#longer post

[eddieintheocean]

i feel like this is very importantTM to say, you dont need to be an expert in your special interest

marine biology is my special interest. i suck at identifying fish. i can identify one fish but only because i spent ages fixating on it. i couldnt tell you the scientific name of anything else.

when i was in primary school most of my information came from the octonauts since i wasnt allowed the internet, it was still my special interest then even when i hardly knew anything.

having a special interest doesnt mean you immediately become amazing at whatever it is, and thats totally ok. its ok to forget things, to not know things, for other people to know more about the thing. thats part of the fun, theres so much about everything to learn and improve on.

in my personal case there are thousands of scientists who know more than me. i may know more than my friends, but im 17. there are scientists who study the ocean for a living and its perfectly reasonable for them to know more than me

the only thing that matters is that it gives you energy, that you enjoy doing it, that its special to you

#actually autistic #marine biology #but not specifically #special interest #neurodivergent #neurodivergence #autism #longer post

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

okay but actually kavetham is so interesting to me from a solely canon standpoint rather than the theyve been married for like 10 years in my brain because

they used to be friends. haitham actually considered him a friend once, in his own perspective, in his character stories. and i think kaveh says something along those lines too in vultur volans.

edit: kaveh says the following...

they had a large argument & fell out during a project they worked together on during their akademiya days. the only research project haitham ever did. the project that gave haitham his (very nice) house later on. It was supposed to be their house, for both of them. kaveh forfeited it and haitham only learned this once kaveh sent someone else to inform him and the akademiya.

then once he goes broke haitham decides to just take him in??? has him just pay rent and do chores??? because "As far as Alhaitham is concerned, Kaveh is a familiar face, similarly lacks familial attachments, and is the polar opposite of himself as a scholar — that is to say, an excellent mirror. Human vision is limited, but it can be perfected through the presence of another genius." ?????

im literally going around in circles trying to find out what the fuck is going on here

#longer post #swearing cw #kavetham #haikaveh #genshin spoilers #since not everyone might have read his character story 4 yet

[giac222]

Something sweet that I noticed is that Andrew does not like seeing Ashley sad, here are some examples:

Then he kisses her head afterwards. 🥺

This is one of my favorite moments in the game:

“This episode is titled: Andrew and Ashley and the Home Sweet Home Invasion.” They’re so cute 😭

Then there’s this:

After that he goes on to praise her cooking like crazy and talks about writing a “shitty poem” about it. 💚

Another funny thing about this scene is the part where Andrew is like “And yet the meat is drier than her lips, quarter past midnight.” like hello??? 👀. After that Ashley asks if she should buy lip balm, she was sooo oblivious there 😂.

I love them fr

Me when Andrew finally tells Ashley that he loves her in episode 3:

Lmao

#i’m so normal about them #the coffin of andy and leyley #tcoaal #andrew graves #ashley graves #nemlei #kit9 #gravecest #coffincest #andrew x ashley #ashley x andrew #leyley graves #andy graves #leyley x andy #andy x leyley #the brainrot is real #they’re my pookies tbh #longer post

[nerdlordofnerds]

Man honestly one of the most dreadful things honestly about the Amazing Digital Circus is the fact that Caine is just like, not malicious.

Like yeah he is unhinged and uncanny with his godly powers, but he also just doesn't understand a lot and still tries to make peace of mind for them in his own machine learning ai way that you may expect.

Like, Humans freak out about not knowing their own name, and for some reason he can't fix their minds to remember so instead he's gonna help you get a new one! Whatever you'd like to have!

Humans need stimulation? We can have fun adventures! You wanna sit out? Don't worry, you can! He didn't even force Kaufmo to join in on the whole theme song they were doing at the start of the episode, he let him not show up and continues on.

He's the Ringmaster and normally you'd have this whole thing of an evil force is forcing you to be here amd you're trapped by their whims, but he isn't. He's a part of this like you and whatever you'd like to do he wants you to have fun with it!

If he was some horrible entity keeping you trapped and forcing you to join his circus then honestly the dread might even be lessened, you'd have something to fight against, to have a purpose for.

But he isn't. You're here in this world, you're essentially immortal, you can defy logic and perform crazy stunts, you don't need to eat, sleep, drink, or anything to survive. It's basically a utopia right? But if there is no reason to do anything, nothing you need to be alive at all, why are you alive? What do you have to see and look forward to going forward? The wacky adventures made to keep you from going insane with no true purpose that means anything?

Just a fun little 2 cents on it I had. I love this pilot and honestly the final scene of slow realization for Pomni at the end that "Oh my god, this is all there is now, this is my life" is one of my favorite moments in media and gave me chills.

#the amazing digital circus #personal #longer post #the amazing digital circus spoilers #Yeah sorry for random text rant lmao

[blogalreadydoesntexist]

more more nimona thoughts

okay so!

peep the background! theres (more notably) a trans flag, but you can also see the colors of the genderqueer flag between the two buildings. (note that this scene is focused on nimona and trans allegory and trans allegory and-)

i always questioned the use of this shape but! its the eye highlight for nimona and gloreth (before the betrayal) and bah bah bah im stupid and pretty art distracts me from looking from pretty art

the use of nimonas shapeshifting just fucking s. she goes from big, scary, brutish to looking so comparatively fucking small i just i cant god fuck god shit i miss my silly ha ha daughter son

no fucking gif of it but the fact that ''ballisters sword'' shatters here from Not Very High but when he drops the actual sword off of Very Probably Fucking Height it just clatters and oough pufferfish noise also i only realized now that ambrosius dropped his sword (im too busy crying for silly big brown eyed silly cringefail dad shhhh)

the fact this establishes 'nimona will do pink stuff as a sign of her existence' for the silly ha has, that yeah shes just being a goober and acting and then she doesnt have a speck of pink on her for ambrosius showing how mf dedicated (other than the death but cmon shes nimona) she was to the fucking bit like damn and she was improving most of it too since i doubt they realized the director was going to be that..violent?? uncaring?? anyways i just i need ballister freaking out over the fact that 'she was willing to kill him'

i love how all the knights have silver armor while ambrosius has nearly all gold and ballister has neither also id like to note that he took his sword from the cart by hand even though we saw the squire getting onto another knight for doing so also how ballister, little fucking geek he is, IMMEDIATELY noticed 'hey, what the fuck is up with this' when taking his own sword also how the squire called him 'mr ballister'

my baby. god. she (especially in this scene) in the whole flash back scene acts A Bit Too Much like me when i was really interacting with people for the first time (i talked to one singular person and was too timid to talk to anyone else amd god how wasnt i diagnosed sooner)'

hes such a fucking dad holy shit ambrosius hadnt even done the 'what is she' and hes still being so fucking worried over her AND ambrosius hes such fucking s god also i love how the eye thing is reoeated throughout the movie for nimona

cough cough i adore. its placing of 'item here item there' but it just it fucking i s okay? fuck. i love how it places 'true villian' a normal amount okay? singing killed my grandma okay?

crying and sobbing and shitting over the referece to the comic and they fact that even in the movie alone they still look related i just i fucking????????? Mine.

im so fucking normal (i am not allowed to speak when we watch things but my ass picks up on so many little things or consistencies that i just Need To.)

