#londoncapsule gifs | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

naughtyneganjdm · 1 year

Text

Mine - Chapter 4

Summary: Joel still has trouble showing affection to Y/N and Ellie steps in to give him a pep-talk about what he needs to do in order to make things right. Things become awkward when Y/N goes to see Negan who acts like nothing happened between the two of them.

Characters: Joel Miller (TLOU), Negan (TWD), the reader (OC, third person), Ellie Williams (TLOU), Tommy Miller (TLOU), Maria Miller (TLOU) etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45115177/chapters/114077854

Warnings: Swearing, angst, minor mentions of smut, etc.

Notes: Thank you to those that have given this story a try. I appreciate you reading it. Gif Credits: @magnusedom & @londoncapsule

Life was complicated enough as it was. The last thing Y/N needed right now was the world throwing a wrench into the natural flow of things to shake her world up even more. It seemed like when there was so much going on, the world always had a way of throwing more at you and that’s how Y/N felt. Right now she felt overwhelmed and confused.

Waking up today should have felt incredible. There should have been nothing, but happiness that she was feeling. When she fell asleep last night, she got the one thing she always wanted. To have Joel hold her in his arms. To comfort her and be with her before bed. For over a year it was the one thing she craved the most. It was perfect and it felt amazing. It was the closest feeling to happiness she had in so long. After a few days of not being able to sleep, it finally put her at ease and made her comfortable enough to fall asleep. Then again, it wasn’t hard feeling at ease with the warmth of Joel’s arms wrapped around her. It led her to feel protected by Joel. And it was a dream come true for her.

It was her dreams where things got confusing. There was one thing that repeated in her mind like a goddamn record that was stuck on repeat.

I love you.

And it was Negan that she was picturing. Everything he said last night was perfect. It was what you would want to hear from the person you were in love with, but it was her best friend. Her incredibly affectionate, sweet, supportive, good looking best friend that had always been there from the start.

Gazing over at Joel’s side of the bed, Y/N could feel her heart hammering inside of her chest. Joel had found his way back to his corner of the bed during the night. It would have been nice to wake up in his arms too, but maybe it was for the best that she didn’t because even in her sleep she thought about Negan’s kisses. At this point it did feel like a dream. One that her brain conjured up because she had been longing to hear it from someone for so long, but she knew it really happened.

Swallowing down hard, she felt that her throat was dry and she wondered if she should tell Joel what she had done last night in kissing Negan. Multiple times Negan had tried to convince her that it was just because she had gotten emotional over them almost dying together, but she wondered if that was truly the reason. Deep down, she figured that was why Negan told her that he loved her. It was one of those moments where your mortality was in question and it made you do things that you wouldn’t normally do.

Everything that Y/N wanted in Joel, Negan seemed to be. He was affectionate and he wasn’t afraid to show it. He said all the right things and always made her feel seen. Confusion would be an understatement right now because she would be lying if she said she didn’t have some sort of feelings for Negan, but she knew that she was head over heels in love with Joel. Plus, Negan had Morgan so she needed to get that thought out of her mind.

People sometimes got their feelings confused when it came to their best friends, right? She wouldn’t be the first person in the world to gain feelings for their best friend and confused it for something more. It just made her feel bad because all she had been asking of Joel was for him to show her some kind of affection, but it made her think about how Negan had been showing her that for so long. Joel only just started showing her the best that he could after she almost died. After Negan called him out on his actions. But Negan had been showing them all along.

“Shit,” she groaned out, lifting her hands to rub at her face. Stress was starting to get to her and overwhelm her.

There were two men in her life. Two incredible, amazing men that she cared very much about. There was Negan who was the best support system she could have asked for. Showing up at Jackson around the same time as Negan had made them almost immediately closer. When the community was still growing to trust them, they had each other. Negan was one of those people that you could only dream of having in your life. Someone that made your days go by easier. There was no question that she loved being around Negan. His personality and his attitude lifted her up. Joel was someone she was immediately smitten with. There was a connection she felt immediately with him and she knew that she wanted Joel in her life. She knew that from the first moment she met him. Even though he did his best to hide them, she knew there was so much good to Joel and he just needed someone to have faith in him to help him be the best he could be. It was just so hard to let him know that it was okay. That he could be the man that he wanted to be. There was just so much pain and trauma in his past that it made it hard to be with him sometimes, but that didn’t hide the fact that she was completely in love with him.

The sun was starting to rise and she knew that this would be around the time that she would typically get up for work. Yet, there was no work for her to do right now. With her getting hurt yesterday, it meant that she was supposed to lounge around and rest. She was never the resting type, so that was going to be hard. As soon as she got the okay from the doctor that she would be fine to work again, she hoped that Maria and Tommy found a good place to put her.

Getting up slowly, she still felt an incredible ache in her body from what happened the day before. If anything she hurt more today than she did yesterday. Then again, she figured that was because of the adrenaline spike in her body when everything happened. When she stood from the bed, she had to take a moment to gather herself before she started moving again. After getting dressed she went for the stairs and could only picture how terrible she looked moving down them.

“You look like shit,” Ellie’s young voice caught Y/N’s attention when she finally reached the bottom step. Ellie was sitting at the counter eating some cereal for breakfast and Y/N had to stop to gain her energy back.

“I feel like shit,” Y/N informed Ellie with a wince finally getting the strength to head to the kitchen to get herself a mug. Before getting the coffee started for the morning, she made sure to grab the pain medicine they had given her the day before. Quickly swallowing it down, she braced her hands against the counter.

“Do you need help?” Ellie offered but Y/N shook her head. She didn’t want people to pamper her in this moment. She needed to work through it herself. When Y/N started making the coffee, Ellie groaned out and took a big bite of her breakfast. “I don’t know how you and Joel drink that shit. It smells like ass.”

“I’m not sure if I could make it through the day without the caffeine,” she explained to Ellie with a small smirk. Moving around the kitchen, she reached out to curl her arm around Ellie to give her a hug at first. Ellie looked up to give Y/N a strange glance before getting up from her seat to wrap her arms carefully around Y/N.

“I can do a hug,” Ellie responded making Y/N lower her head to rest her chin on top of Ellie’s head while she hugged her. “Is this one of those you are appreciating life more moments because you almost died?”

“I just feel like we need to start showing the people we care about affection while we’re here and I love you kiddo,” she responded with a heavy sigh making Ellie smile before releasing Y/N from the hug to allow her to go get the coffee that was ready.

“I love you too,” Ellie smirked showing that the interaction actually made Ellie happy to hear something like that. Being with Joel had its perks. Ellie was one of those things. It gave her a relationship with a child that she never thought she would have. Especially in a world like this. In a way, Ellie felt like she was her adoptive daughter and she enjoyed getting to spend the time with her. Ellie was definitely one of those things that made being with Joel easier. “Is everything okay?”

“I’m alive, so that’s good, right?” Y/N didn’t want to stress her woes or her pain to Ellie, so she just pushed it aside. “Any pain I’m feeling, that’s what the medication is for, right?”

“I can’t believe you were almost killed yesterday. And it was from an accident of all things,” Ellie stressed with a shake of her head. “All the crazy things to almost die from in this world and you almost get crushed by a fucking turbine. Thank God for Negan, huh?”

“No kidding,” Y/N swallowed down after pouring herself some coffee. Wrapping her fingers around the mug, she allowed the warmth to warm her hands while she thought about Negan and everything that happened the night before. Even though Y/N considered herself best friends with Negan, it was clear that Ellie knew Negan more than Y/N actually did. Which, thinking about it was kind of sad. “Ellie, is Negan good with Morgan?”

“Sure,” Ellie thought about it for a moment and nodded her head about. “Morgan loves the hell out of him. And he makes sure that he’s very involved in her life and makes it known that he loves her. Their relationship is very sweet.”

“Oh,” Y/N felt a lump develop in her throat hearing that. If Negan loved Morgan so much, then why did he say the things that he did to her? Why tell her that he loved her? Wasn’t that unfair to Morgan? And why the hell was Y/N getting jealous hearing that? Y/N had Joel. Being jealous over a relationship that Negan had with someone else should have not been upsetting her as much as it was.

“Why do you ask?” Ellie finished up with her breakfast and pushed her bowl forward and away from her on the counter.

“I’ve just never seen the two of them together. I’ve never even met Morgan, so…” Y/N began making Ellie snicker and her face scrunched up. “What?”

“You’ve never met Morgan and you consider Negan your best friend?” Ellie almost poked fun at her making Y/N shrug her shoulders dramatically. Ellie wasn’t wrong. There were a lot of things that made her feel like a shitty friend with Negan when she thought about it. “That’s strange.”

“I’m busy a lot. I haven’t been in Negan’s home, ever. Last night was the first time that I was,” she declared making Ellie tip her head to the side. “I couldn’t sleep last night and I went over there to thank him. I kept thinking about my life and I knew I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for him. So I wanted him to know that I was thankful that he saved me.”

“Makes sense,” Ellie acknowledged hearing the sound of a groan when she looked to the stairs to see that Joel was making his way down them. “Good morning old man! I see the dinosaurs wanted to get up later this morning.”

Instead of responding, Joel just gave Ellie a huff and she chuckled to herself. Mornings were usually when Joel was the grumpiest and Ellie loved giving him shit. That was their relationship. Joel took his time making his way to the kitchen to grab his owl mug for himself. Pouring his coffee, Joel took notice that both girls were watching him and he gave them a nod. Joel let out a thankful sound when he took his first sip and it made Y/N smile.

“You’re an angel for making this,” Joel explained enjoying the warmth of the coffee that he eagerly drank down. Joel’s hair was still a mess showing that he was exhausted while he rest back against the counter. With the way that Y/N was staring out at him, he shrugged his shoulders and smirked. “What?”

“Nothing, I just like your hair,” she set her mug down and moved across the kitchen to brush her fingers on her good hand through his hair. Joel’s eyes were hooked on hers with her so close to him. “Do you want to make breakfast together?”

“I should be going in early. Tommy and I are going to have to figure out how to fix the platform and the building,” Joel frowned, his eyebrows furrowing while her fingers slid down from his hair over his jawline. Teasing them through his facial hair over his jawline, he noticed the way her eyes looked over his lips and his gaze went to Ellie who was watching the two of them.

“Making breakfast doesn’t take that long,” Y/N pointed out, her thumb dragging out over Joel’s bottom lip. “How about pancakes?”

“I don’t like pancakes,” Joel grumbled, his face scrunching up when a rumble fell from his throat. Huffing out, he turned on his heel knowing that she didn’t mean to but hearing her say that reminded him of Sarah and his past. Lowering his head, he cupped at the mug full of his coffee and felt her hands sliding in over his sides.

“I forgot, I’m sorry,” she apologized making him feel uncomfortable with how touchy she was being in front of Ellie. Leaning in, she rest her head against his broad back when she wrapped her arms loosely around his waist. “We can do some eggs then, some toast and maybe some freshly squeezed orange juice?”

“I really have to get going,” Joel repeated turning in her arms to face her, putting a bit of distance between them in the way that he turned in her arms. There was no doubt that Y/N was being incredibly clingy today and he just wasn’t used to all of…this. “It was my job before the world fell to shit. Being a contractor. So I’m the only person that would really get this work done quickly. That’s what I’m really good at.”

“The contractor,” Ellie grumbled out in a distorted voice making Y/N chuckle and Joel gazed over at Ellie with a shake of his head showing by the smirk at his lips that he was amused by her antics.

“What was that?” Y/N questioned making Ellie snicker and toss her hands up in amusement.

“It’s a joke between Joel and I,” Ellie nodded her head while Joel sipped down on his coffee. “I’m sure they would be okay if you stayed home with Y/N today. After what happened, I think people would understand. I would stay with her if I could, but I have school. Which you can fuck off for that by the way.”

“You’re still a kid. You need to study,” Joel grumbled making Ellie dramatically roll her eyes.

“In this world, what the hell is going to school going to do for me?” Ellie pushed for answers and Joel stared out at her blankly making her laugh. Instead of giving her an answer, Joel simply grunted and went back to drinking his coffee. “Exactly! It’s not going to help me at all.”

“You just have to,” Joel moved out of Y/N’s grasps and reached for the cereal that Ellie had eaten earlier. Grabbing a bowl, Joel poured some of the cereal in for himself and reached for the milk that Ellie still had out. Lifting it up, he sniffed the milk to make sure that it was still good making Ellie’s face scrunch up. “I just have to check.”

“I guess that’s a no on breakfast?” Y/N rest back against the island at the center of the kitchen making Joel glance back over her before shrugging his shoulders. “Maybe you can just go in and come home early to be with me?”

“You know I can’t do that,” Joel responded making Y/N nod before swallowing down hard. “If you want a warm breakfast today, you should go to the dining hall to grab something when we leave. It makes sense for you to do as little as possible so you can rest.”

“Right,” Y/N’s cheeks flushed over and Ellie immediately picked up on the fact that Y/N’s feelings seemed to be hurt. It made Ellie want to smack Joel for his ignorance, but she stayed quiet.

Joel’s stare fell upon Ellie and he nodded toward the stairs, “Go get ready for school. I’ll walk with you.”

“Got it,” Ellie hopped up from her seat looking between both Joel and Y/N. “Be right back.”

When Ellie was gone, Y/N took a second to think about things before stretching her hands out across the top of the counter. Joel was standing facing away from her while he was eating the cereal he had gotten himself, “Joel, I need to talk to you about something.”

“Yeah?” Joel spoke with a mouthful, turning on his heel to stare out at her. He was holding the bowl in his hands while still chewing. When she was silent, his eyebrows bounced up and he shook his head. “What is it?”

“Are we okay?” she felt uncomfortable that he seemed tense with her again. “We went to bed and things seemed good, but now…”

“Everything is fine,” Joel interrupted her taking a bite, shrugging his shoulders.

“Yeah, but…” she noticed him look down at his bowl while he pushed the spoon around. Thinking back to the night before, she felt her throat go dry thinking about Negan. “There is something I need to tell you. It’s kind of important. It has to deal with Negan…”

“I know. You told him all about our relationship,” Joel commented making her words come to a quick halt. “So I know to expect shit out of his mouth now because he knows it all. You don’t have to worry about that. I told you it was fine.”

“It’s not that,” she felt her face getting warm with him repeatedly cutting her off this morning. She wanted so badly to tell him about kissing Negan, but she could tell that he was already in a closed off, potentially bad mood this morning. What she did with Negan was just making her feel guilty and she felt like she needed to be honest with Joel about things. “It’s just I was talking to Negan and…”

“I don’t care what you told your best friend. I’m not going to lie, I’m really sick of talking about Negan,” Joel informed her with another mouthful. Hearing that surprised her because there seemed to be some anger in his tone when he said it. “I feel like over the last day we’ve talked about Negan more than I care to admit. I don’t hate the guy and I appreciate that he saved your life. I know he’s your best friend, but I don’t want to talk about Negan anymore. Okay? He’s not in our relationship and the less we talk about your interactions with him. The better.”

“I just wish you would listen to me for once this morning,” Y/N begged of Joel hearing the sounds of footsteps returning. Ellie stepped at the entrance of the kitchen to stare between the two of them seeing that there was an upset expression over Y/N’s features.

“Do you need me to come back in a few?” Ellie pointed over her shoulder, clutching to the backpack that she had slung over it. “It looks like you were in the middle of something.”

“No, we’re good,” Joel shoved in the last few bites of his breakfast before setting the bowl down in the sink. Rubbing his hands together, Joel moved around the kitchen and grabbed a few things. “Let’s head out. We need to get you to school.”

Urging Ellie toward the front door, Joel heard Y/N call out to him and he stopped. Y/N bit at her bottom lip when Joel nodded his head about waiting for whatever it was she wanted, “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

“Not that I can think of,” Joel retorted making Ellie roll her eyes and huff before walking off to the front door. Joel checked to make sure that he grabbed everything before pointing toward the door. “I’m going to head out. You should probably just go back to bed and get some rest after you eat, okay? I’ll be back as soon as I can be.”

Swiftly heading to the door, Joel could see that Ellie was already outside and he closed the front door behind him, “Hey! Wait up.”

“You’re an idiot,” Ellie looked over at Joel while she walked to town toward her school.

“Why?” Joel grumbled, shoving his hands into his pockets while he walked side by side with her.

“Because she was asking you to kiss her before you left. Maybe give her a hug,” Ellie educated Joel on what Y/N was asking of him before he left. “I know without a doubt you just hurt her feelings so fucking bad. Is it a man thing? Or is it a you thing?”

“That’s not what she was saying. She was just asking me if I forgot something,” Joel stopped walking hearing Ellie let out a defeated sound. Ellie stopped as well, turning to face Joel when his neck tensed.

“You’re not used to women, are you?” Ellie pulled at the straps of her backpack, shaking her head while Joel clearly had issues understanding what she was going off on. “Y/N was trying to be affectionate with you and you’re an idiot. The girl was asking you for a kiss before you left for work.”

“Then why didn’t she just say that?” Joel’s southern drawl rumbled making Ellie drop her head back and groan out. “Wouldn’t she ask me for that if that’s what she wanted?”

“How old are you? Fifty-seven and you still don’t understand how women work?” Ellie reached out to push at the center of Joel’s chest making him grunt. “I’m fifteen and I get it more than you do. You suck at this whole relationship thing.”

“I’ve never been the best at relationships,” Joel threw his hands up in the air making Ellie bob her head dramatically.

“That’s obvious,” she blurt out making Joel grunt something underneath his breath. Joel rest his hands at his hips and Ellie shook her head. “She just wants you to love her man. No woman wants to tell you to kiss them. They want you to want to kiss them. She wants to feel special Joel.”

“God, I’m trying. Last night I told her that she was my girlfriend and I cuddled with her. It was two things that I don’t really do. But I did my best. I’m trying to give her things that she wants, why am I always so wrong and hurting her when I’m trying?” Joel emphasized on his words feeling flustered that he was always seeming to do things wrong. It felt silly saying these things to Ellie. Talking about his love life with her didn’t seem…right. “I shouldn’t even be talking about this with you.”

