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#lol I'm writing these out of order
arecaceae175 · 7 months
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Tagged by @baileyboo2016! Thanks, this is fun!
Rules: Post the last sentence you wrote (fanfic / original / anything) and tag as many people as there are words in the sentence.
This is from Day 31 of Whumptober
"I’ll make it right,” Time said.
Counting the contraction as one, so I'll tag 6 people! No pressure :D
@the-sleepydetective @wildsage00 @zartophski @zarvasace @ikaishere @majorproblems77
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wikiangela · 5 months
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last line tag
tagged by @jesuisici33 @thewolvesof1998 @daffi-990 @jamespearce9-1-1 @lover-of-mine @hippolotamus @disasterbuckdiaz 💖💖
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It’s a good few weeks, and it feels like everyone’s back on track, settling into their lives again, figuring everything out one day at a time. Buck’s happy. He has his awesome girlfriend, his best friend seems finally more at ease, even if the divorce is adding some stress, and his other best friend is happier than ever with his mom around. Everything’s finally starting to go great.
And then it all gets disrupted again.
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no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @gaydiaz @diazass @thebravebitch @silentxxsoul @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @arthursdent @diazblunt @911onabc @spagheddiediaz @housewifebuck @gayhoediaz @rogerzsteven @watchyourbuck @monsterrae1 @honestlydarkprincess @underwater-ninja-13 @eowon @exhuastedpigeon @weewootruck @loserdiaz @evanbegins @steadfastsaturnsrings @ladydorian05 @malewifediaz @pirrusstuff @theotherbuckley @911-on-abc @spotsandsocks @hoodie-buck @giddyupbuck @wildlife4life @fortheloveofbuddie @nmcggg @diazpatcher @jeeyuns
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aquaristintern · 2 months
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going off of what dwreader and ghostfoolish have been saying better than i can:
why do people think louis will still be a believable victim and it won't be racist if the show just has armand mess with louis's memories regarding 1x05 and how claudia died, and also be controlling him throughout the entire interview/relationship? like not only does it paint victims of abuse as unreliable and unstable, therefore not be trusted with anything*, but it also, just, shifts most if not all the blame from a white man to a poc? we've asking this the entire time, but they still don't have an answer for that.
*like statistically speaking victims of abuses' memories might be muddled/repressed from the trauma, so even though they know the abuse happened, people will use the fact that they might not be able to describe an entire fight in specific detail, or got some dates mixed up, or did not speak up sooner, to paint them as mentally ill liars, or even abusers themselves. which is why i think giving louis false memories in 1x05 is still victim blaming in a way, because it encourages the trend of victims not being believed.
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pixelatedraindrops · 5 months
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Imagine Makoto has never gotten comfort or help when he's sick but then after he and Yuma are on good terms, Yuma takes care of him and Makoto's super touched
Yuma can't cook but he gets Makoto a wet rag to help him feel better, let's him lay his head in his lap and just makes let's him rest
Oh, trust me. That exact kind of scenario Iives rent free in my head ALL the time. And I even made it a bit of an angsty headcannon.
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Due to Makoto having to hide the truth about his body and what he is, he never once let a doctor examine him in the 3 years he’s lived. He may have been the same as all the citizens, but what if he was just slightly different due to being the only “perfect” one of his kind?
Because of this concern, every time he gets sick, he deals with it all alone. He tries to nurse himself the best he can and continues to push himself to work despite his health. Hiding his condition with his voice changing mask, and it fools people every time.
And if it gets bad enough… then he just lets himself die.
He is immortal after all…and not defective.
Hoping he comes back feeling better the next day when he revives. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.
But when Yuma eventually finds this out, he is furious and becomes even more determined to care for Makoto himself. Telling him his life is precious and he should never throw it away like that.
“It’s our…I mean your body…don’t treat it like that…”
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Yuma tells him that anytime he ever gets sick and is too afraid to ask for help from his people, that he can just call him. And he’ll come as fast as he can to assist him. (Unless he’s in the middle of a case, then he’d have to wait)
This of course touches Makoto to the point of tears. And he allows his original to continue to take care of him. Their bond growing stronger as he does so.
His original…is a good person.
He… likes him.