#longer post #ive gotten 31 damn notifications just while writing this my ass is going insane with 'the people agree!?!?!??!' #nimona #nimona movie #nimona film #gif #media analysis #kind of barely sorta #I FORGOT TAGS FUCK PISS BALLS #ballister blackheart #ballister boldheart #ambrosius goldenloin #going to s

[sevspins]

am i the only only person that really likes love on the spectrum?

i feel very represented by many of the people on the show who display some of my traits and some of my higher needs, i enjoy watching them because i relate to them and before i was in a relationship with my current partner, i understood what they were going through.

i always see people saying they hate the show because they “don’t feel represented” (namely people with lvl 1 autism) and that is valid but i also think the point is to showcase people who are at higher risk, who cannot hide it, who cannot just mask. and also there are lvl 1 autistics on the show so you are represented, they just aren’t the focus or the majority being shown.

im not saying everything the producers do in regards to editing is good (not at all) but i do enjoy it and i do feel represented by it.

#actually autistic #level 2 autistic #autism #love on the spectrum #high support needs #representation #disabled #longer post #scary to post #autistic community #level 1 autism #level 3 autism

[smol-stardust]

Don’t forget the moments, where the little things made me smile.

The secrecy of suckling on ixora blossoms, the crimson mingling with sweetness. Orange kindergarten hat crooked atop your head, remember the first moment where you strayed and broke rules but felt an utter bliss in nature.

Never touch the engine exhaust of the motorcycle after grandma shuts it off, and the billowing wind in your face all through the back alleys of the guava farms. And when your mom showed you the little gem inside a hibiscus that same summer, and plonked the sticky yellow bit within on your nose, the laughter you shared.

When you hid away, scared of being left alone as the adults forgot that you were still small.

Remember the evening motorcycle rides on grandmas motorcycle and that same summer, where your mom showed you the hidden joys lurking within hibiscus flowers and forgetting the flat tires of your bike as you trekked along, a yellow sticky stub securely stuck to your nose after your mom fetched it out the hibiscus flower. The sweet perfume of the rice fields in the pink skies. The tippy toe reaches with pruning scissors as you chomped away at guavas on grandmas farm at 5 in the morning.

Don’t forget being different, it’s not a bad thing. Remember that you were scorned for your different foods and items, but also remember that the differences make you, undeniably you.

The cool bleak void of how human inhumanity can be, how sometimes human are the most pitiable inhuman creatures that scorn you. Let the bitterness linger when you feel dark, and remember even bitterness have antidotes and be the antidote to the bitter inhumanities you feel.

Feel the cool breeze and squeeze of stubby fingers against your own. The gooey softness of marshmallows melting on your tongue. Blissful, and the smiles of friends as you bask under the moon

Remember watching your mom alone yet kind and caring for you. And when things feel hopeless remember she too had felt that way as she cherished you. Remember the perils and how you’ve loved words yet hated them and remember that a weapon is only a weapon if you allow it. Turn the words around in your head, and decide if you will hurt or heal.

Giggle at the fortune of never getting in trouble that time you sacked a senior student after they mocked your friends and shoved you. Question how fate spared you that day but giggle at your victories and how obviously right you were.

Remember the waves and rocking off the boat under the sunset when you won that regatta, the sweet yet bitter lingering of matcha as your friends gathered for chado.

rough blisters digging into your skin but how rewarding they felt as you sat atop the highest branch, reading in serenity.

Feel the overwhelming scent of sunscreen everyday that summer as you entertained the tiny army. A ghastly mix of sharpie, alcohol markers and sunscreen etched into your skin as the little ones displayed their love in the form of potential skin cancer but oh so adorable doodles all over your body. A reminder that you are loved.

Soap suds and the intense burn of plastic on the improvised slip and slide for the kids, pretending that you didn’t pin the plastic picnic math into the grass with scissors. And the sweet horrors of being hosed down by kids for the whole afternoon in the sweltering sun

The burns of sliding down the stage barefoot before a band concert and plonking on your face as all of us giggled, glad we’re hidden in the back as drummers and the silly cowbell and woodblock solos everyone scorned, yet we found solace in.

Remember my aliases throughout the years, four square champion, surgery queen, snoopy fanatic, and eventually, the sweet tender child calling me mom at camp.

The overwhelming sea breeze as a child screamed out mom and everyone paused, a warm blanket of fluffiness in you. The rest of the summer your name forgotten, just the sweet echoes of mom, or cwoach echoing on the seas and over the playground. A sweetness lingering at your little army and how they nurtured you as you learned to nurture them in return. Remember the doki doki thumping as you received the rainbow loom bracelets and warm embraces from those stubby arms. Yet you still question to this day, what is it with the little ones always nuzzling their faces into your butt in particular, an awkward feeling, yet a gentle pure fondness that exuded from them

Hallways rendezvous to my snack locker after my victory of fixing a printer jam, the warm papers in my hands, chemistry booklets piling everywhere. That last year of high school with the Forbidden blue Gatorade and grape juice, how I had to chase my dear friend away as we joked about drinking the colourful chemicals, or when I squealed as I felt an unfamiliar coolness touch my hands, all from a drop of acid and carbonate in a test tube, the laughter and half serious comments of flogging the silver harvested in labs on the black market. And that final day as I bid farewell to my chemistry mom, heavy green book in hand as she passed along a piece of the chemistry shenanigans onto me.

And feel the anxiety in you right now as you crawl into the voidal abyss of exam season, and remember the then and the now.

And look in to the future, remembering and changing and growing while always keeping your roots planted firmly.

