#look at all dat confetti

[austinsastrology8991]

> SUN IN THA HOUSE < and whY yoU Be like dat

Sun is our focal point, its our brightest star > you force others to look at you and look at themselves by your star quality <

Sun in the First - Everyone knows them, and they make it a fact that if you don't see them then your the one who is blind. They have a confident swagger, but arrogance to them that begs for the attention of all around them, and everyone is locked in on how or why they have such a powerful presence. Their smiles are contagious too. Also somehow always in the perfect place to say some funny ass shit and keep their style points that they been racking up over the years "You know. You all know exactly who I am. Say my name" - W.W 'breaking bad'

Sun in the Second - Did I stutter? Im talking about what I need not what I want. These guys are possessed by themselves and everyone loves it. So focused so self contained, they don't want nothing to do with you if you can't help them achieve their goals, and that attitude is sticky and everyone wanna be glued to em because they are destined for success. So they are constantly deciding who they want to share their gifts with, because they know they got it, what you got? "Money, money, money, money, money ain't the motive, What's your name again? Nobody knows it, Don't speak to me n***a, you not important, Im focused" - Tyler, the creator 'smuckers'

Sun in the Third - The whizz kid who didn't study, but stole the test papers and told everyone the wrong answers and kept all the right ones to himself. They are smart and they dont need you to tell them this they just want some more god damn answers. And thats what frustrates everyone, because they know so much already, why they still searching? Well thats how they got so smart dummy "That's why they put my lyrics up under this microscope Searching with a fine tooth comb, it's like this rope Waiting to choke, tightening around my throat Watching me while I write this, like, "I don't like this note" - Eminem 'white america'

Sun in the Fourth - The sentimental cry baby that everyone loves to cuddle. Emotional but people find it adorable. They are the rock you can cry on if you want a rock to cry on. Nah but if you need a safe place to cry, you can cry to them, they'll protect you from the harsh waves of others emotional projections, because they get it, even when everyone else refuses to. But don't use em because that'll force them to block you out, and this decision will cause a emotional rollercoaster for the both of you and they'll blame you for it even if it was their decision "And I am done changing words, Just so my songs sound prettier, I just don't care if it hurts, 'Cause it hurts me too" - Faye Webster 'hurts me too'

Sun in the Fifth - The walking confetti explosion, always turnt up and if you trynna lower the volume then they'll oblige ya just so when the volume inevitably goes up again, they'll make it a point that its always more fun with the party up then down. Charming chameleons that are cheesin about the colours they managed to pull off. Watch em dance, watch em sing, watch em do a funny, they can do it all and laugh while doing it, the vibe is them and they are so good at inviting people in on the little big party they got going on "Man I just wanna go flex, Gold on my teeth and on my neck, And I'm stone cold with the flex, With my squad and I'm smokin' up a check" - Post Malone 'go flex'

Sun in the Sixth - Typeracer.com - nah but seriously they always working on themselves and comparing themselves just to make sure their progress is more than what they expected and way more than what others expected of them. Because they here for a reason, and they will never let a opportunity slip, because if they do, they'll stay awake over it for years, and they done wasting their good years. Basically Peggy Olsen "And when your album sales wasn't doing too good, Who's the Doctor they told you to go see? Y'all better listen up closely, All you n***s that said that I turned pop, Or The Firm flopped. Y'all are the reason that Dre ain't been getting no sleep" - Dr Dre 'forgot about dre'

Sun in the Seventh - I gotchu what you need? true homies always putting others before them, and i know this gets a bad rap these days but if you ever get one of these friends. Do yourself a favour and stop telling them to stand up for themselves, because they still standing with the weight of everyone else on they shoulders. This way they show others the power of communication. And they still sticking it to everyone who tell em otherwise, so please tell me how they not standing up for themselves? They the loyalist, you got no idea how many people rely on em and thats their pride "Every step I take, every move I make (ohh, I'll miss you), Every single day, every time I pray, I'll be missing you (yeah, yeah, yeah), Thinkin' of the day, when you went away, What a life to take, what a bond to break, I'll be missing you" - Diddy 'missing you'

Sun in the Eighth - Who went to hell and back? Well they went to a version of it. And they are done hearing whatever you done, because what they did beats your hell tenfold. They don't even wanna put you in your place because they don't wanna hear your attempts to disapprove of them because they've overcome more than some bullshit shit talking. Just put some respect on their name thats all they want. And if not it's easy pickens because think they worse than you, and if you done worse, they don't mind going badder, so be careful, they'll do it. They careful about not being careful so be careful "No I don't worry, I tell you, I'm a man who believes that I died twenty years ago, And I live like a man who is dead already, I have no fear whatsoever of anybody or anything" - Skepta 'no security'

Sun in the Ninth - I WOKE UP IN NEW BUGgATTI is how they live their lives, except miss the bugatti but keep the caps lock on. They live by a set of moral philosophies to help them get by and to find excitement/ enjoyment outta life, because they refuse to be a follower, they've seen how sad everyone else is and they just trynna make sure it don't work out that way for them. Educated idiots; making up the rules as they learn the rules to live by their own rules. They lead their own life and it rubs off on everyone on how you should live your own life > teetering the edge of danger and fortune. Also someone who'll give it to you the realest despite being the biggest clown "Black kid get shot, white man get tazed, Media spread lies, politicians get paid, Doctors wanna drug you up so you can reach an early grave, Prisons wanna lock you up so they can fill up every cage Make fifty cents an hour, they gon' work you like a slave, Government gon' play dumb but they know everythin' " - Meechy Darko 'kill us all'

Sun in the Tenth - "Who speaking about me? oh. he ain't shit" - they acting better than everyone, and its fake until it isnt. No one knows when they made it because they always acted like they did. They dont brag they let the audience speak their volumes, hum their symphonies, play their drums, tickle their balls, and they just the orchestrator of it all. Because they doin the most, and they know everyone gonna talk about it so no need to even speak on it. Classy about it too. They on the top and they don't wanna leave so they acting humble but everyone know they really feelin themselves, but hey who wouldn't "I might be too strung out on compliments, Overdosed on confidence, Started not to give a fuck and stopped fearing the consequence, Drinkin' every night because we drink to my accomplishments" - Drake 'headlights'

Sun in the Eleventh - Trend setters who leave their shit stains on every social setting they enter. They got this influence about them thats hard not to notice, because they have at least three people fawning over em, and they not doing shit. Always trying to spread their influence, so if you want someone to back you its them, because their word is worth more due to their connections. And the easiest way to connect is technology and they all up in the software and getting a hard drive about it. They say some outta pocket shit, but thats where the influenza comes from I guess. They somehow everywhere and no where at the same damn time "It's ironic you talk jail time, But you ain't never seen no central booking (yeah) It's ironic you hang with a n***a that beat women And have the nerve to call yourself "Girl Pusher" Wow! You ain't real, I'm gonna show you how I really feel - JPEGMAFIA 'baby im bleeding'

Sun in the Twelfth - Lonely introspective dreamy creative types. Is what you could say if you wanna sum them up. But there is much more to them, but they are so afraid of letting anyone in because they are so sensitive. Their empathy and ability to look at things from different perspectives is what sets them apart, and they want to be set apart, because they feel alone, and don't wanna pretend they your friend if they ain't. They are extremely creative to a fault, and a lot of people would rather make fun of their works then celebrate how special it is. Until it is widely acknowledged how gifted they are, then everyone will switch up around them. But they will never forget who said what, because they above the whats; aint got time for someone who thought they were just a what "'Cause I'm out there, Tried to tell you that I'm out here on my own, I told you I was out there, Tried to tell you that I'm out here on my own,I fell down to Earth, From a hundred miles away and somehow I still make it work, But it's overrated and somehow played out" - Oliver Tree 'alien boy'

#sun in the houses #astrology #astrology blog #astrology observations #astrology placements #astro community #astrology notes #house placements #astrology houses

[unique-high]

ATEEZ S/o Popular YouTube Live Streamer Reaction.

Requested: i would like to request how ateez members would react to their s/o being a popular YouTube streamer and them accidentally walking in on their s/o live stream in the chat would go crazy.

a/n: this is a birthday themed request. I enjoyed making this. It was funny to me. 🤣

NOT EDITED BUT PROOFREAD A LITTLE.

MINGI: "HAPPY BIRTDA-" He stops at the threshold of the door wearing a party hat and holding a cake. "Oh, are you live streaming?"

You turned in your gamer chair looking at your boyfriend. "Um, yeah."

"Oh, really?" He steps further into the room, looking at the computer screen.

The chat box started going crazy

Zen: Omg is that who I think it is?!?

Baby Tee: Is this your boyfriend y/n? Why does he low-key look like Mingi from Ateez?

Theodore: Oh my freaking nuts. MINGI? Is this a prank? Or is this some crazy video editing somehow?!?

Suan: their boyfriend can't b Mingi. Not THE Mingi. This has to be some kind of prank fr fr.

Psycho: It makes sense now why Y/n never showed us their bf. Its cause he is just as famous as they are!!

You pulled your boyfriend into the screen smiling. "Um, Everyone so yeah... Mingi from ateez is my boyfriend."

Mingi sat the cake down so he could wave. "Hi, Everyone, I am Y/n's boyfriend. Nice to meet you all." He smiles. "If you all don't mind, I'm going to steal y/n for a few hours."

YUNHO: He didn't know that you were in the middle of live streaming when he came dancing into the room singing Happy Birthday and popping confetti poppers.

"Yunho, I'm living streaming right now." You pointed at your computer.

"Oh, shit." he quickly bows. "I didn't mean to ruin your live."

The chat box started to go off.

Kill la Kill: Okay no, cause is dat YUNHO I see? lol.

Mint Mint: U CAN RUIN MY LIFE!!

Prince Charming: Is he ur boyfriend?

Rugrat: Y were u keepin him a secret from us?

Paul: Is this guy famous or sumthing?

Lizzy Bear: Don't tell me he's Y/n's bf like they're my WAIFU!!

NOT OKAY: I hope Y/n can fight. LMAO

"Would you like to join the live with me, Yunho?" You ask him.

"I don't want to steal the attention from you, but if you want to I will." He pushes you out of the way and smiles into the camera. "Yunho, taking over."

JONGHO: While you were in the middle of showing off your new headset, a fan gifted you. Jongho burst open the door blowing a party blower. "Let's get the party start-" he pauses. "Oh. Oh, are you streaming already?"

"Yeah." You said. "Want to say hi?"

Jongho wobbles over, waving. "Hi, I'm Jongho. Y/n's number 1 supporter."

The chat box starts flooding in with messages.

Bambi: No way. NO FREAKING WAY THIS IS THE JONGHO!!

Jaya Jaya ya: He should be grateful to have bagged a baddie like Y/n.

Shy Mariah: BLOW THE WHISTLE!

sUpEr MaRio: I just started stanning ATEEZ and Jongho is my bias!!! i'mma go cry in a corner.

My lucky lady: New Ship?

BBQ Sauce on my tittes: Jst waiting for the crazy fans to enter the chat *sips tea*

SAY MY NAME: Does dis mean we getting couple stuff now? cuz I don't mind at all :)

Jongho laughs at the ship comment saying. "What can our ship name be?"

You rolled your eyes nudging him out of the way. "Jongho has boyfriend duties now. Say bye Jongho."

He pouts. "Bye Y/n's live stream fans."

SEONGHWA: He was rubbing his sleepy eyes in his other hand was a gift bag with your birthday gift, he sleepily walked into the middle of your live stream yawning, holding out your gift in front of you. "Y/n, happy birthday."

"Baby, say hi to my fans." You beamed.

"Huh?"

You pulled him down to be in frame and pointed at your computer. "I'm live."

"What?!" Seonghwa nervously laughed, running his fingers through his messy bleached hair. "Um, Hi Y/n's fans I didn't mean to interrupt."

Fever Fever: Mother Seonghwa is that u?

Bad boi dwn: Oh, wonder how his company is going to cover this up?

Queen of tha South: Wasn't expecting to be blinded by a handsome man.

Lil Lotto: We need a story time cause like wtf?

U can call me monster: Y/n musta did something in a past life to be this lucky to get a K-POP man.

Crazy Form: whenever he eat the cookie he got good form?????

Alice In Wonderland: This man makes me forget I'm lesbian.

"Should we do a small q & a?" You ask your fans.

Seonghwa sits on your lap. "Yeah, should we?"

WOOYOUNG: He was wearing a pink lace apron and carrying a homemade cake when he walked into the middle of your live streaming while you were doing the dance to Bouncy.

"I baked you a cake for your birthday but I see you're busy. I'll come back later." Wooyoung said.

"I'm having a birthday live. You can join in. Everyone would love to see you."

Your fans started flooding the chat.

Pirate King: R my eyes deceiving me? Wooyoung is that you my boy?

Kitty Kat: Oh they really living the Y/n life.

White boy wasted: Haters gonna say this fake.

i stole ur bias: adding to the hit list.

Alpha Josh: So are we going to ignore the fact that this man is overly gorgeous?

Pizza HūrT: Life isn't fair because how can I live the Y/n dream? do I need to play “I'm not like other girls” card?

Dirty Sprite: K, that explains why she never shows us her phone screen saver.

Woo Woo: I can't right now. Because like Wooyoung and Y/n are together? Two of my favorite ppl n the world!

“Well, since I'm in the live stream, can you all help me wish, Y/n a very happy birthday.” Wooyoung gives you a kiss on the cheek.

YEOSANG: He didn't mean to barge in during your live stream. At first he doesn't notice because he puts his phone in your face. The rest of Ateez faces were shoved into the phone camera yelling happy birthday to you, it was so chaotic and loud. You smiled at Yeosang.

“Babe I'm in the middle of a live stream right now.”

“You are?”

“Yeah. See everyone is commenting.” You point at the chat box.

Yeosang reads the incoming messages.

Depresso Expresso: idk how to explain it but he's the product of his mother during all the work doing sex.

Dat girl Maya: yeah what they said ^^^

Get'em Gates: r u 2 dating?

Ur Faves Can't Rap: I'm suddenly gay.

M0lLy: Oh I know he's cracking her back like a glow stick every night.

I got that dog in meee: Funny of u to assume he does the cracking ^^^

Princess Tee: he's a work of ARRRT.

Megan Thee Goat: He's the definition of HOT BOY. If ykyk.

“Okay say bye to Yeosang everyone before he gets a big head.” You laughed, poking your boyfriend in the ribs.

HONGJOONG: “Okay make a wish!” Hongjoong burst into your room with a cupcake in his hand and a big smile on his face.

You spun in your gaming chair. “Where are your clothes?”

“I'm your birthday gift.” Hongjoong winks at you.

“Thats nice in and all. But there's like 100,000 people seeing your junk.”

“You're joking right?” He lets out a nervous laugh, using the cupcake to cover himself.

“Nope. Live stream.”

“Live stream?” he swallowed and waves at everyone watching. “Hi, I'm um Hongjoong Y/n's birthday gift.”

The chat box went crazy.

Vanilla baby: At least he came unwrapped. My God!!!

GUERRILLA: ooou he's a big boy indeed.

Choke me spank me: sssjjiokhdgfertgyjbfrfv.

San's left nut: I can die happily now.

Icky Vicky: He your man?!?

Touch sum grass: HAPPY BIRTHDAY Y/N!!!! But please get your naked man off the screen. My mom walked in and thought I was watching porn....

Jimin's baby momma: am I in a fanfic right now?

Peru Peru: He slanging.

Sativa: he really gifted us all.

Bill Nye: isn't this how most porns start?

3D: Can he make it bouncy?

Olivia: This man is sex on legs.

“Sorry, everyone. Hongjoong will go put on some clothes now.”

“But I like the attention.”

You ended the live playfully beating up Hongjoong.

SAN: He had the same idea as Hongjoong but instead of being naked he wore a silk black robe but still naked underneath. San walked into your room with a bottle of champagne and from somewhere in the house Birthday by Katy Perry played.

"Y/n, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!" San drops his robe, bare ass to the camera. "This is all for you. but when isn't it?" he smirks.

You stared at your boyfriend. "Um babe, you're mooning my live stream."

"What the fuck?" He hurries to grab the robe from the floor to cover himself. "Why didn't you say anything sooner!”

You laughed. “I wasn't expecting you go all Chippendale's on me.”

The messages started to flood in.

Isamu: Um... Continue please?

Misty Blue: lol mooning yes. A FULL moon indeed.

Hawaii Five - O: Lol is it just me are does he look like San from ATEEZ?

Jazmine: Yea was watching with my dad...Thanks...

Lisa: CAUSE IT IS SAN FROM ATEEZ. *screaming and punching the air*

Da Kid: Boyfriend or Roommate?

Hailey: noooo y is my husband there with Y/n!!!! San you come home this minute!

Supernatural Fan: Didn't think I'd b seeing a guy's bare ass while enjoying my salad.

Beth: Thank you for the heart attack.

Charlie: I don't think roommates do this kind of thing @ Da Kid.

Angelina: PUT IT ON MEEEEEE!!!SCXSYBXQTIVKSWTCHOUDWWXGHGD

Kimmy: Are u getting dick downed by him every night?

iPad adult: Too much junk in the trunk lol.

“Now that everyone has seen my boyfriend's butt. I'm ending the stream.”

“Does that mean you're going to enjoy your birthday gift now?” San smiles at you.

#ateez s/o #kpop fanfic #kpop x black reader #kpop x ambw #kpop x reader #ateez fanfic #ateez x black reader #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez fluff #ateez x y/n #ateez x reader #ateez fic #ateez reactions #ateez request #ateez x poc #fanfic #ateez #ateez x you #ateez x female reader #Spotify

[lumilasi]

Shigarakiweek day 5: Confetti + wounds

Toga found confetti-themed bandages and wanted to test them on Tomura, then finished the masterpiece by throwing confetti on him. He’s rolling his eyes but doesn’t really mind.

I think the reason I can’t do anything else but silly shit for these drawings is because my recent fic writing has involved SHIT TON of angst, so I can’t really have it in drawing too.

@shigarakiweek

#my art stuff #shigarakiweek #shigaraki birthday week #tomura shigaraki #bnha tomura #shigaraki tomura #mha tomura #shiragaki tomura #tomurashigaraki #look at all dat confetti #who gave toga confetti #now everything is covered in it #Lumi's art scribbles

[marvelfanfics1]

Imagine Little! Reader and Mommy!Natasha where it's her birthday and she's out on a mission. When she comes back, her little has a huge surprise for her, she tried her best and decorated her room with all their photos and made small cupcakes for her and as soon as she enters the room, she attacks her with loads and loads of kisses and Natasha is in tears because she's not used to so much love and affection 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Birthday surprise

(GIF not mine)

Pairing: mommy!nat x little!reader

Warnings: Age Regression, so much fluff

A/N: I'm gonna cry! that's so cute 🥺

⭒𖥸⭒

"Is dat good?" you asked and Wanda looked over at your work.

"It's perfect honey. She will love it" she said and placed the fresh cupcakes on the table. She looked at her watch and gasped. "she will be here soon"

Wanda got her things and you brought her to the door, hugging her tight.

"tank you for your help, Auntie Wanda" you said and she kissed your cheek.

"No problem, I will come over later" she left and you turned all the lights off and crouched behind the table.

A minute later you heard the door being unlocked and Natasha calling out for you.

"Baby where are you? Mommy needs some cuddles after this long mission" she called out and you giggled.

You saw her boots at the door and she turned the lights on.

"HAPPY BIRFDAY MOMMY!" you shouted and jumped up from your hiding place and run into her arms, attacking her face with kisses.

