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silverwhittlingknife · 1 year

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How do you feel about Jack Drake?? What are your thoughts on him and Tim’s relationship?

Anon, I hope you were interested in a novel, because look, I am fascinated by Jack Drake. He’s key to a whole lot of what I find compelling about Tim as a character, and if I were in charge of DC, I’d bring him back to life. This would make Tim unhappy but would IMO make for good plotlines.

Jack and Tim’s relationship is Complicated (TM)...

Jack and Tim hug in Nightwing 20 / Jack impulsively yanks a TV out of the wall in Robin 45 / Tim grieves in Identity Crisis

“I could tell the truth. But I don’t.” - Robin 66

...and it involves a whole lot of Tim lying, and feeling guilty about lying, and thinking about telling the truth, and choosing again and again to keep lying.

And I think that’s great.

Below the cut:

Shorter version - key points about Jack

Really long version - my gentler take (vigilantism is choir and Jack loves sports) vs. my harsher take (Jack has some major flaws)

Final thoughts

Shorter version - key points about Jack:

He’s a bad parent. He’s self-centered, he consistently prioritizes his own comfort and interests over his son’s, and when upset, he does things like order Tim off to boarding school.

But he’s never a bad parent in an actionable way. He’s not like David Cain or Arthur Brown, who are abusive monsters. Jack’s not a monster! He just...kinda sucks.

He genuinely loves Tim. If Jack’s aware that Tim’s disappeared or is in trouble, he’s always worried and upset. He periodically resolves to be a better dad, and IMO he’s always sincere.

And Tim loves him, a lot. Tim’s protective of him and worries about him when he’s kidnapped or in danger, and when they’re reunited, Tim’s really relieved and usually hugs him (and Jack hugs back!).

...But they have very little in common, and that’s a problem. Jack doesn’t value the things that Tim values, or respect the people that Tim admires, or care about the things that Tim’s interested in. Tim lies to him a lot, but that’s partly because he correctly guesses Jack wouldn’t respond well if he knew the truth of what Tim’s up to.

The Batfamily is a surrogate family that Tim’s drawn to because of the ways his real family doesn’t meet his emotional needs…but also he feels guilty about that and disloyal. (And to the extent that his dad recognizes what’s going on, he's jealous and resentful!)

Very long version:

(LISTEN I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS)

Okay! So first: Jack’s a character who IMO is pretty up for interpretation. You can interpret him very charitably, and make excuses for the bad behavior, and fill in the blanks sympathetically when situations are ambiguous; or you can interpret him uncharitably, and emphasize the bad behavior. I don’t think either approach is invalid - it depends on what kind of story you’re interested in! I have enjoyed Bad Dad stories and also stories that redeem Jack.

My personal take on canon is that Jack and Tim’s relationship is in a gray area. Jack's definitely neglectful, and he does prioritize other things over Tim, but he’s never so bad that Tim can easily reject him, and he's never so bad that Bruce could justify taking Tim away. He's just...not great. Tim loves him, and feels loyal to him, but it’s a very mixed-up complicated love.

I have a gentler take and a harsher one which I switch between as the spirit moves me. xD

My Gentler Take (tl;dr: vigilantism is choir and Jack loves sports)

Here’s the core conflict: Jack and Tim are very different people with different values. Tim idolizes Bruce and Dick and vigilantism, and secretly gets involved, knowing his dad will hate it. He gets increasingly wrapped up in his secret world and lies to his dad...because if his dad finds out, he’ll make Tim quit.

This is a great setup for an ongoing comic. It’s practical, because it provides endless potential for plotlines, and it’s nicely thematic, because it maps closely onto relatable real-life situations with extracurricular activities:

Tim the drama nerd whose dad thinks he’s playing football and not in the school play;

Tim the closeted-queer kid secretly getting involved in his school’s politically-active Gay-Straight Alliance;

Tim the choir kid whose dad only values making money and wants him to go into the family business (and Tim keeps promising himself he'll give up choir soon, definitely soon, but maybe he'll stay in just a liiiittle longer, because they need him, you see, the last tenor left town, so...);

Tim the computer geek with the sports-obsessed dad (this one’s just canon);

etc. etc.

