i don’t want to live, but i’m too scared to die.
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In short: I felt my existence was tainted, in some subtle but essential way.”
― Donna Tartt, The Secret History
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do you ever think you're special to someone, but then you see this person acting the same with everyone else and you're just kind of
oh,
alright
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I have no fucking support. No one in my corner. I'm truly fucking struggling with life. I don't wanna live anymore man.
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𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒉 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝒊𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒅, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒊𝒕𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒏𝒐 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒐𝒇, 𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒆𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓.
-𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒆
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"I was shaking. I'm sure I looked really vulnerable, if not, I felt really vulnerable. I was on the verge of tears. I didn't know what to do. I was lost.
Hence, I found out that I am terrified of feeling alone."
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Being with people who don't appreciate you or listen to you when you're sad is even worse than actually being alone.
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If I can accept and recognize the messed up stuff I have done, and how it had affected both of us…
Why can’t you even mention anything, ANYTHING, that you know you did wrong?
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Do you ever get this feeling where you're empty or a part of you is missing. Like you're happy, good, living life. But when everything is silent and there's nothing left to do you can feel the loneliness creeping in. A part of me will always be empty I guess
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Take me up to the mountains and away from this place 🚞
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You walk with your hand swaying, empty, lingering, by oneself, yearning for someone to appear and hold it gently. Unforeseen.
-uraverageartfreak
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at this point i don’t even know if i’m a bad person or have just simply been convinced i am one?
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