Natasha held you in her arms and looked around the room. It was decorated and full of balloons. When she looked closer she saw on a few balloons hanged pictures of you and her together.

She stepped closer to the table and saw the cupcakes placed, which you clearly made by yourself, all over table with confetti and two gifts.

"You have gifts? For me?" she asked and you nod kissing her cheek again.

"of course, is your birfday" you smiled brightly. She sat down with you and you handed her the first present.

She unwrapped the gift and smiled. It's a beautiful black dress that you bought in your big headspace. But you have one for her that you made in littlespace.

When she put the carton aside you handed her the second gift. It was a drawing you made of you two together holding hands and Natasha begun to tear up.

"Mommy?" she hugged you tight and you heard her sobbing.

"Thank you so much, Baby. I love everything. I really don't deserve you" she said and pulled away and you put your finger on her lips.

"No, I don' wanna hear something wike that today. Is your birfday an' you deserve the whole world. I lub you Mommy" you said and she kissed you softly.

"I love you too. You're a real gift"

⭒𖥸⭒

Taglist

@marvelsguantletkeeper @my-river-lilly @canned-rootbeer @fanfictioniseverything

#little!reader #little reader #submission #mommy!nat #mommy!nat x little!reader #mommy!natasha #mommy!natasha x little!reader #mommy nat x little reader #mommy natasha x little reader #mommy natasha #mommy nat

[agerestorybits]

I’m not little I swear!

  Roman was laying on his stomach on the floor coloring as disney music played in the background. His door left open in case anyone needed him. He looked up when he heard a knock on the door frame. Virgil stood there more, awkward than normal. 

 Roman smiled, “What brings you to my domain dark night?” Roman asked, shifting so he was sitting up. 

 Virgil stepped in hands in his hoodie pockets. “I...noticed that you...Well.” Virgil gestured to the coloring book on the floor. 

 “And? Would you like to join me?” Roman asked, already summoning a second coloring book for Virgil. Nightmare before Christmas themed. 

Virgil relaxed a little, “Yeah. I would. Thanks.” He sat down on the floor and pulled out a crayon from the pile on the floor.

Roman went back to coloring. They both worked in silence for a while before Virgil spoke up. “Just so you know..Um..I am too.”

Roman looked up at him. Virgil glanced at the coloring book again. What? An artist? Why didn’t he just say that? Was he embarrassed? Scared Roman would be mad at him. Roman smiles reassuringly, “Trust me when I say there is no problem with that. If anyone gives you any grief about it they’ll have me to mess with.”

That seemed to be the right thing to say as Virgil smiled a bit. “Thanks.” They went back to coloring. After a half hour Virgil finished his picture and stood. “We should do this again sometime.”

“Indeed!” Roman agreed. “The sooner the better!”

Virgil shifted on his feet, “So...you don’t mind if I tell Logan and Patton about..this? Do you? I mean if you want to tell them yourself-”

“I would never tell them something if you wanted me to keep it secret.” Roman promised. Why Virgil was making such a big deal about coloring he had no idea. He didn’t really understand Virgil that much but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to support him. “Tell they if you want. Do I need to be there for you?”

Virgil smiled again, “nah. It’s cool. I’ve got it….thanks.”

“Well good luck!” Roman said.

“I might need it.” Virgil muttered as he left. Roman rolled his eyes, Virgil could be so over dramatic. And that was coming from him!

Roman went back to coloring.

---

Virgil took a breath before blurting it out. “I age regress.” Patton and Logan looked at him. “So does Roman!” He added before they could say anything.

“Oooookay?” Patton said. “What’s that?”

Logan gave a brief explanation. “In all honesty I’m not surprised about Roman.”

“It does make sense.” Patton agreed.

“Yeah.” Virgil rubbed the back of his neck, “So um..Alright. I was wondering if you weren’t too weird out by this-”

“Not at all.” Logan said.

“Full support kiddo!” Patton added.

“Thanks...Would one or both. I’m not going to pick..And if you don’t want to I won’t hold it against you or anything! I just..”

“Virgil.” Logan said, “Breath.”

“Will you be my caregiver….ers?” He asked in a small voice.

“Of course!” Patton said. He turned to Logan. “What is that?”

“Patton don’t agree to things you don’t know about.” Logan said before giving an explanation.

Patton frowned, “I thought I was already taking care of you.”

“I mean. While I’m little.” Virgil clarified.

“Well duh! I’m not going to stop just because you need a LITTLE extra help!” Patton said brightly.

“I agree to help.” Logan said.

 Virgil smiled. This was going better than he expected.

---

Roman was...confused. He wasn’t going to say anything in case he insulted Virgil but...He didn find it weird that he was wandering around in the middle of the day in a onesie with a..was that a pacifier????

Even stranger was Logan and Patton took it in stride and even seemed to think that Roman wanted to do that too.

Was this a prank? A joke he didn’t get? Was he supposed to comment on it?

“Are you sure you don’t want to try a paci?” Patton asked.

“Err...no thanks pat.” Roman said holding up a hand.

“Patton, he might not be little right now.” Logan said.

 Little??? What?? “Alright what is going on? Am I missing something? I feel like I’m missing something.” Roman said.

“You don’t have to hide it. Virgil told us!” Patton said.

“It wasn’t like you were trying that hard to hide it.” Logan said.

“Hide what?” Roman asked. Was this about the art thing? What did that have to do with dressing in a onesie?

“About your age regression.” Patton said.

“My...what?” Logan and Patton glanced at each other.

“You really don’t need to hide it.” Logan assured him. “As you can see we have already accepted Virgil for it. We aren’t going to judge you.”

“We can even take care of you too if you want!” Patton said excitedly. “Oh! You two could have playdates!”

“Back up. What is age regression? And Virgil said I did that?” Roman said. He wasn’t going to argue with Virgil….Yet.

Logan gave him an in depth description of age regression which raised more questions than it answered.

 Why did Virgil think he age regressed? Did he age regress and not know? No he was very sure that he didn’t age regress. He just liked to do kid activities. That wasn’t the same thing!

Roman shook his head, “I don’t age regress.”

Patton crossed his arms, “Now Roman lying isn’t a good habit.”

Roman blinked in surprise. “I’m not lying??”

“Do you need to go in time out?”

Roman froze. WHAT?

“Alright. Call me when you aren’t acting crazy.” He said leaving.

“Roman!”

He kept walking. He wasn’t watching where he was going; he was just getting out of a situation that was crazier than he liked.

Speaking of crazy.

Remus looked up as Roman entered the Dark side common rooms. He was hanging upside down over the back of the couch eating a confetti. “Oh. What are you doing here?” He’s mouth is full of colorful paper.

Roman groaned and collapsed on the couch next to his brother. “I just had the strangest conversation.” He threw himself into the story of what just happened as Remus half listened but paid more attention the more Roman talked about…

“Little space! I mean what even is that??”

Remus was silent for a solid minute. “I mean...I do that.”

“You do?” Roman asked.

“Yeah! I mean.” Remus flipped off the couch onto the floor then jumped to his feet, spilling the confetti in the process. “It’s great! No filter! No worries about anything!”

“Isn’t that you normally?” Roman asked.

“Well… I mean I’m a bit more...PG when it happens but other than that….yeah.” Remus said before offering Roman some of the small amount of confetti that remained in the bag. “Want some.”

“No thanks. So if you regress….Do you have someone who watches you? Like..a caregiver?”

Remus’ face dropped. “I asked Janus but...turns out I’m a ‘bit much’ for him. So...no.”

“Oh.” Roman frowned. Thinking through his offer. “Well Logan and Patton seem to want someone else to take care of.”

Remus snorted and threw himself down on the couch again. “You’re kidding right? There’s no way they would watch me. No one would.”

“I would.” WHY DID HE SAY THAT? He almost took it back but, The way Remus’ face lit up… He had to try.

“Really?” Remus said almost bouncing.

“I mean. I’ll try.” Roman said.

“Good enough!” Remus said. “I’ll see you in a couple hours! I gotta get in my head space!” He said running off.

Roman watched him go, a sinking feeling that he got himself in something he had no idea how to handle sinking in.

---

 Remus showed up at Roman’s door not wearing a onesie like Roman thought he might, but a pair of shorts and a t-shirt that he clearly made himself that was a mix of tye-dye and gory images with stains that looked like real blood. He had a stuffed octopus that was looking worse for the wear and a paci on a clip.

“Hihi!” He said moving past Roman into the room. Roman closed the door.

“Hi? So what do I do?”

“You watch me.” Remus said. “Duh.” His voice was higher...more kid like. Which made sense.

“Alright. So you want to do something?” Roman asked.

“Mmmmm I dunno.” Remus said putting the octopus on Roman’s bed.

“Does he have a name?” Roman asked.

“Yeah! Cephy!” Remus said bouncing. “He collects skulls!”

“Really?” Roman asked, playing along.

Remus nodded clearly having fun that someone was so interested in his stuffed friend. “He eats all the bones cept the skulls! Those he pol-....pol..”

“Polishes?”

“Yeah! Shiny and stuff.” Remus said waving his hands as he talked.

Roman looked over Cephy. “Mmm. He’s looking a little rough. Do you want me to patch him up?”

“Yes! We can make a octopus hospitel!” Remus said grabbing Cephy and shoving him into Roman’s hands. “I’ll be the mad doctor and you can be the real doctor who does the...surge- a- ge!”

“Surgery.” Roman said.

“Yeah! Dat!” Remus said beaming.

Roman had to smile too. Remus was just..lacking a better word...cute like this. Janus was missing out thinking that Remus was ‘too much’ to handle.

Roman sewed up Cephy and put a little magic in him to make him softer again. Remus was thrilled he watched the whole time asking questions about what Roman was doing and talking about other things that Cephy liked to do.

 “-and then bam! Dead!” Remus fell over onto Roman’s bed.

“Oh dear.” Roman said half listening to the story half focusing on the stuffie in his hands. He needed to put the finishing touch on. A spell that made it so Cephy didn’t get torn up again.

“There! All done!” Remus jumped up and grabbed his stuffed friend.

“Cephy! You’re alright! You lived Surge-a-ge!” Remus said hugging him. Roman didn’t bother correcting him. He was going to keep messing words up. As long as Roman got the gist of it he didn’t mind.

Remus looked at Roman suddenly, “I’m hunge.”

“Oh. Well it is getting late isn’t it? We should both get some dinner.” Roman said stand and without thinking about it took Remus’ hand and led them to the kitchen. By late it was LATE. Almost midnight.

Roman was kind of glad no one else was awake. He didn’t want to face Patton and Logan yet. Nor confront Virgil about saying he was little when he wasn’t.

He made eggs which was the first thing that Remus suggested that was edible. And toast. With jam….and juice.

Ok so he made breakfast at midnight. Remus didn’t have a problem with it. He even tried to feed Cephy some.

“Done!” Remus said, pushing his plate away. “Now we play something else?”

“I don’t think so you little gremlin, It’s bedtime.” Roman said.

Wait...did he just call remus a gremlin? Shit! He looked at Remus closely but the only thing he was upset about was having to go to bed.

“Ugh! But I wanna stay… stay…’yawn’ up!” Remus said before yawning a second time.

“Nope. Bedtime. Gremlin.” Roman said running with the nickname. Remus grumbled but agreed.

“Carry me?” He muttered. Roman picked him up and made sure he still had Cephy before taking him and tucking them both in bed.

“Goodnight gremlin.” Roman said, flipping off the lights.

“Night night.” Remus muttered half asleep.

 Roman turned around and jumped as he was met with Janus. “Gah!”

“You did good today.” Janus said. “Watching him.”

“I don’t get why you think he’s too much to be honest.” Roman said a little tense.

Janus laughed, “You haven’t seen his temper tantrum yet….besides I’m not very partenal….Not like you it seems.”

“Thank you?”

“Good luck Roman.” Janus said, turning, “You’re going to need it.”

---

Roman sat reading from a storybook as Remus played on the floor half listening. He noticed Janus out of the corner of his eye reading his own book. Only Janus hadn’t turned any pages in almost twenty minutes giving Roman the sneaking suspicion that he was listening. He read just slightly louder and kept an eye out for any movement from Janus.

Sure enough Janus closed his book after a few minutes and set it aside but didn’t get up and leave. Instead he just closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair farther. Roman’s smile widened as he continued reading.

“It’s lunch time.” Remus reminded him. Roman closed the book and saw Janus open his eyes and caught Roman watching him. Janus wordlessly got up and left.

“Yeah. Let’s get you some food.” Roman said, taking Remus’ hand and taking him to the kitchen.

 Janus had been hanging around Remus and Roman when a lot. More than Roman expected of him. He had never really thought of Janus as being sociable but it was clear that he was.

Roman couldn’t stop thinking about Janus’...warning? It felt like a warning. Like something was going to happen that he would NEED luck for. But he had no idea what. Were Patton and Logan going to become even more intolerable?

They were trying to get him to regress around Virgil and didn’t believe him when he said that he didn’t regress. They firmly believed he was just being shy about it? Why would he be? It didn’t make sense to him but it seemed to make some kind of sense to them since they would not drop it!

He sighed. Remus looked up at him from his lunch. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing you need to worry about gremlin.” Roman said, brushing Remus’ hair out of his face.

Remus hummed, Roman could tell by the look in his eyes that he was snapping out of his younger headspace. “Roman.”

 “It’s nothing!...Really! Just...you know. Them.” Roman said, waving his hand. At least for the most part Virgil seemed to believe that he didn’t regress. But Patton and Logan just would not let it go.

“Do I need to bust some heads?” Remus asked.

“No.” Roman rolled his eyes. He sat down and crossed his arms. He looked towards the hallway that Janus had disappeared down before leaning forward on the table. “Do you now what’s up with Janus?”

“Did he say something to you?” Remus asked confused.

“Well...no. I just thought it was weird that he was hanging out so much when you’re regressed when he thought you were ‘too much to handle’.” Roman said using finger quotations.

“Well he’s not handling me is he? That’s you!” Remus said. “Who is doing a good job by the way.” He muttered the second half before taking a quick bite.

Roman blinked at the praise. Remus was begrudging to give him any compliments when he was bigger due to their dumb slibing ravalry they had going on.

“Still…”

“If he didn’t say anything he’s fine! He’ll say something if he has a problem!” Remus said.

Roman raised an eyebrow. “Really? The master of lies and secrets is going to be completely open about his problems?”

“Yeah...why not?” Remus asked. “I mean you’re part of the group now.”

“The group?”

“One of us! You spend more down here than with the others at this point!” Remus said a bit happy about it.

Roman froze. He….he did. Didn’t he? He just wanted to avoid them from trying to baby him and he liked taking care of Remus and talking with Janus and-

He stood up so fast he made Remus jump at the sudden action. “I need to go talk to them!”

Remus waved him off. “Good luck.”

Roman paused. Why did they both think he needed luck so much?

----

  He ran into Virgil first. Who for the most part was regretful that he jumped to a conclusion and got Roman into this mess.

“Are you ok? You looked stressed out.” Virgil said.

“Fine.” Roman said.

“Right. Because you’re known for your one word answers.” Virgil crossed his arms.

“Alright so I’m not feeling my best at the moment.” Roman said, throwing a hand in the air.

 “Any way I can help?” Virgil asked.

“Oh I think you’ve done enough!” Roman snapped. Virgil flinched. Roman’s anger died down. “Sorry. You didn’t know this would happen.”

“Still...I should made sure I knew for sure what was going on first before-”

“Breath. It’s fine. I’m sure they’ll give up on me ‘regressing’ any day now.” Roman said, patting Virgil’s upper arm. “Hopefully.” He muttered as he moved past Virgil.

He found Patton and Logan in the common room. “Oh hey! You’re back!”

“Yep!”

“Are you feeling alright?” Logan frowned.

Roman took a breath. “I need you two to drop this whole me regressing thing.”

Patton and Logan glanced at each other. “Are..are you sure?”

“Very.” Roman said flatly.

Patton nodded to himself. Logan stood up, “Alright. It’s your choice.”

Roman was feeling hopeful that he had gotten through to them. Then Patton spoke, “If you ever change your mind about doing it alone we’ll be here.” Roman groaned.

Well...It was better than nothing.

---

While they did drop trying to get him to regress around them. They were checking to make sure he was regressing on his own and suggested he go regress to get rid of some stress when he was tense. He finally just agreed to going somewhere else, (them taking this as him going to regress) just so he didn’t have to bother with it.

He stormed into the dark commons and froze as he saw Remus regressed...with Janus. It was clear from his pacifier and childlike outfit that he was little too. Unless this was some weird joke he was missing out on.

 “Janus?!?” He accidentally yelled.

Janus and Remus both jumped. Janus looked up terrified, tears appearing in his eyes. Roman’s caregiving instincts kicked in. He dropped down next to Janus and quickly went about calming him.

 “Hey. No it’s ok. See? Everything is fine.” Roman said softly.

Janus stared at him with wide eyes. He slowly reached out and touched Roman’s face before reaching out with both arms. Roman pulled him into his lap. Janus cuddled up as close as he could to Roman’s chest.

 Remus whined, “Hey!” He crawled over and Roman hugged him to his side. Remus wasn’t that cuddly but he must have been a bit jealous of Janus at the moment.

Oh boy. Maybe this is what he needs luck for.

---

 Janus stopped regressing as Roman served them supper. He started shifting in his chair awkwardly and clearly wanted to leave.

“Hey.” Roman said gently. “We don’t have to talk about it now if you don’t want to. I can pretend it never happened if you want.”

That seemed to be the right thing to say as Janus relaxed a bit. He sat back. “No..This needs to be addressed.”

Roman sat down. “Alright.”

Janus stared at his plate of food, across from him Remus was eating quickly. His legs kicking back and forth. Those his eyes said he was older than he was acting.

Janus was quiet for a while before speaking. “I can’t handle Remus’ regression because I regress too.”

Roman nodded. “It causes it?”

Janus nodded. He looked up at Roman. “So….”

“If you want I can watch both of you at the same time. It’s not too much.” Roman couldn’t really promise that but today had gone well so why not at least try?

 Janus stared at Roman for a solid minute before speaking. “I’d like that.”

Roman smiled. Remus cheered. “Little friend!” Roman and Janus both smiled at that. “Maybe Virgil could join us for a playdate!” Janus’ smile froze.

Roman held his breath for Janus’ reaction. After a second Janus unfroze and nodded, “Worth a shot.”

---

Setting up the playdate was more work than he thought. Patton was sure that having Remus around a regressed Virgil would be bad for him. “I just don’t want him getting hurt!”

Roman assured him that he had been watching Remus, (“Like a big brother!” Patton said completely blowing over how Roman said he was Remus’ caregiver) and that he wouldn’t hurt Virgil or Janus.

Logan was the one who agreed. “We’ll both be there. We can watch them.”

“I’m so proud of you for doing this!” Patton told him. He was almost sure that Patton thought he was finally going to regress around them.

He just smiled tightly and moved on with setting everything up. Virgil was genuinely excited about it. While Remus and Janus had playdates together before, Virgil never had. So while he was nervous about it, he was also ready to play.

Roman held Janus and Remus’ hands as he took them to light side common room where there was a pillow fort set up, snacks were being made fresh in the kitchen and the t.v was set up for movies. Of course there were toys in a chest in the back of the pillow fort due to the fact that the t.v was most likely just going to be background noise.

 Virgil was waiting in the pillow fort. They had decided before to have them all small before getting them together in case an argument broke out and they couldn’t regress.

Janus surprised all of them by running over as soon as he saw Virgil and hugging him. Remus beamed and ran over to join the hug. Roman smiled at them.

“Do you want to go join in kiddo?” Patton asked.