The extracurricular metaphor works pretty well for Tim’s relationship to vigilantism. Tim's involved in his "extracurricular" because he genuinely thinks it's important and fulfilling, and he values it and wants to be good at it. He idolizes Bruce and Dick because they're good at it. He's been collecting information about it since he was a little kid, and hiding it from his parents because he knows they wouldn't approve. And mayyyybe there's also an element of low-key rebellion against his dad, and maybe that's secretly part of the appeal. And yet also as Tim gets more and more invested, he starts to daydream: maybe I could tell my dad and he'd be proud of me and supportive. But he doesn't, because actually he knows his dad would be upset and angry and make him quit.

And - again, just like with lonely kids and extracurricular hobbies - one of the things that happens is that Tim starts getting his unfilled emotional needs met ... by people he knows through this secret hobby. And people like Bruce and Dick start turning into a surrogate family. Which Tim feels guilty about. And also as Tim gets more and more wrapped up in their world, he has to lie to his dad even more, which means the distance between Tim and his dad gets bigger and bigger and more and more unfixable.

I love this dilemma. It's simple, it's recognizable, it provides endless sources for conflict, and there's no obvious solution! Tim can't tell Jack: he'll make Tim quit! And Tim doesn't want to quit, because he loves choir / art / theater / whatever. Yeah, it’s difficult, and there are challenges, and sometimes he has doubts...but at the end of the day, he cares about it a lot. And everything he values is there, and all the people he admires and cares about are there, and all he wants in the world is to feel like he's one of them and belongs there. So he has to lie, even though he doesn't want to lie, and he feels guilty about it...

...but also he ends up lying more and more.

(Sidenote: I think it's important that Tim chooses to keep lying - Tim's narration often glosses this as "I have to lie to my dad," and that's certainly how it feels to Tim, but this... isn't quite true. He has to lie to his dad, because if he doesn't, his dad will get mad at him and try to stop him, not because he literally has no choice about it.)

Other Reasons Why I Like The "Secret Extracurricular" Interpretation

(tl;dr it complicates not just Tim's relationship with his dad, but also all his other relationships)

Tim's problems have some obvious parallels to Steph and Cass, who both become vigilantes while rejecting their evil supervillain dads. But Jack isn't evil. And that means the Tim-and-Jack relationship is ambiguous and complicated in ways that I like. Steph and Cass can just leave their Bad Dads in prison, and say good riddance, and feel very righteous and triumphant about it! Tim’s more complicated. Tim gets into vigilantism ostensibly out of duty and altruism, but secretly, he's also involved for straight-up selfish self-fulfillment reasons. He's lonely, and bored, and his life feels pointless, but he thinks that Bruce and Dick are cool and amazing and he wants to be a part of the things that they do. When his dad gets jealous of Tim’s relationship to Bruce, and feels like Tim’s looking for a surrogate family, he’s... not wrong.

And the ways in which Jack is not Actionably Bad complicate things from Bruce's POV. If Jack was a straight-up villain, it’d be an easy call to keep in touch when Jack finds out and makes Tim quit...but he’s not a villain, not really. So what do you do? Do you try to surreptitiously stay in touch with Tim even though you’re ignoring his dad’s express wishes and thus forcing Tim to sneak around? Do you respect his dad’s wishes and stay away from Tim even though you have a years-long relationship at this point?

Again: a bit similar to the extracurricular analogy. Say you’re the choir director and you’ve built this whole relationship with a kid in the choir, and you’re an important mentor to him and you care about him etc. etc. etc.... and then right before a big performance, his dad finds out he’s been secretly involved, and yanks him out. How would you react? Well, maybe kind of in some of the ways Bruce reacts. You replace him. You’re annoyed with him. You miss him. You want him to come back. You’re also worried about him. You’re upset with his dad. But also... what should you do, exactly?

Bruce and Alfred and Dick care about Tim as if he were part of their family, but he’s not part of their family, and there’s a lot of interesting tension there.

My Harsher Take

Jack never hits his son. But his temper is a big deal.

In his worst moments, he takes out his anger on Tim’s stuff - wrecking his room, or ripping his TV out of the wall and confiscating it. When he’s worried about Tim, he usually expresses that fear by yelling at him / punishing him / sending him away - threatening to send him to boarding school in Metropolis in Robin III, or threatening to send him to military school abroad in Robin 92, or actually forcing him to go to an all-boys' boarding school post-NML.

This is bad behavior! It is Not Good!

And you can easily connect the dots to a bunch of Tim’s terrible coping mechanisms, like the constant lying and or the fact that Tim’s go-to methods for dealing with interpersonal conflict are 1) repress it and pretend it never happened (most of his fights with Bruce), 2) withdraw from the relationship until he can pretend the conflict doesn’t exist (when his friends get mad at him in YJ, he quits the team for a while), or 3) literally run away from home.