But Makoto will take advantage of this…
TOO MUCH
…because he wants yuma to visit him more <3
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kenobihater · 1 month
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WIP Wednesday Friday
“How're you coping?”
Cody snorts at the bluntness, staring down at the neon-drenched countertop.
“With work,” he says, instead of fine, or terribly, or I'm not. “He always shoulders… shouldered more than his fair share of the flimsiwork, always took on more responsibilities than he should’ve. Until the Council assigns another Jedi, that work falls to me. So, I wake up, I do flimsiwork, I read datapads til my eyes burn, and I go to bed. Can't sleep very well, but I try. I… I hate that everyone's walking on eggshells around me, waiting for me to fall to pieces. I can't. I have too much to do.”
Fox hums.
“I have no room to judge you for your work-life balance, but you're on leave, Codes. You need to take some time, or you're risking a breakdown in the field. If you don't take a breather now, you might fall apart later,” he says. Cody frowns. Fox is right, and he hates him a little for that.
“I don't wanna take some time. I can't.”
“Why not?” Fox asks, no judgment in his voice.
Cody runs a hand down his face, then looks at his brother.
“That makes it real. This can't be real. He's-” Cody cuts himself off. He was going to say he's alive, but is aware that's a bad idea for several reasons, and he's not even sure he believes that anymore.
Fox places a hand over his own, squeezing gently.
“I'm sorry. I know you were close. It's… fucking miserable, being the one that survives. It's even worse when the death is senseless.”
Cody sighs, resting his head on the bar and looking up at Fox. His brother's hair is grayer than he remembers it being, and there's a new blaster bolt scar on the side of his head. His eyes hold sympathy and pain, pain on Cody's behalf, and the unshakable certainty of Cody's loss that he's displaying is hard to look at. Cody shuts his eyes. He aches.
Cody feels the last spark of hope in his chest flicker out, and a dark grief rears its ugly head in its place.
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bereft-of-frogs · 2 months
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I wrote a longer and more overwrought version of this post when I was slightly drunker (yay distillery book club) but the shorter, more sober-clarity version is: it's so ridiculous that about 50% of my current fandom experience is based on things that are now 25 years old (thanks for the reminder, lucasfilm) and yet I'm terrified of being left behind because I 'can't move on' from something that is now barely 5 years old
you could probably attempt to make some sort of sweeping statement about this, like the lifespan of media now versus the early 00s, but what it's really about is my own issues with abandonment which is affecting both my ability to move on (I really struggle with the 'crew breaks up between installment thing', always have) and also the general fear of behind left behind, rather than any real trends in fandom as a whole
ok I think that's enough for superb owl sunday
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forest-hashira · 5 months
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Yuji Rescue
ok. so. before i pass tf out, i decided to post a lil scene for you guys!!! i let @ghost-1-y pick lol SO here's part of Yuji's rescue! @peachdues you can pick the next snipped once i have more scenes fleshed out aaahhhhh
Note: Rye is the name of Nanami's dragon, Takara is the name of Reader's dragon
“Kento, I don’t think there’s anyone here.” You glanced over at your friend then, though his gaze was still locked on the torched landscape beneath you. “We’re too late. They got away, we need to move on.”
The blonde was silent for a few moments longer, guiding Rye to circle around the remnants of the village once again. He seemed even more focused than usual, his brows pinched as he scanned the scorched settlement. “I’m going down to check it out. I feel like we’d be missing something if we left now.” Without giving you a moment to argue or ask what he meant, he took off down towards the ground, Rye’s wings tucked against her sides to speed her descent.
“Kento—!” you exclaimed, urging Takara to follow after the pair, once your brain had caught up to what was happening. With Takara’s size and speed, you landed less than a second after your friend, about fifteen feet of space between you. “Why did we land?” you asked, dismounting Takara once she had settled enough for you to do so safely. 
Kento dismounted Rye easily, one of his hands coming up to rest on her neck as he looked over at you. “I think there’s something here that we need to find.”
“Like what?” you frowned, casting your gaze around you. There was very little that was still actively burning, but there were patches here and there that were smoldering, and the air was thick with smoke. “There’s nothing here that’s still alive, and anything of value was likely looted before we arrived.”
“I don’t know what,” he replied tersely. “But I would appreciate it if you could humor me, just this once.”