Roman shook his head, “I’ve got to finish up the snacks so-”

“Pfft! You don’t need to worry about that!” Patton said. “Logan and I have that! Just go play!”

“I’m here to watch them. Not play.” Roman said firmly.

“You don’t have to.” Logan said. “We are more than capable of watching all four of you.”

Roman grit his teeth. “I am not regressing.”

 Patton gave him that stern look that said he wanted him to stop acting and just go along with it. Roman didn’t back down. He walked over and sat on the couch so he could keep an eye on Remus and Janus.

Virgil waved to him.

Roman relaxed a little. He could get through this.

---

He could not get through this! He was holding himself back from yelling at Patton, “I do not regress.” He said as he fixed Janus’ paci clip.

“You don’t have to hide it! We know!” Patton said. “I thought we got past this!”

“You are not listening to me! Neither of you are!” Roman snapped.

Logan frowned.  Janus tugged on Roman’s sleeve. He was getting upset at all the angry faces. Roman picked him up. “It’s ok.” He said soothing him.

He took a breath. He can do this. This is fine.

Until Patton tried to take Janus from him with a quick you don’t need to do that. “Oh! I think I do!”

 Janus started crying and Roman felt even worse. This isn’t how he wanted tonight to go. He walked into the other room with Janus to calm him down.

“You two really suck ass you know that right?” Remus said clearly not regressed anymore. Neither was Virgil who was glaring at them.

“I told you that I was wrong and he doesn’t regress! Why can’t you get that?”

“Virgil.” Patton said. “Then why does he know so much about it?”

“He doesn’t regress.” Remus said firmly. “He takes care of me when I’m regressed!”

“Well maybe if he didn’t have to he could regress! Maybe he’s so busy dealing with you that he doesn’t!” Patton argued.

Logan stepped between them before Remus could punch Patton. “Patton I think they are telling the truth. We were wrong about Roman regressing.”

“What? But..You said that-”

“And I was wrong.” Logan said.

Patton deflated. “Oh….oh no.”

“We need to apologize.” Logan said.

Patton nodded.

Roman came back in with a sleeping Janus. “Remus are you ready to go?”

“In a minute. These two have something to say to you.” Remus said.

“We’re sorry.” Logan said.

Roman’s eyebrows shot up. “I...what?”

“We didn’t believe you...we didn’t trust you to tell us the truth. And we’re sorry. We should have listened to you.” Patton said.

Roman smiled, “Thank you. Remus?”

“Yeah yeah. Time to go.” Remus said walking over and taking Janus from Roman. “I’ll get him tucked into bed. You can handle this.”

Roman nodded. Remus smiled at his brother and winked before leaving.

 They talked for a while. Both of them were really listening to Roman about how he wasn’t a regressor he was a caregiver.

“That….makes more sense.” Logan said.

“It suits you.” Virgil said.

Roman smiled. “Thank you. I’ve found that I have quite the talent for it.”

Patton shifted, “Roman...I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright Patton. I forgive you. You saw what you wanted to see.” Roman said. Roman looked at Virgil, “Not like I haven’t done that before. The important thing is moving past it.”

“That’s….good advice.” Virgil said surprised.

Roman looked at him offended. “I do have good ideas you know!”

“And we promise we’ll listen to them.” Patton said. “To you.”

Roman nodded. Guess he didn’t need luck after all. He just needed help from people he cared about. And who cared about him.

“Oh stop it! I can almost hear you being sappy!” Virgil said.

“What are you talking about?” Roman said.

“You’ve got that look on your face.”

“I do not have a look! I have looks!”

“Yeah sure-”

Virgil and Roman fell into their normal banter. The awkward air that had been between them was gone. They were back to normal. Or rather a new normal.

#Little janus #little virgil #little remus #cg roman #cg logan #cg patton

[carewyncromwell]

At last, my friends, we’ve come to the end! This is the final part of my POTC AU. *cue the confetti and noisemakers*

I’ll be creating a masterpost for this AU in the next few days, so that it’s easier to start at the beginning, but before we jump right in, I want to thank those people who contributed to the POTC AU during its development by creating content for their own characters -- @hphm-brooke, @danceworshipper, @rosievixen, @smarti-at-smogwarts, @theguythatdraws, @dat-silvers-girl, @that-ravenpuff-witch, @hogwarts9, @drinkyoursoupbitch and @samshogwarts -- as well as my dear friend @cursebreakerfarrier, whose character Jules I roped into this thing at the very start before having any concept of how big this thing could get and I feel so blessed to have been able to write for. I also just want to thank you all for the overwhelming flood of support you guys have sent my way for this project -- I truly have loved every minute of it, and I hope to finish some of my other unfinished projects as well as create other fresh new material for you guys in the near future! I love you all! xoxo

One last time -- previous part is here, and full tag is here!

x~x~x~x

Even with McNully’s brilliant ploy giving her an extra smattering of glory to cement her position, Carewyn had still initially feared the crew who had been on the HMS Lion would take her to task for her insubordination of Cutler Beckett. It turned out she really needn’t have worried.

“Lord Beckett may have been chosen by the King to take charge of the Empire’s anti-piracy campaign,” said Carewyn’s old lieutenant when she questioned him about it, “but he selected you as the Admiral of the fleet. Therefore it’s only right that we, as your subordinates, follow your orders -- whether they contradict Lord Beckett’s or not.”

“Even though I’m the sort of person to threaten the King’s chosen representative with my pistol?” asked Carewyn, her eyebrows raised.

“Even if you did far worse than that,” said the lieutenant, his eyes blazing with resolve. “Your orders saved a lot of our men’s lives out there, when Beckett’s no doubt would’ve led to their deaths. It’s only right that we protect you -- that the Navy protects you -- just like you protected us.”

His boyish face broke out into a broad smile. “We won’t betray you, Admiral. None of us will.”

With the Navy’s defeat at the hands of the Pirate Lords, Carewyn charted a course straight for London. The fleet had just started the month-long journey when about three days in, the Flying Dutchman emerged out of a gigantic wave and pulled up right alongside the HMS Royal. The Navy’s sailors immediately prepared for a fight, as they knew that the Dutchman was no longer under their control, but Carewyn held the order to attack, instead allowing the ship to approach.

The sailors on board the Dutchman were unrecognizable to Carewyn’s eyes -- gone were the barnacle-encrusted, shark-or-fish-headed crew members she’d seen before: all she saw were a band of very human, though admittedly very dirty and ragged-looking pirates. Sticking out amongst them was a handsome, clean-shaved man with a stylishly-embroidered coat, a brown ponytail, and discerning brown eyes, who stood shoulder-to-shoulder with a shorter, stockier man with very long curly dark hair tied back in a ponytail that swished around behind him like an oddly sentient tail. It was these two men that came aboard, when Carewyn invoked the right to parley with the Dutchman’s Captain in her office.

Percy shut the door to Carewyn’s cabin’s door behind the two men, taking off his tricorn hat just as the pirates, Ben, and Carewyn already had now that he was indoors. It was only once Carewyn, Percy, Ben, Jacob, and Ashe were alone that the two Navy officers and ex-Navy veteran dropped their professional masks and the two pirates dropped their intimidating glares, and Jacob and Carewyn ran forward, throwing their arms around each other and squeezing tight.

“Jacob!” Carewyn breathed against his shoulder as she clung to her brother.

Jacob cradled his younger sister close, absently trailing his hand through her hair in repetitive strokes. “Oh Wyn -- my brave Wyn...”

Carewyn pulled away just enough to look at Jacob. Her eyes trailed over his face, down to the long scar on his chest exposed by his slightly open shirt, and over his curly ponytail, which was currently squiggling like a ribbon in mid-air behind him.

Jacob smiled a bit sheepishly.

“Seems all sailors on the Flying Dutchman become a bit more ‘sea-like’ upon tying themselves to the ship. Rakepick’s hair kind of went all ‘jellyfish’ when she was captain -- probably because of her talent for shocking betrayals,” he added with a rather nasty smile. “Ashe thinks that my hair’s been evoking an eel. Fortunately I reckon I won’t start sprouting gills or turning green unless I actively shed my humanity and ignore my role as ferryman like Jones did...”

The severe look on Carewyn’s face made the smile slowly slide off of Jacob’s face.

“Jacob...when Jones was captain of the Dutchman, he wasn’t allowed to visit dry land but once every ten years,” said Carewyn, her voice betraying the anxiety she felt despite her best effort.

Jacob’s eyes grew a little more solemn. “...I know.”

Seeing the pain in his sister’s eyes, he immediately swooped in and trailed a hand through the hair near the front of her face.

“Wyn, I already planned for this. The whole reason I left you on Isle de Muerta is that I wanted to get Jones’s heart and force him, any way I had to, to release you from the contract.” He swallowed. “...I knew I’d have to be prepared to follow through, if I was going to threaten Jones’s life -- that I’d have to be prepared to become captain of the Dutchman myself, if it came to it.”

Carewyn looked if possible even more upset. “...You mean you planned this? You were really going to kill Jones, to stop him from impressing me into service?”

“I was not going to condemn you, Wyn,” Jacob said in a very forceful, pained voice. “I couldn’t let you suffer because of my mistake -- ”

“Two wrongs do not make a right, Jacob,” Carewyn shot back very harshly. “Jones may have been heartless, but he was still a person!”

“If you disregard the tentacles and claw, anyway,” Ashe said rather coolly. When Carewyn whirled on him with a very reproachful look, he spoke again before she did, “Carewyn, your brother had his fair share of conflict about the whole thing. He hated the thought of killing Jones and joining the crew of the Dutchman. He hated the thought of not being free to go where he wanted, to lose so much time with you...with me.”

Ashe’s eyes were very stony, but they still flickered over to Jacob, narrowing slightly with something oddly resigned. Carewyn’s gaze softened significantly.

“...I hated it for him too,” the merman said lowly. “I still do. But I hate the thought of Jack having died there on that deck more. I hate the thought that Rakepick would’ve actually managed to kill him this time, and there would’ve been nothing I could’ve done to stop it. Your friend the Pirate King couldn’t save your brother’s life, but she did prevent him from dying...all because she, like me, couldn’t bear the thought of you two never seeing each other again.”

His lips actually turned up in something of a weak, wry smile upon Carewyn.

“I understand your frustration -- your brother can be amazingly thick -- ”

“Oi!” said Jacob, a bit offended, but Ashe ignored him.

“ -- but I’ve been very fortunate to know the same intense, selfless love from Jack that he feels for you. I’m not going to act like it’ll be easy -- I mean, even if I’d be able to stay on-board on the Dutchman with Jack while he’s here in the land of the living...whenever he goes to the next world as ferryman, I won’t be able to follow. But I can always meet up with him at sea, in my regular form -- I can always catch up, given the proper time...just like I did while Jack was serving under Howell Davis. Until then, I’ll just find someplace to wait.”

Carewyn considered Ashe for a long moment, her blue eyes rippling with a rather indiscernible expression. Then, looking a bit more determined, she strode right up to Ashe and took hold of his shoulders.

“You won’t have to find a place,” she said. “You’ll have one with me.”

Both Jacob and Ashe looked taken aback.

“You’re family, Duncan,” said Carewyn with a smile. “And everything I’ve ever done -- everything I’m doing now -- is for my family...my blood one and my found one.”

She glanced at Percy, who beamed, before turning her gaze back to Ashe.

“You’ll always have a home with me, when you don’t have one with my brother,” she said very firmly. “Always.”

Ashe looked faintly stunned. His eyes trailed over Carewyn’s face, analyzing every inch as if he’d never seen anyone quite like her. His gaze flitted back over to Jacob, whose face had broken into a very warm, tear-choked smile.

Seeing the intense emotion in his partner’s face, Ashe couldn’t help but bow his head and clear his throat as he struggled to keep his composure.

“Ahem...well...that’s...nice.”

He glanced at Carewyn out the side of his eye almost hesitantly. The Admiral’s smile softened that bit more, becoming more sympathetic, and finally Ashe’s face slowly broke out into a very small, soft smile too. He brought up a hand and rested it on the crown of her head, lightly messing up her bangs.

“Guess I’ll just stick with you in the interim, then,” he said airily, “considering the Brethren Court’s instructions.”

Percy blinked in surprise. “The Brethren Court?”

Jacob nodded. “We took a vote and our Pirate King decided that a ‘representative’ should deliver the Court’s demands to the Admiral and the British Crown. Originally the plan was to have Ashe and me rendez-vous with you, and for Ashe to stay with you until ‘the terms were met.’”

“Jack would’ve done it himself if he could, but of course, he sort of needs to stick to the sea, unless he wants to waste his ‘one day every ten years,’” added Ashe.

“What terms did the Court decide on?” asked Ben, his arms crossed loosely over his chest. “I assume they want pardons for themselves and their crews...but just pardoning a mob of pirates isn’t going to fix things on its own.”

Jacob nodded. “Aye. The Court requested a ‘path toward reintegration’ -- one that includes pardons, as well as a job that suits our sailing and, er... ‘financially-inclined’ talents and can be used to build a future for ourselves and any families we may want to support. Amari’s First Mate said there would only be a 58% chance that the King would accept those terms, but he hoped that you ‘being put under duress’ by a pirate while submitting those terms in writing might improve the odds slightly -- ”

“I don’t think that will be necessary,” said Carewyn very primly.

This startled both Jacob and Ashe. Carewyn exchanged a wry smile with Ben.

“We’re already heading to London right now,” said Ben, his smirk noticeably broader than Carewyn’s. “The Admiral plans on requesting an audience with the King himself.”

“With Beckett gone, I’m in the best position I’ll ever be in, to make my move,” Carewyn said, her blue eyes flashing with determined fire. “I’m done with staying silent -- I intend to convince the King to give every pirate the chance to start their lives over.”

And so Carewyn sailed for London with Ashe, Ben, and Percy as her entourage. Meeting King George I would be a formidable proposition for anyone, but Carewyn fortunately was able to prepare a little ahead of time. The Weasley family had grown up near London, so Percy was able to give Carewyn some advice of how to approach the King --

“His Majesty was born and raised in the Holy Roman Empire, so English is not his first language. There are some rumors that he really doesn’t even speak English at all, but I think that’s highly exaggerated -- anti-German sentiment more than anything, you know. One thing that’s for sure, though, is that what he says goes. He’s even ostracized his own son and heir, so I’ve heard, since he was more popular with the British people. But he also can’t stand the Tories -- they never quite accepted his claim to the throne, over the Stuarts...honestly, there are a lot of people who’ve never really warmed up to the man...”

“And financially?” asked Carewyn.

Percy considered this. “...Well, the King’s very wealthy, certainly -- everyone knows that. But I suppose profit would always be advantageous, for the sake of the Empire...”

Carewyn smiled wryly and shook her head. “The Navy has been commanded by the East India Trading Company more than the King himself, as of late. Beckett once equated money with power, and I think there was a reason. If the King’s been leaning so heavily on the Company, that tells me that it had financial resources the Crown is in desperate need of, so the Crown’s own coffers currently depend on the Company’s success.”

Ben got an delighted, devious glint in his eye.

“Bet he’ll be absolutely thrilled to hear what happened to his fleet, then,” he said sarcastically.

Ashe and Carewyn exchanged a smirk too.

“I reckon you could play to that desperation,” said Ashe dryly. “A lack of or loss of wealth is a very common fear among men, I’ve found.”

Carewyn nodded in agreement. 

Within twenty days, the HMS Royal docked in London, a few days ahead of schedule thanks to the almost miraculously clear weather and friendly winds. Carewyn then traveled with Percy, Ashe, and Ben to Kensington Palace. It was only one of many castles owned by the King, but according to Percy, it was the one King George I had renovated the most, so Carewyn sussed out that it was likely his favorite of his residences and so, in her opinion, the best place to seek him out first. Her intuition turned out to be spot-on -- as it turned out, both King George I and his son the Prince were there, and although the King was occupied with his Ministers and couldn’t meet with them until that evening, Prince George Augustus was eager to meet the famous Admiral Weasley and requested an audience in one of the royal drawing rooms.

The Crown Prince of England was an amiable and warm, but not a very clever or intellectual man of about forty years. He expressed a lot of interest in Carewyn’s experience as a Navy hero, sounding rather like a child as he questioned her about facing off against the likes of Orion Amari and the crew of the dreaded ship Revenge. Carewyn did have to tailor her stories somewhat, but after a while, she was able to get Prince George comfortable enough that they ended up talking casually over a game of Cribbage, where Carewyn gleaned a few other helpful insights. For one, Carewyn learned that both the King and Prince knew several languages, the first being French, which was the preferred language at court as well as among royals abroad. She also found out that the royal family had never visited the colonies themselves, and that King George I’s leading advisor on matters of business -- the First Lord of the Treasury, Sir Robert Walpole -- had been personally putting more stock in the East India Trading Company than on investing any additional money into the colonies. From the sound of things, he believed as Cutler Beckett did in the power of money over noble ancestry, and yet the Prince conceded that his wife and father both thought well of him and that he was relatively amiable.

When Carewyn finally got her audience with King George I, she sure enough encountered Sir Robert Walpole. He was a broad middle-aged man with a powdered white wig curled into ringlets who stood beside the gray-wigged, tiny-eyed elderly King -- and the news of Cutler Beckett’s fate and the outcome of the confrontation at Shipwreck Cove visibly troubled him. As Carewyn had thought, the Crown had been counting on the East India Trading Company’s profits to flow back toward England to offset the national debt brought on by the War of Spanish Succession and Britain’s other conflicts...and so, when she made her proposal to the King, she felt rather confident.

“Votre Majesté...the scourge of piracy is indeed a threat, not just to the lives of our citizens, but to the Empire’s prosperity. But the East India Trading Company is a business -- they’re not trained in military matters, nor do they know how best to use the resources of the British Crown to combat this problem. They’re not equipped to deal with sensitive matters of state, which truthfully, I believe this to be. We don’t need to get England tied up in another military conflict...particularly when there’s a much more cost-effective alternative.”

King George I raised his graying eyebrows with some interest, but did not speak.

“And what alternative would you suggest, Admiral?” asked Walpole, looking rather curious himself.

“Investing in the colonies,” said Carewyn very firmly. “There’s still a lot of undeveloped land out there -- a lot of trading potential in beaver skins, lumber, and tobacco -- the possibility of wealth that’s been left untapped by the East India Trading Company, with their intense focus on Asia. These men who have become pirates, many of them, were privateers under us during our War against the Spanish. They know shipping and are in need of honest work. They’ve asked for it explicitly. I say that we offer pardons to those pirates who would be willing to work for a new trading company in New England -- one that can be for the colonies what the Company in India already is.”

Walpole frowned deeply in thought, considering the proposal. King George straightened up slightly in his throne so he could peer down at Carewyn with a beady eye.

“You believe, truly, that these criminals would want honest employment?” the old man asked.

His voice was very quiet and laced with a husky German accent. Apparently Percy was right to think the rumors that he couldn’t speak English weren’t true, but he seemed a bit uncomfortable with the language, all the same.

Carewyn smiled at the King. “Oui, mon roi. Beasts can survive on human flesh alone, but humans need a home and money in order to live well. Et les pirates...pardon, I hope that word is correct...sont juste les humains.”

King George’s tiny eyes softened noticeably.

“Your French is very poor, Admiral,” he said in rather smug amusement, “but your word choice is correct.”

He looked at Walpole. “What say you, Earl?”

Walpole considered his answer. “...It could be an interesting proposition -- were we able to locate someone who’d be willing to put his name, reputation, and estate on the line, to fund such a company...”

“I volunteer.”

