.ok thank you anon lemme take these 1 at a time… ur BLESSED
what are some of nate’s favorite foods?
southern comfort and texan bbq, good old fashioned strawberry rhubarb pies (like his momma used to make when he was real young) an american breakfast of bacon eggs oj and toast, stuff like that r his favorites lol. tho ironically hes not a big sweet tea drinker
what’s his favorite season out of the year?
spring or summer he likes watching things come alive and he loves hot and warm weather
how does he calm himself down from being angry/anxious/upset?
walks, flying, old spaghetti westerns, calling his kids, talking it out with a loved one.
did nate have a favorite tv program or movie growing up?
he loved old john wayne movies and other b&w westerns
how close is he to his kids?
he tries to be close with them but its still a hard relationship to navigate, considering theyre both fully grown and dont need the kind of parenting hes experienced with giving :( .they’re both adults with careers and lives of their own but they love nate, and nate loves them, and he’ll always be a part of their lives even if he cant be as involved as he likes. he calls them both once a week at least, to this day, to check in and talk about life, and theyre on and off over for holidays and birthdays depending at their life stages.
when he was with the jle how did he cope with being in that position of authority?
screaming into his pillow at night???? no but honestly nate did his best and wasnt half-bad leadership wise, lol, he just hated the paperwork that came with it which is why he stepped down and gave direct leadership to Catherine and Sue while he led from a field position. lol king
does nate like to travel?
he doesn’t hate it he’s just used to being a fucking hermit with no social life and associates travel with field missions and work lol. he has not been on a real vacation in 60 years
what kinds of places does he like to visit?
quiet places with lots of nature , hiking spots, off-beaten paths, rooftops, sometimes he hovers over his old family ranch that’s been sold off and changed hands about 4 times since he lived there in early childhood, lakes and rivers for fishing
does he buy brand names or generics at the grocery store?
GENERIC no question i hate it here rifp my old man!!!!! HATE IT HERE!!!
can he see why kids love cinnamon toast crunch?
absolutely not. his third eye is welded shut
Hello! I’m re-reading Nana and I realized I’ve never really understood a thing, so I would like to know your opinion since I really like your analysis. The day before dying, while he was talking to Takumi, Ren said he wanted to leave Trapnest, because he didn’t want to get the band into trouble because of his drug addiction. Then the day after, while he was driving his car and talking to Hachi on the phone, he said he was going to bring back Reira because he wants to protect Trapnest.
I’ve always been confused about this: do you think Ren in the end was really willing to leave Trapnest?
Sometimes I have the impression he wanted to get back Reira as his last “gesture of love” towards Trapnest, like to say “I will leave before getting you into trouble, but before I want to be sure you’ll be all together and will continue even without me, because I owe you this since you’ll be my mates and my family for 3 years”. Maybe because I am convinced that the mysterious present for Nana is a recorded melody that she would have transformed into a song, considering the fact that during his conversation with Takumi he said he wants to leave Trapnest even because he missed Nana, and he thought about the moment when she yelled at him “Stop writing songs for another woman!”.
On the other hand, sometimes I feel doubtful about Ren’s real intentions. Maybe he wanted to bring back Reira and then follow Takumi’s scheduled program to quit on drugs and return with Trapnest, even knowing that Nana would have hated him for this? It would have been pointless to try to quit on drugs if in the end he would have not solved the problems that brought him to take drugs.
I’ve always wanted him to get back with Blast, because I support Kinoshita’s thought: I want to hear Ren Honjo’s cry of the soul! It’s when Ren plays punk music that he shows all his talent.
Sorry for the looooong post, I hope you will have time and will to answer! ♥
I always have time to answer you @placebogirl7!! I’m so glad to see you around lately, even though I know the circumstances right now aren’t… the best. I hope you and yours are all safe and healthy and remain so.