You turned back to him, taking in his expression: his face was tinged with frustration at your questioning, but the rest of his body language pointed towards worry and uneasiness. Your brows furrowed a bit more, but you slowly nodded. “Sure, Kento. Should we split up and look around?”
“That would be quickest, yes,” your friend agreed, and you could see a bit of the tension in his shoulders bleed out at your words. 
You nodded, turning away from him and walking towards what appeared to have been a collection of buildings, though what those buildings were you could only guess; everything looked the same now that it had all burned down. Your steps were careful, and you picked up and moved what pieces of debris you could without burning yourself, making every effort to find anything that could have wound up buried in the wreckage of the village.
Just as you were about to give up, to urge your friend to move on once again, something caught your eye; a small flash of pale pink in the middle of all the black, though it was covered in smoke again immediately when the wind changed directions. But you had seen it, and whatever it was, you needed to get to it right away; maybe this is what Kento had been talking about.
Your pace was hurried, and you nearly tripped several times, but eventually you reached the place where you’d seen the pink spot. Now up close, it looked like hair, and your heart began to hammer against your rib cage. Is this a person? you thought frantically, looking for something to grab, some debris small enough for you to move on your own, but you quickly realized it was pointless. A sharp whistle to summon Takara came from your lips, then a call to your friend. 
“Kento!”
“What did you find?” the blonde called back, already making his way over to you. 
“I’m not sure, but it looks like a person. They don’t look burned, we need to get them out.”
Though you weren’t looking at him, you could hear how his pace quickened across the ground, your words having had the desired effect. Within moments, your friend and both of your respective dragons were at your side as you tried to figure out the best way to pull this person from the rubble.
“If you and Rye can take care of those pieces,” you said, gesturing at a few slightly smaller pieces of charred wood – what had likely been the walls of whatever building this used to be – “I’ll have Takara take care of the beam, and then I can go in and pull them out. I’m the smallest, it’ll be easiest for me to fit,” you added, when the blonde seemed to want to argue.
He frowned for a moment, not overly fond of the idea of you being the one to put yourself in a potentially dangerous situation, but he also knew there wasn’t any time to waste if the two of you were going to help this person. After a beat, he nodded, making his way to the debris he and his dragon would be responsible for lifting, while your own dragon sank her teeth into the pillar that had the person pinned. 
On your count, all three of them pulled the debris out of the way as much as they could, and as soon as there was a space big enough, you dropped to your knees, getting in close and grabbing the person’s shirt and pulling.
“Shit, Kento, it’s a kid,” you told him, the realization hitting you when the person was much easier to pull out of the wreckage than expected, the small form and round face of a little boy greeting you when you’d gotten a safe distance from the rubble. 
The blonde swore under his breath, dropping the rubble as soon as you were clear and rounding on you, dropping to his knees to look the kid over. He didn’t seem to be hurt too badly – just a few little cuts on his face – which was good, but there was no telling what kind of internal injuries he might have sustained during the siege. 
“We need to get him back to Shoko.” The woman was the best healer your settlement had seen in generations, her knack for knowing what was hurting someone and how to fix it bordering on magical; if anyone could help this boy, it would be her. 
Nanami nodded in agreement. “We should try to wake him first,” he murmured. “The last thing  any of us needs is for him to wake up while we’re in the air, panic, and start free falling.”
“Fair point,” you sighed, then began to shake the boy lightly. “Come on, bud, wake up for us,” you murmured, feeling a little foolish; you didn’t have much experience with children, and you didn’t even know if this boy could hear you, but you tried your best to come across as soothing.
Thankfully, the sounds of voices seemed to be enough to wake the boy, and his eyes slowly fluttered open. The sight of two unfamiliar faces hovering so close to him seemed to spook him, though, and he pushed away from you, staggering a couple steps away as he stared between you and Nanami. “Wh-who are you?” he stammered, clearly trying to put on a brave face.
You held your hands up placatingly, not wanting to spook the boy any further as you introduced yourself. “And this is my friend, Nanami,” you added gently. “Can you tell us your name?”
The boy hesitated, as if unsure whether he should share that information with people he just met, but eventually he seemed to decide it was okay. “Yuji,” he said, though his voice was so soft you had to ask him to repeat himself. “My name is Yuji.”