Ben took a step forward and gave a low, but clipped bow to the King.

“Lord Earl, Your Majesty, this is Captain Gordon Cooper, of the HMS Royal,” Carewyn introduced him. “He was instrumental in helping me lead our men during the battle at Shipwreck Cove.”

“I already have a small sum of money saved up, your Majesty -- enough to purchase one or two ships of my own, to start with,” said Ben. “I truly believe that the profits I could make with those two ships just from offering safe passage to the colonies would be enough to fund the purchase of another. All I’d need would be some collateral to pay a crew for each ship in advance.”

"A standard ship would only need about ten well-bodied men to sail it and transport its cargo efficiently,” Carewyn said quickly, seeing the slight hesitation in the King’s expression. "I’m no expert in finance -- ” she inclined her head respectfully in Walpole’s direction, “ -- but in order to settle more land in the colonies, trees would have to be cut down...which means more lumber to transport back to England. If the people Captain Cooper’s ships are transporting are settlers who are incentivized to build homes there -- possibly with the promise of land ownership -- then their arrival alone would spark a boom of lumber sales. That could then pay back the investment several times over.”

Walpole’s lips spread into a smile, one wryer than the King’s. He was clearly a much more discerning man than either of the two Georges, but he seemed pleased by the proposition, nonetheless.

“...Indeed it could,” he granted. He glanced at the King. “I daresay old Townsend would be pleased to have some financial leverage for his talks with the Spanish and French...”

“Mm...”

King George I gave a short, pompous nod before turning back to face Carewyn and the others.

“Very well. I grant my favor.”

Walpole inclined his head to Ben. “Captain Cooper, the Crown grants you and your Company permission to sail. We shall provide you a loan of 10,000 pounds sterling for your first twenty sailors and any necessary ship repairs, to be paid back with interest within a year. If your sailors complete a successful -- namely, profitable -- round-trip expedition to London on board those ships, then they will receive a full pardon from the British Crown for their past crimes and be permitted to continue working as part of your Company.”

Carewyn’s companions’ eyes all lit up.

“Understood,” said Ben, his face consumed by a huge grin.

“Admiral Weasley will deliver the terms to the pirates -- quietly,” said the King with a stern eye. “I expect written reports and good results.”

Carewyn’s face burst into a brilliant smile too, which she tried to obscure when she brought an arm up to her chest and gave a low bow.

“Mais oui. Merci, votre Grace -- we’ll work hard pour England, et pour vous aussi.”

The King’s eyes sparkled with the trace of a wry smile. “Vous etes un garçon très divertissant, Amiral. J'espère que votre français se sera amélioré lors de notre prochaine rencontre.”

With the King’s blessing, Ben purchased the ships needed in London and, with Percy’s help, prepared them for their first expedition. Carewyn returned to the HMS Lion with Ashe, taking it out to sea just far enough that the Flying Dutchman could emerge from the water and pull up alongside the Navy ship. Carewyn relayed King George I’s decision to Jacob in her cabin, and the Captain of the Flying Dutchman was so overwhelmed with pride that he threw his arms around his little sister and squeezed her with all of his strength. Carewyn, however, found herself unable to celebrate.

“What’s wrong, Wyn?” said Jacob. He tilted his head to look at her, his eel-like ponytail twitching almost curiously behind him. “You did it -- you convinced the King. The Lords at Shipwreck Cove, all the people who live there, will be able to live normal lives again, and it’s all thanks to you.”

“I know,” said Carewyn lowly.

Despite herself, she just couldn’t meet her brother’s gaze. Her eyes lingered on his shoulder.

“...I just wish I could’ve given you that kind of normal life too,” she admitted.

Jacob’s blue eyes darkened. Bringing up both of his arms, he encircled Carewyn and held her tightly against his chest as he rested his head on top of hers. Carewyn bit her lip, trying to hold in her emotions as best she could.

“I wanted to bring you home,” she murmured. “The whole reason I wanted to fight for a world where pirates could be forgiven was because I wanted you to be able to come home...you and Bill and Charlie and Jules and Orion...”

Jacob squeezed Carewyn that bit tighter. Both Cromwells were crying now, even though they both stubbornly fought to keep themselves from breaking down into full sobs.

Ashe shared a grim look  with Jacob over Carewyn’s head. Then he came up beside both of them, resting a hand on the crown of Carewyn’s head and leaning his forehead against his lover’s, and hummed something low under his breath. The resonant bass tone seemed to slowly calm Carewyn’s heart and breathing and help the tears ebb.

After a moment, she took a deep breath and looked up at Ashe with muted gratitude, before she turned back to her brother.

“...Now that I’ve done my duty and made sure the Crown’s terms were delivered, I intend to send in my resignation to the Navy. I can’t support Ben’s new Company while I’m still Admiral without worrying about a conflict of interest, after all.”

She offered a weak wry smile, which then slowly morphed into a much more gentle one.

“Besides...I think I’m ready to finally stop fighting.”

Jacob’s teary eyes softened fondly. “Then live, my sweet Wyn. Live in peace and happiness...”

With a heavy breath, he picked up the Dead Man’s Chest he’d brought with him back off Carewyn’s desk and faced Ashe.

“I’ll need to head to the next world soon,” said Jacob. “Would you...?”

Ashe inclined his head in a solemn nod. “Give it to me, Jack.”

Very carefully, Jacob placed the Chest into Ashe’s open hands, trailing his own much dirtier, faintly trembling hands over his lover’s once he’d taken it. His eyes darted from Ashe to Carewyn, looking heartbroken and almost starved -- like he longed so much to never look away from them again.

“Be safe,” Jacob mumbled, “and...please, keep a weather eye on the horizon for me?”

“How dare you ask me that.”

Ashe trailed his lips along the side of Jacob’s face in lingering, messy kisses, only pausing briefly to look him in the eye, blazing brown on blue.

“I will always wait, Jack. I will always find you again.”

Carewyn’s eyes were just as soft as she reached up into the inside pocket of her jacket and slowly withdrew a familiar star-like, sapphire-and-diamond pendant for Jacob to see.

It was the one he himself had given her on Isle de Muerta.

Jacob’s eyes flooded with more tears as Carewyn wrapped both of her arms around her brother’s neck, hugging him tightly just as she had then.

“We’ll be there, Jacob,” she murmured. Two streaks of tears slid from her closed eyes. “I promise.”

Jacob delivered the British Crown’s terms to the Brethren Court at Shipwreck Cove within two days, after he’d returned from ferrying the proper souls to the next life. Within a month, a ship full of twenty sailors had arrived in London, ready to man the red-and-blue-painted ships Ben Copper had purchased. The two ships set sail for the colonies, the first up to New England and the second down to the Caribbean, which allowed Percy to return home to Port Royal and go about his duties as Commodore and Ben to finally be reunited with his love Wendy Gordon and propose marriage as a free and prosperous man.

Once the two ships returned to London another month later, the first wave of pardons was signed. From there, Ben’s enterprise -- the Gordon-Cooper Trading Company -- grew, taking on more ships that then proceeded to employ the once-most-wanted criminals in the world and give them a chance at a new life. And Carewyn -- retiring with full honors from the Navy and settling in New York City with Ashe under her real name for the first time since she was a child -- visited the dock every morning to see every ship that came in.

The first ship to New York brought Ellie Hopper. The once-Pirate Lord of the Mediterranean Sea ended up colliding with the soft-spoken third son of the well-respected horse breeder Johan Schaefer in upstate New York, and the two were married within a few years.

The second ship brought Merula Snyde and the stylish Frenchman Andre Egwu. The captain of the so-called “most powerful ship on the seven seas” continued as a merchant, breaking off from the Gordon-Cooper Trading Company to buy her own ship and engage in the tobacco and sugar trade between New England and the southern colonies. Andre opened up his own clothing shop in Philadelphia and soon became one of the most sought-after tailors in Pennsylvania.

The third ship brought Bill and Jules.

When Bill caught sight of Carewyn at the dock, he practically barreled his way down the ship’s gangplank and shoved a good ten people aside to reach his best friend. The two gingers and Jules then clung to each other for what felt like hours, tears of joy streaming down their faces as Bill trailed a hand through Carewyn’s now-loose-flowing hair and Jules fawned over Carewyn’s pretty new dress.

Bill and Jules also brought a letter from Charlie with them --

My twin, Carey,

I’m sorry I won’t be able to give you this news in person -- but I won’t be accepting my pardon for a while yet.

At Shipwreck Cove, I met a woman named Sarahi (I don’t believe you know her, but she knows you, and Orion spoke very well of her), who grew up in the area of the Pacific Ocean. According to what she’s said, it’s been left largely in chaos since the death of Bartholomew Sharp -- sea serpents, carnivorous sirens, giant squids, the whole lot...and as Pirate Lord of the Pacific, it’s my responsibility to manage things there. But hey, you know I’ve never been afraid of a little adventure! Particularly when I’ve got a good crew on my side. My First Mate Barnaby’s injuries have completely healed, so we, Sarahi, and Samantha O’Connell will be heading out within the next three days on the new and improved Revolution. Sam and Sarahi helped me paint some red dragon wings on the sides, just as a flourish!

I miss you so much, and I miss Bill already, just writing this -- but I know that we won’t ever be truly apart, even when I can only see you in my mind’s eye. I know you’ll probably be worried about me, Carey, but please don’t be. I’d trust my crew with my life -- I already have, honestly, and they sure haven’t let me down yet! I can’t wait for you to meet them. I reckon you’d probably “mother” the hell out of Barnaby, and Sarahi was really happy when I told her how good of a singer you are, so she’s very excited about the prospect of singing with you. And Sam...I reckon you and she will get on famously.

Remember, Carey...we’re family, now and forever! You’ll be in my mind and heart always, until I sail up into New York Harbor and see you again! If Bill hasn’t given you the biggest hug ever for my sake, then give him a good kick to the shin and remind him. Take good care of him, Jules, and Percy for me. Love you so much.

Your brother,

Charlie

Bill and Jules Weasley ended up settling down and starting a family of their own in New York City, just twelve blocks away from where Carewyn and Ashe lived. It was not uncommon over the years for both Carewyn and Ashe to pick up babysitting duties, though Ashe most frequently would just use his particular talent for singing to put any fussy children right to sleep and then drop them off in either Carewyn’s or Jules’s lap.

Over the next six months, more and more red-and-blue ships passed through New York Harbor, dropping off more pardoned ex-pirates so they could start new lives in the colonies. Then one day, toward the end of spring, Carewyn left the brick house she shared with Ashe as if to head for the dock as usual, only to stop mid-step at the sound of someone shouting her name.

“Carewyn!”

She turned around, her ginger hair flourishing behind her as if in slow motion.

A man had just leapt off the back of a carriage he’d been hanging off of without the driver’s knowledge and was now running toward her. Carewyn squinted, taking in his unfamiliar dark ponytail and sailor’s clothes -- then, within seconds, she recognized the handsomely smiling, bearded face and his shining, galaxy-like eyes.

“Orion?” she breathed.

Her heart seemed to seize up, as if it were being squeezed in someone’s hand and yet being given wings at the exact same time. Then she threw herself into a run, and it slammed against her rib cage, as she ran to him, flat-out ignoring how her knees kept getting caught in her hoops and her heeled shoes pinched her feet.

“Orion -- ORION!”

She just about tripped into his arms. Orion caught her and swooped down on her, burying his face in her hair.

“Carewyn...” he murmured against her neck.

“Orion,” said Carewyn.

Her voice was strained with the effort of trying to contain her joy. It felt like she was being stretched at the seams and probably could’ve exploded from all the intense emotions beating at the edges of her heart. She secured her arms around his neck and clung to him -- she brought her lips up to the side of his temple and kissed it, resting her forehead against his briefly before finally pulling away enough to look him in the face.

Orion was beaming from ear to ear as he brought up a hand to trail his thumb gently along her cheek.

“...Carewyn Cromwell...I don’t think you’ve ever looked more fair.”

Carewyn smiled. “Does that mean you like my new look?”

“Yes,” said Orion, his eyes grazing her black-and-white-striped dress and the diamond-and-sapphire pendant tied with a black ribbon around her neck briefly, “but that’s not why you look so fair. You’ve been my moon goddess, previously...but now you are Libertas, personified.”

Carewyn laughed, her face contorted with confusion. “What?”

“Libertas, Carewyn,” repeated Orion, his huge smile never faltering. “The goddess of freedom! Freedom is the most beautiful thing, Carewyn. I’ve longed for it all my life, but never could truly have it, whether because I lacked the means of survival or because I was a pirate who could only live on the run. And when we first met again, on the Artemis...the thing that hurt me the most, seeing you again...was knowing that you were trapped by your position -- enslaved to the duty that made you hide who you were and march lock-step with the likes of Cutler Beckett. But now you...in this moment, here...you are free. It shines in your eyes, on your face -- it radiates off of you like a star, Carewyn. Better still -- because of you, I am free. For the first time in my life...I’m completely free to chase my heart’s desire...”

Orion’s smile seemed to shrink slightly, not out of lack of happiness but out of something almost like nerves, as he reached into his lone remaining belt and slipped out a familiar black-lidded compass.

"McNully, Skye and I have been offered salaried positions with the Gordon-Cooper Trading Company,” he said a bit more seriously, “so I may have to return to sea in the future, but...”

When he opened the compass, its scarlet arrow was pointed right at Carewyn.

“...My heart’s desire has not changed. I would always return, if you...”

He trailed off, his tone oddly shy for how calm his face appeared. The once-Admiral’s red-painted lips spread into a bigger, fuller smile too as she rested her hands on top of his.

“I wouldn’t have married you in the middle of a storm if I didn’t want to build a life with you, Orion Amari,” she said gently. “Or is it Cromwell now? We may want to make a decision about that...”

She smoothed some dark hair out of his eyes.

“I already told you that I want you to have a home. If you need to fly like a bird...then I’ll be your nest.”

Carewyn placed a soft, chaste kiss to his lips. His black eyes softening, Orion brought up a hand to hold the back of her head, holding it in place. He kissed her chastely in return once, twice, and then deepened the kiss on the third go. After he released her, he lingered, his lips brushing up against hers as he smiled down at her.

“...My dear Bedlam maid...I will always follow your song home.”

Carewyn’s blue eyes sparkled affectionately. “Then I’ll never stop singing.”

“See that you don’t,” said Orion, his black eyes glittering with some wry amusement. “I do believe I said I’d envisioned a life for you where you married a man that you could sing for.”

Carewyn laughed quietly, but after a moment, she brought her forehead beside her husband’s, her arms secure around his neck as she held him close and sang for him.

“So now these two are married, and happy may they be, Like turtle doves together, in love and unity.

All pretty maids, with patience wait, that have got loves at sea – I love my love because I know...my love…loves…me.”

#THE END! #*collapses* #holy friggin' s*** #wow #I'm overwhelmed #but happy! #very happy! #83 #interestingly george i died about a year after the end of the golden age of piracy #so really it's a good thing that carewyn was able to make nice with both him and his son who of course became george ii #george ii also retained walpole as an advisor so the piracy pardons would've been able to continue into george ii's reign :) #ashe naturally would spend half his time at carey's place and half on the sea with jacob when he was in the world of the living <3 #and yes charlie would pop into new york harbor now and again with his crew #I just see him living happily ever after on the high seas rather than on land #I'm sure there were other pirates who followed charlie's path too #hphm #hogwarts mystery #carewyn cromwell #potc au #orion amari #jacob cromwell #duncan ashe #percy weasley #ben copper #gwendolyn gordon #samantha o'connell #sarahi silvers #barnaby lee #my art #my writing

[scammydoesstuff]

So let's talk Resident Evil 8 DLC…

I know I don’t really dip my toe into the RE tag, like…at all (except to post some sub-par fanart), but I had a brilliant idea last night that would not only make Capcom so much money but it’d really give the fans what they’re looking for in the DLC.

So, like, we all definitely want more Lady D since she was in so little of the game — we want more Lords in general, frankly, but I know a lot of folks are focused on her for…reasons. Many of us (myself included) want to team up with Daddy Heisenberg to take down Miranda. And many of us would probably just want a pacifist run version where you don’t kill anybody, save for the zombies (since…they’re…already dead, so does it really count?) and Miranda (since she’s pretty much irredeemable) because we love our Lords and killing them didn’t feel satisfying because they didn’t do much to warrant it.

But I submit to you, dear Capcom, that I have the perfect DLC idea that I’ve not seen a lot of people bring up yet (there's been, like one, I just saw in the tags, but otherwise, not a lot towards this yet).

Capcom…

Make a Dating Sim.

Let me explain:

Alright, so you’ll recall that, for RE7, Capcom gave us a DLC where you play as Mia, taking down moldy bois to bring Jack food for his 55th birthday party — appropriately titled ‘Jack’s 55th Birthday’. All fine and good. Everybody was wearing party hats and your guns shot confetti and everything was just so delightful. It was a silly FPS that was just meant to be a fun distraction to give you a good belly laugh after the horrors you’ve endured from the main game. At least as far as I can tell. It’s not like there’s heavy lore or anything here, unlike the others in that DLC pack. It's literally just for funsies.

But I think we all know that RE8 requires something…different. Something that’ll be a real people-pleaser and with so much replay-ability that they’ll be satisfied till RE 9.

And a Dating Sim is that something…I'd also recommend making a ‘mature audiences only’ version that would require payment. I know the game's already rated M for mature, but this 'adults only' version isn't for violence if ya know what I mean.

Think about it. The players of this game find out they can date their favorite Lord? Already you’d have a ton of people lining up to get that DLC — particularly if that part is free. Just getting to date the Lords — or other characters from the game, for that matter. I'm just focusing on the Lords cuz…well, you know why — would be a great foot in the door. People wanna dote on their faves and give them all the affection they can handle (and then some) and just live out their soft fantasies for a hot minute.

But then…The players finding out that they can also fuck their favorite Lord (for a nominal fee) a la Huniepop?

That shit would sell like hotcakes. I’m talking ‘money; hand over fist’. The Lady D and Heisenberg simps alone would be clamoring for that shit, not to mention the Donna fans and Moreau lovers who would love to see those two get some more attention since they were so horribly overlooked in the main game and didn't have near enough focus.

And furthermore! Getting to fuck the Lords as Ethan Winters? All the shippers will have their moment in the sun and bask in their ship gracing their eyes in licensed content. Or hell! Maybe they can fuck Ethan Winters too? I dunno! The Duke? Damn straight! Chris Redfield? Who wouldn’t want a piece of that? Miranda? …Eh…if you hate yourself, I guess…but sure! Any other character from the Resident Evil canon just kinda thrown in there for shits & giggles? That’s your call, my friend! You do you!

But the fact stands; a dating sim is the perfect way to keep people coming back to play again and again. Would it be a lot of effort? Yeah, prolly. I dunno what all goes into making a dating sim, but I imagine it can get complicated with the various dialogue trees and such and that’s a lot for my square brain to wrap around. But hey! It’s a small price to pay for rakin’ in dat dough, am I right?

As for the visuals? I can’t decide what’s funnier? Going ham on the dating sim aesthetic with all the glitter and softness that’d make those characters anime af, or sticking with a horror look — where they look the same as in the main game (though drawn instead of mo-capped, maybe?), but still in a visual novel format (think Doki Doki Literature Club, but they look how they do in the main game, so not super-cutesy/romanticized.) Either way, it’d be hilarious to see these characters in that kinda format, but I think most of us can agree that it’d somehow fit too.

For more silliness? Take a page out of Hatoful Boyfriend’s book and not only let us date the Lords, but let us change their onscreen sprites/avatars(/whatever you’d call them). Don't know what I'm referring to? Well, in Hatoful’s case, the onscreen characters could either be beautiful anime boys…or pigeons.