You bring up a lot of interesting points though! My view, just from re-reading volumes 19-20 just now, is that Ren was quitting Trapnest but because he wanted to but because he didn’t want his drug addiction to harm the band’s image. Part of that image is making sure that Reira doesn’t run off and potentially harm her own public image. I think he is going to going to fetch her for Trapnest’s image and for Reira’s sake - as Ren says earlier in that conversation with Takumi, Reira is his best friend/soulmate (fan translations say soulmate, Shojo Beat’s version says best friend) - so I don’t think it’s mutually exclusive in that instance that Ren wants to protect the band by leaving and go bring Reira back.
I’ve thought about it for the last few days but I don’t think Ren thought about Nana saying “Don’t write songs for other women!” because it was his reason he wanted to leave the Trapnest even in part tbh. I think he thought about Nana in that moment because the reason he can’t quit is because taking them makes being apart from her bearable (not to mention not taking them puts him into withdrawal which inhibits his ability to play the guitar). I also think he has trouble facing Nana because he is so deep into the drugs that he can’t bear to let her see him like that.
But I also think that things had changed since Ren had that conversation with Takumi and promised to leave the band and Ren leaving to go bring Reira back (and I think even his final talk with Hachi on the phone might have changed his perspective of the situation too). So I don’t know that Ren would have gone through with leaving Trapnest if it’d have harmed Trapnest’s public image more than staying. If Ren hadn’t died… I have no idea if he’d have left the band or not.
I talk about it a lot but I think to understand what Ren would have done we need to see the conversation Takumi and Ren had when Ren first left Blast for Trapnest. What was Takumi’s pitch that made Ren believe in Trapnest so much? Was it simply Reira and her voice? In that case it has a lot of implications about Ren’s belief in Nana’s voice. As you said, Kinoshita wanted to see Ren’s soul cry in his music, in a way that it wasn’t in Trapnest. So what was it that made Ren join Trapnest?? I know a lot of people thought it was just the fame and a once in a life time opportunity but… I don’t see that? With the Ren we know, I don’t believe it. There’s something more to the story imo.
I know I’ve been talking about it a lot lately but I really do think a Ren side story chapter was planned and would have answered that question. The other bonus chapters were building up to it, I think. Naoki’s story told Trapnest’s origin story, as well as Ren’s. Nobu’s story told Blast’s origin story, but was less about Nana and Ren and more about Nana and Nobu - the two without whom there is no Blast. Takumi’s told us why Trapnest even got an origin story - Takumi’s need to protect the one good thing in his life, Reira and her voice. These stories changed absolutely nothing in the main story and yet…. they changed everything and I think a postmortem Ren chapter would have as well.
I also think knowing what Ren’s gift to Nana for her birthday would also answer an entirely different but related set of questions too. Unfortunately while I think whatever it is is somewhere textually in the chapters we have, I haven’t the foggiest what it was because there are so many possibilities.
But I gotta say I hadn’t realized I’d been wanting that for some time myself… For Ren to play with Blast even just one more time!! We only ever see Ren and Nana play music together in the prologue. For a couple who love their music it’s a travesty!! And to hear Ren play punk on top of that… And yet, now I realize with the amount of scathing Ren feels for Kinoshita when ever he says such things I wonder if I hadn’t been belittling Ren’s feelings for Trapnest and why he wanted to play with them above anything. Because it all comes back to why did Ren leave Blast for Trapnest in the first place? But even without an answer we know that Ren did feel absolutely loyal to Trapnest for his own reasons.
Eheh, no worries on the long ask… sorry for the long reply that basically amounts to “It’s a mystery~” But thank you for asking and anyone else!! Feel free to chime in with your own take!! Here or on the NANA & Ai Yazawa discord!!!!