“It’s very nice to meet you, Yuji,” Nanami told the boy gently. “It looks like you have some cuts on your face, but are you hurt anywhere else? We have a friend who can patch you up, good as new, we just need to know where you’re hurt so we can tell her.”
At the blonde’s words, Yuji’s little hands came up to touch his face, and he winced a bit when his fingers touched the worst of the scrapes on his face, one under each eye. He dropped his hands then, looking down at himself, seemingly taking stock of his body before he answered the question. “My head hurts,” he said eventually, “and right here.” He placed his little hands over his rib cage, a grimace tugging at his lips at the feeling. 
“Does it hurt to breathe?” you asked, hoping for the kid’s sake he didn’t have any broken ribs; you knew from experience they were a bitch to recover from. 
Yuji frowned and shook his head, lifting his gaze back to yours. “No. Hurts like…to touch it. Hurts like I fell down.” He was clearly struggling to describe the feeling, but even his vague attempt was enough. If none of his ribs were broken, that was really what was most important at the moment. 
“Our friend will help with that,” you promised, trying to offer the boy a reassuring smile, though you were unsure of its effectiveness. 
The boy was looking around now, having apparently noticed the landscape around him. His expression was almost entirely blank, which was surprising to you, but you chalked it up to either him being in shock, or not knowing what any of this meant. 
“Anything else hurting you?”
Ignoring your question, Yuji’s gaze slowly returned to the pair of you, darting back and forth between you as he spoke. “Everybody’s dead, aren’t they?”
The words hit you hard in the chest like a stone, the weight of them sinking into your gut and leaving you feeling heavy. You shared a glance with Kento, not sure how to respond to the boy. He was right, of course, everyone else here had died, but how could explain the magnitude of that to a child?
“Yes,” Nanami said after a moment, turning back to meet Yuji’s big brown eyes. “I’m very sorry, Yuji. We didn’t find anybody else here but you.”
At first, all Yuji did was nod, but after a few seconds the words really seemed to click in his brain, and tears filled his eyes in less time than it took him to blink. He wiped the tears away as quickly as he was able, but they fell so fast he just couldn’t keep up, and they began dripping down his chin, some landing on his shirt, others landing in the ashes by his bare feet. “I want to go home,” he sobbed, the words so soft and sad you felt your heart shatter in your chest. 
“I know, Yuji,” your friend said softly, and with a tenderness you’d never seen from him before, he reached out for the boy, gently pulling him closer. “We’re going to take you with us, okay? You’ll have a new home.” 
The boy didn’t protest as Nanami pulled him close, even going so far as to bury his face in the man’s chest as he continued to cry. “Okay,” he whispered after a few moments. “Thank you, Nanami-san.”
The two of you shared a look, expressions serious, and after a moment, you gestured to indicate that the two of you – well, three, now – needed to get going and head back home. Yuji needed to see Shoko, and you and Kento needed to speak with Satoru, Suguru, and the higher ups to determine a course of action. 
“Yuji,” Nanami spoke, voice gentle as he tried to get the boy’s attention. “We need to leave now. Are you ready to ride with us?” he asked, once wide, red-rimmed eyes were looking up at him again. 
Yuji considered for a moment, sniffling softly and rubbing his eyes again. After a few moments, he nodded slightly. “I want to ride with you,” he said, turning his head to look at Rye, who was hovering just behind the blonde man. “Your dragon looks nicer.”
The words caused a slight smile to tug at the blonde’s lips. “Yeah, I think she’s pretty nice. How about you say hi before we take off?”
As Nanami introduced the little boy to his dragon, you took the opportunity to stand upright once again, dusting the ash from the knees of your pants before making your way over to Takara. You stroked her nose lightly for a moment, smiling as the touch caused her to settle down low enough for you to mount her, just like you had intended. With practiced ease, you swung up onto her back, settling comfortably into the saddle as you watched Kento get Yuji settled on Rye with him. The sight of the little boy seated in front of your friend, his little hands gripping onto the leather loops the older man had indicated, his face covered in soot and visible tear tracks, made your chest tighten; he was too young to have lived through something like this. You could only hope he would be able to find a good home in the settlement, with a family who would love him the way he deserved.
“Ready?” Kento called over to you, once he was confident Yuji was secure.