Also, Jack is a Manly Man with firm opinions about how men behave vs. how women behave, and he thinks boys shouldn’t be scared and thinks Tim should date hot girls and pushes Tim to work out and wants him to play football and expresses period-typical sexism, etc. etc. etc. ... and though obviously this wasn’t what the writers had in mind at the time, all of that is certainly interesting to read backwards in the light of Tim as a queer character.

More Disorganized Thoughts on Jack Drake

Tim’s our hero, so we’re naturally more sympathetic to him, but it’s also true that relationships are a two-way street, and Tim doesn’t value any of the things his dad values, either. Jack at various points is shown to care about grades, business, money, boarding schools, archeology, football, a kind of macho bragging-about-dating-hot-women ethos, and a very public and performative kind of caring. Tim tends to respond with discomfort or disinterest or even disgust. When Jack gets on TV to try to rally the government to save his son from No Man’s Land, Tim isn’t touched—he’s mortified. When Jack makes some bad investments and loses money, Jack’s deeply upset and his self-image is majorly impacted, and far from being sympathetic, Tim’s annoyed and kind of contemptuous of the idea that this is a problem. Jack thinks fishing in the early morning and going to tennis matches is a fun father-son activity; Tim finds it exhausting and tedious. And so on.

This means that Tim often longs to be closer to his dad in theory, but this longing is more tied to fantasy than to reality. He rarely seems to enjoy spending time with His-Dad-The-Actual-Person. So for example, when Tim’s deadly ill with the Clench, he has an extremely poignant fever dream about telling his dad the truth and getting hugged…even as he insists in real-life to Alfred and Dick that he does not want them to tell his dad what’s going on.

The same is true of Jack, who IMO genuinely wants to be closer to his son and is continually declaring that he’s going to turn over a new leaf and get closer to his son…and just as continually backs out of activities or loses his temper when faced with spending time with his actual son.

Tim and his dad sadly get along best—by far—in Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder situations. When Jack gets kidnapped or is in danger, Tim worries for him (and Tim grieves him deeply when he dies). When Tim disappears or runs away, Jack’s genuinely worried about him. So e.g. they have a really moving emotional reunion and hug when the earthquake hits Gotham, and Tim panics about his dad’s safety and comes running home (and meanwhile Jack’s been panicked about Tim’s safety!). It’s the day-to-day, regular life stuff where they don’t connect.

Jack's written quite differently by different writers. Mostly, Tim's parents are at their least likable in his early appearances and early miniseries (this is where you get, for example, Jack and Janet being nasty at each other while a pained employee looks on, and Tim disappointed to once again get news of where his parents are via postcard - "I guess that sums them up! Never know where they’re going to be–or when–or even how long!” - and Tim alone on school break, and Bruce and Alfred thinking there's something weird going on with Tim's parents, etc. etc.). Jack's more sympathetic but still often unlikable in most of Tim's Robin solo, and he's almost invisible (but positively treated if he does show up) in Tim's team books.

For obvious reasons, Jack's remembered way more sympathetically after his death. Tim's completely devastated by Jack's murder, which he arrives moments too late to prevent, and he basically never gets over it. We see him grieving Jack again and again in Robin, and also in Teen Titans, and also in Resurrection, and again in the Halloween Special, and again in Batman: Blackest Night, and all the way up to the end of Red Robin. Tim also grieves for an extended time over Janet - he hallucinates a happy reunion with her when he's feverish in Contagion, and hallucinates her in the final issue of Robin, and the reveal-your-buried-emotions song in Robin 102 brings up his grief for her too (meanwhile, other characters dance or laugh or otherwise get giddy). Tim’s grief over his parents’ deaths is intense and long-lasting.

I'm not going to clip comic panels because this is long enough, but if you're curious, here's a nice and fairly lengthy compilation of comic panels with Tim and Jack.

If you're interested in a Jack-centric story with a softer-but-still-recognizably-canon take on Jack, I really like the way Jack’s narration is written in the one-shots Heart Humble (set shortly before Jack dies) and Never a Hero (Ra's resurrects him during Brucequest, and Jack's archeology skills turn out to be unexpectedly useful).