“You should because maybe you might actually get some good advice that will help you,” Ellie snorted, her young features looking disappointed in Joel. Other children from town were walking to school, but Ellie knew she could get away with being late. “You need to keep making her feel good. You have to kiss her, hug her, tell her that she’s special. You’re gonna lose her man.”

“No, I won’t,” Joel shook his head and folded his arms in front of his chest. “She knows that I’m trying. And she loves me. She tells me all the time.”

“Was what you just did in there trying? Because if that was trying you failed my dude,” Ellie insisted pointing back toward the house. “She wanted you to kiss her when you first came into the kitchen. And nothing.”

“We shouldn’t be making out in front of you,” Joel pointed out making Ellie reach up to drag her hands down her face in a frustrated manner. “What? We shouldn’t be.”

“Kissing her is not making out with her. People kiss Joel and they hug!” Ellie looked down the street seeing that a couple was outside talking before one of them was about to leave. Ellie pointed off in the distance making Joel’s eyes squint looking in the direction. The couple kissed before the man left and Ellie nodded. “See! People kiss and no one bats an eye. You have to start being less of a robot. Kiss her when she wants to be kissed! When she wants to make breakfast with you, make it with her. She suggests making pancakes with you and it looked like you would rather die than be anywhere near her.”

“Pancakes just remind me of Sarah,” Joel frowned feeling his chest aching at the thought of it. “It upset me.”

“And how is she supposed to know that unless you tell her?” Ellie inquired making Joel sigh loudly and lower his gaze down toward the ground. “You punished her for that. If I didn’t know you and the way you tick, the way you just acted around her, I would have sworn you hate her.”

“I don’t hate her!” Joel defended himself, placing his hand over the center of his chest and Ellie tossed her hands up.

“I know!” Ellie responded with a huff, her eyebrows furrowing and she rolled her eyes. “That’s my point. You hurt her feelings. She was absolutely crushed. You don’t act like a boyfriend Joel. You don’t act like someone who is in love with her. She just seems like an annoyance to you.”

“That’s not how I mean to do things,” Joel admitted, something catching his eyes when he could see that they weren’t far from Negan’s home. His attention was pulled when he noticed that Negan was limping home.

Ellie was still talking and his attention was elsewhere. With a growl, Joel flinched back when Ellie clapped in his face, “Earth to Joel! Where did you go just now?”

“Sorry! I was just looking at Negan. He should be resting and he’s walking all about town,” Negan took notice of the way that Negan moved. With his sling on and the limp that he had, it seemed like Negan had been hit by a truck.

“Just because he’s hurt doesn’t mean that life stops for him Joel. He has to take care of Morgan,” Ellie stated with a roll of her eyes making Joel shake his head in disgust.

“Why does Morgan need an injured Negan to take care of her? The hell is wrong with this girl?” Joel snapped making Ellie bob her head about clearly flustered with Joel and what he was saying.

“What the hell are you on about? How is Morgan supposed to take care of herself?” Ellie was completely shook with what Joel just said and she rolled her eyes. “Listen, I don’t know what crawled up your ass today but you need to fix things with Y/N. The woman almost died yesterday and you are leaving her alone to herself.”

“Well what am I supposed to do?” Joel asked making Ellie start to pace showing that she had enough with Joel right now.

“If I were you? I would march my ass right back to that house. I would grab her, I would kiss her and I would tell her that she’s perfect. That you care so much about her and you are so fucking thankful that she is still in this damn world,” Ellie was loud and it made the mother that was walking with her child let out an offended breath and Joel’s cheeks flushed over with red.

“Sorry ma’am,” Joel reached out to pull Ellie in closer to him. “That mouth is going to get us in trouble.”

“Regardless Joel, be a man,” Ellie scoffed pulling away from Joel before looking over her shoulder at the school. “I have to go, but please…for the love of God do what I asked of you. You have something good there. She loves you. She loves us. She knows about what happened to me and she has stayed quiet. We’re a family Joel. Don’t ruin it.”

“Ellie…” Joel frowned feeling Ellie move in to wrap her arms around Joel’s waist tightly. Pausing, he lowered down and wrapped her up in his arms to hug her firmly. “Have a good day at school kiddo.”

“Listen to me old man,” Ellie smacked Joel’s shoulder before running off toward school.

Looking over his shoulder, Joel headed back toward home. Walking across the street, he went to pick up Tommy so they could go to work, but he couldn’t help but think about what Ellie had said to him. With a huff, he stayed standing outside and tipped his head from side to side. He was debating which he needed to do more. Listen to Ellie or continue on with life and do what he would normally do.

“Come on Joel,” he tried to coach himself before looking back at Tommy’s house one more time. He had to make a decision and he was so damn conflicted.

“You forget where I live or something old man?” Tommy’s voice called out making Joel look back over his shoulder at his younger brother while he stood in front of Tommy’s house. “Are you getting that fucking old?”

“Haha, so damn funny,” Joel growled when Tommy moved in beside him and bumped him with his shoulder. Joel felt a lump developing in his throat when he gazed to his home again.

“How’s the lady?” Tommy saw Joel’s brow line crease and he nodded.

“She’s sore. Moving slower today,” Joel recalled what he had seen reaching up to rub at the back of his neck. “I think the excitement from everything died down and she’s really feeling the effects of the fall that happened afterwards.”

“You sure you want to go to work today?” Tommy spoke up smacking his older brother in the center of the chest with the back of his hand. “I think today we will mainly just be doing cleanup and fixing the turbine. We need to get that sucker in there. It’s crazy how little damage that thing took, but how easily it ripped through the platform.”

“Yeah, of course,” Joel swallowed down feeling Tommy pat him between the shoulders when he nodded his head. Joel watched Tommy run off to the front door to call Maria to say goodbye and give her a quick kiss goodbye. It made Joel think about what Ellie had said. She was right. Y/N wanted to be kissed goodbye. That’s what normal couples did. Joel just knew that he wasn’t…normal. He warned her of that from the start, but he knew that she just wanted to feel some sort of normal with their relationship. Rubbing at the back of his neck, Joel ultimately decided to stay and wait for Tommy instead of doing what Ellie said.

On their way to the powerplant, Tommy was heavily focused on what happened the day before. Talking about how bad he felt about things happening. How it was his fault. Negan and Y/N were heavy topics of discussion for him, but Joel was quiet and kind of locked inside of himself, “I’m surprised that Negan and Y/N aren’t furious with me. They almost died and they didn’t take it out on me.”

“Tommy, am I a bad…” Joel stopped walking, turning to his younger brother who seemed surprised that Joel stopped so abruptly. Joel was having a hard time thinking things out when he threw his hands about. “A bad partner?”

“A bad partner?” Tommy wasn’t sure where his brother was going with that subject.

“A significant other to Y/N,” Joel explained further making Tommy’s dark eyes narrow and Joel watched his brother immediately look away from him. “I am, aren’t I?”

“I don’t know Joel, it’s none of my business,” Tommy rambled making Joel huff loudly. “I don’t know what you want me to say Joel.”

“I want you to be honest with me,” Joel thought about Ellie’s words and they were really weighing heavy on him. He was regretting not doing what Ellie told him to. “I’m not good to her, am I?”

“You’re not bad to her,” Tommy responded with a shrug, shaking his head. “I just think, you could be better. I think you’re…cold. And that’s not exactly your fault, but the only person that I’ve seen you show extensive amounts of love to is me and the kid. Most of the town knows the two of you are together, but then they question it because you’re such…”

“An asshole?” Joel filled in the blanks hearing his little brother huff.

“I wouldn’t say that,” Tommy stammered feeling visibly uncomfortable. “I just think you are with someone who gives so much love to you. I’ve never seen someone try so hard to make someone happy. The gal loves you, Joel. It’s rare we find someone in this life that wants us happy. In this world, we’re lucky to be with anyone, you know. Big brother, I just…it’s just who you are. Sometimes you’re hard, but the girl is willing to put in the effort for you. I reckon that says that you are doing something right.”

Letting out an overwhelmed rumble, Joel bounced on his feet for a minute before starting to take slow steps backward, “Tommy, I have to come in later today. There are things I have to do and I just…I need some time. Okay?”

“Of course. Take your time,” Tommy assured Joel with a nod seeing Joel head back in the other direction, moving swiftly back toward the homes. “Don’t overdo it big brother. You’re fucking old.”

Ignoring his brother’s mocks, Joel rushed home and when he got there, he ran up the stairs to the door. Bursting through the door, he could feel his heart hammering inside of his chest when he searched the first floor.

“Y/N?” Joel called out hearing the sound of movement when she walked into the kitchen. Advancing forward, Joel curled his fingers around the back of her neck and brought her to him bringing her in to kiss him. Grasping her face in his rough hands, he caressed over the sides of her face with his thumbs feeling her hum against his lips. “I’m so sorry. I’m so goddamn sorry.”

“Joel,” she gasped, digging her fingers into his hair when he hooked his arms underneath her thighs to pick her up to pull her in against him. Her other arm wrapped around his shoulders so she didn’t fall when he headed toward the stairs to carry her up them.

Carrying her to the bedroom, Joel carefully laid her at the center of the bed before crawling in over her and kissed her with all the passion he could muster up. The soft sweeping of his tongue against hers drew her fingers to hook harder into his hair making her purr out into his mouth.

“You are so perfect and I care about you so much,” Joel slurred against her mouth, his hands reaching down to work open her pants making her gasp when she looked down between the two of them. “I’m so happy that nothing happened to you. I would have been lost if I woke up this morning knowing that you were no longer here.”

“Joel,” she whimpered, her hand dragging down over the side of his face while his dark eyes gazed into hers. Joel worked to get her pants down before helping her carefully get her shirt from her body. It took her breath away when she watched him pull his clothing off in a haste before laying in over her. Laying himself between her thighs, Joel nuzzled his nose in against the side of her neck when he allowed the skin-to-skin contact between the two of them.

“I promise, I’m going to try to do better,” Joel whispered, peppering faint kisses against her lips before pushing his hips forward making her gasp when he entered her. Unlike the other night, this time he was taking his time to actually make love to her. Keeping his eyes locked on hers made his heart hammer inside of his chest while he took his time rolling his hips against hers time and time again. “I swear.”

Joel felt her hand palming in over the side of his face and he turned his head toward her palm to kiss over the center of it before lowering back down to kiss her again, “You are so beautiful.”

“I love you,” she whispered making Joel swallow down hard. That wasn’t something he was ready to say to her in return, but he was hoping that sometime soon he would be able to say it himself. With a weak smile, he lowered down and met her lips in a lingering kiss.

“I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” Joel breathed against her lips still wanting to take that time to focus on her to make her feel special like Ellie told him to do. “I never want to lose you. Now that you’re in my life, I never want to let you go.”

----

“Goddamn it,” there was another knock at the door and Negan let out a rumble of a groan. He was laid out on the couch, a pillow over his head in attempts to block out the light that was helping to aid in giving him a headache. All morning and afternoon people had been showing up at his house with gifts after they heard what he had done. Asking Maria to not make him a hero in the town had become unsuccessful and while he appreciated the gestures, he didn’t like being viewed as something that he didn’t feel like he was. Being the town hero was not on the list of things he thought he deserved and he hoped that by staying silent the person at his door would just go away. When the knocks continued, he huffed out loudly and stayed where he was. “The door is unlocked!”

Hearing the door push open, he didn’t even bother to move on the couch or pull the pillow from his head when he heard the person enter and close the door behind them, “If you’re leaving a gift, just put it on the kitchen table with the others. If you’re coming to steal from the house, just leave the toys. If you’re coming here to kill me, please just make it fucking fast.”

There was a silence that followed making him swallow down hard. With a jump, he felt someone stroking at the back of his good hand making him lift his head up. The pillow fell from his face and he saw that it was Y/N sitting on the ground beside the couch. A weak smile tugged at his lips when he sighed and allowed their fingers too hook when he realized it was her.

“You’re getting that many gifts, huh?” she found amusement in the way that he had responded thinking she was someone else from the town bringing him something. “You get anything good?”

“Well, I’ve gotten two pies. One pumpkin and one cherry,” Negan informed her with a bounce of his eyebrows, nodding toward the kitchen. “The two nice ladies that work at the dining hall brought them here for me. One of them either brought me tea or weed to help me. I haven’t quite made out what it is yet. When she handed me a bag of leaves, I was in too much pain to even know.”

“What?” she snorted making Negan laugh, but he immediately regretted it when the severe ache in his abdomen from his broken ribs returned.

“Yeah, so there is that. All the guys that have visited have brought me some kind of alcohol,” Negan informed her with a long rumble of a sigh, stretching out his long body on the couch that he was laying on. “With all the alcohol, I’m thinking I can save them and make some decent trades around town. Who knew people would be so willing to hand over valuable things just because I saved your life.”

“Well you’re the town hero,” she teased him, caressing her fingertips over the back of the hand that she was holding. “Maybe you deserve it.”

“I told all of them no, but they didn’t listen to me,” Negan responded with a shake of his head. “I mean the pies I’ll eat, but I’m on a shit load of pain pills right now and that doesn’t go well with alcohol. I’d have to be really desperate to mix the two.”

Leaning forward, Y/N rest her head against Negan’s side and she sighed. Negan took notice of the way she found comfort with him and he grumbled to himself, “What about you? What have you gotten?”

“Nothing,” she was honest with him, her eyes lifting to his making him let out an offended breath. “Tommy and Maria have checked on me, but other than that…”

“You’re joking,” Negan hissed, his eyes rolling when he heard that people weren’t showing her the same kind of attention they were him. “You think the world changes and it ends up being the same way it was before all of this happened.”

“You deserve the attention more than me Negan. You risked your life to save mine,” she reminded him and Negan shook his head.

“But you need to know that people still appreciate that you’re here. That they are happy you are still around,” Negan insisted and she felt her chest ache when she thought about it like that.

“I’m not sure people like me all that much. Just you,” she pointed out making Negan let out an upset breath. “Maybe they are just scared to come see me because they are afraid of Joel. Regardless, I kind of just disappear into the background. My social life is pretty much you, Tommy, Maria, Ellie and Joel.”

“I hate people,” Negan asserted, laying his head back down again while his fingers squeezed tightly to hers.

“Are you only on the couch because you can’t make it up the stairs?” she changed the subject knowing that she had been worried about him.

“I can make it up the stairs, I’m just too lazy to,” Negan joked with a tiny laugh feeling her fingers grasping tighter to his. “Tonight I’ll probably make it up there. Most likely. I need to get a shower in.”

“You can call the two nice ladies back from the dining hall to help you with a sponge bath,” she teased him making Negan let out a rumble of a laugh. “I’m sure they would enjoy that.”

“I think they would have a heart attack once they saw me naked. You have to understand, that’s only for the eyes of the strong. When you see something as beautiful and big…” Negan started to ramble making her groan out before blowing a raspberry at his abdomen. It made him snicker, but wince at the same time because of his injury. “I’m just saying. They won’t expect it to be as big as it is and…”

“God, how are my two favorite men in this world so very much alike, but also so very much different?” she stammered making Negan’s smile fade and he wiggled her hand in his before lifting it up to deposit a kiss over the back of her hand. “You’re a dork.”

“I’m a lot of things,” Negan agreed with her, adjusting the pillow that he had over his head originally and putting it underneath it. Closing his eyes, his Adam’s apple bounced in his throat and he yawned. “Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

“My mind hasn’t let me do that a lot lately,” she declared with a simple shake of her head. “I’ve been thinking about you, a lot.”

“Oh yeah?” Negan turned his head to the side and stared out at her with a smile. “What about?”

Truthfully? That kiss and I love you. But that’s not what she was going to talk about.

“Tell me about you Negan. I think it’s time you told me why you hate yourself so damn much,” she frowned making Negan’s eyes narrow and a muscle in his jaw flexed. “You don’t want to be considered a hero. You don’t think you deserve good things in life. Why?”

“You won’t want to be around me anymore if you knew,” Negan assured her, his facial expression very serious when she shook her head. “I’m serious Y/N.”

“I don’t care about your past Negan. All I care about is who you are now,” she promised him, giving his hand a supportive squeeze. “So tell me.”

“There’s not much to say. I was a bum before this shitty world happened. I was married to my high school sweetheart. I started my life off as a jock. I was really good with sports. I was really good at what I did. Then in college I got injured and I gave up. I became a high school gym teacher and I was a dickhead with a short fuse. I got into a fight with a guy one time at a bar after he called my wife a few choice names so I beat the ever-living shit out of him. It got me arrested, it made me lose my job and I got depressed. I hated the man I became and I cheated on my wife,” Negan was honest with her making her nod her head while he sold himself completely as a worthless piece of shit. “My wife at the time found out she had cancer and I stopped. I changed my life around only for this apocalyptic hell hole to start and I took care of her. It didn’t matter though because no matter what I did I couldn’t save her. She killed herself because she didn’t want the cancer to kill her. She wanted to be in control of her own life. She did it while I was gone because she knew that I wouldn’t be able to deal with it.”

“Shit,” she watched Negan pull himself up a bit so he could sit while she continued to hold onto his hand. “Then I became an even bigger, shittier miserable asshole. I hopped from group to group where people kept dying until I found one that needed a leader and I made myself their leader. I became a huge piece of shit. I hurt people. Just for the hell of it. I took their supplies. I did awful things.”

“We all do questionable things in order to survive,” Y/N suggested making Negan’s eyes tear over and he shook his head slowly. “You’re more like Joel than you think.”

“I doubt it,” Negan half laughed, lifting his head enough to show the scar that was barely visible over his neck, but it was still there. “A guy I was fighting with at the time cut my throat because of what I had done. I lived and they put me in a jail cell in someone’s basement for about seven years. When I finally left, I met another woman that saved me. We got close and she ended up pregnant with my baby. And uhm…well, she died when trying to give birth to our child.”

“Negan…” she felt her heart drop seeing the way that his hazel eyes teared over while he spoke about his past. “Why didn’t you tell me this?”

“Tell you what Y/N? That I lost people?” Negan questioned and shook his head. “We all lost people. Joel lost his daughter. You lost your family. It doesn’t make my sob story any worse than anyone else’s. I was an asshole at the beginning of this shit storm and I feel like the world was paying me back for the things that I had done.”