Here’s today’s (4/6/20) Discord invite link if you haven’t joined already: https://discord.gg/7KMKyF
@twinkletoes-insert thank you for the soft ask(s) star 😊💖
Stiles: literally no one who sees the name on my wrist can pronounce it. It just seems like some fancy foreign name so the entirety of my childhood I’m thinking some attractive European is gonna come sweep me off my feet lol. I get some minor crushes here and there as I get older, but I never peruse them because they’re not the name on my wrist. me n stiles meet in highschool in probably some crazy way, like he nearly takes me out with his bat while investigatimg, thinking I’m the alpha or investigating, and is like. “ oh my god I’m so sorry I thought you were that crazy wolf thing. ” and I’m just like “ uhh it’s okay ” hdjdjd
We introduce ourselves and he tells me his name is stiles and I’m like ‘ah!’ But dont react because it’s not the name on my wrist so I dont think twice about it. Stiles on the other hand hears my name and knows it’s the one on his wrist, but doesnt think I’m the one because I didnt react to his own name. So he doesnt say anything about it at first, but it ends up driving him crazy. And he tells scott about it and scott is like ’ why don’t you just ask them ’ and stiles is all ’ I cant, what if it’s not me and I look like an idiot? ’
Scott tries asking me but I’m just like ’ stiles isnt the name on my wrist. ’ and it kind of ends there.
Nonetheless he ends up doing stuff like asking me to prom and eventually I join the pack n stuff. Initially, he spends time with me trying to figure out the name on my wrist, but he ends up actually falling for me and it becomes a huge mess. One night stiles is thinking about it and he realizes his nickname probably isnt on my wrist but his real name might be, which is why I didnt react to 'Stiles’. He solves it.
But with everything going on, he cant find the time to bring it up to me because it’s such an important thing and he wants to take time to address it. It isnt until the ghost riders come and noah mentions his son’s real name that all these memories come flooding back to me like a tsunami and actually triggers the breach thing opening. And I’m crying and looking at my wrist because we were soulmates all along and I never realized. By the time we’re finally able to address it we both have to go off to college, but we promise to stay in touch. And surely in the future we reunite and get together.
Theo: theo thinks the idea of a soulmate is stupid. He crossed a line through the name on his wrist a long time ago, thinking that he wasnt built for or deserving of that sort of thing ever since what happened years ago with his sister. So he closed himself off completely, focusing more on his goal at hand of manipulating the McCall pack. On the other hand, I remain hopeful – things happen, i meet scott and stiles, join the McCall pack, etc etc. I have the name 'Theodore’ written on my wrist but I never meet a Theodore. That is, until I meet Theo – he 'joins’ the McCall pack and attends beacon hills, and I start thinking that it might be him. One day I get the courage to ask what name he has written on his wrist. He lies, saying he doesnt have one, thinking maybe they died or something. and I just say 'oh’ and I move on. A part of me doesnt believe him, but Theodore is a somewhat common name, so I sit on the idea that it may just be someone else. Liam doesnt though. I sort of vent to him about it and brush it off, saying maybe next time it will be the right one. Somehow, likely by accident, Theo and I form a friendship anyways. We become close even tho he wouldnt admit it. And I never ask about the nane again, but it’s clear I start getting feelings for him and vice versa. In all this, Corey accidentally finds out that Theo does have a name on his wrist that hes hiding, but he cant see if it’s my name or not, he just sees theo covering it up, so instead he tells Liam. During season 5, Liam begrudgingly tries to get Theo to reveal the name on his wrist multiple times but Theo still beats around it, saying it doesnt matter.
“ the name on your wrist. its Lyell, isnt it? ”
“ I dont have a name on my wrist. ”
“ then show me. ”
And theo reluctantly does. And Liam rubs the makeup away and it reveals my name. He tells Theo to just tell me already, because he clearly makes me happy and he’d rather that then see me never find my soulmate, even if it is theo. And theo hesitantly ends up deciding he’ll allow himself this, even if he feels like he doesnt deserve it. So he tells me and I cry. It would have a happy ending! Hsjnss
So basically for A Universe, there is an au that I made where it’s all mean and shit, right?
Except the only actually bad thing is one little detail not happening, which fucks everything up.
Now, you see, that detail is the timeline split.
At some point, Snow (the good one) decided to actually meddle in things, which was the worst and the best thing to do. She decided to split the three timelines to avoid a collapse of the system, as, remember, A Universe is all in her head.