#spilled words #this ended up being me thinking about 17 years worth of things #it’s kinda sweet actually #putting this department cuz it got super super long #sparky’s.poems #longer post #spilled stardust

[renmackree]

Derek character game

Character Inbox Questions: Open

favorite thing about them

Derek has all the makings of a villain origin story and yet he chooses to be kind and helpful. He could be the biggest pain in everyone's side, but he chooses love. Yes, he was a bit of a power-lust crazy wolf in season two, but he STILL. HELPED.

least favorite thing about them

That he's in Bardo with Nogi waiting to be rescued.

favorite line

"It's not about power, it's about being able to help. I don't like feeling helpless."

brOTP

Derek & Anyone who isn't going to use and hurt him

OTP

Sterek, Derek/Happiness

nOTP

Derek/Kate

random headcanon

Derek's not completely helpless, but he doesn't actually know how to do laundry properly so he gets dry cleaning done. It's also why his wardrobe is similar shades.

unpopular opinion

Derek's birthday is December 25th. I just like middle child with holiday birthday.

song i associate with them

Make Me a Monster - World's First Cinema  "You wanna make a monster Somewhere to you put your rage Whenever you need to scream you can kick my cage Breaking me into pieces Building me up again Breathing me back to life just to curse my name"

favorite picture of them

The Outfit™️

#character analysis inbox thing #longer post #welcome to the hale mouth #inbox games

[2383-lines-of-code]

my opinions on ppl Mori could potentially acquire with the deal:

kunikida: a bad option, his ideals would be a headache for Mori to deal with

ranpo: maybe, but not much would really change for him character wise and he’d probably be uncooperative without fukuzawa

dazai: definitely a possibility, he is an ex executive after all and it would be interesting for the ada members to see him revert to his old ways

kenji: he hasn’t been shown to be particularly righteous, just friendly, so he’d probably be easily manipulated into doing mafia work as long as it doesn’t involve harming his friends. Plus his ability is useful

tanizaki: plsss, dark tanizaki arc when???? would love for asagiri to explore his dark side more

Naomi: mori has been known to take hostages (beast gin most notably) but tanizaki would definitely flip his shit. maybe Mori uses that for manipulation purposes to gain both siblings tho it’s unlikely

sigma: if he joins the ada it would be perfect for the cycles of abuse themes (narrative foil for kyouka??)

atsushi: idk honestly, does the mafia even still want him? he’d never kill anyone willingly, but if pushed to like in dead apple… he could slide down the slope of killing more and more ppl for justice bc after the first couple times, what’s one more?

kyouka: not rly smth I want to see since it would undo all her recent character development

fukuzawa: wouldn’t rly make sense plus all the ada members would be moving heaven and earth to get him back

#bsd #bsd ramblings #bsd thoughts #longer post #been thinking abt this a lot lately

[eeveecraft]

The Pros and Cons of Following a Single Tulpamancy Philosophy

When it comes to Tulpamancy, especially with the perception of tulpas as a concept, there are multiple philosophies that the community has created over the years. The two primary philosophies being:

1. The Child Philosophy by Cjero

2. The Friend Philosophy by The Dragonheart System (us)

Both aim to create a base set of principles on how tulpas should be viewed and therefore treated. Both philosophies were created years apart from each other when the community has overall changed quite a bit, and on different subsections of the Tulpamancy Community that hold slightly different ideals. So, it’s important to keep that in mind when comparing the two.

Cjero's child philsophy mostly focuses on treating a tulpa's development like the development of a child, but sets the connotation of a tulpa being akin to a child and therefore (even though this shouldn’t be the case) implies a lack of mutual respect and can downplay a tulpa’s ability to be independent. The way they write about protecting a tulpa from bad thoughts, or “vaccinat[ing]” them by gradually exposing them to negativity feels very infantilizing. It forgets that the tulpa is inhabiting your brain with you (a most likely adult brain), most likely has access to all your memories, and therefore is already well-aware that the out-world can majorly suck. However, it’s focus on being patient with a tulpa like a parent caring for a baby is a good message.

Our philosophy focuses on the idea of treating a tulpa like a friend from a faraway place, emphasizing equality and mutualistic exchanges, but does not account for relationships that are familial or less common. How we tackled development with this philosophy was having the idea be that your tulpa is from a foreign place, and therefore needs help getting the hang of things. But unlike a child, the tulpa is treated with a higher degree of respect and already has a vague sense of what needs to be done to adapt (like learning the local language, i.e. vocality, etc). We try to avoid the demeaning connotations this way, and from the feedback we got, everyone liked it.

Now, what are the pros and cons of just picking one and sticking with it? Well, for cons, you limit your viewpoint. You limit the ability to take what you like that best suits your system’s needs. Maybe you like the level of delicacy and care the child philosophy emphasizes, but are not a fan of the infantilizing of the tulpa. Maybe you enjoy the emphasis on mutualistic friendship with the friend philosophy, but your relationship with your tulpa wouldn’t really work as a friendship. If you stick with only one, you may very likely find that there are things missing that you wish were there. Another con: these philosophies can become outdated. The Child Philosophy very much reflects a different time in the community where equality was not as much of a focus, and despite how hard we tried to make The Friend Philosophy timeless, I wouldn’t be shocked if it also inevitably becomes dated and does more harm than good. If you stick with a stagnant ideology in a changing world, you’ll likely fall behind and suffer for it.

For pros: choosing one philosophy is definitely simpler, as each philosophy is contained in a single post. Another pro is that each philosophy is subjective and you don’t have to follow them to a T. But overall, I’d say deliberately choosing a single philosophy to follow has more downsides than upsides.

Note: I found some more philosophies later on after writing most of this, but they’re mostly metaphysical/religious, which wasn’t what I was going for when talking about Tulpamancy philosophies. We don’t really cover metaphysical/religious topics here, but I wanted to leave this addendum in case you want to check them out yourself.

What was the point of this post? I don’t know. I was bored and felt like checking on these two philosophies and decided to compare them. At the end of the day, these philosophies serve as guidelines, not strict rules, and you can use them as starting points for your own philosophy. What matters is that you treat your tulpa like a person. Anyway, hope you enjoyed, and this is proof that this blog isn’t dead.

12-27-2023

#tulpamancy #plurality #endogenic #actuallyplural #longer post #comparison #friend philosophy #child philosophy

[smolfangurl40]

So I was curious

Most fandoms I've been in have had "the fanfic", AKA the one fanfiction that most if not all fans know about.

Examples of this are: Like Father Like Son in the ROTTMNT fandom Repeated Consequences in the LMK fandom and For the Forgotten Ones in the UTMV fandom

So I wanted to know if there was a fanfic in the Sun and Moon Show fandom that everyone knew about, but I didn't want to just ask on Tumblr or TikTok since my content doesn't get too popular on either platform unfortunately, I wouldn't get the responses to know.

Instead, I went onto AO3, and looked through the tag, completely unfiltered.

Results are based on the number of hits the fanfic got, and I'll be linking them. Also, all fics listed will be from when I see them and when this post was made (September 20th, 2023), some of them are incomplete at the time that this post was made. Now here are the top 5 fanfics under the Sun and Moon Show tag on AO3.

