#loneliness is killing me

[kuro4thegays]

i understand and totally can relate (cuz same here). i write for myself first of all, for my fav char, for my mascot that represents myself. everytime someone finds me (literally how) and they are nice enough to leave a supportive comment, everytime i tell you... its so 💞 cant describe in words tbh. like "your writing is gemstone, didn't know i held back my breath reading this piece." like... im just doing and writing what i like, what i want, for myself. and it's terribly sweet when another one comes in then eventually enjoys my food. i dont write for the shipdom, none. so when they like it, its not about the couple that drives them crazy, its about my things on them, it makes me proud no matter what lol. yeppie i love you and your works. i will spread that. wish you good things you deserve mhehe

🐰

Yeah, I too write with a specific self insert oc in mind. Sometimes when I'm writing on paper I actually write it in third person instead of second and then change it when writing digitally, though these days I don't get much free time to sit down and write on paper.

Tbh, I was never able to get that attached to character x character. Idk why, I actually do read headcannons and interpretations of some popular ships, but that was always to get to better know the characters individually. Same with fanart, I follow many ship artist just to see the characters falling in love and being cute.

Life is getting kinda hard though, even to the point that just thinking feels hard, and idk how quickly I'll be able to update. I hope that hearing my half thought out shitpost will be enough for a while.

#i miss my husband #(a fictional character) #ramble #replies #loneliness is killing me #🐰 anon

[lost-sputnik-sweetheart]

do you even think of me?

#love #overthinking #thinking #admiration #sadness #loneliness #loneliness is killing me

[ruporas]

lonely

[ID: A limited palette of green and pink, Vashwood comic. The first page serves as a prologue. The first panel shows Vash speaking to someone off screen while Wolfwood is lingering behind him. A black arrow is drawn pointing at him. In the second panel, Vash is buying donuts in the distance while Wolfwood is once again in view, lingering. and the black arrow is drawn pointing at him. In the third panel, Vash is leaving a cubicle and turning towards his right with a slightly peeved expression. He sees Wolfwood, leaning against the cubicle, waiting for him, and with the black arrow drawn, pointing at him, implicating the consistent hovering of Wolfwood’s presence during Vash’s everyday. At the bottom of the page, they’re drawn out of panel with Vash turning to Wolfwood and saying with an irritated expression, “You’re really following me everywhere, huh?” Wolfwood responds, “What, you got a problem?” Vash responds without hesitation, “Yeah, kinda...”

The second page starts with a new day. In the first panel, Vash is seen alone, weighing apples in his hands at a mart, with crowds passing behind him. In the second panel, he turns to his right and starts to say, “Hey, Wolfwood...” In the third panel, he’s startled from seeing a stranger, whom he’d accidentally called out to when he was expecting to see Wolfwood. He says, “Oh, you’re not him. Sorry!” In the fourth panel, the stranger walks off and Vash muses, “Right, he said he had something to do today...”

The third page begins with a close up of Vash's miffed expression, the continuation of Vash's thoughts, "Now that he's not here, this is just like how I used to be, but... It feels lonely somehow. Oh well, I'll see him again tonight, like always." In the second panel, it shows Vash walking through the marketplace crowd, alone. In the third panel, the door panel is a close up of the door opening with a peek of Vash's head. He says, "Wolfwood!" In the fourth panel, Vash is holding a bag of food with a bright smile and says, "Are you hungry? I got you something to eat today!"

The fourth page begins with a shot of the room, two beds being highlighted, one of them being made properly with the blanket draped over the bed and the other with the blanket folded and pillow sitting on top of it. There's no sign of Wolfwood. The second panel shows Vash with a disappointed look as he thinks, "He's still not here?" The third panel shows Vash putting the bag of food on the table. Stapled to the paper bag is the receipt with a written note "For Wolfwood." Vash's thoughts continue "He does like to stay out so, I guess there's no reason to worry..." The fourth panel shows Vash sitting his bed somberly with his thoughts continued, "It's not any of my business anyway..."

The fifth page starts with a close up his blank expression as he looks downwards, thinking, "Even if he left completely... That'd be understandable and better for him. I'll just travel alone again... like before... Huh?" The next panel shows Vash's composure break, tears welling up in his eyes suddenly, as he didn't expect to cry. He starts to sob, putting his hands to his face to quiet himself and wipe at his tears, as he says, "Ugh... Dammit... I miss h..." The last panel shows Vash leaning over into his hands, still crying, and in the back, the door swings wide open with a bam as Wolfwood walks through with the punisher swung behind him. He shouts, "SPIKEY! You in here?!"