So they split, making Snow split as well. We got Lumiaela, the one who is really nice and just wants to make the best of her inevitably ending existence, and we got Snow, later Snowstorm, who is a bitch and wants to see the world burn, as all love for the worlds was lost into Lumiaela.
Three timelines came from this.
- Lizzie was healed by Nightmare, before being taken away by Snow. Pastellium starts on the 4th anniversary of Alyicsa, and Snow had no control over this one. Lumiaela pulled her strength together to help Aly out.
- Lizzie was never attacked, instead being guarded by Snow. This is where Noctern, Ordexa and Pasts missing finger segment comes from, as some weird connection happened. Truthful Lies starts when Lizzie discovers Nightmare, but Snow did have control on this one. Lumiaela split to this timeline, making it an access point, but a weak one, since Lumiaela held her magic, making it somewhat self-aware.
- Lizzie was attacked, but Nightmare pushed down the urge to help. Memories of Hope (wip title) starts as Chaoxa opens the door to Tazer’s workshop, starting CLx and MoH. Snow has a lot of control, because of the string stuff in the background, and the lingering magic.
So in MoH, the magic is strong. It is an eternal battlefield, with no real end, until the Ultimate encounter, when Timeline gives up.
Now, the au is as follows:
As Nightmare is a being of evil in this timeline until a special event, she likes to… play, with the others. This is where Past’s behaviour comes from, as she was at one point the same entity.
However, Timeline is more deranged. So she keeps Lizzie with her. Lizzie is pretty weak, and has always believed in second chances, so she stays.
Lizzie is constantly attacked but healed, and gives up as well. At that point, Snow realises the shit she pulled, and kills it, but leaves some mistakes.
This is the place Snow fucks up.
In A Universe, it is never said what happened in the previous world. The only ones who know are Ordexa, by extension Noctern, Lumiaela, and Lix. Lix keeps it a secret, but her actions imply she does.
The only things they say are that “it was a hellscape”, and “nobody wants to know”. Nocterns fear of being around Lizzie for too long stems from this, as they remember it like it happened yesterday.
Even Snow admits to regretting it. Snowstorm has said that “where I’ve been, the Strings have not been nice. Your stupid fear of spiders is a cuddly kitten.”
NOW THE PART I ACTUALLY WANTED TO TALK ABOUT
So, the Aware people admit to it being a hellscape, Noctern is scared of Lizzie, and even Snowstorm regrets it.
I know this is my own story, but… could that au be it?
Like everything lines up. Snow wants to create a world, she fails, creates another, makes a mistake, and fucks up again, now technically worse. It lines up.
I am sorry for the long post. I’m gonna make a post about Snow / Snowstorm, because I love them too much :/
so I have really bad allergies, right? they’re so bad that sometimes I wake up in the morning and my eyes are so swollen, I can barely see. in particular my left eye is prone to getting styes and ends up all gunked and inflamed and just fucking hurts. and I either have to keep a hot compress held against my face, which is hard to do when I have to type all day for work bc now I have one hand and no glasses, or just wear an eyepatch and suffer it hurting marginally less, but still hurting, and then also not being able to see for shit and my depth perception being fucky for the rest of the day
so this fuckign FISH
sneaks up on me at my battle station where I’m struggling™ trying to type Important Work Emails one-handed while gingerly holding one eye closed
and just drops this on my keyboard
so basically when I make a dry hot compress, I usually take a washcloth, pour some rice in it, tie it shut with a hairtie, and microwave it
this fuckign MADLAD just??? sewed a little pouch full of rice and made me a hands-free hot compress eyepatch??? that’s thin enough to wear under my glasses and still microwave-safe, so I can actually live my life until my eye unfucks itself???
I don’t deserve this woman
You’re fine! I was kidding at the end of that other post (I’m assuming same anon lol). Anyway.