Kill Code, You Are the Father by I_See_Four Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Language: English Word count: 92,063 words Chapters: 38/42 Hits: 7,485 Summary: "An Alternate Dimension where KC tries to build his family and connect with his sons. Due to miscommunications and general Kill Code shenanigans, it's a rocky road but attempts were made. Lunar gets caught in the middle. Just when things are looking up, old conflicts and threats of alternative dimensional possibilities come back to haunt them. Diverges from the Sun and Moon show lore roughly around "Bloodmoon and Killcode TEAM UP?!"." https://archiveofourown.org/works/48245161/chapters/121668802

According to Plan by TheDeadBread88 Rating: General Audiences Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Language: English Word count: 38,786 Chapters: 13/? Hits: 6,898 Summary: "What if Eclipse made yet another mistake? Would he learn from it all?" https://archiveofourown.org/works/44699914/chapters/112465711

Stress Relief by DotPixel Rating: Explicit Archive Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Language: English Word count: 15,383 Chapters: 5/7 Hits: 6,435 Summary: "Dealing with his overflowing emotions, Sun seeks out to kill Eclipse once and for all. He wasn't expecting to make a deal with the other in the process." Personal warning before you read this: The creator doesn't view Sun and Eclipse as being related at all, but they added the incest tag for whatever reason. Maybe because most people who read it will see them as siblings? I'm not sure. But warning for that. https://archiveofourown.org/works/45441583/chapters/114331249

Archives of the Celestial Fairies by Meg_le_Shark_Bean Rating: General Audiences Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Language: English Word count: 57,499 Chapters: 18/? Hits: 6,220 Summary: "Do you believe in fairies? If so, come along and take a peek into the magic-filled lives of the Sundrop fairy and the Moondrop fairy! This is a collection of one-shot stories following the many adventures and shenanigans of the celestial fairy twins! A majority of these come from prompts received on tumblr. Needed tags and warnings will be applied in notes but each story is relatively safe and readable for most audiences." https://archiveofourown.org/works/46332712/chapters/116652244

Daycare Nommin' by Sephypsychologist Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Language: English Word count: 22,501 Chapters: 17/? Hits: 5,709 Summary: "a collection of cute fluffy vore stories (unconnected) with Sun and Moon as preds" Personal warning before you read this: It's literally just vore. It's not even sexual. It's just vore. https://archiveofourown.org/works/37929703/chapters/94723831

#sams #tsams #the sun and moon show #sams fanfic #tsams fanfic #the sun and moon show fanfic #sun and moon show #sun and moon show fanfic #longer post #this took so long

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

okay so. like. wan ed 12. dazai is stopped by a log in the river and starts actually drowning. funny haha wan bit.

but repeating something ive said (hi haven) i think this is actually a really good example for how ada dazai doesn't really want to kill himself. he could've actually drowned here. thats his 'goal' right? but the moment it starts happening he's trying to get his head back above water.

"I thought I was dead"

hilariously wet and horrified or not he obviously didn't want to die here. theres nobody around to hear what he said anymore anyway. and that's why, despite being yk... a wan ending animation? i still think this is such like. a case in point.

#i think its obvious from how unlikely to work his other attempts are in the ada #things like the oil drum or the mushrooms. asking woman to commit double suicide. all of that has such a low chance of working. its- #-humorous even. when he meets atsushi kunikida gets there shortly after. even if atsushi wasnt there he was DEFINITELY not planning on dying #anyway this is aether taking things too seriously and getting ill about it #im not saying ada dazai isnt still aiming to die we've all talked about the martyr behavior #but hes not really trying to die via suicide #anyway shout out to my bestest friend haven(-gum-rockrose) for sending me a song for the dazai playlist which made me ill and then prompted #me to find this clip later in the conversation #which then lead to me talking here #hurrah 🎉‼️ #longer post #theory time w/ aether #it's not actually i just want to find this later

[giac222]

I’m an Ashley Graves lover and defender till the end 🤞🏻🩷.

This is going to be a deep dive and a pretty long post, just a heads up! There’s a point in the beginning where I briefly discuss something else regarding TCOAAL because I felt that it ties in, but this post will mostly be focusing on Ashley + her experiences, and a little about how Andrew isn’t actually a doormat, not even close. 😶

Let’s get into it:

I adore her and I have the biggest soft spot for her, my empathy for her is through the damn roof. She’s a product of her environment, she wasn’t born the way she is (Andrew wasn’t either). It’s frustrating to see people claim she was born evil. I’d go as far to argue that she isn’t completely evil either. Her soul is the color of pitch black according to the demon in the game. But why is that? What caused it? The reason for this is because of how she’s been treated by everyone else around her throughout her whole life. It’s not like she asked or wanted to become a “tar soul”. Her environment made her sour, it made her hate people.. including herself.

After Ashley sacrifices the warden to the demon, when she’s thinking to herself, a text box comes up that says “You decide not to linger on the fact that your soul is apparently a vicious, pitch-black mess.” and after that we see another one that says “Guess you already knew that”.

I was thinking to myself, why the hell am I so attached to this character? Lmao. Why do I have such a huge soft spot for her? Then when I was thinking about it I realized it’s because I relate to some of what she’s been through. Especially her terribly low self-esteem that causes her to feel unlovable, ooo that hit home for me. For quite some time I dealt with that, and let me tell you, it truly is an awful feeling. It can make you very mean and bitter. It quite literally eats away at you. I’m 22 now and I’m able to reflect on those past experiences, that’s when I realized how bad it really was. When it comes to someone having poor self-esteem and not much self worth, it stems from somewhere. People don’t just randomly start hating themselves, there’s something that causes it to happen. It could be from a variety of things such as trauma, childhood experiences, comparison to others, and discrimination.

It truly sucks to see how many people online that seem to hate her (not on Tumblr, but almost everywhere else). Her backstory breaks my heart, it’s tragic, and it seems that people completely ignore what she’s gone through and what she STILL goes through.

I also hate that the game has kind of, in a way, become a meme due to the controversy. This game delves into very serious and depressing topics, so for losers online with 0 media literacy to water it down to “the incest game” is sooo agitating. This is just a personal opinion of mine, but I also feel as though the controversy made people play the game for the wrong reasons. Including a lot of “edgy” teenagers 😬. I don’t think I need to elaborate on that, I’ve touched on it before in a different post. I mean the amount of loud and wrong takes I’ve seen about the game… All I can do is shake my head 💀.