“And your baby?” she saw Negan’s bottom lip tremoring while he laid stretched out before her, his eyebrows furrowing when the sound of another knock was heard on the door.

“No one’s home,” Negan called out only to hear the door being pushed open and he groaned out. Popping their head inside, Negan saw that it was Maria and grumbled to himself as she entered his home and closed the door behind her. “Speak of the devil.”

“Oh yeah, that’s me,” Maria looked between the two of them with a container of something in her hands. ‘I wanted to come in and check on you Negan.”

“I’m surviving,” Negan answered seeing the way that Maria looked down to his hand that was holding onto Y/N’s while they sat and were talking together. Trying to push back his emotions, he knew that Maria saw he was emotional and he shrugged. “I’m horrible with pain. I cry like a baby when I’m in pain.”

“I see,” she hummed, her eyes narrowing while she looked them over. Y/N picked up on the fact that she was staring, but she didn’t pull her hand away which surprised Negan. This was the wife of Joel’s brother, but she seemed confident that it was okay to be holding Negan’s hand. “I’m glad you both are here. I grabbed some homemade soup from the dining hall. I thought you might want some. It’s nice and warm. It should help with getting you to relax and that way you don’t have to make yourself food.”

“I’m not gonna lie to you Maria, my ribs hurt too much to even swallow,” Negan informed Maria with a grumble making her shrug. “You know, I asked you not to tell everyone that I was a hero. Yet today I’m getting gifts galore.”

“Most people don’t complain when they receive things for free,” Maria reminded Negan stepping further into the house to look at the table where she found the things that he was given. “Plus, I didn’t tell anyone. Word travels fast you know. In a town of a little over three hundred people, people hear things.”

With a grunt, Negan watched Maria disappear into his kitchen and he sighed, turning his head to Y/N, “The people in this town have no problem walking into your house and walking around. I know it’s a different world, but it still takes some time getting used to.”

“That’s because we trust everyone here,” Maria called out from the kitchen from where she obviously heard Negan. It made Y/N smile and tip her head down. After a minute, Maria stepped out into the living room and sighed. “Which do you like better? Pumpkin or cherry?”

“I don’t care. Pie is pie,” Negan answered watching Maria disappear into his kitchen. The sound of dishes being set up were heard before Maria came out into the living room with them.

“Let’s get him up,” Maria suggested making Negan groan and pull his hand up to make them wait. “You’re on a lot of pain medication and you need to eat.”

“Yes ma’am, but I’m going to feel like an asshole if I make the two of you pick me up,” Negan insisted, carefully pulling himself up into a seated position on the couch. It took him time before he was able to stand up to his feet. Both Y/N and Maria still helped him toward the kitchen and Maria held a chair out for him at the table where she had already cut a piece of pie for the both of them and gotten soup out for them. “Thank you, Maria.”

“You got it,” Maria moved around Negan to squeeze at his shoulders in a soft grab. “I’ll stop by every so often to check to see if you need something.”

“You’re not going to eat with us? I have enough pie,” Negan pointed toward the table, letting out a huff when he noticed that Maria cleaned up the gifts he had been given so that they were tidy and in order. “At least have a piece of pie with us.”

“I have to get back to the baby,” Maria explained with a loud sigh looking between the two of them. “But I��ll take a raincheck on the pie. I promise we’ll do something else.”

Maria moved around the table and reached her arms out to give Y/N a hug, “It was good to see you, Maria.”

“I’m glad to see you up and moving around,” Maria gave Y/N a big smile before heading back toward the door. “I’ll see both of you later.”

Hearing the sound of the door closing, Negan watched Y/N slowly take a seat at the side of the table where Maria had set up a spot for her, “You know, if she knew about my past, she wouldn’t want me here. She thinks I’m a good man. You’re the only one here that knows I’m not.”

“I think you’re still a good man,” Y/N stretched out her hand, placing it in over Negan’s left that was braced over the table. Stroking her fingers over the back of it, she shook her head and sighed. “You acknowledge you’re wrong and you have tried to change. I see good in you.”

Negan simply nodded and swallowed down hard. It was obvious he was still emotional from what they were talking about before Maria showed up and she sighed, “I have to be honest with you about something.”

“Yeah?” Negan cleared his throat and shifted in his seat.

“You’re a better cook and baker than ninety percent of the people here,” Y/N informed Negan with a weak smirk making Negan laugh before nodding his head. “I have tasted your food and I’ve tasted theirs. I can say that no one is quite like you.”

“I had a lot of time to learn to cook,” Negan knew that he had brought her a lot of things he had made from home to work on the days that they shared lunch together. “I guess this is where it’s my time to be honest with you. I am right-handed and I’m going to look ridiculous trying to eat with my left. So please don’t make fun of me.”

“I would never,” she assured him with a smirk watching him attempt to eat his soup with his left hand. “You’re not used to being helpless, are you?”

“I hate it,” Negan grumbled after swallowing down a spoonful of his soup. “The doctor told me that I need to wear the sling for a few days, but I’m not allowed to use the arm for two weeks and that my injury might take twelve to sixteen weeks for it to heal completely since I’m older. As far as my ribs, the doc said that should heal on its own in about six weeks, but I’m not allowed to be super active. I’m not a very lazy person.”

“I’m sure Maria will be able to find things for you to do while you are on break,” Y/N was eating her soup with Negan and for the most part they were quiet. She was wondering if Negan would ever bring up the kisses from the night before. At this point he wasn’t even acting like it happened. Maybe that was a good thing, especially after how Joel had been acting this morning. “I think me almost dying made Joel…change.”

“Good, it’s about time that he did,” Negan grumbled taking another bite of the soup that Maria had brought them. “I hope he sticks with it now. You’re a fucking unicorn. One in a million and he needs to treat you as such.”

“That is so weird that you called me that,” she snickered making his eyebrows bounce up when he gazed out at her. “I was obsessed with unicorns when I was a child. I no shit had this onesie that I used to run around in when I was a kid that was a unicorn. It was white with like pink and purple hooves.”

“Now I’m picturing you in that outfit right now,” Negan joked, his nose wrinkling in amusement and he shrugged his shoulders. “I think you’d make the cutest little unicorn.”

“Now you’re making fun of me,” she felt her cheeks flushing overhearing his deep rumble of laughter when she rolled her eyes and went back to eating. “I thought they were real Negan. I was deep in it. When school asked me to do a project on my favorite animal when I was a kid, I did the unicorn. Imagine how disappointed I was when they broke it to me that they weren’t real.”

“Well fuck them for taking away a child’s imagination,” Negan grumbled finishing up his soup before reaching for the pie that he was given. “Unicorns still exist. I would know because you’re one of them.”

“Stop,” she chuckled pushing at the soup that she still had left in her bowl.

“Hey, I wasn’t even a child and I wore a grumpy bear onesie for a while. My first wife got it for me as a joke and to be honest with ya, it was so comfortable I would wear it around sometimes,” Negan informed her enjoying the smile that he got out of her when he told her that. “We should find your boyfriend one. It would suit him very well.”

“You are going to get punched if you keep it up with that whole Mr. Grumpy Pants thing,” she warned him making Negan chuckle and bob his head about. “I swear, he can only take so much because he is…well, he’s…”

“Grumpy,” Negan finished hearing her laugh out before covering her mouth. “You love him, but he is grumpy as shit. We both know it.”

“He is a little grumpy,” she agreed with Negan seeing him wink before taking a bite of the pie that was on his plate. His nose wrinkled when he swallowed down the bite and sighed. “Yeah, maybe they should let me help make the food here because these ladies aren’t...great with their pies.”

“It’s the thought that counts,” Y/N ate the rest of her lunch and when Negan got up to put away the plates that he could carry with his left, she heard him yelp out when he reached the sink and it made her jump up. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

“I stepped on a goddamn Lego. I hate those fucking things,” Negan looked down and huffed out making her laugh at his answer. “That shit ain’t funny Y/N. I would rather break my ribs and dislocate my shoulder than step on these fucking things. They hurt.”

“You’re ridiculous,” she got up from the table and moved around the counter to see the Lego that was on the floor that he had stepped on with his bare feet. Reaching down, she picked it up and set it on the counter. Her eyes fell to the Lego set that was there noticing that it was a Star Wars themed toy. Reaching for it, she picked it up and held it out to him. “You a big Star Wars fan?”

“Oh, we’re huge Star Wars fans in this house,” Negan explained with a wink before going back to do his best with the dishes that he had with his one hand. “Be careful with that. My ass will get kicked if that gets broken. We worked on that sucker forever. I traded well for that one.”

“Leather jacket wearing, video gamer that likes comics and Star Wars. Gets along well with kids and is a former schoolteacher,” Y/N repeated everything she had learned about Negan recently. “I’ve learned more about you in the last week than I have in my whole time knowing you. How is that Negan? You talk a ton.”

“Ah yes, but I don’t talk about myself and shit,” Negan waved his hand about when he turned and leaned back against the counter. It made her feel bad seeing Negan like he was with the sling on his arm and in pain. His face looked sore and he looked absolutely exhausted. “I’m better to talk to anyways. Plus, you may be a little self-absorbed.”

“What?” she blurt out hearing the wicked laugh that followed. “Am I?”

“Sometimes, but aren’t we all? I was so fucking arrogant for most of my life. I think I just got sick of it. So don’t think I’m judging you because anything you are, I was so much worse in my past,” Negan placed his good hand to his chest and he could see that she was embarrassed. “Hey, don’t let it bother you. Everything is fine.”

“I should know you better than I do,” she explained making Negan shrug and reach up to brush his fingers through his messy hair. “I just know that I like the person that you are. You’re my best friend and I need to start getting to know you better.”

“Yes ma’am,” Negan smirked, his hazel eyes having the light from his window reflecting in them. “We’re working on it.”

“Have you iced your ribs yet today?” she mentioned making Negan smirk before shaking his head. “Well, then let’s get you some ice on those ribs.”

“Yes ma’am,” Negan repeated knowing that she had seen the old-fashioned ice pack they had given him. Watching her fill it, Negan cleared his throat and shook his head. “You don’t have to take care of me you know.”

“I know,” she muttered, reaching to help him walk back into the living room. Helping him lay down, she placed the ice pack in place and heard him gasp. It made her smirk when Negan’s long eyelashes fluttered up at her. Brushing her fingers through his dark hair, she shrugged and looked to the door. “I should let you get some rest. Is there anything you need me to do for you before I leave?”

“Can you get rid of a headache?” Negan quipped making her nod. “I was kidding.”

“You have a washcloth around here?” she saw Negan’s eyes narrow and he nodded pointing toward the hallway.

“Linen closet in the bathroom. First door on the right,” Negan answered, closing his eyes while he laid down and waited. Hearing her footsteps, Negan smirked until he gasped when he felt a damp warmth covering his eyes and forehead. Y/N had obviously gotten a washcloth wet with warm water for him and it made him snort. “What the hell?”

“It helps,” she reached out to squeeze her hand in over his. “Get some rest. I’ll be back to check on you tomorrow morning.”

“I’ll be a good boy, I promise,” Negan gave her hand a final squeeze before feeling her pulling away. Listening to the sound of her footsteps leaving, he sighed and got more comfortable. After a few minutes he could hear someone at his door again. This time they didn’t knock and he heard the door being pushed open. “I really need to sleep so…”

Tensing up, Negan felt someone moving in beside him and with the washcloth over his eyes he couldn’t see who was touching him. Flinching, he felt the soft, tender sweep of fingers over his jawline, “Relax…”

With a shuddering breath, Negan heard Y/N’s voice surround him and he felt his body calming down knowing that it was her. His lips parted when he felt the pad of her thumb stroking over his bottom lip. He didn’t move so the cloth remained over his eyes and he felt the warmth of her lips hovering over his. With ease, her lips covered his surprising him. The kiss lingered and he knew that he shouldn’t have, but he kissed her back. Each caress of her lips over his felt enhanced without the sense of sight for him. Their breathing got louder when the kiss grew in strength. A growl fell deep within his throat when her tongue flicked at the inside of his bottom lip drawing out sensations from him that he hadn’t experienced in a very long time.

Brushing his tongue against hers, Negan felt her suck faintly at his tongue making him hum in response. With one final kiss, Negan felt her pull away just slightly. Her lips were lingering over his making him take in a sharp breath.

“You’re dreaming,” she whispered the same thing he did the night before. Another faint kiss was pressed over his lips making a muscle in the corner of his jaw flex. “When you wake up, you’ll realize this wasn’t real.”

With a nod, Negan felt his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat when her fingertips traced over the side of his face and through his short beard, “Just know Negan, if things were different, I would have no problem falling in love with you. You’re an incredible man.”

Negan’s lips parted and he felt like he wanted to say something, but he knew he shouldn’t when he heard a loud exhale fall from her lips, “That’s the last dream kiss. I promise. Enjoy your rest Negan.”

Not saying anything, Negan heard her get up and he stayed still. When she left and he heard the door close behind her, he let out an exaggerated sound. Reaching up with his good hand, he pulled the cloth from over his eyes and set it on his chest. Dragging his thumb out over his bottom lip, he felt his heart skip a beat knowing that he still tasted her against his lips.

“Shit,” Negan huffed knowing that he had avoided last night as much as he possibly could, but now having her kiss him like this a second time made him feel things he knew he shouldn’t. And her kissing him again, it sure as hell wasn’t helping.

----

Tags: @slutlanna976 @fuckthis-and-fuckthat @jennydehavilland @de-gabyconamor @ibelongtonegan @smallsadjellyfish @labyrinthofheartagrams @msjamesmarch @thebeautysurrounds @hotfornegan @redmercysugar @caprithebunny @tuttifuckinfruitty @emoryhemsworth @a-girl-interupted @akumune @stoneyggirl2 @xsarcasticwriterx @insertneganhere @haleygreen23 @xhannahbananax03 @sanctuaryforthelost @burningredaffair @killaweiser @dead-of-niight @ayumi-wolf @hollyismentallyillhelp @nt-multi-fandom @tone-stark @chloepricerk800 @thesapphirequeen @wonwoosthetic

#Pedro Pascal #Joel Miller #Negan #Jeffrey Dean Morgan #The Walking Dead #The Last of Us #Joel Miller x reader #Negan x reader #twd fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #Joel Miller fanfiction #Negan fanfiction

252 notes · View notes

pedroscurls · 1 year

Photo

Title: One Drunken Night (Part 6.)

CHAPTER TITLE: The Result

Character(s): Negan (pre-apocalypse), Joel Miller (pre-apocalypse, au), Reader (third-person POV) Summary: Reader finds out something unexpected, while Joel and Negan encounter each other once more. Word Count: 2,407 Author's Note: My, oh my! Now we have a reason for the title of this series... I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! We’re in for a more angsty ride ;) Warning: Mentions of unplanned pregnancy, death, language

(GIF Source: @joelmjller, @londoncapsule)

Two pink lines.

Two fucking pink lines were staring at her, almost mocking her for being so reckless.

And with a man she hadn’t even known for that long. With a man who had stopped talking to her.

It was one drunken night and now, here she was, pregnant and feeling like utter shit.

She was overcome with so many emotions. So many things had happened in the last couple of days and finding out she was pregnant was the icing on the cake. She didn’t have Joel. She didn’t have Negan.

She felt utterly alone.

She dropped down to the tile floor, her pregnancy test staring at her as she let out a loud sob. She was terrified. She never planned on having children and now she was going to be a mother. She didn’t know if she would even be a good one and it scared her.

—

Joel was sitting at a bar, staring at his glass. It was a quiet night and he was grateful that there weren’t a lot of people. His mind kept drifting to the night of their date, the conversation he had with Negan, and the look on her face when she told him to leave.

It wasn’t any of his business what she did. They weren’t in a relationship and they never had a conversation about who they could or couldn’t see.

Then, his mind shifted to his brief conversation with Negan. He hated how the other man crawled under his skin, saying just the right things to get him riled up. Generally, Joel was able to maintain his composure, but Negan was different.

He barely knew him and already, Joel didn’t like him.

“Want another?” The bartender asked, pulling Joel from his thoughts.

“Yep. Thanks.”

Just then, Joel felt someone take a seat next to him. He glanced over in that direction and immediately noticed the leather jacket first before his eyes moved to the familiar face. It was just his luck that the man he despised was now sitting next to him. It was as if the universe was punishing him.

“Joel,” Negan said, ordering himself a glass of scotch.

“Leave me alone,” Joel replied.

Negan tightened his jaw. It had been a rough couple of days and this was the only time he had to get away after Lucille’s diagnosis. They had been at the hospital for a couple of days now and Lucille had urged him to get out of the hospital, even for just a few hours.

“Listen–”

Joel turned his attention to the other and tightened his jaw. “I just said, leave me alone.”

Negan chuckled, taking a sip from his glass. “You don’t like me, do you?”

“Haven’t I made that obvious?”

“Just admit it,” Negan said. “You know we’re the same type of guy.”

Joel curled his hand into a fist, staring at the other man with a glare. He couldn’t get that thought out of his mind, but mainly because Joel knew that Negan was right. The only difference was that Negan was loud and Joel preferred to stay to himself.

“She’s a good one, isn’t she?” Negan continued.

“Don’t talk about her,” Joel replied protectively. “You don’t even know her.”

“I know her more than you think.” Negan smirked, flashing the other man a wink. “If you know what I mean.”

Joel then stood from the counter, downing his drink. He pulled out his wallet to pay for his tab before he heard Negan sigh. It seemed like the facade the other man had was slowly diminishing.

“Okay, wait, hey…” Negan sighed. “I would really like the company. I’m sorry for being an asshole. It’s kind of who I am.”

“Oh? I never noticed,” Joel lied, sitting back down. He wasn’t sure why he didn’t just leave the bar. Maybe it was something different about Negan’s demeanor, about his presence that was a complete shift from when they first met and certainly since their conversation on the phone. “But you’re buyin’ my next round.”

Negan nodded. “Deal.” He raised a finger in the air, getting the attention of the bartender as Joel ordered another drink.