Possibly, but probably not. Gackt loaned his face (and voice in the JP Ver. of Crisis Core) and wanted the red coloring, but there’s only one person that’s ever been credited with the design of Genesis’ character, and that’s Nomura himself:
However, Gackt is a massively successful artist whose image and music is heavily protected, so he’s likely got quite a bit of monetary stake on the economic side of things.
In short: change the face and voice, Genesis becomes dramatically less expensive and probably is completely fine to use. If FF7R sells really well, then they might renew any contract that’s lapsed or w/e and use Gackt-as-Genesis. Squeenix is pretty tight lipped about this kind of stuff, so only time will tell.
Hideo Kojima, Konami, and the Metal Gear series is probably a more clear example of moral and economic copyright tbh.
On a funny/mildly related note regarding copyright: Fucking tons of people associated with John Carpenter wanted him to sue Hideo Kojima for how much Metal Gear Solid rips-off Escape from New York. But Carpenter never did, because he “knew the director of those games” and thought that “he was such a nice guy — or at least, he’s nice to me.”
So uh, maybe be nice to people, it could save you a lawsuit one day lmao.
Quick, cheap, disposable mask tutorial.
These masks exist for one purpose: to give them to strangers who you think are potentially spreading sickness. There’s some social engineering put into this.
So you’re making your one shopping trip a week and there’s a lady near you who’s in your space and breathing down your neck. This is designed so you can reach into your purse, hand her a mask, and say, “Can you please put this on.”
You’re not asking. You’re not offering. You’re telling her to put the mask on.
While I want to assume that everyone who isn’t wearing masks is not
wearing masks because they can’t access them, I have made this pattern
with the awareness that many people aren’t wearing masks because they
believe it to be unnecessary (because Bernie Sanders is a robot and
Italy isn’t real), so there is absolutely an element of
attempting to encourage non-believers into wearing a mask to avoid being
This mask filters as effectively as a cotton reusable mask (maybe better!), but it’s visibly disposable. This negates the “I can’t take your handcrafted handiwork,” excuse that someone might give when refusing a mask.
If the person you’re giving the mask to accuses you of taking PPE away from hospitals, you can calmly say, “I made this so that I can give them to people. I’m giving this one to you. It’s for everyone’s safety.”
Also, these really don’t take very much time to make and they’re extremely inexpensive.
You can also make these for your family and friends. The masks can be washed a couple of times and reused, but they’re mostly disposable. This makes them great for people who tend to lose stuff all the time (like kids), or if you don’t have the ability to wash your masks regularly, or if you would just prefer disposable masks. These are also a great option if you can get the towels at a store you’re already going to, to avoid having to make a stop at the fabric stores and exposing yourself to all of the nonsense that’s coming from Green Store allowing 40 people to pack next to the cut counter like sardines.
And, who knows, maybe that person you gave this to actually wasn’t able to find a mask, and will be grateful for your gift. I have no faith in humanity, but that doesn’t mean you can’t.
You need to start out with a roll of shop towels. There was a studio in LA that found that hydro-knit shop towels were extremely good filtration. We’re going to save the hydro-knit towels for people making masks that need extremely good filtration, and we’re going to use Scott shop towels. They’re a carded-web nonwoven; they are washable and reusable, but also disposable. Each mask takes roughly 1.5 towels, meaning you can make 36 masks out of this $3 roll if you want.
Shop towels will dull your fabric scissors, so use your paper scissors when cutting them.
You’ll also want a ball of string. I’m using Sugar and Cream cotton knitting yarn, because I already had it on hand. It doesn’t stretch, is a good thickness for tying a bow into, doesn’t slip when tied, and doesn’t irritate the face or ears. However, string from whatever hardware department you got your shop towels from will probably work. I’d avoid sisal, but that’s about it.
You’ll need to cut two pieces of towel that are each 8″x9″. It’s okay if one of the pieces has the perforation for the towel to tear away, as long as the other piece doesn’t have a perforation. Stack those two layers on top of each other.