So, I’ll share my (maybe?) controversial opinion that some of the “fanbase” is part of the problem too, not just the people who hate the game that don’t even know what’s going on. I’ve talked about this before so I’ll keep it brief, but I feel it fits in the post so I’m including it. But on the game’s subreddit there are people who will reduce the game itself to fap material, and it doesn’t make sense to me because there’s quite literally nothing overly sexual or explicit in the game?? Even in the questionable route vision we don’t see anything explicit, we just know what happens. I’m like have y’all forgotten that this is a PSYCHOLOGICAL HORROR game?? How some of these people managed to reduce Nemlei’s work that she clearly put a lot of thought and effort into that covers dark topics and serious issues to fap material is beyond me…. What a way… just what a way. Let’s hope they get weeded out of the fandom before ch. 3 drops 🙏🏻.

Just to clarify so no one gets confused, I’m NOT referring to people who create NSFW art/posts of the game, like duh you guys know I love Ashley and Andrew 🤭🤭. I know what I’m about! 😂. Seriously though, I’m referring to people in the Reddit community who will quite literally just take people’s NSFW art (any fan art in general really) and upload it there without the artist’s consent. It just seems like the NSFW stuff is the only thing a lot of them care about, and the shit they say is so unhinged at times I’m like???? Seek help. (Obviously it isn’t all of the members, but it’s definitely a lot speaking from my personal experience there before I left). In a way, I can’t blame outsiders for side eyeing the fanbase if that’s their first impression.

Between the amount of haters TCOAAL has and some of the questionable “fans”…. Yeah, we’re in the trenches 😂. That’s part of the reason why I left the server and now only participate in the Tumblr community. Not even trying to gate-keep or sound like an asshole, but a lot of the Reddit community doesn’t fit the game. I said what I said! As I’ve said before in a previous post, most of the trash takes I’ve seen on the game stem from there, and YouTube too. 😬

TCOAAL is a game that requires you to think and dig deeper, that’s why I love it. It touches on very heavy topics. Tbh it’s not something you can simply take at face value, that just defeats the purpose.

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s talk about Ashley! 🩷✨

When you pay attention to all the details and look deeper into Ashley’s character, you see that Ashley has quite literally been treated like shit her entire life by EVERYONE around her except for Andrew. That’s why it’s so easy for her to treat people as disposable, because that’s how SHE was treated her entire life 💔.

This scene specifically proves that:

Andrew really is everything to her. That boy is her sun, her moon, and all of her stars. 🥲💚. We see that he’s her main, and basically only source of happiness. He’s the only thing/person she cares about. I find it genuinely heartbreaking that he has been the only person Ashley could depend on throughout her life. Due to this, it makes sense as to why Ashley goes to such extreme measures to keep him around. if she lost him, she’d have no one else. So of course she’s scared that he’ll leave her. Even though we know he’ll stick by her side no matter what, Ashley does not. She’s quite literally the love of his life but she doesn’t know that. 😩

Then again, Andrew doesn’t show it, so of course she doesn’t get it. He’s never said I love you back to her, the closest we get to that is when he says “I like you… but you’re so exhausting” after their huge fight. If you look closely at his face in that scene, you’ll see gray blush lines on his cheek. Ashley has been abandoned by everyone except for Andrew, she needs validation and reassurance from him to know that he’s there to stay. He doesn’t really give that to her though, but he needs to STAT! As I said, we know he’s in it for the long haul, but Ashley does not.

You see, Ashley operates under the idea that Andrew doesn’t actually care about her. She believes that he couldn’t love her of his own will and that she has to manipulate in order for him to stay. I hold the opinion that she doesn’t do those things because she necessarily wants to, she does it because she feels like she has to in order to keep him around. She manipulates, but she isn’t very good at it 🫣.

Thinking about their huge fight in apartment 302 after Andrew killed that lady (she definitely did not attack him first, but we’ll get into that in a minute). When Andrew’s choking Ashley she brings up the fact that she’s the only one who can make his nightmares go away, but guess what we see in ch. 2? Before going to snoop on the cultist, if you go back to their motel room and you interact with the bed. A text box pops up that says “oh yeah, you tooootally have nightmares as often as you claim.”.. So, we now know that Andrew doesn’t actually have that many nightmares, he uses it as an excuse because he wants to sleep next to Ashley and be close to her.

Back to the apartment 302 incident, when Ashley goes back to that apartment after completing the ritual, she sees that Andrew killed the lady that lived there, he claims she attempted to attack him with the nail gun, but the nail gun was in the same damn spot! People should’ve started side eyeing him at that point in the game. I know I did LOL, “doormat extraordinaire” my ass 😂. Btw, there are people who genuinely believe he tried to sleep with the lady in 302, but she wouldn’t do it so he killed her….. 🤦🏻‍♀️. I wish I was joking.

Anyway, in Andrew’s dream when we go over the justified deaths, with the lady in 302, the first reason he mentions is “Ashley would have wanted to kill this one anyway” then he brings up no witnesses. To me, the fact that the first reason he mentions is Ashley wanting to kill her anyway showed that he killed her for Ashley more than anything. I mean, It did make Ashley happy that she died. He didn’t say anything about getting attacked, although it was obvious that was a lie already lmao. I believe that’s why he got so frustrated, which led to him getting pissed off after Ashley started accusing him of trying to sleep with that woman. Especially because once she started, it escalated quickly and she just kept going.. He was like “girl??? I literally killed this woman for YOU.” I could be wrong, but that was my interpretation on the situation.

Another interesting thing I thought about was how during their argument, Andrew tells Ashley to butt out of his love life, and that she always makes up some bullshit crisis for him to leave/stay when he’s out or about to leave to go meet up with someone. But in the flashback with Julia during his dream, while she’s raising genuine concern and mentions that it could be good for Ashley to learn some independence for her own sake. Also for Andrew to stop cutting things short on her, for the sake of their relationship, and so they can spend more time together. Andrew responds to that with “If your sister needed something, wouldn’t you go?” 👀. Andrew likes Ashley being dependent on him, he doesn’t want her to become independent. During their heated argument he admits to knowing her so called crisis she has before he leaves is “bullshit”. Yet he still chooses to leave to be with her anyway. Because again, Ashley’s the love of his life, people can deny it all they want but the proof is right there lmao. Not to mention he looked so sad hugging Julia until he asked her to tie her hair up… I see right through you Andrew 😂.

Also, him bringing up Nina’s death (Julia’s best friend) and lying to Julia’s face about it like he had no part in it, that was actually scary not going to lie 🫢. Plus him lying about Nina’s death affecting Ashley…like you know damn well. After their huge fight, Ashley said she was glad that Nina choked, which Andrew responded with “I know you are”.