Photo-realistic pigeons.

I think y'all know where I'm going with this.

That's right! Give us the option between the Lords as we see them in-game or their puppet versions from the Japanese commercials.

Your move, Capcom. I think we both know this is the correct path. Make it happen so you can sit back and watch the money pour in.

P.S. Since I know Capcom won’t do anything near this fun (and also because…I doubt they'd be able to do some of this, like the more risqué stuff), if someone knows how to make a dating sim, please take this idea and run with it. It'd be a lo of fun and I’ve never needed something so badly in my life.

#scammy talks #Capcom #Resident Evil #RE8 #Resident Evil: Village #I’m torn between acknowledging how stupid this is #and by extension how stupid ‘I’ am #and believing it’s the best idea ever #Give me money Capcom #let’s make some BANK #also this is the dumb shit that made me so happy last night #the idea is just very fun to me #again it made me laugh #particularly after a rough day #so share in my silliness I guess #I know I prolly SHOULD tag this with the character names too #but this post isn't SPECIFICALLY about them #and I'd rather just focus the tags to what the post is about #which in this case is RE8 as a whole #I regret everything already

[katsukis-sad-angel]

Hari Kurono as a Boyfriend

Pairing: Hari Kurono (Chronostasis) x Reader

Summary: t   i   t   l   e

Warnings: fluff overload, Chrono being hot

BF Scenarios Tag LIst:

@thedreadthreadanomaly​

A/N: Hello, this is what my brain vomited during quarantine-themed writers block. I hope anyone who reads this enjoys!!

I want to giVE HIM A KISS. KISSES FOR CHrONO *shakes can* KISSES

--

You and Hari have been together since you were children, abandoned by your parents and taken in by the Yakuza boss, raised to be crafty, heartless killers

As we’ve seen, Hari is basically Kai’s babysitter so empathy still resides in his heart

Hari is a little older if not the same age as Kai, but they’re both cute. Change my mind

At first, he is dedicated to Kai and only Kai and his goals, but little by little your sweetness gets him to soften up

When he realized he was in love with his childhood best friend, Hari pushed his feelings away and tried to focus

It didn’t work

You were just so cute and sweet when you played with Eri! 

Plus, you were very very lovely

Kai notices first

You walked into Overhaul’s office to drop off several files he had requested. After being dismissed by a curt nod, Kai Chisaki turned to his colleague; at the moment, Hari was entranced by the way your round behind moved as you exited the room and shut the door behind you.

“Chrono, what the hell are you looking at?”

The hooded man blinked, rousing from his trance and looking around. “E-Excuse me? Did you say something Overhaul?”

“Why were you staring at Y/n’s ass?” 

Hari choked, “I-I wasn’t! Where did you get that from? I don’t like her!” He crossed his arms in a pout, turning away.

Kai smirked at his friend, “You think she’s cute?”

“... Maybe.”

For awhile he denies it, telling himself that you’re not the prettiest thing he’s ever seen

But when you smile at him sweetly when you cross paths in the hallways, all resolve he’d built up immediately disappears

Then, Rappa noticed

He and Hari were talking for some reason when you happened to walk by

You gave them a little wave and continued walking

“Oi… Oi, Stacey! Wake up!” A loud voice pulled Hari from his trance once again. 

Hari cleared his throat, blinked a few times and turned his attention from your receding form to the huge figure in front of him.

“Oooh, I know what’s goin’ on. You like Y/n!” Rappa grinned, looking behind him to see what had his higher-ups attention.

“No, I-I don’t! She’s just an old friend, that’s all!” 

“Well if ya don’t like her, ya sure do like dat ass-”

“Rappa!”

Rappa gave a bark of laughter while an embarrassed Hari tried to push your addictive smile and scent out of his mind. It was near impossible, despite his efforts. 

Were they right?

Rappa and Kai (separately) tease him about it until he finally musters up the courage to tell you his feelings

Honestly, you had never heard sweeter words come out of his mouth:

“Y/n, I, uh…” *clears throat* 

“Chrono? Is something wrong?”

“Ah, no I just… um wanted to tell you something.”

You nodded gently, folding your hands behind your back as you waited for him to speak. When he pulled the mask from his face and looked you directly in the eye, his breathtaking features took you by surprise. 

When his hood pooled around his shoulders, revealing long silvery locks of pointed hair, he finally spoke; “Y/n, we’ve been together since we were children. I remember, that same day we sat outside and watched the orphanage burn down and you cried into my chest for hours, I made a promise. A promise that I would protect you no matter the risk to my own life. You’re like a sister to me, but as of late, I’ve been wishing we were more. This job doesn’t exactly allow us what would be called ‘a normal relationship,’ but I will do everything in my power to make you happy.”

You stood there for several long moments waiting for the cameras and confetti and someone shouting “YOU GOT PUNKED”

But they never came

You couldn’t believe your long-time crush was confessing to you when all you could do was give a wave and a smile

“Chrono, I-”

“I-I’m not trying to force you into anything, I had to get that off my chest or Overhaul and Rappa would never shut up. If I made you uncomfortable, I’m sorry, I-”

You took a step forward and placed a hand on his flushed cheek, brushing your thumb across the expanse of heated skin. “Hari, I feel the same… I have for a long time actually.”

“Really?”

You nod, a goofy grin threatening to spread your lips. “Since forever now that I think about it.” The smile breaks past your defences and Hari finally feels at ease, gently resting gloved hands on your hips and bringing you close.

“Can I do something?” He breathes, nose gently brushing against your own.

“How… how long did you practice that confession?” You whisper as he closes the painful gap and steals your breath with a kiss. After a few blissful seconds, the kiss breaks and you look up at him from under your lashes. “Well?”

“Too long,” He murmurs, diving in for another.

AH

Some poor Hisaikai member probably walks by a few minutes later and catches the second-in-command kissing Overhaul’s secretary

Poor Hari was teased so much by the the rest of the Yakuza for the rest of the week for “snagging” one of the few female members

They’re not above teasing you either, but they don’t wanna mess with Chrono

As a boyfriend, Hari would be more on the quiet side

You can talk his ear off and he wouldn’t care, his philosophy is “you have two ears and one mouth for a reason”

If you had a bad day, there’s a new anime you’re really into, you need a strong, warm shoulder to cry on, or just a simple hug, Hari is there to lend an ear and/or hold you close

He’s got to deal with Chisaki’s tantrums so he’s got god-level patience

That being said, he doesn’t particularly enjoy being disobeyed or teased. You can get away with it most of the time, but sometimes you go a little too far and punishment is fair game

Your relationship is far from being normal

You can’t exactly go on dates

The only time you have together are on your breaks and late, late evenings

Being part of a gang, there is a male around every corner of every corridor and on every side in a lecture hall

Hari is aware of this

Thanks to gossip, the whole gang knows to keep their hands and eyes off unless they want to be dealt with by Chronostasis himself

He’s a very cuddly boi and craves your attention and affection

Hari is a muscular man (if you couldn’t tell) and a great masseur when he has time

Hari is very ticklish

He and Kai trade memes like baseball cards

He’s one of those guys who draws on his skin when he’s bored. Hari is actually pretty embarrassed about this habit, but you think it’s pretty cute

He is not a germaphobe, Hari wears the mask, gloves, and coat to please his nut-job of a boss

His favorite thing about you is your laugh

Laughter isn’t common in the Yakuza hideout and drunken guffaws at the bar don’t exactly count

Real, genuine laughter 

That’s what Hari heard when he showed you the image on his phone his boss had just sent

He had to sit up and make sure you were still breathing; you were dying, tears rolling down your cheeks, hands clutching your cramping stomach, and peals of hearty laughter rolling from your chest as you struggled to breathe

He didn’t get what was so funny, but he couldn’t help but crack a smile when you choked on the water he’d brought to help you calm down

In other words, when you’re happy, so is he. And he doesn’t regret the day he confessed one bit

#YEET #chronostasis #bnha chronostasis #mha chronostasis #mha #bnha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #my hero academia fanfiction #my hero academia x reader #hari kurono #kurono hari #mha imagines #bnha imagines #boku no hero fanfic #boku no hero academia fanfic #boku no hero academia fanfiction #boku no hero #boku no hero x reader #hari kurono x reader #kurono hari x reader #chronostasis x reader #my hero academia headcanons #my hero academia season 4

[folktalesandmythsandlegends]

Seleme and Dionysus

So one day Zeus, the king of the Olympian gods, visited Earth and he saw a drop-dead beautiful woman named Semele. Zeus is all like "I have to have her" because Zeus can't control himself. Ever. So he changes his appearance so Hera, his wife and Queen of the Olympians won't find out and keeps it a secret. So Semele and Zeus start to see each other, and everything is great, until Hera finds out about this. Hera, being the jealous wife/sister of Zeus decides that her honor is ruined, and she's so angry that she's out for blood. She has to destroy Semele at all costs. So she disguises herself as a mortal woman. Not just any mortal woman, she is a handmaiden to Semele herself. Hera becomes BFF's with Semele. She does her hair and nails and helps pick out her outfits and likes all her selfies. Of course, Hera is one of the few Olympians who actually thinks about what to do and had formulated a plan. She wanted all the details on Zeus and Semele's relationship.

 So one day while doing each other’s nails Hera asks Semele, “Do you think your boyfriend actually loves you? I heard a rumor he was actually Zeus, is that true?” 

So thinking that they are great friends Semele says, "Listen, Zeus totally loves me. He loves me so much that he promised to do whatever I ask of him to do. He even played that Ain't No Mountain High Enough song for me and it was so romantic. I guess you could say it's pretty serious." 

Hera thinks to herself "Yes! My totally evil plan to defeat Semele and get back at Zeus is going to be better than I thought! I am so awesome and beautiful." So she goes back to Semele and says that if Zeus would do anything for her she should ask him to show off all his awesomeness, the same way he did when he was dating, Hera. And Semele thinks it’s a great idea. 

So Zeus comes by later and is like "Hey babe, how's it going?"

So Semele says everything is great. So later when they are going on a romantic date at the local drive-in movie theatre Semele says "Hey, do you remember that sacred oath you said about doing anything I ask you?"

And he's all like "Sure I remember. What do you want? Do you want to be Queen of Greece? Or more servants and money?" And she says "No. I want to see all your awesomeness the exact same way you did with Hera." Zeus doesn't want to, but because he promised her, he agreed to show off all his power and awesomeness. He has strobe lights, a disco ball, a fog machine, confetti, there was loud music playing in the background. It was too much awesomeness for Semele so she screamed, burst into flame, and died. Zeus knew he was her baby Daddy though so he grabbed the baby she was six months pregnant with, and sewed him into his thigh to hide him from Hera. So Dionysus grows and when it's time for him to be born, Zeus took out the stitches. He then called Hermes over and said "Hera's going to be so ticked if she finds out Dionysus is still alive. So take him to his Aunt Ino and her husband. And to make sure he is super protected makes him look like a girl." Hermes is like "Kay." And does what Zeus said.

Eventually, Hera finds out that Dionysus survived, and she is super ticked. Like ten times as ticked as Zeus thought she would be. She was so ticked that she made Ino and her husband totally crazy. So Zeus took Dionysus and made him a goat. He gave goat Dionysus to some Asian nymphs to take care of, but Hera found him again and made him crazy times 10. So Dionysus is walking around all over the Mediterranean world in places like Egypt and Syria doing these awful crimes like murder and theft when he runs into Rhea, a great goddess, in Phrygia and she makes Dionysus better and forgave him for the bad things he did. She made him the leader of her cult and gave him oriental clothes and an ivy wreath to wear. And he did wear it and never changed. Ever. He taught everyone how to make wine from grapes and how to farm with yolk and ox. People joined his cult, and everyone was happy.

Well most everyone. This dude named Lycurgus, a King of Thrace did not like Dionysus' cult so he didn't let Dionysus sit with him at the plastic’s table, and imprisoned his followers. Dionysus did not like that, so he made Lycurgus so crazy he thought his son was a grapevine that needed pruning, and he murdered his son by chopping off his arms and legs. So the moment Lycurgus' son died he realized what he had done. But Dionysus was not done. He made all of Thrace barren for such a long time that Lycurgus went to go see an oracle. The King was all like "I must have ticked off Dionysus a lot. What do I need to do to make Thrace lush again?" The oracle responded, "You need to die, idiot." So because the king didn't want to die he tried to keep it a secret. And naturally, because it was a secret, everybody in the kingdom found out and they all killed him. It was a mass meeting of 1-800-choke dat hoe. 

So then Dionysus went to Thebes, and a profit told the King Pentheus that if he had to do all the religious rites for Dionysus. If he didn't, then all the mothers would tear their children's arms and legs off and decorate the woods with the limbs. Pentheus' own mother would kill him that way. But Pentheus didn't believe him. So Dionysus arrives, and the party doesn’t start till he walks in. So everyone in Thebes is having a party and doing the Dionysus cult thing, and King Pentheus gets word of that. Now Pentheus is really angry. He goes around yelling at everyone and saying that he thought Thebes would have had to be taken by force of an army. “It would at least be more honorable than this!” 

So he’s ticked off and demands that Dionysus be captured to determine if he is a fake. But Pentheus’ bros tried to change his mind, but it just made Pentheus even angrier. So his guards went out to try to find Dionysus, but they couldn’t find him because everyone, EVERYONE was too turnt, so they grabbed one of Dionysus’ priests because the guards were afraid to return to the king empty-handed. 

So Pentheus roasts Dionysus in front of the priest when the priest decides to tell Pentheus the story of how he met Dionysus. 

“It’s like this.” He said. “I was a pirate on a ship when the ship got stuck? So me and my crew spent the night and the next morning we woke up and we were thirsty so we went to go look for water, right? So then this dude wearing purple just shows up on the beach! So my crew got together without me and said “dudes I think this guy is a Prince! We could make a fortune if we sold him!” Right? So they go ashore and this guy is high or turnt, or almost asleep so it should have been easy to chain him right? Wrong! No matter how they tried to put the chains on they kept falling off. They were seriously tripped up by this. But somehow they got him on our boat, and I saw him and was like “This guy looks like a god, and that thing with the chains, he has to be a god.” So then I was yelling at my crew like “Dudes, this guy is a god for real for real! He even looks like a god, and you can’t see that? You might have captured Zeus, or his bro Poseidon, or Zeus’ son Apollo, fools! We can’t take him, ya’ll are trippin,” but my captain was like “Nah bro, you’re crazy just make like Miley Cyrus and Do Your Thing, and we’ll deal with this guy. This dude is rich, not immortal, but the gods must have sent him here to make us rich, you know what I’m saying?” 

“So right then the dude wakes up, and is like “Where am I, how did I get here?” But the captain was like “You can hitch a ride with us. Where do you want to go?” So the dude said, “My home is on the island of Naxos.” So the captain was like “Lit, we’ll take you there.” But I knew that this fool was lying, so I didn’t do my job. So the captain made someone else steer the ship. So we are sailing when Purple dude says “Wait we’re not heading towards Naxos! How could you? I came out to have a good time and honestly, I’m feeling so attacked right now.” Then the ship stopped right there, like no movement, like it was dead. So we’re sitting there when suddenly homie points to the sail because there is a grapevine growing, but with vines of ivy growing and a bunch of other fruit and everything was getting covered and then it started to smell sweet, and the deck started to get covered in wine, and everyone was terrified, I mean terrified. We all looked at the purple dude who was really angry. He had on a wreath of ivy and grapes and was shaking a pole called a thyrsi that was covered in ivy and grapevines. Then all these animals appeared out of nowhere by his feet. Like a lynx a tiger and a panther. Then Yogi bear showed up and he was angry, and the dude was too. So he changed into this huge lion and killed the captain. So now everyone is running around trying to find a way to get away, ‘cuz this was some messed up stuff. They were tearing away vines to try to get to the oars that wouldn’t move, when their hands turned to fins, straight up! So they are all trying to jump overboard now, and as soon as they hit the water, BOOM! They were dolphins, for real! Nineteen of my bros became nineteen dolphins. So the young dude turns back into himself and was like “You’re cool, so I saved you. By the way I’m the son of Zeus, Dionysus.” So that was that, and since then me and my Immortal bro Dionysus are tight. And we get more mortal followers all the time, straight up.” 

Pentheus was ticked off. “YOU CAN’T SIT WITH US! Take him away and beat him up, then kill him for that stupid story!” 

So the guards were preparing his torture and saying to each other that they needed to let him go, when suddenly there was an earthquake, and the door opened and the chains fell and the priest walked out with a fog machine blowing smoke behind him. So the guards ran up to Pentheus and told him what happened. And Pentheus was like “Am I the only one that can do things the right way?” So he goes out and starts stalking Dionysus and all his followers on Facebook and Twitter, and Tumblr, and Pinterest, etc. He wants to know how Dionysus gets all his followers and friends. So he is looking at the likes and spying on them in a tree because he had gotten so mad at hearing the hysteric songs and shrill screams. He keeps looking and watching, trying to figure out how to defeat this “boy” when his mother sees him in the tree. She gets so mad at the fact that he is spying on all Dionysus’ followers and watching them do their rites and rituals that she takes out her iStone 11 and calls her friends to help her chase this boar that is destroying the land. So Pentheus runs like a mad man, but the women are so much faster and they catch him and cut off his hands. Pentheus starts to yell out to his mother in a desperate attempt for her to recognize him, but just like Lycurgus before her, she didn’t recognize her own son. He begged her, but she said the last words Pentheus ever heard. “This trophy of the hunt is mine!”  So she cut off his head and put it on a thyrsus and scattered his body everywhere. Later at the party, she realized what she did and showed everyone. They were so afraid, but Dionysus had taken over their kingdom and everyone was happy. Well except for Hera who was angry that Dionysus could turn people to dolphins and make mothers and fathers kill their own children. Everywhere he went she tried to stop him by punishing everyone else, but she never directly punished Dionysus. Dionysus continued on his road trip to get more followers. He even went back to Naxos and married a girl named Ariadne. On one of the last of his travels, he went down into a Burning Ring of Fire, also known as Hades, or the underworld. In the underworld, he found his mother Semele, who he renamed Thyone. He brought her up to Mt. Olympus to live happily ever after. 

The version of this myth was taken from Mythology and You: Classical Mythology and Its Relevance To Today’s World by Donna Rosenberg and Sorelle Baker

Notes

Some versions of the myth cite Semele as a princess of Thebes, some not only say she was a princess but the daughter of the founders of Thebes, Cadmus, Prince of Thrace brother to Europa, and Harmonia, who was the daughter of Ares and Aphrodite. A scholarly analysis of another version says Semele could have been a priestess. 

In other versions of the myth, after the “second birth” of Dionysus, instead of giving Dionysus to Ino and her husband, Zeus had Hermes give him to the nymphs of Nysa where he stayed until manhood. Another version says Dionysus was given to Ino and her younger sister Argave who eventually betrayed Dionysus. Ino was punished, most likely by Zeus, by making her go mad and jumping into the sea with her own son where they were saved by the sea nymphs and stayed forever helping sailors.

In another version of this myth, when Dionysus made his way to Thrace, Lycurgus still opposed the worship Dionysus was leading, insulted, and set out to capture Dionysus. However, Dionysus retreated to the ocean only to return later and defeat Lycurgus. As punishment, Dionysus  imprisoned him in a cave until he went mad and realized Dionysus was a god whence Zeus struck Lycurgus blind. Lycurgus died soon after.