(My image shows cutting a 16″ piece of towel and then cutting it in half)
Make a few pleats in the front of the mask. Leave about 2″ between the top of the mask and the first pleat. You also want to make sure the bottom pleat doesn’t hang over the bottom of the towel.
The folds of the pleats should point down towards the bottom of the mask.
Your total piece is probably around 5″ tall at this point.
Flip the mask over (so that the pleats are now facing upward), pin the pleats in place, and fold the top of the mask down and pin. We flip the mask over and pin because it will allow us to do most of the sewing in one step, which saves time and labor.
Sew up one side, across the top, and down the other side. You can leave the bottom open like I did, or you can sew a line across it. If you’re feeling fancy, you can put a folded up piece of aluminum foil in the top of the mask to work as a nose wire. I’m assuming that whoever I give these masks to is going to just throw it away, so I skip this step.
Fold the sides in and sew a line of stitching to hold each in place. This will make the channels for your tie string, so leave yourself some space and don’t sew the tops and bottoms closed.
Cut a piece of string about 50″ long. Thread the string down one side, take a u-turn at the bottom, and feed it up the other side. This allows you to put the string behind your neck and then tie it at the top of your head. It’s a lot more efficient to tie it on this way than to use two ties.
Elastic is a rarity these days, so save that stuff for masks you’re making for healthcare workers or for people you actually like. Random mouth-coughers in Walmart get string.
And there you go! Takes less than 50 cents to make one, takes less than 10 minutes to make one, and layers of fabric over your face protect others better than no fabric over your face.
This pattern is modified from the Clover mask pattern. The modifications are to make it faster to construct, and to take advantage of the fact that shop towels don’t fray.
If you’re making several disposable masks for personal use, you can pull the string out of a mask before you throw it out, and thread that string through a new mask. It saves you some money on string that way, since the string is largely uncontaminated.
Remember, when offering a mask to someone, hold it by the very edge, and offer it in such a way that the person taking it is less likely to touch your hands.
Be safe, make a basket full of these, dress as if you are a magical being, and go distribute them to strangers in Target. (Actually, don’t do that. Stay home unless you need to go shopping).
Your headcanon made me chuckle, it’s official as far as I’m concerned!
- He’s addicted to wine, and has been since he was young
- The first mask Albert made was from wood he stole from Samuel. His brother was angry at first, but then realized that letting Albert have the wood was the least he could do for him
- He enjoys hunting rabbits and deer…a lot…too much
- He tried to woo Ida before Samuel even met her, but he could never catch her interest
- This, of course, is because Ida knew his future and what he’s able to do, but Albert always blamed it on the injury Samuel gave him
- While Mary favoured Emma and Samuel over him, Albert was James’ favourite
- When he was still alive, James told Albert all about the family’s pursuit of immortality, and the sacrifices it would require
- He learns from Ida that he would be killed by Emma’s son, and tried to get rid of him in an effort to change his fate, but kept him alive to eventually collect his sacrifice
- Albert made an effort to collect the sacrifices from his family, in hopes that he could gain immortality for himself
- He created Rose for the sole purpose of collecting her sacrifice, but soon became protective of her
- Rose was the first thing that made Albert feel something in a long time
I found a LOT of bug pictures while looking for pics of Momma. I’ll share them now.
Here’s my best pic of Momma.
Here’s Momma and her babies
The biggest Roly Poly I ever found. Here in Texas, we call them Roly Polies
I found this cute little guy on the side of my friends’ house
Here’s Sticks, for some reason, he would always move from the bathroom to somewhere else. Reminds me of a time when he was walking on my ceiling so I literally stood on my bed and tried to grab him carefully but he fell from my ceiling and I called my mom into my room to get her to help me get him because I didn’t want to accidentally kill him. Mom came in and grabbed him, yes, I was completely still before she grabbed him. He was fine after the whole ordeal and he went on to have babies with Momma.
Speaking of which, here is Sticks and Momma. Sticks is on the left, Momma on the right.
I found this little guy at my old school, I’m hoping it can be identified
Here’s a spider I found in my bathroom that I named Goldie.