That’s the thing about Andrew, he’s very good at lying and we see multiple examples of this in the game. When they were at their parents house Ashley decided to stay quiet because she couldn’t keep up with Andrew’s lies. In a different post of mine I talked about how “Andy” was a facade, but Ashley doesn’t understand that yet. She thinks he’s changing for the worst, but in reality he’s always been that way. His true colors are just now finally coming out.

Andrew and Ashley both had a shitty upbringing. I mean Mrs.Graves made Andrew take care of Ashley when he was a child, and I remember in a flashback he asked Ashley if she wanted to go with him because their mom gave him money for groceries, like ma’am why are you making your child go out to buy groceries??? Also, at the end of the day, she sold them both to organ harvesters. However, Andrew was treated somewhat better than Ashley during their childhood. We see this through the plushies in the puzzle before the questionable route vision, if you set Ashley’s plushie down at the table she immediately falls off. At their parents new home during dinner, Ashley sat on a mini ladder while everyone else had a chair, and simply the fact that Mrs.Graves gave Andrew their new house address, but didn’t give it to Ashley. They always shut Ashley out, they never cared about her nor did they try.

Now, let’s talk about one of, in my opinion, the saddest parts of the game. The flashback of Leyley’s birthday 🥲.

We see that neither her parents nor her friends cared about her birthday, they didn’t even try. She looked so sad talking about her friends here 😭. The fact that she brought up how her friends are always busy when she asks them for something shows that this is a recurring thing, her friends suck. I am in tearsss. I’m sick rn, she deserves everything and more. Andrew attempted to make her birthday special for her at least 🥺.

Also, I know Julia seems sweet from what we’ve seen, but I’m suspicious of her tbh 👀. We know Ashley hung out around her and Nina. I remember seeing one of the screenshots from a progress report where Andrew asks them if they could invite Ashley to sit with them sometime at lunch, so I’m assuming that’s how their “friendship” started.

Nina had a crush on Andrew, and Julia ended up dating him later on. I think it’s possible they only hung out with her just to get closer to Andrew. Julia wasn’t a very good friend to Ashley it seems, so it makes sense that she wouldn’t be thrilled about them dating. Especially because Andrew is the most important, well, really the only important person to her.

Something else to think about when it comes to people in Ashley’s life outside of Andrew: After Andrew killed the warden to protect Ashley and before they left their neighbors apartment, Ashley tells Andrew “I don’t give a rat’s ass about mom or dad. Or any of my so-called friends anymore.” and “Not one of them felt it necessary to answer my calls…”. When she says this she looks very upset. So, even in present time, Ashley still gets treated like shit by everyone around her except for Andrew, this has been an ongoing thing since her childhood.

Next up is this scene with Mrs.Graves while setting up the ritual:

This was after Ashley says “Lookie ma! I drew a circle!”. Mrs.Graves immediately starts putting her down. Ashley’s response to what her mom said shows me that this is something that commonly happened. I’m sure there were many times in Ashley’s life where she’d attempt to impress her mom and receive praise, but would immediately get shut down by her instead. The more I think about how terribly Ashley was really treated, the more sad I get about it, what the fuck 😭.

Ok, last thing to dissect. I wanted to talk about this comment from a YouTube video that came up under the “all” section on there. Beware, it might make you lose braincells. 💀

“Ashley is heavily sexualized” let me stop you right there ✋🏻 lmao. No she is not. At least to me she isn’t, I never got the impression that the game sexualized her. A lot of male players sexualize her (because of course they do 🙄), but the game? I disagree. You could say Ashley views herself as a sex object, but that doesn’t mean she’s sexualized by the game. She views herself that way because of her low self-esteem and the fact that she doesn’t believe someone could genuinely love her. Not to mention her internalized misogyny. Source? I’m speaking from experience. Having terribly low self-esteem really does drive you to dark places. It can lead to you basing your self-worth on people finding you sexually attractive or just attractive in general, like your self worth is based on your looks alone. That’s how you get validation even if it’s from a not so good place. It wears off pretty fast though, and it leaves a poor after taste. It’s only a temporary “good” feeling. If you don’t like yourself, no amount of attention will be ever good enough for you or truly make you feel better.

“Goth-esque fetish ware”, first of all it’s “wear”, and the “fetish wear” in question is just shorts, a black shirt, and a choker 💀. I cannot lmfao. Does that mean Andrew has “goth-esque fetish wear” too? Bc him and Ashley literally dress the same 😂. Not that this matters, but Ashley and Andrew are more emo to me lmao.

“She’s definitely a manipulative psychopath”… opinion immediately discarded because of this part of the comment alone.

“Her heavily sexualized existence”…. Don’t piss me off 🙄 like??? I can’t believe they said that. People with a brain larger than the size of an atom know that Ashley’s entire existence isn’t sexualized, I’d argue that it’s quite literally the opposite. It’s almost like they want Ashley to be this seductive sex kitten, but she just isn’t that. They project that onto her. I feel like some people think that Ashley simply existing with a bigger bust means she’s automatically sexualized, some men feel this way about women with bigger busts in real life too, so them doing it to a fictional character doesn’t shock me. Worms for brains I swear.

The comment Ashley makes about her “big fat tits” in the motel room during her mini argument with Andrew was literally so unserious. There’s the scene where Andrew was lying on the couch in their parents house when Ashley wakes him up out of his dream, and we see him looking at her boobs from his POV. However, that was literally so mild, you hardly even saw anything lmfao. I feel like Nemlei added that in to show that Andrew’s sexually attracted to her, plus it was a little before the scene where Ashley playfully bites him, and (in my opinion) where they almost fully crossed the line (because of Andrew mind you) before their mom came in. We all saw that pillow placement 😂. There are other signs of him being attracted to her before that as well, like when we see him push the thought of hugging her to the back of his mind “where it may fester with all the thoughts he wish he never had” + that scene in the kitchen where he was sort of touching her butt and had his fingers through her belt loop, but when their mom came in he jerked away and looked as if he got caught.

People will claim that Ashley is the only one that’s incestuous and that she “forced” it onto Andrew, but in ch. 2, we see that Andrew is arguably more incestuous than she is. Ashley loves Andrew to death, but she isn’t exactly horny for him the same way he’s horny for her. Think about their reactions to the questionable route vision. Ashley was pretty chill about it, while Andrew was beat red and embarrassed because his repressed inner thoughts just got exposed. The demon clocked his tea 😂.

I’ve spoken about this before so I’ll keep it brief, when it comes to sex Ashley doesn’t care much about it and views it as transactional, as something she can use for personal gain. As I kind of said already, to me, her viewing herself as a sex object and having that view on sex in general ties into the fact that she has internalized misogyny and her personal belief that she’s unlovable. So, not only does she view herself as a sex object, but you could say that she also views other women as sex objects too.