Both men sat in silence, the sound of the bar filtering the building. Both their minds drifted; Negan to Lucille and Joel to Y/N.

Negan, unsurprisingly, was the first to break the silence. “Is she okay?”

Joel sighed. “Not sure. She won’t answer my calls.”

“She really is an amazing woman,” Negan admitted. “I just wish– Different circumstances and all that, you know?”

“Hm,” Joel replied, keeping his eyes on the counter of the bar. He knew exactly what Negan meant. If he had taken a risk sooner then maybe she would have never met Negan. It was something he thought about consistently since meeting the other man.

“You don’t talk much, do you?”

“Got nothin’ to say to you,” Joel said.

Negan ran his hand over his beard, feeling the scruff against his fingertips. He had barely gotten any sleep since the news about Lucille and his body ached.

“I don’t see what she sees in you,” Negan commented. “Maybe she just has a thing for us older men, huh?”

Joel huffed. “Listen, let’s not talk about her like she’s here. It ain’t respectful.”

“I do have a question for you, Joel.”

Joel sighed in response.

“You love her?”

Joel tightened his jaw. He knew the answer to that but hadn’t ever admitted it to anyone else, not even to himself. The plenty of times that he spent time with her had slowly brought him out of the dark pit that he had been in for so long. She was such a breath of fresh air he didn’t realize he needed and when he realized that Negan had been with her, it just made Joel have to come to terms with his true feelings for her.

“She’s a good woman,” Joel answered.

“That wasn’t my question.”

“Why do you want to know? She’s confused and it didn’t help that you decided to end whatever you had with her,” Joel replied. This had been by far the longest conversation he had with Negan so far.

Negan sighed, dropping his eyes. “A lot of shit happened in the past couple of days and I don’t want to drag her into my mess. She deserves better than me.”

“Yeah, I know,” Joel replied too quickly.

Negan caught onto his quick response and sighed, shaking his head. “I don’t expect you to understand, Joel.”

“I don’t wanna understand. What you did the other night affected her.”

“I’m married,” Negan blurted out. He felt a weight being lifted off his shoulders and he sighed. He knew that Joel was going to react and Negan was preparing himself for it. “And I just found out my wife has stage three breast cancer.”

Joel immediately turned his attention to the other man. He felt his blood boiling, but it was accompanied with a mixture of emotions. Anger. Frustration. And… Sympathy? Regardless, Negan was married and Y/N had no idea.

“You’re a fuckin’–”

“I know,” Negan interrupted. “I know. Like I said, she deserves better than me.”

“So does your wife,” Joel retaliated.

This caused Negan to tighten his jaw. He was already feeling like a complete failure before the diagnosis and finding out that Lucille had cancer was like pouring salt into the wound.

“We– We were on the verge of divorce,” Negan admitted. “She wasn’t happy. We were always arguing… Nothing I did was ever enough and so one night, one drunken night, I met Y/N. It wasn’t my intention to sleep with her and it certainly wasn’t my intention to cheat on my wife, but it happened and I’m trying to make things right.”

Joel was conflicted. He had been in Negan’s position before; Joel had his fair share of failed relationships, but the one that pained him the most was his ex-wife, Sarah’s mother. He had wanted to do anything and everything to make it work, but it just never did.

But one thing he never did was cheat on her.

He couldn’t.

He had Sarah to think about.

“I’m sorry your wife’s got cancer,” Joel finally replied. He knew grief and losing someone close all too well. His mind drifted to Sarah and it still pained him to think about her and it wasn’t until he met Y/N that he felt comfortable enough to speak her name again.

“I don’t know if she’s gonna pull through this, but–”

Joel interrupted. “You stay by her side every step of the way.”

Negan nodded, downing his drink. He looked over at the other man, noticing the distant look in his eyes and Negan had to wonder where his mind drifted to.

“You gonna tell Y/N about this?”

“No,” Joel shook his head. “Some things are meant to be kept secret. For her sake, at least.”

“I appreciate that,” Negan replied. He stood from the bar stool and sighed. He knew he had to get back to Lucille. “And Joel?”

“Hm?”

“Take care of her.” Negan was walking towards the door after paying for his tab before he heard Joel call out his name.

“You know, you got one thing right,” Joel called out.

“What’s that?”

“She also deserves better than me.”

—

A couple of days passed after Joel’s conversation with Negan at the bar and he couldn’t help but wonder and think back to the other man.

Though, it was Tommy who brought him out of his thoughts. “You haven’t talked to her?” He was sitting across from Joel after having dinner. They were both now having a beer and Tommy noticed the distraught on his older brother’s face throughout the night.

“I tried calling her. It’s been almost a week,” Joel replied. “She don’t wanna talk to me.” It was true. The day after their date, Joel tried to reach out to her, but she never replied, never returned any of his calls.

“I shouldn’t have ever crossed that line,” Joel muttered. “We were better off the way we were.”

Tommy shook his head. “And what’s that? Just friends?”

Joel nodded. “It was fine.”

“Joel…” Tommy set his beer down and looked across the table. He hadn’t seen his brother like this in a long time, probably before Sarah. His brother was in love and it was obvious to him.

“It’s fine, Tommy.”

“Y’know, sometimes I feel like an older brother.”

Joel scoffed. “Yeah, right. From the amount of times I have to bail you out–”

“Okay, I was just jokin’.” He interrupted. “Anyway, I’m just sayin’ if she’s not answering your calls, it wouldn’t hurt to apologize the old fashioned way.”

“And what way is that?”

“You’re the older one, you should know.” Tommy teased. Joel rolled his eyes and took a swig of his beer. “Bring her flowers, apologize in person.”

“But she don’t wanna see me,” Joel protested.

“How do you know that?”

“She won’t answer my calls, Tommy.”

“It’s been that long since you’ve been out of the game, huh?” Tommy teased once more, causing Joel to stand from his seat to smack Tommy’s arm.

“Let’s just drop it.”

Tommy sighed. “Listen, it’s clear you like this girl, Joel. When was the last time you’ve truly been happy?”

Joel glanced at Tommy as he walked into the kitchen, biting the inside of his cheek. Truthfully, Joel had numbed himself when Sarah died, not focused on anything but work. He had a routine. Wake up, go to work, go home, sleep. And he would do it all over again the next day.

But it wasn’t until he met her that everything began to shift.

“I don’t know, Tommy.”

Tommy stood and followed Joel into the kitchen, setting the empty beer in the recycling. He clasped a hand over his brother’s shoulder and gently squeezed in reassurance. “What else do you have to lose?”

Joel looked over at his younger brother. Tommy was right. Joel was used to being alone, especially after Sarah died. The worst that could happen was that she didn’t ever want to see him again and while that thought scared him, he was already used to being by himself, unbothered by anything and everything.

“Yeah,” he replied. “I think I’ll see her tomorrow.”

“Attaboy,” Tommy grinned.

—

It had been a week and it was another morning where she was on her knees in the bathroom, throwing up the contents from the previous night. She was a complete mess and couldn’t wait for her appointment with her doctor the following week. It had been a consistent five minutes of being at the toilet when she finally stood to try and make herself presentable. She brushed her teeth and grabbed an oversized hoodie to put on.

Once she finished, she heard a knock at the door and sighed. She didn’t know who it could be, but she truthfully didn’t want to deal with anyone.

She assumed that if she didn’t answer the door, the person knocking would just leave, but they were persistent and it was slowly becoming an annoyance.

“Fuck, hold on.” She called out.

When the door opened, there stood Joel with a bouquet of flowers covering his face, but peering over enough that she could see his eyes.

“Joel, what are you–”

“Hey, darlin’.”

She was overcome with emotions, staring between the flowers and Joel. Suddenly, she began to cry at the sight of him, taking a step back and allowing Joel to step inside. She wasn’t sure why seeing him made her emotional but subconsciously, she blamed it on her recent pregnancy.

“Oh, no… I’m so sorry. I–” Joel started, lowering the flowers as he inched closer to her.

When she looked up at him with teary-filled eyes, Joel immediately felt his heart ache. Instantly, he pulled her into his arms and he relaxed once he felt her leaning against him. Despite the situation, Joel enjoyed their embrace and he tightened his arms around her, pulling her closer. They stood like that for a few minutes, feeling his shirt become slightly wet due to the stain of her tears.

She pulled away, wiping her eyes from the fallen tears. She didn’t look up at him yet. Joel bit his lip and set the flowers aside.

“I’m sorry,” Joel repeated. “For what happened the other night. It wasn’t any of my business and–”

“I’m pregnant.”

---

Part 7.

Taglist (let me know if you want to be tagged!): @kaitebugg03, @a-girl-interupted, @igotbasicdrag, @darkshadow6200, @fandomoniumflurry, @xhannahbananax03, @quinnverses

66 notes · View notes

integra1127 · 1 year

Text

I posted 820 times in 2022

That's 478 more posts than 2021!

21 posts created (3%)

799 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@maritamorgado

@neganghostwriter

@integra1127grimmreaper

@hswrites

@londoncapsule

I tagged 98 of my posts in 2022

#jeffrey dean morgan - 79 posts

#jdm - 58 posts

#the walking dead - 40 posts

#negan - 38 posts

#negan x reader - 33 posts

#twd negan - 32 posts

#negan x y/n - 31 posts

#twdfanfic - 30 posts

#twdlovestory - 28 posts

#coach-negan - 10 posts

Longest Tag: 82 characters

#my cousin literally says i'm the female roshi when it comes to jeffrey dean morgan

My Top Posts in 2022:

See the full post

24 notes - Posted November 21, 2022

77 notes - Posted November 21, 2022

See the full post

94 notes - Posted March 4, 2022

Just gonna leave this here... 😳🥵🥵

175 notes - Posted March 7, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

See the full post

827 notes - Posted March 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

4 notes · View notes

murphslass · 3 years

Text

Nervous Much?

Pt.2 >> Pt.3 >>> Pt.4

Warnings: teasing, flirting, jealousy, fluff, plus sized!reader, slight angst

GIF Creds: @londoncapsule

Being someone on the heavier side always made you feel different. Either all eyes were on you or not even in your direction, especially when it came to men. You had been craving some sort of attention from guys but no one ever gave you time. Except weirdos who were more interested in you as an experience or just a chubby chaser. It was seriously so degrading and annoying.

You currently worked at a bar serving drinks and had a massive crush on the bartender Negan. He was gorgeous and such a charmer. He put the flirt mode on everytime he saw you or any other woman. So you always never took his words seriously whenever he would sweet talk you.

Saturday night was really busy like always, drunk frat boys and annoying girls all thirsty. These nights tired you out the most when going back and forth from the bar to tables. Drinks were super heavy and orders were growing complicated. Your break couldn’t come any sooner as one of the bartenders told you it was time. You silently thanked goodness as you placed your tray down. Going towards the back of the bar you stood outside and cursed under your breath.

“Fuck me…”

“Well don’t mind if I do sweet lips.”

You jumped at the voice and saw Negan smoking on the bench. You felt yourself getting flustered at his comment but remained calm on the outside.

“Sorry, didn’t know anyone else was out here.”

“Don’t apologize. I could use a beautiful gal’s company.”

You let out a giggle as moves to make room on the bench for you. Your feet felt instant relief as you sat down after hours of serving.

“Damn babygirl, you seem all worn out. They murdering you in there?”

“You have no idea. But I guess you’ll find out once you finish your cigarette.”

He chuckles as he takes a drag. Your eyes couldn’t help but wander to his pursed lips and how they parted to blow out the toxic smoke.

“See something you like babe?”

“Nope.”

You say quickly and turn away from him. Suddenly you felt anxious as Negan moved close and brought his arm to rest behind your shoulders.

“Wow. You must be so fucking on edge. You like me that much that I just get you all flustered in shit. Gotta say that shit is refreshing and adorable!”

He laughed loudly as you fiddled with your tank top and tried to look at his face. But you couldn’t help that remaining in eye contact made you feel tingly. Especially with that smile and it made you want to smile. Slowly your lips curled and he seemed happy with myself.

“Oh shit! There’s that pretty smile I’ve been dying to see. Look at you, such a fucking treat.”

You laugh and feeling more relaxed as he made comments.

“I know you probably gotta go back in soon but before you do could I borrow your phone? I actually lost mine in my truck.”

“Sure. Let me help.”

Negan stood with you and put out the cigarette as you followed him to his car. He unlocked the doors and called himself on your phone. As you tried listening for his phone you saw him pull it out of his pocket.

“Oh silly me. It was on me, but hey look here. I got some cute girl’s phone number now.”

You couldn’t say much as he saved your number and show that he put you in his phone as “Sweetcakes🍑” It made you feel all warm inside and maybe even a but confident. But that could wait as you realize your break was over. Rushing back inside and continuing labor for the drunks, you felt more at ease as Negan began his shift. He would look over towards you with a grin and made drinks.

After a few hours and growing close to closing up you saw a girl desperately flirting with Negan. She was the only few left in the building and it made you feel anger. The way he was looking at her and smiling at her made you feel sad. Was he really just pulling your strings for a quick fuck or was it just being nice. Gradually the last few left except the girl and you had to approach her.

“Excuse me ma’am. But were closed now.”

“I’m not done with my drink yet sweetie.”

“I can see that but it’s late and we all want to go home.”

“Fine then. Meet me outside you handsome devil.”

Your fingers gripped at your tray as you masked the jealousy you felt. She walked with an obvious sway in her hips and turned to wink at Negan.

“You can go Negan. I’ll clean up the bar and close up.”

“What makes you think I wanna leave?”

“Well your dates leaving isn’t she?”

“Oh please. I only flirt whenever I know the tip is gonna be huge. And boy did she tip.”

He said as held up the fifty dollars she left for his service. You still couldn’t shake the bad feeling she brought.

“Oh! I get it now. You’re jealous aren’t you?”

“I am not!”

You say as you wiped off the bar top with a damp rag. He giggled to himself as he dried glasses and watched you closely. The music played low in the background as you finish organizing everything. Negan followed and turned off all the lights, you both met the exit and locked the door. As you stepped out you wanted say something to Negan but that girl was outside waiting for him.

“Hey sexy. Wanna take me home?”

Negan cleary felt uncomfortable as she touched his arm and got a little too close. You were about to walk away before Negan took a hold on your wrist.

“Sorry. But my girlfriend and I are heading home. However, I did appreciate the tip.”

“Are fucking kidding me? You and this fucking whale?”

“Hey now, no need for disrespect missy.”

You felt nervous as he forcefully pulled you by the waist to toward his body.

“Ready to go home baby?”

Before you could answer he brought you into a deep heated kiss. You gasp against his lips and melted into him. Your concentration left as he held you so protectively and carefully. You let out a noise when he pulled away and you saw the girl stomp away. He laughed as walked you to your car and kept his hold on you. The courage you had left as you couldn’t face him after such a kiss.

“So can I expect another kiss?”

“From me?”

“Of course you sugar lips. Besides I hope you didn’t mind me calling mine. But if you like me as you perceive to, I think you’d like to be mine baby.”

You didn’t have much to say as you lean your back against your car with him standing next to you.

“How about this, I take you on a date. Dinner or a movie or whatever you’d like sweetcakes. That’s only if ya want to though.”

“That would be nice. But are you sure you’d want to? I mean look at me.”

“Fuck yes! I’ve been staring at you all night wanting to do all kinds of things, especially things go further than kissing.”

He says as moves hold your hand and look deeply in his eyes. Negan kisses your hand before stepping away but you stop him but grabbing his shirt.

“Wait!”

“Yes honey.”

“Could we maybe kiss again?”

He smirks and gently pins you against your car before kissing you yet again. His lips taking dominance over you so quickly and you submitted under his hold. You stay like this for a few minutes and just enjoy the treatment. You then groan frustrated as your phone rang in your pocket. You pull away and see your roomate calling.

“Yes?”

“You aren’t home yet so I just wanted to check on you.”

“Oh! I’m fine, just taking care of things.”

Your breath hitch as Negan kissed your neck and groped at your ass. You went to end the call fast and tugged at Negan’s hair to stop him.

“I gotta get going.”

“So soon?”

“Yeah I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. Just know I’ll be texting you and most definitely gonna stroke my cock to this very moment.”

You face grew red and yet he laughed at your nervous attitude. His lips kissed your cheek as he pulls away to his vehicle. You couldn’t believe it at first but now it all sank in, you got a boyfriend now.

Part 2 🤭🤭???

JDM TAGLIST:

@ffakc @negans-attagirl @jonasdean02 @eddiesgirl @littlebadgirly @cosmilla @iluvneganandjamie @little-bad-girly @ohyoubetterbejokin @bratty-dolly @jdmsgal

#jeffrey dean morgan #jeffrey dean morgan x reader #fanfic #jeffrey dean morgan x you #jeffreys thirst squad #negan x you #negan x reader #negan #the walking dead negan #negan fanfiction #negan au #twd imagine #twd fanfiction #twd #the walking dead

194 notes · View notes

negansdoll · 4 years

Text

« I won’t let anyone hurt you. »

( Negan x Reader )

Summary : After he found out that one of his ex wives tried to kill you and your babies, Negan decides to avenge you.

Requested by : @isitmine

The door of the doctor’s office suddenly opened as Negan entered.

You turned your head to him as he almost ran to you.

- Y/N... You’re alright ? he worrily asked, as he slowly caressed your stomach.

- I’m alright... you said before placing your hand on his. I... I don’t know about them... you added shedding a tear, bitting your bottom lip.

Negan looked at you with sadness and anger, clenching his jaw.

- Are they alright ?! he asked to the doctor.

- It is hard to say...

Negan sighted, bitting his bottom lip with frustration.

- What happened ?! he asked, turning his head back at you.

- That’s Sarah... She... She said she should be the one who’s pregnant she... she just went mad... She hit me and kicked me in the stomach... She was about to stab me when Dwight arrived to stop her... you said with a trembling voice.

Negan clenched his fists, heavily sighting.

- I thought... I thought she was gonna kill them... you cried before Negan took you in his arms to hold you tight.

- It’s okay now baby... he whispered. I’m here and I swear she won’t touch you ever again.

You looked up to him before he kissed you.