The sixth page starts with Wolfwood confused, looking at Vash and Vash looks back, just as confused, with tears in his eyes and snot out of his nose. Wolfwood starts saying, "Ah? You..." No longer in panels, at the bottom of the page, Wolfwood takes the Punisher off of himself and starts to walk towards Vash, continuing with slight concern, "What's wrong with you? Did something happen?" Vash, hurriedly begins to wipe at his tears, denying immediately, "No! No, I'm fine! Nothing happened!"

The seventh page, Vash points towards the table, with a hand still wiping at his tears and he smiles as he says, "I uh got you food. On the table." Wolfwood looks towards to the table and responds, "Oh. I was getting hungry, thanks." He turns his head back to Vash immediately after with an uncertain expression, knowing the other wasn't responding to his concern, and says, "But, I know you're an idiot with this stuff, so I'm reminding you again. Don't brush it off if it's an issue, alright?"

The eight page, Vash's tears have dried and he looks to Wolfwood with a soft smile and responds, "Yeah. It's okay though..." A panel at the center shows a side view of Vash approaching Wolfwood. At the bottom of the page, with no panel, is a close up shot of Vash's hand, holding onto the edge of Wolfwood's jacket sleeve, as he says, "Because you're here now. Wolfwood."

The final page is a back shot of both of them standing next to each other, Wolfwood's head tilted slightly to the left, not fully believing Vash as he says, "That doesn't answer anything, Spikey." Vash responds, "There's no need to talk about it! You should enjoy your food. Let's have a drink too?" Wolfwood responds, "Tsk, tsk. Fine, yeah. I could use one." END ID]

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #but onto this comic... i think and talk a LOT about vash's loneliness bc trigun is just. kind of central on that for a good while! esp in #the original manga he was alone for a good portion of it and he tends to keep others away like how he ran away from meryl and milly when #they tried to tag along. and he was kind of bothered when he realized ww was following him around Too. at the core even though he loves #humans and he loves deeply the people he does know -- he isnt really much of a people person and i think thats been the case since he was #young considering his initial doubts towards humans... with the exception of kids bc kids dont give him moral conflicts. so suddenly #here comes wolfwood!!! his guide. someone TRULY affixed to him until he has to get to knives. someone who isnt budging and someone whos #really good at following him around and even seems like he goes like 5 steps ahead to make sure vash doesnt run on him #in one way its - i don't want you to follow me bc i don't want to burden you and i don't want you to kill the people i want to save. #in another way its - i like this companionship. i like waking up to you and i like ending the way with you. i like talking to someone who #knows my world. i like being in your space and sometimes i enjoy talking about our day #theyre just living together. like. roadtrip buddies or theyre also under the same roof because they're going everywhere together. #trimax they mainly spend their mornings together and if they had personal business attend the other person would usually know and itd only #be during the midday. anyway bc of this kind of companionship i figure that vash eventually grew accustom to it and he really. cant go back #to the kind of loneliness from before. it's harder to imagine and it'd be harder to withstand. esp after 2 years with lina and her grandma. #ruporas art

[monsterfucker-geralt]

It's a lonely life for witchers

#every time I see geralt meditating in monster lair waiting for it to show up I feel such a loneliness #and it's even worse when I kill it #anyway don't mind me I'm just being dramatic #tw3 #the witcher #geralt of rivia #oh and his eyes black cause he took cat in case you're wondering #also did I tell you I love hags cause I love hags #my art

[snakeoid]

i wish he looked more like a bat

#bg3 #astarion #sorry im dead i havent really balanced my time yet and when i do have the free time to draw it feels like ive forgotten how #im still trying to get used to being on my own the loneliness is kinda killing me rn

[bumblingbabooshka]

[Tuvok & Janeway: Control, Distance, Duty & Connection.] Sources: St Voyager Transcripts / Mitski 'First Love Late Spring' / Disco Elysium