This is my personal opinion which I’ve shared before, but when her and Andrew fully cross the line (because they’re definitely going to) and he finally shows her that he loves her as well, I think her views on sex may change a bit. That she’ll start seeing it as something out of love that they can both enjoy. As something they can experience together, instead of her ignoring her own desires and being his personal sex object to use to attempt to keep him around.

Do I think that Ashley isn’t horny for him at all? Tbh no. I mean she literally says she assumed it would happen between them eventually anyway, so she’s definitely thought about it before. However, it’s nowhere near Andrew’s level lmao. We know Ashley is a virgin and honestly, I think Andrew is the only one she’d happily lose it to. If she were to sleep with anyone else, I doubt she’d enjoy it and would only use it as personal gain for something. As of right now, she views sex as a way of keeping Andrew around, however, I feel this is because of the fact that she doesn’t actually think he loves her and will stay with her on his own. She loves Andrew and wants to be with him, she wants him to reciprocate her love. As I like to say, Andrew’s her boo 😂, that girl doesn’t want anyone else.

Alright, let’s finish dissecting that goofy YouTube comment.

“practically puts the usually male players protective instincts into overdrive.” I don’t know wtf this means lmao, but it made me cringe. Some men need to be banned from speaking on Ashley until we figure out what’s going on 😂. Bc every time they speak on her I lose braincells. “Protective instincts” yet they quite literally don’t understand anything about her character or her struggles 💀. Maybe sit this one out lmao.

Not to sound like a broken record, but a big part of Ashley’s character is that she has very low self-worth and that she doesn’t believe people, more specifically Andrew, could actually love her (💔). I mean think about how she’s been treated for her whole life, it makes sense as to why she developed those feelings about herself and others. Her mindset is “well people never cared about me, so why would I care about them?”. Having people regularly treat you like shit takes a toll on your self-esteem and impacts your world view. Especially if it happens in your childhood.

Ashley quite literally loves Andrew more than she loves herself. I want better for her :’( and she deserves better too. I don’t care about the Ashley haters opinions. There are people who believe that she’s faking her low self-esteem in order to manipulate Andrew….. 🤦🏻‍♀️. Have you even paid attention to anything in the game?? That’s one of the biggest things about her character like hello?

I should have added this in earlier oops, but I’m adding it in now. After her and Andrew first talk to the lady in 302 and they leave her apartment, Ashley asks why the lady got special treatment but they didn’t, and why she didn’t get any food. Andrew responds with “maybe you just aren’t pretty enough”, he wasn’t being serious, but she took it that way. It didn’t help that he said “I mean… wasn’t she?” After Ashley asked if he thought she was pretty. That’s why Ashley wanted to shoot her after the ritual. You can see Ashley looks upset when she asks “do you really think I’m not pretty enough?”. Then gets angry and says “So ugly am I, that I shouldn’t even be fed?”. This is her insecurity and low self-esteem kicking in on full display.

This is a similar situation to what happened when her and Andrew were looking for something to lock Nina in the crate with at the warehouse. She asked him what he thought about Nina and if he found her pretty. He said “she’s fine… I guess”, which made Ashley unhappy. Even though Andrew wasn’t into her, like at all. Ashley has been dealing with insecurity and low self-esteem ever since she was a little girl 😭. I’m so upset for her like you guys have no idea.

After Ashley traps Nina in the crate, there’s a point where she’s crying and says “It’s not fair!! Why does everyone like her better??” “I’m loud and weird and annoying and no one likes me at all!!!”. 😭. My heart is breaking as we speak. It’s hard for me to believe she said all of that just to manipulate Andrew in that scene. I know in ch. 3 we will be delving more into their childhood, and I have a theory that Ashley was also bullied in school. I mean to refer to herself as loud, weird, annoying, and to say that no one likes her at all. That absolutely came from somewhere, and I don’t think it was just from Mrs.Graves.

So, to see people with the emotional depth of a raindrop get online and say that she’s solely the problem, that Andrew needs to get rid of her, and that she’s simply just evil… is, to put it lightly, very annoying. I’m gonna say something, you know I love both Ashley and Andrew, but we need to be honest! People give Andrew too much of a pass. I mean they literally excuse all of the terrible things he’s done and blame Ashley for “making” him do it. They give him a pass for everything, but have 0 empathy for Ashley despite everything going wrong in her life since she was born. They completely ignore that she’s a product of her environment. When it comes down to it, what good experiences in life has she really had?

Also, Andrew is more violent than Ashley is. I think that’s self explanatory. People seem to forget that she quite literally just wants to live a peaceful life with Andrew. During the “quarantine” while they were still in their old apartment, she says “Aside from the starving, it’s not so bad here.” and “Aside from starving, I like it here”. Ashley doesn’t want to live a life of violence and chaos, and we see this in the room before unlocking the door that leads us to the two burial route choices. If you place the knife down (violence) nothing happens, but when you place the flower down (love) - (my bad guys originally I put heart instead of flower, I changed it!) - the door becomes unlocked. She also gets upset when Andrew tells her that they can’t live at their parents new house, she literally doesn’t want to be on the run and just wants stability.

On Pinterest, I see girls talk about how much they hate Ashley in the comment sections. They literally just do this because they think Andrew’s hot 😂. Especially when they call her a bitch, like grow up 🙄. I’ve also seen people refer to her as a “pick me”?? Literally how? Immature teens need to be banned from playing this game LOL. It’s giving those male celebrity fandoms that dig to find anything “problematic” on a girl said male celebrity is dating just because they’re pissed it isn’t them, they don’t actually care if she’s problematic or not.

It’s literally just misogyny, they do this a lot to women in media. Breaking Bad is the biggest example of this, the people that act like Skyler White is worse than Walter are delusional as hell. Sorry, but If you’re misogynistic, lack empathy and/or emotional depth, TCOAAL isn’t for you 🤷🏻‍♀️. Period. That’s why the game deserves a better fanbase than the one it has outside of Tumblr. It deserves better in general.

They don’t care to look into why Ashley is the way she is. If it wasn’t obvious already, Andrew brings out Ashley’s worst behavior and blames her for making him do bad things. In his mind he can’t be guilty, so he needs something on the outside to blame (Ashley). Mrs.Graves contributes to this btw, during the setup of the ritual before they sacrificed her and Mr.Graves she was pretty much saying “I know you don’t want to do this, I know she’s making you do it!” 🤦🏻‍♀️. She sounds like one of those boy moms that go “my son didn’t do shit!” 😂.