- Take care of her, he then said to the doctor before he left the office, slamming the door behind him.

Negan walked through the dark corridors, a burning rage running through his veins. Since he lost his wife, Lucille, you were the only person he cared about. You were only 23 when you arrived at the Sanctuary. Negan instantly fell in love with you but he wasn’t ready to leave his wives just for you... Well that’s what he always told you but a year after, he finally left them all, and you started a relationship together.

You used to be afraid of him but you discovered a new Negan... A Negan who was absolutely charming. A Negan who had disappeared when he lost Lucille... This Negan was back for you.

And here you were, pregnant, you were expecting twins, which was driving Sarah, one of Negan’s ex wives crazy. That’s why she tried to kill you and your babies. What Negan couldn’t let unpunished.

When he arrived in front of his office, he found Dwight, waiting for him.

- She’s inside, he said. She was about to kill Y/N.

Negan put his hand on his shoulder.

- I’ll never thank you enough for this.

Dwight nodded before opening the door.

Negan entered and closed the door with his foot before walking to Sarah who was sitting at the large table.

- Negan, she started, standing up.

Negan stopped walking in front of her, clenching his jaw, trying to control himself.

- I’m... I’m sorry... I don’t know why I... she said before looking down, sighting. I did this because I love you... I want us to be together again... We were so happy before she arrived...

Negan stayed quiet for a moment. Looking at her with deep darkness in his eyes.

- So you tried to kill my wife because you love me ?

Sarah looked up to him.

- I can’t stop thinking about you. I want us to be together again. And unlike her, I’d let you have other wives.

Sarah stepped towards him as Negan felt anger growing up inside him.

She suddenly pressed her lips against Negan’s ones before he grabbed her by the neck.

He tightened his hand around the throat of Sarah who opened wide her eyes. Negan slowly started to walk as Sarah’s feet left the floor.

- You fucking whore seriously think I ever loved you ?! You were only good to get on your knees when I asked you to, he said, clenching his jaw. You almost killed Y/N and my children and you dare telling me all of this ?!

He stopped walking in front of the window.

- You fuckin whore ! he shouted before throwing her through the window.

Sarah yelled as she was falling before she reached the floor, landing in the middle of walkers’s enclosure.

Negan watched her getting eaten by them with a smirk.

She tried to kill you and your babies. She got what she deserved.

You turned your head when Negan walked in the office.

- What have you done ? you asked him, frowning.

- I made sure she wasn’t gonna hurt you again.

You looked at him sitting next to you before he slowly placed his hands on your stomach.

He leant towards it before kissing your skin, making you slowly smiled.

- I won’t let anyone hurt you, he said looking up to you before kissing your lips. You or them.

Hope you liked it ✨

GIFS CREDIT : @neganuniverse @londoncapsule

33 notes · View notes

collette04 · 4 years

Text

TV Tag

I was tagged by @letsby to list five shows that make me happy then tag 10 people. Thanks Huni 💋

1. Ab fab

2. Only fools and horses

3. Thunder Cats

4. Call the midwife

5. The royal family

Tagging: @lukeevansandjdmobession @a-distantdreamer @bamby0304 @daisysouthmoore @mdemontespan1667 @flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash @mic-sunderland @hughxjackman @londoncapsule @lucifers-trash-stash

4 notes · View notes

obscure-imagines · 5 years

Photo

his eyes opened when he heard your voice and he stifled a laugh that turned into a groan, “well shit.” he croaked, “if i had known my nurse would look like you i would have-”

“stop talking.” you stated, checking his bandages.

he grinned, “got a mouth on you huh?”

“you’re obviously hurting yourself with every word. it’s my job to tell you not to purposefully injure yourself.” you sighed, “look, when you’re healed, you can flirt with me as much as you want.”

****** gif credit @londoncapsule thank you to this gif maker for giving me permission to use their gifs! i’m sure we can all agree Negan is absolute bae and these gifs are giving me life (since the new season isnt, please give me more Negan i am dying)

#negan twd #negan #twd negan #negan twd imagine #twd negan imagine #twd #twd imagine #the walking dead imagine #the walking dead #imagine #obscure-imagines #negan the walking dead #negan the walking dead imagine #the walking dead negan #the walking dead negan imagine #walking dead negan #walking dead negan imagine #waking dead negan #jeffery dean morgan

459 notes · View notes

jdmorganz · 5 months

Text

BEFORE AND AFTER COLORING CHALLENGE

I was tagged by the amazing @jackharkness to do this challenge.

These are ones that I saved previously on my computer from the past with the original on the right and the after coloring on the left. I realize I'm kind backwards with that, but it is what it is. The Walking Dead was always so damn dark that I had to work miracles with that show. This is why I always get so sensitive about people who blow off gif makers. You don't always realize how much work someone puts into their gifs to correct the coloring of some scenes. These are obviously some of my older gif-sets but I think they still display some of my bigger color changes to gif sets.

Tagging: @londoncapsule @hellboys @trashcora @tomshiddles @tomcriuse @mcbride (or anyone really anyone can do it if you want to)

#gif making #coloring #before and after #tag game #gif challenge #tlou #twd #jdm #pedro

74 notes · View notes

londoncapsule · 27 days

Text

JEFFREY DEAN MORGAN and NORMAN REEDUS Ride with Norman Reedus S03E01

256 notes · View notes

naughtyneganjdm · 1 year

Text

Mine - Chapter 6

Summary: Joel starts getting closer to being the man that Y/N has always wanted him to be. Ellie and Joel have a play date with Negan and Morgan.

Characters: Joel Miller (TLOU), Negan (TWD), the reader (OC, third person), Ellie Williams (TLOU), etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45115177/chapters/114711325

Warnings: Swearing, some heavy touching, etc.

Notes: Sorry I didn't have this up earlier. I slept in a little too long. Thank you to anyone who reads this. I appreciate you. This is kind of a calm before the storm of sorts. But, it’s developing relationships and that’s what counts. Gif Credits: @a7estrellas & @londoncapsule

Waking up hadn’t been so hard lately. The only problem was actually getting up because Y/N enjoyed the mornings now. With Joel now taking a conscious effort to be better in the relationship, she would often wake up with Joel’s arm draped over her waist. Just having the warmth of Joel close to her made her feel better overall. It felt like he actually cared about her and wanted to be near her. When he used to sleep on his own end of the bed and barely touch her, she felt incredibly lonely and sad. Now it actually felt like she was part of a relationship with him.

Feeling Joel shift behind her in his sleep, she couldn’t help but smile when Joel moved in closer behind her. Reaching down, she hooked her fingers loosely with his and found herself cuddling back closer into Joel. It wasn’t exactly the perfect cuddle yet with Joel, but at least now she felt like she was his. With his arm draped over her, she felt safe and protected. Like he was making it known that she belonged to him and it made her feel wanted by him for the first time in a long time. It was a lot to work himself up to this, so she hoped within time Joel would be willing to cuddle completely.

The change in Joel recently was quite significant. Especially in the last couple of weeks. Joel had started to do small gestures that she found exceedingly romantic. He’d leave little notes for her all over the house that honestly brightened her day more than she could ever imagine. Finding a note from Joel hidden somewhere that she would eventually find made her heart feel full. He’d also ask to take random walks with her around town and he continued to try the whole hand holding thing. Even though there was tension, he was getting better every day with it. The other day he set up a cute little picnic in a beautiful part of town right as the sun was setting and it was all very romantic. Even the occasional shoulder rub from Joel felt more like they were a couple. Their family nights together with Ellie where they watched a movie with her was even nicer. Instead of sitting at separate sides of the couch, Joel would cuddle with her and now they felt like they were actually a couple. Whereas before it felt like they were just two people living in the same house.

Of course, there was still one thing she never got from him. And that was an I love you. At this point, she just assumed that would be something that she would never get from him. But at least he was trying very hard in certain areas and that’s all that mattered.

With a frown, she felt Joel stretch out behind her and roll over onto his side making her realize that it would be perfectly fine to get up now considering that she could probably stand to make some breakfast for the two of them for their day.

Carefully getting up from the bed, she made sure to move quietly enough through the room in attempts to not wake Joel up. He had been working so hard at the plant that she didn’t want to wake him up before he had to. Getting sleep was rare for him lately so she wanted him to get his rest in. A lot of nights he was sore from working so hard and she felt bad that he had to carry the weight of that accident that happened on his shoulders. Especially in a day in age like this.

Not bothering to get dressed into her regular clothes, she just stayed in her pajamas as she made her way down to the kitchen to make them breakfast. When she hit the entrance to the kitchen, she couldn’t help but smile when she saw a small bouquet of flowers sitting on the counter. Feeling her heart skip a beat, she noticed that they were already in a vase and a letter was folded in half while sitting in front of the flowers. Moving forward she reached for the letter and opened it feeling a sense of happiness flooding her veins.

These flowers aren’t half as pretty as you are, but I hope they make you smile.

Closing up the note, she set it down and gazed over the flowers. When they went to bed last night, this wasn’t here. So that meant that Joel had snuck downstairs during the night to put these here for her and that made her happier than she could have ever imagined.

A gasp fell from her throat when she felt arms wrapping around her from behind and it made her smile when she realized it was Joel. He nuzzled his nose against the side of her neck before depositing a kiss there, “Good morning beautiful.”

Leaning back into his arms, she let out a pleased sound when he continued to pepper kisses over the side of her neck. With a smile, Joel looked to the flowers and hummed, “Who left the flowers for you? Was it a secret admirer? Should I be jealous?”

“Oh, you should be so incredibly jealous,” she turned in Joel’s arms seeing that he was smiling while staring out at her. Closing her eyes, she felt him cupping her face in his palms and the rough pads of his thumbs caressed over her cheeks. Turning toward one of his hands, she placed a kiss at the center of his palm before smiling. “I’m having a love affair with an incredibly good-looking older man. He has these big brown eyes and a smile that can make my whole day. He’s been incredibly romantic lately.”

“Sounds like solid competition,” Joel chuckled under his breath, his nose wrinkling and his eyebrows arching up when he found himself amused with her response. “I can’t compete with that.”

“You can’t,” she agreed with him making him bite down on his bottom lip and nod before leaning forward to press his forehead against hers. “I don’t know what changed in you Joel but thank you so much.”

“You don’t have to thank me for the things I should have been doing all along,” Joel hushed her, dragging his thumb out over her bottom lip before pressing a faint, quick kiss over her lips. “I’m sorry it took me so long to start doing them.”

“I’m just happy you are doing them. I know it takes a lot for you to do this and it means a lot to me. You have no idea,” she reached up to place her hand over Joel’s from where it was resting against the side of her face. Stroking her fingers over the back of his hand, she saw his lips part and he shook his head.

“I have an idea how it makes you feel. I can see it in your face. You’re happy,” Joel responded knowing that the way she was now was so much better than how she used to be. In the past, it was visible that she was sad and lonely. But she loved him enough to keep going and did everything she could to make him happy. Now, she smiled and there was a warmth radiating from her every day just from him doing the simplest of gestures. “Seeing you this way makes me feel better about things. I know I was making you miserable before and to know that you feel so much better is what makes me want to keep doing this.”

“I love you,” she reached out to brush her fingers through Joel’s hair and he gave her a weak smile. There was something that changed in his eyes and she knew that was the one thing that made him uncomfortable. “I’m sorry that I say it, but I do love you. So I’m going to say it. I know you…you don’t feel like that and that’s okay. I’ve accepted that, but I’m going to say it regardless.”

“I like hearing you say it. I’m not upset with that,” Joel whispered, his brown eyes lifting up to stare out at her and he cleared his throat uneasily. “I just feel bad that I haven’t gotten comfortable enough to say it for you yet. I promise, I’m working up to it. Okay?”

“Okay,” she nodded not wanting to find herself hopeful over that. She never even thought she would get something like this, so she didn’t want to push him too far because she was content with all of this. Having this side of Joel was honestly good enough for her. Pushing him to say I love you made her fear that he would stop being this version of himself and she didn’t want to lose that. So she just let it go and was happy with what she had. “Do you want some breakfast?”

“I’d really rather just hold you in my arms right now,” Joel answered with a small smirk, stroking his fingers against the warmth of her face and it made her lean further into his touch. “Food can wait.”

“Well, I won’t fight you on that,” she tipped up on her toes to meet Joel in a kiss that lingered and she braced her hands against the center of his broad chest. Caressing down over the lengths of his abdomen, she heard him breathe heavily against her lips and it made her smile. “You are so handsome.”

“Oh, I can picture how good I look with my bedhead,” Joel nipped at her bottom lip when she slid her hand up over the side of his neck and upwards to grasp firmly into his messy salt and pepper colored hair. “So handsome.”

“I love your hair when it’s messy,” she whispered dragging her hands down over his body. When she reached the bottom of his gray t-shirt, she pressed her hands up under the material to caress over his abdomen. There was a softness to the area right below his navel, but she actually liked the small amount of belly that he had. “Truthfully? I don’t think I’d care what you looked like. I’m going to love you regardless.”

“But my looks don’t hurt, right?” Joel breathed against her lips making her laugh when she tugged at the material of his t-shirt. Pulling it up his body, she tossed the material on the floor. With her fingertips tracing over the planes of his torso, he couldn’t help but smile. She paid such close attention to his body and seemed to cherish every inch of him, even his scars.

“Oh, of course not,” she snickered, giving him a wink before tipping forward to press kisses over the center of his chest making Joel chuckle. “I happen to think I’m with one of the most handsome men in the entire town. I bet a lot of ladies are jealous that I’m with you.”

“Men too,” Joel corrected her making her burst out in laughter and he smiled. “I’m just saying, your best friend told me that I was good looking you know. So I’m sure both men and women are jealous of this relationship we have going on.”

“Oh, you’re Mr. Arrogant now, aren’t you?” she pinched at Joel’s nipple making him yelp before letting out a tiny burst of laughter. Smirking, she took her time to kiss over his chest before nipping faintly at the same nipple making him grunt. “Plus, Negan has good taste.”

Joel’s breathing got louder while her kisses continued to travel across his chest. Taking a minute to think about what Joel just said, she paused and heard the disappointment in Joel’s breath when she lifted her head to look up at him with a confused stare, “Negan told you that he was bisexual?”

“He did,” Joel nodded, brushing his fingers up underneath the back of her shirt that she was wearing to caress over the planes of her back. “Well, he told me that he doesn’t like to put a label on things, but he said I’m good looking. It kinda boosted my ego a bit.”

“You two really got close fast, didn’t you?” she inquired surprised to begin with that Joel and Negan had even began a friendship in the first place. How open Negan had already been with Joel about things she knew a lot of people didn’t even know about Negan surprised her. “The stuff you already know about him took me a while to learn.”

“I think I might know more about him than you do in some cases,” Joel conceded knowing that he still hadn’t told Y/N that Morgan was Negan’s daughter. Morgan was one of the biggest mistakes Joel had made in his time being here. There were a lot of ignorant comments Joel had made about Morgan in the past, but at the time he had no idea Morgan was a five-year-old. Now, he was just as curious as Negan how long it would actually take Y/N to realize that Negan had a daughter. Especially since she considered Negan to be her best friend. Truthfully? It made him feel bad that they were so self-focused that they hadn’t known it the whole time.

“Showing off now, aren’t you?” she wrapped her arm around his neck to pull him in closer to her so they could kiss again. Joel hooked his arms under her thighs to pick her up to pull her in against his chest. Carrying her over toward the kitchen table, he set her on top of it before lowering her back against the center of it. Pushing the material of her shirt up toward the center of her chest, he hummed when he saw she wasn’t wearing a bra.

“I just think I know your best friend more than you do,” Joel suggested starting to press kisses over the center of her abdomen, nibbling at her flesh while she stroked her fingers through his hair.

“I get it, you became fast best friends,” she purred with the warmth of Joel’s tongue tracing up and over the lengths of her abdomen. It wasn’t something that she was about to confess to him, but she was jealous over the fact Joel had gotten so close to Negan. Negan was her best friend. Joel was her lover. And now they were spending a whole lot of time together. Time that she hadn’t even spent with Negan in the past. But she assumed it was because they were men and Joel was just more comfortable having another friend that was a guy. She didn’t want to say that though because she thought it would make things weird. She should have been happy that her best friend and her lover got along. “Should I be worried about Negan stealing you away from me anytime soon?”

“Oh hush,” Joel bit at her flesh making her gasp when he snickered knowing that it would leave a mark.

“I’m just saying you seem to be very focused on the fact that he thinks you’re good looking. Maybe the feeling is mutual and the two of you will want to get together,” she joked with Joel making his eyebrows bounce up when he lifted his head up to look at her.

“Oh yeah, I’m definitely going to run away with Negan on you. How did you know?” Joel mocked her with a roll of his eyes making her smirk. Arching his eyebrow, he tipped his head to the side and shook his head. “Are you done now? I mean if you want to keep talking about Negan and not do this whole sex thing, we can do that. If that’s what you would prefer.”

“You’re the one that brought him up first,” she reminded him with a snicker letting out a whimper as Joel’s lips surrounded her breast. With a flicking, circular motion of his tongue over her nipple, Joel heard her cry out and her fingers sank further into his hair. Kissing and suckling at her flesh, Joel kissed across her chest before pampering her other breast with the same motions making her arch her back up toward him. “Joel.”

Curling his arm around her waist he pulled her body closer to his and reached between them to start tugging at the tie in her pajama pants. Flexing his arm around her made her lift her hips up and he smiled when he started kissing down toward her navel again.

“I think this is much better than breakfast, don’t you?” Joel slurred attempting to tug at the material of her pants, but they were having some issues with getting the material down. With a huff, she got into a seated position to try to help him making her shirt cover her body. Trying to work with him, she heard Joel laugh when they were visibly having issues.

The sound of the back door opening was heard making Y/N yelp and pull forward too quickly causing her to fall off the table. Joel huffed seeing her hit the ground hard and he fumbled trying to help her. Lifting his head, he saw that Ellie was making her way into the house.

“Uh, what the hell was that?” Ellie paused when she saw that Joel was attempting to help Y/N after she fell off the table making Ellie anxiously laugh. “Were the two of you having sex?”