“Ready,” you called back. Grabbing the handles attached to the saddle, you pulled upwards, encouraging Takara back to her feet. With a quiet command of tobu, the two of you were in the air again, the dragon setting a course for home without need for further instruction. Kento and Yuji were only seconds behind you, and as you glanced over at them, you were thankful that the settlement wasn’t too far.
“Don’t worry, Yuji,” you heard Kento say to the boy, leaning down to be a bit closer to him so he could hear his words clearly. “We’ll get to our settlement soon enough, then we’ll take you to the healer, and you can get some rest.”
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galaxyseclipse · 7 months
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OKAY
so I went through the Side Order trailer a gazillion times, so it's disorganized thoughts/theories/opinions time!
we're just gonna put a cut here in case folks don't want to read a quite long post lol
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okay, so I think the whole thing of this campaign is that it's not real. nothing that happens is actually happening to Eight, Pearl, and Dedf1sh. I mean obviously it's happening to them, but it has no affect on the real Inkopolis Square
so, I think it's either (1) a simulation/virtual "what-if?" scenario(probably created by Marina) that got corrupted or (2) that "world of order beyond comprehension" Marina mentioned that probably also got corrupted
either way it's gonna be weird, and is probably connected to computers somehow
my main reasoning for that is that every time we(as in the player) enter an area it literally loads us into the area(bringing in essentially an LoD model, then becoming the player/weapons), which most likely wouldn't happen if we weren't in some sort of virtual world
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as well as this trippy glowy matrix-lookin' room thing
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also the fact that Pearl is literally a drone clearly designed to look like her, and it doesn't appear as if we see her normally at all in the campaign. so my guess is that the drone is Pearl's "avatar" in this virtual world. this is further proven by her description on the Japanese website
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this is a janky translation, but still, interesting wording
but why a drone? and why does it look like her? my only guess is that Marina made that avatar to look like Pearl, so she could be safe in this weird environment? I have no idea otherwise
why do Eight and Ded look normal then? why is Ded here in the first place? I have no idea, other than Ded saying they and Marina "go way back" and Eight maybe choosing to have an avatar that looks like themselves?
obviously a lot of that part of the theory relies on this world being something that Marina created and/or has/had some level of control over. I saw a theory somewhere(unfortunately I don't remember exactly) that was "maybe Marina's being controlled by whatever is all that black stuff and what's controlling the robot fish." which like, that'd be pretty dope ngl, and it'd tie into the "Marina made/discovered this place and it got out of her control" theory. and we've seen Marina precisely one (1) time, and it was in concept art that kinda made her look all glitchy and stuff
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so like, I dunno guys, I think 'rina might be in danger...
sidenote: I don't really like the "Marina's the antagonist/villain" theory. it just doesn't feel in character for her to do something like that on her own will. I'm down for puppet Marina, but I just don't think she'd cause this herself
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something that I've seen bounced around a lot is "you can play as either an Inkling or an Octoling!" using this as proof
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my honest opinion? this is a reused text string for the Run Speed Up ability. I don't think we're playing as anyone other than Eight, who is canonically an Octoling
which sucks because I'd be down to play as Agent 4, but whatever, guess they don't get adventures anymore >:(
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we're gonna go back to Dedf1sh(or, Acht, I guess) for a second:
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this line is weird
sucked into what? the simulation? how? why? did Eight and Pearl get "sucked in" too? or is she referring to the metro?
and how does she know so much about the tower? like the color chips and whatnot? have they been here a while?
SO MANY QUESTIONS AND SO FEW ANSWERS!!
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also, the color chip they hold out in that cutscene appears to say "AGNT" on it
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it could also say "ACHT", but I don't see why
what does this mean? does it mean anything? who knows!?
wait I got another picture of it in Eight's hand:
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it kinda looks like it says "AGNT 7" on it? I dunno maybe I'm just reading things I wanna see lol
it does more strongly resemble the Latin alphabet than the other scripts in this series though, so it's definitely worth pointing out imo
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gameplay opinions: looks fun!