#tim drake #jack drake #ask tag #i wrote this ages ago and now i can't remember what i was going to add to it so oh well draft amnesty? sorry for the long wait anon!! <333 #anyway i kept this carefully on topic and virtuously did not derail into talking about the other blorbo but tags are for disorganization SO #for me this kinda half-in half-out place where tim is with the batfamily is SUCH an interesting part of his relationship with dick #and i never stop turning it over in my head #he's kiiiinda replaced dick in that he's robin - but in a very real way he *hasn't* - he's NOT bruce's new son the way jason was #and early!tim makes a BIG POINT of how bruce is not his dad #and i think this relative distance from bruce is a huge factor in why dick is able to build a close relationship with tim at all #(because dick's still pretty estranged from bruce!)#and there's such interesting tension there when dick starts jokingly calling tim ''little brother'' or when villains call them brothers #because they're NOT. increasingly they would both LIKE to be brothers! but dick has zero official standing in tim's life #if tim got hit by a car in his civilian identity bruce and dick wouldn't even be able to visit him without his dad's permission #which jack would be pretty unlikely to give! jack doesn't like or trust bruce!#or like. this is morbid. but if tim died. dick wouldn't even be invited to the funeral you know?#and there's such interesting tension there for me in the contrast between this vigilante relationship that's very very close #but in their civilian lives no one would assume they're anything in particular to each other #anyway the 1st half of tim's robin solo has this thread of tension between tim's family life vs. his vigilante life (plus his mom's death)#and then the second half + red robin has the thread of struggling with grief in a world that's not fair + feeling lost/alone #and these two threads are a big part of my interest in tim as a character! jack's the backdrop that makes a lot of stories possible

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mumblesplash · 8 months

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the fact that doctors can just Recommend Weight Loss with no instructions beyond ‘eat healthier/less’ is actually insane to me, i lost weight on purpose ONCE and it took me like 6 years to recover a semi-normal relationship with food and hunger

#uhh #disordered eating cw #just in case #mumbling #like jfc i know i’m not the first to say it and my experience is relatively SO tame #but it STILL fucked with my head for YEARS #and most people don’t go nearly that long between weight loss attempts at all for basically their whole lives!!!!!#and we’re so blasé about it like yeah just eat less to lose weight #and so few people talk about the really weird shit that phase of my life taught me even though they seem like pretty universal things #like when you lose weight deliberately by denying yourself food you get COLD #you get cold and you get in your head and you get sad it’s like being less alive #the times i’ve lost weight/recomped on accident (by doing smth that makes me move more‚ getting better sleep etc)#it’s been WARM #burn hotter move freer feel happier #and also the way hunger feels when you’ve been denying yourself food for an extended time is NOT the same as baseline hunger #it’s actually kind of wild that we use the same word to describe both feelings like that shit is NOT the same #that shit is not ‘being really hungry’ it’s a fuckin. blood curse or some shit you feel straight up unhinged #and i should disclaim here i am not talking large amounts of weight #i’ve fluctuated over i think a 20lb range max since reaching close to my adult height and that’s a guesstimate #but even in my relatively unremarkable little experiences here the way deliberate weight loss fucked with my brain is absurd to me #i’m fine now have been for years but seriously thinking back on it the fact that this is routine medical advice. unreal

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summertimemusician · 6 months

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Linktober (Shadow) 2023

Spirit

Welp turns out my exam season throughly steam rolled through my general Linktober plans, so you get this VERY late thing for now folks who find this, at least until I decide whether to continue this until I finish it even though it's no longer Linktober or if I'll make whatever other stories come later their own thing after exam season is over (mostly because the original for this one is my preferred draft, and that I feel the one for the Link/Dark Link prompt would be kind of wasted if it just sat there collecting dust cause I worked hard on the tension and horror there lord darn it, along with a few others mainly involving Fae Hyrule, Twilight, Time, First, among other Links like Legend, Sky, Warriors, just all of the boys, I wanted to give them all proper spotlight and still want to do that in any way I can). Welp. *Downs coffee like a shot* Also really need to find out how to make a Masterlist on mobile, figure out how AO3 works and answer asks.

Anyway, not really any warnings this time besides Reader Not Being Okay (par the course really) and angst.

As always can be read as either romantic or platonic, Reader is gender neutral on purpose, technically is meant to be read as either Hero's Shade Time x Reader or First x Reader mainly, but you can interpret it as any Link really lol

Good reading!

This corner of Faron Woods was quiet this time of year.