“Ellie! No, we weren’t having sex,” Joel shook his head seeing that Y/N was incredibly red while she pulled herself up into a seated position on the floor from being embarrassed. “We were just kissing and you…caught her off guard.”

“You okay down there?” Ellie stepped forward looking over the table to see that Y/N’s face was buried in her hand. “I interrupted pre-sex, didn’t I?”

“No, no. You’re fine,” Y/N answered, lifting her head up to see that Joel was moving around the kitchen to grab his t-shirt that they had deposited at the center of the kitchen to pull it back on.

“I can come back if you want,” Ellie offered making Joel grumble something under his breath.

“The moment is over kiddo” Joel clarified, tugging at the bottom of his t-shirt before reaching down to help pull Y/N up to her feet. “We were going to make some breakfast before we head out. Do you want to help?”

“Should I be afraid to sit at the table?” Ellie gazed it over seeing Joel smirk and shake his head.

“We didn’t do anything Ellie,” Joel explained going over to set up his coffee for the morning. When Ellie sat down at the table, he cleared his throat and shrugged. “At least today we haven’t.”

“Joel!” Ellie pushed away from the table with a disgusted breath making Joel snicker quietly and Y/N moved around the counter to smack at the center of Joel’s chest in a playful manner. It made Joel smirk before he started to gather some things for their breakfast.

“So what are your plans for the day Y/N?” Ellie inquired still staying far away from the table when she got comfortable in the chair that she was in.

“Uh, I don’t know,” Y/N explained while grabbing two mugs for her and Joel to go with their coffee. “I haven’t really planned anything.”

“You should come to Negan’s. He has this really cool mancave in the basement,” Ellie informed Y/N seeing the way that Joel glared back at Ellie who threw her hands up in the air. Multiple times Ellie and Joel had gone over to Negan’s home to hang out, but they hadn’t really brought Y/N with them before. “You’ve never seen it, have you?”

“No, I’ve only really been in Negan’s home twice,” Y/N answered feeling awkward knowing that Joel had been spending more time with Negan than she had lately. It almost felt like Negan was quickly becoming his best friend instead of hers. “What kind of things does he have down there?”

“I don’t know how he managed to do it, but he has a video game system set up. A ping pong table and a pool table,” Ellie threw her hands up in the air making her words very dramatic when she explained things to Y/N. “He must have had some really cool things to be able to make those kind of trades with people. It’s a lot of fun going over to his place. And he has all these comics. It’s just so cool.”

“I’ll have to go one day,” Y/N whispered knowing that she had never been invited to one of their hangouts, but she imagined this was the first friendship that Joel had with anyone in a long time so he wanted his time to be alone with another male. “I’m pretty good at pool when my wrist isn’t sore.”

“You should really hang out with him more,” Joel suggested making Y/N’s eyebrows bounce up and she nodded.

“I spend all of my free time lately with you. I see Negan when we are working at the library together. It’s closed right now so we can actually put it together correctly and give the town something special. So we get our alone time,” Y/N tipped her head to the side when she sighed and thought about her relationship with Joel. Sure, she could have spent her time with Negan during her free time, but she was trying to dedicate it all to Joel. “Plus, I don’t usually have the days off when you all do. I just happen to have today off to relax.”

“Hey Joel! Can I show you something outside really quick?” Ellie pointed toward the back door and Joel nodded following her outside. When the door was closed and they were alone, Ellie threw her hands up in the air. “Why aren’t you inviting her to go with us?”

“Because these are the moments where I get Negan’s advice on what to do with her,” Joel responded with a shake of his head and he sighed loudly. “Plus, she still doesn’t know about Morgan and I think that would be awkward her finding out about her with all of us together.”

“Why aren’t you boys telling her about Morgan?” Ellie snorted making Joel shrug his shoulders.

“It’s not my place,” Joel replied, biting down on his bottom lip when he thought about Negan’s young daughter. “If Negan hasn’t told her, then it’s really not my place to tell her. And she could easily go over his house when she wanted to.”

“Well today is a perfect time,” Ellie grumbled under her breath making Joel frown.

“You’ve seen how happy she is since I’ve started getting Negan’s help with things. I know it doesn’t make sense, but the time I spend with him makes me better. It makes her happier,” Joel pointed back toward the home feeling his chest ache when he thought about things before. “You saw the way she was before I started getting Negan’s help. She was miserable. With him talking things out with me, I reckon it’s the happiest I’ve ever made her.”

“Well at some point you both are going to have to spend time with him because he’s your best friend and hers,” Ellie scoffed folding her arms in front of her chest. “I like going to Negan’s place. He just was her best friend first.”

“And when I’ve got it together, I promise I will make sure that we have a friendship with all of us,” Joel pledged with his hands pressed over his hips. “It’s just I think I’m getting ahold of this whole thing. I’m doing right by her finally and it’s been because of him that I think it’s working itself out.”

“Whatever man. I just think it would be for the best having her come with you,” Ellie shrugged her shoulders dramatically before nodding back to the house. “Let’s go inside so you can get your nasty ass coffee. You’re going to need it.”

----

Giggles filled the air making Joel’s heart fill with warmth while he played ping pong with Negan, Ellie and Morgan. Negan and Joel were on a team while the two girls were together. Obviously, Joel and Negan were letting the girls win and were hamming it up in attempts to entertain the girls. Joel thought it was actually cute because Morgan could barely stand over the table, but she sure was trying her hardest in this game.

With one final hit from Morgan, Negan purposely stumbled over his feet and hit the ground dramatically making the girls laugh out at his antics. Joel feigned being angry by tossing the paddle down on top of the table knowing that they had been being goofy and over the top this whole time, “Dang it. We lost again. Negan, you are awful at this.”

“Daddy,” Morgan managed to set down her paddle and run over to him to try to help him up. With her laughter Joel couldn’t help but smile knowing that he missed that sound. Spending time with Negan and Morgan brought back the good memories that he shared with Sarah. It gave him a sense of inner peace that he didn’t know he needed. Morgan got to her knees and touched Negan’s face who had rolled over onto his back. “I feel like you both are letting us win.”

“We are not,” Joel blurted out placing his hand in over the center of his chest as if offended. “I would never let anyone win. I can’t handle it.”

“I’m just that bad,” Negan muttered to his daughter, snorting when his daughter dropped her head in against the center of his chest to lay in over him. Cuddling her close, Negan peppered kisses against Morgan’s head before smiling brightly. “You and Ellie are just too damn good.”

“Damn straight,” Ellie blurt out, spinning the paddle in her hand before setting it down on the table. She gave Joel a smirk and moved around the table. “We’re just too good for them.”

“Hey, you guys should go play a video game. I think daddy’s ribs and his shoulder have had enough for today,” Negan gave Morgan one final big hug before watching Ellie help Morgan get up from the ground. Tipping his head back, Negan made sure that both girls made it over to the television before he cleared his throat. “Hey Joel...I need help. I overdid it.”

“Oh,” Joel chuckled lowering down to help pick Negan up from the ground. Negan grabbed at his ribs when Joel helped him over to the couch to sit down. Once sitting, Negan adjusted the thick black framed glasses that he had been wearing. “I realize that was a bit extreme for a guy that just recently broke ribs and dislocated his shoulder.”

“Just a bit,” Negan grinned through the pain as he dropped his head back on the couch. Joel took a seat beside him and Negan snickered with his eyes closed. “I am getting fucking old man. Maybe the doctor was right and I should have took more down time.”

“Probably,” Joel acknowledged making Negan huff before lowering his head and reaching with his other hand to caress over his shoulder. “Maybe you’ll need a hot shower at the end of the day. It helps to loosen things up. Well, as hot as you can make it.”

“Good idea,” Negan agreed, making sure that the girls were distracted. Their laughter surrounded them while they played the game that they had in. Letting out a long sigh, Negan’s eyebrow arched and he gazed over at Joel. “So, how did the flowers go?”

“Great!” Joel almost exclaimed sitting forward on the couch. “Your ideas have been phenomenal. Leaving the notes around the house and bringing those flowers out while she was sleeping were probably the best. She was so happy when she saw them this morning. I reckon the happiest she has been in a very long time.”

“Glad to hear that,” Negan gave a weak smile before turning to face Joel better from where he was seated.

“All of your ideas have landed perfectly,” Joel confessed knowing that a lot of what he had done for Y/N had all been Negan’s suggestions that had been given to him. Joel reached up to stroke his fingers at the back of his neck. “Even the calling her beautiful thing. It just makes her light up.”

“Women like to know that they are special. Well, everyone. Not just women,” Negan corrected his error before tipping his head back and forth. “Plus, she is beautiful. She needs to hear it every day. It’s just little signs of affection sometimes that changes the world for someone. I told you it wasn’t that hard. Hugging, hand holding, writing letters, kisses, flowers…it’s all about making her feel special. And to hear that it is working, that’s all that matters to me.”

“Thanks a lot for all of this. I don’t know if I could have done these things on my own,” Joel admitted hating that he needed the help of Negan just to make Y/N happy, but he was glad and thankful that he did have him. “In the past, I could see she was miserable man and it killed me. I didn’t know how to make it better, but doing all of this, it just made me realize that it was worth putting in the effort.”

“You look happier too. Not so miserable and grumpy. I can’t call you Mr. Grumpy Pants right now,” Negan joked making Joel groan at the nickname Negan had given him in the past. It was something Joel hated and Negan knew that. “I think that’s the good thing. Her being happy makes you happy.”

“I uh, I won’t lie to you either…” Joel began, his eyes drifting over to Ellie and Morgan while they played together. He was proud of Ellie for being able to play with Negan’s much younger daughter and treat her so well. “Being here with Morgan and Ellie has really brought back good memories for me. Your daughter reminds me so much of Sarah when she was younger and it’s just been very enjoyable getting to spend this time with you and her.”

“Well, you’re welcome here anytime. Morgan and I both enjoy your company,” Negan assured Joel, reaching out to pat him on the knee before getting more comfortable on the couch again. “It’s nice to see you in a better mood. Not always looking like you want to kill someone.”

“I wasn’t that bad,” Joel reasoned with Negan making Negan smile and shrug his shoulders. “Come on.”

“I mean a lot of people were fucking scared of you Joel,” Negan informed Joel with an entertained sound when Joel rolled his eyes. “You have this expression on your face that tells people when you are coming to move over toward the other end of the street. I’m just annoying so I pushed my boundaries and continued to stick around until you started to like me.”

“I don’t like you,” Joel responded making Negan’s nose wrinkle and he nodded. “I just put up with you.”

“Ah, right. My mistake,” Negan bobbed his head back and forth hearing the girls giggling and he looked back to gaze over at them. “So what are your plans for Y/N’s birthday? Do you have them all done and ready?”

“Almost,” Joel huffed making Negan look back and arch his eyebrows. “I’ve had this idea for a while. I’ve been working on it for a long time. I just didn’t know if I would have the emotions to really do it, but now after all of this I think I do.”

“So you don’t need any help or any ideas?” Negan seemed impressed that Joel had something planned out all on his own. “You sure? You don’t want to tell me what it is?”

“No,” Joel smirked knowing that it would eat Negan up inside that he didn’t know. “I just have to put finishing details into it. I have a while.”

“Not that long,” Negan pointed out, tipping his head to the side. “You better finish whatever you have planned because it’s coming up fast.”

“I will,” Joel claimed, a tiny smirk tugging at his features. “And hopefully you will hear about it through her. Not me.”

“Ah, so you think it is that good, huh?” Negan pushed, his eyebrows bouncing up when Joel thought about it for a minute before bobbing his head. “We’ll see boss.”

“Hey daddy!” Morgan called out setting the video game controller down on the ground after they had paused their game.

“Yes, baby girl?” Negan gave his daughter his attention and it made Joel swallow down hard. Knowing that he used to call his daughter that made Joel almost envious of what Negan had.

“Where did you put that drawing I did?” Morgan pulled herself up to her feet and moved across the room to Negan to place her hands on his knees. “The one that is supposed to be for them.”

“Oh, that one is on the fridge so we didn’t forget about it. Let’s go grab it,” Negan suggested, reaching down to pick Morgan up with his good arm as they headed for the stairs. “We’ll be right back.”

“Hey Joel,” Ellie got Joel’s attention from where she was still seated on the ground by the television. “I heard Negan mention Y/N’s birthday. When is it? I already finished some drawings for her and I made her this bracelet. They aren’t special, but…”

“No, they will be incredibly special for her,” Joel declared with a firm shake of his head. “I know her, she’ll love them kiddo. Her birthday is next Saturday. I checked the calendar the other day just to make sure.”

“Got it,” Ellie nodded her head about making Joel smile, glad to see that Ellie appreciated Y/N as much as he did.

When Negan and Morgan returned downstairs, Negan set her down on the ground and Morgan ran across the basement to stand before Joel. There was a shy expression over her features as she held onto a piece of paper that she had.

“Go on, you were so excited to give it to him a few minutes ago,” Negan urged his daughter, taking a seat again beside Joel who seemed uncomfortable not knowing how he should respond. “Give him what you made for him.”

“I drew this for you,” Morgan whispered, holding out the paper for Joel. Reaching out, he grabbed it in his hands and could see the way that Morgan’s dimples sank in and her hazel eyes lowered down to the ground.

“This is for me?” Joel stammered looking to the photo to see what he imagined was meant to be him and Ellie. With a sound of awe, Joel’s dark eyes lifted back up to Morgan and he immediately nodded his head. “This is amazing. Thank you so much Morgan. Ellie and I are going to have to put this up at our home.”

“Oh? Let me see,” Ellie pulled herself up to move across the basement and grab the drawing carefully from Joel’s hands. Ellie made a dramatic face and reached out to hook her arm around Morgan to give her a hug. “This is beautiful Morgan! Thank you! I think you made Joel look better!”

Hearing that made Morgan giggle and even Negan snorted in response when Joel’s eyebrows furrowed out at Ellie who obviously was teasing him. Morgan turned to face them and Joel waved her forward, “Come give me a hug kiddo.”

Stepping forward, Morgan gave Joel a hug and Negan’s hazel eyes were on them like a hawk watching the interaction. It made Negan smile and sigh before the girls went back to their game together after Ellie returned the drawing. Joel set it beside him on the couch and Negan shook his head, “Never in my life previously did I ever see you being the type to give my daughter a hug.”

“Well, it’s nice to know that sometimes you’re wrong,” Joel looked to the drawing that Negan’s daughter had done and it made him swallow down hard. “I’m not as big of an asshole as you think I am. I’m like Uncle Joel to her. I mean that’s what happens when you’re good friends with someone’s father, right?”

“Oh? So now we’re good friends?” Negan teased Joel making Joel roll his eyes again. “I thought you were just putting up with me.”

“You talk too much,” Joel huffed at his newfound friend making Negan nod.

“We know this,” Negan agreed before stretching out to get comfortable again.

“I’m surprised you don’t have more people coming here,” Joel looked around Negan’s basement taking in the bar that he had set up, his ping pong table and the pool table along with the fairy lights Joel was assuming he had put up for Morgan. “I feel like if people knew that you had this down here, they would be here all the time.”

“Your brother comes over sometimes. I think it’s to get a breather away from the dad life,” Negan responded with a nod of his head. “And a few people from the powerplant. But I’m not a big partyer. I like sharing my time with some people. Tommy helped me set all of this up. Actually the pool table was already in here when they gave me this home. Along with the bar. I just did everything else.”

“They gave you the fun stuff,” Joel frowned knowing that the home he got was across from Tommy so it made sense, but it was rather plain.

“They were probably scared of me so they gave me a house where I could do things and the town wouldn’t have to put up with my mouth,” Negan joked with a chuckle looking around the basement. “Morgan likes it though, so that’s a plus.”

“You hang out with my little brother a lot?” Joel searched for answers and Negan shrugged. “Who do you like better?”

“In what way?” Negan turned his head to stare out at Joel who shifted uncomfortably. “You’re asking me if I find your brother attractive, aren’t you?”

“Well, no. I meant as a friend, but…” Joel stammered knowing that Negan found amusement in making Joel uncomfortable. “You do call my brother pretty boy.”

“Because of his hair. Don’t worry Joel, you’re more my type,” Negan assured Joel reaching out to pat him on the chest making Joel grunt. “As far as friends go though, I get along with your brother because we both have young children. He comes to me for help sometimes. You are here much more often now though. You and I have more in common.”

Joel simply nodded and Negan gave a cheesy smile, “Are you going to brag to your brother now because we’re better friends?”

“I don’t brag,” Joel grumbled under his breath with a smirk when Negan laughed in response. “Then again, I do think I know you more than Y/N does. That gives me bragging rights there.”

“Ah, I see. So you’re a shit starter. You’re more like me every day,” Negan responded with a snort but a shrug followed. “Then again, you actually know that my daughter is my daughter. So, there is that.”

“Are you talking about me?” Morgan heard Negan mention his daughter and it made Negan chuckle.

“I’m always talking about you sweetheart,” Negan gave a wink watching Morgan set down the remote and hop up. She ran across the basement to jump into his arms making Negan laugh and hold her close to him. Squeezing her in his arms, Negan peppered her with kisses making her giggles intensify. “Is everyone hungry? I can make all of us some dinner.”

“We can just go to the dining hall,” Joel suggested seeing Ellie hop up from the floor and rub her hands together. Joel stood and set the drawing Morgan had given him on the pool table so he wouldn’t forget it when they came back.

“I can go for some food,” Ellie agreed moving with the rest of them upstairs. They headed out into town to go grab something to eat. During their meal, Joel and Negan just really had the two girls talk about school along with anything they wanted to talk about.

“Daddy, can we have some pie?” Morgan looked up at Negan with her big hazel eyes from where she was seated next to him at the table. It made Negan smirk and gaze up at Joel knowing that of the four of them, he would really be the one that would give them the okay.

“Of course you can,” Joel blurt out making Morgan smile. “How about you and I go up there? We’ll grab a piece for all of us.”

“Okay,” Morgan excitedly hopped out of her seat and waited for Joel to make his way around the table. When Joel moved in beside her, Morgan held her hand out to him and Joel looked back at Negan for confirmation that it was okay. Giving Joel a nod, he watched with a smirk when Joel took her hand in his and led her to the area they kept the desserts.