The worst are the people who reduce Ashley to fap material and a “hot crazy girl they can fix or make worse” 🤪, and basically fetishize her (unchecked) mental health issues that contribute to how she acts. Again, she’s had crippling insecurities and low self-esteem since she was a kid, Ashley has had just about 0 good life experiences outside of the ones with Andrew. So it is incredibly frustrating to see. I’m like I hate y’all I really do, read the damn room 🙄. They need to stop projecting their weirdo shit onto her.

People who fetishize mental illness and talk about how they want to “date a crazy bitch” are so gross. If/when they actually date someone with said mental health issues, when things get bad and they don’t fit the fantasy anymore, they’ll get disgusted and drop the person struggling with mental issues like trash. Anytime I see a guy say “crazy girls with mental issues are better in bed!”…. I’m like I know what type of man you are 🫥…. Perish 🗣️.

Ashley and Andrew both have unchecked mental illness, we know this. It’s quite literally not their fault. However, I personally don’t feel comfortable diagnosing them. Every time I see someone online say they were a born a psychopath, sociopath, etc. I lose brain cells. Mind you, I’m literally majoring in psychology and I still don’t feel comfortable diagnosing them.

To wrap things up because I know this post is LONG! I empathize with both Andrew and Ashley because they’ve both been dealt a bad hand in life. Their parents failed them in every way, and the society they live in is totally dystopian. However, when it comes to Ashley specifically? I have all the empathy for her in the world, especially because I understand some of the things she’s dealt with and how painful it really is. Digging deeper into her character shows you that she has quite literally been through hell and back. You can say she’s a victim turned villain, but honestly? I don’t really even consider her a villain, maybe that’s controversial to say but 🤷🏻‍♀️, I don’t think she’s irredeemable either. She’s someone who was hurt very badly, her wounds run deep, and she never really got to heal from any of it.

I just want her and Andrew to have a happy ending, it would be nice for them to experience genuine happiness for once. I would also like to see Ashley gain some self love in ch. 3, maybe Andrew will be able to help her with that in a way as their relationship improves.

Honestly, people who act like the questionable burial route is the “bad” ending are in denial so bad. Nemlei has said that “Burial” and “Decay” aren’t an indicator of a “good” or “bad” ending though. There will also be multiple outcomes to discover. I’m both excited, and scared lol.

I love Ashley Graves so much as a character, she’s so interesting and complex. I don’t play about her 😂. When it comes to defending her I’m on the frontlines lmao. The misogyny/hate when it comes to her is crazyyy. I’ll be the odd one out I don’t care, she’s my girlie 💕. It’s always refreshing to see other people who adore her and actually understand her as a character.

~~~~~~~~

Thank you so much for reading ❤️. I think this is my longest post yet 😳.

Also, a big thank you to everyone for all of the notes on my TCOAAL posts! I truly appreciate it. I’m so glad other people adore this game just as much as I do. :)

Unfortunately I’m not able to follow people back since this is a side blog. :/, but I do really appreciate everyone that follows me, I hope you like what I post. 💜

I’m currently working on creating an ooak doll of Ashley! 🤭💕. I’m SO excited to finish it and post her!

I plan on making a post about the Decay route at some point, because I realized I haven’t discussed it much. Probably because that route makes me sad 😓. However, it’s still incredibly interesting and I’m both excited and nervous to see where it goes.

#that one girl who don’t play about ashley graves #ashley graves’s defense attorney #tcoaal spoilers #tcoaal #the coffin of andy and leyley #nemlei #ashley graves #andrew graves #coffincest #gravecest #leyley graves #andy graves #kit9 #i hate reddit #i hate stupid people #this is a pretty long post oops #long post #longer post #just my thoughts

[detective-marshmallow]

We are getting more horror puppet things than i expected. Like welcome home and my friendly neighborhood are both my jam i swear. Goofy and cute character designs with the horror elements is just so fun to me.

Kinda makes me want to make a cast of puppet characters just to like do something different when it comes to designs.

But my point being, please gimme gimme! I love me some puppets and I love me some horror. Welcome home is awesome, and My Friendly Neighborhood is fun from what i’ve seen. Vastly different vibes but not unwelcomed!

I just love seeing things that stem from similar ideas be executed in such different ways. You can really tell how different creativity is in ever artist by seeing what story they come up with despite having a similar base idea.

This is not trashing on either media btw. I just think its awesome to see how different people can be! Like fairy tales have been retold thousands of times over but there will never be exactly alike bc every person has a different interpretation. And thats so cool to me as a creator.

Sorry for the longer post, I just love seeing how creators twist stories to their liking! I mean i write fanfiction so like I do that a lot too! But yeah! Awesome stuff! Gimme more horror and puppets! I love it!

#just rambling #welcome home #my friendly neighborhood #honestly so cool seeing this stuff #makes me feel secure in retelling fairytales #which i have a few ideas that are slowly coming together #longer post #rambles #also keep an eye out bc i’ve already got one design in mind for puppet cast

[carlosvalentine]

Who made the first move?

Carlos did. Carlos had been incredibly understanding of her reservations towards talking about feelings, and never talked about his own.

However, one night he awoke to the sound of her cries in the next room over. He immediately went to her and for the first time, just held her while she cried- really cried- for the first time since before the Spencer Mansion. It was a simple "first move", kissing her forehead. Their first kiss came the next day, initiated by Jill.

#longer post #carlos oliveira #jill valentine #resident evil #valeveira #jill valentine x carlos oliveira

[lavendertwilight89]

Life update:

I promise I have not disappeared and I haven't stopped writing. I'm just struggling to keep up.

Life has been a roller coaster this past year since I had some health issues and finally had my gallbladder removed.

I got engaged. Had to heal from surgery. Holidays. Grandpa died. Mom fell and broke her arm. Hospital. Then rehabilitation because she couldn't take care of herself since most 1 armed modifications require balance, which she doesn't have since her stroke. Stayed with her after her release and did everything for her.

Anxiety and stress and ptsd since I did that already for my dad who passed 5 years ago from dementia. It was something I said I couldn't and wouldn't do again. Somehow guilt got in my face and my boundaries were crossed.

Then my gym competition and my bridal shower (where I met @superpixie42 in personnnnnnn). Mom fell again and I panicked she had another stroke. Called an ambulance. Hospital. Back to rehab to try physical and Occupational therapy for additional treatment.

So, it's been a wild ride. Please don't think I've orphaned my works or of that they'll never be updated. I promise they're coming. Also I promise not to start another log fic until I finish the ones I have open.

Much love,

Lav

#personal #lavendertwilight89 #lav talk #longer post #life update