The woods were solemn in this Hyrule, the sliver of moonlight barely enough of a guide through the mist, it was silent but for the soft padding of animals through the underbrush and the howl of a wolf in the distance (not Wolfie's, not musical enough). The stars were your only company as you were separated from the group, the air was cold agaisnt your skin as you attempted to find your way.

Being alone in the forests of Hyrule never spelled anything good for anyone, but as you felt the brush of a hand tenderly twined in yours, the ghost of leather and the faint clinking of steel, and a faint glow of pale gold and ivory cutting through the veil of the night, mindful of roots you may trip onto and never flickering too far out of sight you couldn't feel safer, even if instead something like melancholy threatened to lock your throat with the chains of silence, you felt as warm as the soft twilight glow and as frigid as ice, frostburned with the bitter cold of your own warring emotions.

You can't help but chuckle a bit whille holding a old scabbard close to your heart, it's a wry sound, "It's been a while, hasn't it?"

There is no answer, of course there isn't, but you don't mind, you know he'll listen, thorns wrap around your heart and crawl up your throat, the smell of lilies and steel coats and sticks in your throat like honey, or maybe blood, "... I didn't think you'd show up, you know? I always considered the possibility but..." You trail off, you feel something brush your side, you can only see him in the corner of your eyes or with a passing glance, there but not, existing but gone, so you keep your eyes on the road and in the flicker of light, so you carefully don't look to your side, you don't think you could contain the shaking in your heart otherwise, to stare at inevitability and prophecy, "... I know, I know you're fine. At least for now, I apologize for all the trouble I gave you."

'It's alright. It could never be a hardship aiding you.', the voice echoes in your ears, and you swallow thickly, breath hitching, the warmth of the sun in the fields of Hyrule, the wind caressing your hair, the song of the animals in Faron Woods, someone holding you carefully, fondly. The warmth of your hand in his. Not really here, but not gone either, more feeling than true echo.

You chuckle, and try to pretend it's not a bit breathless, something like a wounded keen, "... You're too kind. Too, too kind, thank you."

Spirits in Hyrule never spell anything good, in this wild land of light and shadow in a gestalt of divinity. There are some exceptions though, even if it hurts to witness then. So you follow him through the dark, certain that as you've guided his way once, he'll lead you now to where you need to go.

----------------------------------------------------------

... The clearing he leads you to is open, but by no means truly quiet among the trees, there is no peace to be found for the armored skeleton here. You choke on sorrow, on unfinished business, on the cruelty of being brought to ruin and being denied peace, and you stumble towards the familiar figure, almost in a trance as your vision blurs, roots and thorny vines wrap over rusted armor and a thorn cape, the skeleton's void sockets piercing through your soul, illuminated by the solemn gaze of the wretched moon and it's uncaring maids of honor in the stars.

You fall to your knees near the decaying skeleton, biting back against the wounded sound that attempts to leave your throat with enough strenght to bleed, you lay the scabbard by his side with a bouquet of lilies and shiver at the gentle, phantom touch, so soft, so loving it almost leads you to ruin all over again.

'... It's foolish to grieve for someone who isn't gone yet.' the thought comes to you, yet you can't help it. You still hurt for him, you still hold onto the fury at the heavens themselves for denying them quietus. For denying them rest over and over and over again. To watch this cycle and be helpless to stop it all due to the will of uncaring gods.

Alive. Dead. Alive. Dead. Denied full rest over and over again, to watch the chance at rest to the kindest of souls found in this world you found yourself in.

You barely register the touch to your cheek, ephemeral as it is, as you can't help but shed tears, can't help but grieve. Because if you don't, who will?

You know by now that some wounds can never heal, some rifts can never be mended. Even with the guarantee of cyclic, eternal rebirth, some things never return to how they were. And reminding yourself of this inevitability to them will never not hurt, even if you know it's futile to blame anyone but the one god who started this, and maybe the goddess who stood complacent to it. It leaves a bitter taste in your mouth that it'll one day come to this, that the frost of death and the sharpness of pain will leave a mark the sands of time can't scar over.

You reach a trembling hand towards the one in your cheek, try to find catharsis in the remains of decayed, dead yet ever eternal, ever growing love. And you breathe.

'We'll meet again. So do not mourn for me, please.'

You don't think you could deny him if you tried. Not when you know he's trying to soothe you, to thaw your sorrow. To allow your heart's healing to fallow.

"We will, I know. I'm sorry for making you worry." You chuckle, leaning into the cold, trying to brand the memory of the shadowed, but not gone love given to you so you can return it in kind. Just until you meet again, just until you can give all you can to his not yet decomposing self, grasping onto what remains of him, "I love you."