“I never thought I’d see the day where the two of you were close,” Ellie muttered from across the table shoving another forkful of food into her mouth.

“It’s Morgan,” Negan commented with a shrug of his shoulders. “You’ve seen Sarah. They look very similar. I think being with you and Morgan makes Joel happy. It’s the happiest I see him. That guy loves you kid.”

“Yeah,” Ellie looked to Joel and Morgan again.

“I think you should tell him,” Negan mentioned in a quiet voice making Ellie swallow down hard and gaze over at him. “I told him that first day we started spending time together that I was bisexual and he was very open to the idea of it. I don’t think he’s going to be upset if you tell him that you’re attracted to other girls Ellie. Having the support of your father figure might be nice to have. I think he’ll happily accept you the way you are.”

“I don’t know,” Ellie looked down toward her plate and poked at her food. “He’s from Texas Negan. It’s one thing being okay with some dude you see every so often, but I don’t know how he would feel about me since I am like a daughter to him.”

“I think Joel is a lot more accepting than you think he is. He’s just got a rough exterior,” Negan suggested, pushing at the remainder of his food as well. “You told me. I think you should tell him.”

“Well, you’re different,” Ellie grimaced, gazing back over her shoulder again at Joel and Morgan while they talked. She assumed they were weighing out the options of what dessert they actually wanted since each person was allowed only one. “I needed someone to talk to.”

“I think Y/N and Joel are perfectly capable of being people you can talk to,” Negan maintained, his eyebrows bouncing up when Ellie swallowed down hard. “That guy loves you. It would never change the way he looks at you. I think you will feel better if you tell him.”

“We’ll see,” Ellie went silent when Joel and Morgan returned with four small plates with cuts of pie for all of them. Straightening up her posture, she looked to the pie that Joel had set in front of her and weakly smiled. “Thank you.”

“No problem kiddo,” Joel finished handing out the plates while Negan helped Morgan get back into her chair.

“Were you good for Joel?” Negan nuzzled his nose in against the side of Morgan’s face making her laugh and reach out to push her hand playfully into her father’s face. It made Negan snort out and smile brightly.

“Of course,” Morgan cuddled her head in against the center of Negan’s chest making Negan wrap her up in his arms. “I’m a good kid.”

“I know you are, I’m a very lucky man,” Negan admitted caressing his palm in over the center of Morgan’s back. The way that Joel stared out at them made Negan’s heart full. It was clear that Joel liked being around him for a certain reason, but he couldn’t blame Joel for that.

After they finished their meal, they headed back to Negan’s home and Ellie walked hand-in-hand with Morgan while they talked about one of their comics that they liked together. “I’m super thankful for Ellie. She’s like a big sister to Morgan. It’s been a pleasure getting to have her be around. She’s a cool fucking kid. You’ve done good with her.”

“That’s all her, I won’t take credit for that,” Joel threw his hands up in the air knowing that Ellie was good all on her own. “I wish I could take credit, but I can’t. She’s a good kid. She would have been with or without me.”

“I think you’re a good influence on her,” Negan nudged Joel with his shoulder making Joel smirk before nodding his head.

Since the sun was starting to go down, they all took some time to play catch together in the back yard of Negan’s home. Today wasn’t just a quick visit, Ellie and Joel had been at Negan’s home from afternoon until night. It was one of their longer visits, but they didn’t seem to complain and enjoyed themselves.

“It’s almost time for bed baby girl,” Negan informed Morgan seeing the dramatic frown that she gave him. “Listen, I would let you stay up for as long as you want, but I guarantee in the next hour you’re going to be exhausted.”

“Just for a little while longer, please?” Morgan begged making Negan sigh before nodding. It was hard to tell his daughter no. So they sat around talking for a while longer until Morgan had fully fallen asleep in Negan’s arms. She had crashed fast, but Negan wasn’t going to complain having her in his arms like this.

“Well, you called that one,” Ellie smirked and stood up from where she was seated, pointing in the direction of their home. “I’m exhausted myself. So I’m going to head back to the house. I had a great time hanging out with the two of you. Let Morgan know that it was fun and I’ll see her tomorrow. We’ll have to do this again soon. Maybe invite Y/N next time too.”

“Sure thing kiddo,” Negan held up his fist making Ellie smirk when she moved out to Negan to knuckle bump him.

“You coming?” Ellie waited for Joel who looked over at Negan and Morgan before swallowing down.

“I left Morgan’s drawing in the basement so I’m going to take a few more minutes. When I get home, I will come and check in on you to let you know I’m home,” Joel answered and Ellie gave him a quick hug before heading out.

“I’ve gotta carry this one up to her room, but you can follow me,” Negan offered carrying Morgan into the house while she was out cold in his arms. Negan was carrying her up the stairs and Joel debated whether or not he would wait for Negan, but ultimately, he followed them waiting at the door to her bedroom while Negan laid her down in bed. Negan carefully pulled off her shoes before reaching for the blankets to pull them in over her. The movement made Morgan’s eyes flutter to an open and she let out an exhausted yawn.

“What happened?” Morgan reached up to rub at her eyes, yawning when Negan smiled down at her.

“You fell asleep in my arms,” Negan informed her with a wink making Morgan pout. “It’s okay to be tired. Ellie wanted me to tell you that she had a good time and she will see you tomorrow. She got tired too. So it’s okay to fall asleep.”

“Okay,” her tiny voice whispered looking to her door to see that Joel was standing there watching them. Lifting her hand she waved at Joel who took a minute before he waved back. “Goodnight Joel.”

“Goodnight Morgan,” Joel offered up a faint smile taking his time to watch Negan with her. While it made him happy to see Morgan, it also hurt him. At this point, if Sarah was still alive, he could be watching her with her own child. It was a life that he was cheated out of and it made his heart ache. Negan gave Morgan a final kiss before turning her light off. When Negan came out of the room and closed the door, Joel reached back to caress over the back of his own neck. “You think I can get a drink from you?”

“Sure,” Negan waved Joel to follow him downstairs toward the basement. Joel took a seat at the bar while Negan poured him a glass of whiskey and he sighed. “What’s wrong boss?”

“I was just thinking about life. Right now Sarah would be thirty-four if she wasn’t taken away from me,” Joel informed Negan with a loud swallow. “Watching you and Morgan together makes me think about what it would have been like if she did get to grow up. If she did get to have a family of her own. There is so much that I wished for her and it just…it never stops hurting.”

“I can’t imagine that it does,” Negan slid the glass out to Joel, bracing his weight on the bar top. “I’m sorry it happened Joel.”

“Me too,” Joel quickly swallowed down the drink that Negan had gotten him. With a frown, Negan handed the bottle out to Joel allowing him to have at it with how much he wanted. “You sure?”

“Have at it. Since I had those painkillers that were super strong, I really haven’t taken a drink myself,” Negan headed around the bar to head over to the couch to sit down. Grabbing the bottle, Joel followed Negan over to the couch to sit down. “Now, I only take the weaker stuff as needed, but I don’t know. I guess I kind of got used to not drinking it.”

“You’re stronger than me,” Joel huffed, bringing the bottle to his lips to take a long swallow of it. “Before I found Ellie, I did whatever I could to sleep. To try and forget the pain. I took pills, I drank…I did whatever it took. I’m probably still lucky I’m here.”

Negan was quiet, listening to Joel while he spoke. Joel took another long sip from the bottle of whiskey before holding it out for Negan. With a huff, Negan reached for the neck of the bottle and took a drink from it as well before handing it back to Joel, “How do you still smile through things Negan? After all you lost?”

“It’s for Morgan. You have to understand, Lucille was the love of my life,” Negan recalled back on his past thinking back to his late wife. “She knew all of me and she still loved me. I thought everything ended the day that I lost her. Through our suffering, sometimes we are given tiny blessings in this life. Morgan is mine and Ellie is yours. We’ve lost what we lost, but right now we have what we do. It’s what we do with our time left that really defines us. You know?”

“I suppose so,” Joel breathed out heavily, clinging tightly to the neck of the bottle. “Ellie really is a miracle for me. She brought me back to Earth. Without her, God, I don’t know where I would be right now.”

“She’s a blessing,” Negan gave Joel a wink and closed his eyes feeling his own fatigue coming over him. “We’re both blessed to have two amazing kids in our lives.”

“True,” Joel agreed with Negan, taking another long sip of the burning alcohol making him hiss when he pulled the bottle away from his lips. “Do you ever think you will want to be with someone else? Find love again?”

“I’m not a good guy Joel. I don’t deserve something like that,” Negan slid down a bit, getting comfortable on the couch.

“You’re telling me that there isn’t anyone that you have found yourself wanting to be with since you lost Annie?” Joel reasoned with Negan hearing him sigh loudly and frown before looking straight forward away from Joel.

“I have loved someone, sure,” Negan answered feeling his throat go dry when he thought about Y/N and the feelings he forced himself to attempt to stop having. “But they deserve better than me. I’m just a jinx when it comes to things. Sure, I love them, but they deserve better than me.”

“So you do like someone here?” Joel inquired with an arch of his brow making Negan huff out loud and grumble something under his breath. “Come on, tell me who it is and maybe we can get you a date with her. Or him…”

“No,” Negan shook his head, his eyebrows tensing when he looked back to Joel. “I need to be alone. Focus on Morgan.”

“Okay, well then tell me who you think is good looking here. Maybe we can get you laid,” Joel joked elbowing Negan with his arm. It made Negan wince when it was the side that Negan injured and Joel immediately sat forward placing his hand in over where he hit. “Shit man, I’m so sorry.”

“You’re fine, don’t worry,” Negan laughed waving his hand in the air trying to get Joel to stop worrying. “I’m fine. Really though, we don’t have to worry about getting me laid.”

“Five years is a long time,” Joel reminded Negan hearing Negan snort when Negan tried getting relaxed again on the couch. “It wouldn’t hurt to find someone that you like.”

“I’m good. For real. You don’t have to tell me five years is a long time, I’m very fucking aware. But it’s not the longest I’ve waited. So I’ll be fine,” Negan assured Joel with a grumble. “You know, sometimes with celibacy you think the clearest you have in a very long time.”

“There isn’t anyone that you’re attracted to?” Joel nudged Negan’s arm that was resting on the couch that was beside him this time making sure to be careful with the way he did it.

“Sure there is, but it doesn’t mean I should have sex with them,” Negan smirked, his head tipping to the side to gaze over at Joel. “Trust me.”

“Don’t you want to do something for yourself?” Joel pushed further, setting the bottle of alcohol between his thighs after he stretched out like Negan was beside him, resting his arm beside Negan’s.

“I do, but I don’t need that,” Negan snorted, shaking his head. “Trust me, the two people I find the most attractive here are already together.”

“Maria and Tommy?” Joel joked seeing the way that Negan gazed over at him, his eyebrow arching making Joel snort. “No?”

“I’m the most attracted to you and Y/N, but that happens when you’re friends with someone. You get comfortable with them,” Negan pointed out hearing Joel let out a long exhale and he shook his head letting out a tight laugh. “So unless you and Y/N are looking for a third wheel, I’m plenty fine on my own. You can barely handle Y/N on your own, the last thing you need is a third person in your relationship.”

“Oh,” Joel noticed the way that Negan shook his head and he felt a lump growing in his throat. “You’re really attracted to us?”

“Why would I lie to you?” Negan grumbled, his eyebrow arching up, his eyes lowering when he realized that Joel’s fingers were touching his. Negan’s eyes lifted to stare out at Joel and it made Joel sit forward grabbing a hold of the bottle of alcohol that was there. “Sorry to make things awkward.”

“No, no…” Joel immediately shook his head and cleared his throat standing up from the couch to go set the bottle of alcohol back on the bar. “You didn’t make things awkward. I did by pushing things. You finding us attractive isn’t awkward though. It’s flattering. I told you that before.”

“You’re freaking out,” Negan stammered from where he was sitting on the couch still. “You’re not suddenly gay because your fingers grazed mine Joel.”

“I didn’t say that,” Joel shook his head, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat when Negan leaned forward on the couch. “I just realize that it is late and…”

“Sit down,” Negan demanded making Joel’s jaw flex before he took a seat again sitting straight forward next to Negan. “Don’t make our friendship uncomfortable just because I told you I was bisexual. You’re not going to suddenly turn bisexual just because you are hanging out with me. You’re comfortable with me because I’m another man and I’m a father. You find comfort in that. And it’s okay. But I promise you I will not jump you and I will not jump your girlfriend just because I find the two of you attractive. I’ve gone without for five years and I’m perfectly fine. So don’t freak out.”

“I know all of that, I’m not a bigot Negan,” Joel grumbled under his breath making Negan’s eyebrows bounce and he nodded. “Truthfully Negan? I’m not uncomfortable about you being attracted to me. Sex is sex. I don’t judge about that stuff. It doesn’t bother me. At all. People have every right to be attracted to anyone they want to be and love who they want. Plus, I understand in this world that sometimes who you are attracted to, it’s not always the opposite sex. Sometimes you have to get comfort where you can within reason. But I support that whole love is love and people should be happy thing. There is so much going on in the world right now that I would be an asshole to be discomforted because another man found me attractive. Hating someone for who they like or love is stupid.”

“Are you…” Negan thought about the rant that Joel just had before going quiet knowing that he didn’t want to push things.

“What makes me nervous with you is how quickly I’ve been honest with you about things. How fast we got along. I don’t get it,” Joel admitted with a low rumble of a growl, his brow line creasing. “You were Y/N’s best friend first.”

“You want someone to talk to. Everyone does,” Negan pointed out with a simple shake of his head. “It’s okay. I’m another man. I have a child. I went through similar things. It’s okay. I’m not running to Y/N to tell her things. I’m not going to tell anyone about the stuff we talk about.”

“I get that, but you have to understand my relationship is working now because you have been helping me. If she finds out or if something goes wrong between the two of us,” Joel pointed back and forth between him and Negan.

“It won’t. I promise,” Negan assured Joel, pressing his hand in over the center of his chest. “You have my word. She won’t know that I’ve been helping you and I promise that we won’t stop being friends so I can continue to help you if you need it.”

“Yeah,” Joel swallowed down hard in a tense moment. “I just don’t want things to go back to the way they used to be with Y/N.”

“And I understand that,” Negan declared holding his hand up in the air, waving it about. “I’m telling you, nothing on my end is going to make things change. It’s nice having two friends here as opposed to just one. Well, one friend and a guy who just puts up with me.”

“Well I do appreciate everything you’ve done for me. I reckon I owe you one,” Joel sighed loudly, sitting up from the couch again. “I really should get going though. I have to head back to be with Y/N. I’ve been gone all day.”

“I’ll lead you out,” Negan followed Joel up the stairs after Joel got the drawing that Morgan had made and pulled the door open for Joel to step out onto the front porch. Joel stopped, shoving one of his hands into his pocket while the other held the drawing and Joel turned on his heel to look back at Negan. “I’ll see you later.”

“You’re not as bad of a guy as you think you are,” Joel finally muttered making Negan’s jaw clench and he looked down toward the ground. “I did a lot of bad things too Negan. Things that make it hard to sleep at night. But if I deserve a second chance, maybe you do too.”

“Maybe,” Negan shrugged his shoulders after his hazel eyes gazed up at Joel who stepped back slowly. Joel waved before heading back toward his own home leaving Negan to himself.

Ending the day with that was definitely anxiety inducing. Surprise flooded Negan’s veins at the idea that Joel didn’t end up beating the hell out of him. In their conversation, Joel got Negan to admit that he loves someone who was in Jackson. And he also got Negan to admit that he was the most attracted to Y/N and Joel. If Joel took a moment to think about it, he would have realized that Negan was admitting to being in love with Y/N. It wasn’t that hard to piece together, but Joel hadn’t. Originally, he started this friendship with Joel because he wanted to make sure there was that extra incentive that he wouldn’t act on his feelings toward Y/N. He also knew that he wanted Y/N happy and Joel was the number one way she would get that. Genuinely, he also liked Joel.

Clutching the door tightly, Negan frowned and shook his head. For so long he had worked hard to not get attached to people. Being friends with both Y/N and Joel had made it hard to do that though. Especially with Y/N. He had fallen in love and he had done it fast. Honestly? It made him feel bad about himself. He knew in the long run he would never be good enough for someone like Y/N or even Joel in that matter. So being their friend was really all he could do and he would have to remind himself of that as much as he could possibly do. In his mind, Negan didn’t deserve happiness beyond Morgan. So he would have to force himself to shut down those feelings as best as he possibly could.

----

#Joel Miller #Negan #Pedro Pascal #Jeffrey Dean Morgan #The Last of Us #The Walking Dead #joel miller x reader #negan fanfiction #joel miller fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #twd fanfiction #negan x reader

134 notes · View notes

pedroscurls · 1 year

Photo

Title: One Drunken Night (Part 9.)

CHAPTER TITLE: The Truth

Character(s): Negan (pre-apocalypse), Joel Miller (pre-apocalypse, au), Reader (third-person POV) Summary: Negan tells Reader the truth. Word Count: 3,791 Author's Note: Stay tuned! Warning: Mentions of death

(GIF source: @loregifs, @londoncapsule)

Joel felt terrible for a couple of reasons. One being that he knew how hard she worked to get to this point, to have her own art show, only to leave early to deal with Negan. The second being that he didn’t know how she was going to react if she ever found out that Joel knew Negan was married. The guilt was eating at him and when they finally made it back to the house, she excused herself to go to the bathroom.

Both men were standing in the middle of the living room, staring at each other with their respective injuries due to their scuffle at the gallery.

“So, you finally grew some balls and asked her out, huh?” Negan broke the silence.

Joel sighed, his jaw tightening. “My relationship with her don’t concern you.”

“Does she know that I was married?” Negan asked.

Joel shook his head.

“Wow. You actually kept that shit a secret?”

“Like I said, some things are best kept a secret.”

Negan shrugged, glancing around the house. He noticed more photographs of the little girl and he felt his heart leap at the sight of her. He couldn’t believe that he was a dad.