Almost every version talkies about the pirates who captured Dionysus, but it varies on how. One version says that Dionysus hired the Pirates after retreating to the ocean from Lycurgus and coming up on the wrong side. Other versions say he was taken while conscience and cocky and others say he was fast asleep when captured. One aspect that remains consistent is the fact that Dionysus was going to be used to get money either via ransom or sold into slavery in Egypt or other lands and at least one person objected to this arguing he might be a god. All versions have Dionysus making the sailors go bonkers.

The “Asian Nymphs” are most likely from Persia or Asia Minor which is modern day Turkey. This is my own educated guess based on the idea that, according to the myth, he wandered in that region.

Some versions have Dionysus travel as far as India.

After leaving Nysa a version of the Myth has him travel to Crete to grant Midas’ wish to turn everything he touches to gold. Chronologically, I am uncertain as to when Dionysus granted Midas’ wish, but the myth of King Midas does have Dionysus grant the wish. 

Naxos, Thrace, Thebes, and Phrygia are not close together and on a map this is clearly seen. Ultimately, this was the reason I choose to start my Greek Myths with this story. We can see the sphere of influence that the Hellenic world had on the the surrounding area and get a better idea on how large the Hellenic area is even if the majority of the myth only takes place in the Aegean.

Yellow-Thrace

Red- Thebes

Purple- Naxos

Blue- Phrygia (slightly more south east than placed but unable to be seen from the above map.)

Sources Referenced

D’aularies’ Book Of Greek Myths by Ingri and Edgar Parin D’aularie’s

Mythology And You: Classical Mythology and Its Relevance To Today’s World by Donna Rosenberg and Sorelle Baker

Mythology: Timeless Tales Of Gods and Heroes by Edith Hamilton

Tales Of The Greek Heroes by Roger Lancelyn Green

#Greek Myths #greek mythology #dionysus #greek myth retellings #Dionysus Myth

[okietokiee]

Fic: Hjönk, Hjönk

Pairing: Skwisgaar Skwigelf/Toki Wartooth

Rating: M

I was really inspired by @picklespunchedme @bittebecca @sonderrbeee ‘s various fan art of clown!Skwisgaar 😳 thanks so much for letting me write a fic based on your gorgeous art!! 💕 

Summary: 

Skwisgaar makes some especially harsh remarks which cause Toki to start avoiding him, and the lack of contact is really starting to make the Swede’s sex drive go absolutely haywire. 

Fortunately, Skwisgaar comes up with a genius (albeit horrifyingly embarrassing) plan to make it up to his hot-tempered boyfriend lover. 

And Toki positively loves it. Perhaps a little too much. 

——————

Skwisgaar knew he had fucked up. 

After countless years of brutally harsh, biting criticisms and demeaning insults, Toki had finally had it. Normally he was able to take Skwisgaar’s comments, admittedly not always in a stride, but with minimal bloodshed (most of the time). And he wasn’t even completely sure what was different about today, about the disparaging remarks he’d grown used to throwing out daily. 

Maybe it was the stress of having to record a whole knew album from scratch? The stress of the rising tensions becoming so goddamn obvious lately? He knows he’s not the smartest person around, but you’d have to be blind to not see the cracks forming in their band’s already fragile dynamics. He knows it’s not just affecting Nathan and Pickles.

But whatever the underlying causes were, all it took was an offhand, “That’s was fuckins dildos, dos it agains idiots,” during a slow-moving rehearsal to get Toki raging like a spoiled five-year-old kid told that no, he could not have candy for dinner. 

After screeching and using his flying-V to destroy a fair amount of their studio and sound equipment, Toki had tired himself out and retired to his bedroom. 

He’d also taken to avoiding him for the past week. And maybe the Skwisgaar from a few years ago wouldn’t have (outwardly) cared so much, but ever since they’d shared an earth-shattering, momentous night together just months before, they’d both been inhabiting the same bed for a majority of nights. 

And, though Skwisgaar would rather die a painful death by firing squad than admit it to anyone, Toki had been the only person he’d been sleeping with ever since that night. He loathed to label it as anything serious, but that didn’t change the fact that he was painfully reluctant to break this surprising streak of faithfulness, his longest one yet. 

However, regardless of how much he didn’t want to sleep with anyone that wasn’t a dopey Norwegian guitar player with a penchant for tantrums and hissy fits, that didn’t change the fact that his sex drive was going fucking haywire. 

Storming into the Mordhaus living room, he irritably asked, “Has anyones seens our dildos rhythm guitarist?”

“Eh, I think he went out drinkin’ with thet clown again,” a stoned out Pickles mumbled from the couch. 

“Whats!? I thoughts we puts a restrainings orders on dat creep!”

Nathan sighed from a nearby desk, putting down his book. “Yeah, we did. But you know that kid. He just loves those fucking clowns.”

That unfortunate string of words made an idea pop up in Skwisgaar’s head. 

“…coulds you repeats dat?”

“I said he loves those goddamn clowns.”

“Nos, de odder words!”

Nathan glared, confused. “Those fucking clowns?” 

Skwisgaar grinned manically. “Ja! Dat weirdos loves fucking clowns!”

Pickles could be heard potentially dying of laughter a few feet away. 

Nathan narrowed his eyes, a disgusted grimace on his mouth. “I know you suck at English Skwisgaar, but ugh. That’s some brutal imagery.” 

Skwisgaar, ever the trooper, did not let the revolting thoughts affect him, as his plan was coming to fruition in his mind. Yes, Toki was annoyingly fond of childish gimmicks, clowns included. Toki could never even stay mad at Dr. Rockso, an old drugged-up, strung-out rock-and-roll clown, no matter what shit that creepy asshole put him through.

Yes, he knew what he had to do. He didn’t like it one bit, and it could potentially ruin his reputation completely if word ever got out that he even considered this.

But… 

Skwisgaar bit his lip, his thoughts suddenly full of brown whiskers and childish giggles. 

It would be worth it.

——————

Hours later, Skwisgaar was regretting every single choice he’d ever made in life that had led up to this point. He felt like a fool and looked like one too.

His only solace was that the random klokateer he’d ordered to find him this costume was no longer capable of ever blabbing his secret to anyone, at least in any way that involved a functional mouth. Or hands. 

And now he found himself pacing around Toki’s small room, waiting for the little dildo to get back home. The sound of his baggy blue and yellow pants swishing and the stomping of his large red shoes did nothing to alleviate his growing anxiety. 

Skwisgaar scratched at his neck, careful not to smudge any of the meticulously applied clown make-up he’d taken an hour to perfect. He was vaguely grateful that his experience with corpse paint made this endeavor slightly easier, but also horrified at exactly how naturally circus make-up came to him. 

As he was pondering his deteriorating mental state, he heard the door creak open and a surprised, ear-shattering, absolutely delighted squeal. 

Toki crashed face-first into his chest, holding tighter than a newborn koala to its mother. 

“Oh Odin! Yous a real cool clowns Skwisgaar!” Toki gleefully said, nuzzling the red ruffles around his neck. 

Skwisgaar was glad his red cheeks were camouflaged by the blindingly white paint. 

“Eugh… Ja, I guess I ams,” the Swede nonchalantly agreed, not meeting his lover’s eyes. 

Toki paused from his snuggling, and gazed adoringly up at Skwisgaar’s embarrassed face. 

“Skwisgaar… Dids you do dis because you know Tokis been mads at yous?”

Skwisgaar coughed awkwardly and avoided his gaze. “Maybes if a dumb dildos hadn’t beens avoidins me for sos long, it woulds not haves come to dis…”

Toki smirked. “Yous just proving Toki needs to do dat more often.” 

“Fucks you-!”

“Okej,” Toki cut him off with a contented sigh, cuddling into Skwisgaar’s colorful, silky costume even more.

This was the closest they’d been in a week, and Skwisgaar’s body was responding rather excitedly to their close proximity. 

Toki giggled, feeling the growing hardness coming from Skwisgaar’s loose trousers, and he pulled the Swede over to the bed and pushed him down, crawling right on top of him and going in for a deep, fervent kiss. With the right angle, Toki was able to avoid dislodging the bright red clown nose on his lover’s face. 

With a few well-practiced maneuvers Skwisgaar was able to bring Toki down to only his underwear, but when he made movements to remove his own ridiculous clothes he was stopped by a firm hold. 

“Nos, keeps it on.” Toki’s flushed, erotic expression was very convincing. 

“Ja, fines…” Skwisgaar groaned, canting his hips up, desperate for any kind of friction. 

Toki smiled, reaching for the lube that has been ever-present at his bedside table for the past few months. He took a moment to take in Skwisgaar’s smudged clown make-up and gorgeous, smoldering expression. The juxtaposition was disorienting. 

“Skwisgaar…?” 

“Ja Tokis?” 

“Do yous maybe… I knows we havent’s dones it likes dis yet, but,” Toki mumbled, his face red and expression coquettish, “I think I wants to tries to take it.”

Skwisgaar was at a loss for words, his mind (and body) already overheating. So far Toki had been the only one topping, citing his lack of experience with men and dislike of being dominated as his main reasons for wanting to avoid switching positions. And Skwisgaar hardly cared, always being very satisfied by Toki’s eager enthusiasm.

But the thought of finally being able to become so wholly one with Toki had Skwisgaar’s head spinning and heart racing. 

“Of course älskling, as long as yous ready,” Skwisgaar said, rubbing circles on Toki’s naked hips. 

Toki’s eager nodding was answer enough and then he wiggled out of his underwear. 

Skwisgaar leaned forward to get a hold of the lube, but Toki pushed him back down. 

“Yous just watch for nows,” Toki murmured with a sweet smile, opening the lube to prepare himself. 

Skwisgaar couldn’t handle watching a mewling, trembling Toki Wartooth preparing himself for long without feeling like he was going to literally explode into a cloud of confetti. The Swede pushed his own baggy pants down, not fully taking it off but exposing his painfully erect manhood. He moaned, giving himself a few strokes as he continued watching his lover teasing him. 

Finally, after what felt like eternity, Toki stopped and got another generous dollop of lube for Skwisgaar Jr. before lining himself up on the Swede’s lap. 

Skwisgaar watched enraptured as Toki slowly lowered himself down with a seductive whine and several sensuous movements of his hips. 

“Ah, fuckins hell Toki,” Skwisgaar cried, thrusting up desperately. 

Toki reciprocated in kind with more moans and wet, raunchy kisses, ruining a good portion of Skwisgaar’s make-up. 

As it was getting especially intense, their movements both in sync and frantic, Toki leaned down and did something incredibly peculiar and, honestly, kind of hot, at least to Skwisgaar’s current fucked-out-of-his-mind state. 

“Hjönk, hjönk,” Toki murmured with a smile as he squeezed the large, squeaky clown nose on Skwisgaar’s face with something akin to reverence. All without once pausing his fast, unmerciful pace. 

Skwisgaar was too goddamn horny and in love to question this, and he just responded by increasing his thrusts as well as his volume. 

“Ah, for the loves of Odins, Toki I’ms gonna-” he punctuated with a shout, feeling Toki tighten around him. 

After a long moment of blissful euphoria for both of them, Toki collapsed on top of him, breathing heavily and sneaking a few affectionate kisses along his neck. 

“So ams guessings you not mads anymore?” Skwisgaar snickered, running his fingers through Toki’s now tangled, sexily-ruffled hair. 

Toki giggled and playfully gave Skwisgaar’s big red nose, which surprisingly hadn’t fallen off at all during their vigorous lovemaking, a few more squeezes, filling the small room with obnoxiously loud honking noises. 

“Nah, buts if you does something like dis every time I gets mad at yous then I gonnas make sure to be angry evens more oftens.” Toki chuckled, snuggling up to Skwisgaar’s now cum and sweat stained clown costume. 

Skwisgaar sighed, equal parts hopelessly exasperated and desperately fond. 

“Wells enjoys it while yous cans you dildo, dis ams not likelys to ever, ever happens again,” Skwisgaar said firmly. 

Toki grinned mischievously and lifted himself up.

“I thinks Toki cans change yous mind abouts dat,” he declared proudly, slipping out of bed to walk over to his nearby work desk. He leaned over it enticingly, ass up, giving Skwisgaar the most pornographic come-hither look the Swede had ever seen. 

“Comes over heres and let’s me convince yous,” Toki murmured suggestively, giving his cute butt a little shake. 

And that night was the first of many that the halls of Mordhaus were filled with the echos of passionate Scandinavian honking and lovemaking. 

——————

I don’t think Hjönk actually translates to anything but god I love that word LOL 

Also, sorry for any weird mistakes I didn’t catch! I’ll edit it and maybe add some extra stuff soon and then post it on ao3 :D

#about to board a 13hr flight and im glad i was able to post this first LOL #also im only a lil bit ashamed to admit that ya i totally get the clownkink toki probs has :') #metalocalypse #dethklok #mtl #skwistok #skwisgaar skwigelf #toki wartooth #my fanfic #fanfiction #lemon #clowns

[radamazard]

Worthy

My first piece for @theninozine

It was such a blast being part of something that celebrates my favourite boi!

————

A heavy sigh joined the sounds of blaring traffic, its impatience mixing perfectly with the hectic melody that was rush hour in Paris.

Nino had been waiting, barely managing to contain his own excitement for what was to come. For months he’d been planning this, had been raving to anyone that would listen for even the slightest moment and now it was finally here.

Daft Punk, live in Paris, and he’d scored himself a VIP pass!

It sat proudly around his neck, and the glossy plastic bounced with him as he waited on jittery feet. To think, in less than three hours, he’d be watching his heroes right before his very eyes...

The mere thought of it had him vibrating with unrestrained joy, and if he weren’t in public he probably would have lapsed into an embarrassing little… well, his mother liked to call it his ‘excited dork jig’. Personally, Nino thought it was closer to a total cringe fest, but hey, to each their own.

A ridiculous grin split across his face as the light turned green and Nino dashed across the street. The station was in his sights, and he felt his heart beat in time with his steps as he drew closer. As fate would have it though, he never stepped foot in the station.

Right by the entrance he barreled towards, Nino caught sight of a short old man. If asked to describe him, he probably would have said he looked strikingly like Mr Miyagi from the Karate Kid movies, only with a louder sense of fashion. Yet that wasn’t what drew is attention. No, that was the large box the elderly man was clearly struggling to carry.

For just a moment Nino considered ignoring him. After all, he’d been looking forward to this for months and saving up for the ticket hadn’t been easy. But he couldn’t just leave the old guy like that… Could he?

A pained groan hit his ears, setting his choice in stone.

“Hey, let me help you out, du- uh, sir,” Nino offered, as he came up to the old man and took the box. A sharp ‘omph!’ slipped past his lips at the unexpected weight. Man, how had the guy been carrying this?!

“A kind offer, young man. But were you not in a hurry? If you have someplace to be I can manage on my own,” the elderly man replied with a kind smile. There was a twinkle in his eyes, a wordless promise that no ill will would be held. As tempting as that was though...

“Nah, it’s chill. Can’t leave a dude to struggle alone now, can I?”

The old man’s smile only grew, as he gave a sagely little nod.

“Well then, I won’t refuse your kindness. Would you mind helping me get it home? I live only a few blocks from here,” He asked, and was delighted to see the brunet nodding, even as the boy shot the station one last wistful look.

“Lead the way, gramps!” Nino declared brightly. The box pressed tight to his chest, jamming the now useless pass between them. Yet he followed the stranger with a dutiful smile. Together they walked, Nino blind to the tiny turtle god who lay hidden in Fu’s pocket, beaming with pride.

———

The second time Nino met the old man, who he now knew as Mr. Fu, was when he was running stupidly late. Umbrella clutched tight and phone pressed to his ear, he ran, stumbling and careening wildly in the heavy Parisian rain.

“Frick Als, I swear, I had the alarms set and everything!” He cried out in defence, even as he could practically hear his girlfriend’s eyes roll. How she managed that through tone alone he’d never know. “I just- I got hella into the zone and you know what it’s like there! The world vanishes and freedom ain’t even an opinion until you’re violently eje-”

“I know, I know,” Alya cut him off, in a such a way that Nino knew he was forgiven. Thank fuck. “Trust me babe, I know. I’ve been there. I’ve missed more than my fair share of dat-”

A snort interrupted her, and a shudder ran down Nino’s spine as he swore he could feel her heated glare burning holes through his skull. Swiftly, he shut the heck up, knowing better than to say anything more.

“Share of dates. Just- the movie is starting, okay? Get here in ten mins or you’re losing your ticket to Marinette!”

He knew Alya was just playing around… mostly. It’d take a serious dick move for that to be a serious threat, and right now? His dick level was only puddle deep.

As luck would have it though, that was when Nino spotted one very drenched Wang Fu. There was a moment of silence as he watched the man, shirt dripping like a wet dog, hide under a small tree. He looked utterly defeated, defenceless in the sudden rainstorm that had hit only five minutes before.

There was no way he could just leave the guy like this! Not in such miserable weather, where he’d surely freeze his frail old ass off. Not so far from home, at least a half hour from here.

Empathy and hesitation fought it out for a long moment. On the one hand, Alya was waiting for him and he doubted Fu had even seen him. But on the other hand, it was such a dreary sight.

Firmly, and with a certain decisiveness, Nino sighed.

“Give it to Mari, Als. Have a good time with her, ‘kay? I’m not gonna make it in time,” Nino said quietly, as he approached the man and held the umbrella up between them. Warm brown eyes looked up, surprised, before a gentle familiarity settled in.

“Ah, Nino, was it? How good to see you again,” Fu said, with the genuineness of a doting grandfather visiting his grandchildren. “Such perfect timing too. I was starting to think I would be washed away with the storm!”

From across the phone line Alya sighed with a great warmth. “You just can’t help yourself, huh?” she chuckled, her tender mirth intertwined with the quiet static of the rain. “You’re lucky I love you, you doof.”

“I love you too, babe. Sorry again, But I just can’t- you know?”

“Yeah, I understand. Go be the hero I love, Captain Turtle.”

A soft smile graced his lips as Alya hung up, and to his slight embarrassment, he caught Fu staring.

“You needn’t give up your date for my sake,” Fu urged, rather concerned for the teen he’d only met once before. “Please, don’t let a foolish old man and a little rain ruin your day.”

Despite the temptation, Nino only shook his head.

“Nah, it’s chill. I’d feel guilty knowing you were out here, freezing your ass off and soaked to the bone. Where you heading? I’ll walk you.”

“Such kindness,” Fu remarked, earning an awkward laugh from Nino and a shake of his head. “I was heading to the grocer, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course I don’t mind, Mr Fu dude, just lead the way.”

————

The third time Nino met the guardian was under less than desirable circumstances.

An akuma raged, Bomberina, and the citizens ran and scrambled for cover as she twirled. Each spin produced a small explosive, rendering all that were hit to piles of sparkling, holographic confetti.

Nino had been alone when the akuma had appeared, and he’d swiftly ducked into a nearby alley for cover. A nearby trash can lid had been snatched for defence and he clung to it for dear life. Man, if only he were Carapace right now…

But he wasn’t, and thus he stayed the fuck from the raging battle.

Well he would have, if not for a horrifying sight that caught his eye. Several magic explosives were flying right towards a familiar Chinese man, elderly and seemingly frozen in shocked terror.

Near instantly Nino dove from his hiding place, making a mad dash for the soon to be casualty. Before him he held his flimsy, makeshift shield, and his grip held firm as he threw himself in front of Fu. On instinct alone his stance turned defensive, and he ground his heels in, preparing for impact.

Not seconds later, they came. Explosive after explosive hit his flimsy shield, yet he didn’t falter. Not even as a particularly nasty one hit off centre, forcing his wrist back with a sickening snap. It was only once the akuma had stopped, courtesy of a furious Ladybug, that Nino finally let the highly dented disk clatter to the ground.