'I love you too. Until we meet again.'

The cold is gone, the echo of love leaves. And you breathe, and pretend you don't feel empty.

(When you see Link again, reuniting with the Chain on the next day's twilight. You hug him as tight as you can, and hope you he doesn't notice the tears in your eyes. And that you don't feel the lingering traces of a frigid embrace.

When no one is looking, you wave goodbye to the shade. And pray he dreams of warmer days until he finds quietus.)

#linked universe x reader #hero's shade x reader #linked universe time x reader #first x reader #hylia's chosen hero x reader #first link x reader #also know as What Happens When Summer Watches Corpse Bride after Playing MJM #I'll never not be emotional about the Hero's Shade and how it's an inevitability that Time will always die relatively young #how First died alone in the surface and likely never got a proper burial #And the fact we never learn what happens to the heroes after the task is done and THE ONE INSTANCE #we do is to learn they died young in some manner (ex Time. The Link before Hyrule. First.#Probably Twilight if we go by the theory Wolfie in BOTW is a spirit sent to help Wild #Technically pre calamity Wild because losing your memories is technically death of identity although that's for another story #and related to Lost #Most of the more effective LoZ games present themselves as either dark fairy tales and I'm running with that concept #Plus it's literally LEGEND of Zelda. Hardly do things end well for protagonists in actual legends and mythology involving gods #I think I have a right to worry #Anyway I'll probably elaborate more later because I'm tired lol #gotta perish to tackle studying and THEN be free to start on the pages long LU/LoZ essays /jk #unless?#we'll see #summer writes linktober 2023 #summer writes linktober shadow 2023 #summer writes #this short fic was also brought to you by the death holiday we have here in my country because it always makes me sad #and thinking of the Hero's Shade and what happens to First basically made it Depression times 100 lol

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burningapples · 2 months

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random hunches for s2 (or possibly beyond) from someone that has watched way too many cartoons:

1) Lilith is either going to be the big bad OR the Lilith we saw at the end of s1 is actually Eve/an imposter that’s gonna head down to hell and fuck shit up

2) Alastor might lean even more towards the antagonist role in an attempt to seem more powerful in hell. Charlie will have to work to pull him back towards his previous more neutral state.

3) Maybe more insight into heaven now that Sir Pentious has been redeemed. We’ll probably see pushes for change and get insight into who is REALLY in charge

4) More sinners will try to head to the hotel after word about Sir Pentious getting redeemed gets out. Charlie will probably have to deal with really shitty people and question her own ideas about redemption.

5) This might be more end of series-ish, but I think we’ll get a definitive answer as to what happens to souls that die in the afterlife. Maybe reincarnation, maybe they simply stop existing. We might get an actual answer tho

#Hazbin hotel #the only one I’m most confident on is 1 #bc long lost relative that is idolized usually comes back into the protagonists life worse #charlie morningstar #alastor #lillith #sir pentious

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superbellsubways · 4 months

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do u guys ever get a couple of ur mutuals confused/mixed up with eachother like they just give off the same vibe to you or have similar looking users

#not naming any in particular but theres a couple of mine i associate witj eachother even if they dont even know eachother its just like #u guys r like long lost relatives or something #Is this weird am i weird

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zabiume · 1 year

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it’s interesting how orihime essentially rejects tsubaki in the ss arc as a trauma response because she fundamentally cannot imagine dishing out violence she herself has been subjected to in the past, but it also brings up the question of why tsubaki exists in the first place if she was meant to be a traditional healer anyway, and the short answer is that she's not! not entirely. tsubaki is the teeny part of her soul that is capable of a great anger/a killing intent, but unlike ichigo’s rejection of his hollow/zangetsu, orihime does acknowledge tsubaki early on; she just doesn’t want to use him the way he’s "supposed” to be used. this creates an intriguing conflict, where orihime has some killing intent, but the only points of reference she has are the shinigami, uryuu (quincy), and arrancar who use theirs quite traditionally, so she’s not quite there yet in figuring out how she can use hers without compromising her fierce pacifism. this is why i’d argue that meeting hachi was quite formative for her, because there’s a guy who is not a fighter but still fights in a way that doesn’t take away from his nature. in fact, it’s kind of strange to me that this moment —