“Lucille died,” he blurted out.

Joel let his eyes soften for a moment, noticing how Negan had turned his attention elsewhere. “H– how long ago?”

“A year.”

“I’m sorry,” Joel replied.

“Whatever,” Negan muttered. He glanced over at Joel, taking note of the sympathetic look on the other man’s face and it angered him. Instead of making another scene, he looked away and walked towards the photos that were displayed of the little girl.

“Are you gonna tell her?” Joel asked.

Negan shrugged. “Lucille’s dead now, so what’s the point?”

Joel sighed, glancing down the hallway to see if Y/N had come out yet. “Her name’s Mila.”

Negan arched a brow, glancing over his shoulder at Joel. “That’s a very pretty name.”

“Means miracle. We almost lost her.”

Negan cleared his throat, standing up straight and pocketing his hands into his pants. “I was– I was being serious. I was in a very bad place and I know I don’t deserve to get to know her, to meet her, but–”

Joel interrupted. “She’s your daughter. By blood.” Despite their little scuffle earlier, Joel felt very sympathetic towards Negan. Joel knew about grief, about loss and it never was easy. Even to this day, while he was happy, it still hurt to think about Sarah and that one particular night.

“I just–” Negan began, his eyes staring at a photograph of Mila.

“Don’t wanna disappoint her?” Joel finished.

“Yeah. I’m not a good man and–”

“Then you change, for Mila.”

Negan nodded, glancing over at Joel. Though, his attention shifted to Y/N who was walking down the hallway, having changed into much more comfortable clothing. Her hair was in a messy bun and she was dressed in lounge pants and a tank top. Negan bit his lower lip, his eyes raking over her frame. It had been a while since he had been with anyone and seeing her brought back memories of the times they shared.

Joel, on the other hand, noticed the way Negan was looking at her. He arched a brow and felt a sudden sense of jealousy wash over him. He nudged the other man and cleared his throat.

“Hey, that’s my girl.”

Negan shrugged. “I’m just looking.”

“I’d prefer it if you didn’t.”

Y/N walked over to them and leaned against Joel, her head resting against his arm as she looked up at Negan. She would be lying to herself if she didn’t think about the times she shared with Negan and seeing him here, standing in front of her, brought it all back.

“What do you want to know, doll?” Negan asked, running a hand through his hair.

“Everything.”

Negan and Joel shared a glance once more and this time, Y/N decided to speak up about it. She had a feeling they both knew something she didn’t.

“Okay, why do you guys keep looking at each other like that?”

“Like what?” Negan asked.

“I’m not stupid.”

“We didn’t say you were, darlin’,” Joel added.

“Then what is it?”

Negan glanced over at Joel and sighed heavily. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Yes, it does. You agreed that you’d tell me everything, so… Tell me.”

“Darlin’...”

She looked up at him, taking a step back and crossing her arms over her chest. “What, Joel? Is it that bad?”

“I was married,” Negan blurted out. “Married when we met. Married when we slept together. Married the entire time until my wife died a year ago.”

Y/N widened her eyes, taking a step back from Negan and Joel. She looked over at the taller man, her view of him immediately shifting. It was just her luck that the father of her child was already married during the time she was conceived.

“And I knew about it,” Joel added.

She shook her head. “Are you– Are you both fucking serious?”

Negan sighed. “My marriage was basically over, before she got sick and–”

“That’s no excuse! You cheated on her… With me!”

Joel tried to console her, reaching out for her and she shook her head, raising a hand in the air. “I don’t even want to look at either of you.”

“But–” Joel began.

“You knew all this time… And you didn’t tell me?”

“It’s not that simple, darlin’.”

“Oh, I think it’s pretty simple, Joel.”

“It’s not his fault,” Negan began. “It’s mine. I’m an asshole.”

“Yeah, you are. You know what? I’m just–” She sighed and pointed to the door. “I don’t even want to be around either of you right now.”

“Where are you going?” Joel asked, his eyes softening at the sight of her grabbing her things.

“Anywhere but here.”

Joel didn’t get a chance to try and stop her before she walked out the front door, slamming it shut. He flinched at the sound and glanced over at Negan, his eyes narrowing as a tense-filled silence filled the air. Negan cleared his throat, shrugging his shoulders and dropping down onto the couch.

“Want a cup of coffee?” Joel asked.

“You’re not gonna kick me out?”

He shook his head. “She’s gonna want to talk to you once she gets back.”

“And what makes you so sure that she’s gonna come back tonight?”

Joel shrugged. “I know my girl. Give her some space. She’ll come around.” He left Negan in the living room as he walked towards the kitchen.

Negan sighed and stood, following Joel hesitantly. He felt out of place, like he was inserting himself in someone else’s life and while he knew that he deserved a chance to get to know his daughter, it didn’t lessen any of the concerns or worries that he was feeling. Instead, he glanced down at his left hand, his thumb running across the inside of his ring finger.

Once Joel started a pot of coffee, he then grabbed two mugs and set one in front of Negan. He looked over at the other man and sighed. While he didn’t like him, Joel knew exactly what he must be going through. It was never easy losing someone you love.

“Can I ask you something?” Negan muttered.

“Sure.”

“Mila… Is she–”

“Like you?” Joel finished.

Negan nodded in response.

“She’s stubborn, but I’m sure she gets that from both you and her mother,” Joel smiled. “She likes to have the last word. Loves to talk.”

“Sounds like me,” Negan smiled. “Does she like causing trouble?”

Joel chuckled. “Oh yeah. She can be a handful, but she’s got a big heart.”

Negan bit his lower lip. “Must have gotten that from her mother then.”

Joel didn’t respond, grabbing the pot of coffee and pouring the liquid into each of their mugs. He looked over at Negan, noticed the bags under his eyes and an almost permanent defeated look across his features.

“You’re a lucky man, Joel,” Negan added.

“Yeah, I am,” he acknowledged with a smile.

Negan glanced around the kitchen, his mind drifting as he imagined the life he could have had with Y/N and their daughter. Negan always wanted to be a father, but when he and Lucille started fighting, that dream had vanished. He wondered what would have happened if Lucille never got sick, if their divorce was finalized, would he have gotten back with Y/N? Would he be the one in Joel’s shoes?

Would Negan be happy?

He thought so. The short time Negan spent with Y/N had helped through some of the darkest and lowest of times; he would even go so far as to admit that eventually, he would have fallen for her. Even now, three years later, she was still as beautiful as the night they met. Even in the dark pit Negan was currently in, Y/N managed to bring back some light into his life. It gave him a glimpse of a life that he could have, where Lucille’s death wasn’t looming over him every second of every day.

“Do you love her?” Negan finally asked.

Joel nodded. “I haven’t been this happy in a very long time.”

Negan sighed, glancing over at the fridge to see a polaroid picture of Y/N and Mila. It made his heart swell at the sight. Joel followed the other man’s eyes, taking note of where Negan was looking.

“Just so you know,” Joel started. “You’re gonna be part of Mila’s life from here on out. I know Y/N hasn’t said anything yet, but just like Mila, she’s got a big heart too. And sometimes… People are deserving of second chances.”

Negan looked over at Joel, sipping from his mug. “You really think that? After everything you know of me? After our fights?”

Joel nodded. “I know what it’s like,” he sighed. “To lose someone you love.”

Negan arched a brow. “You lose your wife?”

“My daughter.”

Negan cleared his throat. He couldn’t imagine what that type of loss could have been and from the looks of it, it still brought Joel a lot of pain. Negan sighed, moving his attention to his mug. He never really did like talking about his feelings, but it brought him some comfort to know that Joel knew what he was feeling.

“I’m sorry,” Negan muttered. “I didn’t know.”

Joel shrugged a shoulder. “I don’t like talking about it.”

“Right, I get that.” Negan said. He understood clearly and he felt the same way when it came to talking about Lucille.

“This is your second chance,” Joel said. “With Mila.”

Negan sighed; he had always been a disappointment in his life and he certainly didn’t want to be that person for Mila. Or for Y/N.

“What about Y/N?” He asked hesitantly.

“What about her?” Joel arched a brow.

“You think I can have a second chance with her?”

“No,” Joel replied quickly.

“Not like that,” Negan chuckled, though his mind did deviate to her and their shared moments together. “I just mean… Do you think she will ever forgive me?”

“I think that’s up to her,” Joel replied. “As long as you stop being an asshole, I think she’ll forgive you.”

Negan chuckled, shaking his head. He had been in this dark pit since Lucille’s cancer diagnosis and the past few years had been hell. Seeing Y/N and knowing that he had a daughter, it brought back some light to his life. It made him want to become a better person, a better man. Not only for Mila, but for Y/N as well.

—

She walked into the house after being away for a couple of hours. She was holding a milkshake in one hand and a brown bag in the other. When she went into the kitchen, she saw Joel and Negan talking with one another.

They actually looked like they were getting along.

Joel saw her first. He smiled at the sight, walking in her direction slowly. “Hey.”

“Still mad,” she replied. She set her food down and took a seat, sipping on her shake and glancing over at Negan. Still, his presence got to her and she wasn’t sure how she felt about it, about him.

“I’m sorry, doll…” Negan’s voice came out as a whisper. A deep, husky whisper that caught her attention.

She took a big bite of her burger and glanced up at Joel. He was watching her carefully and she sighed. It was hard being mad at him. After swallowing the contents, she looked between both men and cleared her throat.

“I’m sorry your wife died,” she told Negan. “I’m sure that’s been tough on you.”

Negan sighed, looking away from her. “Hm,” was his only response. He stood from his seat and motioned towards the hallway to the bathroom.

“Go ahead,” Joel said.

Once Negan left the kitchen, Joel walked over to her and gently turned her chair around so that she was facing him.

“Hey.”

“Hi,” she replied.

“You okay?”

“No.”

Joel sighed. “Wanna talk about it?”

“I don’t know if there’s anything to talk about. I just– It’s my thing.”

“Our thing,” he corrected. “What do you wanna do?”

“It’d be wrong to stand in the way of Negan getting to know his daughter, but it’s just… He was married, and you also knew about it. Why didn’t you tell me?”

Joel shrugged. “Didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Yeah, well, that happened regardless, didn’t it?”

“Didn’t expect you to ever find out… Or to ever see him again.”

“That makes both of us.”

Joel bit his lower lip, resting his hands on her thighs as he leaned forward to peck her lips softly. “I love you, okay?”

She sighed, leaning against him. “I love you too.”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Hm?”

Joel pulled back to look into her eyes, tilting her head slightly.

“Did any of your old feelings for him come back?”

She arched a brow, biting her lower lip. She dropped her eyes and took her hands in his, sighing quietly. “Do you want the honest truth?”

He nodded.

“Yes.”

Joel tried to pull away, but she shook her head and pulled him back to her. “But, I want you. I’ve always wanted you.”

“You sure? Because that’s Mila’s father and–”

“But you’re also her dad.”

“Not by blood.”

“Doesn’t matter. You’ve held her when she cried, made her feel loved and seen… You’re her dad just as much as Negan is.”

Joel sighed, resting his forehead against her shoulder. She wrapped her arms around him, turning her head to place a gentle kiss on the side of his neck.

“How is this going to be from now on?” He asked.

“We’ll figure it out.”

They pulled away once they heard Negan clear his throat. Joel pocketed his hands, leaning against the counter as he looked over at Negan.

Y/N stood from her chair and walked over to Negan, feeling towered over by the other man. He looked down at her and tilted his head, a small smile lining his lips. His dimples appeared and she bit her lower lip as a response.

“First thing’s first, boundaries,” she said.

“Oh?” Negan smirked, his tongue darting out to run along his lower lip. “Like what, doll?”

Joel cleared his throat and walked over to them. Y/N looked between both men who were now staring at her and she could have sworn that at that moment, she wanted both of them. At the same time. One at a time. It didn’t matter. She wanted them both.

“Darlin’?”

“Right.” She cleared her throat and shook her head slightly to get her out of her mind. “Boundaries. Negan, we’ll have to have a talk with Mila first. She’s going to be confused, but–”

“I understand,” Negan replied. “As long as she’s comfortable.”

Y/N nodded. “We can schedule something for tomorrow. Dinner, maybe?”

Negan nodded. “I make really good spaghetti,” he winked.

Y/N bit her lower lip. Oh, she definitely remembered.

Joel looked between the two and arched a brow, his jaw tightening.

“Don’t worry about cooking. We got it,” Joel replied.

Negan was staring at her, noticing how she was subtly squirming where she stood. “You okay with that doll?”

“Y–Yeah. Like Joel said, don’t worry about it.”

“Sounds like a plan then.” Negan said. Joel led them to the door and watched as Negan gently leaned down to place a kiss onto her cheek. “See you tomorrow night.” Negan pulled back and grinned, turning his attention to Joel.

Joel narrowed his eyes and grabbed his keys. “I’ll drop you off.” He turned to Y/N and cupped her cheek, pulling her into a passionate kiss as he moved his lips with hers, determined to let Negan know that she was no longer his.

“I’ll be back, darlin’.”

She nodded, looking both between Negan and Joel. It was intoxicating. She didn’t know how she was going to keep her resolve.

“O–Okay, see you tomorrow, Negan. I’ll see you in a bit, baby. Drive safe.”

—

“I notice the way you’re lookin’ at her,” Joel said, interrupting the silence as he drove Negan back to his apartment.

Negan arched his brow, turning his attention to Joel. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t play stupid,” he said, gripping the steering wheel. “Like I said, she’s mine.”

Negan chuckled. “You act like I’m going to take her from you.”

“I don’t trust you, Negan. You’re Mila’s father and this is your second chance, but don’t mistake my friendliness for something that it isn’t.”

“Is it my fault that she’s just so beautiful?” Negan replied. “I mean, three years and a baby later and she still looks that good? Can you blame me?”

Joel tightened his jaw. “She’s off limits. I’m serious.”

“And so am I.” Negan shrugged. “I can be cordial with you, Joel. It’s like I said all those years ago, we’re literally one in the same. Don’t try to act like we aren’t.”

“We’re not,” he replied quickly. “I have never cheated on any woman I’ve been with.”

Negan narrowed his eyes. “Oh, shut the hell up. If it weren’t for me, you’d still just be her friend. I gave you the confidence you needed to ask her out. If anything, you should be thanking me.”

Joel scoffed. “You really are somethin’ else, aren’t ya?”

“You’re not gonna get rid of me, Joel. Mila’s my daughter. You’re stuck with me for the rest of her life. I mean, that’s considering that you and Y/N are gonna eventually settle down together and if not, then–”

“Don’t you finish that sentence.”

Negan laughed which caused Joel to abruptly stop. Negan jerked forward and braced himself against the seat. He turned to Joel and narrowed his eyes, a smirk lining his lips.

“Joel, come on…” Negan said. “I just like getting underneath your skin.”

“I’m serious, Negan. Anything you might be feeling for Y/N, it’s gotta end right here, right now.”

Negan tilted his head. “But do you notice the way she looks at you and me? I mean, can you imagine what’s going through that pretty little mind of hers?”

Joel sighed. Oh, he definitely noticed.

“You ever think about it?” Negan asked.

“About what?”

“Sharing her with another man.”

“No. I don’t like sharing,” Joel replied.

Negan chuckled. “Yeah, me too.”

“Besides, I think it’d just make things more complicated.”

“Or not,” Negan replied. “Might just make us all stronger.”

“If that’s what she wants,” Joel said. “Then that’s what she wants.”

“You willing to step out of your comfort zone and do that for her?” Negan asked.

“I’d do anythin’ for her.”

Negan smirked. “Well, I suppose we’ll see if she even mentions it.”

Joel continued driving. The silence now consumed both men, allowing their minds to deviate. Joel thought about Y/N and Mila, wondering how this new dynamic was going to shift things. It had always just been the three of them since Mila was born and he wasn’t sure how things were going to be once they tell Mila that Negan was her real father. He would be lying if he said that his heart didn’t break when Negan said he wanted to be part of her life. It just felt like now he didn’t belong.

Negan, on the other hand, thought about Lucille. It was hard not to. He wondered what would have happened if she beat the cancer. Would he even know that he was a father? Probably not. He vowed to himself that he would change once Lucille received her cancer diagnosis. The last few years had been draining, exhausting, mentally, emotionally, and physically. He had been by Lucille’s side throughout her journey and when she died, it angered him. He had gotten a glimmer of hope that things were going to be different, that his relationship, his marriage with Lucille was going to get better, but just as that hope settled in, she died. Now, a year later, seeing Y/N and finding out he was a father, it scared him. Despite the facade he put on, especially to Joel, Negan was screaming inside.

He didn’t want to disappoint anyone.

Once Joel stopped the car at Negan’s apartment complex, he glanced over at the other man and noticed Negan staring out the window.

“See ya tomorrow,” Joel called out.

“Right,” Negan said, clearing his throat. He didn’t make a move to try and leave the car.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

Joel sighed. “You don’t wanna be alone, huh?”

Negan nodded, glancing over at Joel. “That’s when my mind goes to dark places.”

Joel contemplated for a moment. He knew exactly what Negan meant. There had been plenty of days and nights where staying at home, surrounded by Sarah’s things, brought more pain.

He took a deep breath. Joel was going to regret what he was about to say, but he suggested it anyway.

“We have a guest room back at our place. You can spend the night there.”

Negan whipped his head to look at Joel. “Really?”

Joel nodded. “Being alone… It ain’t the best thing in the world. Just promise me that you’re gonna be on your best behavior.”

Negan chuckled. “Can’t promise that, but you sure it’s okay?”

Joel shrugged. “It will be.”

Negan nodded. “I’ll grab some change of clothes. Thanks, Joel.” He left the car and walked towards his apartment, leaving Joel in the car, waiting for the other man.

Joel sighed to himself. Now he had to somehow explain to Y/N that he invited Negan to spend the night, probably indefinitely.

Taglist (let me know if you want to be tagged!): @kaitebugg03, @a-girl-interupted, @igotbasicdrag, @darkshadow6200, @fandomoniumflurry, @xhannahbananax03, @quinnverses, @xojdmasf, @flippittygibbitts, @endofthexline

47 notes · View notes