#web weaving #star trek web weaving #st voyager #Kathryn Janeway #Tuvok #be the change you want to see in the world - make a long post about Tuvok & Janeway's similarities <- angel on my shoulder #I feel like a lot of people see them as 'opposites attract' sort of friends where Janeway is unhinged & Tuvok reigns her in #but in reality I think that while there is that element in there (exacerbated HEAVILY by their delta quad circumstances) #what I see most in their relationship is how they both value loyalty and duty above all and are extremely rigid with themselves #and the people around them. How they both have to maintain distance from others bc of their positions as captain & vulcan #I hate when people dismiss Tuvok as not being remotely interested in Maryana or Noss - it erases an interesting struggle that he and Janewa #both share - their desire to stay loyal to their spouses vs the 70 years of loneliness that that loyalty demands of them #But they BOTH triumph and they BOTH remain loyal (Tuvok until he returns to T'Pel and Janeway until Mark informs her that it's over) #and for both of them it's a little bit insane for them to do that. #Isn't it more interesting that Janeway and Tuvok both have feelings for people other than their spouses but don't give in #to that temptation? #They're both people who live very fastidiously by codes. Either written codes or moral codes - they very rarely if ever do things because #it's what THEY want to do. I'd say they're the least emotion-driven members of the crew and yes I'm including Seven because Seven #has a very...how to describe? It's a blunt and insular selfishness. She does what SHE wants to do and doesn't really care about others. #To me that's emotion-driven. Or...personal desire-driven? Not a bad thing at all but very different from Janeway & Tuvok who #are always more 'this is logical' or 'this is for the crew' rarely do they think 'this is what I want' bc they can't afford to #for different reasons (captain & vulcan) #they both also are in the most 'caretaking' positions on the ship from my POV. Security and Captain - both are directly in charge of #ship and crew safety. #Janeway & Tuvok #star trek voyager #st voy #when I say caretaking I'm NOT saying they're everyone's mom and dad or whatever - I'm saying they're in positions where they always #have to think about the greater good and the crew as a whole and how much danger is acceptable etc etc. #Janeway is always killing herself for the crew but Tuvok is right there beside her

[daisywords]

characters that kill someone and then mourn them...

#I had to stop you but I still love you! #It was an accident I swear I didn't mean to #I did it on purpose but at what cost #I regret it every day but I know deep down that I would do it again without hesitation #or Is it really you I mourn or is it the part of me that was lost when I became a killer? #or. the killing was planned but the grief was unexpected #I couldn't defeat my enemy without losing my friend #I hated you and I hate you even now but why do I miss you? #It was the only way I know it was but every day I wonder if I acted too quickly #I did it I stopped you but all I am left with now is this crushing loneliness #the person that you became was my greatest enemy but oh what I wouldn't do to save the person that you used to be #<<< all incredible

[keniaku]

me thinking about yuji and how he's his mother's son

#txt #THE ITADORIS AND THEIR HEREDITARY LONELINESS. RARGRGHHH #everytime i remember yuji was described as a loner it breaks my heart #this sweet little boy with no regards for his own life and would throw it away without a second thought #who has no problem dying if it means taking down a great evil with him #who recognized and accepted that he was just a cog in the machine of a greater thing he doesn't and likely wouldn't ever understand #his mother's most beloved yet they show that love with great cruelty #just to see how much he could do #how much he could grow #it shouldve been him who killed kenjaku FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK #they wouldve been so proud of him if that happens too. god. #me when the only way i could show my love is through extreme violence #my brainis frying dont ask what this means. im crunching a 7 pages comic in one day.

[ryllen]

FJADJSDSDHSDH NOW THAT Ooo..... MAKES SO MUCH SENSE

#FSAD THE FORTUNE TELLER KILLS ME; NO WONDER SHE SAID EAGER ; AND THE ALTERNATIVE FOR 'QUITE HOPEFUL' IS 'LITTLE BASHFUL' FOR OTHER SPOUSE #sdv #stardew valley #stardew valley fair #fortune teller #sdv farmer #sdv rasmodius #sdv welwick #stardew farmer #stardew rasmodius #stardew welwick #this is the first time i got this result #I THOUGHT IT MEANS HE WAS JUST LONELY #LIKE U FEEL ME?? DARK?? DARKNESS??? LONELINESS???? #I MEAN I THOUGHT IT'S BCS I STARTED TO GIVE HIM THINGS I NEVER GAVE HIM JUST TO TEST OUT HIS REACTION & GOT HIS AFFECTION A BIT DECREASED?? #fanart #tho i don't remember giving him anything fatal #fjsfsdjsfhsdj mister rasmodius just stood there watching this must be like 'do i tell this las' #my usual result is the laying on grass ; last year i think i finally got the working on farm together #fjsdjdjd this year #i didn't know the grass is 50% probability; the farm and the dark each is 25%; and then the serious situation #which is said to be unused but i think i saw other person saying they got it #ask ur fortune they said it will be fun they said with the risk of getting ur life peeked #i kinda want to be able to build the golden clock as soon as possible #but also i know i won't have any reason to play anymore after i finished it #:*( #ma'am welwick just be like 'ho ho finally the las caught on' #both of them were so ready to let me go with fully misunderstanding fhshdsjd