— comes before the 17-month timeskip and not during, but kubo loves a timeskip so i guess this was the most appropriate place to include this scene. post-lust-arc orihime has this realization that she’s sabotaging herself and those she loves by not capitalizing on tsubaki more. the obvious conclusion most people in her place would arrive at is that they need to reject pacifism as a principle entirely, but orihime is stubborn, so she comes up with shiten kosshun (her detonation shield) instead. she forges her powers based not on how they should be or are expected to be (more combative) but on how she wants it to be (a fighting style that is effective but still rooted in pacifism). i think it’s really cool how she has agency here, and isn’t pressured into giving up something that’s really integral to her being just so she can still fight alongside her friends (i also think this is that “something” rukia was talking about in ch 228, because rukia is well-aware of the kido corps, and as a kido user herself, she knows there’s more than one way to be useful on a battlefield and was confident they could have found it together with enough time and training). orihime’s self-actualization shapes her powers rather similarly to how shinigami’s internal motivations shape their own bankai, which @/troius talks more about in this excellent post. ultimately, she accepts tsubaki but on her terms, though it's unfortunate we never really saw him and the other fairies much physically after the time-skip.

#hachi and orihime is my favorite implied dynamic but at least 686 told us ichi/hime still stays in touch w the vizards #they should hang outttt; they should train together. [insert that one panel of rose talking about vizards being lonely &#that meeting ichigo & orihime was like meeting long lost relatives🥺#there's just something about the way those two made friends in every 'camp' so to speak because they're just...homely characters #arrancars..shinigami..vizards..fullbringers..freaking kon. the kurosakis dont close their doors to anyone #orihime inoue #meta

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bluejaysandblackbats · 1 month

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Five Stages of Mamma Mia

Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam

Summary: AU where Catherine Johnson (AKA Catherine Todd) is Jason's bio mom and Jason doesn't know who his father is. He engages in adventures while getting to know the men that could possibly be his biological father. I'm literally about to traumatize Jason within an inch of his life (literally) in the process.

Also, the five stages won't be in order probably because it doesn't have to be. :)

Chapters: 1/?

Characters: Jason Todd, Jason Blood, Catherine Todd Mention, Bruce Wayne, Willis Todd Mention

Relationship(s): Past Catherine Todd/Jason Blood, Past Catherine Todd/Bruce Wayne, Past Catherine Todd/Willis Todd

Additional Tags: Canon Divergent AU, Mamma Mia-inspired AU, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Long Lost/Secret Relatives, Father-Son Relationship(s), Jason Todd Experiences the Five Stages of Grief

Chapter One: Money, Money, Money (Denial)

Jason didn't go into Catherine's room for days after her passing. It frightened him to think he could go into the room and she wouldn't be there. It was a reality that Jason had to face. So, one night after coming home from the supermarket, he crept into the room. He was never barred from entering her room. It just felt like an intrusion to go in without her being there. The smell of vinegar and burnt plastic filled the room, but Jason was used to it.

He turned the lights on and stared at the suitcase at the foot of the bed. She'd had that bag for as long as he could remember, and he opened the battered leather suitcase. He wiped a few stray tears from his cheeks and swallowed hard. The first thing at the top was a photo of Jason at the zoo. It was one of many photos in the suitcase. Some Jason recognized, and others he didn't. Most of the ones he couldn't identify were from before he was born. Catherine usually dated her pictures, so Jason organized most of them. It kept his mind preoccupied. That way, he didn't have to miss her.

Underneath the first layer of photos was a diary. It was locked, and the leather faded from brick to a washed-out pink. Jason picked it up and held it to his chest. He'd only seen it once. It was Catherine's diary. Jason knew most people in his position would be excited to read their mother's diary, but he couldn't move himself to betray her trust like that. He still thought she'd come back somehow. Maybe it was childish to think she'd come back, but he figured people came back to life in Gotham all the time. For that moment, though, it felt good just to see something of his mother's.

He set the diary aside and continued digging through the suitcase until he found a photograph of a man with sunglasses grinning at a parade. Jason's mother wasn't in the picture, but he knew she had it for a reason. He looked at the back of the photograph for the date and noticed it was a year before he was born. He set it on top of the diary and lit a cigarette. He didn't think much of the picture until he found other photographs of the same man and a photo booth strip of Catherine with him. He wondered if they were in love.

In another set of pictures, though, Catherine was with Bruce Wayne. It was around the same time as the photographs with the other man. There weren't as many pictures of her with him, but she looked so happy.