Here is Tiny. Idk if this was the dad of the first eggs Momma laid.
I found this thing in Florida. It looks like an American Cockroach but I know it can’t be because of what appears to be stripes. My dad has told me Palmeto bugs look like American Cockroaches.
I would have posted the other photos as well but I’ll do that in another submit since I can only post 10 photos which sucks. So consider this Part 1 of my creepy crawly album.
@symbi-that-one-parasite These are all delightful! Especially Momma and her babies. And also the very large woodlouse and wolf spider below it. Goldie is a lynx of some sort, probably a striped lynx though I can’t see him super clearly. The one you found at your school is also not very clear but perhaps a triangulate combfoot? Palmetto bugs are just another name for some cockroaches. That one is an Australian cockroach. I don’t know why it’s called that because it’s not originally from Australia and is fairly common in the Southern US!
Thanks for sharing all these pals, hopefully I didn’t forget any you wanted IDed. :)
At the same time, please take care of yourself, if you need to take a break from drawing to focus on your life/health please do so! Your mental/physical health comes first! I hope you have a wonderful day!!!! 2/2
My gosh thank you ;;—;; Honestly the reason I started posting so much again is bc I (and i assumed the rest of you) needed a distraction and I’m so SO happy to hear that it helps you even in the slightest! Comments like this seriously fuel me - I can’t say words will but I LOVE!!! That you love my stuff and that you can take happiness from the things that make me happy !!
I am taking it very slow nowadays tho, because it is hard to find energy, but hey all I have is time and rly my social accounts (And ko-fi especially) have kept me from just staying in my bed doing nothing so!! I appreciate you!!! And all my requesters! So much!!
THANK YOU again for this sweet sweet message, for your request, and for being here with me!! ^^ (also I am totally doing your first request suggestion bc i never get tired of that content!)
This will be listed in chronological order of the timeline, not the order they are in on Disney+/DVDs as they were released out of order.
Including some of my general commentary and episode specific warning.
GENERAL WARNINGS: Clone Deaths, Warfare, Corruption. The Conspiracy Arc is not on this even though it is a magnificent tragic Fives focused arc. It is a tragedy and I recommend it but cannot put it as an exception because everything about it hurts.
Season 7 is watch at your own peril. It is the build up to Revenge of the Sith and overlapping into it.
Now that I’m stuck in quarantine and have time to think, I’m having a hard time deciding if I regret past actions of mine or not.
I never told anyone, but I received a lot of shit back in my school days. The kids (younger or older, doesn’t matter what grade) always knew I was such a fragile little glass ball and they all took full advantage of it (except for my close friends, BLESS THEM).
Back in…maybe 4th grade, maybe, we were to make volcano models and reports on volcanoes. Now during this time, my family and I weren’t in the best financial situation. We got screwed over and we were low on cash. So my project wasn’t the best looking one. It was literally a shoe box, a fruit cup with shreds of construction paper and some red beads. But I felt like my hard work and dedication on the report itself would make up for the crappy presentation.
To my teachers yes. To my peers, no.
They taunted my project, made fun of it. A group of kids even tried to pick it apart while I was reading another kid’s report. I was pissed, but mostly heartbroken. I wasn’t mad at my parents, just mad at those kids and whoever their parents were. Yes, even at a young age, I adopted the “just shut up and make do with it” mindset pretty quickly. Not a fantastic mindset, but it helped me survive the rest of elementary school.
I learned to not express my opinions, to just. Agree to what everyone else thought was “popular” (I have grown out of this phase however, thank god. I can form my own opinions now). Because what I liked was nothing they liked and I was desperate to have a friend or two.
Middle school was the worst. The absolute worst. Due to more financial situations, I couldn’t online school through the eighth grade and had to go to public school. My mum gave me the option to choose anyway, but I chose to go to public school since she wasn’t the happiest person and I just wanted to make her happy (and yes, I also had the mindset of “just do this to make this person happy”. Also not a good mindset. My other family had a unhealthy habit of pressuring me indirectly to do things. Don’t let that happen to you kiddos.).