[finn0cchio]

CW: BLOOD??? IT'S NOT RED IT'S BLACK BUT IDK IF IT COUTS SO IM GOING TO ADD THIS ANYWAYS !!!!!!!!!

v late to this but yea. I did this a while ago, found it while looking for another drawing because i need references of my own drawings :^)

aang in his nightmare arc is my favourite kind of aang 🙏🙏 The thought of aang hallucinating zuko because he's so hurt by his betrayal drives me insane🫠

shouldn't give people ideas for fanfics lol

my most loyal followers already saw this 😌 (looking at you three that follow my dump, you're all invited to my next birthday party 🙏)

#atla #avatar the last airbender #atla zuko #atla aang #zukaang #aang has gone insane #loser #my honest reaction when a beautiful gigantic man says that he can fix my loneliness #because said lonliness is killing me #and iiiii i must confess i still believe

[girlyteengirl16]

no matter what i’ll always feel lonely

#i’m so fucking depressed #mentally unstable #i want to kill myself #trauma #tw depressing stuff #i don’t think i’ll ever be okay #i want to be okay #tw depressing thoughts #loneliness #how to be okay #idk i’m sad i’m sorry #idk how to make it stop #this account is a cry for help pls help me

[officialkendallroy]

trying bumble bff again and it's literally hell i need an insane bitch to become best friends with me i can't do this small talk bullshit

#this loneliness thing kinda making me wanna kill myself ngl

[sulasnsleep]

“you’re the only person left, so hold me.”

—ur so pretty, wasia project

#wasia project #heartstopper #bookblr #books & libraries #books and literature #books and reading #books #beautiful quote #dark acadamia quotes #sadbeautifultragic #queer community #ur so pretty #lonely quotes #classic academia #heart stopper #william gao #nick nelson #charlie spring #academia #nick x charlie #tao xu #tao x elle #elle argent #chronic loneliness #when u smile it kills me #classic lit quotes #classic literature #light academism #dark acamedia #literature academia

[flowergirlmiwa]

listen closely to love songs sung by women and see if the lyrics are nonspecific enough that she could be singing about her wife

#pro tips #my post #lesbian #wlw #lgbt #girls love #yuri #the way you love me by faith hill is one #i think baby one more time too #“my loneliness is killing me”? so sapphic #wlw scenarios

[godiswith-us]

#saltburn #spoilers #jacob elordi #barry keoghan #emerald fennell #mitski #Since I heard this song it makes me think of them. I can't get it out of my head. Oliver is a loser #he loses everything #it's so tragic. “So when you leave me I should die” Oliver is dead #and he was in love! come on the moments where you see Felix's neck #such a pure memory of love and desire... why would you hug and kiss the tomb of your mate like this! I know the line between wanting to be #but I really don't believe he planned to kill him and his family. He is not a mastermind #he is a loser #never had real friends and only knows loneliness. He got the closest to a relationship with Felix and fcked everything #and cried because of course he regrets everything. And who does this and stay sane ?

[everysongineverykey]

and for my next trick i present... my Grand Tv People Freakout Extravaganza!!! *falls to the floor weeping violently*

#the owl house #toh raeda #raine whispers #eda clawthorne #i swear to god they're going to kill me. they're going to kill me. falls onfloor #you do everything you can to keep your beloved from finding out your secret thinking they will surely hate you but they end up leaving you #for doing just that #and then thirty years later they lie to you about being brainwashed and pretend not to recognize you #to keep you safe so they say #but you look into their eyes and all you see is that younger you staring back at you!!! #the one who loved them so much she forced the feathers and claws back down into her skin to keep them with her and didn't even succeed! #and you think: i thought we were past this. i thought you said i should have known better. #but when it comes down to it you both just want to keep the other safe more than anything. because maybe you still love each other #underneath the years of loneliness and bitterness. and maybe the thought of looking them in the eyes #and just saying 'i'm sorry. i was wrong. i miss you. i love you. can we try again?' #is too frightening for that prideful earnest loving yet cowardly and broken girl inside you. #and the thought of admitting you have made them change their mind is too painful for your beloved #who has resigned themself to always standing there and watching as you go and destroy yourself while cracking a joke. #anyway. heehoo funny owl show