled the Grandmaster. "It was supposed to be right here. Between Platforms 9 and 10."
Strollin’
"Hot dogs?" asked Steve.
"Hot dogs," agreed Bucky.
The Greatest Thing
In which the Grandmaster plays an early afternoon slot at his very first Midgardian jazz festival.
On A Quiet Morning In The Last Forest In Brooklyn
“We said we wanted to keep the guest list short,” protested Steve. “Just close family, and close friends. Nothing expensive, nothing... tacky.”
“As if you’re one to complain about tacky,” countered Tony. “I got my invitation by group text. Who does that?”
...in which Bucky and Steve get married.
The Witches Of Føroyar
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, nestled in a little cottage just beyond the rocky shores of a tiny, windswept island, lived two very special people indeed. The green witch drew his power from the moon and the stars and the deep, dark night sky; while the gold witch shone with the power of the sun, dazzling and bright. They loved the island and the mountains and the stormy sea, but most of all, they loved each other very much.
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