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Instagram question sticker part 3
Distance from all I want to be close to // anxiety // wanting to reach out but knowing it is a bad idea // anxiety and sadness // separation // loneliness and anger // shame // unmotivated and drained // invalidation // anger
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No one can tell what goes on in between the person you were and the person you become. No one can chart that blue and lonely section of hell. There are no maps of the change. You just come out the other side. Or you don't.
-- Stephen King
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The nights are growing longer,
And the days are short and dull,
I have lots more time to ponder,
On empty hours that should be full.
Empty hours haunt the night time,
As I walk these empty floors,
Empty stairs and empty hallways,
Where silence waits by open doors.
Empty hours full of silence,
Empty hours full of grief,
Empty hours full of heartache,
And empty hours without sleep.
Empty hours since you left me,
Empty minutes ticking by,
Empty feelings full of numbness,
Empty spaces for to cry.
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Peaky Blinders S01xE02
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from Loneliness: coping with the gap where friends used to be by Olivia Laing for The Guardian
[Text ID: Last night, I ate dinner with my friend Jenny. In real life, on a warm London evening, forking up aubergine from the same plate. We laughed, shared family news, told each other the things we’d been worrying over. At home, alone in my study, they’d felt insurmountable, a sign that something was irredeemably wrong with me. Under the gentle scrutiny of my friend, they diminished to a normal size: just the grit of everyday traffic with other humans. I walked home feeling buoyant, nearly invincible. I need my friends. I bet you need yours.]
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~ the lonely city; olivia laing
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"On Loneliness" - Wim Wenders
“Loneliness, there’s another word “Solitude”. I think, more than any other notion today both loneliness and solitude have not negative commentations. However the most strong conviction. They are the only, if you know how to be lonely and you can accept solitude as something beautiful and healing, you know how to be with other people. You cannot with other people and be a service to other people. You cannot stand to be, you know.”
- Ernst Wilhelm "Wim" Wenders born 14 August 1945) is a German filmmaker, playwright, author, and photographer. He is a major figure in New German Cinema.
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You know that poem “No man is an island entire of itself”, for some reason I feel that it fits a lot with Dusik.
He keeps trying to be an island. It's not necessary for a person to be a hermit and introvert to be considered lonely. Holding back your feelings, avoid sharing your vulnerable side and hiding behind a smile is also loneliness.
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i am tired. i am exhausted. from my head to my soul to my bones i am so fucking tired.
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There is one particular ship dynamic that never fails to wreck me, and I’ll call it Soulmates, But Not Like That. Not in a “some higher power has decided that we are destined to be together” way, but something that is almost the opposite of that. It’s that character who has been alone for a long time, and has maybe convinced themselves that they will be alone forever, and who has a lot of barriers to intimacy with most of the people around them, for whatever the relevant narrative reasons are. And then they just happen to cross paths with this ONE FUCKING PERSON who works for them, through some very specific combination of personality and circumstance and life experience and mutually compatible damage. And there is always the shock of what are the fucking odds, and underneath everything the terror of what if this doesn’t last. what if there’s no one else. I would just go back to being alone. I don’t know if I could do that after knowing this. Because when you finally let down that wall of emotional self-sufficiency the thought of having to put it back up again is painful. And in real life I don’t at all believe that there is only One Designated Person for anyone, but in fiction I do tend to gravitate toward characters who believe themselves to be The Only One in some way, and I will always be emotionally compromised by that dawning sense of oh. You are like me.
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Rosario Castellanos, tr. by Julian Palley, from Meditation on the Threshold: A Bilingual Anthology of Poetry; “Monologue of a foreign woman”
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Feelings I Have Lost.
Why am I feeling sad,
Why am I feeling down,
Where once my lips were smiling,
Now all they do is frown.
Why does this sadness cling to me,
Why is my life so dull,
Why does my soul feel empty,
When once it felt so full.
Where have my friends all gone to,
When once they were so close,
Where are the flowers of yesterday,
When today no flower grows.
When will the rain stop falling,
When will the snow fields melt,
When will the sun come calling,
With the feelings I once felt.
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― Jenny Slate, Little Weirds
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All I do is sit in front of screens, have my silly little coffee and zone out of life
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me @ me
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