I can barely remember any good moments. The only true friend I had was a girl who went to multiple of my classes and liked everything I like. We fell out of touch a while ago but she was my saving grace then. Bless her. But there was a lot of “move aside pipsqueak” in that school (they didn’t say it, rather it was conveyed by shoving and stares.). Middle school was the most terrifying thing for me ever. There were two kids in my writing class who would pick fun at me the moment I sat down. Picked fun at my art, my clothes, just EVERYTHING. The littlest things. They are what broke me.
It was then I developed a really, really bitter attitude whenever I was at school. At home, kind, shy Sakura. School-time, someone who snapped at every mean gesture directed towards me. Name-calling? I called them names back. Trash talking? I made a group of people know all their nasty secrets. I learned to take a punch and bite when I had to. Every insult was met with rude words. I admit, this was not my proudest time. I regret being such a little prick. But I only acted like one when I had to and only to those affecting me. It was out of defense.
But everyday would leave me exhausted and depressed. I’m glad I’m healthier in the head than I was before. I’m glad I learned new things and dumped those old habits. I may have seemed like some edgy person but honestly, this was me being done taking so. Much. Shit. Over the years.
I don’t know. Quarantine makes you remember things you don’t wanna think about again.
Social Distancing Tag!!!
(tagged by @chrome-wind tysm!!! i love being tagged in stuff 😭💕)
1. Are you staying home from work/school?
Yes, unfortunately. They closed the plant I work at and only gave certain ppl clearance to go in
2. If you’re staying home, who’s with you?
uh, my two cats and my fish! i live alone :c
3. Who would be your ideal quarantine buddy?
probably my friend ban, but he’s 9 hrs away and essential 😭 or maybe my sisters? but ones quarantined to her campus and the other is also essential
4. Are you a home body?
oh heck yeah
5. Any event you were looking forward to that got cancelled?
I don’t know if movies count as events but I had planned to go to the Mulan movie that got postponed to like, November
6. What movies have you watched recently?
Arjun, Tarzan, uhhhh Sweeney Todd, and Count of Monte Cristo 👀
7. What shows are you watching?
I don’t watch any shows
8. What music are you listening to?
uhh according to my history? Ursine Vulpine, violin covers, Mystery Skulls, Khalid and Marshmello stuff bc they have nice voices 😭
9. What books are you reading?
uhhh I don’t really like to read either :c I did buy a book called Darksiders: Abomination Vault but I haven’t read it yet. i should
10. What are you doing for self-care?
well, I repotted some plants/planted some seeds, LOTS of cleaning, videogames (mostly ESO), trying to doodle but I’m just not inspired >:c but sometimes the best self-care is just a hot shower tho tbh
tagged by: @mirai-trunks-briefs 💖 thank u!!
Instructions: tag 10 people u wanna get to know
Name: Luka or Lukan!!! or any other nickname ive acquired lol
Gender: oof uh, girl, ig? I used to ID as nb but idk anymore 😭
Star sign: Aries!!!
Height: 5'4 on a good day
Hogwarts House: uhhh I haven’t been into hp for like 8 years but I think I was a hufflepuff?
Favorite animal: BIG cats. snow leopards and panthers specifically 👀
Average hours of sleep: oh I don’t even know. 6-7? this quarantine has me all messed up now
Current time: 4:32
Dogs or cats: I love both but I think I am more of a cat person
Blankets: there are…. So many….
Dream job: i don’t know anymore. I think I’d enjoy landscaping or maybe work outdoors or smthin?
When I made my blog: oh god. the year was…. 2010? idk for sure but I’ve been here a long ass time. I was like 11 when I made it
Followers: 560 smthin. it fluctuates a lot
Why I made my blog: me and three friends were goofin around and made them. my first username was hows-it-hangin-batman lol
gonna keep it real, idk who to tag but ill get a couple of u 😭