It made Jason wonder what went wrong. Maybe he was to blame. Jason dumped the ashes on a piece of paper before noticing the ashes burned a hole in the page. "Darn it! Nononono," Jason whispered as he tried to put the page out. Once he managed to stomp it out, he looked at the paper and realized it was his birth certificate. "No," Jason whimpered.

He frowned and took another puff from his cigarette. He promised to kick himself for being so irresponsible later, but for the moment, he decided to finish smoking his cigarette. People usually gave Jason the worst looks when he smoked cigarettes, but they didn't understand the bitter taste of tobacco, and the smoke was well-earned after the stress he endured constantly. He never begged for much of anything and never complained. The cigarettes helped. Hunger, stress, anger? It all melted away with a simple cigarette. Jason decided he'd have to smoke two more to calm himself. Usually, he didn't smoke that much back to back, but things had gotten painfully stressful.

He finished the last three cigarettes in the pack before cleaning up and leaving the room. He tried to cook for himself, but his nerves were shot, and the cupboards were bare. So, Jason decided he'd go to the deli. He had twenty dollars left of their emergency money, and the "classic Italian" was only twelve bucks. Jason climbed out the window and onto the fire escape, involuntarily shivering as the cold air hit him. Jason absentmindedly stepped in blood from a crime scene that'd been left behind overnight. It sent a shiver up his spine, and he pointed his index and pinky fingers downward before wiping the bottom of his shoe against the wall. He didn't know where he learned it, but he knew it was supposed to keep his luck from worsening.

A man ran into him on the sidewalk and nearly knocked him over. "Watch it!" Jason yelled out. The man paid him no mind, and not too long after that, a police officer shoved him out of the way, knocking him to the ground. Jason got up and dusted himself off. "Pig!"

He stepped off the sidewalk and jaywalked to the deli. The man at the deli greeted Jason as soon as he came in. "The regular?" the man asked. Jason grinned and nodded. The deli was one of the safest places in Gotham. It was where his mother sent him most of the time when she had company. It happened a lot, so he and the deli clerk knew each other well. Jason approached the counter and tried to hand the man his twenty. "Figurati. Don't worry about it. How're you feeling?"

"I'm holding up," Jason answered as honestly as he could. "I can pay. I have—."

"No, today you eat for free. I haven't seen you... Is your mama better?" the man asked. Jason shook his head and sharply inhaled before a few tears escaped. He turned to leave out of embarrassment, but the man invited him into the back. The man sat Jason down and fixed his sandwich. "It's alright. Jason, there's no shame in tears. When did it happen?"

"A few days ago," Jason whimpered. He tried desperately to pull himself together as he watched the man work. The man washed his hands and started packing away soups and making sandwiches. "Mr. Bernardi, I can pay you for the sandwich. Really—."

"No," Mr. Bernardi interrupted in a stern tone of voice. It startled Jason, but he did his best to conceal his fear. Mr. Bernardi had a soft heart and a grandfatherly sweetness to him. "When's the last time you ate? Hm? And no lying."

"Two days ago," Jason answered. He bowed his head out of shame.

"Eat," Mr. Bernardi commanded. Jason obeyed. It felt good to have something on his stomach, especially since he ran out of cigarettes. "I don't like that."

Jason looked up and blinked absently, wondering how he'd offended the man. "I don't like when children are hungry. It makes my stomach hurt," Mr. Bernardi chastised Jason. He sighed when he looked at the tears welling up in Jason's eyes. "Here." Mr. Bernardi handed Jason a can of rootbeer.

Jason felt like he'd give way to tears at any moment, so he thanked Mr. Bernardi and got up to leave. Mr. Bernardi whispered something to one of his employees and she offered Jason a ride back to his apartment. Jason opened his mouth to turn them down, but he knew it was no use arguing with Mr. Bernardi.

Jason got in the backseat and the woman put a large order in the passenger's seat. She didn't say much. "Bernardi doesn't like a lot of people, but he likes you. He says you remind him of himself when he was growing up in Italy," she whispered.

Jason was too emotional to speak still, so he stared out the window. When they got to his apartment they both got out of the car and she said she needed to deliver an order in his building. They went in the front entrance and climbed up to his floor. He had an uneasiness in his chest that was confirmed when the woman handed him the large bag filled with food. "Bernardi wants you to take it... It's not charity, and he'll be offended if you send me back with it," she whispered. Jason thanked her and rushed into his apartment where he could cry without being looked at.

At least he wouldn't have to sleep on an empty stomach.

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