A sharp wince broke free from pursed lips, snapping Fu from his shocked daze.

“You’re hurt,” Fu uttered, with a heavy amount of guilt laden sorrow. Nino tried to wave it off, only to cry out harshly at the searing pain it caused.

“I’m f-fine,” Nino swore, despite not feeling fine in the slightest. “Seriously, don’t sweat it. I mean, what was I supposed to do, stand there and watch you get blown up?”

“It is what many would have done in your place,” Fu stated. “Most would not risk themselves so fully, just to help another they barely know. Such kindness towards strangers is rare.”

Silence hung between them, thick as the smoke that filled the air three blocks down, where the fight continued on. Not a word was said as Fu reached out to assess the damage to his saviour’s wrist, and the quiet dragged on as Nino let him. Not a word was spoken as pair ended up at Fu’s place, by the old man’s silent insistence, or as Fu attended to Nino’s broken wrist as best he knew how.

It was only as the miraculous cure spread over Paris, enveloping all and washing clean all damage and pain, that the weight between them was lifted.

————

“I don’t think it’s anything special,” Nino admitted, minutes after the cure bathed him in its healing light. By now Fu vanished for a brief moment, returning with a full pot of his very best tea in thanks for the boy’s heroic act. “I was just, ya know, helping. Like any decent person should. I mean, the world’s already a shitty place. Why be a selfish ass and make it worse? Been there, done that. I wanna do something decent, be someone decent. And a little sacrifice is worth that, right?”

Fu listened intently as Nino spoke, with a certain pride welling within that caused the lad to chuckle sheepishly, as though embarrassed or sheepish.

“Uh, sorry. That was kinda corny, wasn’t it? And rambly.”

“Corny? No. Genuine is the word I would use. Genuine as you are,” Fu affirmed, with an odd amount of decisiveness. “Genuine and kind, with a tendency towards selflessness. Along with a great empathy and loyalty, I would say that Wayzz was right about you.”

There was a beat of silence and Fu took amusement at comical shock that crossed Nino’s face.

“You- Wait, what?”

Wayzz zipped out from hiding, barely holding back a laugh as he watched his part time chosen’s jaw drop.

“Are you saying what I think you are, master?” The kwami asked, and as Fu nodded he gave a little cheer.

“Yes. I believe you were right. It is time I entrust another with you, full time. I won’t deny, I will miss you, old friend. But with the luck I have had,” he paused, a twinkle sparkling in his eyes. “I believe it will not be long before our paths cross again.”

Nino blinked slowly, staring at the incredulous scene of Wayzz, his kwami on loan, leaning his tiny forward against Fu’s.

“Wait…” he said slowly. “What is- what’s going on?”

“Is it not obvious?” Fu teased with a chuckle, warm as the tea steeping between them. “It is time this old man learned to let go and trust a little more. So, Nino Lahiffe, I present to you, the turtle miraculous.”

Carefully, the miraculous was slid off his wrist and placed with great care within Nino’s outstretched palm. In dumbstruck wonder he took it and slid it on.

“Until the time that Hawkmoth is defeated, I would like for you to keep it. Please, take care of Wayzz,” Fu gently uttered, and watched fondly as the pair did a goofy little fist bump. “He is a dear friend of mine.”

“Don’t you worry, du- sir!” Nino exclaimed, with the most brilliant of grins. “I won’t let you down!”

#miraculous ladybug #ml Nino #Nino lahiffe #Carapace #Master Fu

[lance-o-lot]

ittybittydeadbeat replied to your post:"mister lance! i swept up all the confetti from...

“mis – mister lance?!!” itty exclaimed after a moment as it slowly pieced together what he had said. “you look…. you look different. but – but good different! not that you’re a bad different when you’re not young….. umm….. so a magic grey ghost did this to you? do…. do you like it?”

“Tis naht dat bad...ah jalouse.”

The mechanic shrugged lightly in response, hoping his accent wasn’t too thick for the other to understand. He forgot how how strong it was when he was younger. Lord, it was going to be a miracle if anyone understood him right now.

“Ahtherwise, a'm pretteh fine...cooehld uise a‘ drenk.”

#IC #{Lance} #ittybittydeadbeat #M!A: Younger Years #M!Anon: Younger Years #I really hope Itty can get all this #XD

[thecraftgremlin]

In A Little Pickle (A Metalocalypse Fanfic)

I don't always write fanfic, but when I do it... um... I don't know how to end that. There's basically no Pickles and his nephew content, so I decided to give the fandom what it probably didn't need but has anyway now. The story basically just came to me as a series of scenes and eventually I just decided to write those scenes, string them together, and say screw the rest.

Also on Ao3

Nathan found Pickles sitting at the kitchen table of Mordhaus, glaring at a brightly colored card in his hands like it had stolen the last bottle of vodka on the planet. He would have just grabbed the bag of chips he was after and left the drummer to… whatever it was he was doing, if Pickles hadn’t spoken up.

“He’s pure evil, Nathan.”

“Uhhh… who?” Nathan was only half paying attention, carefully considering the weighty decision of barbeque versus salt and vinegar flavor.

“Seth,” Pickles spat with the venom he reserved for his family.

Having ultimately decided on both flavors for his snack, Nathan wondered what Pickles’ asshole brother had to do with a card covered with multicolored balloons and confetti. His questions were soon answered as Pickles stood from his seat at the table, pacing and waving the card in the air.

“I thought I knew how low that motherfucker could sink! But no, this time he can’t just try to worm his way into my life and bleed me dry like he always does. Now he’s getting his fuckin’ kid in on the act!” He punctuated the rant by slapping the card down on the table. Now invested in the drama, Nathan picked the offending paper up, squinting at the text without the aid of his glasses. The outside cheerfully announced “You’re Invited!,” a handwritten note inside that somehow felt slimy for Nathan to read.

Pickles,

Little Davey’s turning 5 next week, and he says he wants his Uncle Pickles to come to his birthday party more than anything. I know you’re busy being a big hotshot rock star and shit, but you better not disappoint my little man. Party’s at my place on the 17that noon. Make sure to get him something good.

-Seth

It was times like these that made Nathan glad to be an only child with no obligations like these to deal with.

“Couldn’t you just… Not go?” Nathan offered sagely. It seemed like the easiest solution to the problem, and he wasn’t particularly interested in thinking too hard about helping Pickles with his family crap.

“And give that douchebag more reasons to think I owe him something? No,” Pickles slumped back into his seat at the table, “I gotta go to my nephew’s birthday party.”

“I still don’ts gets why you wanteds me to helps you picks out a borthsday present?”

Pickles looked Toki dead in the eyes; picturing his collections of stuffed animals and the model airplanes that hung from his bedroom ceiling, the pastel fleece pajamas he wore when he watched cartoons in the living room eating the sugariest cereals his diabetes would allow. Pickles smiled and put a hand on his shoulder.

“’Cause you’re a good pal.”

Toki seemed to buy it, a wide smile breaking out on his face.

“Aww, t’anks Pickle!”

From the moment they entered the toy store, Pickles already felt overwhelmed by the sea of plastic and plush. He hoped he could keep Toki focused for long enough for them to find something suitable for a five year old. He let Toki lead the way, the two musicians wandering the brightly colored aisles. Pickles immediately vetoed anything clown related Toki tried to suggest. Only people who had childhoods as fucked up as Toki’s actually liked clowns, and Pickles hoped to the metal gods that Seth wasn’t that much of a piece of shit to his kid. They examined toy weapons construction sets and science kits, debated the merits of ninjas versus pirates versus superheroes. Finally, Pickles’ attention was caught by a flash of metallic green. He picked up a hefty box proudly showing off a robotic dinosaur and remote control inside. It was expensive enough that Seth couldn’t call him a cheapskate over it, and he couldn’t see any of those small parts that were bad for little kids for some reason.

“Hey, what about this one?” He held the box up to Toki for approval.

“Oh, cools! Ja, dat’s a good ones! Everybody likes de dinosaurs, rights?”

That was certainly true. Even as Pickles’ interests had turned to rock n’ roll and illicit substances as a kid, he still remembered having a healthy appreciation for a good old t-rex or stegosaurus. As they left with his present and several items for Toki, as they had agreed, Pickles felt a little better about the whole party ordeal. Maybe he could actually do this.

He couldn’t do this.

Pickles was baking in the Australian heat, his only source of respite his cup of what used to be fruit punch, now replaced completely with whiskey from his hip flask. His father glared at him from across the yard every time he pulled it out, but Pickles was beyond caring at that point. He supposed he was lucky to have avoided his mom for as long as he did, but she had him cornered and was on her usual lecture of how Seth was so responsible and such a good father and what was Pickles doing with his life, still playing around with that band of his. In the background, Amber chatted with other equally disinterested looking moms, a handful of rowdy kids wrestled in the dirt while their dads, the greasy lowlife types that always seemed to flock around Pickle’s brother, made shady deals amongst themselves. Sitting at the table piled with presents and a plain looking blue and white sheet cake was little David, playing a handheld video game, having long given up on trying to play with the other kids. Pickles felt bad that he had initially assumed the kid was in on Seth’s manipulative bullshit. He had thought his nephew would be a little hellspawn, like his brother had been as a child. Instead Pickles only saw a lonely little boy, trying to enjoy a crappy birthday party. Pickles felt like he was being suffocated under all this heat and judgment, but he had decided when he saw David that he wouldn’t let his family get to him, even as they weighed him down with their usual complaints. He was surprised when his relief came from Seth.

“Alright, time for presents!”

As David unwrapped generic sports equipment and t-shirts for year old movies, Pickles started to feel better about his presence at the party. At least he had gotten a good present for the kid. At least they couldn’t give him shit about that. Pickles felt himself stand a little taller as Seth pulled out his present.

“This one’s from your Uncle Pickles. Should be a good one, he’s really rich,” Seth said, directed completely at Pickles. David unwrapped his toy and Pickles swore he saw a sparkle in the boy’s eyes for the first time that afternoon. His growing pride was soon squashed by a mutter from his brother.

“Guy’s got all the money in the fuckin’ world and only gets the kid one present.”

Of course.

“I can’t believe you, Pickles,” his mother said from behind him.

Of. Fucking. Course.

“You don’t visit your nephew even once since he was born, and now you think you can just buy your way into his life with some expensive toy?” Molly had wormed her way in front of Pickles, “You make me sick.”

That was it. He couldn’t take this anymore.

“God, there’s nothing I can do right for you people, is there?”

It was then that the birthday boy burst into tears and ran into the house, leaving his brand new robot dinosaur half-opened on the table.

“Look what you’ve done now, Pickles!”

Pickles had stomped into Seth's kitchen in search of more booze, but instead he stumbled on his nephew curled into a tiny sniffling ball under the table. He kneeled down to the boy’s level and tried to speak as gently as possible.

“Hey, buddy. You doin’ ok?”

David minutely shook his head. Dumb question.

“Mind if I sit next to you?”

The boy shrugged. Pickles squashed himself into the little space, for once thankful for his short stature. He had no idea what to do now. He didn’t even know how to comfort a grown adult, much less a little kid.

“Hey, um. I’m sorry if you didn’t like your present. I can, uh, buy you something else if that helps?”

“No, I like it.” David’s voice was small and quiet. Pickles realized that this was the first time he had actually talked to his nephew, beyond the awkward greeting they’d shared earlier that day.

“So, uh, something else up then?”

The little boy was silent for a moment.

“The party was so boring. Daddy didn’t invite my friends, just those mean kids from my class and their weird dads. And then everybody started yelling and-“ He whimpered and curled in on himself tighter. Pickles took a chance and put a hand on the boy’s back, rubbing gently.

“Yeah. Doesn’t sound like a very fun birthday. I’m sorry.”

“I thought it would be fun with you here.”

Pickles was taken aback by that. He had assumed that Seth had been lying about David wanting him there.

“You really wanted me to come?”

The boy looked up at Pickles with watery eyes, his expression serious as a five year old’s could be.

“You’re so cool! You’re a rock star and you’re my uncle! But-but you don’t like me…”

“No, no, no!” Pickles interjected quickly. God, he was the worst uncle in the world. “I do like you! It’s just… Our family… They aren’t the nicest people to be around. But you’re not like that.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, you’re cool. Rock stars can always tell when somebody’s cool.”

Pickles saw that little bit of sparkle return to his nephew’s eyes. He wondered if there was a way he could keep it there.

“Hey, I got an idea. Tomorrow, would you wanna spend the day hanging around with your Uncle Pickles and his band?”

“No, nope, nuh-uh. No way we’re spending the day hanging around with some little kid.” Was what the members of Dethklok said five minutes before meeting Pickles’ nephew David. Five minutes aftermeeting him, the band was dead set on giving the kid the best, most metal post-birthday a boy could ask for. The six stormed arcades, ice cream parlors, even a petting zoo (partly with the logic that Australian petting zoos are more brutal because everything in Australia can kill you, partly with insistence from Toki.) One by one, the band’s uncaring brutal facades began to crack under the innocent wonder of a small child.

Nathan spent a good portion of the day with David perched on his shoulders, the two intently discussing the brutality of various dinosaurs.

Skwisgaar ate up the enraptured way the boy watched him play, which led to the guitarist pulling out increasingly more complicated techniques to keep his attention.

Murderface and Toki delighted in crafting elaborate and violent stories for the monster finger puppets and tiny parachuters David had won at the arcade.

By the time they were on the Dethcopter heading for Seth’s place, the band was seriously discussing the merits of adopting/kidnapping/buying him from his parents, before they realized there was actual work involved in having the kid around and promptly gave up on that idea. David left the chopper with his uncle to a chorus of suspiciously un-brutal sounding goodbyes. Just before reaching the front door, the little boy abruptly turned and threw his arms around Pickles’ waist.

“Thanks Uncle Pickles.”

“No problem buddy,” Pickles replied, awkwardly returning the hug as best as he could.

“Can you come visit again?”

He knew he should say no. Seeing David again meant dealing with Seth, and Pickles didn’t know if he could deal with seeing that greedy douche’s face on a regular basis. But with those big eyes staring up at him from that sweet freckled face…

“Of course, any time kiddo.”

Seth opened the door to let his son in, immediately questioning him on what kinds of things he’d managed to make his uncle pay for. Just before the door closed, David looked back at Pickles with a smile and held up his hand in the classic devil horns.

Yeah. Pickles could deal with Seth for this kid.

#metalocalypse #pickles the drummer #the rest of dethklok are there to to varying degrees #fanfic #how long has it been since i've written fic? #idk #if my art hasn't proven how much or an un-metal sap i am this fic sure will

[goodnightkisseu-main]

Wanna One In San Jose Fan Account~

So, now that it's after the concert, and I'm feeling all sorts of things, here's my highlights/what I remember from the concert! I’ll split this itno parts. So I put the stuff about the boys and the concert first (since that’s probably what ppl are interested in, lol), and then things from the rest of my day like lining up, meeting mutuals, getting freebies, giving out freebies, etc. ^^

Also note: I’m leaving this concert even more confused as to the order of Ong, Daniel, and Jisung in my biases, like it’s all a mess now OTL

Read more under the cut cuz this is long!

Concert Highlights

So security was kind of strict about video. Like I know a lot are floating around, but they stopped ppl from taking pics and filming a lot. I was unlucky because I was maybe like one row from the front, but the security guard stood right in front of me and always looking in my direction so I couldn’t pull out my phone... or I was too chicken, so I wasn’t able to take any video or pics. ;; Sorry ;;

I’m also... short, so it was hard to see at times unfortunately ;;

I was situated near the bridge tothe extended stage on the left side. I had started off with maybe 4 rows of ppl in front of me, but eventually found myself only one row from the bridge to the extended stage section o.o I got to see the boys walking by a lot. 

Speaking of, the boys spent more time on the extended stage than I thought. Jihoon, Daehwi, Jinyoung, and sometimes Woojin, Jaehwan and Guanlin spent a lot of time on the left side. I believe Minhyun was too but on the actual extended stage (?)

Additionally, Jisung usually walked by, but never stood on the left side. However, he would always wave and look at those as he waved and ah... Jisung in person is just... I can’t... he just... he’s got this really kind aura and I’m a mess >< He looked in my direction a couple times, maybe we made eye contact, I’m not sure, but his visuals in person are no joke. All of them are like this, in my opinion though ><

On the topic of Jisung... you guys... DJ Jisung... it was not something I knew I needed, and after this concert, I can’t let it go ;; Jisung looked like he was having soooo much fun DJing and not only that, he looked good doing it. I have lots to say about DJ Jisung, but I’ll keep it brief here. 

I guess since I started with Jisung, I’ll just do fan accounts for each of the boys from here. 

Sungwoon I didn’t get to see often, but my goodness, they were doing aegyo and they had him do puppy aegyo and it was so cute! ;A; 

Also Sungwoon’s vocals are no joke. For  영원+1, his voice was oh so good live >< 

I didn’t get to see Minhyun a lot ;; Most of what I heard from him was from Kim (thank goodness he saw her!) But from what I did see when I was looking around during ments and during ‘갖고 싶’ was that he was looking around at everyone, like looking at all of the fans. He really scanned the audience, it was kind of amazing ><

Also, unsurprising of Minhyun, those visuals in real life are stunning o.o Oh and dat dance solo.... my goodness x.x

Ong ;; So I didn’t get to see Ong often because he spent most of his time on the right side of the stage or, for ments, in the front and to the left, which I was not near. So I don’t have much to say unfortunately. ;; 

But what I can say, is that he really was interacting with all of the fans ;; if they made a heart towards him, he would make it back. If he saw a sign, he would wave. He’s really the sweetest.

Also Ong is super handsome. Like super, super handsome. Idk how he’s expecting me to function from now on, cuz I won’t be able to OTL 

He’s also a bit of a mess in all the right ways though. Like when he forgot to run back to the extended stage for the rest of ‘ 나야나’. He’s adorable, a man after my heart ><

Jaehwannnnnn! Those vocals are AMAZING! They had him singing the beginning of ‘너의 이름을’ without a backtrack and wow, just wow. I can still hear it, it’s so good ><

He was on the left side briefly and was super adorable ;;

So. Daniel. Idk if I can write this without sounding like a mess >< Unfortunately for me, he was also on the right side a lot. So I didn’t get to see him much until the end.

The white confetti at end was INTENSE! I legit thought I almost swallowed some x.x But that was when Daniel walked by and my heart probably stopped momentarily. He was making hearts and what not in my area and it was all so much that I don’t even remember if I made a heart back (I think I did) He just... he’s just...wow o///o

Also somehow, during most of the concert, Daniel’s position was in such a way where, from my vantage point, everyone’s heads framed him so that I could see him clearly ;A; He was probably the one I saw performing the most cuz he was the only one I could see. Daniel’s stage presence is no joke.

I could talk about Daniel’s visuals but I would be a puddle by the end so I won’t ><” I will say that he has a very cool and chill presence to himself. I was a little surprised, but in a good way ^^

Jihoon is a soft child, can I adopt him?! He’s trying so hard to be manlier but it’s making him cuter and it’s so adorable. You know what else is adorable? The bullet below.