folks are saying it looks like a rougelike, and even after looking it up multiple times I still have no idea what the fuck that means
skill tree thingy with the chips and stuff looks cool, hopefully it's implemented well, or at least not in a way that makes it more inconvenient to use it than go without
a bit of a bummer that it doesn't look like you can attack while flying around with Pearl though lmao. but I do like how she looks like she can use bombs(folks have pointed out a hyperbomb in one shot too :3c), and even (maybe, the shot's kinda weird) a singular killer wail speaker
also the design of the drone is fuckin' adorable
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like lookit this thing
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aesthetic-wise, not bad, I like the muted, pale tone of everything
...except for Acht for some reason?
like, I love Dedf1sh, and am very excited for their inclusion, but also:
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octo kinda sticks out like a sore thumb
maybe that's the point, maybe that's why she's helping us, to restore the colors to this simulation or whatever it is, hence the color chips and the soundboard looking thing....
hey wait a second am I onto something?
whatever, anyway, I like how it looks, and the small portions of soundtrack we've gotten so far sound great
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also, something pointed out in the comments on the trailer and I thought was morbidly interesting:
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those appear to be meat grinders.....
uh, yeah
not sure what kind of substance is coming out of them, but uh, yeah those strongly resemble meat grinders
Eight's gonna die because they were unable to use any small kitchen appliance and starved lmfao
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alright, that's all I've got for now I think lol
I wouldn't be surprised if we got one more trailer in like January or something with the release date maybe a Splatoon direct? probably not
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theflyingfeeling · 1 year
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I'm on a relatively bright mood and got a good hair day to top it all so I'm making y'all look at my nice hair and my pastel colour aesthetic 💖
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dallonwrites · 8 months
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did not write as much as i liked today but i made the playlist for the nanowrimo 2023 project that has a specific order to reflect the tones of the story and that's the closest i get to outlining before a draft so
#idk how to explain this from a I Dont Actually Outline Before Drafting Usually POV but#making playlists with a specific order feels like the first layer to understanding a narrative bc its like i can hear the tone of it unfold#i dont need to know what it will look like on page but i can look at a playlists body#and it feels like i can see the ebbs and flows of the narrative's tone/vibes/etc. the emotional movement#which for the type of stories i write that helps a lot LOL#making playlists that way kind of feels like ive put the story into a heart monitor. its not showing me all the vitals but its showing me#the movement of the story's core#OKAY WAITTT i think the best way to explain it is#i'm a very vibe driven writer but also vibes are very sensory to me#when i make a playlist its not just songs that remind me of the wip its songs that SOUND like the wip to me#i have a very deep sensory relationship to stories + sensory things connect me to the Vibes#and the more familiar i am with the Vibes of a story the easier it is for me to enter the story and then figure out what actually happens#which is why i prefer to discovery write most of the time bc being deep in the story like that#feels like a similar level of immersion that i get from things like playlists#PERSONALLY!#so when i make playlists in a specific order the songs usually group themselves together and it feels like i can hear how the story moves#through those groups without knowing what the events look like yet#playlists and moodboards etc are literally integral to me because stories usually start very abstract/vibey in my brain#rather than a clear idea and i need something more tangible/sensory to flesh it out
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adiduck · 1 year
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Chapters: 3/3 Fandom: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi Characters: Luke Skywalker, CC-2224 | Cody, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Owen Lars, Beru Whitesun Additional Tags: Rule 63, Order 63, Female Obi-Wan Kenobi, Female CC-2224 | Cody, Trans CC-2224 | Cody, (It’s Not A Focus It Just Is), Alternate Universe, Fix-It Summary:
The thing about Ben Kenobi, in Luke’s experience, was that she always seemed to turn up at opportune moments.
(Or: Ben Kenobi rescues Luke Skywalker and his two new droids from Tusken Raiders, and discovers that one of them has a message for “Obi-Wan Kenobi.” Things go a little differently from there.)
And it’s done! Today’s prompt: domestic :DDDDD
Thanks for coming on this ride with me, y'all! It's been such a blast to read through the few I've had time to read and see all the lovely art, and I'm looking forward to this weekend when I will be on a plane for six hours and have time to read the rest! <3 Glad to throw my little fic into the mix with such company. Happy birthday again, @goddammitjim! Hope everyone enjoys!
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non-un-topo · 2 months
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I've planned out 4 and a half chapters but it's not enouuugh
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keeps-ache · 4 months
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hmmmm. you agree right? [<- just walked into the room]
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liminalweirdo · 2 months
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probably i just need to eat but i feel like i'm fucking losing my mind today
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