I believe that it was during "Always" Jihoon was right in front of me, and I decided to do "내 마음 속에 저장". He was looking directly at me, saw it, and stopped for a second. Maybe he was thinking if he should do it back after promising he wouldn't anymore? Whatever it was his expression was cute xD After a second he finally waved at me >< It was adorable af, like my heart couldn't handle >///< (I AM BOLDING THIS BECAUSE IT WAS SO FREAKING CUTE)

Woojin was also super sweet ;A; He was waving to a lot of fans on the left side and he really looked like he was having fun ;;

Oh and the 2Park dance solo was sooooo good. All of the dance solos were good tbh >< I just can’t comment much cuz it was hard to see ;;

Baejinnnnn ;A; omg... I call him my son a lot, and tbh, after seeing him in person, I feel even prouder of him ;; he spent a lot of time on my side of the stage and was in front of me a couple of times. He was waving to everyone and I think we made eye contact a couple of times. Jinyoung... he really has a very gentle look in his eyes and a gentle aura overall ;; the sweestest boy. ;;

This being said, he was also smack dab right in front of me during the ‘보여’ and... okay Jinyoung, okay O.O He did really well >< Idk what else to say. He’s like my kid ><

Daehwi was so sweet ;A; he spoke in English I believe for the entirety of the concert. >< he also would crouch down and interact with fans ;; Such a sweet boy ;;

Guanlin!!! you guys... that blond hair actually looks really good. I’m always concerned with blond hair, but he looked great! And his dance solo was also nice! ;; He also spoke in english a lot ^^

Equally Important Highlights 

I arrived at about 11am and it wasn't too bad for most lines. The longest line by that time was VIP. I then proceeded to hand out my freebie chibis (thank you everyone that picked one up!) which ended up drawing a larger crowd than expected (sorry staff of the event center! ;;) It was a lot of fun meeting everyone! ya'll were so adorable and hearing ppl call my art cute is... idk how to handle it. I wasn't used to those types of compliments ;;

Also I was so excited to hear people asking for all of the members equally. Like oftentimes it feels like certain members have more fans, but hearing ppl ask for all of them, I... I feel so happy ;;

Thanks to Kim for taking a pic of these for me, cuz your girl goofed and didn’t do it before the concert and they were gone in like 30 mins ><”

Speaking of... I met Kim @nothingwithoutwannaone​, and she is the sweetest. We headed out for some lunch the following day cuz why not XD I had so much fun chilling with you ;; Let me know if you’re ever in the LA area!

I also got to meet @hopesdreamsandalatte and @maybe-spring and they were sooooo cute ;A; I felt like a big sister (which, most probably don’t know, but I’m the baby of my family) so I really wanted to take care of them. They were so full of energy tho, and by that time I was kind of running low on it from being outside for almost 8 hours at that point. So thank you, the both of you for giving me energy again. ^^

I ended up getting a handful of freebies, some of which I ended up in line for accidentally. Like  was standing there and all of a sudden a line would form. My freebie luck was strangely good.. mostly for Ong freebies XD I also got to meet the site masters for WeddingDate and PickOngUp. They were so nice ;;  I also bought a banner from HereToday ;; I unfortunately did not get anything for Daniel because they all went pretty fast ><

Everything on the left was freebies. The items on the right are the slogan pack I bought ^^

So in the end, I had a ton of fun and met a ton of cool people. Wanna One is the group that’s gotten me back into KPop, so thank you to everyone for making the concert a lot of fun! ^^

#wanna one #wanna one in san jose #wanna one world tour #sorry this is so long it took me forever to write up >< #i wanted to talk about each of the boys but i realized that I didn't get to see some of them a lot ;;

[radical-boy]

Adventure.txt

I walked up the concrete stairs--two steps!--and then I was out of breath. Anyone would be out of breath if they were carrying as many books as I was. I couldn’t help it though; I was studying to pass the IQ test! Those who did not pass were never chosen. I was going to be chosen though--they laugh at me now but they won’t be when I’m the Dragon Master!!!!!!!

Today’s field of study was flight. I had to make sure I could answer every riddle the Dragon King would ask me about flight. Chihuahuas are good dogs even if they are hideous. Their light weight made them perfect for long-distance flying companions, but it was a little known fact that dragons preferred them. Preferred them to eat, that is!!! In truth, cats made much better companions; they never fall off.

“Meow! Ready for the test yet?” my feline companion Griswald asked--she talks.

“Yes Crookshanks,” I called her affectionately, even though she hated the Harry Potter series.

“Ay! Me name’s GRISWALD ye twat!” she yowled.

I set my books down on the table and held my hands out for cuddles. Griswald side-eyed me, but quickly gave in. Not even a grumpy cat could resist cuddles. She purred in delight as I scratched the backs of her ears. Lava is a great way to wipe shit off yer ass. That’s how dragons do it anyways, with their fireproof scales. I aspire to that level of hardass. And if I was--when I was--chosen to be the Dragon Master, I finally will reach that aspiration.

WWWWEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! It was the alarm to take the IQ test!!! It sure woke everyone up 100%. I quickly scampered out of the library, ditching my books. Griswald grabbed onto my clothes tightly and held on as we sprinted to the exam building. It was in the center of town, just past the fruit venders… and I stopped because I smelled some delicious apple pie.

“Don’t get distracted!” Griswald yowled in my ear, digging her claws into my shoulder just a pinch.

“OW! Jeez, okay.”

The building was the ugliest in town. It was tall and grey and had just one window all the way up on the fourth floor. That was how flying dragons got in and out. Everyone else had to enter through the big white front door, and answer a riddle before the guard would let them in. To dragons, riddles were just like memes. Dragons loved memes; in fact, they created a guild called The Meme Loving Fucks. Most of the riddles at the door were just memes these days. I approached the front door and knocked three times--as was customary-- and the guard opened a little peephole.

“Here come dat boi,” a tiny green dragon gurgled through an alligator-like mouth.

“Oh shit…” I whispered.

“WHADDUP!!!” screeched Griswald, winking at me.

The dragon was most impressed, thinking we had planned that out beforehand. I, however, was still very confused--why did Griswald shout “whaddup” into me ear????? I didn’t dare ask though, and instead slipped past the chortling swamp dragon.  

“So, you dare enter my building and place of knowledge, eh? To take the IQ test, I presume??” said the swamp dragon.

“Yes,” I said to the guard, “which way should I go?”

“The opposite of Left Shark,” the dragon guard said.

“Ah, I see,” I said, though I did not, in fact, see. I was blind. The lights inside were so bright, I could only make out the corners of the rooms.

“Uhhh… go that way,” Griswald whispered, pointing to the right.

“Face God and walk backwards into hell!” the guard said in traditional parting. I bowed, kissing my kneecaps in the traditional way, and gallivanted off into the distance.

“Just follow the memes,” Griswald advised as the lights dimmed to visible luminance.

The hallway was one long mural painted with a large green ogre, and on the floor the word cofveve was inscribed golden cursive letters.  We got to the other end, and the hall forked off into five different directions.

“Which way should we go first?” I asked Griswald.

“YOU MEAN YOU DON’T RECOGNIZE WHICH HALLWAY HAS A MEME?” she screamed into my ear.

“Uh….” I stammered, not knowing a thing.

“Obviously, we go right, towards The Colors of the Sky mural on the wall,” she grumbled. I looked towards the rightmost tunnel, which had Do You Love The Colors of The Sky? written above the entrance. The walk was long, but beautiful, and I felt like I was flying through the changing sky. Soon, it got dark in the tunnel, and I wanted to lay down and sleep under the beautiful stars.

Grisland gently kneaded her paws in me to keep me awake. The kneading was soothing and made me want to sleep even more; I laid down gently on the floor and promptly began to snore.

Griswald used a very powerful spell to wake me up, screaming, “WAKE ME UP INSIDE!” to jar me from my slumber.

“SANTIAGO” I shouted upon waking, as was customary.

“What good manners,” Griswald praised me. She licked my hair into my face so I was more emo than before.

Finally, the hallway was colored dawn, and I felt more awake and refreshed than ever. The hallway opened into a big, huge circle with a ladder going up and a trap door in the middle of the room. Unfortunately, the trap door was covered in some very alluring Comic Sans. It didn’t matter what was written in the most holy of fonts; I was compelled to enter.

The door fell out under my feet and Griswald screamed in utter bliss as we plummeted down into the darkness. Once again, I felt the supreme desire to sleep, but I stayed awake because I didn’t want to hear any more of Griswork’s “singing.” The dark hole slowly began to take on the shape and color of a distantly familiar meme. Suddenly, I was sitting on a cloud, coming up over the horizon. Griswald’s fur bristled up so much she looked like a Tribble.

“Ba?! Ha ba ba?!! Ha bagada!!” a dog barked from a red airplane.

“I hate this meme,” Grisland yowled quietly. I, however, loved it.

“Ba! Ba! Ba!” the dog and I barked in total harmony. We began to sing and it resonated against the viscous cloud I perched upon, vibrating ever-so-slightly until it faded along with the other dog. At first, it looked like the void we were falling through was turning black again. But instead, flowers appeared in the distance and the air grew more and more liquid until I was sure we were underwater.

“GET BACK TO WORK ME BOYYYYYYYYYYOOOOO!!!!” a voice yelled louder than sound itself.

“Which meme is this?” I asked the cat.

“This meme represents the overlord bourgeois demanding endless work from the lowly proletariat,” she answered solemnly. I watched as the yellow square shaped “boyo” excitedly scampered into a kitchen area.

“I love you Krabby Patty,” he whispered to some juicy meat pressed between swollen buns. The Krabby Patty grew to the size of a small luxury vehicle and embraced the boyo.

“We should go,” Griswald said, tears in her voice. “Us mortals were not meant to see such beauty.” I agreed, but I was no longer in control of where we would go; a force I could not understand would take us to and fro.

Suddenly, an ax came through the flowery wall! An evil cackle was heard and I looked around and we were in a forest! I could no longer find that horrible ax anywhere around me. I looked down at my leg, feeling something odd, and saw that it was oozing blood!

“SHIA SURPRISE!” Griswald warned me, looking behind me in horror. I wrestled the burly man for the ax in his hand, and then I discovered myself decapitating my would-be assassin.

With a thud, we hit the bottom of the long void we’d been falling through, music playing in the distance as the dead body slowly faded.

Mmm whatcha sayyy, the music somberly screeched. I felt tears fill my eyes. I was ready for the next test.

“ARE YOU READY FOR A ROUND OF GUESS-THE-NEXT-LYRICS?????” boomed a very, VERY large dragon who descended upon us.

“HELL YEAH!” I shouted in equal glee.

“Then prepare your mortal heart for the biggest musical sounds in history…”

I stilled my beating heart and prepared myself for what came next.

The dragon opened its mouth and bellowed, “I AM GAY, GAY, GAY!” and then looked at me for the next lyrics.

I closed my eyes and felt time slow before me as I belted the next lyrics: “I LIKE LONG BIG COCKS, I AM SUPER SUPER GAY, I LIKE LONG BIG COCKS!!!!”

The dragon, with tears of lava pouring from their eyes, nodded in passionate agreement and said, “Let’s try a more aged song.”

I smiled, ready to accept my next challenge.

In a screechy voice, the dragon sang, “We’re no strangers to looooooooove…”

I instantly knew what I had to do next; I had to sing. “You know the rules! And so Do I!!”

The rest of the lyrics played over some loud speakers and confetti began to fly. It was the Dragon Conglomerate Anthem; every citizen knew it by heart. It played now on every speaker in the world to announce that I had passed the IQ test.

“Congration, you done it,” the dragon cried, handing me a diploma. It was, of course, written in Comic Sans. Its soft pink paper absorbed my tears and the glitter delicately coated every layer of my body. The anthem faded into a smooth Vaporwave version of the song--the Victory Version of the Dragon Conglomerate Anthem. Dragons everywhere came out of the shadows and began to dance and pulse to the pounding rhythm. My skin began to turn to scales as I joined dragonkind. The transformation was almost complete; I just had one more thing to do before I gained my wings.

“Go,” the dragon said, “and seek the Bone Hurting Juice potion to gain your wings.”

I didn’t want to; I was afraid; I was petrified.

“What if I give you a better meme?” I offered them.

“Then you would be a wingless dragon, for I cannot grant you the wings you must have.”

I understood. I evaporated into the black abyss in search of my potion. The first place I thought to search was Candy Mountain.

“You’ve got to come to Candy Mountain with us, Chaaaaarlieee,” a pretty pink unicorn sighed.

“Dear god, keep an eye on your kidney,” Griswaln warned. I took an eyeball out of my head, placing the spare on my kidney; if any of those fuckers tried to steal my kidney, I would be the first to know about it.

The pretty licorice letters began to sing and dance for me.

#if I dont get five notes i wont write ANY MORE #by lyle and hayden #adventure.txt

[imagine-it-danganronpa-blog]

Can I get the boys with their s/o on St Patricks day??

I don’t know too much about the event itself but I certainly hope I met your standards, anon! Also, it was really fun to write!

Korekiyo Shinguuji

This man is so hyped for St Patrick’s day

You can’t tell he’s excited by normally speaking to him before the actual day, and you actually don’t find out how happy he is until the morning of March 17th

Because st patrick's day is all about irish folklore!! Why the hell would he not go full out on St patrick’s day???

Tbh he probably wears green so much in remembrance of the leprechauns

When you wake up all you see is green confetti everywhere

Your clothes for the day are all green (the shirt says kiss me i'm irish)

The breakfast waiting for you downstairs is green (the shape of the pancake is probably supposed to be a clover)

KOREKIYO IS PAINTED IN GREEN AND HE IS WEARING ONE OF THOSE SMALL GREEN MAN HATS

And somehow he has green flowers downstairs for you?? Apparently they are Hydrangeas and they represent wellness and youth and harmony

When you two leave the house to go on a very special St patrick’s day stroll, he refuses to wash any of the paint off his face. He also refuses to not pinch anything that is not wearing green

He also makes sure anything he eats that day is green and that when, at night, he will prepare a cold/warm bath for you and him

And its green

Obviously

The entire day, unlike your boyfriend, you are spending the day laughing at his adorable plans

Because when do you get to see a normally composed man get so excited about little green men??

Rantarou Amami Avocado Son

Okay so if you insist on wearing green, then he has to too.

But he doesn’t want to! It doesn’t really fit his pair of jeans for that day. But he has green hair, so you can stop trying to pinch him now!

Honestly, he doesn’t celebrate it much, but he finds your excitement of the silly basics really cute

He even buys you a tacky shirt that says “Kiss me, I’m Irish”

It’s mostly just an excuse to kiss you more

Ouma Kokichi

Normally, when you see members of ouma’s secret society, they wear dark purple.

But today, they are all wearing the brightest neon green that there is in the universe.

And they are running around, pinching random strangers who are not wearing green

You often wear green on St patrick’s day, but you are over shadowed by Ouma’s Pepe mask and DAT BOI costume

He’s also wearing one of those kiss me im irish shirts and is dangling four leaf clover necklaces over your neck

And because at midnight, when it was March 17th, you were wearing gray pajamas and not green, Ouma pinched you until you would at least put on green socks

So you are laughing at his pranks because they are so funny, while strangers are yelling at him and his comrades for disturbing the peace.

And if leprechauns are supposed to represent pranks, then you have one small ouma-chaun for this St patrick's day!!

Shuuchi Saihara

He doesn’t really celebrate St Patrick’s day...

But nevertheless, he will wear green, although it clashes with his normally black outfit

So can you please stop pinching him?

He also buys you a bag of chocolate coins because after being surrounding by merchandise all day he starts to get into the mood

He thinks it’s adorable how excited you are over this holiday so he buys you little four leaf clover stickers and lets you stick some on his face

But you think it's cute when you see how red his face becomes when you put stickers on him

Kaito Momota

You two get into the ultimate pinching war the moment you wake up

Because no one has green pajamas and no one was wearing green when St Patrick’s day started!!

So one hand is trying to get through the sleeve of your sweater and the other one is trying to defend yourself from Kaito’s pinches

After you are both change, Kaito brings out some green paint and he asks you to paint his face with those “cool stripes that make me look tough”

He says he’s going to war

But with who?

He’s going after Ouma this St. Patrick’s day??

And he’s going to try and pinch him as much as possible??

And he wants your help to ambush Ouma??

You’re not sure how well it's going to turn out. But Kaito is so excited and he looks like a pleading puppy so you can’t help but offer your assistance

The moment you reach Ouma’s base, it’s oddly quiet. His house isn’t decorated at all and there are no society members outside

Kaito thinks this is the perfect opportunity

But the moment he takes another step you two are ambushed and SABOTAGED!!

Ouma has set up his members with cannons that shoot out green paint! And they are spraying you two with a whole lot of it!

Kaito’s first instinct is to push you down and shield your body from ouma’s attacks. By the time the members leave, you and Kaito are plastered in green paint.

Kaito is completely green and it’s hilarious

He’s a bit disappointed that he didn’t get to attack Ouma but you’re laughing and smiling and that’s all that matters to him.

So when you go back home to clean yourselves off, you’re laughing all the way

It has definitely been the most eventful St. Patrick’s day you had!

Kiibo

What? He’s supposed to wear green otherwise he gets pinched??

Kiibo is very confused

And you are also very confused because you have no idea how to pinch a robot.

But Kiibo doesn’t have any clothes. And all of the clothes that are green from your closet don’t fit him!

Fine! We will just go see Iruma!

Iruma also pinches him the moment that you see her, and it’s a bit difficult to explain your dilemma

So she tinkers with some things in the corner and somehow she concocts a green paint for metal that will wash off when wiped off with a moist towel

Kiibo’s a little iffy about the moist towelette, but when you remind him that Iruma water-proofed him a while back, he becomes more reassured.

So now you spend the day with a happy green robot

“This is what humans do, right?”

When you go home and clean him off, he thanks you with multiple kisses!

So happy ending!

Unfortunately his face was still green when he kissed you and some of the paint got onto your face

Happy ending?

Gonta Gokuhara

You brought one of those “Kiss me, I’m Irish” hats from the nearby store

So when you got home that night, Gonta just looked at you questioningly.

Why does he have to kiss you because you’re Irish?

You say it's just a quote for St. Patrick’s day

St patrick’s day? Did Gonta forget to celebrate an important event with his s/o? Gonta starts apologising immediately because not celebrating an important event with his loved one is not gentlemanly at all!

Gonta’s so busy worrying about it but Gonta still asks you what people do on that day

Oh, they pinch people who aren’t wearing green, do silly pranks, and basically celebrate irish folklore

Gonta had a look of terror when Gonta realises that MOST OF HIS BUGS ARE NOT GREEN

You try to calm Gonta down when Gonta immediately gets up to go craft some “bug clothes”. Don’t worry! People won’t pinch Gonta’s bugs!

But if Gonta is going to celebrate St Patrick’s Day right, then Gonta must pinch anyone who is not wearing green.

Including his bugs (Because they deserve to be treated like people)

You end up watching Gonta for a straight four hours making “Bug clothes” out of scrap material and dressing each individual bug

It is the sweetest thing and you absolutely love this gentle giant.

Ryoma Hoshi

He refuses to wear the outfit you picked for him today.

It’s not that he doesn’t want to disappoint you or insult your fashion sense...

But out of all things, why did you buy him a leprechaun costume?

After lots of nagging, you finally convince him to put it on.

He still refuses to put on the beard and will still keep his adorable beanie. But whatever! At least you two will match now!

Other than that your day is pretty normal. The only difference is that you cannot stop laughing because Ryoma looks absolutely ADORABLE

It’s definitely not the last time you will ask him to wear such ridiculous costumes!

You also make sure to reward him with lots of small kisses and stuff like that

#ryoma hoshi #Danganronpa v3 #danganronpa #ndrv3 #ndrv3 boys #ndrv3 imagines #korekiyo shinguuji #amami rantarou #ouma kokichi #shuichi saihara #kaito momota #kiibo #gonta gokuhara #Mod Kirumi #st patricks day #fluff